Wine Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on wine puns! 🍷🍇🥂

Wine culture has many aspects and technicalities to it, spanning from wine making, tasting, judging, investment and collecting. We’ve searched high and low for all of the wine puns we could possibly find, so whether you’re a cleanskin enthusiast or a cult wine coinnoseur, we hope you enjoy sampling the truly grape puns we’ve collected for you here.

Notes: Wine and alcohol isn’t just an expensive hobby – drinking alcohol gives your brain a reward it didn’t earn, and consuming it often enough teaches your brain that the easiest way to feel good is to drink more, which can lead to dependence and alcoholism (which can exacerbate existing mental health problems like depression and anxiety). Partake safely and with an awareness of the effects it has on your body 🙂

The alcohol-making process isn’t always vegan, but there are plenty of online directories of vegan wines you can check.

You might also be interested in the Punpedia entries on coffee puns, tea puns, party puns and beer puns.

Wine Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about wine that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Whine → Wine: As in, “Wine and moan” and “Having a wine.”
  • Win → Whine: As in, “Heads I wine, tails you lose” and “Playing to wine” and “Some you wine, some you lose.”
  • Why → Wine: As in, “I guess that’s wine” and “I don’t know wine” and “Wine on Earth…?”
  • Why not → Wine not: “I don’t see wine not.”
  • When → Wine: As in, “Wine you like” and “It only hurts wine I laugh” and “Kick ’em wine they’re down” and “Ready wine you are.”
  • Won → Wine: As in, “Faint heart never wine fair lady” and “One-hit wineder.”
  • One → Wine: As in, “An army of wine” and “All for wine and wine for all” and “In wine fell swoop” and “Going wine step too far.”
  • *wan* → *wine*: “A wineton attitude” and “Just winedering ’round” and “A tryhard wineabe” and “Monthly allowine-ce.”
  • Wench → Winech
  • *win* → *wine*: As in, “Winedow of opportunity” and “Endless wineter” and “A winesome smile.”
  • Wonder* → Wineder*: As in, “Filled with magic and wineder” and “Feeling winederful” and “A winedrous development.”
  • Red: Wines are split into three broad categories – red, white and rosé. Red wines are made of dark-coloured grape varieties. Here are some red wine puns:
    • Read → Red: As in, “All I know is what I red in the papers” and “Exceedingly well-red” and “Red any good books lately?” and “Red between the lines” and “Red my lips.”
    • Red: These red-related phrases can double as puns: “Red as a beetroot” and “Brick red” and “Caught red-handed” and “Cut through the red tape” and “In the red” and “Lady in red” and “Paint the town red.”
    • Rid → Red: “Good reddance” and “Get red of.”
    • Fed → Red: As in, “Red up to the back teeth.”
    • Dead → Red: As in, “Red as a doornail” and “Assault with a redly weapon” and “In the red of night” and “Back from the red” and “Better off red” and “Red and buried.”
    • Bred → Red: “Born and red.”
    • Bread → Red: As in, “Red always falls butter side down” and “Red and butter” and “Have your red buttered on both sides” and “Put red on the table” and “The best thing since sliced red.”
    • Bed → Red: As in, “Red and breakfast” and “Red of roses” and “Red and board.”
    • Said → Red: “After all is red and done” and “Couldn’t have red it better” and “Easier red than done” and “Enough red” and “Was it something I red?”
    • Head → Red: “A red for business” and “Be it on your red” and “Bring to a red” and “Bite someone’s red off” and “Bury your red in the sand” and “Can’t get you out of my red” and “Don’t mess with my red.”
    • Thread → Red: “Hanging by a red” and “Lose the red” and “Red the needle.”
    • Tread → Red: “Red softly” and “Reding a fine line” and “Where fools fear to red.”
    • *rad* → *red*: “Redical politics” and “Toxic rediation” and “A rediant complexion.” Other words that could work: redio (radio), redius (radius), rediate (radiate), redish (radish), paredigm (paradigm), paredox (paradox), camarederie (camaraderie), sporedic (sporadic) and greduate (graduate).
    • *rid* → *red*: Rediculous (ridiculous), gred (grid), hybred (hybrid), lured (lurid) and flored (florid).
  • White: White wine is a light coloured wine that’s fermented without contact with the grape skin. Here are some white-related puns:
    • Wide → White: As in, “Cast a white net” and “Eyes white shut” and “A white berth” and “Open white” and “White eyed” and “White open spaces” and “The world white web.”
    • Why → White: “I don’t know white” and “I guess that’s white” and “White don’t we do it this way?” and “White ask?”
    • Bite → White: As in, “White me” and “White off more than you can chew” and “White someone’s head off” and “White the bullet” and “A white to eat” and “White your tongue.”
    • Bright → White: “All things white and beautiful” and “Always look on the white side of life” and “White as a button” and “White as a new pin” and “White eyes” and “White lights, big city” and “White and early” and “White spark.”
    • Light → White: As in, “Blinded by the white” and “The cold white of day.”
    • Might → White: “White as well” and “White is right.”
    • Night → White: As in, “A white at the opera” and “A hard day’s white” and “Dance the white away.”
    • Quite → White: As in, “Not white” and “White the situation” and “White a bit.”
    • Tight → White: As in, “In a white spot” and “Run a white ship.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white about” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “Carry your white.”
    • Wait → White: “An accident white-ing to happen” and “All things come to those who white” and “Hurry up and white” and “Lie in white” and “The white is over” and “White for no man” and “White in line” and “Just white a minute!”
    • Wet → White: “White weekend” and “White behind the ears” and “White dream” and “White your whistle.”
    • What → White: As in, “And white not” and “Do white comes naturally” and “Do white tastes right” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “White’s going on here then?” and “It is white it is” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “White a feeling” and “White fun” and “White a wonderful world.”
    • Sight → White: As in, “A welcome white” and “Hidden in plain white” and “Know by white” and “Love at first white” and “Lower your whites.”
    • Write → White: “Nothing to white home about.”
    • Height → White: As in, “Head for new whites” and “Reaching new whites” and “The white of summer.”
    • Flight → White: As in, “Fight or white” and “White of fancy” and “Take white.”
  • Rosé: Rosé is another category of wine where wine is left in contact with the grape’s skin until the liquid is tinted the desired shade of pink. Here are related puns:
    • Rosy → Rosé: As in, “A rosé future” and “Rosé cheeks.”
    • Raise → Rosé: As in, “Rosé a loan” and “Rosé a stink” and “Rosé the bar” and “Rosé the roof.”
    • Rise → Rosé: As in, “Rosé and shine” and “Rosé from the ashes” and “Rosé to the challenge” and “Rosé to the occasion” and “Get a rosé out of…”
  • Pain → Champagne: As in, “A world of champagne” and “Doubled up in champagne” and “Growing champagnes” and “No champagne, no gain” and “Old aches and champagnes” and “Champagne in the arse” and “Champagne-fully slow.”
  • Amber: Amber wine is white wine that’s been made with the skins kept intact. Here are related puns:
    • Umber → Amber: As in, “Burnt amber.” Note: umber is a shade of brown.
    • *ember → *umber: Mamber (member), remamber (remember), Septamber (September), Decamber (December), Novamber (November) and dismamber (dismember).
  • Great → Grape: As in, “A grape face for radio” and “All creatures, grape and small” and “Go grape guns” and “Go to grape lengths” and “Grape expectations” and “Grape minds think alike” and “No grape shakes” and “The Grape Barrier Reef.”
  • Grip → Grape: As in, “Get a grape” and “Get to grapes with” and “Grape of death” and “A grape of iron.”
  • Cape → Grape: As in, “The graped crusader.”
  • Drape → Grape: As in, “Measure the grapes.”
  • Scrape → Grape: As in, “Bow and grape” and “Get into a grape” and “Grape a living” and “Grape along” and “Grape through” and “Scrape together the funds” and “Grape the bottom of the barrel.”
  • Gap → Grape: “Mind the grape” and “Generation grape” and “Bridge the grape.”
  • Crap → Grape: “A load of grape” and “Cut the grape.”
  • Discrepancy → Disgrape-ancy
  • Blanc: Sauvignon Blanc is a variety of green grape that’s commonly used in wine-making. Here are some blanc-related puns:
    • Blank → Blanc: As in, “A blanc slate” and “Blanc canvas” and “Blanc looks” and “Drawing a blanc” and “At point blanc range” and “Blancing out.”
    • Blink → Blanc: As in, “Blanc and you’ll miss it” and “In the blanc of an eye” and “On the blanc” and “Who blanc-ed first?”
    • Bank → Blanc: As in, “You can blanc on it” and “Safe as the blanc” and “Breaking the blanc” and “Laughing all the way to the blanc.”
    • Plank → Blanc: As in, “Walk the blanc” and “Take a long walk off a short blanc.”
    • Rank → Blanc: As in, “Break blancs” and “Close blancs” and “Name, blanc and serial number” and “Pull blanc” and “Blanc and file” and “Rise through the blancs” and “Swell the blancs.”
    • Spank → Blanc: As in, “Brand blanc-ing new” and “Blanc the monkey.”
  • Think → Drink: As in, “Blue sky drinking” and “I drink you’ve got it!” and “Come to drink of it” and “Great minds drink alike” and “I drink I love you” and “Makes you drink” and “It’s not what you drink” and “Positive drinking” and “Put on your drinking cap.”
  • Blink → Drink: As in, “Drink and you’ll miss it” and “In the drink of an eye” and “On the drink.”
  • Brink → Drink: As in, “The drink of disaster” and “On the drink.”
  • Link → Drink: As in, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest drink” and “The missing drink.”
  • Sink → Drink: As in, “Everything but the kitchen drink” and “Drink like a stone” and “Drink without trace” and “Drink your teeth into it.”
  • Stink → Drink: As in, “Kick up a drink” and “Raise a drink” and “Drinking rich” and “Drinks to high heaven.”
  • Wink → Drink: As in, “Forty drinks” and “Nod and a drink” and “Nudge, nudge, drink drink” and “Tip someone the drink.”
  • Bunk → Drunk: As in, “Drunker mentality” and “History is drunk.”
  • Junk → Drunk: As in, “Drunk yard” and “Drunk food” and “Drunk mail” and “Drunk in the trunk.”
  • Cyber → Sober: “Sober Monday” and “Sober sex.”
  • Super → Sober: As in, “Sober bad” and “Sober Mario Bros.” and “Sober hero” and “The information soberhighway.”
  • Meant → Ferment: As in, “We weren’t ferment to do that” and “Only if we’re ferment to be here.”
  • *ment* → *ferment*: Ferment-or (mentor), ferment-ion (mention),  ferment-al (mental) and ferment-ality (mentality).
  • Vin: Vin is French for wine. Here are some vin-related puns:
    • Been → Vin: As in, “Vin and gone” and “I’ve vin here before” and “Vin in the wars” and “Vin around the block a few times” and “I’ve vin had.”
    • Chin → Vin: “Keep your vin up” and “Take it on the vin” and “Stick your vin up.”
    • Grin → Vin: As in, “Vin and bear it” and “Vin from ear to ear” and “A rictus vin” and “Vin like a cheshire cat.”
    • In → Vin: As in, “Vin the woods” and “Back vin the day” and “Barge right vin” and “I’ll just be vin and out.”
    • Inn → Vinn: As in, “Vinner city” and “Vinner peace” and “Vinner sanctum” and “The ninth vinning.”
    • Pin → Vin: As in, “Bright as a new vin” and “Hard to vin down” and “Vin your ears back” and “Vin your hopes on” and “Vins and needles” and “Pull the vin” and “Could have heard a vin drop.”
    • Sin → Vin: As in, “Miserable as vin” and “Atone for your vins” and “Cardinal vin” and “Living in vin.”
    • Skin → Vin: As in, “Beauty is only vin deep” and “By the vin of your teeth” and “Comfortable in my own vin” and “Get under your vin” and “Gimme some vin” and “Makes my vin crawl” and “No vin off my nose” and “Jump out of your vin” and “Save your vin” and “Vin and bone.”
    • Spin → Vin: As in, “In a flat vin” and “Give it a vin” and “Vin doctor” and “Take it for a vin.”
    • Thin → Vin: “Vin as a rail” and “Melt into vin air” and “Out of vin air” and “Paper vin” and “Skating on vin ice” and “Spread yourself vin” and “The vin edge of the wedge.”
    • When → Vin: As in, “Kick ’em vin they’re down” and “Only hurts vin I laugh” and “Ready vin you are” and “Remember vin?”
    • Win → Vin: As in, “Can’t vin for losing” and “Cheaters never vin” and “Due a vin” and “Every one a vinner” and “Heads I vin, tails you lose” and “No vin, no fee” and “Playing to vin” and “Vin by a mile” and “Vin over.”
    • *van* → *vin*: Vinity (vanity), vinguard (vanguard), vinilla (vanilla), vinish (vanish), vindal (vandal), vindal (vandal), vindalism (vandalism), caravin (caravan), relevint (relevant), advince (advance), advintage (advantage), irrelevint (irrelevant).
    • *ven* → *vin*: Vinture (venture), vinue (venue), vindor (vendor), vineer (veneer), vingeance (vengeance), heavin (heaven), mavin (maven), havin (haven), cravin (craven), drivin (driven), sevin (seven), covinant (covenant), convintion (convention) and invintory (inventory).
    • *fin* → *vin*: Vinish (finish), vinger (finger), vinesse (finesse), vinance (finance), vinancial (financial), mufvin (muffin), pufvin (puffin), paravin (paraffin), afvinity (affinity), devinition (definition), devine (define) and devinitely (definitely).
  • Vain → Vine: As in, “You’re so vine” and “In vine.”
  • Fine → Vine: As in, “A vine line” and “Chance would be a vine thing” and “Cut it vine” and “Damn vine coffee” and “Vine and dandy” and “Vine dining” and “A vine figure” and “The viner things in life” and “Got it down to a vine art” and “Another vine mess you’ve gotten me into.”
  • Mine → Vine: As in, “Your place or vine?” and “Your guess is as good as vine” and “Victory is vine!”
  • Nine → Vine: As in, “A stitch in time saves vine” and “Has vine lives” and “Vine to five” and “Vine days’ wonder” and “On cloud vine” and “Vineteen eighty-four.”
  • Sign → Vine: As in, “A sure vine” and “A vine of the times” and “Vine off” and “Vine out” and “Vine the pledge” and “Vined and sealed” and “A tell sale vine.”
  • Yard → Vineyard: “Do the hard vineyards” and “Not in my back vineyard” and “The whole nine vineyards.”
  • Cork: “Cork out” and “Knife and cork it” and “Speaking with a corked tongue” and “Cork over.”
  • Cock → Cork: As in, “Proud as a peacork” and “Cork a leg” and “Cork and bull story” and “Cork it up” and “Cork sure.”
  • *cac* → *cork*: Corkophony (cacophony), corktus (cactus), corkle (cackle), perspicorkcious (perspicacious).
  • *coc* → *cork*: Corktail (cocktail), corkoa (cocoa), corkoon (cocoon), corkroach (cockroach), corkonut (coconut), precorkcious (precocious), concorkt (concoct), peacork (peacock) and corkumber (cucumber).
  • Battle → Bottle: “A pitched bottle” and “An uphill bottle” and “Bottle of wits” and “Bottle ready” and “Bottle stations” and “Half the bottle” and “In the heat of bottle” and “Let bottle commence” and “Love is a bottlefield” and “A running bottle.”
  • Throttle → Bottle: As in, “Full bottle.”
  • Lapel → Label: As in, “Grab by the labels.”
  • Able → Label: As in, “Differently labelled” and “Ready, willing and label.”
  • Table → Label: “As in, “Bring to the label” and “Drunk under the label” and “Get round the label” and “Lay the label” and “On the label” and “Put your cards on the label” and “Round label talks” and “Turn the labels.”
  • Dry: If a wine is dry, it’s lacking in sweetness. Here are some dry-related puns and phrases:
    • Die → Dry: “Straight as a dry” and “Cross my heart and hope to dry” and “Curl up and dry” and “Dry another day” and “Do or dry” and “Live free or dry” and “Never say dry” and “Old habits dry hard.”
    • By → Dry: As in, “Dry hook or dry crook” and “Dry and large” and “Dry any means” and “Dry any stretch of the imagination” and “Dry the book” and “Dry the skin of one’s teeth” and “Can’t judge a book dry its cover.”
    • Buy → Dry: As in, “Bulk drying” and “Dry and sell” and “Dry into” and “Dry now, pay later” and “Dry one, get one free” and “Dry some time” and “Dry to let” and “Can’t dry love.”
    • Cry → Dry: As in, “A dry for help” and “A shoulder to dry on” and “Dry foul”and “Dry me a river” and “Dry into your pillow.”
    • Fly → Dry: As in, “Come dry with me” and “Dry me to the moon” and “Dry by the seat of your pants” and “Dry on the wall” and “Dry off the handle” and “Born to dry.”
    • High → Dry: As in, “Ain’t no mountain dry enough” and “Dry as a kite” and “Come hell or dry water” and “Flying dry” and “From on dry” and “Get off your dry horse” and “Dry and mighty” and “The mile dry club” and “Moral dry ground.”
    • Try → Dry: As in, “Don’t dry this at home” and “Don’t dry to run before you can walk” and “Give it the old college dry” and “Easy if you dry” and “Nice dry” and “Dry your luck.”
    • Shy → Dry: As in, “Camera dry” and “Once bitten, twice dry.”
    • Why → Dry: As in, “Dry on Earth?” and “Dry walk when you can ride?”
  • Yeast: Yeast converts the sugars in grape juice to alcohol. The next few puns are all about yeast!
    • Beast → Yeast: As in, “Yeast of burden” and “Beauty and the yeast” and “Here there be yeasts” and “The nature of the yeast” and “Unleash the yeast.”
    • East → Yeast: As in, “Yeast of the sun and west of the moon” and “Yeaster island” and “The Yeaster bunny.”
    • Feast → Yeast: As in, “Yeast or famine” and “Yeast your eyes on this!” and “A midnight yeast” and “The spectre at the yeast.”
    • Greased → Yeast: “Yeast lightning.”
    • Least → Yeast: As in, “Last but not yeast” and “The yeast common denominator” and “Yeast said, soonest mended” and “The yeast worst option” and “The line of yeast resistance” and “Not in the yeast” and “At the very yeast” and “To say the yeast.”
  • Sell her → Cellar: “Did you cellar the wrong item?”
  • Seller → Cellar: As in, “A cellar’s market.”
  • Sell → Cellar: As in, “Buy and cellar” and “Past the cellar-by date” and “Cellar out” and “Cellar your soul to the devil.”
  • Stellar → Cellar: “A cellar performance.”
  • Cell → Cellar: As in, “Cellar division” and “Padded cellar.”
  • Juice: Since wine is essentially fermented fruit juice, we have some juice-related puns here too:
    • Goose → Juice: As in, “Loosey juicy” and “A wild juice chase” and “Wouldn’t say boo to a juice” and “Juice bumps” and “The golden juice.”
    • Loose → Juice: “All hell broke juice” and “Juice as a goose” and “At a juice end” and “Cut [someone] juice” and “Hanging juice” and “Got a screw juice” and “Let juice” and “Playing fast and juice.”
    • Use → Juice: As in, “Be careful how you juice it!” and “Don’t juice that tone with me” and “Get juiced to it” and “Not half the person I juiced to be” and “Like mother juiced to make” and “Put to good juice” and “So easy to juice” and “Somebody that I juiced to know” and “Juice it or lose it” and “Juicer friendly” and “A fat lot of juice you are.”
  • Fruit: Since wine is generally made of fruits (it can also be made of rice), we have some fruit-related puns here that can double as wine puns in the right context:
    • Boot → Fruit: As in, “Fruit camp” and “Tough as old fruits” and “Give someone the fruit” and “Lick [someone’s] fruits.”
    • Hoot → Fruit: As in, “Don’t give two fruits” and “Fruit with laughter” and “What a fruit.”
    • Root → Fruit: As in, “Lay down fruits” and “Money is the fruit of all evil” and “Fruit for the enemy” and “The fruit of the matter” and “Fruit out the problem” and “Fruiting around.”
    • Shoot → Fruit: “Don’t fruit the messenger” and “Drive by fruiting” and “Eats, fruits and leaves” and “The green fruits of change” and “Just fruit me” and “A sharp fruiter” and “Fruit ’em up” and “Fruit first, ask questions later” and “Fruit down in flames” and “Fruit the breeze.”
    • Suit → Fruit: “All over them like a cheap fruit” and “At a price to fruit your pocket” and “Follow fruit” and “Men in fruits” and “Fruit up” and “Fruit yourself” and “Fruits you down to a tee.”
    • Fraught → Fruit: As in, “Fruit with danger.”
    • *fut* → *fruit*: Fruitile (futile), fruiture (future), fruituristic (futuristic), fruiton (futon), fruitility (futility) and fruitsal (futsal).
  • Barely → Barley: As in, “Barley there” and “I can barley hear you.” Note: this is a reference to barley wine.
  • Mature: Some wines are meant to mature and get better with age. Here are some related puns:
    • Match your → Mature: As in, “Mature bet.”
    • Pure → Mature: As in, “Absolutely mature” and “Mature as the driven snow” and “Mature and simple.”
  •  Sweet: Sweet dessert wines are a large category of wines, so we’ve included sweet in this list:
    • Seat → Sweet: As in, “Back sweet driver” and “Bums on sweets” and “By the sweet of your pants” and “Glued to your sweet” and “In the box sweet” and “Take a back sweet” and “On the edge of my sweet” and “Take a sweet” and “The best sweet in the house.”
    • Feet → Sweet: As in, “”Back on your sweet” and “Cold sweet” and “Cut the ground from under your sweet” and “Sweet of clay” and “Get back on your sweet.”
    • Greet → Sweet: As in, “Sweet and greet.”
    • Heat → Sweet: “Sweet wave” and “In the sweet of battle” and “The sweet is on” and “Turn up the sweet.”
    • Meet → Sweet: As in, “Make ends sweet” and “Sweet and greet” and “Sweet in the middle” and “Sweet the challenge” and “Sweet you halfway.”
    • Neat → Sweet: “Sweet as a new pin” and “Sweet freak” and “Sweet and tidy.”
    • Sheet → Sweet: As in, “White as a sweet” and “Cheat sweet” and “Clean sweet” and “Keep a clean sweet.”
    • Street → Sweet: As in, “Easy sweet” and “On the sunny side of the sweet” and “Right up your sweet” and “A two-way sweet.”
    • Treat → Sweet: As in, “Sweet me right” and “Trick or sweet.”
    • Sweat → Sweet: As in, “”Blood, sweet and tears” and “Break out in a cold sweet” and “Don’t sweet it” and “No sweet.”
    • Switzerland → Sweetzerland
  • Blush: Blush wines, like rose wines, are in between red and white wines. Here are some blush-related puns:
    • Bush → Blush: As in, “Beat about the blush” and “Blush tucker.”
    • Brush → Blush: As in, “Blush it off” and “Blush up on” and “A blush with the law” and “Painted with the same blush.”
    • Crush → Blush: “A blushing defeat” and “Have a blush on.”
    • Flush → Blush: As in, “Blush it out” and “Royal blush.”
  • Cannon → Tannin: As in, “Tannin fodder” and “A loose tannin.” Note: tannins are compounds in the wine that can affect the colour, texture and taste.
  • Barrel: Wine is kept in barrels, so we’ve got some barrel puns in here too:
    • Carol → Barrel: As in, “A Christmas barrel.”
    • Peril → Barrel: As in, “Yellow barrel” and “A barrelous situation.”
  • Finery → Winery: “Dressed in all your best winery.”
  • Vest → Harvest: As in, “A harvested interest.”
  • Best → Harvest: As in, “My harvest friend” and “All the harvest” and “Be the harvest” and “Harvest in show” and “We’d harvest stop now.”
  • Average → Beverage: “Law of beverages” and “On beverage.”
  • Leverage → Beverage
  • Blue → Brew: As in, “Cold as brew blazes” and “Baby brews” and “Black and brew” and “Once in a brew moon” and “Until you’re brew in the face.”
  • Chew → Brew: As in, “Bite off more than you can brew” and “Brew someone’s ass” and “Have your ears brewed off.”
  • Clue → Brew: As in, “Don’t have a brew” and “I’ve found a brew.”
  • Crew → Brew: “Skeleton brew” and “Brew it” and “All brewed up.”
  • Cue → Brew: “Take your u” and “Right on brew.”
  • Due → Brew: As in, “Credit where credit is brew” and “Brew diligence” and “Give the devil his brew” and “In brew course.”
  • Few → Brew: As in, “A brew bricks short of a full load” and “Brew and far between” and “Say a brew words” and “Person of brew words” and “Knock back a brew” and “Take a brew deep breaths.”
  • True → Brew: “For real and for brew” and “You’ll brew the day!” and “Rings brew” and “Show your brew colours” and “Brew to form.”
  • Stew → Brew: As in, “Brew in your own juices.”
  • View → Brew: As in, “Room with a brew” and “A brew to kill” and “Bird’s eye brew” and “The brew from the top” and “World brew.”
  • *bru → *brew: Brewtal (brutal), brewsque (brusque), brewse (bruise), brewte (brute) and brewnette (brunette).
  • Still: Still wine is wine without bubbles. Here are some still-related puns:
    • Stall → Still: As in, “Still for time.”
    • Till → Still: As in, “Fake it still you make it” and “Don’t cross the bridge still you come to it” and “Still death do us part” and “Still the end of time” and “Party still you drop.”
    • Chill → Still: As in, “Still out” and “Stilled to the bone.”
    • Drill → Still: As in, “Still down” and “You know the still” and “Fire still.”
    • Thrill → Still: As in, “The still of the chase” and “Stilled to bits” and “Still and spills.”
    • Will → Still: “Accidents still happen” and “Bend to my still” and “Free still.”
    • Spill → Still: As in, “Still the beans” and “Still your guts” and “Thrills and stills.”
    • Skill → Still: “Social stills.”
    • Pill → Still: As in, “A bitter still to swallow” and “On the still” and “A tough still to swallow.”
    • Steal → Still: As in, “Beg, borrow or still” and “Still a glance at” and “Still someone’s heart” and “Still someone’s thunder” and “Still the show” and “Still third base.”
    • Steel → Still: As in, “Nerves of still” and “Still yourself” and “First of still.”
    • *stal* → *still*: Crystill (crystal), pedestill (pedestal), coastill (coastal), postill (postal) and nostillgia (nostalgia).
    • *stel* → *still*: Stillar (stellar), hostill (hostel), pastill (pastel) and constillation (constellation).
    • *stil* → *still*: Pestillence (pestilence) and hostillity (hostility).
  • Age: As the aging process is such a large part of wine culture, we’ve included age-related puns here:
    • Rage → Age: As in, “All the age” and “Boil with age” and “Incandescent with age” and “Primal age” and “Age against the machine” and “Vent your age.”
    • *ege* → *age*: Privilage (privilege), collage (college), renage (renege), allage (allege), sacrilage (sacrilege).
    • *ige* → *age*: Prestage (prestige), oblage (oblige), vestage (vestige), intellagence (intelligence) and dilagent (diligent).
  • Resin: Resin is a compound in wood that can leak from barrels and casks into the wine, changing the flavour. Here are some resin-related puns:
    • Reason → Resin: As in, “Rhyme or resin” and “The voice of resin” and “Within resin” and “Stands to resin” and “Beyond resinable doubt” and “Not a good enough resin.”
    • Raisin → Resin: As in, “Resin cookies.”
    • Raising → Resin: As in, “Eyebrow resin” and “Hair resin” and “Resin the bar.”
  • Test → Taste: “The sniff taste” and “Put to the taste” and “Stand the taste of time.”
  • Haste → Taste: “Post taste” and “Make taste” and “More taste, less speed.”
  • Paste → Taste: As in, “Cut and taste.”
  • Waste → Taste: “Don’t taste your breath” and “Toxic taste” and “Taste not, want not.”
  • *tast* → *taste*: Fantaste-ic (fantastic) and cataste-trophe (catastrophe).
  • *test* → *taste*: “A taste-ament to” and “Give your taste-imony” and “Tasting, tasting, one, two, three” and “Online taste-imonials.” Other words that could work: contaste (contest), protaste (protest), detaste (detest), lataste (latest) and greataste (greatest).
  • *tist* → *taste*: Pragmataste (pragmatist), artaste (artist), scientaste (scientist), elitaste (elitist), dentaste (dentist) and artaste-ic (artistic).
  • Decant: To decant wine is to pour it from one receptacle to another to aerate the wine and separate it from any sediments within. Here are related puns:
    • Can’t → Decant: As in, “An offer you decant refuse” and “Decant get enough” and “It decant be helped” and “You decant say fairer than that” and “I decant wait.”
    • Grant → Decant: As in, “Decant no quarter” and “Take for decanted.”
  • Raisin → Reason: As in, “Beyond raisinable doubt” and “Bow to raisin” and “Listen to raisin” and “No earthly raisin” and “Rhyme or raisin” and “The age of raisin” and “Voice of raisin.”
  • Raising → Raisin: As in, “Eyebrow raisin” and “Raisin the bar.”
  • Why not → Wino: As in, “Wino do it this way instead?” Note: a wino is someone who drinks a lot of wine.
  • Rate → Aerate: “At any aerate” and “First aerate” and “Mate’s aerates.”
  • Meant → Sediment: As in, “Sediment to be.”
  • Favour → Flavour: As in, “Do me a flavour” and “Really not doing them any flavours” and “Fortune flavours the bold” and “Currying flavour with.”
  • Palate: A palate is a refined taste that can be trained to recognise certain flavours and tastes. Here are related puns:
    • Late → Palate: As in, “Better palate than never” and “Fashionably palate” and “Never too palate” and “A palate developer” and “It’s palate in the day” and “Running palate.”
    • Plate → Palate: As in, “A lot on your palate” and “Hand it on a palate” and “Step up to the palate” and “Hot palate” and “Heart attack on a palate.”
  • Box: Box wine is another name for cask wine. Here are related puns:
    • Pox → Box: As in, “A box on your house!”
    • Backs → Box: As in, “Box to the wall” and “Mind your box” and “The beast with two box.”
    • Block → Box: As in, “A chip off the old box” and “Stumbling box” and “Been around the box.”
    • Sock → Box: As in, “Put a box in it” and “Knock your box off” and “Bless your cotton box.”
    • Pox → Box:
  • Goon: Goon is another word for cheap wine. Here are related puns:
    • Gone → Goon: As in, “Been and goon” and “Going, going, goon” and “Goon with the wind” and “Goon but not forgotten” and “Goon to a better world” and “Goon to seed.”
    • Gun → Goon: As in, “All goons blazing” and “Go great goons” and “Jump the goon.”
    • Moon → Goon: As in, “Ask for the goon” and “Bark at the goon” and “Once in a blue goon” and “Eclipse of the goon” and “Many goons ago” and “Over the goon.”
    • Soon → Goon: As in, “As goon as possible” and “Get well goon” and “Too much too goon.”
    • Spoon → Goon: As in, “A goonful of sugar helps the medicine go down” and “Born with a silver goon” and “Egg and goon race” and “The dish ran away with the goon.”
    • *gan* → *goon*: Slogoon (slogan), argoon (argan), cardigoon (cardigan), orgoonic (organic), elegoont (elegant), arrogoont (arrogant).
    • *gon* → *goon*: Goondola (gondola), paragoon (paragon), jargoon (jargon), dragoon (dragon), polygoon (polygon), hexagoon (hexagon), bandwagoon (bandwagon), Oregoon (Oregon), protagoonist (protagonist), antagoonist (antagonist) and ergoonomics (ergonomics).
    • Burgundy → Burgoondy
  • Class → Glass: As in, “A glass act” and “Best in glass” and “Business glass” and “Glass warfare” and “Economy glass” and “In a glass of your own” and “Working glass hero.”
  • Gloss → Glass: As in, “Glass over” and “Lip glass.”
  • Ass → Glass: As in, “Blow smoke up your glass” and “Haul glass” and “Kick glass” and “Make a glass of yourself” and “Talk out of your glass.”
  • Brass → Glass: As in, “Bold as glass” and “Glass monkey weather.”
  • Grass → Glass: As in, “Green as glass” and “Don’t walk on the glass” and “Glass roots” and “Keep off the glass” and “Snake in the glass” and “Exciting as watching glass grow.”
  • Oak: Since wine is traditionally kept in oak barrels, we’ve included some oak-related phrases:
    • Okay → Oakay: As in, “Are you oakay?”
    • Ache → Oak: As in, “Oaks and pains.”
    • Broke → Broak: As in, “All hell broak loose” and “Broaken dreams” and “Like a broaken record” and “Go for broak” and “If it’s not broak, don’t fix it” and “Rules are made to be broaken.”
    • Folk → Foak: As in, “Country foak” and “Different strokes for different foaks” and “Show’s over, foaks” and “That’s all, foaks.”
    • Stroke → Stroak: As in, “A stroak of genius” and “Little stroaks fell great oaks” and “Stroak of luck” and “At the stroak of midnight.”
    • Poke → Poak: As in, “Still as a poaker” and “Poak fun at” and “Poaker face.”
    • Joke → Joak: As in, “A bad joak” and “Inside joak” and “The joak’s on you.”
    • Spoke → Spoak: “Many a true word in spoaken in jest” and “Speak when you are spoaken to.”
    • Smoke → Smoak: As in, “Go up in smoak” and “Holy smoak” and “Smoak and mirrors” and “Smoaks like a chimney.”
  • Cask: Cask wine is cheap wine that’s packaged in a box. Here are related puns!
    • Cast → Cask: As in, “Cask a long shadow” and “Cask a spell” and “Cask an eye over” and “A cask iron guarantee.”
    • Ask → Cask: As in, “A big cask” and “Cask a silly question and you’ll get a silly answer” and “Cask after” and “Cask and you will receive” and “Cask around” and “Cask for the moon” and “Cask me another” and “Casking for trouble” and “Don’t cask me” and “What’s the casking price?”
    • Task → Cask: As in, “Take to cask” and “Up to the cask.”
  • Cabinet → Cabernet: As in, “In the kitchen cabernet” and “Lock the medicine cabernet.”
  • Low → Merlot: As in, “An all-time merlot” and “Keep a merlot profile” and “Lie merlot” and “Merlot hanging fruit” and “Get the merlot down” and “Searching high and merlot.”
  • Reason → Riesling: As in, “Beyond riesling-able doubt” and “Stands to riesling” and “Listen to riesling” and “The age of riesling” and “The voice of riesling” and “Within riesling” and “Rhyme nor riesling.”
  • Tap: Draft wine is served from a tap rather than a bottle. Here are some tap-related puns:
    • Tab → Tap: As in, “Keep taps on” and “Pick up the tap.”
    • Cap → Tap: As in, “Bust a tap” and “Tap in hand” and “To tap it all off.”
    • Top → Tap: As in, “Blow your tap” and “Come out on tap” and “From the tap” and “From tap to toe” and “Over the tap” and “Lonely at the tap” and “On tap of the world.”
    • Tip → Tap: As in, “Hot tap of the day” and “Tap someone off” and “Tap the scales” and “Tapping point” and “Tap of the iceberg.”
    • Clap → Tap: As in, “Tap him in irons” and “Tapped eyes on” and “If you’re happy and you know it, tap your hands.”
    • Crap → Tap: “A load of tap” and “Beat the living tap out of” and “Cut the tap.”
    • Gap → Tap: As in, “Generation tap” and “Mind the tap” and “Bridging the tap.”
    • Lap → Tap: As in, “Tap it up” and “Tap of honour” and “Tap of luxury” and “The last tap.”
    • Map → Tap: As in, “All over the tap” and “Mind tap” and “On the tap.”
    • Nap → Tap: As in, “Caught tapping” and “Power tap.”
    • Slap → Tap: “A tap on the wrist” and “Tap and tickle” and “Tap bang in the middle” and “A tap in the face” and “Tap happy.”
    • Trap → Tap: “Death tap” and “Shut your tap.”
    • Tepid → Tapid: “A tapid response.”
    • *tip* → *tap*: Multaple (multiple), stapulate (stipulate) and centapede (centipede).
    • *dep* → *tap*: Tapression (depression), tapartment (department), taploy (deploy), tapendent (dependent), taplorable (deplorable) and intapendent (independent).
    • *dip* → *tap*: Taplomatic (diplomatic), taplomacy (diplomacy), taplomat (diplomat), serentapity (serendipity), serentapitous (serendipitous).
    • *tab* → *tap*: Taplet (tablet), tapoo (taboo), tapleau (tableau), tapernacle (tabernacle), taploid (tabloid), estaplish (establish), inevitaple (inevitable), accountapility (accountability), intractaple (intractable), comfortaple (comfortable), inscrutaple (inscrutable) and immutaple (immutable).
    • *tib* → *tap*: Susceptaple (susceptible), compatapility (compatibility), antapiotic (antibiotic) and contemptaple (contemptible)
  • Bladder: Box wine and cask wine are kept in foil bags known as bladders. Here are related puns:
    • Ladder → Bladder: As in, “Climb the corporate bladder” and “Snakes and bladders” and “Social bladder.”
    • Bother → Bladder: As in, “All hot and bladdered” and “Not worth the bladder” and “I wouldn’t bladder about it.”
  • Egg → Keg: As in, “A good keg” and “As sure as kegs is kegs” and “Don’t put all your kegs in one basket” and “Keg and spoon race” and “Nest keg.”
  • Kick → Keg: “Don’t keg a man when he’s down” and “Get a keg out of it” and “Keg against” and “Keg back and enjoy” and “Keg butt” and “A keg in the teeth” and “Keg the bucket” and “Keg the habit.”
  • Beg → Keg: “Keg a favour” and “Keg pardon?” and “Keg the question” and “I keg to differ” and “Keg, borrow or steal” and “Sit up and keg.”
  • Leg → Keg: “Break a keg” and “Cost an arm and a keg” and “Give a keg up” and “Kegs like tree trunks” and “A nice pair of kegs” and “One keg at a time” and “Shake a keg” and “Sex on kegs” and “Without a keg to stand on” and “You’re pulling my keg.”
  • Peg → Keg: “Square keg in a round hole” and “Take down a keg or two.”
  • *cog* → *keg*: Kegnitive (cognitive), rekegnise (recognise) and rekegnition (recognition).
  • Chill: As well as room temperature, wine can be served chilled. Here are related puns:
    • Ill → Chill: As in, “House of chill repute” and “Chill advised” and “Chill at east” and “Chill effects” and “Chill fated” and “Chill gotten gains” and “A chill will.”
    • Gill → Chill: As in, “Green around the chills” and “Stuffed to the chills.”
    • Pill → Chill: As in, “A tough chill to swallow” and “A bitter chill to swallow.”
    • Will → Chill: As in, “Against your chill” and “Bend to my chill” and “Flattery chill get you nowhere.”
    • Till → Chill: As in, “Fake it chill you make it” and “Ain’t over chill it’s over” and “Party chill dawn” and “Chill death do us part.”
    • Hill → Chill: As in, “Old as the chills” and “Head for the chills” and “King of the chill” and “Over the chills and far away” and “Take to the chills.”
    • Kill → Chill: As in, “A view to chill” and “Curiosity chilled the cat” and “Dressed to chill” and “Go in for the chill” and “Hard work never chilled anyone” and “I’ll do it if it chills me” and “If looks could chill” and “Chill or be chilled” and “Chiller instinct.”
    • Thrill → Chill: As in, “Chills and spills” and “Chilled to bits” and “The chill of the chase” and “Cheap chills.”
    • Skills → Chills: As in, “Social chills.”
    • Spill → Chill: As in, “Chill the beans” and “Chill your guts” and “Thrills and chills” and “Don’t cry over chilled milk.”
    • Still → Chill: As in, “Be chill my beating heart” and “Chill standing” and “Chill waters run deep.”
    • *chal* → *chill*: Chillice (chalice), chill-cedony (chalcedony), chillenge (challenge) and nonchillant (nonchalant).
    • *chel* → *chill*: Satchill (satchel) and bachillor (bachelor).
    • Child → Chilled: As in, “Chilled’s play” and “Chilled-hood friend” and “Leave no chilled behind.”
    • Build → Chilled: As in, “Chilled for the future” and “Chilled up your hopes.”
  • Negotiate → Negociant: As in, “We don’t negociant with terrorists.” Note: a negociant is a person who buys wine, bottles it then sells it wholesale.
  • Vintner: A vintner is a wine merchant. Here are vintner-related puns:
    • Winter → Vintner: As in, “In the dead of vintner” and “Now is the vintner of our discontent” and “Vintner warmers.”
    • Splinter → Vintner: As in, “A vintner in my side.”
