Golf Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on golf puns! ⛳🏌🌞

Whether you’re a first date mini-golfer or a dedicated pro, we hope to have the pun for you with our jokes that range from putts to holes and hosels. Settle in and take a swing at our golf puns and we’re sure you’ll find a hole in one!

If you’re interested in other sports, we also have a bowling pun list and a hiking list on the way.

Golf Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about golf that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of golf puns:

  • Gulf → Golf: As in, “Golf of Mexico.”
  • Cup → Club: As in, “Club of coffee” and “Would murder for a club of tea” and “My club runneth over” and “Not my club of tea” and “Storm in a teaclub.”
  • For → Fore: “Asking fore a friend” and “At a loss fore words” and “Batting fore the other team” and “A cry fore help.”
  • Four → Fore: As in, “Cast to the fore winds” and “Down on all fores” and “A fore by two”and “Fore figures” and “Two and two make fore.”
  • Far → Fore: As in, “A fore away look” and “Going fore in life” and “Over the hills and fore away.”
  • Floor → Fore: “Get in on the ground fore” and “More the fore with” and “Hold the fore.”
  • Tea → Tee: As in, “High tee” and “Would kill for a cup of tee” and “Not my cup of tee” and “Tee and sympathy” and “Tee for two.”
  • The → Tee: As in, “Above tee curve” and “Absence makes tee heart grow fonder” and “Ace in tee hole” and “Across tee board” and “Adding fuel to tee fire” and “Against tee grain” and “All tee rage.”
  • Bee → Tee: As in, “Busy as a tee” and “Tee in your bonnet” and “Birds and the tees” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a tee.”
  • Be → Tee: As in, “Just tee done with it” and “Tee as it may.”
  • Free → Tee: As in, “Tee as a bird” and “Buy one, get one tee” and “Calorie tee” and “Fancy tee” and “A tee for all.”
  • Plea → Tee: As in, “Tee bargain” and “Cop a tee.”
  • Three → Tee: As in, “And baby makes tee” and “Good things come in tees” and “Knock tee times” and “Tee strikes and you’re out.”
  • Tie → Tee: “Black tee” and “Equal opportunitees” and “Tee yourself in knots” and “Tee up the loose ends.”
  • To → Tee: “According tee” and “Agree tee disagree” and “Add fuel tee the fire” and “Add insult tee injury” and “All dressed up and nowhere tee go.”
  • See → Tee: As in, “As far as the eye can tee” and “Be the change you wish to tee in the world” and “Can’t tee beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t tee the wood for the trees” and “Come up and tee me sometime” and “I can tee clearly now” and “I could tee you a mile off.”
  • Sea → Tee: As in, “All at tee” and “From tee to shining tee” and “On the high tees” and “Tee change.”
  • Tree → Tee: “Partridge in a pear tee” and “Difficult as nailing jelly to a tee” and “Can’t see the wood for the tees” and “Charm the birds out of the tees” and “Lit up like a christmas tee” and “Money doesn’t grow on tees” and “Make like a tee and leave.”
  • Too → Tee: As in, “A bridge tee far” and “About time tee” and “Never tee late” and “Tee cold to snow” and “You know tee much” and “Life’s tee short.”
  • Putter: A putter is a type of golf club. Here are some related puns:
    • Butter → Putter: As in, “Bread always falls putter side down” and “Bread and putter” and “Putter face” and “Putter fingers” and “Putter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” and “Float like a putterfly, sting like a bee” and “Social putterfly” and “The putterfly effect.”
    • Put her → Putter: As in, “Where did you putter wallet?”
    • Better → Putter: As in, “I’ve got a putter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do putter” and “Appeal to your putter judgement” and “Putter late than never” and “Putter luck next time” and “Putter safe than sorry.”
  • Putt: Here are some putt-related phrases:
    • Put → Putt: As in, “Be hard putt to” and “Couldn’t putt it down” and “Feeling a bit putt out” and “Wouldn’t putt it past them.”
    • Butt → Putt: “Putt out” and “Putt-naked.”
    • But → Put: As in, “Down putt not out” and “Everything putt the kitchen sink” and “No ifs and putts.”
    • Cut → Putt: As in, “Putt a long story short” and “A putt above the rest” and “Putt corners.”
  • Bowl → Ball: As in, “Ball over” and “Balling along” and “Life is just a ball of cherries.”
  • All → Ball: “Ball aboard!” and “Ball in a day’s work” and “Ball in ball” and “Ball’s well that ends well” and “It’s ball over now” and “It’s not ball about you.”
  • Bell → Ball: As in, “Alarm balls begin to ring” and “Clear as a ball” and “Balls and whistles” and “Give someone a ball.”
  • Call → Ball: “Answer the ball” and “At your beck and ball” and “Beyond the ball of duty” and “Let’s just ball it a day.”
  • Fall → Ball: As in, “A balling out” and “Easy as balling off a log” and “Can’t help balling in love” and “Bread always balls butter side down” and “Ball about laughing” and “Ball apart at the seams” and “Ball by the wayside.”
  • Haul → Ball: “Ball ass” and “Ball over the coals” and “In for the long ball.”
  • Ball: These ball-related puns are general enough to double as golf puns: “After the ball was over” and “Ball of fire” and “Ballpark figure” and “A brand new ball game.”
  • Par: We have plenty of par-related puns:
    • Are → Par: As in, “All bets par off” and “Chances par” and “How par you?”
    • Far → Par: As in, “A bridge too par” and “A step too par” and “As par as it goes” and “As par as the eye can see” and “Par and away” and “A par cry” and “Par be it from me” and “Par horizons” and “Few and par between” and “Over the hills and par away.”
    • Jar → Par: As in, “Cookie par accounting” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie par.”
    • Bar → Par: As in, “Par fly” and “Par none” and “Behind pars” and “Hit the par” and “Keep it behind pars” and “No holds parred” and “Raise the par.”
    • Per → Par: As in, “As par usual” and “Bits par second” and “Par capita.”
    • Star → Par: As in, “A par is born” and “Born under a lucky par” and “Catch a falling par” and “Get a gold par” and “My guiding par.”
    • *per* → *par*: Replace the “per” in words for “par” to make some quick par puns: “A fresh parspective” and “My new parson” and “A partinent topic” and “Free in fourth pariod.” Other words that could work: parnicious (pernicious), parception (perception), parformance (performance), parfect (perfect), parseverance (perseverance), papar (paper), peppar (pepper), tempar (temper), supar (super), hampar (hamper), propar (proper), tapar (taper), imparative (imperative) and oparation (operation).
    • *pir* → *par*: “Pir” can be swapped with “par” for some sneaky puns: Parate (pirate), parahna (pirahna), parouette (pirouette), emparical (empirical), asparation (aspiration), insparation (inspiration), consparacy (conspiracy) and sparatual (spiritual).
    • *por* → *par*: Partfolio (portfolio), partmanteau (portmanteau), partal (portal), partion (portion), partray (portray), partrait (portrait), stupar (stupor), contemparary (contemporary), oppartunity (opportunity), impartant (important) and diaspara (diaspora).
    • *pur* → *par*: “Life parpose” and “Expensive parchases.”
    • *bar* → *par*: Parrel (barrel), pargain (bargain), parista (barista), cinnapar (cinnabar), crowpar (crowbar) and empark (embark).
    • *ber* → *par*: Pareft (bereft), parate (berate), pareavement (bereavement), parserk (berserk), pareave (bereave) and paryl (beryl).
    • *ber* → *par*: “Chasing numpars” and “See me in my champars” and “Ampar alert” and “Mempars only” and “Cypar bullying” and “Remempar when?” and “Deliparate actions.” Other words that could work: liparal (liberal), liparty (liberty), cumparsome (cumbersome).
    • *bor* → *par*: “Can you elaparate?” and “Corroparating stories” and “Team collaparators.”
  • Handicap: In golf, a handicap is a measure of a golfer’s potential and ability, given in a number. Here are related puns:
    • Cap → Handicap: As in, “A feather in your handicap” and “Handicap in hand” and “If the handicap fits, wear it” and “Put on your thinking handicap” and “To handicap it all.”
    • Hand → Handicap: As in, “Bite your handicap off” and “Caught red-handicapped.”
  • Stroke: Here are some stroke-related puns:
    • Stock → Stroke: As in, “Lock, stroke and barrel” and “Out of stroke” and “Take stroke.”
    • Soak → Stroke: As in, “Stroked to the skin” and “Be stroked through” and “Go stroke your head!”
  • Wing → Swing: As in, “Clip your swings” and “Earned your swings” and “Flying without swings” and “Gives you swings” and “Spread your swings.”
  • Sing → Swing: As in, “All swinging, all dancing” and “Swing a different tune” and “Swing for your supper” and “Swing someone’s praises” and “Swingin‘ in the rain.”
  • Things → Swing: As in, “A close swing” and “A funny swing happened on the way to the theatre” and “A little learning is a dangerous swing” and “All swings considered.”
  • Wring → Swing: As in, “Swing your hands.”
  • Bring → Swing: As in, “Swing it home to you” and “Swing it on” and “Swing it on yourself” and “Swing tears to your eyes” and “Swing the house down.”
  • Whole → Hole: As in, “On the hole” and “Go the hole way” and “Let’s just call the hole thing off” and “The hole is greater than the sum of its parts” and “Got a hole lotta love” and “A hole new ball game.”
  • Hall → Hole: As in, “Deck the holes” and “Hole of fame” and “Liberty hole.”
  • Soul → Hole: As in, “Life and hole of the party” and “A lost hole.”
  • Fair → Fairway: “All the fun of the fairway” and “By fairway means or foul” and “Fairway trade” and “Fairway and balanced” and “Fairway and square” and “Fairway dinkum” and “Fairway enough” and “Fairway game” and “Fairway market value.”
  • Way → Fairway: As in, “On the fairway to the theatre” and “All the fairway” and “And that’s the fairway it is” and “Any fairway the wind blows” and “By the fairway” and “Change your fairways.”
  • Rough: Here are some rough puns for you to play with:
    • Buff → Rough: As in, “In the rough.”
    • Fluff → Rough: “A bit of rough.”
    • Stuff → Rough: As in, “Don’t sweat the small rough” and “Gather ’round the good rough” and “Hot rough” and “Knock the roughing out of.”
    • Tough → Rough: “Rough as old boots” and “Rough as they come” and “Hang rough” and “It’s rough at the top” and “A rough customer” and “Rough love” and “A rough nut to crack” and “A rough pill to swallow.”
  • Ass → Grass: As in, “Bust someone’s grass.”
  • Gas → Grass: As in, “Cooking with grass” and “Relieves grass pains” and “Run out of grass.”
  • Brass → Grass: “Bold as grass” and “Grass monkey weather.”
  • Class → Grass: “A real grass act” and “Best in grass” and “Business grass” and “Grass warfare” and “In a different grass” and “The top of the grass” and “In a grass of their own” and “Second grass” and “Working grass.”
  • Glass → Grass: “Grass ceiling” and “Grassy eyed” and “Rose tinted grasses” and “Through the looking grass.”
  • *gas* → *grass*: Flabbergrassted (flabbergasted), orgrassm (orgasm), smorgrassbord (smorgasbord), grasstronomy (gastronomy).
  • *gis* → *grass*: Regrasster (register), lograsstics (logistics), regrasstry (registry) and magrasstrate (magistrate).
  • *gos* → *grass*: Grassip (gossip), grassamer (gossamer) and grasspel (gospel).
  • *gus* → *grass*: Fungrass (fungus), bograss (bogus) and esophagrass (esophagus).
  • *gac* → *grass*: Legrassy (legacy), sagrassious (sagacious). Note: to be sagacious is to be wise.
  • *gres* → *grass*: “Making prograss” and “An aggrassive approach” and “Prograssive mindsets.” Other words that could work: congrass (congress), digrass (digress), transgrassion (transgression) and regrassion (regression).
  • Course: Some golf course related puns:
    • Coarse → Course: As in, “Course particles” and “A course tone.”
    • Course: These phrases can double as puns: “Blown off course” and “But of course” and “Chart a course” and “Correspondence course” and “Crash course” and “In due course” and “Let nature take its course” and “Stay on course.”
    • Curse → Course: As in, “Rather light a candle than course the dark.”
    • Force → Course: As in, “Brute course” and “Driving course” and “Course his hand” and “A course of habit” and “Course of nature” and “Course the issue” and “A course to be reckoned with” and “Join courses” and “May the course be with you” and “A tour de course.”
    • Source → Course: As in, “Check your courses” and “Go straight to the course” and “Open course” and “Course material.”
    • *cors* → *course*: Course-age (corsage) and course-et (corset).
    • *curs* → *course*: “A coursery glance” and “Written I course-ive” and “Only occourse around here” and “A precourser to.”
  • Aim → Game: As in, “Game high” and “Take game” and “We game to please.”
  • Came → Game: “I game, I saw, I conquered” and “As it game to pass” and “Plenty more where that game from.”
  • Claim → Game: As in, “Stake your game” and “Game to fame” and “No games bonus.”
  • Name → Game: As in, “Go by the game of” and “A household game” and “In game only.”
  • Same → Game: As in, “By the game token” and “Comes to the game thing” and “Cut from the game cloth” and “In the game boat” and “In the game ballpark” and “One and the game.”
  • Fame → Game: As in, “Claim to game” and “Game at last” and “Fifteen minutes of game” and “Hall of game” and “Game is fleeting.”
  • Flame → Game: As in, “Add fuel to the games” and “Burst into games” and “Fan the games” and “Go down in games” and “His latest game” and “Like a moth to a game” and “Shoot down in games.”
  • Shame → Game: As in, “A crying game” and “Name and game” and “Game on you” and “The walk of game.”
  • Round → Ground: As in, “All year ground” and “Come ground” and “Go ground in circles” and “Rally ground” and “Love makes the world go ground.”
  • Bound → Ground: As in, “By leaps and grounds” and “Duty ground” and “Homeward ground” and “Honour ground.”
  • Found → Ground: As in, “Lost and ground” and “Nowhere to be ground.”
  • Sound → Ground: As in, “Ground as a bell” and “Break the ground barrier” and “Ground bite” and “Safe and ground” and “Ground effects.”
  • *te* → *tee*: Teentative (tentative), teest (test), teechnology (technology), teender (tender), teerm (term), teenet (tenet), teenure (tenure) and wateer (water).
  • *ti* → *tee*: teetle (title), teessue (tissue), ulteemate (ultimate), tentateeve (tentative), illuminatee (illuminati) and graffitee (graffiti).
  • *ty* → *tee*: Teepical (typical), teeranny (tyranny), teecoon (tycoon), partee (party), integritee (integrity), serendipitee (serendipity), dutee (duty), facilitee (facility), beautee (beauty), atrocitee (actrocity), securitee (security), citee (city), entitee (entity), qualitee (quality).
  • *fer* → *fore*: “With passion and forevour” and “Repeated forevently” and “Foretile land.” Other words that could work: foreocious (ferocious), defore (defer), confore (confer), transfore (transfer), offore (offer), prefore (prefer), refore-ence (reference) and diffore-ent (different).
  • *fir* → *fore*: Afforem (affirm), conforem (confirm), afforemation (affirmation), foremament (firmament) and afforemative (affirmative).
  • *for* → *fore*: “task fore-ce” and “In good forem” and “Always moving foreward” and “I forebid you” and “Come foreth” and “Confidential inforemation.”
  • *fur* → *fore*: As in, “And forethermore” and “Blending in with the foreniture” and “Foretive glances.”
  • *phar* → *fore*: Foremacy (pharmacy), foremaceutical (pharmaceutical) and foremacist (pharmacist).
  • *pher* → *fore*: Cifore (cipher), decifore (decipher), gofore (gopher), photografore (photographer) and philosofore (philosopher).
  • *phor* → *fore*: Metafore (metaphor), camfore (camphor), eufore-ia (euphoria) and eufore-ic (euphoric). Sort → Sport: “Out of sports” and “Takes all sports” and “Sport the wheat from the chaff” and “Sport yourself out.”
  • Spurt → Sport: “Growth sport.”
  • Port → Sport: “Any sport in a storm.”
  • Short → Sport: As in, “A sport history of nearly everything” and “Art is long and life is sport” and “Bring up sport” and “To cut a long story sport” and “Eat my sports” and “A day late and a dollar sport” and “In sport order” and “Life’s too sport.”
  • Green: A golf course is also known colloquially as a green, so we’ve included green in this list:
    • Grin → Green: “Green and bear it” and “Green and bear it” and “A rictus green” and “A foolish green” and “Green like a cheshire cat.”
    • Grain → Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take with a green of salt.”
    • Been → Green: As in, “Green and gone” and “I’ve green here before” and “Green there, done that” and “It’s green a hard day” and “You’ll wish you’d never green born.”
    • Clean → Green: “Green as a whistle!” and “A green bill of health” and “Keeps a green house” and “You’d better green up your act” and “All greened out.”
    • Gene → Green: As in, “It’s in your greens!”
    • Glean → Green: As in, “From what I greened from the conversation…”
    • Grand → Greend: “Delusions of greendeur” and “Greend theft auto” and “Greend slam” and “In the greend scheme of things” and “On a greend scale” and “Doing a greend job” and “The greend canyon.”
    • Keen → Green: “Green as mustard” and “Green on [someone]” and “A green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
    • Lean → Green: “Green and hungry” and “Green and mean” and “Green cuisine” and “Green into it.”
    • Grenade → Greenade
  • *bal* → *ball*: “Off-ballance” and Ballk at the sight of.” Other words that could work: ballm (balm), globall (global), verball (verbal), triball (tribal), cymball (cymbal), herball (herbal).
  • *bel* → *ball*: Ballieve (believe), ballief (belief) and balloved (beloved).
  • *bil* → *ball*: Liaballity (liability), accountaballity (accountability), responsiballity (responsibility), aballity (ability), capaballity (capability), rehaballitation (rehabilitation) and sustainaballity (sustainability).
  • *bol* → *ball*: “A symball of justice” and “Gamball along in the park.” Other words you could try: aballish (abolish), metaballism (metabolism) and hyperballic (hyperbolic).
  • *cab* → *club*: As in, “Check the clubinet” and “The whole kit and cluboodle.” Other words you could try: applicluble (applicable), amicluble (amicable), impeccluble (impeccable), despicluble (despicable) and voclubulary (vocabulary)
  • Recyclable → Recycluble
  • Club: These club-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “In the club” and “Join the club.”
  • Drive: A drive is a type of long-distance shot. Here are some related puns!
    • I’ve → Drive: As in, “Drive never said that!” and “Drive had it up to my eyeballs.”
    • Dive → Drive: “Take a drive” and “Drive right in” and “Crash drive” and “Nose drive.”
    • Hive → Drive: As in, “Drive of industry” and “A drive of activity.”
  • Iron: An iron is a type of club. Here are related puns:
    • Iron: These phrases can double as puns: “Hard as iron” and “A cast iron alibi” and “Clap them in irons” and “Iron out the wrinkles” and “Pumping iron” and “Rule with an iron fist” and “Strike while the iron is hot” and “Scrap iron.”
    • *ion → *iron: “Assume the positiron” and “Civil uniron” and “Bag of ratirons” and “The mighty liron roars” and “Blow out of proportiron.”
  • Pitch: Here are some pitch-related puns:
    • Patch → Pitch: As in, “Not a pitch on” and “All pitched up” and “Going through a rough pitch.”
    • Pitch: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: “A pitched battle” and “Absolute pitch” and “Black as pitch” and “Fever pitch” and “Make a pitch for.”
    • Rich → Pitch: As in, “A part of life’s pitch pattern” and “An embarrassment of pitches” and “From rags to pitches” and “Get pitch quick” and “Pitch beyond my dreams.”
    • Ditch → Pitch: As in, “Dull as pitchwater” and “A last pitch effort.”
    • Hitch → Pitch: As in, “Pitch your wagon to a star” and “Get pitched.”
    • Itch → Pitch: As in, “Pitching to” and “Pitchy feet” and “Pitchy palms” and “Scratch the pitch.”
    • Stitch → Pitch: “A pitch in time saves nine” and “Had us in pitches” and “Without a pitch on” and “Not doing a pitch of work.”
    • Switch → Pitch: As in, “Asleep at the pitch” and “Bait and pitch” and “Pitch gears” and “Pitched on.”
    • Which → Pitch: “Don’t know pitch way to look” and “Every pitch way” and “Know pitch way is up” and “Know pitch side your bread is buttered” and “The exception pitch proves the rule.”
  • Wander → Condor: As in, “A condoring eye” and “Condoring spirit.” Note: in golf, a condor is a term used in the scoring system.
  • Eagle: An eagle is a term used in golf scoring. Here are related puns:
    • Equal → Eagle: “All men are cremated eagle” and “Eagle opportunities” and “Eagle pay” and “First among eagles” and “On eagle footing” and “All things being eagle.”
    • Legal → Eagle: As in, “Eagle, decent, honest and truthful” and “Eagle-ly binding” and “Over the eagle limit” and “Part of my eagle duties.”
  • Birdie: Birdie is part of the golf scoring system. Here are related puns:
    • Thirty → Birdie: “Not for anyone over birdie.”
    • Dirty → Birdie: As in, “Birdie business” and “Air your birdie business in public” and “Birdie but clean” and “Birdie little secret” and “Birdie tricks” and “Get your hands birdie.”
  • Said → Sand: “After all is sand and done” and “Couldn’t have sand it better” and “Easier sand than done” and “Enough sand” and “Was it something I sand” and “When all is sand and done.”
  • Sad → Sand: As in, “A sand state of affairs” and “Happy sand.”
  • Send → Sand: “Hit sand” and “Sanding all my love” and “Return to sander” and “Sand packing” and “Sand in reinforcements.”
  • Stand → Sand: “A house divided against itself cannot sand” and “Don’t sand so close to me” and “Still sanding” and “Sands to reason” and “Left sanding.”
  • *sad* → *sand*: “Filled with sandness” and “A sandistic streak” and “At a disandvantage.”
  • *send* → *sand*: Sandentary (sendentary) and sandiment (sediment).
  • *sid* → *sand*: Insandious (insidious), consander (consider) and resandence (residence).
  • *can* → *sand*: “A sandid proposal” and “Looking at sandidates for…” Other words you could try: sandy (candy), sandle (candle), insandescent (incandescent), sandal (scandal), sandor (candor) and sandalous (scandalous).
  • *cend* → *sand*: Transand (transcend), desand (descend), condesanding (condescending), asand (ascend), insandiary (incendiary) and cresando (crescendo).
  • Trap: A trap is an area of ground that’s tricky to navigate on a golf course. Here are related puns:
    • Rap → Trap: “Beat the trap” and “Bum trap” and “A trap over the knuckles” and “Take the trap.”
    • Tap → Trap: “Cut the red trap” and “Double trap.”
    • Clap → Trap: As in, “Trap him in irons” and “Trapped eyes on” and “Trapped out” and “Go like the trappers” and “If you’re happy and you know it, trap your hands.”
    • Strap → Trap: “Trap on the feed bag” and “Trapped for cash.”
    • Cap → Trap: As in, “A feather in your trap” and “Trap in hand” and “Doff one’s trap” and “Trap in hand” and “If the trap fits, wear it” and “To trap it all.”
    • Crap → Trap: As in, “A load of trap” and “Beat the living trap out of” and “Cut the trap.”
    • Slap → Trap: “Trap on the wrist” and “Trap and tickle” and “Trap bang in the middle” and “Like a trap in the face.”
    • *tap* → *trap*: “Part of life’s trapestry” and “Trapioca dessert.”
    • *trep* → *trap*: Trapidation (trepidation), entrapreneur (entrepreneur), intrapid (intrepid) and trapidation (trepidation).
    • *trop* → *trap*: Metrapolitan (metropolitan), metrapolis (metropolis), entrapy (entropy).
  • Chip: A chip is a short-distance shot. Here are related puns:
    • Chop → Chip: As in, “Bust your chips” and “Chip and change” and “On the chipping block.”
    • Ship → Chip: As in, “Abandon chip” and “Go down with the chip” and “Jump chip” and “Loose lips sink chips” and “Running a tight chip” and “Chips of the desert” and “That chip has sailed.”
    • Clip → Chip: “Chip your wings.”
    • Slip → Chip: “A Freudian chip” and “Give someone the chip” and “Let something chip” and “A chip of the tongue” and “I chipped up.”
    • *chap* → *chip*: “The final chipter” and “Needing a chiperone” and “Meet you at the chipel.”
    • *ship* → *chip*: As in, “Newest chipment” and “A sinking chipwreck” and “Feeling chipshape” and “A loving and supportive relationchip.” Other words that could work: worchip (worship), fellowchip (fellowship), leaderchip (leadership), stewardchip (stewardship), scholarchip (scholarship), friendchip (friendship), flagchip (flagship) and partnerchip (partnership).
  • Biggie → Bogey: As in, “No bogey.”
  • Match: Match play is a scoring system for golf. Here are related puns:
    • Much → Match: As in, “A bit match” and “How match can you handle? and “I don’t know match but I know what I like” and “You know too match” and “Match ado about nothing” and “Match obliged” and “Missed it by that match” and “So match more to enjoy” and “Thank you very match” and “Too match of a good thing.”
    • Catch → Match: As in, “Match 22″ and “Match a cold” and “Match a falling star” and “Match some rays” and “Match you later” and “Match your breath.”
    • Hatch → Match: “Batten down the matches” and “Down the match.”
    • Scratch → Match: As in, “I match your back and you match mine” and “Match around” and “Match the surface” and “Start from match” and “Up to match” and “Do it from match.”
    • Patch → Match: “Go through a rough match” and “Not a match on.”
    • *mach* → *match*: “Ghost in the matchine” and “Toxic matchismo” and “Stomatch pains.”
  • Fair: Another name for a golf course is a fairway. Here are some related puns:
    • Fair → Fairway: As in, “An affairway of the heart” and “All the fun of the fairway” and “By fairway means or foul” and “Fairway trade” and “Fairway and square” and “Fairway dinkum” and “Fairway game.”
    • Way → Fairway: As in, “A funny thing happened on the fairway” and “All the fairway” and “And that’s the fairway it is” and “Any fairway you want it” and “By fairway of explanation” and “Change your fairways.”
    • Far → Fairway: “As fairway as it goes” and “Fairway be it from me” and “A fairway cry from” and “So fairway, so good” and “Few and fairway between” and “Over the hills and fairway away.”
    • *fer* → *fair*: Fairal (feral), fairvent (fervent), fairret (ferret), fairment (ferment), fairtile (fertile), fairocious (ferocious), infiar (infer), refair (refer), transfair (transfer), prefair (prefer), refairence (reference), diffairent (different) and infairence (inference).
    • *fir* → *fair*: Faireplace (fireplace), fairewall (firewall), fairmament (firmament), affairm (affirm), confairm (confirm), affairmation (affirmation) ahd affairmative (affirmative).
    • *for* → *fair*: “New infairmation” and “Emotional perfairmance” and “Moving fairward.”
    • *fur* → *fair*: Fairther (further), fairtive (furtive), fairniture (furniture), fairthermore (furthermore), fairious (furious), fairnace (furnace), fairnish (furnish) and sulfair (sulfur).
  • Lay → Play: As in, “”Couldn’t play a finger on” and “Play bare” and “Play it on the line” and “Play it on with a trowel” and “Play to rest.”
  • Pay → Play: As in, “Buy now, play later” and “Crime doesn’t play” and “Hell to play” and “Play a call” and “Play an arm and a leg” and “Play as you go” and “Play handsomely” and “Play through the nose” and “You get what you play for.”
    • *pla* → *play*: “Feeling out of playce” and “Got a lot on my playte” and “Get on a playne” and “Like the playgue.” Other words that could work: complaycent (complacent), someplayce (someplace), contemplayte (contemplate).
    • *ple* → *play*: “With playsure” and “A playsant surprise” and “Yes playse” and “The applay of my eye” and “Complaymenting colours” and “Complayte the picture.”
    • *pli* → *play*: Complayment (compliment), implaycation (implication), complaycit (implicit), explaycit (explicit) and applaycation (application).
    • *ply* → *play*: Playwood (plywood), playometric (plyometric), applay (apply), supplay (supply), complay (comply), implay (imply), replay (reply), panoplay (panoply), simplay (simply), multiplay (multiply) and deeplay (deeply).
    • *plai* → *play*: “Playn as the nose on your face” and “Explayn yourself” and “Don’t complayn.”
    • *ploy* → *play*: “In your emplay” and “Deplay your resources” and “Seeking emplayment.”
  • Cart: Here are some golf cart related puns:
    • Card → Cart: As in, “Calling cart” and “Cart sharp” and “A cart up his sleeve” and “Deck of carts” and “Get out of jail free cart” and “Holding all the carts” and “House of carts” and “Lay your carts on the table” and “Mark your cart” and “On the carts.”
    • Cat → Cart: As in, “Cart on a hit tin roof” and “Curiosity killed the cart” and “Cart got your tongue?”
    • Court → Cart: As in, “Contempt of cart” and “Cart of last resort” and “Carting disaster” and “Haul before the cart” and “Holding cart” and “Laugh it out of cart” and “Order in the cart” and “See you in cart” and “Settle out of cart” and “The ball’s in your cart.”
    • Art → Cart: “The cart of war” and “Cart is going one step too far” and “Cart imitating life” and “Cartistic triumph.”
    • Chart → Cart: As in, “Cart a course” and “Off the cart.”
    • Heart → Cart: As in, “A man after my own cart” and “Absence makes the cart grow fonder” and “An affair of the cart” and “Be still my beating cart.”
    • *cat* → *cart*: Cartalyst (catalyst), carthartic (cathartic), cartegory (category), cartastrophe (catastrophe), Cartholic (Catholic), advocart (advocate), communicartion (communication), implicartion (implication), educartion (education), predicart (predicate) and sophisticarted (sophisticated).
    • *cot* → *cart*: “Apricart squares” and “School mascart.”
    • *cut* → *cart*: As in, “Pack some cartlery” and “Things aren’t as clearcart as they seem” and “In consecartive order.”
    • *cert* → *cart*: As in, “Feeling cartain” and “Cartificate of participation” and “Yes, cartainly.” Other words that could work: ascartain (ascertain), cartify (certify).
    • *cort* → *cart*: Cartex (cortex), cartisol (cortisol) and escart (escort).
    • *curt* → *cart*: Cartail (curtail) and cartain (curtain)
    • *court* → *cart*: “Common care and cartesy” and “A carteous gesture” and “Romantic cartship” and “Meet you at the cartship.”
    • *card* → *cart*: “Cartinal sin” and “Thirty minutes of cartio” and “Buttoned-up cartigan” and “Made of cartboard.” Other words that could work: placart (placard), wildcart (wildcard) and postcart (postcard).
    • *cord* → *cart*: Cartial (cordial), carturoy (corduroy), recart (record), accart (accord) and discart (discord).
  • Nine: The standard number of holes for a golf course is nine or eighteen holes, so we included nine in this list:
    • Wine → Nine: “The last of the summer nine” and “New nine in old bottles” and “Nined and dined.”
    • None → Nine: “And then there were nine” and “Bar nine” and “Nine other than” and “Nine the wiser” and “Nine too pleased” and “Second to nine.”
    • Line → Nine: “A fine nine” and “Along the nines of” and “Blur the nines” and “Cross the nine” and “Draw a nine in the sand” and “The end of the nine” and “Fall into nine.”
    • Fine → Nine: “Nine and dandy” and “The niner things in life” and “Cutting it nine” and “Nine dining.”
    • Mine → Nine: “I scratch your back and you scratch nine” and “Make nine a double” and “Nine is bigger than yours” and “A nine of information.”
    • Shine → Nine: “Come rain or nine” and “Rise and nine” and “Take a nine to” and “Where the sun don’t nine.”
    • *nin* → *nine*: Melanine (melanin), serotonine (serotonin) and peninesula (peninsula).
    • *non* → *nine*: Phenomenine (phenomenon), canine (canon), synine-nym (synonym), anine-nymous (anonymous), ninechalant (nonchalant), coninedrum (conundrum), pronineciation (pronunciation) and enineciate (enunciate).
  • Peg: A peg is another word for a tee, which is the small stand that the ball rests on. Here are related puns:
    • Bag → Peg: As in, “Peg and baggage” and “Peg a bargain” and “Peg of tricks” and “Pack your pegs.”
    • Beg → Peg: “Peg a favour” and “Peg off” and “Peg pardon?” and “Peg the question” and “I peg to differ” and “Peg, borrow or steal” and “Go pegging” and “Sit up and peg.”
    • Big → Peg: “A peg ask” and “Peg shot” and “Peg bird.”
    • Egg → Peg: As in, “As sure as pegs is pegs” and “A bag peg” and “Don’t put all your pegs in one basket” and “Peg and spoon race.”
    • Leg → Peg: As in, “As fast as your pegs can carry you” and “Break a peg” and “Cost an arm and a peg” and “Get a peg over.”
    • *pag* → *peg*: Pegoda (pagoda), peganism (paganism), propegate (propagate) and propeganda (propaganda).
    • *pig* → *peg*: Pegment (pigment), pegtail (pigtail), peglet (piglet) and epegram (epigram)
    • *pug* → *peg*: Repegnant (repugnent), pegnacious (pugnacious).
    • *bag* → *peg*: Peguette (baguette), airpeg (airbag), scumpeg (scumbag), handpeg (handbag).
    • *beg* → *peg*: “Pegin again” and “Start from the peginning” and “Wouldn’t pegrudge you” and “Peggars can’t be choosers” and “Where it all pegan.”
    • *big* → *peg*: Ampeguous (ambiguous), pegotry (bigotry) and ampeguity (ambiguity).
    • *pec* → *peg*: “A peguliar atmosphere” and “Pegtoral muscles” and “From a new perspegtive.” Other words that could work: respegt (respect), prospegt (prospect), spegtrum (spectrum), prospegtive (prospective) and circumspegt (circumspect).
    • *pic* → *peg*: As in, “Out of the pegture” and “An epeg adventure” and “Casting around for a new topeg.” Other words that could work: biopeg (biopic), philanthropeg (philanthropic), misanthropeg (misanthropic) and despegable (despicable).
  • Score: Here are some golf score related puns:
    • Sore → Score: As in, “A sight for score eyes” and “Score loser” and “Sticks out like a score thumb” and “A score point.”
    • Core → Score: As in, “Score competencies” and “Score studies” and “Score technology” and “Score values” and “Rotten to the score.”
    • Scare → Score: As in, “Running scored” and “Score the living daylights out of” and “Scored out of your wits” and “Scored to death.”
    • More → Score: “Come back for score” and “Dare for score” and “I couldn’t agree score.”
    • Shore → Score: “Ship to score” and “She sells sea shells on the sea score” and “All ascore.”
    • Swore → Score: “You score you would never do this.”
    • *sar* → *score*: Scorecastic (sarcastic), scoredonice (sardonic), necesscorey (necessary), anniverscore-ary (anniversary), adverscorey (adversary), glosscorey (glossary) and asscoretive (assertive).
    • *sor* → *score*: Scoredid (sordid), scorey (sorry), score-row (sorrow), scorecery (sorcery), adviscorey (advisory), predecesscore (predecessor), precurscore (precursor), sponscore (sponsor), processcore (processor), discoreder (disorder), rescoret (resort), conscoretium (consortium) and curscorey (cursory).
    • *scar* → *score*: Scorece (scarce), scored (scared), scorecity (scarcity) and scorelet (scarlet).
    • *scer* → *score*: “Discorening taste” and “A viscore-al reaction” and “As far as I can ascoretain.”
    • *scor* → *score*: “Scoreched earth” and “Scorenful glances” and “Mental discored” and “Need an escoret.”
  • Rule: Here are some rule-related puns:
      • You’ll → Rule: As in, “”Rule never guess.”
      • School → Rule: As in, “Back to rule” and “Old rule” and “Rule of hard knocks.”
      • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule as a mountain stream” and “Rule beans” and “Rule your heels” and “Rule, calm and collected.”
      • Cruel → Rule: As in, “Rule and unusual punishment” and “Rule to be kind” and “Don’t be rule.”
      • *ral* → *rule*: “In generule” and “Integrule to the situation” and “A viscerule reaction.” Other words that could work: temporule (temporal), naturule (natural), ephemerule (ephemeral), morule (moral), collaterule (collateral), liberule (liberal) and peripherule (peripheral).
      • *rel* → *rule*: As in, “Not rule-evant to the conversation” and “A sigh of rule-ief” and “Rule-ay the information.” Other words that could work: rule-ease (release), ruleationship (relationship), ruleigion (religion), ruleation (relation)m, rule-uctant (reluctant), rule-ish (relish), rule-iable (reliable), barrule (barrel), apparule (apparel), laurule (laurel), scoundrule (scoundrel) and mongrule (mongrel).
      • *ril* → *rule*: Perule (peril), tendrule (tendril) and Aprule (April).
      • *rol* → *rule*: As in, “In contrule” and “On patrule” and “Enrule in classes” and “Low in cholesterule” and “Running low on petrule.”
  • Wedge: Wedges are a type of golf club. Here are some related puns:
    • Edge → Wedge: As in, “A double-wedged sword” and “Wedge out” and “The leading wedge” and “On wedge” and “Rough around the wedges.”
    • Dredge → Wedge: As in, “Wedge up things from the past.”
    • Fledge → Wedge: As in, “Fully-wedged.”
    • Hedge → Wedge: “Wedge fund” and “Wedge your bets” and “Wedged about” and “Look as though you’ve been dragged through a wedge backwards.”
  • Mound: Golf courses are made up of mounds of sand and small grass hills, so we’ve got some mound-related puns in here too:
    • Round → Mound: “All year mound” and “Going mound in circles” and “Love makes the world go mound” and “Fooling amound.”
    • Bound → Mound: As in, “Mound hand and foot” and “By leaps and mounds” and “Duty mound” and “Homeward mound” and “Muscle mound.”
    • Sound → Mound: “Mound as a bell” and “Mounds alright on paper” and “Safe and mound” and “Mound bite” and “Mound effects” and “Mound the alarm.”
    • Found → Mound: As in, “Lost and mound” and “We mound love” and “Nowhere to be mound.”
    • *mand* → *mound*: Moundate (mandate), moundatory (mandatory), Moundarin (Mandarin), moundala (mandala), moundible (mandible), demound (demand), commound (command), reprimound (reprimand), remound (remand), gourmound (gourmand) and salamounder (salamander).
