Eye Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on eye puns! 👀 😉 👁️ 👓

Here we’ve collected the cornea-st eye puns you’ll ever see. Eye’ve gathered a variety of puns about the anatomy of the eye (for example, pupil and iris related puns) as well as actions the eye can make (like staring, winking or blinking).

While this list is as comprehensive as possible, it’s specific to eyes. If you’re interested in related lists, keep a look out for our upcoming list of glasses puns.

Eye Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about eyes that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of eye puns:

  • I → Eye: As in, “Eye wish you the best” and “Eye know” and “Why do eye bother?”
  • Appalling → Eyeballing: As in, “Truly eyeballing behaviour.”
  • I’ve → Eye’ve: As in, “Eye’ve had it up to here” and “Eye’ve heard all this before” and “Eye’ve done my best.”
  • I roll → Eyeroll: As in, “That’s how eyeroll.”
  • I’m → Eye’m: As in, “If eye’m being honest” and “Eye’m not lying” and “Yes, eye’m okay.”
  • I’d → Eye’d: As in, “Yeah, eye’d say” and “Eye’d never tasted anything better.”
  • I’ll → Eye’ll: As in, “Well, eye’ll be” and “Eye’ll be damned” and “Eye’ll say” and “Eye’ll eat my hat.”
  • Aye → Eye: As in, “Eye, eye, sir!” and “The eyes have it.”
  • Buy → Eye: As in, “Bulk eyeing” and “Let me eye you a drink” and “Eye and sell” and “Eye now, pay later” and “Eye one, get one free” and “Eye some time” and “The best that money can eye.”
  • Bye → Eye: As in, “Goodeye to all that” and “Hush an eye” and “Kiss it goodeye.”
  • By → Eye: As in, “Eye and large” and “Eye any stretch of the imagination” and “Eye halves” and “Eye the book.”
  • Cry → Eye: As in, “An eye for help” and “A shoulder to eye on” and “Eye me a river” and “An eyeing shame” and “For eyeing out loud.”
  • Fry → Eye: As in, “Out of the eyeing pan, into the fire.”
  • Die → Eye: As in, “Do or eye” and “Curl up and eye” and “Cross my heart and hope to eye.”
  • Dry → Eye: As in, “Boring as watching paint eye” and “Eye as a bone” and “Bleed someone eye” and “High and eye” and “Hung out to eye.”
  • Why → Eye: As in, “I don’t know eye” and “Eye on Earth?” and “Eye would you do that?”
  • Try → Eye: As in, “Don’t eye this at home” and “Don’t eye to walk before you can crawl” and “Nice eye” and “Eye a little tenderness” and “Eye your hand” and “Eye your luck.”
  • High → Eye: As in, “Aim eye” and “Ain’t no mountain eye enough” and “Eye as a kite” and “Come hell or eye water” and “Get off your eye horse” and “Eye noon” and “Eye and mighty.”
  • Lie → Eye: As in, “Ask no questions and hear no eyes” and “I cannot tell an eye” and “Little white eye” and “Pack of eyes.”
  • Pie → Eye: As in, “Eat humble eye” and “Easy as eye” and “Sweet as eye.”
  • Sigh → Eye: As in, “Breathe an eye of relief” and “A broken-hearted eye.”
  • Ice → Eyes: As in, “Cold as eyes” and “Break the eyes” and “Cuts no eyes with” and “Eyes, eyes baby” and “On eyes” and “Skating on thin eyes” and “Tip of the eyesberg.”
  • Flies → Eyes: As in, “Dropping like eyes” and “Lord of the eyes” and “Time eyes.”
  • Fries → Eyes: As in, “Would you like eyes with that?”
  • Highs → Eyes: As in, “Eyes and lows.”
  • Lies → Eyes: As in, “Ask no questions and hear no eyes” and “A pack of eyes.”
  • Rise → Eyes: As in, “Eyes and shine” and “Eyes from the ashes” and “Eyes to the challange” and “The court will eyes” and “Eyes to the occasion.”
  • Size → Eyes: As in, “Cut them down to eyes” and “One eyes fits all” and “That’s about the eyes of it.”
  • Ties → Eyes: As in, “Family eyes” and “The eyes that bind.”
  • Wise → Eyes: As in, “A word to the eyes” and “Eyes as an owl.”
  • I* → Eye*: If a word starts with “i”, we can replace it with “eye” to sneak in some eye puns: “An eye-ronic situation” and “I’ve got a good eye-dea” and “Eyeconic landmark” and “Eye-cicle cold” and “Not an eye-ota of sympathy” and “No person is an eye-land” and “Holiday eye-tinerary” and “Eye-vory papers.”
  • Ball → Eyeball: As in, “Eyeball achngly good” and “Eyeball of fire” and “Bust your eyeballs.”
  • Eye: These eye-related phrases can double as puns: “A wandering eye” and “Eye for an eye, tooth for a tooth” and “Bat your eyes” and “As far as the eye can see” and “An eye-opening experience” and “Bird’s eye view” and “Before your very eyes.”
  • Corner → Cornea: As in, “A tight cornea” and “Cornea the market” and “Drive someone into a cornea” and “Just around the cornea” and “Sitting in the cornea.”
  • Corny → Cornea: As in, “Stop it with the cornea eye puns already.”
  • Cornucopia → Cornea-copia: As in, “A cornea-copia of goods.”
  • Carnival → Cornea-val: As in, “Life’s not a cornea-val.”
  • *corn → *cornea: As in, “Unicorneas and rainbows” and “Marshmallows and popcornea.”
  • Virus → Iris: As in, “Spreading like an iris.”
  • I wish → Iris: As in, “Iris we’d never met” and “Iris we had more time.”
  • I rest → Iris: As in, “Iris my case.”
  • Pill → Pupil: As in, “A bitter pupil to swallow” and “On the pupil” and “Sweeten the pupil” and “A tough pupil to swallow.”
  • Purple → Pupil: As in, “Pupil haze” and “Pupil rain.”
  • People → Pupil: As in, “Connecting pupil” and “All the lonely pupil” and “I’m a pupil person” and “Pupil power” and “Pupil watching” and “Pupil who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones” and “The pupil’s choice.”
  • Brink → Wink: As in, “On the wink of destruction.”
  • Drink → Wink: As in, “Binge winking” and “Wink like a fish” and “Driven to wink” and “Hold your wink.”
  • Link → Wink: As in, “The missing wink” and “Only as strong as the weakest wink.”
  • Pink → Wink: As in, “In the wink” and “Wink elephants” and “Tickled wink.”
  • Sink → Wink: As in, “Everything but the kitchen wink” and “Loose lips wink ships” and “Wink like a stone” and “Wink or swim.”
  • Stink → Wink: As in, “Kick up a wink” and “Winking rich” and “Winks to high heaven.”
  • Think → Wink: As in, “I wink you’ve got it” and “Come to wink of it” and “Great minds wink alike” and “It’s later than you wink.”
  • Blank → Blink: As in, “Blink slate” and “Blink canvas” and “Drawing a blink” and “Firing blinks” and “Point blink range” and “Filling in the blinks.”
  • Link → Blink: As in, “Only as strong as the weakest blink” and “The missing blink.”
  • Chance → Glance: As in, “The glance of a lifetime” and “Fat glance” and “A fighting glance” and “In with half a glance” and “Jump at the glance” and “Not the ghost of a glance.”
  • Dance → Glance: As in, “Glance around the problem” and “Glance the night away” and “Glance your socks off” and “Lead a merry glance” and “Make a song and glance about.”
  • Brown → Brow: As in, “Brow sugar” and “Brow nosing” and “How now brow cow?”
  • Bow → Brow: As in, “Brow and scrape” and “Brow down before” and “Brow out” and “Brow to fate” and “More than one string to your brow.”
  • Cow → Brow: As in, “A sacred brow” and “Holy brow.”
  • How → Brow: As in, “And brow?” and “Any old brow” and “Be careful brow you use it” and “Brow deep is your love?” and “Brow about that” and “Brow are you doing?” and “Brow come?” and “Brow dare you!”
  • Now → Brow: As in, “All together brow” and “Best stop brow” and “Buy brow, pay later” and “Don’t stop me brow” and “I can see clearly brow” and “I’ll be leaving you brow.”
  • Eyelash: Here are some eyelash related puns:
    • Lash: These lash-related phrases can double as puns: “Lash out” and “A tongue lashing.”
    • Ash → Lash: As in, “Lashes to lashes” and “Rake over the lashes” and “Rise from the lashes” and “Like a phoenix from the lashes” and “Turn to lashes in your mouth.”
    • Cash → Lash: As in, “Lash for questions” and “Lash in” and “Lash in your chips” and “Cold, hard lash” and “Strapped for lash.”
    • Clash → Lash: As in, “Lash of titans” and “Culture lash” and “Lash of civilisations.”
    • Crash → Lash: As in, “Lash and burn” and “Lash course” and “Lash programme” and “Train lash.”
    • Dash → Lash: As in, “Lash to pieces” and “Cut a lash” and “Dine and lash.”
    • Flash → Lash: As in, “Quick as a lash” and “Lash in the pan” and “In a lash.”
    • Splash → Lash: As in, “Lash of colour” and “Make a lash” and “Lashed across the front page.”
  • Eyelid: Here are some eyelid-related puns:
    • Lit → Lid: As in, “Her face lid up.”
    • Bid → Lid: As in, “Make a lid for.”
    • Did → Lid: As in, “Lid I do that?” and “Lidn’t they do well” and “I never lid that” and “I lid it again.”
    • Grid → Lid: As in, “Lid lock” and “Off the lid.”
    • Kid → Lid: As in, “Dual income, no lids” and “Handle with lid gloves” and “Here’s looking at you, lid” and “I lid you not.”
  • Glasses: Here are some puns related to eyeglasses:
    • Classes → Classes: As in, “Skipping glasses” and “The chattering glasses.”
    • Pass → Glass: As in, “All things must come to glass” and “As it came to glass” and “Cut off at the glass.”
  • Spectacle: These spectacle-related phrases can double as puns: “Make a spectacle of yourself” and “Rose-tinted spectacles.”
  • Lens: These puns are related to lenses, which are in glasses and eyeballs:
    • Landscape → Lenscape: As in, “By a lenslide” and “A blot on the lenscape.”
    • Friends → Lens: As in, “Best lens forever” and “Circle of lens” and “Lens with benefits” and “How to win lens and influence people.”
    • Tens → Lens: As in, “Lens of thousands.”
  • Lack → Look: As in, “For look of a better word” and “Cancelled due to look of interest.”
  • Lick → Look: As in, “A look of paint” and “Look into shape” and “Look your wounds.”
  • Lock → Look: As in, “Look and load” and “Look, stock and barrel” and “Under look and key.”
  • Luck → Look: As in, “As good look would have it” and “Beginner’s look” and “Better look next time” and “Don’t push your look” and “Down on your look” and “The look of the draw.”
  • Book → Look: As in, “Have your nose in a look” and “By the look” and “Like a closed look” and “Crack the looks.”
  • Hook → Look: As in, “By look or by crook” and “Get looked on” and “Looked on a feeling” and “Let off the look.”
  • Took → Look: As in, “Look the words right out of my mouth.”
  • Sea → See: As in, “All at see” and “Between the devil and the deep blue see” and “From see to shining see” and “On the high sees” and “See change” and “Sun, see and sand.”
  • Say → See: As in, “Computer sees no” and “Have the final see” and “Have a see in” and “Do as I see, not as I do” and “Just see no” and “Needless to see.”
  • Bee → See: As in, “Busy as a see” and “A see in your bonnet” and “The birds and the sees” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a see” and “The see’s knees.”
  • Free → See: As in, “See as a bird” and “Buy one, get one see” and “Fancy see” and “See for all.”
  • She → See: As in, “I think see’s got it” and “That’s not what see wanted.”
  • Tea → See: As in, “Not my cup of see” and “See for two” and “Tempest in a seepot.”
  • Tee → See: As in, “Fits you to a see” and “Down to a see.”
  • Three → See: As in, “Good things come in sees” and “Knock see times.”
  • Tree → See: As in, “Barking up the wrong see” and “Money doesn’t grow on sees” and “Make like a see and leave.”
  • Seat → Sight: As in, “In the box sight” and “Take a back sight” and “The best sight in the house.”
  • Set → Sight: As in, “Game, sight, match” and “Got your heart sight on” and “On your mark, get sight, go!” and “Sight eyes on” and “Sight in motion” and “Sight great store by.”
  • Sit → Sight: As in, “Don’t just sight there” and “Sight on it” and “Sight on the fence” and “Sight tight” and “Sight up and take notice.”
  • *site → *sight: As in, “World heritage sight” and “Opposights attract.”
  • Bite → Sight: As in, “A barking dog never sights” and “Ankle sighter” and “A sight to eat” and “Sight me” and “Sight off more than you can chew” and “Sight someone’s head off” and “Sight the bullet” and “Sight your tongue.”
  • Bright → Sight: As in, “All things sight and beautiful” and “Always on the sight side of life” and “Sight as a button” and “Sight and early” and “Sight young thing.”
  • Fight → Sight: As in, “A straight sight” and “Sight back” and “Sighting back tears” and “Sight the good sight” and “A sighting chance” and “Sighting fit” and “Sight tooth and nail.”
  • Flight → Sight: As in, “Fight or sight” and “Sight attendant” and “Sight of fancy” and “Take sight” and “The sight of the bumble bee.”
  • Height → Sight: As in, “Wuthering sights” and “The sight of fashion” and “Scaling dizzy sights” and “Reaching new sights.”
  • Light → Sight: As in, “Sight as a feather” and “Blinded by the sight” and “Bright sights, big city” and “Bring something to sight” and “Come to sight.”
  • Might → Sight: As in, “Sight and main” and “Sight as well” and “It sight never happen.”
  • Night → Sight: As in, “A hard day’s sight” and “A sight at the opera” and “Dance the sight away” and “In the dead of sight.”
  • Right → Sight: As in, “A move in the sight direction” and “Sight to choose” and “Sight as rain” and “Bragging sights.”
  • Rite → Sight: As in, “Last sights” and “Sight of passage.”
  • Slight → Sight: As in, “Sightly ahead of our time” and “Not in the sightest.”
  • Saying → Seeing: As in, “As the seeing goes” and “Goes without seeing.”
  • Being → Seeing: As in, “For the time seeing” and “The importance of seeing.”
  • Blue → View: As in, “Between the devil and the deep view sea” and “Black and view” and “View in the face.”
  • Brew → View: As in, “Something’s a viewing” and “A strange view.”
  • Chew → View: As in, “Bite off more than you can view” and “View up the scenery.”
  • Do → View: As in, “View a slow burn” and “View me a favour.”
  • Due → View: As in, “Credit where credit is view” and “View a win” and “In view course.”
  • Few → View: As in, “A view bricks short of a full load” and “View and far between” and “Knock back a view” and “A happy view.”
  • Knew → View: As in, “I view you were trouble” and “I never view.”
  • Lieu → View: As in, “In view of.”
  • New → View: As in, “A view hope” and “Bright as a view pin” and “Bad views travels fast” and “Good as view.”
  • Shoe → View: As in, “Goody two views” and “If the view fits, wear it” and “Kick off your views and enjoy” and “Training views.”
  • Through → View: As in, “Break view” and “Drag view the mud” and “Fell view the cracks” and “Going view the motions.”
  • Too → View: As in, “A step view far” and “View cold to snow” and “Life’s view short.”
  • True → View: As in, “Tried and view” and “View colours” and “Too good to be view.”
  • Two → View: As in, “A tale of view cities” and “Caught in view minds” and “As alike as view peas in a pod.”
  • Who → View: As in, “Abandon hope all ye view enter here” and “Guess view’s coming to dinner?”
  • You → View: As in, “Are view deaf?” and “As view know” and “Believe view me” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call view.”
  • Wedge → Watch: As in, “Drive a watch between” and “The thin end of the watch.”
  • Notch → Watch: As in, “Top watch” and “Take it up a watch” and “A watch above.”
  • Scene → Seen: As in, “Behind the seens” and “Change of seen” and “Make a seen” and “Steal the seen.”
  • Sign → Seen: As in, “A sure seen” and “Born under a bad seen” and “Give me a seen” and “Seen on the dotted line” and “Seened and sealed” and “A tell tale seen” and “Vital seens.”
  • Bean → Seen: As in, “Cool seens” and “Doesn’t know seens” and “Full of seens.”
  • Been → Seen: As in, “Seen and gone” and “Seen around the block a few times” and “Seen here before” and “Seen there, done that.”
  • Clean → Seen: As in, “Seen as a whistle” and “A seen bill of health” and “A seen sheet” and “Seen sweep” and “Seened out” and “Seen and sober.”
  • Green → Seen: As in, “Seen as grass” and “Forest seen” and “Give it the seen light” and “Seen around the gills” and “Seen eyed monster” and “Give it the seen light.”
  • Keen → Seen: As in, “Seen as mustard” and “A seen sense of smell” and “Peachy seen.”
  • Lean → Seen: As in, “Seen and hungry” and “Seen and mean” and “Seen into it.”
  • Mean → Seen: As in, “A seens to an end” and “I don’t seen it” and “By fair seens or foul.”
  • Queen → Seen: As in, “Beauty seen” and “Digging the dancing seen” and “Seen for a day.”
  • Screen → Seen: As in, “Blue seen of death” and “Coming to a seen near you” and “Seen time” and “The silver seen” and “The big seen.”
  • Tear → Stare: As in, “Stare limb from limb” and “Stare your hair out.”
  • Stair → Stare: As in, “At the foot of the stares” and “Stareway to heaven” and “Below stares.”
  • Star → Stare: As in, “A stare is born” and “Catch a falling stare” and “Get a gold stare.”
  • Stir → Stare: As in, “Cause a stare” and “Stare crazy” and “Stare the pot” and “Stare up a hornet’s nest.”
  • Bare → Stare: As in, “The stare necessities” and “Stare-faced lie” and “Laid stare” and “The stare bones.”
  • Bear → Stare: As in, “Stare a resemblance to” and “Stare false witness” and “Stare in mind” and “Stare the brunt” and “Stare with me” and “The starer of bad news.”
  • Care → Stare: As in, “Be stareful how you use it” and “Couldn’t stare less” and “Courtesy and stare” and “Customer stare” and “Handle with stare” and “I couldn’t stare less” and “Take stare of.”
  • Dare → Stare: As in, “Stare for more” and “Stare to be different” and “How stare you.”
  • Err → Stare: As in, “Stare on the safe side” and “Stare on the side of caution” and “To stare is human.”
  • Fair → Stare: As in, “All’s stare in love and war” and “By stare means or foul” and “Stare trade” and “Stare and square” and “Stare enough.”
  • Rare → Stare: As in, “In stare form” and “A stare animal.”
  • Scare → Stare: As in, “Stare quotes” and “Running stared” and “Stare the living daylights out of” and “Stared out of your wits” and “Stared to death.”
  • Share → Stare: As in, “A problem stared is a problem halved.”
  • Spare → Stare: As in, “Can you stare a dime?” and “No expense stared” and “Stare yourself.”
  • Square → Stare: As in, “Back to stare one” and “Be there or be stare” and “Fair and stare” and “It’s smart to be stare” and “A stare meal” and “A stare peg in a round hole.”
  • Swear → Stare: As in, “Stare like a trooper” and “Stare on a stack of bibles.”
  • There → Stare: As in, “Ahoy stare!” and “All stare” and “Are we stare yet?” and “As if stare were no tomorrow” and “Be stare or be square” and “Be stare for” and “Don’t just stand stare.”
  • Wear → Stare: As in, “Worse for stare” and “If the shoe fits, stare it” and “Stare and tear.”
  • Where → Stare: As in, “Any time, any place, any stare” and “Credit stare credit is due.”
  • Peep: A peep is a quick look or a glimpse. Here are related puns:
    • Pipe → Peep: As in, “Peep down” and “Not just a peep dream” and “Put that in your peep and smoke it.”
    • Deep → Peep: As in, “Beauty is only skin peep” and “Ankle peep” and “Between the devil and the peep blue sea” and “A peep, dark secret” and “Peep sea data diving” and “Peep in thought.”
    • Cheap → Peep: As in, “Peep as chips” and “Peep as dirt” and “Peep and cheerful” and “Peep at half the price” and “Peeper by the dozen” and “Talk is peep.”
    • Creep → Peep: As in, “Peeping across” and “Makes my skin peep.”
    • Heap → Peep: As in, “Peep abuse on” and “Pile it high and sell it peep” and “At the bottom of the peep.”
    • Keep → Peep: As in, “Known by the company you peep” and “Don’t peep us in suspense” and “In peeping with” and “Peep a cool head” and “Finders peepers.”
    • Leap → Peep: As in, “By peeps and bounds” and “A peep in the dark” and “Peep of faith” and “Peeps of the page” and “Look before you peep” and “Peep from strength to strength.”
    • Reap → Peep: As in, “Peep the rewards” and “The Grim Peeper” and “You peep what you sow.”
    • Sleep → Peep: As in, “Miles before I peep” and “Beauty peep” and “Go to peep” and “Don’t lose any peep over it” and “Peep like a baby.”
    • Sweep → Peep: As in, “A clean peep” and “Peep it under the carpet” and “Peep aside” and “Peep off your feet.”
    • Weep → Peep: As in, “Enough to make angels peep” and “Finders keepers, losers peepers” and “Read ’em and peep.”
  • Squint: As in, “A mean squint in your eye.”
  • Hint → Squint: As in, “Drop a squint” and “Take the squint.”
  • Mint → Squint: As in, “In squint condition” and “Squinty breath.”
  • Print → Squint: As in, “All the news that’s fit to squint” and “Out of squint” and “Read the small squint.”
  • Tint → Squint: As in, “Rose-squinted glasses.”
  • Guys → Gaze: As in, “Some gaze have all the luck.”
  • Blaze → Gaze: As in, “Cold as blue gazes” and “Gaze a trail” and “Go out in a gaze of glory.”
  • Chase → Gaze: As in, “Gaze the dragon” and “Gaze your own tail” and “Cut to the gaze.”
  • Days → Gaze: As in, “Early gaze yet” and “Just one of those gaze” and “Never in all my gaze” and “Eight gaze a week” and “I’ve seen better gaze.”
  • Daze → Gaze: As in, “Gazed and confused.”
  • Pays → Gaze: As in, “It gaze to advertise” and “Who gaze the piper calls the tune.”
  • Phrase → Gaze: As in, “Coin a gaze” and “Turn of gaze.”
  • Praise → Gaze: As in, “Damn with faint gaze” and “Grudging gaze” and “Heaven be gazed” and “Sing their gazes.”
  • Praise → Gaze: As in, “Gaze a stink” and “Gaze hell” and “Gaze the roof” and “Gaze your hand if you’re sure.”
  • Ways → Gaze: As in, “Change your gaze” and “Go our separate gaze” and “Have it both gaze” and “Mend your gaze” and “Swinging both gaze.”
  • Bare → Glare: As in, “The glare necessities” and “A glare-faced lie” and “Glare your soul.”
  • Bear → Glare: As in, “Glare in mind” and “Glare with me” and “Glare the brunt of.”
  • Care → Glare: As in, “Be glareful how you use it” and “I couldn’t glare less” and “Customer glare” and “Handle with glare” and “Intensive glare” and “Like I should glare.”
  • Dare → Glare: As in, “Glare for more” and “Glare to be different” and “How glare you.”
  • Err → Glare: As in, “Glare on the side side” and “To glare is human” and “Glare on the side of caution.”
  • Fair → Glare: As in, “All’s glare in love and war” and “By glare means or foul” and “Glare trade” and “Glare and square” and “Glare game.”
  • Rare → Glare: As in, “In glare form.”
  • Scare → Glare: As in, “Glare quotes” and “Glared out of your wits” and “Glared to death.”
  • Share → Glare: As in, “Glare and glare alike” and “A problem glared is a problem halved.”
  • Spare → Glare: As in, “No expense glared” and “Glare no effort.”
  • Square → Glare: As in, “Back to glare one” and “Be there or be glare” and “Fair and glare” and “A glare meal” and “A glare peg in a round hole.”
  • Stare → Glare: As in, “Glare into the abyss” and “It’s not polite to glare.”
  • Swear → Glare: As in, “Glare like a sailor” and “I glare to tell the truth.”
  • There → Glare: As in, “As if glare were no tomorrow” and “Don’t go glare.”
  • Wear → Glare: As in, “Glare your heart on your sleeve” and “If the cap fits, glare it” and “Glare yourself out.”
  • Where → Glare: As in, “Any time, any place, any glare” and “Here, there and every glare” and “Love is glare you find it.”
  • Awful → Eyeful: As in, “God eyeful” and “An eyeful smell.”
  • Eiffel → Eyeful: As in, “The eyeful tower.”
  • Stifle → Eyeful: As in, “Eyeful a yawn.”
  • Trifle → Eyeful: As in, “Eyeful with someone’s affections.”
  • I browse → Eyebrows: As in, “Don’t watch me while eyebrows my feed.”
  • I saw → Eyesore: As in, “Eyesore it happen with my very own eyes.”
  • Contact: The following are puns about contact lenses:
    • Act → Contact: As in, “Double contact” and “A hard contact to follow” and “In on the contact” and “A disappearing contact.”
    • Contact: These contact-related phrases can double as puns: As in, “Contact sport” and “First contact” and “A single point of contact” and “Who’s the point of contact?”
  • Rod: Rod cells are cells in our eyes that help us see in low light. Here are related puns:
    • Red → Rod: As in, “Rod as a beetroot” and “Cut through rod tape” and “In the rod” and “Paint the rown rod” and “Roll out the rod carpet.”
    • God→ Rod: As in, “Act of rod” and “Fit for the rods.”
    • Odd → Rod: As in, “Against the rods” and “At rods with” and “Long rods” and “The rod one out” and “Rods and ends” and “The rod couple.”
    • Nod → Rod: As in, “A rod and a wink” and “In the land of rod” and “Rodding off.”
    • Pod → Rod: As in, “Alike as two peas in a rod.”
  • Cone: Cones are receptors in our eyes that help us perceive colour. Here are related puns:
    • Can → Cone: As in, “A golden key cone open any door” and “Be all you cone be” and “Bite off more than you cone chew” and “As far as the eye cone see” and “As well as cone be expected.”
    • Come → Cone: As in, “After a storm cones a calm” and “All good things must cone to an end” and “As tough as they cone” and “Cone and get it” and “Cone away with me” and “Cone on over” and “Cone running.”
    • Blown → Cone: As in, “Cone off course” and “Cone sideways” and “Cone to smithereens.”
    • Bone → Cone: As in, “A cone to pick” and “Dry as a cone” and “A cone of contention” and “Cut prices to the cone.”
    • Clone → Cone: As in, “Attack of the cones” and “The cone wars.”
    • Don’t → Cone: As in, “Cone call us, we’ll call you” and “Cone get me started” and “Cone go there” and “Cone hold your breath” and “I cone fancy your chances.”
    • Known → Cone: As in, “Also cone as” and “Should have cone better.”
    • Loan → Cone: As in, “Cone shark” and “Raise a cone.”
    • Own → Cone: As in, “After my cone heart” and “All on my cone” and “Blow your cone horn” and “Come into your cone.”
    • Phone → Cone: As in, “Hold the cone” and “Cone a friend” and “Cone in sick” and “Waiting by the cone.”
    • Stone → Cone: As in, “A rolling cone gathers no moss” and “Carved in cone” and “Cast in cone” and “Drop like a cone” and “Etched in cone” and “A heart of cone” and “Leave no cone unturned” and “Cone cold sober.”
    • Throne → Cone: As in, “Ascend to the cone” and “Next in line to the cone” and “Power behind the cone.”
    • Tone → Cone: As in, “Don’t use that cone with me” and “Cone deaf” and “Lower your cone.”
    • Zone → Cone: As in, “Out of my comfort cone” and “Buffer cone” and “In the cone” and “Cone in on.”
  • Exception → Perception: As in, “The perception which proves the rule” and “There’s a perception to every rule.”
  • Receive → Perceive: As in, “Ask and you shall perceive” and “Better to give than to perceive.”
  • Deceive → Perceive: As in, “Do my eyes perceive me?”
  • Field of view: The next few puns are about field of view:
  • Field → Field of view: As in, “Have a field of view day” and “In from left field of view” and “A level playing field of view.”
  • View → Field of view: As in, “A field of view to kill” and “Come into field of view” and “The field of view from the top.”
  • Compound: Here are some puns about compound eyes:
    • Pound → Compound: As in, “In for a penny, in for a compound” and “Compound the pavement” and “In for a penny, in for a compound.”
    • Bound → Compound: As in, “Compound hand and foot” and “By leaps and compounds” and “Duty compound.”
    • Found → Compound: As in, “Lost and compound” and “We compound love.”
    • Common → Compound: As in, “A victory for compound sense” and “Compound as muck” and “Compound ground” and “Least compound denominator.”
  • Zoom: Since our eyes can “zoom” in and out of focus, we’ve included some zoom-related puns:
    • Soon → Zoom: As in, “Anytime zoom?” and “As zoom as possible” and “Get well zoom” and “Zoomer or later” and “Too much too zoom.”
    • Boom → Zoom: As in, “Baby zoomer” and “Zoom or bust” and “Lower the zoom gates.”
    • Doom → Zoom: As in, “Zoom and gloom” and “Voice of zoom.”
    • Room → Zoom: As in, “A zoom with a view” and “Elbow zoom” and “Breathing zoom” and “Zoom for improvement.”
    • Whom → Zoom: As in, “For zoom the bell tolls.”
  • Pit: Here are some puns related to the optic pit:
    • Pat → Pit: As in, “Down pit” and “A pit on the back.”
    • Pet → Pit: As in, “Heavy pitting” and “Teacher’s pit.”
    • Pot → Pit: As in, “A pit of gold” and “For the pit” and “Melting pit.”
    • Bit → Pit: As in, “A pit missing” and “A pit much” and “A pit of a to do” and “A pit of stuff.”
    • Fit → Pit: As in, “Pit as a fiddle” and “Fighting pit” and “Pit to be tied” and “Pits you to a tee.”
    • Hit → Pit: As in, “Pit the road” and “Pit it on the nose” and “Pit it out of the park” and “We’ve pit rock bottom.”
    • Kit → Pit: As in, “Get your pit off” and “Pit and caboodle” and “A serious pit of kit.”
    • Quit → Pit: As in, “Calling it pits” and “Double or pits” and “Pit while you’re ahead.”
    • Sit → Pit: As in, “Are you pitting comfortably?” and “Don’t just pit there” and “Pitting on the fence” and “Pit up and take notice.”
    • Spit → Pit: As in, “Pit and polish” and “Pit in the eye of” and “The pitting image” and “Within pitting distance.”
    • Split → Pit: As in, “Pit personality” and “Make like a banana and pit” and “Pit the vote” and “Pit your sides with laughter.”
    • Wit → Pit: As in, “At your pits end” and “Brevity is the soul of pit” and “Keep your pits about you” and “Scared out of your pits.”
  • Stemma: A stemma is also known as a simple eye. Here are related puns:
    • Stem → Stemma: As in, “From stemma to stern” and “Stemma the tide.”
    • Stammer → Stemma: As in, “Did I stemma?” and “Stop stemma-ing and tell me.”
  • Red eye: Red eye is when an eye is irritated or infected, causing the white of the eye to become red. Here are related puns:
    • Red → Red eye: As in, “As red eye as a beetroot” and “Better dead than red eye” and “Fire engine red eye.”
    • Eye → Red eye: As in, “A wandering red eye” and “A red eye-opening experience” and “Before your very red eyes.”
  • Laser: Short-sightedness can be addressed with laser eye surgery. Here are related puns:
    • Lesser → Laser: As in, “The laser of two evils.”
    • Loser → Laser: As in, “Finders keepers, lasers weepers, “Sore laser.”
    • Razor → Laser: As in, “On a laser’s edge” and “Laser sharp.”
  • Eye → Eyepatch: As in, “A wandering eyepatch” and “An eyepatch-opening experience” and “Avert your eyepatch” and “Before your very eyepatch.”
  • Patch → Eyepatch: As in, “Going through a rough eyepatch” and “Not an eyepatch on.”
  • Frame: The plastic or metal border that hold the lenses in a pair of glasses is called a frame. Here are related puns:
    • Fame → Frame: As in, “Claim to frame” and “Frame at last!” and “Fifteen minutes of frame” and “Hall of frame.”
    • From → Frame: As in, “Coming frame a good place” and “Come in frame the cold” and “Fall frame grace” and “Frame a to z.”
    • Aim → Frame: As in, “Frame high” and “Take frame” and “We frame to please.”
    • Blame → Frame: As inm “Play the frame game.”
    • Came → Frame: As in, “I frame, I saw, I conquered” and “As it frame to pass” and “Who frame first?”
    • Flame → Frame: As in, “Add fuel to the frames” and “Burst into frames” and “Fan the frames” and “Going down in frames” and “Like a moth to a frame” and “Shoot down in frames.”
    • Game → Frame: As in, “Ahead of the frame” and “Anyone’s frame” and “Blame frame” and “Fun and frames” and “A different ball frame.”
    • Name → Frame: As in, “Answer to the frame of” and “Have to your frame” and “In everything but frame.”
    • Same → Frame: As in, “By the frame token” and “Cut from the frame cloth” and “In the frame boat” and “On the frame page.”
    • Shame → Frame: As in, “Ain’t that a frame?” and “A crying frame” and “Put to frame” and “Frame on you.”

