Milk Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on milk puns! 🥛🌱

Milk is loved both as a drink on its own, and as an addition to (or a base for) other drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and milkshakes. It’s also popular as a condiment of sorts, with many dipping chocolates or cookies (or biscuits, depending where you are in the world) in their milk.

Unfortunately, the industry that produces milk is not so wholesome – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of dairy-free milk options (sometimes called “mylk”) that we can enjoy instead.

Apart from the taste, a lot of people are convinced of the health benefits of milk, the main one being calcium. Not only does a glass of milk have less calcium than we might initially think (less than a bowl of spinach or kale), but our ability to digest and actually benefit from the calcium in milk is debatable. There are plenty of other foods that we can derive our daily calcium from.

Whether you’re here for a witty instagram caption, a quick one-liner for your tinder date or facebook argument, we hope that you find the milk pun that you need.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, chocolate punscheese puns, ice cream puns, Easter puns and coffee puns, and have chocolate and cereal puns coming soon too!

Milk Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about milk that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of milk puns:

  • Utter → Udder: As in, “Udderly inconsiderate.”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Milk: These milk-related phrases are general enough to work as puns: “Mild as milk” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk” and “Land of milk and honey” and “Milk dry” and “Milk it for all it’s worth” and “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
  • Note: all of these milk puns could also work for “mylk”, which is the term for non-dairy milks (or mylks!)
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This was no cowincidence.”
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntry,  cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Mikayla → Milkayla
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.” Note: pasteurization is a sterilisation process.
  • Lack those → Lactose: As in, “I can’t drink milk as I lactose enzymes required to digest it.” Note: lactose is a sugar found in milk, which many people aren’t able to digest or tolerate.
  • Litre: In some countries, milk is sold in litres/liters, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Later → Litre: As in, “Buy now, pay litre” and “Catch you litre” and “It’s litre than you think” and “Sooner or litre” and “Can we continue this litre?”
    • Letter → Litre: As in, “Four litre word” and “Chain litre” and “Litre perfect” and “Litre to the editor” and “To the litre” and “I’ll send you a litre.”
    • Lighter → Litre: As in, “The litre way to enjoy chocolate” and “Feeling litre than air” and “Litre than a feather” and “Feeling litre than before.”
    • *liter* → *litre*: As in, “Yes, I meant that litreally” and “It’s all in the litreature” and “Don’t have to be so litreal about it” and “Litreacy rates across America.” Other words you could use: litreate (literate), oblitreate (obliterate) and illitreate (illiterate).
    • Collateral → Collitre-al: As in, “Collitre-al damage.”
    • *lete → *litre: As in, “You’ve made a complitre mess of it” and “That product is obsolitre” and “Deplitred (depleted) funds” and “Delitre the files” and “Built like an athlitre.” Other words that could work: replitre (replete), incomplitre (incomplete) and complitrely (completely).
  • Lait: “Lait” is French for milk, and is a common word in the coffee-drinking community (as in, “cafe au lait”). Here are a few silly puns that involve the word “lait”:
    • Late → Lait: Lait is actually pronounced without the “t” at the end, so this isn’t a perfect pun but it can still work quite well: “Better lait than never” and “Buy now, pay laiter” and “Fashionably lait” and “A day lait and a dollar short” and “It’s never too lait” and “A lait bloomer” and “Lait in the day/game” and “Running lait.”
    • Lay → Lait: As in, “Couldn’t lait a finger on” and “Lait a trap” and “Lait down roots” and “Lait eyes on” and “Lait down your arms.”
    • *lay* → *lait*: As in, “Let’s plait!” and “Could you relait the situation?” and “On full displait” and “Unforseen delaits (delays)” and “An ornate jade inlait” and “It’s okay to hate the plaiter (player) AND the game.” Other words: waylait (waylay) and slait (slay).
    • *ly → *lait: As in, “A familait (family) matter” and “A full assemblait (assembly)” and “Yes, probablait.” Other words that could work: arguablait (arguably), inevitablait (inevitably), presumablait (presumably), notablait (notably), possiblait (possibly), bubblait (bubbly), publiclait (publicly), friendlait (friendly), hardlait (hardly), badlait (badly) and kindlait (kindly).
  • Pint: Some countries still sell milk measured in pints, so we’ve included some pint-related puns here:
    • Point → Pint: As in, “At this pint in time” and “Beside the pint” and “Brownie pints” and “Drive your pint home” and “Get right to the pint” and “Jumping off pint” and “Not to put too fine a pint on it” and “I see your pint of view” and “Pint out” and “Pint the finger at” and “A talking pint” and “The sticking pint” and “Case in pint” and “The finer pints of” and “The pint of no return.”
    • Pants → Pints: As in, “Ants in their pints” and “Beat the pints off” and “By the seat of your pints” and “Fancy pints” and “Keep your pints on” and “Pints on fire” and “Smarty pints.”
    • Pent → Pint: As in, “Pint up rage.”
    • Pin → Pint: As in, “Bright/clean/neat as a new pint” and “Hard to pint down” and “Pint your ears back” and “Pint the tail on the donkey.”
    •  *pet* → *pint*: As in, “Don’t use that pintulant (petulant) tone with me” and “Perpintual motion machine” and “A compintent (competent) worker.” Other words: impintus (impetus), compintition (competition) and compintence (competence). Note: an impetus is something that compels or encourages you to do something.
    • *pant* → *pint*: As in, “Nothing in the pintry” and “Pinting with fear” and “Disease is rampint” and “A flippint attitude.” Other words that could work: pintomime (pantomime), participint (participant) and occupint (occupant).
    • *pent* → *pint*: As in, “Pinthouse suite” and “Repint for your sins!” Other words: serpint (serpent), pintagram (pentagram) and carpinter (carpenter).
    • Paint → Pint: As in, “A lick of pint” and “A picture pints a thousand words” and “As boring as watching pint dry” and “Body pinting” and “Do I have to pint you a picture?” and “Finger pinting” and “Pint the town red” and “Pinting by numbers.”
  • Skim: Skim milk is where all of the cream is removed from whole milk, and is very low in fat. Here are some skim milk puns:
    • Scam → Skim: As in, “Skim artist.”
    • Slim → Skim: As in, “Skim pickings” and “The real skim shady.”
    • Swim → Skim: As in, “Sink or skim” and “Going skimmingly” and “Skim against the tide” and “Skim with sharks” and “Skim upstream.”
    • Scum → Skim: This is a bit of a stretch but can still work, as in: “Pond skim” and “Skim always rises to the surface.”
  • Cream: Cream is the part of milk that determines the fat content, and “full cream” is another type of milk, so we’ve included cream puns here for you:
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
  • Whole: Whole milk is the term for milk that hasn’t had anything removed from it (like fat). Here are some wholly bad puns for you to use in reference to it:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Fire in the whole!” and “A whole in one” and “Whole in the wall” and “Wholed up” and “Picking wholes in.”
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “Please whole’d the line” and “A whole-istic healing approach” and “Whole-low inside” and “On wholeiday” and “A wholey (holy) offering” and “Beauty is in the eye of the bewholeder” and “Alcowhole content” and “Menth-whole flavoured” and “Crossing the thresh-whole‘d (threshold).”
  • Hi-Lo: Hi-lo (or HiLo) milk is reduced fat – so “high in calcium, low in fat.” Here are some related puns:
    • Hello → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo, big boy” and “You had me at hi-lo” and “Hi-lo hi-lo, what’s going on here then?”
    • Hollow → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo eyed” and “A hi-lo goodbye.”
  • Sour: Sour milk is a common enough phenomenon for us to include here:
    • *sar* → *sour*: As in, “A sourdonic (sardonic) reply” and “Sourcasm isn’t helpful” and “No need to be sourcastic” and “Caesour salad” and “That’s not necessoury” and “Wedding anniversoury” and “A strong adversoury” and “Read the glossoury.” Note: to be sardonic is to be mocking or cynical.
    • *ser* → *sour*: As in, “At your sourvice” and “A sourious conversation” and “Filled with peace and sourenity” and “Close your browsour tabs” and “Brings us closour together” and “Teasour trailer.”
    • *sor* → *sour*: As in, “Filled with sourrow” and “What sourcery is this!” and “I’m sourry” and “I don’t need the sourdid details” and “Trip advisour” and “University professour.” Other words that could work: sponsour (sponsor), supervisour (supervisor), processour (processor), censour (censor) and consourtium (consortium). Note: a consortium is business partnership, or an association between institutions.
    • *sur* → *sour*: As in, “A quick sourvey” and “A sourreal situation” and “As far as I can sourmise” and “On the sourface” and “Recovering from sourgery” and “Sourrogate mother” and “What a sourprise.”
  • Farm: Since milk is from farms, we’ve got some farm-related puns here. We’d also like to note that while happy cows being milked by hand on a friendly farm is a nice idea, that is not how farms (even free-range ones) operate.
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Farmly planted” and “A farm tone of voice.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “Defence is the best farm of offence” and “Bad farm” and “Farm follows function” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “In fine farm” and “The lowest farm of wit” and “Not in any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm.”
