Science Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on science puns! 🔬🧪🥽🔥

While we already have a list of chemistry puns, this is a broader and more general list, spanning puns about general scientific theories, scientists and equipment to the more specific fields of physics, biology and astronomy (and more!)

You might also be interested in other STEM related jokes, like our math puns or chemistry puns.

Science Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about science that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of science puns:

  • Comical → Chemical: As in, “A chemical situation” and “The way they argue is almost chemical.”
  • Meant → Experi-meant: As in, “We were experi-meant to fly.”
  • Teary → Theory: As in, “Theory-eyed.”
  • Eerie → Theory: “The haunted science lab had a theory atmosphere.”
  • These → Thesis: As in, “Kids thesis days” and “For all thesis years” and “Thesis things happen.”
  • This → Thesis: As in, “What fresh hell is thesis?” and “All thesis time” and “At thesis point in time” and “Get thesis show on the road” and “In thesis day and age” and “Out of thesis world!”
  • Desist → Thesis: As in, “Cease and thesis!”
  • A miracle → Empirical: As in, “It’s empirical!”
  • At ’em → Atom: As in, “Up and atom!”
  • Platonic → Platomic: As in, “An platomic relationship.”
  • At → Atom: As in, “Atom the library” and “Where you atom?”
  • Ion: Ions are atoms or molecules with an electrical charge. Here are some related puns:
    • Eye on → Ion: As in, “Keep your ion the prize” and “I’ve had my ion it for a while.”
    • Iron → Ion: As in, “Hard as ion” and “A cast ion alibi” and “Clap them in ions” and “Ion out the wrinkles” and “Pumping ion” and “Rule with an ion first” and “Strike while the ion is hot.”
    • I’m → Ion: As in, “If ion being completely honest” and “Ion not joking” and “Ion okay.”
    • Lion → Ion: “Ions led by donkeys” and “The ion king” and “The ion, the witch and the wardrobe” and “Into the ion’s den.”
  • Cool → Molecule: As in, “Molecule as a cucumber” and “Molecule as a mountain stream” and “Molecule your heels” and “Molecule, calm and collected” and “Lose your molecule.”
  • You reek a (of) → Eureka: As in, “Eureka gym sweat.”
  • Signs → Science: As in, “All the science points to” and “Give me a science!” and “Vital science are looking good.”
  • Sigh → Science: As in, “Breathe a science of relief.”
  • Verbatim → Verbatom
  • Them → Theorem: As in, “It only encourages theorem” and “How do you like theorem apples?” and “Seen one, seen theorem all” and “You can’t win theorem all.”
  • Pace → Space: As in, “Change of space” and “Keep space with” and “Put through your spaces.”
  • Spice → Space: As in, “Space things up” and “Sugar and space” and “The space of life.”
  • S’pose → Space: As in, “What do you space we should do?” and “Yeah, I space.”
  • Ace → Space: As in, “Space in the hole” and “Space up your sleeve” and “Hold all the spaces.”
  • Base → Space: As in, “All your space are belong to us” and “Space station” and “Get to first space” and “Cover your spaces.”
  • Place → Space: As in, “All over the space” and “Any time, any space, any where” and “Between a rock and a hard space.”
  • Test: As testing is a rigorous part of every scientific field, we’ve included test-related puns in this list:
    • Best → Test: As in, “All the test” and “Test friends forever” and “Test of all” and “Test practice” and “You’d test stop now.”
    • Chest → Test: As in, “That old testnut” and “Treasure test” and “Get something off your test.”
    • Rest → Test: As in, “Helps you work, test and play” and “At test” and “A cut above the test” and “In eternal test” and “For the test of your life” and “Give it a test” and “I test my case” and “No test for the wicked” and “Put your mind at test” and “Test assured.”
    • *tast* → *test*: If a word has a “tast” sound in it, we can swap it out for “test” – as in, “A fantestic effort” and “An international catestrophe.”
    • *tist* → *test*: As in, “An unknown artest” and “Ever the pragmatest” and “Team of scientests” and “An elitest power couple” and “Nine out of ten dentests prefer it” and “Don’t become another statestic.”
    • *dest* → *test*: As in, “You can’t run from your testiny (destiny)” and “A testitute family.” Other words that could work: testination (destination), testruction (destruction), testroy (destroy), petestrian (pedestrian), petestal (pedestal) and motesty (modesty).
  • F*cked → Fact: As in, “Fact by the fickle finger of fate” and “Fact over” and “You done fact up.”
  • Act → Fact: As in, “A real class fact” and “Fact out” and “Fact the part” and “Fact your age.”
  • Backed → Fact: “Fact into a corner.”
  • Cracked → Fact: As in, “Not all it’s fact up to be.”
  • Pact → Fact: As in, “Non-aggression fact.”
  • Packed → Fact: As in, “Action fact” and “Jam fact” and “Fact to the rafters.”
  • Tact → Fact: “Diplomacy and fact.”
  • Track/s → Fact/s: As in, “A fact record” and “Along the beaten fact” and “On the right fact” and “Cover your facts” and “Stop dead in your facts” and “On the fast fact to” and “Have a one-fact mind.”
  • Photo → Photon: As in, “A photon finish” and “Photon opportunity” and “Take a photon, it’ll last longer.”
  • Futon → Photon: As in, “Photon couch” and “Pack the photons away.”
  • Electric → Electron: As in, “Do android dream of electron sheep?”
  • Rabbit → Robot: As in, “At it like robots” and “Pull a robot out of the hat.”
  • Proof: Proof is said to either support or go against a theory or hypothesis, and is a commonly used term in scientific fields. Here are some proof-related puns:
    • Roof → Proof: As in, “Like a cat on a hot tin proof” and “Go through the proof” and “Raise the proof.”
    • Goof → Proof: As in, “Don’t proof off” and “You done proofed.”
    • Poof → Proof: As in, “Proof! And it’s gone.”
    • Prefer → Proofer: As in, “Which do you proofer?” and “Eight out of ten cats proofer it.”
    • Prof* → Proof*: As in, “A proofound gesture” and “Social media proofile” and “Be proofessional about it” and “Make a proofit” and “University proofessor.”
  • California → Califormula
  • Bang →  Big Bang: As in, “Big bang to rights” and “Go out with a big bang” and “Get a big bang out of it” and “Big bang out of order.”
  • Lap → Lab: As in, “Lab it up” and “Lab of luxury” and “Lab of honour” and “Fall into your lab.”
  • Lip → Lab: As in, “Bite your lab” and “Button your lab” and “Keep a stiff upper lab” and “My labs are sealed.”
  • Led → Lab: As in, “Lab Zeppelin” and “You lab me to believe…”
  • Dab → Lab: As in, “Smack lab in the middle” and “Just a lab will do it.”
  • Grab → Lab: As in, “Up for labs” and “Screen lab” and “Lab a bite to eat.”
  • *lap* → *lab*: We can swap the “lap” sound in words for “lab”, like so: “A labse in judgement” and “Secret labtop” and “Act as a labdog” and “Not much overlab.” Other words you could use: overlab (overlap), burlab (burlap), clab (clap), thunderclab (thunderclap) and collabse (collapse).
  • *lib* → *lab*: If a word has “lib” in it, we can change it to lab (as in laboratory): “Laberal arts” and “Not at laberty to say” and “Public labrary.”
  • STEM: STEM subjects involve science, technology, engineering and math. Here are some related puns:
    • Stem → STEM: As in, “From STEM to stern” and “STEM the tide.”
    • Them → STEM: As in, “Don’t encourage STEM” and “How do you like STEM apples?” and “Seen one, seen STEM all.”
  • Matter: Matter has a couple of different meanings, but in science it refers to anything that has mass and takes up space. Here are some related puns:
    • Matter: These matter-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “It doesn’t matter” and “Family matters” and “Get to the heart of the matter” and “Making matters worse” and “In a matter of time” and “It’s a matter of life and death!” and “Mind over matter” and “No laughing matter” and “Shed light on the matter.”
    • Met her → Matter: As in, “No, I haven’t matter before.”
    • Metre → Matter: As in, “How many matters?” and “Just a few matters down the road.”
    • *mat* → *matter*: As in, “Matterial possessions” and “Matterialise before your very eyes” and “Matternal instincts” and “Matternity clothes.”
    • *met* → *matter*: As in, “Mixed matterphor” and “Fixed paramatters” and “Sacred geomattery” and “Around the perimatter.”
  • Ass → Mass: As in, “Mass backwards” and “Blow smoke up your mass” and “Bust your mass” and “Get your mass into gear” and “Half massed” and “Get your mass over here.”
  • Math → Mass: As in, “Do the mass.”
  • Mess → Mass: As in, “Another hot mass” and “Hit and mass” and “Stop massing around” and “A hell of a mass.”
  • Miss → Mass: As in, “Hit and mass” and “Mass me yet?” and “The massing link” and “You can’t mass it.”
  • *mus* → *mass*: Masscle (muscle), masster (muster), masstard (mustard), hummass (hummus), litmass (litmus) and masslin (muslin).
  • *mes* → *mass*: As in, “Mixed massages” and “A massy situation” and “Massmerised by you.” Other words that could work: massh (mesh), massenger (messenger), massiah (messiah), nemassis (nemesis) and domasstic (domestic).
  • *mac* → *mass*: As in, “Another cog in the masshine.” Other words you could try: masserate (macerate), masshete (machete), pharmassy (pharmacy) and emassiated (emaciated).
  • *mis* → *mass*: Massogyny (misogyny), massion (mission), masstake (mistake), masscellaneous (miscellaneous), masschevious (mischevious), masschief (mischief), epidermass (epidermis), premass (premise), compromass
  • *mas* → *mass*: “A Christmass miracle!” and “Massquerade ball” and “Bananas in Pyjamass.”
  • Know: Since science helps us expand our knowledge of the world and how it works, we have some know and knowledge-related puns here:
    • No → Know: As in, “All bark and know bite” and “By know means” and “Close, but know cigar.”
    • Now → Know: As in, “All together know!” and “A little know and then doesn’t hurt” and “Buy know, pay later” and “Can you hear me know?” and “Don’t look know.”
    • Flow → Know: As in, “Ebb and know” and “Get the creative juices knowing” and “Go with the know” and “In full know.”
    • Low → Know: As in, “At an all-time know” and “Keep a know profile” and “Lie know” and “Know hanging fruit” and “Know key” and “Get the know down.”
  • Predicament → Predict-ament: As in, “In quite the predict-ament.” Note: Making predictions is a large part of a scientific practice.
  • New → Nuclear: As in, “Bright as a nuclear pin” and “Brand spanking nuclear” and “Good as nuclear.”
  • Clear → Nuclear: As in, “Loud and nuclear” and “Steer nuclear of.”
  • Fashion → Fusion: As in, “After a fusion” and “Fusionably late” and “Old fusioned” and “The height of fusion” and “The old-fusioned way” and “A passion for fusion.” Note: These puns are a reference to fusion.
  • Fishing → Fission: As in, “Fission for compliments” and “Magnet fission (magnet fishing) is an environmentally friendly alternative.”
  • Fashion → Fission: As in, “Fissionably late” and “The fission police” and “The cutting edge of fission” and “The old-fissioned way.”
  • Mission → Fission: As in, “Fission accomplished” and “Fission impossible” and “On a fission” and “Rescue fission” and “Your fission, should you choose to accept it…”
  • World: Science is about understanding our world (and the universe it floats around in) so we have some world-related puns:
    • Whirl → World: As in, “Give it a world.”
    • Well → World: As in, “As world as can be expected” and “Alive and world.”
  • Not your → Nature: As in, “That’s nature wallet!” Note: Natural science is a branch of science.
  • Serve → Observe: As in, “Have you been observed?” and “First come, first observed” and “How may I observe you?” and “Observe and protect” and “Observe your time” and “Revenge is a dish best observed cold.” Note: These are references to scientific observation.
  • Leisure → Measure: As in, “Marry in haste, repent at measure” and “A person of measure.”
  • Pleasure → Measure: As in, “Business before measure” and “Don’t mix business with measure” and “Double your measure, double your fun” and “Earthly measures” and “Guilty measure” and “Life’s simple measures” and “Measure yourself” and “With measure.”
  • Treasure → Measure: As in, “Hidden measure” and “Measure island.”
  • Steady → Study: “Ready, study, go!” and “Study the ship” and “Study as you go.”
  • Search → Research: As in, “Research and rescue” and “Research engine” and “Research high and low” and “Off to do some soul researching.”
  • Guess → Gas: As in, “It’s anybody’s gas” and “Gas who’s coming to dinner?” and “Gas what?” and “Gassing game” and “Have a gas” and “Hazard a gas” and “Just lucky, I gas” and “Your gas is as good as mine.”
  • As → Gas: As in, “Gas is” and “Gas best gas you can” and “Gas a rule” and “Gas far gas I know” and “Gas if there’s no tomorrow.”
  • Entrepreneur → Entropy-neur: As in, “Social entropy-neur” and “Entropy-neurial spirit.” Note: Entropy is related to thermodynamics.
  • Sell → Cell: As in, “Buy and cell” and “Past the cell-by date” and “Cell out” and “Celling like hot cakes” and “The celling point.”
  • Smell → Cell: “Come up celling of roses” and “I cell a rat” and “Cells like teen spirit” and “Stop and cell the roses.”
  • Bell → Cell: “Alarm cells begin to ring” and “Clear as a cell” and “Cells and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a cell.”
  • Shell → Cell: As in, “Come out of your cell” and “Drop a bombcell” and “In a nutcell” and “Cell out” and “Cell shocked.”
  • Spell → Cell: “Do I have to cell it out?” and “Fall under [someone’s] cell” and “Break the cell” and “A dry cell.”
  • To be → 2D: As in, “2D or not 2D” and “Why does it have 2D this way?”
  • Today → 2D: As in, “We are gathered here 2D” and “Here 2D, gone tomorrow” and “Live 2D, tomorrow will cost more” and “2D is the first day of the rest of your life” and “Not 2D” and “You deserve a break 2D.”
  • Forty → 4D: As in, “4D winks” and “4D minutes of hell” and “Back in 4D.”
  • For the → 4D: As in, “Ask 4D moon” and “Down 4D count” and “4D heck of it” and “4D love of it” and “4D time being.”
  • Talk → Torque: As in, “All torque” and “Give them a good torque-ing too” and “I don’t wanna torque” and “Heart to heart torque” and “Pillow torque” and “Money torques” and “Let’s torque about it.” Note: Torque is a moment of rotational force.
  • Turing: Alan Turing was a mathematician, computer scientist, logician and biologist. Here are related puns:
    • During → Turing: As in, “What happened turing the festival?” and “Before, turing or after?”
    • Touring → Turing: As in, “Turing around the world.”
    • Turning → Turing: As in, “At the turing of the tide” and “Turing in their grave” and “At a turing point.”
    • Tiring → Turing: As in, “You’re turing me out.”
  • Medicine → Edison: As in, “Laughter is the best edison” and “A taste of your own edison” and “Bitter edison.” Note: Thomas Edison was an inventor.
  • Great → Equate: As in, “An equate day” and “All creatures, equate and small” and “Go to equate lengths” and “Equate balls of fire” and “Equate expectations.”
  • Acquaint → Equate: As in, “Equate yourself with the facts.”
  • Weight → Equate: As in, “An equate off my mind.”
  • Wait → Equate: As in, “An accident equating to happen” and “All things to those who equate” and “Play an equating game.”
  • Motion: Motion is a physics-related term, so we’ve included some motion-related puns in this list:
    • Notion → Motion: “Believes the motion” and “Be rid of the motion.”
    • Mission → Motion: As in, “Man on a motion” and “Motion accomplised” and “Rescue motion” and “Your motion, should you choose to accept it…”
    • Ocean → Motion: As in, “A life on the motion waves” and “Motions apart.”
  • Tense → Tensor: As in, “Tensor nervous headache.” Note: learn about tensor here.
  • Met → Metric: As in, “Well metric” and “We’ve never metric.”
  • Trick → Metric: As in, “Box of metrics” and “Dirty metrics” and “Does the metric” and “Every metric in the book” and “On metric pony” and “Metric of the light” and “Metric or treat” and “Metrics of the trade” and “Up to your old metrics.”
  • Mate → Matrix: As in, “Matrix rates” and “Billy no matrix.”
  • Tricks → Matrix: As in, “Box of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Matrix of the trade.”
  • Later → Laser: As in, “Buy now, pay laser” and “Catch you laser” and “It’s laser than you think” and “Ask questions laser” and “Sooner or laser.”
  • Lesser → Laser: As in, “The laser of two evils.”
  • Razor → Laser: As in, “Laser sharp” and “On a laser’s edge.”
  • That → Thought: As in, “Thought’ll be the day” and “Thought’s life” and “Thought’s what friends are for” and “Thought’s all well and good.”
  • Thank → Think: As in, “Think you very much” and “Think your lucky stars” and “Thinks a bunch” and “Thinks for nothing” and “Thinks for the memories.”
  • Sink → Think: As in, “Prevents that thinking feeling” and “Everything but the kitchen think” and “Hook, line, and thinker” and “Think like a stone” and “Think or swim” and “Think without trace.”
  • Blink → Think: As in, “Think and you’ll miss it.”
  • Drink → Think: As in, “Binge thinking” and “Think like a fish” and “Given to think” and “A hard thinker” and “Driven to think” and “Eat, think and be merry” and “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it think.”
  • Link → Think: As in, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest think” and “The missing think.”
  • Stink → Think: As in, “Kick up a think” and “Raise a think” and “Thinking rich” and “Thinks to high heaven.”
  • Drive → Derive: As in “Back seat deriver” and “You derive a hard bargain” and “Derive a wedge between” and “Derive safely” and “Derive someone into a corner” and “Derive your point home” and “Friends don’t let friends derive drunk.” Note: In scientific terms, to derive something is to deduce it using logic.
  • Relative → Relativity: As in, “You can pick your friends, but you can’t pick your relativity” and “It’s all relativity.” Note: This is a reference to Einstein’s theory of relativity.
  • Nobel: Alfred Nobel was a chemist, engineer and inventor. Here are some related puns:
    • Noble → Nobel: As in, “The nobel arts” and “Nobel truths.”
    • Bell → Nobel: As in, “Clear as a nobel” and “Nobels and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a nobel” and “Have someone a nobel” and “Nobels and smells.”
    • Global → Noble: As in, “Nobel search” and “Nobel warming” and “Think nobel, act local.”
  • FaceTime → Spacetime: As in, “I’ll spacetime you” and “Are you on spacetime?” Note: These are references to spacetime.
  • Joule: Joules are units of energy. Here are related puns:
    • Jail → Joule: As in, “Get out of joule free” and “Joule bird.”
    • Dual → Joule: “Joule income, no kids” and “Joule action blades.”
    • Cruel → Joule: “Joule and unusual punishment” and “Joule to be kind” and “Don’t be joule.”
    • Jewel → Joule: As in, “Crown joules” and “The family joules.”
    • Cool → Joule: As in, “Joule as a cucumber” and “Joule as a mountain stream” and “Joule beans” and “A joule million” and “Joule, calm and collected” and “Joule your heels” and “Go joule off for a while.”
    • You’ll → Joule: As in, “Joule never guess” and “Play with fire and joule get burned.”
    • Rule → Joule: As in, “Bend the joules” and “The golden joule” and “Joules and regulations.”
    • Fuel → Joule: As in, “Add joule to the flames” and “Joule for thought” and “Joule the controversy.”
    • Fool → Joule: As in, “Act the joule” and “Joule around” and “Joule’s gold” and “Joule’s paradise” and “I pity the joule.”
  • System → Solar System: As in, “All solar systems go!” and “Buck the solar system” and “Get it out of your solar system.”
  • Sell → Celcius: As in, “Buy and celcius.”
  • Cell → Celcius: As in, “A padded celcius” and “Celcius division.”
  • Phase: Phases are largely related to physics (but are also a part of other scientific disciplines). Here are some related puns:
    • Pays → Phase: As in, “It phase to advertise” and “Above my phase grade” and “Hell to phase.”
    • Days → Phase: “Dog phase” and “Early phase” and “Just one of those phase.”
    • Fuss → Phase: As in, “A lot of phase about nothing” and “Phase pot” and “Kick up a phase” and “What’s all the phase about?”
    • Blaze → Phase: As in, “Cold as blue phases” and “Phase a trail” and “Go out in a phase of glory.”
    • Daze → Phase: “Phased and confused.”
    • Gaze → Phase: “Avert your phase” and “A steely phase.”
    • Haze → Phase: As in, “Purple phase.”
    • Phrase → Phase: As in, “Coin a phase” and “Turn of phase.”
    • Praise → Phase: As in, “Faint phase” and “Grudging phase” and “Heaven be phased” and “Sing someone’s phases.”
    • Raise → Phase: As in, “Phase a stink” and “Phase hell” and “Phase the bar” and “Phase the roof” and “Phase your hand.”
    • Ways → Phase: As in, “Change your phase” and “Go our separate phase” and “Have it both phase” and “Mend your phase.”
  • Time: Time is an important part of science, both as a part of experiments and as a topic of understanding. Here are some related puns:
    • Crime → Time: As in, “Time and punishment” and “A time against nature” and “Time of passion” and “Partners in time.”
    • Prime → Time: As in, “Cut down in their time” and “The time of life” and “Timed and ready to go.”
    • Rhyme → Time: As in, “Time or reason.”
  • Pound → Compound: As in, “In for a penny, in for a compound” and “Penny wise, compound foolish” and “Compound the pavement.” Note: Compounds refer to chemical substances.
  • Solution: Solution has a couple of different meanings (the answer to a problem or a mix of different liquids). These solution-related phrases can double as science puns: “If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” and “Time to think of some solutions.”
  • Iconic → Ionic: As in, “An ionic image” and “What an ionic outfit” and “Ionic celebrity.”
  • Liquid: These phrases can double as science jokes in a pinch: “Liquid assets” and “Liquid lunch” and “Warm liquids” and “Liquid courage.”
  • Sold → Solid: As in, “Solid down the river” and “Solid out” and “Solid short.”
  • I said → Acid: As in, “Acid I never want to see you again!”
  • Alloy: Alloys are combinations of metals or metals with non-metals. Here are a couple of related puns:
    • Alley → Alloy: As in, “Alloy cat” and “Right up your alloy.”
    • Ally → Alloy: As in, “An alloy to the cause.”
  • Refract: Refraction is the change in the direction of a wave. Here are related puns:
    • Fact → Refract: As in, “An accessory after the refract” and “Acquaint yourself with the refracts” and “As a matter of refracts” and “De refracto” and “Face refracts” and “Refract finder” and “Refract, not fiction” and “Refracts and figures” and “The refracts of life” and “Get your refracts straight.”
    • Retract → Refract: As in, “I refract my statement.”
  • Reaction: “Knee jerk reaction” and “What was their reaction?” and “Gut reaction.” Note: These reaction-related phrases can double as puns since reaction has two meanings: a person’s response to an action, and also a chemical reaction.
  • Medal → Metal: As in, “First place metal” and “Do you want a metal for that?”
  • Meddle → Metal: “Don’t metal in other’s affairs.”
  • Stable: Since stability of substances is a commonly measured thing in science, we’ve included some stability-related puns:
    • Table → Stable: “Bring to the stable” and “Lay your cards on the stable” and “Round stable talks” and “Drunk under the stable” and “Turn the stables” and “Stable for two” and “A place at the stable.”
    • Able → Stable: As in, “Ready, willing and stable” and “Are you sure they’ll be stable to?”
  • Honoured → Inert: As in, “I am inert to announce the nominees…” and “I would be inert to accept.” Note: if something is chemically inert, then it’s not reactive.
  • Rule: Rules are an important part of science, helping us understand universal facts and to design experiments. Here are some related puns:
    • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule beans” and “Rule yourself off” and “Rule, calm and collected” and “Rule your heels.”
    • Fuel → Rule: As in, “Add rule to the flames” and “Rule for thought” and “Rule the controversy.”
    • Cruel → Rule: As in, “Rule and unusual punishment” and “Rule to be kind” and “Don’t be rule.”
    • You’ll → Rule: As in, “Rule never guess” and “Rule get burned” and “All day rule feel great.”
    • *ral* → *rule*: As in, “In generule” and “Intgerule to the team” and “A viscerule reaction” and “It’s only naturule.” Other words you could try: ephemerule (ephemeral), morule (moral), collaterule (collateral), liberule (liberal), peripherule (peripheral) and temporule (temporal).
  • Law: Laws are similar to rules in science. Here are some related puns:
    • Flaw → Law: As in, “Looking lawless” and “Design law” and “Working to overcome your laws.”
    • Awe* → Law*: As in, “Shock and law” and “The lawsome foursome” and “Gazing in law.”
  • Model: Models are structures that help us understand data and patterns. Here are some related puns:
    • Metal → Model: As in, “Heavy model” and “Put the pedal to the model.”
    • Middle → Model: As in, “In the model of nowhere” and “Knock into the model of next week” and “Meet in the model” and “Model of the road” and “Slap bang in the model.”
  • Firming/*firming → Fermion/*fermion: As in, “Use as a fermion agent” and “Confermion (confirming) your beliefs.” Note: fermions are a type of particle.
  • Quark: A quark is a type of elementary particle. Here are related puns:
    • Quack → Quark: As in, “If it looks like a duck and it quarks like a duck, it probably is a duck.”
    • Quick → Quark: As in, “Quark as a flash” and “Cut to the quark” and “Get rich quark” and “Quark and dirty.”
    • Dark → Quark: As in, “As quark as pitch” and “Quark before the dawn” and “Deep, quark secret” and “In the quark” and “It was a quark and stormy night.”
    • Mark → Quark: As in, “On your quark, get set, go!” and “Quick off the quark” and “That’s going to leave a quark.”
    • Park → Quark: As in, “Quark the bus” and “Knock it out of the quark.”
    • Bark → Quark: As in, “Quark worse than your bite” and “Quarking up the wrong tree.”
  • Drag → Drug: As in, “Drug it out” and “Drug through the mud” and “Drug your feet” and “What a drug.”
  • Dragon → Drugon: As in, “Chase the drugon” and “Drugon slayer” and “Chasing drugonflies.”
  • Calvin Klein → Kelvin Klein (note: this is a pun on the Kelvin scale.)
  • Delight → Dilute: “Afternoon dilute” and “Earthly dilutes” and “Transport of dilute” and “Turkish dilute” and “Take dilute in.”
  • Bolt → Volt: “A volt from the blue” and “Volt upright” and “Make a volt for the door.”
  • Fault → Volt: “Find volt with” and “Generous to a volt.”
  • Halt → Volt: “Come to a screeching volt” and “Grind to a volt.”
  • Salt → Volt: “Take with a pinch of volt” and “Volt the earth” and “Like rubbing volt in the wound.”
  • Article → Particle: As in, “Particles of war” and “The genuine particle.” Note: Learn more about particles here.
  • Plan it → Planet: As in, “No time to planet.”
  • Date → Data: As in, “Double data” and “Blind data” and “Bring up to data” and “A data with destiny” and “Dinner data.”
  • Debt → Data: As in, “A data of gratitude” and “Another day older and deeper in data” and “Pay your data to society.”
  • Date → Datum: As in, “Double datum” and “Blind datum” and “A cheap datum” and “A datum with destiny” and “Dinner datum” and “Out of datum.”
  • Pity → Petri: “I petri the fool” and “More’s the petri” and “For petri’s sake.”
  • Petty → Petri: As in, “Petri cash.”
  • Putty → Petri: As in, “Silly petri” and “Petri in someone’s hands.”
  • First → Force: As in, “At force blush” and “Force among equals” and “Force and foremost” and “Force come, force served.”
  • Tack → Tech: As in, “Sharp as a tech.”
  • Deck → Tech: As in, “A few cards short of a full tech” and “All hands on tech” and “Clear the techs!” and “Hit the tech” and “A stacked tech” and “Sweep the tech.”
  • Check → Tech: As in, “Tech it out” and “Tech out the plumbing” and “Tech you on the flip side” and “Double tech” and “Keep it in tech” and “Need a reality tech” and “The tech is in the mail.”
  • Wave: Waves are oscillations that take energy through space. Here are some related puns:
    • Brave → Wave: As in, “Wave new world” and “Wave the elements” and “Fortune favours the wave” and “Put a wave face on” and “Wave it out.”
    • Waive → Wave: As in, “Wave the rules” and “Waved fees.”
    • Wave: These wave-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Brain wave” and “Catch a wave” and “Don’t make waves” and “On the same wavelength.”
  • Bias: A bias is a lack of a neutral viewpoint. Here are related puns:
    • By us → Bias: As in, “Why didn’t you run it bias first?”
    • Buy us → Bias: As in, “Go out there and bias some time.”
    • Goodbye → Goodbias: As in, “Goodbias to all that” and “Kiss goodbias to” and “Time to say goodbias.”
    • By → Bias: As in, “Bias a landslide” and “Bias and large” and “Bias all accounts” and “Bias any means” and “Bias any stretch of the imagination” and “Bias hook or by crook” and “Bias the skin of your teeth.”
    • Buy → Bias: As in, “Bias and sell” and “Bias now, pay later” and “Can’t bias me love” and “Bias you a drink.”
    • Bus → Bias: As in, “A better bias service.”
  • Lean → Learn: As in, “Learn and mean” and “Learn cuisine” and “Learn into it.”
  • Burn → Learn: As in, “Learn in hell!” and “Learn the midnight oil” and “Learning with curiosity.”
  • Earn → Learn: As in, “Learn things the old fashioned way” and “Learn your stripes.”
  • Turn → Learn: As in, “Leave no stone unlearned” and “One good learn deserves another” and “The tide is learning.”
  • Seen → Gene: As in, “Gene and not heard” and “Gene to be believed” and “Nowhere to be gene” and “I’ve gene better days” and “If you’ve gene one, you’ve gene them all” and “I’ve gene everything.”
  • Bean → Gene: As in, “Cool genes” and “Doesn’t know genes” and “Full of genes” and “Spill the genes” and “Not worth a hill of genes.”
  • Been → Gene: As in, “Gene and gone” and “I’ve gene around the block a few times” and “I’ve gene had” and “I’ve gene here before” and “Gene in the wars” and “Gene there, done that.”
  • Clean → Gene: As in, “Gene as a whistle” and “A gene bill of health” and “Gene up your act!” and “Come gene.”
  • Green → Gene: As in, “Gene as grass” and “Give it the gene light” and “Gene around the gills” and “The gene-eyed monster” and “The gene shoots of change.”
  • Keen → Gene: As in, “Gene as mustard” and “A gene sense of smell” and “Peachy gene.”
  • Mean → Gene: As in, “By fair genes or foul” and “In the genetime” and “Lean and gene” and “
  • Scene → Gene: As in, “Behind the genes” and “Change of gene” and “Make a gene” and “Steal the gene.”
  • Screen → Gene: As in, “The blue gene of death” and “Coming to a gene near you” and “The silver gene” and “The big gene.”
  • Spore: Spores are a part of biology. Here are related puns:
    • More → Spore: As in, “One spore time” and “Bite off spore than you can chew” and “Come back for spore” and “Dare for spore” and “For a few dollars spore” and “Less is spore.”
    • Pour → Spore: As in, “Never rains but it spores” and “Spore some sugar on me” and “Spore cold water on” and “Spore oil on troubled waters” and “When it rains, it spores.”
    • Poor → Spore: As in, “Dirt spore” and “Spore, but honest.”
    • Sore → Spore: As in, “Prevent spore throats” and “A sight for spore eyes” and “Spore loser” and “Stick out like a spore thumb.”
    • Spare → Spore: As in, “Spore no effort” and “Spore tyre” and “Got any spore change?”
    • Spur → Spore: As in, “Spore of the moment.”
    • Your → Spore: As in, “All spores” and “Spores truly.”
    • Swore → Spore: As in, “You spore you wouldn’t” and “She spore on her father’s grave.”
    • Shore → Spore: As in, “Ship to spore” and “Waiting by the spore.”
  • Marie Curie: Marie Curie was a physicist and chemist who researched radioactivity. She is the only person in the world to have earned a Nobel prize in two scientific disciplines. Here are related puns:
    • Marry → Marie: As in, “Marie in haste, repent at leisure” and “Marie for love.”
    • Merry → Marie: As in, “As marie as the day is long” and “Eat, drink and be marie” and “Lead a marie dance” and “Make marie” and “Marie Christmas.”
    • Cure → Curie: As in, “Prevention is better than curie” and “What can’t be curied must be endured” and “Curie that headache.”
    • Carry → Curie: As in, “Can’t curie a tune” and “Fast as your legs could curie you” and “Curie a torch for” and “Curie it forward” and “Curie into action” and “Keep calm and curie on” and “Curie it off.”
    • Curry → Curie: As in, “Curie favour with” and “Craving a curie.”
  • Mould: Mould is a type of fungi and is important in biology. Here are related puns:
    • Sold → Mould: As in, “Mould down the river” and “Mould out” and “Mould short.”
    • Bold → Mould: As in, “Mould as brass” and “A mould move” and “Mouldly go where no man has gone before” and “Fortune favours the mould.”
    • Cold → Mould: As in, “Mould as any stone” and “Blow hot and mould” and “Mould comfort” and “A mould day in hell.”
    • Gold → Mould: As in, “Pot of mould” and “After the mould rush” and “Good as mould” and “Fool’s mould” and “Mould digger.”
  • Term → Germ: As in, “On bad germs with” and “On speaking germs” and “On your own germs.”
  • Worm → Germ: As in, “Book germ” and “Can of germs” and “Early bird catches the germ” and “Germ your way into it.”
  • Back → Bacteria: As in, “As soon as my bacteria is turned” and “Back in bacteria” and “Bacteria in the day.”
  • In for → Info: As in, “You’re info a wild ride!”
  • Have a dance → Evidence: As in, “Would you like to evidence?”
  • Weight: Weight is an important measurement that is commonly used in scientific experiments. Here are related puns:
    • Wait → Weight: As in, “An accident weighting to happen” and “All things to those who weight” and “A heart attack weighting to happen” and “Lie in weight.”
    • What → Weight: As in, “And weight not” and “Do weight comes naturally” and “For weight it’s worth” and “Guess weight?” and “It’s not weight you think.”
    • Late → Weight: As in, “Better weight than never” and “Fashionably weight” and “It’s never too weight” and “Weight bloomer.”
