Milk Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on milk puns! 🥛🌱

Milk is loved both as a drink on its own, and as an addition to (or a base for) other drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and milkshakes. It’s also popular as a condiment of sorts, with many dipping chocolates or cookies (or biscuits, depending where you are in the world) in their milk.

Unfortunately, the industry that produces milk is not so wholesome – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of dairy-free milk options (sometimes called “mylk”) that we can enjoy instead.

Apart from the taste, a lot of people are convinced of the health benefits of milk, the main one being calcium. Not only does a glass of milk have less calcium than we might initially think (less than a bowl of spinach or kale), but our ability to digest and actually benefit from the calcium in milk is debatable. There are plenty of other foods that we can derive our daily calcium from.

Whether you’re here for a witty instagram caption, a quick one-liner for your tinder date or facebook argument, we hope that you find the milk pun that you need.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, chocolate punscheese puns, ice cream puns and coffee puns, and have chocolate and cereal puns coming soon too!

Milk Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about milk that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of milk puns:

  • Utter → Udder: As in, “Udderly inconsiderate.”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Milk: These milk-related phrases are general enough to work as puns: “Mild as milk” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk” and “Land of milk and honey” and “Milk dry” and “Milk it for all it’s worth” and “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
  • Note: all of these milk puns could also work for “mylk”, which is the term for non-dairy milks (or mylks!)
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This was no cowincidence.”
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntry,  cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Mikayla → Milkayla
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.” Note: pasteurization is a sterilisation process.
  • Lack those → Lactose: As in, “I can’t drink milk as I lactose enzymes required to digest it.” Note: lactose is a sugar found in milk, which many people aren’t able to digest or tolerate.
  • Litre: In some countries, milk is sold in litres/liters, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Later → Litre: As in, “Buy now, pay litre” and “Catch you litre” and “It’s litre than you think” and “Sooner or litre” and “Can we continue this litre?”
    • Letter → Litre: As in, “Four litre word” and “Chain litre” and “Litre perfect” and “Litre to the editor” and “To the litre” and “I’ll send you a litre.”
    • Lighter → Litre: As in, “The litre way to enjoy chocolate” and “Feeling litre than air” and “Litre than a feather” and “Feeling litre than before.”
    • *liter* → *litre*: As in, “Yes, I meant that litreally” and “It’s all in the litreature” and “Don’t have to be so litreal about it” and “Litreacy rates across America.” Other words you could use: litreate (literate), oblitreate (obliterate) and illitreate (illiterate).
    • Collateral → Collitre-al: As in, “Collitre-al damage.”
    • *lete → *litre: As in, “You’ve made a complitre mess of it” and “That product is obsolitre” and “Deplitred (depleted) funds” and “Delitre the files” and “Built like an athlitre.” Other words that could work: replitre (replete), incomplitre (incomplete) and complitrely (completely).
  • Lait: “Lait” is French for milk, and is a common word in the coffee-drinking community (as in, “cafe au lait”). Here are a few silly puns that involve the word “lait”:
    • Late → Lait: Lait is actually pronounced without the “t” at the end, so this isn’t a perfect pun but it can still work quite well: “Better lait than never” and “Buy now, pay laiter” and “Fashionably lait” and “A day lait and a dollar short” and “It’s never too lait” and “A lait bloomer” and “Lait in the day/game” and “Running lait.”
    • Lay → Lait: As in, “Couldn’t lait a finger on” and “Lait a trap” and “Lait down roots” and “Lait eyes on” and “Lait down your arms.”
    • *lay* → *lait*: As in, “Let’s plait!” and “Could you relait the situation?” and “On full displait” and “Unforseen delaits (delays)” and “An ornate jade inlait” and “It’s okay to hate the plaiter (player) AND the game.” Other words: waylait (waylay) and slait (slay).
    • *ly → *lait: As in, “A familait (family) matter” and “A full assemblait (assembly)” and “Yes, probablait.” Other words that could work: arguablait (arguably), inevitablait (inevitably), presumablait (presumably), notablait (notably), possiblait (possibly), bubblait (bubbly), publiclait (publicly), friendlait (friendly), hardlait (hardly), badlait (badly) and kindlait (kindly).
  • Pint: Some countries still sell milk measured in pints, so we’ve included some pint-related puns here:
    • Point → Pint: As in, “At this pint in time” and “Beside the pint” and “Brownie pints” and “Drive your pint home” and “Get right to the pint” and “Jumping off pint” and “Not to put too fine a pint on it” and “I see your pint of view” and “Pint out” and “Pint the finger at” and “A talking pint” and “The sticking pint” and “Case in pint” and “The finer pints of” and “The pint of no return.”
    • Pants → Pints: As in, “Ants in their pints” and “Beat the pints off” and “By the seat of your pints” and “Fancy pints” and “Keep your pints on” and “Pints on fire” and “Smarty pints.”
    • Pent → Pint: As in, “Pint up rage.”
    • Pin → Pint: As in, “Bright/clean/neat as a new pint” and “Hard to pint down” and “Pint your ears back” and “Pint the tail on the donkey.”
    •  *pet* → *pint*: As in, “Don’t use that pintulant (petulant) tone with me” and “Perpintual motion machine” and “A compintent (competent) worker.” Other words: impintus (impetus), compintition (competition) and compintence (competence). Note: an impetus is something that compels or encourages you to do something.
    • *pant* → *pint*: As in, “Nothing in the pintry” and “Pinting with fear” and “Disease is rampint” and “A flippint attitude.” Other words that could work: pintomime (pantomime), participint (participant) and occupint (occupant).
    • *pent* → *pint*: As in, “Pinthouse suite” and “Repint for your sins!” Other words: serpint (serpent), pintagram (pentagram) and carpinter (carpenter).
    • Paint → Pint: As in, “A lick of pint” and “A picture pints a thousand words” and “As boring as watching pint dry” and “Body pinting” and “Do I have to pint you a picture?” and “Finger pinting” and “Pint the town red” and “Pinting by numbers.”
  • Skim: Skim milk is where all of the cream is removed from whole milk, and is very low in fat. Here are some skim milk puns:
    • Scam → Skim: As in, “Skim artist.”
    • Slim → Skim: As in, “Skim pickings” and “The real skim shady.”
    • Swim → Skim: As in, “Sink or skim” and “Going skimmingly” and “Skim against the tide” and “Skim with sharks” and “Skim upstream.”
    • Scum → Skim: This is a bit of a stretch but can still work, as in: “Pond skim” and “Skim always rises to the surface.”
  • Cream: Cream is the part of milk that determines the fat content, and “full cream” is another type of milk, so we’ve included cream puns here for you:
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
  • Whole: Whole milk is the term for milk that hasn’t had anything removed from it (like fat). Here are some wholly bad puns for you to use in reference to it:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Fire in the whole!” and “A whole in one” and “Whole in the wall” and “Wholed up” and “Picking wholes in.”
