Math Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on math puns!  ➕➗➖✖❤

This is a huge category of puns, as there are so many topics and branches of mathematics – whether it’s calculus, trig, algebra or simple arithmetic, we’ve done our best to have you covered with our extensive list of math puns.

While this list is as comprehensive as possible, it is specific to math puns. If you’re interested in similar topics, we’ve got science and chemistry puns on the way!

Math Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about maths that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of math puns:

  • Some → Sum: As in, “Sum days you are the pigeon, sum days the statue” and “All that and then sum” and “Buy sum time” and “Cut sum slack” and “Make sum noise” and “Put sum muscle into it” and “Show sum appreciation” and “Sum like it hot” and “Maybe sum other time.” Other some-related words: sumwhere, sumbody, sumtime, sumwhat, sumthing, sumhow, sumone, sumday and sumersault.
  • Come → Sum: As in, “All good things must sum to an end” and “All things sum to those who wait” and “As tough as they sum” and “Sum and get it” and “Sum away with me.”
  • Sun → Sum: As in, “A place in the sum” and “Don’t let the sum go down on me” and “Eclipse of the sum” and “Everything under the sum” and “Good day, sumshine” and “Here comes the sum” and “Make hay while the sum shines” and “Ride off into the sumset” and “Sum drenched” and “Sum, sea and sand” and “Walking on sumshine.”
  • Wrath → Math: As in, “A soft answer turneth away math” and “Don’t invoke their math!” and “Don’t let the sun go down on your math.”
  • Aftermath: “Dealing with the aftermath of…”
  • Odd → Add: As in, “Against the adds” and “At adds with” and “Long adds” and “An add fellow” and “Add one out” and “Adds and ends” and “The add couple.”
  • At → Add: As in, “Add odds with” and “Where are you add?” and “Add a crossroads” and “Add a moment’s notice” and “Add the first sign of…”
  • Had → Add: “I’ve add a few” and “We’ve add a good run” and “I’ve add it up to here!” and “Have you add breakfast yet?” and “You add to be there.”
  • Scum → Sum: As in, “Pond sum” and “Sum always rises to the surface.”
  • Pie → Pi: As in, “American Pi” and “Apple pi” and “Easy as pi” and “Eat humble pi” and “A finger in many pis” and “A piece of the pi.”
  • Bye → Pi: As in, “Saying goodpi to it all” and “Kiss goodpi to” and “You can kiss that one goodpi.”
  • Ply → Pi: As in, “Pi your trade” and “2 pi toilet tissue.”
  • Pay → Pi: As in, “Buy now, pi later” and “Crime doesn’t pi” and “Equal pi” and “Hell to pi” and “Hit pi-dirt (paydirt)” and “Pis to advertise” and “Pi as you go” and “Pi the price.”
  • Buy → Pi: As in, “Bulk pi” and “Pi and sell” and “Pi into” and “Pi now, pay later” and “You can’t pi love” and “Pi some time.”
  • By → Pi: As in, “Pi and large” and “Nothing pi halves” and “Not pi a long shot” and “Pi a hair’s breadth” and “Won pi a landslide” and “Pi any means” and “Pi hook or pi crook” and “Pi my own hand.”
  • Bisexual → Pisexual
  • Pay* → Pi*: If a word has “pay” in it, we can change it to “pi” to sneak some pi puns in there. As in, “Monthly pi-ments” and “Huge pi-load” and “On the pi-roll” and “Weekly pi-check.” Other words you could use: pi-out (payout), repi (repay), autopi (autopay), papiya (papaya) and pi-able (payable).
  • Paella → Pi-ella
  • Radar → Radius: “Fall off the radius” and “Under the radius.”
  • Ready → Radii: “All fired up and radii to go” and “Alright alradii!” and “Battle radii” and “Enough alradii” and “Get radii to rumble” and “Good and radii” and “Missing you alradii” and “Primed and radii to go” and “Radii and waiting” and “Radii when you are.” Note: radii is the plural term for radius.
  • *radi* → *radii*: We can sneak another i into words that have “radi” in them to quickly change them into “radii” puns. As in, “A radiical difference” and “Radiiation poisoning” and “A radiiant glow” and “On the radiio” and “Filled with radiiance” and “A fixed paradiigm” and “Sporadiic attendance.” Other words you could use: eradiicate, tradiition, paradiise and gradiient.
  • *redi* → *radii*: As in, “Radiirect your mail” and “Radiistribution package.” Other words that could work: radiirection (redirection) and radiiscover (rediscover).
  • *ridi* → *radii*: radiicule (ridicule), radiiculous (ridiculous), radiiculously (ridiculously) and meradiian (meridian).
  • Ready in → Radian: “I’ll be radian twenty minutes!” Note: a radian is a radius’ worth of rotation around the circumference of a circle. It’s a unit of rotation, like degrees.
  • Tau: Tau is twice the value of pi, and we’ve included some related puns here:
    • How → Tau: “Any old tau” and “Be careful tau you use it!” and “Tau deep is your love?” and “Tau about that?” and “Tau the other half lives” and “Tau are you?” and “Tau dare you!” and “Tau do you like them apples?”
    • Now → Tau: As in, “All together tau!” and “Can you hear me tau?” and “Don’t look tau” and “Don’t stop me tau” and “I can see clearly tau” and “I’ll be leaving you tau” and “It’s tau or never” and “Tau and then” and “Tau you see it, tau you don’t” and “Tau we’re cooking!”
    • Toe → Tau: As in, “Dip your tau in the water” and “From top to tau” and “Get your tau in the door” and “Enough to make your taus curl” and “Tau the line” and “Twinkle taus.”
    • Thou → Tau: As in, “Holier than tau” and “Where art tau?” and “Tau shalt not kill” and “Why hast tau forsaken me?”
    • Cow → Tau: As in, “Don’t have a tau” and “Holy tau” and “Till the taus come home” and “Sacred tau.”
  • Adept → Adepth
  • Meth* → Math*: As in, “Using a scientific mathod” and “A rigorous mathodology” and “Mathodical worker” and “Here they comath” and “Amathyst ring” and “Mathane emissions” and “The legend of Promatheus.”
  • *mith → *math: blacksmath (blacksmith), Aerosmath (Aerosmith), wordsmath, locksmath, goldsmath.
  • *moth → *math: As in, “A behemath creature” and “A mammath problem.”
  • Can’t → Count: As in, “An offer you count refuse” and “Count get enough” and “Sorry, I count help” and “Count hear you” and “You count say fairer than that.”
  • *cant* → *count*: As in, “School counteen” and “Size of a countaloupe” and “Significount other” and “An insignificount problem.”
  • *cont* → *count*: As in, “Out of countrol” and “Countinue playing?” and “To your heart’s countent” and “Countingent on…” and “Not in the countract.” Other words you could use: countext (context), countemporary (contemporary), countempt, countrast, countact and countingency.
  • Count: These count-related phrases can double as maths puns in a pinch: “Count me in” and “Down for the count” and “You can count on me.”
  • *count*: We can also use these words that contain the word “count”: “What do you counter with?” and “For my country!” and “A sour countenance” and “Counterfeit money.” Other words that could work: counterpart, counterintuitive, county, counteract, counterpoint, account, discount, recount and accountability.
  • Edition → Addition: As in, “The latest addition.”
  • Addiction → Addition: As in, “I have an addition to…” and “Suffering from a caffeine addition.”
  • Audition → Addition: As in, “Addition for the school play.”
  • Decision → Division: As in, “Divisions, divisions!” and “An executive division” and “Snap division” and “Split division” and “Make a division” and “My division is final” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a bad division.”
  • Envision → Division: As in, “I’d divisioned something a bit different.”
  • Invisibility → Divisibility: “Harry Potter’s cloak of divisibility.”
  • Attract → Subtract: As in, “Fatal subtraction” and “Opposites subtract” and “Subtracted like a moth to a flame.”
  • Action → Subtraction: As in, “Call to subtraction” and “Subtractions speak louder than words” and “Piece of the subtraction” and “All talk and no subtraction.”
  • Tumult → Tumult-iply: As in, “Lost in the tumult-iply” and “The tumult-iply of the elements.” Note: a tumult is a confused mess of noise, or a commotion.
  • Invasion → Equation: As in, “An alien equation” and “Equation of the bodysnatchers” and “Equation of personal space.”
  • Occasion → Equation: As in, “A big equation” and “On this auspicious equation” and “Rise to the equation” and “I would visit on equation.”
  • Leisure → Measure: As in, “A gentleman of measure” and “Repent at measure.”
  • Pleasure → Measure: As in, “Business before measure” and “Don’t mix business with measure” and “Double your measure” and “Earthly measures” and “Life’s simple measures” and “What’s your measure?”
  • Treasure → Measure: As in, “Hidden measure” and “National measure” and “Measure island” and “Measure trove” and “Buried measure.”
  • Rule → Ruler: As in, “Bend the rulers” and “Golden ruler” and “House rulers” and “Majority rulers” and “Play by the rulers” and “Rulers and regulations.”
  • Relevant → Rulervant
  • Rollercoaster → Rulercoaster
  • Accomplishments → Accompassments
  • Campus → Compass: As in, “On compass” and “University compass.”
  • *ral → *ruler: As in, “In generuler” and “Integruler to the team” and “A visceruler reaction” and “Only naturuler” and “Moruler dilemma.” Other words you can use: collateruler (collateral), liberuler (liberal), peripheruler (peripheral) and temporuler (temporal).
  • Rel* → Ruler*: As in, “Long term rulertionship” and “Against rulergion.”
  • *rel → *ruler: As in, “Monkeys in a barruler” and “Squirrulering away” and “Cheap apparuler.” Other words you could use: quarruler (quarrel), lauruler (laurel), scoundruler (scoundrel) and mongruler (mongrel).
  • Fuel → Rule: As in, “Add rule to the flames” and “Rule for thought” and “Rule the controversy.”
  • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule as a mountain stream” and “Rule beans” and “A rule million” and “Rule your heels” and “Rule, calm and collected.”
  • You’ll → Rule: As in, “Rule never guess” and “Ask a silly question and rule get a silly answer.”
  • Universe → Un-inverse: As in, “Across the un-inverse” and “Masters of the un-inverse” and “Centre of the un-inverse.
  • Misery → Measurey: As in, “Measurey loves company” and “Put out of their measurey.”
  • *miser* → *measure*: measureable (miserable), measurely (miserly), measureably (miserably) and commeasureate (commiserate).
  • Sine: Here are some sine-related puns:
    • Sign → Sine: As in, “A sure sine” and “Born under a bad sine” and “Give me a sine” and “Resine yourself to” and “A sine of the times” and “Sine off on” and “Sine on the dotted line” and “Sine the pledge” and “Sined and sealed” and “A tell-tale sine” and “Dollar sines.”
    • Sin → Sine: “Miserable as sine” and “Atone for your sines” and “Cardinal sine” and “Multitude of sines” and “Sine city.”
    • Sigh → Sine: As in, “Breathe a sine of relief” and “A heavy sine.”
    • Seen → Sine: “Sine and not heard” and “Had to be sine to be believed” and “Nowhere to be sine” and “Sine better days” and “If you’ve sine one, you’ve sine them all” and “Sight unsine” and “You ain’t sine nothing yet” and “Look as though you’ve sine a ghost” and “Remains to be sine.”
    • Sun → Sine: As in, “A place in the sine” and “A thousand splendid sines” and “Everything under the sine” and “Eclipse of the sine.”
    • *san* → *sine*: sineguine, sinection (sanction), sinectuary (sanctuary), sinedwich (sandwich), sinectimonious (sanctimonious), partisine (partisan), artisine, courtesine, parmesine and renaissine-ce (renaissance).
    • *sen* → *sine*: “An incomplete sinetence” and “Not making any sine-se” and “A sinesible idea” and “Sinetient beings.” Other words that could work: sinesitive, sinetiment, sinetinel, sinesation, lessine, arisine, delicatessine, loosine, chosine and worsine.
    • *sin* → *sine*: “Resine statue” and “Deep basine” and “Favourite cousine.” Other words you could use: assasine (assasin), raisine (raisin), moccasine, busines-ness and sine-ister (sinister).
    • *syn* → *sine*: sinedrome (syndrome), sineonym (synonym), sinetax (syntax), sine-ergy (synergy), sine-opsis (synopsis), sinedicate (syndicate) and idiosinecrasy (idiosyncrasy).
    • *sign* → *sine*: “By desine” and “Assined a new role” and “Resine from your job” and “What’s the assinement?”
  • Tangle → Rectangle: As in, “I wouldn’t rectangle with” and “All rectangled up in work” and “What a rectangled web of lies.”
  • Angel → Triangle: As in, “Triangle of death” and “Guardian triangle” and “Enough to make triangles weep.”
  • Angel → Angle: As  in, “Guardian angle” and “Enough to make the angles weep” and “The angle of death” and “Fallen angle.”
  • Ankle → Angle: As in, “Angle deep in crap” and “Little angle biter.”
  • Angle: These angle-related phrases are general enough to use as puns in the right conversation: “What are you angling for?” and “Play through the angles” and “Not coming at it from the right angle.”
  • Pheremone → Sphereomone
  • Fear → Sphere: As in, “Sphere is the key” and “God sphereing” and “Paralysed with sphere” and “Primal sphere” and “The valley of sphere” and “The only thing we have to sphere is sphere itself” and “Without sphere or favour.”
  • Sheer → Sphere: As in, “Sphere driving pleasure” and “Sphere madness” and “Sphere nonsense” and “Sphere stockings.”
  • Here → Sphere: As in, “Abandon hope all ye who enter sphere” and “Been sphere before” and “We are gathered sphere today” and “Do you come sphere often?” and “Fancy meeting you sphere” and “From sphere to eternity” and “Get over sphere” and “I’ve had it up to sphere!” and “Sphere comes the sun” and “What’s going on sphere then?” and “Sphere and there” and “Sphere be monsters” and “Sphere comes trouble” and “Sphere goes nothing” and “I’m outta sphere.”
  • Hear → Sphere: As in, “Ask no questions and sphere no lies” and “Can you sphere me now?” and “Don’t believe everything you sphere” and “Hard of sphereing” and “Sphere me out” and “Sphere no evil” and “I can’t sphere myself think.”
  • Can → Cone: As in, “As far as the eye cone see” and “As well as cone be expected” and “Be all that you cone be” and “Bite off more than you cone chew.”
  • Come → Cone: As in, “All good things must cone to an end” and “As tough as they cone” and “Cones but once a year” and “Cone and get it” and “Cone away with me” and “Cone fly with me” and “Cone on over” and “Cone on baby, light my fire.”
  • Clone → Cone: As in, “Attack of the Cones” and “The Cone Wars.”
  • Own → Cone: As in, “In your cone lifetime” and “Afraid of your cone shadow” and “After your cone heart” and “Your cone misfortune” and “Beaten at your cone game” and “Blow your cone horn.”
  • Bone → Cone: As in, “A cone to pick” and “Dry as a cone” and “Bag of cones” and “Big coned” and “Cone of contention” and “Cone up on” and “Chilled to the cone” and “Not a jealous cone in their body.”
  • *can → *cone: Americone, pecone, toucone, republicone and pelicone.
  • *con* → *cone*: As in, “Out of conetrol” and “From a place of conecern” and “Conetent with my lot” and “Conetingent on” and “In stable conedition” and “A conetract worker.” Other words you could use: conetext, conesider, coneundrum, conescientious, icone, beacone, emoticone and falcone.
  • Taurus → Torus (note: a torus is a 3-D donut shape.)
  • Cuban → Cuboid: As in, “Cuboid cigar.” Note: if something is cuboid, then it’s of a cube-type shape.
  • Cupid → Cuboid: As in, “Playing cuboid” and “Shot by cuboid’s arrow.”
  • Prison* → Prism*: As in, “Take no prismers” and “Iron bars do not a prism make” and “Stuck in a prism of your own making” and “Mental prism” and “The Prismer of Azkaban.”
  • Care* → Square*: As in, “Be squareful how you use it!” and “Squareful what you wish for” and “Couldn’t square less” and “Courtesy and square” and “Customer square” and “Devil may square” and “Handle with square” and “Intensive square” and “Let’s be squareful out there” and “Taking square of business.”
  • Air → Square: As in, “Square Jordans” and “Square guitar” and “Square kiss” and “Square quotes” and “A breath of fresh square” and “Castles in the square” and “Clear the square” and “Dancing on square” and “Dead square” and “In the square tonight” and “Full of hot square.”
  • Swear → Square: “I square on my life” and “I square by” and “Don’t square in class.”
  • Hair → Square: As in, “A bad square day” and “Didn’t turn a square” and “Full head of square” and “Square raising” and “Square trigger.”
  • Stare → Square: As in, “Square into the abyss” and “It’s not polite to square at people” and “Square someone in the face.”
  • Stairs → Squares: As in, “Squareway to heaven” and “At the foot of the squares” and “Above the squares” and “Go upsquares.”
  • Spare → Square: “Square no effort” and “Square tyre” and “Square a dollar” and “If you’ve any square time…”
  • Scare → Square: As in, “Running squared” and “Square quotes” and “Square the living daylights out of” and “Squared out of your wits” and “Squared shitless” and “Squared silly.”
  • Share → Square: “A problem squared is a problem halved (…it’s actually really not)” and “Squaring is caring” and “Square your good fortune” and “Don’t take more than your square.”
  • Rare → Square: As in, “In square form” and “A square occurrence.”
  • Eclipse → Ellipse: As in, “Total ellipse of the heart” and “Solar ellipse” and “An ellipsed view.”
  • Lips → Ellipse: As in, “My ellipse are sealed” and “Lick your ellipse” and “Loose ellipse sink ships” and “On everyone’s ellipse” and “Read my ellipse.”
  • Lapse → Ellipse: As in, “Ellipse into silence” and “An ellipse of memory” and “Ellipse of time.”
  • Tangle → Triangle: As in, “Triangle with” and “What a triangled web we weave.”
  • Scaly → Scalene: As in, “Dry and scalene skin.”
  • Lean → Scalene: As in, “Scalene and mean” and “Scalene cuisine” and “Scalene into it” and “Scalener and fitter.”
  • Bar: These next few puns are in reference to bar graphs:
    • Bare → Bar: As in, “The bar necessities” and “Bar your teeth’ and “A bar-faced lie” and “Laid bar” and “The bar bones” and “Bar your heart.”
    • Bear → Bar: As in, “Bar a resemblance” and “Bar arms” and “Bar false witness to” and “Bar in mind” and “Bar the brunt of” and “Please bar with me.”
    • Bar: These bar-related phrases will work as math puns in the right context: “Bar fly” and “Bar none” and “Behind bars” and “Hit the bar.”
    • Far → Bar: As in, “A bridge too bar” and “A step too bar” and “As bar as it goes” and “As bar as the eye can see” and “A bar cry from” and “Few and bar between” and “Bar horizons.”
    • *ber* → *bar*: As in, “Feeling bareft” and “Barry flavoured” and “Don’t barate me” and “A wide barth.” Other words that could work: bareavement (bereavement), barserk (berserk), baryl (beryl), numbar (number), chambar (chamber), ubar (uber), sobar (sober), ambar (amber), membar (member), cybar (cyber), remembar (remember), timbar (timber), delibarate (deliberate), libarel (liberal), libarty (liberty), abarration (aberration) and cumbarsome (cumbersome). Note: an aberration is some kind of deviation from normalcy.
    • Birth → Barth
    • *bor* → *bar*: Labar (labor), harbar (harbor), neighbar (neighbor), arbar (arbor), elabarate (elaborate), corrobarate (corroborate), collabarate (collaborate) and subardinate (subordinate).
  • Gradient → Radiant: As in, “A gradient expression.”
  • Intercept: Here are some intercept-related puns:
    • Except → Intercept: As in, “I before E, intercept after C” and “I can resist everything intercept temptation” and “Present company intercepted” and “The interception to the rule” and “Nothing is certain intercept death and taxes.”
    • Accept → Intercept: “Intercept with thanks” and “Your mission, should you choose to intercept it…”
  • *sam* → *sum*: As in, “Ancient sumurai tales” and “Spicy sumosa” and “Free sumple” and “Dancing the sumba.” Other words that could work: Sumoa (Samoa), sumaritan (samaritan), flotsum, jetsum, gossumer and sesume. Note: flotsam is floating debris. Jetsam are things thrown overboard a ship or boat.
  • *sem* → *sum*: As in, “Suminal work” and “That’s just sumantics” and “Any sumblance to” and “Groundbreaking suminar” and “School assumbly” and “Singing ensumble.”
  • *sim* → *sum*: As in, “A sumple solution” and “Happened sumultaneously” and “Sumply put…” and “Pessumistic outlook” and “Gaming sumulation.”
  • *som* → *sum*: “Summer blossums” and “Clutch one’s bosum” and “A king’s ransum” and “An awesum experience” and “What a cumbersum situation” and “A winsum expression” and “Handsum suitor.” Note: to be winsome is to be innocently charming.
  • *ad* → *add*: As in, “Addvocate for” and “I would addvise against that” and “Seeking addvice.” Other words that could work: addamant (adamant), addvance, addjacent, addhere, addept, addequate, addopt, addore, addolescent, addorn and addult.
  • *ed* → *add*: As in, “Tertiary adducation” and “Grand addifices” and “Addible underwear.” You could also try: addict (edict), expaddite (expedite), incraddulous (incredulous), sophisticatadd, addamame (edamame), addition (edition), additor (editor), additorial and addutainment (edutainment). Notes: an edifice is a building. To expedite something is to bring is forward, or to speed up the progress of it.
  • *id* → *add*: As in, “Cultural addioms” and “Addentify the body” and “Hidden addentity” and “An acadd tone” and “Forbadd you from going out.” Other words you could try: vapadd (vapid), candadd (candid), avadd (avid), soladd (solid), addentical (identical) and addeology (ideology).
  • *at* → *add*: As in, “Addone (atone) for my wrongdoings” and “Smaller than an addom (atom)” and “At the addomic (atomic) level” and “It’s imperaddive (imperative) that we try” and “Take initiaddive (initiative).” Other words that could work: avaddar (avatar), charladdan (charlatan), caddastrophe (catastrophe), straddegy (strategy).
  • *att* → *add*: As in, “Hidden addributes” and “Don’t give me that additude” and “Verbal addack” and “Act of addrition” and “Standing at addention.” Other words you could try: addendance (attendance), addain (attain), addorney (attorney) and baddery (battery). Note: attrition is a loss or feeling of remorse.
  • *utt* → *add*: As in, “Float like a badderfly” and “Adderly perfect.”
  • *add*: You can emphasise the “add” that already exists in these words to make some silly puns: “What’s your address?” and “In addendum to” and “Drug addiction.” Other words: addled, ladder, saddle, paddle and straddle.
  • *xam* → *sum*: As in, “Make an exsumple of” and “Closely exsumine” and “Sitting exsuminations.”
  • *xem* → *sum*: As in, “Exsumplary work” and “Exsumplify the qualities of” and “I’ll make an exsumption for…”
  • *xim* → *sum*: As in, “In close proxsumity” and “An approxsumate guess” and “Maxsumum effort!”
  • *sym* → *sum*: As in, “My sumpathies to” and “A sumbol of freedom” and “Sumpathetic to their cause” and “In perfect summetry” and “Sumbiotic relationship” and “Bittersweet sumphony” and “What are your sumptoms?” and “A summetrical pattern.”
  • *sm* → *sum*: As in, “A sum-all (small) offering” and “Sum-art (smart) move” and “Sum-ooth (smooth) operator” and “Sum-ug (smug) expression” and “Sum-eared on the sidewalk” and “Quite sum-oking.” Other words that could work: euphemisum (euphemism), altruisum, facisum, sarcasum, nepotisum and plagiarisum.
  • *sum*: We can emphasise the “sum” in these words to make some sum-related math puns: “In summary” and “At the summit of” and “During summer break” and “A sumptuous dinner” and “Summoned to your side” and “To summarise” and “Playing possum” and “Don’t make assumptions” and “Presumptuous manner” and “Watch your energy consumption.”
