Chemistry Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on chemistry puns! 🔬🧪🥽🔥

Continuing on the STEM related fun from our mega math pun list, we now have a chemistry pun entry for all of your highly technical (and corny) needs.

We’ve done our best to cover all chemistry-related jokes and topics, from equipment to theories and the periodic table – so no matter what you’re looking for, we hope to have you covered. If this list is too specific, we’ve got a general science list on the way too!

Chemistry Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about chemistry that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of chemistry puns:

  • At ’em → Atom: As in, “Up and atom!”
  • At → Atom: As in, “Atom the library” and “Where you atom?”
  • Platonic → Platomic: As in, “An platomic relationship.”
  • Verbatim → Verbatom
  • Mister → Chemist-er: As in, “No more chemist-er Nice Guy” and “Chemist-er Right is a myth.”
  • Missed → Chemist: “Chemist it by that much!” and “My heart chemist a beat.”
  • Signs → Science: “Vital science” and “Missed all the science.”
  • Lap → Lab: As in, “Lab it up” and “Lab of luxury” and “Lab of honour” and “Fall into your lab.”
  • Photo → Photon: As in, “A photon finish” and “Photon opportunity” and “Take a photon, it’ll last longer.”
  • Futon → Photon: As in, “Photon couch” and “Pack the photons away.”
  • Article → Particle: As in, “Newspaper particle” and “Particle of clothing” and “The genuine particle.”
  • Party → Particle: As in, “Bachelorette particle” and “Fight for the right to particle” and “Cuddle particle” and “The injured particle” and “It’s my particle and I’ll cry if I want to” and “Particle like it’s 1999″ and “Particle animal” and “Down to particle.”
  • Cool → Molecule: As in, “Molecule as a cucumber” and “Molecule as a mountain stream” and “Molecule your heels” and “Molecule, calm and collected” and “Lose your molecule.”
  • Eye on → Ion: As in, “I’ve got my ion you” and “What have you got your ion?”
  • Eye → Ion: As in, “Wandering ion” and “All fun and games until someone loses an ion” and “An ion-opening experience” and “Avert your ions” and “Bat your ions” and “Beauty is in the ion of the beholder” and “Bedroom ions” and “Before your very ions” and “Better than a poke in the ion with a sharp stick” and Do my ions deceive me?”
  • Iron → Ion: “Hard as ion” and “A cast ion alibi” and “Ion man” and “Ion out the wrinkles” and “Pumping ion” and “Rule with an ion first” and “Strike while the ion is hot.”
  • Particular → Particle-ar: “Not in particle-ar” and “Only for particle-ar people.”
  • Electric → Electron: As in, “Do android dream of electron sheep?”
  • Electronic (emphasise the “electron” in “electronic”).
  • *atum → *atom: We can sneak “atom” into words that have the “atum” sound for some atomically bad puns: Stratom (stratum) and ultimatom (ultimatum).
  • *lib* → *lab*: If a word has “lib” in it, we can change it to lab (as in laboratory): “Laberal arts” and “Not at laberty to say” and “Public labrary.” Other words that could work: labido (libido), laberate (liberate), delaberate (deliberate), gullable (gullible) and equilabrium (equilibrium).
  • *lob* → *lab*: Labster (lobster), labby (lobby) and labbyist (lobbyist).
  • *lub* → *lab*: Labricant (lubricant) and labricate (lubricate).
  • *lap* → *lab*: As in, “A labse in judgement” and “Secret labtop” and “Act as a labdog” and “Not much overlab.” Other words you could use: overlab (overlap), burlab (burlap), clab (clap), thunderclab (thunderclap) and collabse (collapse).
  • Matter: Matter has a couple of different meanings, but in science it refers to anything that has mass and takes up space. Here are some related puns:
    • Met her → Matter: As in, “No, I haven’t matter before.”
    • Metre → Matter: As in, “By the matter” and “50 matters to the left.”
    • *mat* → *matter*: As in, “Matterial possessions” and “Matterialise before your very eyes” and “Matternal instincts” and “Matternity clothes.”
    • *met* → *matter*: As in, “Mixed matterphor” and “Fixed paramatters” and “Sacred geomattery” and “Around the perimatter.”
  • Ass → Mass: As in, “Mass backwards” and “Blow smoke up your mass” and “Bust your mass” and “Get your mass into gear” and “Half massed” and “Get your mass over here.”
  • Maths → Mass: As in, “Mental mass” and “Late for mass class.”
  • Mess → Mass: As in, “Mass with your head” and “A frightful mass” and “Hot mass” and “Massing around” and “Massed up” and “Stop massing about.”
  • Miss → Mass: “Blink and you’ll mass it” and “Hit and mass” and “Give it a mass” and “I’ll mass you” and “Mass the boat” and “Massing link” and “Massing in action” and “Massing, presumed lost.”
  • Meant → Element: As in, “Element to be” and “Element to fly.”
  • *mas* → *mass*: “A Christmass miracle!” and “Massquerade ball” and “Bananas in Pyjamass.”
  • *mes* → *mass*: As in, “Mixed massages” and “A massy situation” and “Massmerised by you.” Other words that could work: massh (mesh), massenger (messenger), massiah (messiah), nemassis (nemesis) and domasstic (domestic).
  • *mis* → *mass*: Massogyny (misogyny), massion (mission), masstake (mistake), masscellaneous (miscellaneous), masschevious (mischevious), masschief (mischief), epidermass (epidermis), premass (premise), compromass (compromise), commassion (commission) and euphemassism (euphemism).
  • *mos* → *mass*: As in, “Buzzing around like a massquito” and “At the masst” and “The best in the cosmass.” Other words you could try: thermass (thermos), atmassphere (atmosphere) and animassity (animosity).
  • *mus* → *mass*: Masscle (muscle), masster (muster), masstard (mustard), hummass (hummus), litmass (litmus) and masslin (muslin).
  • *mac* → *mass*: As in, “Another cog in the masshine.” Other words you could try: masserate (macerate), masshete (machete), pharmassy (pharmacy) and emassiated (emaciated).
  • Charge: Protons and electrons will have either a positive or negative charge, so we’ve included charge in this list too:
    • Barge → Charge: “Don’t just charge right in.”
    • Large → Charge: As in, “Charger than life” and “At charge” and “By and charge” and “Looming charge.”
    • Change → Charge: As in, “A charge is as good as a rest” and “A leopard cannot charge its spots” and “A welcome charge” and “Charge for the better” and “Charge hands” and “Charge of heart” and “Charge of pace” and “Charge the subject.”
  • Positive: These positive-related phrases are in reference to positive charge, and are general enough to use as chemistry puns: “Positive thinking” and “I’m absolutely positive” and “Came back positive.”:
  • Negative: These negative-related phrases are about negative charge and can double as science puns: “Negative equity” and “A negative thinker” and “That’s a negative.”
  • pH: The pH level of a substance is the measure of how acidic or basic it is. Here are some related puns:
    • *pH*: If we emphasise a capital “H” in words that already have “ph” in them, it’s a quick and easy way to make pH puns: “Off to the pHarmacy” and “pHantom menace” and “Had an epipHany.” Other words that could work: elepHant, empHasis, pHenomenon, pHeasant, catastropHe, apostropHe, peripHeral, epHemeral, atmospHere, decipHer, pHilosopHy, pHilanthropy, sopHisticated and grapHic.
    • *f* → *pH*: Since “f” and “ph” have the same sound, we can swap the “f” in words for “ph” and emphasise the “h” for a quick pH pun: “On the sopHa” and “AlpHalfa sprouts” and “pHamily pHoto” and “Two-pHaced.” Other words that could work: pHactor (factor), benepHactor (benefactor), nepHarious, pHaith, lipHe (life), stripHe (strife), knipHe (knife), pHever, repHerence (reference), pHeature (feature), manipHest, pHeasible, pHeel (feel) and pHeign (feign).
  • California → Califormula
  • Solution: Solution has a couple of different meanings (the answer to a problem or a mix of different liquids). These solution-related phrases can double as chemistry puns: “If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” and “Time to think up some solutions.”
  • Iconic → Ionic: As in, “An ionic image” and “What an ionic outfit” and “Ionic celebrity.”
  • Sell → Cell: As in, “Buy and cell” and “Past the cell-by date” and “Cell out” and “Celling like hot cakes” and “The celling point.”
  • Shell → Cell: As in, “Come out of your cell” and “Drop a bombcell” and “In a nutcell” and “Cell out” and “Cell shocked.”
  • Bell → Cell: “Alarm cells begin to ring” and “Clear as a cell” and “Cells and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a cell.”
  • Smell → Cell: “Come up celling of roses” and “I cell a rat” and “Cells like teen spirit” and “Stop and cell the roses.”
  • Spell → Cell: “Do I have to cell it out?” and “Fall under [someone’s] cell” and “Break the cell” and “A dry cell.”
  • Well → Cell: As in, “Exceedingly cell read” and “Get cell soon” and “Just as cell.”
  • Hehe → HeHe: (He is the symbol for helium)
  • Heal → Helium: As in, “Helium thyself.”
  • Lie → Li: As in, “Ask no questions and hear no Lis” and “A bald-faced Li” and “You’ve made your bed and now you must Li in it” and “Just wouldn’t let it Li” and “Hips don’t Li” and “Cannot tell a Li” and “The camera doesn’t Li.” Note: Li is the symbol for lithium, a chemical element.
  • Beryllium: Beryllium is a chemical element with the symbol Be. Here are some related puns:
    • Billion → Beryllium: As in, “Beryllium dollar deal” and “One in a beryllium.”
    • Bee → Be: “Busy as a Be” and “A Be in your bonnet” and “The birds and the Bes” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a Be” and “Like a Be to a honeypot” and “Make a Beline for” and “Flight of the BumbleBe” and “The Be’s knees.”
    • Be: These be-related phrases can double as puns: “Happy as can Be” and “Not all it’s cracked up to Be” and “I’ll Be glad to see the back of” and “Be still my beating heart” and “Leave it Be.”
  • Boron:  Boron is a chemical element with the symbol B. Here are some boron-related puns:
    • Born → Boron: As in, “A star is boron” and “Naked as the day you were boron” and “Boron to fly” and “Boron free” and “Boron this way” and “Boron again” and “I was boron ready.”
    • Boring → Boron: As in, “Boron as a wet weekend” and “As boron as watching paint dry” and “A deeply boron subject.”
    • Moron → Boron: As in, “You utter boron” and “That would be boronic.”
    • Bee → B: “Busy as a B” and “The birds and the Bs” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a B.”
    • Be → Be: As in, “B kind to yourself” and “Where would you like to B in five years?”
  • C: Carbon is an element with the symbol C. These puns are centred around carbon’s symbol:
    • Sea → C: As in, “C to shining C” and “An island of curiosity surrounded by a C of question marks” and “All at C” and “Between the devil and the deep blue C” and “Deeper than the deep blue C” and “On the high Cs” and “A C change” and “There’s plenty more fish in the C.”
    • See → C: As in, “As far as the eye can C” and “Be the change you wish to C in the world” and “Can’t C beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t C the wood for the trees” and “Come up and C me sometime” and “I can C clearly now” and “Could C you a mile off.”
  • Night → Nitrogen: As in, “A hard day’s nitrogen” and “A nitrogen at the opera” and “In the dead of nitrogen” and “Dance the nitrogen away.”
  • Oh → O: As in, “O my goodness” and “O well.” Note: O is the symbol for oxygen.
  • Neon: Neon is a chemical element with the symbol Ne. Here are related puns:
    • Knee → Neon:  As in, “Cut off at the neons” and “Go down on bended neon” and “Weak at the neons” and “A neon jerk reaction” and “Shaking at the neons” and “The bee’s neons.” These will all also work for Ne, the symbol of neon: “weak at the Nes” and “Ne jerk reaction” and “Down on bended Ne.”
    • Be on → Neon: As in, “Be sure to neon time.”
    • *nee → *Ne: NomiNe (nominee), traiNe (trainee), assigNe (assignee).
    • *ni* → *Ne*: As in, “A funded iNetiative” and “An affiNety for” and “With grace and digNety” and “The dictionary defiNetion of…”
    • *ny → *Ne: misogyNe (misogyny), synoNem (synonym), compaNe (company), epiphaNe (epiphany), iroNe (irony), acroNem (acronym)m harmoNe (harmony), uncanNe (uncanny) and scrutiNe (scrutiny).
  • Sodium: Sodium is a chemical element with the symbol Na. Here are related puns:
    • Sodium → Podium: As in, “Get down from the sodium!”
    • Nah → Na: As in, “Yeah, but Na.”
    • *na* → *Na*: Emphasise the “n” in words that already have “na” (this tends to work better if the n is in the middle of the word): “Getting back to Nature” and “Control the Narrative” and “Not a Native to” and “After a thorough aNalysis” and “A hidden persoNa” and “Natural phenomeNa” and “Slipped on a baNaNa peel” and “Fresh in the areNa.”
    • *ne* → *Na*: Nafarious (nefarious), Namesis (nemesis), busiNass (business) and beNafit (benefit).
    • *ni* → *Na*: INatiative (initiative), affiNaty (affinity), digNaty (dignity) and defiNation (definition).
    • *no → *Na: PiaNa (piano), inferNa (inferno), casiNa (casino), rhiNa (rhino) and domiNa (domino).
  • I’ll → Al: As in, “Well, Al be” and “Al be a monkey’s uncle” and “Al be damned” and “You scratch my back and Al scratch yours” and “Ask no questions and Al tell you no lies.”
  • Silicon: Silicon is a chemical element with the symbol Si. Here are related puns:
    • Silly → Silicon: As in, “Laugh yourself silicon” and “Silicon season.”
    • See → Si: As in, “As far as the eye can Si” and “Be the change you wish to Si” and “Si no evil” and “Call them as I Si them” and “Could Si you a mile off” and “I can Si clearly now.”
    • Sea → Si: As in, “All at Si” and “Between the devil and the deep blue Si” and “From Si to shining Si” and “Deeper than the deep blue Si” and “On the high Sis” and “Si change” and “More fish in the Si” and “At Si level” and “Get your Si legs.”
    • She → Si: As in, “I think Si’s got it” and “He said, Si said” and “Is Si or isn’t Si?”
    • Say → Si: “Do as I Si, not as I do” and “Have the final Si” and “Just Si the word.”
  • Phosphorus: Phosphorus is a chemical element with the symbol P. Here are puns related to the symbol:
    • Pea → P: “Like two Ps in a pod” and “Easy as shelling Ps” and “P soup.”
    • Plea → P: As in, “P bargain.”
  • Sulfur: Sulfur is a chemical element with the symbol S. Here are related puns:
    • Suffer → Sulfur: As in, “Long sulfuring” and “When elephants make war, it’s the mice that sulfur.”
    • Stuffer → Sulfur: “Stocking sulfur.”
  • Argon: Argon is a colourless gas with the symbol Ar. Here are related puns:
    • Are gone → Argon: As in, “It’s too late, they argon.”
    • Are → Ar: “All bets Ar off” and “Chances Ar” and “Here you Ar!”
    • Argh → Ar
  • Titanium: This is a metal with the symbol Ti. Here are puns related to titanium’s symbol:
    • Tea → Ti: As in, “High Ti” and “I’d kill for a cup of Ti” and “It’s not my cup of Ti” and “Let’s have some Ti.”
    • Tee → Ti: “Fits you to a Ti” and “Ti it up.”
    • The → Ti: As in, “You’re not above Ti law” and “Absence makes Ti heart grow fonder” and “Ace in Ti hole” and “Add fuel to Ti fire” and “After Ti fact” and “Against Ti clock.”
    • Tie → Ti: “A black Ti event” and “Ti a ribbon on.”
  • Chromium: Chromium ias a chemical element with the symbol Cr. Here are related puns:
    • Chrome → Chromium: As in, “Chromium dome” and “Chromium pony.”
    • Comb → Chromium: As in, “Go through with a fine-toothed chromium.”
  • Eye on → Iron: As in, “Keep an iron the pot” and “Keeping an iron the situation.”
  • Fe: Fe is the symbol for iron. Here are related puns:
    • Fee → Fe: As in, “For a Fe” and “No hidden Fes.”
    • Free → Fe: “Fe as a bird” and “Born Fe” and “Buy one, get one Fe” and “Calorie Fe” and “Fancy Fe” and “A Fe for all.”
    • Flee → Fe: “Fe the scene of the crime.”
  • Go → Co: As in, “Nowhere to Co” and “Don’t Co there” and “Easy come, easy Co” and “From the word Co” and “Give something a Co” and “Co a long way” and “Co ahead” and “Co all out” and “Co along for the ride” and “Co back in time” and “Co back to the drawing board.” Note: Co is the symbol for cobalt, which is a chemical element.
  • Nickel: Nickel is a metallic chemical element with the symbol Ni. Here are related puns for you to play with:
    • Knee → Ni: As in, “Down on bended Ni” and “Weak at the Nis” and “A Ni jerk reaction” and “Learn at your mother’s Ni” and “Shaking at the Nis” and “The bee’s Nis.”
