Milk Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on milk puns! 🥛🌱

Milk is loved both as a drink on its own, and as an addition to (or a base for) other drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and milkshakes. It’s also popular as a condiment of sorts, with many dipping chocolates or cookies (or biscuits, depending where you are in the world) in their milk.

Unfortunately, the industry that produces milk is not so wholesome – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of dairy-free milk options (sometimes called “mylk”) that we can enjoy instead.

Apart from the taste, a lot of people are convinced of the health benefits of milk, the main one being calcium. Not only does a glass of milk have less calcium than we might initially think (less than a bowl of spinach or kale), but our ability to digest and actually benefit from the calcium in milk is debatable. There are plenty of other foods that we can derive our daily calcium from.

Whether you’re here for a witty instagram caption, a quick one-liner for your tinder date or facebook argument, we hope that you find the milk pun that you need.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, chocolate punscheese puns, ice cream puns and coffee puns, and have chocolate and cereal puns coming soon too!

Milk Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about milk that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of milk puns:

  • Utter → Udder: As in, “Udderly inconsiderate.”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Milk: These milk-related phrases are general enough to work as puns: “Mild as milk” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk” and “Land of milk and honey” and “Milk dry” and “Milk it for all it’s worth” and “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
  • Note: all of these milk puns could also work for “mylk”, which is the term for non-dairy milks (or mylks!)
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This was no cowincidence.”
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntry,  cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Mikayla → Milkayla
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.” Note: pasteurization is a sterilisation process.
  • Lack those → Lactose: As in, “I can’t drink milk as I lactose enzymes required to digest it.” Note: lactose is a sugar found in milk, which many people aren’t able to digest or tolerate.
  • Litre: In some countries, milk is sold in litres/liters, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Later → Litre: As in, “Buy now, pay litre” and “Catch you litre” and “It’s litre than you think” and “Sooner or litre” and “Can we continue this litre?”
    • Letter → Litre: As in, “Four litre word” and “Chain litre” and “Litre perfect” and “Litre to the editor” and “To the litre” and “I’ll send you a litre.”
    • Lighter → Litre: As in, “The litre way to enjoy chocolate” and “Feeling litre than air” and “Litre than a feather” and “Feeling litre than before.”
    • *liter* → *litre*: As in, “Yes, I meant that litreally” and “It’s all in the litreature” and “Don’t have to be so litreal about it” and “Litreacy rates across America.” Other words you could use: litreate (literate), oblitreate (obliterate) and illitreate (illiterate).
    • Collateral → Collitre-al: As in, “Collitre-al damage.”
    • *lete → *litre: As in, “You’ve made a complitre mess of it” and “That product is obsolitre” and “Deplitred (depleted) funds” and “Delitre the files” and “Built like an athlitre.” Other words that could work: replitre (replete), incomplitre (incomplete) and complitrely (completely).
  • Lait: “Lait” is French for milk, and is a common word in the coffee-drinking community (as in, “cafe au lait”). Here are a few silly puns that involve the word “lait”:
    • Late → Lait: Lait is actually pronounced without the “t” at the end, so this isn’t a perfect pun but it can still work quite well: “Better lait than never” and “Buy now, pay laiter” and “Fashionably lait” and “A day lait and a dollar short” and “It’s never too lait” and “A lait bloomer” and “Lait in the day/game” and “Running lait.”
    • Lay → Lait: As in, “Couldn’t lait a finger on” and “Lait a trap” and “Lait down roots” and “Lait eyes on” and “Lait down your arms.”
    • *lay* → *lait*: As in, “Let’s plait!” and “Could you relait the situation?” and “On full displait” and “Unforseen delaits (delays)” and “An ornate jade inlait” and “It’s okay to hate the plaiter (player) AND the game.” Other words: waylait (waylay) and slait (slay).
    • *ly → *lait: As in, “A familait (family) matter” and “A full assemblait (assembly)” and “Yes, probablait.” Other words that could work: arguablait (arguably), inevitablait (inevitably), presumablait (presumably), notablait (notably), possiblait (possibly), bubblait (bubbly), publiclait (publicly), friendlait (friendly), hardlait (hardly), badlait (badly) and kindlait (kindly).
  • Pint: Some countries still sell milk measured in pints, so we’ve included some pint-related puns here:
    • Point → Pint: As in, “At this pint in time” and “Beside the pint” and “Brownie pints” and “Drive your pint home” and “Get right to the pint” and “Jumping off pint” and “Not to put too fine a pint on it” and “I see your pint of view” and “Pint out” and “Pint the finger at” and “A talking pint” and “The sticking pint” and “Case in pint” and “The finer pints of” and “The pint of no return.”
    • Pants → Pints: As in, “Ants in their pints” and “Beat the pints off” and “By the seat of your pints” and “Fancy pints” and “Keep your pints on” and “Pints on fire” and “Smarty pints.”
    • Pent → Pint: As in, “Pint up rage.”
    • Pin → Pint: As in, “Bright/clean/neat as a new pint” and “Hard to pint down” and “Pint your ears back” and “Pint the tail on the donkey.”
    •  *pet* → *pint*: As in, “Don’t use that pintulant (petulant) tone with me” and “Perpintual motion machine” and “A compintent (competent) worker.” Other words: impintus (impetus), compintition (competition) and compintence (competence). Note: an impetus is something that compels or encourages you to do something.
    • *pant* → *pint*: As in, “Nothing in the pintry” and “Pinting with fear” and “Disease is rampint” and “A flippint attitude.” Other words that could work: pintomime (pantomime), participint (participant) and occupint (occupant).
    • *pent* → *pint*: As in, “Pinthouse suite” and “Repint for your sins!” Other words: serpint (serpent), pintagram (pentagram) and carpinter (carpenter).
    • Paint → Pint: As in, “A lick of pint” and “A picture pints a thousand words” and “As boring as watching pint dry” and “Body pinting” and “Do I have to pint you a picture?” and “Finger pinting” and “Pint the town red” and “Pinting by numbers.”
  • Skim: Skim milk is where all of the cream is removed from whole milk, and is very low in fat. Here are some skim milk puns:
    • Scam → Skim: As in, “Skim artist.”
    • Slim → Skim: As in, “Skim pickings” and “The real skim shady.”
    • Swim → Skim: As in, “Sink or skim” and “Going skimmingly” and “Skim against the tide” and “Skim with sharks” and “Skim upstream.”
    • Scum → Skim: This is a bit of a stretch but can still work, as in: “Pond skim” and “Skim always rises to the surface.”
  • Cream: Cream is the part of milk that determines the fat content, and “full cream” is another type of milk, so we’ve included cream puns here for you:
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
  • Whole: Whole milk is the term for milk that hasn’t had anything removed from it (like fat). Here are some wholly bad puns for you to use in reference to it:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Fire in the whole!” and “A whole in one” and “Whole in the wall” and “Wholed up” and “Picking wholes in.”
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “Please whole’d the line” and “A whole-istic healing approach” and “Whole-low inside” and “On wholeiday” and “A wholey (holy) offering” and “Beauty is in the eye of the bewholeder” and “Alcowhole content” and “Menth-whole flavoured” and “Crossing the thresh-whole‘d (threshold).”
  • Hi-Lo: Hi-lo (or HiLo) milk is reduced fat – so “high in calcium, low in fat.” Here are some related puns:
    • Hello → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo, big boy” and “You had me at hi-lo” and “Hi-lo hi-lo, what’s going on here then?”
    • Hollow → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo eyed” and “A hi-lo goodbye.”
  • Sour: Sour milk is a common enough phenomenon for us to include here:
    • *sar* → *sour*: As in, “A sourdonic (sardonic) reply” and “Sourcasm isn’t helpful” and “No need to be sourcastic” and “Caesour salad” and “That’s not necessoury” and “Wedding anniversoury” and “A strong adversoury” and “Read the glossoury.” Note: to be sardonic is to be mocking or cynical.
    • *ser* → *sour*: As in, “At your sourvice” and “A sourious conversation” and “Filled with peace and sourenity” and “Close your browsour tabs” and “Brings us closour together” and “Teasour trailer.”
    • *sor* → *sour*: As in, “Filled with sourrow” and “What sourcery is this!” and “I’m sourry” and “I don’t need the sourdid details” and “Trip advisour” and “University professour.” Other words that could work: sponsour (sponsor), supervisour (supervisor), processour (processor), censour (censor) and consourtium (consortium). Note: a consortium is business partnership, or an association between institutions.
    • *sur* → *sour*: As in, “A quick sourvey” and “A sourreal situation” and “As far as I can sourmise” and “On the sourface” and “Recovering from sourgery” and “Sourrogate mother” and “What a sourprise.”
  • Farm: Since milk is from farms, we’ve got some farm-related puns here. We’d also like to note that while happy cows being milked by hand on a friendly farm is a nice idea, that is not how farms (even free-range ones) operate.
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Farmly planted” and “A farm tone of voice.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “Defence is the best farm of offence” and “Bad farm” and “Farm follows function” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “In fine farm” and “The lowest farm of wit” and “Not in any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm.”
    • From → Farm: As in, “A little farm column a, a little farm column b” and “A week farm next Tuesday” and “Farm a nice place” and “Come in farm the cold” and “Cut farm the same cloth” and “Fall farm grace” and “Farm a mile away” and “Farm a to z” and “Farm cover to cover” and “You’ll have to pry it farm my cold, dead hands” and “Farm soup to nuts” and “With love, farm…”
    • Charm → Farm: As in, “Farm the birds out of the trees” and “A farmed life” and “Southern farm” and “Third time’s a farm” and “Works like a farm.”
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “Friends and farmily” and “Seems farmiliar” and “Almost farmous” and “40 hour farmine” and “I’m farmished!” Other words: infarmy (infamy), infarmous (infamous) and defarmation (defamation). Note: infamy is a reputation (or fame) or evil.
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul.”
    • Infomercial → Infarmercial
    • *form* → *farm*: farmidable (formidable), farmula (formula), farmer (former), farmat (format), farmal (formal), farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), confarm (conform), infarm (inform), platfarm (platform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • Pharmacy → Farmacy
  • Spoil: If milk is off/expired, it’s referred to as spoiled, so here are some related puns:
    • Boil → Spoil: As in, “Spoiling with rage” and “It all spoils down to” and “Bring to the spoil” and “A watched pot never spoils” and “Spoil over.”
    • Spell → Spoil: As in, “How do you spoil…” and “You’ll have to spoil it out” and “Be under [someone’s] spoil” and “Break the spoil.”
    • Spill → Spoil: As in, “Spoil the beans” and “Spoil your guts” and “Thrills and spoils.”
    • Gospel → Gospoil: As in, “The gospoil truth.”
  • Choc: We all love choc milk, so it’s earned a place in this list. Choc milk is so popular that you may get away with using just the word “choc” as a reference to milk (here’s a nice chocolate milk recipe for you to try as well):
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Shake: Since milkshakes are such a popular milk drink, you may get away with using “shake” to refer to “milkshakes” in your wordplay:
    • Shock → Shake: As in, “Culture shake” and “In for a shake” and “In shake” and “Shell-shaked” and “Shake and awe.”
    • Ache → Shake: As in, “Old shakes and pains” and “Splitting headshake.”
    • Sake → Shake: As in, “For heaven’s/goodness shake” and “For old time’s shake.”
  • Kefir: Kefir is a fairly recent probiotic, milk-based drink. Here are some related puns:
    • Key for → Kefir: “This is the kefir the back door.”
    • Keep her → Kefir: “Being able to draw helps kefir spirits up.”
  • Soy milk: Soy milk is perhaps the most widespread (and cheap) non-dairy milk available and comes in different flavours. Here are some related puns:
      • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
      • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”
      • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
      • Thesaurus → Thesoyrus
      • *so* → *soy*: espressoy (espresso), virtuosoy (virtuoso), esoyteric (esoteric), philosoyphy (philosophy), resoylution (resolution), soylution (solution), soyphisticated (sophisticated) and soydium (sodium).
  • Almond milk: As almond milk is another popular type of milk, we’ve got some almond puns here too (and here’s a popular almond milk brand):
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Rice milk: Another readily available dairy-free milk option which we’ve included a few puns for here:
    • Raise → Rice: As in, “Rice a stink” and “Rice hell” and “Rice the bar” and “Rice the roof.”
    • Race → Rice: As in, “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rice to the bottom” and “Rat rice.”
  • Owed → Oat: As in, “Give me what I am oat!” Note: this is a reference to oat milk.
  • Contents → Condensed: As in, “Let me check the condensed” and “Have you read the condensed section?” and “Home and condensed insurance.” Note: this is a reference to condensed milk.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in milk and dairy products.
  • Curdle: If milk is really off, it can curdle. Here are some terrible and related puns:
    • Hurdle → Curdle: “Fall at the last curdle” and “Clearing all the curdles.”
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
  • Breast: Well, this is where milk comes from, so it seemed wrong to not include breast puns (keep ’em respectful) here too:
    • Best → Breast: As in, “All the breast” and “Be the breast” and “Breast friends forever” and “Breast in show” and “Breast of all” and “Breast practice” and “Bring out the breast in me” and “Doing what we do breast” and “Honesty is the breast policy” and “Hope for the breast” and “Living well is the breast revenge” and “Nothing but the breast” and “On your breast behaviour.”
    • Pressed → Breast: As in, “Breast for time/money.”
    • *best* → *breast*: As in, “The greatest honour I could breastow” and “Breastselling novel.”
    • *pressed* → *breast*: As in, “Deeply imbreast (impressed)” and “Subbreast (suppressed) feelings” and “I exbreast (expressed) my emotions to her” and “An unimbreast (unimpressed) tone.”
    • Prestige → Breastige
  • Memory → Mammary: As in, “Down mammary lane” and “In living mammary” and “Mammary lapse” and “Mammary like a sieve” and “Thanks for the mammaries.” Note: mammaries are the milk-secreting organs in breasts.

