Milk Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on milk puns! 🥛🌱

Milk is loved both as a drink on its own, and as an addition to (or a base for) other drinks like coffee, hot chocolate, and milkshakes. It’s also popular as a condiment of sorts, with many dipping chocolates or cookies (or biscuits, depending where you are in the world) in their milk.

Unfortunately, the industry that produces milk is not so wholesome – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of dairy-free milk options (sometimes called “mylk”) that we can enjoy instead.

Apart from the taste, a lot of people are convinced of the health benefits of milk, the main one being calcium. Not only does a glass of milk have less calcium than we might initially think (less than a bowl of spinach or kale), but our ability to digest and actually benefit from the calcium in milk is debatable. There are plenty of other foods that we can derive our daily calcium from.

Whether you’re here for a witty instagram caption, a quick one-liner for your tinder date or facebook argument, we hope that you find the milk pun that you need.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cow puns, cheese puns, ice cream puns and coffee puns, and have chocolate and cereal puns coming soon too!

Milk Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about milk that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of milk puns:

  • Utter → Udder: As in, “Udderly inconsiderate.”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Milk: These milk-related phrases are general enough to work as puns: “Mild as milk” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk” and “Land of milk and honey” and “Milk dry” and “Milk it for all it’s worth” and “Why buy the cow when the milk is free?”
  • Note: all of these milk puns could also work for “mylk”, which is the term for non-dairy milks (or mylks!)
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This was no cowincidence.”
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntry,  cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dary → *dairy: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • *dery → *dairy: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • *deri* → *dairy*: dairyve (derive), dairyvative (derivative), dairysion (derision) and dairysive (derisive). Note: if something is derivative, then it’s based on something else.
  • Mikayla → Milkayla
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Past your eyes → Pasteurize: This one is very specific! “Don’t blink! It’ll go pasteurize in a second.” Note: pasteurization is a sterilisation process.
  • Lack those → Lactose: As in, “I can’t drink milk as I lactose enzymes required to digest it.” Note: lactose is a sugar found in milk, which many people aren’t able to digest or tolerate.
  • Litre: In some countries, milk is sold in litres/liters, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Later → Litre: As in, “Buy now, pay litre” and “Catch you litre” and “It’s litre than you think” and “Sooner or litre” and “Can we continue this litre?”
    • Letter → Litre: As in, “Four litre word” and “Chain litre” and “Litre perfect” and “Litre to the editor” and “To the litre” and “I’ll send you a litre.”
    • Lighter → Litre: As in, “The litre way to enjoy chocolate” and “Feeling litre than air” and “Litre than a feather” and “Feeling litre than before.”
    • *liter* → *litre*: As in, “Yes, I meant that litreally” and “It’s all in the litreature” and “Don’t have to be so litreal about it” and “Litreacy rates across America.” Other words you could use: litreate (literate), oblitreate (obliterate) and illitreate (illiterate).
    • Collateral → Collitre-al: As in, “Collitre-al damage.”
    • *lete → *litre: As in, “You’ve made a complitre mess of it” and “That product is obsolitre” and “Deplitred (depleted) funds” and “Delitre the files” and “Built like an athlitre.” Other words that could work: replitre (replete), incomplitre (incomplete) and complitrely (completely).
  • Lait: “Lait” is French for milk, and is a common word in the coffee-drinking community (as in, “cafe au lait”). Here are a few silly puns that involve the word “lait”:
    • Late → Lait: Lait is actually pronounced without the “t” at the end, so this isn’t a perfect pun but it can still work quite well: “Better lait than never” and “Buy now, pay laiter” and “Fashionably lait” and “A day lait and a dollar short” and “It’s never too lait” and “A lait bloomer” and “Lait in the day/game” and “Running lait.”
    • Lay → Lait: As in, “Couldn’t lait a finger on” and “Lait a trap” and “Lait down roots” and “Lait eyes on” and “Lait down your arms.”
    • *lay* → *lait*: As in, “Let’s plait!” and “Could you relait the situation?” and “On full displait” and “Unforseen delaits (delays)” and “An ornate jade inlait” and “It’s okay to hate the plaiter (player) AND the game.” Other words: waylait (waylay) and slait (slay).
    • *ly → *lait: As in, “A familait (family) matter” and “A full assemblait (assembly)” and “Yes, probablait.” Other words that could work: arguablait (arguably), inevitablait (inevitably), presumablait (presumably), notablait (notably), possiblait (possibly), bubblait (bubbly), publiclait (publicly), friendlait (friendly), hardlait (hardly), badlait (badly) and kindlait (kindly).
  • Pint: Some countries still sell milk measured in pints, so we’ve included some pint-related puns here:
    • Point → Pint: As in, “At this pint in time” and “Beside the pint” and “Brownie pints” and “Drive your pint home” and “Get right to the pint” and “Jumping off pint” and “Not to put too fine a pint on it” and “I see your pint of view” and “Pint out” and “Pint the finger at” and “A talking pint” and “The sticking pint” and “Case in pint” and “The finer pints of” and “The pint of no return.”