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “Please whole’d the line” and “A whole-istic healing approach” and “Whole-low inside” and “On wholeiday” and “A wholey (holy) offering” and “Beauty is in the eye of the bewholeder” and “Alcowhole content” and “Menth-whole flavoured” and “Crossing the thresh-whole‘d (threshold).”
  • Hi-Lo: Hi-lo (or HiLo) milk is reduced fat – so “high in calcium, low in fat.” Here are some related puns:
    • Hello → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo, big boy” and “You had me at hi-lo” and “Hi-lo hi-lo, what’s going on here then?”
    • Hollow → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo eyed” and “A hi-lo goodbye.”
  • Sour: Sour milk is a common enough phenomenon for us to include here:
    • *sar* → *sour*: As in, “A sourdonic (sardonic) reply” and “Sourcasm isn’t helpful” and “No need to be sourcastic” and “Caesour salad” and “That’s not necessoury” and “Wedding anniversoury” and “A strong adversoury” and “Read the glossoury.” Note: to be sardonic is to be mocking or cynical.
    • *ser* → *sour*: As in, “At your sourvice” and “A sourious conversation” and “Filled with peace and sourenity” and “Close your browsour tabs” and “Brings us closour together” and “Teasour trailer.”
    • *sor* → *sour*: As in, “Filled with sourrow” and “What sourcery is this!” and “I’m sourry” and “I don’t need the sourdid details” and “Trip advisour” and “University professour.” Other words that could work: sponsour (sponsor), supervisour (supervisor), processour (processor), censour (censor) and consourtium (consortium). Note: a consortium is business partnership, or an association between institutions.
    • *sur* → *sour*: As in, “A quick sourvey” and “A sourreal situation” and “As far as I can sourmise” and “On the sourface” and “Recovering from sourgery” and “Sourrogate mother” and “What a sourprise.”
  • Farm: Since milk is from farms, we’ve got some farm-related puns here. We’d also like to note that while happy cows being milked by hand on a friendly farm is a nice idea, that is not how farms (even free-range ones) operate.
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Farmly planted” and “A farm tone of voice.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “Defence is the best farm of offence” and “Bad farm” and “Farm follows function” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “In fine farm” and “The lowest farm of wit” and “Not in any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm.”
    • From → Farm: As in, “A little farm column a, a little farm column b” and “A week farm next Tuesday” and “Farm a nice place” and “Come in farm the cold” and “Cut farm the same cloth” and “Fall farm grace” and “Farm a mile away” and “Farm a to z” and “Farm cover to cover” and “You’ll have to pry it farm my cold, dead hands” and “Farm soup to nuts” and “With love, farm…”
    • Charm → Farm: As in, “Farm the birds out of the trees” and “A farmed life” and “Southern farm” and “Third time’s a farm” and “Works like a farm.”
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “Friends and farmily” and “Seems farmiliar” and “Almost farmous” and “40 hour farmine” and “I’m farmished!” Other words: infarmy (infamy), infarmous (infamous) and defarmation (defamation). Note: infamy is a reputation (or fame) or evil.
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul.”
    • Infomercial → Infarmercial
    • *form* → *farm*: farmidable (formidable), farmula (formula), farmer (former), farmat (format), farmal (formal), farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), confarm (conform), infarm (inform), platfarm (platform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • Pharmacy → Farmacy
  • Spoil: If milk is off/expired, it’s referred to as spoiled, so here are some related puns:
    • Boil → Spoil: As in, “Spoiling with rage” and “It all spoils down to” and “Bring to the spoil” and “A watched pot never spoils” and “Spoil over.”
    • Spell → Spoil: As in, “How do you spoil…” and “You’ll have to spoil it out” and “Be under [someone’s] spoil” and “Break the spoil.”
    • Spill → Spoil: As in, “Spoil the beans” and “Spoil your guts” and “Thrills and spoils.”
    • Gospel → Gospoil: As in, “The gospoil truth.”
  • Choc: We all love choc milk, so it’s earned a place in this list. Choc milk is so popular that you may get away with using just the word “choc” as a reference to milk (here’s a nice chocolate milk recipe for you to try as well):
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Shake: Since milkshakes are such a popular milk drink, you may get away with using “shake” to refer to “milkshakes” in your wordplay:
    • Shock → Shake: As in, “Culture shake” and “In for a shake” and “In shake” and “Shell-shaked” and “Shake and awe.”
    • Ache → Shake: As in, “Old shakes and pains” and “Splitting headshake.”
    • Sake → Shake: As in, “For heaven’s/goodness shake” and “For old time’s shake.”
  • Kefir: Kefir is a fairly recent probiotic, milk-based drink. Here are some related puns:
    • Key for → Kefir: “This is the kefir the back door.”
    • Keep her → Kefir: “Being able to draw helps kefir spirits up.”
  • Soy milk: Soy milk is perhaps the most widespread (and cheap) non-dairy milk available and comes in different flavours. Here are some related puns:
      • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
      • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”
      • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
      • Thesaurus → Thesoyrus
      • *so* → *soy*: espressoy (espresso), virtuosoy (virtuoso), esoyteric (esoteric), philosoyphy (philosophy), resoylution (resolution), soylution (solution), soyphisticated (sophisticated) and soydium (sodium).
  • Almond milk: As almond milk is another popular type of milk, we’ve got some almond puns here too (and here’s a popular almond milk brand):
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Rice milk: Another readily available dairy-free milk option which we’ve included a few puns for here:
    • Raise → Rice: As in, “Rice a stink” and “Rice hell” and “Rice the bar” and “Rice the roof.”
    • Race → Rice: As in, “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rice to the bottom” and “Rat rice.”
  • Owed → Oat: As in, “Give me what I am oat!” Note: this is a reference to oat milk.
  • Contents → Condensed: As in, “Let me check the condensed” and “Have you read the condensed section?” and “Home and condensed insurance.” Note: this is a reference to condensed milk.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in milk and dairy products.
  • Curdle: If milk is really off, it can curdle. Here are some terrible and related puns:
    • Hurdle → Curdle: “Fall at the last curdle” and “Clearing all the curdles.”
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
  • Breast: Well, this is where milk comes from, so it seemed wrong to not include breast puns (keep ’em respectful) here too:
    • Best → Breast: As in, “All the breast” and “Be the breast” and “Breast friends forever” and “Breast in show” and “Breast of all” and “Breast practice” and “Bring out the breast in me” and “Doing what we do breast” and “Honesty is the breast policy” and “Hope for the breast” and “Living well is the breast revenge” and “Nothing but the breast” and “On your breast behaviour.”
    • Pressed → Breast: As in, “Breast for time/money.”
    • *best* → *breast*: As in, “The greatest honour I could breastow” and “Breastselling novel.”
    • *pressed* → *breast*: As in, “Deeply imbreast (impressed)” and “Subbreast (suppressed) feelings” and “I exbreast (expressed) my emotions to her” and “An unimbreast (unimpressed) tone.”
    • Prestige → Breastige
  • Memory → Mammary: As in, “Down mammary lane” and “In living mammary” and “Mammary lapse” and “Mammary like a sieve” and “Thanks for the mammaries.” Note: mammaries are the milk-secreting organs in breasts.