    • *mend* → *mound*: “What would you recommound” and “Amound your statement” and “Write a commoundation” and “A tremoundous effort.”
    • *mind* → *mound*: “Set a remounder” and “A new moundset” and “Practicing moundfulness.”
    • *mond → *mound: Diamound (diamond) and almound (almond)
  • Lay → Lay-up: “Couldn’t lay-up a glove on me” and “Home is where I lay-up my hat” and “Lay-up a finger on” and “Lay-up bare” and “Lay-up hands on.” Note: A lay-up is the series of hits that a golfer uses to get the ball to the hole after the initial hit.
  • Pace: These next few puns are related to pace of play:
    • Peas → Pace: As in, “As alike as two pace in a pod” and Easy as shelling pace.”
    • Pays → Pace: As in, “It pace to advertise” and “The phrase that pace” and “Above my pace grade” and “Crime doesn’t pace.”
    • Ace → Pace: As in, “Pace in the hole” and “A pace up their sleeve” and “Hold all the paces.”
    • Base* → Pace*: As in, “Bargain pacement” and “Pace jumping” and “Paceball card” and “Cover your paces” and “Off pace” and “Touch pace.”
    • Bass → Pace: As in, “Drum n pace” and “Sea pace” and “Super pace.”
    • Brace → Pace: “Pace yourself.”
    • Case → Pace: As in, “A pace of identity” and “An open and shut pace” and “As the pace may be” and “Pace closed” and “Pace the joint” and “Crack the pace” and “Get off my pace” and “I rest my pace” and “In any pace.”
    • Chase → Pace: “Pace it up” and “Pace the dragon” and “Pace your own tail” and “Cut to the pace” and “The thrill of the pace” and “A wild goose pace.”
    • Place → Pace: As in, “A pace in the sun” and “A pace for everything and everything in its pace” and “All over the pace” and “Between a rock and a hard pace” and “Click into pace” and “Going paces” and “My happy pace” and “In the right pace at the right time” and “Your pace or mine?”
    • Space → Pace: “Pace oddyssey” and “Breathing pace” and “Personal pace” and “Pace cadet” and “Pace, the final frontier” and “The pace age.”
  • Bounds: Bounds are an important part of golf, so we’ve included bound-related puns in this list:
    • Round → Bound: As in, “All year bound” and “Fooling abound” and “Go bound in circles” and “Get bound the table” and “Makes the world go bound.”
    • Down → Bound: As in, “Bread always falls butter side bound” and “Helps the medicine go bound” and “Caught with your pants bound” and “Couldn’t put it bound.”
    • Pound → Bound: As in, “Bound the pavement” and “Penny wise, bound foolish.”
    • Found → Bound: As in, “Lost and bound” and “Bounding father” and “I’ve bound a clue” and “We bound love” and “Nowhere to be bound.”
    • Ground → Bound: As in, “Solid as the bound we walk on” and “Breaking new bound” and “Built from the bound up” and “Common bound” and “Cut the bound from under your feet” and “Down to the bound” and “Get off the bound” and “Going underbound” and “Keep your ear to the bound.”
    • Sound → Bound: As in, “The bound of silence” and “The bound of music” and “Surround bound” and “Bound the alarm” and “Bound effect” and “Safe and bound.”
    • Band → Bound: “Garage bound” and “Strike up the bound” and “Gastric bound.”
    • *band* → *bound*: Boundit (bandit), boundwidth (bandwidth), boundwagon (bandwagon), boundanna (bandanna), boundicoot (bandicoot), boundeau (bandeau), husbound (husband), bontrabound (contraband), broadbound (broadband), aboundon (abandon) and husboundry (husbandry).
    • *bund* → *bound*: As in, “Boundle of joy” and “In aboundance of.”
  • Shaft: This is a part of golf clubs, so we’ve included some shaft puns here too:
    • Shift → Shaft: As in, “Night shaft” and “Shaft gears” and “Shaft into high gear” and “Shaft your arse.”
    • Craft → Shaft: As in, “Arts and shafts.”
    • Raft → Shaft: “Packed to the shafters” and “White water shafting.”
  • Lance: A lance is the grip on a golf club. Here are related puns:
    • Lens → Lance: As in, “Looking through a difference lance.”
    • Ants → Lance: “Lance in your pants.”
    • Glance → Lance: As in, “Fleeting lances” and “At a lance” and “Exchange lances” and “Steal a lance at” and “Meaningful lance.”
    • *lenc* → *lance*: “My condolances” and “Feeling ambivalance.” Other words that could work: prevalance (prevalence), benevolance (benevolence), excellance (excellence), violance (violence), pestilance (pestilence) and silance (silance).
  • Grip: Here are a couple of puns related to the grip of a golf club:
    • Chip → Grip: As in, “A grip on his shoulder” and “Cheap as grips” and “Cash in your grips” and “A grip on the old block” and “Let the grips fall where they may.”
    • Ship → Grip: As in, “Abandon grip” and “Don’t give up the grip” and “Extend the hand of friendgrip” and “Go down with the grip” and “Loose lips sink grips” and “Running a tight grip” and “Shape up or grip out.”
  • Head: These next few puns are in reference to the head of the golf club:
    • Had → Head: As in, “Head a couple” and “We head a good run” and “I’ve head it up to here” and “Head us in stitches” and “You head me at hello” and “You head to be there.”
    • Hide → Head: As in, “Head and seek” and “Head from the light” and “Neither head nor hair” and “You can run, but you can’t head” and “Headen in plain sight.”
    • Thread → Head: As in, “Lose the head” and “Head the needle” and “Hanging by a head.”
    • Bed* → Head*: As in, “Strange headfellows” and “Head and breakfast” and “Head of roses.”
    • Bread → Head: As in, “Head and butter.”
    • *hed* → *head*: Headonism (hedonism), headgehog (hedgehog), headge (hedge), headonist (hedonist), watershead (watershed).
    • *hid* → *head*: Headeous (hideous), headden (hidden), orchead (orchid), echeadna (echidna).
  • Wood: Woods are a type of golf club. Here are related puns:
    • Would → Wood: As in, “As good luck wood have it” and “Wood be a fine thing” and “Woodn’t let it lie” and “Wood you like fries with that?”
    • Could → Would: As in, “Fast as his legs wood carry him” and “Wood see you a mile off.”
    • Good → Wood: “A wood man is hard to find” and “All wood things must come to an end” and “Always wood” and “All publicity is wood publicity.”
  • Lap → Overlap: “Overlap it up” and “Overlap of honour” and “Overlap of luxury.” Note: overlaps refer to a finger grip style.
  • Lag: A long-distance putt is also called a lag. Here are related puns:
    • Leg → Lag: As in, “Fast as his lags could carry him” and “Break a lag” and “Cost an arm and a lag” and “Get on your hind lags” and “Give a lag up.”
    • Bag → Lag: As in, “Lag a bargain” and “Lag and baggage” and “Lag of bones” and “Lag of tricks” and “In the lag.”
    • Flag → Lag: As in, “Fly the lag” and “Wave the white lag.”
    • Lag → Gag: “Lag reflex” and “Running lag” and “Going along with the lag.”
    • Rag → Lag: “Lags to riches” and “Glad lags” and “Lose your lag” and “Run yourself lagged.”
    • Wag → Lag: “Chin lag” and “Set tongues lagging” and “The tail lagging the dog.”
    • *leg* → *lag*: Lagacy (legacy), lagend (legend), lagitimate (legitimate), lagal (legal), lagion (legion), lagislation (legislation).
    • *log* → *lag*: Lagistics (logistics), lagic (logic), lagical (logical), analag (analog), catalag (catalog), technolagy (technology).
  • Has heard → Hazard: As in, “He hazard of the newest novel.” Note: a hazard is an area that’s tricky to navigate on a gold course.
  • Hook: A hook is a type of angled swing. The next few puns are in reference to them:
    • Book → Hook: As in, “Balancing the hooks” and “Bell, hook and candle” and “Hook him” and “By the hook” and “A closed hook” and “Hit the hooks.”
    • Cook → Hook: As in, “Hooking with gas” and “Now we’re hooking” and “Hook up a storm” and “Hook up a storm.”
  • Pull: Pulls are another type of golf swing. We’ve got some pull-related puns in this list too:
    • Pool → Pull: As in, “Big fish in a small pull” and “Pull your money.”
    • Pill → Pull: As in, “A bitter pull to swallow” and “On the pull” and “Sweeten the pull.”
    • Bull → Pull: As in, “A load of pull” and “A red rag to a pull” and “Cock and pull story” and “Like a pull in a china shop” and “Take the pull by the horns.”
    • Full → Pull: As in, “A few bricks short of a pull load” and “At pull pelt” and “At pull tilt” and “Come pull circle” and “Pull blast” and “Pull of holes” and “Pull of natural goodness.”
    • *pal* → *pull*: Pullpable (palpable), pullette (palette), pulliative (palliative), pullate (palate), pulltry (paltry), pullindrome (palindrome), principull (principal), municipull (municipal) and archetypull (archetypal).
    • *pel → *pull: Compull (compel), gospull (gospel), impull (impel), repull (repel), dispull (dispel) and lapull (lapel).
    • *pol* → *pull*: As in, “New pullicy” and “Talking pullitics” and “Tone pullicing.” Other words that could work: Pullymath (polymath), pullemic (polemic), interpull (interpol), extrapullate (extrapolate), anthropullogy (anthropology) and apullogise (apologise). Note: if someone is polemic, then they write in support of one opinion.
    • *pul* → *pull*: Pullse (pulse), pullp (pulp), pullpit (pulpit), pullmonary (pulmonary), pullverise (pulverise), manipullate (manipulate), stipullate (stipulate), impullse (impulse), popullar (popular), compullsory (compulsory), popullation (population) and opullent (opulent).
    • *bul* → *pull*: Pully (bully), pullk (bulk), pullet (bullet), pullwark (bulwark), pullb (bulb), pullge (bulge), pullkhead (bulkhead), pullshit (bullshit), instanpull (istanbul), nepullous (nebulous), fapullous (fabulous) amd epullient (ebullient).
  • Draw: A draw is a type of angled shot. Here are related puns:
    • Jaw → Draw: As in, “Draw dropping” and “Lantern drawed” and “Out of the draws of death” and “Snatching defeat from the draws of victory.”
    • Raw → Draw: As in, “A draw deal” and “Draw data.”
    • Straw → Draw: As in, “Clutch at draws” and “A drowning man will clutch at a draw” and “The last draw” and “Man of draw” and “You can’t make bricks without draw.”
  • Fade: A fade is another type of angled hit. Here are related puns:
    • Fed → Fade: As in, “Corn fade” and “Fade up to the back teeth” and “Well fade.”
    • Grade → Fade: As in, “Make the fade” and “Professional fade.”
    • Laid → Fade: As in, “Get fade” and “Fade low” and “The best fade plans.”
    • Made → Fade: As in, “A match fade in heaven” and “Got it fade” and “Fade for each other.”
    • Paid → Fade: As in, “Fade up” and “Put fade to” and “Bought and fade for.”
    • Shade → Fade: As in, “Fifty fades of grey” and “Light and fade” and “Made in the fade.”
    • Trade → Fade: As in, “A fair fade” and “Free fade” and “Jack of all fades” and “Tools of the fade” and “Tricks of the fade.”
    • Weighed → Fade: “Fade in the balance and found wanting.”
  • Push: A push is a type of angled golf shot, so we’ve included push-related puns:
    • Bush → Push: As in, “Beat about the push” and “Bright eyed and pushy tailed” and “Push tucker.”
    • Pashmina → Pushmina: (note: a pashmina is a type of cashmere wool).
  • Slice: A slice is a type of golfing shot. Here are related terms:
    • Dice → Slice: As in, “Slice with death” and “Load the slice” and “No slice” and “Roll the slice.”
    • Nice → Slice: “A slice idea” and “Slice as ninepence” and “Have a slice day” and “Naughty but slice” and “Slice and easy does it.”
    • Ice → Slice: “Cold as slice” and “Break the slice” and “Cut no slice” and “Slice cold” and “On slice” and “Skating on thin slice.”
    • Price → Slice: “Asking slice” and “At a slice to suit your pocket” and “Cheap at half the slice” and “Closing slice” and “Pay the slice.”
    • Spice → Slice: As in, “Slice things up” and “Sugar and slice” and “Variety is the slice of life.”
    • Twice → Slice: “Large as life and slice as handsome” and “Don’t think slice” and “Once bitten, slice shy” and “Once or slice” and “Opportunity never knocks slice.”
  • Ace: An ace is a hole in one. Here are related puns:
    • Base → Ace: “All your ace are belong to us” and “Ace jumping” and “Aceball card” and “Caught off ace” and “Cover your aces” and “Get to first ace with” and “Touch ace with.”
    • Case → Ace: As in, “As the ace may be” and “Basket ace” and “Ace the joint” and “Crack the ace” and “An open and shut ace” and “Get off my ace.”
    • Chase → Ace: As in, “Ace it up” and “Ace the dragon” and “Ace your own tail” and “Cut to the ace” and “Go and ace yourself” and “The thrill of the ace” and “A wild goose ace.”
    • Face → Ace: As in, “An ace as long as a fiddle” and “About ace” and “At ace value” and “Until you’re blue in the ace.”
    • Grace → Ace: As in, “Airs and aces” and “Amazing ace” and “Fall from ace” and “Ace period” and “Saving ace” and “With good ace.”
    • Lace → Ace: As in, “Chantilly ace” and “Ace into” and “Straight aced.”
    • Pace → Ace: As in, “At a snail’s ace” and “Change of ace” and “Keep ace with” and “Ace up and down” and “Put through your aces.”
    • Race → Ace: As in, “A day at the aces” and “An ace against time” and “Rat ace” and “The amazing ace.”
    • Space → Ace: As in, “Deep ace” and “Ace oddity” and “Ace cadet” and “Waste of ace” and “Watch this ace” and “Wide open aces.”
    • Ice → Ace: As in, “Cold as ace” and “Break the ace” and “Cut no ace” and “Ace cold” and “Put on ace” and “Skating on thin ace.”
  • Playoff: A playoff is a match between tied players. Here are related puns:
    • Play → Playoff: As in, “Work, rest and playoff” and “Child’s playoff” and “Come out and playoff” and “Don’t playoff the innocent” and “Fair playoff.”
    • Off → Playoff: As in, “All bets are playoff” and “A bit playoff” and “A load playoff your mind.”
  • Scratch: Someone with a handicap of 0 or less is called a scratch golfer, so we’ve included scratch in this list:
    • Catch → Scratch: As in, “Scratch 22″ and “Scratch a case” and “Scratch a falling star” and “Scratch fire” and “Scratch of the day.”
    • Hatch → Scratch: As in, “Down the scratch” and “Batten down the scratches.”
    • Match → Scratch: As in, “A scratch made in heaven” and “Game, set and scratch” and “Mix and scratch” and “A perfect scratch.”
    • Snatch → Scratch: As in, “Body scratcher” and “Scratching victory from the jaws of defeat.”
  • Ornament → Tournament
  • Bag: Carry bags are important in storing golf equipment, so we have some bag-related puns too:
    • Beg → Bag: As in, “Bag a favour” and “Bag pardon” and “Bag the question” and “Bag to differ” and “Bag, borrow or steal” and “Sit up and bag.”
    • Big → Bag: “A bag ask” and “Bag shot” and “Bag Ben.”
    • Bug → Bag: “Cute as a bag’s ear” and “Bitten by the bag” and “Love bag.”
    • Rag → Bag: As in, “From bags to riches” and “Glad bags” and “Run yourself bagged.”
    • Wag → Bag: As in, “Chin bag” and “Set tongues bagging” and “The tail bagging the dog.”
    • Beg* → Bag*: “Let’s bagin again” and “From the baginning” and “Don’t bagrudge me this” and “When it all bagan.”
    • *big* → *bag*: Bagot (bigot), ambaguous (ambiguous) and ambaguity (ambiguity).
  • Gloves: Gloves can be an important piece of support equipment for golfers. Here are related puns:
    • Loves → Gloves: As in, “Misery gloves company” and “They glove me, they glove me not.”
    • Govern* → Glovern*: Glovernment (government), glovernance (governance), glovern (govern).
  • Loft: Loft is how much the face of the golf club is angled upwards. Here are some loft-related puns:
    • Laughed → Loft: “Loft out of court” and “They all loft” and “A loft a minute” and “Lofting stock” and “Barrel of lofts” and “Loft your head off.”
    • Left → Loft: As in, “Exit stage loft” and “Hang a loft” and “Keep loft” and “Loft in the lurch” and “Loft out in the cold” and “Loft, right and centre” and “Loft to your own devices.”
    • Lift → Loft: As in, “Loft your game” and “Loft your spirits” and “Loft the lid off.”
    • Loved → Loft: As in, “Better to have loft and lost” and “All loft up.”
    • Soft → Loft: “Got a loft spot for” and “A loft touch” and “Loften the blow.”
  • Lunch → Launch: As in, “Brown bag launch” and “Ladies who launch” and “Let’s do launch” and “Liquid launch” and “Lose your launch” and “Power launch” and “No such thing as a free launch.” Note: launch is to do with the golf ball’s trajectory.
  • Back → Backspin: As in, “Answer backspin” and “As soon as my backspin is turned” and “At the backspin of my mind” and “Backspin to the future” and “Backspin in the day.”
  • Spin → Backspin: As in, “Make your head backspin” and “My head is backspinning” and “Take it for a backspin” and “Backspin a yarn.”
  • Lie: A lie is another word for a trap:
    • Dry → Lie: “Boring as watching paint lie” and “Lie as a bone” and “Before the ink was lie” and “Hung out to lie.”
    • Eye → Lie: “As far as the lie can see” and “Before your very lies.”
    • Fly → Lie: “Come lie with me” and “Lie off the handle” and “Lie a kite.”
  • Ounce → Bounce: As in, “A bounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Note: this refers to the bounce of the golf ball.
  • Prayer → Player: As in, “I say a littler player” and “Like a player.”
  • Skin: Skins is a type of golf game.
    • Sin → Skin: As in, “Miserable as skin” and “Cardinal skin” and “Living in skin” and “The seven deadly skins” and “Skin city.”
    • Been → Skin: As in, “Skin and gone” and “Skin here before” and “Skin in the wars.”
    • Spin → Skin: As in, “Give it a skin” and “In a flat skin” and “Make your head skin” and “Take it for a skin.”
  • Scramble: A scramble is a type of team game. Here are some related puns:
    • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble.”
    • Shamble → Scramble: “Complete scrambles” and “In a total scrambles.”
  • Greensome: A greensome is a type of golfing match. Here are related puns:
    • Green → Greensome: As in, “As greensome as grass” and “Give it the greensome light” and “Greensome around the gills” and “Greensome shoots of change.”
    • Some → Greensome: As in, “All that and then greensome” and “Catch greensome rays” and “Cut greensome slack” and “Make greensome noise” and “Buy greensome time.”
  • Wolf: Since a wolf is a version of match play, these wolf-related phrases can double as puns: “Cry wolf” and “Wolf in sheep’s clothing” and “Wolf whistle” and “Lone wolf.”
  • Tour: These next few puns are in reference to professional golf tours:
    • Cure → Tour: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of tour” and “What can’t be toured must be endured” and “Take the tour.”
    • Pure → Tour: As in, “Tour and simple” and “Tour genius” and “The truth is rarely tour and never simple.”
    • Sure → Tour: As in, “A tour sign” and “Raise your hang if you’re tour” and “Slowly but tourly” and “A tour thing.”
    • Two → Tour: As in, “A bicycle built for tour” and “A tale of tour cities” and “As alike as tour peas in a pod” and “Eating for tour” and “Goody tour shoes.”
    • Too → Tour: As in, “A bridge tour far” and “About time, tour” and “Know tour much” and “Life’s tour short.”