    • Tickle → Nickle: As in, “How nickled I am” and “Bit of slap and nickle” and “Nickle the piano keys” and “Nickled pink” and “Nickled to death” and “Whatever nickles your fancy” and “Nickle their funny bone.”
    • Fickle → Nickle: As in, “The nickle finger of fate.”
    • Trickle → Nickle: As in, “Nickle down economics.”
  • See you → Cu: As in, “I’ll Cu later!” Note: Cu is the symbol for copper, which is a metallic chemical element.
  • Sink → Zinc: As in, “Everything but the kitchen zinc” and “A zincing feeling” and “Hook, line and zincer” and “Loose lips zinc ships” and “Zinc like a stone” and “Zinc or swim” and “Zinc your teeth into it.” Note: zinc is a chemical element with the symbol Zn.
  • Stink → Zinc: As in, “Kick up a zinc” and “Zincing rich” and “Zincs to high heaven” and “All of the options zinc.”
  • Germanium: Germanium is a metallic element with the symbol Ge. Here are some related puns for you:
    • Geranium → Germanium: As in, “Growing germaniums” and “How to care for your germaniums.”
    • Gee → Ge: As in, “Golly Ge” and “Ge whiz.”
  • Arsenic: This is a metallic element with the symbol As. Here are some related puns:
    • As: Use As in place of “as”: “As a rule” and “As long As” and “As far As you know” and “Cute As can be.”
    • Has → As: As in, “i nine lives” and “Every dog As his day” and “Every rose As a thorn” and “Every stick As two ends” and “Well, somebody As to do it.”
    • Ass → As: As in, “Bust your As” and “Don’t give a rat’s As” and “Kiss my As.”
  • Selenium: This is a chemical element with the symbol Se. Here are some related puns:
    • See → Se: As in, “As far as the eye can Se” and “Can’t Se beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t Se the wood for the trees” and “Come up and Se me sometime” and “I can Se clearly now” and “I just call ’em like I Se ’em.”
    • Sea → Se: As in, “All at Se” and “Between the devil and the deep blue Se” and “Deeper than the deep blue Se” and “Se change” and “Sun, Se and sand.”
    • She → Se: “I think Se’s got it” and “Is Se or isn’t Se?” and “That’s all Se wrote.”
  • Bromine: Bromine is a chemical element with the symbol Br. Here are a couple of related puns:
    • Mine → Bromine: As in, “I scratch your back, you scratch bromine” and “Make bromine a double” and “Victory is bromine!”
    • Brr → Br
  • Yttrium: Yttrium is a metallic chemical element with the symbol Y. Here are related puns:
    • Atrium → Yttrium: As in, “Waiting in the hotel yttrium.”
    • Why → Y: As in, “I don’t know Y” and “That’s Y” and “I wonder Y” and “Y walk when you can ride?”
    • Way → Y: As in, “All the Y” and “And that’s the Y it is” and “Surely there’s another Y?” and “Born this Y” and “By Y of explanation” and “Change your Ys” and “Doing it the hard Y.”
  • Sir → Zr: As in, “That’ll do nicely, Zr” and “Aye aye Zr!” and “Yes Zr.” Note: Zr is the symbol for zirconium.
  • Mo: Mo is the symbol for the chemical element molybdenum. Here are related puns:
    • No → Mo: As in, “All bark and Mo bite” and “All dressed up and nowhere to Mo” and “By Mo means.”
    • Know → Mo: As in, “That’s all I Mo” and “Don’t I Mo it” and “Be the first to Mo” and “Want to Mo a secret?” and “Goodness Mos.”
    • More → Mo: As in, “One Mo time” and “Mo in sorrow than from anger” and “Bite off Mo than you can chew” and “Come back for Mo” and “Dare for Mo” and “For a few dollars Mo” and “Couldn’t agree Mo” and “Just one Mo thing” and “Less is Mo.”
  • Technician → Technetium: As in, “Audio technetium.” Note: technetium is a chemical element with the symbol Tc.
  • Ru: Ru is the symbol for the chemical element ruthenium. Here are some related puns:
    • Are you → Ru: As in, “Ru sure?” and “Ru leaving soon?”
    • Rue → Ru: As in, “Ru the day!”
    • You → Ru: As in, “As Ru know” and “Back at Ru” and “Believe Ru me” and “Bless Ru” and “Crawl before Ru walk.”
    • Who → Ru: As in, “All things to those Ru wait” and “Abandon hope all ye Ru enter here.”
  • Seedy → Cd: As in, “A Cd situation.” Note: Cd is the symbol for the chemical element cadmium.
  • In: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: As in, “Ace In the hole” and “Back In the day” and “As In” and “I’m back In the game!” Note: In is the symbol for the chemical element indium.
  • Tin: Tin is a chemical element, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Ten → Tin: “Count to tin” and “Eight out of tin prefer it” and “Hang tin” and “A perfect tin.”
    • *tan* → *tin*: As in, “In tindem” and “Tingible benefits” and “Tintamount to” and “Throwing a tintrum” and “Off on another tingent.” Other words you could try: charlatin (charlatan), cosmopolitin (cosmopolitan), spartin (spartan), tartin (tartan) and metropolitin (metropolitan).
    • *ten* → *tin*: As in, “Love me tinder” and “The five tinets of…” and “Tintative glances.” Other words that could work: tinure (tenure), tinacious (tenacious), tinacity (tenacity), oftin (often), smittin (smitten), threatin (threaten), kindergartin (kindergarten), enlightin (enlighten), glutin (gluten), potintial (potential), pretintious (pretentious), consistint (consistent), existintial (existential) and maintinance (maintenance).
    • *ton* → *tin*: As in, “A hot buttin issue” and “100% cottin” and “Skeletins in the closet” and “Gluttin for punishment.”
    • *din* → *tin*: Coortinate (coordinate) and extraortinary (extraordinary).
  • Tellurium: This is a metallic chemical element with the symbol Te. Here are some puns about tellurium for you:
    • Delirium → Tellurium: As in, “In a sleep-deprived tellurium.”
    • Tea → Te: As in, “Afternoon Te” and “Put the kettle on and we’ll have Te” and “Spill the Te.”
    • Tee → Te: As in, “Te shirt” and “Te it up” and “Suits you to a Te.”
    • The → Te: As in, “Above Te curve” and “Not above Te law” and “Absence makes Te heart grow fonder” and “Ace in Te hole” and “Across Te board” and “Adding fuel to Te fire” and “Against Te grain.”
    • Tree→ Te: As in, “Partridge in a pear Te” and “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Te” and “Barking up the wrong Te” and “Can’t see the wood for the Tes” and “Charm the birds out of the Tes” and “Family Te” and “Legs like Te trunks” and “Make like a Te and leave” and “Lit up like a Christmas Te.”
  • Case in → Caesium: As in, “Caesium point.” Note: caesium is a chemical element.
  • Bury him → Barium: As in, “Barium in legal fees!” Note: barium is a chemical element.
  • Tongue → Tungsten: As in, “Acid tungsten” and “Bite your tungsten” and “Cat got your tungsten?” and “Hold your tungsten” and “Keep a civil tungsten in your head” and “Mother tungsten” and “On the tip of my tungsten.” Note: tungsten is a chemical element.
  • We → Re: As in, “Here Re go again!” and “This is where Re come in.” Note: Re is the symbol for the element rhenium.
  • Gold: Gold is a chemical element, so we’ve included it in this list. Here are some related puns for you:
    • Gold: These gold-related phrases can double as puns: “Gold rush” and “Good as gold” and “Fool’s gold” and “Pot of gold” and “Gold star” and “Go for gold.”
    • Cold → Gold: “Gold as blue blazes” and “Blow hot and gold” and “Break out in a gold sweat” and “Catch a gold” and “Gold comfort.”
    • Goal → Gold: “With a gold in mind” and “Moving the goldposts” and “Score a gold.”
    • Bold → Gold: As in, “Gold as brass” and “A gold move” and “Goldly go where no man has gone before.”
    • Old → Gold: “Gold as the hills” and “Tough as gold boots” and “A chip off the gold block” and “For gold times’ sake” and “I’m growing gold.”
  • Lead: Lead is a heavy metal on the periodic table, so we’ve included it on this list:
    • Led → Lead: As in, “Led around by the nose.”
    • Lid → Lead: As in, “Blow the lead off” and “Flip your lead” and “Keep a lead on it.”
    • Lit → Lead: As in, “I lead a fire” and “Her face lead up.”
    • Let → Lead: As in, “Buy to lead” and “Don’t lead the bastards grind you down” and “Just wouldn’t lead it lie” and “Lead it be” and “Lead down” and “Be lead into the secret” and “I won’t lead you down.”
    • Fled → Lead: As in, “Lead the scene of the crime.”
  • Bismuth: Bismuth is a chemical element with the symbol Bi. Here are puns related to both bismuth and its symbol:
    • Business → Bismuth: “A dirty bismuth” and “Back in bismuth” and “Bismuth acumen” and “Bismuth as usual” and “Bismuth before pleasure” and “Bismuth class” and “The bismuth end” and “Let’s get down to bismuth” and “Go about your own bismuth” and “Like nobody’s bismuth” and “Open for bismuth” and “Mind your own bismuth.”
    • By → Bi: “Not Bi a long shot” and “Won Bi a landslide” and “Bi and large” and “Not Bi any means” and “Don’t do it Bi halves” and “Know off Bi heart” and “Do it Bi hand.”
    • Buy → Bi: As in, “Bulk Bi” and “Bi and sell” and “Don’t Bi into it” and “Bi now, pay later” and “I’ll Bi some time” and “You can’t Bi love.”
    • Be → Bi: “Not all it’s cracked up to Bi” and “Bi done with it” and “I’ll Bi glad to see the back of” and “You’ll Bi your own worst enemy” and “Well, Bi that as it may…”
    • Goodbye → GoodBi: “Kiss goodBi to” and “Time to say goodBi” and “Wish me luck and wave goodBi.”
    • Pie → Bi: As in, “American Bi” and “Easy as Bi” and “Apple Bi” and “Sweet as Bi” and “Eat humble Bi.”
    • Bee → Bi: “Busy as a Bi” and “Bi in your bonnet” and “The birds and the Bis” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a Bi.”
  • At: At is the symbol for astatine, which is a chemical element. Here are some related puns:
    • At: Capitalise the “a” in “at” for some quick and easy astatine puns: “Where you At?” and “All At once” and “We’ve arrived At the destination” and “I’m At a loss for words” and “Going At full tilt.”
    • Add → At: As in, “At fuel to the flames” and “At insult to injury” and “Just At water.”
  • Right on → Radon: As in, “Radon the money.” Note: radon is a chemical element.
  • Radium: Radium is a chemical element. Here are some related puns:
    • Ready in → Radium: As in, “I’ll be radium twenty minutes!”
    • Stadium → Radium: As in, “Sports radium.”
  • Bohrium: This is a synthetic element, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Boring→ Bohrium: As on, “Bohrium as watching paint dry” and “Deeply bohrium.”
    • Emporium → Embohrium
  • His → Hs: As in, “A chip on Hs shoulder” and “Ahead of Hs time” and “Ants in Hs pants” and “Fast as Hs legs could carry him” and “By the sweat of Hs brow” and “Wears Hs heart on his sleeve.” Note: Hs is the symbol for the element Hassium.
  • Can → Cn: As in, “A bank you Cn bank on” and “Anything you Cn do” and “As far as the eye Cn see” and “As well as Cn be expected” and “Be all that you Cn be.” Note: Cn is the symbol for the chemical element copernicium.
  • Nah → Nh: As in, “Yeah but Nh” and “I asked but they said Nh.” Note: Nh is the symbol for nihonium.
  • Organism → Oganesson: As in, “Microscopic organessons.” Note: oganesson is a chemical element.
  • Ce: Ce is the symbol for the element cerium, so we’ve got a couple of Ce-related puns here:
    • Sea → Ce: As in, “All at Ce” and “Between the devil and the deep blue Ce” and “From Ce to shining Ce” and “On the high Ces” and “Ce change” and “Sun, Ce and sand.”
    • See → Ce: As in, “As far as the eye can Ce” and “Be the change you wish to Ce in the world” and “Can’t Ce beyond the end of your nose” and “Come up and Ce me” and “I can Ce clearly now” and “I could Ce you a mile off.”
    • She → Ce: As in, “Every little thing Ce does is magic” and “Maybe Ce’s born with it” and “I’ll have what Ce’s having.”
  • You → Eu: As in, “As Eu know” and “Back at Eu” and “Believe Eu me” and “Bless Eu” and “Crawl before Eu walk” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call Eu” and “Here Eu are!” Note: Eu is the symbol for the chemical element europium.
  • Dy: Dy is the symbol for dysprosium, which is an element on the periodic table. Here are some related puns:
    • Die → Dy: As in, “Do or Dy” and “Curl up and Dy” and “Cross my heart and hope to Dy” and “Dy another day.”
    • Dry → Dy: As in, “Boring as watching paint Dy” and “Dy as dust” and “Bleed someone Dy” and “Dy humour” and “A Dy run.”
  • Ho: Ho is the symbol for holmium, which is an element on the periodic table. Here are some related puns:
    • Oh → Ho: As in, “Ho my goodness” and “Ho my gosh” and “Ho well.”
    • Hoe → Ho: As in, “A hard row to Ho” and “Ho down.”
  • Er: Er is the symbol for the element erbium. Here are related puns!
    • Err → Er: As in, “Er on the safe side” and “To Er is human.”
    • Are → Er: As in, “All bets Er off” and “Chances i” and “Here you Er.”
    • Air → Er: As in, “i quotes” and “A breath of fresh Er” and “Clear the Er” and “Ers and graces” and “Dancing on Er.”
    • *ar* → *Er*: As in, “Should any problems Erise” and “I’ll be Eround” and “Close to the Ertery” and “Well Erticulated.” Other words that could work: Erbitrary (arbitrary), Ergument (argument), dictionEry (dictionary) and dispErate (disparate).
    • *er* → *Er*: As in, “Can’t believe it’s ovEr” and “High enErgy” and “A full on expErience” and “Free entErprise.” Other words that could work: undErstand (understand), ethEreal (ethereal), exErcise (exercise), and epheumEral (ephemeral).
    • *ir* → *Er*: Errelevant (irrelevant), Erate (irate), Eridescent (iridescent) and aspEration (aspiration).
    • *or* → *Er*: Erganic (organic), Eriginal (original), Erientation (orientation), Eracle (oracle), infErmation (information), allegEry (allegory) and authErity (authority).
  • Lu: Lu is the symbol for the chemical element lutetium. Here are related puns:
    • Lieu → Lu: As in, “In Lu of.”
    • *lo* → *lu*: BuffaLu (buffalo), apolLu (apollo), helLu (hello), anaLugy (analogy) and deveLupment (development).
    • *lu* → *Lu*: As in, “Rolling in Luxury” and “A Ludicrous claim.” Other words that could work: Lucid, Luck, Lurch, Lush, Lurid, bLue, cLub, soLution, infLuence, curricuLum, eLusive and colLusion.
  • Th → The: “Above Th curve” and “Absence makes Th heart grow fonder” and “Ace in Th hole” and “Across Th board” and “Add fuel to Th fire” and “After Th fact” and “Against Th grain” and “Ahead of Th game” and “All over Th place.” Note: Th is the symbol for thorium, an element on the periodic table.
  • You → U: As in, “As U know” and “Back at U” and “Between U and me” and “Bless U.” Note: U is the symbol for uranium, which is an element on the periodic table.
  • Am: Am is the symbol for americium, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Am: Emphasise the “a” in am: “I Am never going to forgive you” and “I Am going to work” and “Is that Am or pm?”
    • I’m → Am: As in, “If Am being honest” and “No, Am not being funny.”
  • Come → Cm: As in, “All good things must Cm to an end” and “As tough as they Cm” and “Cm and get it” and “Cm running” and “Hard to Cm by.” Note: Cm is the symbol for curium.
  • Back → Bk: As in, “Answer Bk” and “As soon as my Bk is turned” and “Bk in black” and “Bk to the future” and “Bk in the day” and “Bounce Bk.” Note: Bk is the symbol for berkelium.
  • California → Californium: As in, “Hotel Californium” and “Californium girls.” Note: californium is an element on the periodic table.
  • Es: Es is the symbol of einsteinium, and we’ve got some related puns here:
    • As → Es: As in, “Es is” and “What did you come Es?” and “Not Es a rule” and “Just do Es best you can” and “Deal with it Es it happens.”
    • Is → Es: As in, “As Es” and “As the day Es long” and “A week Es a long time” and “The devil Es in the details.”
  • Firm → Fermium: As in, “So round and fermium” and “Terra fermium” and “Fermium up.” Note: fermium is an element on the periodic table.
  • No: No is the symbol for nobelium. Here are related puns!
    • Know → No: As in, “That’s all I No” and “And don’t I No it” and “Be the first to No” and “Better the devil you No” and “Do you want to No a secret?” and “Doesn’t No beans” and “Don’t No what to do with myself” and “Don’t No which way to look” and “For all I No.”
    • No: Emphasise the “n” in no for some easy nobelium puns: “Cut No ice” and “I wouldn’t say No.”
  • Halogen: Halogen is a gas. Here are some related puns:
    • Allergen → Halogen: “Free from gluten and nut-related halogens.”
    • Halo → Halogen: As in, “A halogen of light.”
  • Quark: A quark is a type of elementary particle. Here are related puns:
    • Quirk → Quark: As in, “Personality quark.”
