Milk Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on milk puns! 🥛🌱

Milk is loved both as a drink on its own, and as an addition to (or a base for) other drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and milkshakes. It’s also popular as a condiment of sorts, with many dipping chocolates or cookies (or biscuits, depending where you are in the world) in their milk.

Unfortunately, the industry that produces milk is not so wholesome – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of dairy-free milk options (sometimes called “mylk”) that we can enjoy instead.

Apart from the taste, a lot of people are convinced of the health benefits of milk, the main one being calcium. Not only does a glass of milk have less calcium than we might initially think (less than a bowl of spinach or kale), but our ability to digest and actually benefit from the calcium in milk is debatable. There are plenty of other foods that we can derive our daily calcium from.

Whether you’re here for a witty instagram caption, a quick one-liner for your tinder date or facebook argument, we hope that you find the milk pun that you need.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, cheese puns, ice cream puns and coffee puns, and have chocolate and cereal puns coming soon too!

Milk Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about milk that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of milk puns:

  • Utter → Udder: As in, “Udderly inconsiderate.”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Milk: These milk-related phrases are general enough to work as puns: “Mild as milk” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk” and “Land of milk and honey” and “Milk dry” and “Milk it for all it’s worth” and “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
  • Note: all of these milk puns could also work for “mylk”, which is the term for non-dairy milks (or mylks!)
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This was no cowincidence.”
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntry,  cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Mikayla → Milkayla
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.” Note: pasteurization is a sterilisation process.
  • Lack those → Lactose: As in, “I can’t drink milk as I lactose enzymes required to digest it.” Note: lactose is a sugar found in milk, which many people aren’t able to digest or tolerate.
  • Litre: In some countries, milk is sold in litres/liters, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Later → Litre: As in, “Buy now, pay litre” and “Catch you litre” and “It’s litre than you think” and “Sooner or litre” and “Can we continue this litre?”
    • Letter → Litre: As in, “Four litre word” and “Chain litre” and “Litre perfect” and “Litre to the editor” and “To the litre” and “I’ll send you a litre.”
    • Lighter → Litre: As in, “The litre way to enjoy chocolate” and “Feeling litre than air” and “Litre than a feather” and “Feeling litre than before.”
    • *liter* → *litre*: As in, “Yes, I meant that litreally” and “It’s all in the litreature” and “Don’t have to be so litreal about it” and “Litreacy rates across America.” Other words you could use: litreate (literate), oblitreate (obliterate) and illitreate (illiterate).
    • Collateral → Collitre-al: As in, “Collitre-al damage.”
    • *lete → *litre: As in, “You’ve made a complitre mess of it” and “That product is obsolitre” and “Deplitred (depleted) funds” and “Delitre the files” and “Built like an athlitre.” Other words that could work: replitre (replete), incomplitre (incomplete) and complitrely (completely).
  • Lait: “Lait” is French for milk, and is a common word in the coffee-drinking community (as in, “cafe au lait”). Here are a few silly puns that involve the word “lait”:
    • Late → Lait: Lait is actually pronounced without the “t” at the end, so this isn’t a perfect pun but it can still work quite well: “Better lait than never” and “Buy now, pay laiter” and “Fashionably lait” and “A day lait and a dollar short” and “It’s never too lait” and “A lait bloomer” and “Lait in the day/game” and “Running lait.”
    • Lay → Lait: As in, “Couldn’t lait a finger on” and “Lait a trap” and “Lait down roots” and “Lait eyes on” and “Lait down your arms.”
    • *lay* → *lait*: As in, “Let’s plait!” and “Could you relait the situation?” and “On full displait” and “Unforseen delaits (delays)” and “An ornate jade inlait” and “It’s okay to hate the plaiter (player) AND the game.” Other words: waylait (waylay) and slait (slay).
    • *ly → *lait: As in, “A familait (family) matter” and “A full assemblait (assembly)” and “Yes, probablait.” Other words that could work: arguablait (arguably), inevitablait (inevitably), presumablait (presumably), notablait (notably), possiblait (possibly), bubblait (bubbly), publiclait (publicly), friendlait (friendly), hardlait (hardly), badlait (badly) and kindlait (kindly).
  • Pint: Some countries still sell milk measured in pints, so we’ve included some pint-related puns here:
    • Point → Pint: As in, “At this pint in time” and “Beside the pint” and “Brownie pints” and “Drive your pint home” and “Get right to the pint” and “Jumping off pint” and “Not to put too fine a pint on it” and “I see your pint of view” and “Pint out” and “Pint the finger at” and “A talking pint” and “The sticking pint” and “Case in pint” and “The finer pints of” and “The pint of no return.”
    • Pants → Pints: As in, “Ants in their pints” and “Beat the pints off” and “By the seat of your pints” and “Fancy pints” and “Keep your pints on” and “Pints on fire” and “Smarty pints.”
    • Pent → Pint: As in, “Pint up rage.”
    • Pin → Pint: As in, “Bright/clean/neat as a new pint” and “Hard to pint down” and “Pint your ears back” and “Pint the tail on the donkey.”
    •  *pet* → *pint*: As in, “Don’t use that pintulant (petulant) tone with me” and “Perpintual motion machine” and “A compintent (competent) worker.” Other words: impintus (impetus), compintition (competition) and compintence (competence). Note: an impetus is something that compels or encourages you to do something.
    • *pant* → *pint*: As in, “Nothing in the pintry” and “Pinting with fear” and “Disease is rampint” and “A flippint attitude.” Other words that could work: pintomime (pantomime), participint (participant) and occupint (occupant).
    • *pent* → *pint*: As in, “Pinthouse suite” and “Repint for your sins!” Other words: serpint (serpent), pintagram (pentagram) and carpinter (carpenter).
    • Paint → Pint: As in, “A lick of pint” and “A picture pints a thousand words” and “As boring as watching pint dry” and “Body pinting” and “Do I have to pint you a picture?” and “Finger pinting” and “Pint the town red” and “Pinting by numbers.”
  • Skim: Skim milk is where all of the cream is removed from whole milk, and is very low in fat. Here are some skim milk puns:
    • Scam → Skim: As in, “Skim artist.”
    • Slim → Skim: As in, “Skim pickings” and “The real skim shady.”
    • Swim → Skim: As in, “Sink or skim” and “Going skimmingly” and “Skim against the tide” and “Skim with sharks” and “Skim upstream.”
    • Scum → Skim: This is a bit of a stretch but can still work, as in: “Pond skim” and “Skim always rises to the surface.”
  • Cream: Cream is the part of milk that determines the fat content, and “full cream” is another type of milk, so we’ve included cream puns here for you:
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
  • Whole: Whole milk is the term for milk that hasn’t had anything removed from it (like fat). Here are some wholly bad puns for you to use in reference to it:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Fire in the whole!” and “A whole in one” and “Whole in the wall” and “Wholed up” and “Picking wholes in.”