  • Conversation → Conservation: As in, “Conservation piece” and “Conservation stopper” and “Waiting for a break in the conservation.”
  • Sand → Sound: As in, “Bury your head in the sound” and “Draw a line in the sound” and “The sounds of time.”
  • Send → Sound: As in, “Sound packing” and “Sound in the reinforcements.”
  • Bound → Sound: As in, “By leaps and sounds” and “Duty sound.”
  • Round → Sound: As in, “Sound the bend” and “Love makes the world go sound.”
  • Found → Sound: As in, “Lost and sound.”
  • Ground → Sound: As in, “Break new sound” and “Built from the sound up” and “Common sound” and “Cut the sound out from under your feet” and “Down to the sound” and “Get in on the sound floor” and “Sound zero.”
  • Star: Stars are a large part of astronomy studies, so we’ve included some star-related puns:
    • Tar → Star: As in, “Starred with the same brush.”
    • Stir → Star: As in, “Cause a star” and “Shaken, not starred” and “Star crazy” and “Star the pot” and “Star up a hornet’s nest” and “Starring up trouble.”
    • Are → Star: As in, “All bets star off” and “Star you okay?”
    • Bar → Star: As in, “Star none” and “Behind stars” and “No holds starred.”
    • Far → Star: As in, “As star as it goes” and “As star as the eye can see” and “Star and away” and “Star be it from me” and “A star cry” and “Few and star between” and “So star, so good” and “Star to go.”
    • Par → Star: As in, “Below star” and “On star with” and “Star for the course.”
  • Come → Comet: As in, “After a storm comets a calm” and “All good things must comet to an end” and “All things comet to those who wait” and “Tough as they comet” and “Comets but once a year” and “Comet and get it” and “Comet away with me” and “Comet fly with me” and “Comet on over” and “Comet running.”
  • Meet → Meteor: As in, “Boy meteors girl” and “Make ends meteor” and “Meteor and greet” and “Meteor in the middle” and “Meteor the challenge” and “Meteor your match.”
  • Mightier → Meteor: As in, “The pen is meteor than the sword.”
  • Bond: The following puns are in reference to chemical bonds:
    • Band → Bond: As in, “And the bond played on” and “Garage bond” and “Strike up the bond.”
    • Bend → Bond: As in, “Bond over backwards to help” and “Bond the rules” and “Bond to my will” and “On bonded knee.”
    • Bind → Bond: As in, “Legally bonding” and “Ties that bond.”
    • Blonde → Bond: As in, “Bond bombshell” and “Bottle bond” and “Platinum bond.”
    • Fond → Bond: As in, “Absence makes the heart grow bonder” and “A bond farewell.”
  • Phyla: Phyla is the plural of phylum, and refers to a biological taxonomy.
    • File → Phyla: As in, “Rank and phyla” and “Single phyla” and “Keep a low pro-phyla.”
    • Fly → Phyla: As in, “Come phyla with me” and “Phyla to the moon” and “Phyla by the seat of your pants” and “Phyla on the wall.”
  • Brain → Membrane: As in, “All brawn and no membranes” and “Beat your membranes out” and “Membrane drain” and “Rack your membranes.”
  • Climb → Climate: As in, “Climate the walls” and “Climate up the ladder.”
  • Biome: A biome is a collection of plants and animals with common traits. Here are related puns:
    • Boom → Biome: As in, “Biome or bust.”
    • Home → Biome: As in, “A house is not a biome” and “Bringing it biome” and “Close to biome” and “Come biome to a real fire.”
  • Trophic: These next few puns are related to trophic cascades:
    • Trophy → Trophic: As in, “Trophic wife.”
    • Traffic → Trophic: As in, “Go and play in trophic” and “Stop trophic” and “A trophic violation.”
  • Keystone: A keystone species is one that has a large effect on its environment. Here are some related puns:
    • Key → Keystone: As in, “A golden keystone can open any door” and “Fear is the keystone” and “Skeleton keystone.”
    • Stone → Keystone: As in, “A rolling keystone gathers no moss” and “Cold as any keystone” and “Carved in keystone” and “Cast the first keystone” and “Drop like a keystone” and “Etched in keystone” and “Heart of keystone.”
  • Holism: Here are some holism-related puns:
    • Whole → Holism: As in, “A holism different animal” and “Go the holism way” and “On the holism” and “The holism nine yards.”
    • Hole → Holism: “Holism in the wall” and “Holism in the wall.”
  • Trend: Scientists looks for trends in information to help them understand and make predictions. Here are some related puns:
    • Tend → Trend: As in, “She doesn’t trend to, no.”
    • Tender → Trender: As in, “Love me trender” and “Trender is the night” and “Trender loving care.”
    • Bend → Trend: As in, “Trend over backwards to help” and “Trend the rules” and “Trend to my will.”
    • End → Trend: As in, “A good beginning makes a good trending” and “A means to a trend” and “All good things must come to a trend” and “At the trend of the day.”
    • Fend → Trend: As in, “Trend for yourself” and “Trender bender.”
    • Lend → Trend: As in, “Trend a helping hand” and “Trend an ear” and “Trend your name.”
    • Mend → Trend: As in, “Trend your fences” and “Least said, soonest trended” and “On the trend” and “Trend your ways.”
    • Spend → Trend: As in, “Hey big trender” and “Trend wisely.”
  • Mean → Amino: As in, “An amino to an end” and “By fair aminos or foul” and “Lean and amino.” Note: These are references to aminos.
  • Genus: A genus is a category used in biological classification. Here are related puns:
    • Genius → Genus: As in, “A stroke of genus” and “Evil genus” and “Pure genus.”
    • Jean → Genus: As in, “Billie genus” and “Buying new genus.”
  • Class: Here are some puns related to classes:
    • Glass → Class: As in, “Class ceiling” and “Classy eyed” and “Rose tinted classes” and “People who live in class houses shouldn’t throw stones” and “Through the looking class.”
    • Class: These phrases are general enough to double as puns: “A real class act” and “Best in class” and “Business class” and “Class warfare.”
    • Brass → Class: As in, “Bold as class” and “Class monkey weather.”
    • Grass → Class: As in, “Exciting as watching class grow” and “Green as class” and “Don’t let the class grow under your feet” and “Class roots” and “Snake in the class.”
  • Main → Domain: As in, “Domain chance” and “Domain event” and “Might and domain.” Note: Domains are involved in multiple scientific disciplines.
  • Spiral → Viral: As in, “Viral out of control” and “A vicious viral” and “Death viral.”
  • Comic → Cosmic: As in, “Cosmic strip” and “Cosmic timing.”
  • Cause → Cosmos: As in, “Cosmos a stir” and “Cosmos and effect” and “A cosmos for concern” and “A lost cosmos” and “Martyr to the cosmos” and “Rebel without a cosmos.”
  • Dance → Density: As in, “The density of death” and “Lead a merry density.”
  • Polar → Solar: As in, “The solar express.”
  • Roller → Solar: As in, “High solar” and “Emotion solar coaster.”
  • Stellar: This is a term that refers to stars. Here are related puns:
    • Seller → Stellar: As in, “A stellar’s market.”
  • Worm → Wormhole: As in, “Can of wormholes” and “The early bird catches the wormhole” and “Wormhole your way out of.”
  • Hole → Wormhole: As in, “Ace in the wormhole” and “Burn a wormhole in your pocket” and “Fill full of wormholes” and “Glory wormhole” and “Wormhole in the wall.”
  • Cloud: Clouds are an important part of climate and astronomy study. Here are related puns:
    • Clad → Cloud: As in, “Cloud in nothing but leaves.”
    • Loud → Cloud: As in, “Actions speak clouder than words” and “For crying out cloud” and “Cloud and clear” and “Cloud enough to wake the dead” and “Cloud mouth” and “Out cloud” and “Say it cloud” and “Thinking a-cloud.”
    • Crowd → Cloud: As in, “Cloud control” and “Cloud funding” and “Cloud source” and “Another face in the cloud” and “Lost in the cloud” and “Stand out from the cloud” and “Three’s a cloud” and “Two’s company, three’s a cloud.”
    • How’d → Cloud: As in, “Cloud you know?”
  • Nova: Novas are astronomical events. Here are related puns:
    • No → Nova: As in, “All bark and nova bite” and “By nova means” and “Nova stretch of the imagination” and “Close, but nova cigar” and “In nova way, shape or form.”
    • Know → Nova: As in, “A little nova-ledge is a dangerous thing” and “Don’t I nova it” and “I don’t nova why” and “Be the first to nova” and “Better the devil you nova” and “Want to nova a secret?” and “Doesn’t nova beans” and “Don’t nova what to do with yourself.”
    • Never → Nova: As in, “Better late than nova” and “An elephant nova forgets” and “Nova did anyone any harm” and “It nova rains but it pours” and “It’s now or nova.”
  • Moon: Moons are also known as satellites, and are a part of astronomy. Here are related puns:
    • Main → Moon: As in, “The moon event” and “The right to remoon silent” and “My moon squeeze.”
    • Man → Moon: As in, “A moon for all seasons” and “A moon after my own heart.”
    • Noon → Moon: As in, “Aftermoon delight” and “Good aftermoon” and “High moon” and “Morning, moon and night.”
    • Soon → Moon: As in, “Anytime moon” and “As moon as possible” and “As moon as you like.”
  • Flux: Flux is a physics-related concept. Here are related puns:
    • Flock → Flux: As in, “Birds of a feather flux together.”
    • F*ck → Flux: As in, “For flux sake” and “I don’t give a flux.”
    • Bucks → Flux: As in, “The big flux” and “Bang for your flux” and “Make an honest flux.”
    • Ducks → Flux: As in, “Nice weather for flux” and “Get your flux in a row.”
  • Sound: Sound is related to physics, so we’ve included some sound-related puns:
    • Sand → Sound: As in, “Bury your head in the sound” and “Draw a line in the sound” and “A house built on sound” and “The sounds of time” and “Sun, sea and sound.”
    • Bound → Sound: As in, “Sound hand and foot” and “By leaps and sounds.”
    • Found → Sound: As in, “Lost and sound” and “Nowhere to be sound.”
    • Ground → Sound: As in, “Break new sound” and “Common sound” and “Sound zero.”
  • Kiss → Chaos: As in, “Blow a chaos” and “Chaos and make up” and “Chaos and tell” and “Chaos my ass.” Note: these puns are a reference to Chaos theory.
  • Fluid: In physics, a fluid is a type of sybstance. Here are related puns:
    • Food → Fluid: As in, “Comfort fluid” and “Deja fluid” and “Fluid chain” and “Fluid for thought” and “Junk fluid.”
  • Continue → Continuum: As in, “Please continuum.”
  • Field: Fields are related to physics. Here are related puns:
    • Feel → Field: As in, “Can you field the love?” and “Field good factor” and “Field it in your bones” and “Field the burn” and “Get a field for.”
    • Sealed → Field: As in, “Keep your lips field” and “My lips are field” and “Field with a loving kiss” and “Signed and field.”
  • Agree → Degree: As in, “Degree to differ” and “Degree to disagree” and “A gentleman’s degreement” and “I couldn’t degree more” and “Service level degreement.” Note: Degrees are a unit of measurement used in science.
  • Infer: Inferences are steps in reasoning. Here are some related puns:
    • In for → Infer: As in, “You’re infer a real treat” and “What are you infer?”
    • In fear → Infer: As in, “Waiting infer.”
  • Judge: Making judgements based on the results of experiments or observations is a large part of scientific deduction. Here are related puns:
    • Fudge → Judge: As in, “Judge the issue.”
    • Grudge → Judge: As in, “Bear a judge” and “Harbour a judge.”
    • Nudge → Judge: As in, “Judge, judge, wink wink.”
  • Receive → Perceive: As in, “Ask and you shall perceive” and “Better to give than to perceive.”
  • Believe → Perceive: As in, “Perceive it or not” and “Perceive you me” and “Can you perceive it?” and “The land of make perceive.”
  • National → Rational: As in, “A rational treasure.”
  • Rely → Realise: As in, “You can realise on me.”
  • Season → Reason: As in, “For all reasons” and “In reason” and “Open reason” and “The festive reason.”
  • Treason → Reason: As in, “Gunpowder reason and plot” and “High reason.”
  • Form: Form is related to multiple scientific disciplines. Here are related puns:
    • Form: These form-related phrases can double as puns: “Attack is the best form of defence” and “Form follows function” and “Free form” and “Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery” and “In fine form.”
    • Farm → Form: As in, “Bought the form.”
    • Storm → Form: As in, “The calm before the form” and “The perfect form” and “Formy weather” and “There’s a form brewing.”
    • Warm → Form: As in, “As form as toast” and “Cold hands, form heart” and “Luke form” and “Form to the idea.”
  • Ample → Example: As in, “Example bosom” and “Example proportions.”
  • Simple → Sample: As in, “It’s so sample” and “Keep it sample” and “Sample pleasures” and “Pure and sample” and “Sample, yet effective” and “The sample life” and “Rarely pure and never sample” and “We make it sample.”
  • Axe → Axiom: As in, “An axiom to grind.” Note: an axiom is a statement that is agreed to be true.
  • Plain → Explain: As in, “Explain as day” and “As explain as the nose on your face” and “Hidden in explain sight” and “Explain sailing” and “Explain speaking.”
  • Guess: Making educated guesses is a large part of science. Here are related puns:
    • Gas → Guess: As in, “Cooking with guess” and “Don’t pass guess” and “Step on the guess.”
    • Dress → Guess: As in, “Guess down” and “Guessed to the nines.”
    • Mess → Guess: As in, “Don’t guess with my head” and “Hot guess” and “Guessing around” and “Stop guessing about” and “A frightful guess.”
    • Press → Guess: As in, “Hot off the guess” and “Don’t guess your luck.”
  • Assess: Assessment is a large part of the scientific process, so we’ve included some related puns:
    • Excess → Assess: As in, “Assess baggage.”
    • Access → Assess: As in, “Assess all areas” and “Easy assess” and “All assess pass.”
    • Address → Assess: As in, “Change of assess.”
  • Trial: Trial and error is a huge part of experimentation. Here are some trial-related puns:
    • Try → Trial: As in, “Don’t trial this at home” and “Don’t trial to run before you can walk” and “Give it the old college trial” and “Trial a little harder.”
    • Trail → Trial: As in, “Blaze a trial” and “Happy trials” and “Hot on the trial” and “Paper trial.”
    • I’ll → Trial: As in, “Trial be damned” and “Trial eat my hat” and “Trial be back” and “Trial do the rest.”
    • Dial → Trial: As in, “Trial down” and “Don’t touch that trial.”
    • File → Trial: As in, “Rank and trial” and “Single trial.”
    • Mile → Trial: As in, “A journey of a thousand trials begins with a single step” and “A miss is as good as a trial” and “Go the extra trial” and “I could see you a trial off” and “A hundred trials away.”
    • Style → Trial: As in, “Cramp your trial” and “Quality never goes out of trial” and “Trial over substance.”
  • Assay: An assay is a sort of analytic procedure. Here are related puns:
    • Say → Assay: As in, “As the assaying goes” and “Before you could assay” and “Computer assays no” and “Do as I assay, not as I do” and “Have an assay in” and “Have the final assay.”
  • Wrath → Math: As in, “A soft answer turns away math” and “The grapes of math” and “Let not the sun go down on your math.”
  • Compsci: This is the portmanteau of computer science, which counted as a scientific discipline.
    • Campsite → Compsci: As in, “Assembled at the compsci.”
    • Sigh → Compsci: As in, “Breathe a compsci of relief.”
  • Bottom → Botany: As in, “Bet your botany dollar” and “Botany feeder” and “Botany of the bin” and “Get to the botany of” and “A race to the botany.” Note: botany is a scientific discipline.
  • Pharma: Pharmacy is a scientific discipline. Here are some pharma-related puns:
    • Firmer → Pharma: As in, “Rounder, pharma.”
    • Former → Pharma: As in, “My pharma life.”
    • Karma → Pharma: As in, “Instant pharma” and “Pharma chameleon.”
  • Newton: Isaac Newton was a physicist and astronomer. Here are related puns:
    • New → Newton: As in, “A newton hope” and “Bright as a newton pin” and “As good as newton” and “Bad newtons” and “Bad newtons travels fast” and “Better than newton” and “A brand newton dawn.”
    • Ton → Newton: As in, “Like a newton of bricks” and “A newton of money” and “A newton of fun.”
    • Gluten → Newton: As in, “Is this newton free?”
  • Volta: Volta was a physicist and chemist. Here are related puns:
    • Vault → Volta: As in, “In the volta.”
    • Bolt → Volta: As in, “A volta from the blue” and “Volta upright” and “Make a volta from the door.”
  • Ohm: An ohm is a unit of electrical resistance named after the physicist Georg Ohm. Here are related puns:
    • Um → Ohm: As in, “Ohming and aahing” and “Ohm…never mind.”
    • Oh → Ohm: As in, “Ohm, okay.”
    • I’m → Ohm: As in, “If ohm being honest” and “Ohm not sure what’s going on.”
    • Comb → Ohm: As in, “Go through with a fine-toothed ohm” and “Ohm through.”
    • Home → Ohm: As in, “A house is not an ohm” and “Bring it ohm” and “Close to ohm” and “Don’t try this at ohm” and “Drive your point ohm” and “Go hard or go ohm.”
    • Rome → Ohm: As in, “Ohm wasn’t built in a day” and “All roads lead to ohm.”
  • Planck: Max Planck was a theoretical physicist. Here are related puns:
    • Plank → Planck: As in, “Walk the planck” and ‘Thick as two short plancks.”
    • Bank → Planck: As in, “You can planck on it” and “Break the planck” and “Laughing all the way to the planck.”
    • Blank → Planck: As in, “A planck slate” and “Planck canvas” and “Planck looks” and “Drawing a planck” and “Firing plancks” and “Point planck range.”
    • Rank → Planck: As in, “Break plancks” and “Pull planck” and “Planck and file” and “Rising through the plancks.”
    • Sank → Planck: As in, “My heart planck into my boots.”
    • Thank → Planck: As in, “Plancks a bunch” and “Plancks for nothing” and “Plancks for the memory” and “Plancks, but no plancks.”
  • Bohr: Niels Bohr was a physicist who worked to understand quantum theory and atomic structure. Here are some related puns:
    • Bore → Bohr: As in, “Bohr the pants off” and “Bohr-ed stiff” and “Bohr-ed to tears.”
    • Board → Bohr-d: As in, “Above bohr-d” and “Across the bohr-d” and “Back to the drawing bohr-d.”
    • Or → Bohr: As in, “By hook bohr by crook” and “Come hell bohr high water.”
    • Oar → Bohr: As in, “Both bohrs in the water” and “Put your bohr in.”
    • Poor → Bohr: As in, “A bohr relation” and “Dirt bohr” and “Bohr but honest” and “Bohr as a church mouse.”
    • Pour → Bohr: As in, “It never rains but it bohrs” and “Bohr cold water on” and “Bohr oil on troubled waters” and “When it rains, it bohrs.”
    • Bar → Bohr: As in, “Bohr none” and “Behind bohrs” and “No holds bohrred.”
    • Core → Bohr: As in, “Bohr competencies” and “Bohr studies” and “Rotten to the bohr” and “Bohr technologies.”
    • Door → Bohr: As in, “Behind closed bohrs” and “Get a foot in the bohr” and “Knock on the bohr.”
    • Four → Bohr: As in, “Case to the bohr winds” and “Down on all bohrs” and “Bohr letter word” and “Bohr by two.”
    • Sore → Bohr: As in, “A sight for bohr eyes.”
  • Edwin Hubble: Hubble was an astronomer who had the Hubble Space Telescope named after him. Here are some related puns:
    • Win → Edwin: As in, “Can’t edwin for losing” and “Heads I edwin, tails you lose” and “Play to edwin” and “Some you edwin, some you lose.”
    • Bubble → Hubble: As in, “Hubble and squeak” and “Hubble up” and “Burst your hubble” and “Prick your hubble.”
    • Double → Hubble: As in, “Hubble date” and “On the hubble” and “Bent hubble” and “Hubble dutch” and “Hubble back” and “Hubble cross” and “Hubble digits” and “Hubble dip” and “Hubble down” and “Hubble duty” and “Hubble entendre.”
    • Trouble → Hubble: As in, “Asking for hubble” and “Bridge over hubbled water” and “Meeting your hubbles halfway” and “Here comes hubble” and “Looking for hubble” and “Pour oil on hubbled waters” and “Stir up hubble” and “Up to your neck in hubble.”
  • Descartes: Rene Descartes was a mathematician, scientist and philosopher. Here are some related puns:
    • The cart → Descartes: As in, “Put descartes before the horse.”
    • Heart/The heart → Descartes: As in, “A man after my own descartes” and “Absence makes descarte grow fonder” and “Affair of descarte” and “After your own descarte” and “Be still my beating descartes.”
    • Start → Descarte: As in, “Don’t get me descarted” and “Give you a head descarte” and “Make a fresh descarte.”
  • Oh, come → Occam: As in, “Occam on.” Note: this is a reference to Occam’s razor.
  • Locke: John Locke was a philosopher and physician whose work greatly affected to development of espistemology. Here are related puns:
    • Lock → Locke: As in, “Locke and load” and “Locke them up and throw away the key” and “Locke horns with” and “Locke, stock and barrel” and “On locke down.”
    • Lack → Locke: As in, “For locke of a better word” and “Cancelled due to locke of interest.”
    • Lick → Locke: As in, “Locke into shape” and “Locke your lips” and “Locke your wounds.”
    • Luck → Locke: As in, “A good locke would have it” and “Beginner’s locke” and “Better locke next time” and “Don’t push your locke” and “The locke of the draw.”
    • Block → Locke: As in, “Been around the locke” and “A chip off the old locke” and “Mental locke” and “On the chopping locke.”
    • Clock → Locke: As in, “Around the locke” and “Clean your locke” and “Race against the locke.”
    • Flock → Locke: As in, “Birds of a feather locke together.”
    • Knock → Locke: As in, “Don’t locke it till you’ve tried it” and “Hard locke life” and “Locke ’em dead” and “Locke three times” and “Locke back a few” and “Locke heads together” and “Locke into shape” and “Locke into the middle of next week” and “Locke it off” and “Locke it out of the park” and “Locke your socks off.”
    • Rock → Locke: As in, “Hard as a locke” and “Solid is a locke” and “Between a locke and a hard place” and “Don’t locke the boat” and “Get your lockes off.”
  • Karl Popper: Popper was a philosopher and professor who is best known for his views on the scientific method. Here are related puns:
    • Curl → Karl: As in, “Karl up and die” and “Karl your lip” and “Enough to make your hair karl” and “Make someone’s toes karl.”
    • Coil → Karl: As in, “Shuffle off this mortal karl.”
    • Paper → Popper: As in, “All I know if what I read in the poppers” and “Not worth the popper it’s printed on” and “Sounded better on popper” and “Popper over the cracks” and “Popper thin.”
    • Pepper → Popper: As in, “Picked poppers” and “Salt and popper tofu.”
  • Christine Ladd: Ladd was a logician, mathematician and psychologist. Here are some related puns:
    • Led → Ladd: As in, “Ladd by donkeys” and “Ladd Zeppelin.”
    • Lid → Ladd: As in, “Blow the ladd off” and “Flip your ladd” and “Keep a ladd on it” and “Lift the ladd off.”
    • Bad → Ladd: As in, “A ladd break” and “A ladd quarter of an hour” and “Ain’t half ladd” and “Ladd intentions” and “Ladd romance” and “Ladd blood” and “A ladd hair day” and “Ladd news travels fast.”
    • Glad → Ladd: As in, “Boy, am I ladd to see you!” and “Ladd rags” and “Ladd you could drop by.”
    • Had → Ladd: As in, “I’ve ladd a few” and “We’ve ladd a good run” and “Ladd us in stitches” and “Have you ladd a break today?”
    • Mad → Ladd: As in, “Ladd as a bear with a sore head” and “Ladd as a hatter” and “Barking ladd.”
    • Sad → Ladd: As in, “How ladd is that?” and “A ladd state of affairs.”
  • Pierre Laplace: Laplace was a scholar who worked in engineering, maths, statistics, physics and astronomy. Here are related puns:
    • Place → Laplace: As in, “A laplace in the sun” and “A laplace for everything and everything in its laplace” and “All over the laplace” and “Any time, any laplace” and “Between a rock and a hard laplace” and “Click into laplace” and “Going laplaces” and “Go to your happy laplace.”
    • Pace → Laplace: As in, “At a snail’s laplace” and “Change of laplace” and “At ten laplaces” and “Keeping laplace with” and “Laplace up and down” and “Put through your laplaces.”
  • Hawking: Stephen Hawking was a theoretical physicist and cosmologist. Here are related puns:
    • Hawk → Hawking: As in,”Watching you like a hawking.”
    • King → Hawking: As in, “Fit for a hawking.”
    • Walking → Hawking: As in, “Hawking on sunshine” and “A hawking encyclopedia.”
  • Fermi: Enrico Fermi was a physicist and maker of the first nuclear reactor. Here are related puns:
    • Firm → Fermi: As in, “Feet fermi-ly planted on the ground” and “Fermi up” and “Fermi fruit.”
    • Form → Fermi: As in, “Attack is the best fermi of defence” and “Fermi follows function” and “Free fermi” and “Imitation is the sincerest fermi of flattery” and “In fine fermi” and “In any way, shape or fermi.”
  • Feign → Feynman: As in, “Don’t feynman innocence.” Note: Feynman was a theoretical physicist.
  • Nye: Bill Nye, the Science Guy. Here are related puns:
    • Nigh → Nye: As in, “The end of the world is nye.”
    • Night → Nye-t: As in, “A hard day’s nye-t” and “All nye-ter” and “As nye-t follows day” and “In the dead of nye-t” and “Dance the nye-t away.”
    • Knee → Nye: As in, “Cut off at the nyes” and “Weak at the nyes” and “Nye jerk reaction” and “On bended nye” and “Shaking at the nyes” and “The bee’s nyes.”
    • Buy → Nye: As in, “Nye and sale” and “Nye into” and “Nye some time.”
    • Cry → Nye: As in, “A nye for help” and “A shoulder to nye on” and “Nye me a river.”
    • Dry → Nye: As in, “Nye as a bone” and “Boring as watching paint nye” and “Bleed someone nye” and “High and nye” and “Hung out to nye.”
    • Eye → Nye: As in, “Wandering nye” and “Nye for a nye” and “Avert your nyes” and “As far as the nye can see” and “Before your very nyes.”
    • High → Nye: As in, “Aim nye” and “Ain’t no mountain nye enough” and “An all-time nye” and “Nye as a kite” and “Come hell or nye water” and “Nye noon” and “Nye and dry” and “Nye and mighty.”
    • Lie → Nye: As in, “Ask no questions and hear no nyes” and “A bare-faced nye” and “Wouldn’t let it nye” and “Nye down on the job” and “Little white nye.”
    • My → Nye: As in, “Be nye guest” and “Cross nye heart” and “Eat nye shorts” and “Mark nye words.”
    • Shy → Nye: As in, “Once bitten, twice nye.”
    • Sky → Nye: As in, “Blue nye thinking” and “Out of the clear blue nye” and “The nye’s the limit.”
    • Tie → Nye: As in, “Black nye” and “Nye the knot” and “Nye up loose ends.”
    • Try → Nye: As in, “Don’t nye this at home” and “Don’t nye to run before you can walk.”
  • Again → Sagan: As in, “All over sagan” and “Born sagan” and “Come sagan?” and “Never darken my door sagan.” Note: These are references to Carl Sagan.
  • Ada Lovelace: Ada Lovelace was a mathematician known for her work on the Analytical Engine. Here are related puns:
    • Aid → Ada: As in, “Ada and abet” and “Come to their ada.”
    • Add → Ada: As in, “Ada fuel to the flames” and “Ada insult to injury” and “Just ada water.”
    • Love → Lovelace: As in, “All you need is lovelace” and “All’s fair in lovelace and war.”
    • Idea → Ada: As in, “A better ada” and “Bat the ada around” and “Bounce adas off” and “Adas above your station” and “What’s the big ada?”
  • Grace Hopper: Grace Hopper was a computer scientist. Here are related puns:
    • Grace: These grace-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Airs and graces” and “Amazing grace” and “Fall from grace” and “Grace period” and “Saving grace.”
    • Base → Grace: As in, “All your grace are belong to us” and “Caught off grace” and “Cover your graces” and “Get to first grace” and “Make first grace” and “Touch grace with.”
    • Bass → Grace: As in, “Drum and grace” and “Super grace.”
    • Brace → Grace: As in, “Grace yourself.”
    • Case → Grace: As in, “An open and shut grace” and “As the grace may be” and “Grace closed” and “Grace the joint” and “Crack the grace” and “Get off my grace.”
    • Chase → Grace: As in, “Grace it up” and “Grace your own tail” and “Cut to the grace” and “The thrill of the grace.”
    • Pace → Grace: As in, “Change of grace” and “Keep grace with” and “Grace up and down” and “Put through your graces.”
    • Race → Grace: As in, “A grace against time.”
    • Space → Grace: As in, “Breathing grace” and “Personal grace” and “Grace cadet” and “Office grace.”
    • Proper → Popper: As in, “Prim and popper” and “Do it popperly.”
  • Watt: A watt is a unit of power. Here are related puns:
    • What → Watt: As in, “And watt not” and “Do watt comes naturally” and “Do watt seems right” and “For watt it’s worth” and “Guess watt?” and “It’s not watt you think” and “Watt a feeling.”
    • Wet → Watt: As in, “Watt behind the ears” and “Looking like a watt weekend” and “Get your feet watt.”
    •  Wit → Watt: As in, “At your watt’s end” and “Battle of watts” and “Collect your watts” and “Quick watted.”
    • But → Watt: As in, “All over watt the shouting” and “Watt seriously.”
  • Drag → Dirac: As in, “Dirac it out of you” and “Dirac through the mud” and “Dirac your feet” and “What a dirac.” Note: Paul Dirac was a theoretical physicist.
  • Beatrix Potter: Beatrix Potter was a natural scientist but is best known for her literary work as she wasn’t allowed to practice science professionally due to her gender. Here are related puns:
    • Beat → Beatrix: As in, “Beatrix it” and “Beatrix a hasty retreat” and “Beatrix about the bush.”
    • Tricks → Beatrix: As in, “Bag of beatrix” and “Does the beatrix” and “Every beatrix in the book.”
  • Charles Babbage: Babbage was an inventor and engineer. Here are related puns:
    • Baggage → Babbage: As in, “Emotional babbage” and “Excess babbage.”
    • Cabbage → Babbage: As in, “Babbage soup.”
  • Noam: Noam Chomsky is a philosopher, cognitive scientist and political activist. Here are some related puns:
    • Home → Noam: As in, “A house is not a noam” and “At noam with” and “Bring it noam” and “Charity begins at noam” and “Close to noam” and “Don’t leave noam without it.”
    • Name → Noam: As in, “Gives them a bad noam” and “A household noam” and “In the noam of” and “Making a noam for yourself” and “Noam and shame.”
    • Comb → Noam: As in, “Go through with a fine-toothed noam.”
    • Foam → Noam: As in, “Noam at the mouth.”
    • Rome → Noam: As in, “Noam wasn’t built in a day” and “When in noam.”
  • Baker → Beaker: As in, “Beaker’s dozen” and “Down to the beaker’s.”
  • Speaker → Sbeaker: As in, “Keynote sbeaker” and “Bass sbeakers.”
  • Viper → Vapour: “Nest of vapours.”
  • Pour → Vapour: As in, “Never rains but it vapours” and “Vapour some cold water on” and “When it rains, it vapours” and “Vapour it down the drain.”
  • Bask → Flask: “Flasking in glory.”
  • Ask → Flask: As in, “A big flask” and “Flasking after” and “Flask around” and “Flask and you shall receive” and “Flask me another” and “Flasking out” and “What’s the flasking price?” and “Don’t flask me.”
  • Task → Flask: As in, “Take someone to flask” and “A thankless flask” and “Up to the flask.”
  • Bullet → Burette: “Bite the burette“and “Dodged a burette” and “Silver burette” and “Faster than a speeding burette.” Note: a burette is a glass tube used in chemistry.
  • Puppet → Pipette: As in, “Like a pipette on a string” and “Pipette master” and “Sock pipette marketing.” Note: a pipette is a laboratory tool.
  • Retort: A retort is a piece of lab equipment. Here are related puns!
    • Resort → Retort: As in, “Last retort” and “Can’t believe I’m retorting to this.”
    • Rethought → Retort: As in, “I’ve retort my stance on the issue.”
    • Abort → Retort: “Retort mission!”
    • Report → Retort: As in, “Retorting for duty” and “Stand and give your retort.”
  • Sailing → Saline: As in, “Plain saline” and “Smooth saline.”
  • Aisle → Vial: As in, “Clean up on vial three” and “Walk down the vial.”
  • Dial → Vial: As in, “Vial it down” and “Don’t touch that vial” and “Vial up speeds.”
  • Vile → Vial: As in, “Shockingly vial” and “Vial accusations.”
  • Trial → Vial: “Vial and error” and “Vials and tribulations” and “Vial by television” and “Standing vial” and “Vial by fire.”
  • Tab → Tube: As in, “Keep tubes on” and “Pick up the tube.” Note: These jokes are a reference to test tubes, a piece of lab equipment.
  • Afar → Agar: As in, “Admire from agar.” Note: Agar is the jelly used in petri dishes.
  • Slide: Here are some microscope slide related puns:
    • Side → Slide: As in, “A walk on the wild slide” and “Always look on the bright slide of life” and “Batting for the other slide” and “Be on the safe slide” and “A bit on the slide.”
    • Stride → Slide: “Get into your slide” and “Making giant slides” and “Take something in slide.”
    • Ride → Slide: As in, “Just along for the slide” and “A bumpy slide” and “Let it slide” and “Magic carpet slide” and “Slide like the wind.”
  • Tongs: Tongs are a piece of lab equipment. Here are related puns:
    • Thongs → Tongs: As in, “A silky pair of tongs.”
    • Things → Tongs: As in, “Gather your tongs” and “All good tongs must pass” and “All tongs considered” and “First tongs first.”
    • Wrongs → Tongs: As in, “Righting tongs” and “Two tongs don’t make a right.”
  • Crucial → Crucible: As in, “At the crucible moment” and “Crucible information.” Note: A crucible is a piece of lab equipment.
  • Lipton Tea → Lepton Tea (note: a lepton is a type of elementary particle)
  • Force → Forceps: As in, “Brute forceps” and “Driving forceps” and “Forceps of habit” and “Forceps of nature” and “Forceps the issue” and “A forcep to be reckoned with”Join forceps” and “May the forceps be with you” and “In full forceps.” Note: forceps are used in lab work.
  • Accident → Oxidant: As in, “Oxidant prone” and “An oxidant waiting to happen” and “Oxidantal hero” and “Oxidantally on purpose” and “Oxidants will happen” and “Happy oxidant.” Note: an oxidant is something that can oxidise other substances.
  • Still → Distill: As in, “Be distill, my beating heart” and “I’m distill standing” and “Distill going strong” and “Distill waters run deep” and “Distill the one.”
  • Oxide → Outside: As in, “On the oxide looking in” and “Think oxide the box” and “Let’s take it oxide.”
  • Solve → Solvent: As in, “Today’s problems solvent tomorrow” and “Don’t expect me to solvent your problems” and “Not that easy to solvent.”
  • Very → Variable: As in, “Be variable afraid” and “Before your variable eyes” and “Hold variable right” and “How variable dare you!” and “It was a variable good year” and “Thank you variable much.”