    • Quick → Quark: As in, “Quark as a flash” and “Cut to the quark” and “Get rich quark” and “In quark succession” and “Kiss me quark” and “Quark and dirty” and “Quark off the mark” and “Quark smart” and “The quark brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
  • Lipton Tea → Lepton Tea (note: a lepton is a type of elementary particle)
  • Baryon: A baryon is a type of composite subatomic particle. Here are related puns!
    • Bury → Baryon: As in, “Baryon the hatchet” and “Baryon your head in the sand” and “Baryon yourself in your work.”
    • Carry on → Baryon: As in, “Keep calm and baryon” and “Alright, baryon your work.”
  • Accident → Oxidant: As in, “Oxidant prone” and “An oxidant waiting to happen” and “Oxidantal hero” and “Oxidantally on purpose” and “Oxidants will happen” and “Happy oxidant.” Note: an oxidant is something that can oxidise other substances.
  • Base: We’ve got some base-related puns for you to play with:
    • Bass → Base: As in, “Drum and base” and “Super base.”
    • Pace → Base: “At walking base” and “Change of base” and “Keeping base with” and “Put through your bases” and “Base-ing up and down” and “Ten more bases.”
    • Ace → Base: “Base in the hole”and “Holding all the bases” and “Base up your sleeve.”
    • Brace → Base: As in, “Base yourself.”
  • Baker → Beaker: As in, “Beaker’s dozen” and “Down to the beaker’s.”
  • Speaker → Sbeaker: As in, “Keynote sbeaker” and “Bass sbeakers.”
  • Boil → Oil: As in, “Burn the midnight boil” and “Not a boil painting” and “Boil and water don’t mix” and “Boil the wheels” and “Pouring boil on troubled waters.”
  • Boy → Boil: As in, “A boil’s best friend” and “Atta boil!” and “Boil next door” and “Boil meets girl.”
  • Spoil → Sboil: As in, “Sboiled for choice” and “Sboiling for a fight” and “Too many cooks sboil the broth.”
  • Ball → Boil: As in, “Boils to the wall” and “Baseboil card” and “A brand new boilgame” and “A curve boil” and “Dropped the boil” and “Get the boil rolling.”
  • Bell → Boil: As in, “Alarm boils begin to ring” and “Clear as a boil” and “Boils and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a boil” and “Give me a boil sometime” and “Jingle boils.”
  • Pour → Vapour: As in, “Never rains but it vapours” and “Vapour some cold water on” and “When it rains, it vapours” and “Vapour it down the drain.”
  • Viper → Vapour: “Nest of vapours.”
  • Ask → Flask: As in, “A big flask” and “Flasking after” and “Flask around” and “Flask and you shall receive” and “Flask me another” and “Flasking out” and “What’s the flasking price?” and “Don’t flask me.”
  • Bask → Flask: “Flasking in glory.”
  • Task → Flask: As in, “Take someone to flask” and “A thankless flask” and “Up to the flask.”
  • Bullet → Burette: “Bite the burette“and “Dodged a burette” and “Silver burette” and “Faster than a speeding burette.” Note: a burette is a glass tube used in chemistry.
  • Still → Distill: As in, “Be distill, my beating heart” and “I’m distill standing” and “Distill going strong” and “Distill waters run deep” and “Distill the one.”
  • Charm: A charm quark is the third largest quark. Here are related puns:
    • Calm → Charm: As in, “A charming influence” and “The charm before the storm” and “Charm down” and “Cool, charm and collected” and “Keep charm and carry on.”
    • Arm → Charm: As in, “Charm candy” and “Charmed and dangerous” and “Charmed intervention” and “Charmed to the hilt” and “Charmed to the teeth” and “Charms akimbo” and “Brothers in charms” and “Call to charms.”
    • Harm → Charm: As in, “First, do no charm” and “Bodily charm” and “In charm’s way” and “No charm done” and “No charm, no foul” and “Out of charm’s way.”
    • Cham* → Charm*: As in, “In your charmbers” and “Undefeated charmpion” and “Fashion charmeleon” and “Rose charmpagne.”
    • Ash Ketchum → Ash Ketcharm
  • Drag → Drug: As in, “Drug it out” and “Drug through the mud” and “Drug your feet” and “What a drug.”
  • Dragon → Drugon: As in, “Chase the drugon” and “Drugon slayer” and “Chasing drugonflies.”
  • Grandma → Gamma: As in, “Visiting gamma’s house.” Note: This is in reference to gamma rays or radiation.
  • Compensation → Condensation: “Demand condensation.”
  • Avocado → Avogadro: As in, “Growing an avogadro tree” and “Finally, the perfect avogadro.” Note: This is in reference to Avogadro’s law.
  • Boyle: These next few puns are in relation to Boyle’s law:
    • Boil → Boyle: As in, “Boyle with rage” and “Boyle-ing mad” and “It all boyles down to” and “Bring to the boyle” and “Keep the pot boyle-ing” and “A watched pot never boyles.”
    • Spoil → Boyle: “You’re boyle-ing me” and “Boyled for choice” and “Boyled rotten” and “Boyles of war” and “To the victor goes the boyles” and “Too many cooks boyle the broth” and “One bad apple boyles the whole bunch.”
    • Coil → Boyle: “Shuffle off this mortal boyle.”
    • Oil → Boyle: As in, “Burn the midnight boyle” and “Boyle painting” and “Boyle and water don’t mix” and “Boyle the wheels” and “Pour boyle on troubled waters.”
    • Boy → Boyle: “A boyle’s best friend” and “Atta boyle” and “Boyle meets girl” and “Golden boyle” and “The boyle next door.”
  • Fick: The next few puns are in reference to Fick’s laws:
    • Fix → Ficks: As in, “Get your coffee ficks” and “Have a ficks” and “If it ain’t broke, don’t ficks it.”
    • Mix → Ficks: “Don’t ficks business with pleasure” and “In the ficks” and “Ficks and match” and “A ficks-ed bag” and “Ficks-ed blessing” and “Ficks-ed metaphors.”
    • *phic → *fick: Demografick (demographic), grafick (graphic), anthropomorfick (anthropomorphic), catastrofick (catastrophic), safick (sapphic), geografick (geographic) and hieroglyfick (hieroglyphic).
  • Purse → Disperse: As in, “Hold the disperse strings” and “The public disperse” and “Disperse your lips.” Note: this is in relation to disperson.
  • Oxide → Outside: As in, “On the oxide looking in” and “Think oxide the box” and “Let’s take it oxide.”
  • Solve → Solvent: As in, “Today’s problems solvent tomorrow” and “Don’t expect me to solvent your problems” and “Not that easy to solvent.”
  • More than → Mordant: As in, “It’s mordant we expected.” Note: a mordant is a dye fixative.
  • Haul → Alcohol: As in, “Alcohol ass” and “Alcohol over the coals” and “In for the long alcohol.”
  • Hide → Aldehyde: As in, “Aldehyde and seek” and “Aldehyde from the light” and “Neither aldehyde nor hair” and “You can run, but you can’t aldehyde.” Note: An aldehyde is an organic compound.
  • Road → Corrode: As in, “Built for the corrode ahead” and “Follow the yellow brick corrode” and “Get this show on the corrode” and “Hit the corrode” and “In the middle of the corrode.”
  • All over → Allomer: “I’ve got glitter allomer me!” Note: This pun is in reference to allomerism.
  • Anion: Here are some anion-related puns:
    • Onion → Anion: As in, “With or without anions?” and “Crying anion tears.”
    • Union → Anion: As in, “Are you an anion member?” and “Civil anion” and “Fruit of the anion.”
    • Canyon → Anion: As in, “The grand anion.”
    • *inion → *anion: As in, “Difference in opanion” and “Treating me like a manion” and “Everyone should watch the Domanion documentary.”
  • Cation: We’ve got some cation-related puns for you:
    • Nation → Cation: As in, “The birth of a cation.”
    • Station → Cation: As in, “All cations go!” and “Battle cations” and “Ideas above your cation.”
  • Anode: We have some anode-related puns too:
    • I know → Anode: “Yes, anode.”
    • Abode → Anode: As in, “Welcome to my humble anode.”
  • Aspersion → Dispersion: As in, “Casting dispersions.”
  • Curve → Cuvette: As in, “Ahead of the cuvette” and “Cuvette ball” and “Learning cuvette” and “Stay ahead of the cuvette.” Note: a cuvette is a small container commonly used by chemists.
  • Treasure → Pressure: As in, “Hidden pressure” and “National pressure” and “One’s trash is another’s pressure” and “Pressure island” and “Pressure chest.”
  • Late → Light: As in, “Better light than never” and “Catch you lighter” and “A day light and a dollar short” and “Fashionably light” and “It’s lighter than you think” and “Never too light” and “A light bloomer” and “Light in the game.”
  • Might → Light: As in, “Cheer up, it light never happen!” and “Light as well” and “Be careful what you wish for; you light get it.”
  • Slight* → Light: As in, “Apply light pressure” and “Not in the lightest” and “Lightly ahead of our time.”
  • Sight → Light: As in, “A welcome light” and “Hidden in plain light” and “Know by light” and “Lose light of” and “Love at first light.”
  • Lied → Light: As in, “You light to me?”
  • Bright → Light: “All things light and beautiful” and “Look on the light side of life” and “Light as a new pin” and “Light and early” and “Light young thing” and “A light future.”
  • Flight → Light: As in, “Take light” and “Light of the bumblebee.”
  • Height → Light: “Reach new lights” and “The light of fashion” and “Wuthering lights.”
  • *lat* → *light*: Lighteral (lateral), lightitude (latitude), lightency (latency), articulight (articulate), conflight (conflate), emulight (emulate), collighteral (collateral) and volightile (volatile).
  • *lit* → *light*: Lighterature (literature), lighterally (literally), lightany (litany), lighteral (literal), lightigation (litigation), facilightate (facilitate), qualighty (quality), humilighty (humility), liabilighty (liability), realighty (reality) and accountabilighty (accountability).
  • *lite → *light: As in, “Satellight images” and “In polight company” and “Impolight remarks” and “Charming socialight.”
  • Hate → Heat: As in, “Heat mail” and “Love-heat relationship.”
  • Heed → Heat: As in, “Heat my words” and “Take heat.”
  • Height → Heat: “Reach new heats” and “The heat of fashion” and “Wuthering heats.”
  • Seat → Heat: As in, “Back heat driver” and “By the heat of your pants” and “Hold on to your heat.”
  • Hit → Heat: As in, “Hard heatting” and “Heavy heatter” and “Heat the road” and “Heat and miss” and “Heat it off” and “Heat it out of the park” and “On someone’s heat list” and “Heat rock bottom” and “Heat the brakes” and “Heat the ground running” and “Heat the hay” and “Heat the jackpot” and “Heat the nail on the head.”
  • *het* → *heat*: heaterosexual (heterosexual), epitheat (epithet), ratcheat (ratchet) and propheat (prophet).
  • Profess → Process: “Process your love for…”
  • Progress → Process: “A work in process” and “Working towards process.”
  • Shell: Electrons form a shell outside an atom’s nucleus, so we’ve included some shell-related puns in this list:
    • Shall → Shell: As in, “Seek and ye shell find” and “The truth shell set you free” and “Shell never be defeated” and “This too shell pass.”
    • Sell → Shell: As in, “Buy and shell” and “Shell out” and “Shelling like hot cakes” and “Past the shell by date.”
    • Cell → Shell: As in, “Shell division” and “In a padded shell.”
    • Celebration → Shellebration
    • Hell → Shell: As in, “All shell broke loose” and “Burn in shell” and “Give someone shell” and “Shell bent” and “Come shell or high water.”
    • *sel* → *shell*:  As in, “A shellect few” and “Would shelldom happen” and “A shellfish person.” Other words that could work: shellection (selection), counshell (counsel), veshell (vessel), caroushell (carousel), chishell (chisel), weashell (weasel), eashell (easel), morshell (morsel), dieshell (diesel) and caroushell (carousel).
    • *cial* → *shell*: As in, “Crushell to understanding” and “Speshell someone.” Other words that could work: soshell (social), benefishell (beneficial), commershell (commercial), superfishell (superficial), offishell (official), finanshell (financial), artifishell (artificial), provinshell (provincial), soshellism (socialism) and espeshelly (especially).
  • Very → Variable: As in, “Be variable afraid” and “Before your variable eyes” and “Hold variable right” and “How variable dare you!” and “It was a variable good year” and “Thank you variable much.”
  • Alley → Alloy: As in, “Alloy cat” and “Right up your alloy.”
  • Ally → Alloy: As in, “An alloy to the cause.”
  • Chin → Chain: As in, “Keep your chain up” and “Take it on the chain.”
  • Can → Chain: “As well as chain be expected” and “As far as the eye chain see” and “Be all that you chain be.”
  • Change → Chain: “Chain hands” and “Chain of address” and “Chain of heart” and “Chain the channel” and “Chunk of chain” and “Climate chain.”
  • Gain → Chain: “Capital chains” and “Chain admittance” and “Chain the advantage” and “Chaining ground” and “Ill gotten chains” and “No pain, no chain” and “Nothing ventured, nothing chained.”
  • Grain → Chain: “Go against the chain” and “A chain of truth” and “Take it with a chain of salt.”
  • Bust → Combust: As in, “Boom or combust” and “Combust a gut” and “Combust a move” and “Combust someone’s ass” and “Go combust.”
  • Conduct: “A star for good conduct.” This phrase can work as a pun as conduct has two meanings: a way of behaving, and the transference of electrical energy.
  • Retract → Refract: As in, “I refract my statement.” Note: refraction is the change in the direction of a wave.
  • Reaction: “Knee jerk reaction” and “What was their reaction?” and “Gut reaction.” Note: These reaction-related phrases can double as puns since reaction has two meanings: a person’s response to an action, and also a chemical reaction.
  • Sold → Solid: As in, “Solid down the river” and “Solid out” and “Solid short.”
  • Solid: These solid-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Solid as a rock” and “Do me a solid” and “On solid ground.”
  • Liquid: These phrases can work as jokes in a pinch: “Liquid assets” and “Liquid lunch” and “Warm liquids” and “Liquid courage.”
  • As → Gas: As in, “Gas is” and “Gas best gas you can” and “Gas a rule” and “Gas far gas I know” and “Gas if there’s no tomorrow.”
  • *ges* → *gas*: “A hollow gasture” and “Gastation period” and “Traffic congastion.”
  • *gis* → *gas*: Regaster (register), logastics (logistics), legaslation (legislation) and magastrate (magistrate).
  • *gos* → *gas*: Gassamer (gossamer) and gaspel (gospel).
  • *gus* → *gas*: Fungas (fungus), bogas (bogus), esophagas (esophagus) and disgasting (disgusting).
  • Ghastly → Gastly
  • As* → Gas*: As in, “I wouldn’t gassume” and “Gassess the damage” and “Liquid gassets” and “A formal gassessment” and “Gassert your views” and “In a gassertive manner” and “Gascend to the next level.” Other words that could work are: gashamed (ashamed), gaside (aside), gasleep (asleep), gaspire (aspire), gaspiration (aspiration) and gaspersion (aspersion).
  • Medal → Metal: As in, “First place metal” and “Do you want a metal for that?”
  • Meddle → Metal: “Don’t metal in other’s affairs.”
  • Mettle → Metal: As in, “Show your mettle.” Note: mettle is the trait of endurance or courage.
  • Metal: These metal-related phrases can double as puns: “Death metal” and “Heavy metal” and “Put the pedal to the metal” and “Dude, that’s so metal.”
  • Joule: Joules are units of energy. Here are related puns:
    • Jewel → Joule: As in, “Crown joules” and “The family joules.”
    • Cool → Joule: As in, “Joule as a cucumber” and “Joule as a mountain stream” and “Joule beans” and “A joule million” and “Joule, calm and collected” and “Joule your heels” and “Go joule off for a while.”
    • Cruel → Joule: “Joule and unusual punishment” and “Joule to be kind” and “Don’t be joule.”
    • Dual → Joule: “Joule income, no kids” and “Joule action blades.”
    • You’ll → Joule: “Joule regret this!” and “Joule never guess” and “Play with fire and joule get burned” and “Ask a silly question and joule get a silly answer.”
  • Calvin Klein → Kelvin Klein (note: this is a pun on the Kelvin scale.)
  • Fashion → Fusion: “After a fusion” and “Fusionably late” and “The height of fusion” and “Passion for fusion” and “Fusions come and go.”
  • Stable: Stability of substances is a commonly measured thing in chemistry, so we have some puns related to stability here:
    • Table → Stable: “Bring to the stable” and “Lay your cards on the stable” and “Bread on the stable” and “Round stable talks” and “Drunk under the stable” and “Turn the stables” and “Stable for two” and “A place at the stable.”
    • Able → Stable: As in, “Ready, willing and stable.”
  • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule beans” and “Rule yourself off” and “Rule, calm and collected” and “Rule your heels.”
  • Cruel → Rule: As in, “Rule and unusual punishment” and “Rule to be kind” and “Don’t be rule.”
