Coffee Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on coffee puns! ☕ Whether you’re looking for coffee puns for a photo caption, crafting the perfect coffee pun pickup line, hunting for coffee one-liners, or just want some corny pun-based coffee jokes, I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for here 🙂 If not, please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page!

Most coffee puns centre around one of 3 general topics: names of different types of coffee (espresso, mocha, etc.), coffee preparation utensils/procedures (plunger, grind, roast, mug, caffeine etc.) and coffee ingredients/products (sugar, grounds, cream, etc.). Mug puns seem to be a particular favourite on the internet and are included in this entry, but may also get their own entry at some point.

As usual there are related words, related phrase, coffee jokes, and visual coffee puns (comics, memes, etc.) further down the page.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on tea puns and food puns.

Coffee Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about coffee that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
  • Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
  • Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane have been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
  • Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground
  • Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
  • Bitter: As in “He cam to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
  • Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
  • Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
  • Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
  • * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
  • Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
  • Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
  • Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
  • Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
  • Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
  • Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
  • Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
  • Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break”. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid
  • Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
  • Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
  • Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we ca do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
  • Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
  • The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
  • Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
  • Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!).
  • Turkish: Same explanation as above.
  • Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
  • Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
  • Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
  • Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
  • Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc
  • Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.” and “”
  • Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
  • Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
  • Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
  • Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
  • Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
  • Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
  • Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
  • Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
  • Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!”. It is also used as a term of endearment as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
  • Fair tradeThis term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
  • Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
  • Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
  • Cup: This has a few different meaning outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
  • Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
  • They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
  • Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
  • Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (This is a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
  • Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
  • Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
  • Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun.
  • Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped form the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
  • I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
  • Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema make the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
  • Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
  • Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
  • Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be s subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
  • Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
  • Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
  • Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • back office bean counter
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • don’t cry over spilt milk
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • get in on the ground floor
  • both feet on the ground
  • hit the ground running
  • in hot water
  • that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee
  • spill the beans
  • cool beans
  • not my cup of tea
  • tea and sympathy
  • brake fluid
  • you got creamed
  • different kettle of fish
  • the pot calling the kettle black
  • a watched pot never boils
  • between the cup and the lip
  • a storm is brewing
  • storm in a teacup
  • trouble is brewing
  • Have another? Please share it in the comments at the bottom of the page!

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

  • How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
  • What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  • Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
  • How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  • What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
  • What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂

Bread Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on bread puns! 🍞 Bread is one of the more popular topics for word play on the internet, probably because there are so many different types of breads, all with unusual foreign names that are great for making puns of. This entry covers all the well-known bread puns, plus quite a few more that haven’t been used-to-death yet. It also includes toast puns and until Punpedia gets big enough to warrant distinct entries for them, this is the entry for baking puns / bakery puns too.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food puns, donut puntspasta puns, potato puns, cooking puns and pizza puns.