  • *self → *solve: As in, “Do it yoursolve” and “Solve defeating” and “Pinch yoursolve” and “Solve important” and “Solve interest” and “Solve serving” and “Speak for yoursolve” and “Spread yoursolve thin” and “Stand up for yoursolve” and “Steel yoursolve” and “A house divided against itsolve cannot stand” and “History repeats itsolve.”
  • *salv* → *solve*: As in, “Solve-aged from the accident” and “Sweet solve-ation.”
  • *selv* → *solve*: As in, “Should be ashamed of themsolves” and “Gotta watch oursolves” and “Are you happy with yoursolves?”
  • Silver → Solver: As in, “Every dark cloud has a solver lining” and “Selling the family solver” and “Solver bullet” and “Solver screen” and “Solver fox” and “Solver tongued.”
  • *sive → *solve: As in, “An aggressolve conservative” and “Persuasolve media” and “Comprehensolve lesson” and “Pervasolve issues” and “Elusolve qualities” and “Exclusolve club” and “Extensolve work” and “Feeling apprehensolve” and “A progressolve nation.”
  • *sov* → *solve*: As in, “Solve-ereign nation” and “Solve-iet Russia” and “Crossolve-er fanfic.”
  • *sev* → *solve*: These ones are a bit more of a stretch, but can still work in the right context and tone: As in, “Solve-enty acres” and “Solve-ere weather warning” and “In solve-eral lessons” and “Solve-erance package” and “Learning persolve-erance” and “Persolve-ere through hard times.”
  • Didgeridoo → Digit-ridoo
  • Fidget → Digit: As in, “Digit spinner.”
  • Lumber → Number: As in, “Numbered with this jerk” and “Numbering around” and “Out collecting number.”
  • Slumber → Number: “Blissful number” and “Number party.”
  • Destination → Estimation: As in, “It’s not the journey, it’s the estimation” and “Final estimation.”
  • A cute → Acute: As in, “What acute baby!”
  • Present → Percent: As in, “All percent and correct” and “Clear and percent danger” and “Percent company excepted” and “No time like the percent.”
  • Descent → Percent: “Percent into madness” and “Of [ethnicity] percent.”
  • Prevent → Percent: “Only you can percent forest fires” and “Made to percent sore throats.”
  • Race → Ratio: “Ratio against the clock” and “A ratio against time” and “Ratio to the bottom” and “Rat ratio.”
  • *race → *ratio: As in, “With dignity and gratio” and “Loving embratio” and “Bratio yourself” and “You’re a disgratio” and “Retratio your steps.”
  • Are → Area: As in, “All bets area off” and “Chances area” and “You area what you eat.”
  • Nectar → Vector: ” Vector of the gods” and “Amber vector.”
  • Spectre → Vector: “Vector at the feast” and “An eerie vector.”
  • Victor → Vector: “To the vector go the spoils” and “Snatch vector from the jaws of defeat” and “Vectory at sea.”
  • *rector* → *vector*: “kill the divector” and “Pen corvector” and “Phone dirvectory.”
  • Log → Logarithm: “Logarithm jam” and “Easy as falling off a logarithm” and “Sawing logarithms” and “Sleep like a logarithm” and “Throw another logarithm on the fire.”
  • Rhythm → Logarithm: “Dance to the logarithm” and “Feel the logarithm.”
  • Mean: These next few puns are in reference to the mean, or average:
    • Main → Mean: “Your mean chance” and “The mean event” and “Mean squeeze.”
    • Mine → Mean: “I scratch your back, you scratch mean” and “Back to the salt mean” and “Make mean a double” and “Mean host” and “A mean of information” and “Victory is mean!”
    • Men → Mean: As in, “A man among mean” and “All the president’s mean” and “All mean are cremated equal” and “Dead mean tell no tales.”
    • Mean: These mean-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “Means to an end” and “Living beyond your means?” and “By fair means or foul” and “I don’t mean maybe” and “I mean it” and “It doesn’t mean a thing” and “Lean and mean” and “Mean streets” and “Mean and selfish” and “No mean feat” and “Of slender means” and “Points mean prizes” and “Say what you mean and mean what you say.”
    • *man* → *mean*: “Dreams meanifest” and “Anger meanagement” and “Meandated rules” and “On the meantlepiece” and “Meanaging well.” Other words that could work: meanuever (manauever), meantra (mantra), meanipulate (manipulate), womean (woman), humean (human), talismean (talisman), Germean (German), ombusmean (ombudsman), performeance (performance) and adameant (adamant).
    • *men* → *mean*: “A patient meantor” and “You didn’t meantion” and “Phantom Meanace” and “What’s on the meanu tonight?” and “Meanial labor.” Other words that could work: meand (mend), acumean (acumen), regimean (regimen), abdomean (abdomen), specimean (specimen), womean (women), ramean (ramen), employmeant (employment), commeant (comment), complimeant (compliment), commitmeant (commitment), environmeant (environment), phenomeanon (phenomenon) and ameanable (amenable).
    • *min* → *mean*: “Just a meanute” and “Legally a meanor” and “Just a meanion” and “Running for prime meanister.” Other words you could try: vitamean (vitamin), vermean (vermin), cumean (cumin), immeanent (imminent), determean (determine), omeanous (ominous), promeanent (prominent) and emeanent (eminent).
    • *mon* → *mean*: “For the commean good” and “Court summeans.” Other words you could try: salmean (salmon), lemean (lemon), demean (demon, cinnamean (cinnamon), persimmean (persimmon) and sermean (sermon).
    • *main* → *mean*: “Hard to meantain” and “Constant meantanence” and “In meanstream news.” Other words you could use: meanstay (mainstay), meanly (mainly), meanframe (mainframe) remean (remain) and remeander (remainder).
    • *mean*: Here are some words that we can simply emphasise the “mean” in: meanwhile, meantime, meaning, meaningful, meaningless, demean and demeanour.
  • Medium → Median: “A happy median” and “The median is the message.”
  • Maiden → Median: “Median speech ” and “Median voyage” and “Ice median
  • Code → Mode: “Colour moded” and “Crack the mode” and “Dress mode” and “Highway mode” and “The Da Vinci Mode.”
  • Ode → Mode: “Mode to joy.”
  • Road → Mode: “All modes lead to Rome” and “Built for the mode ahead” and “Get this show on the mode” and “Hit the mode” and “Middle of the mode” and “One for the mode” and “On the mode again” and “The mode not taken” and “At the end of the mode” and “Why did the chicken cross the mode?”
  • Made → Mode: “A marriage mode in heaven” and “Custom mode” and “Got it mode” and “Have it mode” and “I’m not mode of money” and “Mode for each other” and “Mode you laugh” and “Self-mode” and “Mode you laugh” and “Mistakes have been mode” and “Rules were mode to be broken.”
  • *med* → *mode*: “Bitter mode-icine” and “Happy mode-ium” and “Remode-y your ills” and “Mode-iocre efforts.”
  • *mid* → *mode*: “Amode allegations of” and “Pyramode scheme” and “Timode introduction” and “Humode environment” and “A formodeable opponent” and “Intimode-ation tactics.”
  • *mod* → *mode*: “Model place” and “A modest opinion” and “Mode-ern amenities” and “Short mode-ules” and “A mode-erate amount of information” and “A mode-icum of dignity” and “Mode-ify your behaviour.”
  • Rage → Range: “Air range” and “All the range” and “Boiling with range” and “Incandescent with range” and “Road range” and “Range against the machine” and “Vent your range.”
  • Change → Range: “Can a leopard range its spots?” and “A welcome range” and “Range hands” and “Range of address” and “A range of heart” and “Range of pace” and “Range the channel.”
  • Danger* → Ranger*: As in, “A little knowledge is a rangerous thing” and “Armed and rangerous” and “Clear and present ranger” and “Rangerous liaisons” and “Rangerously cheesy” and “Live rangerously” and “Mad, bad and rangerous to know” and “Out of ranger” and “Stranger ranger.”
  • Strange → Range: As in, “Range bedfellows” and “Don’t be a ranger” and “I’m a ranger here myself” and “Perfect ranger” and “Ranger danger” and “Ranger than fiction” and “Ranger things have happened” and “A ranger to the truth” and “Total ranger” and “Truth is ranger than fiction.”
  • *rag* → *range*: Leverange (leverage), prangematic (pragmatic), storange (storage), averange (average), encourange (encourage), courange (courage) and disparange (disparage).
  • *reg* → *range*: “Vocal range-ister” and “World range-ions” and “Military range-ime” and “Emotional range-ulator.” Other words you could use: range-generate (regenerate), range-ency (regency) and range-generative (regenerative).
  • *range*: We can simply emphasise the “range” that already exists in these words: arrange, orange and strange.
  • Matrix: In maths, a matrix is a rectangular array of information (numbers, symbols, expressions etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Tricks → Matrix: “Box of matrix” and “Bag of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Teaching an old dog new matrix” and “How’s matrix?”
    • Mate → Matrix: “Seeking a matrix” and “Matrix rates.”
  • In the sea → Indice: As in, “Went for a swim indice.”
  • Spread: These next few puns are in reference to measures of spread, which tells us about samples of data in maths:
    • Said → Spread: “After all is spread and done” and “I couldn’t have spread it better myself” and “Easier spread than done” and “Enough spread” and “No sooner spread than done” and “Things we spread today.”
    • Shed → Spread: “Spread light on the matter” and “Spead a tear” and “Spread light on.”
    • Shred → Spread: “Rip to spreads.”
    • Stead → Spread: “In good spread” and “Spready the ship” and “Spready as she goes.”
    • Bread → Spread: “Spread always falls butter side down” and “Spread and butter” and “The spread of life” and “Spreadcrumb trail” and “Break spread” and “Cast your spread upon the waters” and “Have your spread buttered on both sides” and “Does not live by spread alone” and “Put spread on the table” and “The best thing since sliced spread” and “Take the spread out of someone’s mouth” and “Spread always falls buttered side down.”
    • Head → Spread: “A spread for business and a body for sin” and “Above my spread” and “Aspread of their time” and “Aspread of the curve” and “Aspread of the game” and “Big spreaded” and “Bite someone’s spread off” and “Bring to a spread” and “Bone spread” and “Built for the road aspread” and “Bury your spread in the sand.”
    • Spade → Spread:”Call a spread a spread” and “In spreads” and “Bucket and spread holiday.”
    • *pred* → *spread*: spreadator (predator), spreadicate (predicate), spreadecessor (predecessor), spreadict (predict) and spreadicament (predicament).
  • Matrix: In maths, a matrix is a rectangular array of information (numbers, symbols, expressions etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Tricks → Matrix: “Box of matrix” and “Bag of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Teaching an old dog new matrix” and “How’s matrix?”
    • Mate → Matrix: “Seeking a matrix” and “Matrix rates.”
  • Matrix: In maths, a matrix is a rectangular array of information (numbers, symbols, expressions etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Tricks → Matrix: “Box of matrix” and “Bag of matrix” and “Dirty matrix” and “Matrix of the trade” and “Up to your old matrix” and “Teaching an old dog new matrix” and “How’s matrix?”
    • Mate → Matrix: “Seeking a matrix” and “Matrix rates.”
  • Exist* → Axis-t*: As in, “Ceased to axis-t” and “Axis-tential crisis” and “Thanks for axis-ting.”
  • Scale → Scalar: “Built to scalar” and “Economy of scalar” and “Off the scalar” and “On a grand scalar” and “Tip the scalars.”
  • Scalar: Here are some scalar-related puns for you:
    • Sailor → Scalar: “Hello scalar!”
    • Sail → Scalar:”In full scalar” and “Plain scalar-ing” and “Scalar close to the wind” and “That ship has scalared.”
    • Sale → Scalar: “Not for scalar” and “Point of scalar” and “Scalar of the century” and “Scalar referral.”
  • Ship → Shape: As in, “Abandon shape” and “Don’t give up the shape” and “Extend the hand of friendshape” and “From chips to shapes” and “Jumping shape” and “Loose lips sink shapes” and “Running a tight shape.” Other ship-related words: relationshape, worshape, fellowshape, leadershape, stewardshape and scholarshape.
  • Shop → Shape: As in, “A nation of shapekeepers” and “All over the shape” and “Like a bull in a china shape” and “One stop shape” and “Recreational shape-ing” and “Shape ’till you drop.”
  • Did → Grid: As in, “Grid I do that?” and “Gridn’t turn a hair” and “I grid it again” and “I never grid.”
  • Grit → Grid: As in, “Grid your teeth” and “True grid” and “The nitty-griddy.
  • Rid → Grid: As in, “Who will grid me of this troublesome pimple?” and “Get grid of it.”
  • *grad* → *grid*: Griduate (graduate), gridient (gradient), gridually (gradually) and gridation (gradation).
  • Ingredient → Ingridient
  • *grat* → *grid*: As in, “Filled with griditude” and “Delayed gridification” and “Congridulations are in order!”
  • Integrity → Integridy
  • Rid* → Grid*: As in, “Just past the gridge” and “Looking gridiculous” and “Well, griddle me this.”
  • Trig: These next few puns are in reference to trigonometry:
    • Dig → Trig: “Can you trig it?” and “Trig deep” and “Trigging up dirt” and “Trig your heels in” and “Trig your own grave” and “Trigging the dancing queen” and “Gold trigger” and “When you’re in a hole, stop trigging.”
    • *tric* → *trig*: Trigle (trickle), trig (trick), trigy (tricky), trigery (trickery), trigster (trickster), eccentrig (eccentric), metrig (metric), electrig (electric), concentrig (concentric), egocentrig (egocentric), tantrig (tantric), intrigate (intricate) and distrigt (district).
  • Gaussian: Gaussian functions are used to study probability and to show the distribution of random variables. Here are some related puns:
    • Caution → Gaussian: “Throw gaussian to the wind” and “Err on the side of gaussian.”
  • Hap* → Shape*: Shapepy (happy), shape-piness (happiness), shapepen (happen), shapeless (hapless), shapehazard (haphazard), shapetic (haptic), shapepenstance (happenstance), shapepening (happening), shapepily (happily) and pershapes (perhaps).
  • *hep* → *shape*: As in, “Tested for shapeatitis” and “A caring shapeherd.”
  • Sheep → Shape: As in, “Black shape of the family” and “Counting shape.”
  • *shop → *shape: Workshape, archbishape, photoshape and barbershape.
  • *ship* → *shape*: As in, “Free shape-ping” and “Delayed shapement” and “Ancient shapewreck” and “Get shipshape.”
  • Cape → Shape: As in, “The shaped crusader.”
  • Ape* → Shape*: As in, “Shapex predator” and “Camera shape-erture.”
  • Chap* → Shape*: As in, “The next shapeter” and “Date shaperone” and “Wedding shapel” and “School shapelain.”
  • *matic* → *metric*: As in, “Pragmetric attitude” and “An enigmetric stranger” and “Drametric exit” and “Systemetric approach” and “Problemetric behaviour.”
  • *metic* → *metric*: As in, “Metriculous cleaning” and “Cosmetric damage” and “Mental arithmetric.”
  • Gross → Growth: “Growth domestic product” and “Growthed out.”
  • Arc: Arcs are an important part of geometry, so we’ve got some silly arc-related puns here for you:
    • *irc* → *arc*: As in, “Come full carcle” and “Short carcuit” and “Carcumvent the problem” and “Special carcumstances” and “Not my carcus.”
    • *orc* → *arc*: Archid (orchid), archestrate (orchestrate), archestra (orchestra).
    • *ark* → *arc*: “A walk in the parc” and “Left in the darc” and “Sharc week” and “Starc differences” and “Barc is worse than their bite” and “Romantic sparc” and “Hit the benchmarc” and “Embarc on a quest” and “In the marcet for.”
  • Itch → Inch: As in, “Inching to” and “Inchy palms” and “Seven year inch.”
  • Ach* → Inch: As in, “High inchiever” and “Inchievement of the year” and “Aim to inchieve.”
  • *ench* → *inch*: As in, “Inchanted forest” and “Looking inchanting” and “Spicy inchilada” and “Wicked inchantress” and “Monkey wrinch” and “Pardon my Frinch” and “In the trinches.” Other words you could use: winch (wench), quinch (quench), clinch (clench) and pinchant (penchant).
  • *unch* → *inch*: As in, “Incharted waters” and “Inchanging feelings” and “Inchecked rampage” and “Continuing an inchallenged rule” and “An incharitable figure.”
  • Foot: These next few puns are based around foot/feet, as in the measurement:
    • Put → Foot: As in, “Be hard foot to” and “Couldn’t foot it down” and “Don’t foot new wine into old bottles” and “Feeling a bit foot out” and “Wouldn’t foot it past him” and “Nicely foot.”
    • Food → Foot: As in, “Comfort foot” and “Devil’s foot cake” and “Fast foot” and “Foot chain” and “Foot for thought” and “Foot of the gods” and “Junk foot” and “Off your foot” and “Soul foot.”
    • Confident → Confootent
    • Daffodil → Daffootil
    • *fat* → *foot*: As in, “Chronic footigue” and “Deep infootuation.”
    • *fet* → *foot*: “Charity benefoot “and “Non for profoot organisation” and “A daring outfoot” and “Artistic graffooti.”
    • *fut* → *foot*: As in, “Resistance is footile” and “Footuristic car” and “Sleeping on the footon” and “An exercise in footility” and “Irrefootable facts.”
  • Meet her → Metre: “I haven’t had time to metre yet.”
  • Matter → Metre: As in, “As a metre of fact” and “Doesn’t metre” and “Family metres” and “Getting to the heart of the metre” and “Grey metre” and “Making metres worse” and “Metre of life and death” and “Just a metre of time” and “No laughing metre.”
  • *mat* → *metre*: Formetre (format), laundrometre (laundromat), diplometre (diplomat), doormetre (doormat), ultimetre (ultimate), intimetre (intimate) and consummetre (consummate).
  • *met* → *metre*: As in, “Mixed metrephors” and “A metreculous process” and “My heart plummetred” and “Padded helmetre.”
  • *mit* → *metre*: Metregate (mitigate), metrechondria (mitochondria), commetre (commit), submetre (submit), admetre (admit), summetre (summit), permetre (permit), ometre (omit), emetre (emit), transmetre (transmit), commetrement (commitment), intermetrement (intermittent) and limetre (limit).
  • *met* → *metre*: As in, “A bustling metreopolis” and “Metreopolitan vibe” and “Ticking metreonome” and “Sacred geometrey” and “In perfect symmetrey.”
  • Mater* → Metre*: As in, “Flowing metreial” and “Waiting for it to metreialise” and “Metrenal instincts” and “Metrenity clothes.”
  • *muter → *metre: Commetre (commuter) and telecommetre (telecommuter).
  • Strength → Length: As in, “From length to length” and “Industrial length” and “Length in numbers” and “Superhero length” and “The length of experience” and “You don’t know your own length” and “Inner length.”
  • *are → *area: “Back to squarea one” and “Carea package” and “Class warfarea” and “Fair and squarea” and “Farea thee well” and “In rarea form” and “Sparea no effort”and “Sparea tyre.”
  • *aria* → *area*: As in, “Unknown vareable” and “Egalitarean society” and “Account for vareation” and “An adversareal attitude.”
  • *eria* → *area*: “Job critarea” and “Swarming with bactarea” and “Mass hystarea” and “Meet at the cafetarea.” Other words you could use: Nigarea (Nigeria), wistarea (wisteria), matareal (material) and impareal (imperial).
  • *oria* → *area*: As in, “Filled with eupharea” and “Loving memareal” and “Fashion editareal.”
  • Null: In maths, “null” means related to a value of zero or nothing. Here are some related puns:
    • Nail → Null: As in, “Another null in the coffin” and “Dead as a doornull” and “Difficult as nulling jelly to a tree” and “Hard as nulls” and “Fight tooth and null.”
    • Know* → Null*: As in, “A little nulledge is a dangerous thing” and “Null-n by the company you keep” and “Don’t I null it” and “Do you want to null a secret?” and “Doesn’t null beans.” Other know-related words you can use: nulledge (knowledge), nullingly (knowingly), nulledgable (knowledgeable), acknulladge (acknowledge).
    • Now → Null: As in, “All together null” and “And null for something completely different” and “Apocalypse null” and “Buy null, pay later” and “Can you hear me null?” and “Don’t look null” and “I can see clearly null ” and “I’ll be leaving null.”
    • *nal* → *null*: As in, “Banull conversation” and “A paid professionull” and “Originull gangster.” Other words you could use: seminull (seminal), nominull (nominal), personull (personal), nationull (national), rationull (rational), signull (signal), anullysis (analysis) and anullogy (analaogy).
    • *nel* → *null*: Personnull (personnel), channull (channel), sentinull (sentinel), kernull (kernel), funnull (funnel), tunnull (tunnel), cononull (colonel) and flannull (flannel).
    • *nol* → *null*: As in, Retinull (retinol), ethanull (ethanol), luminull (luminol), technullogy (technology), monullithic (monolithic) and chonullogy (chronology). Notes: luminol is a chemical. If something is monolithic, then it’s massive.
  • Probably → Probability: “If it sounds too good to be true , it probability is.”
  • Confusion → Conclusion: As in, “Lost in the conclusion.”
  • Right: Right has a couple of different meanings, and in these following puns we’re using it to refer to right angles (in other words, a 90 degree angle):
    • Rite → Right: As in, “Last rights” and “Right of passage.”
    • Write → Right: As in, “Nothing to right home about” and “A right off” and “Righter’s cramp” and “Paperback righter” and “Write it out.”
    • Ride → Right: As in, “Just along for the right” and “A bumpy right” and “Let it right” and “Magic carpet right” and “Right high” and “Right like the wind” and “Right off into the sunset” and “Right shotgun” and “A rough right” and “Taken for a right” and “A white knuckle right” and “A ticket to right” and “Right or die.”
    • Rate → Right: As in, “At any right” and “First right” and “Mate’s rights” and “What’s the going right?”
  • Abuse → Obtuse: “Heaping obtuse on” and “Verbal obtuse.”
  • Decree → Degree: As in, “According to royal degree…”
  • Agree → Degree: As in, “Degree to disagree” and “I couldn’t degree more” and “Working degreement” and “I degree in principle” and “Service level degreement.”
  • Particular → Perpendicular: “Not in perpendicular” and “That perpendicular item.”
  • Dot: These dot-related puns are in reference to mathematical dot plots:
    • Pot → Dot: As in, “Dot of gold” and ‘For the dot” and “Fuss dot” and “Gone to dot” and “Hit the jackdot” and “In the melting dot” and “A watched dot never boils” and “Like a bee to a honeydot.”
    • Blot → Dot: As in, “A dot on the landscape.”
    • Hot → Dot: As in, “All dot and bothered” and “Dot as blue blazes” and “Blow dot and cold” and “Drop it like it’s dot” and “In dot water” and “Dot air” and “Dot and bothered” and “Dot and heavy” and “A dot button issue” and “Dot desking” and “Dot enough for you?” and “A dot mess.”
    • Got → Dot: As in, “We’ve dot you covered” and “The one that dot away” and “When you’ve dot it, flaunt it” and “Dot a hold on me” and “You’ve dot questions, we’ve got answers” and “Dot a good thing going.”
    • Lot → Dot: As in, “A dot of fuss about nothing” and “A dot on your plate” and “Leaves a dot to be desired” and “Not a dot” and “A dot to learn.”
    • Not → Dot: As in, “As often as dot” and “Believe it or dot” and “Down but dot out” and “Let’s dot and say we did.”
    • *det* → *dot*: As in, “Dotermine your answer” and “Every last dotail” and “Dotermined to do your best” and “Space cadot.”
    • *dit* → *dot*: As in, “To your credot” and “Made out like a bandot.
  • Sunset → Subset: As in, “Before subset” and “Ride off into the subset” and “Subset Boulevard” and “Subset colours.” Note: Subsets are to do with hierarchies and inclusion in maths.