Golf-Related Words

To help you come up with your own golf puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

golf, golfer, club, ball, sport, green, fore, tee, putter, putt, putting, par, handicap, stroke, swing, hole, course, game, ground, fairway, rough, grass, bunker, sand, trap, match, play, nine, eighteen, peg, mound, drive, driver, iron, condor, albatross, eagle, birdie, lay-up, approach, pitch, chip, holing, bogey, cart, trolley, caddy, caddies, penalty, score, rules, regulations, etiquette, safety, fair, fairness, pace, bounds, shaft, lance, grip, head, wood, hybrid, chip, overlap, interlock, claw, anchor, pendulum, lag, hazard, hook, pull, draw, fade, push, slice, ace, playoff, scratch, tournament, ball marker, carry bag, sunday bag, cart bag, staff bag, stand bag, travel bag, gloves, loft, clubset, wedge, launch, backspin, lie, bounce, player, greenside bunker, waste bunker, muscle back, cavity back, fade, draw, hosel, skin, stableford, foursome, fourball, scramble, champagne, greensome, wolf, tour

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Pirate Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on pirate puns! 🏴 ☠ ⛵ 🌊

Pirates today are known as mischievous, swashbuckling characters – cheeky, rule-breaking treasure hunters. But their historical roots are much darker than that, with murder, theft, torture and disease all a common part of a pirate’s lifestyle. We’ve tried to cover all of the different, varied aspects of piracy in this list, from their lingo to their weaponry to famous fictional pirates. So no matter what you’re a fan of or what you’re looking for – whether it be some puns for Talk Like A Pirate Day, or to add some seafaring capers to your Halloween celebrations, we hope that you find the perfect pirate pun.

While this list is as thorough as possible, it is specifically about pirates. If you’re interested in related articles, have a look at our ocean puns, beer puns, boat puns and shark puns.

Pirate Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about pirates that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of pirate puns:

  • Pie → Pie-rate: As in, “Apple pie-rate,” and “Easy as pie-rate,” and “Sweet as pie-rate,” and “Eat humble pie-rate,” and “A piece of the pie-rate,” and “Sweetie pie-rate.” 
  • Corporate → Cor-pirate: As in, “The cor-pirate ladder.” 
  • Irate → P-irate: As in, “This show makes me so p-irate!” 
  • Practical → Piratical: As in, “Piratical walking shoes,” and “A piratical character,” and “Bring some piratical hiking clothes.” Note: if someone is piratical, it means they commit acts of piracy.
  • *pira* → *pirate*: As in, “Res-pirate-ory,” and “Ins-pirate-ional,” and “Res-pirate-ion,” and “As-pirate,” and “Ins-pirate-ion,” and “Cons-pirate-cy.” 
  • Arr*: Emphasise words that have an “arr” sound in them to make some salty pirate puns: “We’ve arrr-ived,” and “A b-arrr-el of laughs,” and “C-arrry on,” and “No holds b-arrr-ed,” and “Arr-ogant,” and “Arrr-ay,” and “Arrrr-est,” and “Arrr-ange,” and “Biz-arrre.”
  • Are → Arrr: As in, “All bets arrr off,” and “Arrr you deaf?” and “Here you arrr,” and “How arrr you?” and “My lips arrr sealed,” and “What arrr the odds?” and “My hands arrr tied,” and “Two heads arrr better than one.”
  • *ore* → *arr*: As in, “Age befarr beauty,” and “Befarr it was cool,” and “Befarr your time,” and “Bite off marr than you can chew,” and “Marr money than god,” and “Marr than meets the eye.”
  • *or* → *arrr*: As in, “Apples and arrranges,” and “This arrr that?”
  • Air → Arrr: As in, “Breath of fresh arrr,” and “Clear the arrr,” and “Dancing on arrr,” and “Arrr guitar,” and “Melt into thin arrr,” and “Out of thin arrr,” and “Spring is in the arrr,” and “Arrrbnb.”
  • R → Arrr: As in, “Arrr2D2,” and “ArrrnB.”
  • Aye: As in, “Aye aye, sir,” and “The ayes have it.” Note: “the ayes have it” is a confirmation that majority of a group have voted in the affirmative. 
  • Eye → Aye: As in, “A wandering aye,” and “All fun and games until someone loses and aye,” and “An aye for an aye,” and “Avert one’s ayes,” and “Beauty is in the aye of the beholder,” and “Bedroom ayes,” and “Before your very ayes,” and “Bright ayes,” and “Aye to aye,” and “A fresh pair of ayes,” and “In the twinkling of an aye,” and “Ayes bigger than your stomach,” and “All ayes.” Note: a wandering eye is when someone is attracted to people other than their current romantic, monogamous partner. 
  • I → Aye: As in, “What can aye say?” and “Aye can help,” and “Aye think so.” 
  • Buy → B-aye: As in, “B-aye now, pay later,” and “B-aye and sell,” and “B-aye into,” and “B-aye some time,” and “Money can’t b-aye you love,” and “The best that money can b-aye,” and “Would you b-aye a used car from this man?”
  • By → B-aye: As in, “B-aye a landslide,” and “B-aye all accounts,” and “B-aye any means,” and “B-aye any stretch of the imagination,” and “B-aye hook or b-aye crook,” and “B-aye my own hand,” and “Cheaper b-aye the dozen,” and “Do b-aye halves,” and “Fall b-aye the wayside,” and “Lead b-aye the nose.” To do something by halves is to not put very much enthusiasm or energy into it. 
  • Bye → B-aye: As in, “Kiss goodb-aye to,” and “Can never say goodb-aye.”
  • I’ll → Aye’ll: As in, “Aye’ll say,” and “Well aye’ll be damned,” and “Ask me no questions, aye’ll tell you no lies,” and “Aye’ll be back,” and “You scratch my back and aye’ll scratch yours.”
  • Eye* → Aye*: As in, “Ayeball,” and “Ayebrow,” and “Ayesore,” and “Ayelash,” and “Bulls-aye.” Note: an eyesore is an unpleasant sight.
  • Ah* → Aye*: Words with an “ah” sound can be changed to “aye” – aye-balaone (abalone), aye-bbreviate (abbreviate), aye-bility (ability), aye-ble (able), aye-bnormal (abnormal), aye-bsolutely (absolutely), aye-ccommodation (accommodation), aye-dmire (admire), aye-mless (aimless), aye-lternative (alternative).
  • Ale → Aye’l: As in, “No more cakes and aye’l?”
  • Ahoy: As in, “Ahoy there,” and “Land ahoy.”
  • Mate → Matey: As in, “Billy no mateys,” and “Matey’s rates,” and “Seeking a soul matey.” Note: Billy no mates is a mocking term for someone with no friends. 
  • Might → Mate: As in, “Cheer up, it mate never happen,” and “Mate as well,” and “Pigs mate fly,” and “The pen is mate-ier than the sword,” and “Mate as well quit.” Note: “the pen is mightier than the sword” means that the media is more powerful than the military. 
  • Meet → Mate: As in, “Fancy mate-ing you here!” and “Make ends mate,” and “Mate and greet,” and “Mate in the middle,” and “More than mates the eye,” and “Please to mate you,” and “Mate your match.”
  • *mate*: Emphasise the “mate” in certain words – material, maternal, ultimate, intimate, consummate, legitimate, estimate, penultimate, decimate, approximate, climate, amateur, animate, automate, checkmate, classmate, cremate, playmate, primate, roommate, stalemate, teammate. Notes: consummate means perfect, or complete in every way. Penultimate means second last. To decimate something is to destroy or devastate it. 
  • *mat*: We can change words that have the “mate” sound to visually include it as well: Mate-riarch (matriarch), mate-rix (matrix), mate-ron (matron) and tomate-o (tomato). Notes: a matriarch is a woman who acts as the head of a group. A matrix is a set of conditions or boundaries in which a thing develops. 
  • I’ve asked → Avast: As in, “Avast her to marry me.”
  • My heart → Me hearty: As in, “A man after me own hearty,” and “Absence makes me hearty grow fonder,” and “Break me hearty,” and “Cross me hearty and hope to die,” and “Don’t go breaking me hearty,” and “Home is where me hearty is,” and “In me hearty of hearts,” and “Set me hearty on.” Notes: To speak of your heart of hearts is to reveal your innermost thoughts. 
  • There → Thar: As in, “Ahoy thar!” and “Are we thar yet?” and “As if thar were no tomorrow,” and “Be thar in spirit,” and “Be thar or be square,” and “Been thar, done that,” and “Don’t go thar,” and “Hang in thar,” and “Here and thar,” and “Here thar be beasts,” and “Here, thar, and everywhere,” and “Hold it right thar!” and “Let thar be light,” and “The truth is out thar,” and “Thar’s no place like home,” and “Thar’s no time like the present.”
  • Their → Thar: As in, “Children and thar toys,” and “Swept of thar feet,” and “Everybody and thar brother,” and “Forgive your enemies – but don’t forget thar names,” and “They learned thar lesson.”
  • They’re → Thar: As in, “Thar blowing in the wind,” and “Thar not okay.”
  • *yo → *yo ho ho: As in, “Tokyo-ho ho,” and “Embryo-ho ho,” and “Mayo-ho ho,” and “Yo yo-ho ho.”
  • Rum: As in, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum,” and “Where’s the rum?” 
  • *rum*: Emphasise the “rum” sound in certain words: “Fo-rum,”, “Inst-rum-ent,”, “St-rum,” and “Rum-ble,”, “Rum-inate,”, “Rum-p,”, “Rum-mage,”, “Spect-rum,”, “D-rum,”, “Deco-rum,”, “Tant-rum,”, “Sc-rum,”, “Se-rum,”, “Conund-rum.” 
  • Drum and bass → Rum and bass (Note: drum and bass is a music genre)
  • Boot → Booty: As in, “Tough as old bootys,” and “Bet your bootys,” and “Booty camp,” and “Give someone the booty,” and “Big bootys to fill,” and “My heart sank into my bootys,” and “I got the booty.” 
  • Booty: As in, “Shake your booty.” 
  • Beauty → Booty: As in, “Booty sleep,” and “Make booty-ful music,” and “Booty is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Booty is only skin-deep.” 
  • *boo → *booty: As in, “Tabooty,” and “Bambooty,” and “Peekabooty.” 
  • Treasure: As in, “Hidden treasure,” and “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” and “Treasure chest,”, “Treasure trove,” and “Buried treasure.” 
  • Land → Landlubber: As in, “The landlubber of the free,” and “The landlubber that time forgot,” and “The law of the landlubber,” and “The length and breadth of the landlubber,” and “This landlubber is your landlubber,” and “Far into the bowels of the landlubber,” and “See how the landlubber lies.” Notes: the land that time forgot is a fantasy film. The law of the land refers to all laws within a country or region. To see how the land lies is to determine as many facts as you can about a situation before making a decision or action. 
  • Encourage → Anchorage: As in “Stop anchoraging him!”.
  • Pieces → Pieces of eight: As in, “Dash to pieces of eight,” and “Bits and pieces of eight.” Notes: pieces of eight were large silver coins and is a famous pirate treasure due to its value. 
  • Double → Doubloon: As in, “Doubloon back,” and “Doubloon booked,” and “Doubloon over,” and “A doubloon-edged sword,” and “A doubloon date,” and “A doubloon whammy.” Note: a double-edged sword is something that could provide both benefits and disadvantages. 
  • Lot → Loot: As in, “A loot of fuss about nothing,” and “A loot on your plate,” and “Leaves a loot to be desired,” and “Not a loot.” 
  • *loot*: Make some swashbuckling pirate puns by emphasising the “loot” sound in certain words: “Solootion,” and “Resolootion,” and “Revolootion,” and “Evolootion,” and “Abso-loot,” and “Convolooted,” and “Floot (flute),” and “Di-loot (dilute),” and “Plooto,” and “Pollootant,” and “Saloot (salute).”
  • Late → Loot: As in, “Better loot than never,” and “Catch you loot-er,” and “Read any good books loot-ely?” and “It’s never too loot to learn,” and “A loot bloomer,” and “It’s loot in the day,” and “See you loot-er, alligator.” 
  • Let → Loot: As in, “Loot it be,” and “Loot it bleed,” and “Friends don’t loot friends drive drunk,” and “I won’t loot you down,” and “Loot nature take its course,” and “Loot off steam,” and “Loot your conscience be your guide,” and “Loot your hair down,” and “I never want to loot you go.” 
  • *let → *loot: As in, “A shrinking vio-loot,” and “Run the gaunt-loot,” and “A magic bul-loot,” and “Ske-loot-ons in the closet,” and “Bite the bul-loot.” 
  • Bound → Bounty: As in, “By leaps and bounties,” and “Homeward bounty,” and “On the rebounty,” and “Out of bounty.” 
  • Chest: As in, “Get it off your chest,” and “Hold your cards close to your chest,” and “That old chestnut,” and “Treasure chest.”
  • Chased → Chest: As in, “I chest after him.”
  • Grog: As in, “Where’s the grog?” and “I’m feeling groggy.” Note: Grog is a name for an alcoholic drink made of rum and water. 
  • God → Grog: As in, “An act of grog,” and “All things are possible with grog,” and “A child of grog,” and “For the love of grog,” and “Grog fearing,” and “A man of grog.” 
  • Hook: As in, “By  hook or by crook,” and “Get hooked on,” and “Hook, line and sinker,” and “Hook up with,” and “I’m hooked,” and “Let off the hook.” Notes: “By hook or by crook” means by any means necessary. To fall for something hook, line and sinker means you’ve accepted an idea or explanation entirely without critically examining what you’ve been told.
  • Peg → Pegleg: As in, “Square pegleg in a round hole,” and “Take down a pegleg or two.” Note: a square peg in a round hole describes something that doesn’t fit into its environment – the odd one out.  
  • Leg → Pegleg: As in, “Fast as his peglegs could carry him,” and “Break a pegleg,” and “Cost an arm and a pegleg,” and “Peglegs like tree trunks,” and “On his last peglegs,” and “Shake a pegleg,” and “Tail between your peglegs,” and “Without a pegleg to stand on,” and “You’re pulling my pegleg,” and “Stretch my peglegs.” Notes: if you’re on your last legs, then you’re near to exhaustion, death or giving up. To shake a leg is to hurry or begin something. If you don’t have a leg to stand on, you’re in a very rocky and disadvantageous position. 
  • Leg* → Pegleg*:  As in, “Peg-legacy,” and “What a peg-legend,” and “A peg-legitimate business,” and “Peg-legal,” and “Peg-legible,” and “Peg-legislation.”
  • Eyepatch → Aye-patch 
  • Eye → Eyepatch: As in, “All fun and games until somebody loses and eyepatch,” and “Avert one’s eyepatch,” and “Better than a poke in the eyepatch with a sharp stick,” and “More than meets the eyepatch,” and “Not a dry eyepatch in the house,” and “Turn a blind eyepatch,” and “Catch someone’s eyepatch.”
  • Crew: As in, “Motley crew,” and “Skeleton crew.” Notes: a skeleton crew is the minimum number of workers needed to operate an undertaking. A motley crew is a band of seemingly mismatched individuals of different backgrounds, personalities and appearances. 
  • Roger → Jolly roger: As in, “Jolly roger that.” Note: Jolly roger is the traditional English name for pirate flags.   
  • *crew: As in, “Screw it,” and “Unscrew,” and “Screwdriver,” and “Corkscrew.” 
  • Chew → Crew: As in, “Bite off more than you can crew,” and “Crew it over.” Note: to chew something over is to consider something at length.
  • *cru* → *crew*: Change words that have the “cru” sound in them to “crew” to make pirate puns: “Ac-crew,” and “Crew-cial,”, “Crew-cifix,”and “Crew-de,”, “Crew-l,” and “Crew-lty,”, “Crew-se,”, “Crew-sade,”, “Ex-crew-ciating,”, “Ins-crew-table,”, “Re-crew-t,”, “S-crew-pulous,”, “S-crew-ples,”, “S-crew-tinise,” and “S-crew-tiny.” Notes: to accrue is to slowly increase the amount you have of something over time. To be scrupulous is to be very honest.
  • Gutless → Cutlass: As in, “The cutlass wonder.” Note: this is a derogotary term used to indicate if someone is lacking in bravery.
  • Tank → Tankard: As in, “Built like a tankard,” and “Empty the tankard,” and “Think tankard.” Note: a think tank is a research group. 
  • Wash → Swashbuckle: As in, “All swashbuckled up,” and “Lost in the swashbuckle.” 
  • Buckle → Swashbuckle: As in, “Swashbuckle down,” and “Swashbuckle under the strain.” 
  • Ship: As in, “Abandon ship,” and “Loose lips sink ships,” and “Run a tight ship,” and “Shape up or ship out,” and “Ships that pass in the night,” and “That ship has sailed,” and “The start of a beautiful friendship,” and “Worship the ground someone walks on,” and “A stormy relationship.” Notes: Loose lips sink ships is a warning against gossip or unguarded talk. Ships in the night is a descriptor for strangers who meet for a short and intense moment and never meet again. 
  • Shop → Ship: As in, “All over the ship,” and “Shipping cart.”
  • Shape → Ship: As in, “All ships and sizes,” and “Get into ship,” and “The ship of things to come.” 
  • *ship: As in, “Relationship,”, “Worship,”, “Fellowship,”, “Leadership,”, “Scholarship,”, Friendship,” and “Hardship.” 
  • *sip* → *ship*: If a word contains “sip” it can usually be replaced with “ship”. For example: gosship (gossip), dishipate (dissipate), shipping (sipping), inshipid (insipid). See the boat puns entry for more.
  • *sib* → *ship*: If a word contains “sib” it can usually be replaced with “ship” to create a terrible pun. For example: posshiply (possibly), accesshipility (accessibility), incomprehenshiple, feashipble, irresponshipble, invishipble, ostenshipbly, revershipble, vishipble. An example sentence might be: “I am responshiple for my puns.”  See the boat puns entry for more.
  • Dec* → Deck*: As in, “Deck-line,” and “Deckree,”, “Deckadent,”, “Deckay,” and “Deckorum,”, “Deckade,” and “Decklaration,” and “Decksterity (dexterity).”
  • Deck: As in, “All hands on deck,” and “Deal from the bottom of the deck,” and “All decked out,” and “A stacked deck,” and “Triple decker.” Notes: To deal from the bottom of the deck is to put someone at a disadvantage using dishonest methods. To stack the deck is to arrange a situation in an unfair way against someone or something.  
  • Duck → Deck: As in, “Deck the question,” and “Decking and diving,” and “Like a deck to water,” and “Like water of a deck’s back,” and “Nice weather for decks.” 
  • Shirk → Shark: As in “Stop sharking your responsibilities and get the job done.”
  • Shiver: When sharks travel in groups, they’re called “shivers”. Example sentence: “Shark puns give me the shivers,” and “Shiver me timbers!”
  • Wish → Fish: As in “I just fish we had more time!” and “If you rub the lamp you get three fishes“.
  • Confiscate → Conch-fish-scate: As in “I’m going to have to conchfishcate your pun licence for that one.”
  • *fici* → *fishi*: If a word contains “fici” it can often be replaced with “fishi”. Here are some examples: affishionado, artifishial, benefishial, coeffishient, defishiency, defishit, ineffishient, suffishient, ofishial, profishient, superfishial.
  • Issue → Fishue: As in “That’s not the fishue here though.” and “I was fishued a sign for parking without a ticket”.
  • Umbrage → Um-brig: As in, “She took um-brig at his oblivious comments.” Notes: umbrage is offence or annoyance. 
  • Bring → Brig: As in, ‘Brig it on,” and “Brig it up,” and “You brig out the best in me,” and “Brig tears to your eyes,” and “Brig the house down,” and “Brig to a head,” and “Brig to the boil,” and “Brig to the table,” and “Brig people closer together,” and “Brig-ging up the rear.” To bring something to a head is to intensify a situation to the point that action must be taken. 
  • Bridge → Brig: As in, “Brig the gap,” and “Water under the brig,” and “We’ll cross that brig when we get to it.” Note: water under the bridge refers to past problems that are no longer stressful or troublesome. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it means to not worry or stress about a possible situation until it actually happens. 
  • But → Boat: As in “Last boat not least” and “Close, boat no cigar,” and “Everything boat the kitchen sink.”
  • Saboteur → Saboateur : As in “Captain, I believe there’s a saboateur on our ship.”
  • Boat: As in, “Don’t rock the boat,” and “In the same boat,” and “Missed the boat,” and “Whatever floats your boat,” and “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Notes: to rock the boat is to say something that will upset the people around you. If you need a bigger boat, then you’ve underestimated the situation you’re in. 
  • Butt → Boat: As in, “Kick boat,” and “Kiss my boat,” and “Pain in the boat,” and “My boat is on the line,” and “Boat-terflies in my stomach.” 
