Nut Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on nut puns! 🌰 🥜 🔥

There are plenty of different types of nuts to make puns from, and we’ve done our best to cover them all here. There are different categories of seeds, fruit and legumes that are commonly recognised as nuts (like peanuts and almonds), so we’ve included those here too, along with other foods that are more versatile (like the coconut, which is considered a fruit, nut, and a seed).

Whether you’re here for some cheeky inneundos or a clever hashtag for your new vegan #nutbutter recipe, we hope to have you covered here. This list is specific to nuts – if you’re after related puns, we do also have general food puns, tree puns and fruit puns too.

A quick note that while puns about mental health and well-being are very common in nut puns (eg. “Nutty as a fruitcake”), we haven’t included those here as they are ableist slurs, and we’d like to keep Punpedia friendly to as many people as possible 🙂

Nut Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about nuts that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of nut puns:

  • Not → Nut: As in, “As often as nut” and “Believe it or nut” and “Down, but nut out” and “Nut at all” and “Nut bad” and “Nut in the slightest” and “Nut on your life.”
  • Nought → Nut: As in, “Nuts and crosses” and “All for nut!”
  • Knot → Nut: As in, “Don’t get your knickers in a nut” and “Tie the nut” and “Tie yourself in nuts.”
  • Night → Nut: As in, “Burn the midnut oil” and “Good nut and good luck” and “In the air tonut” and “Morning, noon and nut.”
  • *nat* → *nut*: As in, “Well, nuturally” and “The nutional anthem” and “Any alternutives?” and “Need your signuture here” and “That resonuted with me.”
  • *net* → *nut*: As in, “Social nutwork” and “Nutworking event” and “Fast internut” and “A penutrating glare.” Other words you could use: Other wrods you could use: planut (planet), bonnut (bonnet) and cabinut (cabinut).
  • *nit* → *nut*: As in, “Cognutive therapy” and “Computer monutor” and “Golden opportunuty” and “A tight-knit communuty” and An affinuty for…” Other words you could use: dignuty (dignity) and furnuture (furniture).
  • *not* → *nut*: As in, “Nutwithstanding…” and “Take nutice of” and “Turn it up a nutch” and “Nutorious for” and “Nuthing to worry about” and “I cannut understand you.”
  • *nut*: With these words, we can simply emphasise the “nut” that they already contain: “Plant-based nutrition” and “Packed with nutrients” and “In a nutshell” and “That old chestnut” and “Wait a minute!”
  • Nut: These nut-related phrases that could double as puns in right context: “Sweet as a nut” and “From soup to nuts” and “Go nuts” and “A tough nut to crack.”
  • Pea → Peanut: As in, “As alike as two peanuts in a pod” and “Easy as shelling peanuts.”
  • Pina Colada → Peanut Colada
  • Peanuts: These peanut-related phrases are general enough to be used as puns: “Pay peanuts and get monkeys” and “Working for peanuts.”
  • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
  • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
  • Nut → Chestnut: As in, “As sweet as a chestnut” and “From soup to chestnuts” and “Go chestnuts” and “In a chestnutshell” and “A tough chestnut to crack.” Note: this would also work for any other nut that has “nut” in its name, like brazil nut, peanut, hazelnut, walnut, candlenut, butternut and heartnut.
  • Catch you → Cashew: As in, “Careful, you don’t want them to cashew!” and “I’ll cashew later” and “They’ll cashew out” and “I’m gonna cashew!”
  • Cash you → Cashew: As in, “I’ll cashew in.”
  • Achoo → Cashew (this one is a bit of a stretch, yes, but can work with enough dedication and acting prowess)
  • Shoes → Cashews: As in, “Goody two cashews” and “Kick off your cashews.”
  • Peeking → Pecan: As in, “No pecan!” and “Pecan out through the window.”
  • Piquing → Pecan: As in, “It’s pecan my curiosity.” Note: to be piqued is to be interested.
  • Well, not → Walnut: As in, “Walnut like that” and “Walnut in so many words.”
  • Will not → Walnut: As in, “I walnut.” and “Flattery walnut get you anywhere” and “You cannot, or walnut?”
  • Wall → Walnut: As in, “Like banging your head against a brick walnut” and “Bouncing off the walnuts” and “I’ve hit a walnut” and “The writing is on the walnut” and “You’re driving me up the walnut!”
  • Pine Nut: Pine nuts (aka pinon) are edible pine seeds. Here are some pine-related puns and phrases:
    • Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine” and “Doubled up in pine” and “Growing pines” and “No pine, no gain” and “Old aches and pines” and “A pine in the butt” and “Pinefully slow” and “Being a royal pine” and “At pines to [do something].”
    • Windowpane → Windowpine
    • Pan → Pine: As in, “It didn’t pine out” and “Out of the frying pine, into the fire.”
    • Pin → Pine: As in, “Bright as a new pine” and ” and “Hard to pine down” and “Pines and needles” and “Pine your hopes on” and “Pull the pine.”
    • *pan* → *pine*: As in, “In a pine-nic (panic)” and “Caught with your pine-ts down” and “Marizipine (marzipan – a sugar almond paste) flavoured” and “In good compine-ny” and “Expine-ding your business.” Other words that could work: rampine-t (rampant), pineache (panache), discrepinecy (discrepancy) and pine-nel (panel). Notes: if something is rampant, then it’s unrestrained. To do something with panache is to do it with style.
    • *pen* → *pine*: As in, “A pine-chant for” and “A pine-sive expression” and “Order pine-ding” and “Are the shops opine (open)?” and “How could this happine?” and “Dampined spirits” and “A deepine-ing relationship” and “Waiting for the fruit to ripine” and “Read the appinedix” and “An indepinedent spirit.” Other words that could work: indispinesable (indispensable), depinedent (dependent), propinesity (propensity), sharpine (sharpen), pineance (penance), pine-etrate (penetrate), pineinsula (peninsula) and pine-is (penis).
    • *pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pine-k” and “The pine-acle of your career” and “In a pine-ch” and “Stop confusing hate speech with opine-ions” and “Pine-point the problem” and “Let’s grab a pine-t” and “Pineapple flavoured” and “Go for a spine” and “Dizzying happine-ness.”
    • *pon* → *pine*: As in, “In correspinedence with” and “It’s your respinesibility” and “A spinetaneous trip.”
    • *pain* → *pine*: As in, “Needs a lick of pine-t” and “Acrylic pineting” and “A pinestaking effort” and “Heartbreak is pineful” and “Taking pinekillers.”
    • *poin* → *pine*: As in, “On pine-t” and “Your pineter finger” and “A pineted look” and “What a pinetless effort” and “Doctor’s appinetment” and “I’m not mad, just disappineted” and “I see your viewpinet.”
    • Campaign → Campine
  • Candle → Candlenut: As in, “Can’t hold a candlenut to” and “A candlenut in the wind” and “Burning the candlenut at both ends.”
  • Kola nuts: Kola nuts are a type of caffeine-containing nut. Here are some related puns and phrases:
