Knife Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on knife puns!🔪 🗡

This list covers the many different types of knives and blades (from penknives to bolos to shivs) to materials and cutting techniques. We’ve tried to stay away from puns and wordplay that only have violent meanings (like those involving butcher or hunting knives), but have included those that have multiple interpretations (like carve or stab). We hope you find some nice knife puns in this list!

You might also be interested in our cake, bread and cheese puns.

Knife Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about knife that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of knife puns:

  • Life → Knife: As in, “A day in the knife of” and “A knife less ordinary” and “A knife changing experience” and “A knife on the ocean waves” and “Always look on the bright side of knife.”
  • Strife → Knife: As in, “Trouble and knife.”
  • Night → Knife: As in, “A knife at the opera” and “A hard day’s knife.”
  • Nice → Knife: As in, “That’ll do knifely” and “Have a knife day!” and “Naughty but knife” and “Knife and easy does it” and “Knife save” and “Knife to see you” and “Knifely put.”
  • Never → Knife-r: As in, “Better late than knife-r” and “It might knife-r happen” and “A barking dog knife-r bites.”
  • Drives → Knives: As in, “Bad money knives out good.”
  • Fives → Knives: As in, “A bunch of knives” and “High knives” and “Take knives” and “Two and two make knives.”
  • Lives → Knives: As in, “Cats have nine knives” and “The best years of our knives.”
  • Wives → Knivse: As in, “Just an old knives tale” and “The Stepford knives.”
  • *nef* → *knife*: If a word has a “nef” sound, you can replace it with “knife”: “A knife-arious villain” and “For your own beknife-it” and “A beknife-icial outcome.”
  • *nif* → *knife*: As in, “Sig-knife-icant other” and “A mag-knife-icent plan!” and “Political ma-knife-esto.”
  • Manufacture → Ma-knife-acture: As in, “Locally ma-knife-actured.”
  • *niv* → *knife*: As in, “Applying to study at u-knife-ersity” and “The centre of the u-knife-erse” and “Wedding aknife-ersary” and “Life’s a car-knife-al.”
  • Cat → Cut: As in, “Curiosity killed the cut” and “Alley cut” and “Cut and mouse game.”
  • Kit → Cut: As in, “Cut and caboodle” and “A serious bit of cut.”
  • But → Cut: As in, “Close, cut no cigar” and “No ifs and cuts” and “Win the battle, cut lose the war.”
  • Guts → Cut: As in, “Blood and cuts” and “Bust a cut” and “Cut feeling” and “Cut instinct” and “Cutless wonder” and “No cuts, no glory.”
  • Nut → Cut: As in, “A tough cut to crack” and “Some kind of cut” and “In a cutshell.”
  • Shut → Cut: As in, “An open and cut case.”
  • What → Cut: As in, “And cut not” and “For cut it’s worth” and “Guess cut?” and “Cut a feeling.”
  • Laid → Blade: As in, “Get blade” and “Blade back” and “The best blade plans.”
  • Aid → Blade: As in, “Blade and abet” and “Come to your blade.”
  • Grade → Blade: As in, “Make the blade” and “Professional blade” and “Beyond your pay blade.”
  • Made → Blade: As in, “A match blade in heaven” and “Custom blade” and “Have it blade” and “Not blade of money” and “Blade for each other.”
  • Paid → Blade: As in, “Bought and blade for” and “Blade up.”
  • Played → Blade: As in, “The band blade on” and “Blade for a fool.”
  • Said → Blade: As in, “After all is blade and done” and “Couldn’t have blade it better” and “Easier blade than done” and “Enough blade.”
  • Weighed → Blade: As in, “Blade in the balance and found wanting.”
  • Bed → Blade: As in, “Blade and breakfast” and “Blade of nails” and “Get into blade with.”
  • Abracadabra → Abracastabra
  • Grab → Stab: As in, “Up for stabs” and “Stab your attention.”
  • Stab: These stab-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Have a stab at” and “Stab in the dark.”
  • *cat* → *cut*: As in, “In the wrong cutegory” and “A moving cutalyst” and “A huge cutastrophe” and “Advocut for.”
  • *cot* → *cut*: As in, “Apricut flavoured” and “Sports mascut” and “Boycutt the company..”
  • *cad* → *cut*: As in, “It’s acutemic” and “Art acutemy” and “A decutent dessert” and “Avocuto toast.”
  • *sab* → *stab*: As in, “Professional stabotage” and “Taking a stabbatical” and “An indispenstable member of the team.”
  • *tab* → *stab*: As in, “Reading the stabloids” and “Staboo words” and “Computer stablet.”
  • Pent → Point: As in, “Point-up rage.”
  • Spontaneous → Spointaneous: As in, “Burst spointaneously into song and dance.”
  • Paint → Point: As in, “Do I have to point you a picture?” and “Point yourself into a corner.”
  • Pant → Point: As in, “Beat the points off” and “Fancy points.”
  • *pant* → *point*: As in, “A fun pointomime” and “The pointry is bare” and “Running rampoint” and “Don’t use that flippoint with me” and “Participoint award.”