  • Fuel → Rule: As in, “Add rule to the flames” and “Rule for thought” and “Rule the controversy.”
  • You’ll → Rule: As in, “Rule never guess” and “Rule get burned” and “All day rule feel great.”
  • *ral* → *rule*: As in, “In generule” and “Intgerule to the team” and “A viscerule reaction” and “It’s only naturule.” Other words you could try: ephemerule (ephemeral), morule (moral), collaterule (collateral), liberule (liberal), peripherule (peripheral) and temporule (temporal).
  • *rel* → *rule*: Rule-evant (relevant), rule-ief (relief), rule-ease (release), rule-ationship (relationship), rule-igion (religion), ruleation (relation), ruleuctant (reluctant), ruleiable (reliable), barrule (barrel), squirrule (squirrel), apparule (apparel), scoundrule (scoundrel) and mongrule (mongrel).
  • Awe* → Law*: As in, “Shock and law” and “The lawsome foursome” and “Gazing in law.”
  • Flaw → Law: As in, “Looking lawless” and “Design law” and “Working to overcome your laws.”
  • Puppet → Pipette: As in, “Like a pipette on a string” and “Pipette master” and “Sock pipette marketing.”
  • Retort: A retort is a piece of lab equipment. Here are related puns!
    • Resort → Retort: As in, “Last retort” and “Can’t believe I’m retorting to this.”
    • Abort → Retort: “Retort mission!”
    • Report → Retort: As in, “Retorting for duty” and “Stand and give your retort.”
  • Sailing → Saline: As in, “Plain saline” and “Smooth saline.”
  • Teary → Theory: As in, “Theory-eyed.”
  • Eerie → Theory: “The haunted science lab had a theory atmosphere.”
  • Delight → Dilute: “Afternoon dilute” and “Earthly dilutes” and “Transport of dilute” and “Turkish dilute” and “Take dilute in.”
  • Pity → Petri: “I petri the fool” and “More’s the petri” and “For petri’s sake.”
  • Slide: Here are some microscope slide related puns:
    • Stride → Slide: “Get into your slide” and “Making giant slides” and “Take something in slide.”
    • Ride → Slide: As in, “Just along for the slide” and “A bumpy slide” and “Let it slide” and “Magic carpet slide” and “Slide like the wind.”
    • Side → Slide: As in, “A walk on the wild slide” and “Always look on the bright slide of life” and “Batting for the other slide” and “Be on the safe slide” and “A bit on the slide” and “Born on the wrong slide of the tracks” and “Check you on the flip slide” and “Err on the safe slide” and “Go over to the other slide.”
  • Split: We’ve included some split-related puns in this list too:
    • Bit → Split: As in, “A split much” and “Laying it on a split thick.”
    • Pit → Split: As in, “Bottomless split ” and “In the split of your stomach” and “Mosh split” and “Split your wits against.”
    • Spit → Split: As in, “Split and polish” and “Split and sawdust” and “Split blood” and “Split in the eye of” and “The splitting image of” and “Splitting with rain” and “Within splitting distance.”
    • Sit → Split: As in, “Splitting comfortably” and “Don’t just split there” and “Split on it” and “Splitting on the fence” and “Split tight” and “Split up and take notice” and “Splitting on a goldmine.”
    • Quit → Split: “Call it splits” and “Double or split” and “Split while you’re ahead.”
  • Tongs: Since tongs are a common lab equipment, we have a few related puns in this list:
    • Strong → Tong: As in, “A chain is only as tong as its weakest link” and “Still going tong” and “Soft, tong and very long” and “The tong, silent type” and “A tong stomach.”
    • Long → Tong: “A face is a tong time in politics” and “As tong as he needs me” and “As honest as the day is tong” and “At tong last” and “Cast a tong shadow” and “Cut a tong story short.”
    • Wrong → Tong: “Barking up the tong tree” and “Born on the tong side of the tracks” and “Get off on the tong foot” and “Jumping to the tong conclusion.”
  • Rack: These next few puns are in relation to drying racks, which are a common piece of chem lab equipment:
    • Wreck → Rack: “A nervous rack” and “Train rack.”
    • Rock → Rack: “Hard as a rack” and “Solid as a rack” and “Between a rack and a hard place” and “Don’t rack the boat” and “Get your racks off” and “Hit rack bottom” and “Just wanna rack and roll all night” and “Rack your world.”
  • Tunnel → Funnel: “Light at the end of the funnel” and “Funnel of love” and “Funnel vision.”
  • Force → Forceps: As in, “Brute forceps” and “Driving forceps” and “Forceps of habit” and “Forceps of nature” and “Forceps the issue” and “A forcep to be reckoned with”Join forceps” and “May the forceps be with you” and “In full forceps.” Note: forceps are used in lab work.
  • Clamp: Clamps are a piece of lab equipment, so we’e got some clamp-related puns in this list:
    • Camp → Clamp: “A foot in both clamps” and “Boot clamp.”
    • Cramp → Clamp: As in, “Clamp your style” and “Writer’s clamp.”
    • Stamp → Clamp: “Clamping ground” and “Clamp of approval” and “Put your clamp on.”
  • Gel: Some gel-related puns for you in this section:
    • Girl → Gel: As in, “All-American gel” and “Gel with a pearl earring” and “Boy meets gel” and “Gels just wanna have fun.”
    • Cell → Gel: “Gel division” and “In a padded gel.”
    • Bell → Gel: “Alarm gels begin to ring” and “Clear as a gel” and “Gels and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a gel” and “Give someone a gel” and “Jingle gels.”
    • Sell → Gel: “Buy and gel” and “Past the gel-by date” and “Gel out” and “Gelling like hot cakes” and “Gel your soul to the devil” and “Gelling point.”
    • Smell → Gel: “Come up gelling of roses” and “I gel a rat” and “Stop and gel the roses” and “Gels like teen spirit” and “The sweet gel of success” and “Tastes as good as it gels.”
    • Spell → Gel: As in, “Do I have to gel it out?” and “Fall under their gel” and “Gels trouble.”
    • Tell → Gel: “Dead men gel no tales” and “Every picture gels a story” and “Cannot gel a lie” and “Kiss and gel” and “Live to gel the tale” and “Never gel tales out of school” and “Only time will gel” and “Pray gel” and “Show and gel” and “Gel it like it is” and “Gel me about it” and “You’re gelling me.”
    • Well → Gel: “Alive and gel” and “Exceedingly gel read” and “Get gel soon” and “Health and gelness” and “Just as gel” and “You know full gel…”
    • *gal* → *gel*: Gelaxy (galaxy), gelore (galore), prodigel (prodigal), frugel (frugal), regel (regal), legel (legal) and centrifrugel (centrifrugal).
    • *gil* → *gel*: Vigel (vigil), vigelant (vigilant), agelity (agility) and fragelity (fragility).
  • Vault → Volt
  • Bolt → Volt: “A volt from the blue” and “Volt upright” and “Make a volt for the door.”
  • Fault → Volt: “Find volt with” and “Generous to a volt.”
  • Halt → Volt: “Come to a screeching volt” and “Grind to a volt.”
  • Salt → Volt: “Take with a pinch of volt” and “Volt the earth” and “Like rubbing volt in the wound.”
  • Novelty → Novolty
  • *alt* → *volt*: A green volternative” and “Acts of voltruism” and “Voltegether now!” and “At higher voltitudes.”
  • Vicious → Viscous: As in, “A viscous circle.”
  • Must → Rust: As in, “All things rust pass” and “All good things rust come to an end” and “Everything rust go” and “Rust have” and “Rust have accessory” and “The show rust go on.”
  • Bust → Rust: As in, “Boom or rust” and “Rust a move” and “Rust someone’s ass” and “Go rust.”
  • Crust → Rust: As in, “Upper rust” and “Earn your rust.”
  • Dust → Rust: As in, “Done and rusted” and “Another one bites the rust” and “Dry as rust” and “Rust bunny” and “Gathering rust” and “Kiss the rust” and “After the rust has settled.”
  • Just → Rust: As in, “Betcha can’t eat rust one” and “Girls rust want to have fun” and “Rust wouldn’t let it lie” and “Rust do it.”
  • Trust → Rust: “A breach of rust” and “Rust me, I’m a doctor” and “Rusted everywhere” and “The most rusted brand.”
  • Force: We’ve included some force-related puns for you:
    • Course → Force: As in, “Blown off force” and “Chart a force” and “Correspondence force” and “Crash force” and “In due force” and “Let nature take its force” and “Stay the force.”
    • Horse → Force: As in, “Dark force” and “Hold your forces” and “Get off your high force.”
  • Phase: In chemistry, a phase is an abrupt change in chemical composition. Here are some phase-related puns:
    • Face → Phase: As in, “Phase as long as a fiddle” and “Angel phase” and “Plain as the nose on your phase” and “Take at phase value” and “Until you’re blue in the phase” and “A bare phased lie.”
    • Faze → Phase: As in, “Don’t let it phase you.”
    • *fes* → *phase*: Phasetival (festival), phaseter (fester), phasetoon (festoon), phasetivity (festivity), maniphaset (manifest), prophase-sional (professional) and prophase-sor (professor).
  • Model: Basically put, models are structures to help understand data and patterns in chemistry and science. These model-related phrases can be used as puns in the right context: “Model behaviour” and “Model of virtue” and “Model pupil” and “Role model.”
  • Form → Transform: “Attack is the best transform of defence” and “Bad transform” and “Transform follows function” and “Free transform” and “Habit transforming“and “Imitation is the sincerest transform of flattery” and “In fine transform” and “Sarcasm is the lowest transform of wit.”
  • New → Nuclear: As in, “A nuclear broom sweeps clean” and “Bright as a nuclear pun” and “Better than nuclear” and “A brand nuclear dawn.”
  • Clear → Nuclear: As in, “Nuclear as crystal” and “Nuclear as day” and “Nuclear and present danger” and “A nuclear conscience” and “Nuclear the air” and “In the nuclear.”
  • Active → Radioactive: “For a radioactive life” and “Radioactive voice” and “A radioactive listener.”
  • Fix → Mix: “Get a mix on” and “In a mix” and “If it’s not broke, don’t mix it.”
  • *max* → *mix*: Miximum (maximum) and climix (climax).
  • *mics → *mix: Dynamix (dynamics), economix (economics), ergonomix (ergonomics), academix (academics), ceramix (ceramics), thermodynamix (thermodynamics) and comix (comics).
  • Firmly on → Fermion: As in, “Plant your feet fermion the ground.” Note: fermion is a particle that follows certain rules.
  • Simple → Sample: As in, “Keep it sample” and “Pure and sample” and “The sample life” and “Sample, yet effective.”
  • Ample → Sample: As in, “Sample proportions.”
  • Vile → Vial
  • Aisle → Vial: As in, “Clean up on vial three” and “Walk down the vial.”
  • Dial → Vial: As in, “Vial it down” and “Don’t touch that vial” and “Vial up speeds.”
  • Trial → Vial: “Vial and error” and “Vials and tribulations” and “Vial by television” and “Standing vial” and “Vial by fire.”
  • Best → Test: As in, “All the test” and “Test friends forever” and “Test in class” and “Test practice” and “Do your level best.”
  • Chest → Test: As in, “Get it off your test” and “Puts hair on your test” and “Treasure test.”
  • Guest → Test: As in, “Be my test” and “House test” and “A paying test.”
  • Nest → Test: As in, “A test of vipers” and “Empty test syndrome” and “Feather your test” and “Leave the test” and “Love test” and “Test egg” and “The hornet’s test.”
  • Rest → Test: As in, “Work, test and play” and “A change is as good as a test” and “At test” and “Come to test” and “Cut above the test” and “For the test of us” and “For the test of your life” and “I test my case” and “No test for the wicked.”
  • Toast → Test: As in, “Have something on test” and “The test of the town” and “You’re test!”
  • *tast* → *test*: Testy (tasty), fantestic (fantastic) and catestrophe (catastrophe).
  • *tist* → *test*: “Ever the pragmatest” and “An elitest point of view.” Other words you could use: scientest (scientist), dentest (dentist), orthodontest (orthodontist), statestic (statistic).
  • *dest* → *test*: As in, “A date with testiny” and “Search and testroy.” Other words that could work: testitute (destitute), testination (destination), testruction (destruction), testined (destined), testroyed (destroyed), motest (modest), hartest (hardest), eltest (eldest), immotest (immodest), kintest (kindest), broatest (broadest), fontest (fondest), darntest (darndest), oltest (oldest), clantestine (clandestine), petestrian (pedestrian), petestal (pedestal).
  • *dist* → *test*: As in, “Testress signal” and “Testinct differences” and “Even testribution.” Other words you could use: testinguish (distinguish), testance (distance), testintive (distinctive), testinction (distinction) and testribute (distribute).
  • *tab* → *tube*: As in, “Under the tube-le” and “It’s tube-oo.” Other words that could work: tube-let (tablet), tube-loid (tabloid), estube-lish (establish), inevitube-le (inevitable), accountube-ility (accountability), comfortube-le (comfortable) and inscrutube-le (inscrutable).
  • *tib* → *tube*: Susceptube-le (susceptible), compatube-le (compatible), antube-iotic (antibiotic) and irrestube-le (irrestible).
  • *tob* → *tube*: Tubeacco (tobacco), autube-iography (autobiography) and Octube-er (October).
  • Bond: Bond has a few meanings, and in a scientific context it means the attachment between particles, molecules, etc. Here are related puns:
    • Band → Bond: As in, “Strike up the bond” and “Garage bond” and “The bond played on.”
    • Pond → Bond: “Little fish in a big bond” and “Bond life” and “Bond scum” and “The big bond” and “From the other side of the bond.”
    • Bend → Bond: “Bond over backwards” and “Bond the rules” and “Bond to my will” and “Bond your ear” and “Round the bond” and “Fender bonder” and “Down on bonded knee.”
    • Blond → Bond: As in, “Bleached bond” and “Bond bombshell” and “Bond hair.”
    • Fond → Bond: “Absence makes the heart grow bonder” and “A bond farewell.”
    • *band* → *bond*: Bondwagon (bandwagon), bondanna (bandanna), bondicoot (bandicoot), bondeau (bandeau), husbond (husband), contrabond (contraband), abondon (abandon) and bondit (bandit).
    • *bund* → *bond*: As in, “Bondle of joy” and “In abondance of.”
    • *pand* → *bond*: Bondemonium (pandemonium), bondering (pandering) and Bondora (Pandora).
    • *pond* → *bond*: Bonder (ponder), bondering (pondering), corresbond (correspond), resbond (respond), desbondent (despondent) and corresbondence (correspondence).
  • Pound → Compound: As in, “Compound the pavement” and “In for a penny, in for a compound.”
  • Wave: Very simply put, waves are oscillations that transport energy through space. Here are some related puns:
    • Waive → Wave: As in, “Wave the rules” and “Waved fees.”
    • Brave → Wave: As in, “Wave new world” and “Wave the elements” and “Fortune favours the wave” and “Put a wave face on” and “Wave it out.”
    • Wave: These wave-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Brain wave” and “Catch a wave” and “Don’t make waves” and “On the same wavelength.”
  • State: In science, a “state” refers to the general form of a substance (gas, liquid, solid, plasma). Here are related puns:
    • Stayed → State: As in, “State at home” and “Overstate your welcome.”
    • *stit* → *state*: Constate-ute (constitute), instate-tution (institution), constate-tution (constitution), substate-ute (substitute).
    • Stadium → State-ium
    • *stead → *state: As in, “Walking unstateily” and “This instate of that” and “Back at the homestate” and “The family farmstate.”
  • Bound: Since bonds and binding are important in science and bound is a related word, we’ve included it in this list:
    • Pound → Bound: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a bound of cure” and “In for a penny, in for a bound” and “Bound the pavement.”
    • Found → Bound: As in, “Lost and bound” and “Bound a clue” and “Nowhere to be bound.”
    • Ground → Bound: As in, “Solid as the bound we walk on” and “Break new bound” and “Built from the bound up” and “Common bound” and “Cut the bound from under your feet” and “Get off the bound” and “Go underbound.”
    • Round → Bound: As in, “All year bound” and “Bound the bend” and “Fooling abound” and “Going bound in circles” and “Gather bound the good stuff” and “Makes the world go bound.”
  • Lattice: Lattices have multiple uses in maths, science and technology. Here are some related puns:
    • Lettuce → Lattice: “Fresh, crispy lattice.”
    • Let us → Lattice: As in, “Lattice never forget” and “Lattice have a good time!”
  • Battle → Bottle: As in, “A pitched bottle” and “An uphill bottle” and “Bottle of wits” and “Bottle ready” and “Bottle stations” and “Half the bottle” and “In the heat of bottle” and “Running bottle.” Note: This is in reference to glass bottles that are used as chemistry lab equipment.