    • Cold → Kola: As in, “Break out in a kola sweat” and “Catch a kola” and “A kola comfort” and “A kola day in hell” and “Getting kola feet” and “The kola light of day” and “The kola shoulder” and “In kola blood” and “Left out in the kola” and “Pour kola water on” and “Stone kola sober” and “Take a kola hard look at” and “Running hot and kola.”
    • Kaleidoscope → Koladoscope
    • *kele* → *kola*: As in, “A skolatal look” and “Skolatons in the closet.”
    • Ukulele → Ukolale
    • Alkaline → Alkolane
    • Kilo* → Kola*: As in, kolametre (kilometre), kolagram (kilogram), kolabyte (kilobyte) and kolawatt (kilowatt).
    • *cala* → *kola*: As in, “Kolamity and disaster” and “Don’t let it eskolate” and “Up the eskolator.”
    • *cola* → *kola*: As in, “Pina kolada” and “Dark chokolate” and “Perkolated coffee.” Other words you could use: akolade (accolade) and kolander (colander). Note: an accolade is an award or acknowledgement.
    • *cula* → *kola*: As in, “Artikolate yourself clearly” and “A sekolar education” and “Broaden your vernakolar” and “Nothing in pertikolar” and “A spectakolar display” and “Not worth spekolating over” and “An immakolate clean.” Notes: if something is secular, then it is not religious. Vernacular refers to everyday language or speech.
    • Calendar → Kolandar: As in, “Let me check my kolandar.”
    • *cole* → *kola*: kolaslaw (coleslaw) and narkolapsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a type of sleep disorder.
    • *cali* → *kola*: As in, “Kolafornia dreaming” and “Kolabrate (calibrate) your thinking” and “A different lokolaty (locality).”
    • Broccoli → Brokola
    • Culinary → Kolanary: As in, “A kolanary delight.”
    • Calo* → Kola*: As in, “Counting kolaries” and “Kolaric information.”
    • *colo* → *kola*: As in, “In full kolar” and “Ant kolany” and “A kolassal surprise” and “A kolarful life.” Other words you can use: ekolagy (ecology), kolanial (colonial), kolanel (colonel).
    • *culo* → *kola*: As in, metikolas (meticulous), ridikolas (ridiculous) and mirakolas (miraculous).
    • *colu* → *kola*: As in, “Newspaper kolamn” and “Advice kolamnist.” Other words you could use: Kolambia (Columbia) and Kolambine (Columbine).
    • *culu* → *kola*: As in, “School currikolam” and “Mental calkolas (calculas).”
  • Palm: We can make joking references to palm nuts with the following puns and phrases:
    • Balm → Palm: As in, “Strawberry-flavoured lip palm.”
    • Calm → Palm: As in, “Palm down” and “A palming agent” and “Palm waters.”
    • *pam* → *palm*: As in, “Activitst palmphlets” and “A bit of love and palmpering” and “Feeling palmpered” and “Dopalmine levels.”
    • *pom* → *palm*: As in, “A palmpous attitude” and “Palmegranate flavoured” and “Hair palmade” and “Palmeolo (pomelo) tree” and “Anthropalmorphic characters.” Note: pomade is a type of styling gel/paste.
    • *pum* → *palm*: As in, “Palmpkin pie” and “Under the palmp” and “Palmping for information” and “Palmice stone” and “Palmpernickel bread.”
    • *bam* → *palm*: As in, “Palmboo forest” and “You’ve been palmboozled!”
    • *bom* → *palm*: As in, “An apalmination of nature” and “The apalminable snowman.”
    • Bumblebee → Palmblebee
  • Betel: Betel is the colloquial name for areca nuts, which are a type of palm nut. Here are some related puns:
    • Better → Betel: “I feel betel now” and “Anything you can do, I can do betel” and “Appealing to your betel judgement” and “My betel half” and “Betel late than never” and “Betel luck next time” and “Betel safe than sorry” and “Betel than new” and “Betel than sex” and “Betel the devil you know” and “Changing for the betel” and “I couldn’t have said it betel” and “Kiss it betel” and “Should have known betel.”
    • Battle → Betel: As in, “A betel of wits” and “Betel ready” and “Betel royal” adn “Half the betel” and “In the heat of betel” and “Gave betel in vain” and “A betel of wills” and “Beteling against” and “Fight your own betels” and “Won the betel but lost the war.”
    • Petal → Betel
    • Settle → Betel: As in, “A score to betel” and “Betel out of court” and “After the dust has beteled” and “Betel down.”
  • Butter → Butternut: As in, “Bread and butternut” and “Butternut fingers” and “Butternut wouldn’t melt in their mouth” and “Float like a butternut, sting like a bee.”
  • Heart → Heartnut: As in, “A man after my own heartnut” and “Absence makes the heartnut grow fonder” and “An affair of the heartnut” and “After your own heartnut” and “Be still my beating heartnut” and “Break your heartnut” and “A change of heartnut” and “Do it by heartnut” and “Cross my heartnut and hope to die” and “Eat your heartnut out” and “Follow your heartnut” and “From the bottom of my heartnut” and “Get to the heartnut of the matter” and “Got your heartnut set on” and “Harden your heartnut against” and “Have a heartnut.”
  • Bunya: These are nuts that grow on bunya pines. Here are some related puns:
    • On ya/on your → Bunya: As in, “Bunya bike” and “Bunya wedding day” and “Not bunya life.”
    • Bun → Bunya: As in, “Bunya in the oven” and “We’re going to need bigger bunyas” and “Hot cross bunyas.”
  • Corn* → Acorn*: As in, “Acorner the market” and “Acornflower blue” and “The naughty acorner” and “Just around the acorner” and “Cut acorners.”
  • Fruit: Nuts are actually considered to be fruits, so we’ve got some fruit-related puns here for you:
    • *fut* → *fruit*: As in, “Think about your fruiture” and “Resistance is fruitile!” and “A fruituristic building” and “Sleeping on the fruiton” and “An irrefruitable argument.” Other words that could work: refruit (refute) and fruitility (fruitility).
    • Frat* → Fruit*: As in, “Fruiternity house” and “Fruiternal twins” and “Fruiternising with the enemy.”
    • Fret* → Fruit*: Fruitting (fretting), fruitwork (fretwork) and fruitful (fretful). Note: fretwork is a type of ornamental carving. This could work especially well for making puns about carved fruit decorations that are on cakes (very specific, we know).
    • Fruit: We’ll finish this little section off with some fruit-related phrases that could double as puns: “Be fruitful and multiply” and “Bear fruit” and “Forbidden fruit” and “Fruits of your labour” and “Low hanging fruit” and “The fruit doesn’t fall far from the tree.”
  • Shell: Nuts are composed of a seed within a shell, so we’ve included some shell-related puns too:
    • Celebration→ Shellebration: As in “After finishing we should have a shellebration.”
    • Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish (selfish).
    • *sel → *shell: Words ending in “sel” can often be punned upon with “shell”: vesshell (vessel), tasshell (tassel), weashell (weasel), musshell (mussel), etc.
    • *sel* → *shell*: Words containing “sel” can yeild nice puns on “shell”: Hershellf, himshellf, themshellves, itshellf, myshellf, yourshelf, yourshelves, convershelly, counshelling, preshellected, overshelling, undershelling, ushellessely, weashelling.
    • Shall→ Shell: As in “Shell I compare thee to a summer’s day?” and “He who lives by the sword shell die by the sword.”