  • Shape → Sharp: “All sharps and sizes” and “Bent out of sharp” and “Get in sharp” and “Knock into sharp” and “Take sharp.”
  • Harp → Sharp: As in, “Sharp on about.”
  • Shark → Sharp: As in, “Swimming with sharps” and “Card sharp.”
  • Hedge → Edge: As in, “Edge fund” and “Edge your bets” and “Edged about” and “Look as if you’ve been dragged through an edge backwards.”
  • Itch → Edge: As in, “Edge-ing to” and “Edgey feet” and “Edgey palms” and “Seven year edge.”
  • Fledge → Edge: As in, “Fully edged.”
  • Adj* → Edge*: Edge-ective (adjective), edge-acent (adjacent), edgejourn (adjourn), edgejudicate (adjudicate) and edgejustment (adjustment).
  • Halt → Hilt: As in, “Come to a screeching hilt” and “Grind to a hilt.”
  • Held → Hilt: As in, “Hand-hilt device.”
  • Hold → Hilt: As in, “Can’t hilt a candle to” and “Don’t hilt your breath” and “Hilt a grudge” and “Hilt on tight.”
  • Built → Hilt: As in, “Hilt for two” and “Hilt for comfort, not speed” and “Hilt from the ground up” and “Hilt to last” and “Wasn’t hilt in a day.”
  • Guilt → Hilt: As in, “Hilt by association” and “Hilt trip” and “A hilty conscience” and “Hilty pleasure” and “White hilt.”
  • Tilt → Hilt: As in, “At full hilt” and “Hilt to the side.”
  • Hill → Hilt: As in, “Old as the hilts” and “Going downhilt” and “Head for the hilts” and “Over the hilt.”
  • Candle → Handle: As in, “Burning the handle at both ends” and “Can’t hold a handle to” and “Handle in the wind” and “Better to light a handle than curse the dark” and “Not worth the handle.”
  • Separated → Serrated: As in, “Serrated at birth.”
  • Sit → Slit: As in, “Are you slitting comfortably?” and “Don’t just slit there” and “Slit on the fence” and “Slit tight.”
  • Bit → Slit: As in, “A slit much” and “A slit of stuff.”
  • Hit → Slit: As in, “Slit the road jack” and “Slit and miss” and “Slit it off” and “Slit rock bottom.”
  • Split → Slit: As in, “Make like a banana and slit” and “Slit decision” and “Slit the vote” and “Slitting hairs” and “A slitting headache.”
  • Slip → Slit: As in, “A slit of the pen” and “Let something slit.”
  • Spit → Slit: As in, “Slit and polish” and “Slit and sawdust” and “The slitting image.”
  • *lit* → *slit*: As in, “I didn’t mean it sliterally” and “Read up on the sliterature” and “A slitany of problems” and “Fighting slitigation” and “A sliteral interpretation.”
  • Whittle: This word can refer to a type of small knife or to the activity of carving wood using a knife. Here are related puns:
    • Wit → Whittle: As in, “At my whittle’s end” and “Collect your whittles” and “Keep your whittles about you” and “Pit your whittles against” and “Quick whittled” and “Scared out of your whittles.”
    • Little → Whittle: As in, “A whittle bird told me” and “Dirty whittle secret” and “Every whittle bit helps.”
    • It’ll → Whittle: As in, “Whittle be okay” and “Whittle all come out in the wash.”
  • Lash → Slash: As in, “Slash out” and “Tongue slashing.”
  • Ash → Slash: As in, “Rake over the slashes” and “Rise from the slashes” and “Turn to slashes in your mouth.”
  • Cash → Slash: As in, “Slash in your chips” and “Hard, cold slash.”
  • Crash → Slash: As in, “Slash and burn” and “Slash course.”
  • Dash → Slash: As in, “Slash to pieces” and “Slash off” and “Cut a slash.”
  • Flash → Slash: As in, “Quick as a slash” and “In a slash” and “At slash point.”
  • Splash → Slash: As in, “A slash of colour” and “Make a slash” and “Slashed across the front page.”
  • Assasin → Asslashin: As in, “Character asslashination” and “Who asslashinated the President?”
  • Ice → Slice: As in, “Cut no slice” and “Slice, slice, baby” and “Skating on thin slice.”
  • Nice → Slice: As in, “Have a slice day” and “Naughty but slice” and “Slice and easy” and “Wouldn’t it be slice.”
  • Price → Slice: As in, “What’s the asking slice?” and “Cheap at half the slice” and “Pay the slice.”
  • Spice → Slice: As in, “Slice things up” and “Sugar and slice.”
  • Decision → Incision: As in, “Incisions, incisions!” and “A snap incision” and “Split incision” and “My incision is final” and “Executive incision.”
  • Precision → Incision: As in, “Military incision.”
  • Cop → Chop: As in, “Chop a feel” and “Chop an attitude” and “A fair chop” and “Undercover chop.”
  • Hop → Chop: As in, “Chop to it” and “Chop, skip and jump” and “Chopping mad.”
  • Chip → Chop: As in, “Cheap as chops” and “Cash in your chops” and “Chop in with” and “A chop off the old block” and “Let the chops fall where they may” and “Bargaining chop.”