    • From → Farm: As in, “A little farm column a, a little farm column b” and “A week farm next Tuesday” and “Farm a nice place” and “Come in farm the cold” and “Cut farm the same cloth” and “Fall farm grace” and “Farm a mile away” and “Farm a to z” and “Farm cover to cover” and “You’ll have to pry it farm my cold, dead hands” and “Farm soup to nuts” and “With love, farm…”
    • Charm → Farm: As in, “Farm the birds out of the trees” and “A farmed life” and “Southern farm” and “Third time’s a farm” and “Works like a farm.”
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “Friends and farmily” and “Seems farmiliar” and “Almost farmous” and “40 hour farmine” and “I’m farmished!” Other words: infarmy (infamy), infarmous (infamous) and defarmation (defamation). Note: infamy is a reputation (or fame) or evil.
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul.”
    • Infomercial → Infarmercial
    • *form* → *farm*: farmidable (formidable), farmula (formula), farmer (former), farmat (format), farmal (formal), farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), confarm (conform), infarm (inform), platfarm (platform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • Pharmacy → Farmacy
  • Spoil: If milk is off/expired, it’s referred to as spoiled, so here are some related puns:
    • Boil → Spoil: As in, “Spoiling with rage” and “It all spoils down to” and “Bring to the spoil” and “A watched pot never spoils” and “Spoil over.”
    • Spell → Spoil: As in, “How do you spoil…” and “You’ll have to spoil it out” and “Be under [someone’s] spoil” and “Break the spoil.”
    • Spill → Spoil: As in, “Spoil the beans” and “Spoil your guts” and “Thrills and spoils.”
    • Gospel → Gospoil: As in, “The gospoil truth.”
  • Choc: We all love choc milk, so it’s earned a place in this list. Choc milk is so popular that you may get away with using just the word “choc” as a reference to milk (here’s a nice chocolate milk recipe for you to try as well):
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Shake: Since milkshakes are such a popular milk drink, you may get away with using “shake” to refer to “milkshakes” in your wordplay:
    • Shock → Shake: As in, “Culture shake” and “In for a shake” and “In shake” and “Shell-shaked” and “Shake and awe.”
    • Ache → Shake: As in, “Old shakes and pains” and “Splitting headshake.”
    • Sake → Shake: As in, “For heaven’s/goodness shake” and “For old time’s shake.”
  • Kefir: Kefir is a fairly recent probiotic, milk-based drink. Here are some related puns:
    • Key for → Kefir: “This is the kefir the back door.”
    • Keep her → Kefir: “Being able to draw helps kefir spirits up.”
  • Soy milk: Soy milk is perhaps the most widespread (and cheap) non-dairy milk available and comes in different flavours. Here are some related puns:
      • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
      • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”
      • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
      • Thesaurus → Thesoyrus
      • *so* → *soy*: espressoy (espresso), virtuosoy (virtuoso), esoyteric (esoteric), philosoyphy (philosophy), resoylution (resolution), soylution (solution), soyphisticated (sophisticated) and soydium (sodium).
  • Almond milk: As almond milk is another popular type of milk, we’ve got some almond puns here too (and here’s a popular almond milk brand):
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Rice milk: Another readily available dairy-free milk option which we’ve included a few puns for here:
    • Raise → Rice: As in, “Rice a stink” and “Rice hell” and “Rice the bar” and “Rice the roof.”
    • Race → Rice: As in, “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rice to the bottom” and “Rat rice.”
  • Owed → Oat: As in, “Give me what I am oat!” Note: this is a reference to oat milk.
  • Contents → Condensed: As in, “Let me check the condensed” and “Have you read the condensed section?” and “Home and condensed insurance.” Note: this is a reference to condensed milk.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in milk and dairy products.
  • Curdle: If milk is really off, it can curdle. Here are some terrible and related puns:
    • Hurdle → Curdle: “Fall at the last curdle” and “Clearing all the curdles.”
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
  • Breast: Well, this is where milk comes from, so it seemed wrong to not include breast puns (keep ’em respectful) here too:
    • Best → Breast: As in, “All the breast” and “Be the breast” and “Breast friends forever” and “Breast in show” and “Breast of all” and “Breast practice” and “Bring out the breast in me” and “Doing what we do breast” and “Honesty is the breast policy” and “Hope for the breast” and “Living well is the breast revenge” and “Nothing but the breast” and “On your breast behaviour.”
    • Pressed → Breast: As in, “Breast for time/money.”
    • *best* → *breast*: As in, “The greatest honour I could breastow” and “Breastselling novel.”
    • *pressed* → *breast*: As in, “Deeply imbreast (impressed)” and “Subbreast (suppressed) feelings” and “I exbreast (expressed) my emotions to her” and “An unimbreast (unimpressed) tone.”
    • Prestige → Breastige
  • Memory → Mammary: As in, “Down mammary lane” and “In living mammary” and “Mammary lapse” and “Mammary like a sieve” and “Thanks for the mammaries.” Note: mammaries are the milk-secreting organs in breasts.