  • Super → Superset: “Superset bad” anbd “Superset Mario Bros” and “Superset Set.”
  • Set → Superset: “Game, superset and match” and “Got your heart superset on” and “Jet supersetter” and “Ready, get superset, go!” and “Superset eyes on” and “Superset great store by” and “Superset in motion.”
  • Opera → Operand: “A night at the operand” and “Sydney Operand house.” Note: An operand is the part of the sum that the operator (operators are like plus or minus signs) acts on.
  • Fiction → Prediction: As in, “Character driven prediction” and “Fact, not prediction” and “Pulp prediction” and “Stranger than prediction” and “Truth is stranger than prediction.”
  • Insult → Result: “Add result to injury” and ‘Exchange results” and “Injury is sooner forgotten than a result.”
  • Arrived → Derived: “We’ve derived!” and “Have we derived yet?”
  • Fact → Factor: “Accessory after the factor” and “Acquaint yourself with the factors” and “As a matter of factors” and “Face factors” and “Factor finder” and “Factor, not fiction” and “The factors of life” and “Get your factors straight” and “Know for a factor.”
  • Value: These value-related phrases are general enough to double as math puns in a pinch: “At face value” and “Core values” and “Fair market value” and “Family values” and “Value for money.”
  • The → Theory: As in, “Not above theory law” and “Absence makes theory heart grow fonder” and “Ace in theory hole” and “Across theory board” and “Add fuel to theory fire” and “After theory fact” and “Against theory grain” and “Against theory world.”
  • Theory →Dearie: “Hello, theory!” and “Theory me.”
  • Eerie → Theory: “A theory atmosphere.”
  • Teary → Theory
  • Weary → Theory: As in, “Bone theory” and “World theory.”
  • Them → Theorem: “It only encourages theorem” and “Head theorem off at the pass” and “I call theorem like I see theorem” and “Love theorem and leave theorem” and “Seen one, seen theorem all” and “Us versus theorem.”
  • Limb → Limit: As in, “Go out on a limit” and “Life and limit” and “Risk life and limit” and “Tear limit from limit.” Note: learn more about limits of functions.
  • Terror → Error: As in, “Night errors.”
  • Are → Error: As in, “All bets error off” and “Chances error” and “Here you error.”
  • Bearer → Error: “Error of bad news.”
  • Fairer → Error: “Can’t say error than that.”
  • Pat → Pattern: As in, “Down pattern” and “Pattern on the back” and “The pattern of tiny feet.”
  • Turn → Pattern: As in, “Twists and patterns” and  “A pattern for the worse” and “About pattern” and “Do a good pattern.”
  • Serious → Series: “A series bit of kit” and “Making series money” and “Series though, you’re doing great” and “You can’t be series” and “But seriesly folks.” Note:  Series is another term for a mathematical pattern.
  • Sequins →Sequence
  • Test: Tests are very important in maths (as in testing theories, testing results, etc) so we’ve included some test-related puns in here too:
    • Toast → Test: As in, “Warm as test” and “French test” and “Have [something] on test” and “The test of the town” and “You’re test!”
    • Rest → Test: As in, “Work, test and play” and “At test” and “Come to test” and “Cut above the test” and “For the test of us” and “For the test of your life” and “Give it a test” and “I test my case” and “Laid to test” and “Put your mind at test” and “Test assured” and “Test on your laurels.”
    • Best → Test: As in, “All the test” and “Be the test” and “Test friend” and “Test in class” and “Test of all” and “Test practice” and “Honesty is the test policy” “and “Hope for the test.”
    • Guest → Test: As in, “Be my test” and “House test” and “A paying test.”
    • *tast* → *test*: As in, “A testy meal” and “Testful jokes” and “A fantestic effort” and “Widespread catestrophe.”
    • *tist* → *test*: As in, “The artest is in” and “Ever the pragmatest” and “Thorough scientest.” Other words that you could use: elitest (elitist), dentest (dentist), baptest (baptist), orthodontest (orthodontist) and statestic (statistic).
  • Hero → Zero: As in, “Accidental zero” and “Zero worship” and “Zero’s welcome” and “Superzero strength” and “Working class zero” and “You’re my zero.”
  • Won → One: As in, “I fought the law and the law one” and “Who one the last wicket?”
  • Done → One: As in, “After all is said and one” and “Been there, one that” and “One a runner” and “One and dusted” and “A one deal” and “One to death” and “Easier said than one” and “Getting things one” and “Hard one by.”
  • None → One: As in, “Bar one” and “Jack of all trades, master of one” and “One other than” and “One the wiser” and “One too pleased” and “Second to one” and “Two for me, one for you.”
  • Run → One: As in, “Hit and one” and “Eat and one” and “Cut and one” and “A dry one” and “We’ve had a good one.”
  • To → Two: As in, “Heading two the shops” and “I was just about two” and “According two” and “Add fuel two the fire” and “An accident waiting two happen.”
  • Too → Two: As in, “A step two far” and “About time, two” and “It’s never two late” and “You know two much” and “Life’s two short” and “No challenge two great” and “No job two small.”
  • Through → Two: As in, “Falling two the cracks” and “Go two the roof” and “Going two the motions” and “Heard it two the grapevine” and “Jumping two hoops” and “Just passing two” and “Rising two the ranks” and “Talk me two it” and “See it two.”
  • Do → Two: As in, “Two away with” and “Two by halves” and “What should I two?” and “Two right by” and “Can you two me a favour?” and “If I two say so myself.”
  • True → Two: As in, “A two professional” and “A dream come two ” and “Many a two word is spoken in jest” and “As two as the day is long” and “Show your two colours” and “Too good to be two” and “Tried and two” and “Two colours” and “Two love” and “For real and for two” and “Two to form.”
  • Toe → Two: As in, “Twinkle two” and “Turn up your twos” and “Two the line” and “Tiptwoing through” and “Keep them on their twos” and “Make their twos curl.”
  • Chew → Two: As in, “Bite off more than you can two” and “Have your ears two‘ed off” and “Two-ing gum.”
  • Free → Three: As in, “A symbol of threedom” and “Three as a bird” and “Born three” and “Breathe threely” and “Buy one, get one three” and “Sugar three” and “Fancy three” and “Three and easy” and “Three for all” and “Three enterprise.”
  • Tree → Three: As in, “Barking up the wrong three” and “Family three” and “Can’t see the wood for the threes” and “Done up like a christmas three” and “Money doesn’t grow on threes.”
  • For → Four: As in, “What would you wish four?” and “Ask four [something]” and “At a loss four words” and “Bat four both sides” and “Carry a torch four” and “I’ve fallen four” and “An eye four an eye” and “Feast four the eyes” and “Food four thought” and “Four a change” and “Four a start” and “Four crying out loud” and “Four good measure.”
  • Before → Befour: As in, “I’ve been here befour” and “Befour the ink way dry” and “Befour sunset” and “Befour your very eyes” and “Business befour pleasure” and “Calm befour the storm” and “Darkest befour the dawn” and “Don’t cry befour you’re hurt” and “Tears befour bedtime.”
  • Floor → Four: As in, “Cross the four” and “On the ground four” and “Hold the four” and “Mop the four with.”
  • I’ve → Five: As in, “Five had it up to here!” and “Five never felt more alone” and “Five had better.”
  • Hive → Five: As in, “A five of activity.”
  • Sex → Six: As in, “Better than six” and “Fair six” and “Safe six” and “Six and the city” and “Sixual healing.”
  • Socks → Six: As in, “Bless their cotton six” and “Dance your six off” and “Knock your six off” and “Pull your six up.”
  • Sick → Six: As in, “Six as a dog” and “Enough to make you six” and “In sixness and in health” and “Morning sixness” and “On the six list” and “Phone in six” and “Six and tired” and “Six to death of.”
  • Ate → Eight: As in, “I eight the whole thing.”
  • Eat → Eight: As in, “A bite to eight” and “All you can eight” and “Eight a balanced diet.”
  • Line → Nine: As in, “A fine nine” and “Along the nines of” and “Cross the nine” and “Draw a nine in the sand” and “End of the nine” and “Hard nines” and “Hit the headnines” and “Walking the nine” and “In the nine of duty” and “Jump the nine.”
  • None → Nine: As in, “And then there were nine” and “Bar nine” and “Nine other than” and “Nine the wiser” and “Nine too pleased” and “Second to nine” and “Two for me, nine for you.”
  • Mine → Nine: As in, “I scratch your back, you scratch nine” and “Nine of information” and “Sitting on a goldnine” and “Victory is nine.”
  • Benign → Benine: As in, “A benine comment” and “A benine lump.”
  • Tin → Ten: As in, “Does exactly what it says on the ten” and “Ten ear” and “Tenfoil hat” and “Cat on a hot ten roof.”
  • Den → Ten: As in, “Ten of vice” and “Into the lion’s ten.”
  • Then → Ten: As in, “All that and ten some” and “And ten there was one” and “It’s later ten you think” and “Every now and ten” and “Ten and there” and That was ten, this is now” and “But ten again…”
  • *tan* → *ten*: As in, “Tengible results” and “More in the tenk” and “Working in tendem” and “Tentamount to a proposal” and “Throwing a tentrum” and “Going off on a tengent” and “Working out a tengle” and “A tengential point.” Other words you could use: charlaten, cosmopoliten, sparten, titen, metropoliten, saten, puriten, tarten, importent, understend, constent and substence.
  • *tin* → *ten*: As in, “On tender” and “A tenge of jealousy” and “Medical tencture” and “Speaking in Laten” and “News bulleten.” Other words you could use: creten (cretin), saten (satin), highfaluten, pertenent, itenerary, obstenate and desteny.
  • *ton* → *ten*: As in, “Wonten soup” and “Cute as a butten” and “Bless their cotten socks” and “Skeletens in the closet” and “Waving a baten” and “Acting with autenomy.”
  • *den* → *ten*: Tensity (density), tenouement (denouement), tenounce (denounce), tenizen (denizen), tentist (dentist), burten (burden), garten (garden), laten (laden), maiten (maiden), beholten (beholden), golten (golden), warten (warden), ridten (ridden), evitence (evidence), prutent (prudent), catence (cadence), itentify (identify) confitence (confidence) and correspontence (correspondence).
  • *ten*: We can emphasise the “ten” that already exists in these words for some silly number ten-related puns: “Love me tender” and “The core tenets” and “A tentative reply” and “Tenacious attitude” and “A tenuous relationship” and “The tenacity!” Other words you could use are: tenant, tenor, often, smitten, threaten, kindergarten, enlighten, gluten, potential, and pretentious.
  • *nan* → *nine*: Reveninet (revenant), poignine-t (poignant), maintenine-ce (maintenance), covenine-t (covenant), countenine-ce (countenance), inine (inane), teninet (tenant) and indigninet (indignant).
  • *nen* → *nine*: As in, “Fresh linine” and “Destruction immininet” and “A pertininet topic” and “Promininet figure.” Other words that could work: emininet (eminent), componinet (component), permaninet (permanent), impertininet (impertinent) and proponinet (proponent).
  • *nin* → *nine*: As in, “Like a nineja” and “You ninecompoop!” Other words you could use: melanine (melanin), tannine, serotonine, peninesula, phenomenine, anine-ymous (anonymous), ninetheless and ninechalant.
  • *nun* → *nine*: As in, “Moral coninedrum” and “Unique pronineciation” and “Ininedated with calls” and “Work on your enineciation (enunciation).” Note: enunciation is a way of pronouncing something.
  • *ate* → *eight*: As in, “A day leight (late)” and “In a worked up steight (state)” and “At any reight (rate).” Other words you could try: abeight (abate), deight (date), advoceight (advocate), pleight (plate), approprieight (appropriate), appreci-eight (appreciate), mitigeight (mitigate), aggregeight (aggregate), propageight (propagate), faciliteight (facilitate), ultimeight (ultimate) and intimeight (intimate).
  • *ete* → *eight*: As in, “Love eighternal” and “For eighternity” and “Obsoleight software” and “A concreight idea.” Other words you could use: repleight (replete), depleight (deplete), deightermine (determine), preightentious (pretentious), compleight (complete), parameighter (parameter) and compeightent (competent).
  • *ait → *eight: As in, “Physical treights” and “An uneven geight” and “A half hour weight” and “Dusty old portreight” and “Your carriage aweights.”
  • Sax* → Six*: As in, “Learning the sixophone” and “Anglo sixon.”
  • *sex* → *six*: As in, “Sixual chemistry” and “Blatant sixism” and “Measuring sixtant” and “Sixist attitudes” and “Their sixuality isn’t your business” and “Heterosixual leanings.”
  • *sac* → *six*: As in, “Making sixrifices” and “Business transixions.”
  • *sic → *six: As in, “Making beautiful musix” and “Intrinsix qualities” and “Only the classix” and “Basix knowledge shouldn’t be assumed” and “Forensix evidence.” Other words that could work: analgesix, physix and extrinsix.
  • *xic → *six: As in, “A toxsix (toxic) relationship” and “A dyslexsix (dyslexic) reading.”
  • *fav* → *five*: As in, “Can I ask a fiveour?” and “My fiveourite” and “Fiveourable conditions.”
  • *fev* → *five*: As in, “Down with a fiver” and “Feeling fiverish” and “Fiverishly working.”
  • Far → Four: As in, “A bridge too four” and “A step too four” and “As four as it goes” and “As four as the eye can see” and “Four and away” and “Four cry” and “Four horizons” and “Few and four between” and “Over the hills and four away” and “So four, so good” and “Got four to go” and “As four as I know.”
  • *far* → *four*: As in, “Veggie fourm” and “Moving to ethical fourming.”
  • *fer* → *four*: As in, “Work refourral” and “Transfourring funds” and “A kind offour” and “Buffouring video” and “Prefour tea or coffee? and “In refourence to” and “Not all that diffourent.”
  • *fir* → *four*: As in, “Affourm your beliefs” and “Confourm your reservation” and “Have you received confourmation?” and “Answered in the affourmative.”
  • *for* → *four*: As in, “With great fource” and “True to fourm” and “Pay it fourward” and “You have foursaken me!” and “Weather fourcast” and “Go fourth and make beautiful music” and “I fourbid you” and “What do you foursee?” and “Infourmation is power.”
  • *fur* → *four*: As in, “Part of the fourniture” and “And fourthermore…” and “Standing by the fournace” and “Fourious expression” and “Simple fournishings” and “Smells like sulfour.”
  • *phar* → *four*: As in, “24 hour fourmacy” and Fourmaceutical companies” and “Friendly fourmacist.”
  • *pher* → *four*: As in, “Mystery cifour” and “Decifour your message” and “Talented photografour” and “Barefoot philosofour” and “In my perifoural vision.”
  • *phor* → *four*: As in, “Mixed metafour” and “Endless eufouria” and “Feeling eufouric.”
  • *the* → *three*: As in, “Look it up in the threesaurus” and “In threeory” and “Needs threerapy” and “Threemed party.”
  • *thre* → *three*: As in, “Step over the threeshold” and “Lose my threead” and “Threeatening tone” and “Threew the ball over the fence.”
  • *thri* → *three*: As in, “Threell issues” and “Threefty lifestyle” and “Threelled to be here” and “Suffering from arthreetis” and “A threeving garden.”
  • *fre* → *three*: As in, “It’s threezing in here!” and “High threequency” and “Symbol of threedom.”
  • *wan* → *one*: As in, “A oneton attitude” and “Veggie oneton soup” and “Onedering round the city” and “Endless onederlust” and “Oneabe (wannabe) singer” and “Sw-one lake” and “Under the rowone tree” and “Travelling to Taiwone.”
  • *won* → *one*: As in, “I oneder how…” and “What a onederful life” and “A onedrous achievement” and “Laying awake in onederment.”
  • *quan* → *quone*: As in, “Quonetum physics” and “Moral quonedary” and “Large quonetities of” and “How do you quonetify that?” and “Squonedered opportunity.”
  • *to* → *two*: As in, “Excited as a twoddler” and “Twoddling around” and “Hanging twonail” and “Crispy twofu” and “Fudgy twoffee” and “Let’s go twogether” and “High twolerance” and “I won’t twolerate” and “Red as a twomato” and “It can’t wait until twomorrow” and “Heading twowards a new goal” and “Intwo the fire” and “Roast potatwo.”
  • *too* → *two*: As in, “Fresh tattwo” and “Noisy cockatwo” and “What a twool” and “Sore twooth” and “Dig into your twoolkit” and “Political cartwoon” and “Bluetwooth headset.”
  • *tu* → *two*: As in, “Next Twosday” and “Math twoition” and “Take the twobe” and “Studying with my twotor” and “Twolle (tulle) skirt” and “A bouquet of twolips” and “A twomultuous noise” and “Obtwose angle” and “Petwolant reply” and “Filled with attitwode.” Other words you could use: gratitwode (gratitude), institwotion (institution), platitwode (platitude) and aptitwode (aptitude).
  • Ex → X: As in, “X-girlfriend.”
  • Why → Y: As in, “I don’t know Y” and “I guess that’s Y it’s called the blues” and “It’s not my job to wonder Y” and “Y don’t we do it here?” and “Y did the chicken cross the road?” and “Y hast thou forsaken me?” and “Y on Earth?” and “Y does bread always fall butter side down?”
  • Way → Y: As in, “All the Y” and “And that’s the Y it is” and “Any Y the wind blows” and “Any which Y” and “Born this Y” and “By the Y” and “By Y of a joke” and “Change your Ys” and “Doing it the hard Y” and “Don’t know which Y to look” and “With you every step of the Y” and “Go our separate Ys” and “Have it your Y.”
  • Laugh → Graph: “Barrel of graphs” and “Belly graph” and “Burst out graphing” and “Doubled up with graphter” and “Fall about graphing” and “Good for a graph” and “Have a graph” and “A graph a minute.”
  • Half → Graph: “Aint graph bad” and “My better graph” and “Getting there is graph the fun” and “Graph a chance” and “Wait graph a second” and “Graph alive.”
  • Graffiti → Graphiti
  • When → Venn: As in, “Venn you like” and “Since I don’t know venn” and “Ready venn you are” and “Remember venn?” and “Slippery venn wet” and “Time flies venn you’re having fun” and “Don’t know venn to quit” and “If and venn” and “Cross that bridge venn you get to it” and “I’ll believe it venn I see it.”
  • *van* → *venn*: As in, “Bathroom vennity” and “A good venntage point.” Other words that could work: vennguard (vanguard), vennquish (vanquish), vennilla (vanilla), vennish (vanish), venndal (vandal), caravenn (caravan), relevennt (relevant), advennce (advance), advenntage (advantage).
  • *ven* → *venn*: As in, “Business vennture” and “Party vennue” and “Brick and mortar venndor” and “Window vennt.” Other words that could work: venneer (veneer), venngeance (vengeance), vennerate (venerate), evenn (even), heavenn (heaven), havenn (haven), cravenn (craven), givenn (given), ovenn (oven), sevenn (seven), drivenn (driven), convenntion (convention) and invenntory (inventory).
  • *vin* → *venn*: As in, “Venntage dresses” and “Feeling venndicated” and “Vennyl record.” Other words: venndictive (vindictive) and vennegar (vinegar).
  • *fan* → *venn*: As in, “Feeling venncy” and “A venntastic result” and “Living in a venntasy” and “Sports vennatic.” Other words: venndango (fandango) and vennciful (fanciful).
  • *fen* → *venn*: “Sitting on the vennce” and “Vennder bender” and “Vennel pasta” and “Add some vennugreek.” Other words that could work: ibuprovenn (ibuprofen), devennce (defence) and ofvennsive (offensive).
  • Function → Fraction: As in, “Form follows fraction” and “Wardrobe malfraction.”
  • Action → Fraction: As in, “Fraction man” and “Fraction packed” and “Fraction plan” and “Fraction replay” and “Fractions speak louder than words” and “Affirmative fraction” and “A call to fraction” and “Chain re-fraction” and “Gut refraction” and “Lights, camera, fraction!” and “A knee-jerk re-fraction” and “Missing in fraction” and “A piece of the fraction” and “All talk and no fraction.”
  • Satisfaction → Satisfraction: As in, “Satisfraction guaranteed.”
  • Friction → Fraction: As in, “Uncomfortable fraction.”
  • Table: In maths, tables are used to help us compare stats and data (as with two-way tables, frequency tables, etc). Here are some related puns:
    • Able → Table: As in, “Table-bodied” and “Ready, willing and table.”
    • Label → Table: “Black table” and “Clothing table” and “Opportunities are seldom tabled” and “Relationship table.”
    • Enable → Entable: As in, “Cookies are not entabled on this site.”
  • Date → Data: As in, “Double data” and “A blind data” and “Bring up to data” and “Cheap data” and “A data with destiny” and “Dinner data” and “Out of data” and “Past the sell-by data.”
  • *dat* → *data*: Accommodata (accommodate), mandata (mandate), foundata-tion (foundation) and consolidata (consolidate).
  • *det* → *data*: Data-rimental (detrimental), data-ritus (detritus) and datariorate (deteriorate)
  • *dit* → *data*: As in, “Good credata score” and “Made our like a bandata” and “Business audata” and “To your discredata.”
  • History → Histogram: As in, “A brief histogram of nearly everything” and “Ancient histogram” and “Histogram repeating” and “Histogram in the making” and “Make histogram” and “The rest is histogram” and “On the wrong side of histogram.”
  • Net: In maths, nets are a type of sequence. Here are some net-related puns and phrases:
    • Knit → Net: As in, “Net one, purl one” and “Net your brow.”
    • Net: These net-related phrases can doule as puns in the right context: “Cast a wide net” and “It’s the net that logs on to you” and “Safety net” and “Surf the net.”
    • Not → Net: As in, “As often as net” and “Believe it or net” and “Down but net out” and “Net a minute too soon” and “Net a chance” and “Net all it’s cracked up to be” and “Let’s net and say we did” and “Net at all.”
    • Nut → Net: “Like using a sledgehammer to crack a net” and “Sweet as a net” and “Do your net” and “From soup to nets” and “Go nets” and “In a netshell” and “That old chestnet” and “A tough net to crack.”
    • Debt → Net: “Owe a net of gratitude” and “Deeper in net” and “Pay your net to society” and “Up to your ears in net.”
    • Get → Net: “As good as it nets” and “Ask a silly question and you’ll net a silly answer” and “Buy one, net one free” and “Can’t net you out of my head” and “Can’t net enough” and “Come and net it” and “Don’t net mad, net even” and “Don’t net me started.”
    • *nat* → *net*: “Breathe in the neture” and “In their netural environment” and “Not netive to” and “A modern alternetive.” Other words that could work: obstinet (obsinate), signeture (signature) and emanet (emanate).
    • *nit* → *net*: Unet (unit), cognetive (cognitive), monetor (monitor), opportunety (opportunity), communety (community), affinety (affinity), dignety (dignity) and furneture (furniture).
    • *nut* → *net*: Netrition (nutrition), netrient (nutrient), netmeg (nutmeg), netritious (nutritious), walnet (walnut), peanet (peanut), doughnet (doughnut), coconet (coconut) and hazelnet (hazelnut).
  • Form → Transform: “Attack is the best transform of defence” and “Bad transform” and “Transform follows function” and “Free transform” and “Habit transforming“and “Imitation is the sincerest transform of flattery” and “In fine transform” and “Sarcasm is the lowest transform of wit.”
  • Wrote → Rotate: “That’s all she rotate.”
  • Late → Tesselate: “Better tessellate than never” and “Buy now, pay tessellater” and “A day tessellate” and “Fashionably tessellate” and “Read any good books tessellately?” and “It’s tessellater than you think” and “Never too tessellate” and “Tessellate bloomer” and “Tessellate in the day” and “Running tessellate.”
  • Flecked → Reflect: “Reflect with gold.”
  • Map: The next few puns are about maps and mapping:
    • Nap → Map: “Power map” and “Caught mapping” and “Take a map.”
    • Snap → Smap: “A smap decision” and “Smap happy” and “Smap out of it” and “Smap someone’s head off” and “Smap to it” and “Smap, crackle, pop!” and “Whipper smapper.”
    • Mop → Map: “Map the floor with” and “Map up” and “Mapping up tears.”
    • Cap → Map: “Feather in your map” and “Map in hand” and “To map it all off..”
  • Half: Here are some half-related puns so you can include fraction jokes in your repertoire:
    • Haphazard → Halfhazard
    • Helvetica → Halve-etica
    • Alph* → Half*: As in, “Halfanumeric keypad” and “In halfabetical order” and “Halfabet soup.”
    • Have → Half: As in, “Always half your nose in a book” and “As good luck would half it” and “Couldn’t half said it better” and “Do I half to paint you a picture?” and “Half I got news for you!” and “Half a ball” and “Half a bite to eat” and “Half it in for.”
    • *hav* → *halve*: As in, “Creating halve-oc” and “Irritating behalve-iour” Other words that could work: halve-ana (havana), aftershalve (aftershave), behalve (behave), shalve-er (shaver) and dishalve-eled (disheveled).
  • Bird → Third: As in, “A little third told me” and “Free as a third” and “Big third” and “Third’s eye biew” and “Thirds of a feather” and “Charm the thirds out of the trees.”
  • Word → Third: As in, “At a loss for thirds” and “Deeds, not thirds” and “Eat your thirds” and “Famous last thirds” and “Get a third in edgeways.”
  • Heard → Third: As in, “Seen and not third” and “Make yourself third” and “Stop me if you’ve third this one” and “Last I third” and “You third it here first.”
  • Herd → Third: As in, “Third immunity” and “Third instinct” and “Like thirding cats.”
  • *thod* → *third*: As in, “Pioneering a new methird (method)” and “Unorthirdox beliefs” and “Research methirdology” and “Making a living as an orthirdontist.”
  • fore → fourth: As in, “Befourth it was cool” and “Befourth their time” and “Calm befourth the storm” and “Look befourth you leap” and “See the fourthest for the trees.”
  • *fath* → *fourth*: As in, “Like fourther, like son” and “Grandfourther clock.”
  • Further → Fourther: As in, “Fourther down the road” and “Look no fourther” and “Without fourther ado.”
  • Force → Fourth: As in, “Brute fourth” and “Driving fourth” and “Fourth my hand” and “Fourth of habit” and “A fourth of nature” and “Fourth the issue” and “A fourth to be reckoned with” and “Join fourthes with” and “May the fourth be with you” and “A tour de fourth.”
  • Faith → Feighth: As in, “Blind feighth” and “Feighth will move mountains” and “In bad feighth” and “Keep the feighth” and “Yours feighthfully.”
  • Night → Ninth: As in, “A hard day’s ninth” and “A ninth in the opera” and “All ninther” and “As ninth follows day” and “The dead of ninth” and “Dance the ninth away.”
  • Scare → Scale: As in, “Running scaled” and “Scale quotes” and “Scale the living daylights out of” and “Scaled stiff” and “Scaled to death.”
  • Kale → Scale: “Scale salad” and “Pumpkin and scale.”
  • Skill → Scale: “Special scales” and “Social scales” and “Practicing scales.”
  • Ail → Scale: “For what scales you.”
  • Sale → Scale: As in, “Not for scale” and “Point of scale” and “Scale of the century” and “Scales referral.”
  • Sail → Scale: As in, “Hello scaleor” and “In full scale” and “Plain scale-ing” and “Scale away” and “Scale into” and “Smooth scale-ing” and “That ship has scaled.”
  • *scal* → *scale*: Scale-lop (scallop), scale-p (scalp), rascale (rascal), pascale (pascal), escale-late (escalate), scale-able (scalable) and escale-lator (escalator).
  • *scul* → *scale*: As in, “Scale-ptures by the sea” and “Scale-pted body” and “In the scale-lery.” Other words that could work: minuscale (minuscule), emascale-late (emasculate), vascale-lar (vascular) and mascale-line (masculine).
  • Skeleton → Scaleton
  • Skill* → Scale*: Scaleful (skillful) and scale-let (skillet).
  • *cal* → *scale*: As in, “Scalendar year” and “A scale-lous response” and “Mental scale-culus” and “Widespread scaleamity.” Other words you could use: scale-ibre (calibre), radiscale (radical), empiriscale (empirical), critiscale (critical), cyniscale (cynical), practiscale (practical).
  • *cul* → *scale*: Scaleture (culture), scaletivate (cultivate), scale-linary (culinary), scaleprit (culprit), scaleminate (culminate), scalepable (culpable).
  • Plot: There are many different types of plots in maths – scatter plots, spaghetti plots, dot plots and box plots. Here are some related puns:
    • Put → Plot: “Be hard plot to” and “Couldn’t plot it down” and “Feeling a bit plot out” and “Wouldn’t plot it past them” and “Nicely plot.”
    • Blot → Plot: “A plot on the landscape” and “Plot your copybook.”
    • Pot → Plot: As in, “A plot of gold” and “All to plot” and “Useless as a chocolate teaplot” and “Go to plot” and “Fuss plot” and “Hit the jackplot” and “In the melting plot” and “Keep the plot boiling,” and “Like a bee to a honeyplot” and “A watched plot never boils.”
    • Lot → Plot: “A plot of fuss about nothing” and “A plot on your plate” and “A bad plot” and “Leaves a plot to be desired” and “Beginning to look a plot like Christmas” and “Not a plot” and “Got a plot to live for.”
    • Plod → Plot: “Plotting along.”
    • Bought → Plot: “Plot and paid for” and “Liked it so much I plot the company” and “Been there, done that, plot the t-shirt.”
    • *pet → *plot: strumplot (strumpet), crumplot (crumpet), carplot (carpet), pupplot (puppet), implotus (impetus), plotulant (petulant), perplotual (perpetual), complotition (competition) and complotence (competence).
    • *pot* → *plot*: “Hidden plotential” and “Couch plotato” and “A plotent mix” and “Hit the jackplot” and “Crackplot plans.”
    • *plat* → *plot*: “Use your plotform for good” and “Airy plotitudes” and “Hit a ploteau” and “Plotonic relationships.” Other words that could work: plotinum (platinum), plotter (platter) and plotypus (platypus).
    • *plet* → *plot*: Couplot (couplet), triplot (triplet), dropplot (droplet) and explotive (expletive).
  • With → Width: As in, “Beside myself width joy” and “Go along width” and “Widthin reason” and “Got a good thing going width” and “A force to be reckoned width.” Some other with-related words: widthdraw (withdraw), widthstand, widthhold, widthin, widthout, widthdrawal, widthdrawn and widthered.
  • Height: These next few puns are about height, which is a required measure to figure out the area of a shape:
    • Bright → Height: As in, “All things height and beautiful” and “Always look on the height side of life” and “Height as a button” and “Height lights, big city” and “Height and early.”
    • Hate → Height: As in, “Height mail” and “A love-height relationship.”
    • Fright → Height: As in, “Heightened of your own shadow” and “A heightful mess.”
    • Hat → Height: “At the drop of a height” and “Hang up your height” and “Height in hand” and “Heights off to” and “I’ll eat my height.”
    • Hit → Height: As in, “Height the road” and “Height and miss” and “Height and run” and “Height it off” and “Height it on the nose” and “Height it out of the park” and “Height rock bottom.”
    • Heat → Height: As in, “Body height” and “Height up” and “Height wave” and “If you can’t stand the height, get out of the kitchen” and “In the height of battle” and “The height is on.”
    • Heterosexual → Heighterosexual
  • Parent → Parentheses: “Absent parentheses” and “Helicopter parentheses” and “Hope is the parentheses of faith.”
  • Power: Here are some power (related to exponent) related puns:
    • Powder → Power: As in, “Power room” and “Power your nose” and “Power keg.”
    • Sour → Power: As in, “Power grapes.”
  • Opponent → Exponent: “Stand and face your exponent.”
  • Reminder → Remainder: “A nice remainder” and “Please remainder me to…”
  • Artistic → Statistic: “Statistic triumph.”
  • Date → Rate: “Double rate” and “Blind rate” and “Bring up to rate” and “A cheap rate” and “Rate with destiny” and “Out of rate” and “Past its sell-by rate.”
  • Rat → Rate: “I don’t give a rate’s ass” and “I smell a rate.”
  • Ate → Rate: “I can’t believe I rate the whole thing!”
  • Great → Rate: “A rate day” and “All creatures rate and small” and “Disease has no rater enemy” and “Go rate guns” and “Go to rate lengths” and “Rate expectations” and “Rate Scott!”
  • Fate → Rate: “A rate worse than death” and “Bow to rate” and “Master of my own rate” and “Ill rated” and “Seal your rate” and “Twist of rate” and “Wheel of rate” and “Tempting rate.”
  • Right → Rate: “A move in the rate direction” and “The rate to choose” and “Alrate already!” and “Rate as rain” and “Bang to rates” and “Barge rate in” and “Bragging rates” and “Consumer rates” and “Dead to rates.”
  • Wait → Rate: As in, “An accident rate-ing to happen” and “All things to those who rate” and “A heart attack rate-ing to happen” and “Heaven can rate” and “Hurry up and rate” and “Lie in rate” and “Playing the rate-ing game” and “The rate is over” and “Time rates for no-one.”
  • Write → Rate: “Nothing to rate home about” and “Paperback rater” and “Rater’s cramp” and “Rate off.”
  • Late → Rate: “Better rate than never” and “Buy now, pay rater” and “Catch you rater” and “A day rate” and “Fashionably rate” and “Never too rate” and “A rate bloomer.”
  • *rat* → *rate*: “A new strategy” and “Imperate-tive to” and “A delicate operate-tion.”
  • *ret* → *rate*: “A rate-turn to normalcy” and “Rate-treat for now” and “An act of rate-tribution” and “Rate of rate-tention.” Other words that could work: pratetentious, interprate, secrate, regrate, concrate, rate-tort.
  • *rit* → *rate*: “Fighting spirate” and “Merate certificate” and “Catch the culprate” and “Inherate the Earth.” Other words you can try: integratey, securatey, crate-tical, authoratey, crateria, contrate, hypocrate and favourate.
  • *rot* → *rate*: Carrate, parrate, tarate, prate-ocol, prate-agonist, prate-tein, prate-otype and prate-test.
  • *rate*: We can simply emphasise the “rate” that already exists in these words: elaborate, ameliorate, disparate, curate, grateful, separate and deliberate.
  • Fine → Finite: As in, “A finite line” and “Change would be a finite thing” and “Cut it finite” and “Damn finite coffee” and “Finite and dandy” and “Finite words butter no parsnips” and “The finite things in life” and “Got it down to a finite art” and “Here’s another finite mess you’ve gotten me into.”
  • Fine Night → Finite: As in, “A finite at the opera.”
  • Quote → Quotient: As in, “Air quotient” and “Don’t quotient me” and “Scare quotient” and “Quotient, unquotient.”
  • Quo → Quotient: As in, “The status quotient” and “Quid pro quotient.”
  • Near → Linear: As in, “A short history of linearly everything” and “Coming to a screen linear you” and “Linear and dear to my heart” and “A linear death experience” and “A linear miss” and “Linear sighted” and “Linearly new” and “A linear thing.”
  • Hear → Lin-hear: As in, “Ask no questions and lin-hear no lies” and “Can you lin-hear me now” and “Don’t believe everything you lin-hear” and “Hard of lin-hearing” and “Lin-hear me out” and “Lin-hear no evil” and “Lin-hear them out” and “Lin-hear the last of” and “I can’t lin-hear myself think!”
  • Slope: In maths, the slope (or gradient) of a line describes the direction and steepness of a line. Here are some related puns:
    • Soup → Slope: As in, “From slope to nuts” and “In the slope” and “Alphabet slope.”
    • *scope → *slope: As in, “Under the microslope” and “Slope it out.”
    • Hope → Slope: As in, “A new slope” and “Abandon slope” and “Cross my heart and slope to die” and “Slope springs eternal” and “Keep slope alive” and “Land of slope and glory.”
    • Rope → Slope: As in, “At the end of your slope” and “Jump slope” and “Learn the slopes” and “On the slopes.”
    • Soap → Slope: “Slope opera” and “Wash your mouth out with slope” and “Bar of slope.”
  • Proper: Here are some proper puns, related to proper fractions:
    • Oper* → Proper*: As in, “Delicate properation” and “Phone properator.”
    • Propor* → Proper*: As in, “Blown out of propertion” and “Propertionate payments.” Other words you could use: Propertional and propertionally.
    • Paprika → Properika
    • Appropriate → Approperiate: As in, “Approperiate conduct” and “Approperiate dress code.”
  • Less: These next few puns are around the word “less”, as in “less than”:
    • *las* → *less*: As in, “Veggie lessagne” and “A lessting impression” and “World atless” and “One of the clessics” and “An act of blessphemy.”
    • *lis* → *less*: As in, “On the short lesst” and “Real estate lessting” and “Wouldn’t lessten” and “A bustling metropoless.” Other words you could use: trelless (trellis), chrysaless (chrysalis), borealess, acropoless, holesstic (holistic) and accomplessh.
    • *los* → *less*: As in, “Studying philessophy” and “Spring blessoms” and “Gleaming lesstre” and “Mental calculess.” Other words you could use: surpless (surplus), stimuless (stimulus), oculess (oculus) and elessive (elusive).
  • Conversation → Conversion: As in, “Conversion piece” and “A real conversion stopped” and “Just came out in conversion.”
  • Version → Conversion: As in, “What’s your conversion of the story?” and “Conversion 2.0.”
  • Prime: Here are some prime number-related puns for you to play with:
    • Crime → Prime: As in, “Prime and punishment” and “A prime against nature” and “Prime doesn’t pay” and “A prime of passion” and “Primes and misdemeanours” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the prime” and “Let the punishment fit the prime” and “A nose for prime” and “Partners in prime” and “Take a bite out of prime” and “The perfect prime” and “Tough on prime.”
    • Chime → Prime: As in, “Prime in with” and “Primes of freedom.”
    • Climb → Prime: As in, “Prime onto the bandwagon” and “Prime the corporate ladder” and “Prime the walls” and “A mountain to prime” and “Prime on down.”
    • Brim → Prime: As in, “Prime-ing over with confidence” and “Fill it to the prime” and “Hellfire and primestone.”
    • *prem* → *prime*: As in, “An interesting prime-ise” and “Paying a prime-ium price” and “Movie prime-iere” and “A dark prime-onition” and “A prime-ature guess” and “Fighting for suprime-acy.”
    • *prim* → *prime*: As in, “Prime-ary colours” and “Prime-itive technology” and “Prime-al urges.” Other words you could try: prime-ordial (primordial), prime-ate (primate), prime-eval (primeval), reprime-and (reprimand).
    • *prom* → *prime*: As in, “A prime-inent politician” and “Prime-oting the right ideas.” Other words that could work: prime-iscuous (promiscuous), prime-otion (promotion), prime-enade (promenade), prime-ptly (promptly), prime-inence (prominence), comprime-ise (compromise), prime-ise (promise) and imprime-ptu (impromptu).
  • Line: Here are some line-related puns (as in measurement and graphing) for you to play with:
    • Lane → Line: As in, “In the fast line” and “Down memory line.”
    • Fine → Line: As in, “Line dining” and “Liner things in life” and “Got it down to a line art” and “In line form” and “Not to put too line a point on it.”
    • Nine → Line: As in, “A stitch in time saves line” and “Line to five” and “On cloud line.
    • Sign → Line: As in, “Give me a line” and “A line of the times” and “Lined and sealed.”
    • *lan* → *line*: As in, “Picturesque linedscape” and “Paper lineterns” and “Not part of the pline” and “A lone islined.”
    • *len* → *line*: As in, “A line-ient punishment” and “Breadth and linegth of the issue” and “Linetil curry” and “Pleading for line-iency” and “A sulline expression.” Other words that could work: swolline (swollen), polline (pollen), crestfalline (crestfallen), stoline (stolen), malevolinet (malevolent), challinege (challenge), ambivalinet (ambivalent), condolineces (condolences), benevolinet (benevolent), prevalinet (prevalent) and calinedar (calendar).
    • *lin → *line: Maudline (maudlin), gobline, tarpauline, insuline, penicilline, adrenaline.
    • *lon* → *line*: As in, “Linedon (London) time” and “Feeling linely” and “The upper echelines” and “Meline bread” and “Commit a feliney” and “Bacterial coliney.”
    • *lun* → *line*: As in, “Vegan linecheon meat” and “Kid’s volineteer.” Other words you could use: blineder (blunder) and plineder (plunder).
  • Even: Here are some puns for even numbers:
    • *aven* → *even*: As in, “Going down the wrong evenue” and “Evenge your death” and “The Evengers” and “Eventurine jewelry.”
    • *even*: We can emphasise the “even” in these words: event, eventually, evening, eventual, events, eventide, eventuality, evenly, seven, eleven, revenantrevenue, prevent and revenge.
    • *iven* → *even*: As in, “It’s a geven (given)” and “Dreven to madness” and “Let me enleven you.”
    • *uven* → *even*: As in, “A jevenile reaction” and “Skin rejevenation.”
    • *avan* → *even*: As in, “Event garde art” and “Careven park.” Other words that could work: evenescent (evanescent), evengelist (evangelist), evengelical (evangelical), relevent (relevant), grievence (grievance), irrelevent (irrelevant) and relevence (relevance).
  • Odd: These next few puns are based around “odd”, as in odd numbers:
    • *ad* → *odd*: As in, “Oddvocate for” and “I would oddvise against that” and “Looking for oddvice” and “I’m oddamant that” and “Sexual oddvances.” Other words that could work: oddjacent (adjacent), oddhere (adhere) and oddvent (advent).
    • *ed* → *odd*: As in, “Tertiary odducation” and “Old oddifices” and “Oddible underwear” and “Willing to odducate” and “An incroddulous expression” and “A sophisticatodd dinner.”
    • *id* → *odd*: Oddiom (idiom), oddiocracy (idiocracy), oddentify (identify), oddiot (idiot), forbodd (forbid), vapodd (vapid), candodd (candid), avodd (avid) and solodd (solid).
    • *od* → *odd*: oddious (odious), oddyssey (odyssey), oddor (odor), boddy (body), moddel (model), accommoddate (accommodate), methodd (method) and periodd (period).
    • *add* → *odd*: As in, “The wrong oddress” and “Mental oddition” and “Gambling oddiction.”
    • *at* → *odd*: As in, “A huge oddrocity” and “Oddone for earlier actions.” Other words you could try: oddomic (atomic), imperoddtive (imperative), ultimodd (ultimate), operoddtion (operation).
    • *et* → *odd*: oddymology (etymology), oddiquette (etiquette), oddernal (eternal), impoddus (impetus) and markodd (market).
    • *att* → *odd*: As in, “Bad odditude” and “Positive oddributes” and “Personal oddack” and “Oddend to your needs.” Other words you could try: oddention (attention), oddendance (attendance), oddest (attest) and oddorney (attorney).
  • Discreet → Discrete: As in, “Discrete charms.”
  • Gone → Polygon: As in, “Been and polygon” and “Going, going, polygon” and “Polygon with the wind” and “Polygon, but not forgotten” and “Here today, polygon tomorrow.”
  • Tan: The following puns are to do with tan, which is related to angles and trigonometry:
    • Can → Tan: As in, “A golden key tan open any door” and “As far as the eye tan see” and “As much as tan be expected” and “Be all that you tan be” and “Bite off more than you tan chew” and “Tan I help you?”
    • Ten → Tan: As in, “Count to tan” and “Hang tan” and “A perfect tan” and “The top tan.”
    • Tin → Tan: As in, “Does what it says on the tan” and “Tan ears” and “Tanfoil hat.”
    • Than → Tan: As in, “Better tan sex” and ‘”Bite off more tan you can chew” and “Easier said tan done” and “Eyes bigger tan your belly” and “Higher tan a kite” and “More money tan god.”
    • *ten* → *tan*: As in, “A tantative approach” and “Tander love” and “Professional tanure.” Other words that could work: tanacious (tenacious), tanuous (tenuous), tanacity (tenacity), tanant (tenant), tanor (tenor), oftan (often), smittan (smitten), threatan (threaten), kindergartan (kindergarten), enlightan (enlighten), glutan (gluten), potantial (potential), pretantious (pretentious) and maintanance (maintenance).
    • *tin* → *tan*: Latan (Latin), cretan (cretin), bulletan (bulletin), satan (satin), keratan (keratin), pertanent (pertinent), itanerary (itinerary), obstanate (obstinate), destany (destiny).
  • Sin: Here are some sin-related puns (quick note that “sin” is pronounced like “sign”):
    • Sign → Sin: As in, “A sure sin” and “Born under a bad sin” and “Give me a sin” and “A sin of the times” and “Sin off” and “Sin on the dotted line” and “Sin out” and “Sin-ed and sealed” and “A tell-tale sin” and “Vital sins.”
    • Sigh → Sin: As in, “Breathe a sin of relief.”
    • Sin: Sin has a couple of different pronunciations and meanings, so we can play around with them to make puns and jokes: “Head for business and a body for sin” and “Miserable as sin” and “Original sin” and “Seven deadly sins” and “A multitude of sins.”
    • Spine → Sin: As in, “Send shivers down someone’s sin” and “Sin-tingling” and “Steely-sined.”
    • Shine → Sin: As in, “Come rain or sin” and “Rise and sin” and “Sin on” and “Take a sin to.”
  • Cos: The following puns are focused on cos, which is to do with angles and trigonometry:
    • Gauze → Cos: “Packed with cos.”
    • Cause → Cos: As in, “Cos a stir” and “Cos and effect” and “A cos for concern” and “Just cos” and “A lost cos” and “Rebel without a cos” and “A common cos.”
    • Cross → Cos: As in, “Cos to the other side” and “Cos swords with” and “Cos your heart and hope to die” and “At cos purposes” and “Double cos” and “Didn’t cos my mind.”
    • *cas* → *cos*: Coscade (cascade), cosual (casual), cosino (casino), occosion (occasion) and sarcostic (sarcastic).
    • *cus → *cos*: Costom (custom), costody (custody), costomer (customer), costodian (custodian), costomary (customary), focos (focus), caucos (caucus), circos (circus), mucos (mucus), abacos (abacus), hibiscos (hibiscus) and hocos (hocus).
  • Order: In a maths context, this refers to order of operations. So here are some PEDMAS-related puns for you:
    • Border → Order: As in, “Head for the order” and “South of the order.”
    • Oughtta (Ought to) → Order: As in, “Why I order…”
    • Cameraderie → Camerorderie
    • *oder* → *order*: As in, “Mordern housing” and “Morderate temperatures” and “File encorder” and “Everything in morderation.”
    • Marauder → Marorder: As in, “The Marorder’s Map.”
    • Ordi* → Order*: As in, “City ordernance” and “Out of the ordernary.”
    • *arter* → *order*: As in, “Hit an ordery (artery)” and “Next financial quorder.”
    • *orter* → *order*: As in, “News reporder” and “Fluffy comforder” and “Most ardent supporder.” Other words that could work: transporder (transporter), exporder (exporter) and imporder (importer).
  • Put → Input: “Be hard input to” and “Couldn’t input it down” and “Feeling a bit input out” and “Wouldn’t input it past him” and “Nicely input.”
  • Score: In maths, we use scores to help us understand results and statistics. Here are some score-related puns for you:
  • Scar → Score: “Scored shitless” and “Scored stiff” and “Scored to death” and “Score out of your wits.”
    • Sore → Score: As in, “Prevent score throats” and “A sight for score eyes” and “Score loser” and “Sticks out like a score thumb” and “A score point.”
    • Chore → Score: “Sharing the scores” and “Score day.”
    • Saw → Score: “Score her standing there” and “I came, I score, I conquered.”
    • Core → Score: As in,”Score competencies” and “Score dump” and “Score studies” and “Score technology” and “Score values” and “Rotten to the score.”
    • *scor* → *score*: Scoren (scorn), scorech (scorch) and score-pion (scorpion).
