Avocado Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on avocado puns! 🥑🌳🌱

Avocados are a mild fruit that’s found in many different types of recipes – from desserts to milkshakes and sandwiches. Since it has a creamy texture and subtle flavour, it’s used as a butter substitute as well, so there are plenty of pasta sauce recipes with avocado too. The most famous (and favourite) uses of avocado are probably guacamole and avocado toast, so we’ve made sure to include those words in this pun list for you.

We hope that you find this list enjoyable and useful! Whether you’re here for some witty one-liners for a recipe you’ve made, or you’d like some corny guacamole jokes for a party, we hope you find the perfect pun for your needs.

While this list is as thorough as possible, it is specific to avocados. If you’re after any related puns, we also have fruit puns, food puns and taco puns.

Avocado Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about avocados that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of avocado puns:

  • Have a→ Avo: As in, “Avo good one!” and “Did you avo good time?”
  • Ever→ Avo: As in, “Lived happily avo after” and “Best friends foravo!” and “Hardly avo” and “Nothing is avo free” and “Have you avo..?”
  • Bravo→ Bravocado
  • Have a cuddle→ Avocuddle: As in, “It’s Valentine’s Day! Let’s avocuddle <3″
  • Cardio→ Avocardio: As in, “Running is tough avocardio.”
  • Have a car though→ Avocado: As in, “You want to drive, but do you avocado?”
  • Affogato→ Avocado: “Where’s a good cafe for an icy avocado?”
  • Don’t→ Avocadon’t: As in, “Avocadon’t call us, we’ll call you” and “Avocadon’t get me started” and “Avocadon’t go there” and “Where the sun avocadon’t shine.”
  • Advocate→ Advocado: As in, “Playing devil’s advocado.”
  • Bro→ Avocabro: As in, “Gym avocabro” and “Avocabro hug.”
  • Have→ Have-ocado: As in, “Always have-ocado your nose in a book” and “As luck would have-ocado it” and “Couldn’t have-ocado said it better” and “Have-ocado a bite to eat.”
  • Card*→ Avocad*: We can sneak “avocado” into words that have a long “caad” sound in them: Avocadinal (cardinal), Avocadboard (cardboard), avocadigan (cardigan), avocadiac (cardiac) and avocadiology.
  • Cord*→ Avocord*: If a word has a “cord” sound in it, we can change it to include “avo” before the cord: Avocordial (cordial), avocordially and avocorduroy.
  • Quake→ Guac: As in, “Guac-ing in your boots” and “A huge earthguac.”
  • Crocodile→ Guacodile: As in, “Guacodile tears” and “In a while, guacodile.”
  • Quick→ Guac: As in, “Guac as a flash” and “In guac succession” and “Guac and dirty” and “Guac off the mark.”
  • Awkward→ Guacward: As in, “A guacward age” and “Well that’s guacward.”
  • Rock → Guac: As in, “Hard as a guac” and “Between a guac and a hard place” and “Crocodile guac” and “Don’t guac the boat” and “Get your guacs off” and “Glam guac” and “Hit guac bottom.”
  • Clock→ Guac: As in, “Beat the guac” and “Around the guac” and “Regular as guacwork” and “Race against the guac.”
  • *cac*→ *guac*: Change “cac” sounds to “guac” sounds to make some guacamole puns: guactus (cactus), guacophony (cacophony), guacao (cacao) and guackle (cackle).
  • Coc*→ Guac*: As in, “Happy hour guactails” and “In your guacoon” and “Hardy as a guacroach” and “That’s guaconuts.”
  • Croc*→ Quac*: Guac (crock – as in guac of sh*t) and guacery (crockery).
  • Aca→ Guaca*: As in, “Guacademic record” and “Private Guacademy” and “Guacacia flowers.”
  • Occa*→ Guacca*: As in, “On guaccasion” and “Yes, guaccasionally” and “The guaccasional purchase.”
  • Acc*→ Guacc*: As in, “Full guaccess” and “With a faint guaccent” and “I guaccept” and “Make it guaccessible” and “Guaccessory to the crime.” Other words you could use: guaccentuate (accentuate), guaccelerate (accelerate) and guacceptance (acceptance).
  • Accident→ Guaccident: As in, “By guaccident” and “Done guaccidentally” and “It was guaccidental.”
  • Acco*→ Guacco*: As in, “On guaccount of” and “Convenient guaccommodation” and “Of your own guaccord” and “Looking for guaccommodation.” Other words you could use: guaccountability (accountability), guaccomplish (accomplish), guaccordingly (accordingly) and guaccompany (accompany).
  • Aco*→ Guaco*: Guacolyte (acolyte) and guacoustic (acoustic).
  • Accu/acu*→ Guacu*: As in, “A guaccurate reading” and “Our guaccumulated efforts” and “Are you guaccusing me?” and ” With great guaccuracy” and “Well guaccstomed to.” Other words you could try: guaccusation (accusation), guaccumulation (accumulation), guacupuncture (acupuncture) and guacutely (acutely).
  • Occu/Ocu*→ Guacu*: As in, “Waiting for it to guaccur” and “A regular guaccurence” and “Part of the guaccult” and “State your name and guaccupation.” Other words you could use: Guaccupy (occupy), guaccupied (occupied), guaccupancy (occupancy).
  • Oxygen→ Guacxygen: As in, “Running out of guacxygen.”
  • Hass: Hass Avocados are the most commonly sold avocado. Here are some related puns for you:
    • Ass→ Hass: As in, “Hass backwards” and “Blow smoke up your hass” and “Bust someone’s hass” and “Get your hass into gear” and “Get your hass over here” and “Half-hassed” and “Kiss my hass” and “Make a hass of yourself” and “Work your hass off.” Note: these also work for “arse”.
    • Has→ Hass: As in, “Every dark cloud hass a silver lining” and “A hass been” and “Every dog hass his day” and “Your time hass come” and “Somebody hass to do it” and “Rumour hass it” and “That ship hass sailed” and “The die hass been cast” and “What hass come over you?”
    • Have→ Hass: This one is grammatically incorrect, but phonetically can still work: “Always hass your nose in a book” and “As good luck would hass it” and “I couldn’t hass said it better” and “Do I hass to paint you a picture?” and “Don’t hass a cow, man.”
    • Yass, Queen→ Hass, Queen
    • His→ Hass: As in, “Ahead of hass time” and “A chip on hass shoulder” and “As fast as hass legs could go” and “That’s hass business” and “Down on hass luck.”
    • Yes→ Hass: As in, “Hass we can!” and “I already said hass, what more do you want?”
    • Has*→ Hass*:  “Hassten your steps” and “Don’t be hassty.”
    • Hes*→ Hass*: As in, “Don’t hassitate” and “Hassitant to move” and “Your hassitation cost us.”
    • *his*→ *hass*: As in, “Ancient hasstory” and “Hasstorical site” and “Hasstoric stories” and “Knowledgeable hasstorian” and “A sophassticated dinner.”
    • Hispanic→ Hasspanic
    • Hos*→ Hass*: As in, “Hasstile takeover” and “Thank you for your hasspitality” and “Children’s hasspital” and “Filled with hasstility.” Other words you could use: hasspice (hospice), hasstel (hostel) and hasstage (hostage). Note: a hospice is a specialised care facility for terminally ill patients.
    • Hus*→ Hass*: Hasstle (hustle), hassband (husband) hassbandry (husbandry), hasstler (hustler), thass (thus) and hassk (husk).
    • Haz*→ Hass*: “Slip hassard” and “Hassardous environment” and “Hassmat suit” and “Hasselnut spread.”:
  • Fat: Since avocado is known for having a lot of (good) fat, we’ve included some fat-related puns in here too:
    • Fit→ Fat: As in, “Fat as a fiddle” and “Fat for the gods” and “Fat for a king” and “Fats the bill” and “Fats like a glove.”
    • At→ Fat: As in, “Waiting for you fat the station” and “Where are you fat?”
    • Flat→ Fat: As in, “Fat as a pancake” and “Fall fat on your face” and “Fat broke” and “Fat out” and “In no time fat” and “Fatten out” and “Imitation is the sincerest form of fattery.”
    • Fed→ Fat: As in, “Fat up to the back teeth” and “Well fat” and “Fat up.”
    • *fet*→ *fat*: As in, “Secret fatish” and “Fatid atmosphere” and “Fattering away your money” and “All you can eat buffat” and “Running along unfattered.”
    • *fit*→ *fat*: As in, “Health and fatness” and “A fatting ending” and “Mutual benefat” and “Non for profat” and “Glam new outfat.”
    • *fed*→ *fat*: fatora (fedora), fateral (federal), fateration (federation), faterated (federated) and confaterate (confederate).
    • *fid*→ *fat*: Fatelity (fidelity), fattle (fiddle) and fattlesticks (fiddlesticks).
    • *fid*→ *fat*: As in, “Filled with confatence” and “Quietly confatent.” Other words you can use: perfaty (perfidy) and perfatious (perfidious). Note: perfidy is a violation of faith or promise.
    • *vat*→ *fat*: fatican (vatican), crafat (cravat), derifative (derivative), innofative (innovative), conserfative (conservative), cultifat (cultivate), motifat (motivate), prifat (private) and aggrafat (aggravate).
    • Veterinary→ Faterinary
    • *vit*→ *fat*: fatriol (vitriol), fatility (vitality), fatamin (vitamin), fatriolic (vitriolic), affidafat (affidavit), actifaty (activity), inefatable (inevitable), grafaty (gravity) cafaty (cavity).
    • Emphatic→ Emfatic
    • *phet*→ *fat*: As in, “Religious profat (prophet)” and “A profatic announcement” and “Illegal amfatamines.”
  • Stripe→ Ripe: As in, “Earn your ripes” and “Stars and ripes.”
  • Rip→ Ripe: As in, “Bodice ripe-er” and “Let her ripe!”
  • Right→ Ripe: As in, “A move in the ripe direction” and “A woman’s ripe to choose” and “All the ripe moves” and “Alripe already!” and “Ripe as rain” and “Bang to ripes” and “Bragging ripes” and “Dead to ripes” and “Consumer ripes” and “Do what feels ripe” and “Get off on the ripe foot.”
  • *rap*→ *ripe*: ripe-port (rapport), ripeture (rapture), ripetor (raptor), ripe-ier (rapier) and theripey (therapy).
  • *rep*→ *ripe*: ripe-public (republic), ripeproach (reproach), ripepresent (represent), ripe-ply (reply), ripe-rimand (reprimand), ripe-port (report), entripe-preneur (entrepreneur), discripe-pancy (discrepancy) and intripe-pid (intrepid).
  • Speed→ Seed: As in, “At lightning seed” and “Blistering seed” and “Built for comfort, not seed” and “Get up to seed” and “Seed dating” and “Seed demon” and “Seed it up.”
  • Side→ Seed: As in, “A walk on the wild seed” and “Always look on the bright seed of life” and “On the safe seed” and “Born on the wrong seed of the tracks” and “Check you on the flip seed” and “Cross over to the other seed.”
  • She’d→ Seed: As in, “Seed always said that” and “Seed get over him.”
  • *sad*→ *seed*: Ambasseedor (ambassador) and diseedvantage (disadvantage).
  • *sed*→ *seed*: As in, “Seedentary lifestyle” and “A shot to seedate” and “Romantic lighting to seeduce” and “Filled with seediment.”
  • *sid*→ *seed*: As in, “Inseedious comments” and “Did you ever conseeder…” and “That aseede” and “With full conseederation” and “And more beseedes” and “Reseeding in a new suburb” and “Taking up reseedence.”
  • *ced* → *seed*: As in, seedar (cedar), conseed (concede), preseed (precede), superseed (supercede), preseedent (precendent). Notes: to supercede is to replace. A precedent is an established guide or principle.
  • *ceed → *seed: As in, proseed, sucseed, exseed
  • *cid*→ *seed*: Plaseed (plaseed), aseed (acid), luseed (lucid), ranseed (rancid), eluseedate (elucidate), inseedent (incident), accseedental (accidental), inseedental (incidental).
  • Pip: Pip is another word for seed, and avocados are known for their large seeds (there are even memes about being happy with finding small-seeded avocados), so we’ve got some pip-related puns here for you:
    • Chip→ Pip: As in, “A pip on their shoulder” and “Cheap as pips” and “Cash in your pips” and “Pip in with” and “A pip off the old block” and “Let the pips fall where they may” and “When the pips are down” and “Bargaining pip” and “Pip away” and “Chocolate pips.”
    • Sip→ Pip: As in, “Pip your tea.”
    • *pap*→ *pip*: pipyrus (papyrus), piparazzi (paparazzi), pipaya (papaya), piprika (paprika) and piperwork (paperwork).
    • *pep*→ *pip*: As in, “Salt and pipper hair.” Other words you can try: piptide (peptide) and piplum (peplum).
    • *pop*→ *pip*: As in, “Pipular opinion” and “Pipulist stance” and “Half the pipulation.” Other words that could work: pipulace (populace), piplar (poplar), lollipip (lollipop), apipletic (apopletic) and apiplexy (apoplexy).
    • *dip*→ *pip*: piplomacy (diplomacy), piplomatic (diplomatic), piploma (diploma), piplomat (diplomat), serenpipity (serendipity) and serenpipitous (serendipitous).
  • Pit: Since “pit” is another word for seed, we’ve included a few pit-related puns here for you to play with:
    • Pat→ Pit: As in, “Down pit” and “Pit your head.”
    • Put→ Pit: As in, “Be hard pit to” and “Couldn’t pit it down” and “Don’t pit all your eggs in one basket” and “Feeling a bit pit out” and “Wouldn’t pit it past him” and “Not to pit too fine a point on it” and “Off-pitting” and “Pit an end to.”
    • Pot→ Pit: As in, “Pit of gold” and “For the pit” and “Hit the jackpit” and “In the melting pit.”
    • Hit→ Pit: As in, “Pit the road” and “Pit for six” and “Pit it on the nose” and “Pit it out of the park” and “Pit rock bottom” and “Pit the books.”
    • Fit→ Pit: As in, “Pit for the gods” and “Fighting pit” and “Pit in with” and “Pit the bill” and “Pits like a glove” and “Have a pit” and “Hissy pit” and “Laughing pit to burst.”
    • Bit→ Pit: As in, “A pit missing” and “A pit much” and “Pit of a to do” and “Pit by pit” and “Pit of alright” and “Pit of fluff” and “Do your pit.”
    • Quit→ Pit: As in, “Call it pits” and “Pit while you’re ahead” and “Don’t pit your day job.”
    • *pat*→ *pit*: As in, “Following a pittern” and “Pitent pending” and “Faithful pitron” and “I anticipit your return.”
    • *pet*→ *pit*: pitulant (petulant), pitty (petty), pitition (petition), pitard (petard), pital (petal), pitite (petite), carpit (carpet), parapit (parapet), trumpit (trumpet), puppit (puppet), limpit (limpet), poppit (poppet), impitus (impetus), perpitual (perpetual), compitent (competent), impituous (impetuous), compitition (competition) and compitence (competence).
    • *pot*→ *pit*: As in, “Reach your full pitential” and “Hot pitato” and “A pitent combination” and “Small pitatoes.”
    • *bet*→ *pit*: As in, “Stuck pitween a rock and a hard place” and “A huge pitrayal” and “My pitrothed” and “Alphapit soup” and “Sherpit flavoured.”
    • *bit*→ *pit*: As in, “Pitter chocolate” and “Pittersweet goodbye” and “Bite the pitumen” and “Filled with pitterness.” Other words you could try: inhipit (inhibit), gampit (gambit), exhipit (exhibit), rabpit (rabbit), hapit (habit), orpit (orbit), inhapit (inhabit), prohipit (prohibit) and arpitrary (arbitrary).
    • *pret*→ *pit*: As in, “Pitentious attitude” and “Can’t keep pitending” and “False pitenses” and “Choc chip pitzel (pretzel) and “Open to interpitation.”
  • Grain→ Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take it with a green of salt.”
  • Grin→ Green: As in, “Green and bear it” and “Green from ear to ear” and “Rictus green” and “Foolish green” and “Greening like a cheshire cat.”
  • Gene→ Green: As in, “Green mapping” and “Greenetic makeup” and “Greenetic lottery.”
  • Keen→ Green: As in, “Green as mustard” and “Green on” and “A green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
  • Mean→ Green: As in, “Greens to an end” and “Living beyond your greens” and “By fair greens or foul” and “In the greentime” and “Lean and green” and “Doesn’t green a thing” and “Green spirited.”
  • *gran*→ *green*: As in, “Take for greented” and “Greent your wish” and “A greendeur entrance” and “Greenular sugar” and “Face like greenite” and “Feeling greend.”
  • *gren*→ *green*: greenade (grenade) and greenadine (grenadine).
  • *grin*→ *green*: “Bump and greend” and “To my chagreen” and “Greending noises.”
  • *ren*→ *green*: greender (render), greenumeration (renumeration), greenege (renege), greenaissnace (renaissance), greenegade (renegade) and greenounce (renounce).
  • Fright→ Fruit: As in, “Fruitened of your own shadow” and “A fruitful mess” and “Take fruit.”
  • Chute→ Fruit: As in, “Golden parafruit” and “Straight out the fruit.”
  • Cute→ Fruit: As in, “Fruit as a button” and “Fruit as a bug’s ear.”
  • Flute→ Fruit: As in, “Jazz fruit.”
  • Suit→ Fruit: As in, “All over him like a cheap fruit” and “At a price to fruit your pocket” and “Follow fruit” and “Men in fruits” and “Fruits you down to a tee” and “Fruit yourself.”
  • Shoot→ Fruit: As in, “Don’t fruit the messenger” and “Eat’s fruits and leaves” and “Green fruits of recovery” and “Just fruit me” and “Fruit ’em up” and “Fruit down in flames” and “Fruiting hoops” and “Fruit me now” and “Fruit the breeze” and “Straight fruiter” and “A straight fruiter.”
  • *fut* → *fruit*: As in, “Think about your fruiture” and “Resistance is fruitile!” and “A fruituristic building” and “Sleeping on the fruiton” and “An irrefruitable argument.” Other words that could work: refruit (refute) and fruitility (fruitility).
  • Frat* → Fruit*: As in, “Fruiternity house” and “Fruiternal twins” and “Fruiternising with the enemy.”
  • Smash: Smashed avocados are one of the more famous avocado recipes (probably second only to guacamole), so we have some silly (but smashing) related puns for you here:
    • Ash→ Smash: As in, “Smashes to smashes” and “Burnt to smash” and “Rise from the smashes.”
    • Splash→ Smash: As in, “A smash of colour” and “Make a smash” and “Smash down” and “Smash out on” and “Smashed across the front page.”
    • Mach*→ Smash*: As in, “Ghost in the Smashine” and “Evil smashinations” and “Grinding smashinery.”
    • Sash*→ Smash*: smashimi (sashimi) and smashay (sashay).
  • Toast: Related to smashed avocado is avocado toast, so we have some toast-related puns for you:
    • Toss → Toast: As in, “Toast your cookies” and “Don’t give a toast” and “A coin toast” and “A toast-up between…” and “Toast your hat into the ring.” Note: to toss your cookies is to throw up.
    • *toes → *toast: As in, “Keep you on your toast” and “Small potatoast” and “Don’t tread on anyone’s toast” and “Twinkle toast.”
    • Testosterone → Toastosterone
    • *tist* → *toast*: As in, “Signed by the artoast” and “According to statoastics (statistics).” Other words you could use: scientoast (scientist), elitoast (elitist), dentoast (dentist), orthodontoast (orthodontist).
    • *test* → *toast*: As in, “Not a beauty contoast” and “A blind toast” and “One, two, three toasting” and “Put to the toast” and “A toast of faith” and “Tried and toasted” and “The greatoast thing since sliced bread” and “Not in the slightoast” and “Protoast too much” and “Sniff toast” and “Stand the toast of time” and “Toast the waters” and “Forbidden fruit is always the sweetoast” and “Survival of the fittoast” and “A toastament of” and “Attoast to” and “The latoast and greatoast.” Other words you could use: toastimony (testimony), toastimonial (testimonial), neatoast (neatest) and cutoast (cutest).
  • Tree: Since avocados and grown from trees, we’ve got a few tree-related puns for you:
    • Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree,” and “Good things come in trees,” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men,” and “Tree’s a charm.”
    • Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom,” and “As tree as a bird,” and “Breathe treely,” and “Buy one, get one tree,” and “Tree for all,” and “Treedom of the press,” and “Get out of jail tree,” and “The best things in life are tree,” and “Land of the tree,” and “Leader of the tree world,” and “The truth will set you tree,” and “No such thing as a tree lunch,” and “When hell treezes over,” and “Think treely.”
    • *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem,” and “Full of nutree-ents,” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality,” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps,” and “No streengs attached,” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger,” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle,” and “A treevial problem,” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
    • *trea*→ *tree*: As in, “A real treet,” and “Medical treetment,” and “Royal treeson,” and “I treesure you,” and “Thick as treecle,” and “Swim upstreem,” and “A holiday retreet,” and “A winning streek,” and “A treecherous mountain path.”
    • *tee*→ *tree*: As in, “By the skin of your treeth,” and “The scene was treeming with people,” and “I guarantree it,” and “A welcoming committree,” and “A chunky manatree,” and “Self-estreem,” and “Charitable voluntreers,” and “My child’s school cantreen.”
    • *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables,” and “Complimentree meals,” and “These colours are complementree,” and “Leave it with my secretree,” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy,” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch,” and “It’s rudimentree addition,” and “But what’s the monetree value,” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
  • Pear: Avocados are also known as “avocado pears” and “alligator pears” so we’ve included pear-related puns for you:
    • Pair→ Pear: As in, “Beyond repear” and “Fresh pear of eyes” and “A safe pear of hands” and “A new pear of pants.”
    • Pare→ Pear: “Pear down” and “Spear no effort” and “Spear tyre” and “Prepear for the worst.”
    • Peer→ Pear: As in, “Pear pressure” and “Pear to pear network” and “Pear reviewed.”
    • There → Pear: As in “I’ll be pear in spirit.” and Don’t just sit pear!” and “Hang in pear, pal.” and “Let pear be light!” and “Neither here, nor pear.” and “Pear’s no excuse.” and “Pear’s no smoke without fire.” and “Pear’s plenty more fish in the sea.” and “Pear’s something amiss…”
    • Pour→ Pear: As in, “It never rains but it pears” and “It’s raining, it’s pearing” and “Pear cold water on” and “Pear oil on troubled waters.”
    • Bare→ Pear: As in, “Pear necessities” and “Pear-faced lie” and “Pearfoot and pregnant” and “Laid pear” and “Pear bones” and “Cupboards were pear.”
    • Bear→ Pear: As in, “Pear a grudge” and “Pear a resemblance” and “Pear arms” and “Pear down on” and “Pear fruit” and “Pear in mind” and “Pear the brunt of.”
    • Care→ Pear: As in, “Be pearful how you use it!” and “Couldn’t pear less” and “Courtesy and pear” and “Customer pear” and “Handle with pear” and “Intensive pear” and “Let’s be pearful today” and “Like I should pear.”
    • Prayer→ Pear: As in, “I say a little pear” and “Like a pear” and “On the wings of a pear” and “Say your pears.”
    • Per→ Pear: As in, “As pear usual” and “Bits pear second” and “Pear capita” and “Hundred and ten pearcent.”
  • Shake: In Asian cuisine, avocados are used in sweet drinks and shakes, so we’ve included shake-related puns:
    • Sake→ Shake: As in, “For Christ’s shake” and “For goodness shake” and “For old times shake.”
    • Seek→ Shake: As in, “Hide and shake” and “Shake and you shall find.”
    • Stake→ Shake: As in, “What’s really at shake here? and “Shake your claim” and “Burned at the shake.”