    • Pants → Pints: As in, “Ants in their pints” and “Beat the pints off” and “By the seat of your pints” and “Fancy pints” and “Keep your pints on” and “Pints on fire” and “Smarty pints.”
    • Pent → Pint: As in, “Pint up rage.”
    • Pin → Pint: As in, “Bright/clean/neat as a new pint” and “Hard to pint down” and “Pint your ears back” and “Pint the tail on the donkey.”
    •  *pet* → *pint*: As in, “Don’t use that pintulant (petulant) tone with me” and “Perpintual motion machine” and “A compintent (competent) worker.” Other words: impintus (impetus), compintition (competition) and compintence (competence). Note: an impetus is something that compels or encourages you to do something.
    • *pant* → *pint*: As in, “Nothing in the pintry” and “Pinting with fear” and “Disease is rampint” and “A flippint attitude.” Other words that could work: pintomime (pantomime), participint (participant) and occupint (occupant).
    • *pent* → *pint*: As in, “Pinthouse suite” and “Repint for your sins!” Other words: serpint (serpent), pintagram (pentagram) and carpinter (carpenter).
    • Paint → Pint: As in, “A lick of pint” and “A picture pints a thousand words” and “As boring as watching pint dry” and “Body pinting” and “Do I have to pint you a picture?” and “Finger pinting” and “Pint the town red” and “Pinting by numbers.”
  • Skim: Skim milk is where all of the cream is removed from whole milk, and is very low in fat. Here are some skim milk puns:
    • Scam → Skim: As in, “Skim artist.”
    • Slim → Skim: As in, “Skim pickings” and “The real skim shady.”
    • Swim → Skim: As in, “Sink or skim” and “Going skimmingly” and “Skim against the tide” and “Skim with sharks” and “Skim upstream.”
    • Scum → Skim: This is a bit of a stretch but can still work, as in: “Pond skim” and “Skim always rises to the surface.”
  • Cream: Cream is the part of milk that determines the fat content, and “full cream” is another type of milk, so we’ve included cream puns here for you:
    • Cram → Cream: “Creamed with fresh fruits and berries.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *cram* → *cream*: We can swap “cram” sounds for “cream”, like so: “Creamping my style” and “Foot creamp” and “Screambled eggs on toast” and “Holy sacreament.” Note: a sacrament is a sacred act.
  • Whole: Whole milk is the term for milk that hasn’t had anything removed from it (like fat). Here are some wholly bad puns for you to use in reference to it:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Fire in the whole!” and “A whole in one” and “Whole in the wall” and “Wholed up” and “Picking wholes in.”
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “Please whole’d the line” and “A whole-istic healing approach” and “Whole-low inside” and “On wholeiday” and “A wholey (holy) offering” and “Beauty is in the eye of the bewholeder” and “Alcowhole content” and “Menth-whole flavoured” and “Crossing the thresh-whole‘d (threshold).”
  • Hi-Lo: Hi-lo (or HiLo) milk is reduced fat – so “high in calcium, low in fat.” Here are some related puns:
    • Hello → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo, big boy” and “You had me at hi-lo” and “Hi-lo hi-lo, what’s going on here then?”
    • Hollow → Hi-lo: As in, “Hi-lo eyed” and “A hi-lo goodbye.”
  • Sour: Sour milk is a common enough phenomenon for us to include here:
    • *sar* → *sour*: As in, “A sourdonic (sardonic) reply” and “Sourcasm isn’t helpful” and “No need to be sourcastic” and “Caesour salad” and “That’s not necessoury” and “Wedding anniversoury” and “A strong adversoury” and “Read the glossoury.” Note: to be sardonic is to be mocking or cynical.
    • *ser* → *sour*: As in, “At your sourvice” and “A sourious conversation” and “Filled with peace and sourenity” and “Close your browsour tabs” and “Brings us closour together” and “Teasour trailer.”
    • *sor* → *sour*: As in, “Filled with sourrow” and “What sourcery is this!” and “I’m sourry” and “I don’t need the sourdid details” and “Trip advisour” and “University professour.” Other words that could work: sponsour (sponsor), supervisour (supervisor), processour (processor), censour (censor) and consourtium (consortium). Note: a consortium is business partnership, or an association between institutions.
    • *sur* → *sour*: As in, “A quick sourvey” and “A sourreal situation” and “As far as I can sourmise” and “On the sourface” and “Recovering from sourgery” and “Sourrogate mother” and “What a sourprise.”
  • Farm: Since milk is from farms, we’ve got some farm-related puns here. We’d also like to note that while happy cows being milked by hand on a friendly farm is a nice idea, that is not how farms (even free-range ones) operate.
    • Firm → Farm: As in, “Farmly planted” and “A farm tone of voice.”
    • Form → Farm: As in, “Defence is the best farm of offence” and “Bad farm” and “Farm follows function” and “Free farm” and “Imitation is the sincerest farm of flattery” and “In fine farm” and “The lowest farm of wit” and “Not in any way, shape or farm” and “Take farm” and “True to farm.”
    • From → Farm: As in, “A little farm column a, a little farm column b” and “A week farm next Tuesday” and “Farm a nice place” and “Come in farm the cold” and “Cut farm the same cloth” and “Fall farm grace” and “Farm a mile away” and “Farm a to z” and “Farm cover to cover” and “You’ll have to pry it farm my cold, dead hands” and “Farm soup to nuts” and “With love, farm…”
    • Charm → Farm: As in, “Farm the birds out of the trees” and “A farmed life” and “Southern farm” and “Third time’s a farm” and “Works like a farm.”
    • *fam* → *farm*: As in, “Friends and farmily” and “Seems farmiliar” and “Almost farmous” and “40 hour farmine” and “I’m farmished!” Other words: infarmy (infamy), infarmous (infamous) and defarmation (defamation). Note: infamy is a reputation (or fame) or evil.
    • Harm → Farm: As in, “First, do no farm” and “Grievous bodily farm” and “In farm’s way” and “No farm done” and “No farm, no foul.”