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Milk-Related Words

To help you come up with your own milk puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

milk, cow, udder, dairy, litre, pint, skim, full, cream, full cream, whole, hi-lo, lowfat, pasteurised, homogenised, UHT, lactose, farm, chocolate, strawberry, banana, milkshake, kefir, soy, almond, coconut, hazelnut, macadamia, rice, oat, leche, lait, rotten, spoiled, expired, lactate, evaporated, condensed, sour, mylk, goat, sheep, yak, buffalo, curdled, casein, breast

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Bread Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on bread puns! 🍞 Bread is one of the more popular topics for word play on the internet, probably because there are so many different types of breads, all with unusual foreign names that are great for making puns with. This entry covers all the well-known bread puns, plus quite a few more that haven’t been used-to-death yet. It also includes toast puns and until Punpedia gets big enough to warrant distinct entries for them, this is the entry for baking puns / bakery puns too.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food puns, donut puntspasta puns, potato puns, cooking puns, cake puns and pizza puns.

Bread Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about bread that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • She better → Ciabatta: The term “ciabatta” is pronounced like “shi-batta” and refers to a floury-crusted Italian bread. Examples: “Ciabatta study hard if she wants to pass the test.” and “Ciabatta be quick, we’re nearly sold out!”
  • None → Naan: As in “I don’t want naan of that.” and “A jack of all trades and a master of naan.” and “Naan the wiser.” and “Naan of your business!” and “Second to naan.”
  • No one → Naan: As in “Naan’s home at the moment, but you can leave a message after the tone.”
  • Nan → Naan: As in, “Meet my naan,” and “My naan’s a great cook.”
  • Grain: As in “I’m going to go against the grain here and say …” and “There’s a grain of truth in what he’s saying.” and “I’d take it with a grain of salt.”
  • Rain → Grain: As in, “Right as grain,” and “Chasing grainbows,” and “Come grain or shine,” and “Grain on my parade,” and “Make it grain,” and “Graindrops keep falling on my head,” and “Graining cats and dogs,” and “Singin’ in the grain,” and “Somewhere over the grainbow,” and “Spitting with grain.” Notes: to chase rainbows is to go after unrealistic things. To rain on someone’s parade is to ruin a happy moment for them.
  • Grey → Grain: As in, “Fifty shades of grain,” and “A grain area,” and “Grain is the new black,” and “Grain matter,” and “Shades of grain.” Note: shades of grey refers to the complexity of a situation.
  • Brain → Grain: As in, “All brawn and no grains,” and “Beat your grains out,” and “Grain dead,” and “Grain fart,” and “Grain teaser,” and “Grain wave,” and “Grainstorming session,” and “Got it on the grain,” and “Hare grained,” and “A no-grainer,” and “Pick your grains,” and “Rack your grains,” and “It’s not grain surgery.”
  • Grind → Grain-d: As in, “Bump and grain-d,” and “Daily grain-d,” and “Grain-d down,” and “Grain-d to a halt,” and “Nose to the grain-dstone,” and “Don’t like the bastards grain-d you down.” Note: to have your nose to the grindstone is to work hard.
  • Gain → Grain: As in, “Capital grains,” and “Grain an advantage,” and “Ill-gotten grains,” and “No pain, no grain,” and “Nothing ventured, nothing grained.” Note: a capital gain is a profit from the sale of a capital asset (like stock or real estate).
  • *gain* → *grain*: As in, “Agrainst all odds,” and “Agrainst the clock,” and “Bar-grain basement,” and “Come a-grain?” and “A fool’s bar-grain,” and “Here we go a-grain,” and “More than you bar-grained for,” and “Now and a-grain,” and “A race agrainst time,” and “You can say that a-grain,” and “Back agrainst the wall.”
  • *ray* → *grain*: Change the “ray” sound in some words to “grain”: grain-ciously (graciously), engrainve (engrave), grain-dation (gradation), grain-dient (gradient), immi-grain-tion (immigration), ingrain-dient (ingredient).
  • Serial → Cereal: As in “There’s a cereal killer on the loose.”
  • Surreal → Cereal: As in “The view from the summit was cereal.” and “I love impressionism and cereal art.”
  • Stone → Scone: As in “The philosopher’s scone.” and “Leave no scone unturned.” and “Sticks and scones may break my bones …”
  • Its/It’s going → ‘Scone: As in “Scone to be a lot of fun!” and “Scone swimmingly.”
  • Its/It’s gone → ‘Scone: As in “It’s not coming back son. Scone.” and “Scone worse than we expected.”
  • *s can’t → Scone’t: “This scone’t go on much longer.”
  • Wheat: As in, “Separate the wheat from the chaff.” Note: to separate the wheat from the chaff is to separate the valuable from the worthless.