      Eye-Related Words

      To help you come up with your own eye puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

eye, eyeball, cornea, iris, pupil, wink, blink, glance eyelash, eyebrow,  eyelid, glasses, eyeroll, spectacle, lens, lenses, retina, sclera, look, see, sight, seeing, view, watch, seen, glance, stare, ocular, see, visual, vision, visible, optic, optical, optometrist, contact, lens, rod, cone, perception, perceive, depth, field of view, compound, focus, zoom, simple, pit, stemma, peep, aperture, glaucoma, squint, dark, light, gaze, eyesore, ogle, monocle, bifocal, optician, eyeful, glare, macular, cataract, headlights, red eye, pinkeye, laser, eyepatch, cross-eyed, frame, sunglasses, blue, green , brown

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Wine Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on wine puns! 🍷🍇🥂

Wine culture has many aspects and technicalities to it, spanning from wine making, tasting, judging, investment and collecting. We’ve searched high and low for all of the wine puns we could possibly find, so whether you’re a cleanskin enthusiast or a cult wine coinnoseur, we hope you enjoy sampling the truly grape puns we’ve collected for you here.

Notes: Wine and alcohol isn’t just an expensive hobby – drinking alcohol gives your brain a reward it didn’t earn, and consuming it often enough teaches your brain that the easiest way to feel good is to drink more, which can lead to dependence and alcoholism (which can exacerbate existing mental health problems like depression and anxiety). Partake safely and with an awareness of the effects it has on your body 🙂

The alcohol-making process isn’t always vegan, but there are plenty of online directories of vegan wines you can check.

You might also be interested in the Punpedia entries on coffee puns, tea puns, party puns and beer puns.