Bread Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about bread that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • She better → Ciabatta: The term “ciabatta” is pronounced like “shi-batta” and refers to a floury-crusted Italian bread. Examples: “Ciabatta study hard if she wants to pass the test.” and “Ciabatta bet quick, we’re nearly sold out!”
  • None → Naan: As in “I don’t want naan of that.” and “A jack of all trades and a master of naan.” and “Naan the wiser.” and “Naan the wiser.” and “Naan of your business!” and “Second to naan.”
  • No one → Naan: As in “Naan’s home at the moment, but you can leave a message after the tone.”
  • Grain: As in “I’m going to go against the grain here and say …” and “There’s a grain of truth in what he’s saying.” and “I’d take it with a grain of salt.”
  • Serial → Cereal: As in “There’s a cereal killer on the loose.”
  • Surreal → Cereal: As in “The view from the summit was cereal.” and “I love impressionism and cereal art.”
  • Stone → Scone: As in “The philosopher’s scone.” and “Leave no scone unturned.” and “Sticks and scones may break my bones …”
  • Its/It’s going → ‘Scone: As in “Scone to be a lot of fun!” and “Scone swimmingly.”
  • Its/It’s gone → ‘Scone: As in “It’s not coming back son. Scone.” and “Scone worse than we expected.”
  • *s can’t → Scone’t: “This scone’t go on much longer.”
  • Wait → Wheat: As in “Wheat a second…” and “I am lying in wheat.” and “Wheat and see.”
  • We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
  • We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
  • What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
  • Bred → Bread: As in “Perfect table manners! You’re well bread.” and “My dog is a pure bread.”
  • Brad → Bread: As in “When’s Bread Pitt’s next film coming out?”
  • Roll: As in “We’re on a roll!” and “Ready to roll?” and “She’s a great roll model.” and “Traditional gender rolls are lame.” and “Did she make the honour roll?”
  • Loaf: As in “Stop loafing around! Get up and do something!” (To “loaf” is to waste time and laze about)
  • Laugh → Loaf: As in “Loafter is the best medicine.” and “And he loafed right in my face.” and “I’m loafing my head off.”
  • Love → Loaf: As in “I loaf you <3″ and “The world needs more loaf.”
  • Life → Loaf: As in “Loaf is like a box o chocolates.” and “All walks of loaf.” and “It was a loaf-changing experience.” and “As large as loaf.” and “Living the high loaf.” and “Hold on for dear loaf!” and “Loaf coach” and “Loaf in the fast lane.” and “Loaf support.” and “Loaf’s too short.” and “I had the time of my loaf!”
  • Rap → Wrap: As in “That was an epic wrap battle.” (Playing on the flat-bread sandwich alternative)
  • Rapper → Wrapper: “She hit it big and is now a world famous wrapper.”
  • Do not → Donut: As in “I donut want to get into a pun battle with you.” and “Donut tempt me.”
  • Bit of (Bit ‘a) → Pita: “Don’t make a blind pita difference.”
  • Why → Rye: “Rye do you ask?” and “Rye do bread puns make me giggle?” and “Rye hast thou forsaken me?” and “Rye are you doing this to me?”
  • Wry → Rye: “A rye smile.” and “With rye Scottish wit.” (Rye is a type of grain used to make bread)
  • Rye: Words that contain the “rye” sound can be made into terribly silly bread puns: alryete, bryete, Bryean (Bryan), circumscryebed, compryesed, contryeved, copyryete, cryesis, cryeterion, cryeme, dryevers, descryebe, enterpryese, depryeved, fryeday, fryed, fryetened, pryeceless, pryemarily, pryevacy, pryeority, pryez, ryenocerous, ryeteous, ryetfully, ryevalries, samurye, subscryebed, surpryesingly, tryeangle, ryeting, tryeumph, rye-fle.
  • Riled up→ Rye-led up: As in “Jeez, calm down. No need to get rye-led up!”
  • Least→ Yeast: As in “Last, but not yeast.” and “Yeast common denominator.” and “It’s the yeast I could do.”
  • East→ Yeast: As in “I’m heading over yeast for a holiday.”
  • Need → Knead: As in “Only on a knead-to-know basis.” and “A friend in knead is a friend indeed.” and “You knead your head examined.”
  • Needy → Kneady: As in “He’s a bit kneady.”
  • Kneed → Knead: As in “He was knead in the chest during his rugby match.”
  • Get → Baguette: As in “Buy one, baguette one free.” and “I think I can baguette away with it.” and “Baguette cracking!” and “I’m trying to baguette into the habit of it.” and “Baguette out of my hair!”
  • Forget → Baguette: As in “Ahh, baguette it – you wouldn’t understand.” and “Lest we baguette.” and “Don’t baguette your towel!”
  • Toast: Can refer to the raising of glasses at a gathering to honour something: “Let’s call a toast.” It also has a slang usage: “You are toast.” Meaning “I’m going to beat you” at some competition (or physically).
  • *oast*→ *toast*: If a word contains the “toast” sound, a toast pun can sometimes be made: toastcard (postcard), toastess (hostess), toastline (coastline), toastdoctoral (postdoctoral), toastmortem (postmortem), toastmodern (postmodern), toastpone (postpone), Toastbusters.
  • Come → Crumb: As in “Crumb to think of it…” and “Crumb to your senses” and “Crumb again?” and “Crumb hell or high water.” and “Crumb out of your shell” and “Crumb rain or shine” and “Do you crumb here often?” and “An idea whose time has crumb.” and “The best is yet to crumb.” and “What has crumb over you?” and “Oh crumb on.”
  • Ban me → Bánh mì: The term “bánh mì” refers to any kind of Vietnamese bread. Examples: “What are you going to do? Bánh mì from making bread puns?”
