Milk Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on milk puns! 🥛🌱

Milk is loved both as a drink on its own, and as an addition to (or a base for) other drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and milkshakes. It’s also popular as a condiment of sorts, with many dipping chocolates or cookies (or biscuits, depending where you are in the world) in their milk.

Unfortunately, the industry that produces milk is not so wholesome – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of dairy-free milk options (sometimes called “mylk”) that we can enjoy instead.

Apart from the taste, a lot of people are convinced of the health benefits of milk, the main one being calcium. Not only does a glass of milk have less calcium than we might initially think (less than a bowl of spinach or kale), but our ability to digest and actually benefit from the calcium in milk is debatable. There are plenty of other foods that we can derive our daily calcium from.

Whether you’re here for a witty instagram caption, a quick one-liner for your tinder date or facebook argument, we hope that you find the milk pun that you need.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, cheese puns, ice cream puns and coffee puns, and have chocolate and cereal puns coming soon too!

Milk Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about milk that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of milk puns:

  • Utter → Udder: As in, “Udderly inconsiderate.”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Milk: These milk-related phrases are general enough to work as puns: “Mild as milk” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk” and “Land of milk and honey” and “Milk dry” and “Milk it for all it’s worth” and “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
  • Note: all of these milk puns could also work for “mylk”, which is the term for non-dairy milks (or mylks!)
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This was no cowincidence.”
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntry,  cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Mikayla → Milkayla
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.” Note: pasteurization is a sterilisation process.
  • Lack those → Lactose: As in, “I can’t drink milk as I lactose enzymes required to digest it.” Note: lactose is a sugar found in milk, which many people aren’t able to digest or tolerate.
  • Litre: In some countries, milk is sold in litres/liters, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Later → Litre: As in, “Buy now, pay litre” and “Catch you litre” and “It’s litre than you think” and “Sooner or litre” and “Can we continue this litre?”
    • Letter → Litre: As in, “Four litre word” and “Chain litre” and “Litre perfect” and “Litre to the editor” and “To the litre” and “I’ll send you a litre.”
    • Lighter → Litre: As in, “The litre way to enjoy chocolate” and “Feeling litre than air” and “Litre than a feather” and “Feeling litre than before.”
    • *liter* → *litre*: As in, “Yes, I meant that litreally” and “It’s all in the litreature” and “Don’t have to be so litreal about it” and “Litreacy rates across America.” Other words you could use: litreate (literate), oblitreate (obliterate) and illitreate (illiterate).
    • Collateral → Collitre-al: As in, “Collitre-al damage.”
    • *lete → *litre: As in, “You’ve made a complitre mess of it” and “That product is obsolitre” and “Deplitred (depleted) funds” and “Delitre the files” and “Built like an athlitre.” Other words that could work: replitre (replete), incomplitre (incomplete) and complitrely (completely).
  • Lait: “Lait” is French for milk, and is a common word in the coffee-drinking community (as in, “cafe au lait”). Here are a few silly puns that involve the word “lait”:
    • Late → Lait: Lait is actually pronounced without the “t” at the end, so this isn’t a perfect pun but it can still work quite well: “Better lait than never” and “Buy now, pay laiter” and “Fashionably lait” and “A day lait and a dollar short” and “It’s never too lait” and “A lait bloomer” and “Lait in the day/game” and “Running lait.”
    • Lay → Lait: As in, “Couldn’t lait a finger on” and “Lait a trap” and “Lait down roots” and “Lait eyes on” and “Lait down your arms.”
    • *lay* → *lait*: As in, “Let’s plait!” and “Could you relait the situation?” and “On full displait” and “Unforseen delaits (delays)” and “An ornate jade inlait” and “It’s okay to hate the plaiter (player) AND the game.” Other words: waylait (waylay) and slait (slay).
    • *ly → *lait: As in, “A familait (family) matter” and “A full assemblait (assembly)” and “Yes, probablait.” Other words that could work: arguablait (arguably), inevitablait (inevitably), presumablait (presumably), notablait (notably), possiblait (possibly), bubblait (bubbly), publiclait (publicly), friendlait (friendly), hardlait (hardly), badlait (badly) and kindlait (kindly).
  • Pint: Some countries still sell milk measured in pints, so we’ve included some pint-related puns here:
    • Point → Pint: As in, “At this pint in time” and “Beside the pint” and “Brownie pints” and “Drive your pint home” and “Get right to the pint” and “Jumping off pint” and “Not to put too fine a pint on it” and “I see your pint of view” and “Pint out” and “Pint the finger at” and “A talking pint” and “The sticking pint” and “Case in pint” and “The finer pints of” and “The pint of no return.”
    • Pants → Pints: As in, “Ants in their pints” and “Beat the pints off” and “By the seat of your pints” and “Fancy pints” and “Keep your pints on” and “Pints on fire” and “Smarty pints.”
    • Pent → Pint: As in, “Pint up rage.”
    • Pin → Pint: As in, “Bright/clean/neat as a new pint” and “Hard to pint down” and “Pint your ears back” and “Pint the tail on the donkey.”
    •  *pet* → *pint*: As in, “Don’t use that pintulant (petulant) tone with me” and “Perpintual motion machine” and “A compintent (competent) worker.” Other words: impintus (impetus), compintition (competition) and compintence (competence). Note: an impetus is something that compels or encourages you to do something.
    • *pant* → *pint*: As in, “Nothing in the pintry” and “Pinting with fear” and “Disease is rampint” and “A flippint attitude.” Other words that could work: pintomime (pantomime), participint (participant) and occupint (occupant).
    • *pent* → *pint*: As in, “Pinthouse suite” and “Repint for your sins!” Other words: serpint (serpent), pintagram (pentagram) and carpinter (carpenter).
    • Paint → Pint: As in, “A lick of pint” and “A picture pints a thousand words” and “As boring as watching pint dry” and “Body pinting” and “Do I have to pint you a picture?” and “Finger pinting” and “Pint the town red” and “Pinting by numbers.”
  • Skim: Skim milk is where all of the cream is removed from whole milk, and is very low in fat. Here are some skim milk puns:
    • Scam → Skim: As in, “Skim artist.”
    • Slim → Skim: As in, “Skim pickings” and “The real skim shady.”
    • Swim → Skim: As in, “Sink or skim” and “Going skimmingly” and “Skim against the tide” and “Skim with sharks” and “Skim upstream.”
    • Scum → Skim: This is a bit of a stretch but can still work, as in: “Pond skim” and “Skim always rises to the surface.”
  • Cream: Cream is the part of milk that determines the fat content, and “full cream” is another type of milk, so we’ve included cream puns here for you:
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
  • Whole: Whole milk is the term for milk that hasn’t had anything removed from it (like fat). Here are some wholly bad puns for you to use in reference to it:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Fire in the whole!” and “A whole in one” and “Whole in the wall” and “Wholed up” and “Picking wholes in.”