Wine Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about wine that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Whine → Wine: As in, “Wine and moan” and “Having a wine.”
  • Win → Whine: As in, “Heads I wine, tails you lose” and “Playing to wine” and “Some you wine, some you lose.”
  • Why → Wine: As in, “I guess that’s wine” and “I don’t know wine” and “Wine on Earth…?”
  • Why not → Wine not: “I don’t see wine not.”
  • When → Wine: As in, “Wine you like” and “It only hurts wine I laugh” and “Kick ’em wine they’re down” and “Ready wine you are.”
  • Won → Wine: As in, “Faint heart never wine fair lady” and “One-hit wineder.”
  • One → Wine: As in, “An army of wine” and “All for wine and wine for all” and “In wine fell swoop” and “Going wine step too far.”
  • *wan* → *wine*: “A wineton attitude” and “Just winedering ’round” and “A tryhard wineabe” and “Monthly allowine-ce.”
  • Wench → Winech
  • *win* → *wine*: As in, “Winedow of opportunity” and “Endless wineter” and “A winesome smile.”
  • Wonder* → Wineder*: As in, “Filled with magic and wineder” and “Feeling winederful” and “A winedrous development.”
  • Red: Wines are split into three broad categories – red, white and rosé. Red wines are made of dark-coloured grape varieties. Here are some red wine puns:
    • Read → Red: As in, “All I know is what I red in the papers” and “Exceedingly well-red” and “Red any good books lately?” and “Red between the lines” and “Red my lips.”
    • Red: These red-related phrases can double as puns: “Red as a beetroot” and “Brick red” and “Caught red-handed” and “Cut through the red tape” and “In the red” and “Lady in red” and “Paint the town red.”
    • Rid → Red: “Good reddance” and “Get red of.”
    • Fed → Red: As in, “Red up to the back teeth.”
    • Dead → Red: As in, “Red as a doornail” and “Assault with a redly weapon” and “In the red of night” and “Back from the red” and “Better off red” and “Red and buried.”
    • Bred → Red: “Born and red.”
    • Bread → Red: As in, “Red always falls butter side down” and “Red and butter” and “Have your red buttered on both sides” and “Put red on the table” and “The best thing since sliced red.”
    • Bed → Red: As in, “Red and breakfast” and “Red of roses” and “Red and board.”
    • Said → Red: “After all is red and done” and “Couldn’t have red it better” and “Easier red than done” and “Enough red” and “Was it something I red?”
    • Head → Red: “A red for business” and “Be it on your red” and “Bring to a red” and “Bite someone’s red off” and “Bury your red in the sand” and “Can’t get you out of my red” and “Don’t mess with my red.”
    • Thread → Red: “Hanging by a red” and “Lose the red” and “Red the needle.”
    • Tread → Red: “Red softly” and “Reding a fine line” and “Where fools fear to red.”
    • *rad* → *red*: “Redical politics” and “Toxic rediation” and “A rediant complexion.” Other words that could work: redio (radio), redius (radius), rediate (radiate), redish (radish), paredigm (paradigm), paredox (paradox), camarederie (camaraderie), sporedic (sporadic) and greduate (graduate).
    • *rid* → *red*: Rediculous (ridiculous), gred (grid), hybred (hybrid), lured (lurid) and flored (florid).
  • White: White wine is a light coloured wine that’s fermented without contact with the grape skin. Here are some white-related puns:
    • Wide → White: As in, “Cast a white net” and “Eyes white shut” and “A white berth” and “Open white” and “White eyed” and “White open spaces” and “The world white web.”
    • Why → White: “I don’t know white” and “I guess that’s white” and “White don’t we do it this way?” and “White ask?”
    • Bite → White: As in, “White me” and “White off more than you can chew” and “White someone’s head off” and “White the bullet” and “A white to eat” and “White your tongue.”
    • Bright → White: “All things white and beautiful” and “Always look on the white side of life” and “White as a button” and “White as a new pin” and “White eyes” and “White lights, big city” and “White and early” and “White spark.”
    • Light → White: As in, “Blinded by the white” and “The cold white of day.”
    • Might → White: “White as well” and “White is right.”
    • Night → White: As in, “A white at the opera” and “A hard day’s white” and “Dance the white away.”
    • Quite → White: As in, “Not white” and “White the situation” and “White a bit.”
    • Tight → White: As in, “In a white spot” and “Run a white ship.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white about” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “Carry your white.”
    • Wait → White: “An accident white-ing to happen” and “All things come to those who white” and “Hurry up and white” and “Lie in white” and “The white is over” and “White for no man” and “White in line” and “Just white a minute!”
    • Wet → White: “White weekend” and “White behind the ears” and “White dream” and “White your whistle.”
    • What → White: As in, “And white not” and “Do white comes naturally” and “Do white tastes right” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “White’s going on here then?” and “It is white it is” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “White a feeling” and “White fun” and “White a wonderful world.”
    • Sight → White: As in, “A welcome white” and “Hidden in plain white” and “Know by white” and “Love at first white” and “Lower your whites.”
    • Write → White: “Nothing to white home about.”
    • Height → White: As in, “Head for new whites” and “Reaching new whites” and “The white of summer.”
    • Flight → White: As in, “Fight or white” and “White of fancy” and “Take white.”
  • Rosé: Rosé is another category of wine where wine is left in contact with the grape’s skin until the liquid is tinted the desired shade of pink. Here are related puns:
    • Rosy → Rosé: As in, “A rosé future” and “Rosé cheeks.”
    • Raise → Rosé: As in, “Rosé a loan” and “Rosé a stink” and “Rosé the bar” and “Rosé the roof.”
    • Rise → Rosé: As in, “Rosé and shine” and “Rosé from the ashes” and “Rosé to the challenge” and “Rosé to the occasion” and “Get a rosé out of…”
  • Pain → Champagne: As in, “A world of champagne” and “Doubled up in champagne” and “Growing champagnes” and “No champagne, no gain” and “Old aches and champagnes” and “Champagne in the arse” and “Champagne-fully slow.”
  • Amber: Amber wine is white wine that’s been made with the skins kept intact. Here are related puns:
    • Umber → Amber: As in, “Burnt amber.” Note: umber is a shade of brown.
    • *ember → *umber: Mamber (member), remamber (remember), Septamber (September), Decamber (December), Novamber (November) and dismamber (dismember).
  • Great → Grape: As in, “A grape face for radio” and “All creatures, grape and small” and “Go grape guns” and “Go to grape lengths” and “Grape expectations” and “Grape minds think alike” and “No grape shakes” and “The Grape Barrier Reef.”
  • Grip → Grape: As in, “Get a grape” and “Get to grapes with” and “Grape of death” and “A grape of iron.”
  • Cape → Grape: As in, “The graped crusader.”
  • Drape → Grape: As in, “Measure the grapes.”
  • Scrape → Grape: As in, “Bow and grape” and “Get into a grape” and “Grape a living” and “Grape along” and “Grape through” and “Scrape together the funds” and “Grape the bottom of the barrel.”
  • Gap → Grape: “Mind the grape” and “Generation grape” and “Bridge the grape.”
  • Crap → Grape: “A load of grape” and “Cut the grape.”
  • Discrepancy → Disgrape-ancy
  • Blanc: Sauvignon Blanc is a variety of green grape that’s commonly used in wine-making. Here are some blanc-related puns:
    • Blank → Blanc: As in, “A blanc slate” and “Blanc canvas” and “Blanc looks” and “Drawing a blanc” and “At point blanc range” and “Blancing out.”
    • Blink → Blanc: As in, “Blanc and you’ll miss it” and “In the blanc of an eye” and “On the blanc” and “Who blanc-ed first?”
    • Bank → Blanc: As in, “You can blanc on it” and “Safe as the blanc” and “Breaking the blanc” and “Laughing all the way to the blanc.”
    • Plank → Blanc: As in, “Walk the blanc” and “Take a long walk off a short blanc.”
    • Rank → Blanc: As in, “Break blancs” and “Close blancs” and “Name, blanc and serial number” and “Pull blanc” and “Blanc and file” and “Rise through the blancs” and “Swell the blancs.”
    • Spank → Blanc: As in, “Brand blanc-ing new” and “Blanc the monkey.”
  • Think → Drink: As in, “Blue sky drinking” and “I drink you’ve got it!” and “Come to drink of it” and “Great minds drink alike” and “I drink I love you” and “Makes you drink” and “It’s not what you drink” and “Positive drinking” and “Put on your drinking cap.”
  • Blink → Drink: As in, “Drink and you’ll miss it” and “In the drink of an eye” and “On the drink.”
  • Brink → Drink: As in, “The drink of disaster” and “On the drink.”
  • Link → Drink: As in, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest drink” and “The missing drink.”
  • Sink → Drink: As in, “Everything but the kitchen drink” and “Drink like a stone” and “Drink without trace” and “Drink your teeth into it.”
  • Stink → Drink: As in, “Kick up a drink” and “Raise a drink” and “Drinking rich” and “Drinks to high heaven.”
  • Wink → Drink: As in, “Forty drinks” and “Nod and a drink” and “Nudge, nudge, drink drink” and “Tip someone the drink.”
  • Bunk → Drunk: As in, “Drunker mentality” and “History is drunk.”
  • Junk → Drunk: As in, “Drunk yard” and “Drunk food” and “Drunk mail” and “Drunk in the trunk.”
  • Cyber → Sober: “Sober Monday” and “Sober sex.”
  • Super → Sober: As in, “Sober bad” and “Sober Mario Bros.” and “Sober hero” and “The information soberhighway.”
  • Meant → Ferment: As in, “We weren’t ferment to do that” and “Only if we’re ferment to be here.”
  • *ment* → *ferment*: Ferment-or (mentor), ferment-ion (mention),  ferment-al (mental) and ferment-ality (mentality).
  • Vin: Vin is French for wine. Here are some vin-related puns:
    • Been → Vin: As in, “Vin and gone” and “I’ve vin here before” and “Vin in the wars” and “Vin around the block a few times” and “I’ve vin had.”
    • Chin → Vin: “Keep your vin up” and “Take it on the vin” and “Stick your vin up.”
    • Grin → Vin: As in, “Vin and bear it” and “Vin from ear to ear” and “A rictus vin” and “Vin like a cheshire cat.”
    • In → Vin: As in, “Vin the woods” and “Back vin the day” and “Barge right vin” and “I’ll just be vin and out.”
    • Inn → Vinn: As in, “Vinner city” and “Vinner peace” and “Vinner sanctum” and “The ninth vinning.”
    • Pin → Vin: As in, “Bright as a new vin” and “Hard to vin down” and “Vin your ears back” and “Vin your hopes on” and “Vins and needles” and “Pull the vin” and “Could have heard a vin drop.”
    • Sin → Vin: As in, “Miserable as vin” and “Atone for your vins” and “Cardinal vin” and “Living in vin.”
    • Skin → Vin: As in, “Beauty is only vin deep” and “By the vin of your teeth” and “Comfortable in my own vin” and “Get under your vin” and “Gimme some vin” and “Makes my vin crawl” and “No vin off my nose” and “Jump out of your vin” and “Save your vin” and “Vin and bone.”
    • Spin → Vin: As in, “In a flat vin” and “Give it a vin” and “Vin doctor” and “Take it for a vin.”
    • Thin → Vin: “Vin as a rail” and “Melt into vin air” and “Out of vin air” and “Paper vin” and “Skating on vin ice” and “Spread yourself vin” and “The vin edge of the wedge.”
    • When → Vin: As in, “Kick ’em vin they’re down” and “Only hurts vin I laugh” and “Ready vin you are” and “Remember vin?”
    • Win → Vin: As in, “Can’t vin for losing” and “Cheaters never vin” and “Due a vin” and “Every one a vinner” and “Heads I vin, tails you lose” and “No vin, no fee” and “Playing to vin” and “Vin by a mile” and “Vin over.”
    • *van* → *vin*: Vinity (vanity), vinguard (vanguard), vinilla (vanilla), vinish (vanish), vindal (vandal), vindal (vandal), vindalism (vandalism), caravin (caravan), relevint (relevant), advince (advance), advintage (advantage), irrelevint (irrelevant).
    • *ven* → *vin*: Vinture (venture), vinue (venue), vindor (vendor), vineer (veneer), vingeance (vengeance), heavin (heaven), mavin (maven), havin (haven), cravin (craven), drivin (driven), sevin (seven), covinant (covenant), convintion (convention) and invintory (inventory).
    • *fin* → *vin*: Vinish (finish), vinger (finger), vinesse (finesse), vinance (finance), vinancial (financial), mufvin (muffin), pufvin (puffin), paravin (paraffin), afvinity (affinity), devinition (definition), devine (define) and devinitely (definitely).
  • Vain → Vine: As in, “You’re so vine” and “In vine.”
  • Fine → Vine: As in, “A vine line” and “Chance would be a vine thing” and “Cut it vine” and “Damn vine coffee” and “Vine and dandy” and “Vine dining” and “A vine figure” and “The viner things in life” and “Got it down to a vine art” and “Another vine mess you’ve gotten me into.”
  • Mine → Vine: As in, “Your place or vine?” and “Your guess is as good as vine” and “Victory is vine!”
  • Nine → Vine: As in, “A stitch in time saves vine” and “Has vine lives” and “Vine to five” and “Vine days’ wonder” and “On cloud vine” and “Vineteen eighty-four.”
  • Sign → Vine: As in, “A sure vine” and “A vine of the times” and “Vine off” and “Vine out” and “Vine the pledge” and “Vined and sealed” and “A tell sale vine.”
  • Yard → Vineyard: “Do the hard vineyards” and “Not in my back vineyard” and “The whole nine vineyards.”
  • Cork: “Cork out” and “Knife and cork it” and “Speaking with a corked tongue” and “Cork over.”
  • Cock → Cork: As in, “Proud as a peacork” and “Cork a leg” and “Cork and bull story” and “Cork it up” and “Cork sure.”
  • *cac* → *cork*: Corkophony (cacophony), corktus (cactus), corkle (cackle), perspicorkcious (perspicacious).
  • *coc* → *cork*: Corktail (cocktail), corkoa (cocoa), corkoon (cocoon), corkroach (cockroach), corkonut (coconut), precorkcious (precocious), concorkt (concoct), peacork (peacock) and corkumber (cucumber).
  • Battle → Bottle: “A pitched bottle” and “An uphill bottle” and “Bottle of wits” and “Bottle ready” and “Bottle stations” and “Half the bottle” and “In the heat of bottle” and “Let bottle commence” and “Love is a bottlefield” and “A running bottle.”
  • Throttle → Bottle: As in, “Full bottle.”
  • Lapel → Label: As in, “Grab by the labels.”
  • Able → Label: As in, “Differently labelled” and “Ready, willing and label.”
  • Table → Label: “As in, “Bring to the label” and “Drunk under the label” and “Get round the label” and “Lay the label” and “On the label” and “Put your cards on the label” and “Round label talks” and “Turn the labels.”
  • Dry: If a wine is dry, it’s lacking in sweetness. Here are some dry-related puns and phrases:
    • Die → Dry: “Straight as a dry” and “Cross my heart and hope to dry” and “Curl up and dry” and “Dry another day” and “Do or dry” and “Live free or dry” and “Never say dry” and “Old habits dry hard.”
    • By → Dry: As in, “Dry hook or dry crook” and “Dry and large” and “Dry any means” and “Dry any stretch of the imagination” and “Dry the book” and “Dry the skin of one’s teeth” and “Can’t judge a book dry its cover.”
    • Buy → Dry: As in, “Bulk drying” and “Dry and sell” and “Dry into” and “Dry now, pay later” and “Dry one, get one free” and “Dry some time” and “Dry to let” and “Can’t dry love.”
    • Cry → Dry: As in, “A dry for help” and “A shoulder to dry on” and “Dry foul”and “Dry me a river” and “Dry into your pillow.”
    • Fly → Dry: As in, “Come dry with me” and “Dry me to the moon” and “Dry by the seat of your pants” and “Dry on the wall” and “Dry off the handle” and “Born to dry.”
    • High → Dry: As in, “Ain’t no mountain dry enough” and “Dry as a kite” and “Come hell or dry water” and “Flying dry” and “From on dry” and “Get off your dry horse” and “Dry and mighty” and “The mile dry club” and “Moral dry ground.”
    • Try → Dry: As in, “Don’t dry this at home” and “Don’t dry to run before you can walk” and “Give it the old college dry” and “Easy if you dry” and “Nice dry” and “Dry your luck.”
    • Shy → Dry: As in, “Camera dry” and “Once bitten, twice dry.”
    • Why → Dry: As in, “Dry on Earth?” and “Dry walk when you can ride?”
  • Yeast: Yeast converts the sugars in grape juice to alcohol. The next few puns are all about yeast!
    • Beast → Yeast: As in, “Yeast of burden” and “Beauty and the yeast” and “Here there be yeasts” and “The nature of the yeast” and “Unleash the yeast.”
    • East → Yeast: As in, “Yeast of the sun and west of the moon” and “Yeaster island” and “The Yeaster bunny.”
    • Feast → Yeast: As in, “Yeast or famine” and “Yeast your eyes on this!” and “A midnight yeast” and “The spectre at the yeast.”
    • Greased → Yeast: “Yeast lightning.”
    • Least → Yeast: As in, “Last but not yeast” and “The yeast common denominator” and “Yeast said, soonest mended” and “The yeast worst option” and “The line of yeast resistance” and “Not in the yeast” and “At the very yeast” and “To say the yeast.”
  • Sell her → Cellar: “Did you cellar the wrong item?”
  • Seller → Cellar: As in, “A cellar’s market.”
  • Sell → Cellar: As in, “Buy and cellar” and “Past the cellar-by date” and “Cellar out” and “Cellar your soul to the devil.”
  • Stellar → Cellar: “A cellar performance.”
  • Cell → Cellar: As in, “Cellar division” and “Padded cellar.”
  • Juice: Since wine is essentially fermented fruit juice, we have some juice-related puns here too:
    • Goose → Juice: As in, “Loosey juicy” and “A wild juice chase” and “Wouldn’t say boo to a juice” and “Juice bumps” and “The golden juice.”
    • Loose → Juice: “All hell broke juice” and “Juice as a goose” and “At a juice end” and “Cut [someone] juice” and “Hanging juice” and “Got a screw juice” and “Let juice” and “Playing fast and juice.”
    • Use → Juice: As in, “Be careful how you juice it!” and “Don’t juice that tone with me” and “Get juiced to it” and “Not half the person I juiced to be” and “Like mother juiced to make” and “Put to good juice” and “So easy to juice” and “Somebody that I juiced to know” and “Juice it or lose it” and “Juicer friendly” and “A fat lot of juice you are.”
  • Fruit: Since wine is generally made of fruits (it can also be made of rice), we have some fruit-related puns here that can double as wine puns in the right context:
    • Boot → Fruit: As in, “Fruit camp” and “Tough as old fruits” and “Give someone the fruit” and “Lick [someone’s] fruits.”
    • Hoot → Fruit: As in, “Don’t give two fruits” and “Fruit with laughter” and “What a fruit.”
    • Root → Fruit: As in, “Lay down fruits” and “Money is the fruit of all evil” and “Fruit for the enemy” and “The fruit of the matter” and “Fruit out the problem” and “Fruiting around.”
    • Shoot → Fruit: “Don’t fruit the messenger” and “Drive by fruiting” and “Eats, fruits and leaves” and “The green fruits of change” and “Just fruit me” and “A sharp fruiter” and “Fruit ’em up” and “Fruit first, ask questions later” and “Fruit down in flames” and “Fruit the breeze.”
    • Suit → Fruit: “All over them like a cheap fruit” and “At a price to fruit your pocket” and “Follow fruit” and “Men in fruits” and “Fruit up” and “Fruit yourself” and “Fruits you down to a tee.”
    • Fraught → Fruit: As in, “Fruit with danger.”
    • *fut* → *fruit*: Fruitile (futile), fruiture (future), fruituristic (futuristic), fruiton (futon), fruitility (futility) and fruitsal (futsal).
  • Barely → Barley: As in, “Barley there” and “I can barley hear you.” Note: this is a reference to barley wine.
  • Mature: Some wines are meant to mature and get better with age. Here are some related puns:
    • Match your → Mature: As in, “Mature bet.”
    • Pure → Mature: As in, “Absolutely mature” and “Mature as the driven snow” and “Mature and simple.”
  •  Sweet: Sweet dessert wines are a large category of wines, so we’ve included sweet in this list:
    • Seat → Sweet: As in, “Back sweet driver” and “Bums on sweets” and “By the sweet of your pants” and “Glued to your sweet” and “In the box sweet” and “Take a back sweet” and “On the edge of my sweet” and “Take a sweet” and “The best sweet in the house.”
    • Feet → Sweet: As in, “”Back on your sweet” and “Cold sweet” and “Cut the ground from under your sweet” and “Sweet of clay” and “Get back on your sweet.”
    • Greet → Sweet: As in, “Sweet and greet.”
    • Heat → Sweet: “Sweet wave” and “In the sweet of battle” and “The sweet is on” and “Turn up the sweet.”
    • Meet → Sweet: As in, “Make ends sweet” and “Sweet and greet” and “Sweet in the middle” and “Sweet the challenge” and “Sweet you halfway.”
    • Neat → Sweet: “Sweet as a new pin” and “Sweet freak” and “Sweet and tidy.”
    • Sheet → Sweet: As in, “White as a sweet” and “Cheat sweet” and “Clean sweet” and “Keep a clean sweet.”
    • Street → Sweet: As in, “Easy sweet” and “On the sunny side of the sweet” and “Right up your sweet” and “A two-way sweet.”
    • Treat → Sweet: As in, “Sweet me right” and “Trick or sweet.”
    • Sweat → Sweet: As in, “”Blood, sweet and tears” and “Break out in a cold sweet” and “Don’t sweet it” and “No sweet.”
    • Switzerland → Sweetzerland
  • Blush: Blush wines, like rose wines, are in between red and white wines. Here are some blush-related puns:
    • Bush → Blush: As in, “Beat about the blush” and “Blush tucker.”
    • Brush → Blush: As in, “Blush it off” and “Blush up on” and “A blush with the law” and “Painted with the same blush.”
    • Crush → Blush: “A blushing defeat” and “Have a blush on.”
    • Flush → Blush: As in, “Blush it out” and “Royal blush.”
  • Cannon → Tannin: As in, “Tannin fodder” and “A loose tannin.” Note: tannins are compounds in the wine that can affect the colour, texture and taste.
  • Barrel: Wine is kept in barrels, so we’ve got some barrel puns in here too:
    • Carol → Barrel: As in, “A Christmas barrel.”
    • Peril → Barrel: As in, “Yellow barrel” and “A barrelous situation.”
  • Finery → Winery: “Dressed in all your best winery.”
  • Vest → Harvest: As in, “A harvested interest.”
  • Best → Harvest: As in, “My harvest friend” and “All the harvest” and “Be the harvest” and “Harvest in show” and “We’d harvest stop now.”
  • Average → Beverage: “Law of beverages” and “On beverage.”
  • Leverage → Beverage
  • Blue → Brew: As in, “Cold as brew blazes” and “Baby brews” and “Black and brew” and “Once in a brew moon” and “Until you’re brew in the face.”
  • Chew → Brew: As in, “Bite off more than you can brew” and “Brew someone’s ass” and “Have your ears brewed off.”
  • Clue → Brew: As in, “Don’t have a brew” and “I’ve found a brew.”
  • Crew → Brew: “Skeleton brew” and “Brew it” and “All brewed up.”
  • Cue → Brew: “Take your u” and “Right on brew.”
  • Due → Brew: As in, “Credit where credit is brew” and “Brew diligence” and “Give the devil his brew” and “In brew course.”
  • Few → Brew: As in, “A brew bricks short of a full load” and “Brew and far between” and “Say a brew words” and “Person of brew words” and “Knock back a brew” and “Take a brew deep breaths.”
  • True → Brew: “For real and for brew” and “You’ll brew the day!” and “Rings brew” and “Show your brew colours” and “Brew to form.”
  • Stew → Brew: As in, “Brew in your own juices.”
  • View → Brew: As in, “Room with a brew” and “A brew to kill” and “Bird’s eye brew” and “The brew from the top” and “World brew.”
  • *bru → *brew: Brewtal (brutal), brewsque (brusque), brewse (bruise), brewte (brute) and brewnette (brunette).
  • Still: Still wine is wine without bubbles. Here are some still-related puns:
    • Stall → Still: As in, “Still for time.”
    • Till → Still: As in, “Fake it still you make it” and “Don’t cross the bridge still you come to it” and “Still death do us part” and “Still the end of time” and “Party still you drop.”
    • Chill → Still: As in, “Still out” and “Stilled to the bone.”
    • Drill → Still: As in, “Still down” and “You know the still” and “Fire still.”
    • Thrill → Still: As in, “The still of the chase” and “Stilled to bits” and “Still and spills.”
    • Will → Still: “Accidents still happen” and “Bend to my still” and “Free still.”
    • Spill → Still: As in, “Still the beans” and “Still your guts” and “Thrills and stills.”
    • Skill → Still: “Social stills.”
    • Pill → Still: As in, “A bitter still to swallow” and “On the still” and “A tough still to swallow.”
    • Steal → Still: As in, “Beg, borrow or still” and “Still a glance at” and “Still someone’s heart” and “Still someone’s thunder” and “Still the show” and “Still third base.”
    • Steel → Still: As in, “Nerves of still” and “Still yourself” and “First of still.”
    • *stal* → *still*: Crystill (crystal), pedestill (pedestal), coastill (coastal), postill (postal) and nostillgia (nostalgia).
    • *stel* → *still*: Stillar (stellar), hostill (hostel), pastill (pastel) and constillation (constellation).
    • *stil* → *still*: Pestillence (pestilence) and hostillity (hostility).
  • Age: As the aging process is such a large part of wine culture, we’ve included age-related puns here:
    • Rage → Age: As in, “All the age” and “Boil with age” and “Incandescent with age” and “Primal age” and “Age against the machine” and “Vent your age.”
    • *ege* → *age*: Privilage (privilege), collage (college), renage (renege), allage (allege), sacrilage (sacrilege).
    • *ige* → *age*: Prestage (prestige), oblage (oblige), vestage (vestige), intellagence (intelligence) and dilagent (diligent).
  • Resin: Resin is a compound in wood that can leak from barrels and casks into the wine, changing the flavour. Here are some resin-related puns:
    • Reason → Resin: As in, “Rhyme or resin” and “The voice of resin” and “Within resin” and “Stands to resin” and “Beyond resinable doubt” and “Not a good enough resin.”
    • Raisin → Resin: As in, “Resin cookies.”
    • Raising → Resin: As in, “Eyebrow resin” and “Hair resin” and “Resin the bar.”
  • Test → Taste: “The sniff taste” and “Put to the taste” and “Stand the taste of time.”
  • Haste → Taste: “Post taste” and “Make taste” and “More taste, less speed.”
  • Paste → Taste: As in, “Cut and taste.”
  • Waste → Taste: “Don’t taste your breath” and “Toxic taste” and “Taste not, want not.”
  • *tast* → *taste*: Fantaste-ic (fantastic) and cataste-trophe (catastrophe).
  • *test* → *taste*: “A taste-ament to” and “Give your taste-imony” and “Tasting, tasting, one, two, three” and “Online taste-imonials.” Other words that could work: contaste (contest), protaste (protest), detaste (detest), lataste (latest) and greataste (greatest).
  • *tist* → *taste*: Pragmataste (pragmatist), artaste (artist), scientaste (scientist), elitaste (elitist), dentaste (dentist) and artaste-ic (artistic).
  • Decant: To decant wine is to pour it from one receptacle to another to aerate the wine and separate it from any sediments within. Here are related puns:
    • Can’t → Decant: As in, “An offer you decant refuse” and “Decant get enough” and “It decant be helped” and “You decant say fairer than that” and “I decant wait.”
    • Grant → Decant: As in, “Decant no quarter” and “Take for decanted.”
  • Raisin → Reason: As in, “Beyond raisinable doubt” and “Bow to raisin” and “Listen to raisin” and “No earthly raisin” and “Rhyme or raisin” and “The age of raisin” and “Voice of raisin.”
  • Raising → Raisin: As in, “Eyebrow raisin” and “Raisin the bar.”
  • Why not → Wino: As in, “Wino do it this way instead?” Note: a wino is someone who drinks a lot of wine.
  • Rate → Aerate: “At any aerate” and “First aerate” and “Mate’s aerates.”
  • Meant → Sediment: As in, “Sediment to be.”
  • Favour → Flavour: As in, “Do me a flavour” and “Really not doing them any flavours” and “Fortune flavours the bold” and “Currying flavour with.”
  • Palate: A palate is a refined taste that can be trained to recognise certain flavours and tastes. Here are related puns:
    • Late → Palate: As in, “Better palate than never” and “Fashionably palate” and “Never too palate” and “A palate developer” and “It’s palate in the day” and “Running palate.”
    • Plate → Palate: As in, “A lot on your palate” and “Hand it on a palate” and “Step up to the palate” and “Hot palate” and “Heart attack on a palate.”
  • Box: Box wine is another name for cask wine. Here are related puns:
    • Pox → Box: As in, “A box on your house!”
    • Backs → Box: As in, “Box to the wall” and “Mind your box” and “The beast with two box.”
    • Block → Box: As in, “A chip off the old box” and “Stumbling box” and “Been around the box.”
    • Sock → Box: As in, “Put a box in it” and “Knock your box off” and “Bless your cotton box.”
    • Pox → Box:
  • Goon: Goon is another word for cheap wine. Here are related puns:
    • Gone → Goon: As in, “Been and goon” and “Going, going, goon” and “Goon with the wind” and “Goon but not forgotten” and “Goon to a better world” and “Goon to seed.”
    • Gun → Goon: As in, “All goons blazing” and “Go great goons” and “Jump the goon.”
    • Moon → Goon: As in, “Ask for the goon” and “Bark at the goon” and “Once in a blue goon” and “Eclipse of the goon” and “Many goons ago” and “Over the goon.”
    • Soon → Goon: As in, “As goon as possible” and “Get well goon” and “Too much too goon.”
    • Spoon → Goon: As in, “A goonful of sugar helps the medicine go down” and “Born with a silver goon” and “Egg and goon race” and “The dish ran away with the goon.”
    • *gan* → *goon*: Slogoon (slogan), argoon (argan), cardigoon (cardigan), orgoonic (organic), elegoont (elegant), arrogoont (arrogant).
    • *gon* → *goon*: Goondola (gondola), paragoon (paragon), jargoon (jargon), dragoon (dragon), polygoon (polygon), hexagoon (hexagon), bandwagoon (bandwagon), Oregoon (Oregon), protagoonist (protagonist), antagoonist (antagonist) and ergoonomics (ergonomics).
    • Burgundy → Burgoondy
  • Class → Glass: As in, “A glass act” and “Best in glass” and “Business glass” and “Glass warfare” and “Economy glass” and “In a glass of your own” and “Working glass hero.”
  • Gloss → Glass: As in, “Glass over” and “Lip glass.”
  • Ass → Glass: As in, “Blow smoke up your glass” and “Haul glass” and “Kick glass” and “Make a glass of yourself” and “Talk out of your glass.”
  • Brass → Glass: As in, “Bold as glass” and “Glass monkey weather.”
  • Grass → Glass: As in, “Green as glass” and “Don’t walk on the glass” and “Glass roots” and “Keep off the glass” and “Snake in the glass” and “Exciting as watching glass grow.”
  • Oak: Since wine is traditionally kept in oak barrels, we’ve included some oak-related phrases:
    • Okay → Oakay: As in, “Are you oakay?”
    • Ache → Oak: As in, “Oaks and pains.”
    • Broke → Broak: As in, “All hell broak loose” and “Broaken dreams” and “Like a broaken record” and “Go for broak” and “If it’s not broak, don’t fix it” and “Rules are made to be broaken.”
    • Folk → Foak: As in, “Country foak” and “Different strokes for different foaks” and “Show’s over, foaks” and “That’s all, foaks.”
    • Stroke → Stroak: As in, “A stroak of genius” and “Little stroaks fell great oaks” and “Stroak of luck” and “At the stroak of midnight.”
    • Poke → Poak: As in, “Still as a poaker” and “Poak fun at” and “Poaker face.”
    • Joke → Joak: As in, “A bad joak” and “Inside joak” and “The joak’s on you.”
    • Spoke → Spoak: “Many a true word in spoaken in jest” and “Speak when you are spoaken to.”
    • Smoke → Smoak: As in, “Go up in smoak” and “Holy smoak” and “Smoak and mirrors” and “Smoaks like a chimney.”
  • Cask: Cask wine is cheap wine that’s packaged in a box. Here are related puns!
    • Cast → Cask: As in, “Cask a long shadow” and “Cask a spell” and “Cask an eye over” and “A cask iron guarantee.”
    • Ask → Cask: As in, “A big cask” and “Cask a silly question and you’ll get a silly answer” and “Cask after” and “Cask and you will receive” and “Cask around” and “Cask for the moon” and “Cask me another” and “Casking for trouble” and “Don’t cask me” and “What’s the casking price?”
    • Task → Cask: As in, “Take to cask” and “Up to the cask.”
  • Cabinet → Cabernet: As in, “In the kitchen cabernet” and “Lock the medicine cabernet.”
  • Low → Merlot: As in, “An all-time merlot” and “Keep a merlot profile” and “Lie merlot” and “Merlot hanging fruit” and “Get the merlot down” and “Searching high and merlot.”
  • Reason → Riesling: As in, “Beyond riesling-able doubt” and “Stands to riesling” and “Listen to riesling” and “The age of riesling” and “The voice of riesling” and “Within riesling” and “Rhyme nor riesling.”
  • Tap: Draft wine is served from a tap rather than a bottle. Here are some tap-related puns:
    • Tab → Tap: As in, “Keep taps on” and “Pick up the tap.”
    • Cap → Tap: As in, “Bust a tap” and “Tap in hand” and “To tap it all off.”
    • Top → Tap: As in, “Blow your tap” and “Come out on tap” and “From the tap” and “From tap to toe” and “Over the tap” and “Lonely at the tap” and “On tap of the world.”
    • Tip → Tap: As in, “Hot tap of the day” and “Tap someone off” and “Tap the scales” and “Tapping point” and “Tap of the iceberg.”
    • Clap → Tap: As in, “Tap him in irons” and “Tapped eyes on” and “If you’re happy and you know it, tap your hands.”
    • Crap → Tap: “A load of tap” and “Beat the living tap out of” and “Cut the tap.”
    • Gap → Tap: As in, “Generation tap” and “Mind the tap” and “Bridging the tap.”
    • Lap → Tap: As in, “Tap it up” and “Tap of honour” and “Tap of luxury” and “The last tap.”
    • Map → Tap: As in, “All over the tap” and “Mind tap” and “On the tap.”
    • Nap → Tap: As in, “Caught tapping” and “Power tap.”
    • Slap → Tap: “A tap on the wrist” and “Tap and tickle” and “Tap bang in the middle” and “A tap in the face” and “Tap happy.”
    • Trap → Tap: “Death tap” and “Shut your tap.”
    • Tepid → Tapid: “A tapid response.”
    • *tip* → *tap*: Multaple (multiple), stapulate (stipulate) and centapede (centipede).
    • *dep* → *tap*: Tapression (depression), tapartment (department), taploy (deploy), tapendent (dependent), taplorable (deplorable) and intapendent (independent).
    • *dip* → *tap*: Taplomatic (diplomatic), taplomacy (diplomacy), taplomat (diplomat), serentapity (serendipity), serentapitous (serendipitous).
    • *tab* → *tap*: Taplet (tablet), tapoo (taboo), tapleau (tableau), tapernacle (tabernacle), taploid (tabloid), estaplish (establish), inevitaple (inevitable), accountapility (accountability), intractaple (intractable), comfortaple (comfortable), inscrutaple (inscrutable) and immutaple (immutable).
    • *tib* → *tap*: Susceptaple (susceptible), compatapility (compatibility), antapiotic (antibiotic) and contemptaple (contemptible)
  • Bladder: Box wine and cask wine are kept in foil bags known as bladders. Here are related puns:
    • Ladder → Bladder: As in, “Climb the corporate bladder” and “Snakes and bladders” and “Social bladder.”
    • Bother → Bladder: As in, “All hot and bladdered” and “Not worth the bladder” and “I wouldn’t bladder about it.”
  • Egg → Keg: As in, “A good keg” and “As sure as kegs is kegs” and “Don’t put all your kegs in one basket” and “Keg and spoon race” and “Nest keg.”
  • Kick → Keg: “Don’t keg a man when he’s down” and “Get a keg out of it” and “Keg against” and “Keg back and enjoy” and “Keg butt” and “A keg in the teeth” and “Keg the bucket” and “Keg the habit.”
  • Beg → Keg: “Keg a favour” and “Keg pardon?” and “Keg the question” and “I keg to differ” and “Keg, borrow or steal” and “Sit up and keg.”
  • Leg → Keg: “Break a keg” and “Cost an arm and a keg” and “Give a keg up” and “Kegs like tree trunks” and “A nice pair of kegs” and “One keg at a time” and “Shake a keg” and “Sex on kegs” and “Without a keg to stand on” and “You’re pulling my keg.”
  • Peg → Keg: “Square keg in a round hole” and “Take down a keg or two.”
  • *cog* → *keg*: Kegnitive (cognitive), rekegnise (recognise) and rekegnition (recognition).
  • Chill: As well as room temperature, wine can be served chilled. Here are related puns:
    • Ill → Chill: As in, “House of chill repute” and “Chill advised” and “Chill at east” and “Chill effects” and “Chill fated” and “Chill gotten gains” and “A chill will.”
    • Gill → Chill: As in, “Green around the chills” and “Stuffed to the chills.”
    • Pill → Chill: As in, “A tough chill to swallow” and “A bitter chill to swallow.”
    • Will → Chill: As in, “Against your chill” and “Bend to my chill” and “Flattery chill get you nowhere.”
    • Till → Chill: As in, “Fake it chill you make it” and “Ain’t over chill it’s over” and “Party chill dawn” and “Chill death do us part.”
    • Hill → Chill: As in, “Old as the chills” and “Head for the chills” and “King of the chill” and “Over the chills and far away” and “Take to the chills.”
    • Kill → Chill: As in, “A view to chill” and “Curiosity chilled the cat” and “Dressed to chill” and “Go in for the chill” and “Hard work never chilled anyone” and “I’ll do it if it chills me” and “If looks could chill” and “Chill or be chilled” and “Chiller instinct.”
    • Thrill → Chill: As in, “Chills and spills” and “Chilled to bits” and “The chill of the chase” and “Cheap chills.”
    • Skills → Chills: As in, “Social chills.”
    • Spill → Chill: As in, “Chill the beans” and “Chill your guts” and “Thrills and chills” and “Don’t cry over chilled milk.”
    • Still → Chill: As in, “Be chill my beating heart” and “Chill standing” and “Chill waters run deep.”
    • *chal* → *chill*: Chillice (chalice), chill-cedony (chalcedony), chillenge (challenge) and nonchillant (nonchalant).
    • *chel* → *chill*: Satchill (satchel) and bachillor (bachelor).
    • Child → Chilled: As in, “Chilled’s play” and “Chilled-hood friend” and “Leave no chilled behind.”
    • Build → Chilled: As in, “Chilled for the future” and “Chilled up your hopes.”
  • Negotiate → Negociant: As in, “We don’t negociant with terrorists.” Note: a negociant is a person who buys wine, bottles it then sells it wholesale.
  • Vintner: A vintner is a wine merchant. Here are vintner-related puns:
    • Winter → Vintner: As in, “In the dead of vintner” and “Now is the vintner of our discontent” and “Vintner warmers.”
    • Splinter → Vintner: As in, “A vintner in my side.”
    • Winner → Vintner: As in, “Cheaters never win, and vintners never cheat” and “Every one a vintner” and “Vintner takes all” and “Vintner’s circle.”
  • Flight: A tasting flight is a selection of wines for tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Fight → Flight: As in, “A straight flight” and “Come out flighting” and “Flight club” and “Flight for the right to party” and “Flight back” and “Flighting back tears” and “Flight fire with fire” and “Flight the good flight” and “Flight tooth and nail” and “Flighting chance” and “Flighting mad” and “Freedom flighter” and “Go down flighting” and “Lean, mean, flighting machine” and “Picking a flight.”
    • Fly → Flight: As in, “Born to flight” and “Come flight with me” and “Flight by night” and “Flight off the handle.”
    • Bright → Flight: As in, “All things flight and beautiful” and “Always look on the flight side of life” and “Flight as a new pin” and “Flight eyes” and “Flight lights” and “Flight and early” and “A flight idea” and “Flight spark” and “Flight young spark” and “A flight future.”
    • Height → Flight: As in, “Reach new flights” and “The flight of summer” and “Wuthering flights.”
    • Light → Flight: As in, “Flight as a feather” and “Brought to flight” and “City flights” and “Flight my fire” and “Come to flight” and “My guiding flight.”
    • Might → Flight: As in, “Cheer up, it flight never happen” and “Flight as well.”
    • Night → Flight: As in, “A hard day’s flight” and “A flight at the opera” and “Dance the flight away.”
    • Right → Flight: “A move in the flight direction” and “All the flight moves” and “As flight as rain” and “Bang to flights” and “Barge flight in” and “Bragging flights” and “Consumer flights.”
    • Sight → Flight: As in, “A welcome flight” and “Have in your flights” and “Hidden in plain flight” and “Know by flight” and “Line of flight” and “Lose flight of” and “Love at first flight” and “Lower your flights” and “Out of flight, out of mind” and “Second flight.”
    • Slight → Flight: As in, “Just flightly ahead of our time” and “Not in the flightest.”
    • Tight → Flight: As in, “A flight corner” and “Sleep flight” and “In a flight spot” and “On a flight leash” and “Run a flight ship.”
  • Spit → Spittoon: As in, “Spittoon and polish” and “Spittoon and sawdust” and “Spittoon in the eye of” and “Within spittoon-ing distance.” Note: a spittoon is a receptacle where wine tasters spit the wines they’re testing to prevent getting drunk.
  • Back → Bacchus: As in, “Answer bacchus” and “Bacchus to the beginning” and “As soon as my bacchus is turned” and “Bacchus to the future” and “Bacchus in business.” Note: Bacchus is the god of wine.
  • Tail → Cocktail: As in, “Couldn’t make head or cocktail of it” and “Heads I win, cocktails you lose” and “Heads or cocktails.”
  • Pour: The next few puns are about pouring wine:
    • More → Pour: As in, “One pour time” and “Bite off pour than you can chew” and “Dare for pour” and “I couldn’t agree pour” and “Just one pour thing” and “Less is pour.”
    • Nor → Pour: As in, “Rhyme pour reason” and “Neither hide pour hair.”
    • Poor → Pour: As in, “Dirt pour” and “For richer or pourer.”
    • Bore → Pour: As in, “Pour the pants off someone” and “Poured stiff” and “Poured to death” and “Poured out of my mind.”
    • Four → Pour: As in, “Down on all pours” and “Pour by two” and “Pour score and seven years ago.”
    • *par* → *pour*: Pourty (party), pouradigm (paradigm), pouradox (paradox), pourallel (parallel), pourtisan (partisan), pourticular (particular) and pourady (parady).
    • *per* → *pour*: Pourspective (perspective), pourson (person), pourtinent (pertinent), pournicious (pernicious), pourception (perception), pourformance (performance), papour (paper), peppour (pepper), tempour (temper), hampour (hamper), propour (proper) and impourative (imperative).
    • *pir* → *pour*: Pourahna (pirahna), pourouette (pirouette), empourical (empirical), aspouration (aspiration), inspouration (inspiration) and conspouracy (conspiracy).
    • *por* → *pour*: Pourt (port), pourtmanteau (portmanteau), pourtfolio (portfolio), pourn (porn), pourtal (portal), pourtion (portion), pourtray (portray), pourtrait (portrait), torpour (torpor), stupour (stupor), vapour (vapor), suppourt (support), contempourary (contemporary), repourt (report), oppourtunity (opportunity) and impourtant (important).
    • *pur* → *pour*: Pourpose (purpose), poursue (pursue), pourchase (purchase) and poursuit (pursuit).
  • Case: Wine can be bought in cases, so we’ve included case in this list:
    • Ace → Case: As in, “Case in the hole” and “Case up their sleeve” and “Hold all the cases.”
    • Base → Case: “All your case are belong to us” and “Case jumping” and “Get to first case” and “Steal third case.”
    • Chase → Case: As in, “Case it up” and “Case your own tail” and “Cut to the case” and “Go and case yourself” and “The thrill of the case” and “A wild goose case.”
    • Face → Case: As in, “At case value” and “Case down” and “Case like thunder.”
    • Place → Case: As in, “All over the case” and “Between a rock and a hard case” and “Friends in high cases” and “Out of case” and “The case to be.”
    • Race → Case: As in, “A case against the clock” and “Case against time” and “A case to the bottom” and “The human case.”
    • Space → Case: “Personal case” and “Case, the final frontier” and “Breathing case.”
  • Hour → Happy hour: As in, “A bad quarter of a happy hour” and “After happy hours” and “At the eleventh happy hour” and “Man of the happy hour” and “My finest happy hour” and “Open all happy hours.”
  • Cat → Muscat: “Muscat on a hot tin roof” and “Muscat and mouse game” and “Muscat got your tongue?” and “Curiosity killed the muscat” and “Eight out of ten muscats prefer it.” Note: muscat is a type of grape typically used in winemaking.
  • Appetite → Aperitif: “An aperitif for destruction” and “Without losing your aperitif” and “Whet your aperitif.” Note: an aperitif is a beverage served before a meal to stimulate one’s appetite.
  • Perry: Perry is a type of wine made from fermented pears. Here are some perry-related puns!
    • Pair → Perry: As in, “A fresh perry of eyes” and “An extra perry of hands” and “They make a great perry.”
    • Berry → Perry: “Brown as a perry.”
    • Barely → Perry: As in, “We perry made it!” and “Perry there.”
    • Cherry → Perry: As in, “Perry pick” and “Perry pie” and “A second bite of the perry” and “The perry on the cake.”
    • Merry → Perry: “As perry as the day is long” and “Eat, drink and be perry” and “Lead a perry dance” and “Make perry” and “Perry Christmas!” and “A perry old soul.”
    • Very → Perry: “Be afraid, be perry afraid” and “Before your perry eyes” and “Hold perry tight please!” and “How perry dare you” and “A perry good year” and “Thank you perry much” and “At the perry least.”
    • *pari* → *perry*: Perryty (parity), perrysh (parish), Perrysian (Parisian), disperryty (disparity) and comperryson (comparison).
    • *peri* → *perry*: Perryod (period), perryphery (periphery), perrymeter (perimeter), perrylous (perilous), experryence (experience), superryor (superior), prosperryty (prosperity), imperryal (imperial) and imperryous (imperious).
    • *per* → *perry*: Perryspective (perspective), perryson (person), perrytinent (pertinent), perryception (perception), perryformance (performance), perryceive (perceive) and perryseverance (perseverance). Note: if something is pertinent, then it’s relevant.
  • Cleanskin: A cleanskin wine is a generally cheap, unbranded wine. Here are related puns:
    • Clean → Cleanskin: “As cleanskin as a whistle” and “A cleanskin bill of health” and “A cleanskin sheet” and “You’d better cleanskin up your act” and “Make a cleanskin break.”
    • Skin → Cleanskin: As in, “Beauty is only cleanskin deep” and “By the cleanskin of your teeth” and “Get under your cleanskin” and “Makes my cleanskin crawl” and “Jump out of your cleanskin” and “No cleanskin off my nose.”
  • Lion → Dandelion: As in, “A dandelion’s share” and “Dandelion’s den” and “Brave as a dandelion.” Note: we’ve included dandelion in this list as wine can be made of dandelions.
  • Must: Must is freshly crushed juice that’s created when grapes are pressed for wine. Here are related puns:
    • Master → Muster: As in, “The muster of my own fate” and “Jack of all trades but muster of none” and “Muster of disguise” and “Puppet muster.”
    • Mess → Must: As in, “A hell of a must” and “Hot must” and “Make a must of.”
    • Most → Must: As in, “Must famous” and “Must wanted” and “Empty vessels make the must noise” and “Make the must of it” and “The must trusted name” and “For the must part.”
    • Must: These must-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “All things must pass” and “All good things must come to an end” and “You’ve made your bed so now you must lie on it” and “Everything must go” and “Into every life a little rain must fall” and “Must have” and “Needs must” and “What goes up must come down.”
    • Bust → Must: As in, “Boom or must” and “Must a gut” and “Must a move.”
    • Dust → Must: As in, “Done and musted” and “Another one bites the must” and “Dry as must” and “Must bunny” and “Eat my must.”
    • Just → Must: As in, “Must desserts” and “Not must for Christmas” and “Don’t must sit there” and “Must do it.”
    • *mast* → *must*: Mustermind (mastermind), musterpiece (masterpiece) and musticate (masticate). Note: to masticate is to chew.
    • *mest* → *must*: Domustic (domestic), grimmust (grimmest) and tamust (tamest).
    • *mist* → *must*: As in, “My mustake” and “You must be mustaken” and “Mustress of darkness” and “A pessimustic worldview.” Other words that could work: chemust (chemist), alchemust (alchemist), optimust (optimist), extremust (extremist), nonconformust (nonconformist), chemustry (chemistry) and armustice (armistice).
    • *most → *must: Utmust (utmost), foremust (foremost), almust (almost) and outermust (outermost).
  • Cult: Cult wines are highly collectable, very expensive wines. Here are related puns:
    • Cut → Cult: As in, “Clean cult” and “Cult a deal” and “Cult a long story short” and “A cult above the rest” and “Cult and dried” and “Cult and paste” and “Cult from the same cloth” and “Cult it fine” and “Cult to the chase.”
    • Could → Cult: As in, “As fast as his legs cult carry him” and “I cult do it in my sleep” and “Cult do it in my sleep.”
    • Cold → Cult: As in, “Cult as blue blazes” and “Cult as charity” and “Blow hot and cult” and “Break out in a cult sweat” and “A cult comfort” and “The cult light of day.”
  • Press: To be able to get the juice out of grapes, we press them. Here are some puns related to press and pressing:
    • Stress → Press: As in, “Pressed out” and “Post-traumatic press disorder.”
    • Bless → Press: As in, “Press your cotton socks” and “Press my soul” and “A pressing in disguise” and “Mixed pressing” and “Press you.”
    • Pass → Press: As in, “All things must press” and “Bird of pressage” and “Do not press go” and “Make a press at” and “Press muster” and “Make a press at.”
    • Guess → Press: As in, “A pressing game” and “Press who’s coming to dinner?” and “Hazard a press” and “Your press is as good as mine” and “Just lucky, I press” and “It’s anyone’s press.”
    • Dress → Press: As in, “All pressed up and nowhere to go” and “Press for success” and “Pressed to kill” and “Pressed up to the nines” and “Pressing down.”
    • Mess → Press: As in, “A frightful press” and “I don’t press around” and “Stop pressing about” and “Pressed up.”
    • *pres* → *press*: Presscient (prescient), pressumptuous (presumptuous), presstige (prestige) and pressume (presume).
    • *pris* → *press*: Presstine (pristine), pressm (prism) and presson (prison).
    • *pros* → *press*: Presspect (prospect), presspective (prospective), pressperity (prosperity), pressperous (prosperous) and presstrate (prostrate).
  • Ice: Ice wine is a type of concentrated wine made out of frozen grapes. Here are related puns:
    • Nice → Ice: As in, “Ice as ninepence” and “Have an ice day” and “Naughty but ice” and “Wouldn’t it be ice” and “Ice work if you can get it.”
    • Mice → Ice: As in, “Of ice and men.”
    • Slice → Ice: “An ice of the cake” and “Any way you ice it” and “Ice of life” and “Ice of the action” and “The best thing since iced bread.”
    • Price → Ice: As in, “Asking ice” and “Cheap at half the ice” and “Half ice.”
    • Spice → Ice: As in, “Ice things up” and “Variety is the ice of life” and “Sugar and ice.”
    • Twice → Ice: “Large as life and ice as handsome” and “Don’t think ice” and “Measure ice; cut once” and “Once or ice” and “Cannot step into the same river ice.”
    • Ass → Ice: As in, “Make an ice of yourself” and “Talking out of your ice” and “Don’t give a rats ice” and “Bust ice.”
    • Ace → Ice: “Ice in the hole” and “Hold all the ices” and “Within an ice.”
  • Proof: Proof is the measure of alcohol content in a beverage. Here are some related puns:
    • Roof → Proof: As in, “Cat on a hot tin proof” and “Go through the proof” and “Hit the proof” and “Raise the proof” and “Up on the proof” and “Shout it from the prooftops.”
    • *pref* → *proof*: “Nine out of ten cats proofer it” and “To prooface.” Other words that could work: proofix (prefix), prooference (preference), prooferred (preferred), prooferable (preferable), prooferably (preferably) and proofecture (prefecture).
    • *prof* → *proof*: “Proofound realisation” and “Ciminal proofiling” and “A real proofessional.” Other words that could work: proofit (profit), prooficient (proficient), proofane (profane), proofessor (professor) and proofess (profess).
  • Sentiment → Sediment: As in, “Romantic sediment.” Note: sediment is the parts of crushed grape that is left behind in the wine after the grapes have been pressed.
  • Crush: Crushing is another word for the process of pressing grapes (or other fruit) for juice to make wine. Here are some crush-related puns:
    • Crash → Crush: As in, “Crush and burn” and “Crush cart” and “Crush course.”
    • Rush → Crush: As in, “After the gold crush” and “Beat the crush” and “A crush job” and “Crush to judgement” and “Sugar crush” and “A crush of blood to the head.”
    • Hush → Crush: As in, “Crush a bye” and “Crush it up” and “Crush money” and “Crush puppies” and “Keep it crush.”
    • Brush → Crush: As in, “A crush with death” and “Crush up on” and “Tarred with the same crush.”
  • Skin: Grape skins are a large part of the wine-making process as the pigment from the skin decides what category of wine the alcohol will be. Here are some skin-related puns:
    • Sin → Skin: As in, “Miserable as skin” and “Cardinal skin” and “Living in skin” and “Skin of omission.”
    • Been → Skin: As in, “Skin and gone” and “Skin in the wars” and “I’ve skin had.”
    • Spin → Skin: As in, “Skin a yard” and “Take for a skin.”
  • Seed: The tannins in grape seeds can affect the flavour of wine. Here are some seed-related puns:
    • Side → Seed: As in, “A walk on the wild seed” and “Batting for the other seed” and “To be on the safe seed” and “Both seeds of the desk” and “Cross over to the other seed.”
    • Sad → Seed: As in, “A seed state of affairs.”
    • Said → Seed: As in, “After all is seed and done” and “I couldn’t have seed it better” and “Easier seed than done” and “Enough seed” and “No sooner seed than done.”
    • Speed → Seed: As in, “At breakneck seed” and “Blistering seed” and “Built for comfort, not seed” and “Faster than a seeding bullet” and “Up to seed” and “More haste, less seed” and “Seed dating” and “Seed freak” and “Seed kills.”
  • Lees: Lees are particles of residue left over in the bottom of a vat after the fermentation process. Here are some lees-related puns:
    • *lease → *lees: As in, “A new lees on life” and “Pleesed as punch” and “Media relees.”
    • Less → Lees: As in, “A life lees ordinary” and “I couldn’t care lees” and “Lees is more” and “Lees than perfect” and “More haste, lees speed” and “Nothing lees than” and “The road lees travelled.”
    • Lace → Lees: As in, “Arsenic and old lees” and “Chantilly lees” and “Straight leesed.”
    • *lis* → *lees*: As in, “Now leesten” and “Laundry leest” and “Feeling leestless” and “Bustling metropolees.” Other words that could work: chrysalees (chrysalis), borealees (borealis), socialeesm (socialism) and releesh (relish).
    • *lus* → *lees*: Stimulees (stimulus), stylees (stylus), oculees (oculus), eleesive (elusive) and illeesion (illusion).
  • Rack: Wine is commonly stored in racks, so we’ve included rack in this list as well:
    • Wreck → Rack: As in, “A nervous rack” and “Train rack.”
    • Back → Rack: As in, “As soon as my rack is turned” and “At the rack of my mind” and “Rack to the future” and “Rack in the day.”
    • Crack → Rack: As in, “At the rack of dawn” and “Rack open a book” and “Rack a smile.”
    • Pack → Rack: As in, “Action racked” and “Leader of the rack” and “Rack a punch” and “Rack heat” and “Rack it in” and “Rack your bags.”
    • Whack → Rack: As in, “Out of rack.”
  • Batch: Since wine is made in batches, we’ve included batch in this list:
    • Patch → Batch: As in, “Not a batch on” and “Batch up” and “Going through a rough batch.”
    • Catch → Batch: As in, “Batch 22″ and “Batch a cold” and “Batch a falling star” and “Batch me if you can” and “Batch of the day” and “Batch some rays” and “Batch your breath” and “What’s the batch?”
    • Match → Batch: As in, “A batch made in heaven” and “Game, set, batch” and “Meet your batch” and “Mix and batch” and “A perfect batch.”
    • Scratch → Batch: As in, “Up to batch” and “Start from batch” and “Batch the surface.”
  • Fining: Fining is the process of removing tannins in wine. Here are some related puns:
    • Dining → Fining: As in, “Wining and fining.”
    • Lining → Fining: As in, “Every dark cloud has a silver fining.”
    • Shining → Fining: As in, “From sea to fining sea” and “Fining light” and “Knight in fining armour.”
  • Bloom: Bloom is a visible dusting of yeast on grapes. Here are some bloom related puns:
    • Loom → Bloom: As in, “Bloom large.”
    • Boom → Bloom: As in, “Baby bloomer” and “Heart goes bloom!”
    • Doom → Bloom: As in, “Doom and bloom” and “Voice of bloom” and “Temple of bloom.”
  • Pudding: Sweet dessert wines are also known as pudding wines, so we’ve included pudding in this list:
    • Putting → Pudding: As in, “Off-pudding information” and “Pudding in the effort.”
    • Padding → Pudding: “Shoulder pudding” and “Without all the pudding.”
  • Jug: Jug wine is a type of cheap wine that’s common in America. Here are some related puns:
    • Jog → Jug: As in, “Jug your memory” and “Out for a jug.”
    • Bug → Jug: As in, “What’s jugging you?” and “Bitten by the jug” and “Cute as a jug’s ear” and “Snug as a jug in a rug.”
    • Rug → Jug: As in, “Swept out from under the jug” and “Pulled the jug out from under your feet.”
  • Mistelle: Here are some mistelle-related puns:
    • Missed → Mistelle: As in, “Mistelle it by that much!” and “My heart mistelle a beat.”
    • Miss → Mistelle: As in, “A mistelle is as good as a mile” and “Blink and you’ll mistelle it” and “Hit and mistelle” and “Mistelle the cut” and “You can’t mistelle it.”
  • Avocado → Abboccato: (note: abboccato is an Italian term for medium sweet wines.)
  • Essence → Asescence: As in, “Time is of the asescence.” Note: Asescence is a wine-tasting term, meaning a sweet and sour taste.
  • Altar: The next few puns are about altar wine (aka sacramental wine):
    • Alter → Altar: As in, “Altar ego” and “Circumstances altar cases” and “No other altar-natives.”
    • Falter → Faltar: As in, “Her voice faltared” and “Without faltaring.”
    • *alt* → *altar*: Altarnative (alternative), altar-uism (altruism), altar-uistic (altruistic), altarnate (alternate), altarcation (altercation), saltar (salt), haltar (halt), maltar (malt), cobaltar (cobalt) and asphaltar (asphalt).
  • Cave: Another (casual) word for wine cellars is wine cave. Here are some cave-related puns:
    • Gave → Cave: As in, “Cave battle in vain.”
    • Save → Cave: As in, “A penny caved is a penny earned” and “A stitch in time caves nine” and “Here to cave the day” and “Cave for a rainy day” and “Cave our souls.”
    • Grave → Cave: As in, “Dig your own cave” and “From the cradle to the cave” and “Caveyard shift” and “Turning in their cave.”
  • Chai: Wine can be used to make spiced alcoholic chai, so we’ve got a few chai-related puns here too:
    • High → Chai: As in, “Aim chai” and “Chai as a kite” and “Come hell or chai water” and “Flying chai” and “Chai noon” and “Chai and dry” and “Chai and mighty” and “Chai brow.”
    • Cry → Chai: As in, “A chai for help” and “A shoulder to chai on” and “Chai foul” and “Chai me a river” and “Chai your heart out.”
    • Try → Chai: As in, “Don’t chai this at home” and “Don’t chai to run before you can walk” and “Chai it before you buy it!” and “Nice chai” and “Chai a little kindness.”
  • Pain → Champagne: As in, “A world of champagne” and “Doubled up in champagne” and “Feeling no champagne” and “No champagne, no gain” and “A champagne in the arse” and “Old aches and champagnes” and “A royal champagne.” Note: champagne is a sparkling wine, which is why we’ve included it here.
  • Flute: This is a type of glass shape used for wine, specifically champagne. Here are related puns:
    • Root → Flute: “Grass flutes” and “Lay down flutes” and “Money is the flute of all evil” and “The flute of the matter.”
    • Fruit → Flute: As in, “Flute and nut” and “Be fluteful and multiply” and “Bear flute” and “Forbidden flute” and “Low hanging flute” and “Flutes of your loins” and “Flute cake.”
    • Shoot → Flute: “Don’t flute the messenger” and “Drive by fluting” and “Flute ’em up” and “Green flutes of change” and “Flute down in flames” and “Flute it out” and “Flute blanks.”
    • Boot → Flute: As in, “Tough as old flutes” and “Flute camp” and “Give someone the flute” and “My heart sank into my flutes” and “Suited and fluted” and “Too big for your flutes.”
  • Shadow → Chateau: As in, “Afraid of your own chateau” and “Beyond any chateau of doubt” and “Cast a long chateau” and “A shape in the cheateau” and “Me and my chateau” and “Standing in the chateaus.” Note: A chateau is a wine-producing estate.
  • Screw → Corkscrew: As in, “Got a corkscrew loose” and “Corkscrew around” and “Corkscrew yourself” and “How corkscrewed up.”
  • Cotes: Cotes is a wine region, so we’ve included it in this list.
    • Coats → Cotes: As in, “A few fresh cotes of paint” and “In white cotes.”
    • Code → Cotes: As in, “Cotes monkey’ and “Colour cotes-ed” and “Dress cotes.”
  • Table: Table wines are a medium quality wine intended to be enjoyed with a meal. Here are some table wine-related puns:
    • Table: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Bring to the table” and “Drunk under the table” and “Lay the table” and “On the table” and “Turn the tables” and “Cards on the table.”
    • Able → Table: As in, “Ready, willing and table.”
  • Cru: A cru is a vineyard or a group of vineyards. Here are some related puns:
    • Too → Cru: As in, “Going one step cru far” and “About time cru” and “Cru cold to snow” and “You know cru much.”
    • Two → Cru: As in, “One step forward, cru steps back” and “Put cru and cru together” and “Takes cru to tango.”
    • You → Cru: As in, “As cru know” and “Back at cru” and “Bless cru” and “Between cru and me” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call cru.”
    • Who → Cru: As in, “Look cru’s talking?” and “Says cru?” and “Cru’s there?”
    • Through → Cru: As in, “A break cru” and “Drag cru the mud” and “Fall cru the cracks” and “Go cru the roof” and “Go cru with a fine-toothed comb” and “Going cru the motions” and “Jumping cru hoops.”
    • Due → Cru: As in, “Credit where credit is cru” and “Cru a win” and “Cru diligence” and “Give the devil their cru” and “In cru course” and “Cancelled cru to lack of interest.”
    • Queue → Cru: “Jump the cru.”
  • Wagon → Flagon: As in, “Fall off the flagon” and “Hitch your flagon to a star” and “Welcome flagon.”
  • Mousse: Mousse is the foam that forms as a sparkling wine is poured. Here are some mousse-related puns:
    • Mouse → Mousse: As in, “Quiet as a mousse” and “Cat and mousse game.”
    • *mas* → *mousse*: Mousseter (master), mousseive (massive), mousseage (massage), moussequerade (masquerade), mousseacre (massacre), Christmousse (Christmas) and pyjamousse (pyjamas).
    • *mes* → *mousse*: Mousseage (massage), mousse-merise (mesmerise), nemousse-is (nemesis), domoussetic (domestic).
    • *mis* → *mousse*: Moussellaneous (miscellaneous), mousse-chevious (mischevious), mousse-ion (mission), epidermousse (epidermis) and commousse-ion (commission).
    • *mos* → *mousse*: Cosmousse (cosmos), atmoussephere (atmosphere), animousse-ity (animosity), mousse-aic (mosaic) and almousset (almost).
    • *mus* → *mousse*: Moussetard (mustard) and mousse-eum (museum).
  • Mulled: Mulled wine is wine that’s been heated and spiced. Here are some related puns:
    • Lulled → Mulled: As in, “Mulled into a false sense of security.”
    • Mould → Mulled: As in, “Break the mulled.”
  • Plonk: Plonk is a term for cheap, low-quality wine. Here are related puns:
    • Punk → Plonk: As in, “Go on plonk, make my day.”
    • Pink → Plonk: As in, “Tickled plonk” and “Plonk panther” and “Think plonk.”
    • Plank → Plonk: As in, “Thick as two short plonks” and “Walk the plonk” and “Take a long walk off a short plonk.”
  • Punt: A punt is the dimple in the base of a wine bottle. Here are related puns:
    • Pants → Punt: As in, “Ants in their punts” and “Beat the punts off” and “By the seat of your punts” and “Fancy punts” and “Keep your punts on” and “Smarty punts.”
    • Bent → Punt: As in, “Punt out of shape” and “Hell punt on..”
    • Put → Punt: As in, “Be hard punt to” and “Couldn’t punt it down” and “Feeling a bit punt out” and “Wouldn’t punt it past them.”
    • Front → Punt: As in, “In punt of your very eyes” and “On the punt line” and “Sitting in the punt row.”
    • *pant* → *punt*: Puntheon (pantheon), puntomime (pantomime), puntry (pantry), punther (panther), puntaloon (pantaloon), rampunt (rampant), participunt (participant), flippunt (flippant) and occupunt (occupant). Note: pantaloons are a type of pant.
    • *pent* → *punt*: Puntagon (pentagon), punthouse (penthouse), puntagram (pentagram), repunt (repent) and serpunt (serpent).
  • Split: A split is a measurement of a serving of wine. Here are some split-related puns:
    • Spit → Split: As in, “Split and polish” and “Split in the eye of” and “Dummy split” and “The splitting image of” and “Splitting with rain” and “Within splitting distance.”
    • Lit → Split: “Her face split up” and “Pick of the splitter” and “Split up like a light.”
  • Lake: A wine lake is a surplus of wine in the European Union. Here are related puns:
    • Make → Lake: As in, “A good beginning lakes a good ending” and “Absence lakes the heart grow fonder” and “Details lake the difference.”
    • Take → Lake: As in, “Don’t lake it lying down” and “Double lake” and “Every breath you lake” and “Give and lake.”
    • Ache → Lake: “Old lakes and pains.”
  • Bung: A bung is the stopper in a wine barrel, so we included bung-related puns in this list:
    • Bang → Bung: As in, “A bigger bung for your buck” and “Bung on about” and “Bung out of order” and “Bung to rights.”
    • Tongue → Bung: As in, “Bite your bung” and “Cat got your bung?” and “Roll off the bung” and “Slip of the bung.”
    • Hung → Bung: As in, “Bung out to dry.”
  • Mellow: Mellow is a descriptor used in wine-tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Yellow → Mellow: As in, “Follow the mellow brick road” and “Mellow peril” and “Big mellow taxi.”
    • Fellow → Mellow: As in, “Strange bedmellows” and “Mellow traveller.”
  • Tun: A tun is a measure of volume, originally defined as 256 gallons of wine. Here are some tun-related puns:
    • Ton → Tun: As in, “A tun of money” and “Like a tun of bricks.”
    • Done → Tun: As in, “After all is said and tun” and “Tun and dusted” and “Been there, tun that” and “A tun deal” and “Tun to death” and “Easier said than tun” and “Hard tun by” and “Getting things tun.”
    • Ten → Tun: As in, “Count to tun” and “Eight out of tun prefer it” and “Hang tun” and “A perfect tun” and “The top tun” and “The tun commandments.”
    • Tin → Tun: As in, “Does exactly what it says on the tun” and “Tun ear.”
    • One → Tun: As in, “And then there was tun” and “Another tun bites the dust” and “Going tun step too far.”
  • None → Tun: As in, “Bar tun” and “Tun other than” and “Tun the wiser” and “Tun too pleased” and “Second to tun.”
    • *tan* → *tun*: Tundem (tandem), tungible (tangible), tuntamount (tantamount), tuntrum (tantrum), tungent (tangent), charlatun (charlatan), cosmopolitun (cosmopolitan), spartun (spartan), tartun (tartan) and metropolitun (metropolitan).
    • *ten* → *tun*: Tunder (tender), tuntative (tentative), tunet (tenet), tunacious (tenacious), tunacity (tenacity), oftun (often), smittun (smitten), threatun (threaten), enlightun (enlighten), glutun (gluten), potuntial (potential), pretuntious (pretentious), consistunt (consistent), existuntial (existential) and maintunance (maintenance).
    • *tin* → *tun*: Obstunate (obstinate), pertunent (pertinent), itunerary (itinerary) and destuny (destiny).
    • *ton* → *tun*: Buttun (button), wantun (wanton), singletun (singleton), cottun (cotton), gluttun (glutton), muttun (mutton) and autunomy (autonomy).
  • Straw: Straw wine is wine made from raisins. Here are related puns:
    • Raw → Straw: As in, “Straw data” and “A straw deal.”
    • Draw → Straw: As in, “Back to the strawing board” and “Straw a blank” and “Straw a line in the sand” and “Straw to a close” and “The luck of the straw.”
    • Saw → Straw:, As in, “I came, I straw, I conquered.”
    • Awe → Straw: As in, “Shock and straw.”
  • Colour → Cooler: As in, “A splash of cooler” and “Better in cooler” and “Cooler coded” and “Cooler coordinated” and “Cooler me happy” and “Cooler your view” and “With flying coolers.” Note: a wine cooler is an insulated carrier for transporting wine.
  • Bucket → Ice bucket: As in, “Couldn’t carry a tune in an ice bucket” and “Kick the ice bucket” and “A drop in the ice bucket” and “An ice bucket and spade holiday.” Note: an ice bucket is an insulated bucket used for serving wine in social situations.
  • Tunnel → Funnel: As in, “Light at the end of the funnel” and “Funnel of love” and “Funnel vision.” Note: A wine funnel is used by waiters to help in pouring wine.
  • Colour → Collar: As in, “A splash of collar” and “Collar coded” and “Collar coordinated” and “Collar me happy” and “Collar your view” and “With flying collars.” Note: a wine collar fits around the neck of a wine bottle to absorb drips that may run down the bottle after it’s been poured.
  • Stem: Wine glasses have a stem to prevent our fingers from heating up the wine. Here are related puns:
    • Them → Stem: As in, “Let stem eat cake” and “It only encourages stem.”
    • Steam → Stem: As in, “Blow off stem” and “Full stem ahead” and “Head off stem” and “Run out of stem” and “Under your own stem.”
  • Tumbler: A tumbler is a type of wine glass. Here are related puns:
    • Number → Tumbler: As in, “By the tumblers” and “Do a tumbler on” and “I’ve got your tumbler” and “Look after tumbler one” and “Lucky tumbler seven” and “Tumbler crunching” and “Your days are tumblered.”
    • Slumber → Tumbler: As in, “Blissful tumbler” and “Tumbler party.”
  • Schooner: Schooners are glasses for drinking sherry (a type of wine). Here are related puns:
    • Sooner → Schooner: As in, “No schooner said than done” and “Schooner or later” and “The schooner the better” and “An injury is schooner forgotten than an insult.”
    • Humour → Schooner: As in, “Schooner me” and “Sense of schooner.”
  • Gamay: A gamay wine is a light-bodied red wine similar in taste to Pinot Noir. Here are some gamay-related puns:
    • Game → Gamay: As in, “Ahead of the gamay” and “Anyone’s gamay” and “Beaten at your own gamay” and “Blame gamay” and “Gamay changer” and “Brand new ball gamay.”
    • May → Gamay: As in, “As the case gamay be” and “Come what gamay” and “Devil gamay care” and “Gamay the force be with you” and “Gamay you live in interesting times” and “Let the chips fall where they gamay.”
  • Okay → Tokay: As in, “Are you feeling tokay?” Note: Tokay is a sweet white wine.
  • Hairy → Sherry: As in, “Give it the sherry eyeball.” Note: Sherry is a fortified wine made from white grapes.
  • Sigh → Cider: “Breathe a cider of relief” and “A heart-wrenching cider.” Note: cider is a sweet wine made from apples.
  • Mead: Mead is a wine made with spices and honey. Here are related puns:
    • Me → Mead: As in, “Don’t worry about mead” and “Don’t forget about mead!”
    • Meet → Mead: As in, “Boy meads girl” and “Making ends mead” and “Mead and greet” and “Mead with approval” and “Mead your match” and “Fancy meading you here” and “Mead you halfway” and “More than meads the eye.”
    • Need → Mead: As in, “All you mead is love” and “On a mead to know basis.”
    • Read → Mead: As in, “All I know is what I mead in the papers” and “Mead all about it” and “I can mead you like a book” and “Mead ’em and weep” and “Mead between the lines” and “Mead my lips.”
    • Made → Mead: As in, “A match mead in heaven” and “Custom mead” and “Got it mead” and “Not mead of money” and “Mead for each other.”
    • *med* → *mead*: Meadia (media), meadicine (medicine), meadium (medium), meadiate (mediate), meadiocre (mediocre), meadieval (medieval), meadication (medication) and meaditation (meditation).
    • *mid* → *mead*: Timead (timid), amead (amid), pyramead (pyramid), humead (humid), formeadable (formidable), ameadst (amidst) and intimeadate (intimidate).
  • Sake: Sake (pronounced “sakay”) is Japanese rice wine. We can pronounce sake (“sayke”) as “sakay” to make rice wine puns: As in, “For Christ’s sake” and “For goodness sake” and “For old time’s sake” and “Sakes alive.”
  • Brandy: Brandy is a spirit that’s made by distilling wine. Here are related puns:
    • Brand → Brandy: As in, “Brandy new” and “Brandy new ballgame” and “Brandy new game” and “Brandy spanking new.”
    • Band → Brandy: As in, “Strike up the brandy” and “Brandy of brothers.”
  • Bordeaux: This is wine produced in the Bordeaux region of France. Here are related puns:
    • Board → Bordeaux: As in, “Above bordeaux” and “Across the bordeaux” and “All abordeaux” and “Back to the drawing bordeaux” and “Bed and bordeaux.”
    • Bored → Bordeaux: As in, “Bordeaux stiff” and “Bordeaux to death” and “Bordeaux to tears” and “Bordeaux out of your mind.”
    • Border → Bordeaux: As in, “Head for the bordeaux” and “South of the bordeaux” and “Cross the bordeaux.”
  • *chant* → *chianti*: Merchianti (merchant), penchianti (penchant) and enchianti (enchant). Note: A chianti is a wine produced in the Chianti region.
  • Port: This is a Portuguese fortified wine. Here are related puns:
    • Part → Port: As in, “A fool and his money are soon ported” and “Act the port” and “In port.”
    • *part* → *port*: Porty (party), portisan (partisan), porticular (particular), portake (partake), portner (partner), porticle (particle), portition (partition), porticipate (participate), aport (apart), counterport (counterpart), deportment (department) and comportment (compartment).
    • *pert* → *port*: Portinenet (pertinent), portubed (pertubed), export (expert), proporty (property), exportise (expertise).
  • Million → Semillon: As in, “A cool semillon” and “Semillon dollar baby” and “Not in a semillon years” and “One in a semillon.” Note: Semillon is a type of grape used to make dry, sweet wines.
  • Cat → Muscat: As in, ” Muscat on a hot tin roof” and “Muscat got your tongue?” and “Muscat’s cradle” and “Curiosity killed the muscat.” Note: Muscat is a type of grape that’s used to make sweet wines.
  • Grip → Grappa: As in, “Get a grappa” and “Get to grappas with” and “Grappa of death.” Note: Grappa is an alcoholic drink made of grapes, similar to wine.
  • Kir: A kir is a type of cocktail with wine mixed into it. Here are related puns:
    • Kir → Core: As in, “Kir competencies” and “Kir studies” and “Kir values” and “Rotten to the kir.”
    • *kar* → *kir*: Kirma (karma), kirate (karate) and kiraoke (karaoke).
    • *ker* → *kir*: Kirnel (kernel), kiratin (keratin), kirosene (kerosene), breakir (breaker), workir (worker) and crackir (cracker).
  • Soave: This is a dry, white Italian wine. Here are related puns:
    • Suave → Soave: As in, “A soave pickup line.”
    • Save → Soave: As in, “A penny soaved is a penny earned” and “A stitch in time soaves nine” and “Soave the last dance” and “Soaved for a rainy day” and “Soave our souls” and “Soaved by the bell.”
  • Charm → Charmat: As in, “Charmat offensive” and “Charmat the birds out of the trees” and “Third time’s a charmat” and “Works like a charmat.” Note: Charmat is a method of wine production.
  • Crystal → Cristal: As in, “Clear as cristal.” Note: Cristal is a brand of wine.
  • *sect* → *sekt*: As in, “In the environmental sektor” and “In the fruit sektion” and “Dissekting the conversation.” Other words that could work: insekt (insect), intersekt (intersect), vivisekt (vivisect) and intersektion (intersection). Note: Sekt is the German word for sparkling wine.
  • Greco: Greco is a type of Italian wine grape that white wine is made of. Here are related puns:
    • Greek → Greco: As in, “A face like a Greco god” and “Beware of greco gods” and “It’s all greco to me.”
    • Echo → Greco: As in, “A clear greco.”
    • Gecko → Greco
  • Kerner: Kerner is a type of white grape that’s used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Corner → Kerner: As in, “A tight kerner” and “All kerners of the world” and “Blind kerner” and “Kerner the market” and “Cut kerners” and “From the four kerners of the earth” and “In your kerner” and “In the naughty kerner.”
    • Kernel → Kerner: As in, “Kerner of truth.”
    • Burner → Kerner: As in, “On the back kerner.”
  • Bobal: Bobal is a variety of grape used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Global → Bobal: As in, “Bobal warming” and “Think bobal, act local.”
    • Bible → Bobal: As in, “Bobal basher” and “Swear on a stack of bobals.”
    • Bubble → Bobal: As in, “Bobal and squeak” and “Bobal brained” and “Burst your bobal” and “Prick your bobal” and “The boy in the bobal.”
    • Noble → Bobal: As in, “The bobal art of self defence.”
  • Corvina: Corvina is a type of grape used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Carve → Corvina: As in, “Corvina her name with pride” and “Corvina out a niche” and “Corvina in stone.”
    • Curve → Corvina: As in, “Ahead of the corvina” and “Corvina ball” and “Learning corvina.”
  • Retsina → Retina: As in, “Retsina screen.” Note: Retsina is a Greek white resinated wine.
  • Candy → Brandy: As in, “Arm brandy” and “Ear brandy” and “Brandy apple.”