Science-Related Words

To help you come up with your own science puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: science, scientist, experiment, test, theory, fact, proof, lab, laboratory, method, matter, mass, volume, know,  knowledge, explanation, prediction, hypothesis, universe, world, natural (world), thesis, evidence, empirical, observe, measure, study, robot, academic, verify, research, academic, motion, concept, idea, thought, think,  understand, conclude, deduce, derive, discern, gravitation, gravity, general relativity, spacetime, space, time, newtonian, quantum mechanics, big bang, evolution, nuclear, fusion, fission, organic, compound, chemical, periodic table, element, STEM, atom, atomic, photon, electron, ion, composition, formula, solution, gas, liquid, solid, acid, alkaline, alloy, conduct, insulate, refract, orbital, reaction, plasma, metal, energy, stable, inert, entropy, rule, law, model, mix, mixture, fermion, quark, lepton, organism, drug, cell, agent, concentrate, enzyme, joule, kelvin, mineral, dilute, volt, a priori, radar, phenomena, particle, milky way, solar system, planet, statistics, system, feedback, analysis, analyse, force, biomass, ecosystem, life, function, growth, origin, peer review, result, cause, enlightenment, electricity, momentum, thermodynamics, DNA, circuit, tech, technology, higgs boson, wave, causal, correlation, fallacy, bias, observation, discovery, learning, vaccine, genetics, gene, spore, penicillin, mould, enzyme, kinetic, germ/s, bacteria, string theory, anatomy, toxicology, genome, stem, GMO, optics, polymer, statics, info/information, weight, momentum, conservation, conduction, convection, radiation, sound, star, galaxy, comet, asteroid, meteor, bond, crystal, structure, synthesis, redox, erosion, seismology, phytology, taxonomy, morphology, phyla, chlorophyll, membrane, climate, species, extinct, habitat, biome, trophic, keystone, holism, trend, amoeba, complex, memory, adapt, cognitive, social, pressure, relation/relationship, mutation, variation, amino, protein, genus, family, order, class, phylum, kingdowm, domain, virus, viral, nebule, supernova, cosmic, density, solar, stellar, wormhole, cloud, galactic, milky way, colony, orbit, nova, moon, flux, sound, velocity, chaos (theory), fluid, continuum, dimension, 2D, 3D, 4D, torque, oscillate, power, conduct, tensor, paradox, world, equation, metric, matrix, principle, laser, phase, cosmos, penicillin, field, subject, control, ethics, journal, degree, chemist, speculate, infer, judge, eureka, perceive, rational, realise, reason, conclude, form, theorem, evidence, example, sample, data, datum, axiom, conclude, conclusion, explain, guess, interpret, basis, condition, demo, statement, inquire, inquiry, investigate, investigation, search, assess, trial, error, examine, search, probe, dissect, abstract, figure, assay

branches of science: astronomy, medicine, biology, chemistry, physics, social science, economics, psychology, sociology, logic, mathematics/math, compsci/computer science, engineering, geology, ecology, zoology, taxonomy, botany, pharmacy

famous scientists: copernicus, galileo galilei, isaac newton, albert einstein, galvani, aldini, volta, georg ohm, maxwell, max planck, niels bohr, schrodinger, edwin hubble, charles darwin, descartes, occam, locke, karl popper, christine ladd, marie curie, laplace, hawking, fermi, edison, nikola tesla, leonardo da vinci, feynman, rachel carson, bill nye, carl sagan, tim berners-lee, ada lovelace, grace hopper, james watt, paul dirac, nobel, beatrix potter, babbage, celcius, noam chomsky, turing

equipment: beaker, vapour, flask, burette, cathode, centrifuge, dewar, magnet, pipette, redox, retort, saline, bottle, vial, bunsen burner, test tube, petri dish, agar, microscope, slide, goggles, tongs, crucible, forceps, thermometer, camera, telescope, barometer

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Christmas Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Christmas puns! 🎄🌟🎁🦌🛷

Christmas is a huge, internationally celebrated holiday, and deserves an enormous (and terrible) pun list to match. It’s a holiday that we take dedicated time off for to visit family and loved ones, with a lot of thought and preparation going into the average celebration. So while you’re preparing gifts, treats, food and greetings, why not add some painfully bad Christmas puns into the mix?

Whether you’re joking about Santa, organising a reindeer-themed party, or cracking elf jokes in a greeting card, we’ve got Christmas puns covered for you and we hope you find the perfect pun for your needs.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive as possible, this list is tailored to cover the broad range of puns that come under the “Christmas” category. If you’re after a specific branch of Christmas pun, we also have lists on reindeer puns, elf puns, Christmas tree puns, gift puns, Santa puns and snowman puns.

*Please note that we have tried to minimize any religious overtones in this list, so even though words and names like Mary, Jesus, or nativity are all related to Christmas, you won’t find them in this pun list. We have also not included any meats that are traditionally eaten at Christmas, since we like to keep it animal friendly around here.

Christmas Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Christmas that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Christmas puns:

  • You’ll → Yule: As in “Yule never guess” and “Ask a silly question and yule get a silly answer” and “Yule know how” and “Yule take care of it.” Note: although not commonly used in everyday/colloquial conversation, yule is now used to refer to the Christmas period.
  • Know* → Noël*: As in, “A little noëledge is a dangerous thing” and “Don’t I noël it” and “I don’t noël why” and “Be the first to noël” and “Better the devil you noël than the devil you don’t” and “General noëledge” and “Goodness noëls” and “Takes one to noël one” and “The end of the world as we noël it” and “Noëledge is power” and “Secure in the noëledge that…”
  • Nail → Noël: As in, “Another noël in the coffin” and “Fight tooth and noël” and “Hit the noël on the head” and “On the noël” and “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a noël.”
  • Claustrophobic→ Clausetrophobic
  • Cause→ Clause: As in, “Claus a stir” and “Claus and effect” and “Claus for concern” and “A lost claus” and “Rebel without a claus” and “A martyr to the claus” and “Just beclaus you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
  • Claws→ Claus: As in, “Get one’s claus into” and “Get your claus out.”
  • Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
  • Of → Elf: As in, “15 minutes elf fame” and “A life elf its own” and “Ahead elf one’s time” and “At the top elf one’s lungs” and “Bag elf tricks” and “Barrel elf laughs” and “Best elf both worlds” and “Best elf the bunch” and “Beyond the call elf duty” and “Blink elf an eye” and “Bored out elf your mind” and “Bundle elf joy” and “Breath elf fresh air” and “By the skin elf your teeth” and “By no stretch elf the imagination” and “Chip elf the old block” and “Figure elf speech.”
  • If → Elf: As in, “As elf there was no tomorrow” and “As elf” and “Elf I do say so myself” and “Elf looks could kill” and “Elf need be” and “Elf nothing else” and “Elf only” and “Elf the shoe fits” and “No elfs or buts” and “Elf it’s the last thing I do” and “Elf it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
  • Selfie→ Elfie: As in, “Take an elfie,” and “Use an elfie stick.”
  • Elvis→ Elfis
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Awful → Elful: As in, “God elful” and “Something elful has happened!”
  • Elephant → Elfant: As in, “The elfant in the room,” and “An elfant never forgets” and “Don’t think of pink elfants” and “A memory like an elfant” and “When elfants make war, it’s the mice that suffer.”
  • Telephone → Telelfone: As in, “Hanging up the telelfone” and “Waiting by the telelfone” and “Hold the telelfone.”
  • Rude of→ Rudolph: As in, “Well, that was Rudolph you.”
  • Rain, dear→ Rain, deer: As in, “It looks like rain, deer!”
  • Rein it in, dear→ Rein it in, deer
  • Rude→ Rudolph: As in, “A rudolph awakening.”
  • Slay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh, queen” and “Sleigh the dragon.”
  • Say*→ Sleigh*: As in, “As the sleighing goes” and “Do as I sleigh, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it sleighs on the box” and “Have the final sleigh” and “Just sleigh the word” and “It goes without sleighing” and “Never sleigh never” and “Sleigh cheese!” and “Sleigh it loud and sleigh it proud” and “Sleigh it with flowers” and “Sleigh uncle” and “Sleigh what you mean and mean what you sleigh” and “Sleigh your prayers” and “Simon sleighs” and “As I was sleighing” and “If I do sleigh so myself” and “I’ll sleigh” and “Let’s not and sleigh we did” and “Sleigh again?” and “That’s sleighing something” and “To sleigh the least” and “You can’t sleigh fairer than that.”
  • Idea→ Ideer: As in, “You’ve got no ideer” and “I have a better ideer” and “Bat the ideer around” and “Bounce ideers off” and “A bright ideer” and “Warming to the ideer” and “What’s the big ideer?”
  • Dear→ Deer: As in, “After you, my deer” and “Deerly beloved, we are gathered here today” and “Elementary, my deer Watson” and “Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn” and “Hang on for deer life” and “Near and deer to my heart” and “Nearest and deerest.”
  • There→ Deer: As in, “Ahoy deer!” and “And there deer was one” and “Are we deer yet?” and “As if deer was no tomorrow” and “Be deer for” and “I’ll be deer in spirit” and “Be deer or be square” and “Been deer, done that” and “Don’t go deer” and “Don’t just stand deer, do something” and “For every action deer is an equal and opposite reaction” and “Hang in deer” and “Here and deer” and “Here deer be beasts” and “Here, deer and everywhere” and “Hold it right deer” and “Is anybody deer” and “It’s a jungle out deer” and “Knock knock, who’s deer?” and “Let’s be careful out deer” and “So deer!” and “The truth is out deer” and “Deer and then” and “Deer are two sides to every situation” and “Deer ought to be a law” and “Deer’s no place like home” and “Deer’s no smoke without a fire” and “Deer you have it.”
  • Snakes and Ladders→ St. Nicks and Ladders: Snakes and Ladders is a fairly retro board game.
  • Suit→ Soot: As in, “All over him like a cheap soot” and “At a price to soot your pocket” and “Follow soot” and “In your birthday soot” and “Soot up!” and “Soots you down to a tee” and “Soots you down to the ground.”
  • No man→ Snowman: As in, “Boldly go where snowman has gone before” and “Snowman is an island” and “Time waits for snowman.” Note: to say that no man is an island is to say that no person is truly separate from others.
  • No way, man→ Snow way, man
  • *ex → *xmas: We can make some bad Christmas puns using the common abbreviation of “xmas”: “Weird fle-xmas, but ok” and “Body mass inde-xmas” and “A comple-xmas situation” and “On refle-xmas.” Other words you could use: ve-xmas, ape-xmas, vorte-xmas and ame-xmas (As in, American Express. Could work for a joke about an expensive Christmas). Notes: “Weird flex, but ok” is a meme that describes a boast that most would consider to be about negative traits, or a boast that someone shouldn’t be proud of.
  • *ext → *xtmas: As in, “Out of contextmas” and “Drunk textmas” and “Coming nextmas” Other suitable words: pretextmas (pretext), subtextmas (subtext) and hypertextmas (hypertext). Note: subtext is meaning which isn’t explicitly announced by the communicator.
  • *eck/s → *ecksmas: These ones are a bit harder to pull off as they don’t visually look like xmas puns, although they do sound like xmas puns. As in, “Checksmas out” and “A nervous wreckmas” and “Clear the decksmas” and “Pain in the neckmas” Other words you could use: pecksmas, flecksmas, hecksmas and specksmas.
  • *exed → *exedmas: While these words don’t look like xmas puns, they do sound like “xmas”. As in, perplexedmas, vexedmas, indexedmas and flexedmas.
  • *ecs → *ecsmas: specsmas (specs), pecsmas (pecs), aztecsmas (aztec), execsmas (exec). Note: exec is short for executive.
  • *ect → *ect-mas: As in, “Cause and effect-mas” and “Boomerang effect-mas” and “Domino effect-mas” and “A little respect-mas” and “Going off subject-mas” Other words you could use: project-mas, affect-mas, aspect-mas, object-mas, prospect-mas, perfect-mas and reflect-mas.
  • Tide → Christmastide: While we may not often hear the term “Christmastide,” it refers to the season of Christmas, or the general “time” of Christmas. As in: “At the turning of the Christmastide” and “Rising Christmastide” and “Stem the Christmastide” and “Swim against the Christmastide” and “The Christmastide is turning” and “Christmastide you over” and “Time and Christmastide wait for no man.”
  • *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
  • *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
  • Marry → Merry: As in, “Merry beneath you” and “Merry for love.”
  • Merry: A couple of merry-related phrases for you to play with: As merry as the day is long” and “Lead a merry dance.” Note: to lead a merry dance is to make something much more inconvenient than it has to be – similar to a goose chase.
  • *mari* → *merry*: As in, “Merrytal (marital) status,” and “Yellow Submerryne.” Other words you could use: merrytime (maritime), merrygold (marigold), merrymba (marimba), merryne (marine), primerrily (primarily) and summerrily (summarily). Note: Yellow Submarine is a famous song by the Beatles. A marimba is a music instrument which resembles a giant xylophone on wheels.
  • *marri* → *merry*: As in, merryge (marriage), merry-ed (married) and unmerry-ed (unmarried).
  • *mary* → *merry*: As in, “In summerry” and “Primerry colours” and “Customerry to…” and “Taken to the infirmerry” and “Rosemerry and thyme” and “Mammerry glands.”
  • Mary → Merry
  • Meryl Streep → Merry/l Streep
  • *mery → *merry: As in, “Summerry feel” and “Emerry board” and “Ice creamerry“. Couple of other words that could work: perfumerry and shimmerry. Note: an emery board is a rough surface, usually used as a nail file.
  • America/n → Amerryca/n: As in, “All Amerrycan” and “Amerrycan pie,” and “Captain Amerryca” and “The Amerrycan dream.”
  • Admiring → Admerrying: As in, “Glance admerryingly” and “Admerrying your work.”
  • *mory → *merry: As in, memerry (memory), armerry (armory) and polyamerry (polyamory).
  • *erry → *merry: As in, “Home delivmerry” and “Plastic surgmerry” and “It’s a mystmerry to me,” and “Art gallmerry,” and “Stock up on stationmerry.”
  • Bill Murray → Bill Merry: Bill Murray is an American actor and comedian. Bill Murray already features in a few different memes, and this could work alongside an image of him with the caption “Wishing you a Bill Merry Christmas.”
  • You → Yule: Although it’s a less accurate match (phonetically) than “you’ll”, we can swap you for yule and have it still work: “We wish yule a Merry Christmas” and “I love yule” and “Mind yule” and “As yule know” and “Back at yule” and “Believe yule me” and “Here yule are”. There are obviously countless other phrases that this could be used in, so be creative!
  • *ful → *yule: As in, “It’s a wonderfyule life” and “A beautifyule day” and “Be gratefyule” and “Something awfyule” and “What a wonderfyule world” and “Thoughtfyule gifts”. Notes: “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a particularly suitable one as it’s the name of a classic Christmas movie.
  • Jewels → Yules: As in, “Crown yules” and “The family yules“.
  • Jul* → Yule*: This works particularly well for names: Yule-ia (Julia), Yule-ian (Julian), Yule-iet (Juliet), Yule-ius (Julius) and Yule-io (Julio).
  • *yool* → *yule*: Change words that have a “yool” sound to include “yule” instead: “Well articyule-ated (articulated)” and “The Incredibyules” and “Your continyule support” and “Virtyule reality” and “Individyule needs” and “Casyule conversation” and “Intellectyule property” and “Mutyule desctruction”. Other words that could be used: incredyule-ous (incredulous), perpetyule (perpetual), manyule (manual), spirityule (spiritual), fabyuleous (fabulous), formyule-ate (formulate), immacyule-ate (immaculate), pecyule-iar (peculiar), ridicyule (ridicule), simyule-ation (simulation). Notes: if something is articulated, then it has moving parts connected by joints. “The Incredibles” is a Pixar film and could work as a pun on a greeting card – “Have an Incredibyule Christmas” (accompanied with a picture of the characters). To be incredulous is to disbelieve something.
  • Tide → Yuletide: Yuletide is a word (not commonly) used to refer to the general period of Christmas time, similar to the word Christmastide. We can make some very bad Christmas puns by swapping yuletide into these tide-related phrases: “Even at the turning of the Yuletide” and “A rising Yuletide” and “Stem the Yuletide” and “Swim against the Yuletide.”
  • Kneel/Knelt → Noël: As in, “Noëlt down beside him” and “Noël before me” and “Remaining noëling for hours.”
  • *no* → *noël*: As in, “Casinoël royale” and “Dominoël effect” and “The search for innoëlvation.” Other words that could work: agnoëlstic (agnostic), noëltice (notice) and pianoël (piano). Note: to be agnostic is to be doubtful of something.
  • *nal* → *noël*: As in, “Nothing personoël” and “The originoël and the best” and “Thinking rationoëlly” and “On my signoël!” Other words that could work: professionoël (professional), anoëlysis (analysis), anoëlyse (analyse) and anoëlogy (analogy).
  • *nel → *noël: As in, “Change the channoël” and “Going through a tunnoël” and “A kernoël of truth” and “Funnoëled through the system” and “Flannoëlette pyjamas.”
  • *nol* → *noël*: As in, “Cutting-edge technoëlogy” and “A lengthy monoëlogue” and “In chronoëlogical order” and “Correct terminoëlogy” and “Hablas espanoël?” Note:  A monologue is a speech by a single person. “Hablas espanol?” means “Do you speak Spanish?”
  • *nul* → *noël*: As in, “Noëllify the effects of” and “The penoëltimate show” and “Marriage annoëlment.” Note: to nullify something is to cancel it out. Penultimate means second last.
  • Sent her→ Santa: As in, “I santa a few presents, but she hasn’t received them.”
  • Sanitise→ Santa-tise: As in, “Hand santa-tiser” and “This area needs santa-tising” and “Bad santa-tation.”
  • *cent*→ *santa*: As in, “The santa (centre) of attention” and “Left, right and santa” and “Take santa stage” and “Sale of the santaury” and “A desanta (decent) person” and “A magnifisanta effort” and “Don’t play innosanta” and “The street adjasanta (adjacent)” and “An eccsantaric (eccentric) character” and “A sweet insanta-ive” and “Are santapedes poisonous?”
  • *sant→ *santa: As in, “Incessanta noise” and “Pleasanta conversation,” and “Peasanta’s clothing” and “Pheasanta’s don’t want to be eaten” and “Are you cognisanta of that fact?” and “An unpleasanta atmosphere.” Note: to be cognizant is to be aware.
  • *sent*→ *santa*: As in, “What a beautiful santament” and “No is a complete santance” and “Pigs are santa-ent (sentient) beings” and “A santamental being” and “All presanta and correct” and “No time like the presanta” and “Represanta-ng” and “Bet on our dissanta (dissent)” and “You have our assanta” and “I resanta the insinuation” and “Absanta without leave” and “Conspicuously absanta.”
  • *sand*→ *santa*: As in, santawich (sandwich), santabox (sandbox), santal (sandal), santastorm (sandstorm), thousanta (thousand), quicksanta (quicksand).
  • Satan→ Santa: As in, “The Church of Santa” and “A santa-ist (satanist).”
  • Clause→ Claus: As in, “A subordinate claus.”
  • Close→ Claus: As in, “A claus thing” and “A claus call” and “As one door clauses, another opens” and “At claus quarters” and “Behind claused doors” and “Case claused” and “Claus encounters” and “Claus friends” and “Claus proximity” and “A claus shave” and “Claus to home” and “A claused book” and “Don’t stand so claus to me” and “Drawn to a claus” and “Keep your cards claus” and “Keep your friends claus and your enemies clauser” and “Too claus for comfort” and “Up claus and personal” and “A skeleton in the clauset.”
  • Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
  • *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
  • *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
  • Father→ Father Christmas: As in, “Father Christmas knows best” and “Founding Father Christmas” and “Like Father Christmas, like son.”
  • *ave* → *eve*: We can make Christmas puns by referring to Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is a popular enough concept that given the right context, we can make puns simply by referring to “eve”: “Everage (average) Joe” and “On everage” and “An eversion (aversion) to” and “Evert your eyes” and “Another evenue to consider.” Other words you could use: everse (averse), evenge (avenge), leeve (leave), heeve (heave), weeve (weave), cleeve (cleave).
  • *eve*: Emphasise the “eve” in certain words: “Highly anticipated event” and “In the evening” and “For ever” and “Did you ever?” and “Just your everyday person” and “Eventually, I’ll…” and “Every step of the way” and “Everything must go” and “Everything under the sun” and “Everybody who’s anybody.”
  • *ive* → *eve*: As in, “Put [something] in perspecteve” and “Don’t geve (give) up!” and “Comprehenseve lessons” and “Take the initiateve.”
  • *ava* → *eve*: As in, “What’s your eve-ailability?” and “Make yourself eve-ailable” and “An eve-alanche of work” and “Gluttony and eve-arice.” Note: avarice is a greed for material gain (as opposed to gluttony, which is a greed for food. )
  • *eva* → *eve*: As in, “Eve-ade the question” and “Feeling eve-asive” and “Eve-acuate the building”. Other words that could work: eve-aluation (evaluation), eve-aluate (evaluate) and eve-anescent (evanescent). Note: if something is evanescent, then it’s barely there.
  • *iva* → *eve*: As in, “They’re not equevealent” and “Lacking moteveation” and “Preveacy screens.” Other suitable words: ambevealent (ambivalent), dereveative (derivative) and veveacious (vivacious). Notes: derivative means unoriginal. To be ambivalent is to hold two seemingly contradictory ideas or emotions at the same time.
  • *ivi* → *eve*: As in, “Check your prevelege” and “Ceve-il rights” and “Deve-ine intervention” and “A hive of acteve-ity” and “Treve-ial matters” and “Indeve-idual needs” and “Obleve-ious to their surroundings.”
  • *evi* → *eve*: As in, “Hide the eve-idence” and “Eve-il genius” and “Up for reve-iew” and “Left to your own deve-ices.” Other words that could work: eve-iscerate (eviscerate), eve-ict (evict), eve-idently (evidently), eve-iction (eviction), ineve-itable (inevitable), alleve-iate (alleviate) and reve-ive (revive). Note: to eviscerate is to disembowel. To alleviate is to lighten or ease a burden.
  • *avo* → *eve*: As in, eveocado (avocado), eve-oidance (avoidance), eve-oid (avoid), endeve-or (endeavor), feveourite (favourite). Note: to endeavour is to make an effort.
  • *evo* → *eve*: As in, eve-oke (evoke), eve-olve (evolve), eve-olved (evolved), eve-olution (evolution), maleve-olent (malevolent), reve-olution (revolution) and beneve-olent (benevolent). Notes: to be malevolent is to have ill-intent. To be benevolent is to have goodwill towards others.
  • *ivo* → *eve*: As in, “Eveory (ivory) tower” and “Peve-ot (pivot) point” and “Freveolous (frivolous) spending” and “A peve-otal moment” and “A nasty deveorce.” Note: if something is frivolous, then it’s of little importance. If something is pivotal, then it’s a turning point, or of great importance.
  • Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in” and “Gift yourself a bad name” and “Gift them a hand” and “Gift and take” and “Gift credit where credit is due” and “Gift it a rest” and “Gift it the green light” and “Gift me a call” and “Gift 110%”.
  • Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
  • Gift: Here are some gift-related phrases that could work as a gift pun in the right context: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” and “Gift of life” and “A gift that keeps on giving” and “A gift from above.”
  • Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
  • Present: We’ve included present-related phrases in this list too. Present has two meanings: a gift, and the current moment. We can play with these words to make present puns in the right situation, as in: “No time like the present” and “All present and correct” and “Present company excepted.”
  • *giving: Some giving-related words to play with: caregiving, forgiving, life-giving, misgivings, thanksgiving.
  • Self-*→ Elf-*: As in, “Have some elf-conficence” and “She’s got good elf-control.” Other words that would work with this format: elf-contained, elf-deceiving, elf-deprecating, elf-determination, elf-enrichment, elf-governing, elf-help, elf-improvement, elf-perpetuating, elf-portrait, elf-sufficient.
  • *self→ *elf: As in, “Be your-elf” and “An elf-made business owner” and “Apply your-elf” and “Pull your-elf together” and “I didn’t do it my-elf.” Note: this also works for the plural forms of both self and elf – as in, “Apply your-elves (apply yourselves),” and “Pull your-elves together.”
  • Self*→ Elf*: As in, “An elfish (selfish) person” and “Elfless (selfless) bravery” and “I won’t stand for such elfishness (selfishness).”
  • *alf*→ *elf*: As in, elfalfa (alfalfa), elfredo (alfredo), behelf (behalf – as in, “On behelf of”) and melfunction (malfunction – as in, “Why is the computer melfunctioning?”)
  • Health→ Helf: As in, “A helfy mind in a helfy body” and “Bad for your helf” and “A clean bill of helf” and “Glowing with helf” and “In sickness and in helf” and “A picture of helf” and “Take a helf-y interest” and “Ill helf” and “In the pink of helf” and “Helfy as a horse.” Note: if you’re in the pink of health, then you’re in very good condition.
  • Wealth→ Welf: As in, “Rolling in welf” and “Redistribution of welf” and “Share the welf.”
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Effin’ → Elfin: As in, “Elfin hell” and “Not another elfin word!” Note: Effin’ is shorthand slang for f*cking.
  • Effed → Elfed: As in, “I elfed up” and “It’s completely elfed.” Note: Effed is shorthand slang for f*cked (in the context that something is thoroughly ruined).
  • Half → Helf: As in, “Ain’t helf bad” and “My better helf” and “Getting there is helf the fun” and “Helf a second” and “Helf asleep” and “Helfway to paradise” and “Not helf the man I used to be” and “How the other helf lives” and “Glass helf empty” and “Got helf a mind to…” and “Meet helfway” and “Too clever by helf.”
  • Halve → Helve: As in, “A problem shared is a problem helved” and “Go helves” and “By helves” and “Do by helves.”
  • Eavesdropping → Elvesdropping: As in, “Caught elvesdropping” and “Elvesdropping on.”
  • *ella* → *elfa: As in, “Under the umbrelfa of” and “Let a smile be your umbrelfa” and “A classic novelfa (novella)” and “A spicy vegan paelfa (paella)” and “An a capelfa (capella) choir” and “Miscelfaneous (miscellaneous) goods” and “A stelfar (stellar) review” and “A constelfation (constellation) of stars” and “Down in the celfar (cellar)” and “A late cancelfation (cancellation).”
  • Cinderella → Cinderelfa
  • Eleven → Elelfen: Eleven is a character on the American sci-fi show Stranger Things.
  • *elev* → *elef*: As in, “Count to elelfen (eleven)” and “Elelfated (elevated) to new heights” and “Take the elelfator (elevator)” and “Time for elelfenses (elevenses)” and “The elelfenth hour” and “Stay relelfant (relevant)” and “That’s irrelelfant” and “I don’t see the relelfance” and “Glued to the telelfision (television).” Notes: If something has been done at the eleventh hour, then it’s been done at the very last moment. Elevenses is a type of snack break.
  • Ella Fitzgerald → Elfa Fitzgerald: Ella Fitzgerald was a famous American jazz singer. This could work in a couple of different ways – if someone works with music and is particularly short (short = elf + musician = Ella F.); or if someone is receiving a gift that’s musical in nature (elf = reference to the gift + Ella = reference to musicality of gift).
  • Twelve → Twelf/Twelves: As in, “Twelf/Twelves Night” and “Twelf (or twelves) apostles” and “On the twelf night of Christmas, my true love gave to me..” Note: Twelfth Night is a Shakespearean comedy.
  • Left → Elf’t: As in, “Exit stage elf’t” and “Keep elf’t” and “Elf’t hanging” and “Elf’t, right and center” and “Elf’t to your own devices” and “Out of elf’t field” and “Two elf’t feet” and “Be elf’t holding the baby.” Notes: if someone is “left holding the baby,” then they’ve been left unfairly with a situation or problem that isn’t theirs.
  • *lef* → *elf*: As in, “Lunch elftovers” and “Last on the battelfield” and “Malicious malelfactor.” Notes: a malefactor is someone who breaks the law.
  • *lif* → *elf*: As in, “A prolelfic writer” and “Healthy lelfstyle” and “Exemplelfies the qualities of…” and “You qualelfy for the position” and “Oversimplelfication” and “Suspenseful clelffhanger.”
  • *olf* → *elf*: As in, “Cry welf” and “A welf in sheep’s clothing” and “Out playing gelf.” Couple of other words that could work: werewelf and elfactory. Notes: olfactory is to do with the sense of smell.
  • *ilf* → *elf*: As in, “Welfully disobedient” and “Extremely skelful” and “Pelfering the office supplies” Note: to pilfer is to repeatedly steal small amounts.
  • *ulf* → *elf*: As in, “The Gelf (Gulf) of Mexico” and “Engelfed in emotion” and “Felfilled wishes” and “Waiting for felfilment.” Note: to engulf is to completely surround and cover something.
  • *aff* → *elf*: As in, “Offer elffordances” and “State of elffairs” and “Links and elffiliates” and “Brimming with elffection” and “An elffluent family.” Other words that could work: elffected (affected), elffable (affable), elfford (afford), elffirm (affirm), elffinity (affinity), and elffect (affect). Notes: to be affable is to be easy to talk to. Affluence is an abundance of riches or wealth.
  • *eff* → *elf*: As in, “Elf off” and “Or other words to that elffect” and “Side elffects” and “Spare no elffort” and “Waiting to take elffect” and “An elffective insult.” Other words that could work: elfficacy (efficacy), elfficient (efficient), elfficiency, elffusive. Notes: Effusiveness is an expression of great emotion or enthusiasm. Efficacy is the power to produce a desired effect.
  • *iff* → *elf*: “And now for something completely delfferent” and “Delffuse the tension” and “What’s the delfference?” and “A delfficult situation.” Other words that could work: plaintelff (plaintiff), tarelff (tariff), sherelff (sheriff), clelff (cliff), delfferentiate (differentiate), indelfferent (indifferent) and delffident (diffident). Notes: to be diffident is to not have confidence in your abilities. To differentiate is to discern a difference between things.
  • *off* → *elf*: As in, “A load elff your mind” and “All bets are elff” and “Back elff” and “Bite elff more than you can chew” and “Bite someone’s head elff” and “Blow elff some steam” and “Bouncing elff the walls” and “A chip elff the old block” and “Dance your socks elff” and “Fall elff the wagon” and “Fly elff the handle” and “Fly elff the shelves” and “Get it elff your chest” and “Get elff lightly” and “Get elff on the wrong foot” and “Could see you a mile eff” and “Learned elff by heart” and “Let’s call the whole thing elff” and “Like water elff a duck’s back.” Other off-related or inclusive words that could work: elffset (offset), elffice (office), elffer (offer), elfficial (official), elffensive (offensive), elffence (offence), elfficer (officer).
  • Afghanistan → Elfghanistan
  • Africa → Elfrica
  • *af* → *elf*: As in, “Elfter all,” and “Elfter my own heart,” and “Chase elfter,” and “A delfening silence,” and “Happily ever elfter,” and “Offer elffordances,” and “Selfty first,” and “Be elfraid, be very elfraid.” Other suitable words: elficionado (aficionado), elfire (afire), elfield (afield), bonelfide (bonafide), elfloat (afloat), elflame (aflame), elflutter (aflutter), lelflet (leaflet), elforementioned (aforementioned), elforesaid (aforesaid), elfoul (afoul), elfoot (afoot), elforethought (aforethought), pinelfore (pinafore), elfresh (afresh), elftermath (aftermath), elfterward (afterward), elftershave (aftershave), elfternoon (afternoon), elfterglow (afterglow), elfterthought (afterthought) and elfterlife (afterlife). Note: an aficionado is a lover of a certain activity. If something is bonafide, then it’s genuine and real.
  • *ef* → *elf*: As in, “For your benelfit” and “For future relference” and “Conditioned relflex” and “Relflect badly on” and “Delfault back on” and “Cultural artelfacts.” Other words that could work: nelfarious (nefarious), delfer (defer), benelfactor (benefactor), delfamation (defamation), delfence (defence), prelfer (prefer), delfeat (defeat), delfinition (definition), delfine (define), delfinitely (definitely), benelficial (beneficial), delfiant (defiant) and delficit (deficit). Notes: a benefactor is one that provides help or advantages.
  • *if* → *elf*: Motelfs (motifs), manelfest (manifest), beautelful (beautiful), signelficant (significant), artelfact (artifact), multelfaceted (multifaceted), specelfic (specific), sacrelfice (sacrifice), certelficate (certificate), magnelficent (magnificent), caulelflower (cauliflower), unelform (uniform), pitelful (pitiful), fancelful (fanciful), bountelful (bountiful), dutelful (dutiful), mercelful (merciful).
  • *of* → *elf*: As in, “A paid prelfessional” and “Favourite prelfessor” and “Chosen prelfession” and “Gaining prelfit (profit)” and “Prelfitable ventures” and “Camelflage pants” and “Prelfound thoughts” and “Ecelfriendly and organic” and “Elfentimes (oftentimes)” and “Bleeding prelfusely.” Note: profusely means in large amounts.
  • *elve*: Emphasize the “elve” in these words and phrases: “Smooth as velvet” and “Shelve the issue for later” and “By themselves.”
  • *alv* → *elve*: As in, “Selvege what you can” and “My selveation” and “Gelveanised into action.”
  • *ilv* → *elv*: As in, “Like quickselver” and “Every dark cloud has a selver lining” and “Sell the family selver” and “Selver tongue” and “Hide the selverware” and “A selvery shine.”
  • *olv* → *elv*: As in, “Raised by welves” and “Throw to the welves” and “Selve all your problems” and “Steely reselve” and “Evelved into a better person” and “Don’t invelve me in your problems” and “Abselved of your sins” and “Disselved relationship” and “A develving situation” and “Too invelved” and “The world doesn’t revelve around you.”
  • *ulv* → *elv*: As in, velvea (vulva) and pelverise (pulverise).
  • *av* → *elve*: As in, “An elverage result” and “Elveant-garde art” and “Causing an elvealanche” and “List your elveailability” and “Elvert your eyes” and “All about the elveacado” and “Elveoiding you” and “Selveory snacks.” Other words that could work: elveatar (avatar), elvearice (avarice), carelvean (caravan), aggrelveate (aggravate), elverse (averse), elvenue (avenue), elvenge (avenge), elve-iation (aviation), elve-ian (avian), pelvelova (pavlova), elveow (avow), endelveor (endeavour). Notes: avant-garde means “cutting edge”. Avarice is greed, in particular for wealth or gain. To be averse is to dislike something. To endeavour is to make an effort.
  • *ev* → *elve*: As in, “A late delveloper” and “Software delveloper” and “Current elvents” and “Turn of elvents” and “Positive relveiews (reviews)” and “Hide the elveidence” and “Hard elveidence” and “Annual elvealuations” and “Elveade conversation” and “Looking elveasive” and “Elveacuate the building” and “A prelvealent issue” and “Elven Steven” and “Break elven,” and “Don’t get mad, get elven,” and “An elven chance,” and “Elven handed,” and “Elven in the best of times,” and “Elvery breath you take,” and “Elvery little bit helps,” and “Elverything under the sun,” and “Elvery one and his brother,” and “Thinking of you elveryday,” and “It’ll happen elventually,” and “The elvening news,” and “Elveil (evil) twin.”
  • *iv* → *elve/elf*: As in, “Feeling mot-elve-ated (motivated)” and “A fresh perspectelf” and “Take the initiatelf” and “It is imperatelf that…” Other words that could work: ambelfalent (ambivalent), derelfative (derivative), equelvealent (equivalent) and comprehenselve (comprehensive), elveory (ivory), frelveolous (frivolous), delveorce (divore), delveulge (divulge), relveulet (rivulet). Notes: to be ambivalent is to feel different, contradictory things at once.
  • *ov* → *elve*: As in, “Elvercome with emotion” and “All elver (over) the show” and “A bridge elver troubled water” and “Get elver yourself” and “A standing elveation” and “A grave elversight (oversight)” and “The elverall scheme of things.” Other words that could work: elverlook (overlook), elversee (oversee), elverwhelm (overwhelm), elverlate (ovulate), elverride (override), elvert (overt), innelveation (innovation), pelvelova (pavlova) and supernelvea (supernova). Note: to be overt is to do something in secret or quietly.
  • *rood*→ *rudolph*: Change words that rhyme with “rude” to include “rudolph”: “Debt accrudolph” (accrued)” and “Coffee’s brudolph (brewed)” and “Crudolph (crude) oil” and “Don’t intrudolph (intrude).”
  • Red→ Red-nosed: As in, “As red-nosed as a beetroot” and “Better dead than red-nosed” and “Caught red-nosed.”
  • Nose→ Red-nose: As in, “Always have your red-nose in a book” and “Plain as the red-nose on your face” and “Blow your red-nose” and “Can’t see beyond the end of your red-nose” and “Give somebody a red-nose.”
  • Lay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh a finger on” and “Sleigh down your arms” and “Sleigh down your life” and “Sleigh eyes on” and “Sleigh down the law” and “Sleigh it on thick” and “The sleigh of the land” and “Sleigh down the groundwork.”
  • Said→ Sleigh’d: As in, “After all is sleigh’d and done” and “I couldn’t have sleigh’d it better” and “Easier sleigh’d than done” and “Enough sleigh’d” and “No sooner sleigh’d than done” and “‘Nuff sleigh’d” and “Was it something I sleigh’d?” and “That’s what you sleigh’d.”
  • Sight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “Catch sleigh’t of” and “Hidden in plain sleigh’t” and “Love at first sleigh’t” and “Not a pretty sleigh’t” and “Out of sleigh‘t” and “Set your sleigh’ts on” and “A sleigh’t for sore eyes” and “A sleigh’t to behold” and “Hindsleigh’t is 20/20″ and “Can’t stand the sleigh’t of” and “A sorry sleigh’t.”
  • Slight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “A sleigh’t oversight” and “Sleigh’tly ahead of our time” and “Not in the sleigh’test” and “A sleigh’t misunderstanding.”
  • Slate→ Sleight’: As in, “A blank sleigh’t” and “A clean sleigh’t” and “Wipe the sleigh’t clean.”
  • *sight*→ *sleight*: As in, “I value your insleight” and “An enormous oversleight” and “In hindsleight” and “An insleightful person” and “I wish I had your foresleight” and “A sleightseeing tour.”
  • *sley→ *sleigh: As in, parsleigh (parsley), paisleigh (paisley), Elvis Presleigh (Presley), and Ronald Weasleigh (Weasley).
  • Lay*→ Sleigh*: As in, “The topmost sleigher (layer)” and “Sleighout (layout) designer” and “In sleighperson’s terms.” Note: a layperson is someone with no training or qualifications in a particular subject.
  • Laid→ Sleigh’d: As in, “Get sleigh’d” and “Sleigh’d back” and “Sleigh’d bare” and “Sleigh’d to rest” and “Even the best sleigh’d plans.”
  • *say*→ *sleigh*: As in, “I have an essleigh (essay) due Monday” and “That’s hearsleigh (hearsay)” and “Don’t be a naysleigher” and “The old soothsleigher.” Notes: hearsay is a type of evidence that has a reputation for being untrustworthy or unreliable. A soothsayer is one who predicts the future.
  • *sly→ *sleigh: Use words that end in “sly” to make some corny sleigh puns: “It happened simultaneousleigh” and “Well, obviousleigh” and “You performed flawlessleigh.” Here are some other words that would work with this: surreptitiousleigh (surreptitiously), continuousleigh (continuously), vicariousleigh (vicariously), seamlessleigh (seamlessly), previousleigh (previously), thusleigh (thusly), seriousleigh (seriously), furiousleigh (furiously), carelessleigh (carelessly), shamelessleigh (shamelessly), soundlessleigh (soundlessly), maliciousleigh (maliciously), curiousleigh (curiously), ceremoniousleigh (ceremoniously), tenaciousleigh (tenaciously), frivolousleigh (frivolously), deviousleigh (deviously), fabulousleigh (fabulously), famousleigh (famously), gloriousleigh (gloriously).
  • Sleight: Emphasise the “sleigh” – “Sleigh-t of hand.”
  • Eerie→ Deerie: As in, “A deerie atmosphere.” Note: eerie means creepy.
  • Dairy→ Deery: As in, “Deery is scary.”
  • Dare→ Deer: As in, “Deer for more” and “Deer to be different” and “How deer you!” and “Deer to dream” and “Who deers wins.”
  • There*→ Deer*: Deerfore (therefore), deerby (thereby), deerof (thereof), deerafter (thereafter), deerin (therein).
  • Their→ Deer: As in, “Cut them down in deer prime” and “Swept them of deer feet” and “Everybody and deer brother” and “Put them in deer place” and “Deer bark is worse than deer bite” and “Cats always land on deer feet.”