    • Infomercial → Infarmercial
    • *form* → *farm*: farmidable (formidable), farmula (formula), farmer (former), farmat (format), farmal (formal), farmation (formation), farmative (formative), farmality (formality), confarm (conform), infarm (inform), platfarm (platform), transfarm (transform), perfarm (perform), unifarm (uniform), infarmation (information) and perfarmance (performance).
    • Pharmacy → Farmacy
  • Spoil: If milk is off/expired, it’s referred to as spoiled, so here are some related puns:
    • Boil → Spoil: As in, “Spoiling with rage” and “It all spoils down to” and “Bring to the spoil” and “A watched pot never spoils” and “Spoil over.”
    • Spell → Spoil: As in, “How do you spoil…” and “You’ll have to spoil it out” and “Be under [someone’s] spoil” and “Break the spoil.”
    • Spill → Spoil: As in, “Spoil the beans” and “Spoil your guts” and “Thrills and spoils.”
    • Gospel → Gospoil: As in, “The gospoil truth.”
  • Choc: We all love choc milk, so it’s earned a place in this list. Choc milk is so popular that you may get away with using just the word “choc” as a reference to milk (here’s a nice chocolate milk recipe for you to try as well):
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Shake: Since milkshakes are such a popular milk drink, you may get away with using “shake” to refer to “milkshakes” in your wordplay:
    • Shock → Shake: As in, “Culture shake” and “In for a shake” and “In shake” and “Shell-shaked” and “Shake and awe.”
    • Ache → Shake: As in, “Old shakes and pains” and “Splitting headshake.”
    • Sake → Shake: As in, “For heaven’s/goodness shake” and “For old time’s shake.”
  • Kefir: Kefir is a fairly recent probiotic, milk-based drink. Here are some related puns:
    • Key for → Kefir: “This is the kefir the back door.”
    • Keep her → Kefir: “Being able to draw helps kefir spirits up.”
  • Soy milk: Soy milk is perhaps the most widespread (and cheap) non-dairy milk available and comes in different flavours. Here are some related puns:
      • So → Soy: As in, “Soy on and soy forth” and “I wouldn’t go soy far as to…” and “How soy?” and “If I do say soy myself” and “Not soy fast!” and “Soy be it” and “Soy long as” and “Soy much for” and “Soy there.”
      • *sey* → *soy*: As in, “An epic odyssoy” and “Hit the bullsoy.”
      • Say → Soy: As in, “As the soying goes” and “Before you could soy anything” and “Computer soys no” and “Do as I soy, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it soys on the tin” and “Have a soy” and “My final soy” and “I’m hearing what you soy” and “Just soy the word” and “Needless to soy” and “Never soy never” and “Soy a few words” and “Soy goodnight” and “Soy it, don’t spray it” and “Soy what you mean” and “As I was soying” and “If I do soy so myself” and “Soy again?” and “To soy nothing of” and “To soy the least.”
      • Thesaurus → Thesoyrus
      • *so* → *soy*: espressoy (espresso), virtuosoy (virtuoso), esoyteric (esoteric), philosoyphy (philosophy), resoylution (resolution), soylution (solution), soyphisticated (sophisticated) and soydium (sodium).
  • Almond milk: As almond milk is another popular type of milk, we’ve got some almond puns here too (and here’s a popular almond milk brand):
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Rice milk: Another readily available dairy-free milk option which we’ve included a few puns for here:
    • Raise → Rice: As in, “Rice a stink” and “Rice hell” and “Rice the bar” and “Rice the roof.”
    • Race → Rice: As in, “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rice to the bottom” and “Rat rice.”
  • Owed → Oat: As in, “Give me what I am oat!” Note: this is a reference to oat milk.
  • Contents → Condensed: As in, “Let me check the condensed” and “Have you read the condensed section?” and “Home and condensed insurance.” Note: this is a reference to condensed milk.
  • Case in → Casein: “Casein point.” Note: casein is a protein found in milk and dairy products.
  • Curdle: If milk is really off, it can curdle. Here are some terrible and related puns:
    • Hurdle → Curdle: “Fall at the last curdle” and “Clearing all the curdles.”
    • Could → Curd: As in, “Fast as his legs curd carry him” and “Curdn’t care less” and “I curd do it in my sleep” and “Curd see you a mile off” and “Curdn’t believe it” and “If looks curd kill” and “It curd be you next” and “Curd never let you go” and “Curd have heard a pin drop” and “Curd have knocked me down with a feather.”
    • Card → Curd: As in, “Calling curd” and “Curd up your sleeve” and “Deck of curds” and “Get out of jail free curd” and “Holding all the curds” and “House of curds” and “Lay your curds on the table” and “On the curds” and “Play your curds right.”
  • Breast: Well, this is where milk comes from, so it seemed wrong to not include breast puns (keep ’em respectful) here too:
    • Best → Breast: As in, “All the breast” and “Be the breast” and “Breast friends forever” and “Breast in show” and “Breast of all” and “Breast practice” and “Bring out the breast in me” and “Doing what we do breast” and “Honesty is the breast policy” and “Hope for the breast” and “Living well is the breast revenge” and “Nothing but the breast” and “On your breast behaviour.”
    • Pressed → Breast: As in, “Breast for time/money.”
    • *best* → *breast*: As in, “The greatest honour I could breastow” and “Breastselling novel.”
    • *pressed* → *breast*: As in, “Deeply imbreast (impressed)” and “Subbreast (suppressed) feelings” and “I exbreast (expressed) my emotions to her” and “An unimbreast (unimpressed) tone.”
    • Prestige → Breastige
  • Memory → Mammary: As in, “Down mammary lane” and “In living mammary” and “Mammary lapse” and “Mammary like a sieve” and “Thanks for the mammaries.” Note: mammaries are the milk-secreting organs in breasts.