  • White → Wheat: As in, “A wheater shade of pale,” and “A wheat knight,” and “Wheat as a ghost,” and “Wheat as a sheet,” and “Great wheat shark,” and “Like wheat on rice,” and “Little wheat lie,” and “Men in wheat coats,” and “Not everything is black and wheat,” and “Wheat water rafting.” Note: like white on rice refers to a very close situation.
  • Sweet → Swheat: As in, “Home swheat home,” and “Swheat dreams,” and “Swheat nothings,” and “A swheat tooth,” and “Swheaten the pot,” and “Swheaten the deal,” and “Swheatheart,” and “Take the bitter with the swheat,” and “Short but swheat.”
  • Sweat → Swheat: As in, “Blood, swheat and tears,” and “Beads of swheat,” and “Break out in a cold swheat,” and “Don’t swheat it,” and “Running with swheat,” and “My new swheater,” and “Swheating bullets,” and “Swheat it out.”
  • Weight → Wheat: As in, “Pull your wheat,” and “Punching above your wheat,” and “Throw your wheat around,” and “Watch your wheat,” and “A wheat off my mind,” and “Worth your wheat in gold,” and “A dead wheat.”
  • *ate* → *wheat*: As in, evacu-wheat (evacuate), fluctu-wheat (fluctuate), and gradu-wheat (graduate).
  • Wait → Wheat: As in “Wheat a second…” and “I am lying in wheat.” and “Wheat and see.”
  • We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
  • We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
  • What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
  • Bred → Bread: As in “Perfect table manners! You’re well bread.” and “My dog is a pure bread.”
  • Brad → Bread: As in “When’s Bread Pitt’s next film coming out?”
  • Bread: As in: “Bread always falls butter side down,” and “Bread and butter,” and “Bread of life,” and “Break bread,” and “Half a loaf is better than no bread,” and “Have your bread buttered on both sides,” and “Put bread on the table,” and “Take bread out of someone’s mouth,” and “The greatest thing since sliced bread,” and “A hair’s breadth.”
  • Read → B-read: As in, “All I know is what I b-read in the papers,” and “Exceedingly well b-read,” and “A good b-read,” and “B-read any good books lately?” and “I can b-read you like a book,” and “A bit of light b-reading,” and “B-read ’em and weep,” and “B-read between the lines,” and “B-read my lips,” and “At the b-ready,” and “I can’t b-read minds.”
  • Bed → Bread: As in, “Bread and breakfast,” and “A bread of nails,” and “Between you, me and the breadpost,” and “Get into bread with,” and “Get out of the wrong side of the bread,” and “You’ve made your bread, now lie in it,” and “Don’t go to bread on an argument,” and “Breadtime,” and “In bread with,” and “Wet the bread,” and “Get out of bread!” Notes: if something is between you, me and the bedpost, then it’s a secret. 
  • Bled → Bread: As in, “My papercut bread all over the place.”
  • Bride → Bread: As in, “Always the breadsmaid, never a bread,” and “Blushing bread,” and “Bread to be,” and “Father of the bread,” and “Here comes the bread.” 
  • Roll: As in “We’re on a roll!” and “Ready to roll?” and “She’s a great roll model.” and “Traditional gender rolls are lame.” and “Did she make the honour roll?”
  • Loaf: As in “Stop loafing around! Get up and do something!” (To “loaf” is to waste time and laze about)
  • Laugh → Loaf: As in “Loafter is the best medicine.” and “And he loafed right in my face.” and “I’m loafing my head off.”
  • Love → Loaf: As in “I loaf you <3″ and “The world needs more loaf.”
  • Life → Loaf: As in “Loaf is like a box of chocolates.” and “All walks of loaf.” and “It was a loaf-changing experience.” and “As large as loaf.” and “Living the high loaf.” and “Hold on for dear loaf!” and “Loaf coach” and “Loaf in the fast lane.” and “Loaf support.” and “Loaf’s too short.” and “I had the time of my loaf!”
  • Rap → Wrap: As in “That was an epic wrap battle.” (Playing on the flat-bread sandwich alternative)
  • Rapper → Wrapper: “She hit it big and is now a world famous wrapper.”
  • Do not → Donut: As in “I donut want to get into a pun battle with you.” and “Donut tempt me.”
  • Bit of (Bit ‘a) → Pita: “Don’t make a blind pita difference.”
  • Why → Rye: “Rye do you ask?” and “Rye do bread puns make me giggle?” and “Rye hast thou forsaken me?” and “Rye are you doing this to me?”
  • Wry → Rye: “A rye smile.” and “With rye Scottish wit.” (Rye is a type of grain used to make bread)
  • Rye: Words that contain the “rye” sound can be made into terribly silly bread puns: alryete, bryete, Bryean (Bryan), circumscryebed, compryesed, contryeved, copyryete, cryesis, cryeterion, cryeme, dryevers, descryebe, enterpryese, depryeved, fryeday, fryed, fryetened, pryeceless, pryemarily, pryevacy, pryeority, pryez, ryenocerous, ryeteous, ryetfully, ryevalries, samurye, subscryebed, surpryesingly, tryeangle, ryeting, tryeumph, rye-fle.