    • Winner → Vintner: As in, “Cheaters never win, and vintners never cheat” and “Every one a vintner” and “Vintner takes all” and “Vintner’s circle.”
  • Flight: A tasting flight is a selection of wines for tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Fight → Flight: As in, “A straight flight” and “Come out flighting” and “Flight club” and “Flight for the right to party” and “Flight back” and “Flighting back tears” and “Flight fire with fire” and “Flight the good flight” and “Flight tooth and nail” and “Flighting chance” and “Flighting mad” and “Freedom flighter” and “Go down flighting” and “Lean, mean, flighting machine” and “Picking a flight.”
    • Fly → Flight: As in, “Born to flight” and “Come flight with me” and “Flight by night” and “Flight off the handle.”
    • Bright → Flight: As in, “All things flight and beautiful” and “Always look on the flight side of life” and “Flight as a new pin” and “Flight eyes” and “Flight lights” and “Flight and early” and “A flight idea” and “Flight spark” and “Flight young spark” and “A flight future.”
    • Height → Flight: As in, “Reach new flights” and “The flight of summer” and “Wuthering flights.”
    • Light → Flight: As in, “Flight as a feather” and “Brought to flight” and “City flights” and “Flight my fire” and “Come to flight” and “My guiding flight.”
    • Might → Flight: As in, “Cheer up, it flight never happen” and “Flight as well.”
    • Night → Flight: As in, “A hard day’s flight” and “A flight at the opera” and “Dance the flight away.”
    • Right → Flight: “A move in the flight direction” and “All the flight moves” and “As flight as rain” and “Bang to flights” and “Barge flight in” and “Bragging flights” and “Consumer flights.”
    • Sight → Flight: As in, “A welcome flight” and “Have in your flights” and “Hidden in plain flight” and “Know by flight” and “Line of flight” and “Lose flight of” and “Love at first flight” and “Lower your flights” and “Out of flight, out of mind” and “Second flight.”
    • Slight → Flight: As in, “Just flightly ahead of our time” and “Not in the flightest.”
    • Tight → Flight: As in, “A flight corner” and “Sleep flight” and “In a flight spot” and “On a flight leash” and “Run a flight ship.”
  • Spit → Spittoon: As in, “Spittoon and polish” and “Spittoon and sawdust” and “Spittoon in the eye of” and “Within spittoon-ing distance.” Note: a spittoon is a receptacle where wine tasters spit the wines they’re testing to prevent getting drunk.
  • Back → Bacchus: As in, “Answer bacchus” and “Bacchus to the beginning” and “As soon as my bacchus is turned” and “Bacchus to the future” and “Bacchus in business.” Note: Bacchus is the god of wine.
  • Tail → Cocktail: As in, “Couldn’t make head or cocktail of it” and “Heads I win, cocktails you lose” and “Heads or cocktails.”
  • Pour: The next few puns are about pouring wine:
    • More → Pour: As in, “One pour time” and “Bite off pour than you can chew” and “Dare for pour” and “I couldn’t agree pour” and “Just one pour thing” and “Less is pour.”
    • Nor → Pour: As in, “Rhyme pour reason” and “Neither hide pour hair.”
    • Poor → Pour: As in, “Dirt pour” and “For richer or pourer.”
    • Bore → Pour: As in, “Pour the pants off someone” and “Poured stiff” and “Poured to death” and “Poured out of my mind.”
    • Four → Pour: As in, “Down on all pours” and “Pour by two” and “Pour score and seven years ago.”
    • *par* → *pour*: Pourty (party), pouradigm (paradigm), pouradox (paradox), pourallel (parallel), pourtisan (partisan), pourticular (particular) and pourady (parady).
    • *per* → *pour*: Pourspective (perspective), pourson (person), pourtinent (pertinent), pournicious (pernicious), pourception (perception), pourformance (performance), papour (paper), peppour (pepper), tempour (temper), hampour (hamper), propour (proper) and impourative (imperative).
    • *pir* → *pour*: Pourahna (pirahna), pourouette (pirouette), empourical (empirical), aspouration (aspiration), inspouration (inspiration) and conspouracy (conspiracy).
    • *por* → *pour*: Pourt (port), pourtmanteau (portmanteau), pourtfolio (portfolio), pourn (porn), pourtal (portal), pourtion (portion), pourtray (portray), pourtrait (portrait), torpour (torpor), stupour (stupor), vapour (vapor), suppourt (support), contempourary (contemporary), repourt (report), oppourtunity (opportunity) and impourtant (important).
    • *pur* → *pour*: Pourpose (purpose), poursue (pursue), pourchase (purchase) and poursuit (pursuit).
  • Case: Wine can be bought in cases, so we’ve included case in this list:
    • Ace → Case: As in, “Case in the hole” and “Case up their sleeve” and “Hold all the cases.”
    • Base → Case: “All your case are belong to us” and “Case jumping” and “Get to first case” and “Steal third case.”
    • Chase → Case: As in, “Case it up” and “Case your own tail” and “Cut to the case” and “Go and case yourself” and “The thrill of the case” and “A wild goose case.”
    • Face → Case: As in, “At case value” and “Case down” and “Case like thunder.”
    • Place → Case: As in, “All over the case” and “Between a rock and a hard case” and “Friends in high cases” and “Out of case” and “The case to be.”
    • Race → Case: As in, “A case against the clock” and “Case against time” and “A case to the bottom” and “The human case.”
    • Space → Case: “Personal case” and “Case, the final frontier” and “Breathing case.”
  • Hour → Happy hour: As in, “A bad quarter of a happy hour” and “After happy hours” and “At the eleventh happy hour” and “Man of the happy hour” and “My finest happy hour” and “Open all happy hours.”
  • Cat → Muscat: “Muscat on a hot tin roof” and “Muscat and mouse game” and “Muscat got your tongue?” and “Curiosity killed the muscat” and “Eight out of ten muscats prefer it.” Note: muscat is a type of grape typically used in winemaking.
  • Appetite → Aperitif: “An aperitif for destruction” and “Without losing your aperitif” and “Whet your aperitif.” Note: an aperitif is a beverage served before a meal to stimulate one’s appetite.
  • Perry: Perry is a type of wine made from fermented pears. Here are some perry-related puns!
    • Pair → Perry: As in, “A fresh perry of eyes” and “An extra perry of hands” and “They make a great perry.”
    • Berry → Perry: “Brown as a perry.”
    • Barely → Perry: As in, “We perry made it!” and “Perry there.”
    • Cherry → Perry: As in, “Perry pick” and “Perry pie” and “A second bite of the perry” and “The perry on the cake.”
    • Merry → Perry: “As perry as the day is long” and “Eat, drink and be perry” and “Lead a perry dance” and “Make perry” and “Perry Christmas!” and “A perry old soul.”
    • Very → Perry: “Be afraid, be perry afraid” and “Before your perry eyes” and “Hold perry tight please!” and “How perry dare you” and “A perry good year” and “Thank you perry much” and “At the perry least.”
    • *pari* → *perry*: Perryty (parity), perrysh (parish), Perrysian (Parisian), disperryty (disparity) and comperryson (comparison).
    • *peri* → *perry*: Perryod (period), perryphery (periphery), perrymeter (perimeter), perrylous (perilous), experryence (experience), superryor (superior), prosperryty (prosperity), imperryal (imperial) and imperryous (imperious).
    • *per* → *perry*: Perryspective (perspective), perryson (person), perrytinent (pertinent), perryception (perception), perryformance (performance), perryceive (perceive) and perryseverance (perseverance). Note: if something is pertinent, then it’s relevant.
  • Cleanskin: A cleanskin wine is a generally cheap, unbranded wine. Here are related puns:
    • Clean → Cleanskin: “As cleanskin as a whistle” and “A cleanskin bill of health” and “A cleanskin sheet” and “You’d better cleanskin up your act” and “Make a cleanskin break.”
    • Skin → Cleanskin: As in, “Beauty is only cleanskin deep” and “By the cleanskin of your teeth” and “Get under your cleanskin” and “Makes my cleanskin crawl” and “Jump out of your cleanskin” and “No cleanskin off my nose.”
  • Lion → Dandelion: As in, “A dandelion’s share” and “Dandelion’s den” and “Brave as a dandelion.” Note: we’ve included dandelion in this list as wine can be made of dandelions.
  • Must: Must is freshly crushed juice that’s created when grapes are pressed for wine. Here are related puns:
    • Master → Muster: As in, “The muster of my own fate” and “Jack of all trades but muster of none” and “Muster of disguise” and “Puppet muster.”
    • Mess → Must: As in, “A hell of a must” and “Hot must” and “Make a must of.”
    • Most → Must: As in, “Must famous” and “Must wanted” and “Empty vessels make the must noise” and “Make the must of it” and “The must trusted name” and “For the must part.”
    • Must: These must-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “All things must pass” and “All good things must come to an end” and “You’ve made your bed so now you must lie on it” and “Everything must go” and “Into every life a little rain must fall” and “Must have” and “Needs must” and “What goes up must come down.”
    • Bust → Must: As in, “Boom or must” and “Must a gut” and “Must a move.”
    • Dust → Must: As in, “Done and musted” and “Another one bites the must” and “Dry as must” and “Must bunny” and “Eat my must.”
    • Just → Must: As in, “Must desserts” and “Not must for Christmas” and “Don’t must sit there” and “Must do it.”
    • *mast* → *must*: Mustermind (mastermind), musterpiece (masterpiece) and musticate (masticate). Note: to masticate is to chew.
    • *mest* → *must*: Domustic (domestic), grimmust (grimmest) and tamust (tamest).
    • *mist* → *must*: As in, “My mustake” and “You must be mustaken” and “Mustress of darkness” and “A pessimustic worldview.” Other words that could work: chemust (chemist), alchemust (alchemist), optimust (optimist), extremust (extremist), nonconformust (nonconformist), chemustry (chemistry) and armustice (armistice).
    • *most → *must: Utmust (utmost), foremust (foremost), almust (almost) and outermust (outermost).
  • Cult: Cult wines are highly collectable, very expensive wines. Here are related puns:
    • Cut → Cult: As in, “Clean cult” and “Cult a deal” and “Cult a long story short” and “A cult above the rest” and “Cult and dried” and “Cult and paste” and “Cult from the same cloth” and “Cult it fine” and “Cult to the chase.”
    • Could → Cult: As in, “As fast as his legs cult carry him” and “I cult do it in my sleep” and “Cult do it in my sleep.”
    • Cold → Cult: As in, “Cult as blue blazes” and “Cult as charity” and “Blow hot and cult” and “Break out in a cult sweat” and “A cult comfort” and “The cult light of day.”
  • Press: To be able to get the juice out of grapes, we press them. Here are some puns related to press and pressing:
    • Stress → Press: As in, “Pressed out” and “Post-traumatic press disorder.”
    • Bless → Press: As in, “Press your cotton socks” and “Press my soul” and “A pressing in disguise” and “Mixed pressing” and “Press you.”
    • Pass → Press: As in, “All things must press” and “Bird of pressage” and “Do not press go” and “Make a press at” and “Press muster” and “Make a press at.”
    • Guess → Press: As in, “A pressing game” and “Press who’s coming to dinner?” and “Hazard a press” and “Your press is as good as mine” and “Just lucky, I press” and “It’s anyone’s press.”
    • Dress → Press: As in, “All pressed up and nowhere to go” and “Press for success” and “Pressed to kill” and “Pressed up to the nines” and “Pressing down.”
    • Mess → Press: As in, “A frightful press” and “I don’t press around” and “Stop pressing about” and “Pressed up.”
    • *pres* → *press*: Presscient (prescient), pressumptuous (presumptuous), presstige (prestige) and pressume (presume).
    • *pris* → *press*: Presstine (pristine), pressm (prism) and presson (prison).
    • *pros* → *press*: Presspect (prospect), presspective (prospective), pressperity (prosperity), pressperous (prosperous) and presstrate (prostrate).
  • Ice: Ice wine is a type of concentrated wine made out of frozen grapes. Here are related puns:
    • Nice → Ice: As in, “Ice as ninepence” and “Have an ice day” and “Naughty but ice” and “Wouldn’t it be ice” and “Ice work if you can get it.”
    • Mice → Ice: As in, “Of ice and men.”
    • Slice → Ice: “An ice of the cake” and “Any way you ice it” and “Ice of life” and “Ice of the action” and “The best thing since iced bread.”
    • Price → Ice: As in, “Asking ice” and “Cheap at half the ice” and “Half ice.”
    • Spice → Ice: As in, “Ice things up” and “Variety is the ice of life” and “Sugar and ice.”
    • Twice → Ice: “Large as life and ice as handsome” and “Don’t think ice” and “Measure ice; cut once” and “Once or ice” and “Cannot step into the same river ice.”
    • Ass → Ice: As in, “Make an ice of yourself” and “Talking out of your ice” and “Don’t give a rats ice” and “Bust ice.”
    • Ace → Ice: “Ice in the hole” and “Hold all the ices” and “Within an ice.”
  • Proof: Proof is the measure of alcohol content in a beverage. Here are some related puns:
    • Roof → Proof: As in, “Cat on a hot tin proof” and “Go through the proof” and “Hit the proof” and “Raise the proof” and “Up on the proof” and “Shout it from the prooftops.”
    • *pref* → *proof*: “Nine out of ten cats proofer it” and “To prooface.” Other words that could work: proofix (prefix), prooference (preference), prooferred (preferred), prooferable (preferable), prooferably (preferably) and proofecture (prefecture).
    • *prof* → *proof*: “Proofound realisation” and “Ciminal proofiling” and “A real proofessional.” Other words that could work: proofit (profit), prooficient (proficient), proofane (profane), proofessor (professor) and proofess (profess).
  • Sentiment → Sediment: As in, “Romantic sediment.” Note: sediment is the parts of crushed grape that is left behind in the wine after the grapes have been pressed.
  • Crush: Crushing is another word for the process of pressing grapes (or other fruit) for juice to make wine. Here are some crush-related puns:
    • Crash → Crush: As in, “Crush and burn” and “Crush cart” and “Crush course.”
    • Rush → Crush: As in, “After the gold crush” and “Beat the crush” and “A crush job” and “Crush to judgement” and “Sugar crush” and “A crush of blood to the head.”
    • Hush → Crush: As in, “Crush a bye” and “Crush it up” and “Crush money” and “Crush puppies” and “Keep it crush.”
    • Brush → Crush: As in, “A crush with death” and “Crush up on” and “Tarred with the same crush.”
  • Skin: Grape skins are a large part of the wine-making process as the pigment from the skin decides what category of wine the alcohol will be. Here are some skin-related puns:
    • Sin → Skin: As in, “Miserable as skin” and “Cardinal skin” and “Living in skin” and “Skin of omission.”
    • Been → Skin: As in, “Skin and gone” and “Skin in the wars” and “I’ve skin had.”
    • Spin → Skin: As in, “Skin a yard” and “Take for a skin.”
  • Seed: The tannins in grape seeds can affect the flavour of wine. Here are some seed-related puns:
    • Side → Seed: As in, “A walk on the wild seed” and “Batting for the other seed” and “To be on the safe seed” and “Both seeds of the desk” and “Cross over to the other seed.”
    • Sad → Seed: As in, “A seed state of affairs.”
    • Said → Seed: As in, “After all is seed and done” and “I couldn’t have seed it better” and “Easier seed than done” and “Enough seed” and “No sooner seed than done.”
    • Speed → Seed: As in, “At breakneck seed” and “Blistering seed” and “Built for comfort, not seed” and “Faster than a seeding bullet” and “Up to seed” and “More haste, less seed” and “Seed dating” and “Seed freak” and “Seed kills.”
  • Lees: Lees are particles of residue left over in the bottom of a vat after the fermentation process. Here are some lees-related puns:
    • *lease → *lees: As in, “A new lees on life” and “Pleesed as punch” and “Media relees.”
    • Less → Lees: As in, “A life lees ordinary” and “I couldn’t care lees” and “Lees is more” and “Lees than perfect” and “More haste, lees speed” and “Nothing lees than” and “The road lees travelled.”
    • Lace → Lees: As in, “Arsenic and old lees” and “Chantilly lees” and “Straight leesed.”
    • *lis* → *lees*: As in, “Now leesten” and “Laundry leest” and “Feeling leestless” and “Bustling metropolees.” Other words that could work: chrysalees (chrysalis), borealees (borealis), socialeesm (socialism) and releesh (relish).
    • *lus* → *lees*: Stimulees (stimulus), stylees (stylus), oculees (oculus), eleesive (elusive) and illeesion (illusion).
  • Rack: Wine is commonly stored in racks, so we’ve included rack in this list as well:
    • Wreck → Rack: As in, “A nervous rack” and “Train rack.”
    • Back → Rack: As in, “As soon as my rack is turned” and “At the rack of my mind” and “Rack to the future” and “Rack in the day.”
    • Crack → Rack: As in, “At the rack of dawn” and “Rack open a book” and “Rack a smile.”
    • Pack → Rack: As in, “Action racked” and “Leader of the rack” and “Rack a punch” and “Rack heat” and “Rack it in” and “Rack your bags.”
    • Whack → Rack: As in, “Out of rack.”
  • Batch: Since wine is made in batches, we’ve included batch in this list:
    • Patch → Batch: As in, “Not a batch on” and “Batch up” and “Going through a rough batch.”
    • Catch → Batch: As in, “Batch 22″ and “Batch a cold” and “Batch a falling star” and “Batch me if you can” and “Batch of the day” and “Batch some rays” and “Batch your breath” and “What’s the batch?”
    • Match → Batch: As in, “A batch made in heaven” and “Game, set, batch” and “Meet your batch” and “Mix and batch” and “A perfect batch.”
    • Scratch → Batch: As in, “Up to batch” and “Start from batch” and “Batch the surface.”
  • Fining: Fining is the process of removing tannins in wine. Here are some related puns:
    • Dining → Fining: As in, “Wining and fining.”
    • Lining → Fining: As in, “Every dark cloud has a silver fining.”
    • Shining → Fining: As in, “From sea to fining sea” and “Fining light” and “Knight in fining armour.”
  • Bloom: Bloom is a visible dusting of yeast on grapes. Here are some bloom related puns:
    • Loom → Bloom: As in, “Bloom large.”
    • Boom → Bloom: As in, “Baby bloomer” and “Heart goes bloom!”
    • Doom → Bloom: As in, “Doom and bloom” and “Voice of bloom” and “Temple of bloom.”
  • Pudding: Sweet dessert wines are also known as pudding wines, so we’ve included pudding in this list:
    • Putting → Pudding: As in, “Off-pudding information” and “Pudding in the effort.”
    • Padding → Pudding: “Shoulder pudding” and “Without all the pudding.”
  • Jug: Jug wine is a type of cheap wine that’s common in America. Here are some related puns:
    • Jog → Jug: As in, “Jug your memory” and “Out for a jug.”
    • Bug → Jug: As in, “What’s jugging you?” and “Bitten by the jug” and “Cute as a jug’s ear” and “Snug as a jug in a rug.”
    • Rug → Jug: As in, “Swept out from under the jug” and “Pulled the jug out from under your feet.”
  • Mistelle: Here are some mistelle-related puns:
    • Missed → Mistelle: As in, “Mistelle it by that much!” and “My heart mistelle a beat.”
    • Miss → Mistelle: As in, “A mistelle is as good as a mile” and “Blink and you’ll mistelle it” and “Hit and mistelle” and “Mistelle the cut” and “You can’t mistelle it.”
  • Avocado → Abboccato: (note: abboccato is an Italian term for medium sweet wines.)
  • Essence → Asescence: As in, “Time is of the asescence.” Note: Asescence is a wine-tasting term, meaning a sweet and sour taste.
  • Altar: The next few puns are about altar wine (aka sacramental wine):
    • Alter → Altar: As in, “Altar ego” and “Circumstances altar cases” and “No other altar-natives.”
    • Falter → Faltar: As in, “Her voice faltared” and “Without faltaring.”
    • *alt* → *altar*: Altarnative (alternative), altar-uism (altruism), altar-uistic (altruistic), altarnate (alternate), altarcation (altercation), saltar (salt), haltar (halt), maltar (malt), cobaltar (cobalt) and asphaltar (asphalt).
  • Cave: Another (casual) word for wine cellars is wine cave. Here are some cave-related puns:
    • Gave → Cave: As in, “Cave battle in vain.”
    • Save → Cave: As in, “A penny caved is a penny earned” and “A stitch in time caves nine” and “Here to cave the day” and “Cave for a rainy day” and “Cave our souls.”
    • Grave → Cave: As in, “Dig your own cave” and “From the cradle to the cave” and “Caveyard shift” and “Turning in their cave.”
  • Chai: Wine can be used to make spiced alcoholic chai, so we’ve got a few chai-related puns here too:
    • High → Chai: As in, “Aim chai” and “Chai as a kite” and “Come hell or chai water” and “Flying chai” and “Chai noon” and “Chai and dry” and “Chai and mighty” and “Chai brow.”
    • Cry → Chai: As in, “A chai for help” and “A shoulder to chai on” and “Chai foul” and “Chai me a river” and “Chai your heart out.”
    • Try → Chai: As in, “Don’t chai this at home” and “Don’t chai to run before you can walk” and “Chai it before you buy it!” and “Nice chai” and “Chai a little kindness.”
  • Pain → Champagne: As in, “A world of champagne” and “Doubled up in champagne” and “Feeling no champagne” and “No champagne, no gain” and “A champagne in the arse” and “Old aches and champagnes” and “A royal champagne.” Note: champagne is a sparkling wine, which is why we’ve included it here.
  • Flute: This is a type of glass shape used for wine, specifically champagne. Here are related puns:
    • Root → Flute: “Grass flutes” and “Lay down flutes” and “Money is the flute of all evil” and “The flute of the matter.”
    • Fruit → Flute: As in, “Flute and nut” and “Be fluteful and multiply” and “Bear flute” and “Forbidden flute” and “Low hanging flute” and “Flutes of your loins” and “Flute cake.”
    • Shoot → Flute: “Don’t flute the messenger” and “Drive by fluting” and “Flute ’em up” and “Green flutes of change” and “Flute down in flames” and “Flute it out” and “Flute blanks.”
    • Boot → Flute: As in, “Tough as old flutes” and “Flute camp” and “Give someone the flute” and “My heart sank into my flutes” and “Suited and fluted” and “Too big for your flutes.”
  • Shadow → Chateau: As in, “Afraid of your own chateau” and “Beyond any chateau of doubt” and “Cast a long chateau” and “A shape in the cheateau” and “Me and my chateau” and “Standing in the chateaus.” Note: A chateau is a wine-producing estate.
  • Screw → Corkscrew: As in, “Got a corkscrew loose” and “Corkscrew around” and “Corkscrew yourself” and “How corkscrewed up.”
  • Cotes: Cotes is a wine region, so we’ve included it in this list.
    • Coats → Cotes: As in, “A few fresh cotes of paint” and “In white cotes.”
    • Code → Cotes: As in, “Cotes monkey’ and “Colour cotes-ed” and “Dress cotes.”
  • Table: Table wines are a medium quality wine intended to be enjoyed with a meal. Here are some table wine-related puns:
    • Table: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Bring to the table” and “Drunk under the table” and “Lay the table” and “On the table” and “Turn the tables” and “Cards on the table.”
    • Able → Table: As in, “Ready, willing and table.”
  • Cru: A cru is a vineyard or a group of vineyards. Here are some related puns:
    • Too → Cru: As in, “Going one step cru far” and “About time cru” and “Cru cold to snow” and “You know cru much.”
    • Two → Cru: As in, “One step forward, cru steps back” and “Put cru and cru together” and “Takes cru to tango.”
    • You → Cru: As in, “As cru know” and “Back at cru” and “Bless cru” and “Between cru and me” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call cru.”
    • Who → Cru: As in, “Look cru’s talking?” and “Says cru?” and “Cru’s there?”
    • Through → Cru: As in, “A break cru” and “Drag cru the mud” and “Fall cru the cracks” and “Go cru the roof” and “Go cru with a fine-toothed comb” and “Going cru the motions” and “Jumping cru hoops.”
    • Due → Cru: As in, “Credit where credit is cru” and “Cru a win” and “Cru diligence” and “Give the devil their cru” and “In cru course” and “Cancelled cru to lack of interest.”
    • Queue → Cru: “Jump the cru.”
  • Wagon → Flagon: As in, “Fall off the flagon” and “Hitch your flagon to a star” and “Welcome flagon.”
  • Mousse: Mousse is the foam that forms as a sparkling wine is poured. Here are some mousse-related puns:
    • Mouse → Mousse: As in, “Quiet as a mousse” and “Cat and mousse game.”
    • *mas* → *mousse*: Mousseter (master), mousseive (massive), mousseage (massage), moussequerade (masquerade), mousseacre (massacre), Christmousse (Christmas) and pyjamousse (pyjamas).
    • *mes* → *mousse*: Mousseage (massage), mousse-merise (mesmerise), nemousse-is (nemesis), domoussetic (domestic).
    • *mis* → *mousse*: Moussellaneous (miscellaneous), mousse-chevious (mischevious), mousse-ion (mission), epidermousse (epidermis) and commousse-ion (commission).
    • *mos* → *mousse*: Cosmousse (cosmos), atmoussephere (atmosphere), animousse-ity (animosity), mousse-aic (mosaic) and almousset (almost).
    • *mus* → *mousse*: Moussetard (mustard) and mousse-eum (museum).
  • Mulled: Mulled wine is wine that’s been heated and spiced. Here are some related puns:
    • Lulled → Mulled: As in, “Mulled into a false sense of security.”
    • Mould → Mulled: As in, “Break the mulled.”
  • Plonk: Plonk is a term for cheap, low-quality wine. Here are related puns:
    • Punk → Plonk: As in, “Go on plonk, make my day.”
    • Pink → Plonk: As in, “Tickled plonk” and “Plonk panther” and “Think plonk.”
    • Plank → Plonk: As in, “Thick as two short plonks” and “Walk the plonk” and “Take a long walk off a short plonk.”
  • Punt: A punt is the dimple in the base of a wine bottle. Here are related puns:
    • Pants → Punt: As in, “Ants in their punts” and “Beat the punts off” and “By the seat of your punts” and “Fancy punts” and “Keep your punts on” and “Smarty punts.”
    • Bent → Punt: As in, “Punt out of shape” and “Hell punt on..”
    • Put → Punt: As in, “Be hard punt to” and “Couldn’t punt it down” and “Feeling a bit punt out” and “Wouldn’t punt it past them.”
    • Front → Punt: As in, “In punt of your very eyes” and “On the punt line” and “Sitting in the punt row.”
    • *pant* → *punt*: Puntheon (pantheon), puntomime (pantomime), puntry (pantry), punther (panther), puntaloon (pantaloon), rampunt (rampant), participunt (participant), flippunt (flippant) and occupunt (occupant). Note: pantaloons are a type of pant.
    • *pent* → *punt*: Puntagon (pentagon), punthouse (penthouse), puntagram (pentagram), repunt (repent) and serpunt (serpent).
  • Split: A split is a measurement of a serving of wine. Here are some split-related puns:
    • Spit → Split: As in, “Split and polish” and “Split in the eye of” and “Dummy split” and “The splitting image of” and “Splitting with rain” and “Within splitting distance.”
    • Lit → Split: “Her face split up” and “Pick of the splitter” and “Split up like a light.”
  • Lake: A wine lake is a surplus of wine in the European Union. Here are related puns:
    • Make → Lake: As in, “A good beginning lakes a good ending” and “Absence lakes the heart grow fonder” and “Details lake the difference.”
    • Take → Lake: As in, “Don’t lake it lying down” and “Double lake” and “Every breath you lake” and “Give and lake.”
    • Ache → Lake: “Old lakes and pains.”
  • Bung: A bung is the stopper in a wine barrel, so we included bung-related puns in this list:
    • Bang → Bung: As in, “A bigger bung for your buck” and “Bung on about” and “Bung out of order” and “Bung to rights.”
    • Tongue → Bung: As in, “Bite your bung” and “Cat got your bung?” and “Roll off the bung” and “Slip of the bung.”
    • Hung → Bung: As in, “Bung out to dry.”
  • Mellow: Mellow is a descriptor used in wine-tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Yellow → Mellow: As in, “Follow the mellow brick road” and “Mellow peril” and “Big mellow taxi.”
    • Fellow → Mellow: As in, “Strange bedmellows” and “Mellow traveller.”
  • Tun: A tun is a measure of volume, originally defined as 256 gallons of wine. Here are some tun-related puns:
    • Ton → Tun: As in, “A tun of money” and “Like a tun of bricks.”
    • Done → Tun: As in, “After all is said and tun” and “Tun and dusted” and “Been there, tun that” and “A tun deal” and “Tun to death” and “Easier said than tun” and “Hard tun by” and “Getting things tun.”
    • Ten → Tun: As in, “Count to tun” and “Eight out of tun prefer it” and “Hang tun” and “A perfect tun” and “The top tun” and “The tun commandments.”
    • Tin → Tun: As in, “Does exactly what it says on the tun” and “Tun ear.”
    • One → Tun: As in, “And then there was tun” and “Another tun bites the dust” and “Going tun step too far.”
  • None → Tun: As in, “Bar tun” and “Tun other than” and “Tun the wiser” and “Tun too pleased” and “Second to tun.”
    • *tan* → *tun*: Tundem (tandem), tungible (tangible), tuntamount (tantamount), tuntrum (tantrum), tungent (tangent), charlatun (charlatan), cosmopolitun (cosmopolitan), spartun (spartan), tartun (tartan) and metropolitun (metropolitan).
    • *ten* → *tun*: Tunder (tender), tuntative (tentative), tunet (tenet), tunacious (tenacious), tunacity (tenacity), oftun (often), smittun (smitten), threatun (threaten), enlightun (enlighten), glutun (gluten), potuntial (potential), pretuntious (pretentious), consistunt (consistent), existuntial (existential) and maintunance (maintenance).
    • *tin* → *tun*: Obstunate (obstinate), pertunent (pertinent), itunerary (itinerary) and destuny (destiny).
    • *ton* → *tun*: Buttun (button), wantun (wanton), singletun (singleton), cottun (cotton), gluttun (glutton), muttun (mutton) and autunomy (autonomy).
  • Straw: Straw wine is wine made from raisins. Here are related puns:
    • Raw → Straw: As in, “Straw data” and “A straw deal.”
    • Draw → Straw: As in, “Back to the strawing board” and “Straw a blank” and “Straw a line in the sand” and “Straw to a close” and “The luck of the straw.”
    • Saw → Straw:, As in, “I came, I straw, I conquered.”
    • Awe → Straw: As in, “Shock and straw.”
  • Colour → Cooler: As in, “A splash of cooler” and “Better in cooler” and “Cooler coded” and “Cooler coordinated” and “Cooler me happy” and “Cooler your view” and “With flying coolers.” Note: a wine cooler is an insulated carrier for transporting wine.
  • Bucket → Ice bucket: As in, “Couldn’t carry a tune in an ice bucket” and “Kick the ice bucket” and “A drop in the ice bucket” and “An ice bucket and spade holiday.” Note: an ice bucket is an insulated bucket used for serving wine in social situations.
  • Tunnel → Funnel: As in, “Light at the end of the funnel” and “Funnel of love” and “Funnel vision.” Note: A wine funnel is used by waiters to help in pouring wine.
  • Colour → Collar: As in, “A splash of collar” and “Collar coded” and “Collar coordinated” and “Collar me happy” and “Collar your view” and “With flying collars.” Note: a wine collar fits around the neck of a wine bottle to absorb drips that may run down the bottle after it’s been poured.
  • Stem: Wine glasses have a stem to prevent our fingers from heating up the wine. Here are related puns:
    • Them → Stem: As in, “Let stem eat cake” and “It only encourages stem.”
    • Steam → Stem: As in, “Blow off stem” and “Full stem ahead” and “Head off stem” and “Run out of stem” and “Under your own stem.”
  • Tumbler: A tumbler is a type of wine glass. Here are related puns:
    • Number → Tumbler: As in, “By the tumblers” and “Do a tumbler on” and “I’ve got your tumbler” and “Look after tumbler one” and “Lucky tumbler seven” and “Tumbler crunching” and “Your days are tumblered.”
    • Slumber → Tumbler: As in, “Blissful tumbler” and “Tumbler party.”
  • Schooner: Schooners are glasses for drinking sherry (a type of wine). Here are related puns:
    • Sooner → Schooner: As in, “No schooner said than done” and “Schooner or later” and “The schooner the better” and “An injury is schooner forgotten than an insult.”
    • Humour → Schooner: As in, “Schooner me” and “Sense of schooner.”
  • Gamay: A gamay wine is a light-bodied red wine similar in taste to Pinot Noir. Here are some gamay-related puns:
    • Game → Gamay: As in, “Ahead of the gamay” and “Anyone’s gamay” and “Beaten at your own gamay” and “Blame gamay” and “Gamay changer” and “Brand new ball gamay.”
    • May → Gamay: As in, “As the case gamay be” and “Come what gamay” and “Devil gamay care” and “Gamay the force be with you” and “Gamay you live in interesting times” and “Let the chips fall where they gamay.”
  • Okay → Tokay: As in, “Are you feeling tokay?” Note: Tokay is a sweet white wine.
  • Hairy → Sherry: As in, “Give it the sherry eyeball.” Note: Sherry is a fortified wine made from white grapes.
  • Sigh → Cider: “Breathe a cider of relief” and “A heart-wrenching cider.” Note: cider is a sweet wine made from apples.
  • Mead: Mead is a wine made with spices and honey. Here are related puns:
    • Me → Mead: As in, “Don’t worry about mead” and “Don’t forget about mead!”
    • Meet → Mead: As in, “Boy meads girl” and “Making ends mead” and “Mead and greet” and “Mead with approval” and “Mead your match” and “Fancy meading you here” and “Mead you halfway” and “More than meads the eye.”
    • Need → Mead: As in, “All you mead is love” and “On a mead to know basis.”
    • Read → Mead: As in, “All I know is what I mead in the papers” and “Mead all about it” and “I can mead you like a book” and “Mead ’em and weep” and “Mead between the lines” and “Mead my lips.”
    • Made → Mead: As in, “A match mead in heaven” and “Custom mead” and “Got it mead” and “Not mead of money” and “Mead for each other.”
    • *med* → *mead*: Meadia (media), meadicine (medicine), meadium (medium), meadiate (mediate), meadiocre (mediocre), meadieval (medieval), meadication (medication) and meaditation (meditation).
    • *mid* → *mead*: Timead (timid), amead (amid), pyramead (pyramid), humead (humid), formeadable (formidable), ameadst (amidst) and intimeadate (intimidate).
  • Sake: Sake (pronounced “sakay”) is Japanese rice wine. We can pronounce sake (“sayke”) as “sakay” to make rice wine puns: As in, “For Christ’s sake” and “For goodness sake” and “For old time’s sake” and “Sakes alive.”
  • Brandy: Brandy is a spirit that’s made by distilling wine. Here are related puns:
    • Brand → Brandy: As in, “Brandy new” and “Brandy new ballgame” and “Brandy new game” and “Brandy spanking new.”
    • Band → Brandy: As in, “Strike up the brandy” and “Brandy of brothers.”
  • Bordeaux: This is wine produced in the Bordeaux region of France. Here are related puns:
    • Board → Bordeaux: As in, “Above bordeaux” and “Across the bordeaux” and “All abordeaux” and “Back to the drawing bordeaux” and “Bed and bordeaux.”
    • Bored → Bordeaux: As in, “Bordeaux stiff” and “Bordeaux to death” and “Bordeaux to tears” and “Bordeaux out of your mind.”
    • Border → Bordeaux: As in, “Head for the bordeaux” and “South of the bordeaux” and “Cross the bordeaux.”
  • *chant* → *chianti*: Merchianti (merchant), penchianti (penchant) and enchianti (enchant). Note: A chianti is a wine produced in the Chianti region.
  • Port: This is a Portuguese fortified wine. Here are related puns:
    • Part → Port: As in, “A fool and his money are soon ported” and “Act the port” and “In port.”
    • *part* → *port*: Porty (party), portisan (partisan), porticular (particular), portake (partake), portner (partner), porticle (particle), portition (partition), porticipate (participate), aport (apart), counterport (counterpart), deportment (department) and comportment (compartment).
    • *pert* → *port*: Portinenet (pertinent), portubed (pertubed), export (expert), proporty (property), exportise (expertise).
  • Million → Semillon: As in, “A cool semillon” and “Semillon dollar baby” and “Not in a semillon years” and “One in a semillon.” Note: Semillon is a type of grape used to make dry, sweet wines.
  • Cat → Muscat: As in, ” Muscat on a hot tin roof” and “Muscat got your tongue?” and “Muscat’s cradle” and “Curiosity killed the muscat.” Note: Muscat is a type of grape that’s used to make sweet wines.
  • Grip → Grappa: As in, “Get a grappa” and “Get to grappas with” and “Grappa of death.” Note: Grappa is an alcoholic drink made of grapes, similar to wine.
  • Kir: A kir is a type of cocktail with wine mixed into it. Here are related puns:
    • Kir → Core: As in, “Kir competencies” and “Kir studies” and “Kir values” and “Rotten to the kir.”
    • *kar* → *kir*: Kirma (karma), kirate (karate) and kiraoke (karaoke).
    • *ker* → *kir*: Kirnel (kernel), kiratin (keratin), kirosene (kerosene), breakir (breaker), workir (worker) and crackir (cracker).
  • Soave: This is a dry, white Italian wine. Here are related puns:
    • Suave → Soave: As in, “A soave pickup line.”
    • Save → Soave: As in, “A penny soaved is a penny earned” and “A stitch in time soaves nine” and “Soave the last dance” and “Soaved for a rainy day” and “Soave our souls” and “Soaved by the bell.”
  • Charm → Charmat: As in, “Charmat offensive” and “Charmat the birds out of the trees” and “Third time’s a charmat” and “Works like a charmat.” Note: Charmat is a method of wine production.
  • Crystal → Cristal: As in, “Clear as cristal.” Note: Cristal is a brand of wine.
  • *sect* → *sekt*: As in, “In the environmental sektor” and “In the fruit sektion” and “Dissekting the conversation.” Other words that could work: insekt (insect), intersekt (intersect), vivisekt (vivisect) and intersektion (intersection). Note: Sekt is the German word for sparkling wine.
  • Greco: Greco is a type of Italian wine grape that white wine is made of. Here are related puns:
    • Greek → Greco: As in, “A face like a Greco god” and “Beware of greco gods” and “It’s all greco to me.”
    • Echo → Greco: As in, “A clear greco.”
    • Gecko → Greco
  • Kerner: Kerner is a type of white grape that’s used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Corner → Kerner: As in, “A tight kerner” and “All kerners of the world” and “Blind kerner” and “Kerner the market” and “Cut kerners” and “From the four kerners of the earth” and “In your kerner” and “In the naughty kerner.”
    • Kernel → Kerner: As in, “Kerner of truth.”
    • Burner → Kerner: As in, “On the back kerner.”
  • Bobal: Bobal is a variety of grape used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Global → Bobal: As in, “Bobal warming” and “Think bobal, act local.”
    • Bible → Bobal: As in, “Bobal basher” and “Swear on a stack of bobals.”
    • Bubble → Bobal: As in, “Bobal and squeak” and “Bobal brained” and “Burst your bobal” and “Prick your bobal” and “The boy in the bobal.”
    • Noble → Bobal: As in, “The bobal art of self defence.”
  • Corvina: Corvina is a type of grape used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Carve → Corvina: As in, “Corvina her name with pride” and “Corvina out a niche” and “Corvina in stone.”
    • Curve → Corvina: As in, “Ahead of the corvina” and “Corvina ball” and “Learning corvina.”
  • Retsina → Retina: As in, “Retsina screen.” Note: Retsina is a Greek white resinated wine.
  • Candy → Brandy: As in, “Arm brandy” and “Ear brandy” and “Brandy apple.”

