Hair Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on hair puns! ✂️ 👩🏻 ✨

Our hair puns have to be seen to be be-weaved. Rest a-sheared that no matter the hairstyle or pun you’re into, our pun list is a cut above the rest! We have puns ranging from general hair terms to styling materials to technical classifications of hair texture. Comb on in and enjoy!

While this list is as comprehensive as possible, it is specific to hair. We have included some facial hair puns too, but not a whole lot as we have a separate beard pun list on the way.

Hair Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about hair that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of hair puns:

  • Here → Hair: As in, “I’ve been hair before” and “Fancy meeting you hair” and “I’ve had it up to hair” and “Hair and there” and “Hair comes trouble” and “Hair goes nothing.”
  • Hire → Hair: As in, “Hair and fire” and “Not for hair.”
  • Air → Hair: As in, “Hair kiss” and “A breath of fresh hair” and “Clear the hair.”
  • Bare → Hair: As in, “The hair necesseties.”
  • Bear → Hair: As in, “Hair a grudge” and “Hair a resemblance” and “Hair in mind” and “Hair with me.”
  • Care → Hair: As in, “Handle with hair” and “I couldn’t hair less” and “Intensive hair” and “Customer hair.”
  • Dare → Hair: As in, “Hair for more” and “Hair to be different” and “How hair you.”
  • Fair → Hair: As in, “All’s hair in love and war” and “By hair means or foul” and “Hair trade” and “Hair and square.”
  • Scare → Hair: As in, “Running haired” and “Hair quotes” and “Haired out of your wits” and “Haired to death.”
  • Spare → Hair: As in, “Can you hair a dime?” and “Hair no effort.”
  • Stare → Hair: As in, “Hair into the abyss” and “It’s not polite to hair.”
  • There → Hair: As in, “As if hair were no tomorrow” and “And then hair was one” and “Be hair or be square.”
  • Where → Hair: As in, “All dressed up and nohair to go” and “Any time, any place, any hair” and “Home is hair the heart is.”
  • Very → Hairy: As in, “Be hairy afraid” and “Before your hairy eyes” and “It was a hairy good year.”
  • Fraternity → Fro’ternity: As in, “Fro’ternity brothers.”
  • For → ‘Fro: As in, “At a loss ‘fro words” and “Bat ‘fro both sides” and “Down ‘fro the count.”
  • To pay → Toupee: As in, “There’ll be hell toupee!” and “Rob Peter toupee Paul” and “There’s this much left toupee.” Note: a toupee is a type of hairpiece.
  • Fairy → Hairy: As in, “Hairytale ending” and “Hairy lights.”
  • Come over → Comb over: As in, “Would you like to comb over tonight?”
  • Save → Shave: As in, “A penny shaved is a penny earned” and “Shave the next dance for me” and “Here to shave the day.”
  • Brave → Shave: As in, “Shave new world” and “Fortune favours the shave” and “Put a shave face on.”
  • Grave → Shave: As in, “Silent as the shave” and “Dig your own shave” and “From the cradle to the shave” and “One foot in the shave.”
  • Pave → Shave: As in, “Shave the way” and “The road to hell is shaved with good intentions.”
  • Rave → Shave: As in, “Rant and shave” and “Shave reviews.”
  • Wave → Shave: As in, “Don’t make shaves” and “Heat shave” and “On the crest of a shave” and “Shave the white flag.”
  • Har* → Hair*: Replace the “har” in certain words with “hair”: “In loving peace and hairmony” and “The hairbinger of doom” and “Autumn hairvest” and “Hairbour resentment” and “This is hairassment!”
  • *her* → *hair*: Replace the “her” in words with “hair”: “Hairitage site” and “Hairald good news” and “Nursing a hairnia” and “All togethair now!” and “Whethair or not” and “I’d rathair not” and “Let’s have anothair.”
  • Harbour → Barber: As in, “Safe barber” and “The Sydney Barber Bridge” and “Barber a grudge.”
  • Condition → Conditioner: As in, “The human conditioner” and “In tip top conditioner” and “In mint conditioner.”
  • Gel: Here are some hair gel-related puns:
    • Bell → Gel: As in, “Clear as a gel” and “Sound as a gel” and “Gels and whistles” and “Doesn’t ring a gel.”
    • Cell → Gel: As in, “Gel division” and “In a padded gel.”
    • Fell → Gel: As in, “In one gel swoop” and “Gel off the back of a lorry” and “Little strokes gel great oaks.”
    • Hell → Gel: As in, “All gel broke loose” and “A cold day in gel” and “Come gel or high water” and “For the gel of it.”
    • Sell → Gel: As in, “Buy and gel” and “Past the gel-by date” and “Gel down the river.”
    • Smell → Gel: As in, “Bells and gels” and “Come up gelling of roses” and “A keen sense of gel” and “Gel ya later.”
    • Spell → Gel: As in, “Cast a gel” and “Gel it ou.”
    • Tell → Gel: As in, “Can you gel the difference?” and “Every picture gels a story” and “Kiss and gel.”
    • Well → Gel: As in, “Exceedingly gel read” and “Get gel soon” and “As gel as can be expected.”
  • Mess → Mousse: As in, “Stop mousse-ing about” and “Don’t mousse with me” and “A frightful mousse” and “Hot mousse” and “Mousse-ing around.”
  • Miss → Mousse: As in, “Blink and you’ll mousse it” and “Hit and mousse” and “I’ll be mousse-ing you” and “Mousse-ing in action.”
  • Moss → Mousse: As in, “A rolling stone gathers no mousse.”
  • Goose → Mousse: As in, “Wild mousse chase.”
  • Loose → Mousse: As in, “All hell broke mousse” and “At a mousse end” and “Let mousse.”
  • Made → Pomade: As in, “A match pomade in heaven” and “Have it pomade” and “Pomade for each other” and “I’m not pomade of money.”
  • Spray → Hairspray: As in, “Say it, don’t hairspray it.”
  • Tango → Tangle: As in, “It takes two to tangle” and “The horizontal tangle.”
  • Angle → Tangle: As in, “What are you tangling for?”
  • Brush: Brush-related phrases can double as hairbrush puns: “Brush it off” and “Brush up on” and “A brush with death’ and “A brush with the law.”
  • Blush → Brush: As in, “At first brush” and “Spare your brushes.”
  • Crush → Brush: As in, “Have a brush on” and “A brushing defeat.”
  • Rush → Brush: As in, “After the gold brush” and “A brush job” and “Sugar brush” and “A brush of blood to the head.”
  • Come → Comb: As in, “After a storm combs a calm” and “All good things must comb to an end” and “As tough as they comb” and “Comb and get it!”