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Milk-Related Words

To help you come up with your own milk puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

milk, cow, udder, dairy, litre, pint, skim, full, cream, full cream, whole, hi-lo, lowfat, pasteurised, homogenised, UHT, lactose, farm, chocolate, strawberry, banana, milkshake, kefir, soy, almond, coconut, hazelnut, macadamia, rice, oat, leche, lait, rotten, spoiled, expired, lactate, evaporated, condensed, sour, mylk, goat, sheep, yak, buffalo, curdled, casein, breast

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Nut Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on nut puns! 🌰 🥜 🔥

There are plenty of different types of nuts to make puns from, and we’ve done our best to cover them all here. There are different categories of seeds, fruit and legumes that are commonly recognised as nuts (like peanuts and almonds), so we’ve included those here too, along with other foods that are more versatile (like the coconut, which is considered a fruit, nut, and a seed).

Whether you’re here for some cheeky inneundos or a clever hashtag for your new vegan #nutbutter recipe, we hope to have you covered here. This list is specific to nuts – if you’re after related puns, we do also have general food puns, tree puns, avocado puns and fruit puns too.

A quick note that while puns about mental health and well-being are very common in nut puns (eg. “Nutty as a fruitcake”), we haven’t included those here as they are ableist slurs, and we’d like to keep Punpedia friendly to as many people as possible 🙂

Nut Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about nuts that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of nut puns:

  • Not → Nut: As in, “As often as nut” and “Believe it or nut” and “Down, but nut out” and “Nut at all” and “Nut bad” and “Nut in the slightest” and “Nut on your life.”
  • Nought → Nut: As in, “Nuts and crosses” and “All for nut!”
  • Knot → Nut: As in, “Don’t get your knickers in a nut” and “Tie the nut” and “Tie yourself in nuts.”
  • Night → Nut: As in, “Burn the midnut oil” and “Good nut and good luck” and “In the air tonut” and “Morning, noon and nut.”
  • *nat* → *nut*: As in, “Well, nuturally” and “The nutional anthem” and “Any alternutives?” and “Need your signuture here” and “That resonuted with me.”
  • *net* → *nut*: As in, “Social nutwork” and “Nutworking event” and “Fast internut” and “A penutrating glare.” Other words you could use: Other wrods you could use: planut (planet), bonnut (bonnet) and cabinut (cabinut).
  • *nit* → *nut*: As in, “Cognutive therapy” and “Computer monutor” and “Golden opportunuty” and “A tight-knit communuty” and An affinuty for…” Other words you could use: dignuty (dignity) and furnuture (furniture).
  • *not* → *nut*: As in, “Nutwithstanding…” and “Take nutice of” and “Turn it up a nutch” and “Nutorious for” and “Nuthing to worry about” and “I cannut understand you.”
  • *nut*: With these words, we can simply emphasise the “nut” that they already contain: “Plant-based nutrition” and “Packed with nutrients” and “In a nutshell” and “That old chestnut” and “Wait a minute!”
  • Nut: These nut-related phrases that could double as puns in right context: “Sweet as a nut” and “From soup to nuts” and “Go nuts” and “A tough nut to crack.”
  • Pea → Peanut: As in, “As alike as two peanuts in a pod” and “Easy as shelling peanuts.”
  • Pina Colada → Peanut Colada
  • Peanuts: These peanut-related phrases are general enough to be used as puns: “Pay peanuts and get monkeys” and “Working for peanuts.”
  • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
  • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Nut → Chestnut: As in, “As sweet as a chestnut” and “From soup to chestnuts” and “Go chestnuts” and “In a chestnutshell” and “A tough chestnut to crack.” Note: this would also work for any other nut that has “nut” in its name, like brazil nut, peanut, hazelnut, walnut, candlenut, butternut and heartnut.
  • Catch you → Cashew: As in, “Careful, you don’t want them to cashew!” and “I’ll cashew later” and “They’ll cashew out” and “I’m gonna cashew!”
  • Cash you → Cashew: As in, “I’ll cashew in.”
  • Achoo → Cashew (this one is a bit of a stretch, yes, but can work with enough dedication and acting prowess)
  • Shoes → Cashews: As in, “Goody two cashews” and “Kick off your cashews.”
  • Peeking → Pecan: As in, “No pecan!” and “Pecan out through the window.”
  • Piquing → Pecan: As in, “It’s pecan my curiosity.” Note: to be piqued is to be interested.
  • Well, not → Walnut: As in, “Walnut like that” and “Walnut in so many words.”
  • Will not → Walnut: As in, “I walnut.” and “Flattery walnut get you anywhere” and “You cannot, or walnut?”
  • Wall → Walnut: As in, “Like banging your head against a brick walnut” and “Bouncing off the walnuts” and “I’ve hit a walnut” and “The writing is on the walnut” and “You’re driving me up the walnut!”
  • Pine Nut: Pine nuts (aka pinon) are edible pine seeds. Here are some pine-related puns and phrases:
    • Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine” and “Doubled up in pine” and “Growing pines” and “No pine, no gain” and “Old aches and pines” and “A pine in the butt” and “Pinefully slow” and “Being a royal pine” and “At pines to [do something].”
    • Windowpane → Windowpine
    • Pan → Pine: As in, “It didn’t pine out” and “Out of the frying pine, into the fire.”
    • Pin → Pine: As in, “Bright as a new pine” and ” and “Hard to pine down” and “Pines and needles” and “Pine your hopes on” and “Pull the pine.”
    • *pan* → *pine*: As in, “In a pine-nic (panic)” and “Caught with your pine-ts down” and “Marizipine (marzipan – a sugar almond paste) flavoured” and “In good compine-ny” and “Expine-ding your business.” Other words that could work: rampine-t (rampant), pineache (panache), discrepinecy (discrepancy) and pine-nel (panel). Notes: if something is rampant, then it’s unrestrained. To do something with panache is to do it with style.
    • *pen* → *pine*: As in, “A pine-chant for” and “A pine-sive expression” and “Order pine-ding” and “Are the shops opine (open)?” and “How could this happine?” and “Dampined spirits” and “A deepine-ing relationship” and “Waiting for the fruit to ripine” and “Read the appinedix” and “An indepinedent spirit.” Other words that could work: indispinesable (indispensable), depinedent (dependent), propinesity (propensity), sharpine (sharpen), pineance (penance), pine-etrate (penetrate), pineinsula (peninsula) and pine-is (penis).
    • *pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pine-k” and “The pine-acle of your career” and “In a pine-ch” and “Stop confusing hate speech with opine-ions” and “Pine-point the problem” and “Let’s grab a pine-t” and “Pineapple flavoured” and “Go for a spine” and “Dizzying happine-ness.”