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “Please whole’d the line” and “A whole-istic healing approach” and “Whole-low inside” and “On wholeiday” and “A wholey (holy) offering” and “Beauty is in the eye of the bewholeder” and “Alcowhole content” and “Menth-whole flavoured” and “Crossing the thresh-whole‘d (threshold).”
  • Hi-Lo: Hi-lo (or HiLo) milk is reduced fat – so “high in calcium, low in fat.” Here are some related puns:
    • Hello → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo, big boy” and “You had me at hi-lo” and “Hi-lo hi-lo, what’s going on here then?”
    • Hollow → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo eyed” and “A hi-lo goodbye.”
  • Sour: Sour milk is a common enough phenomenon for us to include here:
    • *sar* → *sour*: As in, “A sourdonic (sardonic) reply” and “Sourcasm isn’t helpful” and “No need to be sourcastic” and “Caesour salad” and “That’s not necessoury” and “Wedding anniversoury” and “A strong adversoury” and “Read the glossoury.” Note: to be sardonic is to be mocking or cynical.
    • *ser* → *sour*: As in, “At your sourvice” and “A sourious conversation” and “Filled with peace and sourenity” and “Close your browsour tabs” and “Brings us closour together” and “Teasour trailer.”
    • *sor* → *sour*: As in, “Filled with sourrow” and “What sourcery is this!” and “I’m sourry” and “I don’t need the sourdid details” and “Trip advisour” and “University professour.” Other words that could work: sponsour (sponsor), supervisour (supervisor), processour (processor), censour (censor) and consourtium (consortium). Note: a consortium is business partnership, or an association between institutions.
    • *sur* → *sour*: As in, “A quick sourvey” and “A sourreal situation” and “As far as I can sourmise” and “On the sourface” and “Recovering from sourgery” and “Sourrogate mother” and “What a sourprise.”
  • Farm: Since milk is from farms, we’ve got some farm-related puns here. We’d also like to note that while happy cows being milked by hand on a friendly farm is a nice idea, that is not how farms (even free-range ones) operate.
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Farmly planted” and “A farm tone of voice.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “Defence is the best farm of offence” and “Bad farm” and “Farm follows function” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “In fine farm” and “The lowest farm of wit” and “Not in any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm.”
    • From → Farm: As in, “A little farm column a, a little farm column b” and “A week farm next Tuesday” and “Farm a nice place” and “Come in farm the cold” and “Cut farm the same cloth” and “Fall farm grace” and “Farm a mile away” and “Farm a to z” and “Farm cover to cover” and “You’ll have to pry it farm my cold, dead hands” and “Farm soup to nuts” and “With love, farm…”
    • Charm → Farm: As in, “Farm the birds out of the trees” and “A farmed life” and “Southern farm” and “Third time’s a farm” and “Works like a farm.”
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “Friends and farmily” and “Seems farmiliar” and “Almost farmous” and “40 hour farmine” and “I’m farmished!” Other words: infarmy (infamy), infarmous (infamous) and defarmation (defamation). Note: infamy is a reputation (or fame) or evil.
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul.”
    • Infomercial → Infarmercial
    • *form* → *farm*: farmidable (formidable), farmula (formula), farmer (former), farmat (format), farmal (formal), farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), confarm (conform), infarm (inform), platfarm (platform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • Pharmacy → Farmacy
  • Spoil: If milk is off/expired, it’s referred to as spoiled, so here are some related puns:
    • Boil → Spoil: As in, “Spoiling with rage” and “It all spoils down to” and “Bring to the spoil” and “A watched pot never spoils” and “Spoil over.”
    • Spell → Spoil: As in, “How do you spoil…” and “You’ll have to spoil it out” and “Be under [someone’s] spoil” and “Break the spoil.”
    • Spill → Spoil: As in, “Spoil the beans” and “Spoil your guts” and “Thrills and spoils.”
    • Gospel → Gospoil: As in, “The gospoil truth.”
  • Choc: We all love choc milk, so it’s earned a place in this list. Choc milk is so popular that you may get away with using just the word “choc” as a reference to milk (here’s a nice chocolate milk recipe for you to try as well):
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Shake: Since milkshakes are such a popular milk drink, you may get away with using “shake” to refer to “milkshakes” in your wordplay:
    • Shock → Shake: As in, “Culture shake” and “In for a shake” and “In shake” and “Shell-shaked” and “Shake and awe.”
    • Ache → Shake: As in, “Old shakes and pains” and “Splitting headshake.”
    • Sake → Shake: As in, “For heaven’s/goodness shake” and “For old time’s shake.”
  • Kefir: Kefir is a fairly recent probiotic, milk-based drink. Here are some related puns:
    • Key for → Kefir: “This is the kefir the back door.”
    • Keep her → Kefir: “Being able to draw helps kefir spirits up.”
  • Soy milk: Soy milk is perhaps the most widespread (and cheap) non-dairy milk available and comes in different flavours. Here are some related puns:
      • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
      • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”
      • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
      • Thesaurus → Thesoyrus
      • *so* → *soy*: espressoy (espresso), virtuosoy (virtuoso), esoyteric (esoteric), philosoyphy (philosophy), resoylution (resolution), soylution (solution), soyphisticated (sophisticated) and soydium (sodium).
  • Almond milk: As almond milk is another popular type of milk, we’ve got some almond puns here too (and here’s a popular almond milk brand):
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Rice milk: Another readily available dairy-free milk option which we’ve included a few puns for here:
    • Raise → Rice: As in, “Rice a stink” and “Rice hell” and “Rice the bar” and “Rice the roof.”
    • Race → Rice: As in, “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rice to the bottom” and “Rat rice.”
  • Owed → Oat: As in, “Give me what I am oat!” Note: this is a reference to oat milk.
  • Contents → Condensed: As in, “Let me check the condensed” and “Have you read the condensed section?” and “Home and condensed insurance.” Note: this is a reference to condensed milk.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in milk and dairy products.
  • Curdle: If milk is really off, it can curdle. Here are some terrible and related puns:
    • Hurdle → Curdle: “Fall at the last curdle” and “Clearing all the curdles.”
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
  • Breast: Well, this is where milk comes from, so it seemed wrong to not include breast puns (keep ’em respectful) here too:
    • Best → Breast: As in, “All the breast” and “Be the breast” and “Breast friends forever” and “Breast in show” and “Breast of all” and “Breast practice” and “Bring out the breast in me” and “Doing what we do breast” and “Honesty is the breast policy” and “Hope for the breast” and “Living well is the breast revenge” and “Nothing but the breast” and “On your breast behaviour.”
    • Pressed → Breast: As in, “Breast for time/money.”
    • *best* → *breast*: As in, “The greatest honour I could breastow” and “Breastselling novel.”
    • *pressed* → *breast*: As in, “Deeply imbreast (impressed)” and “Subbreast (suppressed) feelings” and “I exbreast (expressed) my emotions to her” and “An unimbreast (unimpressed) tone.”
    • Prestige → Breastige
  • Memory → Mammary: As in, “Down mammary lane” and “In living mammary” and “Mammary lapse” and “Mammary like a sieve” and “Thanks for the mammaries.” Note: mammaries are the milk-secreting organs in breasts.