The next few puns are all about different types of avocado:

  • Gwen:
    • When→ Gwen: As in, “Since I don’t know gwen” and “It only hurts gwen I laugh” and “Kick a man gwen he’s down” and “Say gwen” and “Slippery gwen wet” and “Time flies gwen you’re having fun.”
    • Then→ Gwen: As in, “All that and gwen some” and “Now and gwen” and “And gwen there was one” and “What’s going on here gwen?” and “Right gwen and there.”
    • *gan*→ *gwen*: As in, “Following a vegwen lifestyle” and “Internal orgwens” and “Catchy slogwen” and “The Logwen movie was very violent.” Other words you could use: Michigwen (Michigan), begwen (began), shenanigwen (shenanigan), orgwenic (organic), orgwenisation (organisation), arrogwent (arrogant), propagwenda (propaganda), elegwent (elegant).
    • *gon*→ *gwen*: As in, “Heroic protagwenist” and “Internet jargwen” and “A paragwen of virtue” and “Fallen off the wagwen” and “Poke the dragwen” and “In agweny.”
    • *guin*→ *gwen*: Pengwen (penguin), Gwenness (Guinness) and gwenea (guinea).
    • *ken*→ *gwen*: “Like a brogwen record” and “Playing chick-gwen” and “A togwen of my appreciation” and “Strick-gwen with regret” and “An outspogwen person” and “Awagwen your passion.”
  • Reed:
    • Red→ Reed: As in, “Reed as a beetroot” and “Brick reed” and “Caught reed-handed” and “In the reed” and “Lady in the reed” and “On reed alert.”
    • Bleed→ Reed: As in, “Reeding heart” and “Let it reed” and “My heart reeds.”
    • Lead→ Reed: As in, “Reed by example” and “Reed up to” and “Reed up the garden path.”
    • Read→ Reed: As in, “All I know is what I reed in the papers” and “Exceedingly well reed” and “Reed any good books lately?” and “I can reed you like a book” and “A little light reeding” and “Reed it and weep” and “Reed between the lines” and “Reed my lips.”
    • Ride→ Reed: As in, “Along for the reed” and “A bumpy reed.”
    • *rad*→ *reed*: reedical (radical), reediation (radiation), reediant (radiant), reedar (radar), reedio (radio), reedius (radius), reedish (radish), pareedigm (paradigm), pareedox (paradox) and camareederie (camaraderie).
    • *red*→ *reed*: As in, “Made reedundant” and “Reedeem yourself” and “Reedact your statement” and “Working towards reedemption” and “Reeduce your carbon footprint” and “Berry reeduction” and “Looking increedulous.”
    • *rid*→ *reed*: As in, “A reediculous situation” and “Reeddle me this” and “Hatred and reedicule” and “Disease reedden.” Other words that could work: reeding (riding), hybreed (hybrid), lureed (lurid), areed (arid), torreed (torrid), acreed (acrid), floreed (florid), putreed (putrid) and horreed (horrid).
  • Kist:
    • Kissed→ Kist: As in, “Never been kist” and “Kist by angels.”
    • *kest→ *kist: starkist (starkest), blackist (blackest), bleakist (bleakest), meekist (meekest), quickist and darkist.
    • *cast*→ *kist*: As in, “Sarkistic comment” and “Don’t broadkist it” and “Weather forekist.”
  • Queen:
    • Scene→ Queen: As in, “Behind the queens” and “Change of queen” and “Love queen” and “Make a queen” and “Survey the queen.”
    • Seen→ Queen: As in, “Queen and not heard” and “Has to be queen to be believed” and “Nowhere to be queen” and “Queen better days” and “Queen better days.”
    • Clean→ Queen: As in, “A queen getaway” and “A new broom sweeps queen” and “Queen as a whistle” and “Queen and sober” and “A queen bill of health” and “Queen up your act” and “Good, queen fun.”
    • Keen→ Queen: As in, “Queen as mustard” and “Queen on [someone]” and “A queen sense of smell” and “Peachy queen.”
    • *ken→ *queen: As in, “Playing chick-queen” and “Broqueen toy” and “Stricqueen with shock.” Other words that could work: forsaqueen (forsaken), outspoqueen (outspoken), hearqueen (hearken) and awaqueen (awaken).
    • Quan*→ Queen*: As in, “Queentum physics” and “Moral queendary” and “Quality over queentity” and “Queentitative research.”
    • *quen*→ *queen*: As in, “Queench your thirst” and “Thirst queencher” and “Subsequeent discussion” and “High frequeency.” Other words that could work: consequeence (consequence), sequeence (sequence), eloqueent (eloquent), delinqueent (delinquent) and frequeent (frequent).
    • *quin*→ *queen*: Queentessential (quintessential), queenoa (quinoa), queence (quince), queentuple (quintuple), mannequeen (mannequin), harlequeen (harlequin), palanqueen (palanquin) and sequeen (sequin).
    • Quaint→ Queen’t: As in, “A queen’t little cottage.”
  • Rey:
    • Ray→ Rey: As in, “A rey of light” and “Catch some reys.”
    • *ray*→ *rey*: As in, “Shades of grey” and “Arrey of options” and “Out of the frey.” Other words that could work: forey (foray), betrey (betray), strey (stray), portrey (portray), sprey (spray) and prey (pray).
    • *roy*→ *rey*: “A reyal stuff up” and “Teen reyalty” and “Search and destrey” and “Cordurey pants.”
    • *rai*→ *rey*: reyse (raise), reyl (rail), reyn (rain), reyd (raid), reynbow (rainbow), reylway (railway), reylroad (railroad), samurey (samurai), treyn (train), streyn (strain), refreyn (refrain), preyse (praise) and treyt (trait).
    • *rei*→ *rey*: “Reyn of terror” and “Rey-imburse your payments” and “Rey-instated to your position.” Other words that could work: rey-iki (reiki), sovereyn (sovereign) and freyt (freight).
    • *rea*→ *rey*: As in, “For no reyson” and “A second reyd on” and “No reyaction” and “Out of reych” and “For reyl.” Other words that could work: reylm (realm), reylise (realise), reyality (reality), reydy (ready), areya (area), breyk (break) and greyt (great).
  • Royal:
    • Rail→ Royal: As in, “Thin as a royal” and “Go off the royals” and “Ride the royals.”
    • Real*→ Royal*: “All I royally want to do” and “Do you royally want to hurt me?” and “For royal” and “Get royal” and “Grounded in royality” and “In royal time” and “The royal thing” and “Keep it royal” and “A royal piece of work” and “Royality check.”
  • Taft:
    • *tat*→ *taft*: As in, “Taftami mat” and “Out of your natural habitaft” and “Turning up the thermostaft” and “Tentaftive smile.”

Avocado-Related Words

To help you come up with your own avocado puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

avocado, seed, pip, pit, green, ripe, guac, guacamole, fat, hass, fruit, tree, smash/smashed, toast, pear, alligator pear, shake, berry, choquette, gwen, lula, maluma, pinkerton, reed, brogden, bacon, ettinger, fuerte, monroe, sharwil, zutano, spinks, dickinson, kist, queen, rey, royal, sharpless, taft

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Cheese Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cheese puns! 🧀 🐭

Cheese is an internationally loved food that can be enjoyed on its own, as a base for recipes or simply as a topping or flavouring. Although it’s celebrated for its tasty qualities, we should be aware that there are many dairy-free replacements we can (and should) use instead so as to not support the dairy industry. If you’re concerned about your calcium intake, don’t be – there are many vegan sources of calcium available.

In this list, we’ve tried to cover cheese ingredients, types of cheese, and popular cheese dishes, so we hope to have you covered no matter what you’re after. Wow your tinder date, ruin family games night and win that pun thread with our cheesy cheese puns list!

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, pizza puns, food puns, milk puns and taco puns.

Cheese Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cheese that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of cheese puns:

  • She’s → Cheese: As in, “By george, I think cheese got it!” and “Cheese all that” and “Maybe cheese born with it (Maybelline slogan)” and “Cheese the best.”
  • Seize → Cheese: As in, “Cheese them!” and “Cheese the day.”
  • Bees → Cheese: As in, “The birds and the cheese” and “Mind your own cheesewax.”
  • Geez → Cheese: “Oh cheese, I’m so sorry” and “Cheese Louise!”
  • Be → Brie: As in, “Brie my guest” and “Brie mine” and “Not all it’s cracked up to brie” and “Brie done with it” and “I’ll brie around” and “Brie that as it may” and “Brie yourself” and “Brie still my beating heart.” Note: here’s a vegan brie and a vegan brie recipe.)
  • We gotta → Ricotta: As in, “Ricotta get going!” Note: here’s a quick vegan ricotta recipe, and a vegan ricotta that you can buy readymade.
  • Ease → Cheese: As in, “Cheese up a little” and “Ill at cheese” and “If it will set your mind at cheese.”
  • Easy → Cheesy: As in, “Cheesy as ABC” and “Cheesy as pie” and “Cheesy access” and “Cheesy come, cheesy go” and “Cheesy does it” and “Cheesy money” and “Cheesy on the eyes” and “Cheesy street” and “Cheesy peasy” and “Take it cheesy.”
  • Eas* → Cheese*: cheesygoing (easygoing), cheesel (easel), Cheeseter (Easter), cheesily (easily), Cheesetern (Eastern) and cheesier (easier).
  • Cheers → Cheese: As in, “Cheese to the married couple!” and “Three cheese for…”
  • Please → Cheese: As in, “Cheesed as punch” and “However you cheese” and “One moment, cheese” and “Cheese be seated.”
  • Trees → Cheese: As in, “Can’t see the wood for the cheese” and “Charm the birds out of the cheese” and “Money doesn’t grow on cheese.”
  • Threes → Cheese: As in, “Good things come in cheese.”
  • Seas → Cheese: As in, “On the high cheese.”
  • Chase → Cheese: As in, “Cheese-ing your own tail” and “Cut to the cheese (this is similar to the phrase “cut the cheese“, meaning to pass gas)” and “The thrill of the cheese” and “A wild goose cheese” and “Cheese-ing after” and “Give cheese.”
  • Purchase → Purcheese: As in, “Free gift with purcheese” and “An impulse purcheese” and “Unecessary purcheeses.”
  • Choose → Cheese: As in, “A woman’s right to cheese” and “Pick and cheese” and “Cheese your weapon” and “Your mission, if you cheese to accept it” and “You can cheese your friends but not your family.”
  • Ches* → Cheese*: If a word starts with “ches”, we can edit it to be “cheese” instead: “That old cheese-tnut” and “Cheeseshire cat grin.”
  • *chis* → *cheese*: We can sneak “cheese” into words that have a “cheez” or “chize” sound: “Cheeseled (chiseled) jaw” and “Own your own francheese” and “The disenfrancheesed masses.” Note: if one is disenfranchised, then they do not have the right to vote.
  • Chose* → Cheese*: As in, “You’re the one I cheese” and “The cheesen one” and “Many are called, but few are cheesen.”
  • *gis* → *cheese*: As in, “Get the cheese’t (gist) of it” and “Recheeseter (register) to vote” and “Locheesetics (logistics) manager” and “New lecheeselation (legislation)” and “Marriage recheesetry (registry)” and “Biased macheesetrate.”
  • *jes* → *cheese*: As in, “Cheese-us Christ” and “Cheese-us wept” and “What would Cheese-us do?” and “Your macheesety (majesty)” and “Macheesetic (majestic) views.”
  • Permission → Parmesan: As in, “Better to ask forgiveness than parmesan” and “Signed parmesan slip” and “Ask parmesan for” and “Parmesan based marketing.”
  • Emojis → Emocheese
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.”
  • Better → Cheddar: As in, “I’ve got a cheddar idea” and “Appeal to your cheddar judgement” and “My cheddar half” and “Cheddar late than never!” and “Cheddar luck next time” and “Cheddar safe than sorry” and “Cheddar than new” and “Change for the cheddar.”
  • Shed → Cheddar: As in, “Cheddar light on the matter” and “Cheddar a tear.”
  • Chatterbox → Cheddarbox (Note: here’s a vegan cheddar recipe – there are many others a quick google away.)
  • Bee → Brie: As in, “Busy as a brie” and “Brie in your bonnet” and “Birds and the bries” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a brie” and “Make a brieline for” and “Like a brie to a honeypot” and “Flight of the bumblebrie” and “The brie’s knees
  • Beautiful → Brie-utiful: As in, “All things bright and brie-utiful” and “Black is brie-utiful” and “The start of a brie-utiful friendship.”
  • Breeze → Brie’ze: As in, “Life’s a brie‘ze” and “Shoot the brie‘ze.” Note: to shoot the breeze is to talk idly.
  • Disagree → Disabrie: As in, “Agree to disabrie” and “Disabrie with” and “Having a disabriement.”
  • R&B → R&Brie: (Note: r&b stands for “rhythm and blues” and is a genre of music.)
  • Pea → Brie: As in, “Like two bries in a pod” and “Easy as shelling bries” and “Mashed potatoes and bries.”
  • *bra* → *brie*: Swap out “brah” sounds for “brie”: algebrie (algebra), vertebrie (vertebra), candelabrie (candelabra), briece (brace), embriece (embrace), libriery (library), vibrient (vibrant), brieve (brave), brien (brain), abriesive (abrasive) and brienchild (brainchild).
  • *bre* → *brie: As in, “Give me a briek” and “A different bried of human” and “Security briech” and “Take a deep brieth” and “Mental briekdown” and “Briethe deeply” and “Technological briekthrough” and “Watch your abbrieviations.”
  • *bri* → *brie*: As in, “Briedge over troubled waters” and “Here comes the briede” and “Briedal march” and “Brieghtens my day” and “Brieng your own” and “Brieght and early” and “Brielliant shine” and “Briesk morning walk” and “Peanut briettle” and “Marking rubriec” and “Dust and debries” and “Hybried car.”
  • Diabetes → Diabrietes
  • *bi* → *brie*: “A phobrie-a of heights” and “Wasabrie flavoured” and “An arbrietrary decision” and “I forbried you!” and “Financial liabrielity.” Other words that could work: dubrieous (dubious), abrielity (ability), accountabrielity (accountability), capabrielity (capability), sustainabrielity (sustainability), vulnerabrielity (vulnerability) and availabrielity (availability).
  • *pre* → *brie*: “pre” and “brie” sound quite similar, so it’s easy to swap the two sounds: “All briesent (present) and accounted for” and “What’s the briemise (premise) of the movie?” and “Briejudice (prejudice) is never okay” and “Play brietend (pretend) and make-believe (or brielieve!)” and “A brietentious (pretentious) establishment.” Other words that could work: briesceint (prescient), briedicate (predicate), briemium (briemium), abbrieciate (appreciate) and combriehensive (comprehensive).
  • *pri* → *brie*: As in, “Briede and Prejudice” and “Corrupt brienciples (principles)” and “Briencipal players” and “Check your brievilege” and “Brieme time television” and “Name your briece.” Other words that could work: brient (print), approbrieate (appropriate), combriese (comprise), cabriecious (capricious) and enterbriese (enterprise).
  • I can’t remember → I camembert (here’s a recipe for dairy-free camembert)
  • Illuminati → Hallouminati: (here’s a recipe for dairy-free halloumi)
  • Wish → Swiss: As in, “Be careful what you swiss for” and “Be the change you swiss to see” and “Swiss you were here” and “When you swiss upon a star” and “Swissful thinking” and “Swiss me luck.” Note: here’s a dairy-free swiss cheese recipe, and a readymade vegan swiss that you can buy.
  • *sis* → *swiss*: As in, “Soul swisster” and “Swisstine chapel” and “Calls for further analyswiss” and “My hypotheswiss states” and “Arch nemeswiss” and “On the baswiss of” and “Theswiss due in two weeks.” Other words you could use: criswiss (crisis), synopswiss (synopsis), antitheswiss (antithesis), conswisstent (consistent) and narcisswisst (narcissist).
  • Better → Feta: As in, “I’ve got a feta idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do feta” and “Appeal to your feta judgement” and “Feta by design” and “My feta half” and “Feta late than never” and “Feta luck next time” and “Feta safe than sorry” and “Feta than sex” and “Feta than new” and “Change for the feta.” Note: here’s a plant-based feta recipe, and a readymade dairyfree feta you can buy.
  • Fed → Feta: As in, “Feta up to the back teeth” and “Well feta.”
  • Federal → Fetarel
  • Fat → Feta: As in, “A feta lot of good that did” and “Baby feta” and “Big feta grin” and “Feta chance” and “Not over till the feta lady sings.”
  • Fitter → Feta: As in, “A leaner, feta you.”
  • Fettucine → Fetacine
  • *fat* → *feta*: As in, “Chronic fetague” and “That fetaful (fateful) night” and “An indefetagable (indefatigable) army” and “Feta‘l attraction” and “Fetality! (read in game announcer voice)” and “Long-term infeta-uation (infatuation).” Note: if someone is indefatigable, then they’re relentless and untiring.
  • *fet* → *feta*: As in, “Latex fetash” and “Fetad (fetid) surroundings.” Note: if something is fetid, then it smells bad.
  • *fit → *feta: As in, “For your benefeta” and “Stylish new outfeta” and “Turn over a profeta” and “Nonprofeta organisation.”
  • *phet* → *feta*: profeta (prophet), profeta-ic (prophetic) and amfetamine (amphetamine).
  • *fed* → *feta*: fetaora (fedora), fetaration (federation) and confetarate (confederate).
  • Blue: Blue cheese is a general type of cheese that has mold added into it, and is popular among cheese enthusiasts. We’ve added some blue-related puns here that could be used as cheese puns in the right context (and here is a recipe for blue cheese):
    • Blow → Blue: As in, “Any way the wind blues” and “Blue a fuse” and “Blue a kiss.”
    • Blew → Blue: “That really blue me away.”
    • Boo → Blue: As in, “Blue hoo” and “Wouldn’t say blue to a ghost.”
  • Gotta → Gouda: As in, “Gouda catch ’em all” and “I gouda go!” and “You gouda ask yourself” and “Gouda look out for number one.”
  • Good → Gouda: As in, “I’ve a gouda mind to” and “A gouda time was had by all” and “Does you gouda” and “A world of gouda” and “All gouda things must come to an end” and “All in gouda time” and “As gouda as gold” and “As gouda as it gets” and “Gouda as new” and “Gouda as your word” and “As gouda luck would have it” and “Be a gouda sport” and “Deliver the goudas” and “Do a gouda turn” and “Do not go gentle into that gouda night” and “Do you want the gouda news or the bad news?” and “Fight the gouda fight” and “For goudaness sake.”
  • Could/Could’a → Gouda: As in, “As fast as their legs gouda carry them” and “Gouda’nt care less” and “Gouda do it in my sleep” and “You gouda helped out” and “If looks gouda kill.” Note: here are a few vegan gouda options.
  • Have → Havarti: As in, “As good luck would havarti it” and “Couldn’t havarti said it better” and “You don’t havarti a clue” and “Havarti I got news for you” and “Havarti a bite to eat.” Note: here’s a dairy-free havarti option.
  • Rind: Many cheeses are encased in a protective wax rind, so we’ve included rind-related puns and phrases here:
    • Grind → Rind: As in, “Got an axe to rind” and “Bump and rind” and “The daily rind” and “Don’t let the bastards rind you down” and “Rind to a halt” and “Rinding your teeth.”
    • Rend → Rind: As in, “Heart rinding” and “Rinder useless.”
    • Round → Rind: As in, “All year rind” and “They’ll come rind.”
    • Mind → Rind: “Change your rind” and “I’ve a good rind to…” and “A healthy rind in a healthy body” and “A load off your rind” and “A rind is a terrible thing to waste” and “Always on my rind” and “Absent rinded” and “Bear in rind” and “This will blow your rind!” and “Before you make up your rind, open it.”
    • Find → Rind: As in, “Rind it in your heart” and “Rind your footing” and “Rinders keepers” and “Rinding Nemo” and “Seek, and ye shall rind” and “Love will rind a way.”
    • Wind → Rind: “Rind someone up” and “Time to unrind.”
    • Wined and dined → Rind and dined
    • *rend* → *rind*: As in, “Secret rindezvous” and “A stirring rindition of” and “Surrinder your weapons!” Other words that could work: serindipity (serendipity), referindum (referendum) and serindipitous (serendipitous). Note: serendipity is a type of happy accident.
  • Paneer: Paneer is a soft Indian cheese. Here are related puns (and here’s a vegan paneer recipe):
    • Pan* → Paneer*: As in, “Flash in the paneer” and “Down the paneer” and “Flat as a paneer-cake” and “Wait for it to paneer out.”
    • Spanner → S’paneer: As in, “Throw a s’paneer in the works.”
    • Veneer → Paneer: “A shiny paneer” and “Dental paneers.” Note: a veneer is a thin, decorative covering.
    • Ear → Paneer: As in, “All paneers” and “Cute as a bug’s paneer” and “Bend your paneer” and “Smiling from paneer to paneer” and “A paneer for music.”
    • Company → Companeer: As in, “Known by the companeer you keep” and “Enjoy your companeer” and “In good companeer” and “Keep companeer with” and “Misery loves companeer” and “Present companeer excepted” and “Two’s companeer, three’s a crowd.”
  • Grey → Gruyere: As in, “Fifty Shades of Gruyere” and “A gruyere area” and “Gruyere is the new black” and “Gruyere matter.” Note: here’s a vegan gruyere recipe for you to try.
  • Alone → Provalone: As in, “Leave well enough provalone” and “Let provalone” and “You’ll never walk provalone” and “Time provalone will tell.”
  • A damn → Edam: As in, “Why should I give edam?” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t give edam.” Note: here’s a vegan edam that you can try.
  • Adam → Edam: As in, “Edam’s apple” and “I wouldn’t know them from Edam.”
  • Need him → N’edam: As in, “I don’t n’edam – not a guy like that.”
  • Freedom → Fr’edam: As in, “A symbol of fr’edam” and “Fr’edam fighter” and “Fr’edam of the press” and “Last taste of fr’edam.”
  • Case of → Queso: “In queso emergency…” Note: queso is a type of melted cheese, usually used as a dipping sauce.
  • ‘Kay, so → Queso: “Queso, what’s next?” and “Queso, shall we get started?”
  • Piece of → Pizza: As in “You want a pizza me?” and “That’s a pizza cake.” and “They all want a pizza the action.” and “That’s a fine pizza ass.” and “That’s a pizza piss.” and “He’s a nasty pizza work.” and “How long is a pizza string?” and “I’ll give him a pizza my mind!” and “You’re a real pizza work.” and “Pizza the pie” and “Abbreviated pizza nothing”
  • Piece of my heart → Pizza my hut
  • Peace of mind → Pizza mind
  • Pete’s sake → Pizzake: As in “For pizzake! Will you two get a room?”
  • Beats are → Pizza: As in “I love your music! These pizza so good.”
  • Beats a → Pizza: As in “It pizza poke in the eye with a sharp stick.” and “It pizza slow and painful death.”
  • Beats around → Pizza-round: As in “He pizza-round the bush and never gets anything accomplished.”
  • Not yours → Nachos: As in, “That’s nachos to take” and “Don’t touch! They’re nachos.”
  • Not just → Nachos: As in “She’s nachos a pretty face.” and “I’m nachos another one of your minions.”
  • Not yourself → Nachoself: As in “Are you feeling all right? You’re nachoself today.”
  • Not yo* → Nacho*: As in “It’s nachogurt, it’s sour cream.” and “It’s nachoga, it’s Pilates.”
  • Macho → Nacho: As in “Nacho man.”
  • Grilled: Since grilled cheese (as in a grilled cheese sandwich) is a very popular meal/snack, we’ve included some related phrases and puns here:
    • Thrilled → Grilled: As in, “Grilled to bits!” and “We’re grilled to have you here.”
    • Bill → Grill: As in, “These are my grillable hours” and “A clean grill of health.”
    • Filled → Grilled: As in, “Grilled with happiness” and “Cream-grilled” and “A smoke-grilled room.”
    • Girl → Grill: As in, “A grill’s best friend” and “The grill next door” and “Grills just wanna have fun” and “Boys and grills.”
    • Gorilla → Grilla: As in “The silverback grilla is native to this area.”