  • Trust → Crust: As in “Crust me, I’m a doctor.” and “That was a breach of crust.” and “He’s a crustworthy young man.”
  • Christ → Crust: As in “Crust has fallen, crust has risen.” and “Crust is a main figurehead in western mythology.”
  • Crusty: This term can refer to someone (especially an older person) who is bad-tempered.
  • Rusty → Crusty: As in “My punning skills are a little crusty, sorry.”
  • Just → Crust: As in “It’s crust not my day today.” and “It’s crust around the corner.” and “Crust add water.” and “It’s crust a matter of time.”
  • Cust* → Crust*: If a word begins with “cust”, swap it with “crust”: crustodian, crustomer, crustom, crustomary, crustody, crustard, crustodial, crustomise, crustomarily.
  • *ust* → *crust*: If a word has the “ust”, it can sometimes be made into a crust pun: crustice (justice), crustification (justification), crustachioed (mustachioed), crustainable (sustainable), crustainability (sustainability).
  • Leaving → Leaven: “Leaven” is another term for “rising agent”: the ingredient added to make bread rise (usually yeast). Examples: “You’re leaven me here all by myself?” and “Oh, you’re leaven so early?!”
  • Rise: This is a reference to bread “rising” during the yeast fermentation process Examples: “More bread puns? I will rise to that challenge.” and “Rise from the ashes.” and “Rise and shine.” and “The sun has risen.”
  • Wasting time → Loafing around: As in “Stop loafing around and do something useful!”
  • Grainy: Other than referring to grain (the crop food, of course), this can refer to a texture or to a low resolution photograph: “Your profile picture is a bit grainy.”
  • Hot cross buns → Hot cross puns: This one’s a sort of “meta” bread pun.
  • Crumby: This is slang for “dirty”, “poor quality” and related concepts.
  • Money → Dough: The term “dough” is slang for money in some places.
  • *do*→ *dough*: Any word which contains the “dough” sound (or similar) can be made into an easy dough pun: abdoughmen (abdomen), Adoughbe (Adobe), adoughlescence, aficionadoughs, anecdoughtal, antidoughte, avacadough, bulldoughzer, commandough, condoughlences, crescendough (crescendo), doughmain, doughnation, doughnor, doughsage, doughze, Indoughnesian, innuendough, landoughners, Macedoughnian, overshadough, meadough, Orlandough, pseudough, shadough, taekwondough, tornadough, windough, widough, tuxedough.
  • Do→ Dough: As in “I dough what I can.” and “What are you doughing right now?”
  • Ingrained: As in “It was ingrained in me from a young age.”
  • *bun*: Words that contain the “bun” sound, or a similar sound can be made into a bread bun pun: absorbunt, abundance, abundantly, bunal (banal), bunality, bunevolence, bunignly, bunocular, bunanza, bourbun, bunch, bundle, bunny, bunting, bunyan, cabunets, combunation, cubun, disturbunce, husbund, incumbunts, Lebunon, Robunson, urbun, urbunization.
  • Pun → Bun: As in “No bun intended.”
  • *pun* → *bun*: Some words containing the “pun” sound can be made into terrible bread puns: particibunts (participants), perbundicular (perpendicular), Jabunese, occubunts (occupants), combunsation, bundits, bunishment, weabunry, sbunge (sponge).
  • Spread: As in “Spread your wings.” and “It spread like wildfire.” and “Stop spreading rumours.”
  • Slice: As in “It’s a lie no matter how you slice it.” and “Slice of the action”
  • Awry → A rye: As in “Many youthful romances go a rye” and “I got the impression that something was a rye.”
  • Inbred → Inbread: As in “Inbread dogs are more likely to be unhealthy.”
  • Loafers: As in “My new pair of loafers are so cosy!”
  • Bed → Bread: As in “Bread and breakfast” and “Don’t let the bread bugs bite!”
  • Self-loathing → Self-loaving: As in “Excessive punning can lead to self-loaving.”
  • Hybrid → High bread: As in “I’m going to buy a high bread because it’s cheaper and more environmentally friendly.”
  • Jam: As in “My sandwich is jam-packed.” and “All seven of us were jammed into the same car.”
  • PunpernickelPumpernickel is a type of bread.
  • Patriarchy → Pastryarchy: As in “Down with the pastryarchy!” and “We live in a pastryarchy.”
  • Pain: France is famous for its breads and “pain” means “bread” in French, so this is an easy, but subtle pun.
  • Better → Butter: As in “Butter safe than sorry.” and “The sooner the butter.”
  • Better → Breader: As in “Breader off dead.” and “The sooner the breader.”
  • Sentences → Sandwiches: As in “It’s crazy! We always finish each others sandwiches.” (Made somewhat possible as a pun by the Disney movie “Frozen”)
  • Mild → Mould/Mold: As in “I had a mold distrust of this man.” and “I’m moldly annoyed.”
  • Old → Mould/Mold: As in “Out with the mold and in with the new.” and “Up to your mold tricks I see.” and “The good mold days.”
  • Call her → Challah: This is a special type of Jewish ceremonial bread that is pronounced like “ka-la”. Example: “You should challah tonight when she finishes work.”
  • All of → Challah: As in “Challah these bread puns are cracking me up!”
  • Glue ten → Gluten: As in “If we gluten of these together we’ll have a nice chain of them.”
  • Even → Oven: As in “I don’t care about profit, I’ll be happy if we break oven.” and “Keep an oven keel.” and “I’m going to get oven with him.”
  • Often → Oven: As in “Do you come here oven?” and “Every so oven.”
  • Glaze: As in “The prospect makes my eyes glaze over with boredom.”
  • Graze → Glaze: As in “It just glazed the surface.” and “I’ll be fine, it’s just a glaze.”