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits.

Milk-Related Words

To help you come up with your own milk puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

milk, cow, udder, dairy, litre, pint, skim, full, cream, full cream, whole, hi-lo, lowfat, pasteurised, homogenised, UHT, lactose, farm, chocolate, strawberry, banana, milkshake, kefir, soy, almond, coconut, hazelnut, macadamia, rice, oat, leche, lait, rotten, spoiled, expired, lactate, evaporated, condensed, sour, mylk, goat, sheep, yak, buffalo, curdled, casein, breast

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Goat Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on goat puns! 🐐 The list starts with a few goat-related sayings, and then lots of puns based around “got”, “get”, “go”, etc. and then a bunch based on goat-related words like “hoof” and “ruminant”. Whether you need a silly caption for your photo, some puns for your goat-themed party, or whatever else, I hope this list is useful to you! 🙂

If you’re interested in other four-legged mammals, you might also like to have a look at our horse puns, camel puns, llama puns or alpaca puns.

Goat Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about goats that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of goat puns:

  • Goat: There are a couple of phrases and idioms related to goats which can be used as goat puns: “Sorry, I didn’t mean to get your goat (annoy you)” and “Separate the sheep from the goats” and “Play the goat (act silly)” and “Act the giddy goat” and “Old goat” and “Goatie
  • Scapegoat: This term refers to someone who is unfairly blamed for the mistakes and wrongdoings of others.
  • Got → Goat: As in “You have goat to be kidding me” and “I haven’t goat all day” and “Cat goat your tongue?” and “Goat it in one!” and “Goat me stumped” and “Goat to get moving” and “Goat to run” and “(Someone) has goat game” and “Something’s goat to give” and “The one that goat away” and “You goat it!” and “You’ve goat another thing coming” and “You’ve goat me there” and “You’ve goat to do what you’ve goat to do.”
  • Get → Goat: As in “Couldn’t goat a word in edgewise” and “Better goat moving” and “You’d better goat used to it” and “I can’t goat enough” and “Come and goat it!” and “Just trying to goat by” and “Don’t goat me wrong” and “Don’t goat me started” and “From the goat-go (get-go)” and “Goating mixed signals” and “Goat my foot in the door” and “Goat your knickers in a twist” and “Goat your sh*t together” and “I goat a buzz out of it” and “Goat a fix” and “Goat a hurry on” and “Goat a leg up” and “Goat a life!” and “Goat a load of that!” and “Goat a toehold” and “Goat your act together” and “Goat your arse in gear” and “Goat away with murder” and “Goat down to work” and “Goat from A to B” and “Goat into an argument” and “Goat it together” and “Goat off my back/tail!” and “Goat off scot-free” and “Goat on like a house on fire”.
  • Gait / Gate → Goat
  • Egotistical → Egoatistical
  • *goat*: If a word contains the sound “got”, “get”, “gat” or anything vaguely close to “goat”, we can make a terrible goat pun out of it: alligoator (alligator), derogoatory (derogatory), congregoat (congregate), forgoatten (forgotten), goatway (gateway), goatkeeper (gatekeeper), Bill Goats (Bill Gates), delegoated (delegated), forgoatful (forgetful), goatarist (guitarist), goat-together (get-together), interrogoat (interrogate), instigoat (instigate), investigoative (investigative), investigoator (investigator), mitigoat (mitigate), navigoat (navigate), prerogoative (prerogative), obligoatory (obligatory), negoative (negative), propagoat (propagate), surrogoat (surrogate), unforgoatable (unforgettaable), watergoat (watergate), segregoated (segregated).
  • *go* → *goat*: Some very silly goat puns can be made by replacing the “go” sound with “goat”: archipelagoat (archipelago), egoatcentric (egocentric), negoatiate (negotiate), flamingoat (flamingo), embargoat (embargo), goatsts (ghosts), Galapagoats (Galapagos), undergoats (undergoes), goatness (goodness).
  • Butt: This can refer to “butting heads” (like horned goats do) or to the bottom/bum, so there’s the potential for a silly pun here.
  • Utter → Udder: As in “Udderly ridiculous!”
  • Heard → Herd: As in “I overherd them speaking about …” and “The last I herd, …” and “Your herd it here first.” and “You could have herd a pin drop.” and “Stop me if you’ve herd this one”
  • Field: “I’m an expert in my field.”
  • Hey → Hay: As in “Hay, what’s up?” and “Hay there, friend.”
  • Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
  • Who’ve → Hoof: As in “Hoof you spoken to so far?”
  • Half → Hoof: As in “Is the glass hoof full or hoof empty?” and “My other/better hoof
  • Huff → Hoof: As in, “Hoofing paint,” and “A hoofy (huffy) attitude,” and “I belong in Hooflepuff (Hufflepuff),” and “Shoofling away,” and “Shoofling the deck,” and “Feeling choofed (chuffed).” Note: to feel chuffed is to feel very pleased.
  • Half → Hoof: As in, “Ain’t hoof bad,” and “My better hoof,” and “Cheap at hoof the price,” and “Getting there is hoof the fun,” and “Hoof awake.” Other half-related words: hoofway (halfway), hoof-baked, hooftime (halftime), hoofhearted, and behoof (behalf).
  • *hef* → *hoof*: As in, “A hoofty (hefty) promise,” and “Grand Thooft Auto,” and “Identity thooft.”
  • *hif* → *hoof*: As in, “Working in shoofts,” and “A whoof of perfume,” and “Makeshooft tent,” and “Shoofty glances.”
  • Have → Hoof/Hoove: As in, “As luck may hoove it,” and “Hoof your cake and eat it too,” and “Hoove a ball,” and “Hoof a bone to pick,” and “Hoof a go,” and “The walls hoove ears.”
  • *hav* → *hoove*: As in, hoove (have), hooveoc (havoc), behooveiour, aftershoove, and behoove (behave).
  • *hev* → *hoove*: As in, “Looking dishooveled (disheveled).”