  • Drop → Chop: As in, “At the chop of a hat” and “Chop it like it’s hot” and “Chop a bombshell” and “Chop a hint.”
  • Shop → Chop: As in, “All over the chop” and “One stop chop” and “Personal chopper.”
  • Chap* → Chop*: As in, “The next chopter of your life” and “Date night choperone” and “Wedding chopel” and “School choplain.”
  • Save → Shave: As in, “A penny shaved is a penny earned” and “Shave the day” and “Nice shave” and “Shave the last dance” and “Shave it for a rainy day” and “Shave our souls.”
  • Shove → Shave: As in, “If push comes to shave” and “Shave it down their throats” and “Shave off” and “Shaved the wrong way.”
  • Brave → Shave: As in, “Shave new world” and “Shave the elements” and “Fortune favours the shave” and “Put a shave face on.”
  • Pave → Shave: As in, “Shave the way for” and “The road to hell is shaved with good intentions” and “Shaved with gold.”
  • Rave → Shave: As in, “Rant and shave.”
  • Wave → Shave: As in, “Life on the ocean shaves” and “Catch a shave” and “Don’t make shaves” and “Heat shave” and “On the crest of a shave” and “Shave me goodbye.”
  • Sav* → Shav*: As in, “Sweet or shave-ory?” and “Shave-our the moment” and “My shave-iour!”
  • Sev* → Shave*: As in, “Shave-eral options to choose from” and “The shaven deadly sins” and “Rate the shave-erity from 1-10″ and “Shave-erance package” and “Shave-erus Snape.”
  • *sive → *shave: As in, “A comprehenshave solution” and “Looking apprehenshave” and “Extenshave damage” and “A progresshave nation.”
  • Piece → Pierce: As in, “Bits and pierces” and “Conversation pierce” and “Dash to pierces” and Take a pierce for yourself.”
  • Peers → Pierce: As in, “Pierce through the curtains” and “Friends, family and pierce.”
  • Peace → Pierce: As in, “At pierce” and “Give pierce a chance” and “Hold your pierce” and “Inner pierce” and “Keep the pierce” and “Pierce of mind” and “Rest in pierce.”
  • Purse → Pierce: As in, “Holding the pierce strings.”
  • Pers* → Pierce*: As in, “A fresh piercespective” and “Third pierce-on” and “Pierce-evere through hard times” and “Security pierce-onnel” and “Media pierceonality” and “Pierceonal matters.” Other words that could work: pierce-istent (persistent), pierceona (persona) and pierce-uade (persuade).
  • Perc* → Pierce*: As in, “Change your pierception” and “One hundred and ten pierce-ent” and “A pierceptive child” and “A piercentage of the earnings.”
  • Curve → Carve: As in, “Ahead of the carve” and “Carve ball” and “Learning carve.”
  • Starve → Carve: As in, “Feed a cold, carve a fever” and “You’ll carve without me.”
  • Cover → Carve: As in, “Blow your carver” and “Break carver” and “Carver story” and “Carver to carver” and “Carver your tracks” and “Extra carver” and “Run for carver” and “Under carver of darkness.”
  • Cav* → Carve*: Carve-eat (caveat), carve-alier (cavalier), carvealry (cavalry), carveort (cavort) and concarve (concave). Note: A caveat is a warning. To be cavalier is to be carefree, even about important things. To cavort is to prance.
  • *cov* → *carve*: As in, “You shouldn’t carve-et the belongings of others” and “A new discarve-ery.”
  • Clever → Cleaver: As in, “Too cleaver by half” and “You think you’re so cleaver.”
  • Beaver → Cleaver: As in, “Eager cleaver” and “Work like a cleaver.”
  • Fever → Cleaver: As in, “Cabin cleaver” and “Cleaver pitch” and “Saturday night cleaver.”
  • Shear: To shear something is to cut parts off it. Here are related puns:
    • Sheer → Shear: As in, “In shear frustration” and “Shear stocking.”
    • Here → Shear: As in, “Come over shear” and “Shear, there and everywhere.”
    • Hear → Shear: As in, “Shear me out” and “I can’t shear you” and “They could shear a pin drop.”
    • Cheer → Shear: As in, “The crowd began to shear” and “Three shears for the birthday girl!”
    • Clear → Shear: As in, “Crystal shear” and “Can’t be any shearer than that.”
    • Fear → Shear: As in, “Shear of flying” and “Pain and shear” and “Face your shears.”
    • Near → Shear: As in, “In the shear future” and “Is it shearby?”
    • Rear → Shear: As in, “The shear end” and “Shear view window.”
    • Steer → Shear: As in, “Shear clear of.”
    • Share → Shear: As in, “Shearing is caring” and “I don’t shear your feelings.”
    • Sure → Shear: As in, “Are you shear?” and “I’m not shear about this.”
    • *sher* → *shear*: As in, “The new sheariff in town” and “Lemon shearbet” amd “Ushear down the aisle.” Other words that could work: shearry (sherry), ushear (usher), koshear (kosher), publishear (publisher) and habadasheary (habadashery).