  • Riled up→ Rye-led up: As in “Jeez, calm down. No need to get rye-led up!”
  • Least→ Yeast: As in “Last, but not yeast.” and “Yeast common denominator.” and “It’s the yeast I could do.”
  • East→ Yeast: As in “I’m heading over yeast for a holiday.”
  • Need → Knead: As in “Only on a knead-to-know basis.” and “A friend in knead is a friend indeed.” and “You knead your head examined.”
  • Needy → Kneady: As in “He’s a bit kneady.”
  • Kneed → Knead: As in “He was knead in the chest during his rugby match.”
  • Get → Baguette: As in “Buy one, baguette one free.” and “I think I can baguette away with it.” and “Baguette cracking!” and “I’m trying to baguette into the habit of it.” and “Baguette out of my hair!”
  • Forget → Baguette: As in “Ahh, baguette it – you wouldn’t understand.” and “Lest we baguette.” and “Don’t baguette your towel!”
  • Toast: Can refer to the raising of glasses at a gathering to honour something: “Let’s call a toast.” It also has a slang usage: “You are toast.” Meaning “I’m going to beat you” at some competition (or physically).
  • *oast*→ *toast*: If a word contains the “toast” sound, a toast pun can sometimes be made: toastcard (postcard), toastess (hostess), toastline (coastline), toastdoctoral (postdoctoral), toastmortem (postmortem), toastmodern (postmodern), toastpone (postpone), Toastbusters.
  • Come → Crumb: As in “Crumb to think of it…” and “Crumb to your senses” and “Crumb again?” and “Crumb hell or high water.” and “Crumb out of your shell” and “Crumb rain or shine” and “Do you crumb here often?” and “An idea whose time has crumb.” and “The best is yet to crumb.” and “What has crumb over you?” and “Oh crumb on.”
  • Ban me → Bánh mì: The term “bánh mì” refers to any kind of Vietnamese bread. Examples: “What are you going to do? Bánh mì from making bread puns?”
  • Trust → Crust: As in “Crust me, I’m a doctor.” and “That was a breach of crust.” and “He’s a crustworthy young man.”
  • Christ → Crust: As in “Crust has fallen, crust has risen.” and “Crust is a main figurehead in western mythology.”
  • Crusty: This term can refer to someone (especially an older person) who is bad-tempered.
  • Rusty → Crusty: As in “My punning skills are a little crusty, sorry.”
  • Just → Crust: As in “It’s crust not my day today.” and “It’s crust around the corner.” and “Crust add water.” and “It’s crust a matter of time.”
  • Cust* → Crust*: If a word begins with “cust”, swap it with “crust”: crustodian, crustomer, crustom, crustomary, crustody, crustard, crustodial, crustomise, crustomarily.
  • *ust* → *crust*: If a word has the “ust”, it can sometimes be made into a crust pun: crustice (justice), crustification (justification), crustachioed (mustachioed), crustainable (sustainable), crustainability (sustainability).
  • Leaving → Leaven: “Leaven” is another term for “rising agent”: the ingredient added to make bread rise (usually yeast). Examples: “You’re leaven me here all by myself?” and “Oh, you’re leaven so early?!”
  • Rise: This is a reference to bread “rising” during the yeast fermentation process Examples: “More bread puns? I will rise to that challenge.” and “Rise from the ashes.” and “Rise and shine.” and “The sun has risen.”
  • Wasting time → Loafing around: As in “Stop loafing around and do something useful!”
  • Grainy: Other than referring to grain (the crop food, of course), this can refer to a texture or to a low resolution photograph: “Your profile picture is a bit grainy.”
  • Hot cross buns → Hot cross puns: This one’s a sort of “meta” bread pun.
  • Crumby: This is slang for “dirty”, “poor quality” and related concepts.
  • Money → Dough: The term “dough” is slang for money in some places.
  • *do*→ *dough*: Any word which contains the “dough” sound (or similar) can be made into an easy dough pun: abdoughmen (abdomen), Adoughbe (Adobe), adoughlescence, aficionadoughs, anecdoughtal, antidoughte, avacadough, bulldoughzer, commandough, condoughlences, crescendough (crescendo), doughmain, doughnation, doughnor, doughsage, doughze, Indoughnesian, innuendough, landoughners, Macedoughnian, overshadough, meadough, Orlandough, pseudough, shadough, taekwondough, tornadough, windough, widough, tuxedough.
  • Do→ Dough: As in “I dough what I can.” and “What are you doughing right now?”
  • Ingrained: As in “It was ingrained in me from a young age.”
  • *bun*: Words that contain the “bun” sound, or a similar sound can be made into a bread bun pun: absorbunt, abundance, abundantly, bunal (banal), bunality, bunevolence, bunignly, bunocular, bunanza, bourbun, bunch, bundle, bunny, bunting, bunyan, cabunets, combunation, cubun, disturbunce, husbund, incumbunts, Lebunon, Robunson, urbun, urbunization.
  • Pun → Bun: As in “No bun intended.”