    • *pon* → *pine*: As in, “In correspinedence with” and “It’s your respinesibility” and “A spinetaneous trip.”
    • *pain* → *pine*: As in, “Needs a lick of pine-t” and “Acrylic pineting” and “A pinestaking effort” and “Heartbreak is pineful” and “Taking pinekillers.”
    • *poin* → *pine*: As in, “On pine-t” and “Your pineter finger” and “A pineted look” and “What a pinetless effort” and “Doctor’s appinetment” and “I’m not mad, just disappineted” and “I see your viewpinet.”
    • Campaign → Campine
  • Candle → Candlenut: As in, “Can’t hold a candlenut to” and “A candlenut in the wind” and “Burning the candlenut at both ends.”
  • Kola nuts: Kola nuts are a type of caffeine-containing nut. Here are some related puns and phrases:
    • Cold → Kola: As in, “Break out in a kola sweat” and “Catch a kola” and “A kola comfort” and “A kola day in hell” and “Getting kola feet” and “The kola light of day” and “The kola shoulder” and “In kola blood” and “Left out in the kola” and “Pour kola water on” and “Stone kola sober” and “Take a kola hard look at” and “Running hot and kola.”
    • Kaleidoscope → Koladoscope
    • *kele* → *kola*: As in, “A skolatal look” and “Skolatons in the closet.”
    • Ukulele → Ukolale
    • Alkaline → Alkolane
    • Kilo* → Kola*: As in, kolametre (kilometre), kolagram (kilogram), kolabyte (kilobyte) and kolawatt (kilowatt).
    • *cala* → *kola*: As in, “Kolamity and disaster” and “Don’t let it eskolate” and “Up the eskolator.”
    • *cola* → *kola*: As in, “Pina kolada” and “Dark chokolate” and “Perkolated coffee.” Other words you could use: akolade (accolade) and kolander (colander). Note: an accolade is an award or acknowledgement.
    • *cula* → *kola*: As in, “Artikolate yourself clearly” and “A sekolar education” and “Broaden your vernakolar” and “Nothing in pertikolar” and “A spectakolar display” and “Not worth spekolating over” and “An immakolate clean.” Notes: if something is secular, then it is not religious. Vernacular refers to everyday language or speech.
    • Calendar → Kolandar: As in, “Let me check my kolandar.”
    • *cole* → *kola*: kolaslaw (coleslaw) and narkolapsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a type of sleep disorder.
    • *cali* → *kola*: As in, “Kolafornia dreaming” and “Kolabrate (calibrate) your thinking” and “A different lokolaty (locality).”
    • Broccoli → Brokola
    • Culinary → Kolanary: As in, “A kolanary delight.”
    • Calo* → Kola*: As in, “Counting kolaries” and “Kolaric information.”
    • *colo* → *kola*: As in, “In full kolar” and “Ant kolany” and “A kolassal surprise” and “A kolarful life.” Other words you can use: ekolagy (ecology), kolanial (colonial), kolanel (colonel).
    • *culo* → *kola*: As in, metikolas (meticulous), ridikolas (ridiculous) and mirakolas (miraculous).
    • *colu* → *kola*: As in, “Newspaper kolamn” and “Advice kolamnist.” Other words you could use: Kolambia (Columbia) and Kolambine (Columbine).
    • *culu* → *kola*: As in, “School currikolam” and “Mental calkolas (calculas).”
  • Palm: We can make joking references to palm nuts with the following puns and phrases:
    • Balm → Palm: As in, “Strawberry-flavoured lip palm.”
    • Calm → Palm: As in, “Palm down” and “A palming agent” and “Palm waters.”
    • *pam* → *palm*: As in, “Activitst palmphlets” and “A bit of love and palmpering” and “Feeling palmpered” and “Dopalmine levels.”
    • *pom* → *palm*: As in, “A palmpous attitude” and “Palmegranate flavoured” and “Hair palmade” and “Palmeolo (pomelo) tree” and “Anthropalmorphic characters.” Note: pomade is a type of styling gel/paste.
    • *pum* → *palm*: As in, “Palmpkin pie” and “Under the palmp” and “Palmping for information” and “Palmice stone” and “Palmpernickel bread.”
    • *bam* → *palm*: As in, “Palmboo forest” and “You’ve been palmboozled!”
    • *bom* → *palm*: As in, “An apalmination of nature” and “The apalminable snowman.”
    • Bumblebee → Palmblebee
  • Betel: Betel is the colloquial name for areca nuts, which are a type of palm nut. Here are some related puns:
    • Better → Betel: “I feel betel now” and “Anything you can do, I can do betel” and “Appealing to your betel judgement” and “My betel half” and “Betel late than never” and “Betel luck next time” and “Betel safe than sorry” and “Betel than new” and “Betel than sex” and “Betel the devil you know” and “Changing for the betel” and “I couldn’t have said it betel” and “Kiss it betel” and “Should have known betel.”
    • Battle → Betel: As in, “A betel of wits” and “Betel ready” and “Betel royal” adn “Half the betel” and “In the heat of betel” and “Gave betel in vain” and “A betel of wills” and “Beteling against” and “Fight your own betels” and “Won the betel but lost the war.”
    • Petal → Betel
    • Settle → Betel: As in, “A score to betel” and “Betel out of court” and “After the dust has beteled” and “Betel down.”
  • Butter → Butternut: As in, “Bread and butternut” and “Butternut fingers” and “Butternut wouldn’t melt in their mouth” and “Float like a butternut, sting like a bee.”