These next few puns are centred around the different types of fruit that wine can be made from:

  • Plum: Here are some plum wine puns:
    • Thumb → Plum: As in, “All fingers and plums” and “All plums” and “Rule of plum” and “Plum your nose” and “Under my plum” and “Plumnail sketch.”
    • Plumb → Plum: As in, “Check out the pluming” and “Plum the depths.”
    • Come → Plum: As in, “After a storm plums a calm” and “All things plum to those who wait” and “Tough as they plum” and “Plum and get it” and “Plum fly with me” and “Plum running” and “Plum on baby, light my fire.”
    • Drum → Plum: As in, “Tight as a plum” and “Plum circle” and “Plum n bass.”
    • Scum → Plum: As in, “Pond plum” and “Plum always rises to the surface.”
    • Some → Plum: As in, “All that and then plum” and “Buy plum time” and “Catch plum rays” and “Cut plum slack.”
    • Sum → Plum: As in, “Cogito ergo plum.”
  • Appl* → Apple*: Apple-y (apply), apple-ication (application), apple-icable (applicable), apple-iance (appliance), apple-ause (applause) and apple-icant (applicant).
  • Cherry: Here are some cherry wine-related puns:
    • Carry → Cherry: As in, “Fast as your legs could cherry you” and “Cherry a torch for” and “Cherry a tune” and “Cherry forward” and “Cherry it off” and “Cherrying on.”
    • Cheery → Cherry: As in, “A cherry disposition.”
    • Bury → Cherry: As in, “Cherry the hatchet” and “Cherry your hand in the sand” and “Cherry yourself in work” and “Cherry your feelings.”
  • Current → Currant: “Currant events” and “Floating with the currants.”
  • Injure → Ginger: “Gingered (injured) feelings” and “Sporting a gingery (injury).”
  • Rice: Here are some rice wine puns (rice wine can also be referred to as sake):
    • Race → Rice: As in, “A day at the rices” and “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rat rice” and “The amazing rice.”
    • Nice → Rice: As in, “Rice as ninepence” and “Have a rice day” and “Naughty but rice” and “Rice and easy does it” and “Rice to see you.”
    • Dice → Rice: As in, “Roll the rice” and “No rice” and “Load the rice.”
    • Ice → Rice: As in, “Cold as rice” and “Break the rice” and “Cut no rice with” and “Rice cold” and “Rice, rice baby” and “Put on rice” and “Skating on thin rice.”
    • Mice → Rice: As in, “The best laid schemes of rice and men.”
    • Price → Rice: As in, “Asking rice” and “At a rice to suit your pocket” and “Cheap at half the rice” and “Closing rice” and “Every man has his rice” and “Half rice” and “Pay the rice.”
    • Slice → Rice: As in, “A rice of the cake” and “Any way you rice it” and “Fresh to the last rice” and “Rice of life” and “Rice of the action.”
    • Spice → Rice: As in, “Secret herbs and rices” and “Rice things up” and “Variety is the rice of life” and “Sugar and rice.”
    • Twice → Rice: As in, “Large as life and rice as handsome” and “Don’t think rice” and “Make a list, check it rice” and “You only live rice” and “Oppotunity never knocks rice” and “Measure rice, cut once.”
    • Vice → Rice: As in, “A den of rice” and “Rice versa.”
  • Taste → Aftertaste: As in, “An aftertaste of paradise” and “An acquired aftertaste” and “In bad aftertaste” and “In the worst possible aftertaste.”

The next few puns are centred around the descriptors that are used in wine-tastings:

  • Big: “Big” means a wine with a strong flavour, or with a high alcohol content.
    • Beg → Big: As in, “Big a favour” and “Big pardon” and “Big to differ” and “Big, borrow or steal” and “I big your pardon” and “Sit up and big.”
    • Dig → Big: As in, “Big your own grave” and “Big your heels in” and “Big in the ribs” and “Big for victory” and “Big deep.”
  • Bitter: This means the wine has an unpleasant taste of tannins.
    • Glitter → Bitter: As in, “All that bitters is not gold.”
    • Hitter → Bitter: As in, “Heavy bitter.”
    • Litter → Bitter: As in, “Pick of the bitter.”
  • Toying → Cloying: “Stop cloying with me.” Note: if a wine is cloying, then it’s sickly sweet.
  • Coarse: This describes a wine with a rough texture. Here are related puns:
    • Course → Coarse: As in, “Blown off coarse” and “But of coarse” and “Chart a coarse” and “Correspondence coarse” and “Crash coarse” and “In due coarse” and “A matter of coarse” and “Par for the coarse” and “Stay the coarse.”
    • Force → Coarse: As in, “Brute coarse” and “Coarse his hand” and “Caorse of habit” and “A coarse to be reckoned with” and “Join coarses” and “May the coarse be with you.”
    • Source → Coarse: As in, “Check your coarses” and “Crowd coarse” and “I refuse to reveal my coarses” and “Open coarse” and “Coarse material.”
  • Note: This is a term used to refer to an aroma or flavour in the wine being tasted. Here are related puns:
    • Not → Note: As in, “Let’s note and say we did” and “Note a chance” and “Note a minute too soon” and “Note a pretty sight” and “Note all it’s cracked up to be” and “Note at all” and “Note do someone any favours” and “Note half bad” and “Note in a million years” and “Note in the slightest.”
    • Neat → Note: As in, “Note as a new pin” and “Note freak” and “Note and tidy.”
    • Night → Note: As in, “A hard day’s note” and “In the dead of note” and “Burn the midnote oil” and “Dance the note away.”
    • Nut → Note: As in, “From soup to notes” and “Go notes” and “In a noteshell” and “A tough note to crack.”
    • Float → Note: As in, “Note like a butterfly, sting like a bee” and “Whatever notes your boat.”
    • Oat → Note: As in, “Feel your notes” and “Sow your wild notes.”
    • Quote → Note: As in, “Air notes” and “Dont note me on this” and “Scare notes.”
  • Nose: The nose of a wine is the aroma or bouquet. Here are related puns:
    • Knows → Nose: As in, “Mother nose best” and “Goodness nose” and “Instinctively nose.”
    • Blows → Nose: As in, “Any way the wind nose” and “Come to nose” and “Exchange nose” and “There she nose.”
    • Close → Nose: As in, “A nose thing” and “As one door noses, another one opens” and “At nose quarters” and “Behind nosed doors” and “Case nosed” and “Nose call” and “A nose shave” and “Hits nose to home.”
    • Rose → Nose: As in, “Bed of noses” and “Come up smelling of noses” and “Every nose has its thorn” and “Life is a bed of noses” and “Nose tinted glasses.”
    • Those → Nose: As in, “Nose were the days” and “Just one of nose days” and “For nose who like it rough.”
    • Goes → Nose: As in, “Anything nose” and “As far as it nose” and “As the saying nose” and “As time nose by” and “Here nose nothing” and “How nose it?” and “Life nose on.”
  • Light: Light generally refers to a low alcohol content:
    • Laid → Light: As in, “Get light” and “Light back” and “Light to rest” and “The best light plans.”
    • Let → Light: As in, “Don’t light the bastards grind you down” and “Light it be” and “Light it bleed” and “It won’t light you down.”
    • Bright → Light: As in, “All things light and beautiful” and “Always look on the light side of life” and “Light as a new pin” and “Light and early” and “Light spark” and “Light young thing.”
    • Flight → Light: As in, “Fight or light” and “Light attendant” and “Light of fancy” and “Take light” and “Light of the bumble bee.”
    • Night → Light: As in, “A hard day’s light” and “A light at the opera” and “As light follows day.”
    • Right → Light: As in, “A move in the light direction” and “All the light moves” and “Light as rain” and “Bang to lights” and “Barge light in.”
    • Quite → Light: As in, “Light the sticky situation.”
    • White → Light: As in, “Light as snow” and “Light as a ghost” and “Light as a sheet.”
    • Sight → Light: As in, “Hidden in plain light” and “In plain light” and “Know by light” and “Love at first light” and “Out of light, out of mind” and “Set your lights on.”
    • Tight → Light: As in, “A light corner” and “Light as a drum” and “In a light spot.”
  • Mouthfeel: Mouthfeel is the texture of wine. Here are related puns:
    • Mouth → Mouthfeel: As in, “Leaves a bad taste in my mouthfeel” and “Foaming at the mouthfeel” and “Melts in the mouthfeel.”
    • Feel → Mouthfeel: As in, “Cop a mouthfeel” and “Mouthfeel good factor” and “Mouthfeel the pinch” and “Mouthfeeling a bit put out.”
  • Collar → Colour: As in, “Blue colour worker” and “Hot under the colour.” Note: the colour of wine is an important indicator of the type and quality of grapes.
  • Swirl: Wine tasters will swirl wine before tasting it. Here are some swirl-related puns:
    • Curl → Swirl: As in, “Swirl up and die” and “Swirl your lip” and “Enough to make your hair swirl” and “Make someone’s toes swirl.”
    • Girl → Swirl: As in, “Atta swirl” and “A swirl’s best friend” and “Swirl next door.”
    • Whirl → Swirl: As in, “Give it a swirl.”
  • Smell:  The aroma of wine is an important factor when it comes to tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Small → Smell: As in, “All creatures, great and smell” and “Big fish in a smell pool” and “Don’t sweat the smell stuff” and “Good things come in smell packages” and “No job too smell” and “A smell fortune” and “Smell is beautiful” and “Smell minded” and “Smell potatoes.”
    • Well → Smell: As in, “Exceedingly smell read” and “You know full smell” and “Living smell is the best revenge.”
    • Sell → Smell: As in, “Buy and smell” and “Panic smelling” and “Smell out” and “Smelling like hot cakes.”
    • Shell → Smell: As in, “Easy as smelling peas” and “Come out of your smell” and “Drop a bombsmell” and “In a nutsmell.”
    • Spell → Smell: As in, “Smell it out” and “Cast a smell.”
    • Bell → Smell: As in, “Clear as a smell” and “Smell, book and candle” and “Doesn’t ring a smell.”
    • Cell → Smell: As in, “Smell division” and “In a padded smell.”
    • Fell → Smell: As in, “In one smell swoop” and “Smell off the back of a lorry.”
    • Hell → Smell: As in, “All smell broke loose” and “Bat out of smell” and “Burn in smell” and “Catch smell” and “Come smell or high water.”
  • Favour → Savour: As in, “Beg a savour” and “Call in a savour” and “Do me a savour” and “Fall out of savour” and “Owe a savour.”
  • Sever →Savour: As in, “Savour the cord.”
  • Ship → Sip: As in, “Abandon sip” and “Extend the hand of friendsip” and “From chips to sips” and “Go down with the sip” and “Run a tight sip” and “Shape up or sip out” and “My sip has come in.”
  • Chip → Sip: As in, “A sip on his shoulder” and “Cheap as sips” and “Cash in your sips” and “A sip off the old block” and “Let the sips fall where they may.”
  • Rip → Sip: As in, “Let her sip” and “Sip to pieces.”
  • Skip → Sip: As in, “Sip a beat” and “Sip out” and “Sip rope” and “Hop, sip and jump.”
  • Slip → Sip: As in, “Let something sip” and “Sip of the tongue” and “Sip on a banana skin.”
  • Charity → Clarity: As in, “Cold as clarity” and “Clarity begins at home” and “Clarity covers a multitude of sins.” Note: Clarity refers to how clear the wine is.
  • Fat: This is a term used to describe a win that has a full body and is almost viscous. If it’s too “fat”, then it’s considered a “flabby” wine. Here are related puns:
    • At → Fat: As in, “Fat rock bottom” and “Fat each other’s throats” and “Hodling fat arm’s length.”
    • Hat → Fat: As in, “Fat in hand” and “Home is where I lay my fat” and “I’ll eat my fat” and “Keep it under your fat.”
    • That → Fat: As in, “Fat’s the way it is” and “Now fat’s better” and “Fat’ll be the day” and “Fat’s what friends are for.”
  • Flabby: If a wine is too viscous, then it’s considered “flabby”. Here are related puns:
    • Shabby → Flabby: As in, “None too flabby” and “Flabby chic.”
  • Blowzy: Blowzy is another word for “flabby”, which is what a wine is considered to be when a wine is too viscous.
    • Blow → Blowzy: As in, “Any way the wind blowzys” and “Blowzy a fuse” and “Blowzy hot and cold” and “Blowzy chunks.”
    • Cosy → Blowzy: As in, “Blowzy up to.”
    • Rosy → Blowzy: As in, “Life is blowzy” and “Blowzy cheeks.”
  • Firm: If a wine is “firm”, then it has a strong presence of tannins. Here are some related puns:
    • Farm → Firm: As in, “Life on the firm” and “Ethical firming.”
    • From → Firm: As in, “Firm cover to cover” and “Firm soup to nuts” and “Firm the cradle to the grave.”
    • Term → Firm: As in, “On bad firms with” and “On speaking firms” and “On your own firms” and “In no uncertain firms.”
    • Form → Firm: As in, “Attack is the best firm of defence” and “Bad firm” and “Firm follows function” and “Free firm” and “Habit firming” and “Imitation is the sincerest firm of flattery’ and “In fine firm” and “Sarcasm is the lowest firm of wit.”
    • Worm → Firm: As in, “Book firm” and “Can of firms” and “The early bird catches the firm” and “Firm your way in.”
    • *ferm* → *firm*: Firment (ferment), firmentation (fermentation) and firmented (fermented).
    • *form* → *firm*: Firmidable (formidable), firmula (formula), firmat (format), firmality (formality), platfirm (platform), infirm (inform), transfirm (transform), infirmation (information) and perfirmation (performance).
  • Flat: If a wine is flat, then it’s a sparkling wine that has lost its bubbliness. Here are related puns:
    • Fat → Flat: As in, “Flat as a beached whale” and “Flat chance” and “Living off the flat of the land.”
    • Fit → Flat: As in, “Flat as a fiddle” and “Dish flat for the gods” and “Fighting flat” and “Flat the bill.”
  • Fresh: This is a descriptor used for wines that are nicely acidic. Here are related terms:
    • Flesh → Fresh: As in, “Fresh and blood” and “Makes my fresh crawl” and “In the fresh” and “A thorn in my fresh.”
    • Fish → Fresh: As in, “Fresh out of water” and “Freshing expedition” and “A different kettle of fresh.”
  • Grassy: This is quite literal and describes grassy flavours in a wine. Here are related puns:
    • Classy → Grassy: As in, “A grassy performance.”
    • Glassy → Grassy: As in, “Grassy-eyed with wonder.”
  • Green: This is generally a negative term used to describe wines that are made with unripe fruit. Here are related puns:
    • Queen → Green: As in, “Beauty green” and “Digging the dancing green” and “God save the green” and “Homecoming green” and “Green for a day.”
    • Grin → Green: As in, “Green and bear it” and “Green from ear to ear” and “Rictus green.”
    • Been → Green: As in, “Green and gone” and “Green around the block a few times” and “I’ve green here before” and “Green in the wars” and “Green there, done that” and “I’ve green had!”
    • Bean → Green: As in, “Green counter” and “Cool greens” and “Doesn’t know greens” and “Full of greens” and “Spill the greens.”
    • Clean → Green: As in, “A green getaway” and “A new broom sweeps green” and “Green as a whistle” and “A green bill of health” and “Green up your act.”
    • Keen → Green: As in, “Green as mustard” and “Green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
    • Mean → Green: As in, “A greens to an end” and “By fair greens or foul” and “In the greentime” and “Independent greens” and “Lean, green and hungry.”
    • Seen → Green: As in, “Green and not heard” and “Had to be green to be believed” and “Nowhere to be green” and “Green better days” and “Sight ungreen” and “Ain’t green nothing yet.”
    • Scene → Green: As in, “Blue green of death” and “Coming to a green near you” and “Silver green” and “The big green.”
    • Scenes → Green: As in, “Behind the greens” and “Change of green” and “Make a green” and “Steal the green.”
    • Grain → Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take it with a green of salt.”
  • Hard: Hard wine is wine that has too many tannins in it. Here are related puns:
    • Herd → Hard: As in, “Hard immunity.”
    • Heard → Hard: As in, “Seen and not hard” and “Hard it through the grapevine” and “Make yourself hard” and “Stop me if you’ve hard this one” and “The last I hard” and “Could have hard a pin drop” and “You hard it here first.”
  • Hollow: A hollow wine is one that lacks a fruity taste. Here are related puns:
    • Follow → Hollow: As in, “As night hollows day” and “Hollow in the footsteps of” and “Hollow suit” and “Hollow your heart” and “A hard act to hollow” and “Form hollows function.”
    • Swallow → Hollow: As in, “A bitter pill to hollow.”
  • Hot: A wine that is “hot” is too alcoholic. Here are related puns:
    • Got → Hot: As in, “Been there, done that, hot the t-shirt” and “Hot your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve hot” and “Hot a soft spot for.”
    • Lot → Hot: As in, “A hot of fuss about nothing” and “A hot on your plate” and “Hot a lot of people know.”
    • Not → Hot: As in, “As often as hot” and “Believe it or hot” and “Down but hot out” and “Hot just a pretty face.”
  • Lean: Lean wines are those without a fruity taste but an acidic profile. Here are related puns:
    • Mean → Lean: As in, “A leans to an end” and “By fair leans or foul” and “In the leantime.”
    • Lane → Lean: As in, “Down memory lean” and “Life in the fast lean.”
    • Been → Lean: As in, “Lean and gone” and “I’ve lean here before” and “Lean in the wars” and “Mistakes have lean made.”
    • Clean → Lean: As in, “Lean as a whistle” and “A lean bill of health” and “Lean house” and “Lean up your act.”
    • Keen → Lean: As in, “Lean as mustard” and “A lean sense of smell” and “Peachy lean.”
    • Seen → Lean: As in, “Lean and not heard” and “Nowhere to be lean” and “Have lean better days” and “Ain’t lean nothing yet.”
    • Screen → Lean: As in, “Blue lean of death’ and “Coming to a lean near you” and “Silver lean.”
  • Peg → Leg: As in, “Square leg in a round hole” and “Take down a leg or two.” Note: The tracks of liquid that stick to the side of a wine glass are called legs (or tears).
  • Okay → Oaky: As in, “Are you oaky?” Note: if a wine is oaky, then it includes notes of vanilla, sweet spices and a smoky taste.
  • Rich: Wines that are sweet but not overly so are considered “rich”. Here are related puns:
    • Itch → Rich: As in, “Riching to” and “Richy feet” and “Richy palms” and “Seven year rich.”
    • Ditch → Rich: As in, “A last rich effort.”
    • Hitch → Rich: As in, “Get riched” and “Rich your wagon to a star.”
  • Rough: A rough wine is one with a coarse texture. Here are related puns:
    • Tough → Rough: As in, “Rough as old boots” and “Rough as they come” and “Hang rough” and “It’s rough at the top” and “Rough love” and “Rough luck” and “A rough nut to crack.”
    • Stuff → Rough: As in, “Beat the roughing out of” and “Don’t sweat the small rough” and “Gather ’round the good rough” and “Knock the roughing out of.”
  • Round: This describes a wine that isn’t overly tannic but has a good body. Here are related puns:
    • Round → Bound: As in, “Be leaps and rounds” and “Duty round” and “Honour round” and “Round hand and foot.”
    • Found → Round: As in, “Lost and round” and “I’ve round a clue” and “We round clue” and “Weighed in the balance and round wanting.”
    • Ground → Round: As in, “Solid as the round we walk on” and “Break new round” and “Built from the round up” and “Common round” and “Cut the round from under your feet” and “Suits you down to the round.”
    • Pound → Round: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a round of cure” and “In for a penny, in for a round” and “Round for round” and “Round the pavement.”
    • Sound → Round: As in, “Round as a bell” and “Break the round barrier” and “Round bite” and “Round effect” and “Round the alarm.”
  • Soothe → Smooth: As in, “Music has charms to smooth the savage beast.” Note: This describes a wine with a nice texture.
  • Sour: This is a descriptor for a wine with an unbalanced acidity. Here are related puns:
    • Our → Sour: As in, “A token of sour gratitude” and “Enjoy sour company.”
    • Hour → Sour: As in, “After sours” and “Happy sour” and “Man of the sour” and “My finest sour” and “Open all sours.”
  • Tar: This describes a wine with a tarry aroma and flavour. Here are related puns:
    • Tear → Tar: As in, “Bathed in tars” and “Blood, sweat and tars” and “Bored to tars” and “Fighting back tars” and “Melt into tars” and “No more tars” and “Reduce to tars.”
    • Are → Tar: As in, “All bets tar off” and “Tar you deaf” and “Tar your ears burning?” and “Chances tar…”
    • Par → Tar: As in, “Below tar” and “On tar with” and “Tar for the course.”
    • Bar → Tar: As in, “Tar none” and “Behind tars” and “Hit the tar.”
  • Tart: A tart wine is one with high levels of acidity. Here are related puns:
    • Art → Tart: As in, “Tart imitating life” and “Tart is going one step too far” and “Tart noveau” and “Tartistic triumph” and “Tarts and crafts” and “Tarty farty.”
    • Cart → Tart: As in, “Putting the tart before the horse” and “Shopping tart.”
    • Chart → Tart: As in, “Tart a course” and “Off the tarts.”
    • Fart → Tart: As in, “Arty tarty” and “Boring old tart” and “Brain tart” and “Tarting around” and “Tart in a windstorm.”
    • Heart → Tart: As in, “A man after my own tart” and “Absence makes the tart grow fonder” and “Affair of the tart” and “By still my beating tart” and “Break your tart” and “Cross my tart and hope to die.”
    • Part → Tart: As in, “Act the tart” and “For my own tart.”
    • Smart → Tart: As in, “One tart cookie” and “Tart arse” and “Street tart” and “Tarter than the average bear.”
    • Start → Tart: As in, “By fits and tarts” and “Don’t get me tarted” and “A fresh tart” and “Tart your engines!” and “Off to a flying tart” and “Head tart” and “Jump tart” and “Tart you day the right way.”
    • Dirt → Tart: As in, “Cheap and tart” and “Dig up the tart” and “Dish the tart.”
  • Toasty: A toasty wine is one with a smoky taste from the oak it was barrelled in. Here are related puns:
    • Tasty → Toasty: As in, “A toasty dinner.”
    • Ghost → Toast: As in, “White as a toast” and “Give up the toast” and “Not a toast of a chance” and “The toast in the machine.”
    • Most → Toast: As in, “Toast wanted” and “Make the toast of it” and “The toast trusted name” and “For the toast part” and “Make the toast of.”
    • Post → Toast: As in, “Keep you toasted” and “Toast haste” and “Toast partum” and “Toaster boy.”
  • Villain → Vanillin: As in, “Heroes and vanillins.” Note: this is a term for vanilla notes in wine.