  • *pun* → *bun*: Some words containing the “pun” sound can be made into terrible bread puns: particibunts (participants), perbundicular (perpendicular), Jabunese, occubunts (occupants), combunsation, bundits, bunishment, weabunry, sbunge (sponge).
  • Spread: As in “Spread your wings.” and “It spread like wildfire.” and “Stop spreading rumours.”
  • Slice: As in “It’s a lie no matter how you slice it.” and “Slice of the action”.
  • Awry → A rye: As in “Many youthful romances go a rye” and “I got the impression that something was a rye.”
  • Inbred → Inbread: As in “Inbread dogs are more likely to be unhealthy.”
  • Loafers: As in “My new pair of loafers are so cosy!”
  • Bed → Bread: As in “Bread and breakfast” and “Don’t let the bread bugs bite!”
  • Self-loathing → Self-loaving: As in “Excessive punning can lead to self-loaving.”
  • Hybrid → High bread: As in “I’m going to buy a high bread because it’s cheaper and more environmentally friendly.”
  • Jam: As in “My sandwich is jam-packed.” and “All seven of us were jammed into the same car.”
  • PunpernickelPumpernickel is a type of bread.
  • Patriarchy → Pastryarchy: As in “Down with the pastryarchy!” and “We live in a pastryarchy.”
  • Pain: France is famous for its breads and “pain” means “bread” in French, so this is an easy, but subtle pun.
  • Better → Butter: As in, “I’ve got a butter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do butter” and “Appealing to your butter judgement” and “My butter half” and “Butter late than never” and “Butter luck next time” and “Butter safe than sorry” and “Butter than sex” and “Butter than new” and “I’ve changed for the butter” and “I couldn’t have said it butter” and “For butter or worse” and “Get the butter of” and “I should have known butter.”
  • Barter → Butter: As in, “Trade and butter economy.”
  • But her → Butter: As in, “Butter suitcase! It’s been left behind!” (a very specific pun)
  • Patter → Butter: As in, “The pitter butter of little feet.”
  • But → Butter: As in, “Butter seriously” and “Butter heads” and “Butter out” and “Down, butter not out” and “Everything butter the kitchen sink” and “Kick butter” and “No butters” and “Last butter not least” and “Gone, butter not forgotten.”
  • Potter → Butter: As in, “Harry Butter” and “Buttering about.”
  • Better → Breader: As in “Breader off dead.” and “The sooner the breader.”
  • Sentences → Sandwiches: As in “It’s crazy! We always finish each others sandwiches.” (Made somewhat possible as a pun by the Disney movie “Frozen”)
  • Mild → Mould/Mold: As in “I had a mold distrust of this man.” and “I’m moldly annoyed.”
  • Old → Mould/Mold: As in “Out with the mold and in with the new.” and “Up to your mold tricks I see.” and “The good mold days.”
  • Call her → Challah: This is a special type of Jewish ceremonial bread that is pronounced like “ka-la”. Example: “You should challah tonight when she finishes work.”
  • All of → Challah: As in “Challah these bread puns are cracking me up!”
  • Glue ten → Gluten: As in “If we gluten of these together we’ll have a nice chain of them.”
  • Even → Oven: As in “I don’t care about profit, I’ll be happy if we break oven.” and “Keep an oven keel.” and “I’m going to get oven with him.” Note: to keep an even keel is to keep something steady and balanced.
  • Often → Oven: As in “Do you come here oven?” and “Every so oven.”
  • Glaze: As in “The prospect makes my eyes glaze over with boredom.”
  • Graze → Glaze: As in “It just glazed the surface.” and “I’ll be fine, it’s just a glaze.”
  • Barely → Barley: As in “I’m barley getting by.” Note: barley is a type of cereal grain.
  • Waffle: As in “He just kept waffling on and on.”
  • Nothin’ → Muffin: As in “All or muffin.” and “Here goes muffin!” and “I will stop at muffin to …” and “You ain’t seen muffin yet.” and “We’ve got muffin in common.”
  • Make → Bake: As in “I can’t bake head or tail of it.” and “Enough to bake you sick.” and “Bake believe” and “It’ll bake a world of difference.” and “Just trying to bake ends meet.” and “Bake a name for yourself.”
  • Making → Baking: As in “A legend in the bakin’” and “This is history in the baking” and “You’re baking a fool of yourself.”
  • Floor → Flour: As in “A bread pun battle? I’ll mop the flour with you.”
  • Crap → Crepe: As in “I don’t give a crepe.” and “What a load of crepe.” and “Cut the crepe.”
  • Creepy → Crepe-y: As in “This music is crepe-y
  • Crack a → Cracker: As in “These baking puns made me cracker smile.”
  • Pan → Pen: “Pan” means bread in Japanese and Spanish. Examples: “The pan is mightier than the sword.” and “Put pan to paper.”
  • Brought → Brot: “Brot” means loaf in German. Examples: “I brot you into this world.” and “It was later brot to light that …”
  • Penny → Pane: “Pane” (pronounced “pahn-eh”) means bread in Italian. Examples: “Pane for your thoughts” and “It cost me a pretty pane.”