  • *hiv* → *hoove*: As in, “In the archooves,” and “Shoovers down my spine,” and “Choovealry (chivalry) is not dead, we just don’t know the meaning of it,” and “A beehoove (beehive) hairstyle.”
  • *hov* → *hoove*: As in, hoover (hover), hoovel (hovel), hoovering (hovering), hoovercraft (hovercraft), shoovel and pushoover.
  • Tail: Use these tail-related phrases: “Happy as a dog with two tails,” and “Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” and “Bright eyed and busy tailed,” and “Can’t make head or tail of it,” and “Chase your own tail,” and “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” Note: two shakes of a lamb’s tail is a phrase used to indicated that something is very fast.
  • Tale → Tail: As in, “Dead men tell no tails,” and “Fairytail ending,” and “Live to tell the tail,” and “Never tell tails out of school,” and “An old wives’ tail,” and “Tattle tail,” and “Tell tail sign.”
  • Talent → Tailent: As in, “___’s got Tailent,” and “A tailented painter,” and “Where would you say your tailents lie?”
  • Toilet → Tailet: As in, “Down the tailet,” and “In the tailet.”
  • Style → Stail: As in, hairstail, freestail, lifestail, and stailus (stylus)
  • Tile → Tail: As in, fertail (fertile), percerntail (percentile), projectail (projectile), reptail (reptile), and versatail (versatile).
  • *fur*: Use these fur-related/containing phrases in your wordplay: “Couldn’t be further from the truth,” and “Moving furniture,” and “A furtive manner,” and “And furthermore..” and “A roaring furnace,” and “Blind fury,” and “Fast and Furious,” and “Furnishing the truth.”
  • Far → Fur: As in, “A step too fur,” and “As fur as it goes,” and “As fur as the eye can see,” and “A fur cry,” and “Few and fur between,” and “Over the hills and fur away,” and “So fur, so good,” and “As fur as I know.” Other suitable “far” containing words: furm (farm), furwell (farewell), furt (fart), further (farther), insofur (insofar), nefurious (nefarious), welfur and furce (farce).
  • *fer* → *fur*: As in, “A offur you can’t refuse,” and “I beg to diffur,” and “Make a diffurence,” and “Marching to the beat of a diffurent drum,” and “Offur condolences.” Other “fer” containing words that you could use: furn (fern), fural (feral), furvent (fervent), furvor (fervor), furret (ferret), furment (ferment), furocious, furtile, furrule (ferrule), defur (defer), confur, infur, refur, offur, transfur, buffur, prefur, proffur, refurence, confurence and transfurence.
  • *fir* → *fur*: “At furst,” and “At furst blush,” and “A furm handshake.” Other suitable words: affurm, confurm, affurmation and affurmative.
  • *for* → *fur*: As in, “A furce to be reckoned with,” and “Good furm (form),” and “Move furwards,” and “Why have you fursaken me?” and “The furcast for tomorrow,” and “So on and so furth,” and “Furbidden fruit.” Other words that would work: perfurmance, infurmation, therefur, fursight (foresight) and fursee.
  • Fear* → Fur*: As in: furful, furless, fursome and furmonger.
  • *feur* → *fur*: As in: chauffur and coiffur. Note: a coiffeur is a hairdresser.
  • Four* → Fur*: As in: fur (four), furth (fourth), furteen, furty (forty) and fursome (foursome).
  • *phor* → *fur*: As in, “A useless metafur,” and “Giddy eufuria (euphoria).” Other words that could be used: camfur (camphor), phosfur, dysfuria (dysphoria) and semafur (semaphore). Note: semaphore is a system of signs.
  • *pher* → *fur*: As in, “You’re indecifurable,” and “I’m not your gofur (gopher),” and “The wedding photografur,” and “The barefoot philosofur.” Other words that could work: furomone (pheromone), cifur (cipher), philosofur (philosopher), cinematografur, perifural (peripheral), cartografur, atmosfur (atmosphere), sfur (sphere), parafurnalia (paraphernalia), perifury (periphery), hemisfur (hemisphere).
  • Sephiroth → Sepfuroth: Note: Sephiroth is a much-loved character from the Final Fantasy game franchise.
  • *phar* → *fur*: Change the “phar” in certain words to “fur” to make terrible goat puns: furmacy (pharmacy), furaoh (pharaoh), furmacist (pharmacist), furmacology (pharmacology).
  • *phe* → *fur*: As in, “Natural furnomenon (phenomenon),” and “A furnomenal mistake.” Other words that would work: furseant (pheasant), eufurmism (euphemism), blasfurmy (blasphemy).
  • *phere* → *fur*: As in, atmosfur (atmosphere), hemisfur (hemisphere), biosfur (biosphere), stratosfur (stratosphere), and troposfur (troposphere). Note: the troposphere is the lowest layer of the Earth’s atmosphere.
  • Coat: Use these coat-related phrases in your mammalian wordplay: “Coat-tail investing,” and “Don’t forget your raincoat,” and “Ride on someone’s coat-tails.” Some coat-related words: petticoat, turncoat, overcoat, sugarcoat, waistcoat and peacoat.
  • Belt → Pelt: As in, “Below the pelt,” and “Pelt it out,” and “Buckle your seat pelts,” and “Tighten your pelt,” and “Under your pelt,” and “A notch in someone’s pelt.”
  • *pelt*: As in: spelt and misspelt.
  • Her before → Herbivore: As in “I’ve never met herbivore.”
  • Passed/Past your → Pasture: As in “It’s just pasture house on the left.” and “I pasture stall at the fair today but you weren’t there.” and “It’s pasture bedtime.”
  • Could → Cud: As in “Cud you stop it please?” and “As fast as her legs cud carry her” and “I cud do it in my sleep.”
  • Man you’re → Manure: As in “Manure making some awful puns today.”
  • Remnent → Ruminant: As in “I haven’t a ruminant of pride left after making all these terrible goat puns.” (A “ruminant” is a family of hooved mammals comprising goats, sheep, cows, deer, giraffe and their relatives)
  • Prominent → Pruminant: As in “She’s a pruminant member of our group.”
  • Permanent → Pruminant: As in “I’ve accidentally used pruminant marker on the whiteboard.”
  • Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
  • Go to sleep → Hit the hay: As in “It’s late. I better hit the hay.”