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Milk-Related Words

To help you come up with your own milk puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

milk, cow, udder, dairy, litre, pint, skim, full, cream, full cream, whole, hi-lo, lowfat, pasteurised, homogenised, UHT, lactose, farm, chocolate, strawberry, banana, milkshake, kefir, soy, almond, coconut, hazelnut, macadamia, rice, oat, leche, lait, rotten, spoiled, expired, lactate, evaporated, condensed, sour, mylk, goat, sheep, yak, buffalo, curdled, casein, breast

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Cheese Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cheese puns! 🧀 🐭

Cheese is an internationally loved food that can be enjoyed on its own, as a base for recipes or simply as a topping or flavouring. Although it’s celebrated for its tasty qualities, we should be aware that there are many dairy-free replacements we can (and should) use instead so as to not support the dairy industry. If you’re concerned about your calcium intake, don’t be – there are many vegan sources of calcium available.

In this list, we’ve tried to cover cheese ingredients, types of cheese, and popular cheese dishes, so we hope to have you covered no matter what you’re after. Wow your tinder date, ruin family games night and win that pun thread with our cheesy cheese puns list!

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, pizza puns, food puns, milk puns and taco puns.

Cheese Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cheese that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of cheese puns:

  • She’s → Cheese: As in, “By george, I think cheese got it!” and “Cheese all that” and “Maybe cheese born with it (Maybelline slogan)” and “Cheese the best.”
  • Seize → Cheese: As in, “Cheese them!” and “Cheese the day.”
  • Bees → Cheese: As in, “The birds and the cheese” and “Mind your own cheesewax.”
  • Geez → Cheese: “Oh cheese, I’m so sorry” and “Cheese Louise!”
  • Be → Brie: As in, “Brie my guest” and “Brie mine” and “Not all it’s cracked up to brie” and “Brie done with it” and “I’ll brie around” and “Brie that as it may” and “Brie yourself” and “Brie still my beating heart.” Note: here’s a vegan brie and a vegan brie recipe.)
  • We gotta → Ricotta: As in, “Ricotta get going!” Note: here’s a quick vegan ricotta recipe, and a vegan ricotta that you can buy readymade.
  • Ease → Cheese: As in, “Cheese up a little” and “Ill at cheese” and “If it will set your mind at cheese.”
  • Easy → Cheesy: As in, “Cheesy as ABC” and “Cheesy as pie” and “Cheesy access” and “Cheesy come, cheesy go” and “Cheesy does it” and “Cheesy money” and “Cheesy on the eyes” and “Cheesy street” and “Cheesy peasy” and “Take it cheesy.”
  • Eas* → Cheese*: cheesygoing (easygoing), cheesel (easel), Cheeseter (Easter), cheesily (easily), Cheesetern (Eastern) and cheesier (easier).
  • Cheers → Cheese: As in, “Cheese to the married couple!” and “Three cheese for…”
  • Please → Cheese: As in, “Cheesed as punch” and “However you cheese” and “One moment, cheese” and “Cheese be seated.”
  • Trees → Cheese: As in, “Can’t see the wood for the cheese” and “Charm the birds out of the cheese” and “Money doesn’t grow on cheese.”
  • Threes → Cheese: As in, “Good things come in cheese.”
  • Seas → Cheese: As in, “On the high cheese.”
  • Chase → Cheese: As in, “Cheese-ing your own tail” and “Cut to the cheese (this is similar to the phrase “cut the cheese“, meaning to pass gas)” and “The thrill of the cheese” and “A wild goose cheese” and “Cheese-ing after” and “Give cheese.”
  • Purchase → Purcheese: As in, “Free gift with purcheese” and “An impulse purcheese” and “Unecessary purcheeses.”
  • Choose → Cheese: As in, “A woman’s right to cheese” and “Pick and cheese” and “Cheese your weapon” and “Your mission, if you cheese to accept it” and “You can cheese your friends but not your family.”
  • Ches* → Cheese*: If a word starts with “ches”, we can edit it to be “cheese” instead: “That old cheese-tnut” and “Cheeseshire cat grin.”
  • *chis* → *cheese*: We can sneak “cheese” into words that have a “cheez” or “chize” sound: “Cheeseled (chiseled) jaw” and “Own your own francheese” and “The disenfrancheesed masses.” Note: if one is disenfranchised, then they do not have the right to vote.
  • Chose* → Cheese*: As in, “You’re the one I cheese” and “The cheesen one” and “Many are called, but few are cheesen.”
  • *gis* → *cheese*: As in, “Get the cheese’t (gist) of it” and “Recheeseter (register) to vote” and “Locheesetics (logistics) manager” and “New lecheeselation (legislation)” and “Marriage recheesetry (registry)” and “Biased macheesetrate.”
  • *jes* → *cheese*: As in, “Cheese-us Christ” and “Cheese-us wept” and “What would Cheese-us do?” and “Your macheesety (majesty)” and “Macheesetic (majestic) views.”
  • Permission → Parmesan: As in, “Better to ask forgiveness than parmesan” and “Signed parmesan slip” and “Ask parmesan for” and “Parmesan based marketing.”
  • Emojis → Emocheese
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.”
  • Better → Cheddar: As in, “I’ve got a cheddar idea” and “Appeal to your cheddar judgement” and “My cheddar half” and “Cheddar late than never!” and “Cheddar luck next time” and “Cheddar safe than sorry” and “Cheddar than new” and “Change for the cheddar.”
  • Shed → Cheddar: As in, “Cheddar light on the matter” and “Cheddar a tear.”
  • Chatterbox → Cheddarbox (Note: here’s a vegan cheddar recipe – there are many others a quick google away.)
  • Bee → Brie: As in, “Busy as a brie” and “Brie in your bonnet” and “Birds and the bries” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a brie” and “Make a brieline for” and “Like a brie to a honeypot” and “Flight of the bumblebrie” and “The brie’s knees
  • Beautiful → Brie-utiful: As in, “All things bright and brie-utiful” and “Black is brie-utiful” and “The start of a brie-utiful friendship.”
  • Breeze → Brie’ze: As in, “Life’s a brie‘ze” and “Shoot the brie‘ze.” Note: to shoot the breeze is to talk idly.
  • Disagree → Disabrie: As in, “Agree to disabrie” and “Disabrie with” and “Having a disabriement.”
  • R&B → R&Brie: (Note: r&b stands for “rhythm and blues” and is a genre of music.)
  • Pea → Brie: As in, “Like two bries in a pod” and “Easy as shelling bries” and “Mashed potatoes and bries.”
  • *bra* → *brie*: Swap out “brah” sounds for “brie”: algebrie (algebra), vertebrie (vertebra), candelabrie (candelabra), briece (brace), embriece (embrace), libriery (library), vibrient (vibrant), brieve (brave), brien (brain), abriesive (abrasive) and brienchild (brainchild).
  • *bre* → *brie: As in, “Give me a briek” and “A different bried of human” and “Security briech” and “Take a deep brieth” and “Mental briekdown” and “Briethe deeply” and “Technological briekthrough” and “Watch your abbrieviations.”
  • *bri* → *brie*: As in, “Briedge over troubled waters” and “Here comes the briede” and “Briedal march” and “Brieghtens my day” and “Brieng your own” and “Brieght and early” and “Brielliant shine” and “Briesk morning walk” and “Peanut briettle” and “Marking rubriec” and “Dust and debries” and “Hybried car.”
  • Diabetes → Diabrietes
  • *bi* → *brie*: “A phobrie-a of heights” and “Wasabrie flavoured” and “An arbrietrary decision” and “I forbried you!” and “Financial liabrielity.” Other words that could work: dubrieous (dubious), abrielity (ability), accountabrielity (accountability), capabrielity (capability), sustainabrielity (sustainability), vulnerabrielity (vulnerability) and availabrielity (availability).
  • *pre* → *brie*: “pre” and “brie” sound quite similar, so it’s easy to swap the two sounds: “All briesent (present) and accounted for” and “What’s the briemise (premise) of the movie?” and “Briejudice (prejudice) is never okay” and “Play brietend (pretend) and make-believe (or brielieve!)” and “A brietentious (pretentious) establishment.” Other words that could work: briesceint (prescient), briedicate (predicate), briemium (briemium), abbrieciate (appreciate) and combriehensive (comprehensive).