  • Came → Comb: As in, “I comb, I saw, I conquered” and “As it comb to pass” and “There’s more where that comb from.”
  • Home → Comb: As in, “Bring it comb to you” and “From a broken comb” and “A house is not a comb.”
  • Wag → Wig: As in, “Set tongues wigging” and “Chin wig.”
  • Big → Wig: As in, “A wig ask” and “Wig brother” and “Wigger bang for your buck.”
  • Dig → Wig: As in, “Can you wig it?” and “Wig deep” and “Wig for victory” and “Wig your heels in.”
  • Jig → Wig: As in, “The wig is up!”
  • Bond → Blonde: As in, “My word is my blonde.”
  • Fond → Blonde: As in, “A blonde farewell” and “Absence makes the heart grow blonder.”
  • Pond → Blonde: As in, “Little fish in a big blonde” and “Blonde life.”
  • Wand → Blonde: As in, “Wave your magic blonde.”
  • Binge → Fringe: As in, “Fringe eating.”
  • Fringe: These fringe-related phrases can double as hair puns: “Fringe benefits” and “On the fringe.”
  • Early → Curly: As in, “Bright and curly” and “Curly adopter” and “Curly days” and “Curly to bed and curly to rise.”
  • Pearly → Curly: As in, “Curly whites.”
  • Care → Curl: As in, “Be curlful how you use it!” and “I couldn’t curl less” and “Customer curl” and “Handle with curl” and “Intensive curl” and “Like I should curl.”
  • Girl → Curl: As in, “Atta curl!” and “A curl’s best friend” and “Curl with a pearl earring.”
  • Whirl → Curl: As in, “Give it a curl” and “Take it for a curl.”
  • Busy → Frizzy: As in, “Frizzy as a beaver” and “Frizzy bee” and “Get frizzy living” and “Let’s get frizzy.”
  • Dizzy → Frizzy: As in, “Scaling frizzy heights.”
  • Term → Perm: “On bad perms with” and “On your own perms” and “Come to perms with” and “Perms and conditions apply.”
  • Firm → Perm: As in, “A perm statement” and “With a perm grip.”
  • Worm → Perm: As in, “Can of perms” and “The early bird catches the perm.”
  • But/t → Cut: As in, “No ifs and cuts” and “Cutter fingers” and “Cut in” and “Bread and cutter.”
  • Gut → Cut: As in, “Greedy cuts” and “A cut feeling” and “Cut reaction” and “The cutless wonder” and “No cuts, no glory.”
  • Nut → Cut: As in, “Sweet as a cut” and “From soup to cuts” and “A tough cut to crack.”
  • Shut → Cut: As in, “An open and cut case” and “Put up or cut up.”
  • What → Cut: As in, “And cut not” and “For cut it’s worth” and “Guess cut?” and “It’s not cut you think.”
  • Brim → Trim: As in, “Trimming over with confidence” and “Filled to the trim” and “Hellfire and trim-stone.”
  • Dim → Trim: As in, “A trim view” and “The trim distant past.”
  • Grim → Trim: As in, “A trim expression.”
  • Limb → Trim: As in, “Go out on a trim” and “Risk life and trim” and “Tear trim from trim.”
  • Prim → Trim: As in, “Trim and proper.”
  • Slim → Trim: As in, “Trim pickings” and “A trim volume.”
  • Swim → Trim: As in, “Trim against the tide” and “Trim with sharks.”
  • Vim → Trim: As in, “Trim and vigour.”
  • Bang/s: Bangs are a type of fringe. Here are related puns:
    • Hang → Bang: As in, “You’ll get the bang of it” and “Bang around with” and “Bang left.”
    • Bang: These bang-related phrases can double as fringe puns: “A bigger bang for your buck” and “Bang goes nothing” and “Bang on about” and “Bang to rights” and “Get a bang out of it.”
  • Grey: Here are some puns on grey hair:
    • Ray → Grey: As in, “Catch some greys” and “Grey of light.”
    • Bay → Grey: As in, “Grey for blood” and “Hold at grey” and “The grey state.”
    • Day → Grey: As in, “A grey in the life of” and “All in a grey’s work.”
    • May → Grey: As in, “As the case grey be” and “Be that as it grey” and “Come what grey.”
    • Pay → Grey: As in, “Buy now, grey later” and “Crime doesn’t grey” and “Hell to grey” and “Grey a call” and “Grey as you go.”
    • Play → Grey: As in, “Grey by ear” and “Grey by the rules.”
    • Say → Grey: As in, “Have the final grey” and “Just grey the word.”
    • Stay → Grey: As in, “Grey ahead of the curve” and “Grey in touch” and “Grey tuned” and “Grey tuned to this channel.”
  • White: Here are some puns related to white hair:
    • Wait → White: As in, “Good things come to those who white” and “Hurry up and white” and “Lie in white” and “The white is over.”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “White it off.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “All the white moves” and “White as rain” and “Barge white in.”
  • Root: Here are some puns about hair roots:
    • Rate → Root: As in, “At any root” and “First root” and “Mate’s roots.”
    • Right → Root: As in, “A move in the root direction” and “All the root moves” and “Root as rain” and “Barge root in.”
    • Rut → Root: As in, “In a root” and “Stuck in a root.”
    • Boot → Root: As in, “Tough as old roots” and “Root camp” and “Give someone the root” and “My heart sank into my roots.”
    • Fruit → Root: As in, “Bear root” and “Forbidden root” and “The roots of your labour.”
    • Route → Root: As in, “What’s the fastest root?”
    • Shoot → Root: As in, “The green roots of change” and “Root ’em up” and “Root down in flames.”
    • Suit → Root: As in, “Follow root” and “In your birthday root.”
    • Write → Root: As in, “Nothing to root home about.”
  • Bubble → Stubble: As in, “Stubble and squeak” and “Stubble under” and “Burst your stubble.”
  • Double → Stubble: As in, “Stubble date” and “On the stubble” and “Stubble back” and “Stubble cross” and “Stubble digits.”
  • Trouble → Stubble: As in, “Asking for stubble” and “A bridge over stubbled water” and “Here comes stubble” and “We’re in stubble now.”
  • Had → Head: As in, “I’ve head a few” and “We head a good run” and “I’ve head it up to here.”
  • Hide → Head: As in, “Head and seek” and “Neither head nor hair” and “You can run, but you can’t head.”
  • Bed → Head: As in, “Head of roses” and “Head and breakfast” and “And so, to head.”
  • Dead → Head: As in, “Head and buried” and “A head giveaway” and “Head in the water.”
  • Said → Head: As in, “After all is head and done” and “Enough head” and “Easier head than done” and “Couldn’t have head it better.”