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Milk-Related Words

To help you come up with your own milk puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

milk, cow, udder, dairy, litre, pint, skim, full, cream, full cream, whole, hi-lo, lowfat, pasteurised, homogenised, UHT, lactose, farm, chocolate, strawberry, banana, milkshake, kefir, soy, almond, coconut, hazelnut, macadamia, rice, oat, leche, lait, rotten, spoiled, expired, lactate, evaporated, condensed, sour, mylk, goat, sheep, yak, buffalo, curdled, casein, breast

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Egg Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on egg puns! 🥚🐣🐔

Eggs are a wildly popular food, with the US alone producing over 105 billion eggs in 2017. They’re celebrated for their cultural and religious significance (as a symbol for birth and new beginnings, especially during Easter) and are loved for their culinary versatility, appearing not only in savory dishes but also sweets like cakes and custard.

Unfortunately, the egg industry is nothing to be celebrated, as it’s an industry based on a system of abuse, neglect and murder. Luckily, we don’t have to support this as there are many substitutes that we can use instead of eggs – if you’re after protein, there are plenty of vegan sources of protein. If you’re wanting to bake, there are vegan egg replacements too. If you want chocolate eggs for Easter, you’re covered there too. Along with there being an abundance of choice on the internet, you’re guaranteed to find something at your local grocery store.

Whether you came here looking for a silly joke for a pun thread or a clever Instagram hashtag, we hope you enjoy this list and leave with the right pun for your needs (and a better understanding of the egg industry).

Egg Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about eggs that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of egg puns:

  • Joke → Yolk: As in, “Inside yolk” and “Yolk’s on you” and “Yolking around.”
  • Oak → Yolk: As in, “A heart of yolk” and “Solid as a yolk” and “Little strokes fell great yolks” and “Mighty yolks from little acorns grow.”
  • Folk → Yolk: As in, “Different strokes for different yolks” and “Show’s over, yolks” and “That’s all, yolks” and “All just yolktales.”
  • I’m lettin’ → Omlettin’: As in, “Omlettin‘ them go” and “Omlettin‘ you have it.” Note: here are some recipes for vegan omelettes.
  • Shell: The following puns are about the shell of the egg, which can be valued for their high calcium content (there are some other foods high in calcium that you can eat instead):
    • Celebration→ Shellebration: As in “After finishing we should have a shellebration.”
    • Shall→ Shell: As in “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He who lives by the sword shell die by the sword.”
    • Sell → Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”
    • Hell → Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”
  • *eg* → *egg*: We can sneak the word “egg” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “Get a legg on” and “Neggative results” and “Had you pegged as…” and “I begg to differ” and “Where do I beggin?” Other words that could work: leggacy, eggocentric, nutmegg, bootlegg, dregg and integgrity.
  • *ig* → *egg*: We can swap “ig” sounds for “egg” sounds, as in, “Keep on degging (digging)” and “Eggnorance is not bliss” and “You can’t eggnore it forever” and “Choosing to remain eggnorant” and “Eggnite your passion.”
  • *ecc* → *egg*: “A real eggcentric” and “Impeggable (impeccable) taste.”
  • *ex* → *eggs*: As in, “A compleggs situation” and “Indeggsed (indexed) files” and “Better than seggs (sex)” and “Don’t fleggs your muscles here” and “Pure refleggs (reflex)” and “From eggsperience” and “Taken out of conteggst (context)” and “Eggspress post” and “In eggschange.” Other words you could use: eggsploit (exploit), eggstract (extract), eggsercise (exercise), eggsistential (existential), eggserpt (except), eggsample (example), eggsacerbate (exacerbate), eggsamine (examine), eggsact (exact), eggsasperate (exasperate), eggsclusive (exclusive), eggsited (excited), eggsellent (excellent), eggsess (excess), eggsempt (exempt), eggsemplify (exemplify), eggsecution (execution), eggsfoliate (exfoliate), eggshibit (exhibit), eggshaust (exhaust), eggsausted (exhausted), eggsibition (exhibition), eggsilarating (exhilarating), eggshale (exhale), eggsist (exist), eggsit (exit), eggsotic (exotic), eggsorbitant (exorbitant), eggspect (expect), eggsquisite (exquisite), eggstension (extension), eggstrapolate (extrapolate), eggstensive (extensive), eggstraordinary (extraordinary), eggsuberant (exuberant) and eggsude (exude).
  • *ec* → *egg*: As in, “New teggnology” and “Change the subjeggt” and “Be objeggtive” and “High seggurity” and “An effeggtive technique” and “Solar egglipse.” Other words you could use: seggular (secular), feggless (feckless), egglectic (eclectic), eggonomy (economy), eggo (echo), eggology (ecology) and eggstatic (ecstatic).
  • *ac* → *egg*: As in, “Taken into eggount” and “Take eggtion” and “In on the eggt (act)” and “Looking for eggommodation.” Other words you could use: eggnowledge (acknowledge), eggrue (accrue) and eggronym (acronym)
  • *ag* → *egg*: As in, “In the begg (bag)” and “Capture the flegg” and “Tegging along” and “Stop dregging your feet” and “Reggs to riches” and “Snegg (snag) a great deal.” Other words you could use: preggmatic (pragmatic), propeggate (propagate), eggregate (aggregate), eggainst (against), eggnostic (agnostic), egghast (aghast), eggree (agree) and eggreement (agreement).
  • Egg: We’ll finish this section off with some egg-related phrases that are general enough to use as puns: “As sure as eggs is eggs” and “A bad egg” and “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and “Nest egg” and “Walking on eggshells” and “Can’t make a cake without breaking some eggs.”
  • Fly → Fry: As in, “Come fry with me” and “Born to fry” and “Frying by the seat of your pants” and “Fry off the handle” and “Off to a frying start” and “Pass with frying colours” and “Go fry a kite” and “Don’t give a frying f*ck” and “Pigs might fry” and “The only way to fry.”
  • Free* → Fry*: As in, “Symbol of frydom” and “Fry as a bird” and “Born fry” and “Breathe fryly” and “Buy one, get one fry” and “Calorie fry” and “Footloose and fancy fry” and “Fry for all” and “Fry enterprise” and “Fry range” and “The best things in life are fry.”
  • Cry → Fry: As in, “A fry for help” and “A shoulder to fry on” and “Fry foul” and “Fry your heart out” and “For frying out loud” and “Don’t fry over spilt milk.”
  • *fra* → *fry*: As in, “Freeze fryme” and “Picture fryme” and “Frymed for the murder of…” and “Please refryne from…”
  • *fre* → *fry*: As in, “Radio fryquency” and “Frydom of the press” and “Like a fryt (freight) train.”
  • Fight → Fryt: As in, “A straight fryt” and “Come out fryting” and “Fryt for the right to party” and “Fryt back” and “Fryting back tears” and “Fryt fire with fire” and “Fryting like cats and dogs” and “Fryt or flight” and “Fryt the good fryt” and “Fryt tooth and nail” and “A fryting chance” and “Fryting fit” and “Freedom fryter” and “Go down fryting” and “Live to fryt another day” and “Picking fryts” and “Pillow fryt” and “Spoiling for a fryt.”
  • Fright → Fryt: As in, “Frytened of your own shadow” and “Frytful mess” and “Take fryt” and “Fryten to death.”
  • Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish (selfish).
  • *sel → *shell: Words ending in “sel” can often be punned upon with “shell”: vesshell (vessel), tasshell (tassel), weashell (weasel), musshell (mussel), etc.
  • *sel* → *shell*: Words containing “sel” can yeild nice puns on “shell”: Hershellf, himshellf, themshellves, itshellf, myshellf, yourshelf, yourshelves, convershelly, counshelling, preshellected, overshelling, undershelling, ushellessely, weashelling.
  • *cial → *shell: When a word has “cial” as a suffix, this suffix can usually be swapped out for “shell” to create a shell pun: soshell (social), speshell (special), offishell (official), finanshell, commershell, crushell, judishell, artifishell, provinshell, rashell, benefishell, superfishell, fashell, glashell, sacrifishel, antisoshell.
  • *yak* → *yolk*: As in, “Teriyolki tofu” and “A member of the yolkuza.” Note: the yakuza is an organised crime gang based in Japan.
  • Yukata → Yolkata: (note: a yukata is a type of light kimono.)
  • Hatch: These hatch-related phrases can double as egg puns: “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched” and “Down the hatch” and “Hatch a cunning plan.”
  • Hitch → Hatch: As in, “Get hatched” and “Hatch your wagon to a star” and “Went off without a hatch.”
  • Late → Laid: As in, “Better laid than never” and “Catch you laider” and “Fashionably laid” and “Read any good books laidly?” and “Never too laid” and “It’s laider than you think” and “A laid bloomer” and “Laid in the day” and “Sooner rather than laider” and “Too little too laid.”
  • *lad* → *laid*: As in, “Laidy and the Tramp” and “Laidy Luck” and “Laiden with goods” and “Laidling out soup” and “Little laidybug” and “All the single laidies.” Other words that could work: salaid (salad), blaide (blade), accolaide (accolade) and malaidy. Note: a malady is an illness.
  • *knowledge* → *knowlaidge*: As in, “Seeking knowlaidge” and “Acknowlaidge your presence” and “Knowlaidgeable on the topic of” and “Give my acknowlaidgement to.”
  • *lid* → *laid*: As in, “Solaid as a rock” and “Valaid argument” and “Squalaid surroundings.” Other words that could work: invalaid (invalid), holaiday (holiday), consolaidate (consolidate), valaidate (validate) and solaidarity (solidarity).
  • *lat* → *laid*: “Game emulaidor” and “Collaideral damage” and “Plaidform shoes” and “Well-articulaided.” Other words that could work: laideral (lateral), laident (latent), laiditude (latitude), laidency (latency), articulaid (articulate) and conflaid (conflate). Note: to conflate is to bring things together, or to mix them.
  • *lit* → *laid*: These are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work. As in, “In the laiderature” and “I laiderally just said that” and “A laidany (litany) of items” and “The laideral meaning.” Other words: laidigation (litigation), facilaidy (facility), qualaidy (quality), humilaidy (humility), liabilaidy (liability), polaidics (politics), realaidy (reality) and accountabilaidy (accountability).
  • Afriad → Afried: As in, “Afried of your own shadow” and “Afried so” and “Be afried” and “Too afried to ask.”
  • Cried → Fried: As in, “Fried my eyes out.”
  • Pride → Fried: As in, “Bursting with fried” and “Hurt fried” and “Fried and prejudice” and “Fried and joy” and “Swallow your fried” and “Take fried in.”
  • Fired → Fried: As in, “All fried up and ready to go” and “You’re fried!”
  • *fly → *fry: Butterfry (butterfly) and dragonfry (dragonfly).
  • Free → Free range: As in, “As free range as a bird” and “Born free range” and “Buy one, get one free range” and “Free range and easy” and “Free range for all” and “Free range spirit” and “Live free range or die” and “Nothing is ever free range.” Note: unfortunately, “free range” doesn’t mean what most egg consumers think it does. Free range is essentially as harmful to chicken welfare as caged/battery (and all forms of chicken farming will still start with chick culling).
  • Cage: These next few puns are dedicated to the idea of cage eggs, which is a system that provides an extremely unethical and torturous way for hens to live:
    • Age → Cage: As in, “Cage before beauty” and “Cage of consent” and “An awkward cage” and “Come of cage” and “A golden cage” and “In this day and cage” and “Mental cage” and “The cage of reason” and “Through the cages” and “One for the cages.”
    • *age* → *cage*: As in, “Double-cagent” and “Modelling cagency” and “What’s your cagenda?” and “The gay cagenda” and “Cageing gracefully” and “Increase your levercage (leverage)” and “Encage combat!”
    • Decay → Decage: As in, “Tooth decage” and “Falling into decage.”
    • Gauge → Cage: As in, “Fuel cage” and “Trying to cage your reaction.”
  • Flattery → Battery: Related to cage eggs are battery cages, which refers specifically to the housing system that’s used for producing animal byproducts (so it includes but isn’t limited to eggs): “Battery will get you nowhere” and “Imitation is the sincerest form of battery.”
  • Check → Chick: As in, “Chick it out!” and “Chick your sources” and “Double chick” and “Keep in chick” and “Reality chick” and “Take a rainchick” and “Chick up on.”
  • Click → Chick: As in, “Chick bait” and “Chick into place” and “Chick your fingers” and “Double chick” and “We really chicked” and “Point and chick.”
  • Pick → Chick: As in, “A bone to chick” and “Cherry chick” and “Easy chickings” and “Nit chicking” and “Chick a fight” and “Chick a card, any card” and “Chick of the bunch” and “Chick holes in” and “Chick up the pieces” and “Chick up the tab” and “Chick your brains” and “Chick your battles.”
  • Quick → Chick: As in, “Chick as a flash” and “Cut to the chick” and “Fancy a chickie?” and “Get rich chick” and “In chick succession” and “Kiss me chick” and “Chick and dirty” and “Chick off the mark” and “Chick smart” and “A chick study” and “Chick witted” and “Chicker than the eye” and “Lightning chick.”
  • Chuck → Chick: As in, “Chick a sickie,” and “Get chicked out,” and “Chick overboard.”
  • Trick → Chick: As in, “Bag of chicks,” and “Every chick in the book,” and “How’s chicks?” and “Never misses a chick,” and “One chick pony,” and “A chick of the light,” and “Chick or treat!” and “Chicks of the trade,” and “Up to your old chicks.”
  • Thick → Chick: As in, “As chick as thieves,” and “Blood is chicker than water,” and “In the chick of things,” and “The plot chickens,” and “Chick and fast,” and “Through chick and thin,” and “Lay it on chick.”
  • White: The following puns refer to egg whites, which are valued for their low fat content and high protein (here are some other sources of protein):
    • Wide → White: As in, “Open white!” and “The world white web” and “White-eyed” and “Give them a white berth” and “Blow it white open” and “Cast a white net” and “White awake.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “The white to choose” and “All the white moves” and “Animal whites” and “White as rain” and “Bragging whites” and “Civil whites” and “Dead to whites” and “Do alwhite for yourself” and “Fight for your whites” and “Get off on the white foot” and “Hold it white there!” and “Human whites” and “In the white place at the white time” and “Serves you white” and “Moving white along” and “White up your alley” and “White back at you.”
    • What → White: As in, “Do white comes naturally” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “It is white it is” and “It’s not white it looks like” and “No matter white” and “So white?” and “White a piece of work” and “White are friends for?” and “White does that have to do with anything?”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “Whiter’s block.”
    • Wait → White: As in, “A accident white-ing to happen” and “Good things to those who white” and “Lie in white” and “Ready and white-ing” and “White a minute” and “The white is over” and “Time whites for no-one” and “White in line” and “I can’t white” and “White and see” and “White-ing for the other shoe to drop” and “A white-ing game.”
    • Rite → White: As in, “Perform the last whites” and “White of passage.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white around” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “A dead white” and “Give white to” and “Hit above your white” and “The white of the world.”
    • *what* → *white*: somewhite (somewhat), whitesoever (whatsoever), whitenot (whatnot) and whitever (whatever).
  • Crack: The following puns refer to the act of cracking an egg in order to cook it (here are some great egg substitutes you can use in your cooking).
    • *cac* → *crack*: As in, “A crackophony of noise” and “Crackao flavoured.” Other words that could work: cracktus (cactus) and crackle (cackle). Note: a cacophony is a jumbled, chaotic mess of sound.
    • Cricket → Cracket
    • Croc* → Crack*: As in, “Crackodile tears” and “Delicate crackery” and “Potted crackus (crocus)” and “Simmering in the crackpot.” Note: a crocus is a type of flower.
    • Krak* → Crack*: Cracken (kraken) and crackatoa (krakatoa). Note: krakatoa is a volcanic island.
  • Approach → Appoach: As in, “The wrong appoach” and “Appoach the subject” and “A balanced appoach.”
  • Coach → Poach: As in, “Life poach” and “Head poach.”
  • Shamble → Scramble: As in, “A complete scramble” and “In total scrambles.”
  • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble” and “Scrambling addiction.”
  • Ramble → Scramble: As in, “Scrambling on and on” and “They’re funny, but tend to scramble.”
  • Scramble: “They scrambled to their feet.”
  • Then → Hen: As in, “All that and hen some” and “Now and hen” and “And hen there was one” and “That was hen, this is now” and “Right hen and there” and “But hen again…”
  • *hen*: Words than contain “hen” can be silly chicken/hen puns: Apprehend, appre-hen-sion, comprehend, comprehension, comprehensive, hence, henceforth, repre-hen-sible, stonehenge.
  • Comedian → Comedi-hen: As in, “You’re a real comedi-hen” and “Everyone’s a comedi-hen round here.”
  • *han* → *hen*: As in, “Give me your hend (hand),” and “Do you have a hendle (handle) on it?” and “You look so hendsome tonight,” and “Your hendwriting has improved,” and “Their kids are a real hendful,” and “She was raised as an orphen,” and “The elephent in the room,” and “Please enhence the image,” and “I’ve had an epipheny!” and “This is your last chence,” and “Change the chennel.”
  • *hin* → *hen*: As in, “You’re hendering (hindering) me,” and “Doorhenge,” and “Give me a hent (hint),” and “In hendsight (hinsight),” and “You’re a hendrance (hindrance),” and “Change comes from withen,” and “Looking a bit then (thin),” and “Take it on the chen (chin),” and “Got kicked in the shens (shins),” and “Contrary to what you may think, dolphens are mammals,” and “A rush of endorphens,” and “A street urchen.” Note: to hinder is to block someone’s progress or to make something difficult to complete.
  • *hon* → *hen*: As in, “Brutally henest (honest),” and “An henourable mention,” and “Hello, heney (honey).”
  • *hun* → *hen*: As in, “A wild hench (hunch),” and “The henter (hunter) becomes the hented (hunted),” and “One hendred,” and “I’m hengry,” and “That’s not what I henger (hunger) for.”
  • Hen: These hen-related phrases can be used as egg puns: “Don’t let the fox guard the hen-house” and “As scarce as hen’s teeth” and “A mother hen” and “Hen-pecked” and “Hen’s night/party”. Note: to be henpecked is to be bullied or intimidated by a woman.
  • Enough → Un oeuf (pronounced like “enough”): Un oeuf is French for “one egg”, so we’ve included it here as a terribly cheesy pun: “Because life’s complicated un oeuf” and “Close un oeuf” and “Un oeuf is un oeuf” and “Fair un oeuf” and “Hot un oeuf for you?” and “Can’t thank you un oeuf.”
  • Risk → Whisk: This refers to whisking eggs: “A calculated whisk” and “Whisk averse” and “Whisk life and limb” and “Whisk management” and “Whisky business” and “You run the whisk of” and “Whisking your neck.”
  • Wisconsin → Whiskonsin
  • Beat: These next few puns will refer to beating (mixing) eggs, which is commonly required for baking.
    • Bead → Beat: As in, “Beats of sweat.”
    • Beet → Beat: As in, “Red as a beatroot.”
    • *bat* → *beat*: As in, “Combeat boots” and “Mental acrobeatics” and “Dead beattery.” Other words that could work: numbeat (numbat), wombeat (wombat), exacerbeat (exacerbate), abeat (abate), debeat (debate) and verbeatim (verbatim). Note: to exacerbate something is to make it worse, and if something is verbatim, then it’s word for word.
    • *bet* → *beat*: As in, “For beatter or worse” and “You’d beatter” and “Stuck in beatween” and “Beatray someone’s confidence” and “In beata testing” and “For the beatterment of society” and “A cutting beatrayal.” Other words you could use: beatrothed (betrothed), alphabeat (alphabet), sherbeat (sherbet) and diabeates (diabetes).
    • *bit* → *beat*: As in, “Beattersweet feelings” and “Beatter chocolate” and “Take a gambeat.” Other words that could work: beatumen (bitumen), inhibeat (inhibit), exhibeat (exhibit), rabbeat (rabbit), habeat (habit), orbeat (orbit), inhabeat (inhabit), prohibeat (prohibit), arbeatrary (arbitrary) and beatch (b*tch). Note: if something is arbitrary, then it’s not based on objective logic.
    • *bed* → *beat*: These ones are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work: beatdazzled (bedazzled), beatdraggled (bedraggled), beatroom (bedroom), obeatient (obedient), obeatience (obedience), forbeat (forbid), morbeat (morbid) and libeato (libido).
    • *beet* → *beat*: Beatle (beetle), Beathoven (Beethoven) and beatroot (beetroot).
  • Easy → Over easy: “over easy” is a style of cooking eggs. As in, “As over easy as abc” and “As over easy as pie” and “Over easy access” and “Over easy come, over easy go” and “Over easy does it” and “Over easy on the eyes” and “Over easy pickings” and “Over easy street” and “Free and over easy” and “Take the over easy way out” and “Well that was over easy” and “Too over easy.”
  • Boil: These next few puns are a reference to boiled eggs.