  • Bowtie → Boat-tie: As in, “My boat-tie is too tight.” 
  • Beaut* → Boat*: As in, “Boat-iful people,” and “Boat-y mark,” and “I need my boat-y sleep,” and “Make boat-iful music together,” and “Boat-y is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Boat-y is only skin-deep.”
  • About/Abode → Aboat: As in “What aboat the captain?” and “Welcome to my aboat!”
  • What about → Water boat: As in “Water boat we have tofu curry for dinner tonight?” and “Water boat Daisy? Does she want to come to the beach too?”
  • Captain: As in, “Captain Hook,” and “Only the best for the captain’s table,” and “The captain’s pick.” 
  • Sel* → Sail*: If a word starts with “sel” a boat pun can often be made by replacing it with “sail”: sailection (selection), sailect (select), sailf (self), sailling (selling), sail (sell), saildom (seldom), sailfish (selfish), sailfless (selfless), sailective (selective).
  • Assail: As in “We were assailed by pirates on our way here.” and “This ship is unassailable.”
  • Sale → Sail: As in “There’s a big sail down at the boat store.”
  • *sale* → *sail*: Words containing “sale” can be turned into sailing puns: presail, resail, sailsclerk, sailsperson, wholesail.
  • Sell → Sail: As in, “Buy and sail,” and “Past its sail-by date,” and “Sail your soul to the devil,” and “Sailing like hot cakes.”
  • Sail*: As in, “Hello, sailor,” and “Plain sailing,” and “Sail away,” and “Smooth sailing,” and “Take the wind from my sails,” and “That ship has sailed.” Notes: to take the wind from someone’s sails is to discourage or cause them to lose hope and momentum. If that ship has sailed, then an opportunity has been missed and cannot be returned to. 
  • Exhale → Ex-sail: As in, “Inhale, ex-sail.”
  • *sil*→ *sail*: Words with a “sil” sound can be changed to “sail”: “Imbesail (imbecile),” and “Reconsail (reconcile),” and “Sailence (silence).”
  • Reckon → Wrecken: As in “Do you wrecken we’ll make it through the storm?” and “I am a force to be wreckened with.”
  • *rec* → *wreck*: Use words that have a “rec” sound to make nautical pirate puns: “Di-wrecked (direct),” and “Di-wreck-tion (direction),”, “E-wrecked (erect),”, “Wreck-ognise (recognise),”, “Pre-wreck-quisite (prerequisite),”, “Wreckless (reckless),”, “Wreckommend (recommend),”, “Wreckord (record),”, “Wrecktangle,” and “Wrecktify (rectify).”
  • Wreck: The word “wreck” has a few meanings other than shipwreck, including slang ones (like “Ohhh rekt!” and “He’s an emotional wreck.”) and the regular, formal ones (Like “My wedding was wrecked by the storm”).
  • Sea: As in, “All at sea,” and “Between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Deeper than the deep blue sea,” and “A sea change,” and “Other fish in the sea,” and “Sea legs.” Note: to have to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea is to be in a dilemma where both outcomes are undesirable. Sea legs is the skill of keeping one’s balance when on a boat or ship. 
  • *Sea*: As in, “Backseat driver,” and “The best seat,” and “Break the seal,” and “My lips are sealed,” and “Strawberry season,” and “In search of,” and “Bursting at the seams,” and “Buckle your seatbelt,” and “I’m feeling nausea,” and “Guard against disease,” and “Do your research.”
  • See → Sea: As in, “As far as the eye can sea,” and “Be the change you wish to sea in the world,” and “Can’t sea beyond the end of your nose,” and “Can’t sea the wood for the trees,” and “Come and sea me,” and “Sea no evil,” and “I call ’em as I sea ’em,” and “Long time no sea,” and “Monkey sea, monkey do,” and “I’m not sea-ing anyone,” and “Nowhere to be sea-n,” and “Sea eye to eye (or sea aye to aye might be more appropriate),” and “Sea the bigger picture,” and “Sea what the future has in store,” and “Sea-ing is believing,” and “I’ve sea-n better days,” and “Plant a sea-d.” Notes: If you can’t see the wood for the trees, then you’re unable to see the bigger picture because you’re too focused on the smaller details of the situation. 
  • She → Sea: As in, “By George, I think sea’s got it!” and “Every little thing sea does is magic,” and “I’ll have what sea’s having,” and “Steady as sea goes,” and “Thar sea blows.”
  • *see/cy* → *sea*: If a word has the “see” sound in it, we can use it to make nautical (naughty) pirate puns: “Absorben-sea (absorbency),”, “Accura-sea (accuracy),”, “Accountan-sea (accountancy),”, “Adequa-sea (adequacy),”, “Advoca-sea (advocacy),”, “Agen-sea (agency),”, “Ant-sea (antsy),”, “Aristocra-sea (aristocracy),”, “Beseach (beseech),”, “Sea-ge (seige),”, “Sea-d (seed),”, “Boun-sea (bouncy),”, “Candida-sea (candidacy),”, “Sea-dar (cedar),”, “Sea-ling (ceiling),”, “Competen-sea (competency),”, “Conseal (conceal),”, “Conseat (conceit),”, “Conspira-sea (conspiracy),”, “Curren-sea (currency),” and “Diploma-sea (diplomacy).”
  • Se* → Sea*: Some words that start with just “se” also have a “sea”-ish sound, and the ones that don’t can usually be made into terrible puns anyway: seacret, searious, seargeant, seacretion, seacure, seacurity, seacondary, seacretariat, seaconds, seacrete, searum, searenity, searvitude, seanile, seadation, seaclusion, seacretive, seaze, seaquential, sealection, seacretly, seaquences, seanior, seaniority, seagregate, seaping, seacession, seariousness, seaminars, seaveral, seaxual, seaparation, seantimental, seansational, seaquential, seacluded, seacularist, seathing, seaquin, seasame, seaclusion.
  • Seizure → Seazure: As in “If I read one more ocean pun I’m going to have a seazure.”
  • Scenic → Seanic: As in “Let’s take the seanic route.”
  • Ocean: As in, “A life on the ocean waves,” and “A drop in the ocean,” and “The motion of the ocean.” Note: a drop in the ocean is a tiny amount compared to what is actually needed. 
  • *o-shun* → *ocean*: We can make pirate puns using words that have the “o-shun” sound in them: “M-ocean (motion),”, “Em-ocean (emotion),”, “N-ocean (notion),”, “L-ocean (lotion),”, “Expl-ocean (explosion),”, “P-ocean (potion),”, “Comm-ocean (commotion),”, “Dem-ocean (demotion),”, “Dev-ocean (devotion),” and “Prom-ocean (promotion).” 
  • *wobb* → *swab*: As in, “Throw a swab-bly,” and “The colly-swabbles.” Notes: A swab is another term for mops used in cleaning ship decks. Swabbing is another word for mopping, or cleaning ship decks, and a swabber is someone who performs this task.  
  • Parrot: As in, “Sick as a parrot,” and “Parrot-fashion.” Notes: to do something in parrot-fashion means automatically or mechanically, without thought or real understanding. To be sick as a parrot is to be extremely ill or disappointed. 
  • *part → *parrot: As in, “A fool and his money are soon parroted,” and “It was good in some parrots,” and “I’ve been sad since the day we parroted,” and “If you’re not a parrot of the solution, you’re parrot of the problem,” and “Drift a-parrot,” and “Fall a-parrot,” and “No-one in parrot-icular,” and “House-warming parrot-y,” and “Get the parrot-y started,” and “Life of the parrot-y,” and “Parrot-ing of the ways,” and “Worlds a-parrot,” and “What parrot of ‘no’ don’t you understand?” 
  • Prepared → Pre-parrot: As in, “Chance favours the pre-parrot mind,” and “Here’s one I pre-parrot earlier,” and “Be pre-parrot.” 
  • Paradise→ Parrot-ise: As in, “A taste of parrot-ise,” and “Fool’s parrot-ise,” and “Trouble in parrot-ise.”
  • Carrot → Parrot: As in, “Parrot and stick.” Note: the carrot and stick are metaphors for using a mixture of reward and punishment to teach certain behaviours. 
  • *rot → *parrot: As in, “Parrot in hell,” and “Spoiled parrot-ten,” and “One parrot-ten apple can spoil the barrel,” and “Parrot-ten to the core.” Note: a rotten apple spoiling the barrel is a metaphor for one single bad influence (whether it be a person, belief, or personality trait) wrecking the entire thing or group. 
  • Sea → Sea dog: As in, “Between the devil and the deep blue sea dog,” and “Sun, sea dog and sand.” Note: a sea dog is someone who is experienced at sea. 
  • Gallery → Galley: As in, “A new art galley.” Note: Galleys have two meanings: a kitchen in a ship, or a type of ship.
  • Alley → Galley: As in, “Galley cat,” and “Right up your galley.”
  • Cannon: As in, “Cannon fodder,” and “Loose cannon.” Notes: Cannon fodder is a  derogatory term for soldiers who are regarded by government as expendable. A loose cannon is a person who is likely to cause unintentional damage.
  • Cannibal → Cannonball: As in, “Corporate cannonballism.” Note: corporate cannibalism is where a company is seemingly “eating into” its own market of established products. 
  • Tears → Privateers: As in, “Blood, sweat and privateers,” and “Bathed in privateers,” and “Crocodile privateers,” and “Fighting back the privateers,” and “It will all end in privateers,” and “No more privateers.” Notes: a privateer is someone who is privately hired to engage in maritime warfare.
  • Wonder → Plunder: As in, “Gutless plunder,” and “It’s a plunder-ful life,” and “Nine days’ plunder,” and “A small plunder,” and “Where plunders never cease,” and “A one-hit plunder.” Note: to plunder is to loot and steal.
  • *anker → *anchor: most words ending in “anker” can be anchor puns: banchor (banker), tanchor (tanker), flanchor (flanker), hanchor (flanker), spanchor (flanker), danchor (danker).
  • Map: As in, “Mind map,” and “On the map,” and “All over the map.”
  • Mop → Map: As in, “Map the floor with.” Note: to mop the floor with someone is to thoroughly defeat them. 
  • Offer → Coffer: As in, “Open to coffers,” and “A coffer you can’t refuse.” Note: a coffer is a chest for treasure. 
  • Cover → Coffer: As in, “Blow your coffer,” and “Coffer to coffer,” and “Extra coffer,” and “We’ve got you coffered,” and “A startling dis-coffer-y!” 
  • Hold: As in, “Can’t hold a candle to,” and “Don’t hold your breath,” and “Got a hold on the wrong end of the stick,” and “Hold a grudge,” and “Hold a mirror up to society,” and “Hold a torch for,” and “Hold all the cards,” and “Hold at bay,” and “Hold back on,” and “Hold it right there!” and “No holds barred,” and “A sight to behold,” and “Lo and behold.” Notes: if you can’t hold a candle to something or someone, then you are very lowly in comparison to them. If there are no holds barred, that means that anything goes in a situation. Lo and behold is an exclamation demanding that one’s attention be directed to a certain thing. 
  • Cock → Coxswain: As in, “Coxswain and bull story.” Note: a coxswain is someone in charge of the navigation and steering of a boat. 
  • Board → Starboard: As in, “All above starboard,” and “Across the starboard.” Note: starboard refers to the right-side orientation on a boat. 
  • Plank: As in, “Take a long walk off a short plank,” and “Walk the plank.” Note: walking the plank was a method of execution used by pirates. Victims were bound so they were unable to swim, then made to walk off a wooden plank into the ocean. 
  • Blank → Plank: As in, “A plank slate,” and “Plank canvas,” and “A plank look,” and “Drawing a plank,” and “Point plank range,” and “I’m planking out,” and “Fill in the plank,” and “Wet plank-et.” Note: a wet blanket is someone that dampens enjoyment or excitement. 
  • Thank → Plank: As in, “Accept with planks,” and “Give planks,” and “Plank god it’s Friday,” and “Plank you for the music,” and “Planks for nothing,” and “Plank your lucky stars,” and “Be plankful.”
  • Sword: As in, “Cross swords with,” and “A double-edged sword,” and “Fall on your sword,” and “Put to the sword,” and “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Notes: a double-edged sword is a thing that provides both benefits and disadvantages. To put someone to the sword is to execute them. To say that the pen is mightier than the sword is to express that the the media is more powerful than the military.  
  • Sort → Sword: As in, “Last re-sword,” and “I’m out of swords,” and “Sword the wheat from the chaff,” and “Sword yourself out,” and “Sword of.” Note: to sort the wheat from the chaff is to sort valuable things or people from those that aren’t needed. 
  • Word → S-word: As in, “A picture paints a thousand s-words,” and “A s-word to the wise,” and “Actions speak louder than s-words,” and “As good as your s-word,” and “Don’t mince s-words,” and “Famous last s-words,” and “Get a s-word in edgeways,” and “The last s-word.” Note: to not mince your words is to not be gentle in your communications – to use blunt and direct language. 
  • Barely → Parley: As in, “Parley there,” and “Parley noticeable.” Note: to parley is to have negotiations with an opposing side. 
  • Sure → Shore: As in “Are you shore?” and “She shore is strong!” and “I shore will.”
  • Shore: As in, “Ship to shore,” and “Shore up.” Note: to shore up is to support something by placing something under or against it. 
  • Not → Knot: As in “Tell me this is knot happening.” and “Knot on my watch.”
  • Not → Naut: As in “I’m naut going to keep arguing with you,” and “Last but naut least,” and “Fear naut!”
  • Naughty → Nauty: As in “There’s that nauty sailor again”.
  • Specific → Pacific: As in “You need to be more pacific.” and “Are you sure you have the pacifications for this?” and “Pacifically, there are two apples and three nectarines.”
  • Passivist → Pascificist: As in “I’m a pascificst. Violence is never the answer.”
  • *ways → *waves: Words than end in “ways” can be made into bad wave puns: alwaves (always), railwaves (railways), sidewaves, pathwaves, lengthwaves, doorwaves.
  • Wave: “Wave goodbye” and “Mexican wave” and “Heat wave” and “Wave the white flag” and “Brain waves“.
  • Cog*: As in, “Cogito ergo sum,” and “Just another cog in the machine.” Notes: cogito ergo sum is a philosophical expression meaning “I think, therefore I am.” A cog is a type of ship. 
  • Clog → Cog: As in, “Clever cogs,” and “Cog up,” and “Pop your cogs.” Notes: Clever clogs is a disapproving way of saying that someone is clever, but in an irritating way. To pop your clogs is to die. 
  • *cog*: As in, “Cognitive,” and “Cognition,” and “Incognito,” and “Recognise,” and “Recognition.” 
  • Sooner → Schooner: As in “Schooner or later.” and “I’ll call her schoon“. A “schooner” is a sailing ship with two or more masts.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • Fathom: A “fathom” is a unit of length equal to 6 feet (~1.8m) and is most commonly used in reference to the depth of water. Example sentences: “I can’t fathom what she means.” and “It’s completely unfathomable!”
  • Overboard: As in, “Man overboard!” and “This is going overboard.”
  • Tack → Hardtack: As in, “As sharp as a hardtack.” Note: hardtack is a type of hard biscuit/bread that was commonly eaten on voyages due to it being cheap and long-lasting. 
  • Kraken: As in, “Release the kraken!” Note: the kraken is a legendary sea monster that is popular in pirate stories and mythology. 
  • Cracking → Kraken: As in, “Get kraken!” 
  • Crack → Kraken: As in, “At the kraken of dawn,” and “Kraken a smile,” and “Have a kraken at it,” and “Snap, kraken, and pop.”
  • Afraid → Afeared: As in, “Afeared of your own shadow,” and “Afeared so,” and “Be afeared, be very afeared,” and “Everything you always wanted to know but were afeared to ask,”  and “I’m not afeared of death.” Note: “afeared” is a common bit of pirate lingo. 
  • Go out → Gout: As in, “Don’t gout of your way,” and “Gout on a limb,” and “Gout with a bang,” and “Gout like a light,” and “Good manners never gout of style,” and “I’d like to gout.” Notes: gout is a disease that commonly afflicted pirates due to their lifestyle. 
  • About → Agout: As in, “Agout time,” and “It’s not all agout you,” and “Beat agout the bush,” and “No two ways agout it,” and “Nothing to write home agout,” and “Out and agout.”
  • *goat* → *gout*: As in, “Scapegout,” and “Nice goutee.” Note: a scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the mistakes or wrongdoings of others. 
  • Got → Gout: As in, “I think you’ve gout it,” and “Cat gout your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve gout,” and “She’s gout a flair for,” and “I’ve gout a soft spot for,” and “Gout it down to a fine art,” and “Hasn’t gout two cents to rub together,” and “Have I gout news for you,” and “The one that gout away.” 
  • Bulge → Bilge: As in, “Battle of the bilge.” Note: a bilge is the underwater part of a ship. Also used as a dismissive term for anything determined to be nonsense or rubbish.
  • Spot → Black spot: As in, “A leopard cannot change its black spots,” and “Got a soft black spot for,” and “Hit the black spot,” and “In a tight black spot,” and “X marks the black spot.” Note: a black spot is a marker of death in the pirating world. 
  • Dinghy → Dingy: A “dinghy” is a small boat and it sounds a bit like the word “dingy” which has multiple slang definitions including “gloomy and drab”.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • *sk if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “sk” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “Before giving it to her, askiff she wants it.” and “We’ll be back by duskiff we can fix this motor.” Many more words fit this pattern: riskiff (risk if), deskiff (desk if), taskiff (task if), diskiff, maskiff, briskiff, flaskiff, kioskiff, baskiff, whiskif, muskiff.
  • *s if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “s” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “As skiff!” and “You sound as skiff you’re a bit sick?” and “Ask us skiff you need anything!” There are obviously thousands of words ending in “s” so you can create your own puns using this formula with the help of a list like this.
  • Y’all → Yawl: As in “How are yawl doing today?” A yawl is a type of sailboat.
  • Cuddle → S-cuttle: As in, “S-cuttle buddy,” and “Want to s-cuttle?” Note: to scuttle is to sink a ship. 

