Golf Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on golf puns! ⛳🏌🌞

Whether you’re a first date mini-golfer or a dedicated pro, we hope to have the pun for you with our jokes that range from putts to holes and hosels. Settle in and take a swing at our golf puns and we’re sure you’ll find a hole in one!

If you’re interested in other sports, we also have a bowling pun list and a hiking list on the way.

Golf Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about golf that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of golf puns:

  • Gulf → Golf: As in, “Golf of Mexico.”
  • Cup → Club: As in, “Club of coffee” and “Would murder for a club of tea” and “My club runneth over” and “Not my club of tea” and “Storm in a teaclub.”
  • For → Fore: “Asking fore a friend” and “At a loss fore words” and “Batting fore the other team” and “A cry fore help.”
  • Four → Fore: As in, “Cast to the fore winds” and “Down on all fores” and “A fore by two”and “Fore figures” and “Two and two make fore.”
  • Far → Fore: As in, “A fore away look” and “Going fore in life” and “Over the hills and fore away.”
  • Floor → Fore: “Get in on the ground fore” and “More the fore with” and “Hold the fore.”
  • Tea → Tee: As in, “High tee” and “Would kill for a cup of tee” and “Not my cup of tee” and “Tee and sympathy” and “Tee for two.”
  • The → Tee: As in, “Above tee curve” and “Absence makes tee heart grow fonder” and “Ace in tee hole” and “Across tee board” and “Adding fuel to tee fire” and “Against tee grain” and “All tee rage.”
  • Bee → Tee: As in, “Busy as a tee” and “Tee in your bonnet” and “Birds and the tees” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a tee.”
  • Be → Tee: As in, “Just tee done with it” and “Tee as it may.”
  • Free → Tee: As in, “Tee as a bird” and “Buy one, get one tee” and “Calorie tee” and “Fancy tee” and “A tee for all.”
  • Plea → Tee: As in, “Tee bargain” and “Cop a tee.”
  • Three → Tee: As in, “And baby makes tee” and “Good things come in tees” and “Knock tee times” and “Tee strikes and you’re out.”
  • Tie → Tee: “Black tee” and “Equal opportunitees” and “Tee yourself in knots” and “Tee up the loose ends.”
  • To → Tee: “According tee” and “Agree tee disagree” and “Add fuel tee the fire” and “Add insult tee injury” and “All dressed up and nowhere tee go.”
  • See → Tee: As in, “As far as the eye can tee” and “Be the change you wish to tee in the world” and “Can’t tee beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t tee the wood for the trees” and “Come up and tee me sometime” and “I can tee clearly now” and “I could tee you a mile off.”
  • Sea → Tee: As in, “All at tee” and “From tee to shining tee” and “On the high tees” and “Tee change.”
  • Tree → Tee: “Partridge in a pear tee” and “Difficult as nailing jelly to a tee” and “Can’t see the wood for the tees” and “Charm the birds out of the tees” and “Lit up like a christmas tee” and “Money doesn’t grow on tees” and “Make like a tee and leave.”
  • Too → Tee: As in, “A bridge tee far” and “About time tee” and “Never tee late” and “Tee cold to snow” and “You know tee much” and “Life’s tee short.”
  • Putter: A putter is a type of golf club. Here are some related puns:
    • Butter → Putter: As in, “Bread always falls putter side down” and “Bread and putter” and “Putter face” and “Putter fingers” and “Putter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” and “Float like a putterfly, sting like a bee” and “Social putterfly” and “The putterfly effect.”
    • Put her → Putter: As in, “Where did you putter wallet?”
    • Better → Putter: As in, “I’ve got a putter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do putter” and “Appeal to your putter judgement” and “Putter late than never” and “Putter luck next time” and “Putter safe than sorry.”
  • Putt: Here are some putt-related phrases:
    • Put → Putt: As in, “Be hard putt to” and “Couldn’t putt it down” and “Feeling a bit putt out” and “Wouldn’t putt it past them.”
    • Butt → Putt: “Putt out” and “Putt-naked.”
    • But → Put: As in, “Down putt not out” and “Everything putt the kitchen sink” and “No ifs and putts.”
    • Cut → Putt: As in, “Putt a long story short” and “A putt above the rest” and “Putt corners.”
  • Bowl → Ball: As in, “Ball over” and “Balling along” and “Life is just a ball of cherries.”
  • All → Ball: “Ball aboard!” and “Ball in a day’s work” and “Ball in ball” and “Ball’s well that ends well” and “It’s ball over now” and “It’s not ball about you.”
  • Bell → Ball: As in, “Alarm balls begin to ring” and “Clear as a ball” and “Balls and whistles” and “Give someone a ball.”
  • Call → Ball: “Answer the ball” and “At your beck and ball” and “Beyond the ball of duty” and “Let’s just ball it a day.”
  • Fall → Ball: As in, “A balling out” and “Easy as balling off a log” and “Can’t help balling in love” and “Bread always balls butter side down” and “Ball about laughing” and “Ball apart at the seams” and “Ball by the wayside.”
  • Haul → Ball: “Ball ass” and “Ball over the coals” and “In for the long ball.”
  • Ball: These ball-related puns are general enough to double as golf puns: “After the ball was over” and “Ball of fire” and “Ballpark figure” and “A brand new ball game.”
  • Par: We have plenty of par-related puns:
    • Are → Par: As in, “All bets par off” and “Chances par” and “How par you?”
    • Far → Par: As in, “A bridge too par” and “A step too par” and “As par as it goes” and “As par as the eye can see” and “Par and away” and “A par cry” and “Par be it from me” and “Par horizons” and “Few and par between” and “Over the hills and par away.”
    • Jar → Par: As in, “Cookie par accounting” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie par.”
    • Bar → Par: As in, “Par fly” and “Par none” and “Behind pars” and “Hit the par” and “Keep it behind pars” and “No holds parred” and “Raise the par.”
    • Per → Par: As in, “As par usual” and “Bits par second” and “Par capita.”
    • Star → Par: As in, “A par is born” and “Born under a lucky par” and “Catch a falling par” and “Get a gold par” and “My guiding par.”
    • *per* → *par*: Replace the “per” in words for “par” to make some quick par puns: “A fresh parspective” and “My new parson” and “A partinent topic” and “Free in fourth pariod.” Other words that could work: parnicious (pernicious), parception (perception), parformance (performance), parfect (perfect), parseverance (perseverance), papar (paper), peppar (pepper), tempar (temper), supar (super), hampar (hamper), propar (proper), tapar (taper), imparative (imperative) and oparation (operation).
    • *pir* → *par*: “Pir” can be swapped with “par” for some sneaky puns: Parate (pirate), parahna (pirahna), parouette (pirouette), emparical (empirical), asparation (aspiration), insparation (inspiration), consparacy (conspiracy) and sparatual (spiritual).
    • *por* → *par*: Partfolio (portfolio), partmanteau (portmanteau), partal (portal), partion (portion), partray (portray), partrait (portrait), stupar (stupor), contemparary (contemporary), oppartunity (opportunity), impartant (important) and diaspara (diaspora).
    • *pur* → *par*: “Life parpose” and “Expensive parchases.”
    • *bar* → *par*: Parrel (barrel), pargain (bargain), parista (barista), cinnapar (cinnabar), crowpar (crowbar) and empark (embark).
    • *ber* → *par*: Pareft (bereft), parate (berate), pareavement (bereavement), parserk (berserk), pareave (bereave) and paryl (beryl).
    • *ber* → *par*: “Chasing numpars” and “See me in my champars” and “Ampar alert” and “Mempars only” and “Cypar bullying” and “Remempar when?” and “Deliparate actions.” Other words that could work: liparal (liberal), liparty (liberty), cumparsome (cumbersome).
    • *bor* → *par*: “Can you elaparate?” and “Corroparating stories” and “Team collaparators.”
