Chemistry Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on chemistry puns! 🔬🧪🥽🔥

Continuing on the STEM related fun from our mega math pun list, we now have a chemistry pun entry for all of your highly technical (and corny) needs.

We’ve done our best to cover all chemistry-related jokes and topics, from equipment to theories and the periodic table – so no matter what you’re looking for, we hope to have you covered. If this list is too specific, we’ve got a general science list on the way too!

Chemistry Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about chemistry that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of chemistry puns:

  • At ’em → Atom: As in, “Up and atom!”
  • At → Atom: As in, “Atom the library” and “Where you atom?”
  • Platonic → Platomic: As in, “An platomic relationship.”
  • Verbatim → Verbatom
  • Mister → Chemist-er: As in, “No more chemist-er Nice Guy” and “Chemist-er Right is a myth.”
  • Missed → Chemist: “Chemist it by that much!” and “My heart chemist a beat.”
  • Signs → Science: “Vital science” and “Missed all the science.”
  • Lap → Lab: As in, “Lab it up” and “Lab of luxury” and “Lab of honour” and “Fall into your lab.”
  • Photo → Photon: As in, “A photon finish” and “Photon opportunity” and “Take a photon, it’ll last longer.”
  • Futon → Photon: As in, “Photon couch” and “Pack the photons away.”
  • Article → Particle: As in, “Newspaper particle” and “Particle of clothing” and “The genuine particle.”
  • Party → Particle: As in, “Bachelorette particle” and “Fight for the right to particle” and “Cuddle particle” and “The injured particle” and “It’s my particle and I’ll cry if I want to” and “Particle like it’s 1999″ and “Particle animal” and “Down to particle.”
  • Cool → Molecule: As in, “Molecule as a cucumber” and “Molecule as a mountain stream” and “Molecule your heels” and “Molecule, calm and collected” and “Lose your molecule.”
  • Eye on → Ion: As in, “I’ve got my ion you” and “What have you got your ion?”
  • Eye → Ion: As in, “Wandering ion” and “All fun and games until someone loses an ion” and “An ion-opening experience” and “Avert your ions” and “Bat your ions” and “Beauty is in the ion of the beholder” and “Bedroom ions” and “Before your very ions” and “Better than a poke in the ion with a sharp stick” and Do my ions deceive me?”
  • Iron → Ion: “Hard as ion” and “A cast ion alibi” and “Ion man” and “Ion out the wrinkles” and “Pumping ion” and “Rule with an ion first” and “Strike while the ion is hot.”
  • Particular → Particle-ar: “Not in particle-ar” and “Only for particle-ar people.”
  • Electric → Electron: As in, “Do android dream of electron sheep?”
  • Electronic (emphasise the “electron” in “electronic”).
  • *atum → *atom: We can sneak “atom” into words that have the “atum” sound for some atomically bad puns: Stratom (stratum) and ultimatom (ultimatum).
  • *lib* → *lab*: If a word has “lib” in it, we can change it to lab (as in laboratory): “Laberal arts” and “Not at laberty to say” and “Public labrary.” Other words that could work: labido (libido), laberate (liberate), delaberate (deliberate), gullable (gullible) and equilabrium (equilibrium).
  • *lob* → *lab*: Labster (lobster), labby (lobby) and labbyist (lobbyist).
  • *lub* → *lab*: Labricant (lubricant) and labricate (lubricate).
  • *lap* → *lab*: As in, “A labse in judgement” and “Secret labtop” and “Act as a labdog” and “Not much overlab.” Other words you could use: overlab (overlap), burlab (burlap), clab (clap), thunderclab (thunderclap) and collabse (collapse).
  • Matter: Matter has a couple of different meanings, but in science it refers to anything that has mass and takes up space. Here are some related puns:
    • Met her → Matter: As in, “No, I haven’t matter before.”
    • Metre → Matter: As in, “By the matter” and “50 matters to the left.”
    • *mat* → *matter*: As in, “Matterial possessions” and “Matterialise before your very eyes” and “Matternal instincts” and “Matternity clothes.”
    • *met* → *matter*: As in, “Mixed matterphor” and “Fixed paramatters” and “Sacred geomattery” and “Around the perimatter.”
  • Ass → Mass: As in, “Mass backwards” and “Blow smoke up your mass” and “Bust your mass” and “Get your mass into gear” and “Half massed” and “Get your mass over here.”
  • Maths → Mass: As in, “Mental mass” and “Late for mass class.”
  • Mess → Mass: As in, “Mass with your head” and “A frightful mass” and “Hot mass” and “Massing around” and “Massed up” and “Stop massing about.”
  • Miss → Mass: “Blink and you’ll mass it” and “Hit and mass” and “Give it a mass” and “I’ll mass you” and “Mass the boat” and “Massing link” and “Massing in action” and “Massing, presumed lost.”
  • Meant → Element: As in, “Element to be” and “Element to fly.”
  • *mas* → *mass*: “A Christmass miracle!” and “Massquerade ball” and “Bananas in Pyjamass.”
  • *mes* → *mass*: As in, “Mixed massages” and “A massy situation” and “Massmerised by you.” Other words that could work: massh (mesh), massenger (messenger), massiah (messiah), nemassis (nemesis) and domasstic (domestic).
  • *mis* → *mass*: Massogyny (misogyny), massion (mission), masstake (mistake), masscellaneous (miscellaneous), masschevious (mischevious), masschief (mischief), epidermass (epidermis), premass (premise), compromass (compromise), commassion (commission) and euphemassism (euphemism).
  • *mos* → *mass*: As in, “Buzzing around like a massquito” and “At the masst” and “The best in the cosmass.” Other words you could try: thermass (thermos), atmassphere (atmosphere) and animassity (animosity).
  • *mus* → *mass*: Masscle (muscle), masster (muster), masstard (mustard), hummass (hummus), litmass (litmus) and masslin (muslin).
  • *mac* → *mass*: As in, “Another cog in the masshine.” Other words you could try: masserate (macerate), masshete (machete), pharmassy (pharmacy) and emassiated (emaciated).
  • Charge: Protons and electrons will have either a positive or negative charge, so we’ve included charge in this list too:
    • Barge → Charge: “Don’t just charge right in.”
    • Large → Charge: As in, “Charger than life” and “At charge” and “By and charge” and “Looming charge.”
    • Change → Charge: As in, “A charge is as good as a rest” and “A leopard cannot charge its spots” and “A welcome charge” and “Charge for the better” and “Charge hands” and “Charge of heart” and “Charge of pace” and “Charge the subject.”
  • Positive: These positive-related phrases are in reference to positive charge, and are general enough to use as chemistry puns: “Positive thinking” and “I’m absolutely positive” and “Came back positive.”:
  • Negative: These negative-related phrases are about negative charge and can double as science puns: “Negative equity” and “A negative thinker” and “That’s a negative.”
  • pH: The pH level of a substance is the measure of how acidic or basic it is. Here are some related puns:
    • *pH*: If we emphasise a capital “H” in words that already have “ph” in them, it’s a quick and easy way to make pH puns: “Off to the pHarmacy” and “pHantom menace” and “Had an epipHany.” Other words that could work: elepHant, empHasis, pHenomenon, pHeasant, catastropHe, apostropHe, peripHeral, epHemeral, atmospHere, decipHer, pHilosopHy, pHilanthropy, sopHisticated and grapHic.
    • *f* → *pH*: Since “f” and “ph” have the same sound, we can swap the “f” in words for “ph” and emphasise the “h” for a quick pH pun: “On the sopHa” and “AlpHalfa sprouts” and “pHamily pHoto” and “Two-pHaced.” Other words that could work: pHactor (factor), benepHactor (benefactor), nepHarious, pHaith, lipHe (life), stripHe (strife), knipHe (knife), pHever, repHerence (reference), pHeature (feature), manipHest, pHeasible, pHeel (feel) and pHeign (feign).
  • California → Califormula
  • Solution: Solution has a couple of different meanings (the answer to a problem or a mix of different liquids). These solution-related phrases can double as chemistry puns: “If you’re not a part of the solution, you’re part of the problem” and “Time to think up some solutions.”
  • Iconic → Ionic: As in, “An ionic image” and “What an ionic outfit” and “Ionic celebrity.”
  • Sell → Cell: As in, “Buy and cell” and “Past the cell-by date” and “Cell out” and “Celling like hot cakes” and “The celling point.”
  • Shell → Cell: As in, “Come out of your cell” and “Drop a bombcell” and “In a nutcell” and “Cell out” and “Cell shocked.”
  • Bell → Cell: “Alarm cells begin to ring” and “Clear as a cell” and “Cells and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a cell.”
  • Smell → Cell: “Come up celling of roses” and “I cell a rat” and “Cells like teen spirit” and “Stop and cell the roses.”
  • Spell → Cell: “Do I have to cell it out?” and “Fall under [someone’s] cell” and “Break the cell” and “A dry cell.”
  • Well → Cell: As in, “Exceedingly cell read” and “Get cell soon” and “Just as cell.”
  • Hehe → HeHe: (He is the symbol for helium)
  • Heal → Helium: As in, “Helium thyself.”
  • Lie → Li: As in, “Ask no questions and hear no Lis” and “A bald-faced Li” and “You’ve made your bed and now you must Li in it” and “Just wouldn’t let it Li” and “Hips don’t Li” and “Cannot tell a Li” and “The camera doesn’t Li.” Note: Li is the symbol for lithium, a chemical element.
  • Beryllium: Beryllium is a chemical element with the symbol Be. Here are some related puns:
    • Billion → Beryllium: As in, “Beryllium dollar deal” and “One in a beryllium.”
    • Bee → Be: “Busy as a Be” and “A Be in your bonnet” and “The birds and the Bes” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a Be” and “Like a Be to a honeypot” and “Make a Beline for” and “Flight of the BumbleBe” and “The Be’s knees.”
    • Be: These be-related phrases can double as puns: “Happy as can Be” and “Not all it’s cracked up to Be” and “I’ll Be glad to see the back of” and “Be still my beating heart” and “Leave it Be.”
  • Boron:  Boron is a chemical element with the symbol B. Here are some boron-related puns:
    • Born → Boron: As in, “A star is boron” and “Naked as the day you were boron” and “Boron to fly” and “Boron free” and “Boron this way” and “Boron again” and “I was boron ready.”
    • Boring → Boron: As in, “Boron as a wet weekend” and “As boron as watching paint dry” and “A deeply boron subject.”
    • Moron → Boron: As in, “You utter boron” and “That would be boronic.”
    • Bee → B: “Busy as a B” and “The birds and the Bs” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a B.”
    • Be → Be: As in, “B kind to yourself” and “Where would you like to B in five years?”
  • C: Carbon is an element with the symbol C. These puns are centred around carbon’s symbol:
    • Sea → C: As in, “C to shining C” and “An island of curiosity surrounded by a C of question marks” and “All at C” and “Between the devil and the deep blue C” and “Deeper than the deep blue C” and “On the high Cs” and “A C change” and “There’s plenty more fish in the C.”
    • See → C: As in, “As far as the eye can C” and “Be the change you wish to C in the world” and “Can’t C beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t C the wood for the trees” and “Come up and C me sometime” and “I can C clearly now” and “Could C you a mile off.”
  • Night → Nitrogen: As in, “A hard day’s nitrogen” and “A nitrogen at the opera” and “In the dead of nitrogen” and “Dance the nitrogen away.”
  • Oh → O: As in, “O my goodness” and “O well.” Note: O is the symbol for oxygen.
  • Neon: Neon is a chemical element with the symbol Ne. Here are related puns:
    • Knee → Neon:  As in, “Cut off at the neons” and “Go down on bended neon” and “Weak at the neons” and “A neon jerk reaction” and “Shaking at the neons” and “The bee’s neons.” These will all also work for Ne, the symbol of neon: “weak at the Nes” and “Ne jerk reaction” and “Down on bended Ne.”
    • Be on → Neon: As in, “Be sure to neon time.”
    • *nee → *Ne: NomiNe (nominee), traiNe (trainee), assigNe (assignee).
    • *ni* → *Ne*: As in, “A funded iNetiative” and “An affiNety for” and “With grace and digNety” and “The dictionary defiNetion of…”
    • *ny → *Ne: misogyNe (misogyny), synoNem (synonym), compaNe (company), epiphaNe (epiphany), iroNe (irony), acroNem (acronym)m harmoNe (harmony), uncanNe (uncanny) and scrutiNe (scrutiny).
  • Sodium: Sodium is a chemical element with the symbol Na. Here are related puns:
    • Sodium → Podium: As in, “Get down from the sodium!”
    • Nah → Na: As in, “Yeah, but Na.”
    • *na* → *Na*: Emphasise the “n” in words that already have “na” (this tends to work better if the n is in the middle of the word): “Getting back to Nature” and “Control the Narrative” and “Not a Native to” and “After a thorough aNalysis” and “A hidden persoNa” and “Natural phenomeNa” and “Slipped on a baNaNa peel” and “Fresh in the areNa.”
    • *ne* → *Na*: Nafarious (nefarious), Namesis (nemesis), busiNass (business) and beNafit (benefit).
    • *ni* → *Na*: INatiative (initiative), affiNaty (affinity), digNaty (dignity) and defiNation (definition).
    • *no → *Na: PiaNa (piano), inferNa (inferno), casiNa (casino), rhiNa (rhino) and domiNa (domino).
  • I’ll → Al: As in, “Well, Al be” and “Al be a monkey’s uncle” and “Al be damned” and “You scratch my back and Al scratch yours” and “Ask no questions and Al tell you no lies.”
  • Silicon: Silicon is a chemical element with the symbol Si. Here are related puns:
    • Silly → Silicon: As in, “Laugh yourself silicon” and “Silicon season.”
    • See → Si: As in, “As far as the eye can Si” and “Be the change you wish to Si” and “Si no evil” and “Call them as I Si them” and “Could Si you a mile off” and “I can Si clearly now.”
    • Sea → Si: As in, “All at Si” and “Between the devil and the deep blue Si” and “From Si to shining Si” and “Deeper than the deep blue Si” and “On the high Sis” and “Si change” and “More fish in the Si” and “At Si level” and “Get your Si legs.”
    • She → Si: As in, “I think Si’s got it” and “He said, Si said” and “Is Si or isn’t Si?”
    • Say → Si: “Do as I Si, not as I do” and “Have the final Si” and “Just Si the word.”
  • Phosphorus: Phosphorus is a chemical element with the symbol P. Here are puns related to the symbol:
    • Pea → P: “Like two Ps in a pod” and “Easy as shelling Ps” and “P soup.”
    • Plea → P: As in, “P bargain.”
  • Sulfur: Sulfur is a chemical element with the symbol S. Here are related puns:
    • Suffer → Sulfur: As in, “Long sulfuring” and “When elephants make war, it’s the mice that sulfur.”
    • Stuffer → Sulfur: “Stocking sulfur.”
  • Argon: Argon is a colourless gas with the symbol Ar. Here are related puns:
    • Are gone → Argon: As in, “It’s too late, they argon.”
    • Are → Ar: “All bets Ar off” and “Chances Ar” and “Here you Ar!”
    • Argh → Ar
  • Titanium: This is a metal with the symbol Ti. Here are puns related to titanium’s symbol:
    • Tea → Ti: As in, “High Ti” and “I’d kill for a cup of Ti” and “It’s not my cup of Ti” and “Let’s have some Ti.”
    • Tee → Ti: “Fits you to a Ti” and “Ti it up.”
    • The → Ti: As in, “You’re not above Ti law” and “Absence makes Ti heart grow fonder” and “Ace in Ti hole” and “Add fuel to Ti fire” and “After Ti fact” and “Against Ti clock.”
    • Tie → Ti: “A black Ti event” and “Ti a ribbon on.”
  • Chromium: Chromium ias a chemical element with the symbol Cr. Here are related puns:
    • Chrome → Chromium: As in, “Chromium dome” and “Chromium pony.”
    • Comb → Chromium: As in, “Go through with a fine-toothed chromium.”
  • Eye on → Iron: As in, “Keep an iron the pot” and “Keeping an iron the situation.”
  • Fe: Fe is the symbol for iron. Here are related puns:
    • Fee → Fe: As in, “For a Fe” and “No hidden Fes.”
    • Free → Fe: “Fe as a bird” and “Born Fe” and “Buy one, get one Fe” and “Calorie Fe” and “Fancy Fe” and “A Fe for all.”
    • Flee → Fe: “Fe the scene of the crime.”
  • Go → Co: As in, “Nowhere to Co” and “Don’t Co there” and “Easy come, easy Co” and “From the word Co” and “Give something a Co” and “Co a long way” and “Co ahead” and “Co all out” and “Co along for the ride” and “Co back in time” and “Co back to the drawing board.” Note: Co is the symbol for cobalt, which is a chemical element.
  • Nickel: Nickel is a metallic chemical element with the symbol Ni. Here are related puns for you to play with:
    • Knee → Ni: As in, “Down on bended Ni” and “Weak at the Nis” and “A Ni jerk reaction” and “Learn at your mother’s Ni” and “Shaking at the Nis” and “The bee’s Nis.”