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “Please whole’d the line” and “A whole-istic healing approach” and “Whole-low inside” and “On wholeiday” and “A wholey (holy) offering” and “Beauty is in the eye of the bewholeder” and “Alcowhole content” and “Menth-whole flavoured” and “Crossing the thresh-whole‘d (threshold).”
  • Hi-Lo: Hi-lo (or HiLo) milk is reduced fat – so “high in calcium, low in fat.” Here are some related puns:
    • Hello → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo, big boy” and “You had me at hi-lo” and “Hi-lo hi-lo, what’s going on here then?”
    • Hollow → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo eyed” and “A hi-lo goodbye.”
  • Sour: Sour milk is a common enough phenomenon for us to include here:
    • *sar* → *sour*: As in, “A sourdonic (sardonic) reply” and “Sourcasm isn’t helpful” and “No need to be sourcastic” and “Caesour salad” and “That’s not necessoury” and “Wedding anniversoury” and “A strong adversoury” and “Read the glossoury.” Note: to be sardonic is to be mocking or cynical.
    • *ser* → *sour*: As in, “At your sourvice” and “A sourious conversation” and “Filled with peace and sourenity” and “Close your browsour tabs” and “Brings us closour together” and “Teasour trailer.”
    • *sor* → *sour*: As in, “Filled with sourrow” and “What sourcery is this!” and “I’m sourry” and “I don’t need the sourdid details” and “Trip advisour” and “University professour.” Other words that could work: sponsour (sponsor), supervisour (supervisor), processour (processor), censour (censor) and consourtium (consortium). Note: a consortium is business partnership, or an association between institutions.
    • *sur* → *sour*: As in, “A quick sourvey” and “A sourreal situation” and “As far as I can sourmise” and “On the sourface” and “Recovering from sourgery” and “Sourrogate mother” and “What a sourprise.”
  • Farm: Since milk is from farms, we’ve got some farm-related puns here. We’d also like to note that while happy cows being milked by hand on a friendly farm is a nice idea, that is not how farms (even free-range ones) operate.
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Farmly planted” and “A farm tone of voice.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “Defence is the best farm of offence” and “Bad farm” and “Farm follows function” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “In fine farm” and “The lowest farm of wit” and “Not in any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm.”
    • From → Farm: As in, “A little farm column a, a little farm column b” and “A week farm next Tuesday” and “Farm a nice place” and “Come in farm the cold” and “Cut farm the same cloth” and “Fall farm grace” and “Farm a mile away” and “Farm a to z” and “Farm cover to cover” and “You’ll have to pry it farm my cold, dead hands” and “Farm soup to nuts” and “With love, farm…”
    • Charm → Farm: As in, “Farm the birds out of the trees” and “A farmed life” and “Southern farm” and “Third time’s a farm” and “Works like a farm.”
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “Friends and farmily” and “Seems farmiliar” and “Almost farmous” and “40 hour farmine” and “I’m farmished!” Other words: infarmy (infamy), infarmous (infamous) and defarmation (defamation). Note: infamy is a reputation (or fame) or evil.
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul.”
    • Infomercial → Infarmercial
    • *form* → *farm*: farmidable (formidable), farmula (formula), farmer (former), farmat (format), farmal (formal), farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), confarm (conform), infarm (inform), platfarm (platform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • Pharmacy → Farmacy
  • Spoil: If milk is off/expired, it’s referred to as spoiled, so here are some related puns:
    • Boil → Spoil: As in, “Spoiling with rage” and “It all spoils down to” and “Bring to the spoil” and “A watched pot never spoils” and “Spoil over.”
    • Spell → Spoil: As in, “How do you spoil…” and “You’ll have to spoil it out” and “Be under [someone’s] spoil” and “Break the spoil.”
    • Spill → Spoil: As in, “Spoil the beans” and “Spoil your guts” and “Thrills and spoils.”
    • Gospel → Gospoil: As in, “The gospoil truth.”
  • Choc: We all love choc milk, so it’s earned a place in this list. Choc milk is so popular that you may get away with using just the word “choc” as a reference to milk (here’s a nice chocolate milk recipe for you to try as well):
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Shake: Since milkshakes are such a popular milk drink, you may get away with using “shake” to refer to “milkshakes” in your wordplay:
    • Shock → Shake: As in, “Culture shake” and “In for a shake” and “In shake” and “Shell-shaked” and “Shake and awe.”
    • Ache → Shake: As in, “Old shakes and pains” and “Splitting headshake.”
    • Sake → Shake: As in, “For heaven’s/goodness shake” and “For old time’s shake.”
  • Kefir: Kefir is a fairly recent probiotic, milk-based drink. Here are some related puns:
    • Key for → Kefir: “This is the kefir the back door.”
    • Keep her → Kefir: “Being able to draw helps kefir spirits up.”
  • Soy milk: Soy milk is perhaps the most widespread (and cheap) non-dairy milk available and comes in different flavours. Here are some related puns:
      • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
      • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”
      • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
      • Thesaurus → Thesoyrus
      • *so* → *soy*: espressoy (espresso), virtuosoy (virtuoso), esoyteric (esoteric), philosoyphy (philosophy), resoylution (resolution), soylution (solution), soyphisticated (sophisticated) and soydium (sodium).
  • Almond milk: As almond milk is another popular type of milk, we’ve got some almond puns here too (and here’s a popular almond milk brand):
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Rice milk: Another readily available dairy-free milk option which we’ve included a few puns for here:
    • Raise → Rice: As in, “Rice a stink” and “Rice hell” and “Rice the bar” and “Rice the roof.”
    • Race → Rice: As in, “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rice to the bottom” and “Rat rice.”
  • Owed → Oat: As in, “Give me what I am oat!” Note: this is a reference to oat milk.
  • Contents → Condensed: As in, “Let me check the condensed” and “Have you read the condensed section?” and “Home and condensed insurance.” Note: this is a reference to condensed milk.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in milk and dairy products.
  • Curdle: If milk is really off, it can curdle. Here are some terrible and related puns:
    • Hurdle → Curdle: “Fall at the last curdle” and “Clearing all the curdles.”
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
  • Breast: Well, this is where milk comes from, so it seemed wrong to not include breast puns (keep ’em respectful) here too:
    • Best → Breast: As in, “All the breast” and “Be the breast” and “Breast friends forever” and “Breast in show” and “Breast of all” and “Breast practice” and “Bring out the breast in me” and “Doing what we do breast” and “Honesty is the breast policy” and “Hope for the breast” and “Living well is the breast revenge” and “Nothing but the breast” and “On your breast behaviour.”
    • Pressed → Breast: As in, “Breast for time/money.”
    • *best* → *breast*: As in, “The greatest honour I could breastow” and “Breastselling novel.”
    • *pressed* → *breast*: As in, “Deeply imbreast (impressed)” and “Subbreast (suppressed) feelings” and “I exbreast (expressed) my emotions to her” and “An unimbreast (unimpressed) tone.”
    • Prestige → Breastige
  • Memory → Mammary: As in, “Down mammary lane” and “In living mammary” and “Mammary lapse” and “Mammary like a sieve” and “Thanks for the mammaries.” Note: mammaries are the milk-secreting organs in breasts.