  • Handicap: In golf, a handicap is a measure of a golfer’s potential and ability, given in a number. Here are related puns:
    • Cap → Handicap: As in, “A feather in your handicap” and “Handicap in hand” and “If the handicap fits, wear it” and “Put on your thinking handicap” and “To handicap it all.”
    • Hand → Handicap: As in, “Bite your handicap off” and “Caught red-handicapped.”
  • Stroke: Here are some stroke-related puns:
    • Stock → Stroke: As in, “Lock, stroke and barrel” and “Out of stroke” and “Take stroke.”
    • Soak → Stroke: As in, “Stroked to the skin” and “Be stroked through” and “Go stroke your head!”
  • Wing → Swing: As in, “Clip your swings” and “Earned your swings” and “Flying without swings” and “Gives you swings” and “Spread your swings.”
  • Sing → Swing: As in, “All swinging, all dancing” and “Swing a different tune” and “Swing for your supper” and “Swing someone’s praises” and “Swingin‘ in the rain.”
  • Things → Swing: As in, “A close swing” and “A funny swing happened on the way to the theatre” and “A little learning is a dangerous swing” and “All swings considered.”
  • Wring → Swing: As in, “Swing your hands.”
  • Bring → Swing: As in, “Swing it home to you” and “Swing it on” and “Swing it on yourself” and “Swing tears to your eyes” and “Swing the house down.”
  • Whole → Hole: As in, “On the hole” and “Go the hole way” and “Let’s just call the hole thing off” and “The hole is greater than the sum of its parts” and “Got a hole lotta love” and “A hole new ball game.”
  • Hall → Hole: As in, “Deck the holes” and “Hole of fame” and “Liberty hole.”
  • Soul → Hole: As in, “Life and hole of the party” and “A lost hole.”
  • Fair → Fairway: “All the fun of the fairway” and “By fairway means or foul” and “Fairway trade” and “Fairway and balanced” and “Fairway and square” and “Fairway dinkum” and “Fairway enough” and “Fairway game” and “Fairway market value.”
  • Way → Fairway: As in, “On the fairway to the theatre” and “All the fairway” and “And that’s the fairway it is” and “Any fairway the wind blows” and “By the fairway” and “Change your fairways.”
  • Rough: Here are some rough puns for you to play with:
    • Buff → Rough: As in, “In the rough.”
    • Fluff → Rough: “A bit of rough.”
    • Stuff → Rough: As in, “Don’t sweat the small rough” and “Gather ’round the good rough” and “Hot rough” and “Knock the roughing out of.”
    • Tough → Rough: “Rough as old boots” and “Rough as they come” and “Hang rough” and “It’s rough at the top” and “A rough customer” and “Rough love” and “A rough nut to crack” and “A rough pill to swallow.”
  • Ass → Grass: As in, “Bust someone’s grass.”
  • Gas → Grass: As in, “Cooking with grass” and “Relieves grass pains” and “Run out of grass.”
  • Brass → Grass: “Bold as grass” and “Grass monkey weather.”
  • Class → Grass: “A real grass act” and “Best in grass” and “Business grass” and “Grass warfare” and “In a different grass” and “The top of the grass” and “In a grass of their own” and “Second grass” and “Working grass.”
  • Glass → Grass: “Grass ceiling” and “Grassy eyed” and “Rose tinted grasses” and “Through the looking grass.”
  • *gas* → *grass*: Flabbergrassted (flabbergasted), orgrassm (orgasm), smorgrassbord (smorgasbord), grasstronomy (gastronomy).
  • *gis* → *grass*: Regrasster (register), lograsstics (logistics), regrasstry (registry) and magrasstrate (magistrate).
  • *gos* → *grass*: Grassip (gossip), grassamer (gossamer) and grasspel (gospel).
  • *gus* → *grass*: Fungrass (fungus), bograss (bogus) and esophagrass (esophagus).
  • *gac* → *grass*: Legrassy (legacy), sagrassious (sagacious). Note: to be sagacious is to be wise.
  • *gres* → *grass*: “Making prograss” and “An aggrassive approach” and “Prograssive mindsets.” Other words that could work: congrass (congress), digrass (digress), transgrassion (transgression) and regrassion (regression).
  • Course: Some golf course related puns:
    • Coarse → Course: As in, “Course particles” and “A course tone.”
    • Course: These phrases can double as puns: “Blown off course” and “But of course” and “Chart a course” and “Correspondence course” and “Crash course” and “In due course” and “Let nature take its course” and “Stay on course.”
    • Curse → Course: As in, “Rather light a candle than course the dark.”
    • Force → Course: As in, “Brute course” and “Driving course” and “Course his hand” and “A course of habit” and “Course of nature” and “Course the issue” and “A course to be reckoned with” and “Join courses” and “May the course be with you” and “A tour de course.”
    • Source → Course: As in, “Check your courses” and “Go straight to the course” and “Open course” and “Course material.”
    • *cors* → *course*: Course-age (corsage) and course-et (corset).
    • *curs* → *course*: “A coursery glance” and “Written I course-ive” and “Only occourse around here” and “A precourser to.”
  • Aim → Game: As in, “Game high” and “Take game” and “We game to please.”
  • Came → Game: “I game, I saw, I conquered” and “As it game to pass” and “Plenty more where that game from.”
  • Claim → Game: As in, “Stake your game” and “Game to fame” and “No games bonus.”
  • Name → Game: As in, “Go by the game of” and “A household game” and “In game only.”
  • Same → Game: As in, “By the game token” and “Comes to the game thing” and “Cut from the game cloth” and “In the game boat” and “In the game ballpark” and “One and the game.”
  • Fame → Game: As in, “Claim to game” and “Game at last” and “Fifteen minutes of game” and “Hall of game” and “Game is fleeting.”
  • Flame → Game: As in, “Add fuel to the games” and “Burst into games” and “Fan the games” and “Go down in games” and “His latest game” and “Like a moth to a game” and “Shoot down in games.”
  • Shame → Game: As in, “A crying game” and “Name and game” and “Game on you” and “The walk of game.”
  • Round → Ground: As in, “All year ground” and “Come ground” and “Go ground in circles” and “Rally ground” and “Love makes the world go ground.”
  • Bound → Ground: As in, “By leaps and grounds” and “Duty ground” and “Homeward ground” and “Honour ground.”
  • Found → Ground: As in, “Lost and ground” and “Nowhere to be ground.”
  • Sound → Ground: As in, “Ground as a bell” and “Break the ground barrier” and “Ground bite” and “Safe and ground” and “Ground effects.”
  • *te* → *tee*: Teentative (tentative), teest (test), teechnology (technology), teender (tender), teerm (term), teenet (tenet), teenure (tenure) and wateer (water).
  • *ti* → *tee*: teetle (title), teessue (tissue), ulteemate (ultimate), tentateeve (tentative), illuminatee (illuminati) and graffitee (graffiti).
  • *ty* → *tee*: Teepical (typical), teeranny (tyranny), teecoon (tycoon), partee (party), integritee (integrity), serendipitee (serendipity), dutee (duty), facilitee (facility), beautee (beauty), atrocitee (actrocity), securitee (security), citee (city), entitee (entity), qualitee (quality).
  • *fer* → *fore*: “With passion and forevour” and “Repeated forevently” and “Foretile land.” Other words that could work: foreocious (ferocious), defore (defer), confore (confer), transfore (transfer), offore (offer), prefore (prefer), refore-ence (reference) and diffore-ent (different).
  • *fir* → *fore*: Afforem (affirm), conforem (confirm), afforemation (affirmation), foremament (firmament) and afforemative (affirmative).
  • *for* → *fore*: “task fore-ce” and “In good forem” and “Always moving foreward” and “I forebid you” and “Come foreth” and “Confidential inforemation.”
  • *fur* → *fore*: As in, “And forethermore” and “Blending in with the foreniture” and “Foretive glances.”