    • *cial → *shell: When a word has “cial” as a suffix, this suffix can usually be swapped out for “shell” to create a shell pun: soshell (social), speshell (special), offishell (official), finanshell, commershell, crushell, judishell, artifishell, provinshell, rashell, benefishell, superfishell, fashell, glashell, sacrifishel, antisoshell.
    • Sell → Shell: “How many do we have left to shell?”
    • Hell → Shell: “The party last night was a shell of a time.”
  • Seed: Nuts are also considered to be seeds, so we’ve got some seed-related puns here for you:
    • *sid* → *seed*: As in, “A walk on the wild seed,” and “It’s inseedious (insidious),” and “That, and more beseeds (besides),” and “Where are the reseedents (residents)?” and “All things conseedered (considered),” and “Always look on the bright seed of life,” and “Batting for the other seed,” and “Be on the safe seed,” and “Born on the wrong seed of the tracks,” and “Cross over to the other seed,” and “Err on the safe seed,” and “The flip seed,” and “Inseed information,” and “An inseed joke,” and “Inseed out,” and “A kick up the backseed,” and “On the plus seed,” and “On the downseed,” and “All kidding aseed,” and “Fall by the wayseed,” and “A ringseed seat,” and “Take it outseed,” and “Turn upseed down,” and “Think outseed the box.”
    • Seed: As in, “Gone to seed,” and “Seed capital,” and “Seed money,” and “Plant a seed.”
    • *cid* → *seed*: As in, coinseed (coincide), deseed (decide), fanseed (fancied), germiseed (germicide), and pestiseed (pesticide).
    • *ced* → *seed*: As in, seedar (cedar), conseed (concede), preseed (precede), superseed (supercede), preseedent (precendent). Notes: to supercede is to replace. A precedent is an established guide or principle. 
    • *ceed → *seed: As in, proseed, sucseed, exseed
  • Can all → Kernel: As in, “You kernel get lost.”
  • Butter: Since it’s very common to make butters out of nuts (almond butter, peanut butter, cashew butter etc), we’ve included butter in this list as well:
    • Barter → Butter: As in, “Trade and butter economy.”
    • Better → Butter: As in, “I’ve got a butter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do butter” and “Appealing to your butter judgement” and “My butter half” and “Butter late than never” and “Butter luck next time” and “Butter safe than sorry” and “Butter than sex” and “Butter than new” and “I’ve changed for the butter” and “I couldn’t have said it butter” and “For butter or worse” and “Get the butter of” and “I should have known butter.”
    • But her → Butter: As in, “Butter suitcase! It’s been left behind!” (a very specific pun)
    • Patter → Butter: As in, “The pitter butter of little feet.”
    • But → Butter: As in, “Butter seriously” and “Butter heads” and “Butter out” and “Down, butter not out” and “Everything butter the kitchen sink” and “Kick butter” and “No butters” and “Last butter not least” and “Gone, butter not forgotten.”
    • Potter → Butter: As in, “Harry Butter” and “Buttering about.”
  • Oil: Nut oil is also a very common product, so we’ve included oil-related puns and phrases:
    • I’ll → Oil: As in, “Well, oil be” and “Oil say!” and “Ask me no questions, oil tell you no lies” and “Oil be back” and “Oil never tell” and “You scratch my back and oil scratch yours.”
    • All → Oil: As in “Can’t we oil just get along?” and “Oil in a day’s work.” and “Oil part of life’s rich tapestry” and “It’s oil Greek to me.” and “It’s oil downhill form here” and “It’s oil fun and games until someone gets hurt” and “It’s oil gone pear shaped” and “It’s oil good” and “It’s oil good clean fun” and “It’s oil me me me” and “That’s oil well and good, but …” and “Oil kidding aside, …” and “Above oil, …” and “Against oil odds” and “Oil shapes and sizes” and “Oil that glitters is not gold” and “Oil the rage” and “Oil the world’s a stage” and “Oil things being equal” and “Oil thumbs” and “Oil’s well that ends well” and “At oil costs” and “By oil appearances” and “By oil accounts” and “Cover oil your bases” and “From oil corners of the globe” and “I haven’t got oil day” and “In oil honesty” and “In oil likelihood” and “It’s oil the same to me” and “Jack of oil trades” and “I don’t know oil the answers” and “Not oil it’s cracked up to be” and “He’s not oil there” and “Once and for oil” and “Don’t put oil your eggs in one basket” – And there are many more oil puns that can be made along these lines.
    • Aisle → Oil: As in, “Walk down the oil” and “Cleanup on oil three.”
    • *oil*: Words which contain the “oil” sound (or similar) can be silly oil puns: spoiled, spoils, soiled, turmoil, toiletries, gargoil (gargoyle), foil, recoil.
  • Raw: We have some puns to emphasise and joke about raw nuts:
    • Roar → Raw: As in, “A rawing trade” and “The mighty lion raws.”
    • Rew* → Raw*: As in, “Your eternal raward” and “An essay rawrite” and “A rawarding career.”
    • Periwinkle → Perawinkle (note: periwinkle is a shade of bluish purple).
    • Row* → Raw*: As in, rawdy (rowdy), rawing (rowing) and rawboat (rowboat).
    • *rar* → *raw*: As in, “It rawly (rarely) happens” and “A true rawity (rarity)” and “Arbitrawy decisions” and “Contemporawry art” and “Holiday itinerawry” and “From the librawry.” Other words you could use: contrawry (contrary) and registraw (registrar).
    • *rer* → *raw*: As in, bearaw (bearer), sorceraw (sorcerer), exploraw (explorer), manufacturaw (manufacturer), labouraw (labourer), lecturaw (lecturer), wanderaw (wanderer) and treasuraw (treasurer).
    • *ror* → *raw*: As in, “Look in the mirraw” and “A holy terraw” and “The emperaw‘s new clothes” and “Margin of erraw (error)” and “A mask of horraw” and “Aurawra borealis.”
    • *rau* → *raw*: As in, “A rawcous (raucous) party” and “Rawnchy videos” and “Frawt (fraught) with danger” and “Arrested for frawd” and “Feeling distrawt (distraught).” Other words you could use: trawma (trauma), hydrawlic (hydraulic), frawdulent (fraudulent) and marawder (marauder).
    • *raw*: With these puns, you can simply emphasise the “raw” in certain words: draw, withdraw, straw, redraw, drawer, crawl, withdrawal, brawl and drawn.
    • Round* → Rawnd*: As in, “Rawnd and rawnd” and “In a rawndabout way.”
  • Roast: So we can make puns about roasted nuts, we have some roast-related puns here for you:
    • Rest → Roast: As in, “At roast,” and “Come to roast,” and “A cut above the roast,” and “Eternal roast,” and “For the roast of us,” and “For the roast of your life,” and “Give it a roast,” and “I roast my case,” and “Laid to roast,” and “No roast for the wicked” and “Roast assured,” and “The roast is history,” and “You’ve seen the roast.”
    • Arrest → A roast: As in “You are under a roast.” and “He was charged with resisting a roast.” and “Citizen’s a roast.”
    • *rest → *roast: As in, “In the interoast of justice,” and “Make it interoasting,” and “Nearoast and dearoast,” and “Mud wroastling,” and “On the croast of a wave,” and “Imitation is the sinceroast form of flattery,” and “May you live in interoasting times.”
    • *rust* → *roast*: As in, “Roastle (rustle) up,” and “Upper croast (crust),” and “Don’t troast (trust) anyone,” and “Troast is a two-way street.”
  • Allegory → Allergy: As in, “A political allergy.”