    • Tickle → Nickle: As in, “How nickled I am” and “Bit of slap and nickle” and “Nickle the piano keys” and “Nickled pink” and “Nickled to death” and “Whatever nickles your fancy” and “Nickle their funny bone.”
    • Fickle → Nickle: As in, “The nickle finger of fate.”
    • Trickle → Nickle: As in, “Nickle down economics.”
  • See you → Cu: As in, “I’ll Cu later!” Note: Cu is the symbol for copper, which is a metallic chemical element.
  • Sink → Zinc: As in, “Everything but the kitchen zinc” and “A zincing feeling” and “Hook, line and zincer” and “Loose lips zinc ships” and “Zinc like a stone” and “Zinc or swim” and “Zinc your teeth into it.” Note: zinc is a chemical element with the symbol Zn.
  • Stink → Zinc: As in, “Kick up a zinc” and “Zincing rich” and “Zincs to high heaven” and “All of the options zinc.”
  • Germanium: Germanium is a metallic element with the symbol Ge. Here are some related puns for you:
    • Geranium → Germanium: As in, “Growing germaniums” and “How to care for your germaniums.”
    • Gee → Ge: As in, “Golly Ge” and “Ge whiz.”
  • Arsenic: This is a metallic element with the symbol As. Here are some related puns:
    • As: Use As in place of “as”: “As a rule” and “As long As” and “As far As you know” and “Cute As can be.”
    • Has → As: As in, “i nine lives” and “Every dog As his day” and “Every rose As a thorn” and “Every stick As two ends” and “Well, somebody As to do it.”
    • Ass → As: As in, “Bust your As” and “Don’t give a rat’s As” and “Kiss my As.”
  • Selenium: This is a chemical element with the symbol Se. Here are some related puns:
    • See → Se: As in, “As far as the eye can Se” and “Can’t Se beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t Se the wood for the trees” and “Come up and Se me sometime” and “I can Se clearly now” and “I just call ’em like I Se ’em.”
    • Sea → Se: As in, “All at Se” and “Between the devil and the deep blue Se” and “Deeper than the deep blue Se” and “Se change” and “Sun, Se and sand.”
    • She → Se: “I think Se’s got it” and “Is Se or isn’t Se?” and “That’s all Se wrote.”
  • Bromine: Bromine is a chemical element with the symbol Br. Here are a couple of related puns:
    • Mine → Bromine: As in, “I scratch your back, you scratch bromine” and “Make bromine a double” and “Victory is bromine!”
    • Brr → Br
  • Yttrium: Yttrium is a metallic chemical element with the symbol Y. Here are related puns:
    • Atrium → Yttrium: As in, “Waiting in the hotel yttrium.”
    • Why → Y: As in, “I don’t know Y” and “That’s Y” and “I wonder Y” and “Y walk when you can ride?”
    • Way → Y: As in, “All the Y” and “And that’s the Y it is” and “Surely there’s another Y?” and “Born this Y” and “By Y of explanation” and “Change your Ys” and “Doing it the hard Y.”
  • Sir → Zr: As in, “That’ll do nicely, Zr” and “Aye aye Zr!” and “Yes Zr.” Note: Zr is the symbol for zirconium.
  • Mo: Mo is the symbol for the chemical element molybdenum. Here are related puns:
    • No → Mo: As in, “All bark and Mo bite” and “All dressed up and nowhere to Mo” and “By Mo means.”
    • Know → Mo: As in, “That’s all I Mo” and “Don’t I Mo it” and “Be the first to Mo” and “Want to Mo a secret?” and “Goodness Mos.”
    • More → Mo: As in, “One Mo time” and “Mo in sorrow than from anger” and “Bite off Mo than you can chew” and “Come back for Mo” and “Dare for Mo” and “For a few dollars Mo” and “Couldn’t agree Mo” and “Just one Mo thing” and “Less is Mo.”
  • Technician → Technetium: As in, “Audio technetium.” Note: technetium is a chemical element with the symbol Tc.
  • Ru: Ru is the symbol for the chemical element ruthenium. Here are some related puns:
    • Are you → Ru: As in, “Ru sure?” and “Ru leaving soon?”
    • Rue → Ru: As in, “Ru the day!”
    • You → Ru: As in, “As Ru know” and “Back at Ru” and “Believe Ru me” and “Bless Ru” and “Crawl before Ru walk.”
    • Who → Ru: As in, “All things to those Ru wait” and “Abandon hope all ye Ru enter here.”
  • Seedy → Cd: As in, “A Cd situation.” Note: Cd is the symbol for the chemical element cadmium.
  • In: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: As in, “Ace In the hole” and “Back In the day” and “As In” and “I’m back In the game!” Note: In is the symbol for the chemical element indium.
  • Tin: Tin is a chemical element, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Ten → Tin: “Count to tin” and “Eight out of tin prefer it” and “Hang tin” and “A perfect tin.”
    • *tan* → *tin*: As in, “In tindem” and “Tingible benefits” and “Tintamount to” and “Throwing a tintrum” and “Off on another tingent.” Other words you could try: charlatin (charlatan), cosmopolitin (cosmopolitan), spartin (spartan), tartin (tartan) and metropolitin (metropolitan).
    • *ten* → *tin*: As in, “Love me tinder” and “The five tinets of…” and “Tintative glances.” Other words that could work: tinure (tenure), tinacious (tenacious), tinacity (tenacity), oftin (often), smittin (smitten), threatin (threaten), kindergartin (kindergarten), enlightin (enlighten), glutin (gluten), potintial (potential), pretintious (pretentious), consistint (consistent), existintial (existential) and maintinance (maintenance).
    • *ton* → *tin*: As in, “A hot buttin issue” and “100% cottin” and “Skeletins in the closet” and “Gluttin for punishment.”
    • *din* → *tin*: Coortinate (coordinate) and extraortinary (extraordinary).
  • Tellurium: This is a metallic chemical element with the symbol Te. Here are some puns about tellurium for you:
    • Delirium → Tellurium: As in, “In a sleep-deprived tellurium.”
    • Tea → Te: As in, “Afternoon Te” and “Put the kettle on and we’ll have Te” and “Spill the Te.”
    • Tee → Te: As in, “Te shirt” and “Te it up” and “Suits you to a Te.”
    • The → Te: As in, “Above Te curve” and “Not above Te law” and “Absence makes Te heart grow fonder” and “Ace in Te hole” and “Across Te board” and “Adding fuel to Te fire” and “Against Te grain.”
    • Tree→ Te: As in, “Partridge in a pear Te” and “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Te” and “Barking up the wrong Te” and “Can’t see the wood for the Tes” and “Charm the birds out of the Tes” and “Family Te” and “Legs like Te trunks” and “Make like a Te and leave” and “Lit up like a Christmas Te.”
  • Case in → Caesium: As in, “Caesium point.” Note: caesium is a chemical element.
  • Bury him → Barium: As in, “Barium in legal fees!” Note: barium is a chemical element.
  • Tongue → Tungsten: As in, “Acid tungsten” and “Bite your tungsten” and “Cat got your tungsten?” and “Hold your tungsten” and “Keep a civil tungsten in your head” and “Mother tungsten” and “On the tip of my tungsten.” Note: tungsten is a chemical element.
  • We → Re: As in, “Here Re go again!” and “This is where Re come in.” Note: Re is the symbol for the element rhenium.
  • Gold: Gold is a chemical element, so we’ve included it in this list. Here are some related puns for you:
    • Gold: These gold-related phrases can double as puns: “Gold rush” and “Good as gold” and “Fool’s gold” and “Pot of gold” and “Gold star” and “Go for gold.”
    • Cold → Gold: “Gold as blue blazes” and “Blow hot and gold” and “Break out in a gold sweat” and “Catch a gold” and “Gold comfort.”
    • Goal → Gold: “With a gold in mind” and “Moving the goldposts” and “Score a gold.”
    • Bold → Gold: As in, “Gold as brass” and “A gold move” and “Goldly go where no man has gone before.”
    • Old → Gold: “Gold as the hills” and “Tough as gold boots” and “A chip off the gold block” and “For gold times’ sake” and “I’m growing gold.”
  • Lead: Lead is a heavy metal on the periodic table, so we’ve included it on this list:
    • Led → Lead: As in, “Led around by the nose.”
    • Lid → Lead: As in, “Blow the lead off” and “Flip your lead” and “Keep a lead on it.”
    • Lit → Lead: As in, “I lead a fire” and “Her face lead up.”
    • Let → Lead: As in, “Buy to lead” and “Don’t lead the bastards grind you down” and “Just wouldn’t lead it lie” and “Lead it be” and “Lead down” and “Be lead into the secret” and “I won’t lead you down.”
    • Fled → Lead: As in, “Lead the scene of the crime.”
  • Bismuth: Bismuth is a chemical element with the symbol Bi. Here are puns related to both bismuth and its symbol:
    • Business → Bismuth: “A dirty bismuth” and “Back in bismuth” and “Bismuth acumen” and “Bismuth as usual” and “Bismuth before pleasure” and “Bismuth class” and “The bismuth end” and “Let’s get down to bismuth” and “Go about your own bismuth” and “Like nobody’s bismuth” and “Open for bismuth” and “Mind your own bismuth.”
    • By → Bi: “Not Bi a long shot” and “Won Bi a landslide” and “Bi and large” and “Not Bi any means” and “Don’t do it Bi halves” and “Know off Bi heart” and “Do it Bi hand.”
    • Buy → Bi: As in, “Bulk Bi” and “Bi and sell” and “Don’t Bi into it” and “Bi now, pay later” and “I’ll Bi some time” and “You can’t Bi love.”
    • Be → Bi: “Not all it’s cracked up to Bi” and “Bi done with it” and “I’ll Bi glad to see the back of” and “You’ll Bi your own worst enemy” and “Well, Bi that as it may…”
    • Goodbye → GoodBi: “Kiss goodBi to” and “Time to say goodBi” and “Wish me luck and wave goodBi.”
    • Pie → Bi: As in, “American Bi” and “Easy as Bi” and “Apple Bi” and “Sweet as Bi” and “Eat humble Bi.”
    • Bee → Bi: “Busy as a Bi” and “Bi in your bonnet” and “The birds and the Bis” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a Bi.”
  • At: At is the symbol for astatine, which is a chemical element. Here are some related puns:
    • At: Capitalise the “a” in “at” for some quick and easy astatine puns: “Where you At?” and “All At once” and “We’ve arrived At the destination” and “I’m At a loss for words” and “Going At full tilt.”
    • Add → At: As in, “At fuel to the flames” and “At insult to injury” and “Just At water.”
  • Right on → Radon: As in, “Radon the money.” Note: radon is a chemical element.
  • Radium: Radium is a chemical element. Here are some related puns:
    • Ready in → Radium: As in, “I’ll be radium twenty minutes!”
    • Stadium → Radium: As in, “Sports radium.”
  • Bohrium: This is a synthetic element, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Boring→ Bohrium: As on, “Bohrium as watching paint dry” and “Deeply bohrium.”
    • Emporium → Embohrium
  • His → Hs: As in, “A chip on Hs shoulder” and “Ahead of Hs time” and “Ants in Hs pants” and “Fast as Hs legs could carry him” and “By the sweat of Hs brow” and “Wears Hs heart on his sleeve.” Note: Hs is the symbol for the element Hassium.
  • Can → Cn: As in, “A bank you Cn bank on” and “Anything you Cn do” and “As far as the eye Cn see” and “As well as Cn be expected” and “Be all that you Cn be.” Note: Cn is the symbol for the chemical element copernicium.
  • Nah → Nh: As in, “Yeah but Nh” and “I asked but they said Nh.” Note: Nh is the symbol for nihonium.
  • Organism → Oganesson: As in, “Microscopic organessons.” Note: oganesson is a chemical element.
  • Ce: Ce is the symbol for the element cerium, so we’ve got a couple of Ce-related puns here:
    • Sea → Ce: As in, “All at Ce” and “Between the devil and the deep blue Ce” and “From Ce to shining Ce” and “On the high Ces” and “Ce change” and “Sun, Ce and sand.”
    • See → Ce: As in, “As far as the eye can Ce” and “Be the change you wish to Ce in the world” and “Can’t Ce beyond the end of your nose” and “Come up and Ce me” and “I can Ce clearly now” and “I could Ce you a mile off.”
    • She → Ce: As in, “Every little thing Ce does is magic” and “Maybe Ce’s born with it” and “I’ll have what Ce’s having.”
  • You → Eu: As in, “As Eu know” and “Back at Eu” and “Believe Eu me” and “Bless Eu” and “Crawl before Eu walk” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call Eu” and “Here Eu are!” Note: Eu is the symbol for the chemical element europium.
  • Dy: Dy is the symbol for dysprosium, which is an element on the periodic table. Here are some related puns:
    • Die → Dy: As in, “Do or Dy” and “Curl up and Dy” and “Cross my heart and hope to Dy” and “Dy another day.”
    • Dry → Dy: As in, “Boring as watching paint Dy” and “Dy as dust” and “Bleed someone Dy” and “Dy humour” and “A Dy run.”
  • Ho: Ho is the symbol for holmium, which is an element on the periodic table. Here are some related puns:
    • Oh → Ho: As in, “Ho my goodness” and “Ho my gosh” and “Ho well.”
    • Hoe → Ho: As in, “A hard row to Ho” and “Ho down.”
  • Er: Er is the symbol for the element erbium. Here are related puns!
    • Err → Er: As in, “Er on the safe side” and “To Er is human.”
    • Are → Er: As in, “All bets Er off” and “Chances i” and “Here you Er.”
    • Air → Er: As in, “i quotes” and “A breath of fresh Er” and “Clear the Er” and “Ers and graces” and “Dancing on Er.”
    • *ar* → *Er*: As in, “Should any problems Erise” and “I’ll be Eround” and “Close to the Ertery” and “Well Erticulated.” Other words that could work: Erbitrary (arbitrary), Ergument (argument), dictionEry (dictionary) and dispErate (disparate).
    • *er* → *Er*: As in, “Can’t believe it’s ovEr” and “High enErgy” and “A full on expErience” and “Free entErprise.” Other words that could work: undErstand (understand), ethEreal (ethereal), exErcise (exercise), and epheumEral (ephemeral).
    • *ir* → *Er*: Errelevant (irrelevant), Erate (irate), Eridescent (iridescent) and aspEration (aspiration).
    • *or* → *Er*: Erganic (organic), Eriginal (original), Erientation (orientation), Eracle (oracle), infErmation (information), allegEry (allegory) and authErity (authority).
  • Lu: Lu is the symbol for the chemical element lutetium. Here are related puns:
    • Lieu → Lu: As in, “In Lu of.”
    • *lo* → *lu*: BuffaLu (buffalo), apolLu (apollo), helLu (hello), anaLugy (analogy) and deveLupment (development).
    • *lu* → *Lu*: As in, “Rolling in Luxury” and “A Ludicrous claim.” Other words that could work: Lucid, Luck, Lurch, Lush, Lurid, bLue, cLub, soLution, infLuence, curricuLum, eLusive and colLusion.
  • Th → The: “Above Th curve” and “Absence makes Th heart grow fonder” and “Ace in Th hole” and “Across Th board” and “Add fuel to Th fire” and “After Th fact” and “Against Th grain” and “Ahead of Th game” and “All over Th place.” Note: Th is the symbol for thorium, an element on the periodic table.
  • You → U: As in, “As U know” and “Back at U” and “Between U and me” and “Bless U.” Note: U is the symbol for uranium, which is an element on the periodic table.
  • Am: Am is the symbol for americium, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Am: Emphasise the “a” in am: “I Am never going to forgive you” and “I Am going to work” and “Is that Am or pm?”
    • I’m → Am: As in, “If Am being honest” and “No, Am not being funny.”
  • Come → Cm: As in, “All good things must Cm to an end” and “As tough as they Cm” and “Cm and get it” and “Cm running” and “Hard to Cm by.” Note: Cm is the symbol for curium.
  • Back → Bk: As in, “Answer Bk” and “As soon as my Bk is turned” and “Bk in black” and “Bk to the future” and “Bk in the day” and “Bounce Bk.” Note: Bk is the symbol for berkelium.
  • California → Californium: As in, “Hotel Californium” and “Californium girls.” Note: californium is an element on the periodic table.
  • Es: Es is the symbol of einsteinium, and we’ve got some related puns here:
    • As → Es: As in, “Es is” and “What did you come Es?” and “Not Es a rule” and “Just do Es best you can” and “Deal with it Es it happens.”
    • Is → Es: As in, “As Es” and “As the day Es long” and “A week Es a long time” and “The devil Es in the details.”
  • Firm → Fermium: As in, “So round and fermium” and “Terra fermium” and “Fermium up.” Note: fermium is an element on the periodic table.
  • No: No is the symbol for nobelium. Here are related puns!
    • Know → No: As in, “That’s all I No” and “And don’t I No it” and “Be the first to No” and “Better the devil you No” and “Do you want to No a secret?” and “Doesn’t No beans” and “Don’t No what to do with myself” and “Don’t No which way to look” and “For all I No.”
    • No: Emphasise the “n” in no for some easy nobelium puns: “Cut No ice” and “I wouldn’t say No.”
  • Halogen: Halogen is a gas. Here are some related puns:
    • Allergen → Halogen: “Free from gluten and nut-related halogens.”
    • Halo → Halogen: As in, “A halogen of light.”
  • Quark: A quark is a type of elementary particle. Here are related puns:
    • Quirk → Quark: As in, “Personality quark.”