  • *phar* → *fore*: Foremacy (pharmacy), foremaceutical (pharmaceutical) and foremacist (pharmacist).
  • *pher* → *fore*: Cifore (cipher), decifore (decipher), gofore (gopher), photografore (photographer) and philosofore (philosopher).
  • *phor* → *fore*: Metafore (metaphor), camfore (camphor), eufore-ia (euphoria) and eufore-ic (euphoric). Sort → Sport: “Out of sports” and “Takes all sports” and “Sport the wheat from the chaff” and “Sport yourself out.”
  • Spurt → Sport: “Growth sport.”
  • Port → Sport: “Any sport in a storm.”
  • Short → Sport: As in, “A sport history of nearly everything” and “Art is long and life is sport” and “Bring up sport” and “To cut a long story sport” and “Eat my sports” and “A day late and a dollar sport” and “In sport order” and “Life’s too sport.”
  • Green: A golf course is also known colloquially as a green, so we’ve included green in this list:
    • Grin → Green: “Green and bear it” and “Green and bear it” and “A rictus green” and “A foolish green” and “Green like a cheshire cat.”
    • Grain → Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take with a green of salt.”
    • Been → Green: As in, “Green and gone” and “I’ve green here before” and “Green there, done that” and “It’s green a hard day” and “You’ll wish you’d never green born.”
    • Clean → Green: “Green as a whistle!” and “A green bill of health” and “Keeps a green house” and “You’d better green up your act” and “All greened out.”
    • Gene → Green: As in, “It’s in your greens!”
    • Glean → Green: As in, “From what I greened from the conversation…”
    • Grand → Greend: “Delusions of greendeur” and “Greend theft auto” and “Greend slam” and “In the greend scheme of things” and “On a greend scale” and “Doing a greend job” and “The greend canyon.”
    • Keen → Green: “Green as mustard” and “Green on [someone]” and “A green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
    • Lean → Green: “Green and hungry” and “Green and mean” and “Green cuisine” and “Green into it.”
    • Grenade → Greenade
  • *bal* → *ball*: “Off-ballance” and Ballk at the sight of.” Other words that could work: ballm (balm), globall (global), verball (verbal), triball (tribal), cymball (cymbal), herball (herbal).
  • *bel* → *ball*: Ballieve (believe), ballief (belief) and balloved (beloved).
  • *bil* → *ball*: Liaballity (liability), accountaballity (accountability), responsiballity (responsibility), aballity (ability), capaballity (capability), rehaballitation (rehabilitation) and sustainaballity (sustainability).
  • *bol* → *ball*: “A symball of justice” and “Gamball along in the park.” Other words you could try: aballish (abolish), metaballism (metabolism) and hyperballic (hyperbolic).
  • *cab* → *club*: As in, “Check the clubinet” and “The whole kit and cluboodle.” Other words you could try: applicluble (applicable), amicluble (amicable), impeccluble (impeccable), despicluble (despicable) and voclubulary (vocabulary)
  • Recyclable → Recycluble
  • Club: These club-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “In the club” and “Join the club.”
  • Drive: A drive is a type of long-distance shot. Here are some related puns!
    • I’ve → Drive: As in, “Drive never said that!” and “Drive had it up to my eyeballs.”
    • Dive → Drive: “Take a drive” and “Drive right in” and “Crash drive” and “Nose drive.”
    • Hive → Drive: As in, “Drive of industry” and “A drive of activity.”
  • Iron: An iron is a type of club. Here are related puns:
    • Iron: These phrases can double as puns: “Hard as iron” and “A cast iron alibi” and “Clap them in irons” and “Iron out the wrinkles” and “Pumping iron” and “Rule with an iron fist” and “Strike while the iron is hot” and “Scrap iron.”
    • *ion → *iron: “Assume the positiron” and “Civil uniron” and “Bag of ratirons” and “The mighty liron roars” and “Blow out of proportiron.”
  • Pitch: Here are some pitch-related puns:
    • Patch → Pitch: As in, “Not a pitch on” and “All pitched up” and “Going through a rough pitch.”
    • Pitch: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: “A pitched battle” and “Absolute pitch” and “Black as pitch” and “Fever pitch” and “Make a pitch for.”
    • Rich → Pitch: As in, “A part of life’s pitch pattern” and “An embarrassment of pitches” and “From rags to pitches” and “Get pitch quick” and “Pitch beyond my dreams.”
    • Ditch → Pitch: As in, “Dull as pitchwater” and “A last pitch effort.”
    • Hitch → Pitch: As in, “Pitch your wagon to a star” and “Get pitched.”
    • Itch → Pitch: As in, “Pitching to” and “Pitchy feet” and “Pitchy palms” and “Scratch the pitch.”
    • Stitch → Pitch: “A pitch in time saves nine” and “Had us in pitches” and “Without a pitch on” and “Not doing a pitch of work.”
    • Switch → Pitch: As in, “Asleep at the pitch” and “Bait and pitch” and “Pitch gears” and “Pitched on.”
    • Which → Pitch: “Don’t know pitch way to look” and “Every pitch way” and “Know pitch way is up” and “Know pitch side your bread is buttered” and “The exception pitch proves the rule.”
  • Wander → Condor: As in, “A condoring eye” and “Condoring spirit.” Note: in golf, a condor is a term used in the scoring system.
  • Eagle: An eagle is a term used in golf scoring. Here are related puns:
    • Equal → Eagle: “All men are cremated eagle” and “Eagle opportunities” and “Eagle pay” and “First among eagles” and “On eagle footing” and “All things being eagle.”
    • Legal → Eagle: As in, “Eagle, decent, honest and truthful” and “Eagle-ly binding” and “Over the eagle limit” and “Part of my eagle duties.”
  • Birdie: Birdie is part of the golf scoring system. Here are related puns:
    • Thirty → Birdie: “Not for anyone over birdie.”
    • Dirty → Birdie: As in, “Birdie business” and “Air your birdie business in public” and “Birdie but clean” and “Birdie little secret” and “Birdie tricks” and “Get your hands birdie.”
  • Said → Sand: “After all is sand and done” and “Couldn’t have sand it better” and “Easier sand than done” and “Enough sand” and “Was it something I sand” and “When all is sand and done.”
  • Sad → Sand: As in, “A sand state of affairs” and “Happy sand.”
  • Send → Sand: “Hit sand” and “Sanding all my love” and “Return to sander” and “Sand packing” and “Sand in reinforcements.”
  • Stand → Sand: “A house divided against itself cannot sand” and “Don’t sand so close to me” and “Still sanding” and “Sands to reason” and “Left sanding.”
  • *sad* → *sand*: “Filled with sandness” and “A sandistic streak” and “At a disandvantage.”
  • *send* → *sand*: Sandentary (sendentary) and sandiment (sediment).
  • *sid* → *sand*: Insandious (insidious), consander (consider) and resandence (residence).
  • *can* → *sand*: “A sandid proposal” and “Looking at sandidates for…” Other words you could try: sandy (candy), sandle (candle), insandescent (incandescent), sandal (scandal), sandor (candor) and sandalous (scandalous).
  • *cend* → *sand*: Transand (transcend), desand (descend), condesanding (condescending), asand (ascend), insandiary (incendiary) and cresando (crescendo).
  • Trap: A trap is an area of ground that’s tricky to navigate on a golf course. Here are related puns:
    • Rap → Trap: “Beat the trap” and “Bum trap” and “A trap over the knuckles” and “Take the trap.”
    • Tap → Trap: “Cut the red trap” and “Double trap.”
    • Clap → Trap: As in, “Trap him in irons” and “Trapped eyes on” and “Trapped out” and “Go like the trappers” and “If you’re happy and you know it, trap your hands.”
    • Strap → Trap: “Trap on the feed bag” and “Trapped for cash.”
    • Cap → Trap: As in, “A feather in your trap” and “Trap in hand” and “Doff one’s trap” and “Trap in hand” and “If the trap fits, wear it” and “To trap it all.”