Nut-Related Words

To help you come up with your own nut puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

types: nut, peanut, almond, chestnut, brazil, hazelnut, macadamia, cashew, acorn, almond, pecan, pistachio, walnut, pine, candlenut, kola, palm, betel, coconut, butternut, heartnut, gingko, bunya, soybean

general: fruit, shell, seed, kernel, butter, oil, raw, roasted, snack, allergy, hickory

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Vegetable Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on vegetable puns, salad puns and related topics! 🍅🍆🌽🍄 Whether you’re looking for a name for your veggie patch, in a veg pun battle with your friend, trying to come up with some cute vegetable pickup lines, or just want to stock up on some vegetable word play for future use, I hope this entry serves you well.

As well as covering leafy vegetables (lettuce, cabbage, kale), roots, legumes and other vegetable-like foods are covered too, so you’ll see some potato puns, corn puns, onion puns, pumpkin puns, and all sorts of others based around those general topics.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food puns, fruit puns, cooking puns, corn puns and potato puns.

Vegetable Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of veggie puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about vegetables that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Call → Kale: As in “Above and beyond the kale of duty.” and “His authenticity was kaled into question.” and “Kale it quits.” and “Kale the shots.” and “Kale of the wild.” and “Kale to action.” and “A judgement kale.” and “That was a close kale.” and “Wake-up kale“.
  • Gale → Kale: As in “It’s blowing a kale out here!” and “I slept well despite the howling kales outside.”
  • Keel → Kale: As in “Keep an even kale.” and “A yacht’s kale keeps it upright.”
  • Solid → Salad: As in “Salad gold.” and “As salad as rock.” and “Rock salad.” and “Make sure you’ve built a salad foundation.”
  • Sullied → Salad: To be “sullied” is to be defiled, tainted, stained or spoiled. Example: “The politician’s good name was salad by the media after the allegations were confirmed.” This one’s is a bit of a stretch!
  • Salah → Salad: The term “salah” describes the act of worship (5 times a day) in the Islamic religion. Example: “Salad is recommended 5 times a day.”
  • Salary → Celery: As in “I didn’t take the job. The celery was too low.”
  • Leak → Leek: As in “The information was leeked and a huge media storm erupted.” and “I’m just going to take a leek.” and “Be careful with that shopping bag! There’s a leek in it.” and “The dam sprung a leek.”
  • Leg → Leek: As in “It cost me an arm and a leek.” and “Shake a leek!” and “Without a leek to stand on” and “Haha just pulling your leek :)”
  • Lick → Leek: As in “Leek your lips.” and “Stand up for yourself. Don’t leek his boots.” and “Leek your wounds.”
  • Parcel → Parsley: As in “Let’s play pass the parsley!”
  • Leg room → Legume: As in “I always pay a little extra for the aeroplane seats with more legume.”
  • Choke → Artichoke: This is a corny one: “I almost artichoked on my food when she told me.” and “She was artichoked by emotion as she gave her speech at the funeral.”
  • Bumpkin → Pumpkin: As in “I’m a bit of a country pumpkin, but I’m getting used to the city.”
  • Heard → Herb: As in “I herb it on the grape vine.” and “You herb it here first.” and “You could have herb a pin drop.”
  • Curb → Herb: As in “Herb your enthusiasm.” and “Drive up onto the herb.”
  • *erb* → *herb*: If a word contains the “herb” sound (or similar) a cringe-worthy herb pun can sometimes be made: advherb, distherbance, distherbingly, exacherbate, aftherburner, countherbalance, hypherbole, knickherbockers, mastherbate, nonvherbal, refherbishment, rivherbankherbanization, vherbalize.
  • Plant: This can also mean “place in a fixed or specified position”, and “a place where an industrial or manufacturing process takes place”. Examples: “She planted herself squarely in front of him” and “The new automobile manufacturing plant is the biggest in the country.”
  • Planned → Plant: As in “I had plant to get there by 8pm” and “Do you have anything plant?”
  • Bland → Plant: As in “The hospital food was flavourless and plant as usual.” and “He gave a weak, plant smile.” and “It tastes a little plant. More herbs?”
  • Let us → Lettuce: As in “Lettuce eat!” and “Lettuce celebrate!”
  • Led us → Lettuce: As in “You’ve lettuce down the wrong path!” and “But it lettuce to the wrong conclusion.”
  • It’s/Its → Oat’s/Oats: As in “Oat’s about time!” and “Look at oats cute little face!”
  • Maze → Maize: As in “It’s a complicated maize to navigate.”
  • Mace → Maize: Another term for “pepper spray” is “mace”. It can also refer to a medieval spiked club weapon.
  •  Amazing→ Amaizing: As in “Truely amaizing.” and “Amaizing Grace.” and “I’m amaized!” and “To my utter amaizement …” (Maize is another name for corn)
  • *mise → *maize: As in, minimaize (minimise), surmaize (surmise), victimaize (victimise), compromaize (compromise), customaize (customise), maximaize (maximise).
  • Baggage → Cabbage: This one is lovely and corny: “I’m carrying around a lot of emotional cabbage.” or “Please place personal items in the overhead cabbage compartment.”
  • Until → Lentil: As in “It ain’t over lentil it’s over!” and “It’s all fun and games lentil someone gets hurt.”
  • Care at → Carrot: As in “I don’t carrot all.”
  • Not re-enter → Nutrient-er: As in “You should nutrient-er the discussion after that terrible contribution.”
  • Beat → Beet: As in “Let’s not beet around the bush.” and “If you leave now, you’ll beet the rush.” and “Can you hear my heartbeet?” and “You deserve a beeting for that.” and “Damn, these are some fine beets you’re playing!” and “There’s always deadbeets hanging around that park at night.” and “He’s not crazy – just a little offbeet.” and “We pride ourselves in our unbeetable service.” and “I’m feeling fairly upbeet today :)” and “Diabeetes is a pun, but it’s insensitive.”