  • Deal→ Deerl: As in, “I can’t deerl with this” and “Big deerl” and “Cut me a deerl” and “A deerl breaker” and “Deerl from the bottom of the deck” and “Deerl me in” and “Deerl or no deerl?” and “Deerl with it” and “A done deerl” and “Make a deerl with the devil” and “A raw deerl” and “Seal the deerl” and “Strike a deerl” and “Sweeten the deerl” and “The art of the deerl” and “The real deerl” and “Wheeling and deerling” and “The real deerl.” Note: to deal from the bottom of the deck is to use dishonest methods in dealing with a situation.
  • Tears→ Deers: As in, “Blood, sweat and deers,” and “Bring deers to your eyes,” and “Burst into deers,” and “Fighting back deers,” and “It will all end in deers,” and “Moved to deers,” and “No more deers.”
  • Tear*→ Deer*: deerdrop (teardrop) deerful (tearful) deery-eyed.
  • *tary→ *deery: As in, “I’m sick of propriedeery (proprietary) cables” and “Complemendeery (complementary) colours” and “You’re very complimendeery today” and “My new secredeery.” Other words that work with this format: sedendeery (sedentary), documendeery (documentary), rudimendeery (rudimentary), monedeery (monetary), solideery (solitary). Notes: if something is proprietary, then it’s used or made under exclusive legal rights of the maker. To be sedentary is to not be physically active.
  • *ter*→ *deer*: As in, “Explore new deerritory” and “Harsh deerrain” and “Deerrible traffic” and “A deerrific result.” Other words that would work: characdeer (character), madeer (matter), masdeer (master), fosdeer (foster), bedeer (better), compudeer (computer), leddeer (letter), indeerest (interest), ardeery (artery), indeerface (interface), aldeernative (alternative), baddeery (battery), indeernet (internet).
  • Rein: These rein-related phrases may serve as some terrible reindeer puns: “Hold the reins” and “Rein it in” and “Take the reins.”
  • Rain→ Rein: As in, “Right as rein” and “Chasing reinbows” and “Come rein or shine” and “Don’t rein on my parade” and “It never reins but it pours” and “Make it rein” and “Over the reinbow” and “Reindrops keep falling on my head” and “Reining in my heart” and “Reining cats and dogs” and “Singin’ in the rein” and “Spitting with rein” and “Take a reincheck” and “Taste the reinbow” and “The pot of gold at the end of the reinbow.” Note: to take a raincheck is to accept an invitation but with the stipulation that you can only attend or fulfill it at a later date.
  • *rain/ran*→ *rein*: Use words with a “rain” sound in them as a reference to reindeer: “Against the grein” and “Take the trein” and “Bucking under the strein” and “Kindly refrein from feeding the animals” and “My breinchild.” Other words that would work with this: birdbrein (birdbrain), breinchild (brainchild), breinstorm, breinwash, drein (drain), harebreined, reincoat, reindrop, reinfall, reining, reinstorm, reinwater, restrein (restrain), streinger (stranger), treinee (trainee), treiner (trainer), sprein (sprain).
  • *reign→ *rein: As in, “Soverein power.” Note: a sovereign is a monarch, or ruler.
  • *door*→ *deer*: As in, “Ring the deerbell” and “Standing in the deerframe” and “Don’t be a deermat.” Other words that would work: deerway (doorway), deerjamb (doorjamb), deerknob (doorknob), deerstep (doorstep), deerperson (doorperson), outdeer (outdoor), backdeer (backdoor), indeer (indoor), and trapdeer (trapdoor).
  • *dor*→ *deer*: As in, “Lying deermant (dormant)” and “Shared deermitories (dormitories)” and “Deersal fin” and “Street vendeer (vendor).” Other words that would work: ardeer (ardor), candeer (candor), ambassadeer (ambassador), corrideer (corridor), odeer (odour), splendeer (splendour), adeerable (adorable), endeerse (endorse), adeern (adorn). Notes: ardor is great passion or energy. Candor is honesty. To adorn is to decorate.
  • *der*→ *deer*: As in, “Be careful of deerogatory language” and “You’re acting deeranged” and “A deerisive tone.” Other words that would work: deerive (derive), deerivative, deerision (derision), deerelict, ordeer, lardeer, rendeer (render), tendeer, wondeer, disordeer, consideer, leadeer, hindeer, gendeer, engendeer, undeerstand, consideeration.
  • *dur*→ *deer*: As in, “Under deeress” and “Throughout the deeration” and “A deerable phone.” Other words that would work: deering (during), deerability (durability), deerian (durian), endeere (endure), procedeere (procedure), endeerance (endurance).
  • *dar*→ *deer*: As in, “Heart of deerkness” and “Advent calendeer” and “Under the radeer.” Other words that would work: deodeerant (deoderant), standeerd, quandeery, solideerity, mandeerin, and cedeer (cedar).
  • *dir*→ *deer*: As in, “Deerect intervention” and “Going in the wrong deerection” and “Shoot the deerector” and “Playing deerty.” Other possible words: deert (dirt), deerectory (directory), deerectly (directly) and deerective (directive).
  • Chimney: A chimney-related phrase for you to play with: “Smokes like a chimney.”
  • Jiminy→ Chimney: As in, “Chimney cricket!” Note: Jiminy cricket is both a way of swearing and a character in the Disney movie Pinocchio.
  • Wrap: Some wrap-related phrases to include in your gift puns: “It’s a wrap” and “Keep under wraps” and “A riddle wrapped up in an enigma” and “Wrap it up” and “Wrapped around your little finger” and “Wrap in cotton wool.” Some other wrap-related words: wrappedwraparound, rewrap, unwrap and shrinkwrap.
  • Rap → Wrap: As in, “Wrap over the knuckles” and “Take the wrap.”
  • *rap* → *wrap*: As in, “A wrapid exit” and “I’m wrapped! (rapt)” and “Starting thewrapy (therapy).” Other words that could work: wrapport (rapport), wrapacious (rapacious), wrapture (rapture), wraptor (raptor) and wrapier (rapier). Note: to be rapacious is to be greedy.
  • *rep* → *wrap*: As in, “Pwrapare for the worst” and “History wrapeats itself” and “Don’t wraplace what’s not broken” and “If you don’t say it, they can’t wrapeat it” and “Those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to wrapeat them” and “Beyond wraproach.” Note: wraport (report), wraport (report), wrapudiate (repudiate), wrapublic (republic), wrapresent (represent), wrapose (repose), wraply (reply), wraprieve (reprieve), wraplete (replete), discwrapancy (discrepancy), entwrapreneur (entrepreneur), intwrapid (intrepid) and tr-wrapidation (trepidation). Notes: to repudiate is to reject or deny. Repose is pause or rest. To be replete is to be filled to bursting (especially with food).
  • *rip* → *wrap*: As in, “”Let her wrap!” and “Wrap off the bandaid” and “Wrap apart” and “Wrap to shreds” and “Come to gwraps (grips) with.” Other words that could be used: wrapple (ripple), wraposte (riposte), wraptide (riptide), strwrap (strip), outstrwrap (outstrip), scwrapped (script), descwraption (description).  Note: a riposte is a type of counterattack. Note: a riposte is a response.
  • *rop* → *wrap*: As in, “Inappwrapriate behaviour” and “Invest in prwraperty.” Other words that could work: pr-wrapagate (propagate), entwrapy (entropy), Euwrap (Europe), Euwrapean (European), pr-wrapaganda (propaganda). Note: to propagate is to produce a new plant from a parent plant. Can also be used for topics not botany-related. Entropy is the degradation of something.
  • *rup* → *wrap*: As in, “Power cowrapts (corrupts)” and “Maple sywrap (syrup)” and “Civil diswraption (disruption)” and “An abwrapt (abrupt) exit.” Other words that could work: wrapture (rupture), wrapee (rupee), wraple (ruple), chiwrap (chirrup), interwrapt (interrupt), cowraption (corruption), unscwrapulous (unscrupulous), diswraptive (disruptive), diswraptive (disruptive), scwrapulous (scrupulous). Note: to be scrupulous is to be extremely honest.
  • For → Fir: Firs are another tree that are commonly used as Christmas trees, so they’ve made the list too. As in, “Asking fir a friend” and “The most bang fir your buck” and “At a loss fir words” and “I’ve fallen fir you” and “Food fir thought” and “Fir a change” and “Fir crying out loud” and “Fir good measure” and “A sight fir sore eyes.”
  • Four → Fir: As in, “Down on all firs” and “Break the firth wall” and “A fir leaf clover” and “A fir letter word” and “Twenty fir seven.” Note: the fourth wall refers to the imaginary wall between viewers and actors during tv shows or plays.
  • Fair → Fir: As in, “All the fun of the fir” and “All’s fir in love and war” and “By fir means or foul” and “Faint heart never fir lady” and “Fir trade” and “Fir and square” and “Fir and aboveboard” and “Fir enough” and “Fir play” and “Fir game” and “Fir-haired” and “Fir is fir.”
  • *far* → *fir*: As in, “A fond firwell (farewell)” and “Firther down” and “Insofir as” and “A nefirious villain” and “Welfir reform.”
  • Crisp→ Kris: Santa Claus is also known as Kris Kringle, so we can use this name to make some silly Santa puns too. As in, “Burnt to a kris.”
  • Krispy Kreme→ Krispy Kringle
  •  Cringe→ Kringle: As in, “Kringle-inducing” and “Kringleworthy.”
  • Crinkle→ Kringle: As in, “You’ve kringled the paper” and “My dress is kringled now.”
  • *cras*→ *kris*: As in, “Krish and burn” and “A kriss (crass) statement” and “Stop prokristinating!” and “Her idiosynkrisies are part of her charm.” Note: idiosyncrasies are habitual behaviours or mannerisms that a person has.
  • Cres*→ Kris*: As in, “The family krist” and “On the krist of a wave” and “A kriscent moon” and “The scene reached a kriscendo” and “She looked kristfallen.” Note: a crescendo is a slow increase in something – music, atmosphere, emotion etc.
  • *cris*→ *kris*: As in, “A krisis situation” and “A krispy coating” and “Put it in the krisper” and “I won’t stand for such hypokrisy.”
  • *cros*→ *kris*: As in, “A storyline krissover” and “The weekly krissword” and “Animal Krissing” and “At a krissroads” and “Akristic poem” and “Under a mikriscope.” Note: an acrostic is a type of poem that focuses on the first letter of each line in the poem. Animal Crossing is an RPG game.
  • Crus*→ Kris*: As in, “Upper krist” and “Kristaceans (crustaceans) aren’t food.”
  • Ludicrous→ Ludikris: As in, “What a ludikris idea.” Note: to be ludicrous is to be foolish or unreasonable.
  • Crystal→ Kristal: As in, “As clear as kristal” and “Kristal clear.”
  • *chris/chrys*→ *kris*: As in, “A white krismas” and “Krismas is coming” and “A born-again kristian” and “Are you kristened?” and “I love krisanthemums (chysanthemums),” and “It’s about time you emerged from your krisalis (chrysalis).” Note: Chrysanthemums are a type of flower.
    • Nick: St. Nick is another name for Santa, so here are some nick-related phrases: “In good nick” and “In the nick of time.”
    • Neck→ Nick: As in, “At breaknick speed” and “Break your nick” and “Breathing down your nick” and “Nick and nick” and “A pain in the nick” and “Stick your nick out” and “This nick of the woods” and “Up to your nick in trouble” and “Win by a nick” and “By the nape of your nick.”
    • Neck*→ Nick*: As in, nicklace (necklace), nicktie, nicking (necking), nickline, bottlenick, rubbernick, breaknick and turtlenick. Notes: necking is a colloquial term for making out. Rubbernecking is the act of craning your neck to stare at something you find interesting.
    • Next→ Nicks: As in, “America’s Nicks Top Model” and “Better luck nicks time” and “Boy nicks door” and “Knock into the middle of nicks week” and “The nicks generation” and “Nicks in line to the throne” and “Nicks to nothing” and “Take it to the nicks level” and “A week from nicks Tuesday.” Note: America’s Next Top Model is a competitive reality TV show.
    • *nick*: Emphasise the “nick” in certain words to make references to St. Nick in your wordplay: nickel, nickname, Nickelodeon, snicker, finicky, knickers, and persnickety. Note: to be finicky is to be particular or fussy. Persnickety is a synonym for finicky.
    • *nock*→ *nick*: As in, “Well knick me down with a feather” and “What a knickout!”
    • knuckle→ nickle: As in, “Nickle sandwich” and “Nickle dusters” and “Nickle under” and “A white-nickle experience.” Note: a white-knuckle experience is one that was particularly stressful or frightening.
    • *nak*→ *nick*: As in, “Nicked (naked) as the day you were born” and “The nicked truth” and “Lower than a snick’s belly” and “Snick eyes.” Note: snake eyes are when two dice are rolled and both result in a one.
    • Snakes on a Plane→ St. Nicks on a Plane: Snakes on a Plane is a thriller action movie. This pun would work particularly well as a visual/comic pun.
    • Heineken→ Heinicken: Heineken is a beer.
    • *nik*→ *nick*: As in, “A new Nickon camera” and “Part of the beatnick scene” and “A new monicker” and “The artist’s manickin.” Notes: a moniker is a nickname or alias. A beatnik is a stereotype from a literary movement in the 1950s-1960s.
  • Feliz Navidad means “Merry Christmas” in Spanish, and is also the title of a Christmas song. The following section of puns are all plays on this phrase.
  • Fleece → Feliz: As in “Feliz was white as snow” and “They were feliz-ed on the black market.” Note: to be fleeced is to be tricked or cheated.
  • Flee* → Feliz*: As in, “Love is feliz-ting (fleeting)” and “Feliz (flee) the scene.”
  • Flea → Feliz: As in, “Feliz market” and “Wouldn’t hurt a feliz” and “Lie down with dogs, wake up with feliz.” The quote “if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas” is a general warning to keep an eye on the company that you keep.
  • Flies → Feliz: As in “Time feliz” and “Butterfeliz in my stomach” and “Lord of the feliz“. Other “flies” you could use: firefeliz (fireflies), dragonfeliz (dragonflies), mayfeliz (mayflies) and gadfeliz (gadflies). Note: Lord of the Flies is a famous dystopian novel.
  • Christmas tree: Make some extremely obvious Christmas tree puns by taking advantage of phrases that they’re already in – as in, “Done up like a Christmas tree” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
  • Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree” and “Good things come in trees” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men” and “Tree’s a charm.”
  • Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom” and “As tree as a bird” and “Breathe treely” and “Buy one, get one tree” and “Tree for all” and “Treedom of the press” and “Get out of jail tree” and “The best things in life are tree” and “Land of the tree” and “Leader of the tree world” and “The truth will set you tree” and “No such thing as a tree lunch” and “When hell treezes over” and “Think treely.”
  • *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem” and “Full of nutree-ents” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps” and “No streengs attached” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle” and “A treevial problem” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
  • *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables” and “Complimentree meals” and “These colours are complementree” and “Leave it with my secretree” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch” and “It’s rudimentree addition” and “But what’s the monetree value” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
  • *try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again” and “A secret treest (tryst)” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree” and “Bigotree is still rampant” and “Entree level” and “A paltree sum” and “Geometree is everywhere” and “Chemistree lab” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
  • *ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree” and “Structural integritree” and “The citree that never sleeps” and “First-class facilitrees” and “My dutrees come first” and “Beautree isn’t everything” and “A single entitree” and “Maximum securitree.”
  • Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees” and “Christmas tree hugger” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
    • Pine: Pines are a common type of tree used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “Pining away.”
    • Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine” and “Doubled up in pine” and “Drown the pine” and “Feeling no pine” and “Growing pines” and “No pine, no gain” and “On pine of death” and “Pine in the butt” and “Pine in the neck” and “Pinefully slow” and “A royal pine.”
    • Pain* → Pine*: As in, “A picture pinet-s a thousand words” and “Pine-t with a broad brush” and “Pine-t the town red.” Note: to paint with a broad brush is to describe a group of things in general terms.
    • Fine → Pine: As in, “A pine line” and “Cut it pine” and Damn pine coffee” and “Pine and dandy” and “Another pine mess you’ve gotten me into” and “I feel pine” and “Not to put too pine a point on it” and “One pine day” and “Treading a pine line” and “Got it down to a pine art” and “The devil is in the pine print” and “Go through it with a pine-toothed comb.”
    • *pan* → *pine*: As in, “Three’s compiney” and “Wild discrepinecys” and “Judging pinel” and “Expineding our business” and “Run rampinet.” Note: a discrepancy is a difference between two things that should be equal.
    • *pen* → *pine*: As in, pinechant (penchant), pineguin (penguin), pinesieve (pensive), pineding (pending), pinenis (penis), pineinsula (peninsula), pinetrate (penetrate), pineance (penance), opine (open), pine (pen), happine (happen), dampine (dampen), deepine (deepen), sharpine (sharpen), ripine (ripen), propinesity (propensity), indispinesable (indispensable), appinedix (appendix), depinedent (dependent). Notes: a penchant is a fondness for something. To be pensive is to be thoughtful. A propensity is a habit for behaving in a particular way.
    • *pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pinek (pink)” and “The pineacle of health” and “In a pinech” and “Can you pinepoint the location?” and “A pine-t of ice-cream” and “Take him out for a spine (spin)” and “I didn’t ask for your opineon” and “The pursuit of happine-ness.”
    • *pon* → *pine*: As in, “A one trick pineny” and “Time to pineder (ponder)” and “Choose your weapine” and “Discount coupine,” and “Once upine a time,” and “I’m waiting for your respinese,” and “A correspinedence course,” and “With great power comes great respinesibility,” and “Spinetaneous combustion.” Notes: a one trick pony is someone who is skilled in only one area.
    • *pun* → *pine*: As in, “Sucker pinech” and “Be pinectual for the exam” and “A pinegent smell.”
    • *ine* → *pine*: As in, pine-evitable (inevitable), pinertia (inertia), pinexorable (inexorable), pineffable (ineffable), pinept (inept), pinert (inert), pinexplicable (inexplicable), pinevitably (inevitably). Notes: if something is ineffable, then it causes an indescribable amount of emotion.
  • Shoot→ Soot: As in, “Don’t soot the messenger” and “Drive-by sooting” and “Eats, soots and leaves” and “The green soots of recovery” and “Just soot me” and “A sharp sooter” and “Sooting blanks” and “Soot down in flames” and “Sooting from the hip” and “Soot hoops” and “Soot the breeze” and “Soot your mouth off” and “Soot yourself in the foot” and “Soot for the sky” and “Soot [one] a dirty look.”
  • Chute→ Soot: As in, “A golden parasoot,” and “Straight out of the soot.”
  • *suit*→ *soot*: As in, “A sootable choice” and “A new sootor” and “Pack your sootcase!” Other words that will work: sooted (suited), sootability (suitability), sootably (suitably), pursoot (pursuit), lawsoot (lawsuit), wetsoot (wetsuit), jumpsoot (jumpsuit), swimsoot (swimsuit), tracksoot (tracksuit).
    • This next section is dedicated to puns specific to cards (in the sense of Christmas cards and greeting cards).
    • Card → Christmas Card: Make some Christmas puns by relating your wordplay to Christmas/greeting cards: “A few Christmas cards short of a full deck” and “Christmas Card up your sleeve” and “Deck of Christmas cards” and “Hold all the Christmas cards” and “Holding your Christmas cards close to your chest” and “House of Christmas cards” and “Lay your Christmas cards on the table” and “On the Christmas cards” and “Pick a Christmas card, any Christmas card” and “Play your Christmas cards right.”
    • Kardashian → Cardashian: a little play on giftcards/message cards that accompany gifts and Kim Kardashian.
    • Card*: Some card-related/inclusive words: cardinal, cardboard, cardio, cardigan, cardiac, discard, placard, wildcard, timecard, postcard and scorecard.
    • Cared → Card: As in, “I card about you,” and “Run s-card,” and “S-card poopless,” and “S-card to death.”
    • *car* → *card*: As in, “Courtesy and card (care)” and “Drive my card” and “Upset the apple card (apple cart)” and “Couldn’t card less.” Other words that could work: cardeer (career), cardier (carrier), cardiage (carriage), cardavan (caravan), scard (scar), Madagascard (Madagascar), railcard (railcar), handcard (handcar), precardious (precarious), vicardious (vicarious).
    • Cartier → Cardier
    • *cord* → *card*: As in, “A broken recard and “Cut the card” and “For the recard” and “In recard time” and “Off the recard” and “Accarding to…” and “Remain cardial.” Other words that could work: cardially (cordially), carduroy (corduroy), cardon (cordon), discard (discord), accardance (accordance). Notes: to do something cordially is to do it in a friendly way. A cordon is a rope used to define boundaries.
    • *curd* → *card*: As in, card (curd), cardle (curdle) and bloodcardling (bloodcurdling).
    • Drunkard → Druncard
    • *cured* → *card*: As in, “What can’t be card (cured) must be endured” and “Her face was obscard (obscured)” and “Perimeter secard (secured)” and “Procard (procured) the goods” and “Manicard (manicured) lawns.”
    • Certain → Cardtain: As in, “In no uncardtain terms” and “Know for cardtain.”
    • *cor* → *card*: As in, “Cardespondence course” and “Cut the card (cord)” and “In your cardner (corner)” and “The final scard (score)” and “For the recard.” Other words that could work in the right context: cardporation (corporation), cardoborate (corroborate), cardelation (correlation), decard (decor), rancard (rancor), accard (accord), incardporate (incorporate). Note: to corroborate is to add proof to an account. Rancor is a bitter, deeply-ingrained ill-feeling.
    • *cur* → *card*: As in, “The final cardtain (curtain)” and “A cardsory (cursory) glance” and “I concard (concur)” and “That never occard (occured) to me.” Other words that could work: cardmudgeon (curmudgeon), incard (incur), recard (recur), obscard (obscured), secardity (security), cardate (curate), cardiculum (curriculum) and manicard (manicured).
    • *cored → *card: As in, scard (scored), encard (encored) and underscard (underscored).
    • *cred* → *card*: As in, “Street card” and “Take cardit for” and “Nothing is sacard” and “Not cardible (credible)” and “Ruined cardibility.” Other words that could work: cardentials (credentials), cardence (credence), massacard (massacred), incardulous (incredulous). Notes: credence is a mental acceptance of something as being true or real. Being incredulous is not wanting to believe something.
    • Mr. Incredible → Mr. Incardible
  • *angle*→ *angel*:
  • Since angels are commonly placed at the top of Christmas trees, we’ve included them in this list. As in, “What are you angeling for?” and “Love triangel” and “A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangeled” and “It takes two to tangel” and “What a tangeled web.”
  • Star: Since stars are commonly used to decorate the tops of Christmas trees, we’ve included phrases for them in this list. As in, “A star is born” and “Born under a lucky star” and “Catch a falling star” and “Get a gold star” and “Guiding star” and “Written in the stars” and “Reach for the stars” and “A rising star” and “Star wars” and “Star crossed lovers” and “Star quality” and “Starstruck” and “Stars in your eyes” and “When you wish upon a star” and “My lucky star” and “Seeing stars.”
  • *star*: As in, “Can we start?” and “In stark relief” and “A new tech startup” and “Stop staring” and “I didn’t mean to startle you” and “This pasta is very starchy” and “A starter kit” and “You bastard!” and “Doesn’t cut the mustard.” Notes: if something doesn’t cut the mustard, then it isn’t good enough. If something is in stark relief, then it’s been made very obvious.
  • *ster* → *star*: As in, “A starn attitude” and “This area is starile” and “Turn up the stareo” and “Staroids are illegal in sports” and “Aim for the starnum” and “You monstar” and “Addiction is a cruel mastar” and “Fostar kids” and “Am I on the registar?” and “A bolstaring attitude” and “A sinistar presence” and “Mustar the courage” and “Work rostar” and “A cocky roostar” and “It’s unhealthy to judge people based on stareotypes.” Note: to bolster is to support or strengthen something.
  • Stir → Star: As in, “Cause a star” and “Shaken, not starred” and “Star the pot” and “Star up trouble” and “Star-crazy.”
  • Stir* → Star*: Starrup (stirrup) and starring (stirring).
  • *stor* → *star*: As in, “I need to go to the stare (store)” and “My favourite stary” and “A starm brewing” and “Put in starage” and “A two-starey house” and “A convoluted staryline” and “We don’t have to live like our ancestars” and “Impostar syndrome” and “Seed investars” and “Histarical fiction” and “You’re distarting the truth.”
  • Sturdy → Stardy: As in, “A stardy table.”
  • Babble → Bauble: As in, “Baubling on and on.”
  • Bobble → Bauble: As in, “Bauble heads” and “Bauble hat.”
  • Bubble → Bauble: “Bauble and squeak” and “Bauble up” and “Burst your bauble” and “Bauble over” and “Thought bauble.”
  • Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light” and “Bring something to fairy light” and “The cold fairy light of day” and “First fairy light” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low” and “Give it the green fairy light” and “Go out like a fairy light” and “My guiding fairy light” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
  • Tonsil* → Tinsel*: As in, “Tinsel tennis” and “Tinsellitus.” Note: tonsil tennis is a colloquial term of French kissing.
  • Candy → Candy cane: As in, “Easy as taking a candy cane from a baby.”
    • Sack: Change up your Santa puns with these sack-related phrases (referring to the sack Santa carries): “Get the sack” and “Hit the sack” and “A sad sack.”
    • Sock → Sack: As in, “Knock their sacks off” and “Pull your sacks up” and “Put a sack in it” and “Sack it to me!”
    • Sick→ Sack: As in, “Sack as a dog” and “Enough to make you sack” and “One sack puppy” and “In sackness and in health” and “Morning sackness” and “Off sack” and “On the sack list” and “Phone in sack” and “Pull a sackie” and “Sack and tired” and “Sack to death of” and “Sack to the stomach” and “Worried sack.”
    • Shock→ Sack: As in, “Electric sack” and “Culture sack” and “In for a sack” and “Shell-sacked” and “Sack and awe” and “Sack horror” and “A short, sharp sack.” Some other “shock” words: sacked (shocked), aftersack (aftershock), sackwave (shockwave), sacker (shocker).
    • Shake→ Sack: As in, “Bone-sacking” and “A fair sack” and “Sacking my head” and “In two sacks of a lamb’s tail” and “More than you can sack a stick at” and “Sack a leg” and “Sack like a leaf” and “Movers and sackers.”
    • Sec*→ Sack*: As in,”Our best-kept sackret” and “Having sackond thoughts” and “Just a sackond” and “Play sackond fiddle” and “A sackond childhood” and “Sackond nature” and “Two-sackond rule” and “In the wrong sacktion.” Some other sec* words: sackular (secular), sackurity (security), sackure (secure), sackretary (secretary), consackutive (consecutive), sacktor (sector).
    • *sic*→ *sack*: As in, “Blow this popsackle stand” and “Face the musack” and “Make beautiful musack together” and “Physackal (physical) education” and “Back to basacks.” Some other *sic* words: sackle (sickle), sackly (sickly), sackening (sickening), intrinsack (intrinsic), classack (classic), forensack (forensic), physacks (physics), extrinsack (extrinsic), and whimsackal (whimsical).
    • Suc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sack it up” and “Sack it in” and “Sacker punch” and “Be careful who you step on while climbing the ladder of sackcess” and “If at first you don’t sackceed, the hell with it.” Other suc* words: Sackcint (succinct), sackcumb (succumb), sackcessful (successful), and sackcession (succession).
    • *sack*: Other sack-related words for you to play with: ransack, rucksack, hoversack and knapsack.
    • *sac*→ *sack*: As in, “A massive sackrifice” and “Sackrilege!” and “A committee is a cul-de-sack where ideas go quietly to die” and “A completed transacktion” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massackre.”
    • *shack*→ *sack*: As in, “In sackles” and “A ramsackle apartment.” Note: if something is ramshackle, then it looks so carelessly put together that it seems on the verge of collapse.
    • Shakespeare→ Sackspeare
  • Coal: It’s traditional for Santa to leave coal for naughty children, so we’ve included coal-related phrases here: “Black as coal” and “Rake over the coals” and “Like a cat on hot coals.”
  • Goal→ Coal: As in, “A coal in mind” and “Moving the coalposts” and “Score a coal.”
  • Cold→ Coal’d: As in, “Coal’d as blue blazes” and “Coal’d as ice” and “Hot and coal’d” and “Break out in a coal’d sweat” and “Catch a coal’d” and “Catch your death of coal’d” and “A coal’d heart” and “Coal’d calling” and “Coal’d comfort” and “A coal’d day in hell” and “Coal’d feet” and “Coal’d light of day” and “The coal’d shoulder” and “Come in from the coal’d” and “Coal’d, hard cash” and “In coal’d blood” and “A coal’d and frosty morning” and “Left out in the coal’d” and “Out coal’d” and “Revenge is a dish best served coal’d” and “Stone coal’d sober” and “Take a coal’d, hard look.”
  • Cool→ Coal: As in, “Coal as a cucumber” and “Coal beans” and “A coal million” and “Coal off” and “Coal your heels” and “Coal, calm and collected” and “Keep your coal” and “Play it coal” and “A coaling-off period.”
  • Crawl→ Coal: As in, “Coal back into your shell” and “Coal out of the woodwork” and “Don’t try to walk before you can coal” and “Makes my skin coal.”
  • *col* → *coal*: As in, “Coalour (colour) coded” and “A work coalleague” and “In from the coald” and “A stamp coallection” Other words that work with this: coallusion (collusion), coallateral (collateral), coallege (college), coalon (colon), coallaborate (collaborate), coalumn (column), protocoal (protocol), semicoalon (semicolon), chocoalate (chocolate), coallar (collar), coalogne (cologne), Coalumbia (Columbia), coallapse (collapse), coallagen (collagen), scoald (scold).
  • *gol*→ *coal*: As in, “Good as coald (gold)” and “You’re coalden (golden)” and “Do you play coalf (golf)?” Other words that work with this: coalem (golem), coaliath (goliath), coaldilocks (goldilocks), coally (golly), and maricoald (marigold).
  • *cole*→ *coal*: As in: coalslaw (coleslaw) and narcoalepsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a sleeping disorder.
  • Cul*→ Coal*: As in, “Third coalture kid” and “This is not a coalt (cult)” and “Buddhism is about coaltivating kindness.” Other words that work with this format: coalprit (culprit), coall (cull), coalinary (culinary), coalpable (culpable), and coalminate (culminate).
  • Stock→ Stocking: As in, “In stocking” and “Out of stocking” and “Take stocking.”
  • Stick→ Stocking: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but you can make it work: “A stocking to beat you with” and “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stocking” and “Got hold of the wrong end of the stocking” and “More than you can shake a stocking at” and “Short end of the stocking” and “Stocking point.” Note: a sticking point is a point in a discussion where it is difficult to reach an agreement.
  • With* → Wreath*: As in, “Beside myself wreath joy” and “Go along wreath” and “Wreathin (within) reason” and “A force to be reckoned wreath” and “Be wreathout (without)” and “Wreathdraw from the competition.” Other words you could use: wreather (wither), wreathdrawn (withdrawn), wreathstand (withstand), wreathered (withered).
  • Re-th* → Wreath*: As in, “Wreath-inking (re-thinking) your decision.”
  • Everything → Everwreathing: As in, “A short history of nearly everwreathing and “A place for everwreathing and everwreathing in its place” and “Challenge everwreathing” and “Don’t believe everwreathing you hear” and “Everwreathing I do, I do it for you” and “Everwreathing must go” and “Everwreathing under the sun” and “Timing is everwreathing.”
  • Wrath → Wreath: As in, “Face my wreath!” and “A wreathful person” and “The Grapes of Wreath.” Note: The Grapes of Wrath is a classic novel by John Steinbeck.
  • Writhe → Wreath: As in, “Wreathing in discomfort.” Note: to writhe is to wriggle or contort one’s body.
  • Toe → Mistletoe: As in, “From top to mistletoe” and “Get your mistletoe in the door.”
  • Holy → Holly: As in, “Holly moly” and “Holly moses” and “Holly cow Batman” and “Holly mackerel!”
  • Hole → Holly: As in, “Ace in the holly” and “Full of hollys” and “Fire in the holly!” and “A holly in one.”
  • Wholly → Holly: As in, “Holly responsible for…”
  • *hall* → *holly*: As in, “Down the hollyway (hallway)” and “Sing hollylujah” and “Having hollycinations (hallucinations).” Other words you could use: hollycinate (hallucinate), marsholly (marshall) and danceholly (dancehall).
  • *hill* → *holly*: As in, “Go downholly” and “Head for the hollys” and “It’s all downholly from here” and “Make a mountain out of a moleholly” and “Hollyry (Hillary).”
  • Hullabaloo → Hollybaloo: A hullabaloo is chaos or uproar.
  • Hali* → Holly*: As in, hollytosis (halitosis) and hollybut (halibut). Notes: halitosis bad breath. Halibut is a type of fish.
  • *heli → *holly: As in, “Hollycopter parent” and “Double hollyx (helix)” and “Hollyum (helium) balloon.” Note: a helicopter parent is one who constantly hovers over their children.
  • *hil* → *holly*: As in, “Hollyrious (hilarious) joke” and “With hollyrity (hilarity)” and “Eating healtholly” and “Moving stealtholly.” Other suitable words: filtholly (filthily) and lengtholly (lengthily).
  • *hol* → *holly*: As in, “A much-needed hollyday (holiday)” and “Holly (holy) water” and “Blood alcoholly limit” and “Mentholly (menthol) flavoured.” Other words that could work: hollyness (holiness), hollyest (holiest), patcholly (patchouli) and melancholly (melancholy).
  • Andy Warhol → Andy Warholly: Andy Warhol was a famous American artist. This could work with a pop art greeting card, or if one were giving an art-related gift.
  • *hole → *holly: keyholly (keyhole), loopholly (loophole), peepholly (peephole), potholly (pothole) and sinkholly (sinkhole).
  • Nobody→ Snowbody: As in, “Dance like snowbody’s watching” and “Like snowbody’s business” and “Snowbody does it better” and “Snowbody’s perfect.”
  • No→ Snow: As in, “All bark and snow bite” and “All dressed up and snowhere to go” and “In snow time” and “In snow uncertain terms” and “Snow buts” and “Snow holds barred” and “Snow love lost” and “Snow matter how you slice it” and “Snow prizes for guessing” and “Snow two ways about it.”
  • So→ Snow: As in, “Snow on and snow forth” and “And snow on” and “Snow?” and “You think you’re snow clever” and “I wouldn’t go snow far as..” and “How snow?” and “If I do say snow myself” and “Not snow fast!” and “Snow be it” and “Snow far, snow good” and “Snow long as” and “Snow there” and “Why is it snow quiet?” and “You little snow-and-snow.”
  • Know*→ Snow*: As in, “A little snowledge is a dangerous thing” and “A person is snown (known) by the company they keep” and “Don’t I snow it” and “Be the first to snow” and “Better the devil you snow” and “Do you want to snow?” and “Everybody snows” and “For all I snow” and “It’s general snowledge” and “Goodness snows” and “I should have snown better” and “You don’t snow anything” and “It takes one to snow one” and “Snow all the answers” and “Snow by heart” and “I snow for a fact” and “You snow full well” and “Snowledge is power” and “A snowledgeable person.”