    • Guerrilla → Grilla: As in “The inhabitants used grilla warfare to drive out the enemy.”
  • Fondue: As fondue is a very popular cheese dish (one where cheese is mixed with other ingredients and used as a savoury dip), we’ve included fondue-related puns (here’s a list of cheesy fondue recipes for you to try):
    • Fond of → Fondue: “I’m quite fondue you.”
    • Fonder → Fondue: “Absence makes the heart grow fondue.”
    • Fun, do → Fondue: “I’m having fondue you think we can come again?”
  • Cream: Cream is related to cheese as both a quality (the creaminess of cheese) and as a type (cream cheese spread), so we’ve got some cream-related puns to double as cheese puns (and here are a couple of vegan cream cheese recipes!):
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
  • Shredded: Cheese tends to come in either whole blocks or wheels, or shredded in bags. These puns are for the shredded cheese fans:
    • Headed → Shredded: As in, “Which way are you shredded?”
    • Shed → Shred: As in, “Shred light on the matter” and “Shred a tear” and “Shredding your old skin.”
    • Thread → Shred: As in, “Hanging by a shred.”
  • Melt: Cheese is known for its creamy, melty qualities, so we’ve got some melt-related puns here for you too:
    • Melt: These phrases are general enough to double as puns in the right context: “In the melting pot” and “Melt into tears” and “Melting my heart.”
    • *met* → *melt*: As in, “Mixed meltaphor” and “Heavy meltal.” Other words that could work: melticulous (meticulous), meltrics (metrics), paramelter (parameter) and geomeltry (geometry).
  • Hole: These puns are in reference to the holes (or “eyes”) in swiss cheese:
    • Whole → Hole: As in, “A hole different ballgame” and “Go the hole way” and “Can’t believe I ate the hole thing” and “Let’s just call the hole thing off” and “On the hole” and “The hole is greater than the sum of its parts” and “A hole lotta love” and “The hole nine yards.”
    • Hell → Hole: As in, “All hole broke loose” and “Bat out of hole” and “Burn in hole!” and “Hole on Earth.”
    • *hal* → *hole*: Holeoween (Halloween), marshole (marshal), werewithole (werewithal), lethole (lethal) and patriarchole (patriarchal).
    • Hilarious → Hole-arious
    • *hol* → *hole*: As in, “Happy Hole-idays” and “A hole-istic vision” and “Hole’d my phone” and “A hole-ow (hollow) answer” and “Cup hole-der” and “Beauty is in the eye of the behole-der” and “Blood alcohole limit” and “Methole flavoured.” Other words that could work: Warhole (an in Andy Warhol), threshole‘d, melancholey and psychole-logy.
    • Holy → Holey: As in, “Holey moses” and “Holey cow batman!”
  • Mile → Mild: As in, “A thousand milds” and “Go the extra mild” and “Could see you a mild away.” Note: mild is a more common descriptor for a certain (more gentle) type of aroma and flavour of cheese.
  • Spice → Slice: As in, “Eleven secret herbs and slices” and “Slice things up” and “Sugar and slice and all things nice” and “Variety is the slice of life.”
  • Slice: These slice-related phrases are general enough to use as cheese puns: “Any way you slice it” and “A slice of life” and “Slice of the action” and “No matter how you slice it.”
  • Reap → Ripe: As in, “Ripe the rewards” and “Grim riper” and “Ripe what you sow.”
  • *rap* → *ripe*: ripeacious (rapacious), ripeture (rapture), ripetor (raptor).
  • *rep* → *ripe*: ripe-public (republic), ripeproach (reproach), riperesent (represent), ripeply (reply), riperemind (reprimand), entripepreneur (entrepreneur), discripepancy (discrepancy) and intripepid (intrepid).
  • Great → Grate: As in, “A grate day for..” and “All creatures, grate and small” and “Go to grate lengths” and “Grate expectations” and “Grate minds think alike” and “The grate outdoors” and “Having a grate time, wish you were here” and “Set grate store by” and “With grate power comes grate responsibility.”
  • Gate → Grate: As in, “Golden Grate bridge” and “Right out the grate” and “Open the floodgrates.”
  • Get → Grate: As in, “As good as it grates” and “Buy one, grate one free” and “Can’t grate you out of my head” and “Come and grate it” and “Don’t grate me started” and “Grate a grip” and “Grate a kick out of it” and “Grate back on your feet.”
  • *gat* → *grate*: mitigrate (mitigate), aggregrate (aggregate), propagrate (propagate), prerograte-ive (prerogative), delegrate, obligrate-ion (obligation), surrograte. Notes: a prerogative is a right or privilege.
  • *grat* → *grate*: As in, “Filled with grate-itude” and “Grate-uitous violence” and “Instant grate-ification” and “Seamless integrate-ion.” Other words you could use: congrate-ulations, integrate-d, conflagrate-ion (conflagration).
  • *gret* → *grate*: “I regrate to inform you” and “Regrateably, we write to tell you…” and “Topped with vinaigrate.”
  • Integrity → Integratey
  • Mould/Mold: Mold (or mould, depending where you are in the world) is what makes blue cheese blue, and so is a part of the cheese-loving community. Here are some moldy old puns for you to play with:
    • Gold → Mold: As in, “A pot of mold” and “After the mold rush” and “As good as mold” and “All that glitters is not mold” and “Fool’s mold” and “Go for mold” and “Mold digger” and “Molden years” and “A molden opportunity” and “A heart of mold” and “Silence is molden” and “Worth your weight in mold.”
    • Mild → Mold: As in, “Mold-mannered” and “To put it moldly…”
    • *mod* → *mold*: As in, “Moldest living quarters” and “Moldern architecture” and “Politically molderate” and “The newest moldel” and “Accommoldate your requests.” Other words that could work: moldify (modify) and commoldity (commodity).
    • Old → Mold: As in, “Tale as mold as time” and “Tough as mold boots” and “For mold time’s sake.”
  • Curd: Curds are the parts of milk that coagulates when treated with enzymes to make it sour, and are what cheese is essentially composed of. Here are some terrible curd puns here:
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Curb → Curd: As in, “Curd your enthusiasm” and “Kicked to the curd.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
    • Cared → Curd: “I knew you really curd.”
    • Cured → Curd: “What can’t be curd must be endured.”
    • *cad* → *curd*: As in, “Acurdemic career” and “All girl’s acurdemy” and “A decurdent spread” and “Throughout the decurds (decades)” and “Avocurdo toast.” Other words that could work: curdaver (cadaver) and curdet (cadet).
    • *cod* → *curd*: Encurd (encode) and curdify (codify).
    • *cud* → *curd*: As in, “Loving curddles” and “Curddly as a puppy” and “Oooh, barracurda (from the song “Barracuda”).
    • *card* → *curd*: curdinal (cardinal), curdboard (cardboard), curdigan (cardigan), curdio (cardio), curdiac (cardiac) and discurd (discard).
    • *cord* → *curd*: As in, “Raspberry curdial” and “You are curdially invited to our wine and cheese tasting” and “Curduroy pants” and “For the recurd” and “Of your own accurd” and “Let’s chat on discurd.” Other words you could use: accurdingly (accordingly), concurdance (concordance) and accurdance (accordance). Note: Discord is a free chat software.
  • Baby → Babybel: As in, “And babybel makes three” and “Helpless as a babybel” and “Babybel, please don’t go.” Note: Babybel is a popular Australian brand of snack cheeses.
  • String: String cheese is a popular snack (usually used in children’s lunchboxes). Here are some related puns:
    • Bring → String: As in, “String it on” and “String something to light” and “String the house down” and “String to the table” and “String up to date” and “Stringing up the rear” and “Making things that string people closer together.”
    • Ring → String: As in, “Alarm bells begin to string” and “A dead stringer” and “Doesn’t string a bell” and “Don’t string us, we’ll string you” and “String of fire.”
    • Sting → String: As in, “Float like a butterfly, string like a bee.”
    • *sting → *string: As in, “Real estate listring” and “Interestring times” and “Castring call” and “Testring, testring” and “Don’t be disgustring” and “Everlastring love” and “Awarded points for existring” and “Nestring instincts” and “A lastring disagreement” and “Can’t distringuish between the two.”
    • Swing → String: As in, “Come out stringing” and “Get into the string of it” and “In full string” and “String both ways” and “Take a string at” and “The king of string” and “String and a miss.”
    • String: These string-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Second string” and “No strings attached” and “Stringing along.”
  • Sauce: Cheese sauce is another common way to enjoy cheese, so we’ve got some saucy puns to double as cheese puns in the right context (and here are some vegan cheese sauce recipes):
    • Source → Sauce: “Check your sauces” and “Crowdsauce” and “Go straight to the sauce” and “I refuse to reveal my sauces” and “Renewable resauces” and “Open sauce” and “Sauce material.”
    • *sas* → *sauce*: sauce-shimi (sashimi), Arkansauce (Arkansas), Kansauce (Kansas), disauceter (disaster), assaucein (assasin) and disaucetrous (disastrous).
    • *sis* → *sauce*: As in, “Further analysauce required” and “My hypothesauce states” and “Arch nemesauce” and “On the basauce (basis) of” and “Consaucetent (consistent – this one’s a bit of a stretch) with my findings.” Other words that could work: thesauce (thesis), crisauce (crisis) and synopsauce (synopsis).
    • Isoceles → Isauceles: (note: isoceles means equal sides.)
    • *sus* → *sauce*: saucetain (sustain), saucetainable (sustainable), sauceceptible (susceptible), saucepicious (suspicious), saucepend (suspend), saucetainability (sustainability), saucepense (suspense), saucepension (suspension), saucetenance (sustenance), consensauce (consensus), versauce (versus) and censauce (census).
  • Whey: Whey is the liquid that’s left after milk has been curdled and strained in the cheese-making process. We’re getting a bit technical here, but we’ve included whey-related puns and phrases in this list too!
    • Way → Whey: As in, “A funny thing happened on the whey there…” and “All the whey” and “That’s the whey it is” and “Any whey the wind blows” and “Any which whey” and “Born this whey” and “By the whey” and “By whey of explanation” and “Change your wheys” and “Laughing all the whey to the bank” and “Doing it the hard whey” and “Don’t know which whey to look” and “Every step of the whey.”
    • Weigh/t → Whey/t: As in, “Whey anchor” and “Whey-ed in the balance” and “Throw your wheyt around” and “Whey in” and “Wheyt of the world” and “Worth its wheyt in gold.”
    • Waste → Wheyste: As in, “Don’t wheyste your breath” and “Haste makes wheyste” and “Lay wheyste to” and “Toxic wheyste” and “Wheysting away” and “Wheyste not, want no” and “Wheyste of space.”
    • *way → *whey: As in, “Awhey with you” and “Awhey with the fairies” and “A dead giveawhey” and “Explain awhey” and “Get carried awhey” and “Takeawhey food” and “Any takeawheys?” and “Plans underwhey and “Do things halfwhey” and “Gatewhey drug” and “It needed it anywhey.”
    • *wai* → *whey*: As in, “An accident wheyting to happen” and “Lie in wheyt” and “Reading and wheyting” and “The wheyt is over” and “Wheyve (waive) your fees” and “Signed wheyver (waiver)” and “Wheyling with grief” and “Thin as a wheyf.” Other words that could work: wheyst (waist), wheyter (waiter) and awheyt (await).
    • Wave → Wheyve: As in, “A life on the ocean wheyves” and “Catch a wheyve” and “Smile and wheyve, boys. Smile and wheyve” and “Heave wheyve” and “Making wheyves” and “On the same wheyvelength.”
    • Whale → Wheyle: As in, “A wheyle of a time” and “Save the wheyles.”
    • Well → Wheyll: As in, “Alive and wheyll” and “All’s wheyll that ends wheyll” and “As wheyll as can be expected” and “Get wheyll soon” and “Just as wheyll” and “You know full wheyll” and “Leave wheyll enough alone” and “Living wheyll is the best revenge” and “Might as wheyll” and “That’s all wheyll and good” and “Wheyll I never!” and “Wheyll fed” and “Wheyll, actually…”
    • We’ll → Whey’ll: As in, “Don’t call us, whey’ll call you” and “Whey’ll never do it that way.”
  • Humbly → Crumbly: “We crumbly request that you remove your shoes.” Note: since crumbly is a common cheese descriptor/quality, we’ve added it here.
  • Testing → Tasting: As in, “Tasting, tasting, one two three.” and “The next phase of tasting involves…”
  • Wasting → Tasting: As in, “Tasting your time” and “Tasting away.”
  • Homage → Fromage: “Paying fromage to…” Note: fromage is French for cheese.
  • Make → Milk: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but can still work! Since cheese is made of milk, we’ve included a milk pun in here too (and here are some dairy-free milks you can try, along with why you should try going dairy-free): “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Raclette: This is both a type of cheese and a type of cheese dish, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Regret → Raclette: As in, “My one raclette in life” and “No raclettes.”
    • Racket → Raclette: As in, “Making an awful raclette” and “Money-making raclette.”
  • Carefully → Caerphilly: As in, “Pick your battles caerphilly” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a caerphilly thought out bad decision” and “Move slowly and caerphilly.” Note: Caerphilly is a type of crumbly cheese.
  • Cow: We’ve got a few cow-related puns in here since cheese is commonly made from cow’s milk (for other cow-related puns, see our cow pun list):
    • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
    • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
    • Chow → Cow: “Cow down.”
    • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This wasn’t a cowincidence.”
    • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Goat: Goat’s cheese is another popular type of cheese, so here are a couple of goat-related puns (for more, see our goat pun list):
    • Get → Goat: As in “Couldn’t goat a word in edgewise” and “Better goat moving” and “You’d better goat used to it” and “I can’t goat enough” and “Come and goat it!” and “Just trying to goat by” and “Don’t goat me wrong” and “Don’t goat me started” and “From the goat-go (get-go)” and “Goating mixed signals” and “Goat my foot in the door” and “Goat your knickers in a twist.”
    • Got → Goat: As in “You have goat to be kidding me” and “I haven’t goat all day” and “Cat goat your tongue?” and “Goat it in one!” and “Goat me stumped” and “Goat to get moving” and “Goat to run” and “(Someone) has goat game” and “Something’s goat to give” and “The one that goat away” and “You goat it!” and “You’ve goat another thing coming” and “You’ve goat me there” and “You’ve goat to do what you’ve goat to do.” Note: here’s a recipe for dairy-free goat cheese you can try.
  • Wine: As wine and cheese are a popular pairing, we’ve included a couple of wine puns in here:
    • Whine → Wine
    • Wane → Wine: “On the wine.”
    • Wonder → Wine-der: As in, “Works wine-ders” and “Gutless wine-der” and “It’s a wine-derful life” and “No small wine-der” and “Wine-ders never cease.”
  • Run it → Rennet: “Did you rennet by them for approval?” Note: rennet is used in the cheese-making industry to curdle milk (which will then form curds to be pressed into cheese). Rennet is a set of enzymes which helps young mammals digest their mother’s mik. We obtain rennet from the stomachs of unweaned calves, which is just one more reason to look at vegan cheese options rather than dairy.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in dairy products.