  • Barely → Barley: As in “I’m barley getting by.”
  • Waffle: As in “He just kept waffling on and on.”
  • Nothin’ → Muffin: As in “All or muffin.” and “Here goes muffin!” and “I will stop at muffin to …” and “You ain’t seen muffin yet.” and “We’ve got muffin in common.”
  • Make → Bake: As in “I can’t bake head or tail of it.” and “Enough to bake you sick.” and “Bake believe” and “It’ll bake a world of difference.” and “Just trying to bake ends meet.” and “Bake a name for yourself.”
  • Making → Baking: As in “A legend in the bakin’” and “This is history in the baking” and “You’re baking a fool of yourself.”
  • Floor → Flour: As in “A bread pun battle? I’ll mop the flour with you.”
  • Crap → Crepe: As in “I don’t give a crepe.” and “What a load of crepe.” and “Cut the crepe.”
  • Creepy → Crepe-y: As in “This music is crepe-y
  • Crack a → Cracker: As in “These baking puns made me cracker smile.”
  • Pan → Pen: “Pan” means bread in Japanese and Spanish. Examples: “The pan is mightier than the sword.” and “Put pan to paper.”
  • Brought → Brot: “Pan” means bread in Japanese. Examples: “I brot you into this world.” and “It was later brot to light that …”
  • Penny → Pane: “Pane” (pronounced “pahn-eh”) means bread in Italian. Examples: “Pane for your thoughts” and “It cost me a pretty pane.”
  • Flower → Flour: As in “Remember to stop and smell the flours.”
  • Adore → Adough: “I adough you.”
  • Don’t → Doughn’t: As in “Doughn’t fall for it.”
  • Though → Dough: As in “You look as dough you’ve seen a ghost!”
  • Hour → Flour: As in “We could go on for flours.” and “The plane leaves in one flour.” and “I’m on a flourly wage.”
  • Maze → Maize: As in “It’s a complicated maize to navigate.”
  • Again → A grain: As in “Come a grain?” and “Never a grain.” and “Time and time a grain.” and “Now and a grain.”
  • Sour though → Sourdough: As in “The look he gave me was very sourdough.”
  • Puffy: As in “His eyes were puffy and full of tears.”
  • Red → Bread: As in “Walking down the bread carpet.” and “That was a bread herring.”
  • Ready → Bready: As in “Bready, get set, go!” and “Bready to roll.” and “Battle bready.” and “Get bready to rumble!” and “I was born bready.”
  • Readily → Breadily: As in “The island is breadily accessible by canoe.” and “I’ll breadily admit that I was wrong in that decision.”
  • Redhead → Breadhead: As in “Many of the greatest Scottish warriors were Breadheads.”
  • Head → Bread: As in “All the fame has gone to his bread.” and “You need to have your bread examined.” and “From bread to toe.” and “Keep your bread above water.” and “That went straight over my bread.” and “They both went bread to bread.” and “I couldn’t make bread or tail of it.”
  • Crumble: As in “Kingdoms will crumble.” and “The crumbling ruins.”
  • Rumble/Grumble → Crumble: As in “They hear the crumbling of the thunder. ” and “Talking about bread is making my stomach crumble.”
  • Its / It’s → Oats / Oat’s: As in “Oat’s just a matter of time.” and “Oat’s a shame.” and “Oat’s nothing personal” and “Oat’s worth oats weight in gold.” and “Takes oats toll.” and “A life of oats own.”
  • Ought → Oat: As in “You oat to say sorry.” and “Five minutes oat to be enough time.”
  • Sub: As in “That joke was sub-par.” and “It wasn’t terrible, just sub-optimal.”
  • Sub*: Words that start with “sub” (referencing the type of sandwich) are easy bread puns: sublime, submissive, subdivision, subcommittee, subconscious, subcontinent, subdue, subgroup, subjected, subject, subjectivity, submersible, submit, subscriber, subscription, subsequent, subliminal, subordinated, subsection, submarine, substance, substitution, subtract, subvert, suburbia, suburb, subtitles, subtraction, substrate, subsidy.
  • *sub*: If a word contains the “sub” sound, there could be a very forced bread pun opportunity: accessubility, admissuble, incomprehesuble, disubility, flexsubility, irresponsubility, possubility, enforsuble, taxsuble, unsubstantiated.
  • Stale: As in “All these bread memes are stale.”
  • Pun per nickel → Pumpernickel: As in “I could tell you more bread puns but it’ll be one punpernickel.”
  • Whole meal → Wholemeal: As in “Bread is great, but you should eat it with other foods, not as a wholemeal in itself.”
  • Homemade: Homemade bread may be impressed into people’s mind strong enough to make a subtle use of “homemade” a bread pun.
  • Half-baked: This means “not completely planned or thought out”. For example: “Half-baked bread puns ought to be illegal.”
  • Rusty → Rusky: This refers to a hard “twice-baked” bread. Examples: “My bread pun skills are a little rusky.”
  • Pow → Pau: This is a type of Chinese steamed bun with filling. Words containing the “pow” sound can be simple pau puns: pauerpuff girls, pauerless, pauerful, pauder, pauerhouse, pauer, pauerboat.
  • Seedy: This is a describing word for someone or something that is morally questionable, fowl, or dirty. Examples: “So many seedy people hanging around that place.”
  • Raise: As in “I’ve been working at the bakery for two years now and havn’t recieved a raise.” and “Raise the dead.”
  • Peace of mind → Pizza mind: Pizza puns can sometimes classify as bread puns, but it depends on the specific context.
  • Pit us → Pitas: As in “He’s trying to pitas against each other.”
  • Way back → Zweiback: This is a type of hard twice-baked bread. Its main pronunciation sounds like “swee-back” or “zwee-back” which sounds a bit like “way back”. Example: “Zweiback in the day, puns were cheap.”