    • Crap → Trap: As in, “A load of trap” and “Beat the living trap out of” and “Cut the trap.”
    • Slap → Trap: “Trap on the wrist” and “Trap and tickle” and “Trap bang in the middle” and “Like a trap in the face.”
    • *tap* → *trap*: “Part of life’s trapestry” and “Trapioca dessert.”
    • *trep* → *trap*: Trapidation (trepidation), entrapreneur (entrepreneur), intrapid (intrepid) and trapidation (trepidation).
    • *trop* → *trap*: Metrapolitan (metropolitan), metrapolis (metropolis), entrapy (entropy).
  • Chip: A chip is a short-distance shot. Here are related puns:
    • Chop → Chip: As in, “Bust your chips” and “Chip and change” and “On the chipping block.”
    • Ship → Chip: As in, “Abandon chip” and “Go down with the chip” and “Jump chip” and “Loose lips sink chips” and “Running a tight chip” and “Chips of the desert” and “That chip has sailed.”
    • Clip → Chip: “Chip your wings.”
    • Slip → Chip: “A Freudian chip” and “Give someone the chip” and “Let something chip” and “A chip of the tongue” and “I chipped up.”
    • *chap* → *chip*: “The final chipter” and “Needing a chiperone” and “Meet you at the chipel.”
    • *ship* → *chip*: As in, “Newest chipment” and “A sinking chipwreck” and “Feeling chipshape” and “A loving and supportive relationchip.” Other words that could work: worchip (worship), fellowchip (fellowship), leaderchip (leadership), stewardchip (stewardship), scholarchip (scholarship), friendchip (friendship), flagchip (flagship) and partnerchip (partnership).
  • Biggie → Bogey: As in, “No bogey.”
  • Match: Match play is a scoring system for golf. Here are related puns:
    • Much → Match: As in, “A bit match” and “How match can you handle? and “I don’t know match but I know what I like” and “You know too match” and “Match ado about nothing” and “Match obliged” and “Missed it by that match” and “So match more to enjoy” and “Thank you very match” and “Too match of a good thing.”
    • Catch → Match: As in, “Match 22″ and “Match a cold” and “Match a falling star” and “Match some rays” and “Match you later” and “Match your breath.”
    • Hatch → Match: “Batten down the matches” and “Down the match.”
    • Scratch → Match: As in, “I match your back and you match mine” and “Match around” and “Match the surface” and “Start from match” and “Up to match” and “Do it from match.”
    • Patch → Match: “Go through a rough match” and “Not a match on.”
    • *mach* → *match*: “Ghost in the matchine” and “Toxic matchismo” and “Stomatch pains.”
  • Fair: Another name for a golf course is a fairway. Here are some related puns:
    • Fair → Fairway: As in, “An affairway of the heart” and “All the fun of the fairway” and “By fairway means or foul” and “Fairway trade” and “Fairway and square” and “Fairway dinkum” and “Fairway game.”
    • Way → Fairway: As in, “A funny thing happened on the fairway” and “All the fairway” and “And that’s the fairway it is” and “Any fairway you want it” and “By fairway of explanation” and “Change your fairways.”
    • Far → Fairway: “As fairway as it goes” and “Fairway be it from me” and “A fairway cry from” and “So fairway, so good” and “Few and fairway between” and “Over the hills and fairway away.”
    • *fer* → *fair*: Fairal (feral), fairvent (fervent), fairret (ferret), fairment (ferment), fairtile (fertile), fairocious (ferocious), infiar (infer), refair (refer), transfair (transfer), prefair (prefer), refairence (reference), diffairent (different) and infairence (inference).
    • *fir* → *fair*: Faireplace (fireplace), fairewall (firewall), fairmament (firmament), affairm (affirm), confairm (confirm), affairmation (affirmation) ahd affairmative (affirmative).
    • *for* → *fair*: “New infairmation” and “Emotional perfairmance” and “Moving fairward.”
    • *fur* → *fair*: Fairther (further), fairtive (furtive), fairniture (furniture), fairthermore (furthermore), fairious (furious), fairnace (furnace), fairnish (furnish) and sulfair (sulfur).
  • Lay → Play: As in, “”Couldn’t play a finger on” and “Play bare” and “Play it on the line” and “Play it on with a trowel” and “Play to rest.”
  • Pay → Play: As in, “Buy now, play later” and “Crime doesn’t play” and “Hell to play” and “Play a call” and “Play an arm and a leg” and “Play as you go” and “Play handsomely” and “Play through the nose” and “You get what you play for.”
    • *pla* → *play*: “Feeling out of playce” and “Got a lot on my playte” and “Get on a playne” and “Like the playgue.” Other words that could work: complaycent (complacent), someplayce (someplace), contemplayte (contemplate).
    • *ple* → *play*: “With playsure” and “A playsant surprise” and “Yes playse” and “The applay of my eye” and “Complaymenting colours” and “Complayte the picture.”
    • *pli* → *play*: Complayment (compliment), implaycation (implication), complaycit (implicit), explaycit (explicit) and applaycation (application).
    • *ply* → *play*: Playwood (plywood), playometric (plyometric), applay (apply), supplay (supply), complay (comply), implay (imply), replay (reply), panoplay (panoply), simplay (simply), multiplay (multiply) and deeplay (deeply).
    • *plai* → *play*: “Playn as the nose on your face” and “Explayn yourself” and “Don’t complayn.”
    • *ploy* → *play*: “In your emplay” and “Deplay your resources” and “Seeking emplayment.”
  • Cart: Here are some golf cart related puns:
    • Card → Cart: As in, “Calling cart” and “Cart sharp” and “A cart up his sleeve” and “Deck of carts” and “Get out of jail free cart” and “Holding all the carts” and “House of carts” and “Lay your carts on the table” and “Mark your cart” and “On the carts.”
    • Cat → Cart: As in, “Cart on a hit tin roof” and “Curiosity killed the cart” and “Cart got your tongue?”
    • Court → Cart: As in, “Contempt of cart” and “Cart of last resort” and “Carting disaster” and “Haul before the cart” and “Holding cart” and “Laugh it out of cart” and “Order in the cart” and “See you in cart” and “Settle out of cart” and “The ball’s in your cart.”
    • Art → Cart: “The cart of war” and “Cart is going one step too far” and “Cart imitating life” and “Cartistic triumph.”
    • Chart → Cart: As in, “Cart a course” and “Off the cart.”
    • Heart → Cart: As in, “A man after my own cart” and “Absence makes the cart grow fonder” and “An affair of the cart” and “Be still my beating cart.”
    • *cat* → *cart*: Cartalyst (catalyst), carthartic (cathartic), cartegory (category), cartastrophe (catastrophe), Cartholic (Catholic), advocart (advocate), communicartion (communication), implicartion (implication), educartion (education), predicart (predicate) and sophisticarted (sophisticated).
    • *cot* → *cart*: “Apricart squares” and “School mascart.”
    • *cut* → *cart*: As in, “Pack some cartlery” and “Things aren’t as clearcart as they seem” and “In consecartive order.”
    • *cert* → *cart*: As in, “Feeling cartain” and “Cartificate of participation” and “Yes, cartainly.” Other words that could work: ascartain (ascertain), cartify (certify).
    • *cort* → *cart*: Cartex (cortex), cartisol (cortisol) and escart (escort).
    • *curt* → *cart*: Cartail (curtail) and cartain (curtain)
    • *court* → *cart*: “Common care and cartesy” and “A carteous gesture” and “Romantic cartship” and “Meet you at the cartship.”
    • *card* → *cart*: “Cartinal sin” and “Thirty minutes of cartio” and “Buttoned-up cartigan” and “Made of cartboard.” Other words that could work: placart (placard), wildcart (wildcard) and postcart (postcard).