These next few puns are centred around the different types of fruit that wine can be made from:

  • Plum: Here are some plum wine puns:
    • Thumb → Plum: As in, “All fingers and plums” and “All plums” and “Rule of plum” and “Plum your nose” and “Under my plum” and “Plumnail sketch.”
    • Plumb → Plum: As in, “Check out the pluming” and “Plum the depths.”
    • Come → Plum: As in, “After a storm plums a calm” and “All things plum to those who wait” and “Tough as they plum” and “Plum and get it” and “Plum fly with me” and “Plum running” and “Plum on baby, light my fire.”
    • Drum → Plum: As in, “Tight as a plum” and “Plum circle” and “Plum n bass.”
    • Scum → Plum: As in, “Pond plum” and “Plum always rises to the surface.”
    • Some → Plum: As in, “All that and then plum” and “Buy plum time” and “Catch plum rays” and “Cut plum slack.”
    • Sum → Plum: As in, “Cogito ergo plum.”
  • Appl* → Apple*: Apple-y (apply), apple-ication (application), apple-icable (applicable), apple-iance (appliance), apple-ause (applause) and apple-icant (applicant).
  • Cherry: Here are some cherry wine-related puns:
    • Carry → Cherry: As in, “Fast as your legs could cherry you” and “Cherry a torch for” and “Cherry a tune” and “Cherry forward” and “Cherry it off” and “Cherrying on.”
    • Cheery → Cherry: As in, “A cherry disposition.”
    • Bury → Cherry: As in, “Cherry the hatchet” and “Cherry your hand in the sand” and “Cherry yourself in work” and “Cherry your feelings.”
  • Current → Currant: “Currant events” and “Floating with the currants.”
  • Injure → Ginger: “Gingered (injured) feelings” and “Sporting a gingery (injury).”
  • Rice: Here are some rice wine puns (rice wine can also be referred to as sake):
    • Race → Rice: As in, “A day at the rices” and “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rat rice” and “The amazing rice.”
    • Nice → Rice: As in, “Rice as ninepence” and “Have a rice day” and “Naughty but rice” and “Rice and easy does it” and “Rice to see you.”
    • Dice → Rice: As in, “Roll the rice” and “No rice” and “Load the rice.”
    • Ice → Rice: As in, “Cold as rice” and “Break the rice” and “Cut no rice with” and “Rice cold” and “Rice, rice baby” and “Put on rice” and “Skating on thin rice.”
    • Mice → Rice: As in, “The best laid schemes of rice and men.”
    • Price → Rice: As in, “Asking rice” and “At a rice to suit your pocket” and “Cheap at half the rice” and “Closing rice” and “Every man has his rice” and “Half rice” and “Pay the rice.”
    • Slice → Rice: As in, “A rice of the cake” and “Any way you rice it” and “Fresh to the last rice” and “Rice of life” and “Rice of the action.”
    • Spice → Rice: As in, “Secret herbs and rices” and “Rice things up” and “Variety is the rice of life” and “Sugar and rice.”
    • Twice → Rice: As in, “Large as life and rice as handsome” and “Don’t think rice” and “Make a list, check it rice” and “You only live rice” and “Oppotunity never knocks rice” and “Measure rice, cut once.”
    • Vice → Rice: As in, “A den of rice” and “Rice versa.”
  • Taste → Aftertaste: As in, “An aftertaste of paradise” and “An acquired aftertaste” and “In bad aftertaste” and “In the worst possible aftertaste.”

The next few puns are centred around the descriptors that are used in wine-tastings:

  • Big: “Big” means a wine with a strong flavour, or with a high alcohol content.
    • Beg → Big: As in, “Big a favour” and “Big pardon” and “Big to differ” and “Big, borrow or steal” and “I big your pardon” and “Sit up and big.”
    • Dig → Big: As in, “Big your own grave” and “Big your heels in” and “Big in the ribs” and “Big for victory” and “Big deep.”
  • Bitter: This means the wine has an unpleasant taste of tannins.
    • Glitter → Bitter: As in, “All that bitters is not gold.”
    • Hitter → Bitter: As in, “Heavy bitter.”
    • Litter → Bitter: As in, “Pick of the bitter.”
  • Toying → Cloying: “Stop cloying with me.” Note: if a wine is cloying, then it’s sickly sweet.
  • Coarse: This describes a wine with a rough texture. Here are related puns:
    • Course → Coarse: As in, “Blown off coarse” and “But of coarse” and “Chart a coarse” and “Correspondence coarse” and “Crash coarse” and “In due coarse” and “A matter of coarse” and “Par for the coarse” and “Stay the coarse.”
    • Force → Coarse: As in, “Brute coarse” and “Coarse his hand” and “Caorse of habit” and “A coarse to be reckoned with” and “Join coarses” and “May the coarse be with you.”
    • Source → Coarse: As in, “Check your coarses” and “Crowd coarse” and “I refuse to reveal my coarses” and “Open coarse” and “Coarse material.”
  • Note: This is a term used to refer to an aroma or flavour in the wine being tasted. Here are related puns:
    • Not → Note: As in, “Let’s note and say we did” and “Note a chance” and “Note a minute too soon” and “Note a pretty sight” and “Note all it’s cracked up to be” and “Note at all” and “Note do someone any favours” and “Note half bad” and “Note in a million years” and “Note in the slightest.”
    • Neat → Note: As in, “Note as a new pin” and “Note freak” and “Note and tidy.”
    • Night → Note: As in, “A hard day’s note” and “In the dead of note” and “Burn the midnote oil” and “Dance the note away.”
    • Nut → Note: As in, “From soup to notes” and “Go notes” and “In a noteshell” and “A tough note to crack.”
    • Float → Note: As in, “Note like a butterfly, sting like a bee” and “Whatever notes your boat.”
    • Oat → Note: As in, “Feel your notes” and “Sow your wild notes.”
    • Quote → Note: As in, “Air notes” and “Dont note me on this” and “Scare notes.”
  • Nose: The nose of a wine is the aroma or bouquet. Here are related puns:
    • Knows → Nose: As in, “Mother nose best” and “Goodness nose” and “Instinctively nose.”
    • Blows → Nose: As in, “Any way the wind nose” and “Come to nose” and “Exchange nose” and “There she nose.”
    • Close → Nose: As in, “A nose thing” and “As one door noses, another one opens” and “At nose quarters” and “Behind nosed doors” and “Case nosed” and “Nose call” and “A nose shave” and “Hits nose to home.”
    • Rose → Nose: As in, “Bed of noses” and “Come up smelling of noses” and “Every nose has its thorn” and “Life is a bed of noses” and “Nose tinted glasses.”
    • Those → Nose: As in, “Nose were the days” and “Just one of nose days” and “For nose who like it rough.”
    • Goes → Nose: As in, “Anything nose” and “As far as it nose” and “As the saying nose” and “As time nose by” and “Here nose nothing” and “How nose it?” and “Life nose on.”
  • Light: Light generally refers to a low alcohol content:
    • Laid → Light: As in, “Get light” and “Light back” and “Light to rest” and “The best light plans.”
    • Let → Light: As in, “Don’t light the bastards grind you down” and “Light it be” and “Light it bleed” and “It won’t light you down.”
    • Bright → Light: As in, “All things light and beautiful” and “Always look on the light side of life” and “Light as a new pin” and “Light and early” and “Light spark” and “Light young thing.”
    • Flight → Light: As in, “Fight or light” and “Light attendant” and “Light of fancy” and “Take light” and “Light of the bumble bee.”
    • Night → Light: As in, “A hard day’s light” and “A light at the opera” and “As light follows day.”
    • Right → Light: As in, “A move in the light direction” and “All the light moves” and “Light as rain” and “Bang to lights” and “Barge light in.”
    • Quite → Light: As in, “Light the sticky situation.”
    • White → Light: As in, “Light as snow” and “Light as a ghost” and “Light as a sheet.”
    • Sight → Light: As in, “Hidden in plain light” and “In plain light” and “Know by light” and “Love at first light” and “Out of light, out of mind” and “Set your lights on.”
    • Tight → Light: As in, “A light corner” and “Light as a drum” and “In a light spot.”
  • Mouthfeel: Mouthfeel is the texture of wine. Here are related puns:
    • Mouth → Mouthfeel: As in, “Leaves a bad taste in my mouthfeel” and “Foaming at the mouthfeel” and “Melts in the mouthfeel.”
    • Feel → Mouthfeel: As in, “Cop a mouthfeel” and “Mouthfeel good factor” and “Mouthfeel the pinch” and “Mouthfeeling a bit put out.”
  • Collar → Colour: As in, “Blue colour worker” and “Hot under the colour.” Note: the colour of wine is an important indicator of the type and quality of grapes.
  • Swirl: Wine tasters will swirl wine before tasting it. Here are some swirl-related puns:
    • Curl → Swirl: As in, “Swirl up and die” and “Swirl your lip” and “Enough to make your hair swirl” and “Make someone’s toes swirl.”
    • Girl → Swirl: As in, “Atta swirl” and “A swirl’s best friend” and “Swirl next door.”
    • Whirl → Swirl: As in, “Give it a swirl.”
  • Smell:  The aroma of wine is an important factor when it comes to tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Small → Smell: As in, “All creatures, great and smell” and “Big fish in a smell pool” and “Don’t sweat the smell stuff” and “Good things come in smell packages” and “No job too smell” and “A smell fortune” and “Smell is beautiful” and “Smell minded” and “Smell potatoes.”
    • Well → Smell: As in, “Exceedingly smell read” and “You know full smell” and “Living smell is the best revenge.”
    • Sell → Smell: As in, “Buy and smell” and “Panic smelling” and “Smell out” and “Smelling like hot cakes.”
    • Shell → Smell: As in, “Easy as smelling peas” and “Come out of your smell” and “Drop a bombsmell” and “In a nutsmell.”
    • Spell → Smell: As in, “Smell it out” and “Cast a smell.”
    • Bell → Smell: As in, “Clear as a smell” and “Smell, book and candle” and “Doesn’t ring a smell.”
    • Cell → Smell: As in, “Smell division” and “In a padded smell.”
    • Fell → Smell: As in, “In one smell swoop” and “Smell off the back of a lorry.”
    • Hell → Smell: As in, “All smell broke loose” and “Bat out of smell” and “Burn in smell” and “Catch smell” and “Come smell or high water.”
  • Favour → Savour: As in, “Beg a savour” and “Call in a savour” and “Do me a savour” and “Fall out of savour” and “Owe a savour.”
  • Sever →Savour: As in, “Savour the cord.”
  • Ship → Sip: As in, “Abandon sip” and “Extend the hand of friendsip” and “From chips to sips” and “Go down with the sip” and “Run a tight sip” and “Shape up or sip out” and “My sip has come in.”
  • Chip → Sip: As in, “A sip on his shoulder” and “Cheap as sips” and “Cash in your sips” and “A sip off the old block” and “Let the sips fall where they may.”
  • Rip → Sip: As in, “Let her sip” and “Sip to pieces.”
  • Skip → Sip: As in, “Sip a beat” and “Sip out” and “Sip rope” and “Hop, sip and jump.”
  • Slip → Sip: As in, “Let something sip” and “Sip of the tongue” and “Sip on a banana skin.”
  • Charity → Clarity: As in, “Cold as clarity” and “Clarity begins at home” and “Clarity covers a multitude of sins.” Note: Clarity refers to how clear the wine is.
  • Fat: This is a term used to describe a win that has a full body and is almost viscous. If it’s too “fat”, then it’s considered a “flabby” wine. Here are related puns:
    • At → Fat: As in, “Fat rock bottom” and “Fat each other’s throats” and “Hodling fat arm’s length.”
    • Hat → Fat: As in, “Fat in hand” and “Home is where I lay my fat” and “I’ll eat my fat” and “Keep it under your fat.”
    • That → Fat: As in, “Fat’s the way it is” and “Now fat’s better” and “Fat’ll be the day” and “Fat’s what friends are for.”
  • Flabby: If a wine is too viscous, then it’s considered “flabby”. Here are related puns:
    • Shabby → Flabby: As in, “None too flabby” and “Flabby chic.”
  • Blowzy: Blowzy is another word for “flabby”, which is what a wine is considered to be when a wine is too viscous.
    • Blow → Blowzy: As in, “Any way the wind blowzys” and “Blowzy a fuse” and “Blowzy hot and cold” and “Blowzy chunks.”
    • Cosy → Blowzy: As in, “Blowzy up to.”
    • Rosy → Blowzy: As in, “Life is blowzy” and “Blowzy cheeks.”
  • Firm: If a wine is “firm”, then it has a strong presence of tannins. Here are some related puns:
    • Farm → Firm: As in, “Life on the firm” and “Ethical firming.”
    • From → Firm: As in, “Firm cover to cover” and “Firm soup to nuts” and “Firm the cradle to the grave.”
    • Term → Firm: As in, “On bad firms with” and “On speaking firms” and “On your own firms” and “In no uncertain firms.”
    • Form → Firm: As in, “Attack is the best firm of defence” and “Bad firm” and “Firm follows function” and “Free firm” and “Habit firming” and “Imitation is the sincerest firm of flattery’ and “In fine firm” and “Sarcasm is the lowest firm of wit.”
    • Worm → Firm: As in, “Book firm” and “Can of firms” and “The early bird catches the firm” and “Firm your way in.”
    • *ferm* → *firm*: Firment (ferment), firmentation (fermentation) and firmented (fermented).
    • *form* → *firm*: Firmidable (formidable), firmula (formula), firmat (format), firmality (formality), platfirm (platform), infirm (inform), transfirm (transform), infirmation (information) and perfirmation (performance).
  • Flat: If a wine is flat, then it’s a sparkling wine that has lost its bubbliness. Here are related puns:
    • Fat → Flat: As in, “Flat as a beached whale” and “Flat chance” and “Living off the flat of the land.”
    • Fit → Flat: As in, “Flat as a fiddle” and “Dish flat for the gods” and “Fighting flat” and “Flat the bill.”
  • Fresh: This is a descriptor used for wines that are nicely acidic. Here are related terms:
    • Flesh → Fresh: As in, “Fresh and blood” and “Makes my fresh crawl” and “In the fresh” and “A thorn in my fresh.”
    • Fish → Fresh: As in, “Fresh out of water” and “Freshing expedition” and “A different kettle of fresh.”
  • Grassy: This is quite literal and describes grassy flavours in a wine. Here are related puns:
    • Classy → Grassy: As in, “A grassy performance.”
    • Glassy → Grassy: As in, “Grassy-eyed with wonder.”
  • Green: This is generally a negative term used to describe wines that are made with unripe fruit. Here are related puns:
    • Queen → Green: As in, “Beauty green” and “Digging the dancing green” and “God save the green” and “Homecoming green” and “Green for a day.”
    • Grin → Green: As in, “Green and bear it” and “Green from ear to ear” and “Rictus green.”
    • Been → Green: As in, “Green and gone” and “Green around the block a few times” and “I’ve green here before” and “Green in the wars” and “Green there, done that” and “I’ve green had!”
    • Bean → Green: As in, “Green counter” and “Cool greens” and “Doesn’t know greens” and “Full of greens” and “Spill the greens.”
    • Clean → Green: As in, “A green getaway” and “A new broom sweeps green” and “Green as a whistle” and “A green bill of health” and “Green up your act.”
    • Keen → Green: As in, “Green as mustard” and “Green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
    • Mean → Green: As in, “A greens to an end” and “By fair greens or foul” and “In the greentime” and “Independent greens” and “Lean, green and hungry.”
    • Seen → Green: As in, “Green and not heard” and “Had to be green to be believed” and “Nowhere to be green” and “Green better days” and “Sight ungreen” and “Ain’t green nothing yet.”
    • Scene → Green: As in, “Blue green of death” and “Coming to a green near you” and “Silver green” and “The big green.”
    • Scenes → Green: As in, “Behind the greens” and “Change of green” and “Make a green” and “Steal the green.”
    • Grain → Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take it with a green of salt.”
  • Hard: Hard wine is wine that has too many tannins in it. Here are related puns:
    • Herd → Hard: As in, “Hard immunity.”
    • Heard → Hard: As in, “Seen and not hard” and “Hard it through the grapevine” and “Make yourself hard” and “Stop me if you’ve hard this one” and “The last I hard” and “Could have hard a pin drop” and “You hard it here first.”
  • Hollow: A hollow wine is one that lacks a fruity taste. Here are related puns:
    • Follow → Hollow: As in, “As night hollows day” and “Hollow in the footsteps of” and “Hollow suit” and “Hollow your heart” and “A hard act to hollow” and “Form hollows function.”
    • Swallow → Hollow: As in, “A bitter pill to hollow.”
  • Hot: A wine that is “hot” is too alcoholic. Here are related puns:
    • Got → Hot: As in, “Been there, done that, hot the t-shirt” and “Hot your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve hot” and “Hot a soft spot for.”
    • Lot → Hot: As in, “A hot of fuss about nothing” and “A hot on your plate” and “Hot a lot of people know.”
    • Not → Hot: As in, “As often as hot” and “Believe it or hot” and “Down but hot out” and “Hot just a pretty face.”
  • Lean: Lean wines are those without a fruity taste but an acidic profile. Here are related puns:
    • Mean → Lean: As in, “A leans to an end” and “By fair leans or foul” and “In the leantime.”
    • Lane → Lean: As in, “Down memory lean” and “Life in the fast lean.”
    • Been → Lean: As in, “Lean and gone” and “I’ve lean here before” and “Lean in the wars” and “Mistakes have lean made.”
    • Clean → Lean: As in, “Lean as a whistle” and “A lean bill of health” and “Lean house” and “Lean up your act.”
    • Keen → Lean: As in, “Lean as mustard” and “A lean sense of smell” and “Peachy lean.”
    • Seen → Lean: As in, “Lean and not heard” and “Nowhere to be lean” and “Have lean better days” and “Ain’t lean nothing yet.”
    • Screen → Lean: As in, “Blue lean of death’ and “Coming to a lean near you” and “Silver lean.”
  • Peg → Leg: As in, “Square leg in a round hole” and “Take down a leg or two.” Note: The tracks of liquid that stick to the side of a wine glass are called legs (or tears).
  • Okay → Oaky: As in, “Are you oaky?” Note: if a wine is oaky, then it includes notes of vanilla, sweet spices and a smoky taste.
  • Rich: Wines that are sweet but not overly so are considered “rich”. Here are related puns:
    • Itch → Rich: As in, “Riching to” and “Richy feet” and “Richy palms” and “Seven year rich.”
    • Ditch → Rich: As in, “A last rich effort.”
    • Hitch → Rich: As in, “Get riched” and “Rich your wagon to a star.”
  • Rough: A rough wine is one with a coarse texture. Here are related puns:
    • Tough → Rough: As in, “Rough as old boots” and “Rough as they come” and “Hang rough” and “It’s rough at the top” and “Rough love” and “Rough luck” and “A rough nut to crack.”
    • Stuff → Rough: As in, “Beat the roughing out of” and “Don’t sweat the small rough” and “Gather ’round the good rough” and “Knock the roughing out of.”
  • Round: This describes a wine that isn’t overly tannic but has a good body. Here are related puns:
    • Round → Bound: As in, “Be leaps and rounds” and “Duty round” and “Honour round” and “Round hand and foot.”
    • Found → Round: As in, “Lost and round” and “I’ve round a clue” and “We round clue” and “Weighed in the balance and round wanting.”
    • Ground → Round: As in, “Solid as the round we walk on” and “Break new round” and “Built from the round up” and “Common round” and “Cut the round from under your feet” and “Suits you down to the round.”
    • Pound → Round: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a round of cure” and “In for a penny, in for a round” and “Round for round” and “Round the pavement.”
    • Sound → Round: As in, “Round as a bell” and “Break the round barrier” and “Round bite” and “Round effect” and “Round the alarm.”
  • Soothe → Smooth: As in, “Music has charms to smooth the savage beast.” Note: This describes a wine with a nice texture.
  • Sour: This is a descriptor for a wine with an unbalanced acidity. Here are related puns:
    • Our → Sour: As in, “A token of sour gratitude” and “Enjoy sour company.”
    • Hour → Sour: As in, “After sours” and “Happy sour” and “Man of the sour” and “My finest sour” and “Open all sours.”
  • Tar: This describes a wine with a tarry aroma and flavour. Here are related puns:
    • Tear → Tar: As in, “Bathed in tars” and “Blood, sweat and tars” and “Bored to tars” and “Fighting back tars” and “Melt into tars” and “No more tars” and “Reduce to tars.”
    • Are → Tar: As in, “All bets tar off” and “Tar you deaf” and “Tar your ears burning?” and “Chances tar…”
    • Par → Tar: As in, “Below tar” and “On tar with” and “Tar for the course.”
    • Bar → Tar: As in, “Tar none” and “Behind tars” and “Hit the tar.”
  • Tart: A tart wine is one with high levels of acidity. Here are related puns:
    • Art → Tart: As in, “Tart imitating life” and “Tart is going one step too far” and “Tart noveau” and “Tartistic triumph” and “Tarts and crafts” and “Tarty farty.”
    • Cart → Tart: As in, “Putting the tart before the horse” and “Shopping tart.”
    • Chart → Tart: As in, “Tart a course” and “Off the tarts.”
    • Fart → Tart: As in, “Arty tarty” and “Boring old tart” and “Brain tart” and “Tarting around” and “Tart in a windstorm.”
    • Heart → Tart: As in, “A man after my own tart” and “Absence makes the tart grow fonder” and “Affair of the tart” and “By still my beating tart” and “Break your tart” and “Cross my tart and hope to die.”
    • Part → Tart: As in, “Act the tart” and “For my own tart.”
    • Smart → Tart: As in, “One tart cookie” and “Tart arse” and “Street tart” and “Tarter than the average bear.”
    • Start → Tart: As in, “By fits and tarts” and “Don’t get me tarted” and “A fresh tart” and “Tart your engines!” and “Off to a flying tart” and “Head tart” and “Jump tart” and “Tart you day the right way.”
    • Dirt → Tart: As in, “Cheap and tart” and “Dig up the tart” and “Dish the tart.”
  • Toasty: A toasty wine is one with a smoky taste from the oak it was barrelled in. Here are related puns:
    • Tasty → Toasty: As in, “A toasty dinner.”
    • Ghost → Toast: As in, “White as a toast” and “Give up the toast” and “Not a toast of a chance” and “The toast in the machine.”
    • Most → Toast: As in, “Toast wanted” and “Make the toast of it” and “The toast trusted name” and “For the toast part” and “Make the toast of.”
    • Post → Toast: As in, “Keep you toasted” and “Toast haste” and “Toast partum” and “Toaster boy.”
  • Villain → Vanillin: As in, “Heroes and vanillins.” Note: this is a term for vanilla notes in wine.