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Milk-Related Words

To help you come up with your own milk puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

milk, cow, udder, dairy, litre, pint, skim, full, cream, full cream, whole, hi-lo, lowfat, pasteurised, homogenised, UHT, lactose, farm, chocolate, strawberry, banana, milkshake, kefir, soy, almond, coconut, hazelnut, macadamia, rice, oat, leche, lait, rotten, spoiled, expired, lactate, evaporated, condensed, sour, mylk, goat, sheep, yak, buffalo, curdled, casein, breast

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Egg Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on egg puns! 🥚🐣🐔

Eggs are a wildly popular food, with the US alone producing over 105 billion eggs in 2017. They’re celebrated for their cultural and religious significance (as a symbol for birth and new beginnings, especially during Easter) and are loved for their culinary versatility, appearing not only in savory dishes but also sweets like cakes and custard.

Unfortunately, the egg industry is nothing to be celebrated, as it’s an industry based on a system of abuse, neglect and murder. Luckily, we don’t have to support this as there are many substitutes that we can use instead of eggs – if you’re after protein, there are plenty of vegan sources of protein. If you’re wanting to bake, there are vegan egg replacements too. If you want chocolate eggs for Easter, you’re covered there too. Along with there being an abundance of choice on the internet, you’re guaranteed to find something at your local grocery store.

Whether you came here looking for a silly joke for a pun thread or a clever Instagram hashtag, we hope you enjoy this list and leave with the right pun for your needs (and a better understanding of the egg industry).

Egg Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about eggs that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of egg puns:

  • Joke → Yolk: As in, “Inside yolk” and “Yolk’s on you” and “Yolking around.”
  • Oak → Yolk: As in, “A heart of yolk” and “Solid as a yolk” and “Little strokes fell great yolks” and “Mighty yolks from little acorns grow.”
  • Folk → Yolk: As in, “Different strokes for different yolks” and “Show’s over, yolks” and “That’s all, yolks” and “All just yolktales.”
  • I’m lettin’ → Omlettin’: As in, “Omlettin‘ them go” and “Omlettin‘ you have it.” Note: here are some recipes for vegan omelettes.
  • Shell: The following puns are about the shell of the egg, which can be valued for their high calcium content (there are some other foods high in calcium that you can eat instead):
    • Celebration→ Shellebration: As in “After finishing we should have a shellebration.”
    • Shall→ Shell: As in “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He who lives by the sword shell die by the sword.”
    • Sell → Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”
    • Hell → Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”
  • *eg* → *egg*: We can sneak the word “egg” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “Get a legg on” and “Neggative results” and “Had you pegged as…” and “I begg to differ” and “Where do I beggin?” Other words that could work: leggacy, eggocentric, nutmegg, bootlegg, dregg and integgrity.
  • *ig* → *egg*: We can swap “ig” sounds for “egg” sounds, as in, “Keep on degging (digging)” and “Eggnorance is not bliss” and “You can’t eggnore it forever” and “Choosing to remain eggnorant” and “Eggnite your passion.”
  • *ecc* → *egg*: “A real eggcentric” and “Impeggable (impeccable) taste.”
  • *ex* → *eggs*: As in, “A compleggs situation” and “Indeggsed (indexed) files” and “Better than seggs (sex)” and “Don’t fleggs your muscles here” and “Pure refleggs (reflex)” and “From eggsperience” and “Taken out of conteggst (context)” and “Eggspress post” and “In eggschange.” Other words you could use: eggsploit (exploit), eggstract (extract), eggsercise (exercise), eggsistential (existential), eggserpt (except), eggsample (example), eggsacerbate (exacerbate), eggsamine (examine), eggsact (exact), eggsasperate (exasperate), eggsclusive (exclusive), eggsited (excited), eggsellent (excellent), eggsess (excess), eggsempt (exempt), eggsemplify (exemplify), eggsecution (execution), eggsfoliate (exfoliate), eggshibit (exhibit), eggshaust (exhaust), eggsausted (exhausted), eggsibition (exhibition), eggsilarating (exhilarating), eggshale (exhale), eggsist (exist), eggsit (exit), eggsotic (exotic), eggsorbitant (exorbitant), eggspect (expect), eggsquisite (exquisite), eggstension (extension), eggstrapolate (extrapolate), eggstensive (extensive), eggstraordinary (extraordinary), eggsuberant (exuberant) and eggsude (exude).
  • *ec* → *egg*: As in, “New teggnology” and “Change the subjeggt” and “Be objeggtive” and “High seggurity” and “An effeggtive technique” and “Solar egglipse.” Other words you could use: seggular (secular), feggless (feckless), egglectic (eclectic), eggonomy (economy), eggo (echo), eggology (ecology) and eggstatic (ecstatic).
  • *ac* → *egg*: As in, “Taken into eggount” and “Take eggtion” and “In on the eggt (act)” and “Looking for eggommodation.” Other words you could use: eggnowledge (acknowledge), eggrue (accrue) and eggronym (acronym)
  • *ag* → *egg*: As in, “In the begg (bag)” and “Capture the flegg” and “Tegging along” and “Stop dregging your feet” and “Reggs to riches” and “Snegg (snag) a great deal.” Other words you could use: preggmatic (pragmatic), propeggate (propagate), eggregate (aggregate), eggainst (against), eggnostic (agnostic), egghast (aghast), eggree (agree) and eggreement (agreement).
  • Egg: We’ll finish this section off with some egg-related phrases that are general enough to use as puns: “As sure as eggs is eggs” and “A bad egg” and “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and “Nest egg” and “Walking on eggshells” and “Can’t make a cake without breaking some eggs.”
  • Fly → Fry: As in, “Come fry with me” and “Born to fry” and “Frying by the seat of your pants” and “Fry off the handle” and “Off to a frying start” and “Pass with frying colours” and “Go fry a kite” and “Don’t give a frying f*ck” and “Pigs might fry” and “The only way to fry.”
  • Free* → Fry*: As in, “Symbol of frydom” and “Fry as a bird” and “Born fry” and “Breathe fryly” and “Buy one, get one fry” and “Calorie fry” and “Footloose and fancy fry” and “Fry for all” and “Fry enterprise” and “Fry range” and “The best things in life are fry.”
  • Cry → Fry: As in, “A fry for help” and “A shoulder to fry on” and “Fry foul” and “Fry your heart out” and “For frying out loud” and “Don’t fry over spilt milk.”
  • *fra* → *fry*: As in, “Freeze fryme” and “Picture fryme” and “Frymed for the murder of…” and “Please refryne from…”
  • *fre* → *fry*: As in, “Radio fryquency” and “Frydom of the press” and “Like a fryt (freight) train.”
  • Fight → Fryt: As in, “A straight fryt” and “Come out fryting” and “Fryt for the right to party” and “Fryt back” and “Fryting back tears” and “Fryt fire with fire” and “Fryting like cats and dogs” and “Fryt or flight” and “Fryt the good fryt” and “Fryt tooth and nail” and “A fryting chance” and “Fryting fit” and “Freedom fryter” and “Go down fryting” and “Live to fryt another day” and “Picking fryts” and “Pillow fryt” and “Spoiling for a fryt.”
  • Fright → Fryt: As in, “Frytened of your own shadow” and “Frytful mess” and “Take fryt” and “Fryten to death.”
  • Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish (selfish).
  • *sel → *shell: Words ending in “sel” can often be punned upon with “shell”: vesshell (vessel), tasshell (tassel), weashell (weasel), musshell (mussel), etc.
  • *sel* → *shell*: Words containing “sel” can yeild nice puns on “shell”: Hershellf, himshellf, themshellves, itshellf, myshellf, yourshelf, yourshelves, convershelly, counshelling, preshellected, overshelling, undershelling, ushellessely, weashelling.
  • *cial → *shell: When a word has “cial” as a suffix, this suffix can usually be swapped out for “shell” to create a shell pun: soshell (social), speshell (special), offishell (official), finanshell, commershell, crushell, judishell, artifishell, provinshell, rashell, benefishell, superfishell, fashell, glashell, sacrifishel, antisoshell.
  • *yak* → *yolk*: As in, “Teriyolki tofu” and “A member of the yolkuza.” Note: the yakuza is an organised crime gang based in Japan.
  • Yukata → Yolkata: (note: a yukata is a type of light kimono.)
  • Hatch: These hatch-related phrases can double as egg puns: “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched” and “Down the hatch” and “Hatch a cunning plan.”
  • Hitch → Hatch: As in, “Get hatched” and “Hatch your wagon to a star” and “Went off without a hatch.”
  • Late → Laid: As in, “Better laid than never” and “Catch you laider” and “Fashionably laid” and “Read any good books laidly?” and “Never too laid” and “It’s laider than you think” and “A laid bloomer” and “Laid in the day” and “Sooner rather than laider” and “Too little too laid.”
  • *lad* → *laid*: As in, “Laidy and the Tramp” and “Laidy Luck” and “Laiden with goods” and “Laidling out soup” and “Little laidybug” and “All the single laidies.” Other words that could work: salaid (salad), blaide (blade), accolaide (accolade) and malaidy. Note: a malady is an illness.
  • *knowledge* → *knowlaidge*: As in, “Seeking knowlaidge” and “Acknowlaidge your presence” and “Knowlaidgeable on the topic of” and “Give my acknowlaidgement to.”
  • *lid* → *laid*: As in, “Solaid as a rock” and “Valaid argument” and “Squalaid surroundings.” Other words that could work: invalaid (invalid), holaiday (holiday), consolaidate (consolidate), valaidate (validate) and solaidarity (solidarity).
  • *lat* → *laid*: “Game emulaidor” and “Collaideral damage” and “Plaidform shoes” and “Well-articulaided.” Other words that could work: laideral (lateral), laident (latent), laiditude (latitude), laidency (latency), articulaid (articulate) and conflaid (conflate). Note: to conflate is to bring things together, or to mix them.