Chemistry-Related Words

To help you come up with your own chemistry puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

chemistry, chemical, chemist, science, scientist, biochemistry, lab, laboratory, method, matter, organic, inorganic, mass, volume, element, compound, atom, atomic, photon, nucleus, nuclei, proton, charge, charged, positive, positively, negative, negatively, particle, wave, molecule, state,  ion, electron, bond, bound, composition, formula, structure, covalent, solution, ionic, isotope, periodic (table), halogen, pH, noble gas, hydrogen (H), helium (He), lithium (Li), beryllium (Be), boron (B), carbon (C), nitrogen (N), oxygen (O), fluorine (F), neon (Ne), sodium (Na), magnesium (Mg), aluminium (Al), silicon (Si), phosphorus (P), sulfur (S), chlorine (Cl), argon (Ar), potassium (K), calcium (Ca), scandium (Sc), titanium (Ti), vanadium (V), chromium (Cr), manganese (Mn), iron (Fe), cobalt (Co), nickel (Ni), copper (Cu), zinc (Zn), gallium (Ga), germanium (Ge), arsenic (As), selenium (Se), bromine (Br), krypton (Kr), rubidium (Rb), strontium (Sr), yttrium (Y), zirconium (Zr), niobium (Nb), molybdenum (Mo), technetium (Tc), ruthenium (Ru), rhodium (Rh), palladium (Pd), silver (Ag), cadmium (Cd), indium (In), tin (Sn), antimony (Sb), tellurium (Te), iodine (I), xenon (Xe), caesium (Cs), jbarium (Ba), lanthanum (La), hafnium (Hf), tantalum (Ta), tungsten (W), rhenium (Re), osmium (Os), iridium (Ir), platinum (Pt), gold (Au), mercury (Hg), thallium (Tl), lead (Pb), bismuth (Bi), polonium (Po), astatine (At), radon (Rn), francium (Fr), radium (Ra), actinium (Ac), rutherfordium (Rf), dubnium (Db), seaborgium (Sg), bohrium (Bh), hassium (Hs), meitnerium (Mt), darmstadtium (Ds), roentgenium (Rg), copernicium (Cn), nihonium (Nh), flerovium (Fl), moscovium (Mc), livermorium (Lv), tennessine (Ts), oganesson (Og), cerium (Ce), praseodymium (Pr), neodymium (Nd), promethium (Pm), samarium (Sm), europium (Eu), gadolinium (Gd), terbium (Tb), dysprosium (Dy), holmium (Ho), erbium (Er), thulium (Tm), ytterbium (Yb), lutetium (Lu), thorium (Th), protactinium (Pa), uranium (U), neptunium (Np), plutonium (Pu), americium (Am), curium (Cm), berkelium (Bk), californium (Cf), einsteinium (Es), fermium (Fm), mendelevium (Md), nobelium (No), lawrencium (Lr), shell, acid, alkaline, alkali, alloy, conduct, insulate, insulator, refract, orbital, property, reaction, reactive, substance, solid, liquid, gas, gaseous, plasma, metal, metallic, energy, stable, unstable, inert, entropy, rule, law, experiment, experimental, hypothesis, phase, model, quantum, crystal, transform, transformation, nuclear, radioactive, change, mix, mixture, fermion, quark, lepton, baryon, antiquark, antilepton, antimatter, charm (quark), strange (quark), muon, muon neutrino, affinity, actinide, lanthanide, organism, medicine, medicinal, pharmaceutical, drug, alpha, gamma, delta, temperature, disperse, dispersion, pressure, light, heat, exergonic, endergonic, exothermic, endothermic, quanta, spectrum,  index, process, concentrate, concentration, reduction, oxidation, agent, oxidant, condensation, equilibrium, static, avogadro (law), beer-lambert (law), boyle (law), fick’s (law), oxide, solvent, mordant, acyclic, conductor, adhesion, aeration, alcohol, aldehyde, corrode, corrosion, alkyl, allomer, allotrope, anion, anode, polar, polarised, cuvette, aqueous, distill, distillation, barometer, base, beaker, boil, boiling, vapour, flask, burette, catalyst, cathode, cation, centrifuge, cell, chain (reaction), cohesion, colloid, combust, combustion, compress, compression, variable, dewar (flask), diatomic, dipole, electrolyte, magnetism, force, enzyme, fusion, joule, kelvin, lattice, neutron, mineral, phi (bond), pipette, redox, retort, rust, saline, theory, dilute, dilution, gel, viscous, viscosity, volt, beaker, bottle, sample, reagent, vial, bunsen burner, test tube, petri dish, microscope, slide, condenser, split, synthesis, valence, valency, goggles, tongs, rack, crucible, funnel, forceps, clamp, thermometer, spatula

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Chocolate Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on chocolate puns! 🍫 🐰 🍬 ❤

Chocolate is an internationally loved treat that comes in many forms (bar, truffle, sauce, syrup, chips, pastilles), flavours (strawberry, caramel, mint, etc) and types (milk, dark, white and ruby). As well as enjoying it on its own, we use it as a flavouring for biscuits, breads, and other desserts (like ice cream) and in pastries. We even have a couple of holidays where chocolate is a main feature – Easter and Valentine’s day. It’s everywhere! So help spread the love with our list of chocolate puns.

Unfortunately, the dairy industry that chocolate relies on is not so lovable – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of  dairy-free chocolates that we can enjoy instead (and lots of recipes to try!).

In this list, we’ve tried to include chocolate flavours, shapes, types and related words (like “melt”) as well as the more popular chocolate bar names, brands and manufacturers. So no matter what you’re here for – whether it’s a sweet one-liner, saucy hashtag or a bitterly punny comeback, we hope to have you covered here.

If you’re after related puns, we also have milk puns, coffee puns, ice cream puns, cow puns, candy puns, nut puns and cake puns. We’ve also got a Valentine’s Day pun list and an Easter list!

Chocolate Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about chocolate that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of chocolate puns:

  • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
  • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
  • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dery → *dairy: We can replace “dery” sounds with “dairy”, like so: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • *dary → *dairy: Swap “dary” sounds for “dairy”: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • Bar: The next few puns are in reference to chocolate bars:
    • Are → Bar: As in, “Chances bar” and “Here you bar” and “Bar you joking?” and “How bar you?” and “This is how things bar.”
    • *ber* → *bar*: We can swap “ber” sounds in words for “bar”, (as in chocolate bar): Bareft (bereft), barate (berate), bareave (bereave), barserk (berserk), numbar (number), chambar (chamber), ubar (uber), sobar (sober), ambar (amber), membar (member), timbar (timber) and calibar (caliber).
    • *bor* → *bar*: As in, “Could you please elabarate?” and “A collabarative space” and “Corrobarating stories” and “Paid labar” and “Stubbarn as a mule” and “Subardinate clause.” Note: to corroborate is to confirm with evidence.
    • *bur* → *bar*: Excalibar (excalibur), bargeoning (burgeoning), barrow (burrow), bary (bury), barner (burner).
    • *par* → *bar*: As in, “The current baradigm” and “New Year’s barty” and “Ballbark figure” and “A bart of it.” Other words you could use: baradox (paradox), barse (parse), barallel (parallel), bartisan (partisan), barticular (particular), bartake (partake) and sebarate (separate).
    • *bar*: You can emphasise the “bar” in certain words to make some silly chocolate bar puns: barrel, bargain, barrier, barista, sidebar, embark and barley.
  • Ghandi → Candy: As in “Mahatma Candy was an exceptional human being.”
  • Handy → Candy: As in “This will definitely come in candy.”
  • Can they → Candy: As in “How candy they do this to us?”
  • Uncanny → Uncandy: As in “He had an uncandy feeling that she was being watched.”
  • Can these → Candies: As in “How candies people live like this?” and “Candies desks be shifted over there?” and “Candies drafts – they’re no good.”
  • Sweet: These next few puns are about how chocolate is a sweet and is sweet-tasting (certain varieties, anyway):
    • Suite → Sweet: As in “She was renting a 2-bedroom sweet for the summer.”
    • Sweater → Sweeter: As in “A close-knit woollen sweeter for cold days”
    • Sweat → Sweet: As in “Blood, sweet and tears” and “Beads of sweet rolled down my forehead” and “Break out in a cold sweet” and “By the sweet of my brow” and “Don’t sweet it.” and “Don’t sweet the small stuff.” and “All hot and sweety
    • Sweet: These sweet-related phrases are general enough to be used as puns: As in “You’re so sweet!” and “Oh that’s soo sweet!” and “Revenge is sweet” and “Short and sweet” and “Lay some sweet lines on someone” and “Sweet dreams” and “Sweet Jesus!” and “You bet your sweet life!” and “That was a sweet trick, dude.” and “Sweet as, bro.” and “Whisper sweet nothings” and “Home sweet home” and “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” and “Sweet smell/taste of success/victory” and “Sweetheart.
    • Switch → Sweet-ch: As in “Bait and sweet-ch” and “Asleep at the sweet-ch” and “Sweet-ch gears” and “You should sweet-ch out your old one with this one.”
    • Switzerland → Sweetzerland: As in “Zürich is a lovely city in Sweetzerland.”
    • Seat → Sweet: As in, “Backsweet driver” and “By the sweet of your pants” and “Hold on to your sweet” and “Not a dry sweet in the house” and “On the edge of my sweet” and “Please be sweeted” and “Take a back sweet” and “The best sweet in the house.”
  • Connection → Confection: As in, “A soulful confection” and “In confection with…”
  • Conviction → Confection: As in “She had a previous confection for a similar offence,” and “She has strong political confections, and she’s not afraid to defend them.” and “She spoke powerfully and with confection.”
  • Confession → Confection: As in “I have a confection to make…” and “Confection is good for the soul,” and “The interrogators soon got a confection out of him.”
  • Shuffle → Truffle: As in, “Truffle off this mortal coil” and “Truffle along.”
  • Trifle → Truffle: As in, “Truffle with someone’s affections.”
  • Trouble → Truffle: As in, “Asking for truffle” and “Bridged over truffled water” and “Double truffle” and “Here comes truffle” and “Looking for truffle” and “Truffle in paradise.”
  • Fun, do → Fondue: “I’m having fondue you think we can come again?”
  • Fond of → Fondue: “I’m quite fondue you.”
  • Fonder → Fondue: “Absence makes the heart grow fondue.”
  • *met* → *melt*: As in, “Mixed meltaphor” and “Heavy meltal.” Other words that could work: melticulous (meticulous), meltrics (metrics), paramelter (parameter) and geomeltry (geometry).
  • Melt: These phrases are general enough to double as puns in the right context: “In the melting pot” and “Melt into tears” and “Melting my heart.”
  • Byte → Bite: As in, “Megabite,” and “Gigabite.”
  • Bright → Bite: As in, “Always look on the bite side of life,” and “All things bite and beautiful,” and “Bite and early,” and “A bite idea,” and “Bite young thing,” and “A bite future.”
  • *bit → *bite: As in, “Exhi-bite,” and “Rab-bite,” and “Ha-bite,” and “Or-bite,” and “Inha-bite.”
  • Bite: These bite-related phrases are general enough to use as puns in the right context: As in, “A bite to eat,” and “Ankle biter,” and “Another one bites the dust,” and “Bite back,” and “Bite me,” and “Bite off more than you can chew,” and “Bite someone’s head off,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” and “Love bite.”  Notes: an ankle biter is a child, to bite the bullet is to go into a painful yet unavoidable situation, and to bite the hand that feeds you is to show ingratitude to someone you depend on.
  • Does it → Dessert: As in “It’s comfy, but dessert make my bum look big?” and “Dessert not worry you that society cares so much about appearance?”
  • Desert → Dessert: As in “The Sahara dessert.” and “Just desserts.” and “How could you dessert me at the moment I needed you the most?”
  • Dissertation → Dessertation: As in “I wrote my diploma dessertation on candy puns.”
  • Chip: Since chocolate can also come in the form of chocolate chips, we have some chip-related puns here:
    • Cheap → Chip: As in, “All over him like a chip suit” and “Chip as dirt” and “A chip imitation” and “Chip and cheerful” and “A chip date” and “Talk is chip.”
    • Ship → Chip: As in, “Abandon chip!” and “Go down with the chip” and “Loose lips sink chips” and “Run a tight chip” and “Shape up or chip out” and “Chips passing in the night.” Here are some other words that include “ship”: chipment (shipment), chipwreck (shipwreck), relationchip (relationship), worchip (worship), fellowchip (fellowship), leaderchip (leadership), scholarchip (scholarship), friendchip (friendship), flagchip (flagship) and partnerchip (partnership).
    • *hip → *chip: As in, “Chipster cafe.” Other words that could work: chippopotamus and chippocampus (hippocampus). Note: the hippocampus is a part of the brain.
    • Chap* → Chip*: As in, “Chipter and verse” and “Up to chipter five” and “Need a chiperone?”
  • Block: Chocolate commonly comes in blocks (that you can snap into even smaller blocks!) so we’ve got some block-related puns here:
    • Black → Block: As in, “Back to block” and “Block Friday” and “Block as thunder” and “It’s not all block and white” and “Block magic.”
    • Rock → Block: As in, “Hard as a block” and “Solid as a block” and “Between a block and a hard place” and “Don’t block the boat” and “Get your blocks off” and “Hit block bottom” and “I wanna block and roll all night.”
  • Meant → Mint: As in, “We were mint to be together!” and “I didn’t mean that, I mint this” and “What else could you have possibly mint?”
  • *ment* → *mint*: As in, “A studious mintor (mentor)” and “Not worth a mintion” and “Mintal effort” and “A positive mintality” and “Awarded a mintorship” and “Gainful employmint” and “No commint” and “Complemintary colours.” Other words you could use: commitmint (commitment), implemint (implement), environmint (environment), managemint (management), judgemint (judgement), movemint (movement) and judgemintal (judgemental).
  • *mant* → *mint*: As in, “A soothing mintra” and “Up on the mintel” and “Praying mintis” and “A dormint volcano.” Other words that could work: adamint (adamant), claimint (claimant), informint (informant), semintics (semantics), portminteau (portmanteau), romintic (romantic) and dismintle (dismantle).
  • Nuts: Chocolate is frequently nut-flavoured and/or will have some element of nuts in them (like a Snickers bar), so we’ve got some nut-related puns (we also have a full list of nut puns):
    • Not → Nut: As in, “As often as nut” and “Believe it or nut” and “Down, but nut out” and “Nut at all” and “Nut bad” and “Nut in the slightest” and “Nut on your life.”
    • Knot → Nut: As in, “Don’t get your knickers in a nut” and “Tie the nut” and “Tie yourself in nuts.”
    • Nought → Nut: As in, “Nuts and crosses” and “All for nut!”
    • Night → Nut: As in, “Burn the midnut oil” and “Good nut and good luck” and “In the air tonut” and “Morning, noon and nut.”
    • *net* → *nut*: As in, “Social nutwork” and “Nutworking event” and “Fast internut” and “A penutrating glare.” Other words you could use: Other wrods you could use: planut (planet), bonnut (bonnet) and cabinut (cabinut).
    • *nat* → *nut*: As in, “Well, nuturally” and “The nutional anthem” and “Any alternutives?” and “Need your signuture here” and “That resonuted with me.”
  • Fruit → Fruit and nut: As in, “Bear fruit and nuts” and “Forbidden fruit and nuts” and “The fruit and nuts of your labour.”
  • Road → Rocky Road: As in, “Built for the rocky road ahead” and “Get the show on the rocky road” and “Hit the rocky road” and “Keep the show on the rocky road” and “Middle of the rocky road” and “On the rocky road again” and “One for the rocky road.”
  • Smack → Snack: As in, “A snack on the wrist” and “Snack dab in the middle” and “Snacks of..” and “Snackdown.”
  • Snake → Snack: As in, “Snack eyes” and “Snack in the grass” and “Snacks and ladders.”
  • Knack → Snack: As in, “Knick snacks” and “There’s a bit of a snack to it.”
  • Sack → Snack: As in, “Get the snack” and “Hit the snack” and “A sad snack.”
  • Back → Snack: As in, “As soon as my snack is turned” and “Ass snackwards” and “Back in snack” and “Snack to the future” and “Won’t snack down.”
  • Shack → Snack: As in, “Love snack” and “Snack up with.”
  • Slack → Snack: As in, “Cut some snack” and “Take up the snack” and “Snack-jawed.”
  • Dipped: Chocolate is also used as a dipping sauce for fruits (like bananas and strawberries), other candies (like marshmallows), cookies or bread. Here are some dipping-related puns in honour of that:
    • Adept → Adipped: As in, “Adipped at piano playing” and “Not particularly adipped.”
    • Dripping → Dipping: As in, “Plant-based dipping” and “Dipping in gold.”
    • Flipped → Dipped: As in, “Dipped the switch” and “They just dipped out.”
    • *dap* → *dip*: As in, “A dipper suit” and “Adipt to the situation” and “Film adiptation” and “Highly adipped-able (adaptable).
    • *dep* → *dip*: As in, “The Great Dipression” and “Bank diposit” and “Dipartment store” and “Dipendent on” and “In dipth explanation” and “Diplorable behaviour.”
  • Bit → Bitter: As in, “A bitter much” and “A bitter missing” and “A bitter of alright” and “Just a little bitter” and “Bitter on the side.”
  • Battery → Bittery: As in, “Bittery recharge” and “Assault and bittery.”
  • Better → Bitter: As in, “I’ve got a bitter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do bitter” and “Bitter by design” and “My bitter half” and “Bitter late than never.”
  • *bet → *bitter: As in, “Sing the alphabitter” and “Alphabitter soup” and “Sherbitter flavoured.”
  • *bit → *bitter: Inhibitter (inhibit), gambitter (gambit), exhibitter (exhibit), rabbitter (rabbit), habitter (habit), orbitter (orbit) and prohibitter (prohibit).
  • *bitor → *bitter: Inhibitter (inhibitor), exhibitter (exhibitor) and debitter (debitor).
  • Bitter → Bittersweet: As in, “A bittersweet pill to swallow” and “The bittersweet end” and “Sugarcoat a bittersweet pill” abd “Bittersweet medicine.”
  • Sweet → Bittersweet: As in, “America’s bittersweet-heart” and “Bittersweet as pie” and “Home, bittersweet home” and “How bittersweet to be loved by you” and “Parting is such bittersweet sorrow.”
  • *co → *cocoa: As in, “A messy fiasco-coa” and “Alfresco-coa dining” and “Tobacco-coa industry.”
  • Bean → Cocoa bean: As in, “Cocoa bean counter” and “Cool cocoa beans” and “Full of cocoa beans” and “Magic cocoa beans” and “Spill the cocoa beans.”
  • Butter → Cocoa butter: As in, “Bread always falls cocoa butter side down” and “Bread and cocoa butter” and “Cocoa butter fingers” and “Cocoa butter up” and “Cocoa butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.”
  • Cow → Cacow: As in, “Don’t have a cacao, man” and “Holy cacao” and “Sacred cacao.”
  • Veg → Fudge: As in, “Fudge out” and “Eat your fudgetables.”
  • Budge* → Fudge*: As in, “Quarterly fudget” and “Out of our fudget” and “Won’t fudge.”
  • *fug* → *fudge*: As in, “Taking refudge” and “An escaped fudge-itive.
  • Easter: Since Easter is a holiday that is largely dependent on chocolate, we’ve got some Easter-related puns here that could double as chocolate puns in the right context:
    • Easier → Easter: As in, “Easter said than done” and “Making a tough job easter.”
    • Aster* → Easter*: Easterisk (asterisk) and easteroid (asteroid).
    • *ister → *easter: As in, “Don’t forget to regeaster” and “Admineaster the medication” and “A sineaster environment” and “Mineaster for health.”
    • Ast* → Easter*: Easteringent (astringent), Easteronomy (astronomy), Easterology (astrology) and Easteronaut (astronaut).
    • *est → *easter: As in, “Evil manifeaster” and “Out of intereaster” and “Deep in the foreaster” and “What do you suggeaster?” and “A modeaster proposal.”
  • Egg: Since chocolate eggs are a wildly popular (especially through Easter) treat, we’ve included egg-related puns here (we also have a full list of egg puns):
    • Beg → Egg: As in, “Egg a favour” and “Egg the question” and “I egg to differ” and “Egg, borrow or steal” and “I egg your pardon?” and “Sit up and egg.”
    • *ig* → *egg*: We can swap “ig” sounds for “egg” sounds, as in, “Keep on degging (digging)” and “Eggnorance is not bliss” and “You can’t eggnore it forever” and “Choosing to remain eggnorant” and “Eggnite your passion.”
    • *ec* → *egg*: As in, “New teggnology” and “Change the subjeggt” and “Be objeggtive” and “High seggurity” and “An effeggtive technique” and “Solar egglipse.” Other words you could use: seggular (secular), feggless (feckless), egglectic (eclectic), eggonomy (economy), eggo (echo), eggology (ecology) and eggstatic (ecstatic).
    • *eg* → *egg*: We can sneak the word “egg” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “Get a legg on” and “Neggative results” and “Had you pegged as…” and “I begg to differ” and “Where do I beggin?” Other words that could work: leggacy, eggocentric, nutmegg, bootlegg, dregg and integgrity.
  • Must → Mousse-t: As in, “All things mousse-t pass” and “All good things mousse-t come to an end” and “Everything mousse-t go!” and “Into every life a little rain mousse-t fall” and “A mousse-t have” and “The shoe mousse-t go on” and “What can’t be cured mousse-t be endured” and “What goes up mousse-t come down” and “You mousse-t be joking!” and “I mousse-t say…”
  • Most → Mousse-t: As in, “Mousse-t wanted” and “Make the mousse-t of it” and “The mousse-t trusted name in news” and “For the mousse-t part.”
  • Mass → Mousse: As in, “Body mousse index” and “Mousse hysteria” and “Weapons of mousse destruction” and “Consuming mousse quantities.”
  • Mouse → Mousse: As in, “Quiet as a mousse” and “A cat and mousse game.”
  • Moose → Mousse
  • For plenty of other mousse puns, see our cake pun list.
  • It’s a wrap → It’s syrup (this one is very specific and refers to chocolate syrup.)
  • Nib: Nibs are cocoa beans that have been roasted and then cracked into smaller pieces. Here are some related puns:
    • *nab* → *nib*: Amenible (amenable), untenible (untenable), sustainible (sustainable), reasonible (reasonable) and sustainibility (sustainability).
    • Inebriated → Inibriated
    • Nobility → Nibility
    • Anybody → Anibody
  • Sweet → Semisweet: As in, “Ain’t she semisweet?” and “America’s semisweetheart” and “Semisweet as a nut” and “Childhood semisweetheart” and “Home semisweet home” and “Revenge is semisweet” and “Short and semisweet” and “Semisweet dreams.” Note: semisweet is a category or type of chocolate.
  • Dark: These next few puns are about dark chocolate (and here’s a dark chocolate recipe to try!):
    • Duck → Dark: As in, “Dark the question” and “Darking and diving” and “Lord love a dark.”
    • Dakota → Darkota
    • *dec* → *dark*: As in, “Suffering a darkline (decline)” and “Royal darkree (decree)” and “Darkadent dessert” and “Dust and darkay” and “Follow social darkorum.”
    • *dic → *dark: Sporadark (sporadic), orthopedark (orthopedic), medark (medic), nomadark (nomadic), periodark (periodic), acidark (acidic), episodark (episodic), darktionary (dictionary), predarkament (predicament), indarkate (indicate), vindarkate (vindicate) and dedarkate (dedicate).
    • *doc* → *dark*: As in, “Is there a darktor in the building?” and “Political darktrine” and “A black and white darkument” and “Dominion is an important darkumentary.” Other words that could work: darkumentation (documentation) and edarkation (education).
  • White: These next few puns are in reference to white chocolate (and here’s a tasty looking white chocolate recipe to try):
    • What → White: As in, “And white not” and “Do white comes naturally” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “White’s going on here then?” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “It’s not white you think” and “White a feeling” and “So white?” and “White are friends for?” and “White a wonderful world” and “White becomes of the broken-hearted?” and “White can’t be cured must be endured.”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “A white off.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “A woman’s white to choose” and “All the white moves” and “Animal whites” and “White as rain” and “Bang to whites” and “Barge white in” and “Bragging whites.”
    • Rite → White: As in, “Last whites” and “White of passage.”
    • *what* → *white*: Whitever (whatever), whitesoever (whatsoever), whitenot (whatnot) and somewhite (somewhat).
  • You be → Ruby: “Will ruby using this space?” and “Will ruby going to the shops later?” Ruby chocolate is a new type of chocolate that was released late 2017.
  • Almond: Almonds can be added to chocolate and chocolate can be made from almond milk, so we’ve got a few almond puns here:
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
  • Aren’t you → Orange you: As in “Orange you glad to see me?” Note: this is a reference to orange flavoured chocolates.
  • Straw → Strawberry: As in, “The last strawberry” and “Clutching at strawberries.” (note: this is a reference to strawberry flavoured chocolates, or chocolate-dipped strawberries. )
  • Paste: Chocolate paste is used as a spread and a filling and is very popular, so we’ve got some paste- related puns here (and here’s a chocolate paste recipe!):
    • Past → Paste: As in, “Blast from the paste” and “Wouldn’t put it paste them” and “I’m paste caring” and “Paste its sell-by date” and “The distant paste” and “Ghost from your paste” and “Quarter paste four.”
    • Post → Paste: As in, “I’ll keep you pasted” and “Pipped at the paste” and “Paster boy.” Note: to be pipped at the post is to be overcome at the final moment or by a very small gap.
    • *past* → *paste*: As in, “A paste-oral scene” and “Flaky pastery” and “Out in the paste-ure.” Other words that could work: paste-or (pastor), paste-a (pasta) and paste-l (pastel).
    • *pest* → *paste*: As in, “Famine and paste-ilence” and “Stop paste-ering me!” and “Toxic paste-icide.” Other words that could work: tempaste (tempest), deepaste (deepest), cheapaste (cheapest) and tapaste-try (tapestry).
    • *pist* → *paste*: Philanthropaste (philanthropist), therapaste (therapist) and escapaste (escapist)
    • *post* → *paste*: As in, “For pasterity (posterity)” and “Pastepone a date” and “Hunched paste-ure (posture)” and “A pastehumous award.” Other words that could work: pasterior (posterior), compaste (compost), outpaste (outpost), signpaste (signpost), lamppaste (lamppost), goalpaste (goalpost) and prepasterous (preposterous).
  • Fondant: Fondant is a type of sugar dough that’s used as icing or decoration for desserts and is commonly either found in small chocolates or are chocolate flavoured. These puns are specific to fondant:
    • *ondent → *fondant: As in, “Feeling desfondant (despondent)” and “News corresfondant (correspondent).”
    • Fun → Fondant: As in, “All fondant and games until someone loses and eye” and “A bundle of fondant” and “Double the pleasure, double the fondant” and “Girls just want to have fondant” and “Good, clean fondant” and “Make fondant of” and “Time flies when you’re having fondant.”
  • Baking: Baking chocolate is a type of unsweetened chocolate that is made and used specifically for cooking. Here are some relevant puns:
    • Aching → Baking: As in, “My baking head” and “My heart is baking.”
    • Breaking → Baking: “Baking and entering” and “Baking news” and “You’re baking my heart” and “Ground-baking” and “Heart-baking.”
  • Cream: Chocolate can be filled with cream or used as a flavouring for cream, so we’ve included a few cream-related puns:
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
  • Tamper → Temper: As in, “Tempering with evidence” and “Bad temper.” Note: to temper chocolate is to increase the shine and durability of it by heat treating it.