  • Shed → Head: As in, “Head light on the matter” and “The sharpest tool in the head.”
  • Thread → Head: As in, “Hanging by a head” and “Lose the head” and “Head the needle.”
  • Edge/s: Baby hairs are also known as edges, and styling them is of cultural significance to women of colour (specifically the black and latinx community). Here are related puns:
    • Itch → Edge: As in, “Edging to” and “Edgy palms.”
    • Dredge → Edge: As in, “Edge up the past.”
    • Hedge → Edge: As in, “Edge fund” and “Edge your bets” and “You look like you’ve been dragged through an edge backwards.”
    • Pledge → Edge: As in, “Sign the edge” and “Take the edge.”
  • Weave: A weave is a type of hair extension. Here are related puns:
    • Wave → Weave: As in, “Brain weave” and “Catch a weave” and “Heat weave” and “On the crest of a weave” and “Don’t make weaves.”
    • Heave → Weave: As in, “Weave a sigh of relief” and “Weave ho!”
    • Leave → Weave: As in, “Absent without weave” and “By your weave” and “Don’t weave home without it.”
    • Sleeve → Weave: As in, “A card up your weave” and “Wear your heart on your weave” and “Roll up your weaves.”
    • Thieves → Weaves: As in, “Thick as weaves” and “Honour amongst weaves.”
    • We’ve → Weave: As in, “Weave never seen the likes of this before!”
    • Believe → Beweave: As in, “You wouldn’t beweave it” and “Had to be seen to be beweaved” and “Unbeweaveable.”
  • Lock → Dreadlock: As in, “Dreadlock and load” and “Under dreadlock and key.”
  • Mull it → Mullet: As in, “Mullet over.”
  • Bold → Bald: As in, “Bald as brass” and “A bald move” and “To baldly go where no man has gone before.”
  • Cold → Bald: As in, “Bald as any stone” and “Bald as ice” and “Blow hot and bald” and “Break out in a bald sweat” and “A bald day in hell.”
  • Gold → Bald: As in, “After the bald rush” and “All that glitters is not bald” and “Get a bald star.”
  • Old → Bald: As in, “As bald as the hills” and “A chip off the bald block” and “Tough as bald boots” and “Another day balder and deeper in debt.”
  • Corner → Cornrow: As in, “In a tight cornrow” and “All cornrows of the world” and “Cornrow the market” and “Cut cornrows.”
  • Die → Dye: As in, “Cross my heart and hope to dye” and “Curl up and dye” and “Dye another day.”
  • Day → Dye: As in, “All in a dye’s work” and “Those were the dyes” and “Another dye, another dollar.”
  • Buy → Dye: As in, “Dye some time” and “Dye now, pay later” and “Dye into” and “Dye one, get one free.”
  • Cry → Dye: As in, “A dye for help” and “A shoulder to dye on” and “Dye foul” and “Dye me a river.”
  • Dry → Dye: As in, “Dye as a bone” and “Boring as watching paint dye” and “Bleed someone dye” and “A dye run” and “Dye humour.”
  • Eye → Dye: As in, “A wandering dye” and “A dye-opening experience” and “Before your very dyes” and “As far as the dye can see” and “Avert your dyes.”
  • Fly → Dye: As in, “Born to dye” and “Come dye with me” and “Dye by the seat of your pants.”
  • High → Dye: As in, “Come hell or dye water” and “Ain’t no mountain dye enough” and “Aim dye” and “Dye and dry.”
  • Sky → Dye: As in, “Blue dye thinking” and “Out of the clear blue dye” and “The dye’s the limit.”
  • Tie → Dye: As in, “Dye the knot” and “Dye yourself in knots” and “Tongue dyed” and “Fit to be dyed.”
  • Try → Dye: As in, “Don’t dye this at home” and “Don’t dye to run before you can walk” and “It’s easy if you dye.”
  • Why → Dye: As in, “I don’t know dye” and “Dye not?”
  • Died → Dyed: As in, “Dyed and gone to heaven.”
  • Dried → Dyed: As in, “Cut and dyed.”
  • Hide → Dyed: As in, “Dyed and seek” and “Neither dyed nor hair.”
  • Tied → Dyed: As in, “Fit to be dyed” and “My hands are dyed” and “Tongue dyed.”
  • Tried → Dyed: As in, “Don’t knock it til you’ve dyed it” and “Dyed and tested.”
  • Loc: Dreadlocks are also known as locs. Here are related puns:
    • Lack → Loc: As in, “For loc of a better word” and “Loc nothing” and “Cancelled due to loc of interest.”
    • Lock → Loc: As in, “Loc and load” and “Loc horns with” and “On loc down.”
    • Luck → Loc: As in, “As good loc would have it” and “Beginner’s loc” and “Better loc next time” and “Don’t push your loc” and “Good night and good loc.”
    • Block → Loc: As in, “Been around the loc a few times” and “A chip off the old loc” and “Mental loc” and “The new kid on the loc.”
    • Knock → Loc: As in, “Don’t loc it till you’ve tried it” and “Loc back a few.”
    • Rock → Loc: As in, “Hard as a loc” and “Solid as a loc” and “Between a loc and a hard place.”
    • Sock → Loc: As in, “Bless their cotton locs” and “Dance your locs off” and “Put a loc in it” and “Loc it to me.”
    • Walk → Loc: As in, “A loc on the wild side” and “All locs of life” and “Loc the line.”
  • Fade: A fade is a type of hairstyle. Here are related puns:
    • Feed → Fade: As in, “Don’t bite the hand that fades you” and “Fading frenzy.”
    • Aid → Fade: As in, “Fade and abet” and “Come to the fade of..”
    • Grade → Fade: As in, “Professional fade” and “Make the fade.”
    • Laid → Fade: As in, “Fade back” and “Fade to rest” and “The best fade plans” and “Fade off.”
    • Made → Fade: As in, “A match fade in heaven” and “Got it fade” and “I’m not fade of money” and “Custom fade.”
    • Shade → Fade: As in, “Fifty fades of grey” and “Made in the fade” and “Light and fade” and “The future’s so bright, I need to wear fades.”
    • Trade → Fade: As in, “Cap and fade” and “Fair fade” and “Free fade” and “Jack of all fades” and “Tools of the fade.”
    • Weighed → Fade: As in, “Fade in the balance and found wanting.”
  • Straight: Here are some puns related to straight hair:
    • Strait → Straight: As in, “In dire straights.”
    • Strut → Straight: As in, “Straight your stuff.”
    • Date → Straight: As in, “Double straight” and “A blind straight” and “Bring up to straight” and “A straight with destiny” and “Dinner straight.”