  • *lit* → *laid*: These are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work. As in, “In the laiderature” and “I laiderally just said that” and “A laidany (litany) of items” and “The laideral meaning.” Other words: laidigation (litigation), facilaidy (facility), qualaidy (quality), humilaidy (humility), liabilaidy (liability), polaidics (politics), realaidy (reality) and accountabilaidy (accountability).
  • Afriad → Afried: As in, “Afried of your own shadow” and “Afried so” and “Be afried” and “Too afried to ask.”
  • Cried → Fried: As in, “Fried my eyes out.”
  • Pride → Fried: As in, “Bursting with fried” and “Hurt fried” and “Fried and prejudice” and “Fried and joy” and “Swallow your fried” and “Take fried in.”
  • Fired → Fried: As in, “All fried up and ready to go” and “You’re fried!”
  • *fly → *fry: Butterfry (butterfly) and dragonfry (dragonfly).
  • Free → Free range: As in, “As free range as a bird” and “Born free range” and “Buy one, get one free range” and “Free range and easy” and “Free range for all” and “Free range spirit” and “Live free range or die” and “Nothing is ever free range.” Note: unfortunately, “free range” doesn’t mean what most egg consumers think it does. Free range is essentially as harmful to chicken welfare as caged/battery (and all forms of chicken farming will still start with chick culling).
  • Cage: These next few puns are dedicated to the idea of cage eggs, which is a system that provides an extremely unethical and torturous way for hens to live:
    • Age → Cage: As in, “Cage before beauty” and “Cage of consent” and “An awkward cage” and “Come of cage” and “A golden cage” and “In this day and cage” and “Mental cage” and “The cage of reason” and “Through the cages” and “One for the cages.”
    • *age* → *cage*: As in, “Double-cagent” and “Modelling cagency” and “What’s your cagenda?” and “The gay cagenda” and “Cageing gracefully” and “Increase your levercage (leverage)” and “Encage combat!”
    • Decay → Decage: As in, “Tooth decage” and “Falling into decage.”
    • Gauge → Cage: As in, “Fuel cage” and “Trying to cage your reaction.”
  • Flattery → Battery: Related to cage eggs are battery cages, which refers specifically to the housing system that’s used for producing animal byproducts (so it includes but isn’t limited to eggs): “Battery will get you nowhere” and “Imitation is the sincerest form of battery.”
  • Check → Chick: As in, “Chick it out!” and “Chick your sources” and “Double chick” and “Keep in chick” and “Reality chick” and “Take a rainchick” and “Chick up on.”
  • Click → Chick: As in, “Chick bait” and “Chick into place” and “Chick your fingers” and “Double chick” and “We really chicked” and “Point and chick.”
  • Pick → Chick: As in, “A bone to chick” and “Cherry chick” and “Easy chickings” and “Nit chicking” and “Chick a fight” and “Chick a card, any card” and “Chick of the bunch” and “Chick holes in” and “Chick up the pieces” and “Chick up the tab” and “Chick your brains” and “Chick your battles.”
  • Quick → Chick: As in, “Chick as a flash” and “Cut to the chick” and “Fancy a chickie?” and “Get rich chick” and “In chick succession” and “Kiss me chick” and “Chick and dirty” and “Chick off the mark” and “Chick smart” and “A chick study” and “Chick witted” and “Chicker than the eye” and “Lightning chick.”
  • Chuck → Chick: As in, “Chick a sickie,” and “Get chicked out,” and “Chick overboard.”
  • Trick → Chick: As in, “Bag of chicks,” and “Every chick in the book,” and “How’s chicks?” and “Never misses a chick,” and “One chick pony,” and “A chick of the light,” and “Chick or treat!” and “Chicks of the trade,” and “Up to your old chicks.”
  • Thick → Chick: As in, “As chick as thieves,” and “Blood is chicker than water,” and “In the chick of things,” and “The plot chickens,” and “Chick and fast,” and “Through chick and thin,” and “Lay it on chick.”
  • White: The following puns refer to egg whites, which are valued for their low fat content and high protein (here are some other sources of protein):
    • Wide → White: As in, “Open white!” and “The world white web” and “White-eyed” and “Give them a white berth” and “Blow it white open” and “Cast a white net” and “White awake.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “The white to choose” and “All the white moves” and “Animal whites” and “White as rain” and “Bragging whites” and “Civil whites” and “Dead to whites” and “Do alwhite for yourself” and “Fight for your whites” and “Get off on the white foot” and “Hold it white there!” and “Human whites” and “In the white place at the white time” and “Serves you white” and “Moving white along” and “White up your alley” and “White back at you.”
    • What → White: As in, “Do white comes naturally” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “It is white it is” and “It’s not white it looks like” and “No matter white” and “So white?” and “White a piece of work” and “White are friends for?” and “White does that have to do with anything?”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “Whiter’s block.”
    • Wait → White: As in, “A accident white-ing to happen” and “Good things to those who white” and “Lie in white” and “Ready and white-ing” and “White a minute” and “The white is over” and “Time whites for no-one” and “White in line” and “I can’t white” and “White and see” and “White-ing for the other shoe to drop” and “A white-ing game.”
    • Rite → White: As in, “Perform the last whites” and “White of passage.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white around” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “A dead white” and “Give white to” and “Hit above your white” and “The white of the world.”
    • *what* → *white*: somewhite (somewhat), whitesoever (whatsoever), whitenot (whatnot) and whitever (whatever).
  • Crack: The following puns refer to the act of cracking an egg in order to cook it (here are some great egg substitutes you can use in your cooking).
    • *cac* → *crack*: As in, “A crackophony of noise” and “Crackao flavoured.” Other words that could work: cracktus (cactus) and crackle (cackle). Note: a cacophony is a jumbled, chaotic mess of sound.
    • Cricket → Cracket
    • Croc* → Crack*: As in, “Crackodile tears” and “Delicate crackery” and “Potted crackus (crocus)” and “Simmering in the crackpot.” Note: a crocus is a type of flower.
    • Krak* → Crack*: Cracken (kraken) and crackatoa (krakatoa). Note: krakatoa is a volcanic island.
  • Approach → Appoach: As in, “The wrong appoach” and “Appoach the subject” and “A balanced appoach.”
  • Coach → Poach: As in, “Life poach” and “Head poach.”
  • Shamble → Scramble: As in, “A complete scramble” and “In total scrambles.”
  • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble” and “Scrambling addiction.”
  • Ramble → Scramble: As in, “Scrambling on and on” and “They’re funny, but tend to scramble.”
  • Scramble: “They scrambled to their feet.”
  • Then → Hen: As in, “All that and hen some” and “Now and hen” and “And hen there was one” and “That was hen, this is now” and “Right hen and there” and “But hen again…”
  • *hen*: Words than contain “hen” can be silly chicken/hen puns: Apprehend, appre-hen-sion, comprehend, comprehension, comprehensive, hence, henceforth, repre-hen-sible, stonehenge.
  • Comedian → Comedi-hen: As in, “You’re a real comedi-hen” and “Everyone’s a comedi-hen round here.”
  • *han* → *hen*: As in, “Give me your hend (hand),” and “Do you have a hendle (handle) on it?” and “You look so hendsome tonight,” and “Your hendwriting has improved,” and “Their kids are a real hendful,” and “She was raised as an orphen,” and “The elephent in the room,” and “Please enhence the image,” and “I’ve had an epipheny!” and “This is your last chence,” and “Change the chennel.”
  • *hin* → *hen*: As in, “You’re hendering (hindering) me,” and “Doorhenge,” and “Give me a hent (hint),” and “In hendsight (hinsight),” and “You’re a hendrance (hindrance),” and “Change comes from withen,” and “Looking a bit then (thin),” and “Take it on the chen (chin),” and “Got kicked in the shens (shins),” and “Contrary to what you may think, dolphens are mammals,” and “A rush of endorphens,” and “A street urchen.” Note: to hinder is to block someone’s progress or to make something difficult to complete.