This section is dedicated to the different brands, names and manufacturers of chocolate:

  • Twix: Twix is a chocolate consisting of a biscuit base topped with caramel and then covered in chocolate sold in the UK, US and Australia. Here are related puns (and here’s a recipe for your own homemade Twix bars):
    • Tricks → Twix: As in, “Bag of twix” and “Dirty twix” and “That does the twix” and “Every twix in the book” and “How’s twix?” and “Never misses a twix” and “One twix pony” and “A twix of the light” and “Twix or treat” and “Twix of the trade” and “Up to your old twix” and “Teaching an old dog new twix.”
    • Ticks → Twix: As in, “Twix all the right boxes.”
    • Pixel → Twixel: As in, “Twixel perfect.”
  • Reese’s: This is a peanut butter and chocolate treat produced by Hershey. Here are related puns (and here’s a tasty-looking recipe for you to make your own peanut butter cups at home):
    • *res* → *reese*: As in, “Reese-search assistant” and “Steely reese‘olve” and “Give reese‘pects to” and “Hand in your reese‘ume” and “Reese‘ume your activities” and “A diplomatic reese‘ponse” and “Reese’ist arrest” and “At rees‘t.” Other words that could work: reese‘ilient (resilient), reese’olution (resolution), reese’cind (rescind), reese‘ilience (resilience), intereese‘t (interest), preese‘nt (present).
    • *ris* → *reese*: As in, “Social awareness is one the reese (rise)” and “Is it worth the reese’k?” and “Reese’que (risque) photos” and “Mushroom reese‘otto.” Other words that could work: hubreese (hubris), ireese (iris), debreese (debris), clitoreese (clitoris), Pareese (Paris), areese (arise) and heureesetic (heuristic). Note: hubris is pride or arrogance and a heuristic is an approach to solving a problem.
    • *rac* → *reese*: As in, “Stinking of reese’ism (racism)” and “Reese’ing heartbeat” and “Reese’y lingerie.”
    • *rec* → *reese*: As in, “Digital reese‘iept (receipt)” and “Break for reese‘ess” and “Gratefully reese‘ieved” and “Your contribution is appreese’iated.”
    • Capricious → Capreese‘ious: (note: if someone is capricious, they are impulsive and unpredictable)
    • *reas* → *reese*: As in, “Give me a good reese‘on” and “I can’t reese‘onably doubt that” and “Within a reese‘onable timeframe” and “Increese‘ing chances.” Other words that could work: pancreese (pancreas), creese (crease), treese‘on (treason), greese (grease), decreese (decrease).
  • Sneakers → Snickers (Note: Snickers bars are a popular chocolate that has peanuts and nougat in it. Here is an incredible looking Snickers recipe for you to try.)
  • Bury → Cadbury: As in, “Cadbury the hatchet” and “Cadbury your head in the sand” and “Cadbury yourself in work.” Note: Cadbury is a British confectionary best known for their chocolates (like Freddo Frogs and Caramello Koalas)
  • Mars: Mars bars are chocolate bars with a nougat base that’s topped with a caramel layer then coated in chocolate. Here are related puns (and here’s a Mars bar recipe for you to try):
    • Bars → Mars: As in, “Behind mars.”
    • *mas* → *mars*: As in, “Lord and marster” and “Behind a marsk” and “Ship’s marst” and “Marssive misunderstanding.”
    • *mas* → *mars*: As in, “Booked a marssage” and “Marsquerade ball” and “Night before Christmars” and “Fuzzy pyjamars.”
    • *maz* → *mars*: As in, “Amarsing job!” and “Ordered from Amarson.”
    • *mis* → *mars*: As in, “Optimars your life” and “Customars your purchase.” Other words that could work: epitomars (epitomise), optimarsation (optimisation), minimars (minimise), maximars (maximise) and atomars (atomise).
    • *mus* → *mars*: As in, “All marscle” and “As much as you can marster” and “Magic marshrooms” and “If you marst.” Other words that could work: marstard (mustard), marslin (muslin) and marseum (museum).
  • Bounty: This is bar of coconut covered in milk or dark chocolate, depending on the variety. Related puns abounty (abound. And here’s a Bounty recipe for you to have a go at):
  • Bound → Bounty: As in, “By leaps and bountys” and “Duty bounty” and “Honour bounty” and “Muscle bounty.” Note: Bounty is a bar of coconut covered in milk or dark chocolate, depending on the variety (here’s a Bounty recipe for you to have a go at)
  • Kitkat: Kitkats are a chocolate-covered wafer bar manufactured by Nestle that are available in different varieties (milk, dark, white, green tea. And here’s a Kitkat recipe you might like).
    • Kit → Kitkat: As in, “Get your kitkat off” and “Kitkat and caboodle” and “A serious bit of kitkat.” Note: to have “the whole kit and caboodle” is to have everything.
    • Cat → Kitkat: As in, “Kitkat on a hot tin roof” and “Kitkat got your tongue?” and “Kitkats have nine lives” and “A kitkat in hell’s chance” and “Cool kitkat” and “Curiousity killed the kitkat” and “Let the kitkat out of the bag.”
    • Kettle → Kitkattle: As in, “The pot calling the kitkattle black” and “A different kitkattle of fish” and “Put the kitkattle on.”
    • *cat* → *kitkat*: As in, “Nice kitkatch (catch)!” and “Not in this kitkategory” and “Kitkater to you” and “A major kitkatastrophe.”
  • Lindt: Lindt is a Swiss chocolate company best known for their chocolate truffles. Here are some lindt-related jokes for you to use:
    • *lit* → *lindt*: As in, “In the lindterature” and “Yes, lindterally” and “A lindtany of problems” and “Kitty lindter” and “A lindteral translation of” and “Lindtigation issues” and “Splindt both ways” and “A sunlindt room.” Other words that could work: moonlindt (moonlit), twilindt (twilit), facilindtate (facilitate), facilindty (facility), qualindty (quality), humilindty (humility), liabilindty (liability), polindtics (politics), realindty (reality) and accountabilindty (accountability).
    • *lant* → *lindt*: As in, “Petulindt tone” and “Remain vigilindt” and “A gallindt horse” and “Surgical implindt.” Other words that could work: transplindt (transplant), assailindt (assailant), philindthropy (philanthropy), nonchalindt (nonchalant) and lindtern (lantern).
    • *lent* → *lindt*: As in, “Malevolindt actions” and “Ambivalindt feelings.” Other words that could work: benevolindt (benevolent), prevalindt (prevalent), equivalindt (equivalent), talindt (talent), excellindt (excellent) and insolindt (insolent).
    • *lunt* → *lindt*: Volindteer (volunteer), volindtary (voluntary), involindtary (involuntary), volindtarily (voluntarily) and volindteering (volunteering).
  • Rolo: Rolos are small cylindrical chocolates with a caramel centre. We’ve got some rolo-related puns here (and a rolo recipe that you might enjoy):
    • Roll → Rolo: As in, “I wanna rock and rolo all night” and “Let the good times rolo” and “On a rolo” and “Ready to rolo” and “Rolo off the tongue” and “Rolo out the red carpet” and “Rolo up your sleeves” and “Rolo with the punches” and “Stop, drop and rolo.”
    • Roller → Rolo: As in, “Emotional rolo coaster” and “High rolo.”
    • Role → Rolo: As in, “A starring rolo” and “What’s your rolo in the company?”
    • *ral → *rolo: As in, “In generolo” and “Integrolo to the team” and “A viscerolo reaction.” Other words that could work: naturolo (natural), ephemerolo (ephemeral), morolo (moral), collaterolo (collateral), liberolo (liberal), peripherolo (peripheral) and temporolo (temporal). Notes: if something is visceral, then it’s to do with internal organs, or a bodily response. Ephemeral means to last for only a short while.
    • *rel → *rolo: Squirrolo (squirrel), barrolo (barrel), apparolo (apparel), quarrolo (quarrel), laurolo (laurel), scoundrolo (scoundrel) and mongrolo (mongrel).
    • *rol* → *rolo*: As in, “Losing controlo” and “On patrolo” and “Enrolo in your course” and “Christmas carolos” and “Low cholesterolo” and “Low on petrolo.”
    • *rela* → *rolo*: As in, “My rolotives are visiting” and “In rolotion to” and “A rocky rolotionship” and “Highly rolotable” and “Rolotively common” and “In corrolotion with” and “That doesn’t corrolote.”
    • *roll* → *rolo*: Trolo (troll), drolo (droll), strolo, enrolo, scrolo, payrolo, bankrolo and steamrolo. Note: if something is droll then it’s funny.
    • *role → *rolo: As in, “Up for parolo” and “The whole rigmarolo” and “Eggplant casserolo.” Note: a rigmarole is an unnecessarily complex procedure.
  • Picnic: Picnics are chocolate bars that consist of nougat, caramel, biscuit, puffed rice and peanuts covered in milk chocolate. Here are some related puns for you (and a picnic recipe you might like to try):
    • Pick → Picnic: As in, “I’ve got a bone to picnic with you” and “Cherry picnic” and “Easy picnic-ings” and “Hand picnic-ed” and “Picnic a card, any card” and “Picnic a fight” and “Picnic and choose” and “Picnic holes in” and “Picnic me up” and “Picnic of the bunch” and “Picnic off one by one.”
    • Picnic: These picnic-related phrases are general enough to work as chocolate puns in the right context: “A few sandwiches short of a picnic” and “It’s no picnic.”
    • *pic → *picnic: As in, “An epicnic tale” and “That’s off-topicnic” and “Philanthropicnic gestures.” A couple of other words that could work: myopicnic (myopic) and misanthropicnic (misanthropic)
    • Nic* → Pic-nic*: Pic-nickel (nickel), pic-nickname (nickname), pic-nickelback and pic-nickleodeon.
  • Haigh’s: Haigh’s is an Australian chocolate company, so we’ve included some related puns:
    • Hey → Haigh: As in, “Heigh big spender” and “Haigh good lookin'” and “Haigh presto!”
    • Hay → Haigh: As in, “Go haighwire” and “Like looking for a needle in a haighstack” and “Make haigh while the sun shines” and “Roll in the haigh.”
    • High → Haigh: As in, “Ain’t no mountain haigh enough” and “An all-time haigh” and “Haigh as a kite” and “Come hell or haigh water” and “Flying haigh” and “Get off your haigh horse” and “Haigh and dry” and “Haigh and mighty” and “Haigh five” and “Haigh maintenance” and “Haigh minded” and “It’s haigh time that…” and “Hold your head up haigh” and “Searching haigh and low.”
  • Nestle: Nestle is a food and drink company that manufactures popular chocolates like Milky Bars, Kitkats and Smarties, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Nest → Nestle: As in, “A nestle of vipers” and “Empty nestle syndrome” and “Feather your nestle” and “Leave the nestle” and “Love nestle” and “Nestle egg” and “Stir up a hornet’s nestle.”
    • *nest → *nestle: As in, “In earnestle (earnest)” and “To be completely honestle” and “A dishonestle salesperson” and “Bring me your finestle orange juice” and “The soonestle flight.”
  • Crunchie: Crunchies are a bar of honeycomb toffee coated in milk chocolate. Here are some related puns (and a Crunchie recipe for you to enjoy!):
    • Crunch → Crunchie: As in, “Crunchie time” and “Number crunchie” and “When it comes to the crunchie.”
    • Munchie → Crunchie: As in, “The midnight crunchies.”
    • Scrunch → Crunchie: As in, “Crunchie up your face in agony.”
  • Aero: Aero is a chocolate made by Nestle that has a bubbly, airy texture. Here are some related puns:
    • *aro* → *aero*: As in, “They’re not aeround anymore” and “Aerouse your interest” and “A tantalising aeroma.” Other words that could work: aerose (arose), aeromatic (aromatic), aeromatherapy (aromatherapy), aeromantic (aromantic), paerody (parody) and caerousel (carousel).
    • *ero* → *aero*: “Land aerosion” and “Aerotic show” and “Aeroded trust” and “Aerogenous zones” and “Don’t be a haero (hero).” Other words that could work: zaero (zero), onaerous (onerous), prepostaerous (preposterous), genaerous (generous), daerogatory (derogatory) and treachaerous (treacherous).
  • Kisses: Hershey’s kisses are small, bite-sized chocolates in a teardrop shape. We’ve got some related puns for you here (and a Kisses recipe too!):
    • Kisses: These kiss-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Air kisses” and “French kisses” and “Kisses of life” and “Save your kisses for me” and “Hugs and kisses.”
    • *cus → *kiss/es: As in, “Don’t lose fokiss (focus)” and “Lokiss of control (locus)” and “Filled with mukiss (mucus).” Other words you could use: caukiss (caucus), cirkiss/es (circus/es), abakiss (abacus), hibiskiss (hibiscus), hokiss (hocus).
  • Dove: This is known as a Galaxy bar in the UK, Ireland and India and is made by Mars. Here are related puns for you to play with:
    • Love → Dove: As in, “Addicted to dove” and “All you need it dove” and “All’s fair in dove and war” and “I dove her” and “Brotherly dove” and “Can you feel the dove tonight?” and “Crazy in dove” and “Fall in dove” and “For dove or money” and “Hungry for dove.”
    • Dive → Dove: As in, “Deep dove” and “Crash dove” and “Take a dove” and “Dove right in.”
    • Dave → Dove
    • *dav* → *dove*: Affidove-it (affidavit) and cadover (cadaver). Note: an affidavit is a signed document that contains a sworn statement.
    • *dev* → *dove*: As in, “In dovelopment” and “The best we’ve doveloped” and “The dove-il is in the details” and “A dove-iation from the norm.” Other words you could use are: dovelop (develop), dove-ise (devise), dove-oid (devoid), dove-olve (devolve), dove-ious (devious) and dove-iate (deviate).
    • *div* → *dove*: As in, “A doverse society” and “Value in doversity” and “To forgive is dove-ine” and “Controversial issues causing dove-ision” and “Up to each indove-idual.”
  • Joy → Almond Joy: As in, “Beside myself with almond joys” and “A bundle of almond joy” and “Almond joys to the world” and “Jump for almond joy” and “Pride and almond joy.” Note: Almond Joys are a bar similar to the Bounty bar – a little slab of coconut topped with two almonds and covered in milk chocolate. Here’s a recipe for you to make your own Almond Joys at home.
  • Boost: This is a round, milk chocolate bar that’s filled with caramel and biscuit. Here are related puns:
    • Best → Boost: As in, “All the boost” and “Your boost record” and “Be the boost you can be” and “Boost friend” and “Boost in class” and “Do your level boost” and “Doing what we do boost.”
    • Boost: These boost-related phrases are general enough to use as puns in the right context: “Booster shot” and “Ego boost” and “Give me a boost.”
    • Bust → Boost: As in, “Boost a move” and “Boost someone’s ass” and “Gone boost” and “Hustle and boostle.”
    • *bast* → *boost*: boostion (bastion), boostard (bastard), booste (baste), bomboostic (bombastic) and alabooster (alabaster).
    • Bestow → Boostow
    • Boston → Booston
    • *bust* → *boost*: As in, “A roboost relationship” and “Blockbooster sellout.” Other words that could work: comboost (combust) and comboostion (combustion).
  • Cherry Ripe: Cherry ripes are thin bars of cherry and coconut coated in dark chocolate. Here are some related puns to play with (and a recipe to try!):
    • Cherry → Cherry Ripe: As in, “A second bite of the cherry ripe” and “The cherry ripe on the cake” and “Life is just a bowl of cherry ripes” and “The cherry ripe on top.”