  • Heart → Heartnut: As in, “A man after my own heartnut” and “Absence makes the heartnut grow fonder” and “An affair of the heartnut” and “After your own heartnut” and “Be still my beating heartnut” and “Break your heartnut” and “A change of heartnut” and “Do it by heartnut” and “Cross my heartnut and hope to die” and “Eat your heartnut out” and “Follow your heartnut” and “From the bottom of my heartnut” and “Get to the heartnut of the matter” and “Got your heartnut set on” and “Harden your heartnut against” and “Have a heartnut.”
  • Bunya: These are nuts that grow on bunya pines. Here are some related puns:
    • On ya/on your → Bunya: As in, “Bunya bike” and “Bunya wedding day” and “Not bunya life.”
    • Bun → Bunya: As in, “Bunya in the oven” and “We’re going to need bigger bunyas” and “Hot cross bunyas.”
  • Corn* → Acorn*: As in, “Acorner the market” and “Acornflower blue” and “The naughty acorner” and “Just around the acorner” and “Cut acorners.”
  • Fruit: Nuts are actually considered to be fruits, so we’ve got some fruit-related puns here for you:
    • *fut* → *fruit*: As in, “Think about your fruiture” and “Resistance is fruitile!” and “A fruituristic building” and “Sleeping on the fruiton” and “An irrefruitable argument.” Other words that could work: refruit (refute) and fruitility (fruitility).
    • Frat* → Fruit*: As in, “Fruiternity house” and “Fruiternal twins” and “Fruiternising with the enemy.”
    • Fret* → Fruit*: Fruitting (fretting), fruitwork (fretwork) and fruitful (fretful). Note: fretwork is a type of ornamental carving. This could work especially well for making puns about carved fruit decorations that are on cakes (very specific, we know).
    • Fruit: We’ll finish this little section off with some fruit-related phrases that could double as puns: “Be fruitful and multiply” and “Bear fruit” and “Forbidden fruit” and “Fruits of your labour” and “Low hanging fruit” and “The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
  • Shell: Nuts are composed of a seed within a shell, so we’ve included some shell-related puns too:
    • Celebration→ Shellebration: As in “After finishing we should have a shellebration.”
    • Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish (selfish).
    • *sel → *shell: Words ending in “sel” can often be punned upon with “shell”: vesshell (vessel), tasshell (tassel), weashell (weasel), musshell (mussel), etc.
    • *sel* → *shell*: Words containing “sel” can yeild nice puns on “shell”: Hershellf, himshellf, themshellves, itshellf, myshellf, yourshelf, yourshelves, convershelly, counshelling, preshellected, overshelling, undershelling, ushellessely, weashelling.
    • Shall→ Shell: As in “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He who lives by the sword shell die by the sword.”
    • *cial → *shell: When a word has “cial” as a suffix, this suffix can usually be swapped out for “shell” to create a shell pun: soshell (social), speshell (special), offishell (official), finanshell, commershell, crushell, judishell, artifishell, provinshell, rashell, benefishell, superfishell, fashell, glashell, sacrifishel, antisoshell.
    • Sell → Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”
    • Hell → Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”
  • Seed: Nuts are also considered to be seeds, so we’ve got some seed-related puns here for you:
    • *sid* → *seed*: As in, “A walk on the wild seed,” and “It’s inseedious (insidious),” and “That, and more beseeds (besides),” and “Where are the reseedents (residents)?” and “All things conseedered (considered),” and “Always look on the bright seed of life,” and “Batting for the other seed,” and “Be on the safe seed,” and “Born on the wrong seed of the tracks,” and “Cross over to the other seed,” and “Err on the safe seed,” and “The flip seed,” and “Inseed information,” and “An inseed joke,” and “Inseed out,” and “A kick up the backseed,” and “On the plus seed,” and “On the downseed,” and “All kidding aseed,” and “Fall by the wayseed,” and “A ringseed seat,” and “Take it outseed,” and “Turn upseed down,” and “Think outseed the box.”
    • Seed: As in, “Gone to seed,” and “Seed capital,” and “Seed money,” and “Plant a seed.”
    • *cid* → *seed*: As in, coinseed (coincide), deseed (decide), fanseed (fancied), germiseed (germicide), and pestiseed (pesticide).
    • *ced* → *seed*: As in, seedar (cedar), conseed (concede), preseed (precede), superseed (supercede), preseedent (precendent). Notes: to supercede is to replace. A precedent is an established guide or principle. 
    • *ceed → *seed: As in, proseed, sucseed, exseed
  • Can all → Kernel: As in, “You kernel get lost.”
  • Butter: Since it’s very common to make butters out of nuts (almond butter, peanut butter, cashew butter etc), we’ve included butter in this list as well:
    • Barter → Butter: As in, “Trade and butter economy.”
    • Better → Butter: As in, “I’ve got a butter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do butter” and “Appealing to your butter judgement” and “My butter half” and “Butter late than never” and “Butter luck next time” and “Butter safe than sorry” and “Butter than sex” and “Butter than new” and “I’ve changed for the butter” and “I couldn’t have said it butter” and “For butter or worse” and “Get the butter of” and “I should have known butter.”