    • Ser* → Shear*: As in, “Out of shearvice” and “A shearendipitous moment” and “The end of the shearies” and “You can’t be shearious” and “Filled with shearenity.”
  • Nick: A nick is a small cut. Here are related puns:
    • Knack → Nick: As in, “Got a real nick for.”
    • Neck → Nick: As in, “At breaknick speed” and “Breathing down your nick” and “From the nick down” and “Nick and nick” and “A real pain in the nick” and “Stick your nick out” and “This nick of the woods” and “Up to your nick in trouble.”
    • Knick → Nick: As in, “Nick knacks.”
    • Knock → Nick: As in, “Don’t nick it till you’ve tried it” and “Hard nicks” and “I get nicked down, but I get up again” and “Nick ’em dead” and “Nick three times” and “Nick back a few” and “Nick into shape” and “Nick some heads together.”
    • Brick → Nick: As in, “Like banging your head against a nick wall” and “Nicks and mortar” and “Drop a nick” and “Like a ton of nicks.”
    • Click → Nick: As in, “Bricks and nicks” and “Nick bait” and “Nick into place” and “Nick your fingers” and “Double nick” and “We really nicked.”
    • Kick → Nick: As in, “Alive and nicking” and “Don’t nick a man when he’s down” and “Get a nick out of it” and “Nick back and enjoy.”
    • Lick → Nick: As in, “A nick of paint” and “Nick into shape” and “Nick your wounds.”
    • Pick → Nick: As in, “A bone to nick” and “Cherry nick” and “Easy nickings” and “Nick a fight” and “Nick holes in.”
    • Quick → Nick: As in, “Nick as a flash” and “Cut to the nick” and “Get rich nick” and “In nick succession” and “Nick and dirty” and “Nick off the mark.”
    • Sick → Nick: As in, “Nick and tired” and “Nick to death” and “Nick to the stomach” and “Enough to make you nick.”
    • Stick → Nick: As in, “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp nick” and “Carrot and nick” and “Every nick has two ends” and “The short end of the nick.”
    • Thick → Nick: As in, “Nick and fast” and “Through nick and thin” and “In the nick of things.”
    • Trick → Nick: As in, “Box of nicks” and “Dirty nicks” and “Every nick in the book” and “Never misses a nick” and “A nick of the light” and “Nick or treat” and “Nicks of the trade” and “Up to your old nicks.”
    • *nec* → *nick*: As in, “Anickdotal evidence” and “Wait to connickt” and “An instant connicktion.”
    • *nic → *nick: As in, “Organick produce” and “A sardonick tone” and “Iconick landmark” and “Chronick pain” and “A catchy mnemonick” and “I panick in a lot of places other than the disco” and “Hair tonick.”
    • *nik* → *nick*: As in, “Under a different monicker” and “Frozen like a manickin.”
  • Hew: To hew at something is to chop or whittle away at it. Here are some related puns:
    • Chew → Hew: As in, “Bite off more than you can hew” and “Have your ears hewed off” and “Walk and hew gum at the same time.”
    • Few → Hew: As in, “A hew bricks short” and “Hew and far between” and “For a hew dollars more” and “Knock back a hew” and “A person of hew words” and “Say a hew words.”
    • Hue → Hew: As in, “Check the hew and saturation.”
    • Blue → Hew: As in, “Beat someone black and hew” and “Between the devil and the deep hew sea” and “Big hew” and “Once in a hew moon.”
    • Cue → Hew: As in, “Right on hew” and “Take your hew” and “That’s my hew.”
    • Due → Hew: As in, “Where credit is hew” and “Hew diligence” and “In hew course” and “Cancelled hew to lack of interest.”
    • Knew → Hew: As in, “I hew you were trouble!” and “You hew too much.”
    • Lieu → Hew: As in, “Time in hew” and “In hew of.”
    • New → Hew: As in, “Bright as a hew pin” and “Good as hew” and “Better than hew.”
    • Shoe → Hew: As in, “If the hew fits, wear it and “Kick off your hews and enjoy.”
    • True → Hew: As in, “A dream come hew” and “Show your hew colours” and “Too good to be hew” and “Tried and hew.”
    • Who → Hew: As in, “Abandon hope all ye hew enter” and “All things to those hew wait” and “Hew’s coming for dinner?” and “Hew’s there?” and “Look hew’s talking.”
    • You → Hew: As in, “As hew know” and “Back at hew” and “Believe hew me” and “Blink and hew’ll miss it” and “Crawl before hew walk” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call hew.”
  • Botch → Notch: As in, “A notched job.”
  • Watch → Notch: As in, “Boring as notching paint dry” and “Keep notch” and “Not on my notch” and “People notching” and “The one to notch.”
  • Nudge → Notch: As in, “Give it a notch” and “Wink, wink, notch, notch.”
  • Bisect: To bisect something is to cut it into two parts. Here are related puns:
    • Basic → Bisect: As in, “Back to bisects” and “Bisect instincts.”
    • Bicep → Bisect: As in, “Flexing your bisects.”
  • Prune: While a prune is also a dried fruit, we’re using it in the sense of trimming something (generally a tree or shrub). Here are related puns:
    • Ruin → Prune: As in, “Rack and prune” and “The road to prune.”