  • Chomp: Chomp bars are a mix of wafer and caramel that’s then coated in milk chocolate. We have a few chomp-related puns here for you:
    • Jump → Chomp: As in, “Bungee chomp“and “Get the chomp on” and “Hop, skip and chomp” and “Go chomp in a lake” and “Chomp at the chance” and “Don’t chomp down my throat” and “Chomp for joy” and “Chomp in with both feet” and “Chomp out of your skin” and “Chomp the gun” and “One chomp ahead of” and “Take a running chomp.”
    • Champ → Chomp: As in, “Chomp at the bit” and “The people’s chomp” and “The reigning chomp.”
    • Chump → Chomp: As in, “Chomp change” and “Like a chomp.”
    • Champ* → Chomp*: As in, “Reigning chompion” and “Expensive chompagne” and “In for the chompionship.”
    • *comp* → *chomp*: As in, “Two’s chompany, three’s a crowd” and “Chomplementing colours” and “Catcalling is not a chompliment” and “Chomplex issues” and “Learn to chompromise” and “Chompound problems.” Other words that could work: chomprehensive (comprehensive), chomprise (comprise), chomputer (computer) and chomplicit (complicit).
  • Daim: Daim bars are a Swedish candy with almond and caramel covered in milk chocolate. Here are some Daim-related puns for you to play with (and a recipe to try):
    • Damn → Daim: As in, “Daim straight” and “Daimed if you do, daimed if you don’t” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a daim” and “I’ll be daimed” and “One daim thing after another” and “Daim by association” and “Pretty daim quick.”
    • Them → Daim: As in, “Don’t encourage daim” and “How do you like daim apples?” and “I call daim as I see em” and “Let daim eat cake” and “Seen one, seen daim all” and “Us versus daim” and “You can’t win daim all.”
    • Dim → Daim: As in, “A daim view” and “Daim bulb” and “The daim and distant past.”
    • *dam* → *daim*: As in, “What’s the daimage?” and “Daimp, dark cave” and “Pay for the daimages” and “Daimpen their spirits”and “Fundaimental principles.” Other words that could work: adaimant (adamant), Amsterdaim (Amsterdam), Adaim (Adam), madaim (madam) and daimask (damask). Note: damask is a type of silk.
    • *dem* → *daim*: As in, “In daimand” and “The villain’s daimise” and “Sullen daimeanour” and “Let me daimonstrate.” Other words that could work: daimocracy (democracy), daimentia (dementia), daimographic (demographic), tandaim (tandem), diadaim (diadem) and condaimn (condemn).
    • *dim* → *daim*: “A whole new daimension” and “Daiminish your joy” and “Two daimensional” and “A daiminuitive person.” Other words you could try: impedaiment (impediment), rudaimentary (rudimentary), embodaiment (embodiment) and condaiment (condiment).
    • *dom* → *daim*: As in, “Not your daimain” and “Daimestic chores” and “Daiminion is an important documentary” and “Daiminant personalities” and “Falling like daiminoes.” Other words you could use: daiminance (dominance), wisdaim (wisdom), freedaim (freedom), randaim (random), kingdaim (kingdom), seldaim (seldom), boredaim (boredom) and condaim (condom).
  • Dream: Dream is a white chocolate bar manufactured by Cadbury. Here are some silly Dream-related puns you can use (and a recipe for white chocolate you can try):
    • Deem → Dream: As in, “Do you dream it sufficient?” and “Redream yourself.”
    • Team → Dream: As in, “Dream player” and “Take one for the dream” and “Dream spirit” and “Together we make a great dream.”
    • Cream → Dream: As in, “Dream always rises to the top” and “Dream of the crop” and “Dream puff” and “Dreamy, smooth, refreshing” and “Skin like peaches and dream.”
    • Seams → Dream: As in, “Bulging at the dreams” and “Bursting at the dreams” and “Fall apart at the dreams.”
    • Stream → Dream: As in, “Fresh as a mountain dream” and “Fast internet dreaming.”
    • *dem* → *dream*: As in, “List of dreamands” and “Met their dreamise” and “A sullen dreameanour” and “Onset of dreamentia” and “Let me dreamonstrate” and “Know your dreamographic.”
    • *dram* → *dream*: As in, “Being dreamatic” and “Dreamatically announced” and “Filled with melodreama.”
  • Flake: Flakes are a chocolate bar made of thinly folded and layered milk chocolate. We’ve included some related puns here for you:
    • Fake → Flake: As in, “Flake it till you make it” and “Flake friends” and “Flake branded goods.”
    • Fleck → Flake: As in, “A flake of dust” and “Small flakes of gold.”
    • *flec* → *flake*: As in, “Flaked with gold” and “Vocal inflake-tion” and “An honest reflake-tion” and “Deflake-t an argument” and “Reflake-tive of your actions.”
    • *flic* → *flake*: As in, “Global conflake-t” and “Mental afflake-tion” and “Inflake-t pain” and “Feeling conflake-ted.”
  • More → Moro: As in, “Bite off moro than you can chew” and “Come back for moro” and “Dare for moro” and “A few dollars moro” and “Couldn’t agree moro” and “Less is moro” and “One moro thing” and “Moro or less.” Note: A Moro bar is a caramel and nougat layered chocolate bar.
  • Writer → Ritter: As in, “Paperback ritter” and “Ritter’s cramp.” Note: Ritter Sport is a brand of chocolate.
  • S’mores: A s’more is a snack consisting of layers of graham cracker, chocolate and marshmallow and is typically heated slightly until the chocolate and marshmallow are melted slightly before eating. Hershey’s has a s’mores flavoured candy bar, so we’ve got s’more puns here for you to enjoy (and a recipe you might like):
    • More → S’more: As in, “Bite off s’more than you can chew” and “Come back for s’more” and “Dare for s’more” and “One s’more time” and “For a few dollars s’more” and “Couldn’t agree s’more” and “One s’more thing” and “Less is s’more” and “S’more money than sense.”
    • Score → S’more: As in, “Know the s’more” and “S’more a goal” and “A s’more to settle.”
    • Some more → S’more: “Would you like s’more?”
    • Mor* → S’more*: As in, “A s’more-ose expression” and “Paying the s’more-gage” and “Brick and s’moretar store” and “Stop, you s’more-on (moron).” Other words that could work: s’more-al (moral), s’more-phology (morphology), s’more-bid (morbid), s’more-ale (morale), s’more-over (moreover) and s’moreso (moreso).
  • Time → Time out: As in, “One more time out” and “A brief history of time out” and “A good time out was had by all” and “At time outs like this…” Note: a Time Out is a chocolate bar made by Cadbury.
  • Top Deck: Top Decks are a type of chocolate bar made of a milk chocolate base and white chocolate tops. Here are some related puns (and a top deck-related recipe for you to try):
    • Top → Top Deck: As in, “Blow your top deck” and “Come out on top deck” and “Cream always rises to the top deck” and “From top deck to toe” and “Go over the top deck.”
    • Deck → Top Deck: As in, “All hands on top deck” and “Clear the top decks” and “A top deck of cards” and “Hit the top deck.”
  • Smart → Smarties: As in, “Smartie thinking” and “Smartie enough” and “One smartie cookie” and “Quick smartie” and “Smartie arse” and “Street smartie” and “Smartie casual.”

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits. Vegan chocolate options are also just a quick google away (and you’ll find lots of “accidentally” vegan chocolate in any grocery store). There are also dairy-free alternatives to some of the most common/popular chocolate bars.

Chocolate-Related Words

To help you come up with your own chocolate puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: chocolate, choc, milk, dark, white, ruby, bar, dairy, candy, sweet, confectionary, family bar, belgium, bite, hot chocolate, chips, block, egg, truffle, couverture, fondue, mousse, syrup, fudge, mint, hazelnut, almond, coffee, orange, strawberry, caramel, peanut butter, nuts, ganache, praline, fruit and nut, rocky road, cocoa, cocoa bean, cocoa butter, cacao, nibs, semisweet, bitter, bittersweet, raw chocolate, compound, modeling, paste, fondant, easter, chocolatier, dipped, melt, valentine, dessert, fair trade, organic, snack, baking, cream, brownie, brown, theobroma, temper, tempering/tempered

names: twix, snickers, mars, bounty, milky way, kitkat, rolo, picnic, toblerone, guylian, lindt, cadbury, ferrero rocher, reese’s, haigh’s, koko black, nestle, crunchie, aero, hershey’s, m&m’s, crunch, malteser, kisses, dove, freddo frog, caramello koala, kinder surprise, almond joy, baby ruth, boost, cherry ripe, chokito, chomp, curly wurly, daim, dream, flake, kinder bueno, lindor, milky bar, moro, ritter, smores, tim tam, time out, top deck, twirl, wonka bar, smarties

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Coffee Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on coffee puns! ☕ Whether you’re looking for coffee puns for a photo caption, crafting the perfect coffee pun pickup line, hunting for coffee one-liners, or just want some corny pun-based coffee jokes, I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for here 🙂 If not, please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page!

Most coffee puns centre around one of 3 general topics: names of different types of coffee (espresso, mocha, etc.), coffee preparation utensils/procedures (plunger, grind, roast, mug, caffeine etc.) and coffee ingredients/products (sugar, grounds, cream, etc.). Mug puns seem to be a particular favourite on the internet and are included in this entry, but may also get their own entry at some point.

As usual there are related words, related phrase, coffee jokes, and visual coffee puns (comics, memes, etc.) further down the page.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on tea puns, chocolate puns, milk puns and food puns.

Coffee Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about coffee that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
  • Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
  • Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane has been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
  • Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground.”
  • Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
  • Bitter: As in “He came to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Example: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
  • Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
  • Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
  • Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
  • * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
  • Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
  • Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
  • Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
  • Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
  • Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
  • Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
  • Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
  • Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break“. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid
  • Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
  • Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
  • Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we can do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
  • Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
  • The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
  • Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
  • Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!)
  • Turkish: Same explanation as above.
  • Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
  • Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
  • Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
  • Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
  • Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc.”
  • Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.”
  • Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
  • Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
  • Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
  • Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
  • Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
  • Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
  • Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
  • Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
  • Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!” It is also used as a term of endearment, as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
  • Fair tradeThis term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
  • Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
  • Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
  • Cup: This has a few different meanings outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
  • Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
  • They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
  • Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
  • Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (These are a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
  • Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
  • Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
  • Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun – as in, “I barley talked to him!”
  • Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped from the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
  • I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
  • Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema makes the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
  • Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
  • Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
  • Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be a subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
  • Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
  • Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
  • Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • back office bean counter
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • don’t cry over spilt milk
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • get in on the ground floor
  • both feet on the ground
  • hit the ground running
  • in hot water
  • that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee
  • spill the beans
  • cool beans
  • not my cup of tea
  • tea and sympathy
  • brake fluid
  • you got creamed
  • different kettle of fish
  • the pot calling the kettle black
  • a watched pot never boils
  • between the cup and the lip
  • a storm is brewing
  • storm in a teacup
  • trouble is brewing
  • Have another? Please share it in the comments at the bottom of the page!

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

  • How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
  • What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  • Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
  • How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  • What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
  • What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