  • Flower → Flour: As in “Remember to stop and smell the flours.”
  • Adore → Adough: “I adough you.”
  • Don’t → Doughn’t: As in “Doughn’t fall for it.”
  • Though → Dough: As in “You look as dough you’ve seen a ghost!”
  • Hour → Flour: As in “We could go on for flours.” and “The plane leaves in one flour.” and “I’m on a flourly wage.”
  • Flair → Flour: As in, “A flour for the dramatic.”
  • Flir* → Flour*: As in, “Flourting with disaster” and “A real flourt.”
  • Flor* → Flour*: As in, “Floura and fauna” and “Floural arrangements.” Other words that could work: flourist (florist), Flourida (Florida), Flourence (Florence) and flourentine (florentine). Note: a florentine is a type of biscuit.)
  • Maze → Maize: As in “It’s a complicated maize to navigate.”
  • Amaze/amazing → Amaize/amaize-ing: As in, “What an amaize-ing effort!” and “You never cease to amaize me.”
  • *mise → *maize: As in, minimaize (minimise), surmaize (surmise), victimaize (victimise), compromaize (compromise), customaize (customise), maximaize (maximise).
  • Again → A grain: As in “Come a grain?” and “Never a grain.” and “Time and time a grain.” and “Now and a grain.”
  • Sour though → Sourdough: As in “The look he gave me was very sourdough.”
  • Puffy: As in “His eyes were puffy and full of tears.”
  • Red → Bread: As in “Walking down the bread carpet.” and “That was a bread herring.”
  • Ready → Bready: As in “Bready, get set, go!” and “Bready to roll.” and “Battle bready.” and “Get bready to rumble!” and “I was born bready.”
  • Readily → Breadily: As in “The island is breadily accessible by canoe.” and “I’ll breadily admit that I was wrong in that decision.”
  • Redhead → Breadhead: As in “Many of the greatest Scottish warriors were Breadheads.”
  • Head → Bread: As in “All the fame has gone to his bread.” and “You need to have your bread examined.” and “From bread to toe.” and “Keep your bread above water.” and “That went straight over my bread.” and “They both went bread to bread.” and “I couldn’t make bread or tail of it.”
  • Crumble: As in “Kingdoms will crumble.” and “The crumbling ruins.”
  • Rumble/Grumble → Crumble: As in “They hear the crumbling of the thunder. ” and “Talking about bread is making my stomach crumble.”
  • Its / It’s → Oats / Oat’s: As in “Oat’s just a matter of time.” and “Oat’s a shame.” and “Oat’s nothing personal” and “Oat’s worth oats weight in gold.” and “Takes oats toll.” and “A life of oats own.”
  • Ought → Oat: As in “You oat to say sorry.” and “Five minutes oat to be enough time.”
  • Sub: As in “That joke was sub-par.” and “It wasn’t terrible, just sub-optimal.”
  • Sub*: Words that start with “sub” (referencing the type of sandwich) are easy bread puns: sublime, submissive, subdivision, subcommittee, subconscious, subcontinent, subdue, subgroup, subjected, subject, subjectivity, submersible, submit, subscriber, subscription, subsequent, subliminal, subordinated, subsection, submarine, substance, substitution, subtract, subvert, suburbia, suburb, subtitles, subtraction, substrate, subsidy.
  • *sub*: If a word contains the “sub” sound, there could be a very forced bread pun opportunity: accessubility, admissuble, incomprehesuble, disubility, flexsubility, irresponsubility, possubility, enforsuble, taxsuble, unsubstantiated.
  • Stale: As in “All these bread memes are stale.”
  • Pun per nickel → Pumpernickel: As in “I could tell you more bread puns but it’ll be one punpernickel.”
  • Whole meal → Wholemeal: As in “Bread is great, but you should eat it with other foods, not as a wholemeal in itself.”
  • Homemade: Homemade bread may be impressed into people’s minds strongly enough to make a subtle use of “homemade” a bread pun.
  • Half-baked: This means “not completely planned or thought out”. For example: “Half-baked bread puns ought to be illegal.”
  • Rusty → Rusky: This refers to a hard “twice-baked” bread. Examples: “My bread pun skills are a little rusky.”
  • Pow → Pau: This is a type of Chinese steamed bun with filling. Words containing the “pow” sound can be simple pau puns: pauerpuff girls, pauerless, pauerful, pauder, pauerhouse, pauer, pauerboat.
  • Seedy: This is a describing word for someone or something that is morally questionable, foul, or dirty. Examples: “So many seedy people hanging around that place.”
  • Raise: As in “I’ve been working at the bakery for two years now and haven’t recieved a raise.” and “Raise the dead.”
  • Peace of mind → Pizza mind: Pizza puns can sometimes classify as bread puns, but it depends on the specific context.
  • Pit us → Pitas: As in “He’s trying to pitas against each other.”
  • Way back → Zweiback: This is a type of hard twice-baked bread. Its main pronunciation sounds like “swee-back” or “zwee-back” which sounds a bit like “way back”. Example: “Zweiback in the day, puns were cheap.”