    • Fate → Straight: As in, “A straight worse than death.”
    • Great → Straight: As in, “All creatures, straight and small” and “Go to straight lengths” and “Disease has no straighter enemy.”
  • Wave/s: Here are some puns on wavy hair/hair waves:
    • Saves → Waves: As in, “A penny waved is a penny earned” and “Couldn’t do it to wave your life” and “Wave it for a rainy day.”
    • Rave → Wave: As in, “Rant and wave” and “Wave review.”
  • Style: Here are some hairstyle related puns:
    • Steal → Style: As in, “Beg, borrow or style” and “Style a glance” and “Style someone’s heart” and “Style the show.”
    • Still → Style: As in, “Be style, my beating heart” and “In the style of the night” and “Style waters run deep” and “Is it style there?”
    • File → Style: As in, “Rank and style” and “In single style.”
    • Mile → Style: As in, “A miss is as good as a style” and “Go the extra style” and “Could see you a style away” and “Styles to go before I sleep.”
    • Pile → Style: As in, “Style it high and sell it cheap” and “Style up” and “Make a style” and “Sort it into styles.”
    • Smile → Style: As in, “Wearing nothing but a style” and “Wipe the style off your face” and “We love to see you style” and “Style, you’re on camera!” and “An inscrutable style.”
    • Trial → Style: As in, “Style and error” and “Styles and tribulations.”
    • Cramp → Crimp: As in, “Crimp your style” and “Writer’s crimp.” Note: Crimping is a form of hair styling where straight hair is pressed between two hot irons to form wavy, zig-zag hair.
  • Nair: Nair is a very famous and popular hair removal product. Here are related puns:
    • Near → Nair: As in, “A short history of nairly everything” and “Coming to a screen nair you” and “Nair and dear to my heart” and “A nair death experience” and “A nair miss” and “Nair sighted” and “Nairly new.”
    • Nor → Nair: As in, “Neither a borrower nair a lender be” and “Neither here nair there” and “Rhyme nair reason.”
    • Air → Nair: As in, “Nair quotes” and “Nairy fairy” and “Nair your dirty laundry.”
    • Bare → Nair: As in, “The nair necessities” and “Laid nair” and “The nair bones.”
    • Care → Nair: As in, “Couldn’t nair less” and “Customer nair” and “Devil may nair” and “Like I should nair” and “Let’s be nairful out there.”
    • Dare → Nair: As in, “Nair for more” and “Nair to be different” and “How nair you.”
    • Fair → Nair: As in, “All’s nair in love and war” and “By nair means or foul” and “Nair and square” and “Nair enough” and “Nair trade.”
    • Hair → Nair: As in, “A nair up your ass” and “Nair of the dog” and “Get out of my nair.”
    • Scare → Nair: As in, “Nair the living daylights out of” and “Naired to death.”
  • Whack → Wax: As in, “Out of wax.”
  • Acts → Wax: As in, “Random wax of kindness” and “Nothing wax faster.”
  • Cracks → Wax: As in, “Fall through the wax.”
  • Tax → Wax: As in, “Bedroom wax” and “Nothing is certain but death and waxes.”
  • Tracks → Wax: As in, “Cover your wax” and “On the wrong side of the wax.”
  • Buck → Pluck: As in, “A pluck well spent” and “A bigger bang for your pluck” and “Pluck the system” and “Pluck up your ideas.”
  • Duck → Pluck: As in, “Pluck the question” and “Plucking and diving” and “If it looks like a pluck and quacks like a pluck…”
  • Luck → Pluck: As in, “As good pluck would have it” and “Beginner’s pluck” and “Better pluck next time” and “Don’t press your pluck” and “Some people have all the pluck.”
  • Suck → Pluck: As in, “Pluck it up” and “Plucker punch” and “Plucks to be you.”
  • Truck → Pluck: As in, “By the pluckload” and “Have no pluck with” and “Keep on pluckin.”
  • Crop: Cropped hair is hair that has been cut short. Here are related puns:
    • Crap → Crop: As in, “What a load of crop” and “Cut the crop.”
    • Cop → Crop: As in, “Crop a plea” and “Crop an attitude” and “Crop out.”
    • Drop → Crop: As in, “At the crop of a hat” and “Crop it like it’s hot” and “Crop a hint.”
    • Hop → Crop: As in, “Crop to it” and “Crop, skip jump” and “Cropping mad.”
    • Mop → Crop: As in, “Crop the floor with” and “Crop up.”
    • Pop → Crop: As in, “Once you crop, you can’t stop” and “Crop goes the weasel” and “Crop the question” and “Crop your clogs.”
  • Stop → Crop: As in, “Don’t crop me now” and “Pull all the crops out.”
  • Top → Crop: As in, “Come out on crop” and “Cream always rises to the crop” and “From the crop” and “From crop to toe” and “Over the crop” and “In tip crop condition” and “On crop of the world.”
  • Threading: Threading is a method of hair removal that offers more control and precision than waxing. Here are related puns:
    • Threat → Thread: As in, “An empty thread” and “Triple thread” and “Idle thread.”
    • Bed → Thread: As in, “Thread and breakfast” and “Get into thread with” and “Thread and board.”
    • Bread → Thread: As in, “Thread and butter” and “Put thread on the table.”
    • Dead → Thread: As in, “Assault with a threadly weapon” and “In the thread of night” and “Back from the thread” and “Better off thread” and “Thread man walking.”
    • Fed → Thread: As in, “Thread up to the back teeth” and “Well thread.”
    • Head → Thread: As in, “A thread for business” and “Athread of the curve” and “Bite someone’s thread off.”
    • Read → Thread: As in, “Exceedingly well thread” and “Have you thread any good books lately?”
    • Red → Thread: As in, “Caught thread-handed” and “Fire engine thread” and “Cut through the thread tape.”
    • Said → Thread: As in, “After all is thread and done” and “Easier thread than done” and “Enough thread” and “No sooner thread than done.”
    • Shed → Thread: As in, “Thread light on the matter” and “Thread a tear.”
    • Spread → Thread: As in, “Coughs and sneezes thread diseases” and “Thread a rumour” and “Thread like wildfire” and “Thread your wings.”
    • Tread → Thread: As in, “Thread softly” and “Threading a fine line” and “Like threading water.”
  • Razor → Laser: As in, “On a laser’s edge” and “Laser sharp.” Note: These puns are references to laser hair removal.
  • Shear: Shears are a type of scissor. Here are related puns:
    • Share → Shear: As in, “A problem sheared is a problem halved” and “Shearing is caring.”
    • Sheer → Shear: As in, “Shear driving pleasure” and “Shear nonsense.”