    • But her → Butter: As in, “Butter suitcase! It’s been left behind!” (a very specific pun)
    • Patter → Butter: As in, “The pitter butter of little feet.”
    • But → Butter: As in, “Butter seriously” and “Butter heads” and “Butter out” and “Down, butter not out” and “Everything butter the kitchen sink” and “Kick butter” and “No butters” and “Last butter not least” and “Gone, butter not forgotten.”
    • Potter → Butter: As in, “Harry Butter” and “Buttering about.”
  • Oil: Nut oil is also a very common product, so we’ve included oil-related puns and phrases:
    • I’ll → Oil: As in, “Well, oil be” and “Oil say!” and “Ask me no questions, oil tell you no lies” and “Oil be back” and “Oil never tell” and “You scratch my back and oil scratch yours.”
    • All → Oil: As in “Can’t we oil just get along?” and “Oil in a day’s work.” and “Oil part of life’s rich tapestry” and “It’s oil Greek to me.” and “It’s oil downhill form here” and “It’s oil fun and games until someone gets hurt” and “It’s oil gone pear shaped” and “It’s oil good” and “It’s oil good clean fun” and “It’s oil me me me” and “That’s oil well and good, but …” and “Oil kidding aside, …” and “Above oil, …” and “Against oil odds” and “Oil shapes and sizes” and “Oil that glitters is not gold” and “Oil the rage” and “Oil the world’s a stage” and “Oil things being equal” and “Oil thumbs” and “Oil’s well that ends well” and “At oil costs” and “By oil appearances” and “By oil accounts” and “Cover oil your bases” and “From oil corners of the globe” and “I haven’t got oil day” and “In oil honesty” and “In oil likelihood” and “It’s oil the same to me” and “Jack of oil trades” and “I don’t know oil the answers” and “Not oil it’s cracked up to be” and “He’s not oil there” and “Once and for oil” and “Don’t put oil your eggs in one basket” – And there are many more oil puns that can be made along these lines.
    • Aisle → Oil: As in, “Walk down the oil” and “Cleanup on oil three.”
    • *oil*: Words which contain the “oil” sound (or similar) can be silly oil puns: spoiled, spoils, soiled, turmoil, toiletries, gargoil (gargoyle), foil, recoil.
  • Raw: We have some puns to emphasise and joke about raw nuts:
    • Roar → Raw: As in, “A rawing trade” and “The mighty lion raws.”
    • Rew* → Raw*: As in, “Your eternal raward” and “An essay rawrite” and “A rawarding career.”
    • Periwinkle → Perawinkle (note: periwinkle is a shade of bluish purple).
    • Row* → Raw*: As in, rawdy (rowdy), rawing (rowing) and rawboat (rowboat).
    • *rar* → *raw*: As in, “It rawly (rarely) happens” and “A true rawity (rarity)” and “Arbitrawy decisions” and “Contemporawry art” and “Holiday itinerawry” and “From the librawry.” Other words you could use: contrawry (contrary) and registraw (registrar).
    • *rer* → *raw*: As in, bearaw (bearer), sorceraw (sorcerer), exploraw (explorer), manufacturaw (manufacturer), labouraw (labourer), lecturaw (lecturer), wanderaw (wanderer) and treasuraw (treasurer).
    • *ror* → *raw*: As in, “Look in the mirraw” and “A holy terraw” and “The emperaw‘s new clothes” and “Margin of erraw (error)” and “A mask of horraw” and “Aurawra borealis.”
    • *rau* → *raw*: As in, “A rawcous (raucous) party” and “Rawnchy videos” and “Frawt (fraught) with danger” and “Arrested for frawd” and “Feeling distrawt (distraught).” Other words you could use: trawma (trauma), hydrawlic (hydraulic), frawdulent (fraudulent) and marawder (marauder).
    • *raw*: With these puns, you can simply emphasise the “raw” in certain words: draw, withdraw, straw, redraw, drawer, crawl, withdrawal, brawl and drawn.
    • Round* → Rawnd*: As in, “Rawnd and rawnd” and “In a rawndabout way.”
  • Roast: So we can make puns about roasted nuts, we have some roast-related puns here for you:
    • Rest → Roast: As in, “At roast,” and “Come to roast,” and “A cut above the roast,” and “Eternal roast,” and “For the roast of us,” and “For the roast of your life,” and “Give it a roast,” and “I roast my case,” and “Laid to roast,” and “No roast for the wicked” and “Roast assured,” and “The roast is history,” and “You’ve seen the roast.”
    • Arrest → A roast: As in “You are under a roast.” and “He was charged with resisting a roast.” and “Citizen’s a roast.”
    • *rest → *roast: As in, “In the interoast of justice,” and “Make it interoasting,” and “Nearoast and dearoast,” and “Mud wroastling,” and “On the croast of a wave,” and “Imitation is the sinceroast form of flattery,” and “May you live in interoasting times.”
    • *rust* → *roast*: As in, “Roastle (rustle) up,” and “Upper croast (crust),” and “Don’t troast (trust) anyone,” and “Troast is a two-way street.”
  • Allegory → Allergy: As in, “A political allergy.”

Nut-Related Words

To help you come up with your own nut puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

types: nut, peanut, almond, chestnut, brazil, hazelnut, macadamia, cashew, acorn, almond, pecan, pistachio, walnut, pine, candlenut, kola, palm, betel, coconut, butternut, heartnut, gingko, bunya, soybean

general: fruit, shell, seed, kernel, butter, oil, raw, roasted, snack, allergy, hickory

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