  • Show→ Snow: As in, “All over the snow” and “Best in snow” and “Enjoy the snow” and “Get this snow on the road” and “A one-man snow” and “Snow and tell” and “Snow me the money” and “Snow pony” and “Snow some appreciation” and “I’m snowing you the door” and “Snow up” and “Snow your true colours” and “Steal the snow” and “Stop the snow” and “The greatest snow on Earth” and “The snow must go on” and “There’s no business like snow business” and “The only snow in town.”
  • *show*→ *snow*: As in, snowcase (showcase), snowdown, snowboat (showboat), snowroom, slidesnow, and peepsnow.
  • Slow→ Snow: As in, “Snow as molasses in January” and “Can’t snow down” and “Painfully snowly” and “A snow burn” and “Snow, but sure” and “In snow motion” and “Snow on the uptake” and “A snow news day.” Note: if something is slow as molasses in January, then it’s extremely slow.
  • Stow→ Snow: As in, “A hidden snowaway.”
  • No*→ Snow*: As in, “Make a snowte (note)” and “Going snowhere fast” and “Snowbody knows” and “Did you snowtice?” and “What a snowvel (novel) idea” and “On the snowse (nose)” and “Snowble intentions” and “Snowcturnal (nocturnal) sleeping habits.”
  • Now→ Snow: This one is a bit tricky as “snow” and “now” have different pronunciations, but it definitely works visually and is easy to figure out. As in, “And snow for something completely different” and “Can you hear me snow?” and “I can see clearly snow” and “I’ll be leaving you snow” and “It’s all coming back to me snow” and “It’s snow or never” and “I need you snow” and “Snow and again” and “Snow is the winter of our discontent!” and “Snow you’re talking.” Note: “Now is the winter of our discontent” is a quote from Shakespeare.
  • Snow: Use snow-related phrases as terrible snowman puns in the right context: “Pure as the driven snow” and “White as snow” and “Let it snow” and “Snow job” and “A snowball in hell’s chance” and “Snowed under.”
  • Ball→ Snowball: As in, “Break your snowballs” and “Snowballs to the wall” and “Bust your snowballs” and “A different snowball game” and “Dropped the snowball” and “Get the snowball rolling” and “Got you by the snowballs” and “Have a snowball” and “The snowball is in your court.”
  • Man→ Snowman: As in, “A snowman for all seasons” and “A dog is a snowman’s best friend” and “A drowning snowman will clutch at a straw” and “A good snowman is hard to find” and “A snowman after my own heart” and “A snowman among men” and “A snowman’s got to do what a snowman’s got to do” and “I’m not half the snowman I used to be.”
  • Careful → Carolful: As in, “Be carolful how you use it” and “Be carolful what you wish for” and “Let’s be carolful out there” and “You can’t be too carolful” and “Pick your battles carolfully” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a carolfully thought out bad decision.”
  • Carried → Caroled: As in, “Don’t get caroled away.”
  • Scare* → S-carol*: As in, “Running s-caroled” and “S-carol the living daylights out of” and “S-caroled out of your wits” and “S-caroledy cat.”
  • Madagascar → Madagascarol:
  • Circul* → Cir-carol*: As in, “In cir-carolation (circulation)” and “Cir-carolar (circular) reasoning” and “Cir-carolate the news.”
  • Cerulean → Carolean: As in, “Carolean sky” and “Carolean blue eyes.”
  • *paral* → *carol*: As in, “Carolysed (paralysed) with fear” and “Uncarolleled (unparalleled) skill.”
  • *kerel → *carol: As in, macarol (mackerel) and cocarol (cockerel).
    • List: We’ve provided some list-related phrases so you can reference Santa’s naughty/nice list in your Santa puns: “Black list” and “Hit list” and “I’ve got a little list” and “Laundry list” and “Make a list; check it twice” and “Short list” and “Bucket list.” Some other list-related words: listing, listen, listless, populist, enlist, evangelist, journalist, specialist, checklist, stylist, holistic, blister and ballistic.
    • Last→ List: As in, “At long list” and “At the list minute” and “Breathe one’s list” and “Famous list words” and “First impressions list” and “Do you have any list requests?” and “You haven’t heard the list of me!” and “The list bow” and “List but not least” and “List call” and “List chance” and “List ditch effort” and “List gasp” and “List in, first out” and “The list laugh” and “At the list minute” and “List resort” and “List rites” and “The list straw” and “The list taste of freedom” and “List will and testament” and “A listing impression” and “On their list legs” and “Save the list dance for me” and “List I heard” and “Every list one of us” and “Fall at the list hurdle” and “First and list” and “Get in the list word” and “The list thing I want.”
    • Lost→ List: As in, “All is not list” and “Get list” and “Better to have loved and list than never to have loved at all” and “Long list” and “List in translation” and “List and found” and “A list cause” and “List soul” and “List the plot” and “List your marbles” and “Make up for list time” and “Missing, presumed list” and “No love list.”
    • *last*→ *list*: As in, “A listing impression” and “And listly…” and “A list-ditch effort.” Other words that would work with this format: listed (lasted), list-minute (last-minute), blist (blast), blister (blaster), plister (plaster), plistic (plastic), elistic (elastic), everlisting (everlasting), scholistic (scholastic).
    • *lest→ *list: As in, “Live life to the fullist” and “The coolist friend” and “The simplist solution.” Other words that would work with this format: tallist (tallest), smallist (smallest), cruellist (cruellest), shrillist (shrillest).
    • *lust*→ *list*: As in, “A shining listre (lustre)” and “Listrous, shining hair” and “Listful (lustful) glances.” Other words that would work with this format: wanderlist (wanderlust), bloodlist (bloodlust), clister (cluster), illistrate (illustrate), blister (bluster), flistered (flustered), illistration (illustration).
    • *lis→ *list: As in, metropolist, trellist, chrysalist, borealist, and blisst. Notes: a trellis is an architectural structure. A borealis is a natural astronomical light display.
    • *lyst→ *list: As in, “A catalist (catalyst) for change” and “Systems analist (analyst).”
    • Lest→ List: As in, “Judge not, list you be judged” and “List we forget.”
  • Nice→ Ice: As in, “Have an ice day” and “Make ice” and “Ice and easy” and “Did you have an ice time?” and “Ice save” and “Ice try” and “Ice work if you can get it” and “No more Mr. Ice Guy” and “Wouldn’t it be ice?” and “Couldn’t happen to an icer..” Note: to make nice is to be pleasant to someone you dislike or have issues with.
  • Eyes→ Ice: As in, “Avert your ice” and “Bat your ice” and “Bedroom ice” and “Before your very ice” and “Bright ice” and “Brings tears to my ice” and “Cried my ice out” and “Do my ice deceive me?” and “Easy on the ice” and “Ice in the back of your head” and “Ice like saucers” and “Feast your ice on this!” and “I can’t take my ice off you” and “In the ice of the law” and “Keep your ice on the prize” and “Keep your ice peeled.”
  • Ice: These ice-related phrases could serve as some bad snowman puns in the right context: “Cold as ice” and “Break the ice” and “Ice up” and “Ice, ice baby” and “On ice” and “Skating on thin ice” and “Tip of the iceberg.” Some ice-related words that could also work: iceberg, ice-cream and icebreaker.
  • *ice: Emphasise the “ice” in certain words: “Thank you for your service” and “Needs practice” and “Pride and Prejudice” and “Running for office” and “I need your advice” and “Where is the justice?” and “Left to your own devices” and “Not that you’d notice.” Note: Pride and Prejudice is a classic romance novel.
  • Eyes*→ Ice*: As in, “You’re an ice-sore” and “Poor icesight” and “Sultry iceshadow.”
  • *is*→ *ice*: As in, “A thorough analysice” and “A groundbreaking hypothesice” and “Arch nemesice (nemesis)” and “What’s the basice for your belief?” and “All down to logicestics” and “Sophicestication at its finest” and “You never told me otherwice.”
  • *ise→ *ice: As in, “Should any problems arice” and “An exciting premice” and “Adviceory board” and “No promices” and “Exercice your discretion” and “An enterprice-ing individual” and “I require your expertice.”
  • *ize→ *ice: A quick note that these words would have originally been spelled with “ize” using American spelling, and would have been spelled with “ise” using the British/Australian system: “I didn’t realice” and “Do you recognice me?” and “I apologice” and “Don’t patronice me” and “One sice fits all” and “Eyes on the price” and “Galvaniced into action.” Note: to galvanise is to shock or stimulate into action.
  • I see→ Icy: As in, “I call ’em as icy ’em” and “Icy what you did there.”
  • *icy*: Emphasise the “icy” in some words to make some punny snowman jokes: “Open-door policy” and “Honesty is the best policy” and “Not too spicy” and “Like a fish needs a bicycle.”
  • Let→ Letter: Pay homage to the letter-writing tradition with these letter-related puns, as in: “Don’t letter the sun go down on me” and “Don’t letter the bastards grind you down” and “Friends don’t letter friends drive drunk” and “He wouldn’t just letter it lie” and “How do I love thee? Letter me count the ways” and “I won’t letter you down” and “Letter it be” and “Letter it bleed” and “Letter alone” and “Letter bygones be bygones” and “Letter it all hang out” and “Letter it slip through your fingers” and “Letter me be brief” and “Letter nature take its course” and “Letter off some steam” and “Letter me make one thing clear” and “Letter off the hook” and “Letter something slip” and “Letter them eat cake” and “Letter there be light” and “Letter your conscience be your guide” and “Letter your hair down” and “Letter’s call the whole thing off” and “Letter’s do lunch” and “Letter’s face it” and “Letter them down gently.”
  • Let her→ Letter: As in, “Letter rip!” and “Letter down gently” and “Letter have a look.”
  • *letter*: Letterhead, lettering, letterpress, letterbox, newsletter.
  • *latter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t fletter yourself” and “It dropped with a cletter” and “Bring a pletter.” Other words that work: spletter (splatter), slettern (slattern), flettery (flattery).
  • *litter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t be a letterbug” and “Stop lettering” and “Dusted in gletter (glitter).”
  • *lat*→ *letter*: As in, letteral (lateral), articuletter (articulate), confletter (conflate), emuletter (emulate), colletteral (collateral).
  • *lit*→ *letter*: As in, “It’s in the letterature (literature)” and “I meant that letterally” and “That’s very letteral” and “The lettergation (litigation) process.” Note: litigation is a legal process.
  • Letter: These letter-related phrases could substitute as puns in the right context: “Chain letter” and “Four letter word” and “Letter bomb” and “Letter for letter” and “Letter perfect” and “To the letter.” Note: if something is to the letter, then it’s exactly as it’s been outlined, with great attention to detail.
  • Later→ Letter: As in, “Buy now, pay letter” and “Catch you letter” and “It’s letter than you think” and “See you letter alligator” and “Smell ya letter” and “Sooner or letter” and “Can we continue this letter?” and “I’ll call back letter” and “Perhaps letter” and “Ask questions letter.”
  • List→ Wishlist: As in, “I’ve got a little wishlist” and “Laundry wishlist” and “Make a wishlist, check it twice.”
    • Getting → Greeting: These puns are intended to reference greeting cards, or season’s greetings: “Greeting on in years” and “Greeting there is half the fun” and “Greeting things done” and “We’re greeting there.”
    • Grating → Greeting: As in, “Greeting on my nerves.”
    • Naughty: We can reference Santa’s naughty or nice list with these naughty-related phrases: “The naughty corner” and “Naughty but nice.”
    • Nutty→ Naughty: As in, “A sweet, naughty flavour.”
    • Nautical→ Naughty-cal: As in, “A naughty-cal mile” and “Naughty-cal life.”
    • Nought→ Naughty: As in, “Naughty and crosses” and “It’s all come to naughty.”
    • *nut→ *naughty: As in, chestnaughty (chestnut), walnaughty (walnut), doughnaughty (doughnut – could also be donaughty), peanaughty (peanut), coconaughty (coconut), butternaughty (butternut), hazelnaughty (hazelnut).
    • *naut→ *naughty: As in, astronaughty (astronaut), aeronaughty (aeronaut), cybernaughty (cybernaut), juggernaughty (juggernaut).
    • Nice: Make references to Santa’s naughty or nice list with these nice-related phrases: “Have a nice day” and “Make nice” and “Naughty but nice” and “Nice and easy does it” and “A nice place to visit” and “Nice save” and “Nice try” and “Nice work if you can get it” and “Nicely put” and “No more mister nice guy” and “The key to a nice, relaxed evening” and “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and “Couldn’t happen to a nicer..” Notes: to make nice is to behave nicely to someone in an insincere manner.
    • *nis*→ *nice*: Anything with the “nice” sound or that can rhyme with nice can be changed to include the word nice: adminice-ter (administer), agnice-tic (agnostic), banniceter (bannister), botanicet (botanist), businice (business), cynicecism (cynicism), ethniceity (ethnicity), hedonicetic (hedonistic), hygienicet (hygienist), impressionicet (impressionist), happinice (happiness), uniceson (unison).
    • Could→ Good: We can also reference the naughty/nice idea by changing these phrases to include the word “good”, as in: “As fast as his legs good carry him” and “I goodn’t care less” and “I good do it in my sleep” and “I good see you a mile away” and “If looks good kill” and “Good have heard a pin drop” and “Good have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Bad→ Bed: Make more references to Santa’s naughty/nice list with these bad-related phrases: As in, “Bad and breakfast” and “A bad of nails” and “Between you, me and the badpost” and “Early to bad and early to rise” and “Get into bad with” and “Get out of the wrong side of the bad” and “Go to bad with” and “Don’t let the bad bugs bite.” Note: if something is between you, someone else, and the bedpost, then it’s a secret.
    • *bed*→ *bad*: As in, “It’s badlam (bedlam) in here!” and “Strange badfellows (bedfellows)” and “Tears before badtime” and “On your deathbad” and “Trust is the badrock of a good relationship” and “Change the badding (bedding)” and “Why do you look so badraggled (bedraggled)?” and “Meet you in the badroom” and “A hotbad (hotbed) for criminal activity” and “When laws are unjust, civil disobadience is necessary.” Notes: bedlam is a general confusion or chaos. Strange bedfellows are people who are brought together who have little in common. If something is bedraggled, then it looks ruined and dirty.
    • *bad*: Emphasize the “bad” in certain words: badger, badass, badge, badly and badminton.
    • *bid*→ *bad*: As in, “Forbadden fruit” and “Morbad interests” and “To the highest badder.”
    • *bod*→ *bad*: As in, “Anybady who is anybady” and “Bady blow” and “Everybady and their cousin” and “Over my dead bady” and “Spoil somebady rotten” and “They embady the true nature of forgiveness” and “A feeling of forebading” and “The embadiment of kindness.” Note: to embody something is to make it concrete and real.
    • *bud*→ *bad*: As in, “Study baddy” and “Champagne taste on a beer badget” and “Within badget” and “Study Baddhism” and “Badgie smuggler” and “Gather rosebads” and “A treat for your tastebads” and “Contact the ombadsman” and “They wouldn’t badge (budge).” Notes: a budgie smuggler is Australian slang for a type of tight-fitting Speedo. An ombudsman is a public official whose role is to represent and protect public interests.
  • *dually → *jolly: Since Santa is known for being jolly, we’ve got some puns and phrases related to “jolly” for you: indivijolly (individually), resijolly (residually) and grajolly (gradually).
  • *dially → *jolly: As in, cordjolly (cordially), remedjolly (remedially) and primordjolly (primordially). Note: if something is primordial, then it’s existed since the beginning of time.
  • Jelly* → Jolly*: As in, “Peanut butter and jolly sandwich,” and “Jollyfish.”
  • Juli* → Jolly*: As in, Jolly-an (Julian), Jolly-et (Juliet) and Jolly-us (Julius).
  • Stay→ Stoy: Some toy-related puns and phrases, as that’s what Santa’s elves tend to in the workshop: “Inexpensive. And built to stoy that way” and “Outstoy one’s welcome” and “Stoy ahead of the curve” and “Stoy in touch” and “Stoy on course” and “Stoy safe” and “Stoy tuned” and “Stoy together” and “Here to stoy” and “Stoy behind” and “Stoy the distance” and “If you can’t take the heat, stoy out of the kitchen.” Other stay-related words: mainstoy (mainstay), satoy (satay), overstoy (overstay), homestoy (homestay), stoycation (staycation).
  • *toi*→ *toy*: As in, “Down the toylet” and “Pack your toyletries” Other words that would also work: toyletry (toiletry), toyl (toil), tortoyse (tortoise), stoy-ic (stoic), stoy-icism (stoicism).
  • *ty→ *toy: As in, “Let’s partoy” and “Keep your integritoy” and “In the citoy centre.” Other words that will work: serendipitoy (serendipity), facilitoy (facility), dutoy (duty), entitoy (entity), beautoy (beauty), qualitoy (quality), stoyle (style), stereotoype (stereotype), securitoy (security), propertoy (property).
  • Deliver: As in, “Deliver the goods,” and “Same day delivery,” and “Stand and deliver,” and “A special delivery.”
    • Workshop: Since Santa’s workshop is where the magic happens, we’ve included workshop-related phrases and puns in this list. As in, “Santa’s workshop” and “Idle minds are the devil’s workshop.”
    • Work→ Workshop: As in “A workshop in progress” and “All in a day’s workshop” and “Bury yourself in your workshop” and “In the workshops.”
    • Shop→ Workshop: As in, “All over the workshop” and “Like a bull in a china workshop” and “Live all over the workshop” and “One stop workshop” and “Talk workshop” and “Top of the workshop.”
  • Spirit → Holiday Spirit: As in, “Enter into the holiday spirit of it” and “Kindred holiday spirit” and “Lift your holiday spirits” and “Be in good holiday spirits.”
    • Grot* → Grotto*: Make some puns about Santa’s grotto with the following puns: “Grottosque (grotesque) figures” and “The grotto-est room.”
    • *grat* → *grotto*: As in, “Eternally grottoful (grateful)” and “You have my grottotude” and “Grotto-itous (gratuitous) violence” and “Instant grotto-fication” and “Integrotto-ed systems” and “Congrottolations!”
    • *gret* → *grotto*: As in, “Quiet regrotto (regret)” and “Feeling regrottoful” and “Regrottobly low” and “Topped with vinaigrotto.”
  • The following pun section is dedicated to Santa’s reindeer:
    • Dash→ Dasher: Since Dasher is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dash in this list: “Crash and dasher” and “Dasher to pieces” and “Dasher off.”
    • *dish→ *dasher: As in, “What outlandasher (outlandish) claims!” and “Radasher cake” and “Childasher (childish) behaviour” and “A prudasher (prudish) mindset” and “A fiendasher (fiendish) child.”
    • Dance: As in, “Dance around the problem” and “Dance like nobody’s watching” and “Dance the night away” and “Dance your socks off” and “Just dance” and “Lead a merry dance” and “Make a song and dance about” and “Save the last dance for me.” Notes: to dance around the problem is to avoid it. To lead someone on a merry dance is to make things prolonged and complicated for someone. To make a song and dance about something is to make an unnecessarily big deal out of it.
    • *dance→ *dancer: As in, “Take attendancer” and “I need your guidancer and “In abundancer of” and “In accordancer with” and “Good riddancer to bad rubbish” and “Avoidancer techniques.”
    • Dense→ Dance: As in, “The cake should be light and fluffy, not dance” and “Are you dance?”
    • *dence→ *dance: As in, “Where’s the evidance?” and “A measured cadance” and “In confidance” and “Enter into correspondance with.”
    • Pants→ Prance: As in, “Ants in his prance” and “Beat the prance off” and “By the seat of your prance” and “Caught with your prance down” and “Drop your prance” and “Fancy prance” and “Fly by the seat of your prance” and “Keep your prance on” and “Prance on fire” and “Smarty prance” and “Keep it in your prance” and “Keep your prance on.”
    • Prince→ Prance: As in, “A prance among men” and “Prance of darkness” and “Prance of Persia.” Note: Prince of Persia is a video game franchise.
    • Prints→ Prance: As in, “I made some prance to hang on the walls.”
    • Comment→ Comet: As in, “No comet” and “Any questions, comets or concerns?”
    • Come→ Comet: As in, “All good things must comet to an end” and “Good things comet to those who wait” and “As tough as they comet” and “Christmas comets but once a year” and “Comet and get it” and “Comet away with me” and “Comet on over” and “Comet running” and “Comet together” and “Comet again?” and “Comet down hard on” and “Comet down on (someone) like a tonne of bricks” and “Comet full circle” and “Comet hell or high water” and “Comet home to a real fire” and “Comet home to roost” and “Comet in from the cold” and “Comet of age” and “Comet out and play” and “Comet out of the closet” and “Comet out of your shell” and “Comet out swinging” and “Comet rain or shine.”
    • Common→ Comet: As in, “A victory for comet sense” and “As comet as muck” and “Comet ground” and “Comet sense” and “Nothing in comet” and “The comet good.”
    • Cosmic→ Comet: As in, “Comet ordering.” Note: cosmic ordering is the idea that positive thinking without action can help you realise your dreams.
    • Comic→ Comet: As in, “Comet strip” and “Comet timing.”
    • Stupid*→ Cupid*: As in, “Criminal cupidity” and “I’m with cupid” and “Keep it simple, cupid” and “Cupid is as cupid does” and “Very interesting, but cupid.”
    • Kewpie→ Cupid: As in, “Cupid doll” and “Cupid mayonnaise.” Note: kewpie is both a type of doll and a brand of mayonnaise.
    • Done→ Donner: “Been there, donner that” and “Donner and dusted” and “A donner deal” and “Easier said than donner” and “Hard donner by” and “Well donner” and “When all is said and donner” and “I’m donner for.”
    • Do not→ Donner: As in, “Donner look now” and “Donner call us, we’ll call you” and “Donner get me started” and “Donner give up your day job” and “Donner go there” and “Donner hold your breath” and “Donner knock yourself out” and “Donner let the door hit you on the way out” and “Donner tell me what to do” and “Donner believe everything you hear” and “Donner get caught with your pants down” and “Donner knock it til you’ve tried it” and “I donner understand.”
    • Dinner→ Donner: As in, “Donner and a movie” and “A donner date” and “A dog’s donner” and “Guess who’s coming to donner?”
    • Pardon→ Par-donner: As in, “I beg your par-donner?” and “Well par-donner me for living” and “Par-donner my French” and “Par-donner me.” This also works well with other words ending with “don”, like abandon (abandonner), tendon (tendonner), armageddon (armageddonner) and London (Londonner).
    • Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out.”
    • Bliss→ Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out” and “A blitzful slumber” and “Domestic blitz” and “Ignorance is blitz” and “Marital blitz.”
    • Blister*→ Blitzer*: As in, “Blitzering barnacle” and “At blitzering speed” and “Blood blitzer” and “Blitzer pack” and “Blitzering heat.” Note: a blister pack is a type of plastic and foil packaging, usually for medicine.
  • Land→ Lapland: Santa’s workshop is said to be found in Lapland, so we’ve got some Lapland-style puns for you here: “A blot on the laplandscape” and “In the lapland of the living” and “A real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere lapland” and “In the lapland of nod” and “La la lapland” and “Lapland ahoy!” and “Lapland of hope and glory” and “Lapland of make believe” and “Lapland of milk and honey” and “A laplandscape painting” and “Living off the fat of the lapland” and “Never never lapland” and “No man’s lapland” and “Political laplandscape” and “A rough laplanding” and “The waste lapland” and “The lapland of the rising sun” and “The lapland of the free” and “The lapland that time forgot” and “The law of the lapland” and “By a laplandslide” and “The promised lapland” and “Cats always lapland on their feet.” Notes: “a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land” is a line from The Beatles  song “Nowhere Man”. A blot on the landscape is an unattractive part that takes away from the otherwise attractive whole.
  • Internet→ Winternet: As in, “Empowering the winternet generation” and “Surfing the winternet” and “The winternet of things.”
  • Intern→ Wintern: As in, “Looking for winterns” and “I’m winterning this summer.”
  • Winner→ Winter: As in, “Winter takes all” and “Everyone’s a winter!” and “A real winter’s attitude.”
  • Winter Wonderland→ Winter Punderland
  • Fast→ Feast: As in, “Feast as greased lightning” and “Feast as his legs could carry him” and “Bad news travels feast” and “Feast and Furious” and “Going nowhere feast” and “Not so feast!” and “Pull a feast one” and “Think feast.” Notes: to pull a fast one is to trick someone.
  • Feisty→ Feasty: As in, “A feasty character” and “Feasty words.” Note: feisty means ready to fight.
  • Faced→ Feast: As in, “Too-feast” and “Fresh feast” and “A bald-feast lie” and “Time you feast the truth.”
  • Least→ Feast: As in, “At the very feast” and “Not in the feast” and “To say the feast” and “Last but not feast” and “The line of feast resistance.”
  • Beast→ Feast: As in, “Beauty and the Feast” and “Here there be feasts” and “The nature of the feast” and “Unleash the feast.”
  • *fas*→ *feast*: As in, “Feasten your seatbelts” and “Feast asleep” and “Moving in feast-forward” and “On the feast track to success” and “Skipping breakfeast” and “Holding steadfeast” and “Feastidiously (fastidiously) clean.” Notes: to be steadfast is to be loyal and consistent. To be fastidious is to be very fussy and particular about details.
  • *fes*→ *feast*: As in, “Feastering wound” and “Join the feastivities” and “Feastooned with ribbons” and “A feastive atmosphere.” Other words you could use: manifeast (manifest), manifeasto (manifesto) and manifeastation (manifestation). Notes: A festoon is a hanging ornament. If something is manifest, then it’s able to be perceived. A manifesto is a document of principles.
  • *face*→ *feast*: As in: interfeast (interface), surfeast (surface) and multifeasted (multifaceted).
  • *fist*→ *feast*: As in, “Feastful of dollars” and “Feast of steel” and “With an iron feast.” Other words you could use: feasticuffs (fisticuffs), feastfight and pacifeast (pacifist).
  • *feas*→ *feast*: As in, “It’s not feastible” and “Think of the feastibility.” Note: feasible means practical to achieve or do.
  • First→ Frost: As in, “A world frost” and “At frost blush” and “Be the frost to know” and “Cast the frost stone” and “Frost blood” and “Frost come, frost served” and “Frost impressions last” and “Frost rate” and “Frost things frost” and “Head frost” and “Love at frost sight” and “Safety frost.”
  • *first*→ *frost*: Frosthand, frostly (firstly), frostborn, frost-rate, frost aid, headfrost, feet frost.
  • Foe→ Froze: As in, “Friend or froze?”
  • Flow*→ Froze*: As in, “Ebb and froze” and “Get the creative juices froze-ing” and “Go with the froze.”
  • Ferocious→ Frozecious: As in, “A frozecious facial expression.”
  • Cook → Cookie: Since it’s a tradition to leave milk and cookies for Santa, we’ve included cookie puns in this list too: “Cookie up a storm” and “Cookie-ing with gas” and “Too many cookies spoil the broth.”
  • Cookie: Some cookie-related phrases for you to use as puns: “A tough cookie,” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie jar,” and “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
  • Milk: To go with out cookie phrases, here are some milk-related phrases: “Mild as milk,” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” and “Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy,” and “Land of milk and honey,” and “The milk of human kindness.”
  • Fruit → Fruitcake: Fruitcakes are commonly served at Christmas, so we’ve included them in this list: “Forbidden fruit cake” and “Fruit cakes of your labor” and “Low hanging fruit cake.”
  • Cake → Fruitcake: As in, “A slice of the fruitcake” and “Fruitcake or death” and “Fruitcake walk” and “Fruitcaked with mud” and “Coffee and fruitcakes” and “Icing on the fruitcake” and “Let them eat fruitcake” and “Piece of fruitcake” and “Shut your fruitcake hole” and “Takes the fruitcake” and Cherry on the fruitcake” and “Have your fruitcake and eat it too.” Note: if something is a cakewalk, then it’s very easy.
  • Inaugural → Eggnogural: The next few puns are centered around eggnog, which is traditionally served at Christmas. Note that while eggnog has historically been made with egg, there are delicious and easy eggless recipes out there too. As in, “Eggnogural address” and “Eggnogural speech.” Note: an inauguration is a formal beginning.
  • Knock* → Eggnog*: As in, “I get eggnog-ed down, but I get up again” and “Eggnog on wood” and “Eggnog back a few” and “Eggnog into shape” and “Eggnog it off!” and “Eggnog something together” and “Eggnog the stuffing out of.”
  • Ignorance → Eggnogrance: As in, “Eggnogrance is bliss.”
  • Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light” and “Bring something to fairy light” and “The cold fairy light of day” and “First fairy light” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low” and “Give it the green fairy light” and “Go out like a fairy light” and “My guiding fairy light” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
  • Paddington → Puddington: Paddington bear is a children’s character.
  • Putting → Pudding: As in, “Off-pudding” and “Pudding things away” and “You’re pudding me down.”
  • Padding → Pudding: As in, “Pudding across the room barefoot” and “Cotton pudding.”
  • I see→ Icy: As in, “I call ’em as icy ’em” and “Icy what you did there.”
  • Nice→ Ice: As in, “Have an ice day” and “Make ice” and “Ice and easy” and “Did you have an ice time?” and “Ice save” and “Ice try” and “Ice work if you can get it” and “No more Mr. Ice Guy” and “Wouldn’t it be ice?” and “Couldn’t happen to an icer..” Note: to make nice is to be pleasant to someone you dislike or have issues with
  • Eyes→ Ice: As in, “Avert your ice,” and “Bat your ice” and “Bedroom ice” and “Before your very ice” and “Bright ice” and “Brings tears to my ice” and “Cried my ice out” and “Do my ice deceive me?” and “Easy on the ice” and “Ice in the back of your head” and “Ice like saucers” and “Feast your ice on this!” and “I can’t take my ice off you” and “In the ice of the law” and “Keep your ice on the prize” and “Keep your ice peeled.”
  • Ice: These ice-related phrases could serve as some bad snowman puns in the right context: “Cold as ice” and “Break the ice” and “Ice up” and “Ice, ice baby” and “On ice” and “Skating on thin ice” and “Tip of the iceberg.” Some ice-related words that could also work: iceberg, ice-cream and icebreaker.
  • *ice: Emphasise the “ice” in certain words: “Thank you for your service” and “Needs practice” and “Pride and Prejudice” and “Running for office” and “I need your advice” and “Where is the justice?” and “Left to your own devices” and “Not that you’d notice.” Note: Pride and Prejudice is a classic romance novel.
  • Eyes*→ Ice*: As in, “You’re an ice-sore” and “Poor icesight” and “Sultry iceshadow.”
  • *is*→ *ice*: As in, “A thorough analysice” and “A groundbreaking hypothesice” and “Arch nemesice (nemesis)” and “What’s the basice for your belief?” and “All down to logicestics” and “Sophicestication at its finest” and “You never told me otherwice.”
  • *ise→ *ice: As in, “Should any problems arice” and “An exciting premice” and “Adviceory board” and “No promices” and “Exercice your discretion” and “An enterprice-ing individual” and “I require your expertice.”
  • *ize→ *ice: A quick note that these words would have originally been spelled with “ize” using American spelling, and would have been spelled with “ise” using the British/Australian system: “I didn’t realice” and “Do you recognice me?” and “I apologice” and “Don’t patronice me” and “One sice fits all” and “Eyes on the price” and “Galvaniced into action.” Note: to galvanise is to shock or stimulate into action.
  • Mustard → Custard: As in, “Cut the custard” and “Keen as custard.” Note: if something cuts the mustard, then it’s been deemed to be good enough.
  • Reason → Season: As in, “Ain’t no season to go elsewhere” and “Beyond seasonable doubt” and “Stands to season” and “Listen to season” and “Rhyme or season.”
  • Seize → Season: As in, “Season him!” and “Season the day.”
  • Seas → Season: As in, “On the high season” and “A season change” and “All at season” and “Completely at season” and “At season level” and “Between the devil and the deep blue season” and “From season to shining season.”
  • Cherry→ Sherry: In some countries, it’s a tradition to leave sherry for Santa, so we’ve got some sherry-related puns in here too: “Sherry pick” and “Sherry pie” and “Sherry ripe” and “A second bite of the sherry” and “The sherry on the cake” and “A bowl of sherries.”
  • Share→ Sherry: As in, “A problem sherry’ed is a problem halved” and “A lion’s sherry” and “Sherry and sherry alike” and “Learn to sherry.”
  • Sheer→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry driving pleasure” and “Sherry madness” and “Sherry nonsense.”
  • Dear → Beer: In Australia, it’s a tradition to leave beers (rather than milk) for Santa along with cookies, so we’ve included beer puns for you to use: “Oh beer me” and “Hang on for beer life” and “Near and beer to my heart” and “Elementary, my beer Watson.”
  • Ear → Beer: As in “Grin from beer to beer” and “Let’s play it by beer” and “Lend a beer” and “In one beer and out the other.”
  • Peer → Beer: As in “Beer pressure” and “It’s like she was beering into my soul.”
  • Pier → Beer: As in “Take a long walk off a short beer.”
  • Bear → Beer: As in “Grizzly beer” and “Beer a resemblance” and “The right to beer arms” and “Beer down upon” and “Bear witness to …” and “Beer false witness” and “Beer fruit” and “Beer in mind that …” and “Bring to beer“. For other beer-related puns, see our beer puns list.
    • Care at→ Carrot: Since carrots are traditionally used as a nose when building snowmen, we’ve included carrots in this list: As in, “I couldn’t carrot all.”
    • Care about→ Carrot bout: As in, “Why should I carrot ’bout that?”
    • Carat→ Carrot: As in, “24 carrot gold.”
    • Rot→ Carrot: As in, “Carrot in hell!” and “Spoiled carrotten.”
    • Carrot: Use a couple of carrot-related phrases in your snowman wordplay: “Carrot and stick” and “Dangle the carrot.”
  • *ber*→ *brr*: As in, “Brry flavoured” and “Stop brrr-ating (berating) me” and “A wide brrth (berth)” and “Going brrrserk (berserk).” Other words that would work: brreft (bereft), brreavement (bereavement), numbrr, chambrr, ubrr (uber), sobrr (sober), fibrr (fiber), ambrr (amber), membrr, calibrr, remembrr, delibrrate, librral (liberal), librrty (liberty), abrration (aberration), cumbrrsome.
  • *bor* → *brr*: As in, “Beg, steal or brrow (borrow)” and “Dying from brredom” and “Unpaid labrr” and “Harbrring (harbouring) a fugitive” and “Good neighbrrs” and “An elabrrate plan.” Other words that could be used: corrobrrate (corroborate), collabrrate (collaborate), stubbrrn (stubborn).
  • *bur*→ *brr*: As in, “Brrst my bubble” and “Brrning the midnight oil” and “A heavy brrden (burden)” and “Brry (bury) the hatchet.” Other words that could work: reimbrrsement, brrrow (burrow), brrgeoning (burgeoning), brr (burr), excalibrr (excalibur), brrito (burrito).
  • You log → Yule log: As in, “Have yule logged on yet?” This is a very specific pun that refers to yule logs (large logs that are burned on Christmas Eve).
  • Grandchild* → Grinch-ild*: As in, “For my grinch-ildren” and “My youngest grinch-ild.” Note: the grinch is a fictional Christmas character.
  • Inch → Grinch: As in, “Give a grinch and they’ll take a mile” and “Half a grinch” and “Grinching along.”