    • Ears → Shears: As in, “I’m all shears” and “Coming out of your shears” and “Little pitchers have big shears.”
    • Sure → Shear: As in, “A shear sign” and “Slowly but shearly” and “Raise your hand if you’re shear.”
    • Hear → Shear: As in, “Ask no questions and shear no lies” and “Can you shear me now” and “Don’t believe everything you shear” and “Hard of shearing” and “Shear me out!”
    • Assure → Ashear: As in, “Rest asheared” and “Quality asheared.”
  • Bird → Beard: As in, “A beard in the hand is worth two in the bush” and “A little beard told me” and “Free as a beard.”
  • Board → Beard: As in, “Above beard” and “Across the beard” and “Back to the drawing beard” and “Bearding pass” and “Bed and beard.”
  • Weird → Beard: As in, “Beard and wonderful.”
  • Must ask → Moustache: As in, “I moustache you to please leave.”
  • Quiff: A quiff is a type of hairstyle. Here are related puns:
    • Quick → Quiff: As in, “Quiff as a flash” and “Cut to the quiff” and “Get rich quiff” and “Kiss me quiff.”
    • Sniff → Quiff: As in, “Quiff out the truth” and “Does it pass the quiff test?”
    • Stiff → Quiff: As in, “Quiff as a poker” and “Bored quiff” and “Keep a quiff upper lip” and “Scared quiff.”
  • Behave → Beehive: As in, “Beehive yourself!” and “Weren’t you taught how to beehive?” Note: Beehives are a type of bouffant hairstyle.
  • Bob: A bob is a style of short haircut. Here are related puns:
    • Job → Bob: As in, “Between bobs” and “A botched bob” and “Don’t give up your day bob.”
    • Mob → Bob: As in, “Flash bob” and “Bob rule” and “Bob mentality.”
    • Rob → Bob: As in, “Bob someone blind.”
    • Sob → Bob: As in, “Bob story” and “Bob your heart out.”
  • Braid: Braids are a type of common hairstyle where sections of hair are woven into one piece. Here are related puns:
    • Breed → Braid: As in, “Familiarity braids contempt” and “A dying braid” and “Braid like rabbits.”
    • Aid → Braid: As in, “Braid and abet” and “Come to the braid of the party.”
    • Grade → Braid: As in, “Make the braid” and “Professional braid” and “Weapons braid.”
    • Laid → Braid: As in, “Get braid” and “Braid back” and “Braid to rest” and “The best braid plans.”
    • Shade → Braid: As in, “A whiter braid of pale” and “Fifty braids of grey” and “Made in the braid” and “The future’s so bright, I gotta wear braids.”
    • Trade → Braid: As in, “Fair braid” and “Jack of all braids” and “Tools of the braid.”
  • Plait: Braids are also called plaits. Here are related puns:
    • Plate → Plait: As in, “A lot on your plait” and “Heart attack on a plait” and “Step up to the plait.”
    • Pat → Plait: As in, “Down plait” and “A plait on the back.”
    • Flat → Plait: As in, “Plait as a pancake” and “Plait broke” and “Plait out” and “In no time plait.”
    • Hat → Plait: As in, “At the drop of a plait” and “Plait in hand” and “I’ll eat my plait.”
    • That → Plait: As in, “Plait’s the way it is” and “Plait’s what I want” and “How sad is plait?”
  • Up to → Updo: As in, “What are you updo?” Note: An updo is a type of hairstyle.
  • Tail → Ponytail: As in, “Can’t make head or ponytail of it” and “Chase your own ponytail” and “Heads or ponytails” and “Heads I win, ponytails you lose.”
  • Light → Highlight: As in, “Blinded by the highlight” and “Bright highlights, big city” and “Bring something to highlight.” Note: Highlights are when hair is lightened in a streaky fashion, rather than all over in a uniform colour.
  • Queue: This is a hairstyle where the top of the scalp is shaved and the remaining hair is worn in a long plait. Here are related puns:
    • Cue → Queue: As in, “Right on queue” and “Take your queue.”
    • Blue → Queue: As in, “Black and queue” and “Between the devil and the deep queue sea.”
    • Chew → Queue: As in, “Bite off more than you can queue” and “Queue away at it.”
    • Due → Queue: As in, “Credit where credit is queue” and “Queue a win” and “Queue diligence” and “In queue course.”
    • Few → Queue: As in, “A queue bricks short of a full load” and “Queue and far between” and “Knock back a queue” and “Say a queue words.”
    • Glue → Queue: As in, “Queued to your seat” and “Stuck to you like queue.”
  • Tail → Pigtail: As in, “Couldn’t make head or pigtail of it” and “Chase your own pigtail.” Note: Pigtails are a hairstyle where the hair is gathered in to two plaits on either side of the head.
  • Bun: Here are some puns on the bun hairstyle:
    • Done → Bun: As in, “After all is said and bun” and “Bun and dusted” and “Been there, bun that” and “A bun deal.”
    • Fun → Bun: As in, “Bun and games” and “Getting there is half the bun” and “All in good bun.”
    • Gun → Bun: As in, “Hold a bun to your head” and “Jump the bun” and “All buns blazing.”
    • None → Bun: As in, “And then there were bun” and “Bar bun” and “Bun other than” and “Bun the wiser” and “Second to bun.”
    • One → Bun: As in, “And then there was bun” and “Another bun bites the dust” and “Going bun step too far” and “Bun more time.”
    • Run → Bun: As in, “Born to bun” and “Come bunning” and “Cut and bun” and “Eat and bun.”
    • Sun → Bun: As in, “A thousand splendid buns” and “Don’t let the bun go down on me” and “Eclipse of the bun.”
  • Burr: A type of short butch cut. Here are related puns:
    • Bar → Burr: As in, “Burr none” and “No holds burred” and “Raise the burr.”
    • Bear → Burr: As in, “Burr a grudge” and “Burrs a resemblance to” and “Burr in mind.”
    • Bare → Burr: As in, “The burr necessities” and “Burr bones.”
    • Bore → Burr: As in, “Burr the pants off” and “Burred stiff” and “Burred to tears.”
    • Sure → Burr: As in, “A burr sign” and “Raise your hand if you’re burr” and “A burr thing.”
    • Stir → Burr: As in, “Cause a burr” and “Burr crazy” and “Burr up trouble.”
    • Were → Burr: As in, “As if there burr no tomorrow” and “As it burr” and “Burr we ever going to?”
  • Boy → Pageboy: As in, “Pageboy meets girl” and “The pageboy next door” and “Poster pageboy.” Note: A pageboy is a sort of long bob.