    • *cord* → *cart*: Cartial (cordial), carturoy (corduroy), recart (record), accart (accord) and discart (discord).
  • Nine: The standard number of holes for a golf course is nine or eighteen holes, so we included nine in this list:
    • Wine → Nine: “The last of the summer nine” and “New nine in old bottles” and “Nined and dined.”
    • None → Nine: “And then there were nine” and “Bar nine” and “Nine other than” and “Nine the wiser” and “Nine too pleased” and “Second to nine.”
    • Line → Nine: “A fine nine” and “Along the nines of” and “Blur the nines” and “Cross the nine” and “Draw a nine in the sand” and “The end of the nine” and “Fall into nine.”
    • Fine → Nine: “Nine and dandy” and “The niner things in life” and “Cutting it nine” and “Nine dining.”
    • Mine → Nine: “I scratch your back and you scratch nine” and “Make nine a double” and “Nine is bigger than yours” and “A nine of information.”
    • Shine → Nine: “Come rain or nine” and “Rise and nine” and “Take a nine to” and “Where the sun don’t nine.”
    • *nin* → *nine*: Melanine (melanin), serotonine (serotonin) and peninesula (peninsula).
    • *non* → *nine*: Phenomenine (phenomenon), canine (canon), synine-nym (synonym), anine-nymous (anonymous), ninechalant (nonchalant), coninedrum (conundrum), pronineciation (pronunciation) and enineciate (enunciate).
  • Peg: A peg is another word for a tee, which is the small stand that the ball rests on. Here are related puns:
    • Bag → Peg: As in, “Peg and baggage” and “Peg a bargain” and “Peg of tricks” and “Pack your pegs.”
    • Beg → Peg: “Peg a favour” and “Peg off” and “Peg pardon?” and “Peg the question” and “I peg to differ” and “Peg, borrow or steal” and “Go pegging” and “Sit up and peg.”
    • Big → Peg: “A peg ask” and “Peg shot” and “Peg bird.”
    • Egg → Peg: As in, “As sure as pegs is pegs” and “A bag peg” and “Don’t put all your pegs in one basket” and “Peg and spoon race.”
    • Leg → Peg: As in, “As fast as your pegs can carry you” and “Break a peg” and “Cost an arm and a peg” and “Get a peg over.”
    • *pag* → *peg*: Pegoda (pagoda), peganism (paganism), propegate (propagate) and propeganda (propaganda).
    • *pig* → *peg*: Pegment (pigment), pegtail (pigtail), peglet (piglet) and epegram (epigram)
    • *pug* → *peg*: Repegnant (repugnent), pegnacious (pugnacious).
    • *bag* → *peg*: Peguette (baguette), airpeg (airbag), scumpeg (scumbag), handpeg (handbag).
    • *beg* → *peg*: “Pegin again” and “Start from the peginning” and “Wouldn’t pegrudge you” and “Peggars can’t be choosers” and “Where it all pegan.”
    • *big* → *peg*: Ampeguous (ambiguous), pegotry (bigotry) and ampeguity (ambiguity).
    • *pec* → *peg*: “A peguliar atmosphere” and “Pegtoral muscles” and “From a new perspegtive.” Other words that could work: respegt (respect), prospegt (prospect), spegtrum (spectrum), prospegtive (prospective) and circumspegt (circumspect).
    • *pic* → *peg*: As in, “Out of the pegture” and “An epeg adventure” and “Casting around for a new topeg.” Other words that could work: biopeg (biopic), philanthropeg (philanthropic), misanthropeg (misanthropic) and despegable (despicable).
  • Score: Here are some golf score related puns:
    • Sore → Score: As in, “A sight for score eyes” and “Score loser” and “Sticks out like a score thumb” and “A score point.”
    • Core → Score: As in, “Score competencies” and “Score studies” and “Score technology” and “Score values” and “Rotten to the score.”
    • Scare → Score: As in, “Running scored” and “Score the living daylights out of” and “Scored out of your wits” and “Scored to death.”
    • More → Score: “Come back for score” and “Dare for score” and “I couldn’t agree score.”
    • Shore → Score: “Ship to score” and “She sells sea shells on the sea score” and “All ascore.”
    • Swore → Score: “You score you would never do this.”
    • *sar* → *score*: Scorecastic (sarcastic), scoredonice (sardonic), necesscorey (necessary), anniverscore-ary (anniversary), adverscorey (adversary), glosscorey (glossary) and asscoretive (assertive).
    • *sor* → *score*: Scoredid (sordid), scorey (sorry), score-row (sorrow), scorecery (sorcery), adviscorey (advisory), predecesscore (predecessor), precurscore (precursor), sponscore (sponsor), processcore (processor), discoreder (disorder), rescoret (resort), conscoretium (consortium) and curscorey (cursory).
    • *scar* → *score*: Scorece (scarce), scored (scared), scorecity (scarcity) and scorelet (scarlet).
    • *scer* → *score*: “Discorening taste” and “A viscore-al reaction” and “As far as I can ascoretain.”
    • *scor* → *score*: “Scoreched earth” and “Scorenful glances” and “Mental discored” and “Need an escoret.”
  • Rule: Here are some rule-related puns:
      • You’ll → Rule: As in, “”Rule never guess.”
      • School → Rule: As in, “Back to rule” and “Old rule” and “Rule of hard knocks.”
      • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule as a mountain stream” and “Rule beans” and “Rule your heels” and “Rule, calm and collected.”
      • Cruel → Rule: As in, “Rule and unusual punishment” and “Rule to be kind” and “Don’t be rule.”
      • *ral* → *rule*: “In generule” and “Integrule to the situation” and “A viscerule reaction.” Other words that could work: temporule (temporal), naturule (natural), ephemerule (ephemeral), morule (moral), collaterule (collateral), liberule (liberal) and peripherule (peripheral).
      • *rel* → *rule*: As in, “Not rule-evant to the conversation” and “A sigh of rule-ief” and “Rule-ay the information.” Other words that could work: rule-ease (release), ruleationship (relationship), ruleigion (religion), ruleation (relation)m, rule-uctant (reluctant), rule-ish (relish), rule-iable (reliable), barrule (barrel), apparule (apparel), laurule (laurel), scoundrule (scoundrel) and mongrule (mongrel).
      • *ril* → *rule*: Perule (peril), tendrule (tendril) and Aprule (April).
      • *rol* → *rule*: As in, “In contrule” and “On patrule” and “Enrule in classes” and “Low in cholesterule” and “Running low on petrule.”
  • Wedge: Wedges are a type of golf club. Here are some related puns:
    • Edge → Wedge: As in, “A double-wedged sword” and “Wedge out” and “The leading wedge” and “On wedge” and “Rough around the wedges.”
    • Dredge → Wedge: As in, “Wedge up things from the past.”
    • Fledge → Wedge: As in, “Fully-wedged.”
    • Hedge → Wedge: “Wedge fund” and “Wedge your bets” and “Wedged about” and “Look as though you’ve been dragged through a wedge backwards.”
  • Mound: Golf courses are made up of mounds of sand and small grass hills, so we’ve got some mound-related puns in here too:
    • Round → Mound: “All year mound” and “Going mound in circles” and “Love makes the world go mound” and “Fooling amound.”
    • Bound → Mound: As in, “Mound hand and foot” and “By leaps and mounds” and “Duty mound” and “Homeward mound” and “Muscle mound.”
    • Sound → Mound: “Mound as a bell” and “Mounds alright on paper” and “Safe and mound” and “Mound bite” and “Mound effects” and “Mound the alarm.”
    • Found → Mound: As in, “Lost and mound” and “We mound love” and “Nowhere to be mound.”
    • *mand* → *mound*: Moundate (mandate), moundatory (mandatory), Moundarin (Mandarin), moundala (mandala), moundible (mandible), demound (demand), commound (command), reprimound (reprimand), remound (remand), gourmound (gourmand) and salamounder (salamander).