  • Between → Beetween: As in “Beetween you and me …” and “With your tail beetween your legs.” and “Read beetween the lines.” and “Beetween a rock and a hard place.”
  • Bead → Beet: As in “Tiny round beets are dangerous for children.”
  • Repeat → Rebeet: As in “I’m not going to rebeet myself.” and “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to rebeet it.” and “I warned him rebeetedly.”
  • Pizza → Beet-za: As in “I always buy my beetzas from the same beetzaria.”
  • *pit* → *beet*: If a word contains the “pit” sound, a terrible beet pun can sometimes be made: cabeetal city, hosbeetalisation, palbeetations, abeetizing, precibeetation, serendibeetous, inhosbeetable.
  • Pete → Beet: As in “His name is beet.”
  • Peed → Beet: This one is a stretch: “I laughed so hard I nearly beet my pants.”
  • Corny: As in “Very corny vegetable puns”
  • Con* → Corn*: Very corny corn puns can be made with some words that start with the “con” sound (or similar): corntract, corncern, corntain, cornference, corntext, corncerned, corntrast, cornfidence, corndition, corntinue, cornsider, corntry, cornclusion, cornduct, cornversation, cornstruction, cornflict, corntribution, cornsent, cornsist, cornclude, cornservation, corntest, cornception, cornsequences, corsult, corncert, cornventional, corncrete, corntinent, cornfine, cornsistantly, cornstitutional, cornvey, cornsiderably, cornsitituent, corntempt, corncede, cornfess, cornfrontation, corngregation, corntroversial, cornsensus, cornsultancy, cornquest, cornvicted, corngratulate. See this list for more.
  • Have a car though → Avocado: As in “I don’t ‘avocado.”
  • Her before → Herbivore: As in “I met herbivore at the gym.”
  • Turn up → Turnip: As in “Turnip the music!” and “It’ll turnip somewhere.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena). Note: a subpoena is a witness summon.
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Deal → Dill: As in “What’s the big dill?” and “I’m kind of a big dill around here.” (“Dill” is a herb, and is often short for dill-pickle – a cucumber that has been preserved and given the flavour of the dill herb)
  • Pickle: “We’re in a bit of a pickle here.”
  • Much room → Mushroom: “It’s only a little elevator, there isn’t mushroom in here.”
  • Wheat: As in, “Separate the wheat from the chaff.” Note: to separate the wheat from the chaff is to separate the valuable from the worthless.
  • Wait → Wheat: As in “Wheat a second…” and “I am lying in wheat.”
  • White → Wheat: As in, “A wheater shade of pale,” and “A wheat knight,” and “Wheat as a ghost,” and “Wheat as a sheet,” and “Great wheat shark,” and “Like wheat on rice,” and “Little wheat lie,” and “Men in wheat coats,” and “Not everything is black and wheat,” and “Wheat water rafting.” Note: like white on rice refers to a very close situation.
  • Sweet → Swheat: As in, “Home swheat home,” and “Swheat dreams,” and “Swheat nothings,” and “A swheat tooth,” and “Swheaten the pot,” and “Swheaten the deal,” and “Swheatheart,” and “Take the bitter with the swheat,” and “Short but swheat.”
  • Sweat → Swheat: As in, “Blood, swheat and tears,” and “Beads of swheat,” and “Break out in a cold swheat,” and “Don’t swheat it,” and “Running with swheat,” and “My new swheater,” and “Swheating bullets,” and “Swheat it out.”
  • Weight → Wheat: As in, “Pull your wheat,” and “Punching above your wheat,” and “Throw your wheat around,” and “Watch your wheat,” and “A wheat off my mind,” and “Worth your wheat in gold,” and “A dead wheat.”
  • *ate* → *wheat*: As in, evacu-wheat (evacuate), fluctu-wheat (fluctuate), and gradu-wheat (graduate).
  • What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
  • We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
  • We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
  • Please → Peas: As in “Do as you peas.” and “Pretty peas?”
  • Pee → Pea: As in “Brb, really need to pea.”
  • Peace → Peas: As in “World peas.” and “Inner peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Rest in peas.” and “War and Peas” and “Keep the peas” and “Peas be with you”
  • Piece → Peas: As in “Peas by peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Peas of cake” and “Real peas of work” and “Peas of pie” and “Real peas of work” and “Speak your peas” and “How long is a peas of string?”
  • *peas*: There are a few words with the “peas” sound in them: centerpeas (centerpiece), earpeas (earpiece), Greenpeas (Greenpeace), masterpeas (masterpiece), mouthpeas (mouthpiece), peasfully, peaskeepers, peastime, Peasa (Pisa), timepeas (timepiece).
  • *pea*: If a word contains the “pea” sound, you can make a terrible pea pun by adjusting the spelling and emphasising the “pea” part: appealing, appease, bumpea (bumpy), centipeade, champeaon, champeaonship, compeate, copearight (copyright), creepea (creepy), dopea (dopey), encyclopeadia, entropea, escapea, espeaonage, Ethiopean, Europeaan, expeadient, frumpea, grumpea, hippea, happea, happeaest, homosapean, impead, loudspeaker, peacock, peafowl, peak, peadiatric, peanalize, philipeano, peano (piano), peaqued, recipeas, recipeantsm repeal, repeat, scorpeaon, speacies, peaple (people), speach, speaker, speachless, therapea.
  • Snap a piece → Snap a peas: This plays on “snap peas” – a very common type of pea: “Can you snap a peas off for me peas (please)?”
  • Remain → Romaine: “Romaine” is a type of lettuce. Examples: “Everyone romaine calm.” and “It romaines to be seen.”
  • To my toes → Tomatoes: As in “I got a shiver from my head tomatoes.”
  • Tomorrow → Tomato: As in “Here today, gone tomato.”
  • Tube of → Tuber: As in “Can I please purchase a tuber hand cream?”