Goat-Related Words

Here’s a list of goat-related concepts to help you come up with your own goat puns:

hoof, beard, ruminant, udder, butt, herd, horns, domesticated, bleat, capricorn, kid, billy goat, angora, nanny goat, cashmere, hircine, caprine, doe, buck, mountain goat, faun, goral, scapegoat, satyr, goatee, markhor, cloven hooves, serow, graze, grazing, pasture, field, herbivore, hay

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

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Cow Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cow puns! 🐮🐄 The list contains bull puns, calf puns, udder puns, and quite a few others based around cow-related topics, but this entry is a work-in-progress, so please help us by submitting more puns in the comments at the bottom 🙂

As always, Punpedia does its best to be a cruelty-free site, so we won’t be including any jokes or puns about branding, slaughtering, or bull-fighting. While we do have lists on dairy products (see our cheese puns and milk puns), we encourage everyone to learn about the dairy industry. Check out how cool cows are (it’s a video), and enjoy the puns!

Cow Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cows that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of cow puns:

  • Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “How now, brown cow?” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
  • Bull: Likewise, there are several idioms/phrases that are easy bull puns: “A cock-and-bull story” and “Like a bull in a china shop” and “Bull-headed” and “Grab the bull by its horns” and “Full of bull” and “Bull’s-eye” and “Mess with the bull and you get the horns” and “Hung like a bull” and “Bull-headed” and “What a load of bull/BS” and “Bullish (aggressively confident)” and “Like a red flag to a bull
  • Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
  • Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
  • Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
  • Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This wasn’t a cowincidence.”
  • *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
  • Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
  • *kow*→ *cow*: As in, “Don’t cowtow to them.” Note: to kowtow is to bow deeply in a show of respect.
  • *kew*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowpie doll,” and “Cowpie mayonnaise.” Note: Kewpie is both a Japanese brand of mayonnaise and a type of doll.
  • *ka*→ *cow*: As in, Eurecow, vodcow, Alascow, papricow, remarcowble, remarkcowble, and lakcowdaisical.
  • *ca*→ *cow*: As in, “Americow can do better,” and “Circow 1999,” and “A loud advocowte (advocate).” Other suitable words: meccow (mecca), Africow (Africa), orcow (orca), alpacow (alpaca), broadcowst (broadcast), implicowtion (implication), occowsion (occasion), applicowtion (application), indicowtion (indication), and dedicowte (dedicate).
  • *cau*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowt between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Cowt with your pants down,” and ” Err on the side of cowtion,” and “A lost cowse,” and “Throw cowtion to the wind,” and “Wouldn’t be cowt dead.” Other suitable words: cowstic (caustic), cowtious (cautious), cowcasian (caucasian), cowldron (cauldron), becowse (because).
  • *bull*: If a word contains the “bull” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly bull pun: bulldog, bulldozer, bulletins, bullies, bullied, bullion, bullocks, bullwark (bulwark), bullevard (boulevard).
  • Pull→ Bull: As in, “Like bulling teeth,” and “Bulling away,” and “Bull a face,” and “Bull a fast one,” and “Bull up short,” and “Bulling the strings,” and “Bull the pin,” and “Bull your finger out,” and “Bull your socks up,” and “Bull yourself together.”
  • *bal*→ *bull*: As in, “Hanging in the bullance,” and “Bullance the books,” and “A bullpark estimate,” and “Go down like a lead bulloon,” and “Stop eyebulling (eyeballing) me,” and “Go bullistic,” and “What bulloney (baloney),” and “The hairy eyebull.” Other words that would work: bullk (balk), bullot (ballot), globull (global), verbull (verbal), tribull (tribal), cymbull (cymbal), herbull (herbal), and footbull. Notes: to balk is to stop suddenly and not continue.
  • *bel*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullieve it or not,” and “Bullieve you me,” and “Bullow the belt,” and “Hitting bullow your weight,” and “Seeing is bullieving,” and “Suspend your disbullief,” and “Opportunities are seldom labulled,” and “You don’t bullong in business.” Other words that would work: bulligerent (belligerent), bull (bell), bulloved (beloved), labull (label), rebull (rebel), decibull (decibel). Note: to hit below your weight is to perform under expectation.