    • Quick → Quark: As in, “Quark as a flash” and “Cut to the quark” and “Get rich quark” and “In quark succession” and “Kiss me quark” and “Quark and dirty” and “Quark off the mark” and “Quark smart” and “The quark brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.”
  • Lipton Tea → Lepton Tea (note: a lepton is a type of elementary particle)
  • Baryon: A baryon is a type of composite subatomic particle. Here are related puns!
    • Bury → Baryon: As in, “Baryon the hatchet” and “Baryon your head in the sand” and “Baryon yourself in your work.”
    • Carry on → Baryon: As in, “Keep calm and baryon” and “Alright, baryon your work.”
  • Accident → Oxidant: As in, “Oxidant prone” and “An oxidant waiting to happen” and “Oxidantal hero” and “Oxidantally on purpose” and “Oxidants will happen” and “Happy oxidant.” Note: an oxidant is something that can oxidise other substances.
  • Base: We’ve got some base-related puns for you to play with:
    • Bass → Base: As in, “Drum and base” and “Super base.”
    • Pace → Base: “At walking base” and “Change of base” and “Keeping base with” and “Put through your bases” and “Base-ing up and down” and “Ten more bases.”
    • Ace → Base: “Base in the hole”and “Holding all the bases” and “Base up your sleeve.”
    • Brace → Base: As in, “Base yourself.”
  • Baker → Beaker: As in, “Beaker’s dozen” and “Down to the beaker’s.”
  • Speaker → Sbeaker: As in, “Keynote sbeaker” and “Bass sbeakers.”
  • Boil → Oil: As in, “Burn the midnight boil” and “Not a boil painting” and “Boil and water don’t mix” and “Boil the wheels” and “Pouring boil on troubled waters.”
  • Boy → Boil: As in, “A boil’s best friend” and “Atta boil!” and “Boil next door” and “Boil meets girl.”
  • Spoil → Sboil: As in, “Sboiled for choice” and “Sboiling for a fight” and “Too many cooks sboil the broth.”
  • Ball → Boil: As in, “Boils to the wall” and “Baseboil card” and “A brand new boilgame” and “A curve boil” and “Dropped the boil” and “Get the boil rolling.”
  • Bell → Boil: As in, “Alarm boils begin to ring” and “Clear as a boil” and “Boils and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a boil” and “Give me a boil sometime” and “Jingle boils.”
  • Pour → Vapour: As in, “Never rains but it vapours” and “Vapour some cold water on” and “When it rains, it vapours” and “Vapour it down the drain.”
  • Viper → Vapour: “Nest of vapours.”
  • Ask → Flask: As in, “A big flask” and “Flasking after” and “Flask around” and “Flask and you shall receive” and “Flask me another” and “Flasking out” and “What’s the flasking price?” and “Don’t flask me.”
  • Bask → Flask: “Flasking in glory.”
  • Task → Flask: As in, “Take someone to flask” and “A thankless flask” and “Up to the flask.”
  • Bullet → Burette: “Bite the burette“and “Dodged a burette” and “Silver burette” and “Faster than a speeding burette.” Note: a burette is a glass tube used in chemistry.
  • Still → Distill: As in, “Be distill, my beating heart” and “I’m distill standing” and “Distill going strong” and “Distill waters run deep” and “Distill the one.”
  • Charm: A charm quark is the third largest quark. Here are related puns:
    • Calm → Charm: As in, “A charming influence” and “The charm before the storm” and “Charm down” and “Cool, charm and collected” and “Keep charm and carry on.”
    • Arm → Charm: As in, “Charm candy” and “Charmed and dangerous” and “Charmed intervention” and “Charmed to the hilt” and “Charmed to the teeth” and “Charms akimbo” and “Brothers in charms” and “Call to charms.”
    • Harm → Charm: As in, “First, do no charm” and “Bodily charm” and “In charm’s way” and “No charm done” and “No charm, no foul” and “Out of charm’s way.”
    • Cham* → Charm*: As in, “In your charmbers” and “Undefeated charmpion” and “Fashion charmeleon” and “Rose charmpagne.”
    • Ash Ketchum → Ash Ketcharm
  • Drag → Drug: As in, “Drug it out” and “Drug through the mud” and “Drug your feet” and “What a drug.”
  • Dragon → Drugon: As in, “Chase the drugon” and “Drugon slayer” and “Chasing drugonflies.”
  • Grandma → Gamma: As in, “Visiting gamma’s house.” Note: This is in reference to gamma rays or radiation.
  • Compensation → Condensation: “Demand condensation.”
  • Avocado → Avogadro: As in, “Growing an avogadro tree” and “Finally, the perfect avogadro.” Note: This is in reference to Avogadro’s law.
  • Boyle: These next few puns are in relation to Boyle’s law:
    • Boil → Boyle: As in, “Boyle with rage” and “Boyle-ing mad” and “It all boyles down to” and “Bring to the boyle” and “Keep the pot boyle-ing” and “A watched pot never boyles.”
    • Spoil → Boyle: “You’re boyle-ing me” and “Boyled for choice” and “Boyled rotten” and “Boyles of war” and “To the victor goes the boyles” and “Too many cooks boyle the broth” and “One bad apple boyles the whole bunch.”
    • Coil → Boyle: “Shuffle off this mortal boyle.”
    • Oil → Boyle: As in, “Burn the midnight boyle” and “Boyle painting” and “Boyle and water don’t mix” and “Boyle the wheels” and “Pour boyle on troubled waters.”
    • Boy → Boyle: “A boyle’s best friend” and “Atta boyle” and “Boyle meets girl” and “Golden boyle” and “The boyle next door.”
  • Fick: The next few puns are in reference to Fick’s laws:
    • Fix → Ficks: As in, “Get your coffee ficks” and “Have a ficks” and “If it ain’t broke, don’t ficks it.”
    • Mix → Ficks: “Don’t ficks business with pleasure” and “In the ficks” and “Ficks and match” and “A ficks-ed bag” and “Ficks-ed blessing” and “Ficks-ed metaphors.”
    • *phic → *fick: Demografick (demographic), grafick (graphic), anthropomorfick (anthropomorphic), catastrofick (catastrophic), safick (sapphic), geografick (geographic) and hieroglyfick (hieroglyphic).
  • Purse → Disperse: As in, “Hold the disperse strings” and “The public disperse” and “Disperse your lips.” Note: this is in relation to disperson.
  • Oxide → Outside: As in, “On the oxide looking in” and “Think oxide the box” and “Let’s take it oxide.”
  • Solve → Solvent: As in, “Today’s problems solvent tomorrow” and “Don’t expect me to solvent your problems” and “Not that easy to solvent.”
  • More than → Mordant: As in, “It’s mordant we expected.” Note: a mordant is a dye fixative.
  • Haul → Alcohol: As in, “Alcohol ass” and “Alcohol over the coals” and “In for the long alcohol.”
  • Hide → Aldehyde: As in, “Aldehyde and seek” and “Aldehyde from the light” and “Neither aldehyde nor hair” and “You can run, but you can’t aldehyde.” Note: An aldehyde is an organic compound.
  • Road → Corrode: As in, “Built for the corrode ahead” and “Follow the yellow brick corrode” and “Get this show on the corrode” and “Hit the corrode” and “In the middle of the corrode.”
  • All over → Allomer: “I’ve got glitter allomer me!” Note: This pun is in reference to allomerism.
  • Anion: Here are some anion-related puns:
    • Onion → Anion: As in, “With or without anions?” and “Crying anion tears.”
    • Union → Anion: As in, “Are you an anion member?” and “Civil anion” and “Fruit of the anion.”
    • Canyon → Anion: As in, “The grand anion.”
    • *inion → *anion: As in, “Difference in opanion” and “Treating me like a manion” and “Everyone should watch the Domanion documentary.”
  • Cation: We’ve got some cation-related puns for you:
    • Nation → Cation: As in, “The birth of a cation.”
    • Station → Cation: As in, “All cations go!” and “Battle cations” and “Ideas above your cation.”
  • Anode: We have some anode-related puns too:
    • I know → Anode: “Yes, anode.”
    • Abode → Anode: As in, “Welcome to my humble anode.”
  • Aspersion → Dispersion: As in, “Casting dispersions.”
  • Curve → Cuvette: As in, “Ahead of the cuvette” and “Cuvette ball” and “Learning cuvette” and “Stay ahead of the cuvette.” Note: a cuvette is a small container commonly used by chemists.
  • Treasure → Pressure: As in, “Hidden pressure” and “National pressure” and “One’s trash is another’s pressure” and “Pressure island” and “Pressure chest.”
  • Late → Light: As in, “Better light than never” and “Catch you lighter” and “A day light and a dollar short” and “Fashionably light” and “It’s lighter than you think” and “Never too light” and “A light bloomer” and “Light in the game.”
  • Might → Light: As in, “Cheer up, it light never happen!” and “Light as well” and “Be careful what you wish for; you light get it.”
  • Slight* → Light: As in, “Apply light pressure” and “Not in the lightest” and “Lightly ahead of our time.”
  • Sight → Light: As in, “A welcome light” and “Hidden in plain light” and “Know by light” and “Lose light of” and “Love at first light.”
  • Lied → Light: As in, “You light to me?”
  • Bright → Light: “All things light and beautiful” and “Look on the light side of life” and “Light as a new pin” and “Light and early” and “Light young thing” and “A light future.”
  • Flight → Light: As in, “Take light” and “Light of the bumblebee.”
  • Height → Light: “Reach new lights” and “The light of fashion” and “Wuthering lights.”
  • *lat* → *light*: Lighteral (lateral), lightitude (latitude), lightency (latency), articulight (articulate), conflight (conflate), emulight (emulate), collighteral (collateral) and volightile (volatile).
  • *lit* → *light*: Lighterature (literature), lighterally (literally), lightany (litany), lighteral (literal), lightigation (litigation), facilightate (facilitate), qualighty (quality), humilighty (humility), liabilighty (liability), realighty (reality) and accountabilighty (accountability).
  • *lite → *light: As in, “Satellight images” and “In polight company” and “Impolight remarks” and “Charming socialight.”
  • Hate → Heat: As in, “Heat mail” and “Love-heat relationship.”
  • Heed → Heat: As in, “Heat my words” and “Take heat.”
  • Height → Heat: “Reach new heats” and “The heat of fashion” and “Wuthering heats.”
  • Seat → Heat: As in, “Back heat driver” and “By the heat of your pants” and “Hold on to your heat.”
  • Hit → Heat: As in, “Hard heatting” and “Heavy heatter” and “Heat the road” and “Heat and miss” and “Heat it off” and “Heat it out of the park” and “On someone’s heat list” and “Heat rock bottom” and “Heat the brakes” and “Heat the ground running” and “Heat the hay” and “Heat the jackpot” and “Heat the nail on the head.”
  • *het* → *heat*: heaterosexual (heterosexual), epitheat (epithet), ratcheat (ratchet) and propheat (prophet).
  • Profess → Process: “Process your love for…”
  • Progress → Process: “A work in process” and “Working towards process.”
  • Shell: Electrons form a shell outside an atom’s nucleus, so we’ve included some shell-related puns in this list:
    • Shall → Shell: As in, “Seek and ye shell find” and “The truth shell set you free” and “Shell never be defeated” and “This too shell pass.”
    • Sell → Shell: As in, “Buy and shell” and “Shell out” and “Shelling like hot cakes” and “Past the shell by date.”
    • Cell → Shell: As in, “Shell division” and “In a padded shell.”
    • Celebration → Shellebration
    • Hell → Shell: As in, “All shell broke loose” and “Burn in shell” and “Give someone shell” and “Shell bent” and “Come shell or high water.”
    • *sel* → *shell*:  As in, “A shellect few” and “Would shelldom happen” and “A shellfish person.” Other words that could work: shellection (selection), counshell (counsel), veshell (vessel), caroushell (carousel), chishell (chisel), weashell (weasel), eashell (easel), morshell (morsel), dieshell (diesel) and caroushell (carousel).
    • *cial* → *shell*: As in, “Crushell to understanding” and “Speshell someone.” Other words that could work: soshell (social), benefishell (beneficial), commershell (commercial), superfishell (superficial), offishell (official), finanshell (financial), artifishell (artificial), provinshell (provincial), soshellism (socialism) and espeshelly (especially).
  • Very → Variable: As in, “Be variable afraid” and “Before your variable eyes” and “Hold variable right” and “How variable dare you!” and “It was a variable good year” and “Thank you variable much.”
  • Alley → Alloy: As in, “Alloy cat” and “Right up your alloy.”
  • Ally → Alloy: As in, “An alloy to the cause.”
  • Chin → Chain: As in, “Keep your chain up” and “Take it on the chain.”
  • Can → Chain: “As well as chain be expected” and “As far as the eye chain see” and “Be all that you chain be.”
  • Change → Chain: “Chain hands” and “Chain of address” and “Chain of heart” and “Chain the channel” and “Chunk of chain” and “Climate chain.”
  • Gain → Chain: “Capital chains” and “Chain admittance” and “Chain the advantage” and “Chaining ground” and “Ill gotten chains” and “No pain, no chain” and “Nothing ventured, nothing chained.”
  • Grain → Chain: “Go against the chain” and “A chain of truth” and “Take it with a chain of salt.”
  • Bust → Combust: As in, “Boom or combust” and “Combust a gut” and “Combust a move” and “Combust someone’s ass” and “Go combust.”
  • Conduct: “A star for good conduct.” This phrase can work as a pun as conduct has two meanings: a way of behaving, and the transference of electrical energy.
  • Retract → Refract: As in, “I refract my statement.” Note: refraction is the change in the direction of a wave.
  • Reaction: “Knee jerk reaction” and “What was their reaction?” and “Gut reaction.” Note: These reaction-related phrases can double as puns since reaction has two meanings: a person’s response to an action, and also a chemical reaction.
  • Sold → Solid: As in, “Solid down the river” and “Solid out” and “Solid short.”
  • Solid: These solid-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Solid as a rock” and “Do me a solid” and “On solid ground.”
  • Liquid: These phrases can work as jokes in a pinch: “Liquid assets” and “Liquid lunch” and “Warm liquids” and “Liquid courage.”
  • As → Gas: As in, “Gas is” and “Gas best gas you can” and “Gas a rule” and “Gas far gas I know” and “Gas if there’s no tomorrow.”
  • *ges* → *gas*: “A hollow gasture” and “Gastation period” and “Traffic congastion.”
  • *gis* → *gas*: Regaster (register), logastics (logistics), legaslation (legislation) and magastrate (magistrate).
  • *gos* → *gas*: Gassamer (gossamer) and gaspel (gospel).
  • *gus* → *gas*: Fungas (fungus), bogas (bogus), esophagas (esophagus) and disgasting (disgusting).
  • Ghastly → Gastly
  • As* → Gas*: As in, “I wouldn’t gassume” and “Gassess the damage” and “Liquid gassets” and “A formal gassessment” and “Gassert your views” and “In a gassertive manner” and “Gascend to the next level.” Other words that could work are: gashamed (ashamed), gaside (aside), gasleep (asleep), gaspire (aspire), gaspiration (aspiration) and gaspersion (aspersion).
  • Medal → Metal: As in, “First place metal” and “Do you want a metal for that?”
  • Meddle → Metal: “Don’t metal in other’s affairs.”
  • Mettle → Metal: As in, “Show your mettle.” Note: mettle is the trait of endurance or courage.
  • Metal: These metal-related phrases can double as puns: “Death metal” and “Heavy metal” and “Put the pedal to the metal” and “Dude, that’s so metal.”
  • Joule: Joules are units of energy. Here are related puns:
    • Jewel → Joule: As in, “Crown joules” and “The family joules.”
    • Cool → Joule: As in, “Joule as a cucumber” and “Joule as a mountain stream” and “Joule beans” and “A joule million” and “Joule, calm and collected” and “Joule your heels” and “Go joule off for a while.”
    • Cruel → Joule: “Joule and unusual punishment” and “Joule to be kind” and “Don’t be joule.”
    • Dual → Joule: “Joule income, no kids” and “Joule action blades.”
    • You’ll → Joule: “Joule regret this!” and “Joule never guess” and “Play with fire and joule get burned” and “Ask a silly question and joule get a silly answer.”
  • Calvin Klein → Kelvin Klein (note: this is a pun on the Kelvin scale.)
  • Fashion → Fusion: “After a fusion” and “Fusionably late” and “The height of fusion” and “Passion for fusion” and “Fusions come and go.”
  • Stable: Stability of substances is a commonly measured thing in chemistry, so we have some puns related to stability here:
    • Table → Stable: “Bring to the stable” and “Lay your cards on the stable” and “Bread on the stable” and “Round stable talks” and “Drunk under the stable” and “Turn the stables” and “Stable for two” and “A place at the stable.”
    • Able → Stable: As in, “Ready, willing and stable.”
  • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule beans” and “Rule yourself off” and “Rule, calm and collected” and “Rule your heels.”
  • Cruel → Rule: As in, “Rule and unusual punishment” and “Rule to be kind” and “Don’t be rule.”