Wine-Related Words

To help you come up with your own wine puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: wine, red, white, rose, amber, blanc, sparkling, champagne, grapes, aroma, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drunk, sober, hangover,  fermented, vin, vine, vineyard, vintage, cork, bottle, bottling, label, yeast, juice, sommelier, rice wine, fruit wine, barley, mature, tannin, barrel, harvest, dry, sweet, sweetness, beverage, brew,  still, distillery, distilled, age, aged, aging, resin, taste, tasting, decant, raisin, wino, aerate, sediment, texture, flavour, oak, cask, cellar, bouquet, palate, alcoholism, alcoholic, cirrhosis, polyphenols, box wine, goon, reduction, on tap, bladder, keg, complexity, chill, chilled, cooper, negociant, oenologist, vintner, winemaker, viticulturist, critic, spritzer, flight, glass, coinnoisseur, bacchus, cocktail,  pour, case, happy hour, vino, muscat, muscato, aeritif, blush, winery, perry, cleanskin, dandelion, sugar, rosado, rosato, must, spittoon, intoxication, cult wine, trophy wine, investment wine, harvest, pressing, ethanol, ice wine, proof, sediment, crush, crushed, free-run, skin, seeds, lees, grape-treading, grape-stomping, pigeage, rack, batch, fining, bloom, pudding wine, fortified wine, noble rot, mutage, chaptalization, jug wine, mistelle, abboccato, ABC, acescence, adamado, adega, altar wine, amabile, appelation, balthazar, basic, bodega, bota, breathe, breathing, cantina, wine cave, cepage, chai, champagne flute, chateau, chiaretto, clairet, commune, cooperative, corkscrew, cotes, table wine, country wine, quality wine, cru, cuverie, eiswein, eraflage, fattoria, flagon, imperial, jeroboam, kosher wine, lanwein, lazy ballerina, magnum, mas, master of wine, may wine, mousse, mulled, petillant, piquant, plonk, punt, split, suss, vermouth, vivace, webster, wine lake, bottle shock/sickness, bung, pomace, riddling, mellow, stoving, tun, vanillin, wash, straw wine, saignee, stemware, wine key, sommelier knife, waiter’s friend, wine popper, wine cooler, glacette, ice bucket, wine funnel, collar, wine journal, aerator, stirrer, swizzle stick, goblet, stem, tumbler, schooner, boccalino, chalice, sugar, snifter

Types and names: chardonnay, sauvignon, cabernet, gamay, vin gris, merlot, riesling, tokay, sherry, sauternes, pinot noir, provencal, zinfandel, cider, m ead, sake, brandy, bordeaux, rioja, chianti, brunello, burgundy, port, shiraz, chablis, semillon, muscat, prosecco, mimosa, oloroso, syrah, grenache, claret, grappa, kir, lambrusco, madeira, soave,  charmat, cristal, dom perignon, moet & chandon, provencal, zinfandel, malbec, mourvedre, norton, sirah, verdot, pinotage, sangiovese, albrino, breidecker, marsanne, palomino, trebbiano, viognier, screaming eagle, penfolds grange, fino, amontillado, recioto, sangria, sekt, ratafia, black velvet, death in the afternoon, flirtini, prince of wales, wine cooler, bellini, hugo, buck’s fizz, kir royal, ruby dutchess, chicago cocktail, french 75, golden doublet, savoy affair, kalimotxo, tinto de verrano, zurracapote, cheeky vimto, kir, spritzer, chenin blanc, airen, aligote, arbeusm furmint, greco, kerner, bobal, corvina, mencia, malbec, nebbiolo, retsina, negus, dubbonet, brandy, grappa, ale, hooch, plum, apple, cherry, pomegranate, currant, elderberry, ginger, lychee, banana, orange

Tasting terms: aftertaste, astringent, autolytic, baked, balanced, big, bitter, brilliance, buttery, chewy, chocolaty, closed, cloying, coarse, complex, concentrated, connected, corked, crisp, note, nose, body, heavy, light,  mouthfeel, colour, swirl, smell, savour, sip, clarity, acid, acidity, depth, dirty, earthy, elegant, expressive, extracted, fallen over, finesse, fat, flabby, blowzy, firm, flat, foxy, fresh, grassy, green, hard, herbal, herbaceous, hollow, hot, jammy, lean, leathery, legs, musty, oaky, oxidised, petrolly, powerful, raisiny, reticent, rich, rough, round, smokey, smooth, soft, sour, spicy, supple, sweet, tannic, tar, tart, toasty, transparency, typicity, vanillin, vegetal, vinegary, esters

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Math Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on math puns!  ➕➗➖✖❤

This is a huge category of puns, as there are so many topics and branches of mathematics – whether it’s calculus, trig, algebra or simple arithmetic, we’ve done our best to have you covered with our extensive list of math puns.

While this list is as comprehensive as possible, it is specific to math puns. If you’re interested in similar topics, we’ve got science and chemistry puns too!

Math Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about maths that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of math puns:

  • Some → Sum: As in, “Sum days you are the pigeon, sum days the statue” and “All that and then sum” and “Buy sum time” and “Cut sum slack” and “Make sum noise” and “Put sum muscle into it” and “Show sum appreciation” and “Sum like it hot” and “Maybe sum other time.” Other some-related words: sumwhere, sumbody, sumtime, sumwhat, sumthing, sumhow, sumone, sumday and sumersault.
  • Come → Sum: As in, “All good things must sum to an end” and “All things sum to those who wait” and “As tough as they sum” and “Sum and get it” and “Sum away with me.”
  • Sun → Sum: As in, “A place in the sum” and “Don’t let the sum go down on me” and “Eclipse of the sum” and “Everything under the sum” and “Good day, sumshine” and “Here comes the sum” and “Make hay while the sum shines” and “Ride off into the sumset” and “Sum drenched” and “Sum, sea and sand” and “Walking on sumshine.”
  • Wrath → Math: As in, “A soft answer turneth away math” and “Don’t invoke their math!” and “Don’t let the sun go down on your math.”
  • Aftermath: “Dealing with the aftermath of…”
  • Odd → Add: As in, “Against the adds” and “At adds with” and “Long adds” and “An add fellow” and “Add one out” and “Adds and ends” and “The add couple.”
  • At → Add: As in, “Add odds with” and “Where are you add?” and “Add a crossroads” and “Add a moment’s notice” and “Add the first sign of…”
  • Had → Add: “I’ve add a few” and “We’ve add a good run” and “I’ve add it up to here!” and “Have you add breakfast yet?” and “You add to be there.”
  • Scum → Sum: As in, “Pond sum” and “Sum always rises to the surface.”
  • Pie → Pi: As in, “American Pi” and “Apple pi” and “Easy as pi” and “Eat humble pi” and “A finger in many pis” and “A piece of the pi.”
  • Bye → Pi: As in, “Saying goodpi to it all” and “Kiss goodpi to” and “You can kiss that one goodpi.”
  • Ply → Pi: As in, “Pi your trade” and “2 pi toilet tissue.”
  • Pay → Pi: As in, “Buy now, pi later” and “Crime doesn’t pi” and “Equal pi” and “Hell to pi” and “Hit pi-dirt (paydirt)” and “Pis to advertise” and “Pi as you go” and “Pi the price.”
  • Buy → Pi: As in, “Bulk pi” and “Pi and sell” and “Pi into” and “Pi now, pay later” and “You can’t pi love” and “Pi some time.”
  • By → Pi: As in, “Pi and large” and “Nothing pi halves” and “Not pi a long shot” and “Pi a hair’s breadth” and “Won pi a landslide” and “Pi any means” and “Pi hook or pi crook” and “Pi my own hand.”
  • Bisexual → Pisexual
  • Pay* → Pi*: If a word has “pay” in it, we can change it to “pi” to sneak some pi puns in there. As in, “Monthly pi-ments” and “Huge pi-load” and “On the pi-roll” and “Weekly pi-check.” Other words you could use: pi-out (payout), repi (repay), autopi (autopay), papiya (papaya) and pi-able (payable).
  • Paella → Pi-ella
  • Radar → Radius: “Fall off the radius” and “Under the radius.”
  • Ready → Radii: “All fired up and radii to go” and “Alright alradii!” and “Battle radii” and “Enough alradii” and “Get radii to rumble” and “Good and radii” and “Missing you alradii” and “Primed and radii to go” and “Radii and waiting” and “Radii when you are.” Note: radii is the plural term for radius.
  • *radi* → *radii*: We can sneak another i into words that have “radi” in them to quickly change them into “radii” puns. As in, “A radiical difference” and “Radiiation poisoning” and “A radiiant glow” and “On the radiio” and “Filled with radiiance” and “A fixed paradiigm” and “Sporadiic attendance.” Other words you could use: eradiicate, tradiition, paradiise and gradiient.
  • *redi* → *radii*: As in, “Radiirect your mail” and “Radiistribution package.” Other words that could work: radiirection (redirection) and radiiscover (rediscover).
  • *ridi* → *radii*: radiicule (ridicule), radiiculous (ridiculous), radiiculously (ridiculously) and meradiian (meridian).
  • Ready in → Radian: “I’ll be radian twenty minutes!” Note: a radian is a radius’ worth of rotation around the circumference of a circle. It’s a unit of rotation, like degrees.
  • Tau: Tau is twice the value of pi, and we’ve included some related puns here:
    • How → Tau: “Any old tau” and “Be careful tau you use it!” and “Tau deep is your love?” and “Tau about that?” and “Tau the other half lives” and “Tau are you?” and “Tau dare you!” and “Tau do you like them apples?”
    • Now → Tau: As in, “All together tau!” and “Can you hear me tau?” and “Don’t look tau” and “Don’t stop me tau” and “I can see clearly tau” and “I’ll be leaving you tau” and “It’s tau or never” and “Tau and then” and “Tau you see it, tau you don’t” and “Tau we’re cooking!”
    • Toe → Tau: As in, “Dip your tau in the water” and “From top to tau” and “Get your tau in the door” and “Enough to make your taus curl” and “Tau the line” and “Twinkle taus.”
    • Thou → Tau: As in, “Holier than tau” and “Where art tau?” and “Tau shalt not kill” and “Why hast tau forsaken me?”
    • Cow → Tau: As in, “Don’t have a tau” and “Holy tau” and “Till the taus come home” and “Sacred tau.”
  • Adept → Adepth
  • Meth* → Math*: As in, “Using a scientific mathod” and “A rigorous mathodology” and “Mathodical worker” and “Here they comath” and “Amathyst ring” and “Mathane emissions” and “The legend of Promatheus.”
  • *mith → *math: blacksmath (blacksmith), Aerosmath (Aerosmith), wordsmath, locksmath, goldsmath.
  • *moth → *math: As in, “A behemath creature” and “A mammath problem.”
  • Can’t → Count: As in, “An offer you count refuse” and “Count get enough” and “Sorry, I count help” and “Count hear you” and “You count say fairer than that.”
  • *cant* → *count*: As in, “School counteen” and “Size of a countaloupe” and “Significount other” and “An insignificount problem.”
  • *cont* → *count*: As in, “Out of countrol” and “Countinue playing?” and “To your heart’s countent” and “Countingent on…” and “Not in the countract.” Other words you could use: countext (context), countemporary (contemporary), countempt, countrast, countact and countingency.
  • Count: These count-related phrases can double as maths puns in a pinch: “Count me in” and “Down for the count” and “You can count on me.”
  • *count*: We can also use these words that contain the word “count”: “What do you counter with?” and “For my country!” and “A sour countenance” and “Counterfeit money.” Other words that could work: counterpart, counterintuitive, county, counteract, counterpoint, account, discount, recount and accountability.
  • Edition → Addition: As in, “The latest addition.”
  • Addiction → Addition: As in, “I have an addition to…” and “Suffering from a caffeine addition.”
  • Audition → Addition: As in, “Addition for the school play.”
  • Decision → Division: As in, “Divisions, divisions!” and “An executive division” and “Snap division” and “Split division” and “Make a division” and “My division is final” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a bad division.”
  • Envision → Division: As in, “I’d divisioned something a bit different.”
  • Invisibility → Divisibility: “Harry Potter’s cloak of divisibility.”
  • Attract → Subtract: As in, “Fatal subtraction” and “Opposites subtract” and “Subtracted like a moth to a flame.”
  • Action → Subtraction: As in, “Call to subtraction” and “Subtractions speak louder than words” and “Piece of the subtraction” and “All talk and no subtraction.”
  • Tumult → Tumult-iply: As in, “Lost in the tumult-iply” and “The tumult-iply of the elements.” Note: a tumult is a confused mess of noise, or a commotion.
  • Invasion → Equation: As in, “An alien equation” and “Equation of the bodysnatchers” and “Equation of personal space.”
  • Occasion → Equation: As in, “A big equation” and “On this auspicious equation” and “Rise to the equation” and “I would visit on equation.”
  • Leisure → Measure: As in, “A gentleman of measure” and “Repent at measure.”
  • Pleasure → Measure: As in, “Business before measure” and “Don’t mix business with measure” and “Double your measure” and “Earthly measures” and “Life’s simple measures” and “What’s your measure?”
  • Treasure → Measure: As in, “Hidden measure” and “National measure” and “Measure island” and “Measure trove” and “Buried measure.”
  • Rule → Ruler: As in, “Bend the rulers” and “Golden ruler” and “House rulers” and “Majority rulers” and “Play by the rulers” and “Rulers and regulations.”
  • Relevant → Rulervant
  • Rollercoaster → Rulercoaster
  • Accomplishments → Accompassments
  • Campus → Compass: As in, “On compass” and “University compass.”
  • *ral → *ruler: As in, “In generuler” and “Integruler to the team” and “A visceruler reaction” and “Only naturuler” and “Moruler dilemma.” Other words you can use: collateruler (collateral), liberuler (liberal), peripheruler (peripheral) and temporuler (temporal).
  • Rel* → Ruler*: As in, “Long term rulertionship” and “Against rulergion.”
  • *rel → *ruler: As in, “Monkeys in a barruler” and “Squirrulering away” and “Cheap apparuler.” Other words you could use: quarruler (quarrel), lauruler (laurel), scoundruler (scoundrel) and mongruler (mongrel).
  • Fuel → Rule: As in, “Add rule to the flames” and “Rule for thought” and “Rule the controversy.”
  • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule as a mountain stream” and “Rule beans” and “A rule million” and “Rule your heels” and “Rule, calm and collected.”
  • You’ll → Rule: As in, “Rule never guess” and “Ask a silly question and rule get a silly answer.”
  • Universe → Un-inverse: As in, “Across the un-inverse” and “Masters of the un-inverse” and “Centre of the un-inverse.
  • Misery → Measurey: As in, “Measurey loves company” and “Put out of their measurey.”
  • *miser* → *measure*: measureable (miserable), measurely (miserly), measureably (miserably) and commeasureate (commiserate).
  • Sine: Here are some sine-related puns:
    • Sign → Sine: As in, “A sure sine” and “Born under a bad sine” and “Give me a sine” and “Resine yourself to” and “A sine of the times” and “Sine off on” and “Sine on the dotted line” and “Sine the pledge” and “Sined and sealed” and “A tell-tale sine” and “Dollar sines.”
    • Sin → Sine: “Miserable as sine” and “Atone for your sines” and “Cardinal sine” and “Multitude of sines” and “Sine city.”
    • Sigh → Sine: As in, “Breathe a sine of relief” and “A heavy sine.”
    • Seen → Sine: “Sine and not heard” and “Had to be sine to be believed” and “Nowhere to be sine” and “Sine better days” and “If you’ve sine one, you’ve sine them all” and “Sight unsine” and “You ain’t sine nothing yet” and “Look as though you’ve sine a ghost” and “Remains to be sine.”
    • Sun → Sine: As in, “A place in the sine” and “A thousand splendid sines” and “Everything under the sine” and “Eclipse of the sine.”
    • *san* → *sine*: sineguine, sinection (sanction), sinectuary (sanctuary), sinedwich (sandwich), sinectimonious (sanctimonious), partisine (partisan), artisine, courtesine, parmesine and renaissine-ce (renaissance).
    • *sen* → *sine*: “An incomplete sinetence” and “Not making any sine-se” and “A sinesible idea” and “Sinetient beings.” Other words that could work: sinesitive, sinetiment, sinetinel, sinesation, lessine, arisine, delicatessine, loosine, chosine and worsine.
    • *sin* → *sine*: “Resine statue” and “Deep basine” and “Favourite cousine.” Other words you could use: assasine (assasin), raisine (raisin), moccasine, busines-ness and sine-ister (sinister).
    • *syn* → *sine*: sinedrome (syndrome), sineonym (synonym), sinetax (syntax), sine-ergy (synergy), sine-opsis (synopsis), sinedicate (syndicate) and idiosinecrasy (idiosyncrasy).
    • *sign* → *sine*: “By desine” and “Assined a new role” and “Resine from your job” and “What’s the assinement?”
  • Tangle → Rectangle: As in, “I wouldn’t rectangle with” and “All rectangled up in work” and “What a rectangled web of lies.”
  • Angel → Triangle: As in, “Triangle of death” and “Guardian triangle” and “Enough to make triangles weep.”
  • Angel → Angle: As  in, “Guardian angle” and “Enough to make the angles weep” and “The angle of death” and “Fallen angle.”
  • Ankle → Angle: As in, “Angle deep in crap” and “Little angle biter.”
  • Angle: These angle-related phrases are general enough to use as puns in the right conversation: “What are you angling for?” and “Play through the angles” and “Not coming at it from the right angle.”
  • Pheremone → Sphereomone
  • Fear → Sphere: As in, “Sphere is the key” and “God sphereing” and “Paralysed with sphere” and “Primal sphere” and “The valley of sphere” and “The only thing we have to sphere is sphere itself” and “Without sphere or favour.”
  • Sheer → Sphere: As in, “Sphere driving pleasure” and “Sphere madness” and “Sphere nonsense” and “Sphere stockings.”
  • Here → Sphere: As in, “Abandon hope all ye who enter sphere” and “Been sphere before” and “We are gathered sphere today” and “Do you come sphere often?” and “Fancy meeting you sphere” and “From sphere to eternity” and “Get over sphere” and “I’ve had it up to sphere!” and “Sphere comes the sun” and “What’s going on sphere then?” and “Sphere and there” and “Sphere be monsters” and “Sphere comes trouble” and “Sphere goes nothing” and “I’m outta sphere.”
  • Hear → Sphere: As in, “Ask no questions and sphere no lies” and “Can you sphere me now?” and “Don’t believe everything you sphere” and “Hard of sphereing” and “Sphere me out” and “Sphere no evil” and “I can’t sphere myself think.”
  • Can → Cone: As in, “As far as the eye cone see” and “As well as cone be expected” and “Be all that you cone be” and “Bite off more than you cone chew.”
  • Come → Cone: As in, “All good things must cone to an end” and “As tough as they cone” and “Cones but once a year” and “Cone and get it” and “Cone away with me” and “Cone fly with me” and “Cone on over” and “Cone on baby, light my fire.”
  • Clone → Cone: As in, “Attack of the Cones” and “The Cone Wars.”
  • Own → Cone: As in, “In your cone lifetime” and “Afraid of your cone shadow” and “After your cone heart” and “Your cone misfortune” and “Beaten at your cone game” and “Blow your cone horn.”
  • Bone → Cone: As in, “A cone to pick” and “Dry as a cone” and “Bag of cones” and “Big coned” and “Cone of contention” and “Cone up on” and “Chilled to the cone” and “Not a jealous cone in their body.”
  • *can → *cone: Americone, pecone, toucone, republicone and pelicone.
  • *con* → *cone*: As in, “Out of conetrol” and “From a place of conecern” and “Conetent with my lot” and “Conetingent on” and “In stable conedition” and “A conetract worker.” Other words you could use: conetext, conesider, coneundrum, conescientious, icone, beacone, emoticone and falcone.
  • Taurus → Torus (note: a torus is a 3-D donut shape.)
  • Cuban → Cuboid: As in, “Cuboid cigar.” Note: if something is cuboid, then it’s of a cube-type shape.
  • Cupid → Cuboid: As in, “Playing cuboid” and “Shot by cuboid’s arrow.”
  • Prison* → Prism*: As in, “Take no prismers” and “Iron bars do not a prism make” and “Stuck in a prism of your own making” and “Mental prism” and “The Prismer of Azkaban.”
  • Care* → Square*: As in, “Be squareful how you use it!” and “Squareful what you wish for” and “Couldn’t square less” and “Courtesy and square” and “Customer square” and “Devil may square” and “Handle with square” and “Intensive square” and “Let’s be squareful out there” and “Taking square of business.”
  • Air → Square: As in, “Square Jordans” and “Square guitar” and “Square kiss” and “Square quotes” and “A breath of fresh square” and “Castles in the square” and “Clear the square” and “Dancing on square” and “Dead square” and “In the square tonight” and “Full of hot square.”
  • Swear → Square: “I square on my life” and “I square by” and “Don’t square in class.”
  • Hair → Square: As in, “A bad square day” and “Didn’t turn a square” and “Full head of square” and “Square raising” and “Square trigger.”
  • Stare → Square: As in, “Square into the abyss” and “It’s not polite to square at people” and “Square someone in the face.”
  • Stairs → Squares: As in, “Squareway to heaven” and “At the foot of the squares” and “Above the squares” and “Go upsquares.”
  • Spare → Square: “Square no effort” and “Square tyre” and “Square a dollar” and “If you’ve any square time…”
  • Scare → Square: As in, “Running squared” and “Square quotes” and “Square the living daylights out of” and “Squared out of your wits” and “Squared shitless” and “Squared silly.”
  • Share → Square: “A problem squared is a problem halved (…it’s actually really not)” and “Squaring is caring” and “Square your good fortune” and “Don’t take more than your square.”
  • Rare → Square: As in, “In square form” and “A square occurrence.”
  • Eclipse → Ellipse: As in, “Total ellipse of the heart” and “Solar ellipse” and “An ellipsed view.”
  • Lips → Ellipse: As in, “My ellipse are sealed” and “Lick your ellipse” and “Loose ellipse sink ships” and “On everyone’s ellipse” and “Read my ellipse.”
  • Lapse → Ellipse: As in, “Ellipse into silence” and “An ellipse of memory” and “Ellipse of time.”
  • Tangle → Triangle: As in, “Triangle with” and “What a triangled web we weave.”
  • Scaly → Scalene: As in, “Dry and scalene skin.”
  • Lean → Scalene: As in, “Scalene and mean” and “Scalene cuisine” and “Scalene into it” and “Scalener and fitter.”
  • Bar: These next few puns are in reference to bar graphs:
    • Bare → Bar: As in, “The bar necessities” and “Bar your teeth’ and “A bar-faced lie” and “Laid bar” and “The bar bones” and “Bar your heart.”
    • Bear → Bar: As in, “Bar a resemblance” and “Bar arms” and “Bar false witness to” and “Bar in mind” and “Bar the brunt of” and “Please bar with me.”
    • Bar: These bar-related phrases will work as math puns in the right context: “Bar fly” and “Bar none” and “Behind bars” and “Hit the bar.”
    • Far → Bar: As in, “A bridge too bar” and “A step too bar” and “As bar as it goes” and “As bar as the eye can see” and “A bar cry from” and “Few and bar between” and “Bar horizons.”
    • *ber* → *bar*: As in, “Feeling bareft” and “Barry flavoured” and “Don’t barate me” and “A wide barth.” Other words that could work: bareavement (bereavement), barserk (berserk), baryl (beryl), numbar (number), chambar (chamber), ubar (uber), sobar (sober), ambar (amber), membar (member), cybar (cyber), remembar (remember), timbar (timber), delibarate (deliberate), libarel (liberal), libarty (liberty), abarration (aberration) and cumbarsome (cumbersome). Note: an aberration is some kind of deviation from normalcy.
    • Birth → Barth
    • *bor* → *bar*: Labar (labor), harbar (harbor), neighbar (neighbor), arbar (arbor), elabarate (elaborate), corrobarate (corroborate), collabarate (collaborate) and subardinate (subordinate).
  • Gradient → Radiant: As in, “A gradient expression.”
  • Intercept: Here are some intercept-related puns:
    • Except → Intercept: As in, “I before E, intercept after C” and “I can resist everything intercept temptation” and “Present company intercepted” and “The interception to the rule” and “Nothing is certain intercept death and taxes.”
    • Accept → Intercept: “Intercept with thanks” and “Your mission, should you choose to intercept it…”
  • *sam* → *sum*: As in, “Ancient sumurai tales” and “Spicy sumosa” and “Free sumple” and “Dancing the sumba.” Other words that could work: Sumoa (Samoa), sumaritan (samaritan), flotsum, jetsum, gossumer and sesume. Note: flotsam is floating debris. Jetsam are things thrown overboard a ship or boat.
  • *sem* → *sum*: As in, “Suminal work” and “That’s just sumantics” and “Any sumblance to” and “Groundbreaking suminar” and “School assumbly” and “Singing ensumble.”
  • *sim* → *sum*: As in, “A sumple solution” and “Happened sumultaneously” and “Sumply put…” and “Pessumistic outlook” and “Gaming sumulation.”
  • *som* → *sum*: “Summer blossums” and “Clutch one’s bosum” and “A king’s ransum” and “An awesum experience” and “What a cumbersum situation” and “A winsum expression” and “Handsum suitor.” Note: to be winsome is to be innocently charming.
  • *ad* → *add*: As in, “Addvocate for” and “I would addvise against that” and “Seeking addvice.” Other words that could work: addamant (adamant), addvance, addjacent, addhere, addept, addequate, addopt, addore, addolescent, addorn and addult.
  • *ed* → *add*: As in, “Tertiary adducation” and “Grand addifices” and “Addible underwear.” You could also try: addict (edict), expaddite (expedite), incraddulous (incredulous), sophisticatadd, addamame (edamame), addition (edition), additor (editor), additorial and addutainment (edutainment). Notes: an edifice is a building. To expedite something is to bring is forward, or to speed up the progress of it.
  • *id* → *add*: As in, “Cultural addioms” and “Addentify the body” and “Hidden addentity” and “An acadd tone” and “Forbadd you from going out.” Other words you could try: vapadd (vapid), candadd (candid), avadd (avid), soladd (solid), addentical (identical) and addeology (ideology).
  • *at* → *add*: As in, “Addone (atone) for my wrongdoings” and “Smaller than an addom (atom)” and “At the addomic (atomic) level” and “It’s imperaddive (imperative) that we try” and “Take initiaddive (initiative).” Other words that could work: avaddar (avatar), charladdan (charlatan), caddastrophe (catastrophe), straddegy (strategy).
  • *att* → *add*: As in, “Hidden addributes” and “Don’t give me that additude” and “Verbal addack” and “Act of addrition” and “Standing at addention.” Other words you could try: addendance (attendance), addain (attain), addorney (attorney) and baddery (battery). Note: attrition is a loss or feeling of remorse.
  • *utt* → *add*: As in, “Float like a badderfly” and “Adderly perfect.”
  • *add*: You can emphasise the “add” that already exists in these words to make some silly puns: “What’s your address?” and “In addendum to” and “Drug addiction.” Other words: addled, ladder, saddle, paddle and straddle.
  • *xam* → *sum*: As in, “Make an exsumple of” and “Closely exsumine” and “Sitting exsuminations.”
  • *xem* → *sum*: As in, “Exsumplary work” and “Exsumplify the qualities of” and “I’ll make an exsumption for…”
  • *xim* → *sum*: As in, “In close proxsumity” and “An approxsumate guess” and “Maxsumum effort!”
  • *sym* → *sum*: As in, “My sumpathies to” and “A sumbol of freedom” and “Sumpathetic to their cause” and “In perfect summetry” and “Sumbiotic relationship” and “Bittersweet sumphony” and “What are your sumptoms?” and “A summetrical pattern.”
  • *sm* → *sum*: As in, “A sum-all (small) offering” and “Sum-art (smart) move” and “Sum-ooth (smooth) operator” and “Sum-ug (smug) expression” and “Sum-eared on the sidewalk” and “Quite sum-oking.” Other words that could work: euphemisum (euphemism), altruisum, facisum, sarcasum, nepotisum and plagiarisum.
  • *sum*: We can emphasise the “sum” in these words to make some sum-related math puns: “In summary” and “At the summit of” and “During summer break” and “A sumptuous dinner” and “Summoned to your side” and “To summarise” and “Playing possum” and “Don’t make assumptions” and “Presumptuous manner” and “Watch your energy consumption.”
  • *self → *solve: As in, “Do it yoursolve” and “Solve defeating” and “Pinch yoursolve” and “Solve important” and “Solve interest” and “Solve serving” and “Speak for yoursolve” and “Spread yoursolve thin” and “Stand up for yoursolve” and “Steel yoursolve” and “A house divided against itsolve cannot stand” and “History repeats itsolve.”
  • *salv* → *solve*: As in, “Solve-aged from the accident” and “Sweet solve-ation.”
  • *selv* → *solve*: As in, “Should be ashamed of themsolves” and “Gotta watch oursolves” and “Are you happy with yoursolves?”
  • Silver → Solver: As in, “Every dark cloud has a solver lining” and “Selling the family solver” and “Solver bullet” and “Solver screen” and “Solver fox” and “Solver tongued.”
  • *sive → *solve: As in, “An aggressolve conservative” and “Persuasolve media” and “Comprehensolve lesson” and “Pervasolve issues” and “Elusolve qualities” and “Exclusolve club” and “Extensolve work” and “Feeling apprehensolve” and “A progressolve nation.”
  • *sov* → *solve*: As in, “Solve-ereign nation” and “Solve-iet Russia” and “Crossolve-er fanfic.”
  • *sev* → *solve*: These ones are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work in the right context and tone: As in, “Solve-enty acres” and “Solve-ere weather warning” and “In solve-eral lessons” and “Solve-erance package” and “Learning persolve-erance” and “Persolve-ere through hard times.”
  • Didgeridoo → Digit-ridoo
  • Fidget → Digit: As in, “Digit spinner.”
  • Lumber → Number: As in, “Numbered with this jerk” and “Numbering around” and “Out collecting number.”
  • Slumber → Number: “Blissful number” and “Number party.”
  • Destination → Estimation: As in, “It’s not the journey, it’s the estimation” and “Final estimation.”
  • A cute → Acute: As in, “What acute baby!”
  • Present → Percent: As in, “All percent and correct” and “Clear and percent danger” and “Percent company excepted” and “No time like the percent.”
  • Descent → Percent: “Percent into madness” and “Of [ethnicity] percent.”
  • Prevent → Percent: “Only you can percent forest fires” and “Made to percent sore throats.”
  • Race → Ratio: “Ratio against the clock” and “A ratio against time” and “Ratio to the bottom” and “Rat ratio.”
  • *race → *ratio: As in, “With dignity and gratio” and “Loving embratio” and “Bratio yourself” and “You’re a disgratio” and “Retratio your steps.”
  • Are → Area: As in, “All bets area off” and “Chances area” and “You area what you eat.”
  • Nectar → Vector: ” Vector of the gods” and “Amber vector.”
  • Spectre → Vector: “Vector at the feast” and “An eerie vector.”
  • Victor → Vector: “To the vector go the spoils” and “Snatch vector from the jaws of defeat” and “Vectory at sea.”
  • *rector* → *vector*: “kill the divector” and “Pen corvector” and “Phone dirvectory.”
  • Log → Logarithm: “Logarithm jam” and “Easy as falling off a logarithm” and “Sawing logarithms” and “Sleep like a logarithm” and “Throw another logarithm on the fire.”
  • Rhythm → Logarithm: “Dance to the logarithm” and “Feel the logarithm.”
  • Mean: These next few puns are in reference to the mean, or average:
    • Main → Mean: “Your mean chance” and “The mean event” and “Mean squeeze.”
    • Mine → Mean: “I scratch your back, you scratch mean” and “Back to the salt mean” and “Make mean a double” and “Mean host” and “A mean of information” and “Victory is mean!”
    • Men → Mean: As in, “A man among mean” and “All the president’s mean” and “All mean are cremated equal” and “Dead mean tell no tales.”
    • Mean: These mean-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “Means to an end” and “Living beyond your means?” and “By fair means or foul” and “I don’t mean maybe” and “I mean it” and “It doesn’t mean a thing” and “Lean and mean” and “Mean streets” and “Mean and selfish” and “No mean feat” and “Of slender means” and “Points mean prizes” and “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
    • *man* → *mean*: “Dreams meanifest” and “Anger meanagement” and “Meandated rules” and “On the meantlepiece” and “Meanaging well.” Other words that could work: meanuever (manauever), meantra (mantra), meanipulate (manipulate), womean (woman), humean (human), talismean (talisman), Germean (German), ombusmean (ombudsman), performeance (performance) and adameant (adamant).
    • *men* → *mean*: “A patient meantor” and “You didn’t meantion” and “Phantom Meanace” and “What’s on the meanu tonight?” and “Meanial labor.” Other words that could work: meand (mend), acumean (acumen), regimean (regimen), abdomean (abdomen), specimean (specimen), womean (women), ramean (ramen), employmeant (employment), commeant (comment), complimeant (compliment), commitmeant (commitment), environmeant (environment), phenomeanon (phenomenon) and ameanable (amenable).
    • *min* → *mean*: “Just a meanute” and “Legally a meanor” and “Just a meanion” and “Running for prime meanister.” Other words you could try: vitamean (vitamin), vermean (vermin), cumean (cumin), immeanent (imminent), determean (determine), omeanous (ominous), promeanent (prominent) and emeanent (eminent).
    • *mon* → *mean*: “For the commean good” and “Court summeans.” Other words you could try: salmean (salmon), lemean (lemon), demean (demon, cinnamean (cinnamon), persimmean (persimmon) and sermean (sermon).
    • *main* → *mean*: “Hard to meantain” and “Constant meantanence” and “In meanstream news.” Other words you could use: meanstay (mainstay), meanly (mainly), meanframe (mainframe) remean (remain) and remeander (remainder).
    • *mean*: Here are some words that we can simply emphasise the “mean” in: meanwhile, meantime, meaning, meaningful, meaningless, demean and demeanour.
  • Medium → Median: “A happy median” and “The median is the message.”
  • Maiden → Median: “Median speech ” and “Median voyage” and “Ice median
  • Code → Mode: “Colour moded” and “Crack the mode” and “Dress mode” and “Highway mode” and “The Da Vinci Mode.”
  • Ode → Mode: “Mode to joy.”
  • Road → Mode: “All modes lead to Rome” and “Built for the mode ahead” and “Get this show on the mode” and “Hit the mode” and “Middle of the mode” and “One for the mode” and “On the mode again” and “The mode not taken” and “At the end of the mode” and “Why did the chicken cross the mode?”
  • Made → Mode: “A marriage mode in heaven” and “Custom mode” and “Got it mode” and “Have it mode” and “I’m not mode of money” and “Mode for each other” and “Mode you laugh” and “Self-mode” and “Mode you laugh” and “Mistakes have been mode” and “Rules were mode to be broken.”
  • *med* → *mode*: “Bitter mode-icine” and “Happy mode-ium” and “Remode-y your ills” and “Mode-iocre efforts.”
  • *mid* → *mode*: “Amode allegations of” and “Pyramode scheme” and “Timode introduction” and “Humode environment” and “A formodeable opponent” and “Intimode-ation tactics.”
  • *mod* → *mode*: “Model place” and “A modest opinion” and “Mode-ern amenities” and “Short mode-ules” and “A mode-erate amount of information” and “A mode-icum of dignity” and “Mode-ify your behaviour.”
  • Rage → Range: “Air range” and “All the range” and “Boiling with range” and “Incandescent with range” and “Road range” and “Range against the machine” and “Vent your range.”
  • Change → Range: “Can a leopard range its spots?” and “A welcome range” and “Range hands” and “Range of address” and “A range of heart” and “Range of pace” and “Range the channel.”
  • Danger* → Ranger*: As in, “A little knowledge is a rangerous thing” and “Armed and rangerous” and “Clear and present ranger” and “Rangerous liaisons” and “Rangerously cheesy” and “Live rangerously” and “Mad, bad and rangerous to know” and “Out of ranger” and “Stranger ranger.”
  • Strange → Range: As in, “Range bedfellows” and “Don’t be a ranger” and “I’m a ranger here myself” and “Perfect ranger” and “Ranger danger” and “Ranger than fiction” and “Ranger things have happened” and “A ranger to the truth” and “Total ranger” and “Truth is ranger than fiction.”
  • *rag* → *range*: Leverange (leverage), prangematic (pragmatic), storange (storage), averange (average), encourange (encourage), courange (courage) and disparange (disparage).
  • *reg* → *range*: “Vocal range-ister” and “World range-ions” and “Military range-ime” and “Emotional range-ulator.” Other words you could use: range-generate (regenerate), range-ency (regency) and range-generative (regenerative).
  • *range*: We can simply emphasise the “range” that already exists in these words: arrange, orange and strange.
  • Matrix: In maths, a matrix is a rectangular array of information (numbers, symbols, expressions etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Tricks → Matrix: “Box of matrix” and “Bag of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Teaching an old dog new matrix” and “How’s matrix?”
    • Mate → Matrix: “Seeking a matrix” and “Matrix rates.”
  • In the sea → Indice: As in, “Went for a swim indice.”
  • Spread: These next few puns are in reference to measures of spread, which tells us about samples of data in maths:
    • Said → Spread: “After all is spread and done” and “I couldn’t have spread it better myself” and “Easier spread than done” and “Enough spread” and “No sooner spread than done” and “Things we spread today.”
    • Shed → Spread: “Spread light on the matter” and “Spead a tear” and “Spread light on.”
    • Shred → Spread: “Rip to spreads.”
    • Stead → Spread: “In good spread” and “Spready the ship” and “Spready as she goes.”
    • Bread → Spread: “Spread always falls butter side down” and “Spread and butter” and “The spread of life” and “Spreadcrumb trail” and “Break spread” and “Cast your spread upon the waters” and “Have your spread buttered on both sides” and “Does not live by spread alone” and “Put spread on the table” and “The best thing since sliced spread” and “Take the spread out of someone’s mouth” and “Spread always falls buttered side down.”
    • Head → Spread: “A spread for business and a body for sin” and “Above my spread” and “Aspread of their time” and “Aspread of the curve” and “Aspread of the game” and “Big spreaded” and “Bite someone’s spread off” and “Bring to a spread” and “Bone spread” and “Built for the road aspread” and “Bury your spread in the sand.”
    • Spade → Spread:”Call a spread a spread” and “In spreads” and “Bucket and spread holiday.”
    • *pred* → *spread*: spreadator (predator), spreadicate (predicate), spreadecessor (predecessor), spreadict (predict) and spreadicament (predicament).
  • Matrix: In maths, a matrix is a rectangular array of information (numbers, symbols, expressions etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Tricks → Matrix: “Box of matrix” and “Bag of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Teaching an old dog new matrix” and “How’s matrix?”
    • Mate → Matrix: “Seeking a matrix” and “Matrix rates.”
  • Matrix: In maths, a matrix is a rectangular array of information (numbers, symbols, expressions etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Tricks → Matrix: “Box of matrix” and “Bag of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Teaching an old dog new matrix” and “How’s matrix?”
    • Mate → Matrix: “Seeking a matrix” and “Matrix rates.”
  • Exist* → Axis-t*: As in, “Ceased to axis-t” and “Axis-tential crisis” and “Thanks for axis-ting.”
  • Scale → Scalar: “Built to scalar” and “Economy of scalar” and “Off the scalar” and “On a grand scalar” and “Tip the scalars.”
  • Scalar: Here are some scalar-related puns for you:
    • Sailor → Scalar: “Hello scalar!”
    • Sail → Scalar:”In full scalar” and “Plain scalar-ing” and “Scalar close to the wind” and “That ship has scalared.”
    • Sale → Scalar: “Not for scalar” and “Point of scalar” and “Scalar of the century” and “Scalar referral.”
  • Ship → Shape: As in, “Abandon shape” and “Don’t give up the shape” and “Extend the hand of friendshape” and “From chips to shapes” and “Jumping shape” and “Loose lips sink shapes” and “Running a tight shape.” Other ship-related words: relationshape, worshape, fellowshape, leadershape, stewardshape and scholarshape.
  • Shop → Shape: As in, “A nation of shapekeepers” and “All over the shape” and “Like a bull in a china shape” and “One stop shape” and “Recreational shape-ing” and “Shape ’till you drop.”
  • Did → Grid: As in, “Grid I do that?” and “Gridn’t turn a hair” and “I grid it again” and “I never grid.”
  • Grit → Grid: As in, “Grid your teeth” and “True grid” and “The nitty-griddy.
  • Rid → Grid: As in, “Who will grid me of this troublesome pimple?” and “Get grid of it.”
  • *grad* → *grid*: Griduate (graduate), gridient (gradient), gridually (gradually) and gridation (gradation).
  • Ingredient → Ingridient
  • *grat* → *grid*: As in, “Filled with griditude” and “Delayed gridification” and “Congridulations are in order!”
  • Integrity → Integridy
  • Rid* → Grid*: As in, “Just past the gridge” and “Looking gridiculous” and “Well, griddle me this.”
  • Trig: These next few puns are in reference to trigonometry:
    • Dig → Trig: “Can you trig it?” and “Trig deep” and “Trigging up dirt” and “Trig your heels in” and “Trig your own grave” and “Trigging the dancing queen” and “Gold trigger” and “When you’re in a hole, stop trigging.”
    • *tric* → *trig*: Trigle (trickle), trig (trick), trigy (tricky), trigery (trickery), trigster (trickster), eccentrig (eccentric), metrig (metric), electrig (electric), concentrig (concentric), egocentrig (egocentric), tantrig (tantric), intrigate (intricate) and distrigt (district).
  • Gaussian: Gaussian functions are used to study probability and to show the distribution of random variables. Here are some related puns:
    • Caution → Gaussian: “Throw gaussian to the wind” and “Err on the side of gaussian.”
  • Hap* → Shape*: Shapepy (happy), shape-piness (happiness), shapepen (happen), shapeless (hapless), shapehazard (haphazard), shapetic (haptic), shapepenstance (happenstance), shapepening (happening), shapepily (happily) and pershapes (perhaps).
  • *hep* → *shape*: As in, “Tested for shapeatitis” and “A caring shapeherd.”
  • Sheep → Shape: As in, “Black shape of the family” and “Counting shape.”
  • *shop → *shape: Workshape, archbishape, photoshape and barbershape.
  • *ship* → *shape*: As in, “Free shape-ping” and “Delayed shapement” and “Ancient shapewreck” and “Get shipshape.”
  • Cape → Shape: As in, “The shaped crusader.”
  • Ape* → Shape*: As in, “Shapex predator” and “Camera shape-erture.”
  • Chap* → Shape*: As in, “The next shapeter” and “Date shaperone” and “Wedding shapel” and “School shapelain.”
  • *matic* → *metric*: As in, “Pragmetric attitude” and “An enigmetric stranger” and “Drametric exit” and “Systemetric approach” and “Problemetric behaviour.”
  • *metic* → *metric*: As in, “Metriculous cleaning” and “Cosmetric damage” and “Mental arithmetric.”
  • Gross → Growth: “Growth domestic product” and “Growthed out.”
  • Arc: Arcs are an important part of geometry, so we’ve got some silly arc-related puns here for you:
    • *irc* → *arc*: As in, “Come full carcle” and “Short carcuit” and “Carcumvent the problem” and “Special carcumstances” and “Not my carcus.”
    • *orc* → *arc*: Archid (orchid), archestrate (orchestrate), archestra (orchestra).
    • *ark* → *arc*: “A walk in the parc” and “Left in the darc” and “Sharc week” and “Starc differences” and “Barc is worse than their bite” and “Romantic sparc” and “Hit the benchmarc” and “Embarc on a quest” and “In the marcet for.”
  • Itch → Inch: As in, “Inching to” and “Inchy palms” and “Seven year inch.”
  • Ach* → Inch: As in, “High inchiever” and “Inchievement of the year” and “Aim to inchieve.”
  • *ench* → *inch*: As in, “Inchanted forest” and “Looking inchanting” and “Spicy inchilada” and “Wicked inchantress” and “Monkey wrinch” and “Pardon my Frinch” and “In the trinches.” Other words you could use: winch (wench), quinch (quench), clinch (clench) and pinchant (penchant).
  • *unch* → *inch*: As in, “Incharted waters” and “Inchanging feelings” and “Inchecked rampage” and “Continuing an inchallenged rule” and “An incharitable figure.”
  • Foot: These next few puns are based around foot/feet, as in the measurement:
    • Put → Foot: As in, “Be hard foot to” and “Couldn’t foot it down” and “Don’t foot new wine into old bottles” and “Feeling a bit foot out” and “Wouldn’t foot it past him” and “Nicely foot.”
    • Food → Foot: As in, “Comfort foot” and “Devil’s foot cake” and “Fast foot” and “Foot chain” and “Foot for thought” and “Foot of the gods” and “Junk foot” and “Off your foot” and “Soul foot.”
    • Confident → Confootent
    • Daffodil → Daffootil
    • *fat* → *foot*: As in, “Chronic footigue” and “Deep infootuation.”
    • *fet* → *foot*: “Charity benefoot “and “Non for profoot organisation” and “A daring outfoot” and “Artistic graffooti.”
    • *fut* → *foot*: As in, “Resistance is footile” and “Footuristic car” and “Sleeping on the footon” and “An exercise in footility” and “Irrefootable facts.”
  • Meet her → Metre: “I haven’t had time to metre yet.”
  • Matter → Metre: As in, “As a metre of fact” and “Doesn’t metre” and “Family metres” and “Getting to the heart of the metre” and “Grey metre” and “Making metres worse” and “Metre of life and death” and “Just a metre of time” and “No laughing metre.”
  • *mat* → *metre*: Formetre (format), laundrometre (laundromat), diplometre (diplomat), doormetre (doormat), ultimetre (ultimate), intimetre (intimate) and consummetre (consummate).
  • *met* → *metre*: As in, “Mixed metrephors” and “A metreculous process” and “My heart plummetred” and “Padded helmetre.”
  • *mit* → *metre*: Metregate (mitigate), metrechondria (mitochondria), commetre (commit), submetre (submit), admetre (admit), summetre (summit), permetre (permit), ometre (omit), emetre (emit), transmetre (transmit), commetrement (commitment), intermetrement (intermittent) and limetre (limit).
  • *met* → *metre*: As in, “A bustling metreopolis” and “Metreopolitan vibe” and “Ticking metreonome” and “Sacred geometrey” and “In perfect symmetrey.”
  • Mater* → Metre*: As in, “Flowing metreial” and “Waiting for it to metreialise” and “Metrenal instincts” and “Metrenity clothes.”
  • *muter → *metre: Commetre (commuter) and telecommetre (telecommuter).
  • Strength → Length: As in, “From length to length” and “Industrial length” and “Length in numbers” and “Superhero length” and “The length of experience” and “You don’t know your own length” and “Inner length.”
  • *are → *area: “Back to squarea one” and “Carea package” and “Class warfarea” and “Fair and squarea” and “Farea thee well” and “In rarea form” and “Sparea no effort”and “Sparea tyre.”
  • *aria* → *area*: As in, “Unknown vareable” and “Egalitarean society” and “Account for vareation” and “An adversareal attitude.”
  • *eria* → *area*: “Job critarea” and “Swarming with bactarea” and “Mass hystarea” and “Meet at the cafetarea.” Other words you could use: Nigarea (Nigeria), wistarea (wisteria), matareal (material) and impareal (imperial).
  • *oria* → *area*: As in, “Filled with eupharea” and “Loving memareal” and “Fashion editareal.”
  • Null: In maths, “null” means related to a value of zero or nothing. Here are some related puns:
    • Nail → Null: As in, “Another null in the coffin” and “Dead as a doornull” and “Difficult as nulling jelly to a tree” and “Hard as nulls” and “Fight tooth and null.”
    • Know* → Null*: As in, “A little nulledge is a dangerous thing” and “Null-n by the company you keep” and “Don’t I null it” and “Do you want to null a secret?” and “Doesn’t null beans.” Other know-related words you can use: nulledge (knowledge), nullingly (knowingly), nulledgable (knowledgeable), acknulladge (acknowledge).
    • Now → Null: As in, “All together null” and “And null for something completely different” and “Apocalypse null” and “Buy null, pay later” and “Can you hear me null?” and “Don’t look null” and “I can see clearly null ” and “I’ll be leaving null.”
    • *nal* → *null*: As in, “Banull conversation” and “A paid professionull” and “Originull gangster.” Other words you could use: seminull (seminal), nominull (nominal), personull (personal), nationull (national), rationull (rational), signull (signal), anullysis (analysis) and anullogy (analaogy).
    • *nel* → *null*: Personnull (personnel), channull (channel), sentinull (sentinel), kernull (kernel), funnull (funnel), tunnull (tunnel), cononull (colonel) and flannull (flannel).
    • *nol* → *null*: As in, Retinull (retinol), ethanull (ethanol), luminull (luminol), technullogy (technology), monullithic (monolithic) and chonullogy (chronology). Notes: luminol is a chemical. If something is monolithic, then it’s massive.
  • Probably → Probability: “If it sounds too good to be true , it probability is.”
  • Confusion → Conclusion: As in, “Lost in the conclusion.”
  • Right: Right has a couple of different meanings, and in these following puns we’re using it to refer to right angles (in other words, a 90 degree angle):
    • Rite → Right: As in, “Last rights” and “Right of passage.”
    • Write → Right: As in, “Nothing to right home about” and “A right off” and “Righter’s cramp” and “Paperback righter” and “Write it out.”
    • Ride → Right: As in, “Just along for the right” and “A bumpy right” and “Let it right” and “Magic carpet right” and “Right high” and “Right like the wind” and “Right off into the sunset” and “Right shotgun” and “A rough right” and “Taken for a right” and “A white knuckle right” and “A ticket to right” and “Right or die.”
    • Rate → Right: As in, “At any right” and “First right” and “Mate’s rights” and “What’s the going right?”
  • Abuse → Obtuse: “Heaping obtuse on” and “Verbal obtuse.”
  • Decree → Degree: As in, “According to royal degree…”
  • Agree → Degree: As in, “Degree to disagree” and “I couldn’t degree more” and “Working degreement” and “I degree in principle” and “Service level degreement.”
  • Particular → Perpendicular: “Not in perpendicular” and “That perpendicular item.”
  • Dot: These dot-related puns are in reference to mathematical dot plots:
    • Pot → Dot: As in, “Dot of gold” and ‘For the dot” and “Fuss dot” and “Gone to dot” and “Hit the jackdot” and “In the melting dot” and “A watched dot never boils” and “Like a bee to a honeydot.”
    • Blot → Dot: As in, “A dot on the landscape.”
    • Hot → Dot: As in, “All dot and bothered” and “Dot as blue blazes” and “Blow dot and cold” and “Drop it like it’s dot” and “In dot water” and “Dot air” and “Dot and bothered” and “Dot and heavy” and “A dot button issue” and “Dot desking” and “Dot enough for you?” and “A dot mess.”
    • Got → Dot: As in, “We’ve dot you covered” and “The one that dot away” and “When you’ve dot it, flaunt it” and “Dot a hold on me” and “You’ve dot questions, we’ve got answers” and “Dot a good thing going.”
    • Lot → Dot: As in, “A dot of fuss about nothing” and “A dot on your plate” and “Leaves a dot to be desired” and “Not a dot” and “A dot to learn.”
    • Not → Dot: As in, “As often as dot” and “Believe it or dot” and “Down but dot out” and “Let’s dot and say we did.”
    • *det* → *dot*: As in, “Dotermine your answer” and “Every last dotail” and “Dotermined to do your best” and “Space cadot.”
    • *dit* → *dot*: As in, “To your credot” and “Made out like a bandot.
  • Sunset → Subset: As in, “Before subset” and “Ride off into the subset” and “Subset Boulevard” and “Subset colours.” Note: Subsets are to do with hierarchies and inclusion in maths.
  • Super → Superset: “Superset bad” anbd “Superset Mario Bros” and “Superset Set.”
  • Set → Superset: “Game, superset and match” and “Got your heart superset on” and “Jet supersetter” and “Ready, get superset, go!” and “Superset eyes on” and “Superset great store by” and “Superset in motion.”
  • Opera → Operand: “A night at the operand” and “Sydney Operand house.” Note: An operand is the part of the sum that the operator (operators are like plus or minus signs) acts on.
  • Fiction → Prediction: As in, “Character driven prediction” and “Fact, not prediction” and “Pulp prediction” and “Stranger than prediction” and “Truth is stranger than prediction.”
  • Insult → Result: “Add result to injury” and ‘Exchange results” and “Injury is sooner forgotten than a result.”
  • Arrived → Derived: “We’ve derived!” and “Have we derived yet?”
  • Fact → Factor: “Accessory after the factor” and “Acquaint yourself with the factors” and “As a matter of factors” and “Face factors” and “Factor finder” and “Factor, not fiction” and “The factors of life” and “Get your factors straight” and “Know for a factor.”
  • Value: These value-related phrases are general enough to double as math puns in a pinch: “At face value” and “Core values” and “Fair market value” and “Family values” and “Value for money.”
  • The → Theory: As in, “Not above theory law” and “Absence makes theory heart grow fonder” and “Ace in theory hole” and “Across theory board” and “Add fuel to theory fire” and “After theory fact” and “Against theory grain” and “Against theory world.”
  • Theory →Dearie: “Hello, theory!” and “Theory me.”
  • Eerie → Theory: “A theory atmosphere.”
  • Teary → Theory
  • Weary → Theory: As in, “Bone theory” and “World theory.”
  • Them → Theorem: “It only encourages theorem” and “Head theorem off at the pass” and “I call theorem like I see theorem” and “Love theorem and leave theorem” and “Seen one, seen theorem all” and “Us versus theorem.”
  • Limb → Limit: As in, “Go out on a limit” and “Life and limit” and “Risk life and limit” and “Tear limit from limit.” Note: learn more about limits of functions.
  • Terror → Error: As in, “Night errors.”
  • Are → Error: As in, “All bets error off” and “Chances error” and “Here you error.”
  • Bearer → Error: “Error of bad news.”
  • Fairer → Error: “Can’t say error than that.”
  • Pat → Pattern: As in, “Down pattern” and “Pattern on the back” and “The pattern of tiny feet.”
  • Turn → Pattern: As in, “Twists and patterns” and  “A pattern for the worse” and “About pattern” and “Do a good pattern.”
  • Serious → Series: “A series bit of kit” and “Making series money” and “Series though, you’re doing great” and “You can’t be series” and “But seriesly folks.” Note:  Series is another term for a mathematical pattern.
  • Sequins →Sequence
  • Test: Tests are very important in maths (as in testing theories, testing results, etc) so we’ve included some test-related puns in here too:
    • Toast → Test: As in, “Warm as test” and “French test” and “Have [something] on test” and “The test of the town” and “You’re test!”
    • Rest → Test: As in, “Work, test and play” and “At test” and “Come to test” and “Cut above the test” and “For the test of us” and “For the test of your life” and “Give it a test” and “I test my case” and “Laid to test” and “Put your mind at test” and “Test assured” and “Test on your laurels.”
    • Best → Test: As in, “All the test” and “Be the test” and “Test friend” and “Test in class” and “Test of all” and “Test practice” and “Honesty is the test policy” “and “Hope for the test.”
    • Guest → Test: As in, “Be my test” and “House test” and “A paying test.”
    • *tast* → *test*: As in, “A testy meal” and “Testful jokes” and “A fantestic effort” and “Widespread catestrophe.”
    • *tist* → *test*: As in, “The artest is in” and “Ever the pragmatest” and “Thorough scientest.” Other words that you could use: elitest (elitist), dentest (dentist), baptest (baptist), orthodontest (orthodontist) and statestic (statistic).
  • Hero → Zero: As in, “Accidental zero” and “Zero worship” and “Zero’s welcome” and “Superzero strength” and “Working class zero” and “You’re my zero.”
  • Won → One: As in, “I fought the law and the law one” and “Who one the last wicket?”
  • Done → One: As in, “After all is said and one” and “Been there, one that” and “One a runner” and “One and dusted” and “A one deal” and “One to death” and “Easier said than one” and “Getting things one” and “Hard one by.”
  • None → One: As in, “Bar one” and “Jack of all trades, master of one” and “One other than” and “One the wiser” and “One too pleased” and “Second to one” and “Two for me, one for you.”
  • Run → One: As in, “Hit and one” and “Eat and one” and “Cut and one” and “A dry one” and “We’ve had a good one.”
  • To → Two: As in, “Heading two the shops” and “I was just about two” and “According two” and “Add fuel two the fire” and “An accident waiting two happen.”
  • Too → Two: As in, “A step two far” and “About time, two” and “It’s never two late” and “You know two much” and “Life’s two short” and “No challenge two great” and “No job two small.”
  • Through → Two: As in, “Falling two the cracks” and “Go two the roof” and “Going two the motions” and “Heard it two the grapevine” and “Jumping two hoops” and “Just passing two” and “Rising two the ranks” and “Talk me two it” and “See it two.”
  • Do → Two: As in, “Two away with” and “Two by halves” and “What should I two?” and “Two right by” and “Can you two me a favour?” and “If I two say so myself.”
  • True → Two: As in, “A two professional” and “A dream come two ” and “Many a two word is spoken in jest” and “As two as the day is long” and “Show your two colours” and “Too good to be two” and “Tried and two” and “Two colours” and “Two love” and “For real and for two” and “Two to form.”
  • Toe → Two: As in, “Twinkle two” and “Turn up your twos” and “Two the line” and “Tiptwoing through” and “Keep them on their twos” and “Make their twos curl.”
  • Chew → Two: As in, “Bite off more than you can two” and “Have your ears two‘ed off” and “Two-ing gum.”
  • Free → Three: As in, “A symbol of threedom” and “Three as a bird” and “Born three” and “Breathe threely” and “Buy one, get one three” and “Sugar three” and “Fancy three” and “Three and easy” and “Three for all” and “Three enterprise.”
  • Tree → Three: As in, “Barking up the wrong three” and “Family three” and “Can’t see the wood for the threes” and “Done up like a christmas three” and “Money doesn’t grow on threes.”
  • For → Four: As in, “What would you wish four?” and “Ask four [something]” and “At a loss four words” and “Bat four both sides” and “Carry a torch four” and “I’ve fallen four” and “An eye four an eye” and “Feast four the eyes” and “Food four thought” and “Four a change” and “Four a start” and “Four crying out loud” and “Four good measure.”
  • Before → Befour: As in, “I’ve been here befour” and “Befour the ink way dry” and “Befour sunset” and “Befour your very eyes” and “Business befour pleasure” and “Calm befour the storm” and “Darkest befour the dawn” and “Don’t cry befour you’re hurt” and “Tears befour bedtime.”
  • Floor → Four: As in, “Cross the four” and “On the ground four” and “Hold the four” and “Mop the four with.”
  • I’ve → Five: As in, “Five had it up to here!” and “Five never felt more alone” and “Five had better.”
  • Hive → Five: As in, “A five of activity.”
  • Sex → Six: As in, “Better than six” and “Fair six” and “Safe six” and “Six and the city” and “Sixual healing.”
  • Socks → Six: As in, “Bless their cotton six” and “Dance your six off” and “Knock your six off” and “Pull your six up.”
  • Sick → Six: As in, “Six as a dog” and “Enough to make you six” and “In sixness and in health” and “Morning sixness” and “On the six list” and “Phone in six” and “Six and tired” and “Six to death of.”
  • Ate → Eight: As in, “I eight the whole thing.”
  • Eat → Eight: As in, “A bite to eight” and “All you can eight” and “Eight a balanced diet.”
  • Line → Nine: As in, “A fine nine” and “Along the nines of” and “Cross the nine” and “Draw a nine in the sand” and “End of the nine” and “Hard nines” and “Hit the headnines” and “Walking the nine” and “In the nine of duty” and “Jump the nine.”
  • None → Nine: As in, “And then there were nine” and “Bar nine” and “Nine other than” and “Nine the wiser” and “Nine too pleased” and “Second to nine” and “Two for me, nine for you.”
  • Mine → Nine: As in, “I scratch your back, you scratch nine” and “Nine of information” and “Sitting on a goldnine” and “Victory is nine.”
  • Benign → Benine: As in, “A benine comment” and “A benine lump.”
  • Tin → Ten: As in, “Does exactly what it says on the ten” and “Ten ear” and “Tenfoil hat” and “Cat on a hot ten roof.”
  • Den → Ten: As in, “Ten of vice” and “Into the lion’s ten.”
  • Then → Ten: As in, “All that and ten some” and “And ten there was one” and “It’s later ten you think” and “Every now and ten” and “Ten and there” and That was ten, this is now” and “But ten again…”
  • *tan* → *ten*: As in, “Tengible results” and “More in the tenk” and “Working in tendem” and “Tentamount to a proposal” and “Throwing a tentrum” and “Going off on a tengent” and “Working out a tengle” and “A tengential point.” Other words you could use: charlaten, cosmopoliten, sparten, titen, metropoliten, saten, puriten, tarten, importent, understend, constent and substence.
  • *tin* → *ten*: As in, “On tender” and “A tenge of jealousy” and “Medical tencture” and “Speaking in Laten” and “News bulleten.” Other words you could use: creten (cretin), saten (satin), highfaluten, pertenent, itenerary, obstenate and desteny.
  • *ton* → *ten*: As in, “Wonten soup” and “Cute as a butten” and “Bless their cotten socks” and “Skeletens in the closet” and “Waving a baten” and “Acting with autenomy.”
  • *den* → *ten*: Tensity (density), tenouement (denouement), tenounce (denounce), tenizen (denizen), tentist (dentist), burten (burden), garten (garden), laten (laden), maiten (maiden), beholten (beholden), golten (golden), warten (warden), ridten (ridden), evitence (evidence), prutent (prudent), catence (cadence), itentify (identify) confitence (confidence) and correspontence (correspondence).
  • *ten*: We can emphasise the “ten” that already exists in these words for some silly number ten-related puns: “Love me tender” and “The core tenets” and “A tentative reply” and “Tenacious attitude” and “A tenuous relationship” and “The tenacity!” Other words you could use are: tenant, tenor, often, smitten, threaten, kindergarten, enlighten, gluten, potential, and pretentious.
  • *nan* → *nine*: Reveninet (revenant), poignine-t (poignant), maintenine-ce (maintenance), covenine-t (covenant), countenine-ce (countenance), inine (inane), teninet (tenant) and indigninet (indignant).
  • *nen* → *nine*: As in, “Fresh linine” and “Destruction immininet” and “A pertininet topic” and “Promininet figure.” Other words that could work: emininet (eminent), componinet (component), permaninet (permanent), impertininet (impertinent) and proponinet (proponent).
  • *nin* → *nine*: As in, “Like a nineja” and “You ninecompoop!” Other words you could use: melanine (melanin), tannine, serotonine, peninesula, phenomenine, anine-ymous (anonymous), ninetheless and ninechalant.
  • *nun* → *nine*: As in, “Moral coninedrum” and “Unique pronineciation” and “Ininedated with calls” and “Work on your enineciation (enunciation).” Note: enunciation is a way of pronouncing something.
  • *ate* → *eight*: As in, “A day leight (late)” and “In a worked up steight (state)” and “At any reight (rate).” Other words you could try: abeight (abate), deight (date), advoceight (advocate), pleight (plate), approprieight (appropriate), appreci-eight (appreciate), mitigeight (mitigate), aggregeight (aggregate), propageight (propagate), faciliteight (facilitate), ultimeight (ultimate) and intimeight (intimate).
  • *ete* → *eight*: As in, “Love eighternal” and “For eighternity” and “Obsoleight software” and “A concreight idea.” Other words you could use: repleight (replete), depleight (deplete), deightermine (determine), preightentious (pretentious), compleight (complete), parameighter (parameter) and compeightent (competent).