These next few puns are based around the base ingredients for vegan cheese varieties:

  • Cashew: Cashew is a very popular base for cheese alternatives as it’s very mild, creamy, and goes well with heaps of other ingredients (here are a couple of cashew cheese recipes to try out):
    • Catch you → Cashew: As in, “Careful, you don’t want them to cashew!” and “I’ll cashew later” and “They’ll cashew out” and “I’m gonna cashew!”
    • Cash you → Cashew: As in, “I’ll cashew in.”
    • Shoes → Cashews: As in, “Goody two cashews” and “Kick off your cashews.”
    • Achoo → Cashew (this one is a bit of a stretch, yes, but can work with enough dedication and acting prowess)
  • Soy: The classic old soy cheese, while slightly less exciting than cashew cheese, is still very popular among vegan cheese fans, so we’ve included it here:
    • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
    • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
    • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”

To finish off, here are some celebrity names changed around to be dangerously cheesy:

  • Paris Hilton → Paris Stilton
  • Beyonce → Brieonce
  • Fetty Wap → Fetta Wap
  • Kim Kardashian → Kim Curdashian
  • Jane Fonda → Jane Fondue
  • Kate Moss → Kate Mozzarella

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits. And finally, here’s a great list of delicious vegan cheese recipes that you can enjoy 🙂

Cheese-Related Words

To help you come up with your own cheese puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

cheese, dairy, cheddar, mozzarella, camembert, haloumi, brie, swiss, feta, ricotta, gouda, bocconcini, gruyere, provolone, pecorino, parmesan, havarti, gorgonzola, edam, stilton, cottage, mascarpone, babybel, paneer, queso, nacho, grilled, fondue, cream, string, sauce, shredded, sliced, slice, holes, eyes, cow, goat, sheep, milk, melt, platter, wine, creamy, mild, sharp, hard, soft, aged, crumbly, ripe, blue, tasting, curdle, pasteurised, butterfat, rind, rennet, curds, whey, casein, fat, mold, bacteria, annatto, calcium, mac n cheese, cheese puffs, fromage, buffalo, raclette, limburger, roquefort, caerphilly, cashew, soy, pizza, cheeseboard, grate, grater

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Egg Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on egg puns! 🥚🐣🐔

Eggs are a wildly popular food, with the US alone producing over 105 billion eggs in 2017. They’re celebrated for their cultural and religious significance (as a symbol for birth and new beginnings, especially during Easter) and are loved for their culinary versatility, appearing not only in savory dishes but also sweets like cakes and custard.

Unfortunately, the egg industry is nothing to be celebrated, as it’s an industry based on a system of abuse, neglect and murder. Luckily, we don’t have to support this as there are many substitutes that we can use instead of eggs – if you’re after protein, there are plenty of vegan sources of protein. If you’re wanting to bake, there are vegan egg replacements too. If you want chocolate eggs for Easter, you’re covered there too. Along with there being an abundance of choice on the internet, you’re guaranteed to find something at your local grocery store.

Whether you came here looking for a silly joke for a pun thread or a clever Instagram hashtag, we hope you enjoy this list and leave with the right pun for your needs (and a better understanding of the egg industry).