  • Fuel → Rule: As in, “Add rule to the flames” and “Rule for thought” and “Rule the controversy.”
  • You’ll → Rule: As in, “Rule never guess” and “Rule get burned” and “All day rule feel great.”
  • *ral* → *rule*: As in, “In generule” and “Intgerule to the team” and “A viscerule reaction” and “It’s only naturule.” Other words you could try: ephemerule (ephemeral), morule (moral), collaterule (collateral), liberule (liberal), peripherule (peripheral) and temporule (temporal).
  • *rel* → *rule*: Rule-evant (relevant), rule-ief (relief), rule-ease (release), rule-ationship (relationship), rule-igion (religion), ruleation (relation), ruleuctant (reluctant), ruleiable (reliable), barrule (barrel), squirrule (squirrel), apparule (apparel), scoundrule (scoundrel) and mongrule (mongrel).
  • Awe* → Law*: As in, “Shock and law” and “The lawsome foursome” and “Gazing in law.”
  • Flaw → Law: As in, “Looking lawless” and “Design law” and “Working to overcome your laws.”
  • Puppet → Pipette: As in, “Like a pipette on a string” and “Pipette master” and “Sock pipette marketing.”
  • Retort: A retort is a piece of lab equipment. Here are related puns!
    • Resort → Retort: As in, “Last retort” and “Can’t believe I’m retorting to this.”
    • Abort → Retort: “Retort mission!”
    • Report → Retort: As in, “Retorting for duty” and “Stand and give your retort.”
  • Sailing → Saline: As in, “Plain saline” and “Smooth saline.”
  • Teary → Theory: As in, “Theory-eyed.”
  • Eerie → Theory: “The haunted science lab had a theory atmosphere.”
  • Delight → Dilute: “Afternoon dilute” and “Earthly dilutes” and “Transport of dilute” and “Turkish dilute” and “Take dilute in.”
  • Pity → Petri: “I petri the fool” and “More’s the petri” and “For petri’s sake.”
  • Slide: Here are some microscope slide related puns:
    • Stride → Slide: “Get into your slide” and “Making giant slides” and “Take something in slide.”
    • Ride → Slide: As in, “Just along for the slide” and “A bumpy slide” and “Let it slide” and “Magic carpet slide” and “Slide like the wind.”
    • Side → Slide: As in, “A walk on the wild slide” and “Always look on the bright slide of life” and “Batting for the other slide” and “Be on the safe slide” and “A bit on the slide” and “Born on the wrong slide of the tracks” and “Check you on the flip slide” and “Err on the safe slide” and “Go over to the other slide.”
  • Split: We’ve included some split-related puns in this list too:
    • Bit → Split: As in, “A split much” and “Laying it on a split thick.”
    • Pit → Split: As in, “Bottomless split ” and “In the split of your stomach” and “Mosh split” and “Split your wits against.”
    • Spit → Split: As in, “Split and polish” and “Split and sawdust” and “Split blood” and “Split in the eye of” and “The splitting image of” and “Splitting with rain” and “Within splitting distance.”
    • Sit → Split: As in, “Splitting comfortably” and “Don’t just split there” and “Split on it” and “Splitting on the fence” and “Split tight” and “Split up and take notice” and “Splitting on a goldmine.”
    • Quit → Split: “Call it splits” and “Double or split” and “Split while you’re ahead.”
  • Tongs: Since tongs are a common lab equipment, we have a few related puns in this list:
    • Strong → Tong: As in, “A chain is only as tong as its weakest link” and “Still going tong” and “Soft, tong and very long” and “The tong, silent type” and “A tong stomach.”
    • Long → Tong: “A face is a tong time in politics” and “As tong as he needs me” and “As honest as the day is tong” and “At tong last” and “Cast a tong shadow” and “Cut a tong story short.”
    • Wrong → Tong: “Barking up the tong tree” and “Born on the tong side of the tracks” and “Get off on the tong foot” and “Jumping to the tong conclusion.”
  • Rack: These next few puns are in relation to drying racks, which are a common piece of chem lab equipment:
    • Wreck → Rack: “A nervous rack” and “Train rack.”
    • Rock → Rack: “Hard as a rack” and “Solid as a rack” and “Between a rack and a hard place” and “Don’t rack the boat” and “Get your racks off” and “Hit rack bottom” and “Just wanna rack and roll all night” and “Rack your world.”
  • Tunnel → Funnel: “Light at the end of the funnel” and “Funnel of love” and “Funnel vision.”
  • Force → Forceps: As in, “Brute forceps” and “Driving forceps” and “Forceps of habit” and “Forceps of nature” and “Forceps the issue” and “A forcep to be reckoned with”Join forceps” and “May the forceps be with you” and “In full forceps.” Note: forceps are used in lab work.
  • Clamp: Clamps are a piece of lab equipment, so we’e got some clamp-related puns in this list:
    • Camp → Clamp: “A foot in both clamps” and “Boot clamp.”
    • Cramp → Clamp: As in, “Clamp your style” and “Writer’s clamp.”
    • Stamp → Clamp: “Clamping ground” and “Clamp of approval” and “Put your clamp on.”
  • Gel: Some gel-related puns for you in this section:
    • Girl → Gel: As in, “All-American gel” and “Gel with a pearl earring” and “Boy meets gel” and “Gels just wanna have fun.”
    • Cell → Gel: “Gel division” and “In a padded gel.”
    • Bell → Gel: “Alarm gels begin to ring” and “Clear as a gel” and “Gels and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a gel” and “Give someone a gel” and “Jingle gels.”
    • Sell → Gel: “Buy and gel” and “Past the gel-by date” and “Gel out” and “Gelling like hot cakes” and “Gel your soul to the devil” and “Gelling point.”
    • Smell → Gel: “Come up gelling of roses” and “I gel a rat” and “Stop and gel the roses” and “Gels like teen spirit” and “The sweet gel of success” and “Tastes as good as it gels.”
    • Spell → Gel: As in, “Do I have to gel it out?” and “Fall under their gel” and “Gels trouble.”
    • Tell → Gel: “Dead men gel no tales” and “Every picture gels a story” and “Cannot gel a lie” and “Kiss and gel” and “Live to gel the tale” and “Never gel tales out of school” and “Only time will gel” and “Pray gel” and “Show and gel” and “Gel it like it is” and “Gel me about it” and “You’re gelling me.”
    • Well → Gel: “Alive and gel” and “Exceedingly gel read” and “Get gel soon” and “Health and gelness” and “Just as gel” and “You know full gel…”
    • *gal* → *gel*: Gelaxy (galaxy), gelore (galore), prodigel (prodigal), frugel (frugal), regel (regal), legel (legal) and centrifrugel (centrifrugal).
    • *gil* → *gel*: Vigel (vigil), vigelant (vigilant), agelity (agility) and fragelity (fragility).
  • Vault → Volt
  • Bolt → Volt: “A volt from the blue” and “Volt upright” and “Make a volt for the door.”
  • Fault → Volt: “Find volt with” and “Generous to a volt.”
  • Halt → Volt: “Come to a screeching volt” and “Grind to a volt.”
  • Salt → Volt: “Take with a pinch of volt” and “Volt the earth” and “Like rubbing volt in the wound.”
  • Novelty → Novolty
  • *alt* → *volt*: A green volternative” and “Acts of voltruism” and “Voltegether now!” and “At higher voltitudes.”
  • Vicious → Viscous: As in, “A viscous circle.”
  • Must → Rust: As in, “All things rust pass” and “All good things rust come to an end” and “Everything rust go” and “Rust have” and “Rust have accessory” and “The show rust go on.”
  • Bust → Rust: As in, “Boom or rust” and “Rust a move” and “Rust someone’s ass” and “Go rust.”
  • Crust → Rust: As in, “Upper rust” and “Earn your rust.”
  • Dust → Rust: As in, “Done and rusted” and “Another one bites the rust” and “Dry as rust” and “Rust bunny” and “Gathering rust” and “Kiss the rust” and “After the rust has settled.”
  • Just → Rust: As in, “Betcha can’t eat rust one” and “Girls rust want to have fun” and “Rust wouldn’t let it lie” and “Rust do it.”
  • Trust → Rust: “A breach of rust” and “Rust me, I’m a doctor” and “Rusted everywhere” and “The most rusted brand.”
  • Force: We’ve included some force-related puns for you:
    • Course → Force: As in, “Blown off force” and “Chart a force” and “Correspondence force” and “Crash force” and “In due force” and “Let nature take its force” and “Stay the force.”
    • Horse → Force: As in, “Dark force” and “Hold your forces” and “Get off your high force.”
  • Phase: In chemistry, a phase is an abrupt change in chemical composition. Here are some phase-related puns:
    • Face → Phase: As in, “Phase as long as a fiddle” and “Angel phase” and “Plain as the nose on your phase” and “Take at phase value” and “Until you’re blue in the phase” and “A bare phased lie.”
    • Faze → Phase: As in, “Don’t let it phase you.”
    • *fes* → *phase*: Phasetival (festival), phaseter (fester), phasetoon (festoon), phasetivity (festivity), maniphaset (manifest), prophase-sional (professional) and prophase-sor (professor).
  • Model: Basically put, models are structures to help understand data and patterns in chemistry and science. These model-related phrases can be used as puns in the right context: “Model behaviour” and “Model of virtue” and “Model pupil” and “Role model.”
  • Form → Transform: “Attack is the best transform of defence” and “Bad transform” and “Transform follows function” and “Free transform” and “Habit transforming“and “Imitation is the sincerest transform of flattery” and “In fine transform” and “Sarcasm is the lowest transform of wit.”
  • New → Nuclear: As in, “A nuclear broom sweeps clean” and “Bright as a nuclear pun” and “Better than nuclear” and “A brand nuclear dawn.”
  • Clear → Nuclear: As in, “Nuclear as crystal” and “Nuclear as day” and “Nuclear and present danger” and “A nuclear conscience” and “Nuclear the air” and “In the nuclear.”
  • Active → Radioactive: “For a radioactive life” and “Radioactive voice” and “A radioactive listener.”
  • Fix → Mix: “Get a mix on” and “In a mix” and “If it’s not broke, don’t mix it.”
  • *max* → *mix*: Miximum (maximum) and climix (climax).
  • *mics → *mix: Dynamix (dynamics), economix (economics), ergonomix (ergonomics), academix (academics), ceramix (ceramics), thermodynamix (thermodynamics) and comix (comics).
  • Firmly on → Fermion: As in, “Plant your feet fermion the ground.” Note: fermion is a particle that follows certain rules.
  • Simple → Sample: As in, “Keep it sample” and “Pure and sample” and “The sample life” and “Sample, yet effective.”
  • Ample → Sample: As in, “Sample proportions.”
  • Vile → Vial
  • Aisle → Vial: As in, “Clean up on vial three” and “Walk down the vial.”
  • Dial → Vial: As in, “Vial it down” and “Don’t touch that vial” and “Vial up speeds.”
  • Trial → Vial: “Vial and error” and “Vials and tribulations” and “Vial by television” and “Standing vial” and “Vial by fire.”
  • Best → Test: As in, “All the test” and “Test friends forever” and “Test in class” and “Test practice” and “Do your level best.”
  • Chest → Test: As in, “Get it off your test” and “Puts hair on your test” and “Treasure test.”
  • Guest → Test: As in, “Be my test” and “House test” and “A paying test.”
  • Nest → Test: As in, “A test of vipers” and “Empty test syndrome” and “Feather your test” and “Leave the test” and “Love test” and “Test egg” and “The hornet’s test.”
  • Rest → Test: As in, “Work, test and play” and “A change is as good as a test” and “At test” and “Come to test” and “Cut above the test” and “For the test of us” and “For the test of your life” and “I test my case” and “No test for the wicked.”
  • Toast → Test: As in, “Have something on test” and “The test of the town” and “You’re test!”
  • *tast* → *test*: Testy (tasty), fantestic (fantastic) and catestrophe (catastrophe).
  • *tist* → *test*: “Ever the pragmatest” and “An elitest point of view.” Other words you could use: scientest (scientist), dentest (dentist), orthodontest (orthodontist), statestic (statistic).
  • *dest* → *test*: As in, “A date with testiny” and “Search and testroy.” Other words that could work: testitute (destitute), testination (destination), testruction (destruction), testined (destined), testroyed (destroyed), motest (modest), hartest (hardest), eltest (eldest), immotest (immodest), kintest (kindest), broatest (broadest), fontest (fondest), darntest (darndest), oltest (oldest), clantestine (clandestine), petestrian (pedestrian), petestal (pedestal).
  • *dist* → *test*: As in, “Testress signal” and “Testinct differences” and “Even testribution.” Other words you could use: testinguish (distinguish), testance (distance), testintive (distinctive), testinction (distinction) and testribute (distribute).
  • *tab* → *tube*: As in, “Under the tube-le” and “It’s tube-oo.” Other words that could work: tube-let (tablet), tube-loid (tabloid), estube-lish (establish), inevitube-le (inevitable), accountube-ility (accountability), comfortube-le (comfortable) and inscrutube-le (inscrutable).
  • *tib* → *tube*: Susceptube-le (susceptible), compatube-le (compatible), antube-iotic (antibiotic) and irrestube-le (irrestible).
  • *tob* → *tube*: Tubeacco (tobacco), autube-iography (autobiography) and Octube-er (October).
  • Bond: Bond has a few meanings, and in a scientific context it means the attachment between particles, molecules, etc. Here are related puns:
    • Band → Bond: As in, “Strike up the bond” and “Garage bond” and “The bond played on.”
    • Pond → Bond: “Little fish in a big bond” and “Bond life” and “Bond scum” and “The big bond” and “From the other side of the bond.”
    • Bend → Bond: “Bond over backwards” and “Bond the rules” and “Bond to my will” and “Bond your ear” and “Round the bond” and “Fender bonder” and “Down on bonded knee.”
    • Blond → Bond: As in, “Bleached bond” and “Bond bombshell” and “Bond hair.”
    • Fond → Bond: “Absence makes the heart grow bonder” and “A bond farewell.”
    • *band* → *bond*: Bondwagon (bandwagon), bondanna (bandanna), bondicoot (bandicoot), bondeau (bandeau), husbond (husband), contrabond (contraband), abondon (abandon) and bondit (bandit).
    • *bund* → *bond*: As in, “Bondle of joy” and “In abondance of.”
    • *pand* → *bond*: Bondemonium (pandemonium), bondering (pandering) and Bondora (Pandora).
    • *pond* → *bond*: Bonder (ponder), bondering (pondering), corresbond (correspond), resbond (respond), desbondent (despondent) and corresbondence (correspondence).
  • Pound → Compound: As in, “Compound the pavement” and “In for a penny, in for a compound.”
  • Wave: Very simply put, waves are oscillations that transport energy through space. Here are some related puns:
    • Waive → Wave: As in, “Wave the rules” and “Waved fees.”
    • Brave → Wave: As in, “Wave new world” and “Wave the elements” and “Fortune favours the wave” and “Put a wave face on” and “Wave it out.”
    • Wave: These wave-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Brain wave” and “Catch a wave” and “Don’t make waves” and “On the same wavelength.”
  • State: In science, a “state” refers to the general form of a substance (gas, liquid, solid, plasma). Here are related puns:
    • Stayed → State: As in, “State at home” and “Overstate your welcome.”
    • *stit* → *state*: Constate-ute (constitute), instate-tution (institution), constate-tution (constitution), substate-ute (substitute).
    • Stadium → State-ium
    • *stead → *state: As in, “Walking unstateily” and “This instate of that” and “Back at the homestate” and “The family farmstate.”
  • Bound: Since bonds and binding are important in science and bound is a related word, we’ve included it in this list:
    • Pound → Bound: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a bound of cure” and “In for a penny, in for a bound” and “Bound the pavement.”
    • Found → Bound: As in, “Lost and bound” and “Bound a clue” and “Nowhere to be bound.”
    • Ground → Bound: As in, “Solid as the bound we walk on” and “Break new bound” and “Built from the bound up” and “Common bound” and “Cut the bound from under your feet” and “Get off the bound” and “Go underbound.”
    • Round → Bound: As in, “All year bound” and “Bound the bend” and “Fooling abound” and “Going bound in circles” and “Gather bound the good stuff” and “Makes the world go bound.”
  • Lattice: Lattices have multiple uses in maths, science and technology. Here are some related puns:
    • Lettuce → Lattice: “Fresh, crispy lattice.”
    • Let us → Lattice: As in, “Lattice never forget” and “Lattice have a good time!”
  • Battle → Bottle: As in, “A pitched bottle” and “An uphill bottle” and “Bottle of wits” and “Bottle ready” and “Bottle stations” and “Half the bottle” and “In the heat of bottle” and “Running bottle.” Note: This is in reference to glass bottles that are used as chemistry lab equipment.