Bread-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to bread can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the bread themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • loaf about
  • bread winner
  • it’s my bread and butter
  • born and bred
  • break bread
  • butter face
  • butter fingers
  • cake walk
  • cast bread upon the waters
  • crumb of comfort
  • knuckle sandwich
  • piece of cake
  • takes the cake
  • as flat as a pancake
  • as nutty as a fruit cake
  • the cherry on the cake
  • you can’t have your cake and eat it too
  • bread always falls buttered side down
  • put bread on the table
  • the best thing since sliced bread
  • you are toast
  • the toast of the town
  • one slice short of a loaf
  • take it with a grain of salt
  • go against the grain
  • hasn’t a grain of sense
  • she/he knows what side his bread is buttered on
  • that’s the way the cookie crumbles
  • drive for show and putt for dough
  • she’s/he’s on a roll
  • melt like butter
  • raking in the dough
  • separate the wheat from the chaff
  • rock and roll
  • a few sandwiches short of a picnic
  • upper crust
  • a baker’s dozen
  • against the grain

Bread-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of bread-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

stale, bake, baked, toasted, unleavened, leaven, crusty, French, moldy, wholemeal, multigrain, homemade, whole-wheat, wheat, grain, barley, rye, naan, sub, crumble, oat, bread, puffy, maize, flour, dough, baking, muffin, waffle, glaze, challah, gluten-free, brot, roti, butter, spread, jam, sandwich, pastry, pumpernickel, slice, bun, loaf, hot-cross buns, crust, bánh mì toast, baguette, knead, yeast, pita, donut, scone, roll, ciabatta, sourdough, crepe, glaze, white, brown, rusk, toaster, breadbasket, matzo, corn bread, pone, wafer, bagel, tortilla, manchet, French toast, challah, zwieback, brioche, chapati, fruitbread, ramekin, pizza, pita, focaccia, bannock, raise, rise, rising, soggy, crumpet, crummy, soda bread, pretzel, cake, slice, bread bin, chapatti, bakehouse, paste, breadcrumbs, fairy bread, bread knife, sub, submarine sandwich, burrito, margarine, yeast extract, cereal, flatbread, crouton, breadstick, durum, bread machine, leavening agent, crispbread, bran, starch, quinoa, pumpkin bread.

Bread Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny bread jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style bread jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to bread.

  • What did the baker say to his assistant after he caught him stealing money from the till? – That was a breach of crust.
  • What did the Indian chef say to the nosey employee? – It’s naan of your business!
  • Why doesn’t bread like warm weather? – Things get toasty!
  • Why aren’t bread jokes funny? – Because they always get mould.
  • What did the baker get for her mother on Mother’s Day? – Flours
  • What is a baker’s favourite Beatles song? – “Loaf is all you need”
  • When does sourdough bread rise? – When you yeast expect it.
  • What did the butter say to the bread? – I’m on a roll!
  • Why does everyone need bread and water? – Loaf makes the world go round.
  • What did one slice of bread say to the other slice of bread when he saw some butter and jam on the table? – We’re toast!
  • Why was the baker in a panic? – He was in a loaf or death situation.
  • What did the baker say to the lazy assistant? – Stop loafing around and get over here!
  • What did the baker’s assistant say to her partner after her first day on the job?  – It’s a crumb-y place to work.
  • How was the bakers assistant paid? – On a flourly wage.
  • What type of car did the baker buy? – A high bread car
  • Where did the baker get her baking skills? – They were in grained in her from a young age.

Bread Pun Images

Below is a collection of bread-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual bread puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

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