  • *hon* → *hen*: As in, “Brutally henest (honest),” and “An henourable mention,” and “Hello, heney (honey).”
  • *hun* → *hen*: As in, “A wild hench (hunch),” and “The henter (hunter) becomes the hented (hunted),” and “One hendred,” and “I’m hengry,” and “That’s not what I henger (hunger) for.”
  • Hen: These hen-related phrases can be used as egg puns: “Don’t let the fox guard the hen-house” and “As scarce as hen’s teeth” and “A mother hen” and “Hen-pecked” and “Hen’s night/party”. Note: to be henpecked is to be bullied or intimidated by a woman.
  • Enough → Un oeuf (pronounced like “enough”): Un oeuf is French for “one egg”, so we’ve included it here as a terribly cheesy pun: “Because life’s complicated un oeuf” and “Close un oeuf” and “Un oeuf is un oeuf” and “Fair un oeuf” and “Hot un oeuf for you?” and “Can’t thank you un oeuf.”
  • Risk → Whisk: This refers to whisking eggs: “A calculated whisk” and “Whisk averse” and “Whisk life and limb” and “Whisk management” and “Whisky business” and “You run the whisk of” and “Whisking your neck.”
  • Wisconsin → Whiskonsin
  • Beat: These next few puns will refer to beating (mixing) eggs, which is commonly required for baking.
    • Bead → Beat: As in, “Beats of sweat.”
    • Beet → Beat: As in, “Red as a beatroot.”
    • *bat* → *beat*: As in, “Combeat boots” and “Mental acrobeatics” and “Dead beattery.” Other words that could work: numbeat (numbat), wombeat (wombat), exacerbeat (exacerbate), abeat (abate), debeat (debate) and verbeatim (verbatim). Note: to exacerbate something is to make it worse, and if something is verbatim, then it’s word for word.
    • *bet* → *beat*: As in, “For beatter or worse” and “You’d beatter” and “Stuck in beatween” and “Beatray someone’s confidence” and “In beata testing” and “For the beatterment of society” and “A cutting beatrayal.” Other words you could use: beatrothed (betrothed), alphabeat (alphabet), sherbeat (sherbet) and diabeates (diabetes).
    • *bit* → *beat*: As in, “Beattersweet feelings” and “Beatter chocolate” and “Take a gambeat.” Other words that could work: beatumen (bitumen), inhibeat (inhibit), exhibeat (exhibit), rabbeat (rabbit), habeat (habit), orbeat (orbit), inhabeat (inhabit), prohibeat (prohibit), arbeatrary (arbitrary) and beatch (b*tch). Note: if something is arbitrary, then it’s not based on objective logic.
    • *bed* → *beat*: These ones are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work: beatdazzled (bedazzled), beatdraggled (bedraggled), beatroom (bedroom), obeatient (obedient), obeatience (obedience), forbeat (forbid), morbeat (morbid) and libeato (libido).
    • *beet* → *beat*: Beatle (beetle), Beathoven (Beethoven) and beatroot (beetroot).
  • Easy → Over easy: “over easy” is a style of cooking eggs. As in, “As over easy as abc” and “As over easy as pie” and “Over easy access” and “Over easy come, over easy go” and “Over easy does it” and “Over easy on the eyes” and “Over easy pickings” and “Over easy street” and “Free and over easy” and “Take the over easy way out” and “Well that was over easy” and “Too over easy.”
  • Boil: These next few puns are a reference to boiled eggs.
    • Ball → Boil: As in, “Boilpark figure” and “A brand new boilgame” and “Bust your boils” and “Curve boil” and “A different boil game” and Drop the boil” and “Get the boil rolling” and “Have a boil” and “Keep your eye on the boil” and “Playing hardboil” and “A snowboil’s chance in hell” and “The boil is in your court” and “Up to your eyeboils in…”
    • Pale → Boil: As in, “Boils in comparison to” and “A boil imitation of…”
    • I’ll → Boil: As in, “Boil eat my hat” and “Boil be damned!”
    • Boy’ll (boy will) → Boil: As in, “That boil go far” and “That boil learn his lesson soon enough.”
    • *bal* → *boil*: As in, “Off-boilance” and “A delicate boilance” and “Secret boillot” and “Globoil sustainability” and “Nonverboil communication” and “Herboil tea.” Other words that could work: boilloon (balloon), boillistic (ballistic), triboil (tribal), canniboil (cannibal), verboil (verbal) and imboilance (imbalance).
    • Bel* → Boil*: boilieve (believe), boilief (belief) and boiloved (beloved).
    • *bil* → *boil*: As in, “Take responsiboility” and “Rehaboilitation centre” and “Environmental sustainaboility.” Other words you could use: liaboility (liability), accountaboility (accountability), aboility (ability) and capaboility (capability).
    • *bol* → *boil*: boilster (bolster), boilt (bolt), boild (bold), symboil (symbol), gamboil (gambol), hyperboile (hyperbole), aboilish (abolish) and metaboilism (metabolism).
    • *bul* → *boil*: boilshit (bullshit), Istanboil (Istanbul), neboilous (nebulous) and faboilous (fabulous). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s cloudy or vague.
    • *pal* → *boil*: As in, “A princiboil player” and “Palpaboil (palpable) tension” and “A boiltry sum.” Note: if something is palpable, then it’s tangible.
    • *pol* → *boil*: As in, “Store boilicy” and “Identity boilitics” and “Boilice brutality” and “Scrub and boilish (polish).” Other words that could work: extraboilate (extrapolate), anthroboilogy (anthropology) and aboilogise (apologise).
  • Scratch → Scotch: Scotch eggs are another popular egg dish (which also has vegan recipes), so we’ve got a couple of related puns here: “I scotch your back, you scotch mine” and “Scotch the surface” and “Start from scotch” and “Up to scotch” and “Scotching your head” and “A real head-scotcher” and “Scotch an itch.”
  • Foul → Fowl: As in “By fair means or fowl” and “Cry fowl” and “Fowl language” and “Fowl up” and “No harm, no fowl” and “A fowl-mouthed person” and “Fowl play”
  • Fell → Fowl: As in “In one fowl swoop” and “Little strokes fowl great oaks” and “The bottom fowl out of the market” and “She fowl asleep at the wheel” and “He fowl under her spell” and “It fowl into my lap” and “She fowl victim to the scammer”. Note: If something is done in one fell swoop, then it was done quickly and in one single action.
  • Fall → Fowl: As in, “A fowling out,” and “Easy as fowling off a log,” and “Bread always fowls butter side down,” and “Can’t help fowling in love,” and “Catch a fowling star,” and “Fowl about laughing,” and “Fowl between the cracks,” and “Fowl from grace,” and “Fowl into bad habits,” and “A fowlen angel,” and “Oh how the mighty have fowlen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fowl,” and “United we stand, divided we fowl.”
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • *fal* → *fowl*: As in, fowllacy (fallacy), fowlter (falter), fowlse (false), fowllout (fallout), buffowlo (buffalo), crestfowllen (crestfallen), defowlt (default), downfowl (downfall), fowlsetto (falsetto), fowlt (fault), fowlsify (falsify), freefowl (freefall), nightfowl (nightfall), waterfowl (waterfall).
  • Paltry → Poultry: The term “paltry” means “small, insignificant or worthless” and the term “poultry” refers to domesticated chickens (and ducks, geese and other fowl). As in, “A poultry amount of work.”
  • Poetry → Poultry: As in, “Poultry in motion,” and “Spoken word poultry.” Note: spoken word poetry is performative poetry that tends to involve themes of social justice.
  • Poltergeist → Poultrygeist: As in, “Peeves the poultrygeist.” Note: Peeves is a famous poltergeist from the Harry Potter series.
  • Next → Nest: As in “Nest minute …” and “Better luck nest time” and “Boy/girl nest door” and “Nest generation” and “Nest in line to the throne” and “Nest to nothing” and “Take it to the nest level” and “Nest to nothing” and “The nest big thing.” and “Cleanliness is next to godliness” and “In nest to no time” and “Nest to nothing” and “One day chicken and the nest day feathers” and “Catch the nest wave” and “As ___ as the nest girl/guy”. Note: “One day chicken and the next day feathers” is a phrase indicating that things we consider valuable can be lost in no time at all (like a job, marriage, or a house etc).