    • *mend* → *mound*: “What would you recommound” and “Amound your statement” and “Write a commoundation” and “A tremoundous effort.”
    • *mind* → *mound*: “Set a remounder” and “A new moundset” and “Practicing moundfulness.”
    • *mond → *mound: Diamound (diamond) and almound (almond)
  • Lay → Lay-up: “Couldn’t lay-up a glove on me” and “Home is where I lay-up my hat” and “Lay-up a finger on” and “Lay-up bare” and “Lay-up hands on.” Note: A lay-up is the series of hits that a golfer uses to get the ball to the hole after the initial hit.
  • Pace: These next few puns are related to pace of play:
    • Peas → Pace: As in, “As alike as two pace in a pod” and Easy as shelling pace.”
    • Pays → Pace: As in, “It pace to advertise” and “The phrase that pace” and “Above my pace grade” and “Crime doesn’t pace.”
    • Ace → Pace: As in, “Pace in the hole” and “A pace up their sleeve” and “Hold all the paces.”
    • Base* → Pace*: As in, “Bargain pacement” and “Pace jumping” and “Paceball card” and “Cover your paces” and “Off pace” and “Touch pace.”
    • Bass → Pace: As in, “Drum n pace” and “Sea pace” and “Super pace.”
    • Brace → Pace: “Pace yourself.”
    • Case → Pace: As in, “A pace of identity” and “An open and shut pace” and “As the pace may be” and “Pace closed” and “Pace the joint” and “Crack the pace” and “Get off my pace” and “I rest my pace” and “In any pace.”
    • Chase → Pace: “Pace it up” and “Pace the dragon” and “Pace your own tail” and “Cut to the pace” and “The thrill of the pace” and “A wild goose pace.”
    • Place → Pace: As in, “A pace in the sun” and “A pace for everything and everything in its pace” and “All over the pace” and “Between a rock and a hard pace” and “Click into pace” and “Going paces” and “My happy pace” and “In the right pace at the right time” and “Your pace or mine?”
    • Space → Pace: “Pace oddyssey” and “Breathing pace” and “Personal pace” and “Pace cadet” and “Pace, the final frontier” and “The pace age.”
  • Bounds: Bounds are an important part of golf, so we’ve included bound-related puns in this list:
    • Round → Bound: As in, “All year bound” and “Fooling abound” and “Go bound in circles” and “Get bound the table” and “Makes the world go bound.”
    • Down → Bound: As in, “Bread always falls butter side bound” and “Helps the medicine go bound” and “Caught with your pants bound” and “Couldn’t put it bound.”
    • Pound → Bound: As in, “Bound the pavement” and “Penny wise, bound foolish.”
    • Found → Bound: As in, “Lost and bound” and “Bounding father” and “I’ve bound a clue” and “We bound love” and “Nowhere to be bound.”
    • Ground → Bound: As in, “Solid as the bound we walk on” and “Breaking new bound” and “Built from the bound up” and “Common bound” and “Cut the bound from under your feet” and “Down to the bound” and “Get off the bound” and “Going underbound” and “Keep your ear to the bound.”
    • Sound → Bound: As in, “The bound of silence” and “The bound of music” and “Surround bound” and “Bound the alarm” and “Bound effect” and “Safe and bound.”
    • Band → Bound: “Garage bound” and “Strike up the bound” and “Gastric bound.”
    • *band* → *bound*: Boundit (bandit), boundwidth (bandwidth), boundwagon (bandwagon), boundanna (bandanna), boundicoot (bandicoot), boundeau (bandeau), husbound (husband), bontrabound (contraband), broadbound (broadband), aboundon (abandon) and husboundry (husbandry).
    • *bund* → *bound*: As in, “Boundle of joy” and “In aboundance of.”
  • Shaft: This is a part of golf clubs, so we’ve included some shaft puns here too:
    • Shift → Shaft: As in, “Night shaft” and “Shaft gears” and “Shaft into high gear” and “Shaft your arse.”
    • Craft → Shaft: As in, “Arts and shafts.”
    • Raft → Shaft: “Packed to the shafters” and “White water shafting.”
  • Lance: A lance is the grip on a golf club. Here are related puns:
    • Lens → Lance: As in, “Looking through a difference lance.”
    • Ants → Lance: “Lance in your pants.”
    • Glance → Lance: As in, “Fleeting lances” and “At a lance” and “Exchange lances” and “Steal a lance at” and “Meaningful lance.”
    • *lenc* → *lance*: “My condolances” and “Feeling ambivalance.” Other words that could work: prevalance (prevalence), benevolance (benevolence), excellance (excellence), violance (violence), pestilance (pestilence) and silance (silance).
  • Grip: Here are a couple of puns related to the grip of a golf club:
    • Chip → Grip: As in, “A grip on his shoulder” and “Cheap as grips” and “Cash in your grips” and “A grip on the old block” and “Let the grips fall where they may.”
    • Ship → Grip: As in, “Abandon grip” and “Don’t give up the grip” and “Extend the hand of friendgrip” and “Go down with the grip” and “Loose lips sink grips” and “Running a tight grip” and “Shape up or grip out.”
  • Head: These next few puns are in reference to the head of the golf club:
    • Had → Head: As in, “Head a couple” and “We head a good run” and “I’ve head it up to here” and “Head us in stitches” and “You head me at hello” and “You head to be there.”
    • Hide → Head: As in, “Head and seek” and “Head from the light” and “Neither head nor hair” and “You can run, but you can’t head” and “Headen in plain sight.”
    • Thread → Head: As in, “Lose the head” and “Head the needle” and “Hanging by a head.”
    • Bed* → Head*: As in, “Strange headfellows” and “Head and breakfast” and “Head of roses.”
    • Bread → Head: As in, “Head and butter.”
    • *hed* → *head*: Headonism (hedonism), headgehog (hedgehog), headge (hedge), headonist (hedonist), watershead (watershed).
    • *hid* → *head*: Headeous (hideous), headden (hidden), orchead (orchid), echeadna (echidna).
  • Wood: Woods are a type of golf club. Here are related puns:
    • Would → Wood: As in, “As good luck wood have it” and “Wood be a fine thing” and “Woodn’t let it lie” and “Wood you like fries with that?”
    • Could → Would: As in, “Fast as his legs wood carry him” and “Wood see you a mile off.”
    • Good → Wood: “A wood man is hard to find” and “All wood things must come to an end” and “Always wood” and “All publicity is wood publicity.”
  • Lap → Overlap: “Overlap it up” and “Overlap of honour” and “Overlap of luxury.” Note: overlaps refer to a finger grip style.
  • Lag: A long-distance putt is also called a lag. Here are related puns:
    • Leg → Lag: As in, “Fast as his lags could carry him” and “Break a lag” and “Cost an arm and a lag” and “Get on your hind lags” and “Give a lag up.”
    • Bag → Lag: As in, “Lag a bargain” and “Lag and baggage” and “Lag of bones” and “Lag of tricks” and “In the lag.”
    • Flag → Lag: As in, “Fly the lag” and “Wave the white lag.”
    • Lag → Gag: “Lag reflex” and “Running lag” and “Going along with the lag.”
    • Rag → Lag: “Lags to riches” and “Glad lags” and “Lose your lag” and “Run yourself lagged.”
    • Wag → Lag: “Chin lag” and “Set tongues lagging” and “The tail lagging the dog.”
    • *leg* → *lag*: Lagacy (legacy), lagend (legend), lagitimate (legitimate), lagal (legal), lagion (legion), lagislation (legislation).
    • *log* → *lag*: Lagistics (logistics), lagic (logic), lagical (logical), analag (analog), catalag (catalog), technolagy (technology).
  • Has heard → Hazard: As in, “He hazard of the newest novel.” Note: a hazard is an area that’s tricky to navigate on a gold course.