Chemistry-Related Words

To help you come up with your own chemistry puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

chemistry, chemical, chemist, science, scientist, biochemistry, lab, laboratory, method, matter, organic, inorganic, mass, volume, element, compound, atom, atomic, photon, nucleus, nuclei, proton, charge, charged, positive, positively, negative, negatively, particle, wave, molecule, state,  ion, electron, bond, bound, composition, formula, structure, covalent, solution, ionic, isotope, periodic (table), halogen, pH, noble gas, hydrogen (H), helium (He), lithium (Li), beryllium (Be), boron (B), carbon (C), nitrogen (N), oxygen (O), fluorine (F), neon (Ne), sodium (Na), magnesium (Mg), aluminium (Al), silicon (Si), phosphorus (P), sulfur (S), chlorine (Cl), argon (Ar), potassium (K), calcium (Ca), scandium (Sc), titanium (Ti), vanadium (V), chromium (Cr), manganese (Mn), iron (Fe), cobalt (Co), nickel (Ni), copper (Cu), zinc (Zn), gallium (Ga), germanium (Ge), arsenic (As), selenium (Se), bromine (Br), krypton (Kr), rubidium (Rb), strontium (Sr), yttrium (Y), zirconium (Zr), niobium (Nb), molybdenum (Mo), technetium (Tc), ruthenium (Ru), rhodium (Rh), palladium (Pd), silver (Ag), cadmium (Cd), indium (In), tin (Sn), antimony (Sb), tellurium (Te), iodine (I), xenon (Xe), caesium (Cs), jbarium (Ba), lanthanum (La), hafnium (Hf), tantalum (Ta), tungsten (W), rhenium (Re), osmium (Os), iridium (Ir), platinum (Pt), gold (Au), mercury (Hg), thallium (Tl), lead (Pb), bismuth (Bi), polonium (Po), astatine (At), radon (Rn), francium (Fr), radium (Ra), actinium (Ac), rutherfordium (Rf), dubnium (Db), seaborgium (Sg), bohrium (Bh), hassium (Hs), meitnerium (Mt), darmstadtium (Ds), roentgenium (Rg), copernicium (Cn), nihonium (Nh), flerovium (Fl), moscovium (Mc), livermorium (Lv), tennessine (Ts), oganesson (Og), cerium (Ce), praseodymium (Pr), neodymium (Nd), promethium (Pm), samarium (Sm), europium (Eu), gadolinium (Gd), terbium (Tb), dysprosium (Dy), holmium (Ho), erbium (Er), thulium (Tm), ytterbium (Yb), lutetium (Lu), thorium (Th), protactinium (Pa), uranium (U), neptunium (Np), plutonium (Pu), americium (Am), curium (Cm), berkelium (Bk), californium (Cf), einsteinium (Es), fermium (Fm), mendelevium (Md), nobelium (No), lawrencium (Lr), shell, acid, alkaline, alkali, alloy, conduct, insulate, insulator, refract, orbital, property, reaction, reactive, substance, solid, liquid, gas, gaseous, plasma, metal, metallic, energy, stable, unstable, inert, entropy, rule, law, experiment, experimental, hypothesis, phase, model, quantum, crystal, transform, transformation, nuclear, radioactive, change, mix, mixture, fermion, quark, lepton, baryon, antiquark, antilepton, antimatter, charm (quark), strange (quark), muon, muon neutrino, affinity, actinide, lanthanide, organism, medicine, medicinal, pharmaceutical, drug, alpha, gamma, delta, temperature, disperse, dispersion, pressure, light, heat, exergonic, endergonic, exothermic, endothermic, quanta, spectrum,  index, process, concentrate, concentration, reduction, oxidation, agent, oxidant, condensation, equilibrium, static, avogadro (law), beer-lambert (law), boyle (law), fick’s (law), oxide, solvent, mordant, acyclic, conductor, adhesion, aeration, alcohol, aldehyde, corrode, corrosion, alkyl, allomer, allotrope, anion, anode, polar, polarised, cuvette, aqueous, distill, distillation, barometer, base, beaker, boil, boiling, vapour, flask, burette, catalyst, cathode, cation, centrifuge, cell, chain (reaction), cohesion, colloid, combust, combustion, compress, compression, variable, dewar (flask), diatomic, dipole, electrolyte, magnetism, force, enzyme, fusion, joule, kelvin, lattice, neutron, mineral, phi (bond), pipette, redox, retort, rust, saline, theory, dilute, dilution, gel, viscous, viscosity, volt, beaker, bottle, sample, reagent, vial, bunsen burner, test tube, petri dish, microscope, slide, condenser, split, synthesis, valence, valency, goggles, tongs, rack, crucible, funnel, forceps, clamp, thermometer, spatula

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Egg Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on egg puns! 🥚🐣🐔

Eggs are a wildly popular food, with the US alone producing over 105 billion eggs in 2017. They’re celebrated for their cultural and religious significance (as a symbol for birth and new beginnings, especially during Easter) and are loved for their culinary versatility, appearing not only in savory dishes but also sweets like cakes and custard.