Wine-Related Words

To help you come up with your own wine puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: wine, red, white, rose, amber, blanc, sparkling, champagne, grapes, aroma, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drunk, sober, hangover,  fermented, vin, vine, vineyard, vintage, cork, bottle, bottling, label, yeast, juice, sommelier, rice wine, fruit wine, barley, mature, tannin, barrel, harvest, dry, sweet, sweetness, beverage, brew,  still, distillery, distilled, age, aged, aging, resin, taste, tasting, decant, raisin, wino, aerate, sediment, texture, flavour, oak, cask, cellar, bouquet, palate, alcoholism, alcoholic, cirrhosis, polyphenols, box wine, goon, reduction, on tap, bladder, keg, complexity, chill, chilled, cooper, negociant, oenologist, vintner, winemaker, viticulturist, critic, spritzer, flight, glass, coinnoisseur, bacchus, cocktail,  pour, case, happy hour, vino, muscat, muscato, aeritif, blush, winery, perry, cleanskin, dandelion, sugar, rosado, rosato, must, spittoon, intoxication, cult wine, trophy wine, investment wine, harvest, pressing, ethanol, ice wine, proof, sediment, crush, crushed, free-run, skin, seeds, lees, grape-treading, grape-stomping, pigeage, rack, batch, fining, bloom, pudding wine, fortified wine, noble rot, mutage, chaptalization, jug wine, mistelle, abboccato, ABC, acescence, adamado, adega, altar wine, amabile, appelation, balthazar, basic, bodega, bota, breathe, breathing, cantina, wine cave, cepage, chai, champagne flute, chateau, chiaretto, clairet, commune, cooperative, corkscrew, cotes, table wine, country wine, quality wine, cru, cuverie, eiswein, eraflage, fattoria, flagon, imperial, jeroboam, kosher wine, lanwein, lazy ballerina, magnum, mas, master of wine, may wine, mousse, mulled, petillant, piquant, plonk, punt, split, suss, vermouth, vivace, webster, wine lake, bottle shock/sickness, bung, pomace, riddling, mellow, stoving, tun, vanillin, wash, straw wine, saignee, stemware, wine key, sommelier knife, waiter’s friend, wine popper, wine cooler, glacette, ice bucket, wine funnel, collar, wine journal, aerator, stirrer, swizzle stick, goblet, stem, tumbler, schooner, boccalino, chalice, sugar, snifter

Types and names: chardonnay, sauvignon, cabernet, gamay, vin gris, merlot, riesling, tokay, sherry, sauternes, pinot noir, provencal, zinfandel, cider, m ead, sake, brandy, bordeaux, rioja, chianti, brunello, burgundy, port, shiraz, chablis, semillon, muscat, prosecco, mimosa, oloroso, syrah, grenache, claret, grappa, kir, lambrusco, madeira, soave,  charmat, cristal, dom perignon, moet & chandon, provencal, zinfandel, malbec, mourvedre, norton, sirah, verdot, pinotage, sangiovese, albrino, breidecker, marsanne, palomino, trebbiano, viognier, screaming eagle, penfolds grange, fino, amontillado, recioto, sangria, sekt, ratafia, black velvet, death in the afternoon, flirtini, prince of wales, wine cooler, bellini, hugo, buck’s fizz, kir royal, ruby dutchess, chicago cocktail, french 75, golden doublet, savoy affair, kalimotxo, tinto de verrano, zurracapote, cheeky vimto, kir, spritzer, chenin blanc, airen, aligote, arbeusm furmint, greco, kerner, bobal, corvina, mencia, malbec, nebbiolo, retsina, negus, dubbonet, brandy, grappa, ale, hooch, plum, apple, cherry, pomegranate, currant, elderberry, ginger, lychee, banana, orange

Tasting terms: aftertaste, astringent, autolytic, baked, balanced, big, bitter, brilliance, buttery, chewy, chocolaty, closed, cloying, coarse, complex, concentrated, connected, corked, crisp, note, nose, body, heavy, light,  mouthfeel, colour, swirl, smell, savour, sip, clarity, acid, acidity, depth, dirty, earthy, elegant, expressive, extracted, fallen over, finesse, fat, flabby, blowzy, firm, flat, foxy, fresh, grassy, green, hard, herbal, herbaceous, hollow, hot, jammy, lean, leathery, legs, musty, oaky, oxidised, petrolly, powerful, raisiny, reticent, rich, rough, round, smokey, smooth, soft, sour, spicy, supple, sweet, tannic, tar, tart, toasty, transparency, typicity, vanillin, vegetal, vinegary, esters

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Christmas Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Christmas puns! 🎄🌟🎁🦌🛷

Christmas is a huge, internationally celebrated holiday, and deserves an enormous (and terrible) pun list to match. It’s a holiday that we take dedicated time off for to visit family and loved ones, with a lot of thought and preparation going into the average celebration. So while you’re preparing gifts, treats, food and greetings, why not add some painfully bad Christmas puns into the mix?

Whether you’re joking about Santa, organising a reindeer-themed party, or cracking elf jokes in a greeting card, we’ve got Christmas puns covered for you and we hope you find the perfect pun for your needs.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive as possible, this list is tailored to cover the broad range of puns that come under the “Christmas” category. If you’re after a specific branch of Christmas pun, we also have lists on reindeer puns, elf puns, Christmas tree puns, gift puns, Santa puns and snowman puns.

*Please note that we have tried to minimize any religious overtones in this list, so even though words and names like Mary, Jesus, or nativity are all related to Christmas, you won’t find them in this pun list. We have also not included any meats that are traditionally eaten at Christmas, since we like to keep it animal friendly around here.

Christmas Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Christmas that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Christmas puns:

  • You’ll → Yule: As in “Yule never guess” and “Ask a silly question and yule get a silly answer” and “Yule know how” and “Yule take care of it.” Note: although not commonly used in everyday/colloquial conversation, yule is now used to refer to the Christmas period.
  • Know* → Noël*: As in, “A little noëledge is a dangerous thing” and “Don’t I noël it” and “I don’t noël why” and “Be the first to noël” and “Better the devil you noël than the devil you don’t” and “General noëledge” and “Goodness noëls” and “Takes one to noël one” and “The end of the world as we noël it” and “Noëledge is power” and “Secure in the noëledge that…”
  • Nail → Noël: As in, “Another noël in the coffin” and “Fight tooth and noël” and “Hit the noël on the head” and “On the noël” and “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a noël.”
  • Claustrophobic→ Clausetrophobic
  • Cause→ Clause: As in, “Claus a stir” and “Claus and effect” and “Claus for concern” and “A lost claus” and “Rebel without a claus” and “A martyr to the claus” and “Just beclaus you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
  • Claws→ Claus: As in, “Get one’s claus into” and “Get your claus out.”
  • Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
  • Of → Elf: As in, “15 minutes elf fame” and “A life elf its own” and “Ahead elf one’s time” and “At the top elf one’s lungs” and “Bag elf tricks” and “Barrel elf laughs” and “Best elf both worlds” and “Best elf the bunch” and “Beyond the call elf duty” and “Blink elf an eye” and “Bored out elf your mind” and “Bundle elf joy” and “Breath elf fresh air” and “By the skin elf your teeth” and “By no stretch elf the imagination” and “Chip elf the old block” and “Figure elf speech.”
  • If → Elf: As in, “As elf there was no tomorrow” and “As elf” and “Elf I do say so myself” and “Elf looks could kill” and “Elf need be” and “Elf nothing else” and “Elf only” and “Elf the shoe fits” and “No elfs or buts” and “Elf it’s the last thing I do” and “Elf it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
  • Selfie→ Elfie: As in, “Take an elfie,” and “Use an elfie stick.”
  • Elvis→ Elfis
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Awful → Elful: As in, “God elful” and “Something elful has happened!”
  • Elephant → Elfant: As in, “The elfant in the room,” and “An elfant never forgets” and “Don’t think of pink elfants” and “A memory like an elfant” and “When elfants make war, it’s the mice that suffer.”
  • Telephone → Telelfone: As in, “Hanging up the telelfone” and “Waiting by the telelfone” and “Hold the telelfone.”
  • Rude of→ Rudolph: As in, “Well, that was Rudolph you.”
  • Rain, dear→ Rain, deer: As in, “It looks like rain, deer!”
  • Rein it in, dear→ Rein it in, deer
  • Rude→ Rudolph: As in, “A rudolph awakening.”
  • Slay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh, queen” and “Sleigh the dragon.”
  • Say*→ Sleigh*: As in, “As the sleighing goes” and “Do as I sleigh, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it sleighs on the box” and “Have the final sleigh” and “Just sleigh the word” and “It goes without sleighing” and “Never sleigh never” and “Sleigh cheese!” and “Sleigh it loud and sleigh it proud” and “Sleigh it with flowers” and “Sleigh uncle” and “Sleigh what you mean and mean what you sleigh” and “Sleigh your prayers” and “Simon sleighs” and “As I was sleighing” and “If I do sleigh so myself” and “I’ll sleigh” and “Let’s not and sleigh we did” and “Sleigh again?” and “That’s sleighing something” and “To sleigh the least” and “You can’t sleigh fairer than that.”
  • Idea→ Ideer: As in, “You’ve got no ideer” and “I have a better ideer” and “Bat the ideer around” and “Bounce ideers off” and “A bright ideer” and “Warming to the ideer” and “What’s the big ideer?”
  • Dear→ Deer: As in, “After you, my deer” and “Deerly beloved, we are gathered here today” and “Elementary, my deer Watson” and “Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn” and “Hang on for deer life” and “Near and deer to my heart” and “Nearest and deerest.”
  • There→ Deer: As in, “Ahoy deer!” and “And there deer was one” and “Are we deer yet?” and “As if deer was no tomorrow” and “Be deer for” and “I’ll be deer in spirit” and “Be deer or be square” and “Been deer, done that” and “Don’t go deer” and “Don’t just stand deer, do something” and “For every action deer is an equal and opposite reaction” and “Hang in deer” and “Here and deer” and “Here deer be beasts” and “Here, deer and everywhere” and “Hold it right deer” and “Is anybody deer” and “It’s a jungle out deer” and “Knock knock, who’s deer?” and “Let’s be careful out deer” and “So deer!” and “The truth is out deer” and “Deer and then” and “Deer are two sides to every situation” and “Deer ought to be a law” and “Deer’s no place like home” and “Deer’s no smoke without a fire” and “Deer you have it.”
  • Snakes and Ladders→ St. Nicks and Ladders: Snakes and Ladders is a fairly retro board game.
  • Suit→ Soot: As in, “All over him like a cheap soot” and “At a price to soot your pocket” and “Follow soot” and “In your birthday soot” and “Soot up!” and “Soots you down to a tee” and “Soots you down to the ground.”
  • No man→ Snowman: As in, “Boldly go where snowman has gone before” and “Snowman is an island” and “Time waits for snowman.” Note: to say that no man is an island is to say that no person is truly separate from others.
  • No way, man→ Snow way, man
  • *ex → *xmas: We can make some bad Christmas puns using the common abbreviation of “xmas”: “Weird fle-xmas, but ok” and “Body mass inde-xmas” and “A comple-xmas situation” and “On refle-xmas.” Other words you could use: ve-xmas, ape-xmas, vorte-xmas and ame-xmas (As in, American Express. Could work for a joke about an expensive Christmas). Notes: “Weird flex, but ok” is a meme that describes a boast that most would consider to be about negative traits, or a boast that someone shouldn’t be proud of.
  • *ext → *xtmas: As in, “Out of contextmas” and “Drunk textmas” and “Coming nextmas” Other suitable words: pretextmas (pretext), subtextmas (subtext) and hypertextmas (hypertext). Note: subtext is meaning which isn’t explicitly announced by the communicator.
  • *eck/s → *ecksmas: These ones are a bit harder to pull off as they don’t visually look like xmas puns, although they do sound like xmas puns. As in, “Checksmas out” and “A nervous wreckmas” and “Clear the decksmas” and “Pain in the neckmas” Other words you could use: pecksmas, flecksmas, hecksmas and specksmas.
  • *exed → *exedmas: While these words don’t look like xmas puns, they do sound like “xmas”. As in, perplexedmas, vexedmas, indexedmas and flexedmas.
  • *ecs → *ecsmas: specsmas (specs), pecsmas (pecs), aztecsmas (aztec), execsmas (exec). Note: exec is short for executive.
  • *ect → *ect-mas: As in, “Cause and effect-mas” and “Boomerang effect-mas” and “Domino effect-mas” and “A little respect-mas” and “Going off subject-mas” Other words you could use: project-mas, affect-mas, aspect-mas, object-mas, prospect-mas, perfect-mas and reflect-mas.
  • Tide → Christmastide: While we may not often hear the term “Christmastide,” it refers to the season of Christmas, or the general “time” of Christmas. As in: “At the turning of the Christmastide” and “Rising Christmastide” and “Stem the Christmastide” and “Swim against the Christmastide” and “The Christmastide is turning” and “Christmastide you over” and “Time and Christmastide wait for no man.”
  • *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
  • *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
  • Marry → Merry: As in, “Merry beneath you” and “Merry for love.”
  • Merry: A couple of merry-related phrases for you to play with: As merry as the day is long” and “Lead a merry dance.” Note: to lead a merry dance is to make something much more inconvenient than it has to be – similar to a goose chase.
  • *mari* → *merry*: As in, “Merrytal (marital) status,” and “Yellow Submerryne.” Other words you could use: merrytime (maritime), merrygold (marigold), merrymba (marimba), merryne (marine), primerrily (primarily) and summerrily (summarily). Note: Yellow Submarine is a famous song by the Beatles. A marimba is a music instrument which resembles a giant xylophone on wheels.
  • *marri* → *merry*: As in, merryge (marriage), merry-ed (married) and unmerry-ed (unmarried).
  • *mary* → *merry*: As in, “In summerry” and “Primerry colours” and “Customerry to…” and “Taken to the infirmerry” and “Rosemerry and thyme” and “Mammerry glands.”
  • Mary → Merry
  • Meryl Streep → Merry/l Streep
  • *mery → *merry: As in, “Summerry feel” and “Emerry board” and “Ice creamerry“. Couple of other words that could work: perfumerry and shimmerry. Note: an emery board is a rough surface, usually used as a nail file.
  • America/n → Amerryca/n: As in, “All Amerrycan” and “Amerrycan pie,” and “Captain Amerryca” and “The Amerrycan dream.”
  • Admiring → Admerrying: As in, “Glance admerryingly” and “Admerrying your work.”
  • *mory → *merry: As in, memerry (memory), armerry (armory) and polyamerry (polyamory).
  • *erry → *merry: As in, “Home delivmerry” and “Plastic surgmerry” and “It’s a mystmerry to me,” and “Art gallmerry,” and “Stock up on stationmerry.”
  • Bill Murray → Bill Merry: Bill Murray is an American actor and comedian. Bill Murray already features in a few different memes, and this could work alongside an image of him with the caption “Wishing you a Bill Merry Christmas.”
  • You → Yule: Although it’s a less accurate match (phonetically) than “you’ll”, we can swap you for yule and have it still work: “We wish yule a Merry Christmas” and “I love yule” and “Mind yule” and “As yule know” and “Back at yule” and “Believe yule me” and “Here yule are”. There are obviously countless other phrases that this could be used in, so be creative!
  • *ful → *yule: As in, “It’s a wonderfyule life” and “A beautifyule day” and “Be gratefyule” and “Something awfyule” and “What a wonderfyule world” and “Thoughtfyule gifts”. Notes: “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a particularly suitable one as it’s the name of a classic Christmas movie.
  • Jewels → Yules: As in, “Crown yules” and “The family yules“.
  • Jul* → Yule*: This works particularly well for names: Yule-ia (Julia), Yule-ian (Julian), Yule-iet (Juliet), Yule-ius (Julius) and Yule-io (Julio).
  • *yool* → *yule*: Change words that have a “yool” sound to include “yule” instead: “Well articyule-ated (articulated)” and “The Incredibyules” and “Your continyule support” and “Virtyule reality” and “Individyule needs” and “Casyule conversation” and “Intellectyule property” and “Mutyule desctruction”. Other words that could be used: incredyule-ous (incredulous), perpetyule (perpetual), manyule (manual), spirityule (spiritual), fabyuleous (fabulous), formyule-ate (formulate), immacyule-ate (immaculate), pecyule-iar (peculiar), ridicyule (ridicule), simyule-ation (simulation). Notes: if something is articulated, then it has moving parts connected by joints. “The Incredibles” is a Pixar film and could work as a pun on a greeting card – “Have an Incredibyule Christmas” (accompanied with a picture of the characters). To be incredulous is to disbelieve something.
  • Tide → Yuletide: Yuletide is a word (not commonly) used to refer to the general period of Christmas time, similar to the word Christmastide. We can make some very bad Christmas puns by swapping yuletide into these tide-related phrases: “Even at the turning of the Yuletide” and “A rising Yuletide” and “Stem the Yuletide” and “Swim against the Yuletide.”
  • Kneel/Knelt → Noël: As in, “Noëlt down beside him” and “Noël before me” and “Remaining noëling for hours.”
  • *no* → *noël*: As in, “Casinoël royale” and “Dominoël effect” and “The search for innoëlvation.” Other words that could work: agnoëlstic (agnostic), noëltice (notice) and pianoël (piano). Note: to be agnostic is to be doubtful of something.
  • *nal* → *noël*: As in, “Nothing personoël” and “The originoël and the best” and “Thinking rationoëlly” and “On my signoël!” Other words that could work: professionoël (professional), anoëlysis (analysis), anoëlyse (analyse) and anoëlogy (analogy).
  • *nel → *noël: As in, “Change the channoël” and “Going through a tunnoël” and “A kernoël of truth” and “Funnoëled through the system” and “Flannoëlette pyjamas.”
  • *nol* → *noël*: As in, “Cutting-edge technoëlogy” and “A lengthy monoëlogue” and “In chronoëlogical order” and “Correct terminoëlogy” and “Hablas espanoël?” Note:  A monologue is a speech by a single person. “Hablas espanol?” means “Do you speak Spanish?”
  • *nul* → *noël*: As in, “Noëllify the effects of” and “The penoëltimate show” and “Marriage annoëlment.” Note: to nullify something is to cancel it out. Penultimate means second last.
  • Sent her→ Santa: As in, “I santa a few presents, but she hasn’t received them.”
  • Sanitise→ Santa-tise: As in, “Hand santa-tiser” and “This area needs santa-tising” and “Bad santa-tation.”
  • *cent*→ *santa*: As in, “The santa (centre) of attention” and “Left, right and santa” and “Take santa stage” and “Sale of the santaury” and “A desanta (decent) person” and “A magnifisanta effort” and “Don’t play innosanta” and “The street adjasanta (adjacent)” and “An eccsantaric (eccentric) character” and “A sweet insanta-ive” and “Are santapedes poisonous?”
  • *sant→ *santa: As in, “Incessanta noise” and “Pleasanta conversation,” and “Peasanta’s clothing” and “Pheasanta’s don’t want to be eaten” and “Are you cognisanta of that fact?” and “An unpleasanta atmosphere.” Note: to be cognizant is to be aware.
  • *sent*→ *santa*: As in, “What a beautiful santament” and “No is a complete santance” and “Pigs are santa-ent (sentient) beings” and “A santamental being” and “All presanta and correct” and “No time like the presanta” and “Represanta-ng” and “Bet on our dissanta (dissent)” and “You have our assanta” and “I resanta the insinuation” and “Absanta without leave” and “Conspicuously absanta.”
  • *sand*→ *santa*: As in, santawich (sandwich), santabox (sandbox), santal (sandal), santastorm (sandstorm), thousanta (thousand), quicksanta (quicksand).
  • Satan→ Santa: As in, “The Church of Santa” and “A santa-ist (satanist).”
  • Clause→ Claus: As in, “A subordinate claus.”
  • Close→ Claus: As in, “A claus thing” and “A claus call” and “As one door clauses, another opens” and “At claus quarters” and “Behind claused doors” and “Case claused” and “Claus encounters” and “Claus friends” and “Claus proximity” and “A claus shave” and “Claus to home” and “A claused book” and “Don’t stand so claus to me” and “Drawn to a claus” and “Keep your cards claus” and “Keep your friends claus and your enemies clauser” and “Too claus for comfort” and “Up claus and personal” and “A skeleton in the clauset.”
  • Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
  • *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
  • *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
  • Father→ Father Christmas: As in, “Father Christmas knows best” and “Founding Father Christmas” and “Like Father Christmas, like son.”
  • *ave* → *eve*: We can make Christmas puns by referring to Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is a popular enough concept that given the right context, we can make puns simply by referring to “eve”: “Everage (average) Joe” and “On everage” and “An eversion (aversion) to” and “Evert your eyes” and “Another evenue to consider.” Other words you could use: everse (averse), evenge (avenge), leeve (leave), heeve (heave), weeve (weave), cleeve (cleave).
  • *eve*: Emphasise the “eve” in certain words: “Highly anticipated event” and “In the evening” and “For ever” and “Did you ever?” and “Just your everyday person” and “Eventually, I’ll…” and “Every step of the way” and “Everything must go” and “Everything under the sun” and “Everybody who’s anybody.”
  • *ive* → *eve*: As in, “Put [something] in perspecteve” and “Don’t geve (give) up!” and “Comprehenseve lessons” and “Take the initiateve.”
  • *ava* → *eve*: As in, “What’s your eve-ailability?” and “Make yourself eve-ailable” and “An eve-alanche of work” and “Gluttony and eve-arice.” Note: avarice is a greed for material gain (as opposed to gluttony, which is a greed for food. )
  • *eva* → *eve*: As in, “Eve-ade the question” and “Feeling eve-asive” and “Eve-acuate the building”. Other words that could work: eve-aluation (evaluation), eve-aluate (evaluate) and eve-anescent (evanescent). Note: if something is evanescent, then it’s barely there.
  • *iva* → *eve*: As in, “They’re not equevealent” and “Lacking moteveation” and “Preveacy screens.” Other suitable words: ambevealent (ambivalent), dereveative (derivative) and veveacious (vivacious). Notes: derivative means unoriginal. To be ambivalent is to hold two seemingly contradictory ideas or emotions at the same time.
  • *ivi* → *eve*: As in, “Check your prevelege” and “Ceve-il rights” and “Deve-ine intervention” and “A hive of acteve-ity” and “Treve-ial matters” and “Indeve-idual needs” and “Obleve-ious to their surroundings.”
  • *evi* → *eve*: As in, “Hide the eve-idence” and “Eve-il genius” and “Up for reve-iew” and “Left to your own deve-ices.” Other words that could work: eve-iscerate (eviscerate), eve-ict (evict), eve-idently (evidently), eve-iction (eviction), ineve-itable (inevitable), alleve-iate (alleviate) and reve-ive (revive). Note: to eviscerate is to disembowel. To alleviate is to lighten or ease a burden.
  • *avo* → *eve*: As in, eveocado (avocado), eve-oidance (avoidance), eve-oid (avoid), endeve-or (endeavor), feveourite (favourite). Note: to endeavour is to make an effort.
  • *evo* → *eve*: As in, eve-oke (evoke), eve-olve (evolve), eve-olved (evolved), eve-olution (evolution), maleve-olent (malevolent), reve-olution (revolution) and beneve-olent (benevolent). Notes: to be malevolent is to have ill-intent. To be benevolent is to have goodwill towards others.
  • *ivo* → *eve*: As in, “Eveory (ivory) tower” and “Peve-ot (pivot) point” and “Freveolous (frivolous) spending” and “A peve-otal moment” and “A nasty deveorce.” Note: if something is frivolous, then it’s of little importance. If something is pivotal, then it’s a turning point, or of great importance.
  • Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in” and “Gift yourself a bad name” and “Gift them a hand” and “Gift and take” and “Gift credit where credit is due” and “Gift it a rest” and “Gift it the green light” and “Gift me a call” and “Gift 110%”.
  • Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
  • Gift: Here are some gift-related phrases that could work as a gift pun in the right context: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” and “Gift of life” and “A gift that keeps on giving” and “A gift from above.”
  • Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
  • Present: We’ve included present-related phrases in this list too. Present has two meanings: a gift, and the current moment. We can play with these words to make present puns in the right situation, as in: “No time like the present” and “All present and correct” and “Present company excepted.”
  • *giving: Some giving-related words to play with: caregiving, forgiving, life-giving, misgivings, thanksgiving.
  • Self-*→ Elf-*: As in, “Have some elf-conficence” and “She’s got good elf-control.” Other words that would work with this format: elf-contained, elf-deceiving, elf-deprecating, elf-determination, elf-enrichment, elf-governing, elf-help, elf-improvement, elf-perpetuating, elf-portrait, elf-sufficient.
  • *self→ *elf: As in, “Be your-elf” and “An elf-made business owner” and “Apply your-elf” and “Pull your-elf together” and “I didn’t do it my-elf.” Note: this also works for the plural forms of both self and elf – as in, “Apply your-elves (apply yourselves),” and “Pull your-elves together.”
  • Self*→ Elf*: As in, “An elfish (selfish) person” and “Elfless (selfless) bravery” and “I won’t stand for such elfishness (selfishness).”
  • *alf*→ *elf*: As in, elfalfa (alfalfa), elfredo (alfredo), behelf (behalf – as in, “On behelf of”) and melfunction (malfunction – as in, “Why is the computer melfunctioning?”)
  • Health→ Helf: As in, “A helfy mind in a helfy body” and “Bad for your helf” and “A clean bill of helf” and “Glowing with helf” and “In sickness and in helf” and “A picture of helf” and “Take a helf-y interest” and “Ill helf” and “In the pink of helf” and “Helfy as a horse.” Note: if you’re in the pink of health, then you’re in very good condition.
  • Wealth→ Welf: As in, “Rolling in welf” and “Redistribution of welf” and “Share the welf.”
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Effin’ → Elfin: As in, “Elfin hell” and “Not another elfin word!” Note: Effin’ is shorthand slang for f*cking.
  • Effed → Elfed: As in, “I elfed up” and “It’s completely elfed.” Note: Effed is shorthand slang for f*cked (in the context that something is thoroughly ruined).
  • Half → Helf: As in, “Ain’t helf bad” and “My better helf” and “Getting there is helf the fun” and “Helf a second” and “Helf asleep” and “Helfway to paradise” and “Not helf the man I used to be” and “How the other helf lives” and “Glass helf empty” and “Got helf a mind to…” and “Meet helfway” and “Too clever by helf.”
  • Halve → Helve: As in, “A problem shared is a problem helved” and “Go helves” and “By helves” and “Do by helves.”
  • Eavesdropping → Elvesdropping: As in, “Caught elvesdropping” and “Elvesdropping on.”
  • *ella* → *elfa: As in, “Under the umbrelfa of” and “Let a smile be your umbrelfa” and “A classic novelfa (novella)” and “A spicy vegan paelfa (paella)” and “An a capelfa (capella) choir” and “Miscelfaneous (miscellaneous) goods” and “A stelfar (stellar) review” and “A constelfation (constellation) of stars” and “Down in the celfar (cellar)” and “A late cancelfation (cancellation).”
  • Cinderella → Cinderelfa
  • Eleven → Elelfen: Eleven is a character on the American sci-fi show Stranger Things.
  • *elev* → *elef*: As in, “Count to elelfen (eleven)” and “Elelfated (elevated) to new heights” and “Take the elelfator (elevator)” and “Time for elelfenses (elevenses)” and “The elelfenth hour” and “Stay relelfant (relevant)” and “That’s irrelelfant” and “I don’t see the relelfance” and “Glued to the telelfision (television).” Notes: If something has been done at the eleventh hour, then it’s been done at the very last moment. Elevenses is a type of snack break.
  • Ella Fitzgerald → Elfa Fitzgerald: Ella Fitzgerald was a famous American jazz singer. This could work in a couple of different ways – if someone works with music and is particularly short (short = elf + musician = Ella F.); or if someone is receiving a gift that’s musical in nature (elf = reference to the gift + Ella = reference to musicality of gift).
  • Twelve → Twelf/Twelves: As in, “Twelf/Twelves Night” and “Twelf (or twelves) apostles” and “On the twelf night of Christmas, my true love gave to me..” Note: Twelfth Night is a Shakespearean comedy.
  • Left → Elf’t: As in, “Exit stage elf’t” and “Keep elf’t” and “Elf’t hanging” and “Elf’t, right and center” and “Elf’t to your own devices” and “Out of elf’t field” and “Two elf’t feet” and “Be elf’t holding the baby.” Notes: if someone is “left holding the baby,” then they’ve been left unfairly with a situation or problem that isn’t theirs.
  • *lef* → *elf*: As in, “Lunch elftovers” and “Last on the battelfield” and “Malicious malelfactor.” Notes: a malefactor is someone who breaks the law.
  • *lif* → *elf*: As in, “A prolelfic writer” and “Healthy lelfstyle” and “Exemplelfies the qualities of…” and “You qualelfy for the position” and “Oversimplelfication” and “Suspenseful clelffhanger.”
  • *olf* → *elf*: As in, “Cry welf” and “A welf in sheep’s clothing” and “Out playing gelf.” Couple of other words that could work: werewelf and elfactory. Notes: olfactory is to do with the sense of smell.
  • *ilf* → *elf*: As in, “Welfully disobedient” and “Extremely skelful” and “Pelfering the office supplies” Note: to pilfer is to repeatedly steal small amounts.
  • *ulf* → *elf*: As in, “The Gelf (Gulf) of Mexico” and “Engelfed in emotion” and “Felfilled wishes” and “Waiting for felfilment.” Note: to engulf is to completely surround and cover something.
  • *aff* → *elf*: As in, “Offer elffordances” and “State of elffairs” and “Links and elffiliates” and “Brimming with elffection” and “An elffluent family.” Other words that could work: elffected (affected), elffable (affable), elfford (afford), elffirm (affirm), elffinity (affinity), and elffect (affect). Notes: to be affable is to be easy to talk to. Affluence is an abundance of riches or wealth.
  • *eff* → *elf*: As in, “Elf off” and “Or other words to that elffect” and “Side elffects” and “Spare no elffort” and “Waiting to take elffect” and “An elffective insult.” Other words that could work: elfficacy (efficacy), elfficient (efficient), elfficiency, elffusive. Notes: Effusiveness is an expression of great emotion or enthusiasm. Efficacy is the power to produce a desired effect.
  • *iff* → *elf*: “And now for something completely delfferent” and “Delffuse the tension” and “What’s the delfference?” and “A delfficult situation.” Other words that could work: plaintelff (plaintiff), tarelff (tariff), sherelff (sheriff), clelff (cliff), delfferentiate (differentiate), indelfferent (indifferent) and delffident (diffident). Notes: to be diffident is to not have confidence in your abilities. To differentiate is to discern a difference between things.
  • *off* → *elf*: As in, “A load elff your mind” and “All bets are elff” and “Back elff” and “Bite elff more than you can chew” and “Bite someone’s head elff” and “Blow elff some steam” and “Bouncing elff the walls” and “A chip elff the old block” and “Dance your socks elff” and “Fall elff the wagon” and “Fly elff the handle” and “Fly elff the shelves” and “Get it elff your chest” and “Get elff lightly” and “Get elff on the wrong foot” and “Could see you a mile eff” and “Learned elff by heart” and “Let’s call the whole thing elff” and “Like water elff a duck’s back.” Other off-related or inclusive words that could work: elffset (offset), elffice (office), elffer (offer), elfficial (official), elffensive (offensive), elffence (offence), elfficer (officer).
  • Afghanistan → Elfghanistan
  • Africa → Elfrica
  • *af* → *elf*: As in, “Elfter all,” and “Elfter my own heart,” and “Chase elfter,” and “A delfening silence,” and “Happily ever elfter,” and “Offer elffordances,” and “Selfty first,” and “Be elfraid, be very elfraid.” Other suitable words: elficionado (aficionado), elfire (afire), elfield (afield), bonelfide (bonafide), elfloat (afloat), elflame (aflame), elflutter (aflutter), lelflet (leaflet), elforementioned (aforementioned), elforesaid (aforesaid), elfoul (afoul), elfoot (afoot), elforethought (aforethought), pinelfore (pinafore), elfresh (afresh), elftermath (aftermath), elfterward (afterward), elftershave (aftershave), elfternoon (afternoon), elfterglow (afterglow), elfterthought (afterthought) and elfterlife (afterlife). Note: an aficionado is a lover of a certain activity. If something is bonafide, then it’s genuine and real.
  • *ef* → *elf*: As in, “For your benelfit” and “For future relference” and “Conditioned relflex” and “Relflect badly on” and “Delfault back on” and “Cultural artelfacts.” Other words that could work: nelfarious (nefarious), delfer (defer), benelfactor (benefactor), delfamation (defamation), delfence (defence), prelfer (prefer), delfeat (defeat), delfinition (definition), delfine (define), delfinitely (definitely), benelficial (beneficial), delfiant (defiant) and delficit (deficit). Notes: a benefactor is one that provides help or advantages.
  • *if* → *elf*: Motelfs (motifs), manelfest (manifest), beautelful (beautiful), signelficant (significant), artelfact (artifact), multelfaceted (multifaceted), specelfic (specific), sacrelfice (sacrifice), certelficate (certificate), magnelficent (magnificent), caulelflower (cauliflower), unelform (uniform), pitelful (pitiful), fancelful (fanciful), bountelful (bountiful), dutelful (dutiful), mercelful (merciful).
  • *of* → *elf*: As in, “A paid prelfessional” and “Favourite prelfessor” and “Chosen prelfession” and “Gaining prelfit (profit)” and “Prelfitable ventures” and “Camelflage pants” and “Prelfound thoughts” and “Ecelfriendly and organic” and “Elfentimes (oftentimes)” and “Bleeding prelfusely.” Note: profusely means in large amounts.
  • *elve*: Emphasize the “elve” in these words and phrases: “Smooth as velvet” and “Shelve the issue for later” and “By themselves.”
  • *alv* → *elve*: As in, “Selvege what you can” and “My selveation” and “Gelveanised into action.”
  • *ilv* → *elv*: As in, “Like quickselver” and “Every dark cloud has a selver lining” and “Sell the family selver” and “Selver tongue” and “Hide the selverware” and “A selvery shine.”
  • *olv* → *elv*: As in, “Raised by welves” and “Throw to the welves” and “Selve all your problems” and “Steely reselve” and “Evelved into a better person” and “Don’t invelve me in your problems” and “Abselved of your sins” and “Disselved relationship” and “A develving situation” and “Too invelved” and “The world doesn’t revelve around you.”
  • *ulv* → *elv*: As in, velvea (vulva) and pelverise (pulverise).
  • *av* → *elve*: As in, “An elverage result” and “Elveant-garde art” and “Causing an elvealanche” and “List your elveailability” and “Elvert your eyes” and “All about the elveacado” and “Elveoiding you” and “Selveory snacks.” Other words that could work: elveatar (avatar), elvearice (avarice), carelvean (caravan), aggrelveate (aggravate), elverse (averse), elvenue (avenue), elvenge (avenge), elve-iation (aviation), elve-ian (avian), pelvelova (pavlova), elveow (avow), endelveor (endeavour). Notes: avant-garde means “cutting edge”. Avarice is greed, in particular for wealth or gain. To be averse is to dislike something. To endeavour is to make an effort.
  • *ev* → *elve*: As in, “A late delveloper” and “Software delveloper” and “Current elvents” and “Turn of elvents” and “Positive relveiews (reviews)” and “Hide the elveidence” and “Hard elveidence” and “Annual elvealuations” and “Elveade conversation” and “Looking elveasive” and “Elveacuate the building” and “A prelvealent issue” and “Elven Steven” and “Break elven,” and “Don’t get mad, get elven,” and “An elven chance,” and “Elven handed,” and “Elven in the best of times,” and “Elvery breath you take,” and “Elvery little bit helps,” and “Elverything under the sun,” and “Elvery one and his brother,” and “Thinking of you elveryday,” and “It’ll happen elventually,” and “The elvening news,” and “Elveil (evil) twin.”
  • *iv* → *elve/elf*: As in, “Feeling mot-elve-ated (motivated)” and “A fresh perspectelf” and “Take the initiatelf” and “It is imperatelf that…” Other words that could work: ambelfalent (ambivalent), derelfative (derivative), equelvealent (equivalent) and comprehenselve (comprehensive), elveory (ivory), frelveolous (frivolous), delveorce (divore), delveulge (divulge), relveulet (rivulet). Notes: to be ambivalent is to feel different, contradictory things at once.
  • *ov* → *elve*: As in, “Elvercome with emotion” and “All elver (over) the show” and “A bridge elver troubled water” and “Get elver yourself” and “A standing elveation” and “A grave elversight (oversight)” and “The elverall scheme of things.” Other words that could work: elverlook (overlook), elversee (oversee), elverwhelm (overwhelm), elverlate (ovulate), elverride (override), elvert (overt), innelveation (innovation), pelvelova (pavlova) and supernelvea (supernova). Note: to be overt is to do something in secret or quietly.
  • *rood*→ *rudolph*: Change words that rhyme with “rude” to include “rudolph”: “Debt accrudolph” (accrued)” and “Coffee’s brudolph (brewed)” and “Crudolph (crude) oil” and “Don’t intrudolph (intrude).”
  • Red→ Red-nosed: As in, “As red-nosed as a beetroot” and “Better dead than red-nosed” and “Caught red-nosed.”
  • Nose→ Red-nose: As in, “Always have your red-nose in a book” and “Plain as the red-nose on your face” and “Blow your red-nose” and “Can’t see beyond the end of your red-nose” and “Give somebody a red-nose.”
  • Lay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh a finger on” and “Sleigh down your arms” and “Sleigh down your life” and “Sleigh eyes on” and “Sleigh down the law” and “Sleigh it on thick” and “The sleigh of the land” and “Sleigh down the groundwork.”
  • Said→ Sleigh’d: As in, “After all is sleigh’d and done” and “I couldn’t have sleigh’d it better” and “Easier sleigh’d than done” and “Enough sleigh’d” and “No sooner sleigh’d than done” and “‘Nuff sleigh’d” and “Was it something I sleigh’d?” and “That’s what you sleigh’d.”
  • Sight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “Catch sleigh’t of” and “Hidden in plain sleigh’t” and “Love at first sleigh’t” and “Not a pretty sleigh’t” and “Out of sleigh‘t” and “Set your sleigh’ts on” and “A sleigh’t for sore eyes” and “A sleigh’t to behold” and “Hindsleigh’t is 20/20″ and “Can’t stand the sleigh’t of” and “A sorry sleigh’t.”
  • Slight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “A sleigh’t oversight” and “Sleigh’tly ahead of our time” and “Not in the sleigh’test” and “A sleigh’t misunderstanding.”
  • Slate→ Sleight’: As in, “A blank sleigh’t” and “A clean sleigh’t” and “Wipe the sleigh’t clean.”
  • *sight*→ *sleight*: As in, “I value your insleight” and “An enormous oversleight” and “In hindsleight” and “An insleightful person” and “I wish I had your foresleight” and “A sleightseeing tour.”
  • *sley→ *sleigh: As in, parsleigh (parsley), paisleigh (paisley), Elvis Presleigh (Presley), and Ronald Weasleigh (Weasley).
  • Lay*→ Sleigh*: As in, “The topmost sleigher (layer)” and “Sleighout (layout) designer” and “In sleighperson’s terms.” Note: a layperson is someone with no training or qualifications in a particular subject.
  • Laid→ Sleigh’d: As in, “Get sleigh’d” and “Sleigh’d back” and “Sleigh’d bare” and “Sleigh’d to rest” and “Even the best sleigh’d plans.”
  • *say*→ *sleigh*: As in, “I have an essleigh (essay) due Monday” and “That’s hearsleigh (hearsay)” and “Don’t be a naysleigher” and “The old soothsleigher.” Notes: hearsay is a type of evidence that has a reputation for being untrustworthy or unreliable. A soothsayer is one who predicts the future.
  • *sly→ *sleigh: Use words that end in “sly” to make some corny sleigh puns: “It happened simultaneousleigh” and “Well, obviousleigh” and “You performed flawlessleigh.” Here are some other words that would work with this: surreptitiousleigh (surreptitiously), continuousleigh (continuously), vicariousleigh (vicariously), seamlessleigh (seamlessly), previousleigh (previously), thusleigh (thusly), seriousleigh (seriously), furiousleigh (furiously), carelessleigh (carelessly), shamelessleigh (shamelessly), soundlessleigh (soundlessly), maliciousleigh (maliciously), curiousleigh (curiously), ceremoniousleigh (ceremoniously), tenaciousleigh (tenaciously), frivolousleigh (frivolously), deviousleigh (deviously), fabulousleigh (fabulously), famousleigh (famously), gloriousleigh (gloriously).
  • Sleight: Emphasise the “sleigh” – “Sleigh-t of hand.”
  • Eerie→ Deerie: As in, “A deerie atmosphere.” Note: eerie means creepy.
  • Dairy→ Deery: As in, “Deery is scary.”
  • Dare→ Deer: As in, “Deer for more” and “Deer to be different” and “How deer you!” and “Deer to dream” and “Who deers wins.”
  • There*→ Deer*: Deerfore (therefore), deerby (thereby), deerof (thereof), deerafter (thereafter), deerin (therein).
  • Their→ Deer: As in, “Cut them down in deer prime” and “Swept them of deer feet” and “Everybody and deer brother” and “Put them in deer place” and “Deer bark is worse than deer bite” and “Cats always land on deer feet.”
  • Deal→ Deerl: As in, “I can’t deerl with this” and “Big deerl” and “Cut me a deerl” and “A deerl breaker” and “Deerl from the bottom of the deck” and “Deerl me in” and “Deerl or no deerl?” and “Deerl with it” and “A done deerl” and “Make a deerl with the devil” and “A raw deerl” and “Seal the deerl” and “Strike a deerl” and “Sweeten the deerl” and “The art of the deerl” and “The real deerl” and “Wheeling and deerling” and “The real deerl.” Note: to deal from the bottom of the deck is to use dishonest methods in dealing with a situation.
  • Tears→ Deers: As in, “Blood, sweat and deers,” and “Bring deers to your eyes,” and “Burst into deers,” and “Fighting back deers,” and “It will all end in deers,” and “Moved to deers,” and “No more deers.”
  • Tear*→ Deer*: deerdrop (teardrop) deerful (tearful) deery-eyed.
  • *tary→ *deery: As in, “I’m sick of propriedeery (proprietary) cables” and “Complemendeery (complementary) colours” and “You’re very complimendeery today” and “My new secredeery.” Other words that work with this format: sedendeery (sedentary), documendeery (documentary), rudimendeery (rudimentary), monedeery (monetary), solideery (solitary). Notes: if something is proprietary, then it’s used or made under exclusive legal rights of the maker. To be sedentary is to not be physically active.
  • *ter*→ *deer*: As in, “Explore new deerritory” and “Harsh deerrain” and “Deerrible traffic” and “A deerrific result.” Other words that would work: characdeer (character), madeer (matter), masdeer (master), fosdeer (foster), bedeer (better), compudeer (computer), leddeer (letter), indeerest (interest), ardeery (artery), indeerface (interface), aldeernative (alternative), baddeery (battery), indeernet (internet).
  • Rein: These rein-related phrases may serve as some terrible reindeer puns: “Hold the reins” and “Rein it in” and “Take the reins.”
  • Rain→ Rein: As in, “Right as rein” and “Chasing reinbows” and “Come rein or shine” and “Don’t rein on my parade” and “It never reins but it pours” and “Make it rein” and “Over the reinbow” and “Reindrops keep falling on my head” and “Reining in my heart” and “Reining cats and dogs” and “Singin’ in the rein” and “Spitting with rein” and “Take a reincheck” and “Taste the reinbow” and “The pot of gold at the end of the reinbow.” Note: to take a raincheck is to accept an invitation but with the stipulation that you can only attend or fulfill it at a later date.
  • *rain/ran*→ *rein*: Use words with a “rain” sound in them as a reference to reindeer: “Against the grein” and “Take the trein” and “Bucking under the strein” and “Kindly refrein from feeding the animals” and “My breinchild.” Other words that would work with this: birdbrein (birdbrain), breinchild (brainchild), breinstorm, breinwash, drein (drain), harebreined, reincoat, reindrop, reinfall, reining, reinstorm, reinwater, restrein (restrain), streinger (stranger), treinee (trainee), treiner (trainer), sprein (sprain).
  • *reign→ *rein: As in, “Soverein power.” Note: a sovereign is a monarch, or ruler.
  • *door*→ *deer*: As in, “Ring the deerbell” and “Standing in the deerframe” and “Don’t be a deermat.” Other words that would work: deerway (doorway), deerjamb (doorjamb), deerknob (doorknob), deerstep (doorstep), deerperson (doorperson), outdeer (outdoor), backdeer (backdoor), indeer (indoor), and trapdeer (trapdoor).
  • *dor*→ *deer*: As in, “Lying deermant (dormant)” and “Shared deermitories (dormitories)” and “Deersal fin” and “Street vendeer (vendor).” Other words that would work: ardeer (ardor), candeer (candor), ambassadeer (ambassador), corrideer (corridor), odeer (odour), splendeer (splendour), adeerable (adorable), endeerse (endorse), adeern (adorn). Notes: ardor is great passion or energy. Candor is honesty. To adorn is to decorate.
  • *der*→ *deer*: As in, “Be careful of deerogatory language” and “You’re acting deeranged” and “A deerisive tone.” Other words that would work: deerive (derive), deerivative, deerision (derision), deerelict, ordeer, lardeer, rendeer (render), tendeer, wondeer, disordeer, consideer, leadeer, hindeer, gendeer, engendeer, undeerstand, consideeration.
  • *dur*→ *deer*: As in, “Under deeress” and “Throughout the deeration” and “A deerable phone.” Other words that would work: deering (during), deerability (durability), deerian (durian), endeere (endure), procedeere (procedure), endeerance (endurance).
  • *dar*→ *deer*: As in, “Heart of deerkness” and “Advent calendeer” and “Under the radeer.” Other words that would work: deodeerant (deoderant), standeerd, quandeery, solideerity, mandeerin, and cedeer (cedar).
  • *dir*→ *deer*: As in, “Deerect intervention” and “Going in the wrong deerection” and “Shoot the deerector” and “Playing deerty.” Other possible words: deert (dirt), deerectory (directory), deerectly (directly) and deerective (directive).
  • Chimney: A chimney-related phrase for you to play with: “Smokes like a chimney.”
  • Jiminy→ Chimney: As in, “Chimney cricket!” Note: Jiminy cricket is both a way of swearing and a character in the Disney movie Pinocchio.
  • Wrap: Some wrap-related phrases to include in your gift puns: “It’s a wrap” and “Keep under wraps” and “A riddle wrapped up in an enigma” and “Wrap it up” and “Wrapped around your little finger” and “Wrap in cotton wool.” Some other wrap-related words: wrapped, wraparound, rewrap, unwrap and shrinkwrap.
  • Rap → Wrap: As in, “Wrap over the knuckles” and “Take the wrap.”
  • *rap* → *wrap*: As in, “A wrapid exit” and “I’m wrapped! (rapt)” and “Starting thewrapy (therapy).” Other words that could work: wrapport (rapport), wrapacious (rapacious), wrapture (rapture), wraptor (raptor) and wrapier (rapier). Note: to be rapacious is to be greedy.
  • *rep* → *wrap*: As in, “Pwrapare for the worst” and “History wrapeats itself” and “Don’t wraplace what’s not broken” and “If you don’t say it, they can’t wrapeat it” and “Those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to wrapeat them” and “Beyond wraproach.” Note: wraport (report), wraport (report), wrapudiate (repudiate), wrapublic (republic), wrapresent (represent), wrapose (repose), wraply (reply), wraprieve (reprieve), wraplete (replete), discwrapancy (discrepancy), entwrapreneur (entrepreneur), intwrapid (intrepid) and tr-wrapidation (trepidation). Notes: to repudiate is to reject or deny. Repose is pause or rest. To be replete is to be filled to bursting (especially with food).
  • *rip* → *wrap*: As in, “”Let her wrap!” and “Wrap off the bandaid” and “Wrap apart” and “Wrap to shreds” and “Come to gwraps (grips) with.” Other words that could be used: wrapple (ripple), wraposte (riposte), wraptide (riptide), strwrap (strip), outstrwrap (outstrip), scwrapped (script), descwraption (description).  Note: a riposte is a type of counterattack. Note: a riposte is a response.
  • *rop* → *wrap*: As in, “Inappwrapriate behaviour” and “Invest in prwraperty.” Other words that could work: pr-wrapagate (propagate), entwrapy (entropy), Euwrap (Europe), Euwrapean (European), pr-wrapaganda (propaganda). Note: to propagate is to produce a new plant from a parent plant. Can also be used for topics not botany-related. Entropy is the degradation of something.
  • *rup* → *wrap*: As in, “Power cowrapts (corrupts)” and “Maple sywrap (syrup)” and “Civil diswraption (disruption)” and “An abwrapt (abrupt) exit.” Other words that could work: wrapture (rupture), wrapee (rupee), wraple (ruple), chiwrap (chirrup), interwrapt (interrupt), cowraption (corruption), unscwrapulous (unscrupulous), diswraptive (disruptive), diswraptive (disruptive), scwrapulous (scrupulous). Note: to be scrupulous is to be extremely honest.
  • For → Fir: Firs are another tree that are commonly used as Christmas trees, so they’ve made the list too. As in, “Asking fir a friend” and “The most bang fir your buck” and “At a loss fir words” and “I’ve fallen fir you” and “Food fir thought” and “Fir a change” and “Fir crying out loud” and “Fir good measure” and “A sight fir sore eyes.”
  • Four → Fir: As in, “Down on all firs” and “Break the firth wall” and “A fir leaf clover” and “A fir letter word” and “Twenty fir seven.” Note: the fourth wall refers to the imaginary wall between viewers and actors during tv shows or plays.
  • Fair → Fir: As in, “All the fun of the fir” and “All’s fir in love and war” and “By fir means or foul” and “Faint heart never fir lady” and “Fir trade” and “Fir and square” and “Fir and aboveboard” and “Fir enough” and “Fir play” and “Fir game” and “Fir-haired” and “Fir is fir.”
  • *far* → *fir*: As in, “A fond firwell (farewell)” and “Firther down” and “Insofir as” and “A nefirious villain” and “Welfir reform.”
  • Crisp→ Kris: Santa Claus is also known as Kris Kringle, so we can use this name to make some silly Santa puns too. As in, “Burnt to a kris.”
  • Krispy Kreme→ Krispy Kringle
  •  Cringe→ Kringle: As in, “Kringle-inducing” and “Kringleworthy.”
  • Crinkle→ Kringle: As in, “You’ve kringled the paper” and “My dress is kringled now.”
  • *cras*→ *kris*: As in, “Krish and burn” and “A kriss (crass) statement” and “Stop prokristinating!” and “Her idiosynkrisies are part of her charm.” Note: idiosyncrasies are habitual behaviours or mannerisms that a person has.
  • Cres*→ Kris*: As in, “The family krist” and “On the krist of a wave” and “A kriscent moon” and “The scene reached a kriscendo” and “She looked kristfallen.” Note: a crescendo is a slow increase in something – music, atmosphere, emotion etc.
  • *cris*→ *kris*: As in, “A krisis situation” and “A krispy coating” and “Put it in the krisper” and “I won’t stand for such hypokrisy.”
  • *cros*→ *kris*: As in, “A storyline krissover” and “The weekly krissword” and “Animal Krissing” and “At a krissroads” and “Akristic poem” and “Under a mikriscope.” Note: an acrostic is a type of poem that focuses on the first letter of each line in the poem. Animal Crossing is an RPG game.
  • Crus*→ Kris*: As in, “Upper krist” and “Kristaceans (crustaceans) aren’t food.”
  • Ludicrous→ Ludikris: As in, “What a ludikris idea.” Note: to be ludicrous is to be foolish or unreasonable.
  • Crystal→ Kristal: As in, “As clear as kristal” and “Kristal clear.”
  • *chris/chrys*→ *kris*: As in, “A white krismas” and “Krismas is coming” and “A born-again kristian” and “Are you kristened?” and “I love krisanthemums (chysanthemums),” and “It’s about time you emerged from your krisalis (chrysalis).” Note: Chrysanthemums are a type of flower.
    • Nick: St. Nick is another name for Santa, so here are some nick-related phrases: “In good nick” and “In the nick of time.”
    • Neck→ Nick: As in, “At breaknick speed” and “Break your nick” and “Breathing down your nick” and “Nick and nick” and “A pain in the nick” and “Stick your nick out” and “This nick of the woods” and “Up to your nick in trouble” and “Win by a nick” and “By the nape of your nick.”
    • Neck*→ Nick*: As in, nicklace (necklace), nicktie, nicking (necking), nickline, bottlenick, rubbernick, breaknick and turtlenick. Notes: necking is a colloquial term for making out. Rubbernecking is the act of craning your neck to stare at something you find interesting.
    • Next→ Nicks: As in, “America’s Nicks Top Model” and “Better luck nicks time” and “Boy nicks door” and “Knock into the middle of nicks week” and “The nicks generation” and “Nicks in line to the throne” and “Nicks to nothing” and “Take it to the nicks level” and “A week from nicks Tuesday.” Note: America’s Next Top Model is a competitive reality TV show.
    • *nick*: Emphasise the “nick” in certain words to make references to St. Nick in your wordplay: nickel, nickname, Nickelodeon, snicker, finicky, knickers, and persnickety. Note: to be finicky is to be particular or fussy. Persnickety is a synonym for finicky.
    • *nock*→ *nick*: As in, “Well knick me down with a feather” and “What a knickout!”
    • knuckle→ nickle: As in, “Nickle sandwich” and “Nickle dusters” and “Nickle under” and “A white-nickle experience.” Note: a white-knuckle experience is one that was particularly stressful or frightening.
    • *nak*→ *nick*: As in, “Nicked (naked) as the day you were born” and “The nicked truth” and “Lower than a snick’s belly” and “Snick eyes.” Note: snake eyes are when two dice are rolled and both result in a one.
    • Snakes on a Plane→ St. Nicks on a Plane: Snakes on a Plane is a thriller action movie. This pun would work particularly well as a visual/comic pun.
    • Heineken→ Heinicken: Heineken is a beer.
    • *nik*→ *nick*: As in, “A new Nickon camera” and “Part of the beatnick scene” and “A new monicker” and “The artist’s manickin.” Notes: a moniker is a nickname or alias. A beatnik is a stereotype from a literary movement in the 1950s-1960s.
  • Feliz Navidad means “Merry Christmas” in Spanish, and is also the title of a Christmas song. The following section of puns are all plays on this phrase.
  • Fleece → Feliz: As in “Feliz was white as snow” and “They were feliz-ed on the black market.” Note: to be fleeced is to be tricked or cheated.
  • Flee* → Feliz*: As in, “Love is feliz-ting (fleeting)” and “Feliz (flee) the scene.”
  • Flea → Feliz: As in, “Feliz market” and “Wouldn’t hurt a feliz” and “Lie down with dogs, wake up with feliz.” The quote “if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas” is a general warning to keep an eye on the company that you keep.
  • Flies → Feliz: As in “Time feliz” and “Butterfeliz in my stomach” and “Lord of the feliz“. Other “flies” you could use: firefeliz (fireflies), dragonfeliz (dragonflies), mayfeliz (mayflies) and gadfeliz (gadflies). Note: Lord of the Flies is a famous dystopian novel.
  • Christmas tree: Make some extremely obvious Christmas tree puns by taking advantage of phrases that they’re already in – as in, “Done up like a Christmas tree” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
  • Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree” and “Good things come in trees” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men” and “Tree’s a charm.”
  • Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom” and “As tree as a bird” and “Breathe treely” and “Buy one, get one tree” and “Tree for all” and “Treedom of the press” and “Get out of jail tree” and “The best things in life are tree” and “Land of the tree” and “Leader of the tree world” and “The truth will set you tree” and “No such thing as a tree lunch” and “When hell treezes over” and “Think treely.”
  • *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem” and “Full of nutree-ents” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps” and “No streengs attached” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle” and “A treevial problem” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
  • *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables” and “Complimentree meals” and “These colours are complementree” and “Leave it with my secretree” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch” and “It’s rudimentree addition” and “But what’s the monetree value” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
  • *try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again” and “A secret treest (tryst)” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree” and “Bigotree is still rampant” and “Entree level” and “A paltree sum” and “Geometree is everywhere” and “Chemistree lab” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
  • *ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree” and “Structural integritree” and “The citree that never sleeps” and “First-class facilitrees” and “My dutrees come first” and “Beautree isn’t everything” and “A single entitree” and “Maximum securitree.”
  • Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees” and “Christmas tree hugger” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
    • Pine: Pines are a common type of tree used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “Pining away.”
    • Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine” and “Doubled up in pine” and “Drown the pine” and “Feeling no pine” and “Growing pines” and “No pine, no gain” and “On pine of death” and “Pine in the butt” and “Pine in the neck” and “Pinefully slow” and “A royal pine.”
    • Pain* → Pine*: As in, “A picture pinet-s a thousand words” and “Pine-t with a broad brush” and “Pine-t the town red.” Note: to paint with a broad brush is to describe a group of things in general terms.
    • Fine → Pine: As in, “A pine line” and “Cut it pine” and Damn pine coffee” and “Pine and dandy” and “Another pine mess you’ve gotten me into” and “I feel pine” and “Not to put too pine a point on it” and “One pine day” and “Treading a pine line” and “Got it down to a pine art” and “The devil is in the pine print” and “Go through it with a pine-toothed comb.”
    • *pan* → *pine*: As in, “Three’s compiney” and “Wild discrepinecys” and “Judging pinel” and “Expineding our business” and “Run rampinet.” Note: a discrepancy is a difference between two things that should be equal.
    • *pen* → *pine*: As in, pinechant (penchant), pineguin (penguin), pinesieve (pensive), pineding (pending), pinenis (penis), pineinsula (peninsula), pinetrate (penetrate), pineance (penance), opine (open), pine (pen), happine (happen), dampine (dampen), deepine (deepen), sharpine (sharpen), ripine (ripen), propinesity (propensity), indispinesable (indispensable), appinedix (appendix), depinedent (dependent). Notes: a penchant is a fondness for something. To be pensive is to be thoughtful. A propensity is a habit for behaving in a particular way.
    • *pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pinek (pink)” and “The pineacle of health” and “In a pinech” and “Can you pinepoint the location?” and “A pine-t of ice-cream” and “Take him out for a spine (spin)” and “I didn’t ask for your opineon” and “The pursuit of happine-ness.”
    • *pon* → *pine*: As in, “A one trick pineny” and “Time to pineder (ponder)” and “Choose your weapine” and “Discount coupine,” and “Once upine a time,” and “I’m waiting for your respinese,” and “A correspinedence course,” and “With great power comes great respinesibility,” and “Spinetaneous combustion.” Notes: a one trick pony is someone who is skilled in only one area.