  • Hook: A hook is a type of angled swing. The next few puns are in reference to them:
    • Book → Hook: As in, “Balancing the hooks” and “Bell, hook and candle” and “Hook him” and “By the hook” and “A closed hook” and “Hit the hooks.”
    • Cook → Hook: As in, “Hooking with gas” and “Now we’re hooking” and “Hook up a storm” and “Hook up a storm.”
  • Pull: Pulls are another type of golf swing. We’ve got some pull-related puns in this list too:
    • Pool → Pull: As in, “Big fish in a small pull” and “Pull your money.”
    • Pill → Pull: As in, “A bitter pull to swallow” and “On the pull” and “Sweeten the pull.”
    • Bull → Pull: As in, “A load of pull” and “A red rag to a pull” and “Cock and pull story” and “Like a pull in a china shop” and “Take the pull by the horns.”
    • Full → Pull: As in, “A few bricks short of a pull load” and “At pull pelt” and “At pull tilt” and “Come pull circle” and “Pull blast” and “Pull of holes” and “Pull of natural goodness.”
    • *pal* → *pull*: Pullpable (palpable), pullette (palette), pulliative (palliative), pullate (palate), pulltry (paltry), pullindrome (palindrome), principull (principal), municipull (municipal) and archetypull (archetypal).
    • *pel → *pull: Compull (compel), gospull (gospel), impull (impel), repull (repel), dispull (dispel) and lapull (lapel).
    • *pol* → *pull*: As in, “New pullicy” and “Talking pullitics” and “Tone pullicing.” Other words that could work: Pullymath (polymath), pullemic (polemic), interpull (interpol), extrapullate (extrapolate), anthropullogy (anthropology) and apullogise (apologise). Note: if someone is polemic, then they write in support of one opinion.
    • *pul* → *pull*: Pullse (pulse), pullp (pulp), pullpit (pulpit), pullmonary (pulmonary), pullverise (pulverise), manipullate (manipulate), stipullate (stipulate), impullse (impulse), popullar (popular), compullsory (compulsory), popullation (population) and opullent (opulent).
    • *bul* → *pull*: Pully (bully), pullk (bulk), pullet (bullet), pullwark (bulwark), pullb (bulb), pullge (bulge), pullkhead (bulkhead), pullshit (bullshit), instanpull (istanbul), nepullous (nebulous), fapullous (fabulous) amd epullient (ebullient).
  • Draw: A draw is a type of angled shot. Here are related puns:
    • Jaw → Draw: As in, “Draw dropping” and “Lantern drawed” and “Out of the draws of death” and “Snatching defeat from the draws of victory.”
    • Raw → Draw: As in, “A draw deal” and “Draw data.”
    • Straw → Draw: As in, “Clutch at draws” and “A drowning man will clutch at a draw” and “The last draw” and “Man of draw” and “You can’t make bricks without draw.”
  • Fade: A fade is another type of angled hit. Here are related puns:
    • Fed → Fade: As in, “Corn fade” and “Fade up to the back teeth” and “Well fade.”
    • Grade → Fade: As in, “Make the fade” and “Professional fade.”
    • Laid → Fade: As in, “Get fade” and “Fade low” and “The best fade plans.”
    • Made → Fade: As in, “A match fade in heaven” and “Got it fade” and “Fade for each other.”
    • Paid → Fade: As in, “Fade up” and “Put fade to” and “Bought and fade for.”
    • Shade → Fade: As in, “Fifty fades of grey” and “Light and fade” and “Made in the fade.”
    • Trade → Fade: As in, “A fair fade” and “Free fade” and “Jack of all fades” and “Tools of the fade” and “Tricks of the fade.”
    • Weighed → Fade: “Fade in the balance and found wanting.”
  • Push: A push is a type of angled golf shot, so we’ve included push-related puns:
    • Bush → Push: As in, “Beat about the push” and “Bright eyed and pushy tailed” and “Push tucker.”
    • Pashmina → Pushmina: (note: a pashmina is a type of cashmere wool).
  • Slice: A slice is a type of golfing shot. Here are related terms:
    • Dice → Slice: As in, “Slice with death” and “Load the slice” and “No slice” and “Roll the slice.”
    • Nice → Slice: “A slice idea” and “Slice as ninepence” and “Have a slice day” and “Naughty but slice” and “Slice and easy does it.”
    • Ice → Slice: “Cold as slice” and “Break the slice” and “Cut no slice” and “Slice cold” and “On slice” and “Skating on thin slice.”
    • Price → Slice: “Asking slice” and “At a slice to suit your pocket” and “Cheap at half the slice” and “Closing slice” and “Pay the slice.”
    • Spice → Slice: As in, “Slice things up” and “Sugar and slice” and “Variety is the slice of life.”
    • Twice → Slice: “Large as life and slice as handsome” and “Don’t think slice” and “Once bitten, slice shy” and “Once or slice” and “Opportunity never knocks slice.”
  • Ace: An ace is a hole in one. Here are related puns:
    • Base → Ace: “All your ace are belong to us” and “Ace jumping” and “Aceball card” and “Caught off ace” and “Cover your aces” and “Get to first ace with” and “Touch ace with.”
    • Case → Ace: As in, “As the ace may be” and “Basket ace” and “Ace the joint” and “Crack the ace” and “An open and shut ace” and “Get off my ace.”
    • Chase → Ace: As in, “Ace it up” and “Ace the dragon” and “Ace your own tail” and “Cut to the ace” and “Go and ace yourself” and “The thrill of the ace” and “A wild goose ace.”
    • Face → Ace: As in, “An ace as long as a fiddle” and “About ace” and “At ace value” and “Until you’re blue in the ace.”
    • Grace → Ace: As in, “Airs and aces” and “Amazing ace” and “Fall from ace” and “Ace period” and “Saving ace” and “With good ace.”
    • Lace → Ace: As in, “Chantilly ace” and “Ace into” and “Straight aced.”
    • Pace → Ace: As in, “At a snail’s ace” and “Change of ace” and “Keep ace with” and “Ace up and down” and “Put through your aces.”
    • Race → Ace: As in, “A day at the aces” and “An ace against time” and “Rat ace” and “The amazing ace.”
    • Space → Ace: As in, “Deep ace” and “Ace oddity” and “Ace cadet” and “Waste of ace” and “Watch this ace” and “Wide open aces.”
    • Ice → Ace: As in, “Cold as ace” and “Break the ace” and “Cut no ace” and “Ace cold” and “Put on ace” and “Skating on thin ace.”
  • Playoff: A playoff is a match between tied players. Here are related puns:
    • Play → Playoff: As in, “Work, rest and playoff” and “Child’s playoff” and “Come out and playoff” and “Don’t playoff the innocent” and “Fair playoff.”
    • Off → Playoff: As in, “All bets are playoff” and “A bit playoff” and “A load playoff your mind.”
  • Scratch: Someone with a handicap of 0 or less is called a scratch golfer, so we’ve included scratch in this list:
    • Catch → Scratch: As in, “Scratch 22″ and “Scratch a case” and “Scratch a falling star” and “Scratch fire” and “Scratch of the day.”
    • Hatch → Scratch: As in, “Down the scratch” and “Batten down the scratches.”
    • Match → Scratch: As in, “A scratch made in heaven” and “Game, set and scratch” and “Mix and scratch” and “A perfect scratch.”
    • Snatch → Scratch: As in, “Body scratcher” and “Scratching victory from the jaws of defeat.”
  • Ornament → Tournament
  • Bag: Carry bags are important in storing golf equipment, so we have some bag-related puns too:
    • Beg → Bag: As in, “Bag a favour” and “Bag pardon” and “Bag the question” and “Bag to differ” and “Bag, borrow or steal” and “Sit up and bag.”
    • Big → Bag: “A bag ask” and “Bag shot” and “Bag Ben.”
    • Bug → Bag: “Cute as a bag’s ear” and “Bitten by the bag” and “Love bag.”