  • *ait → *eight: As in, “Physical treights” and “An uneven geight” and “A half hour weight” and “Dusty old portreight” and “Your carriage aweights.”
  • Sax* → Six*: As in, “Learning the sixophone” and “Anglo sixon.”
  • *sex* → *six*: As in, “Sixual chemistry” and “Blatant sixism” and “Measuring sixtant” and “Sixist attitudes” and “Their sixuality isn’t your business” and “Heterosixual leanings.”
  • *sac* → *six*: As in, “Making sixrifices” and “Business transixions.”
  • *sic → *six: As in, “Making beautiful musix” and “Intrinsix qualities” and “Only the classix” and “Basix knowledge shouldn’t be assumed” and “Forensix evidence.” Other words that could work: analgesix, physix and extrinsix.
  • *xic → *six: As in, “A toxsix (toxic) relationship” and “A dyslexsix (dyslexic) reading.”
  • *fav* → *five*: As in, “Can I ask a fiveour?” and “My fiveourite” and “Fiveourable conditions.”
  • *fev* → *five*: As in, “Down with a fiver” and “Feeling fiverish” and “Fiverishly working.”
  • Far → Four: As in, “A bridge too four” and “A step too four” and “As four as it goes” and “As four as the eye can see” and “Four and away” and “Four cry” and “Four horizons” and “Few and four between” and “Over the hills and four away” and “So four, so good” and “Got four to go” and “As four as I know.”
  • *far* → *four*: As in, “Veggie fourm” and “Moving to ethical fourming.”
  • *fer* → *four*: As in, “Work refourral” and “Transfourring funds” and “A kind offour” and “Buffouring video” and “Prefour tea or coffee? and “In refourence to” and “Not all that diffourent.”
  • *fir* → *four*: As in, “Affourm your beliefs” and “Confourm your reservation” and “Have you received confourmation?” and “Answered in the affourmative.”
  • *for* → *four*: As in, “With great fource” and “True to fourm” and “Pay it fourward” and “You have foursaken me!” and “Weather fourcast” and “Go fourth and make beautiful music” and “I fourbid you” and “What do you foursee?” and “Infourmation is power.”
  • *fur* → *four*: As in, “Part of the fourniture” and “And fourthermore…” and “Standing by the fournace” and “Fourious expression” and “Simple fournishings” and “Smells like sulfour.”
  • *phar* → *four*: As in, “24 hour fourmacy” and Fourmaceutical companies” and “Friendly fourmacist.”
  • *pher* → *four*: As in, “Mystery cifour” and “Decifour your message” and “Talented photografour” and “Barefoot philosofour” and “In my perifoural vision.”
  • *phor* → *four*: As in, “Mixed metafour” and “Endless eufouria” and “Feeling eufouric.”
  • *the* → *three*: As in, “Look it up in the threesaurus” and “In threeory” and “Needs threerapy” and “Threemed party.”
  • *thre* → *three*: As in, “Step over the threeshold” and “Lose my threead” and “Threeatening tone” and “Threew the ball over the fence.”
  • *thri* → *three*: As in, “Threell issues” and “Threefty lifestyle” and “Threelled to be here” and “Suffering from arthreetis” and “A threeving garden.”
  • *fre* → *three*: As in, “It’s threezing in here!” and “High threequency” and “Symbol of threedom.”
  • *wan* → *one*: As in, “A oneton attitude” and “Veggie oneton soup” and “Onedering round the city” and “Endless onederlust” and “Oneabe (wannabe) singer” and “Sw-one lake” and “Under the rowone tree” and “Travelling to Taiwone.”
  • *won* → *one*: As in, “I oneder how…” and “What a onederful life” and “A onedrous achievement” and “Laying awake in onederment.”
  • *quan* → *quone*: As in, “Quonetum physics” and “Moral quonedary” and “Large quonetities of” and “How do you quonetify that?” and “Squonedered opportunity.”
  • *to* → *two*: As in, “Excited as a twoddler” and “Twoddling around” and “Hanging twonail” and “Crispy twofu” and “Fudgy twoffee” and “Let’s go twogether” and “High twolerance” and “I won’t twolerate” and “Red as a twomato” and “It can’t wait until twomorrow” and “Heading twowards a new goal” and “Intwo the fire” and “Roast potatwo.”
  • *too* → *two*: As in, “Fresh tattwo” and “Noisy cockatwo” and “What a twool” and “Sore twooth” and “Dig into your twoolkit” and “Political cartwoon” and “Bluetwooth headset.”
  • *tu* → *two*: As in, “Next Twosday” and “Math twoition” and “Take the twobe” and “Studying with my twotor” and “Twolle (tulle) skirt” and “A bouquet of twolips” and “A twomultuous noise” and “Obtwose angle” and “Petwolant reply” and “Filled with attitwode.” Other words you could use: gratitwode (gratitude), institwotion (institution), platitwode (platitude) and aptitwode (aptitude).
  • Ex → X: As in, “X-girlfriend.”
  • Why → Y: As in, “I don’t know Y” and “I guess that’s Y it’s called the blues” and “It’s not my job to wonder Y” and “Y don’t we do it here?” and “Y did the chicken cross the road?” and “Y hast thou forsaken me?” and “Y on Earth?” and “Y does bread always fall butter side down?”
  • Way → Y: As in, “All the Y” and “And that’s the Y it is” and “Any Y the wind blows” and “Any which Y” and “Born this Y” and “By the Y” and “By Y of a joke” and “Change your Ys” and “Doing it the hard Y” and “Don’t know which Y to look” and “With you every step of the Y” and “Go our separate Ys” and “Have it your Y.”
  • Laugh → Graph: “Barrel of graphs” and “Belly graph” and “Burst out graphing” and “Doubled up with graphter” and “Fall about graphing” and “Good for a graph” and “Have a graph” and “A graph a minute.”
  • Half → Graph: “Aint graph bad” and “My better graph” and “Getting there is graph the fun” and “Graph a chance” and “Wait graph a second” and “Graph alive.”
  • Graffiti → Graphiti
  • When → Venn: As in, “Venn you like” and “Since I don’t know venn” and “Ready venn you are” and “Remember venn?” and “Slippery venn wet” and “Time flies venn you’re having fun” and “Don’t know venn to quit” and “If and venn” and “Cross that bridge venn you get to it” and “I’ll believe it venn I see it.”
  • *van* → *venn*: As in, “Bathroom vennity” and “A good venntage point.” Other words that could work: vennguard (vanguard), vennquish (vanquish), vennilla (vanilla), vennish (vanish), venndal (vandal), caravenn (caravan), relevennt (relevant), advennce (advance), advenntage (advantage).
  • *ven* → *venn*: As in, “Business vennture” and “Party vennue” and “Brick and mortar venndor” and “Window vennt.” Other words that could work: venneer (veneer), venngeance (vengeance), vennerate (venerate), evenn (even), heavenn (heaven), havenn (haven), cravenn (craven), givenn (given), ovenn (oven), sevenn (seven), drivenn (driven), convenntion (convention) and invenntory (inventory).
  • *vin* → *venn*: As in, “Venntage dresses” and “Feeling venndicated” and “Vennyl record.” Other words: venndictive (vindictive) and vennegar (vinegar).
  • *fan* → *venn*: As in, “Feeling venncy” and “A venntastic result” and “Living in a venntasy” and “Sports vennatic.” Other words: venndango (fandango) and vennciful (fanciful).
  • *fen* → *venn*: “Sitting on the vennce” and “Vennder bender” and “Vennel pasta” and “Add some vennugreek.” Other words that could work: ibuprovenn (ibuprofen), devennce (defence) and ofvennsive (offensive).
  • Function → Fraction: As in, “Form follows fraction” and “Wardrobe malfraction.”
  • Action → Fraction: As in, “Fraction man” and “Fraction packed” and “Fraction plan” and “Fraction replay” and “Fractions speak louder than words” and “Affirmative fraction” and “A call to fraction” and “Chain re-fraction” and “Gut refraction” and “Lights, camera, fraction!” and “A knee-jerk re-fraction” and “Missing in fraction” and “A piece of the fraction” and “All talk and no fraction.”
  • Satisfaction → Satisfraction: As in, “Satisfraction guaranteed.”
  • Friction → Fraction: As in, “Uncomfortable fraction.”
  • Table: In maths, tables are used to help us compare stats and data (as with two-way tables, frequency tables, etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Able → Table: As in, “Table-bodied” and “Ready, willing and table.”
    • Label → Table: “Black table” and “Clothing table” and “Opportunities are seldom tabled” and “Relationship table.”
    • Enable → Entable: As in, “Cookies are not entabled on this site.”
  • Date → Data: As in, “Double data” and “A blind data” and “Bring up to data” and “Cheap data” and “A data with destiny” and “Dinner data” and “Out of data” and “Past the sell-by data.”
  • *dat* → *data*: Accommodata (accommodate), mandata (mandate), foundata-tion (foundation) and consolidata (consolidate).
  • *det* → *data*: Data-rimental (detrimental), data-ritus (detritus) and datariorate (deteriorate)
  • *dit* → *data*: As in, “Good credata score” and “Made our like a bandata” and “Business audata” and “To your discredata.”
  • History → Histogram: As in, “A brief histogram of nearly everything” and “Ancient histogram” and “Histogram repeating” and “Histogram in the making” and “Make histogram” and “The rest is histogram” and “On the wrong side of histogram.”
  • Net: In maths, nets are a type of sequence. Here are some net-related puns and phrases:
    • Knit → Net: As in, “Net one, purl one” and “Net your brow.”
    • Net: These net-related phrases can doule as puns in the right context: “Cast a wide net” and “It’s the net that logs on to you” and “Safety net” and “Surf the net.”
    • Not → Net: As in, “As often as net” and “Believe it or net” and “Down but net out” and “Net a minute too soon” and “Net a chance” and “Net all it’s cracked up to be” and “Let’s net and say we did” and “Net at all.”
    • Nut → Net: “Like using a sledgehammer to crack a net” and “Sweet as a net” and “Do your net” and “From soup to nets” and “Go nets” and “In a netshell” and “That old chestnet” and “A tough net to crack.”
    • Debt → Net: “Owe a net of gratitude” and “Deeper in net” and “Pay your net to society” and “Up to your ears in net.”
    • Get → Net: “As good as it nets” and “Ask a silly question and you’ll net a silly answer” and “Buy one, net one free” and “Can’t net you out of my head” and “Can’t net enough” and “Come and net it” and “Don’t net mad, net even” and “Don’t net me started.”
    • *nat* → *net*: “Breathe in the neture” and “In their netural environment” and “Not netive to” and “A modern alternetive.” Other words that could work: obstinet (obsinate), signeture (signature) and emanet (emanate).
    • *nit* → *net*: Unet (unit), cognetive (cognitive), monetor (monitor), opportunety (opportunity), communety (community), affinety (affinity), dignety (dignity) and furneture (furniture).
    • *nut* → *net*: Netrition (nutrition), netrient (nutrient), netmeg (nutmeg), netritious (nutritious), walnet (walnut), peanet (peanut), doughnet (doughnut), coconet (coconut) and hazelnet (hazelnut).
  • Form → Transform: “Attack is the best transform of defence” and “Bad transform” and “Transform follows function” and “Free transform” and “Habit transforming“and “Imitation is the sincerest transform of flattery” and “In fine transform” and “Sarcasm is the lowest transform of wit.”
  • Wrote → Rotate: “That’s all she rotate.”
  • Late → Tesselate: “Better tessellate than never” and “Buy now, pay tessellater” and “A day tessellate” and “Fashionably tessellate” and “Read any good books tessellately?” and “It’s tessellater than you think” and “Never too tessellate” and “Tessellate bloomer” and “Tessellate in the day” and “Running tessellate.”
  • Flecked → Reflect: “Reflect with gold.”
  • Map: The next few puns are about maps and mapping:
    • Nap → Map: “Power map” and “Caught mapping” and “Take a map.”
    • Snap → Smap: “A smap decision” and “Smap happy” and “Smap out of it” and “Smap someone’s head off” and “Smap to it” and “Smap, crackle, pop!” and “Whipper smapper.”
    • Mop → Map: “Map the floor with” and “Map up” and “Mapping up tears.”
    • Cap → Map: “Feather in your map” and “Map in hand” and “To map it all off..”
  • Half: Here are some half-related puns so you can include fraction jokes in your repertoire:
    • Haphazard → Halfhazard
    • Helvetica → Halve-etica
    • Alph* → Half*: As in, “Halfanumeric keypad” and “In halfabetical order” and “Halfabet soup.”
    • Have → Half: As in, “Always half your nose in a book” and “As good luck would half it” and “Couldn’t half said it better” and “Do I half to paint you a picture?” and “Half I got news for you!” and “Half a ball” and “Half a bite to eat” and “Half it in for.”
    • *hav* → *halve*: As in, “Creating halve-oc” and “Irritating behalve-iour” Other words that could work: halve-ana (havana), aftershalve (aftershave), behalve (behave), shalve-er (shaver) and dishalve-eled (disheveled).
  • Bird → Third: As in, “A little third told me” and “Free as a third” and “Big third” and “Third’s eye biew” and “Thirds of a feather” and “Charm the thirds out of the trees.”
  • Word → Third: As in, “At a loss for thirds” and “Deeds, not thirds” and “Eat your thirds” and “Famous last thirds” and “Get a third in edgeways.”
  • Heard → Third: As in, “Seen and not third” and “Make yourself third” and “Stop me if you’ve third this one” and “Last I third” and “You third it here first.”
  • Herd → Third: As in, “Third immunity” and “Third instinct” and “Like thirding cats.”
  • *thod* → *third*: As in, “Pioneering a new methird (method)” and “Unorthirdox beliefs” and “Research methirdology” and “Making a living as an orthirdontist.”
  • fore → fourth: As in, “Befourth it was cool” and “Befourth their time” and “Calm befourth the storm” and “Look befourth you leap” and “See the fourthest for the trees.”
  • *fath* → *fourth*: As in, “Like fourther, like son” and “Grandfourther clock.”
  • Further → Fourther: As in, “Fourther down the road” and “Look no fourther” and “Without fourther ado.”
  • Force → Fourth: As in, “Brute fourth” and “Driving fourth” and “Fourth my hand” and “Fourth of habit” and “A fourth of nature” and “Fourth the issue” and “A fourth to be reckoned with” and “Join fourthes with” and “May the fourth be with you” and “A tour de fourth.”
  • Faith → Feighth: As in, “Blind feighth” and “Feighth will move mountains” and “In bad feighth” and “Keep the feighth” and “Yours feighthfully.”
  • Night → Ninth: As in, “A hard day’s ninth” and “A ninth in the opera” and “All ninther” and “As ninth follows day” and “The dead of ninth” and “Dance the ninth away.”
  • Scare → Scale: As in, “Running scaled” and “Scale quotes” and “Scale the living daylights out of” and “Scaled stiff” and “Scaled to death.”
  • Kale → Scale: “Scale salad” and “Pumpkin and scale.”
  • Skill → Scale: “Special scales” and “Social scales” and “Practicing scales.”
  • Ail → Scale: “For what scales you.”
  • Sale → Scale: As in, “Not for scale” and “Point of scale” and “Scale of the century” and “Scales referral.”
  • Sail → Scale: As in, “Hello scaleor” and “In full scale” and “Plain scale-ing” and “Scale away” and “Scale into” and “Smooth scale-ing” and “That ship has scaled.”
  • *scal* → *scale*: Scale-lop (scallop), scale-p (scalp), rascale (rascal), pascale (pascal), escale-late (escalate), scale-able (scalable) and escale-lator (escalator).
  • *scul* → *scale*: As in, “Scale-ptures by the sea” and “Scale-pted body” and “In the scale-lery.” Other words that could work: minuscale (minuscule), emascale-late (emasculate), vascale-lar (vascular) and mascale-line (masculine).
  • Skeleton → Scaleton
  • Skill* → Scale*: Scaleful (skillful) and scale-let (skillet).
  • *cal* → *scale*: As in, “Scalendar year” and “A scale-lous response” and “Mental scale-culus” and “Widespread scaleamity.” Other words you could use: scale-ibre (calibre), radiscale (radical), empiriscale (empirical), critiscale (critical), cyniscale (cynical), practiscale (practical).
  • *cul* → *scale*: Scaleture (culture), scaletivate (cultivate), scale-linary (culinary), scaleprit (culprit), scaleminate (culminate), scalepable (culpable).
  • Plot: There are many different types of plots in maths – scatter plots, spaghetti plots, dot plots and box plots. Here are some related puns:
    • Put → Plot: “Be hard plot to” and “Couldn’t plot it down” and “Feeling a bit plot out” and “Wouldn’t plot it past them” and “Nicely plot.”
    • Blot → Plot: “A plot on the landscape” and “Plot your copybook.”
    • Pot → Plot: As in, “A plot of gold” and “All to plot” and “Useless as a chocolate teaplot” and “Go to plot” and “Fuss plot” and “Hit the jackplot” and “In the melting plot” and “Keep the plot boiling,” and “Like a bee to a honeyplot” and “A watched plot never boils.”
    • Lot → Plot: “A plot of fuss about nothing” and “A plot on your plate” and “A bad plot” and “Leaves a plot to be desired” and “Beginning to look a plot like Christmas” and “Not a plot” and “Got a plot to live for.”
    • Plod → Plot: “Plotting along.”
    • Bought → Plot: “Plot and paid for” and “Liked it so much I plot the company” and “Been there, done that, plot the t-shirt.”
    • *pet → *plot: strumplot (strumpet), crumplot (crumpet), carplot (carpet), pupplot (puppet), implotus (impetus), plotulant (petulant), perplotual (perpetual), complotition (competition) and complotence (competence).
    • *pot* → *plot*: “Hidden plotential” and “Couch plotato” and “A plotent mix” and “Hit the jackplot” and “Crackplot plans.”
    • *plat* → *plot*: “Use your plotform for good” and “Airy plotitudes” and “Hit a ploteau” and “Plotonic relationships.” Other words that could work: plotinum (platinum), plotter (platter) and plotypus (platypus).
    • *plet* → *plot*: Couplot (couplet), triplot (triplet), dropplot (droplet) and explotive (expletive).
  • With → Width: As in, “Beside myself width joy” and “Go along width” and “Widthin reason” and “Got a good thing going width” and “A force to be reckoned width.” Some other with-related words: widthdraw (withdraw), widthstand, widthhold, widthin, widthout, widthdrawal, widthdrawn and widthered.
  • Height: These next few puns are about height, which is a required measure to figure out the area of a shape:
    • Bright → Height: As in, “All things height and beautiful” and “Always look on the height side of life” and “Height as a button” and “Height lights, big city” and “Height and early.”
    • Hate → Height: As in, “Height mail” and “A love-height relationship.”
    • Fright → Height: As in, “Heightened of your own shadow” and “A heightful mess.”
    • Hat → Height: “At the drop of a height” and “Hang up your height” and “Height in hand” and “Heights off to” and “I’ll eat my height.”
    • Hit → Height: As in, “Height the road” and “Height and miss” and “Height and run” and “Height it off” and “Height it on the nose” and “Height it out of the park” and “Height rock bottom.”
    • Heat → Height: As in, “Body height” and “Height up” and “Height wave” and “If you can’t stand the height, get out of the kitchen” and “In the height of battle” and “The height is on.”
    • Heterosexual → Heighterosexual
  • Parent → Parentheses: “Absent parentheses” and “Helicopter parentheses” and “Hope is the parentheses of faith.”
  • Power: Here are some power (related to exponent) related puns:
    • Powder → Power: As in, “Power room” and “Power your nose” and “Power keg.”
    • Sour → Power: As in, “Power grapes.”
  • Opponent → Exponent: “Stand and face your exponent.”
  • Reminder → Remainder: “A nice remainder” and “Please remainder me to…”
  • Artistic → Statistic: “Statistic triumph.”
  • Date → Rate: “Double rate” and “Blind rate” and “Bring up to rate” and “A cheap rate” and “Rate with destiny” and “Out of rate” and “Past its sell-by rate.”
  • Rat → Rate: “I don’t give a rate’s ass” and “I smell a rate.”
  • Ate → Rate: “I can’t believe I rate the whole thing!”
  • Great → Rate: “A rate day” and “All creatures rate and small” and “Disease has no rater enemy” and “Go rate guns” and “Go to rate lengths” and “Rate expectations” and “Rate Scott!”
  • Fate → Rate: “A rate worse than death” and “Bow to rate” and “Master of my own rate” and “Ill rated” and “Seal your rate” and “Twist of rate” and “Wheel of rate” and “Tempting rate.”
  • Right → Rate: “A move in the rate direction” and “The rate to choose” and “Alrate already!” and “Rate as rain” and “Bang to rates” and “Barge rate in” and “Bragging rates” and “Consumer rates” and “Dead to rates.”
  • Wait → Rate: As in, “An accident rate-ing to happen” and “All things to those who rate” and “A heart attack rate-ing to happen” and “Heaven can rate” and “Hurry up and rate” and “Lie in rate” and “Playing the rate-ing game” and “The rate is over” and “Time rates for no-one.”
  • Write → Rate: “Nothing to rate home about” and “Paperback rater” and “Rater’s cramp” and “Rate off.”
  • Late → Rate: “Better rate than never” and “Buy now, pay rater” and “Catch you rater” and “A day rate” and “Fashionably rate” and “Never too rate” and “A rate bloomer.”
  • *rat* → *rate*: “A new strategy” and “Imperate-tive to” and “A delicate operate-tion.”
  • *ret* → *rate*: “A rate-turn to normalcy” and “Rate-treat for now” and “An act of rate-tribution” and “Rate of rate-tention.” Other words that could work: pratetentious, interprate, secrate, regrate, concrate, rate-tort.
  • *rit* → *rate*: “Fighting spirate” and “Merate certificate” and “Catch the culprate” and “Inherate the Earth.” Other words you can try: integratey, securatey, crate-tical, authoratey, crateria, contrate, hypocrate and favourate.
  • *rot* → *rate*: Carrate, parrate, tarate, prate-ocol, prate-agonist, prate-tein, prate-otype and prate-test.
  • *rate*: We can simply emphasise the “rate” that already exists in these words: elaborate, ameliorate, disparate, curate, grateful, separate and deliberate.
  • Fine → Finite: As in, “A finite line” and “Change would be a finite thing” and “Cut it finite” and “Damn finite coffee” and “Finite and dandy” and “Finite words butter no parsnips” and “The finite things in life” and “Got it down to a finite art” and “Here’s another finite mess you’ve gotten me into.”
  • Fine Night → Finite: As in, “A finite at the opera.”
  • Quote → Quotient: As in, “Air quotient” and “Don’t quotient me” and “Scare quotient” and “Quotient, unquotient.”
  • Quo → Quotient: As in, “The status quotient” and “Quid pro quotient.”
  • Near → Linear: As in, “A short history of linearly everything” and “Coming to a screen linear you” and “Linear and dear to my heart” and “A linear death experience” and “A linear miss” and “Linear sighted” and “Linearly new” and “A linear thing.”
  • Hear → Lin-hear: As in, “Ask no questions and lin-hear no lies” and “Can you lin-hear me now” and “Don’t believe everything you lin-hear” and “Hard of lin-hearing” and “Lin-hear me out” and “Lin-hear no evil” and “Lin-hear them out” and “Lin-hear the last of” and “I can’t lin-hear myself think!”
  • Slope: In maths, the slope (or gradient) of a line describes the direction and steepness of a line. Here are some related puns:
    • Soup → Slope: As in, “From slope to nuts” and “In the slope” and “Alphabet slope.”
    • *scope → *slope: As in, “Under the microslope” and “Slope it out.”
    • Hope → Slope: As in, “A new slope” and “Abandon slope” and “Cross my heart and slope to die” and “Slope springs eternal” and “Keep slope alive” and “Land of slope and glory.”
    • Rope → Slope: As in, “At the end of your slope” and “Jump slope” and “Learn the slopes” and “On the slopes.”
    • Soap → Slope: “Slope opera” and “Wash your mouth out with slope” and “Bar of slope.”
  • Proper: Here are some proper puns, related to proper fractions:
    • Oper* → Proper*: As in, “Delicate properation” and “Phone properator.”
    • Propor* → Proper*: As in, “Blown out of propertion” and “Propertionate payments.” Other words you could use: Propertional and propertionally.
    • Paprika → Properika
    • Appropriate → Approperiate: As in, “Approperiate conduct” and “Approperiate dress code.”
  • Less: These next few puns are around the word “less”, as in “less than”:
    • *las* → *less*: As in, “Veggie lessagne” and “A lessting impression” and “World atless” and “One of the clessics” and “An act of blessphemy.”
    • *lis* → *less*: As in, “On the short lesst” and “Real estate lessting” and “Wouldn’t lessten” and “A bustling metropoless.” Other words you could use: trelless (trellis), chrysaless (chrysalis), borealess, acropoless, holesstic (holistic) and accomplessh.
    • *los* → *less*: As in, “Studying philessophy” and “Spring blessoms” and “Gleaming lesstre” and “Mental calculess.” Other words you could use: surpless (surplus), stimuless (stimulus), oculess (oculus) and elessive (elusive).
  • Conversation → Conversion: As in, “Conversion piece” and “A real conversion stopped” and “Just came out in conversion.”
  • Version → Conversion: As in, “What’s your conversion of the story?” and “Conversion 2.0.”
  • Prime: Here are some prime number-related puns for you to play with:
    • Crime → Prime: As in, “Prime and punishment” and “A prime against nature” and “Prime doesn’t pay” and “A prime of passion” and “Primes and misdemeanours” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the prime” and “Let the punishment fit the prime” and “A nose for prime” and “Partners in prime” and “Take a bite out of prime” and “The perfect prime” and “Tough on prime.”
    • Chime → Prime: As in, “Prime in with” and “Primes of freedom.”
    • Climb → Prime: As in, “Prime onto the bandwagon” and “Prime the corporate ladder” and “Prime the walls” and “A mountain to prime” and “Prime on down.”
    • Brim → Prime: As in, “Prime-ing over with confidence” and “Fill it to the prime” and “Hellfire and primestone.”
    • *prem* → *prime*: As in, “An interesting prime-ise” and “Paying a prime-ium price” and “Movie prime-iere” and “A dark prime-onition” and “A prime-ature guess” and “Fighting for suprime-acy.”
    • *prim* → *prime*: As in, “Prime-ary colours” and “Prime-itive technology” and “Prime-al urges.” Other words you could try: prime-ordial (primordial), prime-ate (primate), prime-eval (primeval), reprime-and (reprimand).
    • *prom* → *prime*: As in, “A prime-inent politician” and “Prime-oting the right ideas.” Other words that could work: prime-iscuous (promiscuous), prime-otion (promotion), prime-enade (promenade), prime-ptly (promptly), prime-inence (prominence), comprime-ise (compromise), prime-ise (promise) and imprime-ptu (impromptu).
  • Line: Here are some line-related puns (as in measurement and graphing) for you to play with:
    • Lane → Line: As in, “In the fast line” and “Down memory line.”
    • Fine → Line: As in, “Line dining” and “Liner things in life” and “Got it down to a line art” and “In line form” and “Not to put too line a point on it.”
    • Nine → Line: As in, “A stitch in time saves line” and “Line to five” and “On cloud line.
    • Sign → Line: As in, “Give me a line” and “A line of the times” and “Lined and sealed.”
    • *lan* → *line*: As in, “Picturesque linedscape” and “Paper lineterns” and “Not part of the pline” and “A lone islined.”
    • *len* → *line*: As in, “A line-ient punishment” and “Breadth and linegth of the issue” and “Linetil curry” and “Pleading for line-iency” and “A sulline expression.” Other words that could work: swolline (swollen), polline (pollen), crestfalline (crestfallen), stoline (stolen), malevolinet (malevolent), challinege (challenge), ambivalinet (ambivalent), condolineces (condolences), benevolinet (benevolent), prevalinet (prevalent) and calinedar (calendar).
    • *lin → *line: Maudline (maudlin), gobline, tarpauline, insuline, penicilline, adrenaline.
    • *lon* → *line*: As in, “Linedon (London) time” and “Feeling linely” and “The upper echelines” and “Meline bread” and “Commit a feliney” and “Bacterial coliney.”
    • *lun* → *line*: As in, “Vegan linecheon meat” and “Kid’s volineteer.” Other words you could use: blineder (blunder) and plineder (plunder).
  • Even: Here are some puns for even numbers:
    • *aven* → *even*: As in, “Going down the wrong evenue” and “Evenge your death” and “The Evengers” and “Eventurine jewelry.”
    • *even*: We can emphasise the “even” in these words: event, eventually, evening, eventual, events, eventide, eventuality, evenly, seven, eleven, revenantrevenue, prevent and revenge.
    • *iven* → *even*: As in, “It’s a geven (given)” and “Dreven to madness” and “Let me enleven you.”
    • *uven* → *even*: As in, “A jevenile reaction” and “Skin rejevenation.”
    • *avan* → *even*: As in, “Event garde art” and “Careven park.” Other words that could work: evenescent (evanescent), evengelist (evangelist), evengelical (evangelical), relevent (relevant), grievence (grievance), irrelevent (irrelevant) and relevence (relevance).
  • Odd: These next few puns are based around “odd”, as in odd numbers:
    • *ad* → *odd*: As in, “Oddvocate for” and “I would oddvise against that” and “Looking for oddvice” and “I’m oddamant that” and “Sexual oddvances.” Other words that could work: oddjacent (adjacent), oddhere (adhere) and oddvent (advent).
    • *ed* → *odd*: As in, “Tertiary odducation” and “Old oddifices” and “Oddible underwear” and “Willing to odducate” and “An incroddulous expression” and “A sophisticatodd dinner.”
    • *id* → *odd*: Oddiom (idiom), oddiocracy (idiocracy), oddentify (identify), oddiot (idiot), forbodd (forbid), vapodd (vapid), candodd (candid), avodd (avid) and solodd (solid).
    • *od* → *odd*: oddious (odious), oddyssey (odyssey), oddor (odor), boddy (body), moddel (model), accommoddate (accommodate), methodd (method) and periodd (period).
    • *add* → *odd*: As in, “The wrong oddress” and “Mental oddition” and “Gambling oddiction.”
    • *at* → *odd*: As in, “A huge oddrocity” and “Oddone for earlier actions.” Other words you could try: oddomic (atomic), imperoddtive (imperative), ultimodd (ultimate), operoddtion (operation).
    • *et* → *odd*: oddymology (etymology), oddiquette (etiquette), oddernal (eternal), impoddus (impetus) and markodd (market).
    • *att* → *odd*: As in, “Bad odditude” and “Positive oddributes” and “Personal oddack” and “Oddend to your needs.” Other words you could try: oddention (attention), oddendance (attendance), oddest (attest) and oddorney (attorney).
  • Discreet → Discrete: As in, “Discrete charms.”
  • Gone → Polygon: As in, “Been and polygon” and “Going, going, polygon” and “Polygon with the wind” and “Polygon, but not forgotten” and “Here today, polygon tomorrow.”
  • Tan: The following puns are to do with tan, which is related to angles and trigonometry:
    • Can → Tan: As in, “A golden key tan open any door” and “As far as the eye tan see” and “As much as tan be expected” and “Be all that you tan be” and “Bite off more than you tan chew” and “Tan I help you?”
    • Ten → Tan: As in, “Count to tan” and “Hang tan” and “A perfect tan” and “The top tan.”
    • Tin → Tan: As in, “Does what it says on the tan” and “Tan ears” and “Tanfoil hat.”
    • Than → Tan: As in, “Better tan sex” and ‘”Bite off more tan you can chew” and “Easier said tan done” and “Eyes bigger tan your belly” and “Higher tan a kite” and “More money tan god.”
    • *ten* → *tan*: As in, “A tantative approach” and “Tander love” and “Professional tanure.” Other words that could work: tanacious (tenacious), tanuous (tenuous), tanacity (tenacity), tanant (tenant), tanor (tenor), oftan (often), smittan (smitten), threatan (threaten), kindergartan (kindergarten), enlightan (enlighten), glutan (gluten), potantial (potential), pretantious (pretentious) and maintanance (maintenance).
    • *tin* → *tan*: Latan (Latin), cretan (cretin), bulletan (bulletin), satan (satin), keratan (keratin), pertanent (pertinent), itanerary (itinerary), obstanate (obstinate), destany (destiny).
  • Sin: Here are some sin-related puns (quick note that “sin” is pronounced like “sign”):
    • Sign → Sin: As in, “A sure sin” and “Born under a bad sin” and “Give me a sin” and “A sin of the times” and “Sin off” and “Sin on the dotted line” and “Sin out” and “Sin-ed and sealed” and “A tell-tale sin” and “Vital sins.”
    • Sigh → Sin: As in, “Breathe a sin of relief.”
    • Sin: Sin has a couple of different pronunciations and meanings, so we can play around with them to make puns and jokes: “Head for business and a body for sin” and “Miserable as sin” and “Original sin” and “Seven deadly sins” and “A multitude of sins.”
    • Spine → Sin: As in, “Send shivers down someone’s sin” and “Sin-tingling” and “Steely-sined.”
    • Shine → Sin: As in, “Come rain or sin” and “Rise and sin” and “Sin on” and “Take a sin to.”
  • Cos: The following puns are focused on cos, which is to do with angles and trigonometry:
    • Gauze → Cos: “Packed with cos.”
    • Cause → Cos: As in, “Cos a stir” and “Cos and effect” and “A cos for concern” and “Just cos” and “A lost cos” and “Rebel without a cos” and “A common cos.”
    • Cross → Cos: As in, “Cos to the other side” and “Cos swords with” and “Cos your heart and hope to die” and “At cos purposes” and “Double cos” and “Didn’t cos my mind.”
    • *cas* → *cos*: Coscade (cascade), cosual (casual), cosino (casino), occosion (occasion) and sarcostic (sarcastic).
    • *cus → *cos*: Costom (custom), costody (custody), costomer (customer), costodian (custodian), costomary (customary), focos (focus), caucos (caucus), circos (circus), mucos (mucus), abacos (abacus), hibiscos (hibiscus) and hocos (hocus).
  • Order: In a maths context, this refers to order of operations. So here are some PEDMAS-related puns for you:
    • Border → Order: As in, “Head for the order” and “South of the order.”
    • Oughtta (Ought to) → Order: As in, “Why I order…”
    • Cameraderie → Camerorderie
    • *oder* → *order*: As in, “Mordern housing” and “Morderate temperatures” and “File encorder” and “Everything in morderation.”
    • Marauder → Marorder: As in, “The Marorder’s Map.”
    • Ordi* → Order*: As in, “City ordernance” and “Out of the ordernary.”
    • *arter* → *order*: As in, “Hit an ordery (artery)” and “Next financial quorder.”
    • *orter* → *order*: As in, “News reporder” and “Fluffy comforder” and “Most ardent supporder.” Other words that could work: transporder (transporter), exporder (exporter) and imporder (importer).
  • Put → Input: “Be hard input to” and “Couldn’t input it down” and “Feeling a bit input out” and “Wouldn’t input it past him” and “Nicely input.”
  • Score: In maths, we use scores to help us understand results and statistics. Here are some score-related puns for you:
  • Scar → Score: “Scored shitless” and “Scored stiff” and “Scored to death” and “Score out of your wits.”
    • Sore → Score: As in, “Prevent score throats” and “A sight for score eyes” and “Score loser” and “Sticks out like a score thumb” and “A score point.”
    • Chore → Score: “Sharing the scores” and “Score day.”
    • Saw → Score: “Score her standing there” and “I came, I score, I conquered.”
    • Core → Score: As in,”Score competencies” and “Score dump” and “Score studies” and “Score technology” and “Score values” and “Rotten to the score.”
    • *scor* → *score*: Scoren (scorn), scorech (scorch) and score-pion (scorpion).
    • *scur* → *score*: “As in, “Obscore references” and “Hidden in obscore-ity.”
  • Mile: Since miles are an important unit of measurement and used in converting lengths, we’ve included mile-related puns here:
    • Mail → Mile: As in, “Express mile” and “Hate mile” and “Junk mile” and “Mile order” and “Snail mile” and “Check is in the mile” and “Check your voice mile.”
    • Meal → Mile: As in, “Make a mile of it” and “Mile ticket” and “Three square miles a day” and “Mile ticket.”
    • Male → Mile: As in, “Angry white mile.”
    • Mill → Mile: “Mile-ing about” and “Put through the mile” and “Run of the mile.”
    • Aisle → Mile: “Walk down the mile” and “Rolling in the miles” and “Cleanup in mile 3.”
    • Dial → Mile: As in, “Mile down” and “Pocket mile.”
    • I’ll → Mile: As in, “Well mile be” and “Mile be damned” and “Mile say” and “Ask me no questions, mile tell you no lies” and “Mile be back” and “You scratch my back and mile scratch yours.”
    • *mal* → *mile*: As in, “Milevolent villain” and “A drunken mile-aise” and “Filled with mile-ice” and “Mile-icious actions” and “Mile-ignant tumour.” Other words you could try: mile-eable (malleable), animile (animal), optimile (optimal), dismile (dismal), primile (primal), formile, normile, abysmile (abysmal), mammile (mammal), minimile (minimal), thermile (thermal) and anomiley (anomaly).
    • *mel* → *mile*: As in, “Mileancholy secrets”and “Mile-low (mellow) attitude” and “A sweet mileody” and “Having a miletdown” and “Tooth enamile.” Other words that could work: camile (camel), caramile (caramel), pummile (pummel), mile-lenial (millenial), famile-ly (family), humile-lity (humility), assimile-late (assimilate), simile-lar (similar) and famile-liar (familiar).
    • *mol* → *mile*: Paracetemile (paracetemol), epistemile-ogy (epistemology) and milecule (molecule). Note: epistemology is the study of knowledge.
    • *mul* → *mile*: As in, “In miletiples of two” and “A miletitude of excuses” and “Miletimedia studies” and “Similetaneous combustion” and “Accumile-ated dust.”
  • Yard: These next few puns are about yards (as in the unit of measurement):
    • Hard → Yard: As in, “A yard day’s night” and “Yard as a rock” and “Be yard put to” and “Between a rock and a yard place” and “Come down yard on” and “Fall on yard times.”
    • Guard → Yard: As in, “Drop your yard” and “Yard against” and “Off your yard.”
    • Card → Yard: As in, “A few yards short of a full deck” and “Calling yard” and “Baseball yard” and “A yard up your sleeve” and “Deck of yards” and “Get out of jail free yard” and “Holding all the yards” and “House of yards.”
  • Base: In maths, a base is a system of counting. Here are some related puns:
    • Pass → Base: As in, “All things must base” and “Boarding base” and “Don’t base go” and “As it came to base” and “Make a base at” and “Base muster.”
    • Bass → Base: “Drum and base” and “Sea base” and “Super base.”
    • Ace → Base: As in, “Base Ventura: Pet Detective” and “Base in the hole” and “Base up their sleeve” and “Black as the base of spades” and “Holding all the bases.”
    • Brace → Base: As in, “Belt and bases” and “Base yourself.”
    • Chase → Base: “As in, “Base it up” and “Base the dragon” and “Base your own tail” and “Cut to the base” and “The thrill of the base” and “Wild goose base.”
    • Case → Base: As in, “A base of mistaken identity” and “An open and shut base” and “As the base may be” and “Basket base” and “Base closed”and “Base the joint” and “Crack the base” and “Get off my base” and “A hard base.”
    • Face → Base: “A base as long as a fiddle” and “A great base for radio” and “About base” and “At base value.”
    • Pace → Base: “At snail’s base” and “A change of base” and “Keeping base with” and “Base up and down” and “Put through your bases.”
    • Grace → Base: As in, “Airs and bases” and “Amazing base” and “Fall from base” and “Base period” and “Saving base” and “With good bases.”
    • *bis* → *base*: base-cuit (biscuit), baseson (bison), baseshop (bishop), basetro (bistro), baseque (bisque), basesexual (bisexual), ibase (ibis), cannabase (cannabis), refurbase (refurbish) and rubbase (rubbish).
    • *bus* → *base*: base-iness (business), basey (busy), basetle (bustle), nimbase (nimbus), syllabase (syllabus), omnibase (omnibus), rhombase (rhombus) and filibaseter (filibuster).
  • Attitude → Magnitude: As in, “Cop a magnitude” and “Bad magnitude” and “With a magnitude.” Note: the magnitude of something is to do with absolute or relative size of it.
  • Complicate → Calculate: As in, “Life’s calculated enough” and “It’s calculated.”
  • *val* → *value*: As in, “Happening in intervalues” and “Approvalue rating” and “Rivalue teams” and “Music festivalue.” Other words that you could try: carnivalue (carnival), evalue-ate (evaluate), equivalue-ent (equivalent), value-date (validate) and value-able (valuable).
  • Whole: These next few puns are based around the word “whole”, as in “whole numbers” or “whole values”:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Full of wholes” and “Hell whole” and “Whole in the wall” and “Picked wholes in” and “Riddled with wholes.”
    • Well → Whole: As in, “Alive and whole” and “Get whole soon” and “Exceedingly whole read.”
    • *hal* → *whole*: Wholecyon (halcyon), wholemark (hallmark), wholeoween (halloween) and wherewitwhole (wherewithal).
    • *hel* → *whole*: As in, “Wholep!” and “That’s not wholepful” and “Loosely whole-d.”
    • Hilarious → Wholearious
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “A firm wholed” and “Wholeistic approach” and “Whole-low promises” and “On whole-iday” and “Wholey crap.” Other words you can try: whole-ler (holler), whole-lly (holly), whole-der (holder), alcowhole (alcohol), menthwhole (menthol), threshwholed (threshold) and with-wholed (withhold).
    • *wol* → *whole*: Whole-verine (wolverine), wholef (wolf), wholefsbane (wolfsbane) and swhole-len (swollen).
  • Round: These next few puns are based around rounding (as in, rounding up or down to the nearest chosen unit):
    • Bound → Round: As in, “By leaps and rounds” and “Duty round” and “Homeward round” and “Muscle round” and “Out of rounds.”
    • *rand* → *round*: As in, “Completely roundom” and “Happening roundomly” and “Out doing errounds.” Other words that could work: operound (operand), memoroundum (memorandum) and groundeur (grandeur).
    • *rend* → *round*: As in, “Graphics rounder” and “Secret roundezvous” and “A stirring roundition.” Other words that could work: roundering (rendering), reveround (reverend), seroundipity (serendipity), surrounder (surrender), referoundum (referendum).
    • Tamarind → Tamaround
    • Rondo → Roundo
    • Rundown → Roundown
    • *wond* → *round*: Rounder (wonder), rounderful (wonderful), roundrous (wondrous), rounderment (wonderful) and rounderfully (wonderfully).
  • Finery → Binary: As in, “Decked out in your best binary.”
  • Ordinary → Orbinary: As in, “A life less orbinary” and “Break out of the orbinary” and “Out of the orbinary.”
  • Aggression → Regression: “Non regression pact” and “An act of regression.”
  • Trend: Here are some trend-related puns:
  • Tend → Trend: “Love me trender” and “Trender is the night” and “Trender loving care” and “Trender mercies” and “Double entrendre.”
  • End → Trend: “A good beginning makes a good trending” and “A means to a trend” and “Good things must come to a trend” and “All’s well that trends well” and “At a loose trend” and “At the trend of the day” and “At the trend of your tether” and “Burn the canlde at both trends” and “Can’t see beyond the trend of your nose” and “Come to a sticky trend” and “Classic hollywood trending.”
  • *rend* → *trend*: “Trender your voice useless” and “Secret trendezvous” and “A stirring trendition.”
  • Bias: Biases are used in statistics in maths. Here are some related puns:
    • Goodbye → Goodbias: “Hello, goodbias” and “Kiss goodbias” and “Time to say goodbias” and “Can kiss that one goodbias.”
    • Buy → Bias: “Bulk biasing” and “Bias and sell” and “Bias blind” and “Bias now, pay later” and “Bias one, get one free” and “Bias some time” and “Can’t bias love” and “The best that money can bias.”
    • By → Bias: “Bias a hair’s breadth” and “Not bias a long shot” and “Bias hook or bias crook” and “Bias no means” and “Bias no stretch of the imagination” and “Bias the book” and “Know it bias heart.”
    • Copious → Cobias: “A cobias amount” and “Cobias free time.”
    • *bes* → *bias*: Biaspoke suit” and “Biastow upon” and “That and biasides.”
    • *bis* → *bias*: biascuit (biscuit), biason (bison), biashop (bishop), biastro (bistro), ibias (ibis) and cannabias (cannabis).
  • Late → Simulate: “Better simulate than never” and “Buy now, pay simulater” and “Catch you simulater” and “A day simulate” and “Fashionably simulate” and “It’s simulater than you think” and “Never too simulate” and “Simulate bloomer” and “Never too simulate too learn.”
  • Difference → Inference: “Details make the inference” and “Doesn’t make a bit of inference” and “Make a world of inference” and “Pocket the inference” and “Same inference” and “Spot the inference.”
  • Ignorance → Inference: As on, “Inference is bliss” and “Willful inference” and “Inference is no excuse.”
  • Made → Model: As in, “Custom model” and “Got it model” and “Have it model” and “I’m not model of money” and “Model for each other” and “Model in the shade.”
  • Simple → Sample: As in, “It’s so sample” and “Keep it sample” and “Life’s sample pleasures” and “Pure and sample” and “Sample yet effective” and “The truth is rarely ever pure and sample.”
  • Ample → Sample: “Sample proportions.”
  • Example → Ex-sample: “Lead by ex-sample” and “Make an ex-sample out of” and “A textbook ex-sample.”
  • Unit: In this context, we’re using “unit” as in “unit of measurement”. Here are some related puns:
    • *nit* → *unit*: As in, “Down to the unitty gritty” and “Liquid unitrogen” and “Don’t unitpick the details.”
    • *init* → *unit*: As in, “Taking unitiative” and “The unitial plan” and “Unitiation night.”
  • Rhythm → Algorithm: As in, “With the algorithm and the beat” and “Dance to the algorithm.”
  • Pie: These pie-related puns can double as pie graph jokes:
    • Pie → Pie Graph: “American Pie Graph” and “Easy as apple pie graph” and “Sweet as pie graph” and “Eat humble pie graph” and “A finger in many pie graphs” and “A piece of the pie graph” and “Sweetie pie graph.”
    • High → Pie: As in, “Aim pie” and “Ain’t no mountain pie enough” and “Pie as a kite” and “Come hell or pie water” and Flying pie” and “Pie and dry” and “Pie and mighty” and “Pie five.”
    • Buy → Pie: As in, “Pie and sell” and “Pie into” and “Pie now, pay later” and “Pie one, get one free” and “Pie some time” and “Pie some time” and “Can’t pie love.”
    • By → Pie: As in, “Pie a hair’s breadth” and “Pie a landslide” and “Pie a long shot” and “Pie all accounts” and “Pie and large” and “Pie any means” and “Pie any stretch of the imagination” and “Don’t do it pie halves” and “Pie hook or pie crook” and “Pie the skin of your teeth.”
    • Fly → Pie: “Born to pie” and “Come pie with me” and “Float like a butterpie” and “Go pie a kite” and “Pie by night” and “Pie by the seat of your pants.”
    • Shy → Pie: “Camera pie” and “Fight pie” and “Once bitten, twice pie.”
    • Eye → Pie: As in, “As far as the pie can see” and “Avert your pies” and “Before your very pies.”
    • *pe* → *pie*: “At the piediatrician’s office” and “It’s my pierty and I’ll cry if I want to” and “”A new world pieradigm” and “Pieper flowers” and “Consistent pietterns.” Other words that could work: pietience (patience), pieradox (paradpx), pient (paint), pien (pain), pier (pair) and campiegn (campaign).
    • *pe* → *pie*: Piedantic (pedantic) and pieple (people).
    • *pi* → *pie*: As in, “Piene scented” and “In the piepeline” and “Out of the piecture” and “On autopielot” and “In good spierits” and “A turn of serendipiety.”
    • *ply → *pie: “Appie yourself” and “In good suppie” and “Compie with the rules and regulations” and “What are you trying to impie?” and “Late repie.” Other words that could work: simpie (simply), multipie (multiply) and deepie (deeply).
  • Root: Here are some square root related puns:
    • Route → Root: As in, “Get your kicks on root 66.”
    • Rude → Root: As in, “A root awakening” and “No need to be root.”
    • Fruit → Root: As in, “Bear root” and “Root cake” and “Forbidden root” and “The roots of your labour” and “Low hanging root” and “The root doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
    • Root: These root-related phrases can double as square root puns: “Grass roots” and “Lay down roots” and “The root of all evil” and “The root of the matter.”
    • Roof → Root: As in, “Go through the root” and “Hit the root” and “Raise the root” and “Up on the root.”
  • Clue → Cube: As in, “Don’t have a cube” and “Haven’t got a cube.”
  • Queue → Cube: As in, “Cube up” and “Jump the cube.”
  • Cue → Cube: As in, “On cube” and “Take your cube” and “Take your cube from.”
  • Curb → Cube: As in, “Kick to the cube” and “Cube your enthusiasm” and “Cube appeal.”
  • Plane: In maths, a plane is a flat, 2-d surface. Here are some related puns:
    • Pane → Plane: As in, “Clean the window plane.”
    • Pain → Plane: As in, “A world of plane” and “Doubled up in plane” and “Drown the plane” and “Feeling no plane” and “Growing planes” and “No plane, no gain” and “Old aches and planes” and “Plane in the butt” and “Planefully slow.”
    • Brain → Plane: As in, “All brawn and no planes” and “Plane drain” and “Planestorming session.”
    • Bane → Plane: “The plane of my life.”
    • Plain → Plane: As in, “Plane as day” and “Plane as the nose on your face” and “Hidden in plane sight” and “Plane sailing.”
    • Roof → Proof: As in, “Go through the proof” and “Cat on a hot tin proof” and “Hit the proof” and “Raise the proof” and “Shout it from the prooftops.”
  • City → Density: As in, “Bright lights, big density” and “Density lights” and “Density slicker” and “Inner density.”
  • Wise → Piecewise: “A word to the piecewise” and “Piecewise as an owl” and “None the piecewiser” and “Older and piecewiser” and “Street piecewise” and “Three piecewise men” and “A word to the piecewise” and “Piecewise beyond your years.” Note: A piecewise function is one defined by multiple sub-functions.
  • Instance → Distance: “For distance” and “How many distances?”
  • Drive → Derive: As in, “You can derive my car” and “Back seat deriver” and “Derive a hard bargain” and “Derive a wedge between” and “Derive by shooting” and “Derive safely.”
  • Dive → Derive: As in, “Took a nose derive” and “Derive right in” and “Take a derive.”
  • Mention → Dimension: “Don’t dimension it” and “Honourable dimension” and “Make dimension of” and “Not to dimension” and “Now you dimension it…”
  • Span: Since span is a commonly used unit of measurement and measurements and conversion are important in maths, we’ve included it in this list:
    • Spin → Span: As in, “Give it a span” and “Make your head span” and “Take it for a span.”
    • Pan → Span: As in, “Flat as a spancake” and “Down the span” and “Flash in the span” and “Out of the frying span, into the fire” and “Span out.”
    • Plan → Span: As in, “Action span” and “Business span” and “Cook up a span” and “Failing to span is spanning to fail” and “Game span” and “I have a cunning span” and “Span ahead.”
    • *spen* → *span*: As in, “Indispansible to the team” and “Soap dispanser” and “Suspanded membership” and “Kept in suspanse.”
    • *spin* → *span*: As in, “Spanach and ricotta” and “In a tailspan.”
    • *spon* → *span*: As in, “A spantaneous decision” and “Fundraising spansor” and “A terse respanse” and “In correspandence with” and “Take respansibility for” and “Moody and despandent.”
    • Pan* → Span*: As in, “Solar spanel” and “Black Spanther.” Other words you could try: spanda, spanoply, spanache and spantheon. Notes: a panoply is a full range of something and a pantheon is a temple dedicated to all of the gods in a particular religion.
  • League: As leagues are a unit of measurement, we’ve included a few related puns:
    • Lag → League: As in, “Jet league” and “League-ing behind.”
    • *leg* → *league*: As in, “Part of your league-acy” and “Bootleague copy” and “Learn to deleague-ate effectively” and “An eleague-ant solution” and “An alleague-orical story.”
  • Point: We’ve included some point-related puns for you:
    • Pant → Point: As in, “Ants in their points” and “Beat the points off” and “By the seat of your points” and “Caught with your points down” and “Fancy points” and “Keep your points on.”
    • Paint → Point: “A lick of point” and “A picture points a thousand words” and “Boring as watching point dry” and “Body pointing” and “Do I have to point you a picture?” and “Figure pointing” and “Landscape pointing” and “Point it black.”
    • Joint → Point: “Case the point” and “Point venture” and “Put your nose out of point.”
    • *pent* → *point*: “Point up rage” and “In the pointhouse” and “Repoint (repent) in leisure.”
    • *pot* → *point*: As in, “Filled with pointential” and “Pointato chips” and “A pointent mixture” and “Gained through nepointism.”
  • Ray: In maths, a ray is a line extending out indefinitely from a point. Here are some related puns:
    • Say → Ray: As in, “Computer rays no” and “Have the final ray” and “Have your ray” and “I’m hearing what you ray” and “As the raying goes.”
    • Stray → Ray: As in, “Waifs and rays” and “Lead asray.”
    • They → Ray: As in, “Ray lived happily ever after” and “Tough as ray come” and “Let the chips fall where ray may” and “The bigger ray are, the harder ray fall.”
    • *roy* → *ray*: rayal (royal), rayalty, rayalties, destray and corduray.
    • Vertebrae → Vertebray
    • *rie* → *ray*: As in, “An eeray movie” and “Stuck in a reveray” and “Bound together with camaraderay.” Other words you could use: menageray (menagerie), lingeray, experayence, proprayetary and orayentation.
    • *rai* → *ray*: As in, “Rayse the roof” and “Off the rayls” and “Standing in the rayn” and “Police rayd.” Other words that could work: raynbow, raylway and raylroad.
    • *rei* → *ray*: Rayiterate (reiterate), rayn (reign), rayinforce (reinforce), rayimbursement (reimbursement) and soverayn (sovereign).
    • *wri* → *ray*: Rayte (write), rayting (writing), rayng (wring), raythe (writhe), raynkle (wrinkle) and handrayte (handwrite).
  • Domain: Here are some domain-related puns:
    • Main → Domain: As in, “Domain chance” and “The domain event” and “My domain squeeze.”
    • Remain → Domain: As in, “Better to domain silent” and “Mortal domains” and “You have the right to domain silent.”
    • Again → Domain: As in, “All over domain” and “Born domain” and “Breathe domain” and “Come domain?” and “Do it domain.”
  • Direction → Directrix: “In which directrix?” and “A step in the right directrix.” Note: a directrix is to do with graphing parabolas.
  • Cyclic: The term “cyclic” is used in many different aspects of mathematics. Here are some related puns:
    • Psychic → Cyclic: “I don’t know, I’m not cyclic.”
    • Sidekick → Cyclic
    • Click → Cyclic: “Point and cyclic” and “Cyclic bait” and “Cyclic into place” and “Cyclic it or ticket” and “Cyclic with” and “Cyclic your fingers” and Double cyclic” and “We really cycliced.”
  • Tour → Contour: As in, “Magical mystery contour” and “Contour de force” and “World contour.”
  • Curve: Curves are common and important shapes in math, so we’ve included them in this list:
    • Nerve → Curve: As in, “A bundle of curves” and “Get on your curves” and “Lose your curve” and “Curves of steel” and “Touched a curve” and “What a curve.”
    • Carve → Curve: As in, “Curve your name with pride” and “Curve out a niche” and “Curve up” and “Curved in stone.”
    • Serve → Curve: As in, “First come, first curved” and “How may I curve you?” and “Curves you right” and “A dish best curved cold” and “Curve your time.”
  • You’ll → Euler: As in, “Euler never guess” and “Play with fire and euler get burned.” Note: Leonhard Euler is a mathematician.
  • Different → Differential: As in, “And now for something completely differential” and “Differential as chalk and cheese” and “Dare to be differential” and “A whole differential ball game” and “In a differential class” and “Enter a differential world” and “Refreshingly differential.”
  • National → Rational: As in, “Rational treasure.”
  • Real: The next few puns are in reference to real numbers :
    • Reel → Real: As in, “Real ’em in.”
    • Rail → Real: As in, “Ride the reals” and “Off the reals.”
    • *ral* → *real*: As in, “In genereal” and “Integreal to the team” and “A viscereal reaction.” Other words that you could try: natureal (natural), ephemereal (ephemeral), moreal (moral), collatereal (collateral), libereal (liberal), periphereal (peripheral) and temporeal (temporal).
    • *rel* → *real*: As in, “Can’t realate” and “Professional realationship” and “Breathe a sigh of realief.” Other words that could work: realay (relay), realease (release), realigion (religion), realuctant (reluctant), realiable (reliable), appareal (apparel), squirreal (squirrel), scoundreal (scoundrel) and mongreal (mongrel).
    • *ril* → *real*: Pereal (preil), tendreal (tendril) and Apreal (April).
  • Fourier: These next few puns are in reference to Fourier series:
    • Four → Fourier: As in, “Cast to the fourier winds” and “Down on all fouriers” and “Fourier by two” and “A fourier letter word” and “From the fourier corners of the Earth.”
    • For → Fourier: As in, “Asking fourier a friend” and “Carry a torch fourier” and “Bang fourier your buck.”
    • *fore → *fourier: As in, “Age befourier beauty” and “Befourier it was cool” and “Befourier your time” and “The calm befourier the storm” and “Look befourier you leap” and “Whys and wherefouriers” and “And therefourier…”
  • Fussy → Fuzzy: As in, “A fuzzy attitude.” Note: This is in reference to fuzzy mathematics.
  • *cad* → *code*: As in, “Musical code-ence” and “Acode-emic score” and “At the acode-emy” and “Decode-ent desserts.”
  • Cyber → Cipher: “Cipher sex” and “Cipher Monday.”
  • Tensor: In maths, a tensor is a type of geometric object. Here are some related puns:
    • Ten → Tensor: As in, “Count to tensor” and “Hang tensor” and “The top tensor.”
    • Sore → Tensor: As in, “Mad as a bear with a tensor head” and “Sight for tensor eyes” and “Tensor losers” and “Sticks out like a tensor thumb” and “A tensor point.”
  • Bayes: Bayes’ theorem is a rule used in probability theory and statistics. Here are related puns!
    • Bay → Bayes: As in, “Bayes for blood” and “Hold at bayes.”
    • Pace → Bayes: “At a snail’s bayes” and “A change of bayes” and “Keep bayes with” and “Bayesing up and down” and “Put through your bayes-es.”
    • Base → Bayes: As in, “All your bayes are belong to us” and “Bargain bayesment” and “Bayes jumping” and “Off bayes” and “Touch bayes” and “Steal third bayes.”
    • Blaze → Bayes: As in, “Bayes a trail” and “Go out in a bayes of glory.”
    • Days → Bayes: “Seen better bayes” and “”Those were the bayes” and “Your bayes are numbered” and “The happiest bayes of your life.”
    • Pays → Bayes: As in, “He who bayes the piper calls the tune” and “It bayes to advertise” and “Above my bayes grade” and “Crime doesn’t bayes.”
    • Ways → Bayes: As in, “Change your bayes” and Go our separate bayes” and “Have it both bayes” and “Swing both bayes.”
    • Obeys → Obayes
    • Boysenberry → Bayesenberry
    • Bazaar → Bayesaar