    • *pun* → *pine*: As in, “Sucker pinech” and “Be pinectual for the exam” and “A pinegent smell.”
    • *ine* → *pine*: As in, pine-evitable (inevitable), pinertia (inertia), pinexorable (inexorable), pineffable (ineffable), pinept (inept), pinert (inert), pinexplicable (inexplicable), pinevitably (inevitably). Notes: if something is ineffable, then it causes an indescribable amount of emotion.
  • Shoot→ Soot: As in, “Don’t soot the messenger” and “Drive-by sooting” and “Eats, soots and leaves” and “The green soots of recovery” and “Just soot me” and “A sharp sooter” and “Sooting blanks” and “Soot down in flames” and “Sooting from the hip” and “Soot hoops” and “Soot the breeze” and “Soot your mouth off” and “Soot yourself in the foot” and “Soot for the sky” and “Soot [one] a dirty look.”
  • Chute→ Soot: As in, “A golden parasoot,” and “Straight out of the soot.”
  • *suit*→ *soot*: As in, “A sootable choice” and “A new sootor” and “Pack your sootcase!” Other words that will work: sooted (suited), sootability (suitability), sootably (suitably), pursoot (pursuit), lawsoot (lawsuit), wetsoot (wetsuit), jumpsoot (jumpsuit), swimsoot (swimsuit), tracksoot (tracksuit).
    • This next section is dedicated to puns specific to cards (in the sense of Christmas cards and greeting cards).
    • Card → Christmas Card: Make some Christmas puns by relating your wordplay to Christmas/greeting cards: “A few Christmas cards short of a full deck” and “Christmas Card up your sleeve” and “Deck of Christmas cards” and “Hold all the Christmas cards” and “Holding your Christmas cards close to your chest” and “House of Christmas cards” and “Lay your Christmas cards on the table” and “On the Christmas cards” and “Pick a Christmas card, any Christmas card” and “Play your Christmas cards right.”
    • Kardashian → Cardashian: a little play on giftcards/message cards that accompany gifts and Kim Kardashian.
    • Card*: Some card-related/inclusive words: cardinal, cardboard, cardio, cardigan, cardiac, discard, placard, wildcard, timecard, postcard and scorecard.
    • Cared → Card: As in, “I card about you,” and “Run s-card,” and “S-card poopless,” and “S-card to death.”
    • *car* → *card*: As in, “Courtesy and card (care)” and “Drive my card” and “Upset the apple card (apple cart)” and “Couldn’t card less.” Other words that could work: cardeer (career), cardier (carrier), cardiage (carriage), cardavan (caravan), scard (scar), Madagascard (Madagascar), railcard (railcar), handcard (handcar), precardious (precarious), vicardious (vicarious).
    • Cartier → Cardier
    • *cord* → *card*: As in, “A broken recard and “Cut the card” and “For the recard” and “In recard time” and “Off the recard” and “Accarding to…” and “Remain cardial.” Other words that could work: cardially (cordially), carduroy (corduroy), cardon (cordon), discard (discord), accardance (accordance). Notes: to do something cordially is to do it in a friendly way. A cordon is a rope used to define boundaries.
    • *curd* → *card*: As in, card (curd), cardle (curdle) and bloodcardling (bloodcurdling).
    • Drunkard → Druncard
    • *cured* → *card*: As in, “What can’t be card (cured) must be endured” and “Her face was obscard (obscured)” and “Perimeter secard (secured)” and “Procard (procured) the goods” and “Manicard (manicured) lawns.”
    • Certain → Cardtain: As in, “In no uncardtain terms” and “Know for cardtain.”
    • *cor* → *card*: As in, “Cardespondence course” and “Cut the card (cord)” and “In your cardner (corner)” and “The final scard (score)” and “For the recard.” Other words that could work in the right context: cardporation (corporation), cardoborate (corroborate), cardelation (correlation), decard (decor), rancard (rancor), accard (accord), incardporate (incorporate). Note: to corroborate is to add proof to an account. Rancor is a bitter, deeply-ingrained ill-feeling.
    • *cur* → *card*: As in, “The final cardtain (curtain)” and “A cardsory (cursory) glance” and “I concard (concur)” and “That never occard (occured) to me.” Other words that could work: cardmudgeon (curmudgeon), incard (incur), recard (recur), obscard (obscured), secardity (security), cardate (curate), cardiculum (curriculum) and manicard (manicured).
    • *cored → *card: As in, scard (scored), encard (encored) and underscard (underscored).
    • *cred* → *card*: As in, “Street card” and “Take cardit for” and “Nothing is sacard” and “Not cardible (credible)” and “Ruined cardibility.” Other words that could work: cardentials (credentials), cardence (credence), massacard (massacred), incardulous (incredulous). Notes: credence is a mental acceptance of something as being true or real. Being incredulous is not wanting to believe something.
    • Mr. Incredible → Mr. Incardible
  • *angle*→ *angel*:
  • Since angels are commonly placed at the top of Christmas trees, we’ve included them in this list. As in, “What are you angeling for?” and “Love triangel” and “A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangeled” and “It takes two to tangel” and “What a tangeled web.”
  • Star: Since stars are commonly used to decorate the tops of Christmas trees, we’ve included phrases for them in this list. As in, “A star is born” and “Born under a lucky star” and “Catch a falling star” and “Get a gold star” and “Guiding star” and “Written in the stars” and “Reach for the stars” and “A rising star” and “Star wars” and “Star crossed lovers” and “Star quality” and “Starstruck” and “Stars in your eyes” and “When you wish upon a star” and “My lucky star” and “Seeing stars.”
  • *star*: As in, “Can we start?” and “In stark relief” and “A new tech startup” and “Stop staring” and “I didn’t mean to startle you” and “This pasta is very starchy” and “A starter kit” and “You bastard!” and “Doesn’t cut the mustard.” Notes: if something doesn’t cut the mustard, then it isn’t good enough. If something is in stark relief, then it’s been made very obvious.
  • *ster* → *star*: As in, “A starn attitude” and “This area is starile” and “Turn up the stareo” and “Staroids are illegal in sports” and “Aim for the starnum” and “You monstar” and “Addiction is a cruel mastar” and “Fostar kids” and “Am I on the registar?” and “A bolstaring attitude” and “A sinistar presence” and “Mustar the courage” and “Work rostar” and “A cocky roostar” and “It’s unhealthy to judge people based on stareotypes.” Note: to bolster is to support or strengthen something.
  • Stir → Star: As in, “Cause a star” and “Shaken, not starred” and “Star the pot” and “Star up trouble” and “Star-crazy.”
  • Stir* → Star*: Starrup (stirrup) and starring (stirring).
  • *stor* → *star*: As in, “I need to go to the stare (store)” and “My favourite stary” and “A starm brewing” and “Put in starage” and “A two-starey house” and “A convoluted staryline” and “We don’t have to live like our ancestars” and “Impostar syndrome” and “Seed investars” and “Histarical fiction” and “You’re distarting the truth.”
  • Sturdy → Stardy: As in, “A stardy table.”
  • Babble → Bauble: As in, “Baubling on and on.”
  • Bobble → Bauble: As in, “Bauble heads” and “Bauble hat.”
  • Bubble → Bauble: “Bauble and squeak” and “Bauble up” and “Burst your bauble” and “Bauble over” and “Thought bauble.”
  • Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light” and “Bring something to fairy light” and “The cold fairy light of day” and “First fairy light” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low” and “Give it the green fairy light” and “Go out like a fairy light” and “My guiding fairy light” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
  • Tonsil* → Tinsel*: As in, “Tinsel tennis” and “Tinsellitus.” Note: tonsil tennis is a colloquial term of French kissing.
  • Candy → Candy cane: As in, “Easy as taking a candy cane from a baby.”
    • Sack: Change up your Santa puns with these sack-related phrases (referring to the sack Santa carries): “Get the sack” and “Hit the sack” and “A sad sack.”
    • Sock → Sack: As in, “Knock their sacks off” and “Pull your sacks up” and “Put a sack in it” and “Sack it to me!”
    • Sick→ Sack: As in, “Sack as a dog” and “Enough to make you sack” and “One sack puppy” and “In sackness and in health” and “Morning sackness” and “Off sack” and “On the sack list” and “Phone in sack” and “Pull a sackie” and “Sack and tired” and “Sack to death of” and “Sack to the stomach” and “Worried sack.”
    • Shock→ Sack: As in, “Electric sack” and “Culture sack” and “In for a sack” and “Shell-sacked” and “Sack and awe” and “Sack horror” and “A short, sharp sack.” Some other “shock” words: sacked (shocked), aftersack (aftershock), sackwave (shockwave), sacker (shocker).
    • Shake→ Sack: As in, “Bone-sacking” and “A fair sack” and “Sacking my head” and “In two sacks of a lamb’s tail” and “More than you can sack a stick at” and “Sack a leg” and “Sack like a leaf” and “Movers and sackers.”
    • Sec*→ Sack*: As in,”Our best-kept sackret” and “Having sackond thoughts” and “Just a sackond” and “Play sackond fiddle” and “A sackond childhood” and “Sackond nature” and “Two-sackond rule” and “In the wrong sacktion.” Some other sec* words: sackular (secular), sackurity (security), sackure (secure), sackretary (secretary), consackutive (consecutive), sacktor (sector).
    • *sic*→ *sack*: As in, “Blow this popsackle stand” and “Face the musack” and “Make beautiful musack together” and “Physackal (physical) education” and “Back to basacks.” Some other *sic* words: sackle (sickle), sackly (sickly), sackening (sickening), intrinsack (intrinsic), classack (classic), forensack (forensic), physacks (physics), extrinsack (extrinsic), and whimsackal (whimsical).
    • Suc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sack it up” and “Sack it in” and “Sacker punch” and “Be careful who you step on while climbing the ladder of sackcess” and “If at first you don’t sackceed, the hell with it.” Other suc* words: Sackcint (succinct), sackcumb (succumb), sackcessful (successful), and sackcession (succession).
    • *sack*: Other sack-related words for you to play with: ransack, rucksack, hoversack and knapsack.
    • *sac*→ *sack*: As in, “A massive sackrifice” and “Sackrilege!” and “A committee is a cul-de-sack where ideas go quietly to die” and “A completed transacktion” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massackre.”
    • *shack*→ *sack*: As in, “In sackles” and “A ramsackle apartment.” Note: if something is ramshackle, then it looks so carelessly put together that it seems on the verge of collapse.
    • Shakespeare→ Sackspeare
  • Coal: It’s traditional for Santa to leave coal for naughty children, so we’ve included coal-related phrases here: “Black as coal” and “Rake over the coals” and “Like a cat on hot coals.”
  • Goal→ Coal: As in, “A coal in mind” and “Moving the coalposts” and “Score a coal.”
  • Cold→ Coal’d: As in, “Coal’d as blue blazes” and “Coal’d as ice” and “Hot and coal’d” and “Break out in a coal’d sweat” and “Catch a coal’d” and “Catch your death of coal’d” and “A coal’d heart” and “Coal’d calling” and “Coal’d comfort” and “A coal’d day in hell” and “Coal’d feet” and “Coal’d light of day” and “The coal’d shoulder” and “Come in from the coal’d” and “Coal’d, hard cash” and “In coal’d blood” and “A coal’d and frosty morning” and “Left out in the coal’d” and “Out coal’d” and “Revenge is a dish best served coal’d” and “Stone coal’d sober” and “Take a coal’d, hard look.”
  • Cool→ Coal: As in, “Coal as a cucumber” and “Coal beans” and “A coal million” and “Coal off” and “Coal your heels” and “Coal, calm and collected” and “Keep your coal” and “Play it coal” and “A coaling-off period.”
  • Crawl→ Coal: As in, “Coal back into your shell” and “Coal out of the woodwork” and “Don’t try to walk before you can coal” and “Makes my skin coal.”
  • *col* → *coal*: As in, “Coalour (colour) coded” and “A work coalleague” and “In from the coald” and “A stamp coallection” Other words that work with this: coallusion (collusion), coallateral (collateral), coallege (college), coalon (colon), coallaborate (collaborate), coalumn (column), protocoal (protocol), semicoalon (semicolon), chocoalate (chocolate), coallar (collar), coalogne (cologne), Coalumbia (Columbia), coallapse (collapse), coallagen (collagen), scoald (scold).
  • *gol*→ *coal*: As in, “Good as coald (gold)” and “You’re coalden (golden)” and “Do you play coalf (golf)?” Other words that work with this: coalem (golem), coaliath (goliath), coaldilocks (goldilocks), coally (golly), and maricoald (marigold).
  • *cole*→ *coal*: As in: coalslaw (coleslaw) and narcoalepsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a sleeping disorder.
  • Cul*→ Coal*: As in, “Third coalture kid” and “This is not a coalt (cult)” and “Buddhism is about coaltivating kindness.” Other words that work with this format: coalprit (culprit), coall (cull), coalinary (culinary), coalpable (culpable), and coalminate (culminate).
  • Stock→ Stocking: As in, “In stocking” and “Out of stocking” and “Take stocking.”
  • Stick→ Stocking: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but you can make it work: “A stocking to beat you with” and “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stocking” and “Got hold of the wrong end of the stocking” and “More than you can shake a stocking at” and “Short end of the stocking” and “Stocking point.” Note: a sticking point is a point in a discussion where it is difficult to reach an agreement.
  • With* → Wreath*: As in, “Beside myself wreath joy” and “Go along wreath” and “Wreathin (within) reason” and “A force to be reckoned wreath” and “Be wreathout (without)” and “Wreathdraw from the competition.” Other words you could use: wreather (wither), wreathdrawn (withdrawn), wreathstand (withstand), wreathered (withered).
  • Re-th* → Wreath*: As in, “Wreath-inking (re-thinking) your decision.”
  • Everything → Everwreathing: As in, “A short history of nearly everwreathing and “A place for everwreathing and everwreathing in its place” and “Challenge everwreathing” and “Don’t believe everwreathing you hear” and “Everwreathing I do, I do it for you” and “Everwreathing must go” and “Everwreathing under the sun” and “Timing is everwreathing.”
  • Wrath → Wreath: As in, “Face my wreath!” and “A wreathful person” and “The Grapes of Wreath.” Note: The Grapes of Wrath is a classic novel by John Steinbeck.
  • Writhe → Wreath: As in, “Wreathing in discomfort.” Note: to writhe is to wriggle or contort one’s body.
  • Toe → Mistletoe: As in, “From top to mistletoe” and “Get your mistletoe in the door.”
  • Holy → Holly: As in, “Holly moly” and “Holly moses” and “Holly cow Batman” and “Holly mackerel!”
  • Hole → Holly: As in, “Ace in the holly” and “Full of hollys” and “Fire in the holly!” and “A holly in one.”
  • Wholly → Holly: As in, “Holly responsible for…”
  • *hall* → *holly*: As in, “Down the hollyway (hallway)” and “Sing hollylujah” and “Having hollycinations (hallucinations).” Other words you could use: hollycinate (hallucinate), marsholly (marshall) and danceholly (dancehall).
  • *hill* → *holly*: As in, “Go downholly” and “Head for the hollys” and “It’s all downholly from here” and “Make a mountain out of a moleholly” and “Hollyry (Hillary).”
  • Hullabaloo → Hollybaloo: A hullabaloo is chaos or uproar.
  • Hali* → Holly*: As in, hollytosis (halitosis) and hollybut (halibut). Notes: halitosis bad breath. Halibut is a type of fish.
  • *heli → *holly: As in, “Hollycopter parent” and “Double hollyx (helix)” and “Hollyum (helium) balloon.” Note: a helicopter parent is one who constantly hovers over their children.
  • *hil* → *holly*: As in, “Hollyrious (hilarious) joke” and “With hollyrity (hilarity)” and “Eating healtholly” and “Moving stealtholly.” Other suitable words: filtholly (filthily) and lengtholly (lengthily).
  • *hol* → *holly*: As in, “A much-needed hollyday (holiday)” and “Holly (holy) water” and “Blood alcoholly limit” and “Mentholly (menthol) flavoured.” Other words that could work: hollyness (holiness), hollyest (holiest), patcholly (patchouli) and melancholly (melancholy).
  • Andy Warhol → Andy Warholly: Andy Warhol was a famous American artist. This could work with a pop art greeting card, or if one were giving an art-related gift.
  • *hole → *holly: keyholly (keyhole), loopholly (loophole), peepholly (peephole), potholly (pothole) and sinkholly (sinkhole).
  • Nobody→ Snowbody: As in, “Dance like snowbody’s watching” and “Like snowbody’s business” and “Snowbody does it better” and “Snowbody’s perfect.”
  • No→ Snow: As in, “All bark and snow bite” and “All dressed up and snowhere to go” and “In snow time” and “In snow uncertain terms” and “Snow buts” and “Snow holds barred” and “Snow love lost” and “Snow matter how you slice it” and “Snow prizes for guessing” and “Snow two ways about it.”
  • So→ Snow: As in, “Snow on and snow forth” and “And snow on” and “Snow?” and “You think you’re snow clever” and “I wouldn’t go snow far as..” and “How snow?” and “If I do say snow myself” and “Not snow fast!” and “Snow be it” and “Snow far, snow good” and “Snow long as” and “Snow there” and “Why is it snow quiet?” and “You little snow-and-snow.”
  • Know*→ Snow*: As in, “A little snowledge is a dangerous thing” and “A person is snown (known) by the company they keep” and “Don’t I snow it” and “Be the first to snow” and “Better the devil you snow” and “Do you want to snow?” and “Everybody snows” and “For all I snow” and “It’s general snowledge” and “Goodness snows” and “I should have snown better” and “You don’t snow anything” and “It takes one to snow one” and “Snow all the answers” and “Snow by heart” and “I snow for a fact” and “You snow full well” and “Snowledge is power” and “A snowledgeable person.”
  • Show→ Snow: As in, “All over the snow” and “Best in snow” and “Enjoy the snow” and “Get this snow on the road” and “A one-man snow” and “Snow and tell” and “Snow me the money” and “Snow pony” and “Snow some appreciation” and “I’m snowing you the door” and “Snow up” and “Snow your true colours” and “Steal the snow” and “Stop the snow” and “The greatest snow on Earth” and “The snow must go on” and “There’s no business like snow business” and “The only snow in town.”
  • *show*→ *snow*: As in, snowcase (showcase), snowdown, snowboat (showboat), snowroom, slidesnow, and peepsnow.
  • Slow→ Snow: As in, “Snow as molasses in January” and “Can’t snow down” and “Painfully snowly” and “A snow burn” and “Snow, but sure” and “In snow motion” and “Snow on the uptake” and “A snow news day.” Note: if something is slow as molasses in January, then it’s extremely slow.
  • Stow→ Snow: As in, “A hidden snowaway.”
  • No*→ Snow*: As in, “Make a snowte (note)” and “Going snowhere fast” and “Snowbody knows” and “Did you snowtice?” and “What a snowvel (novel) idea” and “On the snowse (nose)” and “Snowble intentions” and “Snowcturnal (nocturnal) sleeping habits.”
  • Now→ Snow: This one is a bit tricky as “snow” and “now” have different pronunciations, but it definitely works visually and is easy to figure out. As in, “And snow for something completely different” and “Can you hear me snow?” and “I can see clearly snow” and “I’ll be leaving you snow” and “It’s all coming back to me snow” and “It’s snow or never” and “I need you snow” and “Snow and again” and “Snow is the winter of our discontent!” and “Snow you’re talking.” Note: “Now is the winter of our discontent” is a quote from Shakespeare.
  • Snow: Use snow-related phrases as terrible snowman puns in the right context: “Pure as the driven snow” and “White as snow” and “Let it snow” and “Snow job” and “A snowball in hell’s chance” and “Snowed under.”
  • Ball→ Snowball: As in, “Break your snowballs” and “Snowballs to the wall” and “Bust your snowballs” and “A different snowball game” and “Dropped the snowball” and “Get the snowball rolling” and “Got you by the snowballs” and “Have a snowball” and “The snowball is in your court.”
  • Man→ Snowman: As in, “A snowman for all seasons” and “A dog is a snowman’s best friend” and “A drowning snowman will clutch at a straw” and “A good snowman is hard to find” and “A snowman after my own heart” and “A snowman among men” and “A snowman’s got to do what a snowman’s got to do” and “I’m not half the snowman I used to be.”
  • Careful → Carolful: As in, “Be carolful how you use it” and “Be carolful what you wish for” and “Let’s be carolful out there” and “You can’t be too carolful” and “Pick your battles carolfully” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a carolfully thought out bad decision.”
  • Carried → Caroled: As in, “Don’t get caroled away.”
  • Scare* → S-carol*: As in, “Running s-caroled” and “S-carol the living daylights out of” and “S-caroled out of your wits” and “S-caroledy cat.”
  • Madagascar → Madagascarol:
  • Circul* → Cir-carol*: As in, “In cir-carolation (circulation)” and “Cir-carolar (circular) reasoning” and “Cir-carolate the news.”
  • Cerulean → Carolean: As in, “Carolean sky” and “Carolean blue eyes.”
  • *paral* → *carol*: As in, “Carolysed (paralysed) with fear” and “Uncarolleled (unparalleled) skill.”
  • *kerel → *carol: As in, macarol (mackerel) and cocarol (cockerel).
    • List: We’ve provided some list-related phrases so you can reference Santa’s naughty/nice list in your Santa puns: “Black list” and “Hit list” and “I’ve got a little list” and “Laundry list” and “Make a list; check it twice” and “Short list” and “Bucket list.” Some other list-related words: listing, listen, listless, populist, enlist, evangelist, journalist, specialist, checklist, stylist, holistic, blister and ballistic.
    • Last→ List: As in, “At long list” and “At the list minute” and “Breathe one’s list” and “Famous list words” and “First impressions list” and “Do you have any list requests?” and “You haven’t heard the list of me!” and “The list bow” and “List but not least” and “List call” and “List chance” and “List ditch effort” and “List gasp” and “List in, first out” and “The list laugh” and “At the list minute” and “List resort” and “List rites” and “The list straw” and “The list taste of freedom” and “List will and testament” and “A listing impression” and “On their list legs” and “Save the list dance for me” and “List I heard” and “Every list one of us” and “Fall at the list hurdle” and “First and list” and “Get in the list word” and “The list thing I want.”
    • Lost→ List: As in, “All is not list” and “Get list” and “Better to have loved and list than never to have loved at all” and “Long list” and “List in translation” and “List and found” and “A list cause” and “List soul” and “List the plot” and “List your marbles” and “Make up for list time” and “Missing, presumed list” and “No love list.”
    • *last*→ *list*: As in, “A listing impression” and “And listly…” and “A list-ditch effort.” Other words that would work with this format: listed (lasted), list-minute (last-minute), blist (blast), blister (blaster), plister (plaster), plistic (plastic), elistic (elastic), everlisting (everlasting), scholistic (scholastic).
    • *lest→ *list: As in, “Live life to the fullist” and “The coolist friend” and “The simplist solution.” Other words that would work with this format: tallist (tallest), smallist (smallest), cruellist (cruellest), shrillist (shrillest).
    • *lust*→ *list*: As in, “A shining listre (lustre)” and “Listrous, shining hair” and “Listful (lustful) glances.” Other words that would work with this format: wanderlist (wanderlust), bloodlist (bloodlust), clister (cluster), illistrate (illustrate), blister (bluster), flistered (flustered), illistration (illustration).
    • *lis→ *list: As in, metropolist, trellist, chrysalist, borealist, and blisst. Notes: a trellis is an architectural structure. A borealis is a natural astronomical light display.
    • *lyst→ *list: As in, “A catalist (catalyst) for change” and “Systems analist (analyst).”
    • Lest→ List: As in, “Judge not, list you be judged” and “List we forget.”
  • Nice→ Ice: As in, “Have an ice day” and “Make ice” and “Ice and easy” and “Did you have an ice time?” and “Ice save” and “Ice try” and “Ice work if you can get it” and “No more Mr. Ice Guy” and “Wouldn’t it be ice?” and “Couldn’t happen to an icer..” Note: to make nice is to be pleasant to someone you dislike or have issues with.
  • Eyes→ Ice: As in, “Avert your ice” and “Bat your ice” and “Bedroom ice” and “Before your very ice” and “Bright ice” and “Brings tears to my ice” and “Cried my ice out” and “Do my ice deceive me?” and “Easy on the ice” and “Ice in the back of your head” and “Ice like saucers” and “Feast your ice on this!” and “I can’t take my ice off you” and “In the ice of the law” and “Keep your ice on the prize” and “Keep your ice peeled.”
  • Ice: These ice-related phrases could serve as some bad snowman puns in the right context: “Cold as ice” and “Break the ice” and “Ice up” and “Ice, ice baby” and “On ice” and “Skating on thin ice” and “Tip of the iceberg.” Some ice-related words that could also work: iceberg, ice-cream and icebreaker.
  • *ice: Emphasise the “ice” in certain words: “Thank you for your service” and “Needs practice” and “Pride and Prejudice” and “Running for office” and “I need your advice” and “Where is the justice?” and “Left to your own devices” and “Not that you’d notice.” Note: Pride and Prejudice is a classic romance novel.
  • Eyes*→ Ice*: As in, “You’re an ice-sore” and “Poor icesight” and “Sultry iceshadow.”
  • *is*→ *ice*: As in, “A thorough analysice” and “A groundbreaking hypothesice” and “Arch nemesice (nemesis)” and “What’s the basice for your belief?” and “All down to logicestics” and “Sophicestication at its finest” and “You never told me otherwice.”
  • *ise→ *ice: As in, “Should any problems arice” and “An exciting premice” and “Adviceory board” and “No promices” and “Exercice your discretion” and “An enterprice-ing individual” and “I require your expertice.”
  • *ize→ *ice: A quick note that these words would have originally been spelled with “ize” using American spelling, and would have been spelled with “ise” using the British/Australian system: “I didn’t realice” and “Do you recognice me?” and “I apologice” and “Don’t patronice me” and “One sice fits all” and “Eyes on the price” and “Galvaniced into action.” Note: to galvanise is to shock or stimulate into action.
  • I see→ Icy: As in, “I call ’em as icy ’em” and “Icy what you did there.”
  • *icy*: Emphasise the “icy” in some words to make some punny snowman jokes: “Open-door policy” and “Honesty is the best policy” and “Not too spicy” and “Like a fish needs a bicycle.”
  • Let→ Letter: Pay homage to the letter-writing tradition with these letter-related puns, as in: “Don’t letter the sun go down on me” and “Don’t letter the bastards grind you down” and “Friends don’t letter friends drive drunk” and “He wouldn’t just letter it lie” and “How do I love thee? Letter me count the ways” and “I won’t letter you down” and “Letter it be” and “Letter it bleed” and “Letter alone” and “Letter bygones be bygones” and “Letter it all hang out” and “Letter it slip through your fingers” and “Letter me be brief” and “Letter nature take its course” and “Letter off some steam” and “Letter me make one thing clear” and “Letter off the hook” and “Letter something slip” and “Letter them eat cake” and “Letter there be light” and “Letter your conscience be your guide” and “Letter your hair down” and “Letter’s call the whole thing off” and “Letter’s do lunch” and “Letter’s face it” and “Letter them down gently.”
  • Let her→ Letter: As in, “Letter rip!” and “Letter down gently” and “Letter have a look.”
  • *letter*: Letterhead, lettering, letterpress, letterbox, newsletter.
  • *latter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t fletter yourself” and “It dropped with a cletter” and “Bring a pletter.” Other words that work: spletter (splatter), slettern (slattern), flettery (flattery).
  • *litter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t be a letterbug” and “Stop lettering” and “Dusted in gletter (glitter).”
  • *lat*→ *letter*: As in, letteral (lateral), articuletter (articulate), confletter (conflate), emuletter (emulate), colletteral (collateral).
  • *lit*→ *letter*: As in, “It’s in the letterature (literature)” and “I meant that letterally” and “That’s very letteral” and “The lettergation (litigation) process.” Note: litigation is a legal process.
  • Letter: These letter-related phrases could substitute as puns in the right context: “Chain letter” and “Four letter word” and “Letter bomb” and “Letter for letter” and “Letter perfect” and “To the letter.” Note: if something is to the letter, then it’s exactly as it’s been outlined, with great attention to detail.
  • Later→ Letter: As in, “Buy now, pay letter” and “Catch you letter” and “It’s letter than you think” and “See you letter alligator” and “Smell ya letter” and “Sooner or letter” and “Can we continue this letter?” and “I’ll call back letter” and “Perhaps letter” and “Ask questions letter.”
  • List→ Wishlist: As in, “I’ve got a little wishlist” and “Laundry wishlist” and “Make a wishlist, check it twice.”
    • Getting → Greeting: These puns are intended to reference greeting cards, or season’s greetings: “Greeting on in years” and “Greeting there is half the fun” and “Greeting things done” and “We’re greeting there.”
    • Grating → Greeting: As in, “Greeting on my nerves.”
    • Naughty: We can reference Santa’s naughty or nice list with these naughty-related phrases: “The naughty corner” and “Naughty but nice.”
    • Nutty→ Naughty: As in, “A sweet, naughty flavour.”
    • Nautical→ Naughty-cal: As in, “A naughty-cal mile” and “Naughty-cal life.”
    • Nought→ Naughty: As in, “Naughty and crosses” and “It’s all come to naughty.”
    • *nut→ *naughty: As in, chestnaughty (chestnut), walnaughty (walnut), doughnaughty (doughnut – could also be donaughty), peanaughty (peanut), coconaughty (coconut), butternaughty (butternut), hazelnaughty (hazelnut).
    • *naut→ *naughty: As in, astronaughty (astronaut), aeronaughty (aeronaut), cybernaughty (cybernaut), juggernaughty (juggernaut).
    • Nice: Make references to Santa’s naughty or nice list with these nice-related phrases: “Have a nice day” and “Make nice” and “Naughty but nice” and “Nice and easy does it” and “A nice place to visit” and “Nice save” and “Nice try” and “Nice work if you can get it” and “Nicely put” and “No more mister nice guy” and “The key to a nice, relaxed evening” and “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and “Couldn’t happen to a nicer..” Notes: to make nice is to behave nicely to someone in an insincere manner.
    • *nis*→ *nice*: Anything with the “nice” sound or that can rhyme with nice can be changed to include the word nice: adminice-ter (administer), agnice-tic (agnostic), banniceter (bannister), botanicet (botanist), businice (business), cynicecism (cynicism), ethniceity (ethnicity), hedonicetic (hedonistic), hygienicet (hygienist), impressionicet (impressionist), happinice (happiness), uniceson (unison).
    • Could→ Good: We can also reference the naughty/nice idea by changing these phrases to include the word “good”, as in: “As fast as his legs good carry him” and “I goodn’t care less” and “I good do it in my sleep” and “I good see you a mile away” and “If looks good kill” and “Good have heard a pin drop” and “Good have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Bad→ Bed: Make more references to Santa’s naughty/nice list with these bad-related phrases: As in, “Bad and breakfast” and “A bad of nails” and “Between you, me and the badpost” and “Early to bad and early to rise” and “Get into bad with” and “Get out of the wrong side of the bad” and “Go to bad with” and “Don’t let the bad bugs bite.” Note: if something is between you, someone else, and the bedpost, then it’s a secret.
    • *bed*→ *bad*: As in, “It’s badlam (bedlam) in here!” and “Strange badfellows (bedfellows)” and “Tears before badtime” and “On your deathbad” and “Trust is the badrock of a good relationship” and “Change the badding (bedding)” and “Why do you look so badraggled (bedraggled)?” and “Meet you in the badroom” and “A hotbad (hotbed) for criminal activity” and “When laws are unjust, civil disobadience is necessary.” Notes: bedlam is a general confusion or chaos. Strange bedfellows are people who are brought together who have little in common. If something is bedraggled, then it looks ruined and dirty.
    • *bad*: Emphasize the “bad” in certain words: badger, badass, badge, badly and badminton.
    • *bid*→ *bad*: As in, “Forbadden fruit” and “Morbad interests” and “To the highest badder.”
    • *bod*→ *bad*: As in, “Anybady who is anybady” and “Bady blow” and “Everybady and their cousin” and “Over my dead bady” and “Spoil somebady rotten” and “They embady the true nature of forgiveness” and “A feeling of forebading” and “The embadiment of kindness.” Note: to embody something is to make it concrete and real.
    • *bud*→ *bad*: As in, “Study baddy” and “Champagne taste on a beer badget” and “Within badget” and “Study Baddhism” and “Badgie smuggler” and “Gather rosebads” and “A treat for your tastebads” and “Contact the ombadsman” and “They wouldn’t badge (budge).” Notes: a budgie smuggler is Australian slang for a type of tight-fitting Speedo. An ombudsman is a public official whose role is to represent and protect public interests.
  • *dually → *jolly: Since Santa is known for being jolly, we’ve got some puns and phrases related to “jolly” for you: indivijolly (individually), resijolly (residually) and grajolly (gradually).
  • *dially → *jolly: As in, cordjolly (cordially), remedjolly (remedially) and primordjolly (primordially). Note: if something is primordial, then it’s existed since the beginning of time.
  • Jelly* → Jolly*: As in, “Peanut butter and jolly sandwich,” and “Jollyfish.”
  • Juli* → Jolly*: As in, Jolly-an (Julian), Jolly-et (Juliet) and Jolly-us (Julius).
  • Stay→ Stoy: Some toy-related puns and phrases, as that’s what Santa’s elves tend to in the workshop: “Inexpensive. And built to stoy that way” and “Outstoy one’s welcome” and “Stoy ahead of the curve” and “Stoy in touch” and “Stoy on course” and “Stoy safe” and “Stoy tuned” and “Stoy together” and “Here to stoy” and “Stoy behind” and “Stoy the distance” and “If you can’t take the heat, stoy out of the kitchen.” Other stay-related words: mainstoy (mainstay), satoy (satay), overstoy (overstay), homestoy (homestay), stoycation (staycation).
  • *toi*→ *toy*: As in, “Down the toylet” and “Pack your toyletries” Other words that would also work: toyletry (toiletry), toyl (toil), tortoyse (tortoise), stoy-ic (stoic), stoy-icism (stoicism).
  • *ty→ *toy: As in, “Let’s partoy” and “Keep your integritoy” and “In the citoy centre.” Other words that will work: serendipitoy (serendipity), facilitoy (facility), dutoy (duty), entitoy (entity), beautoy (beauty), qualitoy (quality), stoyle (style), stereotoype (stereotype), securitoy (security), propertoy (property).
  • Deliver: As in, “Deliver the goods,” and “Same day delivery,” and “Stand and deliver,” and “A special delivery.”
    • Workshop: Since Santa’s workshop is where the magic happens, we’ve included workshop-related phrases and puns in this list. As in, “Santa’s workshop” and “Idle minds are the devil’s workshop.”
    • Work→ Workshop: As in “A workshop in progress” and “All in a day’s workshop” and “Bury yourself in your workshop” and “In the workshops.”
    • Shop→ Workshop: As in, “All over the workshop” and “Like a bull in a china workshop” and “Live all over the workshop” and “One stop workshop” and “Talk workshop” and “Top of the workshop.”
  • Spirit → Holiday Spirit: As in, “Enter into the holiday spirit of it” and “Kindred holiday spirit” and “Lift your holiday spirits” and “Be in good holiday spirits.”
    • Grot* → Grotto*: Make some puns about Santa’s grotto with the following puns: “Grottosque (grotesque) figures” and “The grotto-est room.”
    • *grat* → *grotto*: As in, “Eternally grottoful (grateful)” and “You have my grottotude” and “Grotto-itous (gratuitous) violence” and “Instant grotto-fication” and “Integrotto-ed systems” and “Congrottolations!”
    • *gret* → *grotto*: As in, “Quiet regrotto (regret)” and “Feeling regrottoful” and “Regrottobly low” and “Topped with vinaigrotto.”
  • The following pun section is dedicated to Santa’s reindeer:
    • Dash→ Dasher: Since Dasher is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dash in this list: “Crash and dasher” and “Dasher to pieces” and “Dasher off.”
    • *dish→ *dasher: As in, “What outlandasher (outlandish) claims!” and “Radasher cake” and “Childasher (childish) behaviour” and “A prudasher (prudish) mindset” and “A fiendasher (fiendish) child.”
    • Dance: As in, “Dance around the problem” and “Dance like nobody’s watching” and “Dance the night away” and “Dance your socks off” and “Just dance” and “Lead a merry dance” and “Make a song and dance about” and “Save the last dance for me.” Notes: to dance around the problem is to avoid it. To lead someone on a merry dance is to make things prolonged and complicated for someone. To make a song and dance about something is to make an unnecessarily big deal out of it.
    • *dance→ *dancer: As in, “Take attendancer” and “I need your guidancer and “In abundancer of” and “In accordancer with” and “Good riddancer to bad rubbish” and “Avoidancer techniques.”
    • Dense→ Dance: As in, “The cake should be light and fluffy, not dance” and “Are you dance?”
    • *dence→ *dance: As in, “Where’s the evidance?” and “A measured cadance” and “In confidance” and “Enter into correspondance with.”
    • Pants→ Prance: As in, “Ants in his prance” and “Beat the prance off” and “By the seat of your prance” and “Caught with your prance down” and “Drop your prance” and “Fancy prance” and “Fly by the seat of your prance” and “Keep your prance on” and “Prance on fire” and “Smarty prance” and “Keep it in your prance” and “Keep your prance on.”
    • Prince→ Prance: As in, “A prance among men” and “Prance of darkness” and “Prance of Persia.” Note: Prince of Persia is a video game franchise.
    • Prints→ Prance: As in, “I made some prance to hang on the walls.”
    • Comment→ Comet: As in, “No comet” and “Any questions, comets or concerns?”
    • Come→ Comet: As in, “All good things must comet to an end” and “Good things comet to those who wait” and “As tough as they comet” and “Christmas comets but once a year” and “Comet and get it” and “Comet away with me” and “Comet on over” and “Comet running” and “Comet together” and “Comet again?” and “Comet down hard on” and “Comet down on (someone) like a tonne of bricks” and “Comet full circle” and “Comet hell or high water” and “Comet home to a real fire” and “Comet home to roost” and “Comet in from the cold” and “Comet of age” and “Comet out and play” and “Comet out of the closet” and “Comet out of your shell” and “Comet out swinging” and “Comet rain or shine.”
    • Common→ Comet: As in, “A victory for comet sense” and “As comet as muck” and “Comet ground” and “Comet sense” and “Nothing in comet” and “The comet good.”
    • Cosmic→ Comet: As in, “Comet ordering.” Note: cosmic ordering is the idea that positive thinking without action can help you realise your dreams.
    • Comic→ Comet: As in, “Comet strip” and “Comet timing.”
    • Stupid*→ Cupid*: As in, “Criminal cupidity” and “I’m with cupid” and “Keep it simple, cupid” and “Cupid is as cupid does” and “Very interesting, but cupid.”
    • Kewpie→ Cupid: As in, “Cupid doll” and “Cupid mayonnaise.” Note: kewpie is both a type of doll and a brand of mayonnaise.
    • Done→ Donner: “Been there, donner that” and “Donner and dusted” and “A donner deal” and “Easier said than donner” and “Hard donner by” and “Well donner” and “When all is said and donner” and “I’m donner for.”
    • Do not→ Donner: As in, “Donner look now” and “Donner call us, we’ll call you” and “Donner get me started” and “Donner give up your day job” and “Donner go there” and “Donner hold your breath” and “Donner knock yourself out” and “Donner let the door hit you on the way out” and “Donner tell me what to do” and “Donner believe everything you hear” and “Donner get caught with your pants down” and “Donner knock it til you’ve tried it” and “I donner understand.”
    • Dinner→ Donner: As in, “Donner and a movie” and “A donner date” and “A dog’s donner” and “Guess who’s coming to donner?”
    • Pardon→ Par-donner: As in, “I beg your par-donner?” and “Well par-donner me for living” and “Par-donner my French” and “Par-donner me.” This also works well with other words ending with “don”, like abandon (abandonner), tendon (tendonner), armageddon (armageddonner) and London (Londonner).
    • Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out.”
    • Bliss→ Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out” and “A blitzful slumber” and “Domestic blitz” and “Ignorance is blitz” and “Marital blitz.”
    • Blister*→ Blitzer*: As in, “Blitzering barnacle” and “At blitzering speed” and “Blood blitzer” and “Blitzer pack” and “Blitzering heat.” Note: a blister pack is a type of plastic and foil packaging, usually for medicine.
  • Land→ Lapland: Santa’s workshop is said to be found in Lapland, so we’ve got some Lapland-style puns for you here: “A blot on the laplandscape” and “In the lapland of the living” and “A real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere lapland” and “In the lapland of nod” and “La la lapland” and “Lapland ahoy!” and “Lapland of hope and glory” and “Lapland of make believe” and “Lapland of milk and honey” and “A laplandscape painting” and “Living off the fat of the lapland” and “Never never lapland” and “No man’s lapland” and “Political laplandscape” and “A rough laplanding” and “The waste lapland” and “The lapland of the rising sun” and “The lapland of the free” and “The lapland that time forgot” and “The law of the lapland” and “By a laplandslide” and “The promised lapland” and “Cats always lapland on their feet.” Notes: “a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land” is a line from The Beatles  song “Nowhere Man”. A blot on the landscape is an unattractive part that takes away from the otherwise attractive whole.
  • Internet→ Winternet: As in, “Empowering the winternet generation” and “Surfing the winternet” and “The winternet of things.”
  • Intern→ Wintern: As in, “Looking for winterns” and “I’m winterning this summer.”
  • Winner→ Winter: As in, “Winter takes all” and “Everyone’s a winter!” and “A real winter’s attitude.”
  • Winter Wonderland→ Winter Punderland
  • Fast→ Feast: As in, “Feast as greased lightning” and “Feast as his legs could carry him” and “Bad news travels feast” and “Feast and Furious” and “Going nowhere feast” and “Not so feast!” and “Pull a feast one” and “Think feast.” Notes: to pull a fast one is to trick someone.
  • Feisty→ Feasty: As in, “A feasty character” and “Feasty words.” Note: feisty means ready to fight.
  • Faced→ Feast: As in, “Too-feast” and “Fresh feast” and “A bald-feast lie” and “Time you feast the truth.”
  • Least→ Feast: As in, “At the very feast” and “Not in the feast” and “To say the feast” and “Last but not feast” and “The line of feast resistance.”
  • Beast→ Feast: As in, “Beauty and the Feast” and “Here there be feasts” and “The nature of the feast” and “Unleash the feast.”
  • *fas*→ *feast*: As in, “Feasten your seatbelts” and “Feast asleep” and “Moving in feast-forward” and “On the feast track to success” and “Skipping breakfeast” and “Holding steadfeast” and “Feastidiously (fastidiously) clean.” Notes: to be steadfast is to be loyal and consistent. To be fastidious is to be very fussy and particular about details.
  • *fes*→ *feast*: As in, “Feastering wound” and “Join the feastivities” and “Feastooned with ribbons” and “A feastive atmosphere.” Other words you could use: manifeast (manifest), manifeasto (manifesto) and manifeastation (manifestation). Notes: A festoon is a hanging ornament. If something is manifest, then it’s able to be perceived. A manifesto is a document of principles.
  • *face*→ *feast*: As in: interfeast (interface), surfeast (surface) and multifeasted (multifaceted).
  • *fist*→ *feast*: As in, “Feastful of dollars” and “Feast of steel” and “With an iron feast.” Other words you could use: feasticuffs (fisticuffs), feastfight and pacifeast (pacifist).
  • *feas*→ *feast*: As in, “It’s not feastible” and “Think of the feastibility.” Note: feasible means practical to achieve or do.
  • First→ Frost: As in, “A world frost” and “At frost blush” and “Be the frost to know” and “Cast the frost stone” and “Frost blood” and “Frost come, frost served” and “Frost impressions last” and “Frost rate” and “Frost things frost” and “Head frost” and “Love at frost sight” and “Safety frost.”
  • *first*→ *frost*: Frosthand, frostly (firstly), frostborn, frost-rate, frost aid, headfrost, feet frost.
  • Foe→ Froze: As in, “Friend or froze?”
  • Flow*→ Froze*: As in, “Ebb and froze” and “Get the creative juices froze-ing” and “Go with the froze.”
  • Ferocious→ Frozecious: As in, “A frozecious facial expression.”
  • Cook → Cookie: Since it’s a tradition to leave milk and cookies for Santa, we’ve included cookie puns in this list too: “Cookie up a storm” and “Cookie-ing with gas” and “Too many cookies spoil the broth.”
  • Cookie: Some cookie-related phrases for you to use as puns: “A tough cookie,” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie jar,” and “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
  • Milk: To go with out cookie phrases, here are some milk-related phrases: “Mild as milk,” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” and “Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy,” and “Land of milk and honey,” and “The milk of human kindness.”
  • Fruit → Fruitcake: Fruitcakes are commonly served at Christmas, so we’ve included them in this list: “Forbidden fruit cake” and “Fruit cakes of your labor” and “Low hanging fruit cake.”
  • Cake → Fruitcake: As in, “A slice of the fruitcake” and “Fruitcake or death” and “Fruitcake walk” and “Fruitcaked with mud” and “Coffee and fruitcakes” and “Icing on the fruitcake” and “Let them eat fruitcake” and “Piece of fruitcake” and “Shut your fruitcake hole” and “Takes the fruitcake” and Cherry on the fruitcake” and “Have your fruitcake and eat it too.” Note: if something is a cakewalk, then it’s very easy.
  • Inaugural → Eggnogural: The next few puns are centered around eggnog, which is traditionally served at Christmas. Note that while eggnog has historically been made with egg, there are delicious and easy eggless recipes out there too. As in, “Eggnogural address” and “Eggnogural speech.” Note: an inauguration is a formal beginning.
  • Knock* → Eggnog*: As in, “I get eggnog-ed down, but I get up again” and “Eggnog on wood” and “Eggnog back a few” and “Eggnog into shape” and “Eggnog it off!” and “Eggnog something together” and “Eggnog the stuffing out of.”
  • Ignorance → Eggnogrance: As in, “Eggnogrance is bliss.”
  • Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light” and “Bring something to fairy light” and “The cold fairy light of day” and “First fairy light” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low” and “Give it the green fairy light” and “Go out like a fairy light” and “My guiding fairy light” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
  • Paddington → Puddington: Paddington bear is a children’s character.
  • Putting → Pudding: As in, “Off-pudding” and “Pudding things away” and “You’re pudding me down.”
  • Padding → Pudding: As in, “Pudding across the room barefoot” and “Cotton pudding.”
  • I see→ Icy: As in, “I call ’em as icy ’em” and “Icy what you did there.”
  • Nice→ Ice: As in, “Have an ice day” and “Make ice” and “Ice and easy” and “Did you have an ice time?” and “Ice save” and “Ice try” and “Ice work if you can get it” and “No more Mr. Ice Guy” and “Wouldn’t it be ice?” and “Couldn’t happen to an icer..” Note: to make nice is to be pleasant to someone you dislike or have issues with
  • Eyes→ Ice: As in, “Avert your ice,” and “Bat your ice” and “Bedroom ice” and “Before your very ice” and “Bright ice” and “Brings tears to my ice” and “Cried my ice out” and “Do my ice deceive me?” and “Easy on the ice” and “Ice in the back of your head” and “Ice like saucers” and “Feast your ice on this!” and “I can’t take my ice off you” and “In the ice of the law” and “Keep your ice on the prize” and “Keep your ice peeled.”
  • Ice: These ice-related phrases could serve as some bad snowman puns in the right context: “Cold as ice” and “Break the ice” and “Ice up” and “Ice, ice baby” and “On ice” and “Skating on thin ice” and “Tip of the iceberg.” Some ice-related words that could also work: iceberg, ice-cream and icebreaker.
  • *ice: Emphasise the “ice” in certain words: “Thank you for your service” and “Needs practice” and “Pride and Prejudice” and “Running for office” and “I need your advice” and “Where is the justice?” and “Left to your own devices” and “Not that you’d notice.” Note: Pride and Prejudice is a classic romance novel.
  • Eyes*→ Ice*: As in, “You’re an ice-sore” and “Poor icesight” and “Sultry iceshadow.”
  • *is*→ *ice*: As in, “A thorough analysice” and “A groundbreaking hypothesice” and “Arch nemesice (nemesis)” and “What’s the basice for your belief?” and “All down to logicestics” and “Sophicestication at its finest” and “You never told me otherwice.”
  • *ise→ *ice: As in, “Should any problems arice” and “An exciting premice” and “Adviceory board” and “No promices” and “Exercice your discretion” and “An enterprice-ing individual” and “I require your expertice.”
  • *ize→ *ice: A quick note that these words would have originally been spelled with “ize” using American spelling, and would have been spelled with “ise” using the British/Australian system: “I didn’t realice” and “Do you recognice me?” and “I apologice” and “Don’t patronice me” and “One sice fits all” and “Eyes on the price” and “Galvaniced into action.” Note: to galvanise is to shock or stimulate into action.
  • Mustard → Custard: As in, “Cut the custard” and “Keen as custard.” Note: if something cuts the mustard, then it’s been deemed to be good enough.
  • Reason → Season: As in, “Ain’t no season to go elsewhere” and “Beyond seasonable doubt” and “Stands to season” and “Listen to season” and “Rhyme or season.”
  • Seize → Season: As in, “Season him!” and “Season the day.”
  • Seas → Season: As in, “On the high season” and “A season change” and “All at season” and “Completely at season” and “At season level” and “Between the devil and the deep blue season” and “From season to shining season.”
  • Cherry→ Sherry: In some countries, it’s a tradition to leave sherry for Santa, so we’ve got some sherry-related puns in here too: “Sherry pick” and “Sherry pie” and “Sherry ripe” and “A second bite of the sherry” and “The sherry on the cake” and “A bowl of sherries.”
  • Share→ Sherry: As in, “A problem sherry’ed is a problem halved” and “A lion’s sherry” and “Sherry and sherry alike” and “Learn to sherry.”
  • Sheer→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry driving pleasure” and “Sherry madness” and “Sherry nonsense.”
  • Dear → Beer: In Australia, it’s a tradition to leave beers (rather than milk) for Santa along with cookies, so we’ve included beer puns for you to use: “Oh beer me” and “Hang on for beer life” and “Near and beer to my heart” and “Elementary, my beer Watson.”
  • Ear → Beer: As in “Grin from beer to beer” and “Let’s play it by beer” and “Lend a beer” and “In one beer and out the other.”
  • Peer → Beer: As in “Beer pressure” and “It’s like she was beering into my soul.”
  • Pier → Beer: As in “Take a long walk off a short beer.”
  • Bear → Beer: As in “Grizzly beer” and “Beer a resemblance” and “The right to beer arms” and “Beer down upon” and “Bear witness to …” and “Beer false witness” and “Beer fruit” and “Beer in mind that …” and “Bring to beer“. For other beer-related puns, see our beer puns list.
    • Care at→ Carrot: Since carrots are traditionally used as a nose when building snowmen, we’ve included carrots in this list: As in, “I couldn’t carrot all.”
    • Care about→ Carrot bout: As in, “Why should I carrot ’bout that?”
    • Carat→ Carrot: As in, “24 carrot gold.”
    • Rot→ Carrot: As in, “Carrot in hell!” and “Spoiled carrotten.”
    • Carrot: Use a couple of carrot-related phrases in your snowman wordplay: “Carrot and stick” and “Dangle the carrot.”
  • *ber*→ *brr*: As in, “Brry flavoured” and “Stop brrr-ating (berating) me” and “A wide brrth (berth)” and “Going brrrserk (berserk).” Other words that would work: brreft (bereft), brreavement (bereavement), numbrr, chambrr, ubrr (uber), sobrr (sober), fibrr (fiber), ambrr (amber), membrr, calibrr, remembrr, delibrrate, librral (liberal), librrty (liberty), abrration (aberration), cumbrrsome.
  • *bor* → *brr*: As in, “Beg, steal or brrow (borrow)” and “Dying from brredom” and “Unpaid labrr” and “Harbrring (harbouring) a fugitive” and “Good neighbrrs” and “An elabrrate plan.” Other words that could be used: corrobrrate (corroborate), collabrrate (collaborate), stubbrrn (stubborn).
  • *bur*→ *brr*: As in, “Brrst my bubble” and “Brrning the midnight oil” and “A heavy brrden (burden)” and “Brry (bury) the hatchet.” Other words that could work: reimbrrsement, brrrow (burrow), brrgeoning (burgeoning), brr (burr), excalibrr (excalibur), brrito (burrito).
  • You log → Yule log: As in, “Have yule logged on yet?” This is a very specific pun that refers to yule logs (large logs that are burned on Christmas Eve).
  • Grandchild* → Grinch-ild*: As in, “For my grinch-ildren” and “My youngest grinch-ild.” Note: the grinch is a fictional Christmas character.
  • Inch → Grinch: As in, “Give a grinch and they’ll take a mile” and “Half a grinch” and “Grinching along.”