    • Rag → Bag: As in, “From bags to riches” and “Glad bags” and “Run yourself bagged.”
    • Wag → Bag: As in, “Chin bag” and “Set tongues bagging” and “The tail bagging the dog.”
    • Beg* → Bag*: “Let’s bagin again” and “From the baginning” and “Don’t bagrudge me this” and “When it all bagan.”
    • *big* → *bag*: Bagot (bigot), ambaguous (ambiguous) and ambaguity (ambiguity).
  • Gloves: Gloves can be an important piece of support equipment for golfers. Here are related puns:
    • Loves → Gloves: As in, “Misery gloves company” and “They glove me, they glove me not.”
    • Govern* → Glovern*: Glovernment (government), glovernance (governance), glovern (govern).
  • Loft: Loft is how much the face of the golf club is angled upwards. Here are some loft-related puns:
    • Laughed → Loft: “Loft out of court” and “They all loft” and “A loft a minute” and “Lofting stock” and “Barrel of lofts” and “Loft your head off.”
    • Left → Loft: As in, “Exit stage loft” and “Hang a loft” and “Keep loft” and “Loft in the lurch” and “Loft out in the cold” and “Loft, right and centre” and “Loft to your own devices.”
    • Lift → Loft: As in, “Loft your game” and “Loft your spirits” and “Loft the lid off.”
    • Loved → Loft: As in, “Better to have loft and lost” and “All loft up.”
    • Soft → Loft: “Got a loft spot for” and “A loft touch” and “Loften the blow.”
  • Lunch → Launch: As in, “Brown bag launch” and “Ladies who launch” and “Let’s do launch” and “Liquid launch” and “Lose your launch” and “Power launch” and “No such thing as a free launch.” Note: launch is to do with the golf ball’s trajectory.
  • Back → Backspin: As in, “Answer backspin” and “As soon as my backspin is turned” and “At the backspin of my mind” and “Backspin to the future” and “Backspin in the day.”
  • Spin → Backspin: As in, “Make your head backspin” and “My head is backspinning” and “Take it for a backspin” and “Backspin a yarn.”
  • Lie: A lie is another word for a trap:
    • Dry → Lie: “Boring as watching paint lie” and “Lie as a bone” and “Before the ink was lie” and “Hung out to lie.”
    • Eye → Lie: “As far as the lie can see” and “Before your very lies.”
    • Fly → Lie: “Come lie with me” and “Lie off the handle” and “Lie a kite.”
  • Ounce → Bounce: As in, “A bounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Note: this refers to the bounce of the golf ball.
  • Prayer → Player: As in, “I say a littler player” and “Like a player.”
  • Skin: Skins is a type of golf game.
    • Sin → Skin: As in, “Miserable as skin” and “Cardinal skin” and “Living in skin” and “The seven deadly skins” and “Skin city.”
    • Been → Skin: As in, “Skin and gone” and “Skin here before” and “Skin in the wars.”
    • Spin → Skin: As in, “Give it a skin” and “In a flat skin” and “Make your head skin” and “Take it for a skin.”
  • Scramble: A scramble is a type of team game. Here are some related puns:
    • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble.”
    • Shamble → Scramble: “Complete scrambles” and “In a total scrambles.”
  • Greensome: A greensome is a type of golfing match. Here are related puns:
    • Green → Greensome: As in, “As greensome as grass” and “Give it the greensome light” and “Greensome around the gills” and “Greensome shoots of change.”
    • Some → Greensome: As in, “All that and then greensome” and “Catch greensome rays” and “Cut greensome slack” and “Make greensome noise” and “Buy greensome time.”
  • Wolf: Since a wolf is a version of match play, these wolf-related phrases can double as puns: “Cry wolf” and “Wolf in sheep’s clothing” and “Wolf whistle” and “Lone wolf.”
  • Tour: These next few puns are in reference to professional golf tours:
    • Cure → Tour: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of tour” and “What can’t be toured must be endured” and “Take the tour.”
    • Pure → Tour: As in, “Tour and simple” and “Tour genius” and “The truth is rarely tour and never simple.”
    • Sure → Tour: As in, “A tour sign” and “Raise your hang if you’re tour” and “Slowly but tourly” and “A tour thing.”
    • Two → Tour: As in, “A bicycle built for tour” and “A tale of tour cities” and “As alike as tour peas in a pod” and “Eating for tour” and “Goody tour shoes.”
    • Too → Tour: As in, “A bridge tour far” and “About time, tour” and “Know tour much” and “Life’s tour short.”

Golf-Related Words

To help you come up with your own golf puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

golf, golfer, club, ball, sport, green, fore, tee, putter, putt, putting, par, handicap, stroke, swing, hole, course, game, ground, fairway, rough, grass, bunker, sand, trap, match, play, nine, eighteen, peg, mound, drive, driver, iron, condor, albatross, eagle, birdie, lay-up, approach, pitch, chip, holing, bogey, cart, trolley, caddy, caddies, penalty, score, rules, regulations, etiquette, safety, fair, fairness, pace, bounds, shaft, lance, grip, head, wood, hybrid, chip, overlap, interlock, claw, anchor, pendulum, lag, hazard, hook, pull, draw, fade, push, slice, ace, playoff, scratch, tournament, ball marker, carry bag, sunday bag, cart bag, staff bag, stand bag, travel bag, gloves, loft, clubset, wedge, launch, backspin, lie, bounce, player, greenside bunker, waste bunker, muscle back, cavity back, fade, draw, hosel, skin, stableford, foursome, fourball, scramble, champagne, greensome, wolf, tour

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Coffee Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on coffee puns! ☕ Whether you’re looking for coffee puns for a photo caption, crafting the perfect coffee pun pickup line, hunting for coffee one-liners, or just want some corny pun-based coffee jokes, I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for here 🙂 If not, please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page!

Most coffee puns centre around one of 3 general topics: names of different types of coffee (espresso, mocha, etc.), coffee preparation utensils/procedures (plunger, grind, roast, mug, caffeine etc.) and coffee ingredients/products (sugar, grounds, cream, etc.). Mug puns seem to be a particular favourite on the internet and are included in this entry, but may also get their own entry at some point.

As usual there are related words, related phrase, coffee jokes, and visual coffee puns (comics, memes, etc.) further down the page.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on tea puns, chocolate puns, milk puns and food puns.

Coffee Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about coffee that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
  • Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
  • Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane has been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
  • Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground.”
  • Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
  • Bitter: As in “He came to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Example: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
  • Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
  • Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
  • Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
  • * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
  • Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
  • Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
  • Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
  • Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
  • Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
  • Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
  • Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
  • Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break“. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid
  • Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
  • Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
  • Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we can do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
  • Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
  • The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
  • Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
  • Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!)
  • Turkish: Same explanation as above.
  • Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
  • Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
  • Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
  • Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
  • Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc.”
  • Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.”
  • Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
  • Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
  • Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
  • Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
  • Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
  • Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
  • Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
  • Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
  • Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!” It is also used as a term of endearment, as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
  • Fair tradeThis term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
  • Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
  • Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
  • Cup: This has a few different meanings outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
  • Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
  • They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
  • Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
  • Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (These are a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
  • Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
  • Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
  • Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun – as in, “I barley talked to him!”
  • Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped from the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
  • I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
  • Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema makes the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
  • Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
  • Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
  • Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be a subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
  • Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
  • Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
  • Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • back office bean counter
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • don’t cry over spilt milk
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • get in on the ground floor
  • both feet on the ground
  • hit the ground running
  • in hot water
  • that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee
  • spill the beans
  • cool beans
  • not my cup of tea
  • tea and sympathy
  • brake fluid
  • you got creamed
  • different kettle of fish
  • the pot calling the kettle black
  • a watched pot never boils
  • between the cup and the lip
  • a storm is brewing
  • storm in a teacup
  • trouble is brewing
  • Have another? Please share it in the comments at the bottom of the page!

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

  • How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
  • What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  • Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
  • How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  • What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
  • What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