Unfortunately, the egg industry is nothing to be celebrated, as it’s an industry based on a system of abuse, neglect and murder. Luckily, we don’t have to support this as there are many substitutes that we can use instead of eggs – if you’re after protein, there are plenty of vegan sources of protein. If you’re wanting to bake, there are vegan egg replacements too. If you want chocolate eggs for Easter, you’re covered there too. Along with there being an abundance of choice on the internet, you’re guaranteed to find something at your local grocery store.

Whether you came here looking for a silly joke for a pun thread or a clever Instagram hashtag, we hope you enjoy this list and leave with the right pun for your needs (and a better understanding of the egg industry).

Egg Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about eggs that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of egg puns:

  • Joke → Yolk: As in, “Inside yolk” and “Yolk’s on you” and “Yolking around.”
  • Oak → Yolk: As in, “A heart of yolk” and “Solid as a yolk” and “Little strokes fell great yolks” and “Mighty yolks from little acorns grow.”
  • Folk → Yolk: As in, “Different strokes for different yolks” and “Show’s over, yolks” and “That’s all, yolks” and “All just yolktales.”
  • I’m lettin’ → Omlettin’: As in, “Omlettin‘ them go” and “Omlettin‘ you have it.” Note: here are some recipes for vegan omelettes.
  • Shell: The following puns are about the shell of the egg, which can be valued for their high calcium content (there are some other foods high in calcium that you can eat instead):
    • Celebration→ Shellebration: As in “After finishing we should have a shellebration.”
    • Shall→ Shell: As in “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He who lives by the sword shell die by the sword.”
    • Sell → Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”
    • Hell → Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”
  • *eg* → *egg*: We can sneak the word “egg” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “Get a legg on” and “Neggative results” and “Had you pegged as…” and “I begg to differ” and “Where do I beggin?” Other words that could work: leggacy, eggocentric, nutmegg, bootlegg, dregg and integgrity.
  • *ig* → *egg*: We can swap “ig” sounds for “egg” sounds, as in, “Keep on degging (digging)” and “Eggnorance is not bliss” and “You can’t eggnore it forever” and “Choosing to remain eggnorant” and “Eggnite your passion.”
  • *ecc* → *egg*: “A real eggcentric” and “Impeggable (impeccable) taste.”
  • *ex* → *eggs*: As in, “A compleggs situation” and “Indeggsed (indexed) files” and “Better than seggs (sex)” and “Don’t fleggs your muscles here” and “Pure refleggs (reflex)” and “From eggsperience” and “Taken out of conteggst (context)” and “Eggspress post” and “In eggschange.” Other words you could use: eggsploit (exploit), eggstract (extract), eggsercise (exercise), eggsistential (existential), eggserpt (except), eggsample (example), eggsacerbate (exacerbate), eggsamine (examine), eggsact (exact), eggsasperate (exasperate), eggsclusive (exclusive), eggsited (excited), eggsellent (excellent), eggsess (excess), eggsempt (exempt), eggsemplify (exemplify), eggsecution (execution), eggsfoliate (exfoliate), eggshibit (exhibit), eggshaust (exhaust), eggsausted (exhausted), eggsibition (exhibition), eggsilarating (exhilarating), eggshale (exhale), eggsist (exist), eggsit (exit), eggsotic (exotic), eggsorbitant (exorbitant), eggspect (expect), eggsquisite (exquisite), eggstension (extension), eggstrapolate (extrapolate), eggstensive (extensive), eggstraordinary (extraordinary), eggsuberant (exuberant) and eggsude (exude).
  • *ec* → *egg*: As in, “New teggnology” and “Change the subjeggt” and “Be objeggtive” and “High seggurity” and “An effeggtive technique” and “Solar egglipse.” Other words you could use: seggular (secular), feggless (feckless), egglectic (eclectic), eggonomy (economy), eggo (echo), eggology (ecology) and eggstatic (ecstatic).
  • *ac* → *egg*: As in, “Taken into eggount” and “Take eggtion” and “In on the eggt (act)” and “Looking for eggommodation.” Other words you could use: eggnowledge (acknowledge), eggrue (accrue) and eggronym (acronym)
  • *ag* → *egg*: As in, “In the begg (bag)” and “Capture the flegg” and “Tegging along” and “Stop dregging your feet” and “Reggs to riches” and “Snegg (snag) a great deal.” Other words you could use: preggmatic (pragmatic), propeggate (propagate), eggregate (aggregate), eggainst (against), eggnostic (agnostic), egghast (aghast), eggree (agree) and eggreement (agreement).
  • Egg: We’ll finish this section off with some egg-related phrases that are general enough to use as puns: “As sure as eggs is eggs” and “A bad egg” and “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and “Nest egg” and “Walking on eggshells” and “Can’t make a cake without breaking some eggs.”
  • Fly → Fry: As in, “Come fry with me” and “Born to fry” and “Frying by the seat of your pants” and “Fry off the handle” and “Off to a frying start” and “Pass with frying colours” and “Go fry a kite” and “Don’t give a frying f*ck” and “Pigs might fry” and “The only way to fry.”
  • Free* → Fry*: As in, “Symbol of frydom” and “Fry as a bird” and “Born fry” and “Breathe fryly” and “Buy one, get one fry” and “Calorie fry” and “Footloose and fancy fry” and “Fry for all” and “Fry enterprise” and “Fry range” and “The best things in life are fry.”
  • Cry → Fry: As in, “A fry for help” and “A shoulder to fry on” and “Fry foul” and “Fry your heart out” and “For frying out loud” and “Don’t fry over spilt milk.”
  • *fra* → *fry*: As in, “Freeze fryme” and “Picture fryme” and “Frymed for the murder of…” and “Please refryne from…”
  • *fre* → *fry*: As in, “Radio fryquency” and “Frydom of the press” and “Like a fryt (freight) train.”
  • Fight → Fryt: As in, “A straight fryt” and “Come out fryting” and “Fryt for the right to party” and “Fryt back” and “Fryting back tears” and “Fryt fire with fire” and “Fryting like cats and dogs” and “Fryt or flight” and “Fryt the good fryt” and “Fryt tooth and nail” and “A fryting chance” and “Fryting fit” and “Freedom fryter” and “Go down fryting” and “Live to fryt another day” and “Picking fryts” and “Pillow fryt” and “Spoiling for a fryt.”
  • Fright → Fryt: As in, “Frytened of your own shadow” and “Frytful mess” and “Take fryt” and “Fryten to death.”
  • Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish (selfish).
  • *sel → *shell: Words ending in “sel” can often be punned upon with “shell”: vesshell (vessel), tasshell (tassel), weashell (weasel), musshell (mussel), etc.
  • *sel* → *shell*: Words containing “sel” can yeild nice puns on “shell”: Hershellf, himshellf, themshellves, itshellf, myshellf, yourshelf, yourshelves, convershelly, counshelling, preshellected, overshelling, undershelling, ushellessely, weashelling.
  • *cial → *shell: When a word has “cial” as a suffix, this suffix can usually be swapped out for “shell” to create a shell pun: soshell (social), speshell (special), offishell (official), finanshell, commershell, crushell, judishell, artifishell, provinshell, rashell, benefishell, superfishell, fashell, glashell, sacrifishel, antisoshell.
  • *yak* → *yolk*: As in, “Teriyolki tofu” and “A member of the yolkuza.” Note: the yakuza is an organised crime gang based in Japan.
  • Yukata → Yolkata: (note: a yukata is a type of light kimono.)
  • Hatch: These hatch-related phrases can double as egg puns: “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched” and “Down the hatch” and “Hatch a cunning plan.”
  • Hitch → Hatch: As in, “Get hatched” and “Hatch your wagon to a star” and “Went off without a hatch.”
  • Late → Laid: As in, “Better laid than never” and “Catch you laider” and “Fashionably laid” and “Read any good books laidly?” and “Never too laid” and “It’s laider than you think” and “A laid bloomer” and “Laid in the day” and “Sooner rather than laider” and “Too little too laid.”
  • *lad* → *laid*: As in, “Laidy and the Tramp” and “Laidy Luck” and “Laiden with goods” and “Laidling out soup” and “Little laidybug” and “All the single laidies.” Other words that could work: salaid (salad), blaide (blade), accolaide (accolade) and malaidy. Note: a malady is an illness.
  • *knowledge* → *knowlaidge*: As in, “Seeking knowlaidge” and “Acknowlaidge your presence” and “Knowlaidgeable on the topic of” and “Give my acknowlaidgement to.”
  • *lid* → *laid*: As in, “Solaid as a rock” and “Valaid argument” and “Squalaid surroundings.” Other words that could work: invalaid (invalid), holaiday (holiday), consolaidate (consolidate), valaidate (validate) and solaidarity (solidarity).
  • *lat* → *laid*: “Game emulaidor” and “Collaideral damage” and “Plaidform shoes” and “Well-articulaided.” Other words that could work: laideral (lateral), laident (latent), laiditude (latitude), laidency (latency), articulaid (articulate) and conflaid (conflate). Note: to conflate is to bring things together, or to mix them.
  • *lit* → *laid*: These are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work. As in, “In the laiderature” and “I laiderally just said that” and “A laidany (litany) of items” and “The laideral meaning.” Other words: laidigation (litigation), facilaidy (facility), qualaidy (quality), humilaidy (humility), liabilaidy (liability), polaidics (politics), realaidy (reality) and accountabilaidy (accountability).
  • Afriad → Afried: As in, “Afried of your own shadow” and “Afried so” and “Be afried” and “Too afried to ask.”
  • Cried → Fried: As in, “Fried my eyes out.”
  • Pride → Fried: As in, “Bursting with fried” and “Hurt fried” and “Fried and prejudice” and “Fried and joy” and “Swallow your fried” and “Take fried in.”
  • Fired → Fried: As in, “All fried up and ready to go” and “You’re fried!”
  • *fly → *fry: Butterfry (butterfly) and dragonfry (dragonfly).
  • Free → Free range: As in, “As free range as a bird” and “Born free range” and “Buy one, get one free range” and “Free range and easy” and “Free range for all” and “Free range spirit” and “Live free range or die” and “Nothing is ever free range.” Note: unfortunately, “free range” doesn’t mean what most egg consumers think it does. Free range is essentially as harmful to chicken welfare as caged/battery (and all forms of chicken farming will still start with chick culling).
  • Cage: These next few puns are dedicated to the idea of cage eggs, which is a system that provides an extremely unethical and torturous way for hens to live:
    • Age → Cage: As in, “Cage before beauty” and “Cage of consent” and “An awkward cage” and “Come of cage” and “A golden cage” and “In this day and cage” and “Mental cage” and “The cage of reason” and “Through the cages” and “One for the cages.”
    • *age* → *cage*: As in, “Double-cagent” and “Modelling cagency” and “What’s your cagenda?” and “The gay cagenda” and “Cageing gracefully” and “Increase your levercage (leverage)” and “Encage combat!”
    • Decay → Decage: As in, “Tooth decage” and “Falling into decage.”
    • Gauge → Cage: As in, “Fuel cage” and “Trying to cage your reaction.”
  • Flattery → Battery: Related to cage eggs are battery cages, which refers specifically to the housing system that’s used for producing animal byproducts (so it includes but isn’t limited to eggs): “Battery will get you nowhere” and “Imitation is the sincerest form of battery.”
  • Check → Chick: As in, “Chick it out!” and “Chick your sources” and “Double chick” and “Keep in chick” and “Reality chick” and “Take a rainchick” and “Chick up on.”
  • Click → Chick: As in, “Chick bait” and “Chick into place” and “Chick your fingers” and “Double chick” and “We really chicked” and “Point and chick.”
  • Pick → Chick: As in, “A bone to chick” and “Cherry chick” and “Easy chickings” and “Nit chicking” and “Chick a fight” and “Chick a card, any card” and “Chick of the bunch” and “Chick holes in” and “Chick up the pieces” and “Chick up the tab” and “Chick your brains” and “Chick your battles.”
  • Quick → Chick: As in, “Chick as a flash” and “Cut to the chick” and “Fancy a chickie?” and “Get rich chick” and “In chick succession” and “Kiss me chick” and “Chick and dirty” and “Chick off the mark” and “Chick smart” and “A chick study” and “Chick witted” and “Chicker than the eye” and “Lightning chick.”
  • Chuck → Chick: As in, “Chick a sickie,” and “Get chicked out,” and “Chick overboard.”
  • Trick → Chick: As in, “Bag of chicks,” and “Every chick in the book,” and “How’s chicks?” and “Never misses a chick,” and “One chick pony,” and “A chick of the light,” and “Chick or treat!” and “Chicks of the trade,” and “Up to your old chicks.”
  • Thick → Chick: As in, “As chick as thieves,” and “Blood is chicker than water,” and “In the chick of things,” and “The plot chickens,” and “Chick and fast,” and “Through chick and thin,” and “Lay it on chick.”
  • White: The following puns refer to egg whites, which are valued for their low fat content and high protein (here are some other sources of protein):
    • Wide → White: As in, “Open white!” and “The world white web” and “White-eyed” and “Give them a white berth” and “Blow it white open” and “Cast a white net” and “White awake.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “The white to choose” and “All the white moves” and “Animal whites” and “White as rain” and “Bragging whites” and “Civil whites” and “Dead to whites” and “Do alwhite for yourself” and “Fight for your whites” and “Get off on the white foot” and “Hold it white there!” and “Human whites” and “In the white place at the white time” and “Serves you white” and “Moving white along” and “White up your alley” and “White back at you.”
    • What → White: As in, “Do white comes naturally” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “It is white it is” and “It’s not white it looks like” and “No matter white” and “So white?” and “White a piece of work” and “White are friends for?” and “White does that have to do with anything?”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “Whiter’s block.”
    • Wait → White: As in, “A accident white-ing to happen” and “Good things to those who white” and “Lie in white” and “Ready and white-ing” and “White a minute” and “The white is over” and “Time whites for no-one” and “White in line” and “I can’t white” and “White and see” and “White-ing for the other shoe to drop” and “A white-ing game.”
    • Rite → White: As in, “Perform the last whites” and “White of passage.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white around” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “A dead white” and “Give white to” and “Hit above your white” and “The white of the world.”
    • *what* → *white*: somewhite (somewhat), whitesoever (whatsoever), whitenot (whatnot) and whitever (whatever).
  • Crack: The following puns refer to the act of cracking an egg in order to cook it (here are some great egg substitutes you can use in your cooking).
    • *cac* → *crack*: As in, “A crackophony of noise” and “Crackao flavoured.” Other words that could work: cracktus (cactus) and crackle (cackle). Note: a cacophony is a jumbled, chaotic mess of sound.
    • Cricket → Cracket
    • Croc* → Crack*: As in, “Crackodile tears” and “Delicate crackery” and “Potted crackus (crocus)” and “Simmering in the crackpot.” Note: a crocus is a type of flower.
    • Krak* → Crack*: Cracken (kraken) and crackatoa (krakatoa). Note: krakatoa is a volcanic island.
  • Approach → Appoach: As in, “The wrong appoach” and “Appoach the subject” and “A balanced appoach.”
  • Coach → Poach: As in, “Life poach” and “Head poach.”
  • Shamble → Scramble: As in, “A complete scramble” and “In total scrambles.”
  • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble” and “Scrambling addiction.”
  • Ramble → Scramble: As in, “Scrambling on and on” and “They’re funny, but tend to scramble.”
  • Scramble: “They scrambled to their feet.”
  • Then → Hen: As in, “All that and hen some” and “Now and hen” and “And hen there was one” and “That was hen, this is now” and “Right hen and there” and “But hen again…”
  • *hen*: Words than contain “hen” can be silly chicken/hen puns: Apprehend, appre-hen-sion, comprehend, comprehension, comprehensive, hence, henceforth, repre-hen-sible, stonehenge.
  • Comedian → Comedi-hen: As in, “You’re a real comedi-hen” and “Everyone’s a comedi-hen round here.”
  • *han* → *hen*: As in, “Give me your hend (hand),” and “Do you have a hendle (handle) on it?” and “You look so hendsome tonight,” and “Your hendwriting has improved,” and “Their kids are a real hendful,” and “She was raised as an orphen,” and “The elephent in the room,” and “Please enhence the image,” and “I’ve had an epipheny!” and “This is your last chence,” and “Change the chennel.”
  • *hin* → *hen*: As in, “You’re hendering (hindering) me,” and “Doorhenge,” and “Give me a hent (hint),” and “In hendsight (hinsight),” and “You’re a hendrance (hindrance),” and “Change comes from withen,” and “Looking a bit then (thin),” and “Take it on the chen (chin),” and “Got kicked in the shens (shins),” and “Contrary to what you may think, dolphens are mammals,” and “A rush of endorphens,” and “A street urchen.” Note: to hinder is to block someone’s progress or to make something difficult to complete.
  • *hon* → *hen*: As in, “Brutally henest (honest),” and “An henourable mention,” and “Hello, heney (honey).”
  • *hun* → *hen*: As in, “A wild hench (hunch),” and “The henter (hunter) becomes the hented (hunted),” and “One hendred,” and “I’m hengry,” and “That’s not what I henger (hunger) for.”
  • Hen: These hen-related phrases can be used as egg puns: “Don’t let the fox guard the hen-house” and “As scarce as hen’s teeth” and “A mother hen” and “Hen-pecked” and “Hen’s night/party”. Note: to be henpecked is to be bullied or intimidated by a woman.
  • Enough → Un oeuf (pronounced like “enough”): Un oeuf is French for “one egg”, so we’ve included it here as a terribly cheesy pun: “Because life’s complicated un oeuf” and “Close un oeuf” and “Un oeuf is un oeuf” and “Fair un oeuf” and “Hot un oeuf for you?” and “Can’t thank you un oeuf.”
  • Risk → Whisk: This refers to whisking eggs: “A calculated whisk” and “Whisk averse” and “Whisk life and limb” and “Whisk management” and “Whisky business” and “You run the whisk of” and “Whisking your neck.”
  • Wisconsin → Whiskonsin
  • Beat: These next few puns will refer to beating (mixing) eggs, which is commonly required for baking.
    • Bead → Beat: As in, “Beats of sweat.”
    • Beet → Beat: As in, “Red as a beatroot.”
    • *bat* → *beat*: As in, “Combeat boots” and “Mental acrobeatics” and “Dead beattery.” Other words that could work: numbeat (numbat), wombeat (wombat), exacerbeat (exacerbate), abeat (abate), debeat (debate) and verbeatim (verbatim). Note: to exacerbate something is to make it worse, and if something is verbatim, then it’s word for word.
    • *bet* → *beat*: As in, “For beatter or worse” and “You’d beatter” and “Stuck in beatween” and “Beatray someone’s confidence” and “In beata testing” and “For the beatterment of society” and “A cutting beatrayal.” Other words you could use: beatrothed (betrothed), alphabeat (alphabet), sherbeat (sherbet) and diabeates (diabetes).
    • *bit* → *beat*: As in, “Beattersweet feelings” and “Beatter chocolate” and “Take a gambeat.” Other words that could work: beatumen (bitumen), inhibeat (inhibit), exhibeat (exhibit), rabbeat (rabbit), habeat (habit), orbeat (orbit), inhabeat (inhabit), prohibeat (prohibit), arbeatrary (arbitrary) and beatch (b*tch). Note: if something is arbitrary, then it’s not based on objective logic.
    • *bed* → *beat*: These ones are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work: beatdazzled (bedazzled), beatdraggled (bedraggled), beatroom (bedroom), obeatient (obedient), obeatience (obedience), forbeat (forbid), morbeat (morbid) and libeato (libido).
    • *beet* → *beat*: Beatle (beetle), Beathoven (Beethoven) and beatroot (beetroot).