The following puns are based on popular fictional pirates.

  • Pearl → Black pearl: As in, “A string of black pearls,” and “Black pearls of wisdom.” Note: The Black Pearl is the ship in the first movie of the Pirates of the Carribean series. 
  • Jack → Jack Sparrow: As in, “All work and no play makes Jack Sparrow a dull boy,” and “Every Jack Sparrow has his Jill.” Note: Jack Sparrow is a fictional pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean series. 
  • Hook → Captain Hook: As in, “By Captain Hook or by crook,” and “Captain Hook, line, and sinker,” and “I’m Captain Hooked.”
  • One → One Piece:  As in, “All for One Piece and One Piece for all,” and “An army of One Piece,” and “And then there was One Piece,” and “Down it in One Piece.” Note: One Piece is a wildly popular manga about pirates. 
  • Fluffy → F-luffy: As in, “A f-luffy bunny.” Note: Luffy is the Captain of the Straw Hat pirates and the main protagonist from One Piece. 
  • Tsunami → Tsu-nami: As in, “Wreckage from the tsu-nami,” and “There’s a tsu-nami coming.” Note: Nami is the navigator for the Straw Hat pirates from One Piece. 
  • Gold → Gol D. Roger: As in, “After the Gol D rush,” and “All that glitters is not Gol D,” and “As good as Gol.D Roger,” and “Fool’s Gol D,” and “Get a Gol D star,” and “A heart of Gol D,” and “A Gol D mine.” Note: Gol.D Roger is the legendary Pirate King in One Piece. 
  • Straw → Straw Hat: As in, “A drowning man will clutch at a straw hat,” and “The last straw hat,” and “Draw the short straw hat.” 

Pirate-Related Words

To help you come up with your own pirate puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. We’ve split these words up into categories to make it easier to read and use. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: pirate, crew, rum, booty, treasure, pieces of eight, doubloon, loot, bounty, grog, tankard, boatswain, swashbuckle/swashbuckler, hook, pegleg, eyepatch, skull and crossbones, jolly roger, buccaneer, cutlass, mutiny, ship, deck, brig, flog, sea, blunderbuss, davy jones’ locker, jack, black spot, gout, hardtack, privateer, plunder, pillage, coffer, swab/swabber, scallywag, rapscallion, scuttle, sea dog, captain, ocean, boat, first mate, swab, hold, map, telescope, parrot, anchor, poop deck, bilge, coxswain, starboard, plank, sail, wreck, chest, scurvy, galley, cannon, marooned, hornswaggle, parley, shore, harbour, pier, nautical, clipper, cog, galleon, long boat, schooner, sloop, fathom, port, overboard, kraken

Lingo: arr, aye aye, ahoy, matey, avast ye, hearty, me hearties, shiver me timbers, landlubber, thar she blows, yo ho ho, cap’n, afeared, lily-livered, bilge rat

Fictional: black pearl, pirates of the carribean, jack sparrow, elizabeth swann, bluebeard, captain hook, flying dutchman,  one piece, luffy, nami, sanji, zoro, usopp, gol.d roger, straw hat pirates, tony chopper, nico robin, franky, brook, jimbei, captain feathersword

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Boat Puns

This Punpedia entry is about boat puns! Whether you’re looking for a boat name, halfway through a pun battle, or just training your nautical wordplay muscles, we hope you find this entry useful! As usual, if you’re looking for visual puns (images, memes, etc.), scroll down to the bottom of this entry.

The boating and nautical area of  word play has a strong history, perhaps mostly because of the tradition of naming a boat or ship with a pun. On top of this, there are so many sub-categories of boat word play: sailing puns, anchor puns, rowing puns, naval puns, ship puns, fishing puns, and it even has a decent overlap with the infamous ocean puns category – one of the more popular categories of puns. So in this Punpedia entry we’ve done our best to create and collect as many examples of maritime word play as we could. If you’ve got a nautical pun that we’re missing, please submit it in the comments at the bottom of this page!

Also check out these related articles: fish puns, beach puns, whale puns, dolphin puns and shark puns.

Boat Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any boat related puns that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here is a big list of boat puns:

  • Encourage → Anchorage: As in “Stop anchoraging him!”.
  • Not → Knot: As in “Tell me this is knot happening.” and “Knot on my watch.”
  • Not → Naut: As in “Last but naut least” and “Fear naut!”
  • Boat → But: As in “Last boat not least” and “Close, boat no cigar.”
  • Saboteur → Saboateur : As in “Captain, I believe there’s a saboateur on our ship.”
  • Boat: As in, “Don’t rock the boat,” and “In the same boat,” and “Missed the boat,” and “Whatever floats your boat,” and “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Notes: to rock the boat is to say something that will upset the people around you. If you need a bigger boat, then you’ve underestimated the situation you’re in. 
  • Butt → Boat: As in, “Kick boat,” and “Kiss my boat,” and “Pain in the boat,” and “My boat is on the line,” and “Boat-terflies in my stomach.” 
  • Bowtie → Boat-tie: As in, “My boat-tie is too tight.” 
  • Beaut* → Boat*: As in, “Boat-iful people,” and “Boat-y mark,” and “I need my boat-y sleep,” and “Make boat-iful music together,” and “Boat-y is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Boat-y is only skin-deep.”
  • Reckon → Wrecken: As in “Do you wrecken we’ll make it through the storm?” and “I am a force to be wreckened with.”
  • Wreck: The word “wreck” has a few meanings other than shipwreck, including slang ones (like “Ohhh rekt!” and “He’s an emotional wreck.”) and the regular, formal ones (Like “My wedding was wrecked by the storm”).
  • Wife → Wharf: As in “My wharf likes our new boat.” and “What does your wharf think?”.
  • Very → Ferry: As in “That was a ferry impressive boat pun.”
  • *very* → *ferry*: If a word contains “very” it can be a boat pun: eferry (every), eferrything (everything), deliferry, discoferry, eferryday, eferrywhere, braferry, slaferry, thieferry.
  • Furry → Ferry: As in, “A ferry toy,” and “My legs are looking a bit ferry.”
  • Fairy → Ferry: As in, “Airy ferry,” and “A ferrytale ending,” and “Nobody loves a ferry when she’s forty.”
  • Vary → Ferry: As in, “Results may ferry,” and “Your mileage may ferry.” Note: Your mileage may vary is an expression indicating that something that works for one may not work for another. Is commonly shortened to YMMV. 
  • *fer → *ferry: As in, deferry (defer), conferry (confer), inferry (infer), referry (refer), offerry (offer), transferry (transfer), bufferry (buffer), preferry (prefer). 
  • Nefarious → Neferryous: As in, “A neferryous villain.”
  • Indecency → In decent sea: As in “The flagrant in decent sea of these images!”
  • Carved → Craft: As in “She’s craft out a nice little niche for herself.”
  • Of course → Off course: As in “Off course I like being the navigator!”
  • Wake: The “wake” is the trail of disturbed water left by a boat. Example sentences: “Wake up!” and “I’ve been awake for days.”
  • Shit → Ship: As in “Oh ship, we’re in trouble now.”
  • Boy → Buoy: As in “Oh buoy, I can’t wait.” and “Good morning, buoys and girls.”
  • Most → Mast: As in “This is mast amusing!” and “Mast boats have a sail.”
  • Must → Mast: As in “We mast sail towards that island!” and “We mastn’t get too confident”.
  • Mas* → Mast*: Sometimes a word that begins with “mas” can be made into a boat pun by a replacement of “mas” with “mast”: mastacre (massacre), mastculinity, mastonry, mastochistic, mastquerading, mastage (massage). Obviously we can also make puns when a word starts with “mast”: master, masterpiece, masterminding.
  • Grief → Greef: As in “Good greef!” and “He was overtaken by greef.”.
  • Naughty → Knotty: As in “He’s a very knotty boy!” and “Knotty or nice?”.
  • Scenic → Seanic: As in “Let’s take the seanic route.”
  • Sooner → Schooner: As in “Schooner or later.” and “I’ll call her schoon“. A “schooner” is a sailing ship with two or more masts.
  • Doc*→ Dock*: If a word begins with “doc”, it can often be switched with “dock”: docktor, dockument, dockumentation, docktrine, docktorate, dockumentary.
  • Clue → Crew: As in “I havn’t got a crew.”
  • Sel* → Sail*: If a word starts with “sel” a boat pun can often be made by replacing it with “sail”: sailection (selection), sailect (select), sailf (self), sailling (selling), sail (sell), saildom (seldom), sailfish (selfish), sailfless (selfless), sailective (selective).
  • Aphrodisiac → Aquadisiac: As in “I heard that water is actually an aquadisiac.”
  • Alchoholic → Aquaholic: As in “I’ve been an aquaholic for 5 years now.”
  • Sure → Shore: As in “Are you shore?” and “She shore is strong!”.
  • Barge: As in “You can’t just barge in here like that!”
  • How → Scow: A “scow” is a type of flat-bottomed sailing boat. As in “Scow could you do this to me?!”
  • Are c* → Ark: If a word starting with “c” follows the word “are”, then a play on “ark” can be created. For example: “Many ark called but few are chosen” and “Most people aren’t happy unless they ark complaining.”
  • *tag* → *tug*: If a word contains “tag” we can sometimes switch it with “tug” (short for tugboat): antugonistic (antagonistic), pentugon, stugnate, tugalong (tagalong).
  • Really → Reely: As in “This is a reely good boat pun” and “I’m having a reely good day on my boat!”.
  • Re* →Reel*: Most words starting with “re” can be made into fishing puns: reelationship, reelease, reelate, reelief, reeligion, reelative, reelevant, reelax, reeluctant, reeliable,, reeliability, reelieved, reeliance, reelay, reelapse, reelinquish, reeligation, reelive, reelentlessly.
  • What are → Water: “Water you doing out so late tonight?” and “Water you doing tomorrow?”
  • What are we → Watery: As in “Watery going to do?” and “Watery doing today, friends?”
  • Whatever → Waterever: As in “Waterever, I don’t care.” and “Do waterever you want”.
  • What her → Water: As in “I know water problem is.” and “Do you know water mother thinks about this?”.
  • What do → Water: As in “Water you think about this?”
  • What about → Water boat: As in “Water boat we have tofu curry for dinner tonight?” and “Water boat Ching? Does she want to come to the beach too?”
  • *pear → *peir: As in “Then all of a sudden she dissapiered!” and “After appiering to check his watch, he quickly ran away.” and “That is a sharp spier you’ve got there”.
  • Confiscate → Conch-fish-scate: As in “I’m going to have to conchfishcate your pun licence for that one.” See the entry on fish puns for more.
  • Row/Roe: “Row” as in “row your boat” and “roe” as in fish or shellfish eggs, are two words that can be inserted into many other words: roetine/rowtine (routine), rowmans/roemans (romans), rowtation/roetation (rotation), rowd/roed (rowed), rowse (rose), rowl (roll), rowp, rowmantic, rowbust, rowbot, rowgue, roest.
  • *row: If a word ends in “row” it’s an easy rowing pun: grow, throw, narrow, tomorrow, borrow, arrow, eyebrow, sorrow, overthrow, barrow, burrow, crow, harrow, marrow, sparrow, furrow, wheelbarrow, scarecrow, farrow, outgrow. Variations of these like growing, borrowing, sorrowful, etc. also work.
  • Kill → Keel: As in “We can be healthy with plants, keeling animals is not necessary.”
  • Skull → Scull: As in “If you could get it into your thick scull!” A scull is a small oar.
  • Flag: As in “We should flag that comment as inappropriate.”
  • Punned → Punt: A “punt” is a type of long, narrow, flat-bottomed boat, so this is a lovely self-referential boat pun about punning: “I’ve punt about boats for long enough.”
  • *kily → *keely: Words containing “kil” can often be turned into boat puns: luckeely, huskeely, shakeely, silkeely, cheekeely, jerkeely, sneakeely, spookeely, freakeely.
  • Kil* → Keel*: Words starting with “kil” can be made into boat puns: keelogram, keelolitres, keeln (kiln), keeling, keeler, keelt (kilt), keeljoy.
  • Something → Somefin: As in “There’s somefin about the way he walks” and “Is that a shark, or somefin else?”.
  • Nothing → Nofin: As in “Nofin is better than swimming with dolphins” and “I’ve got nofin left to give!”.
  • Debate → Debait: As in “I don’t want to debait you.” and “Well, that’s debaitable“.
  • Summon → Salmon: As in “He salmoned a spirit from the underworld.” and “Please salmon the duke, I have an urgent message!”.
  • Someone → Salmon: As in “Will salmon please help me?” and “Salmon’s at the door”.
  • Crea* → Cray*: Many words that begin with “crea” can be used to make shoddy crayfish puns. For example: crayture (creature), craytive (creative), crayte (create).
  • Crayon: The word “crayon” includes “cray” – the short version of “crayfish”, and so can be used as a pun.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • *sk if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “sk” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “Before giving it to her, askiff she wants it.” and “We’ll be back by duskiff we can fix this motor.” Many more words fit this pattern: riskiff (risk if), deskiff (desk if), taskiff (task if), diskiff, maskiff, briskiff, flaskiff, kioskiff, baskiff, whiskif, muskiff.
  • *s if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “s” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “As skiff!” and “You sound as skiff you’re a bit sick?” and “Ask us skiff you need anything!” There are obviously thousands of words ending in “s” so you can create your own puns using this formula with the help of a list like this.
  • Y’all → Yawl: As in “How are yawl doing today?” A yawl is a type of sailboat.
  • *sib* → *ship*: If a word contains “sib” it can usually be replaced with “ship” to create a terrible pun. For example: posshiply (possibly), accesshipility (accessibility), incomprehenshiple, feashipble, irresponshipble, invishipble, ostenshipbly, revershipble, vishipble. An example sentence might be: “I am responshiple for my puns.”
  • Like → lake: As in “Swim lake a fish.” and “Lake a fish out of water.”
  • *sip* → *ship*: If a word contains “sip” it can usually be replaced with “ship”. For example: gosship (gossip), dishipate (dissipate), shipping (sipping), inshipid (insipid).
  • Purpose → Porpoise: As in “I didn’t do it on porpoise!” and “She porpoisely ran the ship aground.”
  • Trolling → Trawling: As in “Haha, naa I’m just trawling.” and “Not sure if he’s an internet trawl.” Trawling is a method of fishing.
  • San* → Sand*: Replacing “san” with “sand” when it is at the start of a word give some nice corny puns: sanditary (sanitary), sandctioned (sanctioned), sandctuary (sanctuary), sandguine (sanguine), sandctions (sanctions). Note: sanguine has two meanings: being optimistic or positive in the face of a difficult situation, and a reddish-brown colour.
  • Bereft → Bereeft: “bereft of” means “deprived of” of “lacking”. So an example sentence might be: “The old, stark beach house of bereefed of colour”.
  • Or → Oar: As in “Let’s go oar we’ll be late!” and “Should we swim oar keep sunbaking?”.
  • Or* → Oar*: If a word starts with “or” it can be replaced with “oar” for a neat little boat pun. Some examples: oarganisation, oariginally, oarange, oarchestra, oargan, oarbit, oarnament, oarthodoxy, oariental, oarnaments, oarchid, oardering.
  • Awe → Oar: As in “It was truly oar-inspiring.”
  • Aw* → Oar*: If a word starts with “aw” it can sometimes be made into an oar pun: oarsome (awesome), oar-wareness (awareness), oarful (aweful), oar-waited (awaited), oarkward (awkward), oar-ware (aware), oar-wakened (awakened), oary (awry).
  • Sea*: Most words starting with “sea” are easy sea puns: season, seasonal, seated, searingly, sealants, seam, seatbelt.
  • Seizure → Seazure: As in “If I read one more ocean pun I’m going to have a seazure.”
  • See* → Sea*: If a word starts with “see” it can often be replaced with “sea” to create a simple sea pun: seaminly, seads, seaker, seathe, seap, seak, sean, sea (see).
  • Sealant / Sealing / Seal: Easy seal puns can be made with words starting with “seal” (e.g. sealant, seal) or “ceil” (e.g. sealing).
  • Se* → Sea*: Some words that start with just “se” also have a “sea”-ish sound: seacret, searious, seargeant, seacretion, seacure, seacurity, seacondary, seacretariat, seaconds, seacrete, searum, searenity, searvitude, seanile, seadation, seaclusion, seacretive, seaze, seaquential, sealection, seacretly, seaquences, seanior, seaniority, seagregate, seaping, seacession, seariousness, seaminars, seaveral, seaxual, seaparation, seantimental, seansational, seaquential, seacluded, seacularist, seathing, seaquin, seasame, seaclusion.
  • *cy → *sea: If a word ends in “cy” it’s an easy “sea” pun: polisea, agensea, democrasea, currensea, emergensea, efficiensea, tendensea, frequensea, fansea, constituensea, pregnansea, accurasea, redundansea, bureaucrasea, presidensea, legasea, conspirasea, mersea, privasea, bankruptsea, consistensea, literasea, urgensea, deficiensea, dependency, consultansea, tenacity, isea (icy), secresea, intimasea.
  • Se*cy/Ce*cy → Sea*sea: Most words that start with “se” or “ce” and end with “cy” can be double sea puns: seacresea (secrecy), sealibasea (celibacy).
  • Should* → Shoald*: A “shoal” can refer to a large group of fish, or an area of shallow water, or an underwater sand bank. We can use “shoal” be used to make puns like: shoald (should), shoalder (shoulder), shoaldering.
  • Show l* → Shoal: This is a subtle one because it involves a word break. Whenever you use the word “show”, and the following word starts with an “L”, then you can replace “show” with “shoal” (a shoal is a large school of fish). For example: “That’s cool! You should shoal Liam.” and “She laughs when we shoal little blue flowers to her.”.
  • *tual* → *shoal*: As mentioned above, A “shoal” can refer to a large group of fish, or an area of shallow water, or an underwater sand bank. If a word contains “tual” it can often be replaced with “shoal” for a cute little pun: actshoal (actual), actshoality (actuality), intellectshoal (intellectual), ritshoal (ritual), spiritshoal, mutshoally, eventshoal, eventshoally, conceptshoal, conceptshoalise, virtshoal, contractshoal, factshoal, factshoally, perpetshoal, textshoal, contextshoal, perceptshoal, punctshoal, instinctshoal, actshoally, habitshoally.
  • *sole → *shoal: As in “The shoal of my shoe is worn down.” and “Your new gaming conshoal is cool.” and “Yeah, he’s a bit of an asshoal.”
  • Defin* → Dolphin: As in “We dolphinitely need more time to finish the mission.” and “What is the dolphinition of this word?” and “Please dolphine this word.” and “It’s the dolphinitive source of Nordic history.”
  • Endorphines → Endolphins: As in “I love that rush of endolphins you get after a good hard swimming session.”
  • Bae → Bay: As in “Bay! Please stop with the beach puns, you’re embarrassing me.”
  • Combine → Combrine: As in “With our power combrined we should be able to defeat them.” and “It’s what you get when you combrine salt and water”. Similar puns can be made for most words ending in “bine”: turbrine (turbine), concubrine (concubine), columbrine (columbine).
  • Specific → Pacific: As in “You need to be more pacific.” and “Are you sure you have the pacifications for this?” and “Pacifically, there are two apples and three nectarines”.
  • Wish → Fish: As in “I just fish we had more time!” and “If you rub the lamp you get three fishes“. See the entry on fish puns for more.
  • Stark → Shark: As in “The shark contrast between his and his boyfriend’s attire was intriguing.” and “The old, shark house stood looming above us”.
  • *ways → *waves: Words than end in “ways” can be made into bad wave puns: alwaves (always), railwaves (railways), sidewaves, pathwaves, lengthwaves, doorwaves.
  • Title → Tidal: As in “I like it, but I’m not sure on the tidal” and “Use ‘Ms.’ as her tidal” and “The championship tidal match is tomorrow morning.”
  • Acquaintance → Aquaintance: As in “I don’t know her well, she’s just an aquaintance“.
  • Naughty → Nauty: As in “There’s that nauty sailor again”.
  • Tied → Tide: As in “I’m tide up at the moment, can someone else help?” and “Yep, they tide the knot!”
  • Tidy → Tidey: As in “After the party we need to tidey the beach.”
  • Gullible → Seagullible: As in “Kyani is so seagullible!”
  • Crazy → Cray-sea: As in “He is so craysea!” and “Enough of this crayseaness!”. Hyphen is, of course, optional.
  • Turn → Tern: A “tern” is a sea bird similar to a seagull, but smaller and with a forked tail.
  • About/Abode → Aboat: As in “What aboat the captain?” and “Welcome to my aboat!”
  • Big/Large/Massive → Titanic: Replace adjectives which mean “big” with “titanic“.
  • Fission → Fishin’: As in “Nuclear fishin’ is an exciting new technology.” See the entry on fish puns for more.
  • Birth → Berth: A “berth” is a ship’s allotted place at a dock or wharf. Examples: “Lucky I was using berth control!” and “Nothing but my berthday suit!”
  • Fathom: A “fathom” is a unit of length equal to 6 feet (~1.8m) and is most commonly used in reference to the depth of water. Example sentences: “I can’t fathom what she means.” and “It’s completely unfathomable!”
  • Strip → Ship: As in “A weird ship-tease” and “A thin blue ship of metal” and “I’m shipping you of your privileges.”
  • *anker → *anchor: most words ending in “anker” can be anchor puns: banchor (banker), tanchor (tanker), flanchor (flanker), hanchor (flanker), spanchor (flanker), danchor (danker).
  • Rudder →Utter: As in “I’m rudderly embarrassed!” and “Pure, rudder silence.”
  • Properly → Propellorly: As in “Propellorly lame, if you ask me.” and “Finish the job propellorly.”
  • Dinghy → Dingy: A “dinghy” is a small boat and it sounds a bit like the word “dingy” which has multiple slang definitions including “gloomy and drab”.
  • Admirably → Admiralably: As in “You handled that admiralably, son.”
  • Swell: “Swell” has several meanings: “the rolling movement of waves”, “become larger in size” and “excellent/wonderful/fashionable” to name a few. Example sentences: “Dude, that was swell.” and “I can sense his ego swelling as we speak.”
  • Assail: As in “We were assailed by pirates on our way here.” and “This ship is unassailable.”
  • Sale → Sail: As in “There’s a big sail down at the boat store.”
  • *sale* → *sail*: Words containing “sale” can be turned into sailing puns: presail, resail, sailsclerk, sailsperson, wholesail.
  • Exhale → Ex-sail: As in, “Inhale, ex-sail.”
  • *sil*→ *sail*: Words with a “sil” sound can be changed to “sail”: “Imbesail (imbecile),” and “Reconsail (reconcile),” and “Sailence (silence).”
  • Can you → Canoe: As in “I can’t think of any more boat puns. Canoe?”
  • I’m out of → Armada: An “armada” is a fleet of warships. Example sentences: “This is scary! Armada here!” and “Armada boat puns, do you have any?”.
  • You t* → Yacht*: If a word beginning with “t” follows the word “you”, a yacht pun can often be made. For example: “You’ll never know till yachtry.” and “I’m glad I bumped into yachtoday.”
  • Harbour: As in, “Harbour a grudge,” and “Safe harbour.” 
  • Pier: As in, “Take a long walk off a short pier.” 
  • Peer → Pier: As in, “Pier pressure,” and “Pier-ing through the curtains.”
  • Cog*: As in, “Cogito ergo sum,” and “Just another cog in the machine.” Notes: cogito ergo sum is a philosophical expression meaning “I think, therefore I am.” A cog is a type of ship. 
  • Clog → Cog: As in, “Clever cogs,” and “Cog up,” and “Pop your cogs.” Notes: Clever clogs is a disapproving way of saying that someone is clever, but in an irritating way. To pop your clogs is to die. 
  • *cog*: As in, “Cognitive,” and “Cognition,” and “Incognito,” and “Recognise,” and “Recognition.” 
  • Overboard: As in, “Man overboard!” and “This is going overboard.”
  • * port*: As in, “Any port in a storm,” and “Blow out of proportion,” and “The first port of call,” and “A golden opportunity,” and “Land of opportunity,” and “Moral support,” and “What’s more important here?” Note: a port is a commercial facility where ships dock to load and unload cargo. 
  • Maria → Marina: As in “Marina, could you please pass the pepper?”
  • Maureen/Mareen  → Marine: As in “Marine, your name works well as boat pun.”