The following section is specific to song titles that have been changed to include Christmas-related words:

  • Say My Name → Sleigh My Name (a song by Destiny’s Child)
  • Single Ladies → Jingle Ladies (by Beyonce)
  • Winter Wonderland → Winter Punderland (already a Christmas song, now made punny. )
  • Enter Sandman → Enter Santaman (a heavy metal song by Metallica)
  • Bootylicious → Sootylicious (another Destiny’s Child song)
  • Hollaback Girl → Ho Ho Hollaback Girl (A pop song by Gwen Stefani)
  • Call Me Maybe → Coal Me Maybe (by Carly Rae Jepsen)
  • Let It Go → Let It Snow: (from Disney’s Frozen – although “Let It Snow” is also a line from a separate Christmas song)
  • I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing → I Don’t Want To Mistletoe A Thing (a power ballad by Aerosmith)
  • Bohemian Rhapsory → Bohemian Wrapsody: (a classic by Queen).

Christmas-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Christmas puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

christmas, xmas, christmastide, ho ho ho, merry, yule, yuletide, noel, feliz navidad, eve, gifts, present, santa, claus, father christmas, saint nick/nicholas, kris kringle, naughty, nice, good, bad, jolly, elves, elf, reindeer, rudolph, red-nosed, sleigh, chimney, soot, christmas tree, christmas card, angel, star, bauble, tinsel, candy cane, wrapping paper, sack, coal, stocking, stocking stuffer,  tree, wreath, holly, mistletoe, carol, list, letter, 25th december, wishlist, greetings, holiday spirit, toys, candy, deliver, workshop, snowman, grotto, north pole, snow, snowy, snowball, christmas eve, dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, lapland, mrs. claus, cookies, milk, fruit cake, eggnog, pudding, custard, gingerbread, season, carrot, hat, scarf, ice, winter, winter wonderland, snowflake, frozen, give, giving,  sherry, beer, feast, cracker, lights, yule log, pudding, grinch

Songs: jingle bells, joy to the world, little drummer boy, holy night, white christmas, let it snow, deck the halls

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Christmas Tree Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Christmas tree puns! 🎄👼🏼🌟

Organising a Christmas tree is one of the more traditional ways to spend time with family and loved ones. Finding a suitable tree, bringing it home, decorating it – it’s a fairly intensive process when you really get down to it. Make the quality time spent even more painful for your loved ones with our terrible Christmas tree puns. We’ve lovingly curated this list to include different types of trees and the wide range of decorations used on them, and we hope that you find the Christmas tree pun that you’re looking for.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive as possible, this list is specific to Christmas trees. We also have lists on tree punsleaf puns, reindeer puns and Santa puns and will have more Christmas-specific lists coming soon!