  • Messed → Nest: As in, “You done nest up.”
  • *net* → *nest*: As in, “The nestwork is down” and “Social nestworking” and “The five tenests of” and “Internest connection” and “Captain Planest.” Other words you could use: cabinest (cabinet), bonnest (bonnet), sonnest (sonnet) and magnest (magnet). Note: a sonnet is a type of poem. A tenet is a guiding principle.
  • *nast* → *nest*: As in, “Cheap and nesty” and “A nesty piece of work.” Other words you could use: dynesty (dynasty), nestiness (nastiness), gymnest (gymnast) and monestery (monastery). Notes: a monastery is housing for monks and nuns. A dynasty is a line of rulers from the same family.
  • *nest*: You can emphasise the “nest” in these words: earnest, honest, dishonest, soonest, anesthesia and amnesty. Note: amnesty is a pardon, usually for a political offence.
  • *nist* → *nest*: As in, “The protagonest of the story” and “A misogynest comment” and “A powerful antagonest” and “A hedonestic lifestyle.” Other words you could use: feminest (feminist), chauvinest (chauvinist), communest (communist), adminestration (administration), adminester (administer), minester (minister) and anachronestic (anachronistic). Note: if something is anachronistic, then it doesn’t fit in with the time period.
  • *nost* → *nest*: As in, “Filled with nestalgia” and “A nestalgic smell” and “An assault on the nestrils” and “Agnestic worldview” and “Diagnestic outcome.”
  • Quiche: Quiches are a popular egg dish (which you can easily make an eggless version of) so we’ve included some quiche puns here:
    • Key → Quiche: As in, “A golden quiche can open any door” and “Fear is the quiche” and “The quiche to your heart” and “Quiche-hole surgery” and “Throw away the quiche” and “A low-quiche party” and “Off quiche” and “The quiche to the kingdom” and “Under lock and quiche” and “In a minor quiche” and “A quiche figure of” and “The quiche to success.”
    • Keep → Quiche: As in, “Known by the company you quiche” and “Don’t quiche us in suspense” and “Finders quiche-ers” and “Quiche your head” and “Quiche a lid on it” and “Quiche a straight face” and “Quiche an ear out.”
    • *kaysh* → *quiche*: If a word has a “kaysh” sound, we can replace it with “quiche”: aquiche-ia (acacia), alloquicheion (allocation), alterquiche-ion (altercation), amplifiquiche-ion (amplification), authentiquiche-ion (authentication), certifiquiche-ion (certification), clarifiquiche-ion (clarification), classifiquiche-ion (classification), communiquiche-ion (communication), compliquiche-ion (complication), dediquiche-ion (dedication), dupliquiche-ion (duplication), eduquiche-ion (education), electrifiquiche-ion (electrification), mediquiche-ion (medication) and justifiquiche-ion (justification).
    • *key* → *quiche*: As in, “Barrel of monquiche (monkeys)” and “Quit cold turquiche (turkey)” and “Bottle of whisquiche (whiskey).” Other words that could work: hoquiche (hockey), malarquiche (malarkey), donquiche (donkey), quicheboard (keyboard) and quichenote (keynote).
  • Farm: Since eggs are generally from farms, we’ve included some farm-related puns in here for you:
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Round and farm” and “Farm up” and “Feet farmly planted” and “Terra farma.”
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul” and “Out of farm’s way” and “Wouldn’t farm a fly.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “In good farm” and “Attack is the best farm of defence” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “Sarcasm is the lowest farm of wit” and “In any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm” and “Evil takes many farms.”
    • Arm → Farm: As in, “Farm candy” and “Farmed and dangerous” and “Farmed struggle” and “Farmed intervention” and “Farmed to the hilt” and “As long as your farm” and “At farm’s length” and “The right to bear farms” and “A call to farms” and “Brothers in farms” and “Cost a farm and a leg” and “Give your right farm for” and “Up in farms” and “With open farms.”
    • Arm* → Farm*: As in, Farmageddon (armageddon), farmy (army), farmistice (armistice), farmour (armour). Note: an armistice is a formal agreement to stop fighting.
    • Am* → Farm*: As in, “That’s farmazing!” and “Farmateur work” and “Farmbiguous answers” and “Farmbitious projects.” Other words that could work: farmbivalent (ambivalent), Farmerican, farmendment (amendment), farmicable (amicable), farmidst (amidst), farmonnia (ammonia), farmmunition (ammunition), farmnesia (amnesia), farmong (among) and farmongst (amongst).
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “My farmily tree” and “A farmiliar place” and “Farm and fortune” and “Almost farmous” and “Wartime farmine” and “Farmiliarise yourself with your new home.” Other words that could work: farmished (famished), Oxfarm (Oxfam), infarmy (infamy) and infarmous (infamous).
    • Fem* → Farm*: As in, “The future is farmale” and “Farminism is not a dirty word” and “Feeling farminine.”
    • Fum* → Farm*: As in, “Farmbling around” and “Farming (fuming) mad” and “Farmigate the house.”
    • Ferment → Farment: (Note: this also works for other forms of the word, like farmentation (fermentation) and farmented (fermented)).
    • *firm* → *farm*: As in, “Can you please confarm your reservation?” and “Elderly and infarm” and “Motivational affarmations” and “Answer in the affarmative” and “Give confarmation.” Other words that could work: infarmary (infirmary), affarm (affirm) and farmware (firmware).
    • *form* → *farm*: As in, “A farmidable opponent” and “New, improved farmula” and “Which farmat should I save it in?” and “Farmal dresscode” and “Farmulate a plan.” Other words you could use: farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), platfarm (platform), infarm (inform), confarm (conform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), refarm (reform), landfarm (landform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • *phem* → *farm*: blasfarmy (blasphemy), eufarmism (euphemism) and blasfarmous (blasphemous).
    • Sophomore → Sofarmore
    • Pharm* → Farm*: farmacy (pharmacy), farmaceutical (pharmaceutical) and farmacist (pharmacist).
  • Clutch: In this context, a clutch is a brood of chickens or a group of eggs. Make cheesy references to them with these puns:
    • Crutch → Clutch: As in, “On clutches” and “Using alcohol as a clutch.”
    • Glitch → Clutch: As in, “A clutch in the system.”
    • Clutch: Clutch has two meanings: to hold onto something tightly, and a group of eggs. We can make some egg puns using this: “A drowning person will clutch at a straw,” and “Pearl-clutcher.” Note: a pearl-clutcher is someone who is overly prudish.
    • Ovum: Ovums are egg cells (yes, we’re getting very technical here) so we’ve got some ovum-related puns for you to play with:
      • Over → Ovum: As in, “All ovum again” and “Bowled ovum” and “A bridge ovum troubled water” and “Brimming ovum with confidence” and “Come on ovum” and “Didn’t lose any sleep ovum it.”
      • Drove him → Dr’ovum: As in, “They dr’ovum to sleeplessness.”
  • Duck: Duck eggs are another type of egg commonly eaten by humans, so we’ve included them in this list too:
    • Dock → Duck: As in, “Charging duck” and “Waiting in the duck.”
    • Dark → Duck: As in, “After duck” and “Duck as pitch” and “Dancing in the duck” and “Duck before the dawn” and “Duck horse” and “Duck humour” and “Deep duck secret” and “Every duck cloud has a silver lining” and “In the duck” and “A duck and stormy night” and “Kept in the duck” and “A shot in the duck” and “My duckest hour.”
    • Tuck → Duck: As in, “Nip and duck” and “Duck in.”
    • Deck → Duck: As in, “All hands on duck” and “Clear the ducks” and “Deal from the bottom of the duck” and “Duck of cards” and “All ducked out” and “Hit the duck” and “Not playing with a full duck.”
    • Truck → Duck: As in, “By the duckload” and “Have no duck with” and “Fell off the back of a duck” and “Keep on duckin‘.”