  • *pri* → *brie*: As in, “Briede and Prejudice” and “Corrupt brienciples (principles)” and “Briencipal players” and “Check your brievilege” and “Brieme time television” and “Name your briece.” Other words that could work: brient (print), approbrieate (appropriate), combriese (comprise), cabriecious (capricious) and enterbriese (enterprise).
  • I can’t remember → I camembert (here’s a recipe for dairy-free camembert)
  • Illuminati → Hallouminati: (here’s a recipe for dairy-free halloumi)
  • Wish → Swiss: As in, “Be careful what you swiss for” and “Be the change you swiss to see” and “Swiss you were here” and “When you swiss upon a star” and “Swissful thinking” and “Swiss me luck.” Note: here’s a dairy-free swiss cheese recipe, and a readymade vegan swiss that you can buy.
  • *sis* → *swiss*: As in, “Soul swisster” and “Swisstine chapel” and “Calls for further analyswiss” and “My hypotheswiss states” and “Arch nemeswiss” and “On the baswiss of” and “Theswiss due in two weeks.” Other words you could use: criswiss (crisis), synopswiss (synopsis), antitheswiss (antithesis), conswisstent (consistent) and narcisswisst (narcissist).
  • Better → Feta: As in, “I’ve got a feta idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do feta” and “Appeal to your feta judgement” and “Feta by design” and “My feta half” and “Feta late than never” and “Feta luck next time” and “Feta safe than sorry” and “Feta than sex” and “Feta than new” and “Change for the feta.” Note: here’s a plant-based feta recipe, and a readymade dairyfree feta you can buy.
  • Fed → Feta: As in, “Feta up to the back teeth” and “Well feta.”
  • Federal → Fetarel
  • Fat → Feta: As in, “A feta lot of good that did” and “Baby feta” and “Big feta grin” and “Feta chance” and “Not over till the feta lady sings.”
  • Fitter → Feta: As in, “A leaner, feta you.”
  • Fettucine → Fetacine
  • *fat* → *feta*: As in, “Chronic fetague” and “That fetaful (fateful) night” and “An indefetagable (indefatigable) army” and “Feta‘l attraction” and “Fetality! (read in game announcer voice)” and “Long-term infeta-uation (infatuation).” Note: if someone is indefatigable, then they’re relentless and untiring.
  • *fet* → *feta*: As in, “Latex fetash” and “Fetad (fetid) surroundings.” Note: if something is fetid, then it smells bad.
  • *fit → *feta: As in, “For your benefeta” and “Stylish new outfeta” and “Turn over a profeta” and “Nonprofeta organisation.”
  • *phet* → *feta*: profeta (prophet), profeta-ic (prophetic) and amfetamine (amphetamine).
  • *fed* → *feta*: fetaora (fedora), fetaration (federation) and confetarate (confederate).
  • Blue: Blue cheese is a general type of cheese that has mold added into it, and is popular among cheese enthusiasts. We’ve added some blue-related puns here that could be used as cheese puns in the right context (and here is a recipe for blue cheese):
    • Blow → Blue: As in, “Any way the wind blues” and “Blue a fuse” and “Blue a kiss.”
    • Blew → Blue: “That really blue me away.”
    • Boo → Blue: As in, “Blue hoo” and “Wouldn’t say blue to a ghost.”
  • Gotta → Gouda: As in, “Gouda catch ’em all” and “I gouda go!” and “You gouda ask yourself” and “Gouda look out for number one.”
  • Good → Gouda: As in, “I’ve a gouda mind to” and “A gouda time was had by all” and “Does you gouda” and “A world of gouda” and “All gouda things must come to an end” and “All in gouda time” and “As gouda as gold” and “As gouda as it gets” and “Gouda as new” and “Gouda as your word” and “As gouda luck would have it” and “Be a gouda sport” and “Deliver the goudas” and “Do a gouda turn” and “Do not go gentle into that gouda night” and “Do you want the gouda news or the bad news?” and “Fight the gouda fight” and “For goudaness sake.”
  • Could/Could’a → Gouda: As in, “As fast as their legs gouda carry them” and “Gouda’nt care less” and “Gouda do it in my sleep” and “You gouda helped out” and “If looks gouda kill.” Note: here are a few vegan gouda options.
  • Have → Havarti: As in, “As good luck would havarti it” and “Couldn’t havarti said it better” and “You don’t havarti a clue” and “Havarti I got news for you” and “Havarti a bite to eat.” Note: here’s a dairy-free havarti option.
  • Rind: Many cheeses are encased in a protective wax rind, so we’ve included rind-related puns and phrases here:
    • Grind → Rind: As in, “Got an axe to rind” and “Bump and rind” and “The daily rind” and “Don’t let the bastards rind you down” and “Rind to a halt” and “Rinding your teeth.”
    • Rend → Rind: As in, “Heart rinding” and “Rinder useless.”
    • Round → Rind: As in, “All year rind” and “They’ll come rind.”
    • Mind → Rind: “Change your rind” and “I’ve a good rind to…” and “A healthy rind in a healthy body” and “A load off your rind” and “A rind is a terrible thing to waste” and “Always on my rind” and “Absent rinded” and “Bear in rind” and “This will blow your rind!” and “Before you make up your rind, open it.”
    • Find → Rind: As in, “Rind it in your heart” and “Rind your footing” and “Rinders keepers” and “Rinding Nemo” and “Seek, and ye shall rind” and “Love will rind a way.”
    • Wind → Rind: “Rind someone up” and “Time to unrind.”
    • Wined and dined → Rind and dined
    • *rend* → *rind*: As in, “Secret rindezvous” and “A stirring rindition of” and “Surrinder your weapons!” Other words that could work: serindipity (serendipity), referindum (referendum) and serindipitous (serendipitous). Note: serendipity is a type of happy accident.
  • Paneer: Paneer is a soft Indian cheese. Here are related puns (and here’s a vegan paneer recipe):
    • Pan* → Paneer*: As in, “Flash in the paneer” and “Down the paneer” and “Flat as a paneer-cake” and “Wait for it to paneer out.”
    • Spanner → S’paneer: As in, “Throw a s’paneer in the works.”
    • Veneer → Paneer: “A shiny paneer” and “Dental paneers.” Note: a veneer is a thin, decorative covering.
    • Ear → Paneer: As in, “All paneers” and “Cute as a bug’s paneer” and “Bend your paneer” and “Smiling from paneer to paneer” and “A paneer for music.”
    • Company → Companeer: As in, “Known by the companeer you keep” and “Enjoy your companeer” and “In good companeer” and “Keep companeer with” and “Misery loves companeer” and “Present companeer excepted” and “Two’s companeer, three’s a crowd.”
  • Grey → Gruyere: As in, “Fifty Shades of Gruyere” and “A gruyere area” and “Gruyere is the new black” and “Gruyere matter.” Note: here’s a vegan gruyere recipe for you to try.
  • Alone → Provalone: As in, “Leave well enough provalone” and “Let provalone” and “You’ll never walk provalone” and “Time provalone will tell.”
  • A damn → Edam: As in, “Why should I give edam?” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t give edam.” Note: here’s a vegan edam that you can try.
  • Adam → Edam: As in, “Edam’s apple” and “I wouldn’t know them from Edam.”
  • Need him → N’edam: As in, “I don’t n’edam – not a guy like that.”
  • Freedom → Fr’edam: As in, “A symbol of fr’edam” and “Fr’edam fighter” and “Fr’edam of the press” and “Last taste of fr’edam.”
  • Case of → Queso: “In queso emergency…” Note: queso is a type of melted cheese, usually used as a dipping sauce.
  • ‘Kay, so → Queso: “Queso, what’s next?” and “Queso, shall we get started?”
  • Piece of → Pizza: As in “You want a pizza me?” and “That’s a pizza cake.” and “They all want a pizza the action.” and “That’s a fine pizza ass.” and “That’s a pizza piss.” and “He’s a nasty pizza work.” and “How long is a pizza string?” and “I’ll give him a pizza my mind!” and “You’re a real pizza work.” and “Pizza the pie” and “Abbreviated pizza nothing”
  • Piece of my heart → Pizza my hut
  • Peace of mind → Pizza mind
  • Pete’s sake → Pizzake: As in “For pizzake! Will you two get a room?”
  • Beats are → Pizza: As in “I love your music! These pizza so good.”
  • Beats a → Pizza: As in “It pizza poke in the eye with a sharp stick.” and “It pizza slow and painful death.”
  • Beats around → Pizza-round: As in “He pizza-round the bush and never gets anything accomplished.”
  • Not yours → Nachos: As in, “That’s nachos to take” and “Don’t touch! They’re nachos.”
  • Not just → Nachos: As in “She’s nachos a pretty face.” and “I’m nachos another one of your minions.”
  • Not yourself → Nachoself: As in “Are you feeling all right? You’re nachoself today.”