Bread-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to bread can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the bread themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • loaf about
  • bread winner
  • it’s my bread and butter
  • born and bred
  • break bread
  • butter face
  • butter fingers
  • cake walk
  • cast bread upon the waters
  • crumb of comfort
  • knuckle sandwich
  • piece of cake
  • takes the cake
  • as flat as a pancake
  • as nutty as a fruit cake
  • the cherry on the cake
  • you can’t have your cake and eat it too
  • bread always falls buttered side down
  • put bread on the table
  • the best thing since sliced bread
  • you are toast
  • the toast of the town
  • one slice short of a loaf
  • take it with a grain of salt
  • go gainst the grain
  • hasn’t a grain of sense
  • she/he knows what side his bread is buttered on
  • that’s the way the cookie crumbles
  • drive for show and putt for dough
  • she’s/he’s on a roll
  • melt like butter
  • raking in the dough
  • separate the wheat from the chaff
  • rock and roll
  • a few sandwiches short of a picnic
  • upper crust
  • a baker’s dozen
  • against the grain

Bread-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of bread-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

stale, bake, baked, toasted, unleavened, leaven, crusty, French, moldy, wholemeal, multigrain, homemade, whole-wheat, wheat, grain, barley, rye, naan, sub, crumble, oat, bread, puffy, maize, flour, dough, baking, muffin, waffle, glaze, challah, gluten-free, brot, roti, butter, spread, jam, sandwich, pastry, pumpernickel, slice, bun, loaf, hot-cross buns, crust, bánh mì toast, baguette, knead, yeast, pita, donut, scone, roll, ciabatta, sourdough, crepe, glaze, white, brown, rusk, toaster, breadbasket, matzo, corn bread, pone, wafer, bagel, tortilla, manchet, French toast, challah, zwieback, brioche, chapati, fruitbread, ramekin, pizza, pita, focaccia, bannock, raise, rise, rising, soggy, crumpet, crummy, soda bread, pretzel, cake, slice, bread bin, chapatti, bakehouse, paste, breadcrumbs, fairy bread, bread knife, sub, submarine sandwich, burrito, margarine, yeast extract, cereal, flatbread, crouton, breadstick, durum, bread machine, leavening agent, crispbread, bran, starch, quinoa, pumpkin bread.