    • *scur* → *score*: “As in, “Obscore references” and “Hidden in obscore-ity.”
  • Mile: Since miles are an important unit of measurement and used in converting lengths, we’ve included mile-related puns here:
    • Mail → Mile: As in, “Express mile” and “Hate mile” and “Junk mile” and “Mile order” and “Snail mile” and “Check is in the mile” and “Check your voice mile.”
    • Meal → Mile: As in, “Make a mile of it” and “Mile ticket” and “Three square miles a day” and “Mile ticket.”
    • Male → Mile: As in, “Angry white mile.”
    • Mill → Mile: “Mile-ing about” and “Put through the mile” and “Run of the mile.”
    • Aisle → Mile: “Walk down the mile” and “Rolling in the miles” and “Cleanup in mile 3.”
    • Dial → Mile: As in, “Mile down” and “Pocket mile.”
    • I’ll → Mile: As in, “Well mile be” and “Mile be damned” and “Mile say” and “Ask me no questions, mile tell you no lies” and “Mile be back” and “You scratch my back and mile scratch yours.”
    • *mal* → *mile*: As in, “Milevolent villain” and “A drunken mile-aise” and “Filled with mile-ice” and “Mile-icious actions” and “Mile-ignant tumour.” Other words you could try: mile-eable (malleable), animile (animal), optimile (optimal), dismile (dismal), primile (primal), formile, normile, abysmile (abysmal), mammile (mammal), minimile (minimal), thermile (thermal) and anomiley (anomaly).
    • *mel* → *mile*: As in, “Mileancholy secrets”and “Mile-low (mellow) attitude” and “A sweet mileody” and “Having a miletdown” and “Tooth enamile.” Other words that could work: camile (camel), caramile (caramel), pummile (pummel), mile-lenial (millenial), famile-ly (family), humile-lity (humility), assimile-late (assimilate), simile-lar (similar) and famile-liar (familiar).
    • *mol* → *mile*: Paracetemile (paracetemol), epistemile-ogy (epistemology) and milecule (molecule). Note: epistemology is the study of knowledge.
    • *mul* → *mile*: As in, “In miletiples of two” and “A miletitude of excuses” and “Miletimedia studies” and “Similetaneous combustion” and “Accumile-ated dust.”
  • Yard: These next few puns are about yards (as in the unit of measurement):
    • Hard → Yard: As in, “A yard day’s night” and “Yard as a rock” and “Be yard put to” and “Between a rock and a yard place” and “Come down yard on” and “Fall on yard times.”
    • Guard → Yard: As in, “Drop your yard” and “Yard against” and “Off your yard.”
    • Card → Yard: As in, “A few yards short of a full deck” and “Calling yard” and “Baseball yard” and “A yard up your sleeve” and “Deck of yards” and “Get out of jail free yard” and “Holding all the yards” and “House of yards.”
  • Base: In maths, a base is a system of counting. Here are some related puns:
    • Pass → Base: As in, “All things must base” and “Boarding base” and “Don’t base go” and “As it came to base” and “Make a base at” and “Base muster.”
    • Bass → Base: “Drum and base” and “Sea base” and “Super base.”
    • Ace → Base: As in, “Base Ventura: Pet Detective” and “Base in the hole” and “Base up their sleeve” and “Black as the base of spades” and “Holding all the bases.”
    • Brace → Base: As in, “Belt and bases” and “Base yourself.”
    • Chase → Base: “As in, “Base it up” and “Base the dragon” and “Base your own tail” and “Cut to the base” and “The thrill of the base” and “Wild goose base.”
    • Case → Base: As in, “A base of mistaken identity” and “An open and shut base” and “As the base may be” and “Basket base” and “Base closed”and “Base the joint” and “Crack the base” and “Get off my base” and “A hard base.”
    • Face → Base: “A base as long as a fiddle” and “A great base for radio” and “About base” and “At base value.”
    • Pace → Base: “At snail’s base” and “A change of base” and “Keeping base with” and “Base up and down” and “Put through your bases.”
    • Grace → Base: As in, “Airs and bases” and “Amazing base” and “Fall from base” and “Base period” and “Saving base” and “With good bases.”
    • *bis* → *base*: base-cuit (biscuit), baseson (bison), baseshop (bishop), basetro (bistro), baseque (bisque), basesexual (bisexual), ibase (ibis), cannabase (cannabis), refurbase (refurbish) and rubbase (rubbish).
    • *bus* → *base*: base-iness (business), basey (busy), basetle (bustle), nimbase (nimbus), syllabase (syllabus), omnibase (omnibus), rhombase (rhombus) and filibaseter (filibuster).
  • Attitude → Magnitude: As in, “Cop a magnitude” and “Bad magnitude” and “With a magnitude.” Note: the magnitude of something is to do with absolute or relative size of it.
  • Complicate → Calculate: As in, “Life’s calculated enough” and “It’s calculated.”
  • *val* → *value*: As in, “Happening in intervalues” and “Approvalue rating” and “Rivalue teams” and “Music festivalue.” Other words that you could try: carnivalue (carnival), evalue-ate (evaluate), equivalue-ent (equivalent), value-date (validate) and value-able (valuable).
  • Whole: These next few puns are based around the word “whole”, as in “whole numbers” or “whole values”:
    • Hole → Whole: As in, “Ace in the whole” and “Burn a whole in your pocket” and “Full of wholes” and “Hell whole” and “Whole in the wall” and “Picked wholes in” and “Riddled with wholes.”
    • Well → Whole: As in, “Alive and whole” and “Get whole soon” and “Exceedingly whole read.”
    • *hal* → *whole*: Wholecyon (halcyon), wholemark (hallmark), wholeoween (halloween) and wherewitwhole (wherewithal).
    • *hel* → *whole*: As in, “Wholep!” and “That’s not wholepful” and “Loosely whole-d.”
    • Hilarious → Wholearious
    • *hol* → *whole*: As in, “A firm wholed” and “Wholeistic approach” and “Whole-low promises” and “On whole-iday” and “Wholey crap.” Other words you can try: whole-ler (holler), whole-lly (holly), whole-der (holder), alcowhole (alcohol), menthwhole (menthol), threshwholed (threshold) and with-wholed (withhold).
    • *wol* → *whole*: Whole-verine (wolverine), wholef (wolf), wholefsbane (wolfsbane) and swhole-len (swollen).
  • Round: These next few puns are based around rounding (as in, rounding up or down to the nearest chosen unit):
    • Bound → Round: As in, “By leaps and rounds” and “Duty round” and “Homeward round” and “Muscle round” and “Out of rounds.”
    • *rand* → *round*: As in, “Completely roundom” and “Happening roundomly” and “Out doing errounds.” Other words that could work: operound (operand), memoroundum (memorandum) and groundeur (grandeur).
    • *rend* → *round*: As in, “Graphics rounder” and “Secret roundezvous” and “A stirring roundition.” Other words that could work: roundering (rendering), reveround (reverend), seroundipity (serendipity), surrounder (surrender), referoundum (referendum).
    • Tamarind → Tamaround
    • Rondo → Roundo
    • Rundown → Roundown
    • *wond* → *round*: Rounder (wonder), rounderful (wonderful), roundrous (wondrous), rounderment (wonderful) and rounderfully (wonderfully).
  • Finery → Binary: As in, “Decked out in your best binary.”
  • Ordinary → Orbinary: As in, “A life less orbinary” and “Break out of the orbinary” and “Out of the orbinary.”
  • Aggression → Regression: “Non regression pact” and “An act of regression.”
  • Trend: Here are some trend-related puns:
  • Tend → Trend: “Love me trender” and “Trender is the night” and “Trender loving care” and “Trender mercies” and “Double entrendre.”
  • End → Trend: “A good beginning makes a good trending” and “A means to a trend” and “Good things must come to a trend” and “All’s well that trends well” and “At a loose trend” and “At the trend of the day” and “At the trend of your tether” and “Burn the canlde at both trends” and “Can’t see beyond the trend of your nose” and “Come to a sticky trend” and “Classic hollywood trending.”
  • *rend* → *trend*: “Trender your voice useless” and “Secret trendezvous” and “A stirring trendition.”
  • Bias: Biases are used in statistics in maths. Here are some related puns:
    • Goodbye → Goodbias: “Hello, goodbias” and “Kiss goodbias” and “Time to say goodbias” and “Can kiss that one goodbias.”
    • Buy → Bias: “Bulk biasing” and “Bias and sell” and “Bias blind” and “Bias now, pay later” and “Bias one, get one free” and “Bias some time” and “Can’t bias love” and “The best that money can bias.”
    • By → Bias: “Bias a hair’s breadth” and “Not bias a long shot” and “Bias hook or bias crook” and “Bias no means” and “Bias no stretch of the imagination” and “Bias the book” and “Know it bias heart.”
    • Copious → Cobias: “A cobias amount” and “Cobias free time.”
    • *bes* → *bias*: Biaspoke suit” and “Biastow upon” and “That and biasides.”
    • *bis* → *bias*: biascuit (biscuit), biason (bison), biashop (bishop), biastro (bistro), ibias (ibis) and cannabias (cannabis).
  • Late → Simulate: “Better simulate than never” and “Buy now, pay simulater” and “Catch you simulater” and “A day simulate” and “Fashionably simulate” and “It’s simulater than you think” and “Never too simulate” and “Simulate bloomer” and “Never too simulate too learn.”
  • Difference → Inference: “Details make the inference” and “Doesn’t make a bit of inference” and “Make a world of inference” and “Pocket the inference” and “Same inference” and “Spot the inference.”
  • Ignorance → Inference: As on, “Inference is bliss” and “Willful inference” and “Inference is no excuse.”
  • Made → Model: As in, “Custom model” and “Got it model” and “Have it model” and “I’m not model of money” and “Model for each other” and “Model in the shade.”
  • Simple → Sample: As in, “It’s so sample” and “Keep it sample” and “Life’s sample pleasures” and “Pure and sample” and “Sample yet effective” and “The truth is rarely ever pure and sample.”
  • Ample → Sample: “Sample proportions.”
  • Example → Ex-sample: “Lead by ex-sample” and “Make an ex-sample out of” and “A textbook ex-sample.”
  • Unit: In this context, we’re using “unit” as in “unit of measurement”. Here are some related puns:
    • *nit* → *unit*: As in, “Down to the unitty gritty” and “Liquid unitrogen” and “Don’t unitpick the details.”
    • *init* → *unit*: As in, “Taking unitiative” and “The unitial plan” and “Unitiation night.”
  • Rhythm → Algorithm: As in, “With the algorithm and the beat” and “Dance to the algorithm.”
  • Pie: These pie-related puns can double as pie graph jokes:
    • Pie → Pie Graph: “American Pie Graph” and “Easy as apple pie graph” and “Sweet as pie graph” and “Eat humble pie graph” and “A finger in many pie graphs” and “A piece of the pie graph” and “Sweetie pie graph.”
    • High → Pie: As in, “Aim pie” and “Ain’t no mountain pie enough” and “Pie as a kite” and “Come hell or pie water” and Flying pie” and “Pie and dry” and “Pie and mighty” and “Pie five.”
    • Buy → Pie: As in, “Pie and sell” and “Pie into” and “Pie now, pay later” and “Pie one, get one free” and “Pie some time” and “Pie some time” and “Can’t pie love.”
    • By → Pie: As in, “Pie a hair’s breadth” and “Pie a landslide” and “Pie a long shot” and “Pie all accounts” and “Pie and large” and “Pie any means” and “Pie any stretch of the imagination” and “Don’t do it pie halves” and “Pie hook or pie crook” and “Pie the skin of your teeth.”
    • Fly → Pie: “Born to pie” and “Come pie with me” and “Float like a butterpie” and “Go pie a kite” and “Pie by night” and “Pie by the seat of your pants.”
    • Shy → Pie: “Camera pie” and “Fight pie” and “Once bitten, twice pie.”
    • Eye → Pie: As in, “As far as the pie can see” and “Avert your pies” and “Before your very pies.”
    • *pe* → *pie*: “At the piediatrician’s office” and “It’s my pierty and I’ll cry if I want to” and “”A new world pieradigm” and “Pieper flowers” and “Consistent pietterns.” Other words that could work: pietience (patience), pieradox (paradpx), pient (paint), pien (pain), pier (pair) and campiegn (campaign).
    • *pe* → *pie*: Piedantic (pedantic) and pieple (people).
    • *pi* → *pie*: As in, “Piene scented” and “In the piepeline” and “Out of the piecture” and “On autopielot” and “In good spierits” and “A turn of serendipiety.”
    • *ply → *pie: “Appie yourself” and “In good suppie” and “Compie with the rules and regulations” and “What are you trying to impie?” and “Late repie.” Other words that could work: simpie (simply), multipie (multiply) and deepie (deeply).
  • Root: Here are some square root related puns:
    • Route → Root: As in, “Get your kicks on root 66.”
    • Rude → Root: As in, “A root awakening” and “No need to be root.”
    • Fruit → Root: As in, “Bear root” and “Root cake” and “Forbidden root” and “The roots of your labour” and “Low hanging root” and “The root doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
    • Root: These root-related phrases can double as square root puns: “Grass roots” and “Lay down roots” and “The root of all evil” and “The root of the matter.”
    • Roof → Root: As in, “Go through the root” and “Hit the root” and “Raise the root” and “Up on the root.”
  • Clue → Cube: As in, “Don’t have a cube” and “Haven’t got a cube.”
  • Queue → Cube: As in, “Cube up” and “Jump the cube.”
  • Cue → Cube: As in, “On cube” and “Take your cube” and “Take your cube from.”
  • Curb → Cube: As in, “Kick to the cube” and “Cube your enthusiasm” and “Cube appeal.”
  • Plane: In maths, a plane is a flat, 2-d surface. Here are some related puns:
    • Pane → Plane: As in, “Clean the window plane.”
    • Pain → Plane: As in, “A world of plane” and “Doubled up in plane” and “Drown the plane” and “Feeling no plane” and “Growing planes” and “No plane, no gain” and “Old aches and planes” and “Plane in the butt” and “Planefully slow.”
    • Brain → Plane: As in, “All brawn and no planes” and “Plane drain” and “Planestorming session.”
    • Bane → Plane: “The plane of my life.”
    • Plain → Plane: As in, “Plane as day” and “Plane as the nose on your face” and “Hidden in plane sight” and “Plane sailing.”
    • Roof → Proof: As in, “Go through the proof” and “Cat on a hot tin proof” and “Hit the proof” and “Raise the proof” and “Shout it from the prooftops.”
  • City → Density: As in, “Bright lights, big density” and “Density lights” and “Density slicker” and “Inner density.”
  • Wise → Piecewise: “A word to the piecewise” and “Piecewise as an owl” and “None the piecewiser” and “Older and piecewiser” and “Street piecewise” and “Three piecewise men” and “A word to the piecewise” and “Piecewise beyond your years.” Note: A piecewise function is one defined by multiple sub-functions.
  • Instance → Distance: “For distance” and “How many distances?”
  • Drive → Derive: As in, “You can derive my car” and “Back seat deriver” and “Derive a hard bargain” and “Derive a wedge between” and “Derive by shooting” and “Derive safely.”
  • Dive → Derive: As in, “Took a nose derive” and “Derive right in” and “Take a derive.”
  • Mention → Dimension: “Don’t dimension it” and “Honourable dimension” and “Make dimension of” and “Not to dimension” and “Now you dimension it…”
  • Span: Since span is a commonly used unit of measurement and measurements and conversion are important in maths, we’ve included it in this list:
    • Spin → Span: As in, “Give it a span” and “Make your head span” and “Take it for a span.”
    • Pan → Span: As in, “Flat as a spancake” and “Down the span” and “Flash in the span” and “Out of the frying span, into the fire” and “Span out.”
    • Plan → Span: As in, “Action span” and “Business span” and “Cook up a span” and “Failing to span is spanning to fail” and “Game span” and “I have a cunning span” and “Span ahead.”
    • *spen* → *span*: As in, “Indispansible to the team” and “Soap dispanser” and “Suspanded membership” and “Kept in suspanse.”
    • *spin* → *span*: As in, “Spanach and ricotta” and “In a tailspan.”
    • *spon* → *span*: As in, “A spantaneous decision” and “Fundraising spansor” and “A terse respanse” and “In correspandence with” and “Take respansibility for” and “Moody and despandent.”
    • Pan* → Span*: As in, “Solar spanel” and “Black Spanther.” Other words you could try: spanda, spanoply, spanache and spantheon. Notes: a panoply is a full range of something and a pantheon is a temple dedicated to all of the gods in a particular religion.
  • League: As leagues are a unit of measurement, we’ve included a few related puns:
    • Lag → League: As in, “Jet league” and “League-ing behind.”
    • *leg* → *league*: As in, “Part of your league-acy” and “Bootleague copy” and “Learn to deleague-ate effectively” and “An eleague-ant solution” and “An alleague-orical story.”
  • Point: We’ve included some point-related puns for you:
    • Pant → Point: As in, “Ants in their points” and “Beat the points off” and “By the seat of your points” and “Caught with your points down” and “Fancy points” and “Keep your points on.”
    • Paint → Point: “A lick of point” and “A picture points a thousand words” and “Boring as watching point dry” and “Body pointing” and “Do I have to point you a picture?” and “Figure pointing” and “Landscape pointing” and “Point it black.”
    • Joint → Point: “Case the point” and “Point venture” and “Put your nose out of point.”
    • *pent* → *point*: “Point up rage” and “In the pointhouse” and “Repoint (repent) in leisure.”
    • *pot* → *point*: As in, “Filled with pointential” and “Pointato chips” and “A pointent mixture” and “Gained through nepointism.”
  • Ray: In maths, a ray is a line extending out indefinitely from a point. Here are some related puns:
    • Say → Ray: As in, “Computer rays no” and “Have the final ray” and “Have your ray” and “I’m hearing what you ray” and “As the raying goes.”
    • Stray → Ray: As in, “Waifs and rays” and “Lead asray.”
    • They → Ray: As in, “Ray lived happily ever after” and “Tough as ray come” and “Let the chips fall where ray may” and “The bigger ray are, the harder ray fall.”
    • *roy* → *ray*: rayal (royal), rayalty, rayalties, destray and corduray.
    • Vertebrae → Vertebray
    • *rie* → *ray*: As in, “An eeray movie” and “Stuck in a reveray” and “Bound together with camaraderay.” Other words you could use: menageray (menagerie), lingeray, experayence, proprayetary and orayentation.
    • *rai* → *ray*: As in, “Rayse the roof” and “Off the rayls” and “Standing in the rayn” and “Police rayd.” Other words that could work: raynbow, raylway and raylroad.
    • *rei* → *ray*: Rayiterate (reiterate), rayn (reign), rayinforce (reinforce), rayimbursement (reimbursement) and soverayn (sovereign).
    • *wri* → *ray*: Rayte (write), rayting (writing), rayng (wring), raythe (writhe), raynkle (wrinkle) and handrayte (handwrite).
  • Domain: Here are some domain-related puns:
    • Main → Domain: As in, “Domain chance” and “The domain event” and “My domain squeeze.”
    • Remain → Domain: As in, “Better to domain silent” and “Mortal domains” and “You have the right to domain silent.”
    • Again → Domain: As in, “All over domain” and “Born domain” and “Breathe domain” and “Come domain?” and “Do it domain.”
  • Direction → Directrix: “In which directrix?” and “A step in the right directrix.” Note: a directrix is to do with graphing parabolas.
  • Cyclic: The term “cyclic” is used in many different aspects of mathematics. Here are some related puns:
    • Psychic → Cyclic: “I don’t know, I’m not cyclic.”
    • Sidekick → Cyclic
    • Click → Cyclic: “Point and cyclic” and “Cyclic bait” and “Cyclic into place” and “Cyclic it or ticket” and “Cyclic with” and “Cyclic your fingers” and Double cyclic” and “We really cycliced.”
  • Tour → Contour: As in, “Magical mystery contour” and “Contour de force” and “World contour.”
  • Curve: Curves are common and important shapes in math, so we’ve included them in this list:
    • Nerve → Curve: As in, “A bundle of curves” and “Get on your curves” and “Lose your curve” and “Curves of steel” and “Touched a curve” and “What a curve.”
    • Carve → Curve: As in, “Curve your name with pride” and “Curve out a niche” and “Curve up” and “Curved in stone.”
    • Serve → Curve: As in, “First come, first curved” and “How may I curve you?” and “Curves you right” and “A dish best curved cold” and “Curve your time.”
  • You’ll → Euler: As in, “Euler never guess” and “Play with fire and euler get burned.” Note: Leonhard Euler is a mathematician.
  • Different → Differential: As in, “And now for something completely differential” and “Differential as chalk and cheese” and “Dare to be differential” and “A whole differential ball game” and “In a differential class” and “Enter a differential world” and “Refreshingly differential.”
  • National → Rational: As in, “Rational treasure.”
  • Real: The next few puns are in reference to real numbers :
    • Reel → Real: As in, “Real ’em in.”
    • Rail → Real: As in, “Ride the reals” and “Off the reals.”
    • *ral* → *real*: As in, “In genereal” and “Integreal to the team” and “A viscereal reaction.” Other words that you could try: natureal (natural), ephemereal (ephemeral), moreal (moral), collatereal (collateral), libereal (liberal), periphereal (peripheral) and temporeal (temporal).
    • *rel* → *real*: As in, “Can’t realate” and “Professional realationship” and “Breathe a sigh of realief.” Other words that could work: realay (relay), realease (release), realigion (religion), realuctant (reluctant), realiable (reliable), appareal (apparel), squirreal (squirrel), scoundreal (scoundrel) and mongreal (mongrel).
    • *ril* → *real*: Pereal (preil), tendreal (tendril) and Apreal (April).
  • Fourier: These next few puns are in reference to Fourier series:
    • Four → Fourier: As in, “Cast to the fourier winds” and “Down on all fouriers” and “Fourier by two” and “A fourier letter word” and “From the fourier corners of the Earth.”
    • For → Fourier: As in, “Asking fourier a friend” and “Carry a torch fourier” and “Bang fourier your buck.”
    • *fore → *fourier: As in, “Age befourier beauty” and “Befourier it was cool” and “Befourier your time” and “The calm befourier the storm” and “Look befourier you leap” and “Whys and wherefouriers” and “And therefourier…”
  • Fussy → Fuzzy: As in, “A fuzzy attitude.” Note: This is in reference to fuzzy mathematics.
  • *cad* → *code*: As in, “Musical code-ence” and “Acode-emic score” and “At the acode-emy” and “Decode-ent desserts.”
  • Cyber → Cipher: “Cipher sex” and “Cipher Monday.”
  • Tensor: In maths, a tensor is a type of geometric object. Here are some related puns:
    • Ten → Tensor: As in, “Count to tensor” and “Hang tensor” and “The top tensor.”
    • Sore → Tensor: As in, “Mad as a bear with a tensor head” and “Sight for tensor eyes” and “Tensor losers” and “Sticks out like a tensor thumb” and “A tensor point.”
  • Bayes: Bayes’ theorem is a rule used in probability theory and statistics. Here are related puns!
    • Bay → Bayes: As in, “Bayes for blood” and “Hold at bayes.”
    • Pace → Bayes: “At a snail’s bayes” and “A change of bayes” and “Keep bayes with” and “Bayesing up and down” and “Put through your bayes-es.”
    • Base → Bayes: As in, “All your bayes are belong to us” and “Bargain bayesment” and “Bayes jumping” and “Off bayes” and “Touch bayes” and “Steal third bayes.”
    • Blaze → Bayes: As in, “Bayes a trail” and “Go out in a bayes of glory.”
    • Days → Bayes: “Seen better bayes” and “”Those were the bayes” and “Your bayes are numbered” and “The happiest bayes of your life.”
    • Pays → Bayes: As in, “He who bayes the piper calls the tune” and “It bayes to advertise” and “Above my bayes grade” and “Crime doesn’t bayes.”
    • Ways → Bayes: As in, “Change your bayes” and Go our separate bayes” and “Have it both bayes” and “Swing both bayes.”
    • Obeys → Obayes
    • Boysenberry → Bayesenberry
    • Bazaar → Bayesaar