    • Ball → Boil: As in, “Boilpark figure” and “A brand new boilgame” and “Bust your boils” and “Curve boil” and “A different boil game” and Drop the boil” and “Get the boil rolling” and “Have a boil” and “Keep your eye on the boil” and “Playing hardboil” and “A snowboil’s chance in hell” and “The boil is in your court” and “Up to your eyeboils in…”
    • Pale → Boil: As in, “Boils in comparison to” and “A boil imitation of…”
    • I’ll → Boil: As in, “Boil eat my hat” and “Boil be damned!”
    • Boy’ll (boy will) → Boil: As in, “That boil go far” and “That boil learn his lesson soon enough.”
    • *bal* → *boil*: As in, “Off-boilance” and “A delicate boilance” and “Secret boillot” and “Globoil sustainability” and “Nonverboil communication” and “Herboil tea.” Other words that could work: boilloon (balloon), boillistic (ballistic), triboil (tribal), canniboil (cannibal), verboil (verbal) and imboilance (imbalance).
    • Bel* → Boil*: boilieve (believe), boilief (belief) and boiloved (beloved).
    • *bil* → *boil*: As in, “Take responsiboility” and “Rehaboilitation centre” and “Environmental sustainaboility.” Other words you could use: liaboility (liability), accountaboility (accountability), aboility (ability) and capaboility (capability).
    • *bol* → *boil*: boilster (bolster), boilt (bolt), boild (bold), symboil (symbol), gamboil (gambol), hyperboile (hyperbole), aboilish (abolish) and metaboilism (metabolism).
    • *bul* → *boil*: boilshit (bullshit), Istanboil (Istanbul), neboilous (nebulous) and faboilous (fabulous). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s cloudy or vague.
    • *pal* → *boil*: As in, “A princiboil player” and “Palpaboil (palpable) tension” and “A boiltry sum.” Note: if something is palpable, then it’s tangible.
    • *pol* → *boil*: As in, “Store boilicy” and “Identity boilitics” and “Boilice brutality” and “Scrub and boilish (polish).” Other words that could work: extraboilate (extrapolate), anthroboilogy (anthropology) and aboilogise (apologise).
  • Scratch → Scotch: Scotch eggs are another popular egg dish (which also has vegan recipes), so we’ve got a couple of related puns here: “I scotch your back, you scotch mine” and “Scotch the surface” and “Start from scotch” and “Up to scotch” and “Scotching your head” and “A real head-scotcher” and “Scotch an itch.”
  • Foul → Fowl: As in “By fair means or fowl” and “Cry fowl” and “Fowl language” and “Fowl up” and “No harm, no fowl” and “A fowl-mouthed person” and “Fowl play”
  • Fell → Fowl: As in “In one fowl swoop” and “Little strokes fowl great oaks” and “The bottom fowl out of the market” and “She fowl asleep at the wheel” and “He fowl under her spell” and “It fowl into my lap” and “She fowl victim to the scammer”. Note: If something is done in one fell swoop, then it was done quickly and in one single action.
  • Fall → Fowl: As in, “A fowling out,” and “Easy as fowling off a log,” and “Bread always fowls butter side down,” and “Can’t help fowling in love,” and “Catch a fowling star,” and “Fowl about laughing,” and “Fowl between the cracks,” and “Fowl from grace,” and “Fowl into bad habits,” and “A fowlen angel,” and “Oh how the mighty have fowlen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fowl,” and “United we stand, divided we fowl.”
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • *fal* → *fowl*: As in, fowllacy (fallacy), fowlter (falter), fowlse (false), fowllout (fallout), buffowlo (buffalo), crestfowllen (crestfallen), defowlt (default), downfowl (downfall), fowlsetto (falsetto), fowlt (fault), fowlsify (falsify), freefowl (freefall), nightfowl (nightfall), waterfowl (waterfall).
  • Paltry → Poultry: The term “paltry” means “small, insignificant or worthless” and the term “poultry” refers to domesticated chickens (and ducks, geese and other fowl). As in, “A poultry amount of work.”
  • Poetry → Poultry: As in, “Poultry in motion,” and “Spoken word poultry.” Note: spoken word poetry is performative poetry that tends to involve themes of social justice.
  • Poltergeist → Poultrygeist: As in, “Peeves the poultrygeist.” Note: Peeves is a famous poltergeist from the Harry Potter series.
  • Next → Nest: As in “Nest minute …” and “Better luck nest time” and “Boy/girl nest door” and “Nest generation” and “Nest in line to the throne” and “Nest to nothing” and “Take it to the nest level” and “Nest to nothing” and “The nest big thing.” and “Cleanliness is next to godliness” and “In nest to no time” and “Nest to nothing” and “One day chicken and the nest day feathers” and “Catch the nest wave” and “As ___ as the nest girl/guy”. Note: “One day chicken and the next day feathers” is a phrase indicating that things we consider valuable can be lost in no time at all (like a job, marriage, or a house etc).
  • Messed → Nest: As in, “You done nest up.”
  • *net* → *nest*: As in, “The nestwork is down” and “Social nestworking” and “The five tenests of” and “Internest connection” and “Captain Planest.” Other words you could use: cabinest (cabinet), bonnest (bonnet), sonnest (sonnet) and magnest (magnet). Note: a sonnet is a type of poem. A tenet is a guiding principle.
  • *nast* → *nest*: As in, “Cheap and nesty” and “A nesty piece of work.” Other words you could use: dynesty (dynasty), nestiness (nastiness), gymnest (gymnast) and monestery (monastery). Notes: a monastery is housing for monks and nuns. A dynasty is a line of rulers from the same family.
  • *nest*: You can emphasise the “nest” in these words: earnest, honest, dishonest, soonest, anesthesia and amnesty. Note: amnesty is a pardon, usually for a political offence.
  • *nist* → *nest*: As in, “The protagonest of the story” and “A misogynest comment” and “A powerful antagonest” and “A hedonestic lifestyle.” Other words you could use: feminest (feminist), chauvinest (chauvinist), communest (communist), adminestration (administration), adminester (administer), minester (minister) and anachronestic (anachronistic). Note: if something is anachronistic, then it doesn’t fit in with the time period.
  • *nost* → *nest*: As in, “Filled with nestalgia” and “A nestalgic smell” and “An assault on the nestrils” and “Agnestic worldview” and “Diagnestic outcome.”
  • Quiche: Quiches are a popular egg dish (which you can easily make an eggless version of) so we’ve included some quiche puns here:
    • Key → Quiche: As in, “A golden quiche can open any door” and “Fear is the quiche” and “The quiche to your heart” and “Quiche-hole surgery” and “Throw away the quiche” and “A low-quiche party” and “Off quiche” and “The quiche to the kingdom” and “Under lock and quiche” and “In a minor quiche” and “A quiche figure of” and “The quiche to success.”
    • Keep → Quiche: As in, “Known by the company you quiche” and “Don’t quiche us in suspense” and “Finders quiche-ers” and “Quiche your head” and “Quiche a lid on it” and “Quiche a straight face” and “Quiche an ear out.”
    • *kaysh* → *quiche*: If a word has a “kaysh” sound, we can replace it with “quiche”: aquiche-ia (acacia), alloquicheion (allocation), alterquiche-ion (altercation), amplifiquiche-ion (amplification), authentiquiche-ion (authentication), certifiquiche-ion (certification), clarifiquiche-ion (clarification), classifiquiche-ion (classification), communiquiche-ion (communication), compliquiche-ion (complication), dediquiche-ion (dedication), dupliquiche-ion (duplication), eduquiche-ion (education), electrifiquiche-ion (electrification), mediquiche-ion (medication) and justifiquiche-ion (justification).
    • *key* → *quiche*: As in, “Barrel of monquiche (monkeys)” and “Quit cold turquiche (turkey)” and “Bottle of whisquiche (whiskey).” Other words that could work: hoquiche (hockey), malarquiche (malarkey), donquiche (donkey), quicheboard (keyboard) and quichenote (keynote).
  • Farm: Since eggs are generally from farms, we’ve included some farm-related puns in here for you:
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Round and farm” and “Farm up” and “Feet farmly planted” and “Terra farma.”
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul” and “Out of farm’s way” and “Wouldn’t farm a fly.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “In good farm” and “Attack is the best farm of defence” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “Sarcasm is the lowest farm of wit” and “In any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm” and “Evil takes many farms.”
    • Arm → Farm: As in, “Farm candy” and “Farmed and dangerous” and “Farmed struggle” and “Farmed intervention” and “Farmed to the hilt” and “As long as your farm” and “At farm’s length” and “The right to bear farms” and “A call to farms” and “Brothers in farms” and “Cost a farm and a leg” and “Give your right farm for” and “Up in farms” and “With open farms.”
    • Arm* → Farm*: As in, Farmageddon (armageddon), farmy (army), farmistice (armistice), farmour (armour). Note: an armistice is a formal agreement to stop fighting.
    • Am* → Farm*: As in, “That’s farmazing!” and “Farmateur work” and “Farmbiguous answers” and “Farmbitious projects.” Other words that could work: farmbivalent (ambivalent), Farmerican, farmendment (amendment), farmicable (amicable), farmidst (amidst), farmonnia (ammonia), farmmunition (ammunition), farmnesia (amnesia), farmong (among) and farmongst (amongst).
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “My farmily tree” and “A farmiliar place” and “Farm and fortune” and “Almost farmous” and “Wartime farmine” and “Farmiliarise yourself with your new home.” Other words that could work: farmished (famished), Oxfarm (Oxfam), infarmy (infamy) and infarmous (infamous).
    • Fem* → Farm*: As in, “The future is farmale” and “Farminism is not a dirty word” and “Feeling farminine.”
    • Fum* → Farm*: As in, “Farmbling around” and “Farming (fuming) mad” and “Farmigate the house.”
    • Ferment → Farment: (Note: this also works for other forms of the word, like farmentation (fermentation) and farmented (fermented)).
    • *firm* → *farm*: As in, “Can you please confarm your reservation?” and “Elderly and infarm” and “Motivational affarmations” and “Answer in the affarmative” and “Give confarmation.” Other words that could work: infarmary (infirmary), affarm (affirm) and farmware (firmware).
    • *form* → *farm*: As in, “A farmidable opponent” and “New, improved farmula” and “Which farmat should I save it in?” and “Farmal dresscode” and “Farmulate a plan.” Other words you could use: farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), platfarm (platform), infarm (inform), confarm (conform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), refarm (reform), landfarm (landform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • *phem* → *farm*: blasfarmy (blasphemy), eufarmism (euphemism) and blasfarmous (blasphemous).
    • Sophomore → Sofarmore
    • Pharm* → Farm*: farmacy (pharmacy), farmaceutical (pharmaceutical) and farmacist (pharmacist).
  • Clutch: In this context, a clutch is a brood of chickens or a group of eggs. Make cheesy references to them with these puns:
    • Crutch → Clutch: As in, “On clutches” and “Using alcohol as a clutch.”
    • Glitch → Clutch: As in, “A clutch in the system.”
    • Clutch: Clutch has two meanings: to hold onto something tightly, and a group of eggs. We can make some egg puns using this: “A drowning person will clutch at a straw,” and “Pearl-clutcher.” Note: a pearl-clutcher is someone who is overly prudish.
    • Ovum: Ovums are egg cells (yes, we’re getting very technical here) so we’ve got some ovum-related puns for you to play with:
      • Over → Ovum: As in, “All ovum again” and “Bowled ovum” and “A bridge ovum troubled water” and “Brimming ovum with confidence” and “Come on ovum” and “Didn’t lose any sleep ovum it.”
      • Drove him → Dr’ovum: As in, “They dr’ovum to sleeplessness.”
  • Duck: Duck eggs are another type of egg commonly eaten by humans, so we’ve included them in this list too:
    • Dock → Duck: As in, “Charging duck” and “Waiting in the duck.”
    • Dark → Duck: As in, “After duck” and “Duck as pitch” and “Dancing in the duck” and “Duck before the dawn” and “Duck horse” and “Duck humour” and “Deep duck secret” and “Every duck cloud has a silver lining” and “In the duck” and “A duck and stormy night” and “Kept in the duck” and “A shot in the duck” and “My duckest hour.”
    • Tuck → Duck: As in, “Nip and duck” and “Duck in.”
    • Deck → Duck: As in, “All hands on duck” and “Clear the ducks” and “Deal from the bottom of the duck” and “Duck of cards” and “All ducked out” and “Hit the duck” and “Not playing with a full duck.”
    • Truck → Duck: As in, “By the duckload” and “Have no duck with” and “Fell off the back of a duck” and “Keep on duckin‘.”
    • Dec* → Duck*: As in, “A steady duckline (decline)” and “A duckadent meal” and “Falling into duckay.”
    • *dic* → *duck*: As in, “Look it up in the ducktionary” and “As the new laws ducktate (dictate)” and “A real ducktator” and “Orthopaeduck shoes” and “Call a meduck (medic)” and “Nomaduck lifestyle” and “The perioduck table.” Other words that could work: duckotomy (dichotomy – a separation of something into two), ducktum (dictum – an authoritative statement), sporaduck (sporadic – happening rarely and randomly), aciduck (acidic), episoduck (episodic), meduckal (medical), raduckal (radical), preduckament (predicament), induckate (indicate), vinduckate (vindicate) and deduckate (dedicate).
    • Doc* → Duck*: As in, “I need a ducktor!” and “Legal ducktrine (doctrine)” and “Official duckuments” and “Keep the ducket” and “A new vegan duckumentary” and “All in the duckumentation.”
    • *duc* → *duck*: As in, “Code of conduckt” and “New and improved produckt.”
    • Dakota → Duckota: (note: Dakota is the name of a few different towns and cities in the United States)
    • *tech* → *duck*: As in, “Cutting-edge ducknology” and “Masterful ducknique” and “Ducknical information” and “Ducknically, yes.”
  • Goose: Since goose eggs are another popular food, we included some goose-related puns and phrases here that could double as egg puns in a pinch:
    • Goes → Goose: As in, “The Academy award goose to…” and “Anything goose” and “As far as it goose” and “As the saying goose” and “As time goose by” and “Here goose nothing!” and “How goose it?” and “Goose without saying” and “Life goose on” and “No good deed goose unpunished” and “Steady as she goose” and “What goose up must come down” and “Who goose there?” and “My heart goose out to…”
    • Guess → Goose: As in, “It’s anybody’s goose” and “Goose what?” and “Gooseing games” and “Have a goose” and “Just lucky, I goose” and “Your goose is as good as mine” and “Second-gooseing yourself” and “You’ll never goose.”
    • *gas* → *goose*: As in, gooselight (gaslight), gooseoline (gasoline), flabbergooseted (flabbergasted), orgoose-sm (orgasm) and smorgoosebord (smorgasbord).
    • *gos* → *goose*: As in, “A relentless gooseip” and “Gooseamer wings” and “The goosepel truth.”
    • *gus* → *goose*: gooseto (gusto), gooset (gusset), gooset (gust), fungoose (fungus), bogoose (bogus), oesophagoose (oesophagus), asparagoose (asparagus), Augooset (August), disgooset (disgust) and disgooseting (disgusting).
  • Birth: Since eggs are literally to do with birth and are used to symbolise birth and re-birth in cultural celebrations, we’ve included some birth-related puns here too:
    • Berth → Birth: As in, “Give them a wide birth.” Note: berth in this context means room or space to move.
    • Earth → Birth: As in, “Journey to the centre of the birth” and “Brought down to birth” and “Cost the birth” and “Down to birth” and “Birth mother” and “Birthly delights” and “Birthly paradise” and “From the ends of the birth” and “Hell on birth” and “A scorched birth policy.”
    • Perth → Birth: (Note: Perth is the capital of Western Australia.)
    • Bath* → Birth*: Birthroom (bathroom), birthtub (bathtub), birthers (bathers), sabbirth (sabbath) and bloodbirth (bloodbath).
    • *beth* → *birth*: Birthlehem (Bethlehem) and Elizabirth (Elizabeth).
    • Bother* → Birther*: As in, “It’s not a birther” and “How birthersome” and “Hot and birthered” and “Stop birthering me.”
  • Roe: We aren’t just looking at chicken’s eggs in this list! Roe is popularly eaten as a delicacy, and since they’re fish eggs we’ve included them in this list.
    • Row → Roe: As in, “Front roe seats.”
    • Rue → Roe: As in, “You’ll roe the day!”
    • Throw → Roe: As in, “Roe away the key” and “A stone’s roe away” and “Roe another log on the dire” and “Roe a fit” and “Roe caution to the winds” and “Roe cold water on” and “Roe it back in their face” and “Roe the towel in” and “Roe up” and “Roe your weight around” and “Roe your hat into the ring” and “Roe a bone to.”
    • Toe → Roe: As in, “Dip your roe in the water” and “From top to roe” and “Head to roe” and “Make their roes curl” and “Roe the line” and “Twinkle roes.”
    • Rose → Roe-s: As in, “Come up smelling of roe-ses” and “Bed of roe-ses” and “Every roe-s has its thorn” and “Roe-s tinted glasses” and “Stop and smell the roe-ses.”
    • Rhe* → Roe*: roetoric (rhetoric), roetorical (rhetorical) and roematism (rheumatism).
    • Rho* → Roe*: roembus (rhombus) and roedodendron (rhododendron). Note: a rhododendron is a type of flower.
    • *roa* → *roe*: As in, “Hit the roed” and “On the roed” and “Middle of the roed” and “Roest me” and “Hear me roer (roar)” and “Approech carefully” and “A proe-active worker.” Other words that could work: reproech (reproach), broech (broach), throet (throat).
    • Rou* → Roe*: As in, “All year roe‘nd” and “Going roe‘nd in circles” and “Gather roe‘nd” and “Makes the world go roe‘nd” and “Rally roe‘nd” and “A roe‘ndabout way” and “Just a roe‘tine check” and “A roe‘gh adventure.”
    • *raw → *roe: As in, “It’s a droe” and “Withdroe from the race” and “The final stroe” and “A roe deal” and “Back to the droe-ing board” and “Droe the line” and “The luck of the droe.”
    • *rew* → *roe*: As in, “Little to no roeward” and “Needs a roewrite” and “A roewarding position” and “Scroe it” and “Skeleton croe” and “Written in Hebroe.”
    • *row* → *roe*: As in, “As if there’s no tomorroe” and “Here today, gone tomorroe” and “Drowning in sorroe” and “A narroe escape” and “Groe-ing up.” Other words that could work: roedy (rowdy), throe (throw), croe (crow), burroe (burrow) and proe-ess (prowess).
    • Re* → Roe*: As in, “For future roeference” and “Not a roelevant point” and “Requires further roesearch” and “Steely roesolve” and “Made roedundant” and “Graphic roendering.”
    • *ro* → *roe*: As in, “Going proe” and “Acting like a heroe” and “Build yourself up from zeroe” and “Microe loans” and “Throe the ball!” Other words you could use: Camaroe (a Camaro is a type of car), maestroe, euroe, syndroeme (syndrome), troepe (trope), troell (troll), roell (roll), stroeke (stroke), oxymoroen (oxymoron), thoroegh (thorough) and stroell (stroll).
    • *rus* → *roes*: thesauroes (thesaurus), proedent (prudent) and accroe (accrue).
  • Easter: Since some people might be after eggs of the chocolatey Easter variety, we’ve included Easter puns in here too:
    • Easter: As in, “Easter Island,” and “Easter parade,” and “The Easter bunny.”
    • East/Eastern → Easter: As in, “Easter of Eden,” and “Full of Easter promise.”
    • *east → *easter: As in, “At the very l-easter,” and “A f-easter for the eyes,” and “F-easter or famine,” and “The king of b-easters,” and “Last but not l-easter,” and “Nutritional y-easter is a good cheese substitute.”
  • Ail → Quail: Since quail eggs are eaten as well (more commonly in Asian countries), we’ve got them in this list too: “What quails you?”