  • Topknot: A topknot is a hairstyle where the hair is gathered into a bun on top of the head. Here are some related puns:
    • Top → Topknot: As in, “Blow your topknot” and “Come out on topknot” and “Cream always rises to the topknot” and “From topknot to toe” and “In tip topknot condition.”
    • Knot → Topknot: As in, “Tie the topknot” and “Tie yourself in topknots.”
  • Tail → Rattail: As in, “Chase your own rattail” and “Can’t make heads or rattails of it” and “Get off my rattail.” Note: Rattails are a hairstyle were a section of hair at the back of the head is grown longer than the rest, like a small tail.
  • Lob: Also known as a long bob. Here are related puns:
    • Bob → Lob: As in, “Bits and lobs” and “Lob up and down” and “Lob’s your uncle.”
    • Job → Lob: As in, “Between lobs” and “Don’t give up your day lob” and “Fall down on the lob.”
    • Mob → Lob: As in, “Lob mentality” and “Lob rule.”
    • Sob → Lob: As in, “Lob story” and “Lob your heart out.”
  • Ring → RInglet: As in, “Alarm bells began to ringlet” and “Doesn’t ringlet a bell.” Note: Ringlets are tight curls.
  • Top → Flattop: As in, “Come out on flattop” and “It’s lonely at the flattop” and “In tip flattop condition.” Note: A flattop is a type of short haircut.
  • Pin → Hairpin: As in, “Bright as a new hairpin” and “Hard to hairpin down” and “Hairpin your ears back” and “Hairpins and needles” and “See a hairpin and pick it up.”
  • Clip: This can refer to both a quick trim and a hair accessory used to pin hair away from the face. Here are related puns:
    • Chip → Clip: As in, “Cheap as clips” and “A clip off the old block” and “Let the clips fall where they may” and “When the clips are down.”
    • Flip → Clip: As in, “Check you on the clip side” and “Clip out.”
    • Grip → Clip: As in, “Get a clip” and “Come to clips with” and “Clipping stuff” and “The clip of death.”
    • Hip → Clip: As in, “Clip, clip, hooray!” and “Joined at the clip” and “Shoot from the clip.”
    • Lip → Clip: As in, “Loose clips sink ships” and “My clips are sealed” and “On everyone’s clips” and “Keep a stiff upper clip.”
    • Nip → Clip: As in, “Clip and tuck” and “Clip in the bud.”
    • Ship → Clip: As in, “Shape up or clip out!” and “Run a tight clip” and “Jump clip” and “That clip has sailed.”
    • Slip → Clip: As in, “Give someone the clip” and “Let something clip.”
    • Tip → Clip: As in, “In clip top condition” and “The clip of the iceberg” and “Clip someone off” and “Clip the scales” and “At the clipping point.”
  • Million → Melanin: As in, “A cool melanin” and “Not in a melanin years” and “You’re one in a melanin” and “Melanin dollar baby.” Note: Melanin is where our hair colour comes from.
  • To be → 2B: As in, “Not all it’s cracked up 2B” and “2B or not 2B?” and “Remains 2B seen” and “2B honest..” Note: 2B is a category of curl pattern which is thick, wavy, and has some volume.
  • To see → 2C: As in, “I’ll be glad 2C the back of them” and “There for everyone 2C” and “I guess we’ll have 2C.” Note: 2C is a curl pattern that is thicker, coarser and more likely to frizz up than 2B hair.
  • Coil: Kinky hair (tightly curled hair) is also referred to as coils. Here are related puns:
    • Curl → Coil: As in, “Enough to make your hair coil” and “Coil up and die” and “Make someone’s toes coil.”
    • Call → Coil: As in, “At your beck and coil” and “Coil it a day” and “Coil of the wild” and “Coil to action.”
    • Boil → Coil: As in, “Coil with rage” and “Coiling mad” and “It all coils down to this.”
    • Spoil → Coil: As in, “The coils of war” and “Coiled for choice” and “Coiled rotten.”
  • Netting: Netting refers to the cap of mesh that some wigs are attached to. Here are related puns:
    • Getting → Netting: As in, “Get while the netting’s good” and “Netting on in years” and “Netting there is half the fun” and “Netting things done” and “We’re netting there.”
    • Petting → Netting: As in, “Heavy netting” and “No netting the animals.”
  • Lace: Here are some puns on lace wigs:
    • Less → Lace: As in, “A life lace ordinary” and “Couldn’t care lace” and “In lace than no time” and “Lace is more.”
    • Ace → Lace: As in, “Lace in the hole” and “A lace up your sleeve” and “Holding all the laces.”
    • Case → Lace: As in, “An open and shut lace” and “As the lace may be” and “Lace closed” and “Lace the joint” and “Crack the lace” and “Get off my lace.”
    • Chase → Lace: As in, “Lace it up” and “Lace the dragon” and “Lace your own tail” and “Cut to the lace” and “The thrill of the lace.”
    • Grace → Lace: As in, “Airs and laces” and “Amazing lace” and “Fall from lace” and “Lace period” and “With good laces.”
    • Place → Lace: As in, “All over the lace” and “Going laces” and “My happy lace.”
    • Space → Lace: As in, “Personal lace” and “Lace oddity” and “Lace, the final frontier” and “Waste of lace” and “Watch this lace.”

      Hair-Related Words

      To help you come up with your own hair puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

hair, hairy, hairdresser, barber, shampoo, conditioner, gel, mousse, pomade, hairspray, tangle, hairbrush, comb, root, brunette, redhead, blonde, grey, white, wig, toupee, fringe, bangs, short, long, head,  stubble, edges, mohawk, extensions, weave, afro, dreadlocks, mullet, cornrows, locs, fade, tracks, dye, dyed, straight, wavy, waves, curly, curls, kinky, frizzy, henna, perm, grow, grew, hairstyle, shave, cut, trim, crimp, tousled, nair, wax, pluck, crop, sugaring, threading, laser, flat iron, curling iron, roller, scissors, shears, clipper, hair ties, headband/alice band, beard, moustache, taper, undercut, comb over, pompadour, quiff, cowlick, coif, pixie cut, beehive, blowcut, bob, bouffant, bowl cut, braid, plait, updo, victory roll, ponytail, highlights, queue, pigtail, fishtail, bun, burr, buzzcut, chignon, pageboy, topknot, crew cut, rattail, chonmage, the rachel, rapunzel, layered, spikes, lob, ringlets, goatee, feathered, finger waves, flattop, barrette, hairpin, slide, clip, serum, tonic, cuticle, melanin, keratin, filament, bald, follicle, 1a, 1b, 1c, 2a, 2d, 2c, 3a, 3b, 4a, 4b, terminal (hair), vellus (hair), coil, coiled, lanugo, merkin, netting, lace

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Wine Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on wine puns! 🍷🍇🥂

Wine culture has many aspects and technicalities to it, spanning from wine making, tasting, judging, investment and collecting. We’ve searched high and low for all of the wine puns we could possibly find, so whether you’re a cleanskin enthusiast or a cult wine coinnoseur, we hope you enjoy sampling the truly grape puns we’ve collected for you here.