  • Easy → Over easy: “over easy” is a style of cooking eggs. As in, “As over easy as abc” and “As over easy as pie” and “Over easy access” and “Over easy come, over easy go” and “Over easy does it” and “Over easy on the eyes” and “Over easy pickings” and “Over easy street” and “Free and over easy” and “Take the over easy way out” and “Well that was over easy” and “Too over easy.”
  • Boil: These next few puns are a reference to boiled eggs.
    • Ball → Boil: As in, “Boilpark figure” and “A brand new boilgame” and “Bust your boils” and “Curve boil” and “A different boil game” and Drop the boil” and “Get the boil rolling” and “Have a boil” and “Keep your eye on the boil” and “Playing hardboil” and “A snowboil’s chance in hell” and “The boil is in your court” and “Up to your eyeboils in…”
    • Pale → Boil: As in, “Boils in comparison to” and “A boil imitation of…”
    • I’ll → Boil: As in, “Boil eat my hat” and “Boil be damned!”
    • Boy’ll (boy will) → Boil: As in, “That boil go far” and “That boil learn his lesson soon enough.”
    • *bal* → *boil*: As in, “Off-boilance” and “A delicate boilance” and “Secret boillot” and “Globoil sustainability” and “Nonverboil communication” and “Herboil tea.” Other words that could work: boilloon (balloon), boillistic (ballistic), triboil (tribal), canniboil (cannibal), verboil (verbal) and imboilance (imbalance).
    • Bel* → Boil*: boilieve (believe), boilief (belief) and boiloved (beloved).
    • *bil* → *boil*: As in, “Take responsiboility” and “Rehaboilitation centre” and “Environmental sustainaboility.” Other words you could use: liaboility (liability), accountaboility (accountability), aboility (ability) and capaboility (capability).
    • *bol* → *boil*: boilster (bolster), boilt (bolt), boild (bold), symboil (symbol), gamboil (gambol), hyperboile (hyperbole), aboilish (abolish) and metaboilism (metabolism).
    • *bul* → *boil*: boilshit (bullshit), Istanboil (Istanbul), neboilous (nebulous) and faboilous (fabulous). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s cloudy or vague.
    • *pal* → *boil*: As in, “A princiboil player” and “Palpaboil (palpable) tension” and “A boiltry sum.” Note: if something is palpable, then it’s tangible.
    • *pol* → *boil*: As in, “Store boilicy” and “Identity boilitics” and “Boilice brutality” and “Scrub and boilish (polish).” Other words that could work: extraboilate (extrapolate), anthroboilogy (anthropology) and aboilogise (apologise).
  • Scratch → Scotch: Scotch eggs are another popular egg dish (which also has vegan recipes), so we’ve got a couple of related puns here: “I scotch your back, you scotch mine” and “Scotch the surface” and “Start from scotch” and “Up to scotch” and “Scotching your head” and “A real head-scotcher” and “Scotch an itch.”
  • Foul → Fowl: As in “By fair means or fowl” and “Cry fowl” and “Fowl language” and “Fowl up” and “No harm, no fowl” and “A fowl-mouthed person” and “Fowl play”
  • Fell → Fowl: As in “In one fowl swoop” and “Little strokes fowl great oaks” and “The bottom fowl out of the market” and “She fowl asleep at the wheel” and “He fowl under her spell” and “It fowl into my lap” and “She fowl victim to the scammer”. Note: If something is done in one fell swoop, then it was done quickly and in one single action.
  • Fall → Fowl: As in, “A fowling out,” and “Easy as fowling off a log,” and “Bread always fowls butter side down,” and “Can’t help fowling in love,” and “Catch a fowling star,” and “Fowl about laughing,” and “Fowl between the cracks,” and “Fowl from grace,” and “Fowl into bad habits,” and “A fowlen angel,” and “Oh how the mighty have fowlen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fowl,” and “United we stand, divided we fowl.”
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • *fal* → *fowl*: As in, fowllacy (fallacy), fowlter (falter), fowlse (false), fowllout (fallout), buffowlo (buffalo), crestfowllen (crestfallen), defowlt (default), downfowl (downfall), fowlsetto (falsetto), fowlt (fault), fowlsify (falsify), freefowl (freefall), nightfowl (nightfall), waterfowl (waterfall).
  • Paltry → Poultry: The term “paltry” means “small, insignificant or worthless” and the term “poultry” refers to domesticated chickens (and ducks, geese and other fowl). As in, “A poultry amount of work.”
  • Poetry → Poultry: As in, “Poultry in motion,” and “Spoken word poultry.” Note: spoken word poetry is performative poetry that tends to involve themes of social justice.
  • Poltergeist → Poultrygeist: As in, “Peeves the poultrygeist.” Note: Peeves is a famous poltergeist from the Harry Potter series.
  • Next → Nest: As in “Nest minute …” and “Better luck nest time” and “Boy/girl nest door” and “Nest generation” and “Nest in line to the throne” and “Nest to nothing” and “Take it to the nest level” and “Nest to nothing” and “The nest big thing.” and “Cleanliness is next to godliness” and “In nest to no time” and “Nest to nothing” and “One day chicken and the nest day feathers” and “Catch the nest wave” and “As ___ as the nest girl/guy”. Note: “One day chicken and the next day feathers” is a phrase indicating that things we consider valuable can be lost in no time at all (like a job, marriage, or a house etc).
  • Messed → Nest: As in, “You done nest up.”
  • *net* → *nest*: As in, “The nestwork is down” and “Social nestworking” and “The five tenests of” and “Internest connection” and “Captain Planest.” Other words you could use: cabinest (cabinet), bonnest (bonnet), sonnest (sonnet) and magnest (magnet). Note: a sonnet is a type of poem. A tenet is a guiding principle.
  • *nast* → *nest*: As in, “Cheap and nesty” and “A nesty piece of work.” Other words you could use: dynesty (dynasty), nestiness (nastiness), gymnest (gymnast) and monestery (monastery). Notes: a monastery is housing for monks and nuns. A dynasty is a line of rulers from the same family.
  • *nest*: You can emphasise the “nest” in these words: earnest, honest, dishonest, soonest, anesthesia and amnesty. Note: amnesty is a pardon, usually for a political offence.
  • *nist* → *nest*: As in, “The protagonest of the story” and “A misogynest comment” and “A powerful antagonest” and “A hedonestic lifestyle.” Other words you could use: feminest (feminist), chauvinest (chauvinist), communest (communist), adminestration (administration), adminester (administer), minester (minister) and anachronestic (anachronistic). Note: if something is anachronistic, then it doesn’t fit in with the time period.
  • *nost* → *nest*: As in, “Filled with nestalgia” and “A nestalgic smell” and “An assault on the nestrils” and “Agnestic worldview” and “Diagnestic outcome.”
  • Quiche: Quiches are a popular egg dish (which you can easily make an eggless version of) so we’ve included some quiche puns here:
    • Key → Quiche: As in, “A golden quiche can open any door” and “Fear is the quiche” and “The quiche to your heart” and “Quiche-hole surgery” and “Throw away the quiche” and “A low-quiche party” and “Off quiche” and “The quiche to the kingdom” and “Under lock and quiche” and “In a minor quiche” and “A quiche figure of” and “The quiche to success.”
    • Keep → Quiche: As in, “Known by the company you quiche” and “Don’t quiche us in suspense” and “Finders quiche-ers” and “Quiche your head” and “Quiche a lid on it” and “Quiche a straight face” and “Quiche an ear out.”
    • *kaysh* → *quiche*: If a word has a “kaysh” sound, we can replace it with “quiche”: aquiche-ia (acacia), alloquicheion (allocation), alterquiche-ion (altercation), amplifiquiche-ion (amplification), authentiquiche-ion (authentication), certifiquiche-ion (certification), clarifiquiche-ion (clarification), classifiquiche-ion (classification), communiquiche-ion (communication), compliquiche-ion (complication), dediquiche-ion (dedication), dupliquiche-ion (duplication), eduquiche-ion (education), electrifiquiche-ion (electrification), mediquiche-ion (medication) and justifiquiche-ion (justification).
    • *key* → *quiche*: As in, “Barrel of monquiche (monkeys)” and “Quit cold turquiche (turkey)” and “Bottle of whisquiche (whiskey).” Other words that could work: hoquiche (hockey), malarquiche (malarkey), donquiche (donkey), quicheboard (keyboard) and quichenote (keynote).
  • Farm: Since eggs are generally from farms, we’ve included some farm-related puns in here for you:
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Round and farm” and “Farm up” and “Feet farmly planted” and “Terra farma.”
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul” and “Out of farm’s way” and “Wouldn’t farm a fly.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “In good farm” and “Attack is the best farm of defence” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “Sarcasm is the lowest farm of wit” and “In any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm” and “Evil takes many farms.”
    • Arm → Farm: As in, “Farm candy” and “Farmed and dangerous” and “Farmed struggle” and “Farmed intervention” and “Farmed to the hilt” and “As long as your farm” and “At farm’s length” and “The right to bear farms” and “A call to farms” and “Brothers in farms” and “Cost a farm and a leg” and “Give your right farm for” and “Up in farms” and “With open farms.”
    • Arm* → Farm*: As in, Farmageddon (armageddon), farmy (army), farmistice (armistice), farmour (armour). Note: an armistice is a formal agreement to stop fighting.
    • Am* → Farm*: As in, “That’s farmazing!” and “Farmateur work” and “Farmbiguous answers” and “Farmbitious projects.” Other words that could work: farmbivalent (ambivalent), Farmerican, farmendment (amendment), farmicable (amicable), farmidst (amidst), farmonnia (ammonia), farmmunition (ammunition), farmnesia (amnesia), farmong (among) and farmongst (amongst).
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “My farmily tree” and “A farmiliar place” and “Farm and fortune” and “Almost farmous” and “Wartime farmine” and “Farmiliarise yourself with your new home.” Other words that could work: farmished (famished), Oxfarm (Oxfam), infarmy (infamy) and infarmous (infamous).
    • Fem* → Farm*: As in, “The future is farmale” and “Farminism is not a dirty word” and “Feeling farminine.”
    • Fum* → Farm*: As in, “Farmbling around” and “Farming (fuming) mad” and “Farmigate the house.”
    • Ferment → Farment: (Note: this also works for other forms of the word, like farmentation (fermentation) and farmented (fermented)).
    • *firm* → *farm*: As in, “Can you please confarm your reservation?” and “Elderly and infarm” and “Motivational affarmations” and “Answer in the affarmative” and “Give confarmation.” Other words that could work: infarmary (infirmary), affarm (affirm) and farmware (firmware).
    • *form* → *farm*: As in, “A farmidable opponent” and “New, improved farmula” and “Which farmat should I save it in?” and “Farmal dresscode” and “Farmulate a plan.” Other words you could use: farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), platfarm (platform), infarm (inform), confarm (conform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), refarm (reform), landfarm (landform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • *phem* → *farm*: blasfarmy (blasphemy), eufarmism (euphemism) and blasfarmous (blasphemous).
    • Sophomore → Sofarmore
    • Pharm* → Farm*: farmacy (pharmacy), farmaceutical (pharmaceutical) and farmacist (pharmacist).
  • Clutch: In this context, a clutch is a brood of chickens or a group of eggs. Make cheesy references to them with these puns:
    • Crutch → Clutch: As in, “On clutches” and “Using alcohol as a clutch.”
    • Glitch → Clutch: As in, “A clutch in the system.”
    • Clutch: Clutch has two meanings: to hold onto something tightly, and a group of eggs. We can make some egg puns using this: “A drowning person will clutch at a straw,” and “Pearl-clutcher.” Note: a pearl-clutcher is someone who is overly prudish.
    • Ovum: Ovums are egg cells (yes, we’re getting very technical here) so we’ve got some ovum-related puns for you to play with:
      • Over → Ovum: As in, “All ovum again” and “Bowled ovum” and “A bridge ovum troubled water” and “Brimming ovum with confidence” and “Come on ovum” and “Didn’t lose any sleep ovum it.”
      • Drove him → Dr’ovum: As in, “They dr’ovum to sleeplessness.”
  • Duck: Duck eggs are another type of egg commonly eaten by humans, so we’ve included them in this list too:
    • Dock → Duck: As in, “Charging duck” and “Waiting in the duck.”
    • Dark → Duck: As in, “After duck” and “Duck as pitch” and “Dancing in the duck” and “Duck before the dawn” and “Duck horse” and “Duck humour” and “Deep duck secret” and “Every duck cloud has a silver lining” and “In the duck” and “A duck and stormy night” and “Kept in the duck” and “A shot in the duck” and “My duckest hour.”
    • Tuck → Duck: As in, “Nip and duck” and “Duck in.”
    • Deck → Duck: As in, “All hands on duck” and “Clear the ducks” and “Deal from the bottom of the duck” and “Duck of cards” and “All ducked out” and “Hit the duck” and “Not playing with a full duck.”
    • Truck → Duck: As in, “By the duckload” and “Have no duck with” and “Fell off the back of a duck” and “Keep on duckin‘.”
    • Dec* → Duck*: As in, “A steady duckline (decline)” and “A duckadent meal” and “Falling into duckay.”
    • *dic* → *duck*: As in, “Look it up in the ducktionary” and “As the new laws ducktate (dictate)” and “A real ducktator” and “Orthopaeduck shoes” and “Call a meduck (medic)” and “Nomaduck lifestyle” and “The perioduck table.” Other words that could work: duckotomy (dichotomy – a separation of something into two), ducktum (dictum – an authoritative statement), sporaduck (sporadic – happening rarely and randomly), aciduck (acidic), episoduck (episodic), meduckal (medical), raduckal (radical), preduckament (predicament), induckate (indicate), vinduckate (vindicate) and deduckate (dedicate).
    • Doc* → Duck*: As in, “I need a ducktor!” and “Legal ducktrine (doctrine)” and “Official duckuments” and “Keep the ducket” and “A new vegan duckumentary” and “All in the duckumentation.”
    • *duc* → *duck*: As in, “Code of conduckt” and “New and improved produckt.”
    • Dakota → Duckota: (note: Dakota is the name of a few different towns and cities in the United States)
    • *tech* → *duck*: As in, “Cutting-edge ducknology” and “Masterful ducknique” and “Ducknical information” and “Ducknically, yes.”
  • Goose: Since goose eggs are another popular food, we included some goose-related puns and phrases here that could double as egg puns in a pinch:
    • Goes → Goose: As in, “The Academy award goose to…” and “Anything goose” and “As far as it goose” and “As the saying goose” and “As time goose by” and “Here goose nothing!” and “How goose it?” and “Goose without saying” and “Life goose on” and “No good deed goose unpunished” and “Steady as she goose” and “What goose up must come down” and “Who goose there?” and “My heart goose out to…”
    • Guess → Goose: As in, “It’s anybody’s goose” and “Goose what?” and “Gooseing games” and “Have a goose” and “Just lucky, I goose” and “Your goose is as good as mine” and “Second-gooseing yourself” and “You’ll never goose.”
    • *gas* → *goose*: As in, gooselight (gaslight), gooseoline (gasoline), flabbergooseted (flabbergasted), orgoose-sm (orgasm) and smorgoosebord (smorgasbord).
    • *gos* → *goose*: As in, “A relentless gooseip” and “Gooseamer wings” and “The goosepel truth.”
    • *gus* → *goose*: gooseto (gusto), gooset (gusset), gooset (gust), fungoose (fungus), bogoose (bogus), oesophagoose (oesophagus), asparagoose (asparagus), Augooset (August), disgooset (disgust) and disgooseting (disgusting).
  • Birth: Since eggs are literally to do with birth and are used to symbolise birth and re-birth in cultural celebrations, we’ve included some birth-related puns here too:
    • Berth → Birth: As in, “Give them a wide birth.” Note: berth in this context means room or space to move.
    • Earth → Birth: As in, “Journey to the centre of the birth” and “Brought down to birth” and “Cost the birth” and “Down to birth” and “Birth mother” and “Birthly delights” and “Birthly paradise” and “From the ends of the birth” and “Hell on birth” and “A scorched birth policy.”
    • Perth → Birth: (Note: Perth is the capital of Western Australia.)
    • Bath* → Birth*: Birthroom (bathroom), birthtub (bathtub), birthers (bathers), sabbirth (sabbath) and bloodbirth (bloodbath).
    • *beth* → *birth*: Birthlehem (Bethlehem) and Elizabirth (Elizabeth).
    • Bother* → Birther*: As in, “It’s not a birther” and “How birthersome” and “Hot and birthered” and “Stop birthering me.”
  • Roe: We aren’t just looking at chicken’s eggs in this list! Roe is popularly eaten as a delicacy, and since they’re fish eggs we’ve included them in this list.
    • Row → Roe: As in, “Front roe seats.”
    • Rue → Roe: As in, “You’ll roe the day!”
    • Throw → Roe: As in, “Roe away the key” and “A stone’s roe away” and “Roe another log on the dire” and “Roe a fit” and “Roe caution to the winds” and “Roe cold water on” and “Roe it back in their face” and “Roe the towel in” and “Roe up” and “Roe your weight around” and “Roe your hat into the ring” and “Roe a bone to.”
    • Toe → Roe: As in, “Dip your roe in the water” and “From top to roe” and “Head to roe” and “Make their roes curl” and “Roe the line” and “Twinkle roes.”
    • Rose → Roe-s: As in, “Come up smelling of roe-ses” and “Bed of roe-ses” and “Every roe-s has its thorn” and “Roe-s tinted glasses” and “Stop and smell the roe-ses.”
    • Rhe* → Roe*: roetoric (rhetoric), roetorical (rhetorical) and roematism (rheumatism).
    • Rho* → Roe*: roembus (rhombus) and roedodendron (rhododendron). Note: a rhododendron is a type of flower.
    • *roa* → *roe*: As in, “Hit the roed” and “On the roed” and “Middle of the roed” and “Roest me” and “Hear me roer (roar)” and “Approech carefully” and “A proe-active worker.” Other words that could work: reproech (reproach), broech (broach), throet (throat).
    • Rou* → Roe*: As in, “All year roe‘nd” and “Going roe‘nd in circles” and “Gather roe‘nd” and “Makes the world go roe‘nd” and “Rally roe‘nd” and “A roe‘ndabout way” and “Just a roe‘tine check” and “A roe‘gh adventure.”
    • *raw → *roe: As in, “It’s a droe” and “Withdroe from the race” and “The final stroe” and “A roe deal” and “Back to the droe-ing board” and “Droe the line” and “The luck of the droe.”
    • *rew* → *roe*: As in, “Little to no roeward” and “Needs a roewrite” and “A roewarding position” and “Scroe it” and “Skeleton croe” and “Written in Hebroe.”
    • *row* → *roe*: As in, “As if there’s no tomorroe” and “Here today, gone tomorroe” and “Drowning in sorroe” and “A narroe escape” and “Groe-ing up.” Other words that could work: roedy (rowdy), throe (throw), croe (crow), burroe (burrow) and proe-ess (prowess).
    • Re* → Roe*: As in, “For future roeference” and “Not a roelevant point” and “Requires further roesearch” and “Steely roesolve” and “Made roedundant” and “Graphic roendering.”
    • *ro* → *roe*: As in, “Going proe” and “Acting like a heroe” and “Build yourself up from zeroe” and “Microe loans” and “Throe the ball!” Other words you could use: Camaroe (a Camaro is a type of car), maestroe, euroe, syndroeme (syndrome), troepe (trope), troell (troll), roell (roll), stroeke (stroke), oxymoroen (oxymoron), thoroegh (thorough) and stroell (stroll).
    • *rus* → *roes*: thesauroes (thesaurus), proedent (prudent) and accroe (accrue).
  • Easter: Since some people might be after eggs of the chocolatey Easter variety, we’ve included Easter puns in here too:
    • Easter: As in, “Easter Island,” and “Easter parade,” and “The Easter bunny.”
    • East/Eastern → Easter: As in, “Easter of Eden,” and “Full of Easter promise.”
    • *east → *easter: As in, “At the very l-easter,” and “A f-easter for the eyes,” and “F-easter or famine,” and “The king of b-easters,” and “Last but not l-easter,” and “Nutritional y-easter is a good cheese substitute.”
  • Ail → Quail: Since quail eggs are eaten as well (more commonly in Asian countries), we’ve got them in this list too: “What quails you?”