  • *bil*→ *bull*: As in, “Cut the umbullical cord,” and “Eliminate the possibullities,” and “Take responsibullity.” Other words that would work: bullow (billow), bullboard (billboard), bullion (billion), gerbull (gerbil), liabullity (liability), mobull (mobile), accountabullity (accountability), abullity (ability), capabullity (capability), rehabullitation (rehabilitation), sustainabullity (sustainability).
  • *bol*→ *bull*: As in, “Bulldly go where no man has gone before,” and “Close the stable door after the horse has bullted,” and “Nuts and bullts,” and “Fortune favours the bull-d (bold).” Other words that would work: bullster (bolster), bullocks (bollocks), symbull, gambull (gambol), hyperbulle (hyperbole), abullish (abolish), metabullism. Note: to close the stable door after the horse has bolted is to look after a situation after things have gone badly.
  • *bul*/*bull*: As in, “Bully for you,” and “Buy it in bullk,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “A lightbullb moment.” Other words that can work: bullwark (bulwark), bullb (bulb), bullge (bulge), bullsh*t, nebullous (nebulous), fabullous (fabulous), nebulla (nebula), and vocabullary (vocabulary). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s vague and without clear form.
  • *boul*→ *bull*: As in, “Over the shoulder bullder (boulder) holder,” and “The bullevard (boulevard) of broken dreams.” Note: “over the shoulder boulder holder” is a very cheeky and colloquial term for a bra.
  • *pal*→ *bull*: As in, “A princibull player.” Other “pal” containing words: bullindrome (palindrome), obull (opal), municibull (municipal), archetypebull (archetypal), bullpable (palpable), and bulltry (paltry). Notes: if something is paltry, then it’s a very small amount. A palindrome is a word that is the same forwards and backwards.
  • *pel*→ *bull*: As in, “The gosbull (gospel) truth,” and “Disbulling (dispelling) rumours,” and “My dobullganger (doppelganger).”
  • *pul*→ *bull*: As in, “Keep your finger on the bullse (pulse),” and “Beaten to a bullp,” and “I won’t be manibullated (manipulated) by you.” Other words that could work: bullchritude (pulchritude), bullpit (pulpit), bulley (pulley), bullmonary (pulmonary), bullverise (pulverise), stibullate (stipulate), imbullse (impulse), pobullist (populist), pobullar (popular), combullsory (compulsory), pobullation (population), obullent (opulent). Notes: if something is opulent, it’s luxurious.
  • *pool*→ *bull*: As in, bullside (poolside), sbull (spool), cessbull, whirlbull, and carbull. Notes: a cesspool is an underground reservoir for liquid waste.
  • *poul*→ *bull*: As in, bulltry (poultry), bulltice (poultice), and ambulle (ampoule). Notes: an ampoule is a small sealed container. A poultice is a medicated cloth used to treat aching and inflammation.
  • *ple*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullead (plead) guilty,” and “I bulledge (pledge) my allegiance,” and “What a bulleasure (pleasure).” Other words you could use: bullethora (plethora), bullea (plea), bulleasant (pleasant), bullease (please), and abbull (apple), princibull, peobull (people), simbull (simple), stabull (stable/staple), exambull (example), multibull (multiple), coubull (couple), ambull (ample), combullement (complement), combullex (complex), imbullement (implement), and combullete (complete).
  • Fool→Bull: As in, “A bull and his money are soon parted,” and “Act the bull,” and “Tom bullery (foolery).”
  • *bl* → *bull*terrabull (terrible), admirabull (admirable), assembull (assemble), audibull (audible), bullackmail (blackmail), bibull-iography (bibliography), bull-anket (blanket), bull-asphemy, bull-indfolded, bull-ister, bull-ockbuster, bubulling, Casabullanca, cold-bullooded (or cowld-bullooded), comfortabull, considerabull, concievabull, estabullish, dribull (dribble), fumbull (fumble), gambull, hobbull, grumbull, horribull, disabull (disable), impeccabull, imperceptibull, impossibull, improbabull, inescapabull, inexorabull, inextricabull, interchangabull, irresistabull, justifyabull, memorabull, mumbull, nobull (noble), miserabull, invariabull, irresistabull, interchangabull, predictabull, pro-bull-ems, pub-bull-ication, roadbullock (roadblock), suitabull, unreasonabull, unquestionabull, unavoidabull, understandabull, unbelievabull, tumbulling, trembulling, troubulling, inconcievabull.
  • *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
  • Utter → Udder: As in “Udderly ridiculous!”
  • Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
  • *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
  • Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
  • A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
  • Heard → Herd: As in “I overherd them speaking about …” and “The last I herd, …” and “Your herd it here first.” and “You could have herd a pin drop.” and “Stop me if you’ve herd this one”