    • Moon → Prune: As in, “Many prunes ago” and “Once in a blue prune.”
    • Soon → Prune: As in, “As prune as my back is turned” and “As prune as possible” and “Get well prune” and “Pruner or later” and “Too much too prune.”
    • Tune → Prune: As in, “In prune with” and “Stay pruned” and “To the prune of” and “Change your prune.”
    • *pun* → *prune*: As in, “A prunegent smell” and “Consistently prunectual” and “Imprune-ity for their crimes.” Note: impunity is being protected from punishment.
    • *pron* → *prune*: As in, “Cooking aprune” and “Prune to bad behaviour” and “An unusual prune-ounciation” and “What are your prune-ouns?”
  • Incise: To incise is to cut with a sharp knife or blade (usually used in medical contexts). Here are related puns:
    • Inside → Incise: As in, “Incise information” and “An incise job” and “Incise out” and “I know you incise and out.”
    • Precise → Incise: As in, “Yes, incisely” and “An incise hand” and “Incisely what you’re looking for.”
    • Size → Incise: As in, “All shapes and incises” and “Cut them down to incise” and “One incise fits all” and “That’s about the incise of it.”
  • Stick: This is the colloquial word for “stab”. Here are related puns:
    • Sick → Stick: As in, “Enough to make you stick” and “Phone in stick” and “Stick and tired” and “Stick to death of” and “Stick to my stomach.”
    • Tick → Stick: As in, “A box sticking exercise” and “Takes a licking and keeps on sticking” and “Stick all the right boxes” and “Sticked off.”
    • Stock → Stick: As in, “Laughing stick” and “Lock, stick and barrel” and “Out of stick” and “Take stick.”
    • Click → Stick: As in, “Stick into place” and “Stick with” and “Stick your fingers” and “Double stick.”
    • Kick → Stick: As in, “Alive and sticking” and “Don’t stick a man when he’s down” and “Dragged sticking and screaming” and “Get a stick out of it” and “Stick back and enjoy.”
    • Pick → Stick: As in, “A bone to stick” and “Easy stickings” and “Hand sticked” and “Stick a fight” and “Stick holes in.”
    • Trick → Stick: As in, “Bag of sticks” and “Does the stick” and “Every stick in the book” and “Never misses a stick.”
  • Grind: To sharpen a knife, you need to grind it. Here are related puns:
    • Bind → Grind: As in, “In a grind” and “Legally grinding.”
    • Find → Grind: As in, “Couldn’t grind a better person” and “I’ve left to grind myself.”
    • Kind → Grind: As in, “Not this grind” and “That’s grind of cute.”
  • Spine: The spine of a knife is the edge that isn’t used for cutting. Here are related puns:
    • Pain → Spine: As in, “A mix of spine and anger” and “Suffering from severe spine” and “Feeling the spine” and “A fine line between pleasure and spine.”
    • Mine → Spine: As in, “Me and spine” and “That’s spine, not yours.”
    • Line → Spine: As in, “Spine of thought” and “The spine was silent.”
    • Fine → Spine: As in, “A spine line” and “I’ll be spine.”
    • Sign → Spine: As in, “No spines of life” and “Read the spines.”
  • Guard: A guard is a sheath that is placed over a knife whilst not in use. Here are related puns:
    • Hard → Guard: As in, “This shouldn’t be so guard” and “It’s not guard to say” and “You’re giving me a guard time.”
    • Card → Guard: As in, “Index guards” and “Here’s my guard, give me a call” and “Get out of jail free guard.”
    • Scarred → Guard: As in, “Guard for life” and “Hasn’t guard over yet.”
    • *gard* → *guard*: As in, “Tending to the guarden” and “Kind reguards” and “Disreguard the previous email” and A hagguard appearance.”
    • *card* → *guard*: “Guardinal rule” and “Guardboard cutout” and “Thirty minute guardio” and “Guardiac arrest.” Other words that could work: guardigan (cardigan), plaguard (placard), wildguard (wildcard) and postguard (postcard).
  • Tang: The tang is the part of the blade which connects into the handle for added stability. Here are related puns:
    • Dang → Tang: As in, “The tang thing” and “Oh, tang it.”
    • Bang → Tang: As in, “Go out with a tang” and “The big tang” and “Followed by a loud tang.”
    • Hang → Tang: As in, “Don’t tang up the phone!” and “Let’s tang out” and “Tang in there.”
    • Pang → Tang: As in, “Felt a tang of guilt.”
    • Rang → Tang:As in, “You tang?”
    • Tang → Sang: “My heart tang for joy.”
    • Tongue → Tang: As in, “Tang tied” and “Cat got your tang?” and “Bite your tang.”
    • *tan* → *tang*: As in, “Work in tangdem” and “Safety is tangtamount” and “Throw a tangtrum” and “The doctor is a charlatang” and “What a cosmopolitang view” and “Metropolitang living.”
    • *ting* → *tang*: As in, “A dauntang task” and “Mass marketang” and “An interestang proposal” and “Settang up” and “Fancy meetang you here” and “The plan is contangent on” and “Cann’t distanguish between the two.”