The following puns are specific to characters and celebrity names:

  • Yoko Ono → Yolko Ono
  • Edward Scissorhands → Eggward Scissorhands
  • Ed Sheeran → Egg Sheeran
  • Benedict Cumberbatch → Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch
  • Liam Hemsworth → Liam Hensworth
  • Michelle Obama → Mi-shell Obama
  • Megan Fox → Meggan Fox
  • Charles Dickens → Charles Chickens

Note: if you’d like further information about the egg industry or avoiding eggs in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Egg-Related Words

To help you come up with your own egg puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: egg, shell, yolk, white, crack, fry, fried, boil, poach, scrambled, hard-boiled, omelette, devilled, pickled, scotch, benedict, florentine, beat, sunny, over easy, hatch, laid, free range, cage, hen, battery, chicken, duck, goose, easter, rotten, whisk, frittata, quiche, farm, fowl, nest, zygote, embryo, fertilised, ovum, incubate, clutch, birth, roe, caviar, carton, cholesterol, fat, salmonella, quail, faberge

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Thanksgiving Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Thanksgiving puns! 🍁🙌💕🌽

While Thanksgiving is a much-loved holiday and we’re happy to celebrate it with a list of terrible puns, we do also need to recognise that this celebration is a painful time for many. The land was not shared between settlers and Native Americans as is generally taught – it was taken violently, and so many Native Americans think of Thanksgiving as a day of celebrating the colonisation of their land and the mass killing of their people. To try and respectfully approach this holiday, we’re going to curate this pun list to cover only puns which show the original, non-religious Thanksgiving celebration so a lot of these puns will be about the food traditionally eaten during harvest festivals.

While we’ve made this list as thorough as possible, this entry is for Thanksgiving in general. We also have more specific entries for pumpkin puns, holiday puns and turkey puns in the works. While you’re waiting on those, you might like to check out our food puns, vegetable puns or corn puns.

Thanksgiving Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Thanksgiving that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Thanksgiving puns:

  • Giving → Thanksgiving: As in, “The gift that keeps on Thanksgiving.”
  • Harvest: As in, “Reap the harvest,” and “Harvest moon.” Note: the harvest moon is the full moon which appears closest to the autumn equinox.
  • Turkey: As in, “Cold turkey,” and “Talk turkey.” Notes: Cold turkey refers to the abrupt and complete quitting of something. To talk turkey is to speak frankly and openly.
  • The Key → Turkey: As in, “Turkey to your heart,” and “Lock him up and throw away turkey,” and “Turkey to a nice, relaxed evening,” and “Turkey to success.”
  • Gobble: Turkeys are known for their signature “gobbling” sound. As gobbling also means to eat quickly and messily, we can make some corny turkey puns out of using these double meanings. Adult male turkeys are also called gobblers, so there are pun possibilities there too.
  • Goblet → Gobble-t: As in, “A wine gobble-t,” and “Crystal gobble-t.”
  • Goblin → Gobblin’: As in, “Gobblin‘ down a vegan feast.”
  • Corn → Can: As in “Corn’t we all just get along?” and “Appearances corn be deceptive.” and “Bit off more than you corn chew.” and “Corn you believe it?” and “You corn count on me.”
  • Sudden → Spudden: As in “All of a spudden” and “Spuddenly, out of the blue …”
  • Corny: As in “What corny puns”.
  • Gone → Corn: As in “Here today, corn tomorrow.” and “It’s all corn pear-shaped.” and “Corn, but not forgotten.”
  • Kind → Corned: As in “Kill them with cornedness.” and “Cornedest regards, …” and “One of a corned” and “I paid him back in corned.” and “You have to be cruel to be corned.”
  • Scorn: As in “He became the object of scorn amongst his contemporaries.” and “They recieved scornful remarks for their lack of respect.”
  • Corner: As in “Out of the corner of my eye” and “They had me cornered” and “Go and sit in the naughty corner” and “I’ll be there soon, I’m just around the corner.” and “They come from all corners of the Earth.” and “We’ve cornered the market”.
  • Unicorn: As in “The last unicorn“.
  • Capricorn: As in “Astrology is silly, but my star sign is capricorn.”
  • Cornerstone: As in “Animal rights were the cornerstones of the new policy.”
  • Cornea: As in “My cornea is permanently damaged.”
  • Con* → Corn*: Very corny corn puns can be made with some words that start with the “con” sound (or similar): corntract, corncern, corntain, cornference, corntext, corncerned, corntrast, cornfidence, corndition, corntinue, cornsider, corntry, cornclusion, cornduct, cornversation, cornstruction, cornflict, corntribution, cornsent, cornsist, cornclude, cornservation, corntest, cornception, cornsequences, cornsult, corncert, cornventional, corncrete, corntinent, cornfine, cornsistantly, cornstitutional, cornvey, cornsiderably, cornsitituent, corntempt, corncede, cornfess, cornfrontation, corngregation, corntroversial, cornsensus, cornsultancy, cornquest, cornvicted, corngratulate. See this list for more.
  • *can* → *corn*: If a word contains the “can” sound (or similar), then a terrible corn pun can sometimes be made: corncel (cancel), corncellation (cancellation), corndidate (candidate), corndlelight (candlelight), cornibalism (cannibalism), cornteen (canteen), Scorndinavian (Scandinavian), scorndalous (scandalous), uncorny (uncanny).
  • *con* / *cahn* → *corn*: If a word contains the “con” sound (or similar), then a terrible corn pun can sometimes be made: ecornomists, incornsequential, discorntinuity, lexicorn, miscornduct, recornaissance, subcornscious, subcornsciously, subcorntinent, subcorntractor, uncornstitutional, uncornsciously, Wiscornsinlacornic (laconic), Americorn, balcorny, beacorn (of hope), applicornts (applicants), corntrydecornstruction, discorncerting, discornected, discorntinue, fecorndity (fecundity), forsacorn (forsaken), francornstein, heartbrocorn, icornography, incornceivable, insignificorned (insignificant), intercornect, lubricornt, mecornism (mechanism), miscornceptions, precornceptions, noncornformist, recorncile, secornhand, republicorn, supercornducting, uncorntrollable, uncornventional.
  • *carn*→*corn*: As in “This species is cornivorous.” and “Some superstitious people believe in reincornation.” and “Our team got beaten badly – it was utter cornage.”
  • Com* → Corn*: Some terrible corn puns can be made by replacing “com” at the start of a word with “corn” as in “You’re in good cornpany” and “You’ve made a cornplete fool of yourself” and “I’m a proud cornputer geek” and “We’ve got some stiff cornpetition” and “Cornpare and corntrast.” and “Shall I cornpare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He’s got an inferiority cornplex.” and “I think it’s due to a cornbination of factors.” and “Cornbine all the ingredients in a bowl.” and “You will be given $20 as cornpensation for your time.” and “I don’t feel cornfortable in my skin.” and “She’s got a strong cornpetitive streak.” and “… It’s cornplicated.” and “Cornplete and utter incornpetence.” and “A cornplimentary after-dinner mint.” and “You have to go. It’s cornpulsory.” There are more words starting with “com” in this list.
  • Kernel: As in “There is a kernel of truth to what she is saying.” and “This is the kernel of the argument.” and “The Linux kernel is free and open source.”
  • Cab → Cob: As in “Wave down a taxi cob
  • Cub → Cob: As in “A cute bear cob
  • *cob*: If a word contains the “cob” sound (or something vaguely similar), you can sometimes make a terrible corn cob pun: appli-cob-ility, amicobly (amicably), impracticoble, irrevocoble, inexplicobly, impeccobly, despicoble, macobre, unmista-cob-ly, unthin-cob-le, remar-cob-le.
  • Stud → Spud: As in “He’s a real spud.”
  • Thanks bud → Thank spud: As in “Oh, you got this for me? Thank spud“.
  • Teeter → Tater: As in “She tatered after her dog in her high-heeled shoes.” and “He tatered on the brink of destruction.”
  • Traitor → Tater: As in “He was a tater to his own class.”
  • Hater → Tater: As in “Taters gonna hate.” or “Taters gonna tate.”
  • Tighter → Tater: As in “Grandma’s hugs are tater than a boa constrictor.”
  • *tator* → *tater*: If a word ends with “tator” it can be turned into a silly potato pun: spectater, commentater, dictater, facilitater, imitater, agitater, annotater, resuscitater, rehabilitater, precipitater, decapitater, devistater, dictatership.
  • *tated → *tatered: If a word ends in “tated” you can change it to “tatered” for a silly tater pun: statered (stated), hesi-tater-ed, dictatered, devastatered, irritatered, agitatered, precipi-tater-ed, facilitatered, orientatered, necessitatered, reinstatered, mutatered, rotatered, incapacitatered, disorientatered, overstatered, imitatered, amputatered, rehabilitatered, understatered, regurgitatered, premeditatered, meditatered, decapitatered, commentatered, gravitatered.
  • Leg room → Legume: As in “I always pay a little extra for the aeroplane seats with more legume.”
  • Tube of → Tuber: As in “Can I please purchase a tuber hand cream?”
  • Too bad → Tuberd: As in “You want some? Tuberd, it’s all mine.” and “Tuberd the shoes don’t fit you.”
  • To burn → Tubern: As in “You need tuber-n your boats.” and “I’ve got so much energy tuber-n.” and “You’re going tuber-n your bridges.”
  • To be → Tuber: As in “Tuber or not tuber, that is the question.”
  • To buy → Tuber: As in “I want tuber a new pair of shoes.”
  • *uber*: Words that contain the “uber” sound (or similar) can sometimes be potato puns: extuberant (exuberant), tuberis (hubris), protuberances, tuberty (puberty), tuberculosis.
  • I am → I yam: As in “I yam who I yam.” and “I think, therefore I yam.” and “I yam what I eat.” Note: a yam is a vegetable similar to sweet potato (although they’re unrelated).
  • Yum → Yam: As in, “Let’s have yam cha,” and “What a yammy meal.” Note: yum cha is a Cantonese style of cuisine.
  • Yankee → Yamkee: As in “The New York Yamkees are up 3 points!”
  • *yam*: If a word contains the “yam” sound (or even vaguely similar) we can create silly yam puns: accyamulation (accumulation), argyament (argument), consortiyam, docyamentaries, doyamentationmonyaments, Yamaha.
  • Pumpkin: As in, “Cheater, cheater, pumpkin eater,” and “Peter, peter, pumpkin eater,” and “Pumpkin head,” and “Turn into a pumpkin.”
  • Pie → Pumpkin pie: “Easy as pumpkin pie,” and “Sweet as pumpkin pie,” and “Fingers in many pumpkin pies,” and “Piece of the pumpkin pie.” Note: these also work for apple pie, as in “Easy as apple pie,” and “Sweet as apple pie.”
  • Bumpkin → Pumpkin: As in “I’m a bit of a country pumpkin, but I’m getting used to the city.”
  • Apple: Since apple pie is such a common variety of pie, you may be able to make a pie pun by just mentioning the word “apple” as in “You’re the apple of my eye” and “How do you like them apples?” and “Bad apple” and “The big apple” and “Apple of discord.” and “Apple’s new iPhone”.
  • Pie: There are several phrases/idioms which contain the word “pie”: “Easy as pie” and “To eat humble pie” and “As sweet as pie” and “Pie in the sky” and “Pie-eyed” and “A piece of the pie” and “Sweetie pie” and “Cutie pie” and “Shut your pie hole” and “A finger in every pie” and “Pie chart / Pie graph”.
  • Pi (π) → Pie: The Greek letter “pi” is commonly used in maths to represent the number which is the ratio of the circumference to the diameter of a circle.
  • I → Pie: As in “Pie couldn’t care less.” and “Pie beg to differ” and “Pie beg your pardon!” and “Pie can feel it in my bones.” and “Pie kid you not.” and “Well, pie never!” and “Pie see what you did there.” and “Pie stand corrected.”
  • I’m → Pie’m: As in “Pie’m all ears” and “Pie’m outta here!”
  • Eye → Pie: As in “Beauty is in the pie of the beholder.” and “As far as the pie can see” and “Bird’s pie view” and “It caught my pie” and “A pie for a pie, a tooth for a tooth.” and “Pie of the Tiger” and “In the pie of the storm” and “Pie up the competition” and “I’ve got my pie on you” and “In the blink of a pie” and “In my mind’s pie” and “Keep a pie out for …” and “In the public pie” and “I spy with my little pie” and “Keep your pie on the ball” and “Sleep with one pie open” and “Turn a blind pie” and “Through the pie of a needle”.
  • Buy → Pie: As in “The best that money can pie” and “Pie and sell” and “Pie one, get one free” and “Pie low, sell high” and “I need you to pie me some time”.
  • Bye → Pie: As in “Goodpie, cruel world.” and “Goodpie and good riddance” and “Pie-pie for now (PPFN)” and “Hush a pie“.
  • By → Pie: As in “Bit pie bit” and “Abide pie the rules” and “I was taken pie surprise” and “We won pie a hair’s breadth” and “Pie a show of hand’s, who …” and “She was, pie all appearances, …” and “Pie all means” and “Pie any means necessary” and “Pie any stretch of the imagination” and “Pie hell or high water” and “Pie Jove” and “We need to do it all pie the book” and “Pie the same token” and “Day pie day” and “Fall pie the wayside” and “Hard done-pie“. Note: “By Jove” is an expression of surprise.
  • *bi* → *pie*: As in, apie-de (abide), antipie-otic (antibiotic), autopieography (autobiography), pie-as (bias), pie-polar (bipolar), piesexual (bisexual), pie-curious (bicurious), pie-ble (bible), piecarbonate (bicarbonate), pie-ceps (biceps), piecycle (bicycle), pie-odegradable (biodegradable), pie-odiversity (biodiversity), pieography (biography), pie-ological (biological), pieson (bison), pie-t (bite), Du-pie (Dubai), lullapie (lullaby) and sympieosis (symbiosis).
  • Prize → Pies: As in “Keep your eyes on the pies” and “A pies catch” and “My most piesed possession.”
  • Pause → Pies: As in “It was a tragedy that gave us all pies for thought.”
  • Pose → Pies: As in “Strike a pies” and “Pies a question” and “Will you pies for my painting?”
  • Poise → Pies: As in “Pies and good manners can be cultivated in a person.”
  • Piece → Pies: As in “Pies of the action” and “A nasty pies of work” and “A pies of my mind” and “A conversation pies” and “Pies of crap” and “You want a pies of me?” and “All of a pies” and “Say your pies“.
  • Pirate → Pierate: As in “Online pieracy” and “Pierates attacked the harbour.”
  • Spy → Spie: As in “I spie with my little eye”.
  • Piety: As in “Acts of piety and charity.” and “Piety and religious zeal are irrational and often harmful to society.” Note: Piety is the act of being religiously devout.
  • *pie*: If a word contains the “pie” sound (or similar), we might be able to turn it into a terrible pie pun. Note that some puns of this type are already in the list (above and below this item), but I’ve included them again here so they’re all in one place. Here I use hyphens or underlines for cheesy emphasis, but you can of course present them however you like: occu-pie-d (occupied), pie-lot (pilot), piep (pipe), em-pie-re (empire), inspiered, pie-ous (pious), des-pie-t (despite), pie-l (pile), occu-pie, pien (pine), piety, spie (spy),  pient (pint), expiered (expired), pie-oneer, s-pie-der, s-pie-ces, alpiene, as-pie-ring (aspiring), com-pie-led, spiene, cons-pie-red, s-pie-tful, s-pie-ky, pie-racy, magpie, vampiere, pieneapple, ex-pie-ry, pers-pie-re, preoccu-pie-d, pie-romaniac, s-pie-derman, pie-thon, pie-pline.