Boat-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to boats can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the boat themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • A stern talking to
  • Off the hook
  • Boy meets girl (Buoy meets gull)
  • Go to hell (hull)
  • They tied (tide) the knot
  • Batten down the hatches
  • Harboring strong feelings
  • Rock the boat
  • Pleasure craft
  • Hanging about (aboat)
  • All for naught (nautical)
  • Above board
  • As helpful as a screen door on a submarine
  • Throwing the baby out with the bathwater (bilge water)
  • Loose lips sink ships
  • Barge right in
  • Drown your sorrows
  • Drunk as a sailor
  • Fish out of water
  • He’s fishing for compliments
  • Hook, line and sinker,
  • A sea change
  • Knots in one’s stomach
  • Rats abandon a sinking ship
  • Plain sailing
  • She’s not the only fish in the sea
  • Strait and narrow
  • Still waters run deep
  • Take the wind out of his sails
  • Three sheets in the wind
  • Throw caution to the winds
  • To fish in troubled waters
  • Captain of one’s soul
  • Cast your bread upon the waters
  • Come hell or high water
  • Dead in the water
  • Devil and the deep blue sea
  • Different kettle of fish
  • A whale of a good time
  • Dock your pay
  • From sea to shining sea
  • Get your second wind
  • Anchors aweigh
  • Hold at bay
  • Any port in a storm
  • I didn’t come down the clyde in a banana boat
  • In hot water
  • Keep your head above water
  • Know which way the wind blows
  • Like a cork in the ocean
  • May the wind be at your back
  • A fine kettle of fish
  • Sleep with the fishes
  • Sink or swim
  • Something smells fishy
  • Tell that to the marines
  • That’s water under the bridge
  • Up shit creek without a paddle
  • Walk the plank
  • Wind swept hair
  • Water over the dam
  • Water, water everywhere, but not a drop to drink

Boat-Related Words

There are likely hundred more boat puns to be made, and that aren’t included in this Punpedia entry, so here’s a list of boat-related words to help you in your pun authorship process. If you come up with a good one, please share it with us in the comments at the bottom of the page!

ship, canoe, yacht, fathom, wake, marina, pleasure craft, sail, sailboat, watercraft, motorboat, pontoon, barge, tugboat, kayak, lifeboat, scow, longboat, powerboat, rowboat, vessel, ferry, sculler, bumboat, steamboat, ark, gondola, navigation, propellor, tug, submarine, navy, sloop, skiff, dinghy, paddleboat, yawl, boating, boater, paddle, houseboat, schooner, formast, surfboat, boatyard, troller, sailing, freighter, trawler, fisherman, dock, hull, planing, felucca, trimaran, lake, ocean, sea, barque, galleon, trireme, sailor, mainsail, foresail, carrack, rudder, water, topsail, mast, pinnace, cutter, row, punt, mooring, oar, scull, oars, tack, mackinaw, hoy, galley, boatie, boatload, topmast, shipbuilder, jetboat, jibe, lateen, nautical, monohull, cruise ship, plank, deck, poop deck, bow, cannon, motor, fishing, fish, scuba, diving, ahoy, submersible, hovercraft, aboard, board, landing, headsail, aground, captain, flag, cruise, craft, crew, docked, sink, shipwreck, bilge, bilge pump, titanic, pirate, sank, drown, moored, float, buoy, buoyant, buoyancy, warship, deckhand, outboard motor, harpoon, fishing rod, fibreglass, fleet, steamer, stern, tanker, ice-breaker, catamaran, messmate, port, porthole, anchor, rig, knot, bowsprit, container ship, pirate ship, slave trade, naval, wind, wave, waves, battleship, corvette, supertanker, mayflower, stranded, mutiny, peg leg, windlass, flagship, bay, life jacket, Mediterranean, Pacific, quarterdeck, onboard, monsoon, sunken, boarded, coast guard, abandon ship, bail out, piracy, cargo hold, cargo, banana boat, seawater, ocean spray, reef, whale, ocean liner, super liner, seagulls, mainstay, grapnel, davit, cox, crossjack, reel, rod, net, haul, jigger, clip, knots, riding lamp, canal, fishery, sharpie, torpedo, adrift, pier, ballast, cuddy, seamen, dredge, ferrying, marine, coastal, oceanic, Atlantic, gulf, seagoing, seafaring, offshore, seaborne, strait, dhow, frigate, asea, mariner, seafloor, shipping, Carribean, harbor, coastline, cruiser, destroyer, seaworthy, voyage, sweep, square sail, balloon sail, bearing, pintoon, river, skipper, commodore, helmsman, admiral, colonel, shipmaster, circumnavigate, crow’s nest, hydro, hydroplane, anchoring, submerged, cabin, docks, jetski, fish finder, ketch, radar, starboard, port side, astern, inboard, abaft, bulkhead, armada

Boat Jokes

Only the most terrible jokes use puns in their punchline, and so it is with great pleasure that we bring you the most terrible boat jokes!

  • Which type of vegetable is banned on ships? – Leeks!
  • What’s a pirate’s favorite letter? – Aye, you may think it’s the RRRRR, but it’s the C that they’re in love with!
  • What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? – A nervous wreck!
  • When the bottom of a cargo ship got a hole, it had one hull of a problem.
  • The cost of a galvanized hull is enough to zinc a ship.
  • When the captain’s ship ran aground he couldn’t fathom why.
  • What did the ship’s captain say when he got stuck trying to navigate through a narrow channel? – We’re in dire straits!
  • Why is sailing like oil drilling? – They’re both a crewd business!
  • How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? – A buck-an-ear!
  • Why couldn’t the famous pirate sell his ship? – Because it was unassailable.
  • Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? – He was worried about cap sizing
  • What’s another name for the captain of a sail boat? – A sails manager!
  • Why is pirating addictive? – Once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
  • I used to have a fear of boats, but that ship has sailed.
  • Making a boat out of stone would be a hardship.
  • A pirate ship is assailing vessel.
  • I once saw a juggler juggling twenty paddles. It was oar inspiring.
  • Why were cruises cheaper before steam boats were invented?  – Because cruises were always on sail
  • Do you want to keep paddling in circles or not? It’s an either oar situation.
  • I’m not one for buoyancy, but whatever floats your boat.
  • Big sale on rowing paddles at my local shop. It’s quite an oar deal.
  • I refused to live in the same cabin as the captain. This didn’t boat dwell with him.
  • Old sailors never die, they just get a little dinghy.
  • I can’t think of any more boat puns. Canoe?
  • A tanker transporting blue paint collided into another tanker carrying red paint. Both crews were marooned.
  • Why did the admiral decide against buying a new hat? – He was afraid of cap sizing.

Boat Pun Images

Looking for visual boat puns? We’ve got you covered. Here’s some beautiful and terrible puns in image-form. If you find a good one that isn’t included here, or if you create you own, please share it with us by linking in the comments!

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

All stocked up on boat puns? Or maybe you’re looking for something more specific that wasn’t in this entry? More boat jokes? More visual puns? A bigger list of boat puns that you can use in conversation? Whatever the case, please let us know in the comments! One of our curators or a member of the Punpedia community will do their best to help you out. And as always, if you have any boat puns that we don’t, please share them with us in the comments! Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