Christmas Tree Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Christmas trees that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Christmas tree puns:

  • Christmas tree: Make some extremely obvious Christmas tree puns by taking advantage of phrases that they’re already in – as in, “Done up like a Christmas tree,” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree,” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
  • Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree,” and “Good things come in trees,” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men,” and “Tree’s a charm.”
  • Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom,” and “As tree as a bird,” and “Breathe treely,” and “Buy one, get one tree,” and “Tree for all,” and “Treedom of the press,” and “Get out of jail tree,” and “The best things in life are tree,” and “Land of the tree,” and “Leader of the tree world,” and “The truth will set you tree,” and “No such thing as a tree lunch,” and “When hell treezes over,” and “Think treely.”
  • For → Fir: Firs are another tree that are commonly used as Christmas trees, so they’ve made the list too. As in, “Asking fir a friend,” and “The most bang fir your buck,” and “At a loss fir words,” and “I’ve fallen fir you,” and “Food fir thought,” and “Fir a change,” and “Fir crying out loud,” and “Fir good measure,” and “A sight fir sore eyes.”
  • Leave → Leaf: “Take it or leaf it” and “Absent without leaf” and “You should leaf now.” and  “Leaf an impression” and “Leafed for dead” and “Leaf it at that” and “Leaf me alone!” and “Leaf of absence” and “Leaf out in the cold” and “Take leaf” and “Leafing so soon?”
  •  Wouldn’t→ Wooden: As in, “Nuttelex wooden melt in their mouth,” and “I wooden hurt a fly,” and “Wooden you know it?” and “I wooden touch it with a 10 ft pole.” Note: Nuttelex is a vegan substitute for butter.
  • *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem,” and “Full of nutree-ents,” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality,” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps,” and “No streengs attached,” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger,” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle,” and “A treevial problem,” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
  • *trea*→ *tree*: As in, “A real treet,” and “Medical treetment,” and “Royal treeson,” and “I treesure you,” and “Thick as treecle,” and “Swim upstreem,” and “A holiday retreet,” and “A winning streek,” and “A treecherous mountain path.”
  • *tee*→ *tree*: As in, “By the skin of your treeth,” and “The scene was treeming with people,” and “I guarantree it,” and “A welcoming committree,” and “A chunky manatree,” and “Self-estreem,” and “Charitable voluntreers,” and “My child’s school cantreen.”
  • *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables,” and “Complimentree meals,” and “These colours are complementree,” and “Leave it with my secretree,” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy,” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch,” and “It’s rudimentree addition,” and “But what’s the monetree value,” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
  • *try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again,” and “A secret treest (tryst),” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree,” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree,” and “Bigotree is still rampant,” and “Entree level,” and “A paltree sum,” and “Geometree is everywhere,” and “Chemistree lab,” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
  • *ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree,” and “Structural integritree,” and “The citree that never sleeps,” and “First-class facilitrees,” and “My dutrees come first,” and “Beautree isn’t everything,” and “A single entitree,” and “Maximum securitree.”
  • Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree,” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree,” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees,” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees,” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks,” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave,” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees,” and “Christmas tree hugger,” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
  • Angel: Since angels are commonly placed at the top of Christmas trees, we’ve included common phrases for them in this list: “Enough to make angels weep,” and “A fallen angel,” and “Guardian angel,” and “I believe in angels,” and “On the side of the angels,” and “The angel of death,” and “Angel’s advocate.” Note: an angel’s advocate is someone who sees the good in an idea and supports it.
  • *angle*→ *angel*: As in, “What are you angeling for?” and “Love triangel,” and “A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangeled,” and “It takes two to tangel,” and “What a tangeled web.”
  • Star: Since stars are commonly used to decorate the tops of Christmas trees, we’ve included phrases for them in this list. As in, “A star is born,” and “Born under a lucky star,” and “Catch a falling star,” and “Get a gold star,” and “Guiding star,” and “Written in the stars,” and “Reach for the stars,” and “A rising star,” and “Star wars,” and “Star crossed lovers,” and “Star quality,” and “Starstruck,” and “Stars in your eyes,” and “When you wish upon a star,” and “My lucky star,” and “Seeing stars.”
  • *star*: As in, “Can we start?” and “In stark relief,” and “A new tech startup,” and “Stop staring,” and “I didn’t mean to startle you,” and “This pasta is very starchy,” and “A starter kit,” and “You bastard!” and “Doesn’t cut the mustard.” Notes: if something doesn’t cut the mustard, then it isn’t good enough. If something is in stark relief, then it’s been made very obvious.
  • *ster* → *star*: As in, “A starn attitude,” and “This area is starile,” and “Turn up the stareo,” and “Staroids are illegal in sports,” and “Aim for the starnum,” and “You monstar,” and “Addiction is a cruel mastar,” and “Fostar kids,” and “Am I on the registar?” and “A bolstaring attitude,” and “A sinistar presence,” and “Mustar the courage,” and “Work rostar,” and “A cocky roostar,” and “It’s unhealthy to judge people based on stareotypes.” Note: to bolster is to support or strengthen something.
  • Stir → Star: As in, “Cause a star,” and “Shaken, not starred,” and “Star the pot,” and “Star up trouble,” and “Star-crazy.”
  • Stir* → Star*: Starrup (stirrup) and starring (stirring).
  • *stor* → *star*: As in, “I need to go to the stare (store),” and “My favourite stary,” and “A starm brewing,” and “Put in starage,” and “A two-starey house,” and “A convoluted staryline,” and “We don’t have to live like our ancestars,” and “Impostar syndrome,” and “Seed investars,” and “Histarical fiction,” and “You’re distarting the truth.”
  • Sturdy → Stardy: As in, “A stardy table.”
  • Babble → Bauble: As in, “Baubling on and on.”
  • Bobble → Bauble: As in, “Bauble heads,” and “Bauble hat.”
  • Bubble → Bauble: “Bauble and squeak,” and “Bauble up,” and “Burst your bauble,” and “Bauble over,” and “Thought bauble.”
  • Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light,” and “Bring something to fairy light,” and “The cold fairy light of day,” and “First fairy light,” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low,” and “Give it the green fairy light,” and “Go out like a fairy light,” and “My guiding fairy light,” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
  • Very → Fairy: As in, “Be afraid, be fairy afraid,” and “Before your fairy eyes,” and “How fairy dare you,” and “Thank you fairy much,” and “At the fairy least,” and “Efairy bit,” and “Efairy nook and cranny,” and “Efairybody and their mother,” and “There for efairyone to see.”
  • Candy → Candy cane: As in, “Easy as taking a candy cane from a baby.”
  • Present: We put gifts and presents under Christmas trees, so we’ve included these words in this list too. As in, “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.”
  • Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present,” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
  • Gift: As in, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “Gift of life,” and “A gift that keeps on giving,” and “A gift from above.”
  • Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in,” and “Gift yourself a bad name,” and “Gift them a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift it a rest,” and “Gift it the green light,” and “Gift me a call,” and “Gift 110%”.
  • Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
  • Pine: Pines are a common type of tree used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “Pining away.”
  • Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine,” and “Doubled up in pine,” and “Drown the pine,” and “Feeling no pine,” and “Growing pines,” and “No pine, no gain,” and “On pine of death,” and “Pine in the butt,” and “Pine in the neck,” and “Pinefully slow,” and “A royal pine.”
  • Pain* → Pine*: As in, “A picture pinet-s a thousand words,” and “Pine-t with a broad brush,” and “Pine-t the town red.” Note: to paint with a broad brush is to describe a group of things in general terms.
  • Fine → Pine: As in, “A pine line,” and “Cut it pine,” and Damn pine coffee,” and “Pine and dandy,” and “Another pine mess you’ve gotten me into,” and “I feel pine,” and “Not to put too pine a point on it,” and “One pine day,” and “Treading a pine line,” and “Got it down to a pine art,” and “The devil is in the pine print,” and “Go through it with a pine-toothed comb.”
  • *pan* → *pine*: As in, “Three’s compiney,” and “Wild discrepinecys,” and “Judging pinel,” and “Expineding our business,” and “Run rampinet.” Note: a discrepancy is a difference between two things that should be equal.
  • *pen* → *pine*: As in, pinechant (penchant), pineguin (penguin), pinesieve (pensive), pineding (pending), pinenis (penis), pineinsula (peninsula), pinetrate (penetrate), pineance (penance), opine (open), pine (pen), happine (happen), dampine (dampen), deepine (deepen), sharpine (sharpen), ripine (ripen), propinesity (propensity), indispinesable (indispensable), appinedix (appendix), depinedent (dependent). Notes: a penchant is a fondness for something. To be pensive is to be thoughtful. A propensity is a habit for behaving in a particular way.
  • *pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pinek (pink),” and “The pineacle of health,” and “In a pinech,” and “Can you pinepoint the location?” and “A pine-t of ice-cream,” and “Take him out for a spine (spin),” and “I didn’t ask for your opineon,” and “The pursuit of happine-ness.”
  • *pon* → *pine*: As in, “A one trick pineny,” and “Time to pineder (ponder),” and “Choose your weapine,” and “Discount coupine,” and “Once upine a time,” and “I’m waiting for your respinese,” and “A correspinedence course,” and “With great power comes great respinesibility,” and “Spinetaneous combustion.” Notes: a one trick pony is someone who is skilled in only one area.
  • *pun* → *pine*: As in, “Sucker pinech,” and “Be pinectual for the exam,” and “A pinegent smell.”
  • *ine* → *pine*: As in, pine-evitable (inevitable), pinertia (inertia), pinexorable (inexorable), pineffable (ineffable), pinept (inept), pinert (inert), pinexplicable (inexplicable), pinevitably (inevitably). Notes: if something is ineffable, then it causes an indescribable amount of emotion.
  • Corner → Conifer: Conifers are a type of tree commonly used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “A tight conifer,” and “All conifers of the world,” and “Conifer the market,” and “Cut conifers,” and “Drive them into a conifer,” and “The naughty conifer,” and “Just around the conifer,” and “From the conifer of my eye.”
  • Spruce: As spruces are a commonly used as Christmas trees, we’ve included them in this list. You can easily make some bad puns with phrases that include the word spruce, like “Spruce up.”
  • Space → Spruce: As in, “In deep spruce,” and “In spruce, no one can hear you scream,” and “Personal spruce,” and “A waste of spruce,” and “Watch this spruce,” and “Taking up spruce.”
  • Four → Fir: As in, “Down on all firs,” and “Break the firth wall,” and “A fir leaf clover,’ and “A fir letter word,” and “Twenty fir seven.” Note: the fourth wall refers to the imaginary wall between viewers and actors during tv shows or plays.
  • Fair → Fir: As in, “All the fun of the fir,” and “All’s fir in love and war,” and “By fir means or foul,” and “Faint heart never fir lady,” and “Fir trade,” and “Fir and square,” and “Fir and aboveboard,” and “Fir enough,” and “Fir play,” and “Fir game,” and “Fir-haired,” and “Fir is fir.”
  • *far* → *fir*: As in, “A fond firwell (farewell),” and “Firther down,” and “Insofir as,” and “A nefirious villain,” and “Welfir reform.”
  • *fer* → *fir*: As in, “Firal (feral) behaviour,” and “A firvent belief,” and “He talked with firvour,” and “Firmented tofu,” and “A firocious effort,” and “Firtile land,” and “The local firry (ferry),” and “I defirred my enrolment,” and “Let me confir,” and “Do you have any refirences?” and “A kind offir,” and “I’ll transfir some money over,” and “A firm buffir,” and “I prefir tea over coffee,” and “What a diffirent attitude.”
  • *for* → *fir*: As in, “Pay it firward,” and “Have you firsaken me?” and “What’s the fircast look like?” and “So on and so firth,” and “I firbid you!” and “The infirmation desk,” and “The opening perfirmance.”
  • *fir*: Make some fir puns by emphasising words that have “fir” in them: first, affirm, confirm, firsthand and affirmative.
  • *fur* → *fir*: As in, firther (further), firniture (furniture), firtive (furtive), firthermore (furthermore), firnace (furnace), firnish (furnish), sulfir (sulfur). Note: to be furtive is to be secretive.
  • *fair* → *fir*: Firy (fairy), firly (fairly), firness (fairness), firytale (fairytale), firway (fairway).
  • Wood: Make some terrible Christmas tree puns by making wood references with these wood-related phrases: “Can’t see the wood for the trees,” and “Come out of the woodwork,” and “Cut out the dead wood,” and “Knock on wood,” and “Out of the woods,” and “This neck of the woods.” Notes: If you can’t see the wood for the trees, then you’re unable to see a situation clearly due to being too involved in it. To be out of the woods it to be out of a dangerous situation.
  • Would → Wood: As in, “As good luck wood have it,” and “Chance wood be a fine thing,” and “That wood be telling,” and “Woodn’t get out of bed for,” and “Woodn’t hurt a fly.”
  • Leaves: “It leaves a lot to be desired” and “It leaves a bad taste in your mouth”
  • *lease→ *leaf: As in, “A new leaf on life,” and “Releaf me!”
  • *lief→ *leaf: As in, Releaf (relief), beleaf (believe), disbeleaf (disbelieve).
  • *lif*→ *leaf*: As in, “A healthy leafstyle,” and “The end of the natural leafspan,” and “Would you like to use a leafline?” and “Eating meat is not a necessary part of the human leafcycle,” and “Call a leafguard!” and “You’re a leafsaver,” and “Their work is proleafic,” and “You exempleafy the best qualities,” and “You qualeafy for a scholarship.” Notes: to be prolific is to have a lot of; if your work is prolific, then you’ve produced a lot of work. To exemplify is to be a typical, normative example of something.
  • *leef*→ *leaf*: As in, gleaful (gleeful), gleafully and gleafulness.
  • *lef*→ *leaf*: As in, leaftover (leftover), cleaf (clef), leaft, and cleaft (cleft). Notes: A clef is a symbol in musical notation. A cleft is a split or opening.
  •  Needle: It’s normal for pine trees to molt their needles, so it’s a common Christmas scene and problem to have pine needles around the Christmas tree. To start off our pine puns, here are some needle-related phrases that you can slip into conversation: “Pins (or puns!) and needles,” and “Like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
  •  Need→ Needle: As in, “All you needle is love,” and “You needle your head examined,” and “On a needle to know basis,” and “With friends like that, who needles enemies?” and “We’re gonna needle a bigger boat,” and “I don’t needle this,” and “A friend in needle,” and “Needle I remind you..” and “We needle to talk.”
  •  Knee→ Kneedle: As in, “Go down on bended kneedle,” and “Go weak at the kneedles,” and “Kneedle deep,” and “A kneedle jerk reaction,” and “On your kneedles,” and “Shaking at the kneedles,” and “The bee’s kneedles,” and “A real kneedle slapper.” Note: if something is a knee-slapper, then it’s extremely, raucously funny.
  •  Sap→ Sapling: As in, “What a sapling.”
  •  Trunk: Make some Christmas tree puns with these trunk-related phrases: “Leg’s like tree trunks,” and “Junk in the trunk.” Note: be careful not to use the first phrase in a fat-shaming context.
  •  Chunk→ Trunk: As in, “Trunk of change,” and “Blow trunks.” Note: to blow chunks is to throw up.
  •  Drunk→ Trunk: As in, “Trunk as a lord,” and “Trunk as a skunk,” and “Blind trunk,” and “Falling down trunk,” and “Friends don’t let friends drive trunk,” and “Trunk and disorderly,” and “Roaring trunk.”
  •  Branch: Some branch-related phrases for you to make playful tree puns with: “Branch out,” and “Olive branch.” Note: an olive branch is a symbol of peace.
  •  Bench→ Branch: As in, “Branch warmer,” and “Branch jockey,” and “Meet at the park branch?” Note: a bench warmer is someone who isn’t called up to play in a game and have to sit through the entire play – thus warming the bench.
  •  Brunch→ Branch: As in, “Meet for branch?” and “A new branch place,” and “The perfect branch date.”
  • Log: Some log-related phrases for you to play with: “As easy as falling of a log,” and “Log off,” and “Sawing logs,” and “Sleep like a log,” and “Throw another log on the fire.” Note: to saw logs is to snore loudly.
  •  *log*: Emphasise the log in certain words: logistics, logic, login, logo, logical, analog, blog, catalog, slog, backlog, dialog, clog, flog, technology, analogy, etymology, psychology, analogous and ontology.
  •  *lag→ *log: As in, “Jet log,” and “Social jet log,” and “Flog down,” and “Fly the flog.”
  •  *lag*→ *log*: As in: logoon (lagoon), logging (lagging), plogue (plague), colloge (collage), camoufloge (camouflage), flogrant (flagrant).
  •  Leg→ Log: As in, “Break a log,” and “Fast as his logs could carry him,” and “Cost an arm and a log,” and “Give up a log up,” and “Logs like tree trunks,” and “On your last logs,” and “One log at a time,” and “Shake a log,” and “Show a little log,” and “Stretch your logs,” and “Tail between your logs,” and “Without a log to stand on,” and “You’re pulling my log.”
  •  *leg*→ *log*: As in, logacy (legacy), logend (legend), logitimate (legitimate), logal (legal), logible (legible), logion (legion), logislation (legislation), bootlog (bootleg), priviloge (privilege), allogory (allegory), delogate (delegate), elogant (elegant). Note: an allegory is a metaphor used in literature.
  •  *lig*→ *log*: As in, logament (ligament), logature (ligature), intellogence (intelligence), relogion (religion), elogible (eligible). Note: a ligature can mean a few different things, but it generally means something that joins two things together.
  •  *lug*→ *log*: As in, loggage (luggage), plog (plug), slog (slug), unplog (unplug), logubrious (lugubrious), sloggish (sluggish). Note: to be lugubrious is to be sad or dismal.
  • Bark: Since bark has two meanings – the hard “skin” of a tree, and a loud noise that dogs make – we can use the meanings interchangeably and make some bark puns with these bark-related phrases: “A barking dog never bites,” and “Bark at the moon,” and “Barking mad,” and “Barking up the wrong tree,” and “Bark worse than your bite.”
  •  Park→ Bark: As in, “All over the ballbark,” and “A ballbark figure,” and “Central bark,” and “Hit it out of the bark,” and “A nosey barker,” and “A walk in the bark,” and “A bright s-bark,” and “Bark that thought.”
  •  Pakistan→ Barkistan
  •  *bac*→ *bark*: As in, “You can’t barkslide (backslide) now,” and “Barkground music,” and “A barkterial (bacterial) infection,” and “Part of the barkdrop,” and “The barkchelor (bachelor),” and “Barkchelor pad,” and “No such thing as ethical barkon (bacon),” and “Valued feedbark,” and “A messy debarkle (debacle).”
  •  *bec*→ *bark*: As in, “What have we barkome (become)?” and “The food barkoned (beckoned) me,” and “Barkcause I said so,” and “That dress is very barkcoming (becoming),” and “Fire up the barbarkue!”
  •  *bic*→ *bark*: As in, barkering (bickering), barkultural (bicultural), acerbark (acerbic), aerobark (aerobic), xenophobark (xenophobic), Arabark (Arabic), claustrophobark (claustrophobic), cubarkle (cubicle).
  •  *buc*→ *bark*: As in, “Kick the barket,” and “Can’t carry a tune in a barket,” and “A drop in the barket,” and “Coming down in barkets,” and “One, two, barkle my shoe,” and “Barkwheat cereal.”
  •  *bak*→ *bark*: As in, “A vegan barkery,” and “An apprentice barker.”
  •  *bik*→ *bark*: As in, barkini (bikini), rubark‘s cube and motorbark (motorbike).
  •  September→ Septimber: As in, “Wake me up when Septimber ends.”
  •  Root: Some root-related phrases for you to play with: “Lay down roots,” and “Money is the root of all evil,” and “Root for,” and “Root of the matter,” and “Wanna root?”
  •  Root→ Route: As in, “Is your rooter (router) working?” and “Root 66,” and “You need to take a different root.”
  •  *rut*→ *root*: As in, “A rootless (ruthless) procedure,” and “Tell the trooth,” and “Under scrootiny,” and “An inscrootable expression,” and “Brootally honest,” and “A new recroot (recruit).”
  • Twig: Here are some twig-related phrases for you to mix into your Christmas tree wordplay: “Have you twigged on?” and “Looking a bit twiggy.” Notes: to twig onto something is to realise something. If something a looking twiggy, it’s looking thin.
  •  Trigger→ Twigger: As in, “Hair twigger,” and “Pull the twigger,” and “Twigger happy,” and “Whose finger do you want on the twigger?” Note: a hair trigger is a trigger that is extremely sensitive. Can also be used to describe an something which is very unstable.
  • Knot: We can use knot-related phrases as well since “knot” has two meanings – the circular imperfections in wood and a tied fastening: “Don’t get your shorts in a knot,” and “Tie the knot,” and “Tie yourself in knots.”
  •  Not→ Knot: As in, “And whatknot,” and “As often as knot,” and “Believe it or knot,” and “Down but knot out,” and “I’m knot joking,” and “Let’s knot and say we did,” and “Knot a chance,” and “Knot a minute too soon,” and “Knot a pretty sight,” and “Knot all it’s cracked up to be,” and “No, knot at all,” and “Knot have a leg to stand on,” and “Knot in a million years,” and “We’re knot in Kansas anymore,” and “Waste knot, want knot,” and “A house divided against itself canknot stand,” and “Rome was knot built in a day,” and “Last but knot least,” and “If it’s knot one thing, it’s another.”
  •  Nought→ Knot: As in, “Knots and crosses,” and “All for knot,” and “It’s come to knot.”
  •  Naughty→ Knotty: As in, “Knotty but nice,” and “Are you on the knotty list?” and “The knotty corner.”
  •  *nut*→ *knot*: As in, “A hazelknot in every bite,” and “Using a sledgehammer to crack a knot,” and “Sweet as a knot,” and “Do your knot,” and “In a knotshell,” and “That old chestknot,” and “A tough knot to crack,” and “Knots and bolts,” and “If you pay peaknots, you get monkeys.” Notes: if you’re using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, then you’re using more force than is necessary or appropriate. “That old chestnut” refers to a story that has been told too many times.
  •  *nat*→ *knot*: As in, “An inknot (innate) sense,” and “A healthy alterknotive,” and “You’re being obstin-knot,” and “I’ll need your sigknoture,” and “Their sigknoture dish.”
  •  *net*→ *knot*: As in, “The social knotwork,” and “An exclusive knotworking (networking) event,” and “The five teknots (tenets) are,” and “The interknot (internet),” and “Cabiknot maker,” and “Captain Plaknot,” and “Baby’s bonknot,” and “A peknotrating (penetrating) gaze.”
  •  *nit*→ *knot*: As in, “Stop knotpicking (nitpicking),” and “A single, cohesive u-knot,” and “Cogknotive (cognitive) dissonance,” and “Hallway moknotor (monitor),” and “A golden opportuknoty,” and “A tight-knit (or knot) commuknoty,” and “I have a special affiknoty for,” and “Leave with digknoty,” and “A part of the furknoture.” Note: cognitive dissonance is when two contradictory beliefs are held by the same person.
  •  *nut*→ *knot*: As in, knotrition (nutrition), knotrient (nutrient), knotmeg, walknot, cocoknot, butterknot, and miknot (minute).
  •  *not*→ *knot*: As in, “Knotwithstanding,” and “Two week’s knotice,” and “Turn it up a knotch,” and “A ridiculous knotion,” and “He’s knotorious for..” and “It all came to knothing,” and “Negative conknotations.” Note: a connotation is an associated (rather than literal) meaning.
  •  *naut* → *knot*: As in, knotical (nautical), juggerknot, astroknot, cyberknot, and aeroknotical. Notes: a cybernaut is someone who uses the internet on a regular basis. A juggernaut is a force that is generally considered to be unstoppable and destructive. An aeronaut is one who travels in hot-air ballons or airships.
  •  *sap*: Emphasise the “sap” in certain words to make sap-related tree puns: sapient, sappy, asap, disappointed, and disappear.
  •  *sep*→ *sap*: As in, “Comes saparetely,” and “Sapia-toned (sepia),” and “Saptum piercing,” and “Wake me up when Saptember ends,” and “Saptic tank.” Notes: a septum piercing is a type of nose piercing. Sepia is a shade of brown.
  •  *sip*→ *sap*: As in, “A relentless gossap,” and “An insapid tea,” and “My anger is dissapating.” Note: if something is insipid, then it’s weak.
  •  *sop*→ *sap*: As in, saporific (soporific), saprano (soprano), milksap (milksop), aesap (aesop), soursap (soursop).
  •  *sup*→ *sap*: As in, “Emotional sapport,” and “Saperceded,” and “Demand and sapply,” and “You’re being saperfluous,” and “Mother Saperior,” and “Saperiority complex,” and “Vitamin sapplements,” and “Sing for your sapper.”
  •  Axe: Use these axe-related phrases for some sneaky wordplay: “Take an axe to,” and “An axe to grind.” Notes: to take an axe to something is to destroy it. If you’ve got an axe to grind, then you’ve got a grievance or strong opinions.
  •  Ask→ Axe: As in, “A big axe,” and “Axe a silly question and get a silly answer,” and “Axe and you shall receive,” and “Axe around,” and “Axe me another one,” and “Axe no questions and hear no lies,” and “Axe-ing for trouble,” and “What’s the axe-ing price?” and “Everything you were too afraid to axe,” and “Frequently axed questions,” and “Funny you should axe,” and “No questions axed,” and “You gotta axe yourself,” and “Axe-ing for a friend.”
  •  *ax*→ *axe*: As in, “Nothing is certain but death and taxes,” and “Incorrect syntaxe,” and “Soy waxe,” and “Waxe and wane,” and “Mind your own beeswaxe,” and “Frankie says relaxe,” and “The rules are pretty laxe around here,” and “The axe-is of evil.”
  •  *ex*→ *axe*: As in, “A complaxe situation,” and “Body mass indaxe,” and “Better than saxe,” and “Flaxe your muscles,” and “The apaxe of the mountain,” and “Fast reflaxes,” and “There’s still so much saxeism (sexism) in today’s society,” and “Do I even axe-ist (exist) to you?” and “Axeplicit language warning,” and “A team-building axercise,” and “Axeistential crisis,” and “Axetract the essence,” and “In the right contaxe-t,” and “Axepress post,” and “A fair axechange,” and “Animal axeploitation.”
  •  *ix*→ *axe*: As in, matraxe (matrix), faxe (fix), appendaxe (appendix), maxe (mix), suffaxe (suffix), prefaxe (prefix), saxe (six), elaxe-ir (elixir), saxety (sixty).
  •  *ox*→ *axe*: As in, “Thinking outside the baxe,” and “Xeno’s paradaxe,” and “Fantastic Mr. Faxe,” and “Unorthodaxe thinking,” and “Flummaxed,” and “The term ‘happy marriage’ doesn’t have to be an axeymoron,” and “You’re as important as axeygen to me,” and “An obnaxeious attitude,” and “In close praxe-imity.” Notes: if something is unorthodox, then it doesn’t conform to normal social rules or traditions. An oxymoron is a phrase that is made up of contradictory parts (like “cruel to be kind”.) If you’re flummoxed, then you’re completely confused and/or perplexed.
  •  *ux*→ *axe*: As in, “Living in the lap of laxeury,” and “A cruel jaxetaposition.” Note: a juxtaposition is an act of comparison.

Christmas Tree-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Christmas tree puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

christmas tree, tree, christmas, fir, leaves, leaf, wood, wooden, angel, star, bauble, light, fairy light, tinsel, candy cane, present, gift, pine, conifer, spruce, needle, sap, sapling, trunk, branch, twig, log, bark, timber, root, knot, axe

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