  • All up in your → Jalapeño: As in “Jalapeño business.” and “Jalapeño grill.”
  • Serial → Cereal: As in “There’s a cereal killer on the loose.”
  • Surreal → Cereal: As in “The view from the summit was cereal.” and “I love impressionism and cereal art.”
  • Grain: As in “I’m going to go against the grain here and say …” and “There’s a grain of truth in what he’s saying.” and “I’d take it with a grain of salt.”
  • Grainy: Other than referring to grain (the crop food, of course), this can refer to a texture or to a low resolution photograph: “Your profile picture is a bit grainy.”
  • Ingrained: As in “It was ingrained in me from a young age.”
  • Again → A grain: As in “Come a grain?” and “Never a grain.” and “Time and time a grain.” and “Now and a grain.”
  • Rain → Grain: As in, “Right as grain,” and “Chasing grainbows,” and “Come grain or shine,” and “Grain on my parade,” and “Make it grain,” and “Graindrops keep falling on my head,” and “Graining cats and dogs,” and “Singin’ in the grain,” and “Somewhere over the grainbow,” and “Spitting with grain.” Notes: to chase rainbows is to go after unrealistic things. To rain on someone’s parade is to ruin a happy moment for them.
  • Grey → Grain: As in, “Fifty shades of grain,” and “A grain area,” and “Grain is the new black,” and “Grain matter,” and “Shades of grain.” Note: shades of grey refers to the complexity of a situation.
  • Brain → Grain: As in, “All brawn and no grains,” and “Beat your grains out,” and “Grain dead,” and “Grain fart,” and “Grain teaser,” and “Grain wave,” and “Grainstorming session,” and “Got it on the grain,” and “Hare grained,” and “A no-grainer,” and “Pick your grains,” and “Rack your grains,” and “It’s not grain surgery.”
  • Grind → Grain-d: As in, “Bump and grain-d,” and “Daily grain-d,” and “Grain-d down,” and “Grain-d to a halt,” and “Nose to the grain-dstone,” and “Don’t like the bastards grain-d you down.” Note: to have your nose to the grindstone is to work hard.
  • Gain → Grain: As in, “Capital grains,” and “Grain an advantage,” and “Ill-gotten grains,” and “No pain, no grain,” and “Nothing ventured, nothing grained.” Note: a capital gain is a profit from the sale of a capital asset (like stock or real estate).
  • *gain* → *grain*: As in, “Agrainst all odds,” and “Agrainst the clock,” and “Bar-grain basement,” and “Come a-grain?” and “A fool’s bar-grain,” and “Here we go a-grain,” and “More than you bar-grained for,” and “Now and a-grain,” and “A race agrainst time,” and “You can say that a-grain,” and “Back agrainst the wall.”
  • *ray* → *grain*: Change the “ray” sound in some words to “grain”: grain-ciously (graciously), engrainve (engrave), grain-dation (gradation), grain-dient (gradient), immi-grain-tion (immigration), ingrain-dient (ingredient).
  • I love → Olive: As in “Olive you so much!” and “Olive silly food puns!”
  • Or live → Olive: As in “Live like a king olive on a shoe string.”.
  • All of → Olive: As in “Sending olive my love to your family.”
  • Time → Thyme: As in “All in good thyme.” and “Better luck next thyme.” and “We just need to buy some thyme.”
  • Platter → Plait her: “I love to platter hair – it’s therapeutic.”
  • Dip: As in “Take a dip” and “Dip your toe in.” (Playing on the “crackers and dip” form of “dip”)
  • I am → I yam: As in “I yam who I yam.”
  • Yankee → Yamkee: As in “The Newyork Yamkees are up 3 points!”
  • Mint: “All of the items are mint condition.”
  • Mean’t → Mint: As in “We were just mint to be.” and “You weren’t mint to eat it!”
  • *ment → *mint: Words that end in “ment” can be simple cheesy “mint” puns: governmint, developmint, momint, managemint, departmint, agreemint, environmint, investmint, employmint, equiptmint, commint, assessmint, requiremint, improvemint, appointmint, settlemint, experimint, establishmint, implemint, announcemint, punishmint, measuremint, dissapointmint, advertisemint, encouragemint, embarrassmint, segmint, argumint, pigmint, tormint, paymint, ornamint, sedamint, vehemint, shipmint, treatmint, statemint, merrimint. See this list for more.
  • Clothes → Cloves: As in “I’m only half-cloved” and “The emperor’s new cloves.”
  • Love → Clove: As in “I clove you so much!” and “Clove is in the air.”
  • Garret → Carrot: A “garret” is an attic, loft or roof space.
  • Root: As in “I’m rooting for you!” and “Money is the root of all evil.” (The term “root” is also a synonym for sexual intercourse in some countries/regions)
  • Rude → Root: As in “A root awakening.” and “He has no manners – very root.”
  • Green: This can obviously refer to the colour, but it can also refer to someone who is inexperienced or naive: “A green recruit fresh from college.”
  • Funnel → Fennel: “Fennel” is a herb. Example: “They were all fenneled into the same career by the specialist college.”
  • Final → Fennel: As in “It’s the fennel count down.” and “You have the fennel say.” and “It’s my fennel offer.”
  • Squash: As in “Don’t squash the poor bug!” and “We need to squash the competition.”
  • Roo bar → Rhubarb: In Australia a car’s “bullbar” is often called a “roo bar” (“roo” is short for “kangaroo”).
  • Saw → Seed: The past tense form of “see” is of course “saw”, but we can be make a silly seed pun if we “conjugate” “see” like we normally do with regular verbs: “seed”. Examples:  “I came, I seed, I conquered.”
  • Seedy: This is a describing word for someone or something that is morally questionable, foul, or dirty. Examples: “So many seedy people hanging around that place.”
  • Seed: As in “But it planted a seed of hope.” and “We got more seed capital from investors.”
  • Properly → Broccoli: This one’s a stretch! Example: “If you’re going to do it at all, you might as well do it broccoli.”
  • Leave → Leaf: As in “Absent without leaf.” and “Leaf no stone unturned” and “Leaf your options open.” and “Love them and leaf them.” and “That’s going to leaf a mark!” and “I’m leafing tomorrow morning.”