      Math-Related Words

      To help you come up with your own math puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

math, count, add, addition, divide, division, divisibility, subtract, subtraction, multiply, multiplication, multiples, equation, sum, solve, solving, digit, whole number, rounding, zero, one, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, equal, problem, estimate, estimation, eliminate, elimination, order, magnitude, calculate, calculating, calculator, abacus, ones, tens, hundreds, thousands, place value, property, properties, expression, binary, solution, formula, number, numeral, numeric, negative, positive, integer, order of operations, pemdas, prime (number), arithmetic, discrete, even, odd, fraction, half, halves, quarter, third, fourth, fifth, sixth, seventh, eighth, ninth, tenth, numerator, denominator, proper, improper, equivalent, greater than, less than, decimal, convert, converting, conversion, coordinate, percentage, percent, area, length, height, width, line, ray, shape, triangle, pascal, event, de morgan, measure, adjacent, hypotenuse, ruler, protractor, compass, caliper, slide rule, measurement, metric, imperial, millimetre, metre, centimetre, kilometre, inch, foot, mile, yard, span, league, equilateral, isosceles, polygon, parallelogram, scalene, circle, ellipse, rectangle, rhombus, pyramid, cylinder, sphere, cone, torus, cuboid, prism, square, trapezoid, pentagon, hexagon, octagon, septagon, nonagon, decagon, polyhedra,  perimeter, circumference, arc, pi, 3.14, tau, volume, depth, radius, radii, radian, diameter, algebra, geometry, euclidean, point, translation, transformation, rotation, tessellate, tessellation, reflection, map, mapping, dilate, dilation, dilating, symmetry, trigonometry, trig, arcsine, arctangent, arcosine, domain, sinusoidal, vector, logarithm, scalar, matrix, matrices, row-echelon, jacobian, gaussian, ratio, golden ratio, absolute, growth, decay, quadratic, parabola, hyperbolic, directrix, vertex, vertice, rate, constant, evaluate, evaluating, parentheses, exponent, inequalities, remainder, statistics, average, mean, median, mode, range, interquartile, quartile, spread, variance, standard deviation, cumulative, z-score, parameter, scale, scatter plot, spaghetti plot, stokes, hexadecimal, base, cyclic,contour, parametric, correlation, coefficient, regression, trend, residual, model, modelling, sample, sampling, survey, population, bias, causal, causality, simulation, logic, boolean, random, randomness, inference, probability, subset, intersection, relative, superset, operation, operand, prediction, interpret, interpreting, result, tree diagram, permutation, combination, combinatorial, derived, differential, factor, factorial, factoring, value, binomial, theory, theorem, limit, error, interval, pattern, series, sequence, recursive, margin, proportion, hypothesis, test, testing, null, p-value, conclusion, unit, experiment, category, categorical, chi-square, analysis, variable, pictograph, pie graph, venn diagram, frequency, table, condition, distribution, relationships, data, representing, dot plot, graph, bar graph, gradient, intercept, grid, plotting, network, nets, histogram, stem and leaf, outlier, box plot, axis, acute, right, obtuse, angle, degree, quadrilateral, perpendicular, parallel, congruent, congruence, slope, plane, quadrant, proof, bisect, bisecting, density, distance, midpoint, segment, incline, cartesian, dimension, derive, derivative, secant, tangent, rule, composite, inverse, piecewise, motion, position, velocity, acceleration, minimum, maximum, convex, concave, curve, optimisation, horizontal, vertical, accumulation, riemann, euler, product, calculus, x, y, notation, approximate, approximation, substitution, substitute, rationalising, pythagoras, pythagorean, continuity, finite, infinite, quotient, linear, square, square root, cubed, polynomial, monomial, indice, power, tan, sin, cos, exponential, function, input, output, differentiate, rational, real, irrational, algorithm, imaginary (numbers), monty hall (problem), ergodic, fourier, fuzzy, topology, cryptography, code, puzzle, riddle, ciphertext, quantum, stochastic, tensor, bayes, kernel

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Pirate Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on pirate puns! 🏴 ☠ ⛵ 🌊

Pirates today are known as mischievous, swashbuckling characters – cheeky, rule-breaking treasure hunters. But their historical roots are much darker than that, with murder, theft, torture and disease all a common part of a pirate’s lifestyle. We’ve tried to cover all of the different, varied aspects of piracy in this list, from their lingo to their weaponry to famous fictional pirates. So no matter what you’re a fan of or what you’re looking for – whether it be some puns for Talk Like A Pirate Day, or to add some seafaring capers to your Halloween celebrations, we hope that you find the perfect pirate pun.