      Math-Related Words

      To help you come up with your own math puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

math, count, add, addition, divide, division, divisibility, subtract, subtraction, multiply, multiplication, multiples, equation, sum, solve, solving, digit, whole number, rounding, zero, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, equal, problem, estimate, estimation, eliminate, elimination, order, magnitude, calculate, calculating, calculator, abacus, ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, place value, property, properties, expression, binary, solution, formula, number, numeral, numeric, negative, positive, integer, order of operations, pemdas, prime (number), arithmetic, discrete, even, odd, fraction, half, halves, quarter, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, numerator, denominator, proper, improper, equivalent, greater than, less than, decimal, convert, converting, conversion, coordinate, percentage, percent, area, length, height, width, line, ray, shape, triangle, pascal, event, de morgan, measure, adjacent, hypotenuse, ruler, protractor, compass, caliper, slide rule, measurement, metric, imperial, millimetre, metre, centimetre, kilometre, inch, foot, mile, yard, span, league, equilateral, isosceles, polygon, parallelogram, scalene, circle, ellipse, rectangle, rhombus, pyramid, cylinder, sphere, cone, torus, cuboid, prism, square, trapezoid, pentagon, hexagon, octagon, septagon, nonagon, decagon, polyhedra,  perimeter, circumference, arc, pi, 3.14, tau, volume, depth, radius, radii, radian, diameter, algebra, geometry, euclidean, point, translation, transformation, rotation, tessellate, tessellation, reflection, map, mapping, dilate, dilation, dilating, symmetry, trigonometry, trig, arcsine, arctangent, arcosine, domain, sinusoidal, vector, logarithm, scalar, matrix, matrices, row-echelon, jacobian, gaussian, ratio, golden ratio, absolute, growth, decay, quadratic, parabola, hyperbolic, directrix, vertex, vertice, rate, constant, evaluate, evaluating, parentheses, exponent, inequalities, remainder, statistics, average, mean, median, mode, range, interquartile, quartile, spread, variance, standard deviation, cumulative, z-score, parameter, scale, scatter plot, spaghetti plot, stokes, hexadecimal, base, cyclic,contour, parametric, correlation, coefficient, regression, trend, residual, model, modelling, sample, sampling, survey, population, bias, causal, causality, simulation, logic, boolean, random, randomness, inference, probability, subset, intersection, relative, superset, operation, operand, prediction, interpret, interpreting, result, tree diagram, permutation, combination, combinatorial, derived, differential, factor, factorial, factoring, value, binomial, theory, theorem, limit, error, interval, pattern, series, sequence, recursive, margin, proportion, hypothesis, test, testing, null, p-value, conclusion, unit, experiment, category, categorical, chi-square, analysis, variable, pictograph, pie graph, venn diagram, frequency, table, condition, distribution, relationships, data, representing, dot plot, graph, bar graph, gradient, intercept, grid, plotting, network, nets, histogram, stem and leaf, outlier, box plot, axis, acute, right, obtuse, angle, degree, quadrilateral, perpendicular, parallel, congruent, congruence, slope, plane, quadrant, proof, bisect, bisecting, density, distance, midpoint, segment, incline, cartesian, dimension, derive, derivative, secant, tangent, rule, composite, inverse, piecewise, motion, position, velocity, acceleration, minimum, maximum, convex, concave, curve, optimisation, horizontal, vertical, accumulation, riemann, euler, product, calculus, x, y, notation, approximate, approximation, substitution, substitute, rationalising, pythagoras, pythagorean, continuity, finite, infinite, quotient, linear, square, square root, cubed, polynomial, monomial, indice, power, tan, sin, cos, exponential, function, input, output, differentiate, rational, real, irrational, algorithm, imaginary (numbers), monty hall (problem), ergodic, fourier, fuzzy, topology, cryptography, code, puzzle, riddle, ciphertext, quantum, stochastic, tensor, bayes, kernel

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