  • Not yo* → Nacho*: As in “It’s nachogurt, it’s sour cream.” and “It’s nachoga, it’s Pilates.”
  • Macho → Nacho: As in “Nacho man.”
  • Grilled: Since grilled cheese (as in a grilled cheese sandwich) is a very popular meal/snack, we’ve included some related phrases and puns here:
    • Thrilled → Grilled: As in, “Grilled to bits!” and “We’re grilled to have you here.”
    • Bill → Grill: As in, “These are my grillable hours” and “A clean grill of health.”
    • Filled → Grilled: As in, “Grilled with happiness” and “Cream-grilled” and “A smoke-grilled room.”
    • Girl → Grill: As in, “A grill’s best friend” and “The grill next door” and “Grills just wanna have fun” and “Boys and grills.”
    • Gorilla → Grilla: As in “The silverback grilla is native to this area.”
    • Guerrilla → Grilla: As in “The inhabitants used grilla warfare to drive out the enemy.”
  • Fondue: As fondue is a very popular cheese dish (one where cheese is mixed with other ingredients and used as a savoury dip), we’ve included fondue-related puns (here’s a list of cheesy fondue recipes for you to try):
    • Fond of → Fondue: “I’m quite fondue you.”
    • Fonder → Fondue: “Absence makes the heart grow fondue.”
    • Fun, do → Fondue: “I’m having fondue you think we can come again?”
  • Cream: Cream is related to cheese as both a quality (the creaminess of cheese) and as a type (cream cheese spread), so we’ve got some cream-related puns to double as cheese puns (and here are a couple of vegan cream cheese recipes!):
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
  • Shredded: Cheese tends to come in either whole blocks or wheels, or shredded in bags. These puns are for the shredded cheese fans:
    • Headed → Shredded: As in, “Which way are you shredded?”
    • Shed → Shred: As in, “Shred light on the matter” and “Shred a tear” and “Shredding your old skin.”
    • Thread → Shred: As in, “Hanging by a shred.”
  • Melt: Cheese is known for its creamy, melty qualities, so we’ve got some melt-related puns here for you too:
    • Melt: These phrases are general enough to double as puns in the right context: “In the melting pot” and “Melt into tears” and “Melting my heart.”
    • *met* → *melt*: As in, “Mixed meltaphor” and “Heavy meltal.” Other words that could work: melticulous (meticulous), meltrics (metrics), paramelter (parameter) and geomeltry (geometry).
  • Hole: These puns are in reference to the holes (or “eyes”) in swiss cheese:
    • Whole → Hole: As in, “A hole different ballgame” and “Go the hole way” and “Can’t believe I ate the hole thing” and “Let’s just call the hole thing off” and “On the hole” and “The hole is greater than the sum of its parts” and “A hole lotta love” and “The hole nine yards.”
    • Hell → Hole: As in, “All hole broke loose” and “Bat out of hole” and “Burn in hole!” and “Hole on Earth.”
    • *hal* → *hole*: Holeoween (Halloween), marshole (marshal), werewithole (werewithal), lethole (lethal) and patriarchole (patriarchal).
    • Hilarious → Hole-arious
    • *hol* → *hole*: As in, “Happy Hole-idays” and “A hole-istic vision” and “Hole’d my phone” and “A hole-ow (hollow) answer” and “Cup hole-der” and “Beauty is in the eye of the behole-der” and “Blood alcohole limit” and “Methole flavoured.” Other words that could work: Warhole (an in Andy Warhol), threshole‘d, melancholey and psychole-logy.
    • Holy → Holey: As in, “Holey moses” and “Holey cow batman!”
  • Mile → Mild: As in, “A thousand milds” and “Go the extra mild” and “Could see you a mild away.” Note: mild is a more common descriptor for a certain (more gentle) type of aroma and flavour of cheese.
  • Spice → Slice: As in, “Eleven secret herbs and slices” and “Slice things up” and “Sugar and slice and all things nice” and “Variety is the slice of life.”
  • Slice: These slice-related phrases are general enough to use as cheese puns: “Any way you slice it” and “A slice of life” and “Slice of the action” and “No matter how you slice it.”
  • Reap → Ripe: As in, “Ripe the rewards” and “Grim riper” and “Ripe what you sow.”
  • *rap* → *ripe*: ripeacious (rapacious), ripeture (rapture), ripetor (raptor).
  • *rep* → *ripe*: ripe-public (republic), ripeproach (reproach), riperesent (represent), ripeply (reply), riperemind (reprimand), entripepreneur (entrepreneur), discripepancy (discrepancy) and intripepid (intrepid).
  • Great → Grate: As in, “A grate day for..” and “All creatures, grate and small” and “Go to grate lengths” and “Grate expectations” and “Grate minds think alike” and “The grate outdoors” and “Having a grate time, wish you were here” and “Set grate store by” and “With grate power comes grate responsibility.”
  • Gate → Grate: As in, “Golden Grate bridge” and “Right out the grate” and “Open the floodgrates.”
  • Get → Grate: As in, “As good as it grates” and “Buy one, grate one free” and “Can’t grate you out of my head” and “Come and grate it” and “Don’t grate me started” and “Grate a grip” and “Grate a kick out of it” and “Grate back on your feet.”
  • *gat* → *grate*: mitigrate (mitigate), aggregrate (aggregate), propagrate (propagate), prerograte-ive (prerogative), delegrate, obligrate-ion (obligation), surrograte. Notes: a prerogative is a right or privilege.
  • *grat* → *grate*: As in, “Filled with grate-itude” and “Grate-uitous violence” and “Instant grate-ification” and “Seamless integrate-ion.” Other words you could use: congrate-ulations, integrate-d, conflagrate-ion (conflagration).
  • *gret* → *grate*: “I regrate to inform you” and “Regrateably, we write to tell you…” and “Topped with vinaigrate.”
  • Integrity → Integratey
  • Mould/Mold: Mold (or mould, depending where you are in the world) is what makes blue cheese blue, and so is a part of the cheese-loving community. Here are some moldy old puns for you to play with:
    • Gold → Mold: As in, “A pot of mold” and “After the mold rush” and “As good as mold” and “All that glitters is not mold” and “Fool’s mold” and “Go for mold” and “Mold digger” and “Molden years” and “A molden opportunity” and “A heart of mold” and “Silence is molden” and “Worth your weight in mold.”
    • Mild → Mold: As in, “Mold-mannered” and “To put it moldly…”
    • *mod* → *mold*: As in, “Moldest living quarters” and “Moldern architecture” and “Politically molderate” and “The newest moldel” and “Accommoldate your requests.” Other words that could work: moldify (modify) and commoldity (commodity).
    • Old → Mold: As in, “Tale as mold as time” and “Tough as mold boots” and “For mold time’s sake.”
  • Curd: Curds are the parts of milk that coagulates when treated with enzymes to make it sour, and are what cheese is essentially composed of. Here are some terrible curd puns here:
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Curb → Curd: As in, “Curd your enthusiasm” and “Kicked to the curd.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
    • Cared → Curd: “I knew you really curd.”
    • Cured → Curd: “What can’t be curd must be endured.”
    • *cad* → *curd*: As in, “Acurdemic career” and “All girl’s acurdemy” and “A decurdent spread” and “Throughout the decurds (decades)” and “Avocurdo toast.” Other words that could work: curdaver (cadaver) and curdet (cadet).
    • *cod* → *curd*: Encurd (encode) and curdify (codify).
    • *cud* → *curd*: As in, “Loving curddles” and “Curddly as a puppy” and “Oooh, barracurda (from the song “Barracuda”).
    • *card* → *curd*: curdinal (cardinal), curdboard (cardboard), curdigan (cardigan), curdio (cardio), curdiac (cardiac) and discurd (discard).
    • *cord* → *curd*: As in, “Raspberry curdial” and “You are curdially invited to our wine and cheese tasting” and “Curduroy pants” and “For the recurd” and “Of your own accurd” and “Let’s chat on discurd.” Other words you could use: accurdingly (accordingly), concurdance (concordance) and accurdance (accordance). Note: Discord is a free chat software.
  • Baby → Babybel: As in, “And babybel makes three” and “Helpless as a babybel” and “Babybel, please don’t go.” Note: Babybel is a popular Australian brand of snack cheeses.
  • String: String cheese is a popular snack (usually used in children’s lunchboxes). Here are some related puns:
    • Bring → String: As in, “String it on” and “String something to light” and “String the house down” and “String to the table” and “String up to date” and “Stringing up the rear” and “Making things that string people closer together.”
    • Ring → String: As in, “Alarm bells begin to string” and “A dead stringer” and “Doesn’t string a bell” and “Don’t string us, we’ll string you” and “String of fire.”
    • Sting → String: As in, “Float like a butterfly, string like a bee.”
    • *sting → *string: As in, “Real estate listring” and “Interestring times” and “Castring call” and “Testring, testring” and “Don’t be disgustring” and “Everlastring love” and “Awarded points for existring” and “Nestring instincts” and “A lastring disagreement” and “Can’t distringuish between the two.”
    • Swing → String: As in, “Come out stringing” and “Get into the string of it” and “In full string” and “String both ways” and “Take a string at” and “The king of string” and “String and a miss.”
    • String: These string-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Second string” and “No strings attached” and “Stringing along.”
  • Sauce: Cheese sauce is another common way to enjoy cheese, so we’ve got some saucy puns to double as cheese puns in the right context (and here are some vegan cheese sauce recipes):
    • Source → Sauce: “Check your sauces” and “Crowdsauce” and “Go straight to the sauce” and “I refuse to reveal my sauces” and “Renewable resauces” and “Open sauce” and “Sauce material.”
    • *sas* → *sauce*: sauce-shimi (sashimi), Arkansauce (Arkansas), Kansauce (Kansas), disauceter (disaster), assaucein (assasin) and disaucetrous (disastrous).
    • *sis* → *sauce*: As in, “Further analysauce required” and “My hypothesauce states” and “Arch nemesauce” and “On the basauce (basis) of” and “Consaucetent (consistent – this one’s a bit of a stretch) with my findings.” Other words that could work: thesauce (thesis), crisauce (crisis) and synopsauce (synopsis).
    • Isoceles → Isauceles: (note: isoceles means equal sides.)
    • *sus* → *sauce*: saucetain (sustain), saucetainable (sustainable), sauceceptible (susceptible), saucepicious (suspicious), saucepend (suspend), saucetainability (sustainability), saucepense (suspense), saucepension (suspension), saucetenance (sustenance), consensauce (consensus), versauce (versus) and censauce (census).
  • Whey: Whey is the liquid that’s left after milk has been curdled and strained in the cheese-making process. We’re getting a bit technical here, but we’ve included whey-related puns and phrases in this list too!
    • Way → Whey: As in, “A funny thing happened on the whey there…” and “All the whey” and “That’s the whey it is” and “Any whey the wind blows” and “Any which whey” and “Born this whey” and “By the whey” and “By whey of explanation” and “Change your wheys” and “Laughing all the whey to the bank” and “Doing it the hard whey” and “Don’t know which whey to look” and “Every step of the whey.”
    • Weigh/t → Whey/t: As in, “Whey anchor” and “Whey-ed in the balance” and “Throw your wheyt around” and “Whey in” and “Wheyt of the world” and “Worth its wheyt in gold.”
    • Waste → Wheyste: As in, “Don’t wheyste your breath” and “Haste makes wheyste” and “Lay wheyste to” and “Toxic wheyste” and “Wheysting away” and “Wheyste not, want no” and “Wheyste of space.”
    • *way → *whey: As in, “Awhey with you” and “Awhey with the fairies” and “A dead giveawhey” and “Explain awhey” and “Get carried awhey” and “Takeawhey food” and “Any takeawheys?” and “Plans underwhey and “Do things halfwhey” and “Gatewhey drug” and “It needed it anywhey.”
    • *wai* → *whey*: As in, “An accident wheyting to happen” and “Lie in wheyt” and “Reading and wheyting” and “The wheyt is over” and “Wheyve (waive) your fees” and “Signed wheyver (waiver)” and “Wheyling with grief” and “Thin as a wheyf.” Other words that could work: wheyst (waist), wheyter (waiter) and awheyt (await).
    • Wave → Wheyve: As in, “A life on the ocean wheyves” and “Catch a wheyve” and “Smile and wheyve, boys. Smile and wheyve” and “Heave wheyve” and “Making wheyves” and “On the same wheyvelength.”
    • Whale → Wheyle: As in, “A wheyle of a time” and “Save the wheyles.”
    • Well → Wheyll: As in, “Alive and wheyll” and “All’s wheyll that ends wheyll” and “As wheyll as can be expected” and “Get wheyll soon” and “Just as wheyll” and “You know full wheyll” and “Leave wheyll enough alone” and “Living wheyll is the best revenge” and “Might as wheyll” and “That’s all wheyll and good” and “Wheyll I never!” and “Wheyll fed” and “Wheyll, actually…”
    • We’ll → Whey’ll: As in, “Don’t call us, whey’ll call you” and “Whey’ll never do it that way.”
  • Humbly → Crumbly: “We crumbly request that you remove your shoes.” Note: since crumbly is a common cheese descriptor/quality, we’ve added it here.
  • Testing → Tasting: As in, “Tasting, tasting, one two three.” and “The next phase of tasting involves…”
  • Wasting → Tasting: As in, “Tasting your time” and “Tasting away.”
  • Homage → Fromage: “Paying fromage to…” Note: fromage is French for cheese.
  • Make → Milk: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but can still work! Since cheese is made of milk, we’ve included a milk pun in here too (and here are some dairy-free milks you can try, along with why you should try going dairy-free): “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Raclette: This is both a type of cheese and a type of cheese dish, so we’ve included it in this list:
    • Regret → Raclette: As in, “My one raclette in life” and “No raclettes.”
    • Racket → Raclette: As in, “Making an awful raclette” and “Money-making raclette.”
  • Carefully → Caerphilly: As in, “Pick your battles caerphilly” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a caerphilly thought out bad decision” and “Move slowly and caerphilly.” Note: Caerphilly is a type of crumbly cheese.
  • Cow: We’ve got a few cow-related puns in here since cheese is commonly made from cow’s milk (for other cow-related puns, see our cow pun list):
    • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
    • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
    • Chow → Cow: “Cow down.”
    • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This wasn’t a cowincidence.”
    • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Goat: Goat’s cheese is another popular type of cheese, so here are a couple of goat-related puns (for more, see our goat pun list):
    • Get → Goat: As in “Couldn’t goat a word in edgewise” and “Better goat moving” and “You’d better goat used to it” and “I can’t goat enough” and “Come and goat it!” and “Just trying to goat by” and “Don’t goat me wrong” and “Don’t goat me started” and “From the goat-go (get-go)” and “Goating mixed signals” and “Goat my foot in the door” and “Goat your knickers in a twist.”
    • Got → Goat: As in “You have goat to be kidding me” and “I haven’t goat all day” and “Cat goat your tongue?” and “Goat it in one!” and “Goat me stumped” and “Goat to get moving” and “Goat to run” and “(Someone) has goat game” and “Something’s goat to give” and “The one that goat away” and “You goat it!” and “You’ve goat another thing coming” and “You’ve goat me there” and “You’ve goat to do what you’ve goat to do.” Note: here’s a recipe for dairy-free goat cheese you can try.
  • Wine: As wine and cheese are a popular pairing, we’ve included a couple of wine puns in here:
    • Whine → Wine
    • Wane → Wine: “On the wine.”
    • Wonder → Wine-der: As in, “Works wine-ders” and “Gutless wine-der” and “It’s a wine-derful life” and “No small wine-der” and “Wine-ders never cease.”
  • Run it → Rennet: “Did you rennet by them for approval?” Note: rennet is used in the cheese-making industry to curdle milk (which will then form curds to be pressed into cheese). Rennet is a set of enzymes which helps young mammals digest their mother’s mik. We obtain rennet from the stomachs of unweaned calves, which is just one more reason to look at vegan cheese options rather than dairy.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in dairy products.