The following section is specific to song titles that have been changed to include Christmas-related words:

  • Say My Name → Sleigh My Name (a song by Destiny’s Child)
  • Single Ladies → Jingle Ladies (by Beyonce)
  • Winter Wonderland → Winter Punderland (already a Christmas song, now made punny. )
  • Enter Sandman → Enter Santaman (a heavy metal song by Metallica)
  • Bootylicious → Sootylicious (another Destiny’s Child song)
  • Hollaback Girl → Ho Ho Hollaback Girl (A pop song by Gwen Stefani)
  • Call Me Maybe → Coal Me Maybe (by Carly Rae Jepsen)
  • Let It Go → Let It Snow: (from Disney’s Frozen – although “Let It Snow” is also a line from a separate Christmas song)
  • I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing → I Don’t Want To Mistletoe A Thing (a power ballad by Aerosmith)
  • Bohemian Rhapsory → Bohemian Wrapsody: (a classic by Queen).

Christmas-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Christmas puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

christmas, xmas, christmastide, ho ho ho, merry, yule, yuletide, noel, feliz navidad, eve, gifts, present, santa, claus, father christmas, saint nick/nicholas, kris kringle, naughty, nice, good, bad, jolly, elves, elf, reindeer, rudolph, red-nosed, sleigh, chimney, soot, christmas tree, christmas card, angel, star, bauble, tinsel, candy cane, wrapping paper, sack, coal, stocking, stocking stuffer,  tree, wreath, holly, mistletoe, carol, list, letter, 25th december, wishlist, greetings, holiday spirit, toys, candy, deliver, workshop, snowman, grotto, north pole, snow, snowy, snowball, christmas eve, dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, lapland, mrs. claus, cookies, milk, fruit cake, eggnog, pudding, custard, gingerbread, season, carrot, hat, scarf, ice, winter, winter wonderland, snowflake, frozen, give, giving,  sherry, beer, feast, cracker, lights, yule log, pudding, grinch

Songs: jingle bells, joy to the world, little drummer boy, holy night, white christmas, let it snow, deck the halls

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Santa Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on santa puns! 🦌🎅🏾 🍪🥛

Known by many different names (Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas and Santa Claus), Santa is a well-loved figure in the holiday world – an annual bringer of cheer and gifts to families around the world. Make your holiday preparations that much more special with our Santa puns – whether you’re making Santa puns for custom Christmas crackers, making some terribly corny Christmas party invites, or asking a special someone on a festive date, we hope that our list of Santa puns will have you covered.

While this list is as thorough as we could make it, it is specific to Santa. We do also have an entry of Christmas tree puns, reindeer puns, and will have other Christmas-specific lists coming soon too!

Santa Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Santa that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Santa puns:

  • Santa: To start us off, here are some Santa-related phrases for you to play with: “Santa’s little helpers,” and “Secret Santa.”
  • Satan→ Santa: As in, “The Church of Santa,” and “A santa-ist (satanist).”
  • Sanitise→ Santa-tise: As in, “Hand santa-tiser,” and “This area needs santa-tising,” and “Bad santa-tation.”
  • Sent her→ Santa: As in, “I santa a few presents, but she hasn’t received them.”
  • *sant→ *santa: As in, “Incessanta noise,” and “Pleasanta conversation,” and “Peasanta’s clothing,” and “Pheasanta’s don’t want to be eaten,” and “Are you cognisanta of that fact?” and “An unpleasanta atmosphere.”
  • *sent*→ *santa*: As in, “No is a complete santance,” and “Pigs are santa-ent (sentient) beings,” and “What a beautiful santament,” and “A santamental being,” and “All presanta and correct,” and “No time like the presanta,” and “Represantang,” and “Bet on our dissanta (dissent),” and “You have our assanta,” and “I resanta the insinuation,” and “Absanta without leave,” and “Conspicuously absanta.”
  • *cent*→ *santa*: As in, “The santa (centre) of attention,” and “Left, right and santa,” and “Take santa stage,” and “Sale of the santaury,” and “A desanta (decent) person,” and “A magnifisanta effort,” and “Don’t play innosanta,” and “The street adjasanta,” and “An eccsantaric (eccentric) character,” and “A sweet insanta-ive,” and “Are santapedes poisonous?”
  • *sand*→ *santa*: As in, santawich (sandwich), santabox (sandbox), santal (sandal), santastorm (sandstorm), thousanta (thousand), quicksanta (quicksand).
  • Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho,” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
  • *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays,” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea,” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
  • *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss,” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho,” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
  • Claustrophobic→ Clausetrophobic
  • Cause→ Clause: As in, “Claus a stir,” and “Claus and effect,” and “Claus for concern,” and “A lost claus,” and “Rebel without a claus,” and “A martyr to the claus,” and “Just beclaus you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
  • Claws→ Claus: As in, “Get one’s claus into,” and “Get your claus out.”
  • Clause→ Claus: As in, “A subordinate claus.”
  • Close→ Claus: As in, “A claus thing,” and “A claus call,” and “As one door clauses, another opens,” and “At claus quarters,” and “Behind claused doors,” and “Case claused,” and “Claus encounters,” and “Claus friends,” and “Claus proximity,” and “A claus shave,” and “Claus to home,” and “A claused book,” and “Don’t stand so claus to me,” and “Drawn to a claus,” and “Keep your cards claus,” and “Keep your friends claus and your enemies clauser,” and “Too claus for comfort,” and “Up claus and personal,” and “A skeleton in the clauset.”
  • Father→ Father Christmas: As in, “Father Christmas knows best,” and “Founding Father Christmas,” and “Like Father Christmas, like son.”
  • Nickel→ Nicholas: As in, “If I had a nicholas every time..”
  • Nick: St. Nick is another name for Santa, so here are some nick-related phrases: “In good nick,” and “In the nick of time.”
  • Neck→ Nick: As in, “At breaknick speed,” and “Break your nick,” and “Breathing down your nick,” and “Nick and nick,” and “A pain in the nick,” and “Stick your nick out,” and “This nick of the woods,” and “Up to your nick in trouble,” and “Win by a nick,” and “By the nape of your nick.”
  • Next→ Nicks: As in, “America’s Nicks Top Model,” and “Better luck nicks time,” and “Boy nicks door,” and “Knock into the middle of nicks week,” and “The nicks generation,” and “Nicks in line to the throne,” and “Nicks to nothing,” and “Take it to the nicks level,” and “A week from nicks Tuesday.” Note: America’s Next Top Model is a competitive reality TV show.
  • Neck*→ Nick*: As in, nicklace (necklace), nicktie, nicking (necking), nickline, bottlenick, rubbernick, breaknick and turtlenick. Notes: necking is a colloquial term for making out. Rubbernecking is the act of craning your neck to stare at something you find interesting.
  • *nick*: Emphasise the “nick” in certain words to make references to St. Nick in your wordplay: nickel, nickname, Nickelodeon, snicker, finicky, knickers, and persnickety. Note: to be finicky is to be particular or fussy. Persnickety is a synonym for finicky.
  • *nock*→ *nick*: As in, “Well knick me down with a feather,” and “What a knickout!”
  • knuckle→ nickle: As in, “Nickle sandwich,” and “Nickle dusters,” and “Nickle under,” and “A white-nickle experience.” Note: a white-knuckle experience is one that was particularly stressful or frightening.
  • *nak*→ *nick*: As in, “Nicked (naked) as the day you were born,” and “The nicked truth,” and “Lower than a snick’s belly,” and “Snick eyes.” Note: snake eyes are when two dice are rolled and both result in a one.
  • Snakes and Ladders→ St. Nicks and Ladders: Snakes and Ladders is a fairly retro board game.
  • Snakes on a Plane→ St. Nicks on a Plane: Snakes on a Plane is a thriller action movie. This pun would work particularly well as a visual/comic pun.
  • Heineken→ Heinicken: Heineken is a beer.
  • *nik*→ *nick*: As in, “A new Nickon camera,” and “Part of the beatnick scene,” and “A new monicker,” and “The artist’s manickin.” Notes: a moniker is a nickname or alias. A beatnik is a stereotype from a literary movement in the 1950s-1960s.
  • Crisp→ Kris: Santa Claus is also known as Kris Kringle, so we can use this name to make some silly Santa puns too. As in, “Burnt to a kris.”
  • Krispy Kreme→ Krispy Kringle
  • *cras*→ *kris*: As in, “Krish and burn,” and “A kriss (crass) statement,” and “Stop prokristinating!” and “Her idiosynkrisies are part of her charm.” Note: idiosyncrasies are habitual behaviours or mannerisms that a person has.
  • Cres*→ Kris*: As in, “The family krist,” and “On the krist of a wave,” and “A kriscent moon,” and “The scene reached a kriscendo,” and “She looked kristfallen.” Note: a crescendo is a slow increase in something – music, atmosphere, emotion etc.
  • *cris*→ *kris*: As in, “A krisis situation,” and “A krispy coating,” and “Put it in the krisper,” and “I won’t stand for such hypokrisy.”
  • *cros*→ *kris*: As in, “A storyline krissover,” and “The weekly krissword,” and “Animal Krissing,” and “At a krissroads,” and “Akristic poem,” and “Under a mikriscope.” Note: an acrostic is a type of poem that focuses on the first letter of each line in the poem. Animal Crossing is an RPG game.
  • Crus*→ Kris*: As in, “Upper krist,” and “Kristaceans (crustaceans) aren’t food.”
  • Ludicrous→ Ludikris: As in, “What a ludikris idea.” Note: to be ludicrous is to be foolish or unreasonable.
  • Cringe→ Kringle: As in, “Kringle-inducing,” and “Kringleworthy.”
  • Crinkle→ Kringle: As in, “You’ve kringled the paper,” and “My dress is kringled now.”
  • Crystal→ Kristal: As in, “As clear as kristal,” and “Kristal clear.”
  • *chris/chrys*→ *kris*: As in, “A white krismas,” and “Krismas is coming,” and “A born-again kristian,” and “Are you kristened?” and “I love krisanthemums (chysanthemums),” and “It’s about time you emerged from your krisalis (chrysalis).” Note: Chrysanthemums are a type of flower.
  • Slytherin→ Sleightherin
  • Slay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh, queen,” and “Sleigh the dragon.”
  • Say*→ Sleigh*: As in, “As the sleighing goes,” and “Do as I sleigh, not as I do,” and “Does exactly what it sleighs on the box,” and “Have the final sleigh,” and “Just sleigh the word,” and “It goes without sleighing,” and “Never sleigh never,” and “Sleigh cheese!” and “Sleigh it loud and sleigh it proud,” and “Sleigh it with flowers,” and “Sleigh uncle,” and “Sleigh what you mean and mean what you sleigh,” and “Sleigh your prayers,” and “Simon sleighs,” and “As I was sleighing,” and “If I do sleigh so myself,” and “I’ll sleigh,” and “Let’s not and sleigh we did,” and “Sleigh again?” and “That’s sleighing something,” and “To sleigh the least,” and “You can’t sleigh fairer than that.”
  • Sleight: Emphasise the “sleigh” – “Sleigh-t of hand.”
  • Lay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh a finger on,” and “Sleigh down your arms,” and “Sleigh down your life,” and “Sleigh eyes on,” and “Sleigh down the law,” and “Sleigh it on thick,” and “The sleigh of the land,” and “Sleigh down the groundwork.”
  • Laid→ Sleigh’d: As in, “Get sleigh’d,” and “Sleigh’d back,” and “Sleigh’d bare” and “Sleigh’d to rest,” and “Even the best sleigh’d plans.”
  • Said→ Sleigh’d: As in, “After all is sleigh’d and done,” and “I couldn’t have sleigh’d it better,” and “Easier sleigh’d than done,” and “Enough sleigh’d,” and “No sooner sleigh’d than done,” and “‘Nuff sleigh’d,” and “Was it something I sleigh’d?” and “That’s what you sleigh’d.”
  • Sight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “Catch sleigh’t of,” and “Hidden in plain sleigh’t,” and “Love at first sleigh’t,” and “Not a pretty sleigh’t,” and “Out of sleigh‘t,” and “Set your sleigh’ts on,” and “A sleigh’t for sore eyes,” and “A sleigh’t to behold,” and “Hindsleigh’t is 20/20,” and “Can’t stand the sleigh’t of,” and “A sorry sleigh’t.”
  • Slight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “A sleigh’t oversight,” and “Sleigh‘tly ahead of our time,” and “Not in the sleigh’test,” and “A sleigh’t misunderstanding.”
  • Slate→ Sleight’: As in, “A blank sleigh’t,” and “A clean sleigh’t,” and “Wipe the sleigh’t clean.”
  • *sight*→ *sleight*: As in, “I value your insleight,” and “An enormous oversleight,” and “In hindsleight,” and “An insleightful person,” and “I wish I had your foresleight,” and “A sleightseeing tour.”
  • *sley→ *sleigh: As in, parsleigh (parsley), paisleigh (paisley), Elvis Presleigh (Presley), and Ronald Weasleigh (Weasley).
  • Lay*→ Sleigh*: As in, “The topmost sleigher (layer),” and “Sleighout (layout) designer,” and “In sleighperson’s terms.” Note: a layperson is someone with no training or qualifications in a particular subject.
  • *say*→ *sleigh*: As in, “I have an essleigh (essay) due Monday,” and “That’s hearsleigh (hearsay),” and “Don’t be a naysleigher,” and “The old soothsleigher.” Notes: hearsay is a type of evidence that has a reputation for being untrustworthy or unreliable. A soothsayer is one who predicts the future.
  • *sly→ *sleigh: Use words that end in “sly” to make some corny sleigh puns: “It happened simultaneousleigh,” and “Well, obviousleigh,” and “You performed flawlessleigh.” Here are some other words that would work with this: surreptitiousleigh (surreptitiously), continuousleigh (continuously), vicariousleigh (vicariously), seamlessleigh (seamlessly), previousleigh (previously), thusleigh (thusly), seriousleigh (seriously), furiousleigh (furiously), carelessleigh (carelessly), shamelessleigh (shamelessly), soundlessleigh (soundlessly), maliciousleigh (maliciously), curiousleigh (curiously), ceremoniousleigh (ceremoniously), tenaciousleigh (tenaciously), frivolousleigh (frivolously), deviousleigh (deviously), fabulousleigh (fabulously), famousleigh (famously), gloriousleigh (gloriously).
  • Elvis→ Elfis
  • Chimney: A chimney-related phrase for you to play with: “Smokes like a chimney.”
  • Jiminy→ Chimney: As in, “Chimney cricket!” Note: Jiminy cricket is both a way of swearing and a character in the Disney movie Pinocchio.
  • Suit→ Soot: As in, “All over him like a cheap soot,” and “At a price to soot your pocket,” and “Follow soot,” and “In your birthday soot,” and “Soot up!” and “Soots you down to a tee,” and “Soots you down to the ground.”
  • Shoot→ Soot: As in, “Don’t soot the messenger,” and “Drive-by sooting,” and “Eats, soots and leaves,” and “The green soots of recovery,” and “Just soot me,” and “A sharp sooter,” and “Sooting blanks,” and “Soot down in flames,” and “Sooting from the hip,” and “Soot hoops,” and “Soot the breeze,” and “Soot your mouth off,” and “Soot yourself in the foot,” and “Soot for the sky,” and “Soot [one] a dirty look.”
  • Chute→ Soot: As in, “A golden parasoot,” and “Straight out of the soot.”
  • *suit*→ *soot*: As in, “A sootable choice,” and “A new sootor,” and “Pack your sootcase!” Other words that will work: sooted (suited), sootability (suitability), sootably (suitably), pursoot (pursuit), lawsoot (lawsuit), wetsoot (wetsuit), jumpsoot (jumpsuit), swimsoot (swimsuit), tracksoot (tracksuit).
  • Sack: Change up your Santa puns with these sack-related phrases: “Get the sack,” and “Hit the sack,” and “A sad sack.”
  • Sick→ Sack: As in, “Sack as a dog,” and “Enough to make you sack,” and “One sack puppy,” and “In sackness and in health,” and “Morning sackness,” and “Off sack,” and “On the sack list,” and “Phone in sack,” and “Pull a sackie,” and “Sack and tired,” and “Sack to death of,” and “Sack to the stomach,” and “Worried sack.”
  • Shake→ Sack: As in, “Bone-sacking,” and “A fair sack,” and “Sacking my head,” and “In two sacks of a lamb’s tail,” and “More than you can sack a stick at,” and “Sack a leg,” and “Sack like a leaf,” and “Movers and sackers.”
  • Sec*→ Sack*: As in,”Our best-kept sackret,” and “Having sackond thoughts,” and “Just a sackond,” and “Play sackond fiddle,” and “A sackond childhood,” and “Sackond nature,” and “Two-sackond rule,” and “In the wrong sacktion.” Some other sec* words: sackular (secular), sackurity (security), sackure (secure), sackretary (secretary), consackutive (consecutive), sacktor (sector).
  • *sic*→ *sack*: As in, “Blow this popsackle stand,” and “Face the musack,” and “Make beautiful musack together,” and “Physackal (physical) education,” and “Back to basacks.” Some other *sic* words: sackle (sickle), sackly (sickly), sackening (sickening), intrinsack (intrinsic), classack (classic), forensack (forensic), physacks (physics), extrinsack (extrinsic), and whimsackal (whimsical).
  • Sock → Sack: As in, “Knock their sacks off,” and “Pull your sacks up,” and “Put a sack in it,” and “Sack it to me!”
  • Shock→ Sack: As in, “Electric sack,” and “Culture sack,” and “In for a sack,” and “Shell-sacked,” and “Sack and awe,” and “Sack horror,” and “A short, sharp sack.” Some other “shock” words: sacked (shocked), aftersack (aftershock), sackwave (shockwave), sacker (shocker).
  • Suc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sack it up,” and “Sack it in,” and “Sacker punch,” and “Be careful who you step on while climbing the ladder of sackcess,” and “If at first you don’t sackceed, the hell with it.” Other suc* words: Sackcint (succinct), sackcumb (succumb), sackcessful (successful), and sackcession (succession).
  • *sack*: Other sack-related words for you to play with: ransack, rucksack, hoversack and knapsack.
  • *sac*→ *sack*: As in, “A massive sackrifice,” and “Sackrilege!” and “A committee is a cul-de-sack where ideas go quietly to die,” and “A completed transacktion,” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massackre.”
  • *shack*→ *sack*: As in, “In sackles,” and “A ramsackle apartment.” Note: if something is ramshackle, then it looks so carelessly put together that it seems on the verge of collapse.
  • *shak*→ *sack*: As in, “A sacky argument,” and “Movers and sackers,” and “This is a sackdown (shakedown)!” and “A weak handsack,” and “My milksack brings all the boys to the yard,” and “She was sacken by the news.”
  • Soc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sacker mom (soccer),” and “Electrical sacket.” Note: a soccer mom is a stereotype that broadly refers to middle-class, suburban women who spend a large amount of time at school events.
  • Shakespeare→ Sackspeare
  • *self→ *elf: As in, “An elf-made business owner,” and “Apply your-elf,” and “Be your-elf,” and “Pull your-elf together,” and “I didn’t do it my-elf.” Note: this also works for the plural forms of both self and elf – as in, “Apply your-elves (apply yourselves),” and “Pull your-elves together.”
  • Selfie→ Elfie: As in, “Take an elfie,” and “Use an elfie stick.”
  • Self-*→ Elf-*: As in, “Have some elf-conficence,” and “She’s got good elf-control.” Other words that would work with this format: elf-contained, elf-deceiving, elf-deprecating, elf-determination, elf-enrichment, elf-governing, elf-help, elf-improvement, elf-perpetuating, elf-portrait, elf-sufficient.
  • Self*→ Elf*: As in, “An elfish (selfish) person,” and “Elfless (selfless) bravery,” and “I won’t stand for such elfishness (selfishness).”
  • *alf*→ *elf*: As in, elfalfa (alfalfa), elfredo (alfredo), behelf (behalf – as in, “On behelf of”), and melfunction (malfunction – as in, “Why is the computer melfunctioning?”)
  • Health→ Helf: As in, “A helfy mind in a helfy body,” and “Bad for your helf,” and “A clean bill of helf,” and “Glowing with helf,” and “In sickness and in helf,” and “A picture of helf,” and “Take a helf-y interest,” and “Ill helf,” and “In the pink of helf,” and “Helfy as a horse.” Note: if you’re in the pink of health, then you’re in very good condition.
  • Wealth→ Welf: As in, “Rolling in welf,” and “Redistribution of welf,” and “Share the welf.”
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup,” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Effin’ → Elfin: As in, “Elfin hell,” and “Not another elfin word!” Note: Effin’ is shorthand slang for f*cking.
  • Effed → Elfed: As in, “I elfed up,” and “It’s completely elfed.” Note: Effed is shorthand slang for f*cked (in the context that something is thoroughly ruined).
  • Gift: As gifts are a part of Santa’s legend, we’ve provided gift-related phrases to play with: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “A gift from the gods,” and “Gift of life,” and “Gift of the gab,” and “The gift of time,” and “The gift that keeps on giving.” Notes: the gift of the gab is a talent for communication. To look a gift horse in the mouth is to question the value of a gift or to be ungrateful.
  • Give→ Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up,” and “I don’t gift a monkey’s,” and “Don’t gift up your day job,” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t gift a damn,” and “Gift peace a chance,” and “Gift a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift an inch and they’ll take a mile,” and “Gift it all you’ve got,” and “Gift it to me straight,” and “Gift me liberty or gift me death,” and “What gifts?” and “Wouldn’t gift you the time of day.” Note” the quote “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” is a line from the movie “Gone With the Wind.”
  • Giving→ Gifting: As in, “They’re gifting me a dirty look,” and “The gift that keeps on gifting.”
  • Forgive→ Forgift: As in, “Forgift your enemies; nothing annoys them more,” and “Forgift and forget,” and “To err is human, to forgift – divine,” and “Have you forgiften me yet?”
  • Present: Some present-related phrases to mix into your puns: “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.” Note: if present company is excepted, then the topics or complaints at hand do not apply to those in attendance.
  • Presence→ Presents: As in, “The honour of your presents is requested,” and “Grace us with your presents.”
  • Pleasant→ Present: As in, “I don’t have time for presentries,” and “Present conversation,” and “Why the unpresentness (unpleasantness)?”
  • Resent→ Present: As in, “I present the insinuation!”
  • Naughty: We can reference Santa’s naughty or nice list with these naughty-related phrases: “The naughty corner,” and “Naughty but nice.”
  • Nutty→ Naughty: As in, “A sweet, naughty flavour.”
  • Nautical→ Naughty-cal: As in, “A naughty-cal mile,” and “Naughty-cal life.”
  • Nought→ Naughty: As in, “Naughty and crosses,” and “It’s all come to naughty.”
  • *nut→ *naughty: As in, chestnaughty (chestnut), walnaughty (walnut), doughnaughty (doughnut – could also be donaughty), peanaughty (peanut), coconaughty (coconut), butternaughty (butternut), hazelnaughty (hazelnut).
  • *naut→ *naughty: As in, astronaughty (astronaut), aeronaughty (aeronaut), cybernaughty (cybernaut), juggernaughty (juggernaut).
  • Nice: Make references to Santa’s naughty or nice list with these nice-related phrases: “Have a nice day,” and “Make nice,” and “Naughty but nice,” and “Nice and easy does it,” and “A nice place to visit,” and “Nice save,” and “Nice try,” and “Nice work if you can get it,” and “Nicely put,” and “No more mister nice guy,” and “The key to a nice, relaxed evening,” and “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and “Couldn’t happen to a nicer..” Notes: to make nice is to behave nicely to someone in an insincere manner.
  • *nis*→ *nice*: Anything with the “nice” sound or that can rhyme with nice can be changed to include the word nice: adminice-ter (administer), agnice-tic (agnostic), banniceter (bannister), botanicet (botanist), businice (business), cynicecism (cynicism), ethniceity (ethnicity), hedonicetic (hedonistic), hygienicet (hygienist), impressionicet (impressionist), happinice (happiness), uniceson (unison).
  • Good: We can also reference the naughty/nice idea with these phrases related to good: “A bill of goods,” and “A change is as good as a rest,” and “A good egg,” and “A good time was had by all,” and “A world of good,” and “All good things must come to an end,” and “All in good time,” and “No news is good news,” and “Good as gold,” and “Good as it gets,” and “Good as new,” and “Good as your word,” and “As good luck would have it,” and “Do a good turn,” and “Do you want the good news or the bad news?” and “Fight the good fight,” and “A good samaritan,” and “Good vibrations,” and “Good and ready,” and “Good enough to eat,” and “Good for a laugh,” and “Good for nothing,” and “Good riddance,” and “Good things come in small packages,” and “Goodness gracious me,” and “Read any good books lately?”
  • Could→ Good: As in, “As fast as his legs good carry him,” and “I goodn’t care less,” and “I good do it in my sleep,” and “I good see you a mile away,” and “If looks good kill,” and “Good have heard a pin drop,” and “Good have knocked me down with a feather.”
  • Bad: Make more references to Santa’s naughty/nice list with these bad-related phrases: “A bad break,” and “Ain’t half bad,” and “Bad intentions,” and “Bad romance,” and “A bad apple,” and “Bad blood,” and “Bad for your health,” and “A bad hair day,” and “Bad mouthed,” and “Bad news travels fast,” and “A bad taste in the mouth,” and “A bad time,” and “The bearer of bad news,” and “Do you want the good news or the bad news?” and “Fall into bad habits,’ and “From bad to worse,” and “Get off to a bad start,” and “Gone to the bad,” and “Got it bad,” and “In a bad way,” and “My bad,” and “Not bad,” and “On bad terms with,” and “Take the good with the bad,” and “No such thing as bad press,” and “Bad company,” and “Bad to the bone,” and “In (someone’s) bad books,” and “In bad shape,” and “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
  • Bad→ Bed: As in, “Bad and breakfast,” and “A bad of nails,” and “Between you, me and the badpost,” and “Early to bad and early to rise,” and “Get into bad with,” and “Get out of the wrong side of the bad,” and “Go to bad with,” and “Don’t let the bad bugs bite.” Note: if something is between you, someone else, and the bedpost, then it’s a secret.
  • *bad*: Emphasize the “bad” in certain words: badger, badass, badge, badly and badminton.
  • *bed*→ *bad*: As in, “It’s badlam (bedlam) in here!” and “Strange badfellows (bedfellows),” and “Tears before badtime,” and “On your deathbad,” and “Trust is the badrock of a good relationship,” and “Change the badding (bedding),” and “Why do you look so badraggled (bedraggled)?” and “Meet you in the badroom,” and “A hotbad (hotbed) for criminal activity,” and “When laws are unjust, civil disobadience is necessary.” Notes: bedlam is a general confusion or chaos. Strange bedfellows are people who are brought together who have little in common. If something is bedraggled, then it looks ruined and dirty.
  • *bid*→ *bad*: As in, “Forbadden fruit,” and “Morbad interests,” and “To the highest badder.”
  • *bod*→ *bad*: As in, “Anybady who is anybady,” and “Bady blow,” and “Everybady and their cousin,” and “Over my dead bady,” and “Spoil somebady rotten,” and “They embady the true nature of forgiveness,” and “A feeling of forebading,” and “The embadiment of kindness.” Note: to embody something is to make it concrete and real.
  • *bud*→ *bad*: As in, “Study baddy,” and “Champagne taste on a beer badget,” and “Within badget,” and “Study Baddhism,” and “Badgie smuggler,” and “Gather rosebads,” and “A treat for your tastebads,” and “Contact the ombadsman,” and “They wouldn’t badge (budge).” Notes: a budgie smuggler is Australian slang for a type of tight-fitting Speedo. An ombudsman is a public official whose role is to represent and protect public interests.
  • Deer: Use this well-known deer-related phrase to refer to Santa’s reindeer – “Deer in headlights.”
  • Dear→ Deer: As in, “After you, my deer,” and “Deerly beloved, we are gathered here today,” and “Elementary, my deer Watson,” and “Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn,” and “Hang on for deer life,” and “Near and deer to my heart,” and “Nearest and deerest.”
  • Eerie→ Deerie: As in, “A deerie atmosphere.” Note: eerie means creepy.
  • Dairy→ Deery: As in, “Deery is scary.”
  • Rain, dear→ Rain, deer: As in, “It looks like rain, deer!”
  • Fond→ Fawned/Fawn’d: As in, “Absence makes the heart grow fawnder,” and “A fawned farewell.”
  • Dare→ Deer: As in, “Deer for more,” and “Deer to be different,” and “How deer you!” and “Deer to dream,” and “Who deers wins.”
  • Rude→ Rudolph: As in, “A rudolph awakening.”
  • *rood*→ *rudolph*: Change words that rhyme with “rude” to include “rudolph”: “Debt accrudolph” (accrued),” and “Coffee’s brudolph (brewed),” and “Crudolph (crude) oil,” and “Don’t intrudolph (intrude).”
  • Dash→ Dasher: Since Dasher is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dash in this list: “Crash and dasher,” and “Dasher to pieces,” and “Dasher off.”
  • *dish→ *dasher: As in, “What outlandasher (outlandish) claims!” and “Radasher cake,” and “Childasher (childish) behaviour,” and “A prudasher (prudish) mindset,” and “A fiendasher (fiendish) child.”
  • Dance: As Dancer is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dance-related phrases for you to play with: “Dance around the problem,” and “Dance like nobody’s watching,” and “Dance the night away,” and “Dance your socks off,” and “Just dance,” and “Lead a merry dance,” and “Make a song and dance about,” and “Save the last dance for me.” Notes: to dance around the problem is to avoid it. To lead someone on a merry dance is to make things prolonged and complicated for someone. To make a song and dance about something is to make an unnecessarily big deal out of it.
  • *dance→ *dancer: As in, “Take attendancer,” and “I need your guidancer,” and “In abundancer of,” and “In accordancer with,” and “Good riddancer to bad rubbish,” and “Avoidancer techniques.”
  • Dense→ Dance: As in, “The cake should be light and fluffy, not dance,” and “Are you dance?”
  • *dence→ *dance: As in, “Where’s the evidance?” and “A measured cadance,” and “In confidance,” and “Enter into correspondance with.”
  • Pants→ Prance: These puns will help you refer to Prancer, another of Santa’s reindeer: “Ants in his prance,” and “Beat the prance off,” and “By the seat of your prance,” and “Caught with your prance down,” and “Drop your prance,” and “Fancy prance,” and “Fly by the seat of your prance,” and “Keep your prance on,” and “Prance on fire,” and “Smarty prance,” and “Keep it in your prance,” and “Keep your prance on.”
  • Prince→ Prance: As in, “A prance among men,” and “Prance of darkness,” and “Prance of Persia.” Note: Prince of Persia is a video game franchise.
  • Prints→ Prance: As in, “I made some prance to hang on the walls.”
  • Common→ Comet: Make references to Comet, one of Santa’s reindeer, with these: “A victory for comet sense,” and “As comet as muck,” and “Comet ground,” and “Comet sense,” and “Nothing in comet,” and “The comet good.”
  • Comment→ Comet: As in, “No comet,” and “Any questions, comets or concerns?”
  • Come→ Comet: As in, “All good things must comet to an end,” and “Good things comet to those who wait,” and “As tough as they comet,” and “Christmas comets but once a year,” and “Comet and get it,” and “Comet away with me,” and “Comet on over,” and “Comet running,” and “Comet together,” and “Comet again?” and “Comet down hard on,” and “Comet down on (someone) like a tonne of bricks,” and “Comet full circle,” and “Comet hell or high water,” and “Comet home to a real fire,” and “Comet home to roost,” and “Comet in from the cold,” and “Comet of age,” and “Comet out and play,” and “Comet out of the closet,” and “Comet out of your shell,” and “Comet out swinging,” and “Comet rain or shine.”
  • Cosmic→ Comet: As in, “Comet ordering.” Note: cosmic ordering is the idea that positive thinking without action can help you realise your dreams.
  • Comic→ Comet: As in, “Comet strip,” and “Comet timing.”
  • Cupid: As Cupid is one of Santa’s reindeer, this Cupid-related phrase can stand in as a Santa pun: “Play Cupid.” Note: to play Cupid is to attempt to act as a match-maker.
  • Stupid*→ Cupid*: As in, “Criminal cupidity,” and “I’m with cupid,” and “Keep it simple, cupid,” and “Cupid is as cupid does,” and “Very interesting, but cupid.”
  • Kewpie→ Cupid: As in, “Cupid doll,” and “Cupid mayonnaise.” Note: kewpie is both a type of doll and a brand of mayonnaise.
  • *cup→ *cupid: As in, hiccupid, buttercupid, and teacupid.
  • Done→ Donner: Donner is another of Santa’s reindeer, so it’s been included in this list too: “Been there, donner that,” and “Donner and dusted,” and “A donner deal,” and “Easier said than donner,” and “Hard donner by,” and “Well donner,” and “When all is said and donner,” and “I’m donner for.”
  • Do not→ Donner: As in, “Donner look now,” and “Donner call us, we’ll call you,” and “Donner get me started,” and “Donner give up your day job,” and “Donner go there,” and “Donner hold your breath,” and “Donner knock yourself out,” and “Donner let the door hit you on the way out,” and “Donner tell me what to do,” and “Donner believe everything you hear,” and “Donner get caught with your pants down,” and “Donner knock it til you’ve tried it,” and “I donner understand.”
  • Dinner→ Donner: As in, “Donner and a movie,” and “A donner date,” and “A dog’s donner,” and “Guess who’s coming to donner?”
  • Pardon→ Par-donner: As in, “I beg your par-donner?” and “Well par-donner me for living,” and “Par-donner my French,” and “Par-donner me.” This also works well with other words ending with “don”, like abandon (abandonner), tendon (tendonner), armageddon (armageddonner) and London (Londonner).
  • Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out.” Note: Blitzen is one of Santa’s reindeer.
  • Bliss→ Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out,” and “A blitzful slumber,” and “Domestic blitz,” and “Ignorance is blitz,” and “Marital blitz.”
  • Blister*→ Blitzer*: As in, “Blitzering barnacle,” and “At blitzering speed,” and “Blood blitzer,” and “Blitzer pack,” and “Blitzering heat.” Note: a blister pack is a type of plastic and foil packaging, usually for medicine.
  • Present: We put gifts and presents under Christmas trees, so we’ve included these words in this list too. As in, “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.”
  • Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present,” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
  • Gift: As in, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “Gift of life,” and “A gift that keeps on giving,” and “A gift from above.”
  • Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in,” and “Gift yourself a bad name,” and “Gift them a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift it a rest,” and “Gift it the green light,” and “Gift me a call,” and “Gift 110%”.
  • Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
  • Cook→ Cookie: Since it’s a tradition to leave milk and cookies for Santa, we’ve included cookie puns in this list too: “Cookie the books,” and “Cookie up a storm,” and “Cookied up,” and “Too many cookies spoil the broth.”
  • Cookie: Some cookie-related phrases for you to use as puns: “A tough cookie,” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie jar,” and “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
  • Milk: To go with out cookie phrases, here are some milk-related phrases: “Mild as milk,” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” and “Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy,” and “Land of milk and honey,” and “The milk of human kindness.”
  • Coal: It’s traditional for Santa to leave coal for naughty children, so we’ve included coal-related phrases here: “Black as coal,” and “Rake over the coals,” and “Like a cat on hot coals.”
  • Goal→ Coal: As in, “A coal in mind,” and “Moving the coalposts,” and “Score a coal.”
  • Cold→ Coal’d: As in, “Coal’d as blue blazes,” and “Coal’d as ice,” and “Hot and coal’d,” and “Break out in a coal’d sweat,” and “Catch a coal‘d,” and “Catch your death of coal’d,” and “A coal’d heart,” and “Coal’d calling,” and “Coal’d comfort,” and “A coal’d day in hell,” and “Coal’d feet,” and “Coal’d light of day,” and “The coal’d shoulder,” and “Come in from the coal’d,” and “Coal’d, hard cash,” and “In coal’d blood,” and “A coal’d and frosty morning,” and “Left out in the coal’d,” and “Out coal’d,” and “Revenge is a dish best served coal’d,” and “Stone coal’d sober,” and “Take a coal’d, hard look.”
  • Cool→ Coal: As in, “Coal as a cucumber,” and “Coal beans,” and “A coal million,” and “Coal off,” and “Coal your heels,” and “Coal, calm and collected,” and “Keep your coal,” and “Play it coal,” and “A coaling-off period.”
  • Crawl→ Coal: As in, “Coal back into your shell,” and “Coal out of the woodwork,” and “Don’t try to walk before you can coal,” and “Makes my skin coal.”
  • *col* → *coal*: As in, “Coalour (colour) coded,” and “A work coalleague,” and “In from the coald,” and “A stamp coallection.” Other words that work with this: coallusion (collusion), coallateral (collateral), coallege (college), coalon (colon), coallaborate (collaborate), coalumn (column), protocoal (protocol), semicoalon (semicolon), chocoalate (chocolate), coallar (collar), coalogne (cologne), Coalumbia (Columbia), coallapse (collapse), coallagen (collagen), scoald (scold).
  • *gol*→ *coal*: As in, “Good as coald (gold),” and “You’re coalden (golden),” and “Do you play coalf (golf)?” Other words that work with this: coalem (golem), coaliath (goliath), coaldilocks (goldilocks), coally (golly), and maricoald (marigold).
  • *cole*→ *coal*: As in: coalslaw (coleslaw) and narcoalepsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a sleeping disorder.
  • Cul*→ Coal*: As in, “Third coalture kid,” and “This is not a coalt (cult),” and “Buddhism is about coaltivating kindness.” Other words that work with this format: coalprit (culprit), coall (cull), coalinary (culinary), coalpable (culpable), and coalminate (culminate).
  • Stock→ Stocking: As in, “In stocking,” and “Lock, stocking and barrel,” and “Out of stocking,” and “Take stocking.”
  • Stick→ Stocking: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but you can make it work: “A stocking to beat you with,” and “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stocking,” and “Got hold of the wrong end of the stocking,” and “More than you can shake a stocking at,” and “Short end of the stocking,” and “Stocking point.” Note: a sticking point is a point in a discussion where it is difficult to reach an agreement.
  • Christmas Tree: Since it’s part of Santa’s story to leave presents under a tree, we’ve included tree-related phrases and puns in this list: “Done up like a Christmas tree,” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree,” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
  • Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree,” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree,” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees,” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees,” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks,” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave,” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees,” and “Christmas tree hugger,” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
  • Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree,” and “Good things come in trees,” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men,” and “Tree’s a charm.”
  • Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom,” and “As tree as a bird,” and “Breathe treely,” and “Buy one, get one tree,” and “Tree for all,” and “Treedom of the press,” and “Get out of jail tree,” and “The best things in life are tree,” and “Land of the tree,” and “Leader of the tree world,” and “The truth will set you tree,” and “No such thing as a tree lunch,” and “When hell treezes over,” and “Think treely.”
  • *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem,” and “Full of nutree-ents,” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality,” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps,” and “No streengs attached,” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger,” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle,” and “A treevial problem,” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
  • *trea*→ *tree*: As in, “A real treet,” and “Medical treetment,” and “Royal treeson,” and “I treesure you,” and “Thick as treecle,” and “Swim upstreem,” and “A holiday retreet,” and “A winning streek,” and “A treecherous mountain path.”
  • *tee*→ *tree*: As in, “By the skin of your treeth,” and “The scene was treeming with people,” and “I guarantree it,” and “A welcoming committree,” and “A chunky manatree,” and “Self-estreem,” and “Charitable voluntreers,” and “My child’s school cantreen.”
  • *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables,” and “Complimentree meals,” and “These colours are complementree,” and “Leave it with my secretree,” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy,” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch,” and “It’s rudimentree addition,” and “But what’s the monetree value,” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
  • *try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again,” and “A secret treest (tryst),” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree,” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree,” and “Bigotree is still rampant,” and “Entree level,” and “A paltree sum,” and “Geometree is everywhere,” and “Chemistree lab,” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
  • *ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree,” and “Structural integritree,” and “The citree that never sleeps,” and “First-class facilitrees,” and “My dutrees come first,” and “Beautree isn’t everything,” and “A single entitree,” and “Maximum securitree.”
  • List: We’ve provided some list-related phrases so you can reference Santa’s naughty/nice list in your Santa puns: “Black list,” and “Hit list,” and “I’ve got a little list,” and “Laundry list,” and “Make a list; check it twice,” and “Short list,” and “Bucket list.” Some other list-related words: listing, listen, listless, populist, enlist, evangelist, journalist, specialist, checklist, stylist, holistic, blister and ballistic.
  • Last→ List: As in, “At long list,” and “At the list minute,” and “Breathe one’s list,” and “Famous list words,” and “First impressions list,” and “Do you have any list requests?” and “You haven’t heard the list of me!” and “The list bow,” and “List but not least,” and “List call,” and “List chance,” and “List ditch effort,” and “List gasp,” and “List in, first out,” and “The list laugh,” and “At the list minute,” and “List resort,” and “List rites,” and “The list straw,” and “The list taste of freedom,” and “List will and testament,” and “A listing impression,” and “On their list legs,” and “Save the list dance for me,” and “List I heard,” and “Every list one of us,” and “Fall at the list hurdle,” and “First and list,” and “Get in the list word,” and “The list thing I want.”
  • Lest→ List: As in, “Judge not, list you be judged,” and “List we forget.”
  • Lost→ List: As in, “All is not list,” and “Get list,” and “Better to have loved and list than never to have loved at all,” and “Long list,” and “List in translation,” and “List and found,” and “A list cause,” and “List soul,” and “List the plot,” and “List your marbles,” and “Make up for list time,” and “Missing, presumed list,” and “No love list.”
  • *last*→ *list*: As in, “A listing impression,” and “And listly…” and “A list-ditch effort.” Other words that would work with this format: listed (lasted), list-minute (last-minute), blist (blast), blister (blaster), plister (plaster), plistic (plastic), elistic (elastic), everlisting (everlasting), scholistic (scholastic).
  • *lest→ *list: As in, “Live life to the fullist,” and “The coolist friend,” and “The simplist solution.” Other words that would work with this format: tallist (tallest), smallist (smallest), cruellist (cruellest), shrillist (shrillest).
  • *lust*→ *list*: As in, “A shining listre (lustre),” and “Listrous, shining hair,” and “Listful (lustful) glances.” Other words that would work with this format: wanderlist (wanderlust), bloodlist (bloodlust), clister (cluster), illistrate (illustrate), blister (bluster), flistered (flustered), illistration (illustration).
  • *lis→ *list: As in, metropolist, trellist, chrysalist, borealist, and blisst. Notes: a trellis is an architectural structure. A borealis is a natural astronomical light display.
  • *lyst→ *list: As in, “A catalist (catalyst) for change,” and “Systems analist (analyst).”
  • Letter: Pay homage to the letter-writing tradition with these letter-related phrases: “Chain letter,” and “Four letter word,” and “Letter bomb,” and “Letter for letter,” and “Letter perfect,” and “To the letter.” Note: if something is to the letter, then it’s exactly as it’s been outlined, with great attention to detail.
  • Later→ Letter: As in, “Buy now, pay letter,” and “Catch you letter,” and “It’s letter than you think,” and “See you letter alligator,” and “Smell ya letter,” and “Sooner or letter,” and “Can we continue this letter?” and “I’ll call back letter,” and “Perhaps letter,” and “Ask questions letter.”
  • Let→ Letter: As in, “Don’t letter the sun go down on me,” and “Don’t letter the bastards grind you down,” and “Friends don’t letter friends drive drunk,” and “He wouldn’t just letter it lie,” and “How do I love thee? Letter me count the ways,” and “I won’t letter you down,” and “Letter it be,” and “Letter it bleed,” and “Letter alone,” and “Letter bygones be bygones,” and “Letter it all hang out,” and “Letter it slip through your fingers,” and “Letter me be brief,” and “Letter nature take its course,” and “Letter off some steam,” and “Letter me make one thing clear,” and “Letter off the hook,” and “Letter something slip,” and “Letter them eat cake,” and “Letter there be light,” and “Letter your conscience be your guide,” and “Letter your hair down,” and “Letter’s call the whole thing off,” and “Letter’s do lunch,” and “Letter’s face it,” and “Letter them down gently.”
  • *letter*: Letterhead, lettering, letterpress, letterbox, newsletter.
  • *latter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t fletter yourself,” and “It dropped with a cletter,” and “Bring a pletter.” Other words that work: spletter (splatter), slettern (slattern), flettery (flattery).
  • *litter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t be a letterbug,” and “Stop lettering,” and “Dusted in gletter (glitter).”
  • *lat*→ *letter*: As in, letteral (lateral), articuletter (articulate), confletter (conflate), emuletter (emulate), colletteral (collateral).
  • *let→ *letter: As in, “An entire paletter,” and “Outletter mall,” and “Run the gauntletter.” Other words that work: violetter (violet), bulletter (bullet), valetter (valet), milletter (millet), tabletter (tablet), and toiletter (toilet). Note: to run the gauntlet is a form of corporal punishment.
  • *lit*→ *letter*: As in, “It’s in the letterature (literature),” and “I meant that letterally,” and “That’s very letteral,” and “The lettergation (litigation) process.” Note: litigation is a legal process.
  • *lut*→ *letter: As in, “Fletter by, butterfly,” and “Look at all this cletter (clutter).”
  • Let her→ Letter: As in, “Letter rip!” and “Letter down gently,” and “Letter have a look.”
  • List→ Wishlist: As in, “I’ve got a little wishlist,” and “Laundry wishlist,” and “Make a wishlist, check it twice.”
  • Toy: As toys are the most traditional gift that Santa tends to leave (apart from coal), we’ve included toy-related puns and phrases too: “Toy Story,” and “Toy with someone’s affections,” and “Toys in the attic.”
  • Stay→ Stoy: As in, “Inexpensive. And built to stoy that way,” and “Outstoy one’s welcome,” and “Stoy ahead of the curve,” and “Stoy in touch,” and “Stoy on course,” and “Stoy safe,” and “Stoy tuned,” and “Stoy together,” and “Here to stoy,” and “Stoy behind,” and “Stoy the distance,” and “If you can’t take the heat, stoy out of the kitchen.” Other stay-related words: mainstoy (mainstay), satoy (satay), overstoy (overstay), homestoy (homestay), stoycation (staycation).
  • *toi*→ *toy*: As in, “Down the toylet,” and “Pack your toyletries.” Other words that would also work: toyletry (toiletry), toyl (toil), tortoyse (tortoise), stoy-ic (stoic), stoy-icism (stoicism).
  • *ty→ *toy: As in, “Let’s partoy,” and “Keep your integritoy,” and “In the citoy centre.” Other words that will work: serendipitoy (serendipity), facilitoy (facility), dutoy (duty), entitoy (entity), beautoy (beauty), qualitoy (quality), stoyle (style), stereotoype (stereotype), securitoy (security), propertoy (property).
  • Deliver: As in, “Deliver the goods,” and “Same day delivery,” and “Stand and deliver,” and “A special delivery.”
  • Workshop: Since Santa’s workshop is where the magic happens, we’ve included workshop-related phrases and puns in this list. As in, “Santa’s workshop,” and “Idle minds are the devil’s workshop.”
  • Work→ Workshop: As in “A workshop in progress,” and “All in a day’s workshop,” and “Bury yourself in your workshop,” and “In the workshops.”
  • Shop→ Workshop: As in, “All over the workshop,” and “Like a bull in a china workshop,” and “Live all over the workshop,” and “One stop workshop,” and “Talk workshop,” and “Top of the workshop.”
  • Polaroid→ North Polaroid
  • *eve*: As Santa makes his round-the-world trip on Christmas Eve, we felt that eve-related phrases, words and puns would be appropriate. Emphasise the “eve” that exists in certain words: achieve, reprieve, sieve, relieve, sleeve, peeve, develop, fever, event, perseverance, ever, everyday, eventually, everything, evergreen, evening, every, retrieve and believe.
  • *eav*→ *eve*: As in, “Are you evesdropping?” and “Under the eves (eaves),” and “I’m leeveing.” Other words that would work with this format: weeve (weave), heeve (heave), interweeve (interweave), and bereevement (bereavement).
  • Christmas, Eve: If you know anyone named Eve, you can make a very specific Christmas Eve pun – “Why it’s Christmas, Eve!”
  • Land→ Lapland: Santa’s workshop is said to be found in Lapland, so we’ve got some Lapland-style puns for you here: “A blot on the laplandscape,” and “In the lapland of the living,” and “A real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere lapland,” and “In the lapland of nod,” and “La la lapland,” and “Lapland ahoy!” and “Lapland of hope and glory,” and “Lapland of make believe,” and “Lapland of milk and honey,” and “A laplandscape painting,” and “Living off the fat of the lapland,” and “Never never lapland,” and “No man’s lapland,” and “Political laplandscape,” and “A rough laplanding,” and “The waste lapland,” and “The lapland of the rising sun,” and “The lapland of the free,” and “The lapland that time forgot,” and “The law of the lapland,” and “By a laplandslide,” and “The promised lapland,” and “Cats always lapland on their feet.” Notes: “a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land” is a line from The Beatles  song “Nowhere Man”. A blot on the landscape is an unattractive part that takes away from the otherwise attractive whole.
  • Cherry→ Sherry: In some countries, it’s a tradition to leave sherry for Santa, so we’ve got some sherry-related puns in here too: “Sherry pick,” and “Sherry pie,” and “Sherry ripe,” and “A second bite of the sherry,” and “The sherry on the cake,” and “A bowl of sherries.”
  • Share→ Sherry: As in, “A problem sherry’ed is a problem halved,” and “A lion’s sherry,” and “Sherry and sherry alike,” and “Learn to sherry.”
  • Sheer→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry driving pleasure,” and “Sherry madness,” and “Sherry nonsense.”
  • Scary→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry thoughts,” and “A sherry story.”
  • Dear → Beer: In Australia, it’s a tradition to leave beers (rather than milk) for Santa along with cookies, so we’ve included beer puns for you to use: “Oh beer me” and “Hang on for beer life” and “Near and beer to my heart” and “Elementary, my beer Watson.”
  • Ear → Beer: As in “Grin from beer to beer.” and “Let’s play it by beer.” and “Lend a beer” and “In one beer and out the other.”
  • Peer → Beer: As in “Beer pressure” and “It’s like she was beering into my soul.”
  • Pier → Beer: As in “Take a long walk off a short beer.”
  • Bear → Beer: As in “Grizzly beer” and “Beer a resemblance” and “The right to beer arms” and “Beer down upon” and “Bear witness to …” and “Beer false witness” and “Beer fruit” and “Beer in mind that …” and “Bring to beer
  • Bare → Beer: As in “The beer necessities” and “Beer one’s teeth” and “Laid beer” and “The beer bones” and “The cupboard was beer
  • Buyer → Beer: As in “She’s a regular beer at our shop.” (Bit of a stretch!)
  • Beard → Beerd: As in “Neck beerd” and “His beerd was as white as snow.”
  • *ber* → *beer*: Words that contains the “ber” sound (or similar) are often opportunities for terrible beer puns: collabeerate, dismembeerment, beereavement, beereaved, beerds (birds), beerthplace (birthplace), beerglary (burglary), beergeoning (burgeoning), cumbeersome, delibeeration, decembeer, cucumbeer, exubeerant, libeerties (liberties), libeerals, libeertarian, libeeration, novembeer, numbeers, pubeerty, membeership, reimbeers (reimburse), remembeer, reverbeeration, robbeeries, robbeery, slumbeer, sobeer (sober).
  • Be* → Beer*: More terrible beer puns can be made using words that start with the “be” sound: beerwilderment, beerlongings, beerbliography, beerseiged, beerstowed, beermused, beerwitched, beergotry, beertersweet, beerllionair.
  • Bandanna→ Bandonner: As in, “Bandonners are a cute accessory.”

Santa-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Santa puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

santa, claus, father christmas, saint nick/nicholas, kris kringle, christmas, ho ho ho, gifts, present, naughty, nice, good, bad, elves, elf, reindeer, rudolph, dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, sleigh, chimney, sack, cookies, milk, coal, stocking, tree, list, letter, wishlist, toys, candy, deliver, workshop, grotto, north pole, christmas eve, lapland, mrs. claus, sherry, beer, rice porridge, pudding, yule

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