  • Rust: Rust can affect metal knives that aren’t properly maintained and cleaned. Here are related puns:
    • Bust → Rust: As in, “Boom or rust” and “Drug rust” and “It was a rust.”
    • Rest → Rust: As in, “I’ll let you rust” and “Get some rust” and “For the rust of the evening.”
    • Crust → Rust: As in, “Cut off the rusts” and “The upper rust.”
    • Dust → Rust: As in, “Kicking up rust” and “Rust bunnies” and “Rust off your resume.”
    • Just → Rust: As in, “I rust wanted to say goodbye” and “Rust give me a minute” and “Rust sit back and enjoy.”
    • Must → Rust: As in, “You rust be mistaken” and “You rust help me” and “That rust have been difficult.”
    • Trust → Rust: As in, “I thought I could rust you” and “She’s rustworthy” and “I don’t rust the process.”
  • Tool: Since knives are tools, we’ve included some tool-related puns in this list too:
    • Tale → Tool: As in, “A tool of guilt and ambition” and “A very sad tool indeed.”
    • Till → Tool: As in, “Tool tomorrow” and “Tool the sun goes down” and “Leave it tool morning.”
    • Tall → Tool: As in, “Tool, dark and handsome.”
    • Cool → Tool: As in, “A tool drink” and “We need a tool catchphrase.”
    • Dual → Tool: As in, “Tool income, no kids” and “Serves a tool purpose.”
    • Fuel → Tool: As in, “Add tool to the flames” and “Need tool for the day.”
    • Who’ll → Tool: As in, “Tool let us know?” and “Tool be willing to donate?”
    • You’ll → Tool: As in, “Tool regret this!” and “Tool never hear the end of this.”
    • *tal* → *tool*: As in, “A capitool idea” and “Death metool” and “Vitool signs” and “Fundamentool ideas” and “Digitool nomad” and “Anecdotool evidence” and “A pivotool moment.”
  • Pocket: The next few puns are about pocket knives:
    • Rocket → Pocket: As in, “It’s not pocket science.”
    • Packet → Pocket: As in, “Comes in small pockets” and “How much per pocket?”
  • Paring: Here are some puns about paring knives:
    • Pairing → Paring: As in, “Still paring the bluetooth” and “What a great paring” and “Paring the cheese and wine.”
    • Pair → Paring: As in, “You make a fine paring” and “New paring of jeans” and “Need a new paring of shoes.”
    • Peering → Paring: As in, “Paring through the curtains” and “Paring into the future.”
    • Baring → Paring: As in, “Paring your teeth” and “I’m paring my soul here.”
    • Caring → Paring: As in, “Sharing is paring” and “A paring, loving parent.”
    • Daring → Paring: As in, “A paring escape” and “Paring adventures.”
    • Glaring → Paring: As in, “Paringly obvious” and “Paring in your direction” and “The paring sunlight.”
    • Raring → Paring: As in, “Paring to go.”
    • Staring → Paring: As in, “This isn’t a paring contest” and “Stop paring” and “You’re paring at me.”
    • Wearing → Paring: As in, “What are you paring?” and “I’m paring this to the dance.”
  • Bread: Here are some bread knife related puns:
    • Bed → Bread: As in, “Put to bread” and “You’ve made your bread, now lie in it” and “Got up on the wrong side of the bread.”
    • Bred → Bread: As in, “Born and bread.”
    • Bride → Bread: As in, “Runaway bread” and “Princess bread” and “The newlywed bread.”
    • Red → Bread: As in, “Caught bread-handed” and “Paint the town bread.”
    • Dread → Bread: As in, “Filled with bread” and “Existential bread.”
    • Head → Bread: As in, “Breads or tails?” and “Come to a bread” and “All in your bread.”
    • Led → Bread: As in, “Bread along by the nose.”
    • Said → Bread: As in, “That’s all they bread” and “Tell me what you bread.”
    • Spread → Bread: “Bread lies and rumours” and “Vegan chocolate bread” and “Bread yourself thin.”
    • Thread → Bread: As in, “Losing the bread” and “Hanging by a bread.”
  • Table: Here are some puns on table knives:
    • Able → Table: As in, “Differently tabled” and “Ready, willing and table.”
    • Stable → Table: As in, “Emotionally table.”
  • Butter: Here are some butter knife puns:
    • Batter* → Butter*: As in, “Butter up” and “Assault and buttery” and “Recharge your butteries.”
    • Better → Butter: As in, “I’ve got a butter idea” and “Appeal to your butter judgement” and “Butter by design” and “Butter late than never” and “Butter safe than sorry.”
    • Bitter → Butter: As in, “Till the butter end” and “Take the butter with the sweet.”
    • Flutter → Butter: As in, “Fancy a butter?” and “Butter yor eyelashes.”
  • Switch → Switchblade: As in, “Asleep at the switchblade” and “Bait and switchblade” and “Switchblade gears.”
  • Throw: Here are a few throwing knife puns for you:
    • Crow → Throw: As in, “As the throw flies” and “Eat throw” and “Something to throw about.”