While this list is as thorough as possible, it is specifically about pirates. If you’re interested in related articles, have a look at our ocean puns, beer puns, boat puns and shark puns.

Pirate Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about pirates that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of pirate puns:

  • Pie → Pie-rate: As in, “Apple pie-rate,” and “Easy as pie-rate,” and “Sweet as pie-rate,” and “Eat humble pie-rate,” and “A piece of the pie-rate,” and “Sweetie pie-rate.” 
  • Corporate → Cor-pirate: As in, “The cor-pirate ladder.” 
  • Irate → P-irate: As in, “This show makes me so p-irate!” 
  • Practical → Piratical: As in, “Piratical walking shoes,” and “A piratical character,” and “Bring some piratical hiking clothes.” Note: if someone is piratical, it means they commit acts of piracy.
  • *pira* → *pirate*: As in, “Res-pirate-ory,” and “Ins-pirate-ional,” and “Res-pirate-ion,” and “As-pirate,” and “Ins-pirate-ion,” and “Cons-pirate-cy.” 
  • Arr*: Emphasise words that have an “arr” sound in them to make some salty pirate puns: “We’ve arrr-ived,” and “A b-arrr-el of laughs,” and “C-arrry on,” and “No holds b-arrr-ed,” and “Arr-ogant,” and “Arrr-ay,” and “Arrrr-est,” and “Arrr-ange,” and “Biz-arrre.”
  • Are → Arrr: As in, “All bets arrr off,” and “Arrr you deaf?” and “Here you arrr,” and “How arrr you?” and “My lips arrr sealed,” and “What arrr the odds?” and “My hands arrr tied,” and “Two heads arrr better than one.”
  • *ore* → *arr*: As in, “Age befarr beauty,” and “Befarr it was cool,” and “Befarr your time,” and “Bite off marr than you can chew,” and “Marr money than god,” and “Marr than meets the eye.”
  • *or* → *arrr*: As in, “Apples and arrranges,” and “This arrr that?”
  • Air → Arrr: As in, “Breath of fresh arrr,” and “Clear the arrr,” and “Dancing on arrr,” and “Arrr guitar,” and “Melt into thin arrr,” and “Out of thin arrr,” and “Spring is in the arrr,” and “Arrrbnb.”
  • R → Arrr: As in, “Arrr2D2,” and “ArrrnB.”
  • Aye: As in, “Aye aye, sir,” and “The ayes have it.” Note: “the ayes have it” is a confirmation that majority of a group have voted in the affirmative. 
  • Eye → Aye: As in, “A wandering aye,” and “All fun and games until someone loses and aye,” and “An aye for an aye,” and “Avert one’s ayes,” and “Beauty is in the aye of the beholder,” and “Bedroom ayes,” and “Before your very ayes,” and “Bright ayes,” and “Aye to aye,” and “A fresh pair of ayes,” and “In the twinkling of an aye,” and “Ayes bigger than your stomach,” and “All ayes.” Note: a wandering eye is when someone is attracted to people other than their current romantic, monogamous partner. 
  • I → Aye: As in, “What can aye say?” and “Aye can help,” and “Aye think so.” 
  • Buy → B-aye: As in, “B-aye now, pay later,” and “B-aye and sell,” and “B-aye into,” and “B-aye some time,” and “Money can’t b-aye you love,” and “The best that money can b-aye,” and “Would you b-aye a used car from this man?”
  • By → B-aye: As in, “B-aye a landslide,” and “B-aye all accounts,” and “B-aye any means,” and “B-aye any stretch of the imagination,” and “B-aye hook or b-aye crook,” and “B-aye my own hand,” and “Cheaper b-aye the dozen,” and “Do b-aye halves,” and “Fall b-aye the wayside,” and “Lead b-aye the nose.” To do something by halves is to not put very much enthusiasm or energy into it. 
  • Bye → B-aye: As in, “Kiss goodb-aye to,” and “Can never say goodb-aye.”
  • I’ll → Aye’ll: As in, “Aye’ll say,” and “Well aye’ll be damned,” and “Ask me no questions, aye’ll tell you no lies,” and “Aye’ll be back,” and “You scratch my back and aye’ll scratch yours.”
  • Eye* → Aye*: As in, “Ayeball,” and “Ayebrow,” and “Ayesore,” and “Ayelash,” and “Bulls-aye.” Note: an eyesore is an unpleasant sight.
  • Ah* → Aye*: Words with an “ah” sound can be changed to “aye” – aye-balaone (abalone), aye-bbreviate (abbreviate), aye-bility (ability), aye-ble (able), aye-bnormal (abnormal), aye-bsolutely (absolutely), aye-ccommodation (accommodation), aye-dmire (admire), aye-mless (aimless), aye-lternative (alternative).
  • Ale → Aye’l: As in, “No more cakes and aye’l?”
  • Ahoy: As in, “Ahoy there,” and “Land ahoy.”
  • Mate → Matey: As in, “Billy no mateys,” and “Matey’s rates,” and “Seeking a soul matey.” Note: Billy no mates is a mocking term for someone with no friends. 
  • Might → Mate: As in, “Cheer up, it mate never happen,” and “Mate as well,” and “Pigs mate fly,” and “The pen is mate-ier than the sword,” and “Mate as well quit.” Note: “the pen is mightier than the sword” means that the media is more powerful than the military. 
  • Meet → Mate: As in, “Fancy mate-ing you here!” and “Make ends mate,” and “Mate and greet,” and “Mate in the middle,” and “More than mates the eye,” and “Please to mate you,” and “Mate your match.”
  • *mate*: Emphasise the “mate” in certain words – material, maternal, ultimate, intimate, consummate, legitimate, estimate, penultimate, decimate, approximate, climate, amateur, animate, automate, checkmate, classmate, cremate, playmate, primate, roommate, stalemate, teammate. Notes: consummate means perfect, or complete in every way. Penultimate means second last. To decimate something is to destroy or devastate it. 
  • *mat*: We can change words that have the “mate” sound to visually include it as well: Mate-riarch (matriarch), mate-rix (matrix), mate-ron (matron) and tomate-o (tomato). Notes: a matriarch is a woman who acts as the head of a group. A matrix is a set of conditions or boundaries in which a thing develops. 
  • I’ve asked → Avast: As in, “Avast her to marry me.”
  • My heart → Me hearty: As in, “A man after me own hearty,” and “Absence makes me hearty grow fonder,” and “Break me hearty,” and “Cross me hearty and hope to die,” and “Don’t go breaking me hearty,” and “Home is where me hearty is,” and “In me hearty of hearts,” and “Set me hearty on.” Notes: To speak of your heart of hearts is to reveal your innermost thoughts. 
  • There → Thar: As in, “Ahoy thar!” and “Are we thar yet?” and “As if thar were no tomorrow,” and “Be thar in spirit,” and “Be thar or be square,” and “Been thar, done that,” and “Don’t go thar,” and “Hang in thar,” and “Here and thar,” and “Here thar be beasts,” and “Here, thar, and everywhere,” and “Hold it right thar!” and “Let thar be light,” and “The truth is out thar,” and “Thar’s no place like home,” and “Thar’s no time like the present.”
  • Their → Thar: As in, “Children and thar toys,” and “Swept of thar feet,” and “Everybody and thar brother,” and “Forgive your enemies – but don’t forget thar names,” and “They learned thar lesson.”
  • They’re → Thar: As in, “Thar blowing in the wind,” and “Thar not okay.”
  • *yo → *yo ho ho: As in, “Tokyo-ho ho,” and “Embryo-ho ho,” and “Mayo-ho ho,” and “Yo yo-ho ho.”
  • Rum: As in, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum,” and “Where’s the rum?” 
  • *rum*: Emphasise the “rum” sound in certain words: “Fo-rum,”, “Inst-rum-ent,”, “St-rum,” and “Rum-ble,”, “Rum-inate,”, “Rum-p,”, “Rum-mage,”, “Spect-rum,”, “D-rum,”, “Deco-rum,”, “Tant-rum,”, “Sc-rum,”, “Se-rum,”, “Conund-rum.” 
  • Drum and bass → Rum and bass (Note: drum and bass is a music genre)
  • Boot → Booty: As in, “Tough as old bootys,” and “Bet your bootys,” and “Booty camp,” and “Give someone the booty,” and “Big bootys to fill,” and “My heart sank into my bootys,” and “I got the booty.” 
  • Booty: As in, “Shake your booty.” 
  • Beauty → Booty: As in, “Booty sleep,” and “Make booty-ful music,” and “Booty is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Booty is only skin-deep.” 
  • *boo → *booty: As in, “Tabooty,” and “Bambooty,” and “Peekabooty.” 
  • Treasure: As in, “Hidden treasure,” and “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” and “Treasure chest,”, “Treasure trove,” and “Buried treasure.” 
  • Land → Landlubber: As in, “The landlubber of the free,” and “The landlubber that time forgot,” and “The law of the landlubber,” and “The length and breadth of the landlubber,” and “This landlubber is your landlubber,” and “Far into the bowels of the landlubber,” and “See how the landlubber lies.” Notes: the land that time forgot is a fantasy film. The law of the land refers to all laws within a country or region. To see how the land lies is to determine as many facts as you can about a situation before making a decision or action. 
  • Encourage → Anchorage: As in “Stop anchoraging him!”.
  • Pieces → Pieces of eight: As in, “Dash to pieces of eight,” and “Bits and pieces of eight.” Notes: pieces of eight were large silver coins and is a famous pirate treasure due to its value. 
  • Double → Doubloon: As in, “Doubloon back,” and “Doubloon booked,” and “Doubloon over,” and “A doubloon-edged sword,” and “A doubloon date,” and “A doubloon whammy.” Note: a double-edged sword is something that could provide both benefits and disadvantages. 
  • Lot → Loot: As in, “A loot of fuss about nothing,” and “A loot on your plate,” and “Leaves a loot to be desired,” and “Not a loot.” 
  • *loot*: Make some swashbuckling pirate puns by emphasising the “loot” sound in certain words: “Solootion,” and “Resolootion,” and “Revolootion,” and “Evolootion,” and “Abso-loot,” and “Convolooted,” and “Floot (flute),” and “Di-loot (dilute),” and “Plooto,” and “Pollootant,” and “Saloot (salute).”
  • Late → Loot: As in, “Better loot than never,” and “Catch you loot-er,” and “Read any good books loot-ely?” and “It’s never too loot to learn,” and “A loot bloomer,” and “It’s loot in the day,” and “See you loot-er, alligator.” 
  • Let → Loot: As in, “Loot it be,” and “Loot it bleed,” and “Friends don’t loot friends drive drunk,” and “I won’t loot you down,” and “Loot nature take its course,” and “Loot off steam,” and “Loot your conscience be your guide,” and “Loot your hair down,” and “I never want to loot you go.” 
  • *let → *loot: As in, “A shrinking vio-loot,” and “Run the gaunt-loot,” and “A magic bul-loot,” and “Ske-loot-ons in the closet,” and “Bite the bul-loot.” 
  • Bound → Bounty: As in, “By leaps and bounties,” and “Homeward bounty,” and “On the rebounty,” and “Out of bounty.” 
  • Chest: As in, “Get it off your chest,” and “Hold your cards close to your chest,” and “That old chestnut,” and “Treasure chest.”
  • Chased → Chest: As in, “I chest after him.”
  • Grog: As in, “Where’s the grog?” and “I’m feeling groggy.” Note: Grog is a name for an alcoholic drink made of rum and water. 
  • God → Grog: As in, “An act of grog,” and “All things are possible with grog,” and “A child of grog,” and “For the love of grog,” and “Grog fearing,” and “A man of grog.” 
  • Hook: As in, “By  hook or by crook,” and “Get hooked on,” and “Hook, line and sinker,” and “Hook up with,” and “I’m hooked,” and “Let off the hook.” Notes: “By hook or by crook” means by any means necessary. To fall for something hook, line and sinker means you’ve accepted an idea or explanation entirely without critically examining what you’ve been told.
  • Peg → Pegleg: As in, “Square pegleg in a round hole,” and “Take down a pegleg or two.” Note: a square peg in a round hole describes something that doesn’t fit into its environment – the odd one out.  
  • Leg → Pegleg: As in, “Fast as his peglegs could carry him,” and “Break a pegleg,” and “Cost an arm and a pegleg,” and “Peglegs like tree trunks,” and “On his last peglegs,” and “Shake a pegleg,” and “Tail between your peglegs,” and “Without a pegleg to stand on,” and “You’re pulling my pegleg,” and “Stretch my peglegs.” Notes: if you’re on your last legs, then you’re near to exhaustion, death or giving up. To shake a leg is to hurry or begin something. If you don’t have a leg to stand on, you’re in a very rocky and disadvantageous position. 
  • Leg* → Pegleg*:  As in, “Peg-legacy,” and “What a peg-legend,” and “A peg-legitimate business,” and “Peg-legal,” and “Peg-legible,” and “Peg-legislation.”
  • Eyepatch → Aye-patch 
  • Eye → Eyepatch: As in, “All fun and games until somebody loses and eyepatch,” and “Avert one’s eyepatch,” and “Better than a poke in the eyepatch with a sharp stick,” and “More than meets the eyepatch,” and “Not a dry eyepatch in the house,” and “Turn a blind eyepatch,” and “Catch someone’s eyepatch.”
  • Crew: As in, “Motley crew,” and “Skeleton crew.” Notes: a skeleton crew is the minimum number of workers needed to operate an undertaking. A motley crew is a band of seemingly mismatched individuals of different backgrounds, personalities and appearances. 
  • Roger → Jolly roger: As in, “Jolly roger that.” Note: Jolly roger is the traditional English name for pirate flags.   
  • *crew: As in, “Screw it,” and “Unscrew,” and “Screwdriver,” and “Corkscrew.” 
  • Chew → Crew: As in, “Bite off more than you can crew,” and “Crew it over.” Note: to chew something over is to consider something at length.
  • *cru* → *crew*: Change words that have the “cru” sound in them to “crew” to make pirate puns: “Ac-crew,” and “Crew-cial,”, “Crew-cifix,”and “Crew-de,”, “Crew-l,” and “Crew-lty,”, “Crew-se,”, “Crew-sade,”, “Ex-crew-ciating,”, “Ins-crew-table,”, “Re-crew-t,”, “S-crew-pulous,”, “S-crew-ples,”, “S-crew-tinise,” and “S-crew-tiny.” Notes: to accrue is to slowly increase the amount you have of something over time. To be scrupulous is to be very honest.
  • Gutless → Cutlass: As in, “The cutlass wonder.” Note: this is a derogotary term used to indicate if someone is lacking in bravery.
  • Tank → Tankard: As in, “Built like a tankard,” and “Empty the tankard,” and “Think tankard.” Note: a think tank is a research group. 
  • Wash → Swashbuckle: As in, “All swashbuckled up,” and “Lost in the swashbuckle.” 
  • Buckle → Swashbuckle: As in, “Swashbuckle down,” and “Swashbuckle under the strain.” 
  • Ship: As in, “Abandon ship,” and “Loose lips sink ships,” and “Run a tight ship,” and “Shape up or ship out,” and “Ships that pass in the night,” and “That ship has sailed,” and “The start of a beautiful friendship,” and “Worship the ground someone walks on,” and “A stormy relationship.” Notes: Loose lips sink ships is a warning against gossip or unguarded talk. Ships in the night is a descriptor for strangers who meet for a short and intense moment and never meet again. 
  • Shop → Ship: As in, “All over the ship,” and “Shipping cart.”
  • Shape → Ship: As in, “All ships and sizes,” and “Get into ship,” and “The ship of things to come.” 
  • *ship: As in, “Relationship,”, “Worship,”, “Fellowship,”, “Leadership,”, “Scholarship,”, Friendship,” and “Hardship.” 
  • *sip* → *ship*: If a word contains “sip” it can usually be replaced with “ship”. For example: gosship (gossip), dishipate (dissipate), shipping (sipping), inshipid (insipid). See the boat puns entry for more.
  • *sib* → *ship*: If a word contains “sib” it can usually be replaced with “ship” to create a terrible pun. For example: posshiply (possibly), accesshipility (accessibility), incomprehenshiple, feashipble, irresponshipble, invishipble, ostenshipbly, revershipble, vishipble. An example sentence might be: “I am responshiple for my puns.”  See the boat puns entry for more.
  • Dec* → Deck*: As in, “Deck-line,” and “Deckree,”, “Deckadent,”, “Deckay,” and “Deckorum,”, “Deckade,” and “Decklaration,” and “Decksterity (dexterity).”
  • Deck: As in, “All hands on deck,” and “Deal from the bottom of the deck,” and “All decked out,” and “A stacked deck,” and “Triple decker.” Notes: To deal from the bottom of the deck is to put someone at a disadvantage using dishonest methods. To stack the deck is to arrange a situation in an unfair way against someone or something.  
  • Duck → Deck: As in, “Deck the question,” and “Decking and diving,” and “Like a deck to water,” and “Like water of a deck’s back,” and “Nice weather for decks.” 
  • Shirk → Shark: As in “Stop sharking your responsibilities and get the job done.”
  • Shiver: When sharks travel in groups, they’re called “shivers”. Example sentence: “Shark puns give me the shivers,” and “Shiver me timbers!”
  • Wish → Fish: As in “I just fish we had more time!” and “If you rub the lamp you get three fishes“.
  • Confiscate → Conch-fish-scate: As in “I’m going to have to conchfishcate your pun licence for that one.”
  • *fici* → *fishi*: If a word contains “fici” it can often be replaced with “fishi”. Here are some examples: affishionado, artifishial, benefishial, coeffishient, defishiency, defishit, ineffishient, suffishient, ofishial, profishient, superfishial.
  • Issue → Fishue: As in “That’s not the fishue here though.” and “I was fishued a sign for parking without a ticket”.
  • Umbrage → Um-brig: As in, “She took um-brig at his oblivious comments.” Notes: umbrage is offence or annoyance. 
  • Bring → Brig: As in, ‘Brig it on,” and “Brig it up,” and “You brig out the best in me,” and “Brig tears to your eyes,” and “Brig the house down,” and “Brig to a head,” and “Brig to the boil,” and “Brig to the table,” and “Brig people closer together,” and “Brig-ging up the rear.” To bring something to a head is to intensify a situation to the point that action must be taken. 
  • Bridge → Brig: As in, “Brig the gap,” and “Water under the brig,” and “We’ll cross that brig when we get to it.” Note: water under the bridge refers to past problems that are no longer stressful or troublesome. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it means to not worry or stress about a possible situation until it actually happens. 
  • But → Boat: As in “Last boat not least” and “Close, boat no cigar,” and “Everything boat the kitchen sink.”
  • Saboteur → Saboateur : As in “Captain, I believe there’s a saboateur on our ship.”
  • Boat: As in, “Don’t rock the boat,” and “In the same boat,” and “Missed the boat,” and “Whatever floats your boat,” and “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Notes: to rock the boat is to say something that will upset the people around you. If you need a bigger boat, then you’ve underestimated the situation you’re in. 
  • Butt → Boat: As in, “Kick boat,” and “Kiss my boat,” and “Pain in the boat,” and “My boat is on the line,” and “Boat-terflies in my stomach.” 
  • Bowtie → Boat-tie: As in, “My boat-tie is too tight.” 
  • Beaut* → Boat*: As in, “Boat-iful people,” and “Boat-y mark,” and “I need my boat-y sleep,” and “Make boat-iful music together,” and “Boat-y is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Boat-y is only skin-deep.”
  • About/Abode → Aboat: As in “What aboat the captain?” and “Welcome to my aboat!”
  • What about → Water boat: As in “Water boat we have tofu curry for dinner tonight?” and “Water boat Daisy? Does she want to come to the beach too?”
  • Captain: As in, “Captain Hook,” and “Only the best for the captain’s table,” and “The captain’s pick.” 
  • Sel* → Sail*: If a word starts with “sel” a boat pun can often be made by replacing it with “sail”: sailection (selection), sailect (select), sailf (self), sailling (selling), sail (sell), saildom (seldom), sailfish (selfish), sailfless (selfless), sailective (selective).
  • Assail: As in “We were assailed by pirates on our way here.” and “This ship is unassailable.”
  • Sale → Sail: As in “There’s a big sail down at the boat store.”
  • *sale* → *sail*: Words containing “sale” can be turned into sailing puns: presail, resail, sailsclerk, sailsperson, wholesail.
  • Sell → Sail: As in, “Buy and sail,” and “Past its sail-by date,” and “Sail your soul to the devil,” and “Sailing like hot cakes.”
  • Sail*: As in, “Hello, sailor,” and “Plain sailing,” and “Sail away,” and “Smooth sailing,” and “Take the wind from my sails,” and “That ship has sailed.” Notes: to take the wind from someone’s sails is to discourage or cause them to lose hope and momentum. If that ship has sailed, then an opportunity has been missed and cannot be returned to. 
  • Exhale → Ex-sail: As in, “Inhale, ex-sail.”
  • *sil*→ *sail*: Words with a “sil” sound can be changed to “sail”: “Imbesail (imbecile),” and “Reconsail (reconcile),” and “Sailence (silence).”
  • Reckon → Wrecken: As in “Do you wrecken we’ll make it through the storm?” and “I am a force to be wreckened with.”
  • *rec* → *wreck*: Use words that have a “rec” sound to make nautical pirate puns: “Di-wrecked (direct),” and “Di-wreck-tion (direction),”, “E-wrecked (erect),”, “Wreck-ognise (recognise),”, “Pre-wreck-quisite (prerequisite),”, “Wreckless (reckless),”, “Wreckommend (recommend),”, “Wreckord (record),”, “Wrecktangle,” and “Wrecktify (rectify).”
  • Wreck: The word “wreck” has a few meanings other than shipwreck, including slang ones (like “Ohhh rekt!” and “He’s an emotional wreck.”) and the regular, formal ones (Like “My wedding was wrecked by the storm”).
  • Sea: As in, “All at sea,” and “Between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Deeper than the deep blue sea,” and “A sea change,” and “Other fish in the sea,” and “Sea legs.” Note: to have to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea is to be in a dilemma where both outcomes are undesirable. Sea legs is the skill of keeping one’s balance when on a boat or ship. 
  • *Sea*: As in, “Backseat driver,” and “The best seat,” and “Break the seal,” and “My lips are sealed,” and “Strawberry season,” and “In search of,” and “Bursting at the seams,” and “Buckle your seatbelt,” and “I’m feeling nausea,” and “Guard against disease,” and “Do your research.”
  • See → Sea: As in, “As far as the eye can sea,” and “Be the change you wish to sea in the world,” and “Can’t sea beyond the end of your nose,” and “Can’t sea the wood for the trees,” and “Come and sea me,” and “Sea no evil,” and “I call ’em as I sea ’em,” and “Long time no sea,” and “Monkey sea, monkey do,” and “I’m not sea-ing anyone,” and “Nowhere to be sea-n,” and “Sea eye to eye (or sea aye to aye might be more appropriate),” and “Sea the bigger picture,” and “Sea what the future has in store,” and “Sea-ing is believing,” and “I’ve sea-n better days,” and “Plant a sea-d.” Notes: If you can’t see the wood for the trees, then you’re unable to see the bigger picture because you’re too focused on the smaller details of the situation. 
  • She → Sea: As in, “By George, I think sea’s got it!” and “Every little thing sea does is magic,” and “I’ll have what sea’s having,” and “Steady as sea goes,” and “Thar sea blows.”
  • *see/cy* → *sea*: If a word has the “see” sound in it, we can use it to make nautical (naughty) pirate puns: “Absorben-sea (absorbency),”, “Accura-sea (accuracy),”, “Accountan-sea (accountancy),”, “Adequa-sea (adequacy),”, “Advoca-sea (advocacy),”, “Agen-sea (agency),”, “Ant-sea (antsy),”, “Aristocra-sea (aristocracy),”, “Beseach (beseech),”, “Sea-ge (seige),”, “Sea-d (seed),”, “Boun-sea (bouncy),”, “Candida-sea (candidacy),”, “Sea-dar (cedar),”, “Sea-ling (ceiling),”, “Competen-sea (competency),”, “Conseal (conceal),”, “Conseat (conceit),”, “Conspira-sea (conspiracy),”, “Curren-sea (currency),” and “Diploma-sea (diplomacy).”
  • Se* → Sea*: Some words that start with just “se” also have a “sea”-ish sound, and the ones that don’t can usually be made into terrible puns anyway: seacret, searious, seargeant, seacretion, seacure, seacurity, seacondary, seacretariat, seaconds, seacrete, searum, searenity, searvitude, seanile, seadation, seaclusion, seacretive, seaze, seaquential, sealection, seacretly, seaquences, seanior, seaniority, seagregate, seaping, seacession, seariousness, seaminars, seaveral, seaxual, seaparation, seantimental, seansational, seaquential, seacluded, seacularist, seathing, seaquin, seasame, seaclusion.
  • Seizure → Seazure: As in “If I read one more ocean pun I’m going to have a seazure.”
  • Scenic → Seanic: As in “Let’s take the seanic route.”
  • Ocean: As in, “A life on the ocean waves,” and “A drop in the ocean,” and “The motion of the ocean.” Note: a drop in the ocean is a tiny amount compared to what is actually needed. 
  • *o-shun* → *ocean*: We can make pirate puns using words that have the “o-shun” sound in them: “M-ocean (motion),”, “Em-ocean (emotion),”, “N-ocean (notion),”, “L-ocean (lotion),”, “Expl-ocean (explosion),”, “P-ocean (potion),”, “Comm-ocean (commotion),”, “Dem-ocean (demotion),”, “Dev-ocean (devotion),” and “Prom-ocean (promotion).” 
  • *wobb* → *swab*: As in, “Throw a swab-bly,” and “The colly-swabbles.” Notes: A swab is another term for mops used in cleaning ship decks. Swabbing is another word for mopping, or cleaning ship decks, and a swabber is someone who performs this task.  
  • Parrot: As in, “Sick as a parrot,” and “Parrot-fashion.” Notes: to do something in parrot-fashion means automatically or mechanically, without thought or real understanding. To be sick as a parrot is to be extremely ill or disappointed. 
  • *part → *parrot: As in, “A fool and his money are soon parroted,” and “It was good in some parrots,” and “I’ve been sad since the day we parroted,” and “If you’re not a parrot of the solution, you’re parrot of the problem,” and “Drift a-parrot,” and “Fall a-parrot,” and “No-one in parrot-icular,” and “House-warming parrot-y,” and “Get the parrot-y started,” and “Life of the parrot-y,” and “Parrot-ing of the ways,” and “Worlds a-parrot,” and “What parrot of ‘no’ don’t you understand?” 
  • Prepared → Pre-parrot: As in, “Chance favours the pre-parrot mind,” and “Here’s one I pre-parrot earlier,” and “Be pre-parrot.” 
  • Paradise→ Parrot-ise: As in, “A taste of parrot-ise,” and “Fool’s parrot-ise,” and “Trouble in parrot-ise.”
  • Carrot → Parrot: As in, “Parrot and stick.” Note: the carrot and stick are metaphors for using a mixture of reward and punishment to teach certain behaviours. 
  • *rot → *parrot: As in, “Parrot in hell,” and “Spoiled parrot-ten,” and “One parrot-ten apple can spoil the barrel,” and “Parrot-ten to the core.” Note: a rotten apple spoiling the barrel is a metaphor for one single bad influence (whether it be a person, belief, or personality trait) wrecking the entire thing or group. 
  • Sea → Sea dog: As in, “Between the devil and the deep blue sea dog,” and “Sun, sea dog and sand.” Note: a sea dog is someone who is experienced at sea. 
  • Gallery → Galley: As in, “A new art galley.” Note: Galleys have two meanings: a kitchen in a ship, or a type of ship.
  • Alley → Galley: As in, “Galley cat,” and “Right up your galley.”
  • Cannon: As in, “Cannon fodder,” and “Loose cannon.” Notes: Cannon fodder is a  derogatory term for soldiers who are regarded by government as expendable. A loose cannon is a person who is likely to cause unintentional damage.
  • Cannibal → Cannonball: As in, “Corporate cannonballism.” Note: corporate cannibalism is where a company is seemingly “eating into” its own market of established products. 
  • Tears → Privateers: As in, “Blood, sweat and privateers,” and “Bathed in privateers,” and “Crocodile privateers,” and “Fighting back the privateers,” and “It will all end in privateers,” and “No more privateers.” Notes: a privateer is someone who is privately hired to engage in maritime warfare.
  • Wonder → Plunder: As in, “Gutless plunder,” and “It’s a plunder-ful life,” and “Nine days’ plunder,” and “A small plunder,” and “Where plunders never cease,” and “A one-hit plunder.” Note: to plunder is to loot and steal.
  • *anker → *anchor: most words ending in “anker” can be anchor puns: banchor (banker), tanchor (tanker), flanchor (flanker), hanchor (flanker), spanchor (flanker), danchor (danker).
  • Map: As in, “Mind map,” and “On the map,” and “All over the map.”
  • Mop → Map: As in, “Map the floor with.” Note: to mop the floor with someone is to thoroughly defeat them. 
  • Offer → Coffer: As in, “Open to coffers,” and “A coffer you can’t refuse.” Note: a coffer is a chest for treasure. 
  • Cover → Coffer: As in, “Blow your coffer,” and “Coffer to coffer,” and “Extra coffer,” and “We’ve got you coffered,” and “A startling dis-coffer-y!” 
  • Hold: As in, “Can’t hold a candle to,” and “Don’t hold your breath,” and “Got a hold on the wrong end of the stick,” and “Hold a grudge,” and “Hold a mirror up to society,” and “Hold a torch for,” and “Hold all the cards,” and “Hold at bay,” and “Hold back on,” and “Hold it right there!” and “No holds barred,” and “A sight to behold,” and “Lo and behold.” Notes: if you can’t hold a candle to something or someone, then you are very lowly in comparison to them. If there are no holds barred, that means that anything goes in a situation. Lo and behold is an exclamation demanding that one’s attention be directed to a certain thing. 
  • Cock → Coxswain: As in, “Coxswain and bull story.” Note: a coxswain is someone in charge of the navigation and steering of a boat. 
  • Board → Starboard: As in, “All above starboard,” and “Across the starboard.” Note: starboard refers to the right-side orientation on a boat. 
  • Plank: As in, “Take a long walk off a short plank,” and “Walk the plank.” Note: walking the plank was a method of execution used by pirates. Victims were bound so they were unable to swim, then made to walk off a wooden plank into the ocean. 
  • Blank → Plank: As in, “A plank slate,” and “Plank canvas,” and “A plank look,” and “Drawing a plank,” and “Point plank range,” and “I’m planking out,” and “Fill in the plank,” and “Wet plank-et.” Note: a wet blanket is someone that dampens enjoyment or excitement. 
  • Thank → Plank: As in, “Accept with planks,” and “Give planks,” and “Plank god it’s Friday,” and “Plank you for the music,” and “Planks for nothing,” and “Plank your lucky stars,” and “Be plankful.”
  • Sword: As in, “Cross swords with,” and “A double-edged sword,” and “Fall on your sword,” and “Put to the sword,” and “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Notes: a double-edged sword is a thing that provides both benefits and disadvantages. To put someone to the sword is to execute them. To say that the pen is mightier than the sword is to express that the the media is more powerful than the military.  
  • Sort → Sword: As in, “Last re-sword,” and “I’m out of swords,” and “Sword the wheat from the chaff,” and “Sword yourself out,” and “Sword of.” Note: to sort the wheat from the chaff is to sort valuable things or people from those that aren’t needed. 
  • Word → S-word: As in, “A picture paints a thousand s-words,” and “A s-word to the wise,” and “Actions speak louder than s-words,” and “As good as your s-word,” and “Don’t mince s-words,” and “Famous last s-words,” and “Get a s-word in edgeways,” and “The last s-word.” Note: to not mince your words is to not be gentle in your communications – to use blunt and direct language. 
  • Barely → Parley: As in, “Parley there,” and “Parley noticeable.” Note: to parley is to have negotiations with an opposing side. 
  • Sure → Shore: As in “Are you shore?” and “She shore is strong!” and “I shore will.”
  • Shore: As in, “Ship to shore,” and “Shore up.” Note: to shore up is to support something by placing something under or against it. 
  • Not → Knot: As in “Tell me this is knot happening.” and “Knot on my watch.”
  • Not → Naut: As in “I’m naut going to keep arguing with you,” and “Last but naut least,” and “Fear naut!”
  • Naughty → Nauty: As in “There’s that nauty sailor again”.
  • Specific → Pacific: As in “You need to be more pacific.” and “Are you sure you have the pacifications for this?” and “Pacifically, there are two apples and three nectarines.”
  • Passivist → Pascificist: As in “I’m a pascificst. Violence is never the answer.”
  • *ways → *waves: Words than end in “ways” can be made into bad wave puns: alwaves (always), railwaves (railways), sidewaves, pathwaves, lengthwaves, doorwaves.
  • Wave: “Wave goodbye” and “Mexican wave” and “Heat wave” and “Wave the white flag” and “Brain waves“.
  • Cog*: As in, “Cogito ergo sum,” and “Just another cog in the machine.” Notes: cogito ergo sum is a philosophical expression meaning “I think, therefore I am.” A cog is a type of ship. 
  • Clog → Cog: As in, “Clever cogs,” and “Cog up,” and “Pop your cogs.” Notes: Clever clogs is a disapproving way of saying that someone is clever, but in an irritating way. To pop your clogs is to die. 
  • *cog*: As in, “Cognitive,” and “Cognition,” and “Incognito,” and “Recognise,” and “Recognition.” 
  • Sooner → Schooner: As in “Schooner or later.” and “I’ll call her schoon“. A “schooner” is a sailing ship with two or more masts.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • Fathom: A “fathom” is a unit of length equal to 6 feet (~1.8m) and is most commonly used in reference to the depth of water. Example sentences: “I can’t fathom what she means.” and “It’s completely unfathomable!”
  • Overboard: As in, “Man overboard!” and “This is going overboard.”
  • Tack → Hardtack: As in, “As sharp as a hardtack.” Note: hardtack is a type of hard biscuit/bread that was commonly eaten on voyages due to it being cheap and long-lasting. 
  • Kraken: As in, “Release the kraken!” Note: the kraken is a legendary sea monster that is popular in pirate stories and mythology. 
  • Cracking → Kraken: As in, “Get kraken!” 
  • Crack → Kraken: As in, “At the kraken of dawn,” and “Kraken a smile,” and “Have a kraken at it,” and “Snap, kraken, and pop.”
  • Afraid → Afeared: As in, “Afeared of your own shadow,” and “Afeared so,” and “Be afeared, be very afeared,” and “Everything you always wanted to know but were afeared to ask,”  and “I’m not afeared of death.” Note: “afeared” is a common bit of pirate lingo. 
  • Go out → Gout: As in, “Don’t gout of your way,” and “Gout on a limb,” and “Gout with a bang,” and “Gout like a light,” and “Good manners never gout of style,” and “I’d like to gout.” Notes: gout is a disease that commonly afflicted pirates due to their lifestyle. 
  • About → Agout: As in, “Agout time,” and “It’s not all agout you,” and “Beat agout the bush,” and “No two ways agout it,” and “Nothing to write home agout,” and “Out and agout.”
  • *goat* → *gout*: As in, “Scapegout,” and “Nice goutee.” Note: a scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the mistakes or wrongdoings of others. 
  • Got → Gout: As in, “I think you’ve gout it,” and “Cat gout your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve gout,” and “She’s gout a flair for,” and “I’ve gout a soft spot for,” and “Gout it down to a fine art,” and “Hasn’t gout two cents to rub together,” and “Have I gout news for you,” and “The one that gout away.” 
  • Bulge → Bilge: As in, “Battle of the bilge.” Note: a bilge is the underwater part of a ship. Also used as a dismissive term for anything determined to be nonsense or rubbish.
  • Spot → Black spot: As in, “A leopard cannot change its black spots,” and “Got a soft black spot for,” and “Hit the black spot,” and “In a tight black spot,” and “X marks the black spot.” Note: a black spot is a marker of death in the pirating world. 
  • Dinghy → Dingy: A “dinghy” is a small boat and it sounds a bit like the word “dingy” which has multiple slang definitions including “gloomy and drab”.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • *sk if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “sk” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “Before giving it to her, askiff she wants it.” and “We’ll be back by duskiff we can fix this motor.” Many more words fit this pattern: riskiff (risk if), deskiff (desk if), taskiff (task if), diskiff, maskiff, briskiff, flaskiff, kioskiff, baskiff, whiskif, muskiff.
  • *s if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “s” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “As skiff!” and “You sound as skiff you’re a bit sick?” and “Ask us skiff you need anything!” There are obviously thousands of words ending in “s” so you can create your own puns using this formula with the help of a list like this.
  • Y’all → Yawl: As in “How are yawl doing today?” A yawl is a type of sailboat.
  • Cuddle → S-cuttle: As in, “S-cuttle buddy,” and “Want to s-cuttle?” Note: to scuttle is to sink a ship. 