Bread Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny bread jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style bread jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to bread.

  • What did the baker say to his assistant after he caught him stealing money from the till? – That was a breach of crust.
  • What did the Indian chef say to the nosey employee? – It’s naan of your business!
  • Why doesn’t bread like warm weather? – Things get toasty!
  • Why aren’t bread jokes funny? – Because they always get mould.
  • What did the baker get for her mother on Mother’s Day? – Flours
  • What is a baker’s favourite Beatles song? – “Loaf is all you need”
  • When does sourdough bread rise? – When you yeast expect it.
  • What did the butter say to the bread? – I’m on a roll!
  • Why does everyone need bread and water? – Loaf makes the world go round.
  • What did one slice of bread say to the other slice of bread when he saw some butter and jam on the table? – We’re toast!
  • Why was the baker in a panic? – He was in a loaf or death situation.
  • What did the baker say to the lazy assistant? – Stop loafing around and get over here!
  • What did the baker’s assistant say to her partner after her first day on the job?  – It’s a crumb-y place to work.
  • How was the bakers assistant paid? – On a flourly wage.
  • What type of car did the baker buy? – A high bread car
  • Where did the baker get her baking skills? – They were in grained in her from a young age.

Bread Pun Images

Below is a collection of bread-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual bread puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the bread-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny bread pun images? Or perhaps you just want more bread puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any bread puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