  • Love → Leaf: As in “I leaf you so much!” and “Leaf is in the air.”
  • Laugh → Leaf: As in “Leaf all the way to the bank.” and “Leaf in your face.” and “Leaf your head off.”
  • Leaves: As in “She leaves without a trace.”
  • So → Soy: This simple soy pun works best if the word after “so” begins with a “y”, but it still works without it. Examples: “Soy you think you can dance?” and “It’s soy sad.” and “There’s only soy much you can do.”
  • Say → Soy: As in “What did you just soy?” and “To have the final soy.” and “Needless to soy, …” and “Never soy never.”
  • Soil → Soyl: As in “That tofu pun was hilarious – I almost soyled my pants.” and “Fertile soyl.”
  • *soy*: Other words containing the “soy” sound can also be soy puns: ellipsoyd (ellipsoid), sinusoydally (sinusoidally).
  • So you been → Soya bean: As in “Soya bean up to much lately?”
  • Corn → Can: As in “Corn’t we all just get along?” and “Appearances corn be deceptive.” and “Bit off more than you corn chew.” and “Corn you believe it?” and “You corn count on me.”
  • Gone → Corn: As in “Here today, corn tomorrow.” and “It’s all corn pear-shaped.” and “Corn, but not forgotten.”
  • Pulse: This term can refer to a couple of different things. First, the pulse of your veins caused by your heart-beat, or more generally, any short burst or vibration (e.g. of sound, electricity, etc.). Second, it is a synonym of “legume” which refers to produce like chickpeas, lentils, and beans.
  • But any → Botany: As in “You expect me to be impressed, botany body can do that.”
  • Culture → Agriculture: A very corny one: “I was feeling homesick and experiencing agriculture shock.”
  • Too bad → Tuberd: As in “You want some? Tuberd, it’s all mine.” and “Tuberd the shoes don’t fit you.”
  • *uber*: Words that contain the “uber” sound (or similar) can sometimes be potato puns: extuberant (exuberant), tuberis (hubris), protuberances, tuberty (puberty).
  • Guarding → Garden: As in “A soldier was garden the entry.” and “The manager was always garden his reputation by blaming others.”
  • Esteemed → E-steamed: As in “Many of these qualities are e-steamed by managers.” and “Contemporary Japanese ceramics are highly e-steamed.”
  • Raw: As in “That was a raw deal.” (a bad deal)
  • Brussels: It’s the name of a region in Belgium, but is also well known as part of the phrase “Brussels sprout” which is a well known vegetable which likely originated there.
  • She weed→ Seaweed: As in “I just got a new pet rabbit and seaweed on my carpet.”
  • Produce: When the emphasis is on the “prod” part of this word, it refers to things that have been grown on a farm. You might be able to make vegetable puns with this in the right context.
  • Crop: As in “If you crop the photo it’ll look better.” and “The cream of the crop.” and “I always ask the hairdresser for a crop.”
  • Crop up: To “crop up” means to appear unexpectedly and/or suddenly, and thus could be a pun on “crop” which is a cultivated grain, fruit or vegetable.
  • Crap → Crop: As in, “A load of crop,” and “Bunch of crop,” and “Cut the crop,” and “The cropper,” and “Full of crop,” and “Do bears crop in the woods?” and “Don’t crop where you eat,” and “A piece of crop,” and “You scared the crop out of me.”
  • Scrap* → S-crop*: As in, “S-crop iron,” and “Bow and s-crope,” and “S-crope along,” and “S-crope the bottom of the barrel,” and “S-crope through,” and “S-crope together,” and “Table s-crops.”
  • Cop → Crop: As in, “Crop an attitude,” and “Crop out,” and “Crop shop,” and “It’s a fair crop,” and “Undercover crop,” and “Crop onto something,” and “A dirty crop.” Notes: to cop an attitude is to behave rudely. A fair cop is when you acknowledge that you’ve been caught doing wrong.
  • *cop* → *crop*: As in, “Under the microscrope,” and “Scrope out,” and “Cropycat,” and “Carbon cropy.”
  • *crop*: Emphasise the “crop” in certain words to make some corny Thanksgiving puns: acrophobia, microphone, acropolis and outcrop. Notes: Acrophobia is an extreme and irrational fear of heights. An acropolis is a citadel.
  • Cartoon → Cardoon: This is thistle of the sunflower family that is often called an “Artichoke thistle”. It has edible leaves and roots. Example: “Disney has some of the most famous cardoons in the world.”
  • Okay→ Okra: As in “Are you feeling okra?” (Terrible! 😀 By the way, okra is a plant the has edible green pods)
  • Rocket: As well as the obvious definition, “rocket” refers to a type of leafy salad vegetable.
  • Law → Slaw: As in “Slaw and order.” and “I am a slaw abiding citizen.” and “The slaw of diminishing returns.” and “The slaw of the jungle.” You could also use “slaw” to replace “it’s law” – perhaps add a preceding apostrophe like so: ‘slaw
  • A thousand islands: “Thousand Island” is a popular salad dressing. If you can somehow work “thousand island” into your prose, you’ve got yourself a salad pun.
  • Dressing: As in “Oh stop dressing it up!” and “Are you dressing up for Halloween?”
  • Sprout: This is a general term for “to emerge and grow rapidly”, but has obvious vegetable-based connotations (and probably origins). Example: “He thought he’d sprout wings and fly.”
  • Iceberg: A popular type of lettuce, and also (obviously) a big chunk of ice floating in the ocean.
  • Fresh: This is a term that is strongly associated with vegetables and so could probably qualify as a vegetable pun if used in the right context (though it’s a bit of a stretch!). Phrases like “a fresh start” and “a fresh pair of eyes” may be useful.
  • Bulb: As in “Can you change that light bulb for me?”
  • Stalk: “The spy stalked the target for days before getting enough intel.”
  • Pretty good → Rad-ish: When something is “rad” it’s awesome, cool or really good. If something is “rad-ish” then it’s just pretty good (and not overly so).