These next few puns are based around the base ingredients for vegan cheese varieties:

  • Cashew: Cashew is a very popular base for cheese alternatives as it’s very mild, creamy, and goes well with heaps of other ingredients (here are a couple of cashew cheese recipes to try out):
    • Catch you → Cashew: As in, “Careful, you don’t want them to cashew!” and “I’ll cashew later” and “They’ll cashew out” and “I’m gonna cashew!”
    • Cash you → Cashew: As in, “I’ll cashew in.”
    • Shoes → Cashews: As in, “Goody two cashews” and “Kick off your cashews.”
    • Achoo → Cashew (this one is a bit of a stretch, yes, but can work with enough dedication and acting prowess)
  • Soy: The classic old soy cheese, while slightly less exciting than cashew cheese, is still very popular among vegan cheese fans, so we’ve included it here:
    • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
    • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
    • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”

To finish off, here are some celebrity names changed around to be dangerously cheesy:

  • Paris Hilton → Paris Stilton
  • Beyonce → Brieonce
  • Fetty Wap → Fetta Wap
  • Kim Kardashian → Kim Curdashian
  • Jane Fonda → Jane Fondue
  • Kate Moss → Kate Mozzarella

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits. And finally, here’s a great list of delicious vegan cheese recipes that you can enjoy 🙂

Cheese-Related Words

To help you come up with your own cheese puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

cheese, dairy, cheddar, mozzarella, camembert, haloumi, brie, swiss, feta, ricotta, gouda, bocconcini, gruyere, provolone, pecorino, parmesan, havarti, gorgonzola, edam, stilton, cottage, mascarpone, babybel, paneer, queso, nacho, grilled, fondue, cream, string, sauce, shredded, sliced, slice, holes, eyes, cow, goat, sheep, milk, melt, platter, wine, creamy, mild, sharp, hard, soft, aged, crumbly, ripe, blue, tasting, curdle, pasteurised, butterfat, rind, rennet, curds, whey, casein, fat, mold, bacteria, annatto, calcium, mac n cheese, cheese puffs, fromage, buffalo, raclette, limburger, roquefort, caerphilly, cashew, soy, pizza, cheeseboard, grate, grater

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Cow Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cow puns! 🐮🐄 The list contains bull puns, calf puns, udder puns, and quite a few others based around cow-related topics, but this entry is a work-in-progress, so please help us by submitting more puns in the comments at the bottom 🙂

As always, Punpedia does its best to be a cruelty-free site, so we won’t be including any jokes or puns about branding, slaughtering, or bull-fighting. While we do have lists on dairy products (see our cheese puns and milk puns), we encourage everyone to learn about the dairy industry. Check out how cool cows are (it’s a video), and enjoy the puns!

Cow Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cows that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of cow puns:

  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “How now, brown cow?” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • Bull: Likewise, there are several idioms/phrases that are easy bull puns: “A cock-and-bull story” and “Like a bull in a china shop” and “Bull-headed” and “Grab the bull by its horns” and “Full of bull” and “Bull’s-eye” and “Mess with the bull and you get the horns” and “Hung like a bull” and “Bull-headed” and “What a load of bull/BS” and “Bullish (aggressively confident)” and “Like a red flag to a bull
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This wasn’t a cowincidence.”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • *kow*→ *cow*: As in, “Don’t cowtow to them.” Note: to kowtow is to bow deeply in a show of respect.
  • *kew*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowpie doll,” and “Cowpie mayonnaise.” Note: Kewpie is both a Japanese brand of mayonnaise and a type of doll.
  • *ka*→ *cow*: As in, Eurecow, vodcow, Alascow, papricow, remarcowble, remarkcowble, and lakcowdaisical.
  • *ca*→ *cow*: As in, “Americow can do better,” and “Circow 1999,” and “A loud advocowte (advocate).” Other suitable words: meccow (mecca), Africow (Africa), orcow (orca), alpacow (alpaca), broadcowst (broadcast), implicowtion (implication), occowsion (occasion), applicowtion (application), indicowtion (indication), and dedicowte (dedicate).
  • *cau*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowt between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Cowt with your pants down,” and ” Err on the side of cowtion,” and “A lost cowse,” and “Throw cowtion to the wind,” and “Wouldn’t be cowt dead.” Other suitable words: cowstic (caustic), cowtious (cautious), cowcasian (caucasian), cowldron (cauldron), becowse (because).
  • *bull*: If a word contains the “bull” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly bull pun: bulldog, bulldozer, bulletins, bullies, bullied, bullion, bullocks, bullwark (bulwark), bullevard (boulevard).
  • Pull→ Bull: As in, “Like bulling teeth,” and “Bulling away,” and “Bull a face,” and “Bull a fast one,” and “Bull up short,” and “Bulling the strings,” and “Bull the pin,” and “Bull your finger out,” and “Bull your socks up,” and “Bull yourself together.”
  • *bal*→ *bull*: As in, “Hanging in the bullance,” and “Bullance the books,” and “A bullpark estimate,” and “Go down like a lead bulloon,” and “Stop eyebulling (eyeballing) me,” and “Go bullistic,” and “What bulloney (baloney),” and “The hairy eyebull.” Other words that would work: bullk (balk), bullot (ballot), globull (global), verbull (verbal), tribull (tribal), cymbull (cymbal), herbull (herbal), and footbull. Notes: to balk is to stop suddenly and not continue.
  • *bel*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullieve it or not,” and “Bullieve you me,” and “Bullow the belt,” and “Hitting bullow your weight,” and “Seeing is bullieving,” and “Suspend your disbullief,” and “Opportunities are seldom labulled,” and “You don’t bullong in business.” Other words that would work: bulligerent (belligerent), bull (bell), bulloved (beloved), labull (label), rebull (rebel), decibull (decibel). Note: to hit below your weight is to perform under expectation.
  • *bil*→ *bull*: As in, “Cut the umbullical cord,” and “Eliminate the possibullities,” and “Take responsibullity.” Other words that would work: bullow (billow), bullboard (billboard), bullion (billion), gerbull (gerbil), liabullity (liability), mobull (mobile), accountabullity (accountability), abullity (ability), capabullity (capability), rehabullitation (rehabilitation), sustainabullity (sustainability).
  • *bol*→ *bull*: As in, “Bulldly go where no man has gone before,” and “Close the stable door after the horse has bullted,” and “Nuts and bullts,” and “Fortune favours the bull-d (bold).” Other words that would work: bullster (bolster), bullocks (bollocks), symbull, gambull (gambol), hyperbulle (hyperbole), abullish (abolish), metabullism. Note: to close the stable door after the horse has bolted is to look after a situation after things have gone badly.
  • *bul*/*bull*: As in, “Bully for you,” and “Buy it in bullk,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “A lightbullb moment.” Other words that can work: bullwark (bulwark), bullb (bulb), bullge (bulge), bullsh*t, nebullous (nebulous), fabullous (fabulous), nebulla (nebula), and vocabullary (vocabulary). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s vague and without clear form.
  • *boul*→ *bull*: As in, “Over the shoulder bullder (boulder) holder,” and “The bullevard (boulevard) of broken dreams.” Note: “over the shoulder boulder holder” is a very cheeky and colloquial term for a bra.
  • *pal*→ *bull*: As in, “A princibull player.” Other “pal” containing words: bullindrome (palindrome), obull (opal), municibull (municipal), archetypebull (archetypal), bullpable (palpable), and bulltry (paltry). Notes: if something is paltry, then it’s a very small amount. A palindrome is a word that is the same forwards and backwards.
  • *pel*→ *bull*: As in, “The gosbull (gospel) truth,” and “Disbulling (dispelling) rumours,” and “My dobullganger (doppelganger).”
  • *pul*→ *bull*: As in, “Keep your finger on the bullse (pulse),” and “Beaten to a bullp,” and “I won’t be manibullated (manipulated) by you.” Other words that could work: bullchritude (pulchritude), bullpit (pulpit), bulley (pulley), bullmonary (pulmonary), bullverise (pulverise), stibullate (stipulate), imbullse (impulse), pobullist (populist), pobullar (popular), combullsory (compulsory), pobullation (population), obullent (opulent). Notes: if something is opulent, it’s luxurious.
  • *pool*→ *bull*: As in, bullside (poolside), sbull (spool), cessbull, whirlbull, and carbull. Notes: a cesspool is an underground reservoir for liquid waste.
  • *poul*→ *bull*: As in, bulltry (poultry), bulltice (poultice), and ambulle (ampoule). Notes: an ampoule is a small sealed container. A poultice is a medicated cloth used to treat aching and inflammation.
  • *ple*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullead (plead) guilty,” and “I bulledge (pledge) my allegiance,” and “What a bulleasure (pleasure).” Other words you could use: bullethora (plethora), bullea (plea), bulleasant (pleasant), bullease (please), and abbull (apple), princibull, peobull (people), simbull (simple), stabull (stable/staple), exambull (example), multibull (multiple), coubull (couple), ambull (ample), combullement (complement), combullex (complex), imbullement (implement), and combullete (complete).
  • Fool→Bull: As in, “A bull and his money are soon parted,” and “Act the bull,” and “Tom bullery (foolery).”
  • *bl* → *bull*terrabull (terrible), admirabull (admirable), assembull (assemble), audibull (audible), bullackmail (blackmail), bibull-iography (bibliography), bull-anket (blanket), bull-asphemy, bull-indfolded, bull-ister, bull-ockbuster, bubulling, Casabullanca, cold-bullooded (or cowld-bullooded), comfortabull, considerabull, concievabull, estabullish, dribull (dribble), fumbull (fumble), gambull, hobbull, grumbull, horribull, disabull (disable), impeccabull, imperceptibull, impossibull, improbabull, inescapabull, inexorabull, inextricabull, interchangabull, irresistabull, justifyabull, memorabull, mumbull, nobull (noble), miserabull, invariabull, irresistabull, interchangabull, predictabull, pro-bull-ems, pub-bull-ication, roadbullock (roadblock), suitabull, unreasonabull, unquestionabull, unavoidabull, understandabull, unbelievabull, tumbulling, trembulling, troubulling, inconcievabull.
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Utter → Udder: As in “Udderly ridiculous!”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Heard → Herd: As in “I overherd them speaking about …” and “The last I herd, …” and “Your herd it here first.” and “You could have herd a pin drop.” and “Stop me if you’ve herd this one”
  • Field: “I’m an expert in my field.”
  • Hey → Hay: As in “Hay, what’s up?” and “Hay there, friend.”
  • Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
  • Who’ve → Hoof: As in “Hoof you spoken to so far?”
  • Half → Hoof: As in “Is the glass hoof full or hoof empty?” and “My other/better hoof
  • Huff → Hoof: As in, “Hoofing paint,” and “A hoofy (huffy) attitude,” and “I belong in Hooflepuff (Hufflepuff),” and “Shoofling away,” and “Shoofling the deck,” and “Feeling choofed (chuffed).” Note: to feel chuffed is to feel very pleased.
  • Half → Hoof: As in, “Ain’t hoof bad,” and “My better hoof,” and “Cheap at hoof the price,” and “Getting there is hoof the fun,” and “Hoof awake.” Other half-related words: hoofway (halfway), hoof-baked, hooftime (halftime), hoofhearted, and behoof (behalf).
  • *hef* → *hoof*: As in, “A hoofty (hefty) promise,” and “Grand Thooft Auto,” and “Identity thooft.”
  • *hif* → *hoof*: As in, “Working in shoofts,” and “A whoof of perfume,” and “Makeshooft tent,” and “Shoofty glances.”
  • Have → Hoof/Hoove: As in, “As luck may hoove it,” and “Hoof your cake and eat it too,” and “Hoove a ball,” and “Hoof a bone to pick,” and “Hoof a go,” and “The walls hoove ears.”
  • *hav* → *hoove*: As in, hoove (have), hooveoc (havoc), behooveiour, aftershoove, and behoove (behave).
  • *hev* → *hoove*: As in, “Looking dishooveled (disheveled).”
  • *hiv* → *hoove*: As in, “In the archooves,” and “Shoovers down my spine,” and “Choovealry (chivalry) is not dead, we just don’t know the meaning of it,” and “A beehoove (beehive) hairstyle.”
  • *hov* → *hoove*: As in, hoover (hover), hoovel (hovel), hoovering (hovering), hoovercraft (hovercraft), shoovel and pushoover.
  • Bye son → Bison: As in “Bison! Your mum will pick you up tonight.”
  • Half → Calf: As in “I’m still calf asleep” and “I’ve got calf a mind to …” and “Calf measures”
  • Coff* → Calf*: As in, “Artisan calffee (coffee),” and “Added to the calffers (coffers),” and “Company calf-founders,” and “Back from the calffin (coffin).”
  • Caf* → Calf*: As in, calfe (cafe), calfeteria (cafeteria), calffeine (caffeine), decalf (decaf), scalffold (scaffold).
  • *cuff* → *calf*: As in, calflink (cufflink), calfed (cuffed), scalffle (scuffle), fisticalfs (fisticuffs), handcalfs (handcuffs).
  • Halves → Calves: As in, “Go calves,” and “Don’t do things by calves.”
  • Have her → Heifer: As in “Heifer parents found out yet?”
  • Forever → For heifer: As in “For heifer and heifer.”
  • Tail: Use these tail-related phrases: “Happy as a dog with two tails,” and “Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” and “Bright eyed and busy tailed,” and “Can’t make head or tail of it,” and “Chase your own tail,” and “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” Note: two shakes of a lamb’s tail is a phrase used to indicated that something is very fast.
  • Tale → Tail: As in, “Dead men tell no tails,” and “Fairytail ending,” and “Live to tell the tail,” and “Never tell tails out of school,” and “An old wives’ tail,” and “Tattle tail,” and “Tell tail sign.”
  • Talent → Tailent: As in, “___’s got Tailent,” and “A tailented painter,” and “Where would you say your tailents lie?”
  • Toilet → Tailet: As in, “Down the tailet,” and “In the tailet.”
  • Style → Stail: As in, hairstail, freestail, lifestail, and stailus (stylus)
  • Tile → Tail: As in, fertail (fertile), percerntail (percentile), projectail (projectile), reptail (reptile), and versatail (versatile).
  • Her before → Herbivore: As in “I’ve never met herbivore.”
  • Passed/Past your → Pasture: As in “It’s just pasture house on the left.” and “I pasture stall at the fair today but you weren’t there.” and “It’s pasture bedtime.”
  • Could → Cud: As in “Cud you stop it please?” and “As fast as her legs cud carry her” and “I cud do it in my sleep.”
  • Man you’re → Manure: As in “Manure making some awful puns today.”
  • Remnant → Ruminant: As in “I haven’t a ruminant of pride left after making all these terrible cow puns.” (A “ruminant” is a family of hoofed mammals comprising cows, sheep, deer, giraffe and their relatives)
  • Prominent → Pruminant: As in “She’s a pruminant member of our group.”
  • Permanent → Pruminant: As in “I’ve accidentally used pruminant marker on the whiteboard.”
  • Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
  • Go to sleep → Hit the hay: As in “It’s late. I better hit the hay.”

Cow-Related Words

Here are a few cow-related words to help you come up with your own cow puns:

moo, bovine, heifer, bison, manure, udder, ruminant, calf, calves, pasture, grass, oxen, bull, domesticated, buffalo, hoof, hooves, horns, herd, cloven hoof, herbivore, cow patty, hay, cud, manure

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