Egg Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about eggs that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of egg puns:

  • Joke → Yolk: As in, “Inside yolk” and “Yolk’s on you” and “Yolking around.”
  • Oak → Yolk: As in, “A heart of yolk” and “Solid as a yolk” and “Little strokes fell great yolks” and “Mighty yolks from little acorns grow.”
  • Folk → Yolk: As in, “Different strokes for different yolks” and “Show’s over, yolks” and “That’s all, yolks” and “All just yolktales.”
  • I’m lettin’ → Omlettin’: As in, “Omlettin‘ them go” and “Omlettin‘ you have it.” Note: here are some recipes for vegan omelettes.
  • Shell: The following puns are about the shell of the egg, which can be valued for their high calcium content (there are some other foods high in calcium that you can eat instead):
    • Celebration→ Shellebration: As in “After finishing we should have a shellebration.”
    • Shall→ Shell: As in “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He who lives by the sword shell die by the sword.”
    • Sell → Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”
    • Hell → Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”
  • *eg* → *egg*: We can sneak the word “egg” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “Get a legg on” and “Neggative results” and “Had you pegged as…” and “I begg to differ” and “Where do I beggin?” Other words that could work: leggacy, eggocentric, nutmegg, bootlegg, dregg and integgrity.
  • *ig* → *egg*: We can swap “ig” sounds for “egg” sounds, as in, “Keep on degging (digging)” and “Eggnorance is not bliss” and “You can’t eggnore it forever” and “Choosing to remain eggnorant” and “Eggnite your passion.”
  • *ecc* → *egg*: “A real eggcentric” and “Impeggable (impeccable) taste.”
  • *ex* → *eggs*: As in, “A compleggs situation” and “Indeggsed (indexed) files” and “Better than seggs (sex)” and “Don’t fleggs your muscles here” and “Pure refleggs (reflex)” and “From eggsperience” and “Taken out of conteggst (context)” and “Eggspress post” and “In eggschange.” Other words you could use: eggsploit (exploit), eggstract (extract), eggsercise (exercise), eggsistential (existential), eggserpt (except), eggsample (example), eggsacerbate (exacerbate), eggsamine (examine), eggsact (exact), eggsasperate (exasperate), eggsclusive (exclusive), eggsited (excited), eggsellent (excellent), eggsess (excess), eggsempt (exempt), eggsemplify (exemplify), eggsecution (execution), eggsfoliate (exfoliate), eggshibit (exhibit), eggshaust (exhaust), eggsausted (exhausted), eggsibition (exhibition), eggsilarating (exhilarating), eggshale (exhale), eggsist (exist), eggsit (exit), eggsotic (exotic), eggsorbitant (exorbitant), eggspect (expect), eggsquisite (exquisite), eggstension (extension), eggstrapolate (extrapolate), eggstensive (extensive), eggstraordinary (extraordinary), eggsuberant (exuberant) and eggsude (exude).
  • *ec* → *egg*: As in, “New teggnology” and “Change the subjeggt” and “Be objeggtive” and “High seggurity” and “An effeggtive technique” and “Solar egglipse.” Other words you could use: seggular (secular), feggless (feckless), egglectic (eclectic), eggonomy (economy), eggo (echo), eggology (ecology) and eggstatic (ecstatic).
  • *ac* → *egg*: As in, “Taken into eggount” and “Take eggtion” and “In on the eggt (act)” and “Looking for eggommodation.” Other words you could use: eggnowledge (acknowledge), eggrue (accrue) and eggronym (acronym)
  • *ag* → *egg*: As in, “In the begg (bag)” and “Capture the flegg” and “Tegging along” and “Stop dregging your feet” and “Reggs to riches” and “Snegg (snag) a great deal.” Other words you could use: preggmatic (pragmatic), propeggate (propagate), eggregate (aggregate), eggainst (against), eggnostic (agnostic), egghast (aghast), eggree (agree) and eggreement (agreement).
  • Egg: We’ll finish this section off with some egg-related phrases that are general enough to use as puns: “As sure as eggs is eggs” and “A bad egg” and “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and “Nest egg” and “Walking on eggshells” and “Can’t make a cake without breaking some eggs.”
  • Fly → Fry: As in, “Come fry with me” and “Born to fry” and “Frying by the seat of your pants” and “Fry off the handle” and “Off to a frying start” and “Pass with frying colours” and “Go fry a kite” and “Don’t give a frying f*ck” and “Pigs might fry” and “The only way to fry.”
  • Free* → Fry*: As in, “Symbol of frydom” and “Fry as a bird” and “Born fry” and “Breathe fryly” and “Buy one, get one fry” and “Calorie fry” and “Footloose and fancy fry” and “Fry for all” and “Fry enterprise” and “Fry range” and “The best things in life are fry.”
  • Cry → Fry: As in, “A fry for help” and “A shoulder to fry on” and “Fry foul” and “Fry your heart out” and “For frying out loud” and “Don’t fry over spilt milk.”
  • *fra* → *fry*: As in, “Freeze fryme” and “Picture fryme” and “Frymed for the murder of…” and “Please refryne from…”
  • *fre* → *fry*: As in, “Radio fryquency” and “Frydom of the press” and “Like a fryt (freight) train.”
  • Fight → Fryt: As in, “A straight fryt” and “Come out fryting” and “Fryt for the right to party” and “Fryt back” and “Fryting back tears” and “Fryt fire with fire” and “Fryting like cats and dogs” and “Fryt or flight” and “Fryt the good fryt” and “Fryt tooth and nail” and “A fryting chance” and “Fryting fit” and “Freedom fryter” and “Go down fryting” and “Live to fryt another day” and “Picking fryts” and “Pillow fryt” and “Spoiling for a fryt.”
  • Fright → Fryt: As in, “Frytened of your own shadow” and “Frytful mess” and “Take fryt” and “Fryten to death.”
  • Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish (selfish).
  • *sel → *shell: Words ending in “sel” can often be punned upon with “shell”: vesshell (vessel), tasshell (tassel), weashell (weasel), musshell (mussel), etc.
  • *sel* → *shell*: Words containing “sel” can yeild nice puns on “shell”: Hershellf, himshellf, themshellves, itshellf, myshellf, yourshelf, yourshelves, convershelly, counshelling, preshellected, overshelling, undershelling, ushellessely, weashelling.
  • *cial → *shell: When a word has “cial” as a suffix, this suffix can usually be swapped out for “shell” to create a shell pun: soshell (social), speshell (special), offishell (official), finanshell, commershell, crushell, judishell, artifishell, provinshell, rashell, benefishell, superfishell, fashell, glashell, sacrifishel, antisoshell.
  • *yak* → *yolk*: As in, “Teriyolki tofu” and “A member of the yolkuza.” Note: the yakuza is an organised crime gang based in Japan.
  • Yukata → Yolkata: (note: a yukata is a type of light kimono.)
  • Hatch: These hatch-related phrases can double as egg puns: “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched” and “Down the hatch” and “Hatch a cunning plan.”
  • Hitch → Hatch: As in, “Get hatched” and “Hatch your wagon to a star” and “Went off without a hatch.”
  • Late → Laid: As in, “Better laid than never” and “Catch you laider” and “Fashionably laid” and “Read any good books laidly?” and “Never too laid” and “It’s laider than you think” and “A laid bloomer” and “Laid in the day” and “Sooner rather than laider” and “Too little too laid.”
  • *lad* → *laid*: As in, “Laidy and the Tramp” and “Laidy Luck” and “Laiden with goods” and “Laidling out soup” and “Little laidybug” and “All the single laidies.” Other words that could work: salaid (salad), blaide (blade), accolaide (accolade) and malaidy. Note: a malady is an illness.
  • *knowledge* → *knowlaidge*: As in, “Seeking knowlaidge” and “Acknowlaidge your presence” and “Knowlaidgeable on the topic of” and “Give my acknowlaidgement to.”
  • *lid* → *laid*: As in, “Solaid as a rock” and “Valaid argument” and “Squalaid surroundings.” Other words that could work: invalaid (invalid), holaiday (holiday), consolaidate (consolidate), valaidate (validate) and solaidarity (solidarity).
  • *lat* → *laid*: “Game emulaidor” and “Collaideral damage” and “Plaidform shoes” and “Well-articulaided.” Other words that could work: laideral (lateral), laident (latent), laiditude (latitude), laidency (latency), articulaid (articulate) and conflaid (conflate). Note: to conflate is to bring things together, or to mix them.
  • *lit* → *laid*: These are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work. As in, “In the laiderature” and “I laiderally just said that” and “A laidany (litany) of items” and “The laideral meaning.” Other words: laidigation (litigation), facilaidy (facility), qualaidy (quality), humilaidy (humility), liabilaidy (liability), polaidics (politics), realaidy (reality) and accountabilaidy (accountability).
  • Afriad → Afried: As in, “Afried of your own shadow” and “Afried so” and “Be afried” and “Too afried to ask.”
  • Cried → Fried: As in, “Fried my eyes out.”
  • Pride → Fried: As in, “Bursting with fried” and “Hurt fried” and “Fried and prejudice” and “Fried and joy” and “Swallow your fried” and “Take fried in.”
  • Fired → Fried: As in, “All fried up and ready to go” and “You’re fried!”
  • *fly → *fry: Butterfry (butterfly) and dragonfry (dragonfly).
  • Free → Free range: As in, “As free range as a bird” and “Born free range” and “Buy one, get one free range” and “Free range and easy” and “Free range for all” and “Free range spirit” and “Live free range or die” and “Nothing is ever free range.” Note: unfortunately, “free range” doesn’t mean what most egg consumers think it does. Free range is essentially as harmful to chicken welfare as caged/battery (and all forms of chicken farming will still start with chick culling).
  • Cage: These next few puns are dedicated to the idea of cage eggs, which is a system that provides an extremely unethical and torturous way for hens to live:
    • Age → Cage: As in, “Cage before beauty” and “Cage of consent” and “An awkward cage” and “Come of cage” and “A golden cage” and “In this day and cage” and “Mental cage” and “The cage of reason” and “Through the cages” and “One for the cages.”
    • *age* → *cage*: As in, “Double-cagent” and “Modelling cagency” and “What’s your cagenda?” and “The gay cagenda” and “Cageing gracefully” and “Increase your levercage (leverage)” and “Encage combat!”
    • Decay → Decage: As in, “Tooth decage” and “Falling into decage.”
    • Gauge → Cage: As in, “Fuel cage” and “Trying to cage your reaction.”
  • Flattery → Battery: Related to cage eggs are battery cages, which refers specifically to the housing system that’s used for producing animal byproducts (so it includes but isn’t limited to eggs): “Battery will get you nowhere” and “Imitation is the sincerest form of battery.”
  • Check → Chick: As in, “Chick it out!” and “Chick your sources” and “Double chick” and “Keep in chick” and “Reality chick” and “Take a rainchick” and “Chick up on.”
  • Click → Chick: As in, “Chick bait” and “Chick into place” and “Chick your fingers” and “Double chick” and “We really chicked” and “Point and chick.”
  • Pick → Chick: As in, “A bone to chick” and “Cherry chick” and “Easy chickings” and “Nit chicking” and “Chick a fight” and “Chick a card, any card” and “Chick of the bunch” and “Chick holes in” and “Chick up the pieces” and “Chick up the tab” and “Chick your brains” and “Chick your battles.”
  • Quick → Chick: As in, “Chick as a flash” and “Cut to the chick” and “Fancy a chickie?” and “Get rich chick” and “In chick succession” and “Kiss me chick” and “Chick and dirty” and “Chick off the mark” and “Chick smart” and “A chick study” and “Chick witted” and “Chicker than the eye” and “Lightning chick.”
  • Chuck → Chick: As in, “Chick a sickie,” and “Get chicked out,” and “Chick overboard.”
  • Trick → Chick: As in, “Bag of chicks,” and “Every chick in the book,” and “How’s chicks?” and “Never misses a chick,” and “One chick pony,” and “A chick of the light,” and “Chick or treat!” and “Chicks of the trade,” and “Up to your old chicks.”
  • Thick → Chick: As in, “As chick as thieves,” and “Blood is chicker than water,” and “In the chick of things,” and “The plot chickens,” and “Chick and fast,” and “Through chick and thin,” and “Lay it on chick.”
  • White: The following puns refer to egg whites, which are valued for their low fat content and high protein (here are some other sources of protein):
    • Wide → White: As in, “Open white!” and “The world white web” and “White-eyed” and “Give them a white berth” and “Blow it white open” and “Cast a white net” and “White awake.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “The white to choose” and “All the white moves” and “Animal whites” and “White as rain” and “Bragging whites” and “Civil whites” and “Dead to whites” and “Do alwhite for yourself” and “Fight for your whites” and “Get off on the white foot” and “Hold it white there!” and “Human whites” and “In the white place at the white time” and “Serves you white” and “Moving white along” and “White up your alley” and “White back at you.”
    • What → White: As in, “Do white comes naturally” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “It is white it is” and “It’s not white it looks like” and “No matter white” and “So white?” and “White a piece of work” and “White are friends for?” and “White does that have to do with anything?”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “Whiter’s block.”
    • Wait → White: As in, “A accident white-ing to happen” and “Good things to those who white” and “Lie in white” and “Ready and white-ing” and “White a minute” and “The white is over” and “Time whites for no-one” and “White in line” and “I can’t white” and “White and see” and “White-ing for the other shoe to drop” and “A white-ing game.”