  • Pie*: There are a couple of words that start with the letters “pie” but not with the “pie” sound. These aren’t phonetic puns, so you can’t speak them, but they may be useful still for written word play: piece, pieces, pier, pierce, piercing, piercings, pierced, piecemeal. Note: piecemeal means bit by bit.
  • P*: Words that simply start with “p” can sometimes be turned into terrible pie puns: pieticularly (particularly), piepose (purpose), piessibility (possibility), pievate (private), pietential (potential), piement (payment), pieblish (publish), piemary school, pieblication (publication), pieority (priority), piellution (pollution), piesuade (persuade), pielitics (politics), piesentation (presentation), piessession (possession), piem (poem), piesue (persue), piessenger (passenger), pied (pride), piecentage, pieliceman, pieception (perception), pieticipation, pieschology (psychology), piemanent marker, pieliamentary (parliamentary), pietrait (portrait), pie-ano (piano), pie-riod (period), pieliticians (politicians).
  • *ply/pli* → *pie*: As in, piewood (plywood), pieing (plying), pie-ers (pliers), pie-ometric (plyometric), ap-pie (apply), sup-pie (supply), com-pie (comply), re-pie (reply), sim-pie (simply), multipie (multiply), dee-pie (deeply).
  • Pilates → Pie-lates: As in, “There’s a big difference between yoga and pie-lates.”
  • Tart: A tart is similar to a pie except that it has an “open top” (no pastry “lid”). The term “tart” has also been used historically to refer to a prostitute and is still used as a slut-shaming term today (a derogatory term for women and girls who don’t conform to traditional expectations of sexual behaviour or dress).
  • Slice: Since pies are so commonly eaten in slices, you may be able to make a pie pun by simply mentioning the word “slice”, as in “No matter which way you slice it” and “Slice of the action”.
  • Trust → Crust: As in “Crust me, I’m a doctor.” and “That was a breach of crust.” and “He’s a crustworthy young man.”
  • Christ → Crust: As in “Crust has fallen, crust has risen.” and “Crust is a main figurehead in western mythology.”
  • Crusty: This term can refer to someone (especially an older person) who is bad-tempered.
  • Rusty → Crusty: As in “My punning skills are a little crusty, sorry.”
  • Just → Crust: As in “It’s crust not my day today.” and “It’s crust around the corner.” and “Crust add water.” and “It’s crust a matter of time.”
  • Cust* → Crust*: If a word begins with “cust”, swap it with “crust”: crustodian, crustomer, crustom, crustomary, crustody, crustard, crustodial, crustomise, crustomarily.
  • *ust* → *crust*: If a word has the “ust”, it can sometimes be made into a crust pun: crustice (justice), crustification (justification), crustachioed (mustachioed), crustainable (sustainable), crustainability (sustainability).
  • Roast: A “roast” can refer to an event where a guest of honour is teased and made fun of (in good spirit). The saying “roast snow in a furnace” refers to a futile and often ridiculous task.
  • Rest → Roast: As in “No roast for the wicked” and “Roast assured that …” and “Roast on your laurels” and “And the roast is history” and “Oh give it a roast will you?” and “A cut above the roast” and “I roast my case”. Note: to rest on your laurels is to be so satisfied with your work that no further efforts are made.
  • Arrest → A roast: As in “You are under a roast.” and “He was charged with resisting a roast.” and “Citizen’s a roast.”
  • Back → Bake: As in “Bake in my day…” and “As soon as my bake is turned” and “At the bake of my mind” and “Bake to the Future” and “Bake in business” and “Bake in the saddle” and “Bake seat driver” and “Bake to school” and “Bake to the drawing board” and “Behind your bake” and “Come crawling bake” and “Behind my bake” and “Double bake” and “Get bake on your feet” and “Bake to bake” and “Kick bake and enjoy” and “Like water off a duck’s bake” and “Laid bake” and “Money bake guarantee” and “Never look bake” and “One step forward, two steps bake” and “Right bake at ya” and “Pat on the bake” and “Put your bake into it” and “Turn bake the clock” and “Wind at your bake” – There are many more baking puns like this to be made, but those should be enough to get you started.
  • Half-baked: This means “not completely planned or thought out”. For example: “Your half-baked cooking puns are going to make people angry.”
  • Break → Bake: As in “Bake out into a cold sweat” and “Bake the bank” and “Bake new ground” and “Ground-baking new research” and “Bake the mould” and “Make a clean bake” and “An even bake” and “And then all hell bakes loose” and “Bake a world record” and “Baking news!” and “Never bake your promises” and “Don’t bake their heart” and “Oh give me a bake.” and “Lucky bake“.
  • Desert → Dessert: As in “The Sahara dessert.” and “Just desserts.” and “How could you dessert me at the moment I needed you the most?”
  • Dissertation → Dessertation: As in “I wrote my diploma dessertation on candy puns.”
  • Does it → Dessert: As in “It’s comfy, but dessert make my bum look big?” and “Dessert not worry you that society cares so much about appearance?”
  • Utopia → Cornutopia: As in, “This place is a cornutopia,” and “So nice it’s cornutopian.” Note: this is a play on cornucopia – also known at the horn of plenty, a symbol of abundance and common in harvest festivals.
  • Bless/blessing: As in, “Bless their cotton socks,” and “Blessing in disguise,” and “A mixed blessing,” and “Count one’s blessings.” Note: The context of blessing in harvest festivals is of the land to the people, rather than of a religious nature. To bless one’s cotton socks is to express affection for someone you think is endearing or cute.
  • Bliss → Bless: As in, “Blessed out,” and “A blessful slumber,” and “Domestic bless,” and “Ignorance is bless,” and “Marital bless.” Note: to be blissed out is to be in a peaceful, relaxed and happy state.
  • Press → Bless: As in, “Don’t bless your luck,” and “Freedom of the bless,” and “Hard blessed,” and “Bless into service,” and “Bless on,” and “Bless the button,” and “No such thing as bad bless,” and “Any bless is good bless,” and “I’m blessed for time,” and “Bless all the right buttons,” and “Stop the blesses!” Notes: to be hard pressed is to experience a lot of difficulties in a situation. Freedom of the press is the right to publish without governmental restrictions or interference.
  • Dress → Bless: As in, “All blessed up and nowhere to go,” and “Change of a-bless,” and “Bless code,” and “Bless for success,” and “In a state of unbless,” and “Power blessing.”
  • Crop: As in, “A bumper crop,” and “Cream of the crop,” and “Crop up,” and “I cropped the photo using Procreate.” Note: a bumper crop is an unexpectedly productive harvest.
  • Crap → Crop: As in, “A load of crop,” and “Bunch of crop,” and “Cut the crop,” and “The cropper,” and “Full of crop,” and “Do bears crop in the woods?” and “Don’t crop where you eat,” and “A piece of crop,” and “You scared the crop out of me.”
  • Scrap* → S-crop*: As in, “S-crop iron,” and “Bow and s-crope,” and “S-crope along,” and “S-crope the bottom of the barrel,” and “S-crope through,” and “S-crope together,” and “Table s-crops.”
  • Cop → Crop: As in, “Crop an attitude,” and “Crop out,” and “Crop shop,” and “It’s a fair crop,” and “Undercover crop,” and “Crop onto something,” and “A dirty crop.” Notes: to cop an attitude is to behave rudely. A fair cop is when you acknowledge that you’ve been caught doing wrong.
  • *cop* → *crop*: As in, “Under the microscrope,” and “Scrope out,” and “Cropycat,” and “Carbon cropy.”
  • *crop*: Emphasise the “crop” in certain words to make some corny Thanksgiving puns: acrophobia, microphone, acropolis and outcrop. Notes: Acrophobia is an extreme and irrational fear of heights. An acropolis is a citadel.
  • Grain: As in, “Against the grain,” and “Grain of truth,” and “Take with a grain of salt.” Notes: to take something with a grain of salt is to think of it critically or skeptically.
  • Rain → Grain: As in, “Right as grain,” and “Chasing grainbows,” and “Come grain or shine,” and “Grain on my parade,” and “Make it grain,” and “Graindrops keep falling on my head,” and “Graining cats and dogs,” and “Singin’ in the grain,” and “Somewhere over the grainbow,” and “Spitting with grain.” Notes: to chase rainbows is to go after unrealistic things. To rain on someone’s parade is to ruin a happy moment for them.
  • Grey → Grain: As in, “Fifty shades of grain,” and “A grain area,” and “Grain is the new black,” and “Grain matter,” and “Shades of grain.” Note: shades of grey refers to the complexity of a situation.
  • Brain → Grain: As in, “All brawn and no grains,” and “Beat your grains out,” and “Grain dead,” and “Grain fart,” and “Grain teaser,” and “Grain wave,” and “Grainstorming session,” and “Got it on the grain,” and “Hare grained,” and “A no-grainer,” and “Pick your grains,” and “Rack your grains,” and “It’s not grain surgery.”
  • Grind → Grain-d: As in, “Bump and grain-d,” and “Daily grain-d,” and “Grain-d down,” and “Grain-d to a halt,” and “Nose to the grain-dstone,” and “Don’t like the bastards grain-d you down.” Note: to have your nose to the grindstone is to work hard.
  • Gain → Grain: As in, “Capital grains,” and “Grain an advantage,” and “Ill-gotten grains,” and “No pain, no grain,” and “Nothing ventured, nothing grained.” Note: a capital gain is a profit from the sale of a capital asset (like stock or real estate).
  • *gain* → *grain*: As in, “Agrainst all odds,” and “Agrainst the clock,” and “Bar-grain basement,” and “Come a-grain?” and “A fool’s bar-grain,” and “Here we go a-grain,” and “More than you bar-grained for,” and “Now and a-grain,” and “A race agrainst time,” and “You can say that a-grain,” and “Back agrainst the wall.”
  • *ray* → *grain*: Change the “ray” sound in some words to “grain”: grain-ciously (graciously), engrainve (engrave), grain-dation (gradation), grain-dient (gradient), immi-grain-tion (immigration), ingrain-dient (ingredient).
  • Reap: As in, “Reap what you sow,” and “The grim reaper,” and “Reap the harvest.”
  • *reap*: Emphasise the “reap” in certain words – reapply, reappear, reappoint, and preapprove.
  • *reep* → *reap*: Change the “reep” sound in certain words to “reap” for some fun Thanksgiving puns: Creap, creapy, preapared, preapay, reapack, reapaid, reapeat, reapercussion, reaplace, reaplenish, reaport, reaposition, reapress, reaprieve, reaprint, reaproduce, reapublic, reapulsive, reapurchase, reapentant and reapugnant. Note: repugnant means very distasteful or disgusting.
  • Autumn: As in, “An autumn romance.” Note: an autumn romance is a relationship that occurs later in life.
  • Bottom → Bautumn: As in, “Smooth as a baby’s bautumn,” and “Bet your bautumn dollar,” and “Bautumn feeder,” and “Bautumns up!” and “A bautumnless pit,” and “From the bautumn of my heart,” and Get to the bautumn of,” and “Hit rock bautumn,” and “Scraping the bautumn of the barrel,” and “The bautumn line.”
  • Farm: As in, “Bought the farm,” and “Farm fresh.”
  • Pharm* → Farm*: Farmacy, farmacist, farmacology, farmaceuticals.
  • *arm → *farm*: As in, “Farm candy,” and “Farmed and dangerous,” and “Farmed struggle,” and “Farmed to the hilt,” and “As long as your farm,” and “Brothers in farms,” and “A call to farms,” and “Cost a farm and a leg,” and “First, do no farm,” and “Give your right farm for,” and “In farm’s way,” and “No farm, no foul,” and “Up in farms,” and “With open farms.”
  • *firm* → *farm*: Farmly (firmly), farmware (firmware), affarm (affirm), confarm (confirm), infarm (infirm), reaffarm (reaffirm).
  • Barley → Barely: As in, “Barley there,” and “I can barley hear you.” Note: barley is a type of cereal grain.
  • Bare → Barley: As in, “Barley necessities,” and “Barley one’s teeth,” and “A barley-faced lie,” and “Laid barley,” and “The barley bones.”
  • Burly → Barley: As in, “Hurly barley,” and “A barley security guard.” Note: hurly burly refers to noisiness or chaos.
  • Feast: As in, “Bean-feast,” and “Feast your eyes on this,” and “Midnight feast,” and “A feast for the eyes.” Note: A bean-feast is a celebratory meal or party.
  • Fast* → Feast*: As in, “Feast as greased lightning,” and “As feast as his legs could go,” and “Bed and breakfeast,” and “Feast and furious,” and “In the feast lane,” and “Feaster than a speeding bullet,” and “Not so feast!” and “Pull a feast one,” and “Lightning feast.” Note: in the fast lane refers to a highly active and risky lifestyle.
  • Fest* → Feast*: As in, “No problem is so bad it can’t feaster awhile longer,” and “Going to the music feastival?”
  • Feasible → Feast-ible: As in, “I told you, that project isn’t feast-ible.” Note: if something isn’t feasible, then it isn’t possible or practical to achieve.