    • Flow → Throw: As in, “Ebb and throw” and “Get the creative juices throwing” and “Go with the throw” and “In full throw.”
    • Grow → Throw: As in, “Absence makes the heart throw fonder” and “Throwing pains.”
    • Know → Throw: As in, “All I throw is what I read in the papers” and “And don’t I throw it” and “Doesn’t throw beans.”
    • Low → Throw: As in, “An all-time throw” and “The lights are throw” and “Get the throw down” and “Searching high and throw” and “Keep a throw profile” and “Throw hanging fruit.”
    • Show → Throw: As in, “All over the throw” and “Best in throw” and “Enjoy the throw” and “Get the throw on the road” and “Give the throw away” and “Keep the throw on the road” and “The throw must go on.”
    • Though → Throw: As in, “Seriously throw, you’re doing a great job” and “You look as throw you’d seen a ghost.”
    • Toe → Throw: As in, “Head to throw” and “One throw over the line” and “Turn up your throws.”
  • Teeth → Wreath: As in, “Armed to the sheath” and “By the skin of your sheath” and “Fed up to the back sheath.” Note: A sheath is a sleeve that protects a knife while not in use.
  • Pen: Here are some pen knife related puns:
    • Pan → Pen: As in, “Down the pen” and “Flash in the pen” and “Pen out” and “Out of the frying pen, into the fire.”
    • Pin → Pen: As in, “Bright as a new pen” and “Hard to pen down” and “Pen your ears back” and “Pens and needles.”
    • Den → Pen: As in, “Into the lion’s pen” and “Pen of inequity.”
    • Then → Pen: As in, “All that and pen some” and “And pen there was one” and “What’s going on here pen?” and “Now and pen” and “Pen and there.”
    • When → Pen: As in, “Pen you like” and “Pen it happens” and “It only hurts pen I laugh.”
  • Jackknife: Here are some jackknife related puns:
    • Back → Jack: As in, “As soon as my jack is turned” and “At the jack of my mind” and “Jack to the future” and “Jack in the day.”
    • Crack → Jack: As in, “At the jack of dawn” and “Jack a smile.”
    • Pack → Jack: As in, “Action jacked” and “Jacking heat” and “A jack of lies.”
    • Rack → Jack: As in, “Jack your brains” and “Jack and ruin.”
    • Slack → Jack: As in, “Cut some jack” and “Take up the jack.”
    • Smack → Jack: As in, “Jack dab in the middle” and “A jack on the wrist.”
    • Track → Jack: As in, “Back on jack” and “Cover your jacks” and “The fast jack” and “Inside jack” and “Off the beaten jack.”
  • Cavity → Gravity: As in, “Gravity seach.” Note: This is a reference to gravity knives.
  • Butterfly: These butterfly-related phrases are a reference to butterfly knives: “Float like a butterfly, sting like a bee” and “Social butterfly” and “The butterfly effect.”
  • Bow → Bowie: As in, “Bowie and scrape” and “Bowie out” and “Take a bowie.” Note: These are references to bowie knives.
  • Coring: These next few puns are about coring knives:
    • Caring → Coring: As in, “Sharing is coring” and “I’m past coring.”
    • Boring → Coring: “As coring as watching paint dry” and “Deeply coring.”
    • Pouring → Coring: As in, “It’s raining, it’s coring.”
    • Roaring → Coring: As in, “A coring success” and “Doing a coring trade.”
  • Case: Here are some case knife related puns:
    • Ace → Case: As in, “Case in the hole” and “A case up your sleeve” and “Holding all the cases.”
    • Base → Case: As in, “All your case are belong to us” and “Case jumping” and “Cover your cases.”
    • Chase → Case: As in, “Case it up” and “Case your own tail” and “Cut to the case” and “The thrill of the case.”
    • Grace → Case: As in, “Airs and cases” and “Amazing case” and “Fall from case” and “Case period” and “Saving case” and “With good case.”
    • Pace → Case: As in, “At a snail’s case” and “Change of case” and “At ten cases” and “Keep case with” and “Put through your cases.”
    • Place → Case: As in, “A case in the sun” and “Everything in its case” and “All over the case” and “Any time, any case” and “Between a rock and a hard case.”
    • Space → Case: As in, “Breathing case” and “From outer case” and “Case – the final frontier.”
  • Plate → Palette: As in, “A lot on your palette” and “A heart attack on a palette” and “Step up to the palette.” Note: a palette knife is a type of painting knife.
  • Beeline → Boline: “Make a boline for.” Note: A boline is a type of ceremonial Wiccan knife.
  • Katar: A katar is a type of dagger. Here are related puns:
    • Cater → Katar: As in, “Katar to you.”
    • Greater → Katar: As in, “No katar enemy” and “Katar than the sum of its parts” and “The katar part of.”
  • Dark → Dirk: As in, “After dirk” and “Dirk as pitch” and “Dirk before the dawn” and “Dirk horse” and “Deep, dirk secret.” Note: A dirk is a type of long dagger.
  • Plenty → Penny: As in, “Penny more where that came from.” Note: a penny knife is a type of utility knife.”