    • Rite → White: As in, “Perform the last whites” and “White of passage.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white around” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “A dead white” and “Give white to” and “Hit above your white” and “The white of the world.”
    • *what* → *white*: somewhite (somewhat), whitesoever (whatsoever), whitenot (whatnot) and whitever (whatever).
  • Crack: The following puns refer to the act of cracking an egg in order to cook it (here are some great egg substitutes you can use in your cooking).
    • *cac* → *crack*: As in, “A crackophony of noise” and “Crackao flavoured.” Other words that could work: cracktus (cactus) and crackle (cackle). Note: a cacophony is a jumbled, chaotic mess of sound.
    • Cricket → Cracket
    • Croc* → Crack*: As in, “Crackodile tears” and “Delicate crackery” and “Potted crackus (crocus)” and “Simmering in the crackpot.” Note: a crocus is a type of flower.
    • Krak* → Crack*: Cracken (kraken) and crackatoa (krakatoa). Note: krakatoa is a volcanic island.
  • Approach → Appoach: As in, “The wrong appoach” and “Appoach the subject” and “A balanced appoach.”
  • Coach → Poach: As in, “Life poach” and “Head poach.”
  • Shamble → Scramble: As in, “A complete scramble” and “In total scrambles.”
  • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble” and “Scrambling addiction.”
  • Ramble → Scramble: As in, “Scrambling on and on” and “They’re funny, but tend to scramble.”
  • Scramble: “They scrambled to their feet.”
  • Then → Hen: As in, “All that and hen some” and “Now and hen” and “And hen there was one” and “That was hen, this is now” and “Right hen and there” and “But hen again…”
  • *hen*: Words than contain “hen” can be silly chicken/hen puns: Apprehend, appre-hen-sion, comprehend, comprehension, comprehensive, hence, henceforth, repre-hen-sible, stonehenge.
  • Comedian → Comedi-hen: As in, “You’re a real comedi-hen” and “Everyone’s a comedi-hen round here.”
  • *han* → *hen*: As in, “Give me your hend (hand),” and “Do you have a hendle (handle) on it?” and “You look so hendsome tonight,” and “Your hendwriting has improved,” and “Their kids are a real hendful,” and “She was raised as an orphen,” and “The elephent in the room,” and “Please enhence the image,” and “I’ve had an epipheny!” and “This is your last chence,” and “Change the chennel.”
  • *hin* → *hen*: As in, “You’re hendering (hindering) me,” and “Doorhenge,” and “Give me a hent (hint),” and “In hendsight (hinsight),” and “You’re a hendrance (hindrance),” and “Change comes from withen,” and “Looking a bit then (thin),” and “Take it on the chen (chin),” and “Got kicked in the shens (shins),” and “Contrary to what you may think, dolphens are mammals,” and “A rush of endorphens,” and “A street urchen.” Note: to hinder is to block someone’s progress or to make something difficult to complete.
  • *hon* → *hen*: As in, “Brutally henest (honest),” and “An henourable mention,” and “Hello, heney (honey).”
  • *hun* → *hen*: As in, “A wild hench (hunch),” and “The henter (hunter) becomes the hented (hunted),” and “One hendred,” and “I’m hengry,” and “That’s not what I henger (hunger) for.”
  • Hen: These hen-related phrases can be used as egg puns: “Don’t let the fox guard the hen-house” and “As scarce as hen’s teeth” and “A mother hen” and “Hen-pecked” and “Hen’s night/party”. Note: to be henpecked is to be bullied or intimidated by a woman.
  • Enough → Un oeuf (pronounced like “enough”): Un oeuf is French for “one egg”, so we’ve included it here as a terribly cheesy pun: “Because life’s complicated un oeuf” and “Close un oeuf” and “Un oeuf is un oeuf” and “Fair un oeuf” and “Hot un oeuf for you?” and “Can’t thank you un oeuf.”
  • Risk → Whisk: This refers to whisking eggs: “A calculated whisk” and “Whisk averse” and “Whisk life and limb” and “Whisk management” and “Whisky business” and “You run the whisk of” and “Whisking your neck.”
  • Wisconsin → Whiskonsin
  • Beat: These next few puns will refer to beating (mixing) eggs, which is commonly required for baking.
    • Bead → Beat: As in, “Beats of sweat.”
    • Beet → Beat: As in, “Red as a beatroot.”
    • *bat* → *beat*: As in, “Combeat boots” and “Mental acrobeatics” and “Dead beattery.” Other words that could work: numbeat (numbat), wombeat (wombat), exacerbeat (exacerbate), abeat (abate), debeat (debate) and verbeatim (verbatim). Note: to exacerbate something is to make it worse, and if something is verbatim, then it’s word for word.
    • *bet* → *beat*: As in, “For beatter or worse” and “You’d beatter” and “Stuck in beatween” and “Beatray someone’s confidence” and “In beata testing” and “For the beatterment of society” and “A cutting beatrayal.” Other words you could use: beatrothed (betrothed), alphabeat (alphabet), sherbeat (sherbet) and diabeates (diabetes).
    • *bit* → *beat*: As in, “Beattersweet feelings” and “Beatter chocolate” and “Take a gambeat.” Other words that could work: beatumen (bitumen), inhibeat (inhibit), exhibeat (exhibit), rabbeat (rabbit), habeat (habit), orbeat (orbit), inhabeat (inhabit), prohibeat (prohibit), arbeatrary (arbitrary) and beatch (b*tch). Note: if something is arbitrary, then it’s not based on objective logic.
    • *bed* → *beat*: These ones are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work: beatdazzled (bedazzled), beatdraggled (bedraggled), beatroom (bedroom), obeatient (obedient), obeatience (obedience), forbeat (forbid), morbeat (morbid) and libeato (libido).
    • *beet* → *beat*: Beatle (beetle), Beathoven (Beethoven) and beatroot (beetroot).
  • Easy → Over easy: “over easy” is a style of cooking eggs. As in, “As over easy as abc” and “As over easy as pie” and “Over easy access” and “Over easy come, over easy go” and “Over easy does it” and “Over easy on the eyes” and “Over easy pickings” and “Over easy street” and “Free and over easy” and “Take the over easy way out” and “Well that was over easy” and “Too over easy.”
  • Boil: These next few puns are a reference to boiled eggs.
    • Ball → Boil: As in, “Boilpark figure” and “A brand new boilgame” and “Bust your boils” and “Curve boil” and “A different boil game” and Drop the boil” and “Get the boil rolling” and “Have a boil” and “Keep your eye on the boil” and “Playing hardboil” and “A snowboil’s chance in hell” and “The boil is in your court” and “Up to your eyeboils in…”
    • Pale → Boil: As in, “Boils in comparison to” and “A boil imitation of…”
    • I’ll → Boil: As in, “Boil eat my hat” and “Boil be damned!”
    • Boy’ll (boy will) → Boil: As in, “That boil go far” and “That boil learn his lesson soon enough.”
    • *bal* → *boil*: As in, “Off-boilance” and “A delicate boilance” and “Secret boillot” and “Globoil sustainability” and “Nonverboil communication” and “Herboil tea.” Other words that could work: boilloon (balloon), boillistic (ballistic), triboil (tribal), canniboil (cannibal), verboil (verbal) and imboilance (imbalance).
    • Bel* → Boil*: boilieve (believe), boilief (belief) and boiloved (beloved).
    • *bil* → *boil*: As in, “Take responsiboility” and “Rehaboilitation centre” and “Environmental sustainaboility.” Other words you could use: liaboility (liability), accountaboility (accountability), aboility (ability) and capaboility (capability).
    • *bol* → *boil*: boilster (bolster), boilt (bolt), boild (bold), symboil (symbol), gamboil (gambol), hyperboile (hyperbole), aboilish (abolish) and metaboilism (metabolism).
    • *bul* → *boil*: boilshit (bullshit), Istanboil (Istanbul), neboilous (nebulous) and faboilous (fabulous). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s cloudy or vague.
    • *pal* → *boil*: As in, “A princiboil player” and “Palpaboil (palpable) tension” and “A boiltry sum.” Note: if something is palpable, then it’s tangible.
    • *pol* → *boil*: As in, “Store boilicy” and “Identity boilitics” and “Boilice brutality” and “Scrub and boilish (polish).” Other words that could work: extraboilate (extrapolate), anthroboilogy (anthropology) and aboilogise (apologise).
  • Scratch → Scotch: Scotch eggs are another popular egg dish (which also has vegan recipes), so we’ve got a couple of related puns here: “I scotch your back, you scotch mine” and “Scotch the surface” and “Start from scotch” and “Up to scotch” and “Scotching your head” and “A real head-scotcher” and “Scotch an itch.”
  • Foul → Fowl: As in “By fair means or fowl” and “Cry fowl” and “Fowl language” and “Fowl up” and “No harm, no fowl” and “A fowl-mouthed person” and “Fowl play”
  • Fell → Fowl: As in “In one fowl swoop” and “Little strokes fowl great oaks” and “The bottom fowl out of the market” and “She fowl asleep at the wheel” and “He fowl under her spell” and “It fowl into my lap” and “She fowl victim to the scammer”. Note: If something is done in one fell swoop, then it was done quickly and in one single action.
  • Fall → Fowl: As in, “A fowling out,” and “Easy as fowling off a log,” and “Bread always fowls butter side down,” and “Can’t help fowling in love,” and “Catch a fowling star,” and “Fowl about laughing,” and “Fowl between the cracks,” and “Fowl from grace,” and “Fowl into bad habits,” and “A fowlen angel,” and “Oh how the mighty have fowlen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fowl,” and “United we stand, divided we fowl.”
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • *fal* → *fowl*: As in, fowllacy (fallacy), fowlter (falter), fowlse (false), fowllout (fallout), buffowlo (buffalo), crestfowllen (crestfallen), defowlt (default), downfowl (downfall), fowlsetto (falsetto), fowlt (fault), fowlsify (falsify), freefowl (freefall), nightfowl (nightfall), waterfowl (waterfall).
  • Paltry → Poultry: The term “paltry” means “small, insignificant or worthless” and the term “poultry” refers to domesticated chickens (and ducks, geese and other fowl). As in, “A poultry amount of work.”
  • Poetry → Poultry: As in, “Poultry in motion,” and “Spoken word poultry.” Note: spoken word poetry is performative poetry that tends to involve themes of social justice.
  • Poltergeist → Poultrygeist: As in, “Peeves the poultrygeist.” Note: Peeves is a famous poltergeist from the Harry Potter series.
  • Next → Nest: As in “Nest minute …” and “Better luck nest time” and “Boy/girl nest door” and “Nest generation” and “Nest in line to the throne” and “Nest to nothing” and “Take it to the nest level” and “Nest to nothing” and “The nest big thing.” and “Cleanliness is next to godliness” and “In nest to no time” and “Nest to nothing” and “One day chicken and the nest day feathers” and “Catch the nest wave” and “As ___ as the nest girl/guy”. Note: “One day chicken and the next day feathers” is a phrase indicating that things we consider valuable can be lost in no time at all (like a job, marriage, or a house etc).
  • Messed → Nest: As in, “You done nest up.”
  • *net* → *nest*: As in, “The nestwork is down” and “Social nestworking” and “The five tenests of” and “Internest connection” and “Captain Planest.” Other words you could use: cabinest (cabinet), bonnest (bonnet), sonnest (sonnet) and magnest (magnet). Note: a sonnet is a type of poem. A tenet is a guiding principle.
  • *nast* → *nest*: As in, “Cheap and nesty” and “A nesty piece of work.” Other words you could use: dynesty (dynasty), nestiness (nastiness), gymnest (gymnast) and monestery (monastery). Notes: a monastery is housing for monks and nuns. A dynasty is a line of rulers from the same family.
  • *nest*: You can emphasise the “nest” in these words: earnest, honest, dishonest, soonest, anesthesia and amnesty. Note: amnesty is a pardon, usually for a political offence.
  • *nist* → *nest*: As in, “The protagonest of the story” and “A misogynest comment” and “A powerful antagonest” and “A hedonestic lifestyle.” Other words you could use: feminest (feminist), chauvinest (chauvinist), communest (communist), adminestration (administration), adminester (administer), minester (minister) and anachronestic (anachronistic). Note: if something is anachronistic, then it doesn’t fit in with the time period.
  • *nost* → *nest*: As in, “Filled with nestalgia” and “A nestalgic smell” and “An assault on the nestrils” and “Agnestic worldview” and “Diagnestic outcome.”
  • Quiche: Quiches are a popular egg dish (which you can easily make an eggless version of) so we’ve included some quiche puns here:
    • Key → Quiche: As in, “A golden quiche can open any door” and “Fear is the quiche” and “The quiche to your heart” and “Quiche-hole surgery” and “Throw away the quiche” and “A low-quiche party” and “Off quiche” and “The quiche to the kingdom” and “Under lock and quiche” and “In a minor quiche” and “A quiche figure of” and “The quiche to success.”
    • Keep → Quiche: As in, “Known by the company you quiche” and “Don’t quiche us in suspense” and “Finders quiche-ers” and “Quiche your head” and “Quiche a lid on it” and “Quiche a straight face” and “Quiche an ear out.”
    • *kaysh* → *quiche*: If a word has a “kaysh” sound, we can replace it with “quiche”: aquiche-ia (acacia), alloquicheion (allocation), alterquiche-ion (altercation), amplifiquiche-ion (amplification), authentiquiche-ion (authentication), certifiquiche-ion (certification), clarifiquiche-ion (clarification), classifiquiche-ion (classification), communiquiche-ion (communication), compliquiche-ion (complication), dediquiche-ion (dedication), dupliquiche-ion (duplication), eduquiche-ion (education), electrifiquiche-ion (electrification), mediquiche-ion (medication) and justifiquiche-ion (justification).