Vegetable-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to vegetables can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the vegetable themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • as easy as shelling peas
  • as red as beetroot
  • carrot and stick
  • cauliflower ear
  • cool beans
  • cool as a cucumber
  • couch potato
  • sofa spud
  • dangle the carrot
  • (to play) hot potato
  • fine words butter no parsnips
  • full of beans
  • I yam what I yam
  • sprout wings and fly
  • spill the beans
  • know your onions
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • cultivate your garden
  • it ain’t rocket science
  • in a pickle
  • keep your eyes peeled
  • like two peas in a pod
  • he has a green thumb
  • small potatoes
  • separate the wheat from the chaff
  • take a leaf out of my book
  • turn over a new leaf
  • the cream of the crop
  • whatever tickles your pickle
  • you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip
  • plant a seed of doubt
  • plant the seed
  • seed money / seed capital / seed round
  • the grass is always greener on the other side

Vegetable-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of vegetable-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

tomato, lettuce, beet, plant, onion, herb, spinach, pumpkin, potato, veggie, vegan, vegetarian, artichoke, cardoon, veg, legume, okra, cucumber, celery, asparagus, eggplant, salad, yam, bamboo shoot, bean, casava, produce, garlic, leek, mushroom, cabbage, radish, carrot, root vegetable, root, greens, fennel, squash, rhubarb, plantain, seed, turnip, chicory, kale, broccoli, leafy, leaf, leafy vegetable, soy, corn, avocado, sweet potato, cauliflower, herbal, soya bean, pulse, watercress, pea, parsnip, botany, agriculture,  tuber, beans, zucchini, garden, maize, cuisine, steamed, organic, wheat, cereals, grains, vegetation, capsicum, raw, soybean, tofu, onions, brussel sprouts, seaweed, beetroot, thyme, lentil, pea pod, runner bean, caesar salad, coleslaw, salad bar, bell pepper, croutons, bean salad, shallot, pickle, peel, aubergine, courgette, salsify, vegetative, green bean, snap peas, broad bean, salad dressing, slaw, rocket, waldorf salad, ranch dressing, thousand island dressing, chicory, greek salad, lemon grass, spring onion, cherry tomato, celtuce, cos lettuce, sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, alfalfa, arugula, butterhead lettuce, head lettuce, iceberg lettuce, chard, parsley, cassava, pickled, green, healthy, vitamins, fibre, fresh, green pepper, acorn squash, basil, black-eyed peas, capers, celeriac, chick peas, chinese cabbage, collard greens, cress, daikon, dandelion greens, endive, fava bean, ginger, gourd, chilli peppers, jicama, kohlrabi, lima bean, mung bean, mustard greens, olive, pattypan squash, peppers, radiccho, rutabaga, scallion, sorrel, spuds, succotash, string bean, swiss chard, taro, tomatillo, vegetable, wasabi, water chestnut, herbaceous, irrigation, bulb, leaves, nature, nutrition, nutrient, vegetable patch, cabbage patch, stalk, jalapeno, crop, clove.

Vegetable Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny vegetable jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style vegetable jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to vegetables.

  • Why did the cucumber blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing!
  • What do you call an angry pea? – Grump-pea.
  • Why did the potatoes argue? – Because they couldn’t see eye-to-eye.
  • How did the farmer fix his jeans? – With a cabbage patch!
  • Why did the tomato get embarrassed? – Because it saw the chick pea.
  • Which vegetable do Sailors ban from their ships? – Leeks.
  • What did the lettuce say to the celery? – Quit stalking me!
  • What is small, red and whispers? – A hoarse raddish.
  • What is green and goes to summer camp? – A Brussel scout!
  • What do root vegetables wear to bed? – Yammies!
  • What do you call a retired vegetable? – A has-bean.
  • When is a vegetable too fresh? – When he insults the farmer.
  • Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares? – Because they take up too mushroom!
  • What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? – Kids don’t eat broccoli.
  • Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? – There are too many ears.
  • What’s a vegetable’s favourite martial art? – Carot-e!
  • What’s the coolest vegetable? – A rad-ish!
  • Why did the chef quit? – They cut his celery.
  • What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin? – I yam what I yam.
  • What does a nosey pepper do? – Gets jalapeno business!
  • How do you fix a broken tomato? – Tomato paste.

Vegetable Pun Images

Below is a collection of vegetable-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual vegetable puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

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