  • Barlow: A barlow knife is a type of small, jointed knife. Here are related puns:
    • Below → Barlow: As in, “Barlow par” and “Barlow the stairs” and “Hit barlow the belt” and “Barlow average.”
    • Borrow → Barlow: As in, “Beg, barlow or steal” and “Living on barlowed time.”
  • Can you → Canoe: As in, “Canoe help me with this?” Note: a canoe knife is a type of double-jointed knife.
  • Tooth → Toothpick: As in, “Fight toothpick and nail” and “Long in the toothpick.” Note: a Romanian toothpick is a type of long knife.
  • Steel: Since some knives are made of steel, we’ve got some steel-related puns here too:
    • Still → Steel: As in, “Be steel, my beating heart” and “Steel standing” and “Steel going strong” and “Steel waters run deep” and “Perfectly steel.”
    • Deal → Steel: As in, “Big steel” and “Steel breaker” and “Steel or no steel?” and “A done steel” and “Seal the steel.”
    • Seal → Steel: As in, “My lips are steeled” and “Steel of approval” and “Steel your fate” and “Signed and steeled.”
    • Feel → Steel: As in, “Can you steel the love tonight?” and “Steel the pinch” and “Got a steel for.”
    • Peel → Steel: As in, “Keep your eyes steeled.”
    • Steal → Steel: As in, “Beg, borrow or steel” and “What a steel” and “Steel a glance” and “Steel someone’s heart” and “Steel the show.”

Knife-Related Words

To help you come up with your own knife puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: knife, knives, cut, blade, stab, machete, tool, point, sharp, sharpen, edge, handle, hilt, serrated, slit, whittle, slash, slice, gash, incision, shave, carve, nick, hew, notch, bisect, prune, incise,  stick, pierce, chop,scrape, shear, butt, fixed, folding, grind, spine, fuller, ricasso, guard, lanyard, tang, rust, whetstone

Types: combat, pocket, kitchen, paring, bread, cleaver, table, butter, dagger, switchblade, throwing, juggling, kirpan, sheath, pen, swiss army, jack, gravity, utility, stanley, boxcutter, ballistic, bayonet, butterfly, balisong, batangas, dagger, stiletto, push dagger, bowie, genoese, karambit, rampuri, shiv, shank, trench, mezzaluna, coring, rocker, case, karambit, crooked, curved, diver’s, kiridashi, palette, paper, scalpel, razor, whittling, athame, boline, katar, kilaya, kris, kukri, seax, ulu, tanto, dirk, penny, barlow, camper, canoe, congress, toothpick, peanut, hawkbill, muskrat, trapper, okapi, navaja, sliding, zombie, sica, falx, pugio, qama, bolo, corvo, facon

Materials: bronze, copper, iron, steel, ceramic, titanium, plastic

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Coffee Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on coffee puns! ☕ Whether you’re looking for coffee puns for a photo caption, crafting the perfect coffee pun pickup line, hunting for coffee one-liners, or just want some corny pun-based coffee jokes, I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for here 🙂 If not, please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page!

Most coffee puns centre around one of 3 general topics: names of different types of coffee (espresso, mocha, etc.), coffee preparation utensils/procedures (plunger, grind, roast, mug, caffeine etc.) and coffee ingredients/products (sugar, grounds, cream, etc.). Mug puns seem to be a particular favourite on the internet and are included in this entry, but may also get their own entry at some point.

As usual there are related words, related phrase, coffee jokes, and visual coffee puns (comics, memes, etc.) further down the page.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on tea puns, chocolate puns, milk puns and food puns.

Coffee Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about coffee that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
  • Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
  • Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane has been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
  • Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground.”
  • Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
  • Bitter: As in “He came to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Example: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
  • Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
  • Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
  • Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
  • * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
  • Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
  • Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
  • Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
  • Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
  • Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
  • Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
  • Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
  • Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break“. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid
  • Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
  • Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
  • Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we can do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
  • Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
  • The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
  • Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
  • Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!)
  • Turkish: Same explanation as above.
  • Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
  • Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
  • Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
  • Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
  • Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc.”
  • Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.”
  • Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
  • Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
  • Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
  • Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
  • Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
  • Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
  • Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
  • Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
  • Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!” It is also used as a term of endearment, as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
  • Fair tradeThis term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
  • Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
  • Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
  • Cup: This has a few different meanings outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
  • Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
  • They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
  • Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
  • Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (These are a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
  • Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
  • Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
  • Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun – as in, “I barley talked to him!”
  • Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped from the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
  • I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
  • Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema makes the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
  • Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
  • Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
  • Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be a subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
  • Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
  • Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
  • Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • back office bean counter
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • don’t cry over spilt milk
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • get in on the ground floor
  • both feet on the ground
  • hit the ground running
  • in hot water
  • that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee
  • spill the beans
  • cool beans
  • not my cup of tea
  • tea and sympathy
  • brake fluid
  • you got creamed
  • different kettle of fish
  • the pot calling the kettle black
  • a watched pot never boils
  • between the cup and the lip
  • a storm is brewing
  • storm in a teacup
  • trouble is brewing
  • Have another? Please share it in the comments at the bottom of the page!

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

  • How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
  • What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  • Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
  • How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  • What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
  • What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