    • *key* → *quiche*: As in, “Barrel of monquiche (monkeys)” and “Quit cold turquiche (turkey)” and “Bottle of whisquiche (whiskey).” Other words that could work: hoquiche (hockey), malarquiche (malarkey), donquiche (donkey), quicheboard (keyboard) and quichenote (keynote).
  • Farm: Since eggs are generally from farms, we’ve included some farm-related puns in here for you:
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Round and farm” and “Farm up” and “Feet farmly planted” and “Terra farma.”
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul” and “Out of farm’s way” and “Wouldn’t farm a fly.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “In good farm” and “Attack is the best farm of defence” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “Sarcasm is the lowest farm of wit” and “In any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm” and “Evil takes many farms.”
    • Arm → Farm: As in, “Farm candy” and “Farmed and dangerous” and “Farmed struggle” and “Farmed intervention” and “Farmed to the hilt” and “As long as your farm” and “At farm’s length” and “The right to bear farms” and “A call to farms” and “Brothers in farms” and “Cost a farm and a leg” and “Give your right farm for” and “Up in farms” and “With open farms.”
    • Arm* → Farm*: As in, Farmageddon (armageddon), farmy (army), farmistice (armistice), farmour (armour). Note: an armistice is a formal agreement to stop fighting.
    • Am* → Farm*: As in, “That’s farmazing!” and “Farmateur work” and “Farmbiguous answers” and “Farmbitious projects.” Other words that could work: farmbivalent (ambivalent), Farmerican, farmendment (amendment), farmicable (amicable), farmidst (amidst), farmonnia (ammonia), farmmunition (ammunition), farmnesia (amnesia), farmong (among) and farmongst (amongst).
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “My farmily tree” and “A farmiliar place” and “Farm and fortune” and “Almost farmous” and “Wartime farmine” and “Farmiliarise yourself with your new home.” Other words that could work: farmished (famished), Oxfarm (Oxfam), infarmy (infamy) and infarmous (infamous).
    • Fem* → Farm*: As in, “The future is farmale” and “Farminism is not a dirty word” and “Feeling farminine.”
    • Fum* → Farm*: As in, “Farmbling around” and “Farming (fuming) mad” and “Farmigate the house.”
    • Ferment → Farment: (Note: this also works for other forms of the word, like farmentation (fermentation) and farmented (fermented)).
    • *firm* → *farm*: As in, “Can you please confarm your reservation?” and “Elderly and infarm” and “Motivational affarmations” and “Answer in the affarmative” and “Give confarmation.” Other words that could work: infarmary (infirmary), affarm (affirm) and farmware (firmware).
    • *form* → *farm*: As in, “A farmidable opponent” and “New, improved farmula” and “Which farmat should I save it in?” and “Farmal dresscode” and “Farmulate a plan.” Other words you could use: farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), platfarm (platform), infarm (inform), confarm (conform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), refarm (reform), landfarm (landform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • *phem* → *farm*: blasfarmy (blasphemy), eufarmism (euphemism) and blasfarmous (blasphemous).
    • Sophomore → Sofarmore
    • Pharm* → Farm*: farmacy (pharmacy), farmaceutical (pharmaceutical) and farmacist (pharmacist).
  • Clutch: In this context, a clutch is a brood of chickens or a group of eggs. Make cheesy references to them with these puns:
    • Crutch → Clutch: As in, “On clutches” and “Using alcohol as a clutch.”
    • Glitch → Clutch: As in, “A clutch in the system.”
    • Clutch: Clutch has two meanings: to hold onto something tightly, and a group of eggs. We can make some egg puns using this: “A drowning person will clutch at a straw,” and “Pearl-clutcher.” Note: a pearl-clutcher is someone who is overly prudish.
    • Ovum: Ovums are egg cells (yes, we’re getting very technical here) so we’ve got some ovum-related puns for you to play with:
      • Over → Ovum: As in, “All ovum again” and “Bowled ovum” and “A bridge ovum troubled water” and “Brimming ovum with confidence” and “Come on ovum” and “Didn’t lose any sleep ovum it.”
      • Drove him → Dr’ovum: As in, “They dr’ovum to sleeplessness.”
  • Duck: Duck eggs are another type of egg commonly eaten by humans, so we’ve included them in this list too:
    • Dock → Duck: As in, “Charging duck” and “Waiting in the duck.”
    • Dark → Duck: As in, “After duck” and “Duck as pitch” and “Dancing in the duck” and “Duck before the dawn” and “Duck horse” and “Duck humour” and “Deep duck secret” and “Every duck cloud has a silver lining” and “In the duck” and “A duck and stormy night” and “Kept in the duck” and “A shot in the duck” and “My duckest hour.”
    • Tuck → Duck: As in, “Nip and duck” and “Duck in.”
    • Deck → Duck: As in, “All hands on duck” and “Clear the ducks” and “Deal from the bottom of the duck” and “Duck of cards” and “All ducked out” and “Hit the duck” and “Not playing with a full duck.”
    • Truck → Duck: As in, “By the duckload” and “Have no duck with” and “Fell off the back of a duck” and “Keep on duckin‘.”
    • Dec* → Duck*: As in, “A steady duckline (decline)” and “A duckadent meal” and “Falling into duckay.”
    • *dic* → *duck*: As in, “Look it up in the ducktionary” and “As the new laws ducktate (dictate)” and “A real ducktator” and “Orthopaeduck shoes” and “Call a meduck (medic)” and “Nomaduck lifestyle” and “The perioduck table.” Other words that could work: duckotomy (dichotomy – a separation of something into two), ducktum (dictum – an authoritative statement), sporaduck (sporadic – happening rarely and randomly), aciduck (acidic), episoduck (episodic), meduckal (medical), raduckal (radical), preduckament (predicament), induckate (indicate), vinduckate (vindicate) and deduckate (dedicate).
    • Doc* → Duck*: As in, “I need a ducktor!” and “Legal ducktrine (doctrine)” and “Official duckuments” and “Keep the ducket” and “A new vegan duckumentary” and “All in the duckumentation.”
    • *duc* → *duck*: As in, “Code of conduckt” and “New and improved produckt.”
    • Dakota → Duckota: (note: Dakota is the name of a few different towns and cities in the United States)
    • *tech* → *duck*: As in, “Cutting-edge ducknology” and “Masterful ducknique” and “Ducknical information” and “Ducknically, yes.”
  • Goose: Since goose eggs are another popular food, we included some goose-related puns and phrases here that could double as egg puns in a pinch:
    • Goes → Goose: As in, “The Academy award goose to…” and “Anything goose” and “As far as it goose” and “As the saying goose” and “As time goose by” and “Here goose nothing!” and “How goose it?” and “Goose without saying” and “Life goose on” and “No good deed goose unpunished” and “Steady as she goose” and “What goose up must come down” and “Who goose there?” and “My heart goose out to…”
    • Guess → Goose: As in, “It’s anybody’s goose” and “Goose what?” and “Gooseing games” and “Have a goose” and “Just lucky, I goose” and “Your goose is as good as mine” and “Second-gooseing yourself” and “You’ll never goose.”
    • *gas* → *goose*: As in, gooselight (gaslight), gooseoline (gasoline), flabbergooseted (flabbergasted), orgoose-sm (orgasm) and smorgoosebord (smorgasbord).
    • *gos* → *goose*: As in, “A relentless gooseip” and “Gooseamer wings” and “The goosepel truth.”
    • *gus* → *goose*: gooseto (gusto), gooset (gusset), gooset (gust), fungoose (fungus), bogoose (bogus), oesophagoose (oesophagus), asparagoose (asparagus), Augooset (August), disgooset (disgust) and disgooseting (disgusting).
  • Birth: Since eggs are literally to do with birth and are used to symbolise birth and re-birth in cultural celebrations, we’ve included some birth-related puns here too:
    • Berth → Birth: As in, “Give them a wide birth.” Note: berth in this context means room or space to move.
    • Earth → Birth: As in, “Journey to the centre of the birth” and “Brought down to birth” and “Cost the birth” and “Down to birth” and “Birth mother” and “Birthly delights” and “Birthly paradise” and “From the ends of the birth” and “Hell on birth” and “A scorched birth policy.”
    • Perth → Birth: (Note: Perth is the capital of Western Australia.)
    • Bath* → Birth*: Birthroom (bathroom), birthtub (bathtub), birthers (bathers), sabbirth (sabbath) and bloodbirth (bloodbath).
    • *beth* → *birth*: Birthlehem (Bethlehem) and Elizabirth (Elizabeth).
    • Bother* → Birther*: As in, “It’s not a birther” and “How birthersome” and “Hot and birthered” and “Stop birthering me.”
  • Roe: We aren’t just looking at chicken’s eggs in this list! Roe is popularly eaten as a delicacy, and since they’re fish eggs we’ve included them in this list.
    • Row → Roe: As in, “Front roe seats.”
    • Rue → Roe: As in, “You’ll roe the day!”
    • Throw → Roe: As in, “Roe away the key” and “A stone’s roe away” and “Roe another log on the dire” and “Roe a fit” and “Roe caution to the winds” and “Roe cold water on” and “Roe it back in their face” and “Roe the towel in” and “Roe up” and “Roe your weight around” and “Roe your hat into the ring” and “Roe a bone to.”
    • Toe → Roe: As in, “Dip your roe in the water” and “From top to roe” and “Head to roe” and “Make their roes curl” and “Roe the line” and “Twinkle roes.”
    • Rose → Roe-s: As in, “Come up smelling of roe-ses” and “Bed of roe-ses” and “Every roe-s has its thorn” and “Roe-s tinted glasses” and “Stop and smell the roe-ses.”
    • Rhe* → Roe*: roetoric (rhetoric), roetorical (rhetorical) and roematism (rheumatism).
    • Rho* → Roe*: roembus (rhombus) and roedodendron (rhododendron). Note: a rhododendron is a type of flower.
    • *roa* → *roe*: As in, “Hit the roed” and “On the roed” and “Middle of the roed” and “Roest me” and “Hear me roer (roar)” and “Approech carefully” and “A proe-active worker.” Other words that could work: reproech (reproach), broech (broach), throet (throat).
    • Rou* → Roe*: As in, “All year roe‘nd” and “Going roe‘nd in circles” and “Gather roe‘nd” and “Makes the world go roe‘nd” and “Rally roe‘nd” and “A roe‘ndabout way” and “Just a roe‘tine check” and “A roe‘gh adventure.”
    • *raw → *roe: As in, “It’s a droe” and “Withdroe from the race” and “The final stroe” and “A roe deal” and “Back to the droe-ing board” and “Droe the line” and “The luck of the droe.”
    • *rew* → *roe*: As in, “Little to no roeward” and “Needs a roewrite” and “A roewarding position” and “Scroe it” and “Skeleton croe” and “Written in Hebroe.”
    • *row* → *roe*: As in, “As if there’s no tomorroe” and “Here today, gone tomorroe” and “Drowning in sorroe” and “A narroe escape” and “Groe-ing up.” Other words that could work: roedy (rowdy), throe (throw), croe (crow), burroe (burrow) and proe-ess (prowess).
    • Re* → Roe*: As in, “For future roeference” and “Not a roelevant point” and “Requires further roesearch” and “Steely roesolve” and “Made roedundant” and “Graphic roendering.”
    • *ro* → *roe*: As in, “Going proe” and “Acting like a heroe” and “Build yourself up from zeroe” and “Microe loans” and “Throe the ball!” Other words you could use: Camaroe (a Camaro is a type of car), maestroe, euroe, syndroeme (syndrome), troepe (trope), troell (troll), roell (roll), stroeke (stroke), oxymoroen (oxymoron), thoroegh (thorough) and stroell (stroll).
    • *rus* → *roes*: thesauroes (thesaurus), proedent (prudent) and accroe (accrue).
  • Easter: Since some people might be after eggs of the chocolatey Easter variety, we’ve included Easter puns in here too:
    • Easter: As in, “Easter Island,” and “Easter parade,” and “The Easter bunny.”
    • East/Eastern → Easter: As in, “Easter of Eden,” and “Full of Easter promise.”
    • *east → *easter: As in, “At the very l-easter,” and “A f-easter for the eyes,” and “F-easter or famine,” and “The king of b-easters,” and “Last but not l-easter,” and “Nutritional y-easter is a good cheese substitute.”
  • Ail → Quail: Since quail eggs are eaten as well (more commonly in Asian countries), we’ve got them in this list too: “What quails you?”

The following puns are specific to characters and celebrity names:

  • Yoko Ono → Yolko Ono
  • Edward Scissorhands → Eggward Scissorhands
  • Ed Sheeran → Egg Sheeran
  • Benedict Cumberbatch → Eggs Benedict Cumberbatch
  • Liam Hemsworth → Liam Hensworth
  • Michelle Obama → Mi-shell Obama
  • Megan Fox → Meggan Fox
  • Charles Dickens → Charles Chickens

Note: if you’d like further information about the egg industry or avoiding eggs in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Egg-Related Words

To help you come up with your own egg puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: egg, shell, yolk, white, crack, fry, fried, boil, poach, scrambled, hard-boiled, omelette, devilled, pickled, scotch, benedict, florentine, beat, sunny, over easy, hatch, laid, free range, cage, hen, battery, chicken, duck, goose, easter, rotten, whisk, frittata, quiche, farm, fowl, nest, zygote, embryo, fertilised, ovum, incubate, clutch, birth, roe, caviar, carton, cholesterol, fat, salmonella, quail, faberge

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