  • Field: “I’m an expert in my field.”
  • Hey → Hay: As in “Hay, what’s up?” and “Hay there, friend.”
  • Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
  • Who’ve → Hoof: As in “Hoof you spoken to so far?”
  • Half → Hoof: As in “Is the glass hoof full or hoof empty?” and “My other/better hoof
  • Huff → Hoof: As in, “Hoofing paint,” and “A hoofy (huffy) attitude,” and “I belong in Hooflepuff (Hufflepuff),” and “Shoofling away,” and “Shoofling the deck,” and “Feeling choofed (chuffed).” Note: to feel chuffed is to feel very pleased.
  • Half → Hoof: As in, “Ain’t hoof bad,” and “My better hoof,” and “Cheap at hoof the price,” and “Getting there is hoof the fun,” and “Hoof awake.” Other half-related words: hoofway (halfway), hoof-baked, hooftime (halftime), hoofhearted, and behoof (behalf).
  • *hef* → *hoof*: As in, “A hoofty (hefty) promise,” and “Grand Thooft Auto,” and “Identity thooft.”
  • *hif* → *hoof*: As in, “Working in shoofts,” and “A whoof of perfume,” and “Makeshooft tent,” and “Shoofty glances.”
  • Have → Hoof/Hoove: As in, “As luck may hoove it,” and “Hoof your cake and eat it too,” and “Hoove a ball,” and “Hoof a bone to pick,” and “Hoof a go,” and “The walls hoove ears.”
  • *hav* → *hoove*: As in, hoove (have), hooveoc (havoc), behooveiour, aftershoove, and behoove (behave).
  • *hev* → *hoove*: As in, “Looking dishooveled (disheveled).”
  • *hiv* → *hoove*: As in, “In the archooves,” and “Shoovers down my spine,” and “Choovealry (chivalry) is not dead, we just don’t know the meaning of it,” and “A beehoove (beehive) hairstyle.”
  • *hov* → *hoove*: As in, hoover (hover), hoovel (hovel), hoovering (hovering), hoovercraft (hovercraft), shoovel and pushoover.
  • Bye son → Bison: As in “Bison! Your mum will pick you up tonight.”
  • Half → Calf: As in “I’m still calf asleep” and “I’ve got calf a mind to …” and “Calf measures”
  • Coff* → Calf*: As in, “Artisan calffee (coffee),” and “Added to the calffers (coffers),” and “Company calf-founders,” and “Back from the calffin (coffin).”
  • Caf* → Calf*: As in, calfe (cafe), calfeteria (cafeteria), calffeine (caffeine), decalf (decaf), scalffold (scaffold).
  • *cuff* → *calf*: As in, calflink (cufflink), calfed (cuffed), scalffle (scuffle), fisticalfs (fisticuffs), handcalfs (handcuffs).
  • Halves → Calves: As in, “Go calves,” and “Don’t do things by calves.”
  • Have her → Heifer: As in “Heifer parents found out yet?”
  • Forever → For heifer: As in “For heifer and heifer.”
  • Tail: Use these tail-related phrases: “Happy as a dog with two tails,” and “Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” and “Bright eyed and busy tailed,” and “Can’t make head or tail of it,” and “Chase your own tail,” and “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” Note: two shakes of a lamb’s tail is a phrase used to indicated that something is very fast.
  • Tale → Tail: As in, “Dead men tell no tails,” and “Fairytail ending,” and “Live to tell the tail,” and “Never tell tails out of school,” and “An old wives’ tail,” and “Tattle tail,” and “Tell tail sign.”
  • Talent → Tailent: As in, “___’s got Tailent,” and “A tailented painter,” and “Where would you say your tailents lie?”
  • Toilet → Tailet: As in, “Down the tailet,” and “In the tailet.”
  • Style → Stail: As in, hairstail, freestail, lifestail, and stailus (stylus)
  • Tile → Tail: As in, fertail (fertile), percerntail (percentile), projectail (projectile), reptail (reptile), and versatail (versatile).
  • Her before → Herbivore: As in “I’ve never met herbivore.”
  • Passed/Past your → Pasture: As in “It’s just pasture house on the left.” and “I pasture stall at the fair today but you weren’t there.” and “It’s pasture bedtime.”
  • Could → Cud: As in “Cud you stop it please?” and “As fast as her legs cud carry her” and “I cud do it in my sleep.”
  • Man you’re → Manure: As in “Manure making some awful puns today.”
  • Remnant → Ruminant: As in “I haven’t a ruminant of pride left after making all these terrible cow puns.” (A “ruminant” is a family of hoofed mammals comprising cows, sheep, deer, giraffe and their relatives)
  • Prominent → Pruminant: As in “She’s a pruminant member of our group.”
  • Permanent → Pruminant: As in “I’ve accidentally used pruminant marker on the whiteboard.”
  • Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
  • Go to sleep → Hit the hay: As in “It’s late. I better hit the hay.”

Cow-Related Words

Here are a few cow-related words to help you come up with your own cow puns:

moo, bovine, heifer, bison, manure, udder, ruminant, calf, calves, pasture, grass, oxen, bull, domesticated, buffalo, hoof, hooves, horns, herd, cloven hoof, herbivore, cow patty, hay, cud, manure

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