The following puns are specific to characters and celebrity names:

  • Yoko Ono → Yolko Ono
  • Edward Scissorhands → Eggward Scissorhands
  • Ed Sheeran → Egg Sheeran
  • Benedict Cumberbatch → Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch
  • Liam Hemsworth → Liam Hensworth
  • Michelle Obama → Mi-shell Obama
  • Megan Fox → Meggan Fox
  • Charles Dickens → Charles Chickens

Note: if you’d like further information about the egg industry or avoiding eggs in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Egg-Related Words

To help you come up with your own egg puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: egg, shell, yolk, white, crack, fry, fried, boil, poach, scrambled, hard-boiled, omelette, devilled, pickled, scotch, benedict, florentine, beat, sunny, over easy, hatch, laid, free range, cage, hen, battery, chicken, duck, goose, easter, rotten, whisk, frittata, quiche, farm, fowl, nest, zygote, embryo, fertilised, ovum, incubate, clutch, birth, roe, caviar, carton, cholesterol, fat, salmonella, quail, faberge

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Cooking Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cooking puns! 🍳🍴🍲 In this entry you’ll find everything from baking puns to oven puns to pots and pans puns, and everything in between.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food, cakepasta, pizza, curry, pie, and vegetables.

Cooking Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cooking that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Cook: Other than the obvious definition it can also refer to “altering dishonestly”, as in “They cooked the numbers and were done for fraud” (The phrases “cooked the books” and “cooked the accounts” are synonymous). Some cooking-related idioms and phrases are: “What’s cooking?” and “Too many cooks spoil the broth”
  • Cooked: “If mum and dad find out we took their car last night, we’re cooked!” and “He has been drinking since lunch time – he’s cooked.”
  • Kooky → Cooky: The term “kooky” means strange or eccentric.
  • Back → Bake: As in “Bake in my day…” and “As soon as my bake is turned” and “At the bake of my mind” and “Bake to the Future” and “Bake in business” and “Bake in the saddle” and “Bake seat driver” and “Bake to school” and “Bake to the drawing board” and “Behind your bake” and “Come crawling bake” and “Behind my bake” and “Double bake” and “Get bake on your feet” and “Bake to bake” and “Kick bake and enjoy” and “Like water off a duck’s bake” and “Laid bake” and “Money bake guarantee” and “Never look bake” and “One step forward, two steps bake” and “Right bake at ya” and “Pat on the bake” and “Put your bake into it” and “Turn bake the clock” and “Wind at your bake” – There are many more baking puns like this to be made, but those should be enough to get you started.
  • Half-baked: This means “not completely planned or thought out”. For example: “Your half-baked cooking puns are going to make people angry.”
  • Break → Bake: As in “Bake out into a cold sweat” and “Bake the bank” and “Bake new ground” and “Ground-baking new research” and “Bake the mould” and “Make a clean bake” and “An even bake” and “And then all hell bakes loose” and “Bake a world record” and “Baking news!” and “Never bake your promises” and “Don’t bake their heart” and “Oh give me a bake.” and “Lucky bake“.
  • Chef: The saying “Too many chefs in the kitchen” refers to a situation where there are too many people trying to work on something such that the result is worse than if there had been less people. The phrase “chef d’oeuvre” (French: “chief work”) refers to a masterpiece, or an artist’s best piece of work. The phrase “chef de mission” (French: “chief of mission”) generally refers to the person in charge of a national team at an international sporting event.
  • Order: As in “Law and order” and “Luckily we managed to get out of there in short order (fast)” and “The pecking order” and “The machine is out of order.” and “In working order” and “In order to do that …” and “You’re out of order” and “That’s a tall order” and “You need to put your affairs in order” and “It’s a standing order, Sargent.” and “That’s bang out of order.” and “Gag order” and “It’s an order of magnitude bigger than we expected.” and “Order in the court!”
  • Boil: As in “It really just boils down to …” and “That man makes my blood boil” and “A watched pot never boils“.
  • Boil → Boyle: As in “Susan Boil” and “Robert Boil
  • Boy’ll (Boy will) → Boil: As in “That young boil go on to do great things if he can apply himself.”
  • Roast: A “roast” can refer to an event where a guest of honour is teased and made fun of (in good spirit). The saying “roast snow in a furnace” refers to a futile and often ridiculous task.
  • Rest → Roast: As in “No roast for the wicked” and “Roast assured that …” and “Roast on your laurels” and “And the roast is history” and “Oh give it a roast will you?” and “A cut above the roast” and “I roast my case”. Note: to rest on your laurels is to be so satisfied with your work that no further efforts are made.
  • Arrest → A roast: As in “You are under a roast.” and “He was charged with resisting a roast.” and “Citizen’s a roast.”
  • *rest → *roast: As in, “In the interoast of justice,” and “Make it interoasting,” and “Nearoast and dearoast,” and “Mud wroastling,” and “On the croast of a wave,” and “Imitation is the sinceroast form of flattery,” and “May you live in interoasting times.”
  • *rust* → *roast*: As in, “Roastle (rustle) up,” and “Upper croast (crust),” and “Don’t troast (trust) anyone,” and “Troast is a two-way street.”
  • Girl → Grill: As in “You go grill!” and “Boys and grills
  • Gorilla → Grilla: As in “The silverback grilla is native to this area.”
  • Guerrilla → Grilla: As in “The inhabitants used grilla warfare to drive out the enemy.”
  • Thrilled → Grilled: As in, “Grilled to bits!” and “We’re grilled to have you here.”
  • Bill → Grill: As in, “These are my grillable hours” and “A clean grill of health.”
  • Filled → Grilled: As in, “Grilled with happiness” and “Cream-grilled” and “A smoke-grilled room.”
  • Even → Oven: As in “Don’t get mad, get oven” and “Break oven” and “Oven handed” and “Keep on an oven keel” and “Oven at the turning of the tide” and “Oven as we speak” and “Oven if it kills me” and “Oven Stevens”. Note: to keep something on an even keel is to keep something in a steady, untroubled state.
  • *even* → *-oven-*: If a word contains “even”, it can usually be made into a silly oven pun: “It’s the main ovent (event)” and “The ovent horizon” and “It has been an oventful (eventful) day.” and “I’ll oventually get around to cleaning my garage.” and “My job has pr-oven-ted me from spending time on personal projects.” and “Pr-oven-tative medicine should be the focus.” and “Rovenge is sweet.” and “The developing world is still struggling with proventable diseases.”
  • *aven* → *oven*: As in, “Let’s look at other ovenues” and “Ovenge my death!” and “The Ovengers.”
  • *even* → *oven*: As in, “The main ovent” and “Yes, oventually” and “An ovening out” and “Your oventual downfall” and “Spread ovenly” and “Seven Eloven” and “It’s looking unoven.”
  • Kitten → Kitchen: As in “The internet is full of cute kitchen pictures.”
  • My crow wave → Microwave: As in “Microwave at me with its wing.”
  • Push → Poach: As in “Don’t poach your luck” and “Poach the boundaries” and “When poach comes to shove” and “Poach the envelope” and “They’re a bit of a poach-over“.
  • Branch → Blanch: As in “Our company needs to blanch out into other industries.” Note: blanching is a method of cooking where food is scalded with boiling water, then plunged into iced water to stop the cooking process.
  • Summer → Simmer: As in “The long, hot simmer.” and “One swallow does not make a simmer.” and “An Indian simmer“.
  • Skill at → Skillet: As in “I admire your skillet chess.”
  • Skilled → Skillet: As in “She was perhaps the most skillet chess player in her country.”
  • Pot: There are many idioms related to pots: “In the melting pot” and “Oh you fuss pot” and “Take a pot shot at (something)” and “Keep the pot boiling” and “Pot head” and “Pot luck” and “A pot of gold” and “A watched pot never boils” and “The pot is calling the kettle black”.
  • *pot*: If a word contains the “pot” sound (or similar) we can make a silly pot pun with it: poticular (particular), spotlight, jackpot, potentially, anticipotory, despotism, incompotability, omnipotent, perpotrators, nepotism, incompotent, meopotamia, potassium, repotition, potato.
  • Pan: “Flash in the pan” and “It panned out all right in the end.” and “Peter Pan” and “Pan in/out”
  • *pan*: If a word contains the “pan” sound (or similar) we can make a silly pan pun with it: chimpanzee, companion, expand, expansion, Japan, lifespan, panacea, pancreas, pandora, panic, panorama, pansiespanting, panther, spaniard, underpants.
  • You ten sil* → Utensil: This is a very specific type of cooking pun – “I’ll give utentsil-ver coins for your wagon.” and “I’ll give utensil-k garments for your horse.” You can obviously do this for other words that start with the “sil” sound like: cylinder, syllabus, silverware, silhouette, silicon, etc.
  • Burn: “Burn the candle at both ends” and “Burn a hole in your pocket” and “Burn your bridges” and “Crash and burn” and “Feel the burn” and “Slow burn” and “Burn yourself out” and “Energy to burn
  • Brother: As in, “Everybody and his brother,” and “Have you met my brother?” and “Big brother is watching you.”
  • Rise → Rice: As in “Rice to the challenge/occasion” and “Rice and shine” and “Rice from the ashes” and “The rice and fall of …”
  • Hate → Heat: As in “I heat to say it, but …” and “Heaters gonna heat.” and “I’ve got a love-heat relationship with cooking.”
  • Heat: “He’s packing heat” and “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” and “In the heat of the moment” and “The heat is on.”
  • Heed → Heat: As in “You’s better pay heat to your mother! She knows what she is talking about.”
  • Fire: As in “You’re fired.” and “In the line of fire” and “Don’t play with fire” and “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
  • Steam: “Blow off some steam” and “Build up a head of steam” and “Full steam ahead” and “Run out of steam” and “Under one’s own steam” and “Pick up steam“.
  • Seem → Steam: As in “It’s not as bad as it steams” and “I can’t steam to …” and “things are seldom as they steam” and “That steams a bit out of place”.
  • Esteem → Esteam: As in “Self esteam” and “She was esteamed by her peers”.
  • Seam → Steam: As in, “Bulging at the steams” and “Come apart at the steams.”
  • Scheme → Steam: As in, “In the grand steam of things” and “Pyramid steam” and “The best laid steams” and “The overall steam of things.”
  • Scream → Steam: As in, “Dragged kicking and steaming” and “We all steam for ice-cream” and “Steam bloody murder” and “Steam your head off.”
  • Stream → Steam: As in, “Fresh as a mountain steam” and “Changing midsteam” and “Swim upsteam.”
  • Team → Steam: As in, “Dream steam” amd Take one for the steam” and “A steam player” and “Steam spirit” and “Tag steam” and “Steam up with” and “There’s no ‘i’ in steam.”
  • Teem → Steam: As in, “Steaming down with rain” and “Steaming with life.”
  • *stam* → *steam*: We can sneak “steam” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “A testeament to” and “Rushed by the crowded steampede.”
  • *stem* → *steam*: As in, “All systeams go!” and Get it out of your systeam” and “Solar systeam” and “Buck the systeam” and “Self-sustaining ecosysteam” and “Racism is a systeamic problem.” Note: if something is systemic, then it affects the entire involved group, body or system.
  • *stim* → *steam*: As in, “Steamulate your senses” and “Being oversteamulated” and “A mentally steamulating environment” and “By my esteamates” and “Valuable testeamony” and “Don’t underesteamate yourself” and “Company testeamonials.”
  • Nuke: This term is often used to refer to cooking/heating something in the microwave, but it is also (obviously) short for nuclear bomb. Perhaps there is some context where this double meaning may be viable as a cooking pun.
  • Continent → Condiment: As in “The shifting of the condimental plates happens very slowly.” and “Originally, all the condiments were part of one supercondiment called Pangaea.” and “Condimental breakfast” and “The condimental shelf”
  • Embroiled: To “broil” something means to cook it via exposure to direct intense radiant heat. The term “embroiled” means to be involved deeply in an argument, conflict or difficult situation.
  • I’ll → Oil: As in, “Well, oil be” and “Oil say!” and “Ask me no questions, oil tell you no lies” and “Oil be back” and “Oil never tell” and “You scratch my back and oil scratch yours.”
  • Aisle → Oil: As in, “Walk down the oil” and “Cleanup on oil three.”
  • All → Oil: As in “Can’t we oil just get along?” and “Oil in a day’s work.” and “Oil part of life’s rich tapestry” and “It’s oil Greek to me.” and “It’s oil downhill form here” and “It’s oil fun and games until someone gets hurt” and “It’s oil gone pear shaped” and “It’s oil good” and “It’s oil good clean fun” and “It’s oil me me me” and “That’s oil well and good, but …” and “Oil kidding aside, …” and “Above oil, …” and “Against oil odds” and “Oil shapes and sizes” and “Oil that glitters is not gold” and “Oil the rage” and “Oil the world’s a stage” and “Oil things being equal” and “Oil thumbs” and “Oil’s well that ends well” and “At oil costs” and “By oil appearances” and “By oil accounts” and “Cover oil your bases” and “From oil corners of the globe” and “I haven’t got oil day” and “In oil honesty” and “In oil likelihood” and “It’s oil the same to me” and “Jack of oil trades” and “I don’t know oil the answers” and “Not oil it’s cracked up to be” and “He’s not oil there” and “Once and for oil” and “Don’t put oil your eggs in one basket” – And there are many more oil puns that can be made along these lines.
  • *oil*: Words which contain the “oil” sound (or similar) can be silly oil puns: spoiled, spoils, soiled, turmoil, toiletries, gargoil (gargoyle), foil, recoil.
  • Recipe: “That’s a recipe for disaster.” and “A recipe for success”.
  • Ingredient: As in “What’s your secret ingredient?”
  • Pep her → Pepper: As in “We need to pepper up with some music before her big race.”
  • Cake: As in “That’s the icing on the cake” and “It’ll be a cake walk” and “That takes the cake” and “It’ll be a piece of cake.” and “Shut your cake hole”.
  • Oven: “A bun in the oven“.
  • Often → Oven: As in “Do you come here oven?” and “Every so oven.”
  • Stuff→ Stove: As in “Don’t sweat the small stove.” and “It’s the stove of legends/dreams.”
  • Walk → Wok: As in “I’ll be back soon, I’m going to wok the dog.” and “It’ll be a wok in the park.” and “You’re woking on thin ice there, bud.”
  • Work → Wok: As in “Wok hard, play hard.” and “It’s a wok in progress.” and “All in a day’s wok.”
  • Fly → Fry: As in “A no-fry zone has been declared by the military.” and “Just a fry on the wall.”
  • Fry: There are a couple of frying-related idioms: “Small fry” and “Bigger fish to fry
  • Cry → Fry: As in “Don’t fry over spilt milk” and “A shoulder to fry on” and “Fry like a baby” and “A far fry from …” and “Fry fowl” and “Battle fry
  • Fried: As in “My brain is fried” and “I’m fried.”
  • Stew: As in “Now, now, don’t get in a in a stew.” and “Stew in your own juices”
  • *stew*: Words that contain the “stew” sound can be silly stew puns: stewpendous, stewardship, stewpid, stewdious, stewpor, stewpidity, costewme, stewdio, astewte, stewdent.
  • It’s too → s’tew: As in “S’tew bad the shoes don’t fit you.”
  • Bruise → Braise: As in “That’ll leave a braise…”
  • Breeze → Braise: As in “I’m fully prepared. The test will be a braise.”
  • Barbell → Parboil: This one’s very silly.
  • Parable →Parboil: As in “The Parboil of the Good Samaritan”.
  • Poor boy’ll → Parboil: As in “The parboil need some bandages for his knee.”
  • Serve: “You got served!” and “If memory serves” and “First come, first served” and “Revenge is a dish best served cold” and “Serve a purpose” and “Serves them right” and “Serve time” and “Serve and protect”
  • Timer: “Old-timer” and “Two-timer“.
  • Season: As in “’tis the season” and “In season” and “Out of season“.
  • Rest our aunt / Rest or rant → Restaurant: These are very specific cooking puns. Good luck finding a context in which they work!
  • Crackpot → Crock pot: A “crackpot” is a crazy person and a “crock pot” is a large, electric slow-cooking pot: “He’s a bit of a crock pot, that one.”
  • Sup → Soup: As in “Soup man, how’s it going?”
  • Sue p* → Soup*: As in “You can’t just soupeople willy nilly.”
  • *sup* → *soup*: If a word contains the “soup” sound we can of course make some silly soup puns: souperb, soupercomputer, soupercilious, souperficial, souperfluous, souperhuman, souperimposed, souperintendent, souperior, souperman, soupernatual, soupersonic, soupervise, soupremely, unsoupervised.
  • Dish: As in”Revenge is a dish best served cold” and “You can dish it out, but you can’t take it” and “Dish the dirt” and “The dish ran away with the spoon”
  • Hot: “All hot and bothered” and “Hot potato” and “Get into hot water” and “Hot and heavy” and “Hot on your heels” and “Hot pursuit” and “Hot-tempered” and “Hot under the collar” and “Hot topic” and “Strike while the iron is hot” and “Hot stuff” and “Full of hot air” and “Hot-wire a car”.
  • Groovy → Gravy: As in “That’s a gravy, smooth-sounding new funk album she has released.”
  • Grease: “Grease the wheels” and “Grease your palm” and “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” and “Grease monkey” and “Elbow grease“.
  • Greece → Greece: As in “The food in Grease is so good.”
  • Grace → Grease: As in “By the grease of god” and “A grease period” and “Saving grease” and “Fall from grease” and “Airs and greases” and “There but for the grease of god go I.” and “Amazing grease“.
  • Grass→ Grease: As in “You could hear the grease growing” and “Keep off the grease” and “A grease-roots movement.” Note: a grassroots movement is one that starts at a local level with the intention of affecting regional, national or international change.
  • Bank etiquette → Banquet-iquette: As in “Waiting patiently in line at the bank is just a part of good banquet-iquette.”
  • Male → Meal: As in “The meal of the species” and “Meal chauvinist pig”.
  • Super → Supper: As in “Supper man” and “Supper-duper”.
  • Buff eh? → Buffet: As in “Look at how much she’s bench pressing! Buffet?”
  • Down → Dine: As in “Never back dine” and “Dine the rabbit hole” and “It all boils dine to …” and “Boogie on dine” and “Bring the house dine” and “Calm dine” and “Dine for the count” and “Dine in the dumps” and “Dine the hatch” and “Dine to earth” and “Hold dine a job” and “It went dine the wrong way” and “Let your hair dine” and “The best – hands dine“.
  • Guessed → Guest: As in “I never would have guest.”
  • Chop: “On the chopping block” and “Chop and change”.
  • Dice: As well as the noun form (“she rolled the dice”), “dice” obviously can mean “chop into small cubes/pieces”.
  • Feel → Peel: As in “You can peel it in your bones.” and “I like the look and peel of the product.” and “I’m trying to get the peel for it.” and “These potato puns are making me peel unwell.” and “I peel a bit put out.” and “I’m peeling my age.” and “Peel the burn”.
  • Appeal → Appeel / A peel: “He’s so appeeling!” and “The court allowed one final a peel.” and “You need to a peel to their sense of honour.” and “I’m trying to appeel to your better judgement” and “They have 48 hours to appeel the decision.”
  • Pillar → Peeler: As in “You are a peeler of strength in our community.”
  • Whisk: “He was quickly whisked off stage” and “The waiter whisked the dish back into the kitchen”.
  • Risk → Whisk: As in “It’s too dangerous. Don’t whisk it. ” and “At your own whisk” and “Calculated whisk” and “You run the whisk of …” and “Whisk life and limb”
  • Curry: “Curry favour” and “Give someone a bit of curry“. Note: to curry favour is to attempt to align oneself with another.
  • Hurry → Curry: As in “I’m in a bit of a curry, can we talk later?” and “Curry up! We need to leave now!” and “Curry up and wait”.
  • Thongs → Tongs: The word “thong” may refer to bikini bottoms or to “flip-flops” depending on where you’re from. The term “tongs” refers to a kitchen tool used to grip and lift things (usually things that you’re frying).
  • Spoon: “We spooned to keep warm” and “She wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth” and “He spoon-feeds his students too much”.
  • Billion → Bouillion: As in “They justly spend bouillions of dollars on the new education reforms.” (Bouillion is a type of broth in French cuisine).
  • Feast: As in, “Bean-feast,” and “Feast your eyes on this,” and “Midnight feast,” and “A feast for the eyes.” Note: A bean-feast is a celebratory meal or party.
  • Fast* → Feast*: As in, “Feast as greased lightning,” and “As feast as his legs could go,” and “Bed and breakfeast,” and “Feast and furious,” and “In the feast lane,” and “Feaster than a speeding bullet,” and “Not so feast!” and “Pull a feast one,” and “Lightning feast.” Note: in the fast lane refers to a highly active and risky lifestyle.
  • Fest* → Feast*: As in, “No problem is so bad it can’t feaster awhile longer,” and “Going to the music feastival?”
  • Feasible → Feast-ible: As in, “I told you, that project isn’t feast-ible.” Note: if something isn’t feasible, then it isn’t possible or practical to achieve.
  • Fist → Feast: As in “I’ll rule with an iron feast.”
  • Serve: As in “Dude, you just got served.” and “My duty is to serve and protect.”
  • Menu: As in “That’s completely off the menu.”
  • Man, you → Menu: As in “Menu need to see someone about that.”
  • Flies → Fries: As in “Time fries when you’re having fun!”
  • Fork: As in “We’ve reached a fork in the road.” (There’s also an obvious swear word pun that can be made with fork.)
  • Season → Seasoning: As in “Seasoning’s greetings!” and “For everything, there is a seasoning.”
  • Take out→ Take-out: As in “I had to take-out my phone to check the time.” and “I had to take-out a loan just to pay the bill!”
  • Toast: As well as referring to cooked bread, this term can also refer to the raising of glasses at a gathering to honour something: “Let’s call a toast.” It also has a slang usage: “You are toast.” Meaning “I’m going to beat you” at some competition (or physically).
  • Coarse → Course: As in “Please don’t pun during dinner, Gerald. It’s very course humour.”
  • Course: As in “Is there a university course on cooking puns?” (“Course” can refers to a particular stage of a multi-stage meal.)
  • Thrilled → Grilled: As in “He was so grilled to see you!” and “I’m grilled to bits!”
  • Creep → Crepe: As in “That’s a bit crepey, man.” and “Yep, he’s a bit of a crepe.”
  • Source → Sauce: As in “That’s an unreliable sauce.” and “You should cite some primary sauces.”
  • Great → Grate: As in “Oh grate! Another food pun.” and “Grate minds think alike.”
  • Branch → Brunch: As in “Shall we call a truce? I’m extending an olive brunch here.” and “We’re brunching out into other industries.”
  • Loaf: As in “Stop loafing around! Get up and do something!” (To “loaf” is to waste time and laze about).
  • Come → Crumb: As in “Crumb to think of it…” and “Crumb to your senses” and “Crumb again?” and “Crumb hell or high water.” and “Crumb out of your shell” and “Crumb rain or shine” and “Do you crumb here often?” and “An idea whose time has crumb.” and “The best is yet to crumb.” and “What has crumb over you?”
  • Feed: As in “You’re just feeding people misinformation.”
  • Order: “Law and order.” and “These restaurant puns are out of order.”
  • In jest → Ingest: As in “Many a true word is spoken ingest.”
  • Done → Dine: As in “When all is said and dine” and “Dine and dusted.”
  • Din* → Dine*: If a word begins with the “dine” sound, we can make a dinner pun: dineosaur, dineamically, dineamite.
  • Sup: This term has a few traditional meaning related to food, including “to eat dinner/supper”, but it also has the obvious slang meaning “What’s up?” Thus we can make a sneaky supper pun, but it’d be very corny and heavily dependent on context: Person1: “‘Sup?” Person2: “What? Now? It’s only 3pm!”
  • Scoff: This term refers to eating greedily or to talking to someone in a mean and “mocking” manner. Example: “Are you scoffing at my cooking puns?”
  • Sue p* → Soup*: As in “You can’t just soupeople willy nilly.”
  • *sup* → *soup*: If a word contains the “soup” sound we can of course make some silly soup puns: souperb, soupercomputer, soupercilious, souperficial, souperfluous, souperhuman, souperimposed, souperintendent, souperior, souperman, soupernatual, soupersonic, soupervise, soupremely, unsoupervised.
  • Greedy ent* → ‘gredient: This one’s a bit of a stretch! Examples: “Those ‘gredient-erprising bastards!” and “The ‘gredient-titled youngers.”
  • Salty: Other than the obvious cooking-related definition, this term has several slang definitions including “being upset/angry”.
  • Assault → A salt: As in “He was charged with a salt with a deadly weapon.”
  • It → Eat: As in “Eat is not quite as eat seems.” and “Eat’s not the first time I’ve said this, but …”
  • *eat*: Any word that contains the “eat” sound (or similar) can obviously be made into a silly eating pun: cheating, beatle, athleat, aneatime (anytime), compleat, conceated, deceatful, deleat, discreat, eleat (elite), graffeati, fleat (fleet),  featus, heartbeat, Eatalian (Italian), greating (greeting), Peater (Peter), preatending, repeatedly, reatirement, streat, sweatheart, preatentious.
  • Eat: As in, “A bite to eat,” and “All you can eat,” and “Bet you can’t just eat one,” and “Eat a balanced diet,” and “Eat and run,” and “Eat dirt,” and “Eat humble pie,” and “Eat like a bird,” and “Eat my dust,” and “Eat someone alive,” and “Eat to live, rather than live to eat,” and “Eat your words,” and “Eaten up with jealousy,” and “Eating for two,” and “Good enough to eat,” and “Let them eat cake,” and “Man eater,” and “I’ll eat my hat.” Note: to eat your words is to regret or retract a previous statement.
  • *eet* → *eat*: Change the “eet” in certain words to “eat” – sheat (sheet), streat (street), sweat (sweet), discreat (discreet), feat (feet), fleat (fleet), sleat (sleet), beatle (beetle), teath (teeth).
  • *eat*: Use words with an “eat” sound – athl-eat (athlete), burreato, compl-eat (complete), comp-eat (compete), concr-eat (concrete), el-eat (elite), eat-ernal (eternal), incogneato, margareata, mosqeato (mosquito), pet-eat (petite).
  • Feed: As in, “Bite the hand that feeds you,” and “Bottom feeder,” and “Feed your mind,” and “Feeding frenzy.”
  • Bowl: As in “I was completely bowled over.”
  • Stew: This term can also refer to being in a state of anxiety and agitation. As in “Stew in one’s own juices.” and “I was in a bit of a stew.”
  • Carry → Curry: As in “I’m going as fast as my legs can curry me!” and “Keep calm and curry on.”
  • Even → Oven: As in “Oven my little brother knows that!” and “That’s not oven fair.”
  • Piece of → Pizza: As in “You want a pizza me?” and “That’s a pizza cake.” and “They all want a pizza the action.” and “That’s a fine pizza ass.” and “That’s a pizza piss.” and “He’s a nasty pizza work.” and “How long is a pizza string?” and “I’ll give him a pizza my mind!” and “You’re a real pizza work.” and “Pizza the pie”.
  • How → Chow: As in “Chow could you do this to me?” and “Chow are you feeling?”
  • Pass the → Pasta: As in “Can you pasta sauce please?”
  • Past her → Pasta: As in “I walked right pasta without realising.”
  • Passed away → Pasta way: As in “She pasta way last night.”
  • Flower → Flour: As in “Remember to stop and smell the flours.”
  • Adore → Adough: “I adough you.”
  • Don’t → Doughn’t: As in “Doughn’t fall for it.”
  • Though → Dough: As in “You look as dough you’ve seen a ghost!”
  • Hour → Flour: As in “We could go on for flours.” and “The plane leaves in one flour.” and “I’m on a flourly wage.”
  • Make → Bake: As in “I can’t bake head or tail of it.” and “Enough to bake you sick.” and “Bake believe” and “It’ll bake a world of difference.” and “Just trying to bake ends meet.” and “Bake a name for yourself.”
  • Making → Baking: As in “A legend in the bakin’” and “This is history in the baking” and “You’re baking a fool of yourself.”
  • Floor → Flour: As in “A cooking pun battle? I’ll mop the flour with you.”
  • Heard → Herb: As in “I herb it on the grape vine.” and “You herb it here first.” and “You could have herb a pin drop.”
  • Curb → Herb: As in “Herb your enthusiasm.” and “Drive up onto the herb.”
  • Spies → Spice: As in “I think I’m being followed by Indian spice.”
  • A prawn → Apron
  • Nice → Knife: As in “Have you met the chef? She’s a knife person.”
  • Least→ Yeast: As in “Last, but not yeast.” and “Yeast common denominator.” and “It’s the yeast I could do.”
  • East→ Yeast: As in “I’m heading over yeast for a holiday.”

Cooking-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of cooking-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

chef, bake, boil, roast, grill, oven, fry, stew, braise, overcook, parboil, stove, stove-top, kitchen, microwave, poach, blanch, cook up, broil, simmer, cooker, cook, griddle, chargrill, skillet, stir fry, baste, caramelize, marinade, eat, pot, pan, utensil, burner, burn, undercook, broth, rice, pasta, heat, barbecue, bbq, fire, culinary, steam, nuke, zap, frypan, onions, potatoes, pressure cooker, condiment, oil, baker, bread, recipe, ingredients, brochette, salt, salty, pepper, sugar, cake, dough, beans, serve, serving, vegetables, range hood, timer, spatula, raw, pastry, seasoning, restaurant, crock pot, ratatouille, soup, food, dish, dishes, cookbook, hot plate, hot, sizzle, savory, dinner, saucepan, cuisine, basil, gravy, hibachi, brazier, oregano, garlic, rosemary, teflon, grease, drizzle, banquet, meal, supper, feast, buffet, dine, menu, table, guests, spaghetti, lasagna, knife, chop, dice, al dente, batter, beat, blend, dissolve, grate, peel, puree, whip, stir, sauté, whisk, bowl, mix, fork, anglaise, plate, bouillion, spoon, chiffonnade, feed, toast, chopping board, scoop, tongs, can opener, sieve, chop sticks, measuring cups, wok, sauce, herbs, spices, curry, crumb, crumbs, apron, oven mitt, platter, cutlery.

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