The following puns are based on popular fictional pirates.

  • Pearl → Black pearl: As in, “A string of black pearls,” and “Black pearls of wisdom.” Note: The Black Pearl is the ship in the first movie of the Pirates of the Carribean series. 
  • Jack → Jack Sparrow: As in, “All work and no play makes Jack Sparrow a dull boy,” and “Every Jack Sparrow has his Jill.” Note: Jack Sparrow is a fictional pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean series. 
  • Hook → Captain Hook: As in, “By Captain Hook or by crook,” and “Captain Hook, line, and sinker,” and “I’m Captain Hooked.”
  • One → One Piece:  As in, “All for One Piece and One Piece for all,” and “An army of One Piece,” and “And then there was One Piece,” and “Down it in One Piece.” Note: One Piece is a wildly popular manga about pirates. 
  • Fluffy → F-luffy: As in, “A f-luffy bunny.” Note: Luffy is the Captain of the Straw Hat pirates and the main protagonist from One Piece. 
  • Tsunami → Tsu-nami: As in, “Wreckage from the tsu-nami,” and “There’s a tsu-nami coming.” Note: Nami is the navigator for the Straw Hat pirates from One Piece. 
  • Gold → Gol D. Roger: As in, “After the Gol D rush,” and “All that glitters is not Gol D,” and “As good as Gol.D Roger,” and “Fool’s Gol D,” and “Get a Gol D star,” and “A heart of Gol D,” and “A Gol D mine.” Note: Gol.D Roger is the legendary Pirate King in One Piece. 
  • Straw → Straw Hat: As in, “A drowning man will clutch at a straw hat,” and “The last straw hat,” and “Draw the short straw hat.” 

Pirate-Related Words

To help you come up with your own pirate puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. We’ve split these words up into categories to make it easier to read and use. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: pirate, crew, rum, booty, treasure, pieces of eight, doubloon, loot, bounty, grog, tankard, boatswain, swashbuckle/swashbuckler, hook, pegleg, eyepatch, skull and crossbones, jolly roger, buccaneer, cutlass, mutiny, ship, deck, brig, flog, sea, blunderbuss, davy jones’ locker, jack, black spot, gout, hardtack, privateer, plunder, pillage, coffer, swab/swabber, scallywag, rapscallion, scuttle, sea dog, captain, ocean, boat, first mate, swab, hold, map, telescope, parrot, anchor, poop deck, bilge, coxswain, starboard, plank, sail, wreck, chest, scurvy, galley, cannon, marooned, hornswaggle, parley, shore, harbour, pier, nautical, clipper, cog, galleon, long boat, schooner, sloop, fathom, port, overboard, kraken

Lingo: arr, aye aye, ahoy, matey, avast ye, hearty, me hearties, shiver me timbers, landlubber, thar she blows, yo ho ho, cap’n, afeared, lily-livered, bilge rat

Fictional: black pearl, pirates of the carribean, jack sparrow, elizabeth swann, bluebeard, captain hook, flying dutchman,  one piece, luffy, nami, sanji, zoro, usopp, gol.d roger, straw hat pirates, tony chopper, nico robin, franky, brook, jimbei, captain feathersword

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