    • Dec* → Duck*: As in, “A steady duckline (decline)” and “A duckadent meal” and “Falling into duckay.”
    • *dic* → *duck*: As in, “Look it up in the ducktionary” and “As the new laws ducktate (dictate)” and “A real ducktator” and “Orthopaeduck shoes” and “Call a meduck (medic)” and “Nomaduck lifestyle” and “The perioduck table.” Other words that could work: duckotomy (dichotomy – a separation of something into two), ducktum (dictum – an authoritative statement), sporaduck (sporadic – happening rarely and randomly), aciduck (acidic), episoduck (episodic), meduckal (medical), raduckal (radical), preduckament (predicament), induckate (indicate), vinduckate (vindicate) and deduckate (dedicate).
    • Doc* → Duck*: As in, “I need a ducktor!” and “Legal ducktrine (doctrine)” and “Official duckuments” and “Keep the ducket” and “A new vegan duckumentary” and “All in the duckumentation.”
    • *duc* → *duck*: As in, “Code of conduckt” and “New and improved produckt.”
    • Dakota → Duckota: (note: Dakota is the name of a few different towns and cities in the United States)
    • *tech* → *duck*: As in, “Cutting-edge ducknology” and “Masterful ducknique” and “Ducknical information” and “Ducknically, yes.”
  • Goose: Since goose eggs are another popular food, we included some goose-related puns and phrases here that could double as egg puns in a pinch:
    • Goes → Goose: As in, “The Academy award goose to…” and “Anything goose” and “As far as it goose” and “As the saying goose” and “As time goose by” and “Here goose nothing!” and “How goose it?” and “Goose without saying” and “Life goose on” and “No good deed goose unpunished” and “Steady as she goose” and “What goose up must come down” and “Who goose there?” and “My heart goose out to…”
    • Guess → Goose: As in, “It’s anybody’s goose” and “Goose what?” and “Gooseing games” and “Have a goose” and “Just lucky, I goose” and “Your goose is as good as mine” and “Second-gooseing yourself” and “You’ll never goose.”
    • *gas* → *goose*: As in, gooselight (gaslight), gooseoline (gasoline), flabbergooseted (flabbergasted), orgoose-sm (orgasm) and smorgoosebord (smorgasbord).
    • *gos* → *goose*: As in, “A relentless gooseip” and “Gooseamer wings” and “The goosepel truth.”
    • *gus* → *goose*: gooseto (gusto), gooset (gusset), gooset (gust), fungoose (fungus), bogoose (bogus), oesophagoose (oesophagus), asparagoose (asparagus), Augooset (August), disgooset (disgust) and disgooseting (disgusting).
  • Birth: Since eggs are literally to do with birth and are used to symbolise birth and re-birth in cultural celebrations, we’ve included some birth-related puns here too:
    • Berth → Birth: As in, “Give them a wide birth.” Note: berth in this context means room or space to move.
    • Earth → Birth: As in, “Journey to the centre of the birth” and “Brought down to birth” and “Cost the birth” and “Down to birth” and “Birth mother” and “Birthly delights” and “Birthly paradise” and “From the ends of the birth” and “Hell on birth” and “A scorched birth policy.”
    • Perth → Birth: (Note: Perth is the capital of Western Australia.)
    • Bath* → Birth*: Birthroom (bathroom), birthtub (bathtub), birthers (bathers), sabbirth (sabbath) and bloodbirth (bloodbath).
    • *beth* → *birth*: Birthlehem (Bethlehem) and Elizabirth (Elizabeth).
    • Bother* → Birther*: As in, “It’s not a birther” and “How birthersome” and “Hot and birthered” and “Stop birthering me.”
  • Roe: We aren’t just looking at chicken’s eggs in this list! Roe is popularly eaten as a delicacy, and since they’re fish eggs we’ve included them in this list.
    • Row → Roe: As in, “Front roe seats.”
    • Rue → Roe: As in, “You’ll roe the day!”
    • Throw → Roe: As in, “Roe away the key” and “A stone’s roe away” and “Roe another log on the dire” and “Roe a fit” and “Roe caution to the winds” and “Roe cold water on” and “Roe it back in their face” and “Roe the towel in” and “Roe up” and “Roe your weight around” and “Roe your hat into the ring” and “Roe a bone to.”
    • Toe → Roe: As in, “Dip your roe in the water” and “From top to roe” and “Head to roe” and “Make their roes curl” and “Roe the line” and “Twinkle roes.”
    • Rose → Roe-s: As in, “Come up smelling of roe-ses” and “Bed of roe-ses” and “Every roe-s has its thorn” and “Roe-s tinted glasses” and “Stop and smell the roe-ses.”
    • Rhe* → Roe*: roetoric (rhetoric), roetorical (rhetorical) and roematism (rheumatism).
    • Rho* → Roe*: roembus (rhombus) and roedodendron (rhododendron). Note: a rhododendron is a type of flower.
    • *roa* → *roe*: As in, “Hit the roed” and “On the roed” and “Middle of the roed” and “Roest me” and “Hear me roer (roar)” and “Approech carefully” and “A proe-active worker.” Other words that could work: reproech (reproach), broech (broach), throet (throat).
    • Rou* → Roe*: As in, “All year roe‘nd” and “Going roe‘nd in circles” and “Gather roe‘nd” and “Makes the world go roe‘nd” and “Rally roe‘nd” and “A roe‘ndabout way” and “Just a roe‘tine check” and “A roe‘gh adventure.”
    • *raw → *roe: As in, “It’s a droe” and “Withdroe from the race” and “The final stroe” and “A roe deal” and “Back to the droe-ing board” and “Droe the line” and “The luck of the droe.”
    • *rew* → *roe*: As in, “Little to no roeward” and “Needs a roewrite” and “A roewarding position” and “Scroe it” and “Skeleton croe” and “Written in Hebroe.”
    • *row* → *roe*: As in, “As if there’s no tomorroe” and “Here today, gone tomorroe” and “Drowning in sorroe” and “A narroe escape” and “Groe-ing up.” Other words that could work: roedy (rowdy), throe (throw), croe (crow), burroe (burrow) and proe-ess (prowess).
    • Re* → Roe*: As in, “For future roeference” and “Not a roelevant point” and “Requires further roesearch” and “Steely roesolve” and “Made roedundant” and “Graphic roendering.”
    • *ro* → *roe*: As in, “Going proe” and “Acting like a heroe” and “Build yourself up from zeroe” and “Microe loans” and “Throe the ball!” Other words you could use: Camaroe (a Camaro is a type of car), maestroe, euroe, syndroeme (syndrome), troepe (trope), troell (troll), roell (roll), stroeke (stroke), oxymoroen (oxymoron), thoroegh (thorough) and stroell (stroll).
    • *rus* → *roes*: thesauroes (thesaurus), proedent (prudent) and accroe (accrue).
  • Easter: Since some people might be after eggs of the chocolatey Easter variety, we’ve included Easter puns in here too:
    • Easter: As in, “Easter Island,” and “Easter parade,” and “The Easter bunny.”
    • East/Eastern → Easter: As in, “Easter of Eden,” and “Full of Easter promise.”
    • *east → *easter: As in, “At the very l-easter,” and “A f-easter for the eyes,” and “F-easter or famine,” and “The king of b-easters,” and “Last but not l-easter,” and “Nutritional y-easter is a good cheese substitute.”
  • Ail → Quail: Since quail eggs are eaten as well (more commonly in Asian countries), we’ve got them in this list too: “What quails you?”

The following puns are specific to characters and celebrity names:

  • Yoko Ono → Yolko Ono
  • Edward Scissorhands → Eggward Scissorhands
  • Ed Sheeran → Egg Sheeran
  • Benedict Cumberbatch → Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch
  • Liam Hemsworth → Liam Hensworth
  • Michelle Obama → Mi-shell Obama
  • Megan Fox → Meggan Fox
  • Charles Dickens → Charles Chickens

Note: if you’d like further information about the egg industry or avoiding eggs in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Egg-Related Words

To help you come up with your own egg puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: egg, shell, yolk, white, crack, fry, fried, boil, poach, scrambled, hard-boiled, omelette, devilled, pickled, scotch, benedict, florentine, beat, sunny, over easy, hatch, laid, free range, cage, hen, battery, chicken, duck, goose, easter, rotten, whisk, frittata, quiche, farm, fowl, nest, zygote, embryo, fertilised, ovum, incubate, clutch, birth, roe, caviar, carton, cholesterol, fat, salmonella, quail, faberge

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