  • Fist → Feast: As in “I’ll rule with an iron feast.”
  • Dinner: As in, “Dinner and a movie,” and “Dinner date,” and “A dog’s dinner.” Note: if something is a dog’s dinner, then it’s an unappealing mess.
  • Eat: As in, “A bite to eat,” and “All you can eat,” and “Bet you can’t just eat one,” and “Eat a balanced diet,” and “Eat and run,” and “Eat dirt,” and “Eat humble pie,” and “Eat like a bird,” and “Eat my dust,” and “Eat someone alive,” and “Eat to live, rather than live to eat,” and “Eat your words,” and “Eaten up with jealousy,” and “Eating for two,” and “Good enough to eat,” and “Let them eat cake,” and “Man eater,” and “I’ll eat my hat.” Note: to eat your words is to regret or retract a previous statement.
  • *eat*: It’s become a tradition to overeat at Thanksgiving, so we can make some bad Thanksgiving puns by emphasising the “eat” in certain words: eatery, eaten, eating, beat, browbeat, great, seat, treat, heat, neat, cheat, feather, weather, death and wheat.
  • *eet* → *eat*: Change the “eet” in certain words to “eat” – sheat (sheet), streat (street), sweat (sweet), discreat (discreet), feat (feet), fleat (fleet), sleat (sleet), beatle (beetle), teath (teeth).
  • *eat*: Use words with an “eat” sound – athl-eat (athlete), burreato, compl-eat (complete), comp-eat (compete), concr-eat (concrete), el-eat (elite), eat-ernal (eternal), incogneato, margareata, mosqeato (mosquito), pet-eat (petite).
  • Feed: As in, “Bite the hand that feeds you,” and “Bottom feeder,” and “Feed your mind,” and “Feeding frenzy.”
  • Fowl: As in, “Neither fish nor fowl.” Note: this refers to something which is not easily categorised.
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • Foul → Fowl: As in, “By fair or fowl means,” and “Cry fowl,” and “Fowl language,” and “Fowl up,” and “No harm, no fowl,” and “Fowl play,” and “Fall fowl,” and “Run afowl of,” and “To err is human, but to really fowl things up requires a computer.” Notes: to foul something up is to ruin it. To fall foul of, or run afoul, is to get into problematic situations with someone or something.
  • Fall → Fowl: As in, “A fowling out,” and “Easy as fowling off a log,” and “Bread always fowls butter side down,” and “Can’t help fowling in love,” and “Catch a fowling star,” and “Fowl about laughing,” and “Fowl between the cracks,” and “Fowl from grace,” and “Fowl into bad habits,” and “A fowlen angel,” and “Oh how the mighty have fowlen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fowl,” and “United we stand, divided we fowl.”
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • Holiday: As in, “Happy holidays,” and “Holiday cheer,” and “Holiday of a lifetime,” and “Holiday romance,” and “Home for the holidays.”
  • *fal* → *fowl*: As in, fowllacy (fallacy), fowlter (falter), fowlse (false), fowllout (fallout), buffowlo (buffalo), crestfowllen (crestfallen), defowlt (default), downfowl (downfall), fowlsetto (falsetto), fowlt (fault), fowlsify (falsify), freefowl (freefall), nightfowl (nightfall), waterfowl (waterfall).
  • Paltry → Poultry: As in, “A poultry amount.” Note: paltry means a small or meagre sum.
  • Poetry → Poultry: As in, “Poultry in motion,” and “Spoken word poultry.” Note: spoken word poetry is performative poetry that tends to involve themes of social justice.
  • Poltergeist → Poultrygeist: As in, “Peeves the poultrygeist.” Note: Peeves is a famous poltergeist from the Harry Potter series.
  • Peek* → Pecan: As in, “A sneak pecan,” and “Are you pecan?”
  • *Peak → *Pecan: As in, “A pecan performance,” and “Like s-pecan to a brick wall.”
  • We can → Pecan: As in, “Pecan do it!”
  • Potato → Sweet Potato: As in, “Drop it like a sweet potato,” and “Small sweet potatoes.” Note: small potatoes refers to unimportant things.
  • Maze → Maize: As in, “A mighty maize,” and “A twisting, turning labyrinth of a maize.” Note: maize is another name for corn.
  • Amaze/amazing → Amaize/amaize-ing: As in, “What an amaize-ing effort!” and “You never cease to amaize me.”
  • *mise → *maize: As in, minimaize (minimise), surmaize (surmise), victimaize (victimise), compromaize (compromise), customaize (customise), maximaize (maximise).
  • Wheat: As in, “Separate the wheat from the chaff.” Note: to separate the wheat from the chaff is to separate the valuable from the worthless.
  • Wait → Wheat: As in, “An accident wheat-ing to happen,” and “Good things come to those who wheat,” and “Heart attack wheat-ing to happen,” and “Lie in wheat,” and “The wheat-ing game,” and “Ready and wheat-ing,” and “The wheat is over,” and “Time wheats for no-one,” and “Wheat in line,” and “Wheat just a minute,” and “Wheat-ing by the phone,” and “Just you wheat and see.”
  • White → Wheat: As in, “A wheater shade of pale,” and “A wheat knight,” and “Wheat as a ghost,” and “Wheat as a sheet,” and “Great wheat shark,” and “Like wheat on rice,” and “Little wheat lie,” and “Men in wheat coats,” and “Not everything is black and wheat,” and “Wheat water rafting.” Note: like white on rice refers to a very close situation.
  • Sweet → Swheat: As in, “Home swheat home,” and “Swheat dreams,” and “Swheat nothings,” and “A swheat tooth,” and “Swheaten the pot,” and “Swheaten the deal,” and “Swheatheart,” and “Take the bitter with the swheat,” and “Short but swheat.”
  • Sweat → Swheat: As in, “Blood, swheat and tears,” and “Beads of swheat,” and “Break out in a cold swheat,” and “Don’t swheat it,” and “Running with swheat,” and “My new swheater,” and “Swheating bullets,” and “Swheat it out.”
  • Weight → Wheat: As in, “Pull your wheat,” and “Punching above your wheat,” and “Throw your wheat around,” and “Watch your wheat,” and “A wheat off my mind,” and “Worth your wheat in gold,” and “A dead wheat.”
  • *ate* → *wheat*: As in, evacu-wheat (evacuate), fluctu-wheat (fluctuate), and gradu-wheat (graduate).
  • We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
  • We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
  • What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
  • Care at → Carrot: As in “I don’t carrot all.”
  • Turn up → Turnip: As in “Turnip the music!” and “It’ll turnip somewhere.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena). Note: a subpoena is a witness summon.
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Please → Peas: As in “Do as you peas.” and “Pretty peas?”
  • Pee → Pea: As in “Brb, really need to pea.”
  • Peace → Peas: As in “World peas.” and “Inner peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Rest in peas.” and “War and Peas” and “Keep the peas” and “Peas be with you”
  • Piece → Peas: As in “Peas by peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Peas of cake” and “Real peas of work” and “Peas of pie” and “Real peas of work” and “Speak your peas” and “How long is a peas of string?”
  • *peas*: There are a few words with the “peas” sound in them: centerpeas (centerpiece), earpeas (earpiece), Greenpeas (Greenpeace), masterpeas (masterpiece), mouthpeas (mouthpiece), peasfully, peaskeepers, peastime, Peasa (Pisa), timepeas (timepiece).
  • *pea*: If a word contains the “pea” sound, you can make a terrible pea pun by adjusting the spelling and emphasising the “pea” part: appealing, appease, bumpea (bumpy), centipeade, champeaon, champeaonship, compeate, copearight (copyright), creepea (creepy), dopea (dopey), encyclopeadia, entropea, escapea, espeaonage, Ethiopean, Europeaan, expeadient, frumpea, grumpea, hippea, happea, happeaest, homosapean, impead, loudspeaker, peacock, peafowl, peak, peadiatric, peanalize, philipeano, peano (piano), peaqued, recipeas, recipeantsm repeal, repeat, scorpeaon, speacies, peaple (people), speach, speaker, speachless, therapea.
  • Snap a piece → Snap a peas: This plays on “snap peas” – a very common type of pea: “Can you snap a peas off for me peas (please)?”
  • Bored → Gourd: As in, “Gourd stiff,” and “Gourd to death,” and “Gourd to tears.” Note: a gourd is a type of large fruit with a hard shell.
  • *cord* → *gourd*: As in, “Like a broken regourd,” and “Gourduroy pants,” and “Cut the gourd,” and “For the regourd,” and “In regourd time,” and “Off the regourd,” and “Set the regourd straight,” and “A world regourd,” and “Agourding to,” and “Of your own agourd,” and “To each agourding to their abilities, to each agourding to their needs.”
  • Chord → Gourd: As in, “Strike a gourd.”
  • God → Gourd: As in, “Face like a Greek gourd,” and “An act of gourd,” and “A child of gourd,” and “Food of the gourds,” and “For the love of gourd,” and “Gourd only knows,” and “Oh my gourd,” and “Gourd awful,” and “Gourd bless you,” and “Gourd fearing,” and “Gourd forbid,” and “Honest to gourd,” and “In gourd we trust,” and “Thank gourd it’s Friday.”
  • Good → Gourd: As in, “A gourd man is hard to find,” and “A gourd time was had by all,” and “A little of what you fancy does you gourd,” and “A world of gourd,” and “All gourd things must come to an end,” and “All in gourd time,” and “All publicity is gourd publicity,” and “Gourd as gold,” and “As gourd as it gets,” and “Gourd as new,” and “As gourd as your word,” and “A gourd sport,” and “Damaged gourds,” and “Do a gourd turn,” and “Do you want the gourd news or the bad news?” and “Fight the gourd fight,” and “A jolly gourd fellow,” and “Full of natural gourdness,” and “Gourd afternoon,” and “Gourd things come in small packages,” and “Gourdness gracious me.” There are many more phrases that commonly use the word “good” so be creative! 
  • Guard → Gourd: As in, “Drop your gourd,” and “Gourd against,” and “Gourds! Seize him!” and “Caught off gourd,” and “The bodygourd,” and “Be on your gourd.”
  • Gorgeous → Gourdgeous: As in, “Drop-dead gourdgeous.”
  • Squash: As in, “Squashed together like sardines.” Note: squashes are a type of fruit.
  • Crush → Squash: As in, “A squashing defeat,” and “Have a squash on,” and “Squashed it!”
  • Gravy: As in, “The gravy train,” and “More gravy?” Note: a gravy train is a situation where a lot of benefits can be reaped with very little effort or risk.
  • Grave → Gravy: As in, “Silent as the gravy,” and “Dance on someone’s gravy,” and “Dig your own gravy,” and “From the cradle to the gravy,” and “One foot in the gravy,” and “Turning in their gravy,” and “A watery gravy.” Note: if someone has one foot in the grave, then they’re near death.
  • Graveyard → Gravy-ard
  • Grey → Gravy: As in, “Fifty shades of gravy,” and “A gravy area,” and “Gravy is the new black,” and “Gravy matter,” and “Shades of gravy,” and “I adopted a gravyhound.”
  • Fall*: As in, “A falling out,” and “Easy as falling off a log,” and “Can’t help falling in love,” and “Catch a falling star,” and “Fall about laughing,” and “Fall apart at the seams,” and “Fall asleep,” and “Fall between the cracks,” and “Fall flat,” and “Fall from grace,” and “Hard rain’s gonna fall,” and “How the mighty have fallen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fall.”
  • Full → Fall: As in, “A few bricks short of a fall load,” and “At fall throttle,” and “At fall tilt,” and “Come fall circle,” and “At fall blast,” and “Fall of himself,” and “Not playing with a fall deck.”
  • *ful* → *fall*: As in, mouthfall (mouthful), fallfill (fulfill), beautifall, gratefall, awfall, wonderfall, wistfall, thoughtfall, successfall, dreadfall, faithfall, insightfall, artfally, bashfall, blissfall, boastfall, bountifall, carefall.
  • *fle* → *fall*: As in, baffall (baffle), waffall (waffle), stifall (stifle), trifall (trifle), shuffall, rifall (rifle), scuffall, raffall (raffle), refallect (reflect), infallection (inflection), refallex (reflex).
  • Fle* → Fall*: As in, fallexible (flexible), fallesh (flesh), falleece (fleece), falleeting (fleeting), fallea (flea), falluffy (fluffy), falledgling (fledgling).
  • *fel/fal* → *fall*: As in, Eiffall (Eiffel), fallsehood, fallter, alfallfa (alfalfa), fallafel (felafel – could also be felafall), fallcon, fallible, fallacy.
  • Family: Thanksgiving is a time shared with family and friends, so we’ve added these into this list as well: “Black sheep of the family,” and “Dysfunctional family,” and “Family fortunes,” and “A family man,” and “Family matters,” and “Family ties,” and “Runs in the family,” and “One big happy family.”
  • Friends: As in, “Best friends forever,” and “Circle of friends,” and “Close friends,” and “False friends,” and “Friends don’t let friends drive drunk,” and “How to win friends and influence people.”

Thanksgiving-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Thanksgiving puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

thanksgiving, harvest, turkey, corn, cob, spud, potato, yam, pumpkin, pie, apple, tart, slice, crust, roast, bake, dessert, cornucopia, bless, crop, grain, reap, autumn, farm, barley, feast, dinner, eat, fowl, holiday, poultry, celebration, pecan, festival, potato, sweet potato, maize, wheat, carrot, turnip, bean, peas, gourd, gravy, squash, family, friends

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