Notes: Wine and alcohol isn’t just an expensive hobby – drinking alcohol gives your brain a reward it didn’t earn, and consuming it often enough teaches your brain that the easiest way to feel good is to drink more, which can lead to dependence and alcoholism (which can exacerbate existing mental health problems like depression and anxiety). Partake safely and with an awareness of the effects it has on your body 🙂

The alcohol-making process isn’t always vegan, but there are plenty of online directories of vegan wines you can check.

You might also be interested in the Punpedia entries on coffee puns, tea puns, party puns and beer puns.

Wine Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about wine that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Whine → Wine: As in, “Wine and moan” and “Having a wine.”
  • Win → Whine: As in, “Heads I wine, tails you lose” and “Playing to wine” and “Some you wine, some you lose.”
  • Why → Wine: As in, “I guess that’s wine” and “I don’t know wine” and “Wine on Earth…?”
  • Why not → Wine not: “I don’t see wine not.”
  • When → Wine: As in, “Wine you like” and “It only hurts wine I laugh” and “Kick ’em wine they’re down” and “Ready wine you are.”
  • Won → Wine: As in, “Faint heart never wine fair lady” and “One-hit wineder.”
  • One → Wine: As in, “An army of wine” and “All for wine and wine for all” and “In wine fell swoop” and “Going wine step too far.”
  • *wan* → *wine*: “A wineton attitude” and “Just winedering ’round” and “A tryhard wineabe” and “Monthly allowine-ce.”
  • Wench → Winech
  • *win* → *wine*: As in, “Winedow of opportunity” and “Endless wineter” and “A winesome smile.”
  • Wonder* → Wineder*: As in, “Filled with magic and wineder” and “Feeling winederful” and “A winedrous development.”
  • Red: Wines are split into three broad categories – red, white and rosé. Red wines are made of dark-coloured grape varieties. Here are some red wine puns:
    • Read → Red: As in, “All I know is what I red in the papers” and “Exceedingly well-red” and “Red any good books lately?” and “Red between the lines” and “Red my lips.”
    • Red: These red-related phrases can double as puns: “Red as a beetroot” and “Brick red” and “Caught red-handed” and “Cut through the red tape” and “In the red” and “Lady in red” and “Paint the town red.”
    • Rid → Red: “Good reddance” and “Get red of.”
    • Fed → Red: As in, “Red up to the back teeth.”
    • Dead → Red: As in, “Red as a doornail” and “Assault with a redly weapon” and “In the red of night” and “Back from the red” and “Better off red” and “Red and buried.”
    • Bred → Red: “Born and red.”
    • Bread → Red: As in, “Red always falls butter side down” and “Red and butter” and “Have your red buttered on both sides” and “Put red on the table” and “The best thing since sliced red.”
    • Bed → Red: As in, “Red and breakfast” and “Red of roses” and “Red and board.”
    • Said → Red: “After all is red and done” and “Couldn’t have red it better” and “Easier red than done” and “Enough red” and “Was it something I red?”
    • Head → Red: “A red for business” and “Be it on your red” and “Bring to a red” and “Bite someone’s red off” and “Bury your red in the sand” and “Can’t get you out of my red” and “Don’t mess with my red.”
    • Thread → Red: “Hanging by a red” and “Lose the red” and “Red the needle.”
    • Tread → Red: “Red softly” and “Reding a fine line” and “Where fools fear to red.”
    • *rad* → *red*: “Redical politics” and “Toxic rediation” and “A rediant complexion.” Other words that could work: redio (radio), redius (radius), rediate (radiate), redish (radish), paredigm (paradigm), paredox (paradox), camarederie (camaraderie), sporedic (sporadic) and greduate (graduate).
    • *rid* → *red*: Rediculous (ridiculous), gred (grid), hybred (hybrid), lured (lurid) and flored (florid).
  • White: White wine is a light coloured wine that’s fermented without contact with the grape skin. Here are some white-related puns:
    • Wide → White: As in, “Cast a white net” and “Eyes white shut” and “A white berth” and “Open white” and “White eyed” and “White open spaces” and “The world white web.”
    • Why → White: “I don’t know white” and “I guess that’s white” and “White don’t we do it this way?” and “White ask?”
    • Bite → White: As in, “White me” and “White off more than you can chew” and “White someone’s head off” and “White the bullet” and “A white to eat” and “White your tongue.”
    • Bright → White: “All things white and beautiful” and “Always look on the white side of life” and “White as a button” and “White as a new pin” and “White eyes” and “White lights, big city” and “White and early” and “White spark.”
    • Light → White: As in, “Blinded by the white” and “The cold white of day.”
    • Might → White: “White as well” and “White is right.”
    • Night → White: As in, “A white at the opera” and “A hard day’s white” and “Dance the white away.”
    • Quite → White: As in, “Not white” and “White the situation” and “White a bit.”
    • Tight → White: As in, “In a white spot” and “Run a white ship.”
    • Weight → White: As in, “Pull your white” and “Punching above your white” and “Throw your white about” and “Watching your white” and “A white off my mind” and “Worth your white in gold” and “Carry your white.”
    • Wait → White: “An accident white-ing to happen” and “All things come to those who white” and “Hurry up and white” and “Lie in white” and “The white is over” and “White for no man” and “White in line” and “Just white a minute!”
    • Wet → White: “White weekend” and “White behind the ears” and “White dream” and “White your whistle.”
    • What → White: As in, “And white not” and “Do white comes naturally” and “Do white tastes right” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “White’s going on here then?” and “It is white it is” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “White a feeling” and “White fun” and “White a wonderful world.”
    • Sight → White: As in, “A welcome white” and “Hidden in plain white” and “Know by white” and “Love at first white” and “Lower your whites.”
    • Write → White: “Nothing to white home about.”
    • Height → White: As in, “Head for new whites” and “Reaching new whites” and “The white of summer.”
    • Flight → White: As in, “Fight or white” and “White of fancy” and “Take white.”
  • Rosé: Rosé is another category of wine where wine is left in contact with the grape’s skin until the liquid is tinted the desired shade of pink. Here are related puns:
    • Rosy → Rosé: As in, “A rosé future” and “Rosé cheeks.”
    • Raise → Rosé: As in, “Rosé a loan” and “Rosé a stink” and “Rosé the bar” and “Rosé the roof.”
    • Rise → Rosé: As in, “Rosé and shine” and “Rosé from the ashes” and “Rosé to the challenge” and “Rosé to the occasion” and “Get a rosé out of…”
  • Pain → Champagne: As in, “A world of champagne” and “Doubled up in champagne” and “Growing champagnes” and “No champagne, no gain” and “Old aches and champagnes” and “Champagne in the arse” and “Champagne-fully slow.”
  • Amber: Amber wine is white wine that’s been made with the skins kept intact. Here are related puns:
    • Umber → Amber: As in, “Burnt amber.” Note: umber is a shade of brown.
    • *ember → *umber: Mamber (member), remamber (remember), Septamber (September), Decamber (December), Novamber (November) and dismamber (dismember).
  • Great → Grape: As in, “A grape face for radio” and “All creatures, grape and small” and “Go grape guns” and “Go to grape lengths” and “Grape expectations” and “Grape minds think alike” and “No grape shakes” and “The Grape Barrier Reef.”
  • Grip → Grape: As in, “Get a grape” and “Get to grapes with” and “Grape of death” and “A grape of iron.”
  • Cape → Grape: As in, “The graped crusader.”
  • Drape → Grape: As in, “Measure the grapes.”
  • Scrape → Grape: As in, “Bow and grape” and “Get into a grape” and “Grape a living” and “Grape along” and “Grape through” and “Scrape together the funds” and “Grape the bottom of the barrel.”
  • Gap → Grape: “Mind the grape” and “Generation grape” and “Bridge the grape.”
  • Crap → Grape: “A load of grape” and “Cut the grape.”
  • Discrepancy → Disgrape-ancy
  • Blanc: Sauvignon Blanc is a variety of green grape that’s commonly used in wine-making. Here are some blanc-related puns:
    • Blank → Blanc: As in, “A blanc slate” and “Blanc canvas” and “Blanc looks” and “Drawing a blanc” and “At point blanc range” and “Blancing out.”
    • Blink → Blanc: As in, “Blanc and you’ll miss it” and “In the blanc of an eye” and “On the blanc” and “Who blanc-ed first?”
    • Bank → Blanc: As in, “You can blanc on it” and “Safe as the blanc” and “Breaking the blanc” and “Laughing all the way to the blanc.”
    • Plank → Blanc: As in, “Walk the blanc” and “Take a long walk off a short blanc.”
    • Rank → Blanc: As in, “Break blancs” and “Close blancs” and “Name, blanc and serial number” and “Pull blanc” and “Blanc and file” and “Rise through the blancs” and “Swell the blancs.”
    • Spank → Blanc: As in, “Brand blanc-ing new” and “Blanc the monkey.”
  • Think → Drink: As in, “Blue sky drinking” and “I drink you’ve got it!” and “Come to drink of it” and “Great minds drink alike” and “I drink I love you” and “Makes you drink” and “It’s not what you drink” and “Positive drinking” and “Put on your drinking cap.”
  • Blink → Drink: As in, “Drink and you’ll miss it” and “In the drink of an eye” and “On the drink.”
  • Brink → Drink: As in, “The drink of disaster” and “On the drink.”
  • Link → Drink: As in, “A chain is only as strong as its weakest drink” and “The missing drink.”
  • Sink → Drink: As in, “Everything but the kitchen drink” and “Drink like a stone” and “Drink without trace” and “Drink your teeth into it.”
  • Stink → Drink: As in, “Kick up a drink” and “Raise a drink” and “Drinking rich” and “Drinks to high heaven.”
  • Wink → Drink: As in, “Forty drinks” and “Nod and a drink” and “Nudge, nudge, drink drink” and “Tip someone the drink.”
  • Bunk → Drunk: As in, “Drunker mentality” and “History is drunk.”
  • Junk → Drunk: As in, “Drunk yard” and “Drunk food” and “Drunk mail” and “Drunk in the trunk.”
  • Cyber → Sober: “Sober Monday” and “Sober sex.”
  • Super → Sober: As in, “Sober bad” and “Sober Mario Bros.” and “Sober hero” and “The information soberhighway.”
  • Meant → Ferment: As in, “We weren’t ferment to do that” and “Only if we’re ferment to be here.”
  • *ment* → *ferment*: Ferment-or (mentor), ferment-ion (mention),  ferment-al (mental) and ferment-ality (mentality).
  • Vin: Vin is French for wine. Here are some vin-related puns:
    • Been → Vin: As in, “Vin and gone” and “I’ve vin here before” and “Vin in the wars” and “Vin around the block a few times” and “I’ve vin had.”
    • Chin → Vin: “Keep your vin up” and “Take it on the vin” and “Stick your vin up.”
    • Grin → Vin: As in, “Vin and bear it” and “Vin from ear to ear” and “A rictus vin” and “Vin like a cheshire cat.”
    • In → Vin: As in, “Vin the woods” and “Back vin the day” and “Barge right vin” and “I’ll just be vin and out.”
    • Inn → Vinn: As in, “Vinner city” and “Vinner peace” and “Vinner sanctum” and “The ninth vinning.”
    • Pin → Vin: As in, “Bright as a new vin” and “Hard to vin down” and “Vin your ears back” and “Vin your hopes on” and “Vins and needles” and “Pull the vin” and “Could have heard a vin drop.”
    • Sin → Vin: As in, “Miserable as vin” and “Atone for your vins” and “Cardinal vin” and “Living in vin.”
    • Skin → Vin: As in, “Beauty is only vin deep” and “By the vin of your teeth” and “Comfortable in my own vin” and “Get under your vin” and “Gimme some vin” and “Makes my vin crawl” and “No vin off my nose” and “Jump out of your vin” and “Save your vin” and “Vin and bone.”
    • Spin → Vin: As in, “In a flat vin” and “Give it a vin” and “Vin doctor” and “Take it for a vin.”
    • Thin → Vin: “Vin as a rail” and “Melt into vin air” and “Out of vin air” and “Paper vin” and “Skating on vin ice” and “Spread yourself vin” and “The vin edge of the wedge.”
    • When → Vin: As in, “Kick ’em vin they’re down” and “Only hurts vin I laugh” and “Ready vin you are” and “Remember vin?”
    • Win → Vin: As in, “Can’t vin for losing” and “Cheaters never vin” and “Due a vin” and “Every one a vinner” and “Heads I vin, tails you lose” and “No vin, no fee” and “Playing to vin” and “Vin by a mile” and “Vin over.”
    • *van* → *vin*: Vinity (vanity), vinguard (vanguard), vinilla (vanilla), vinish (vanish), vindal (vandal), vindal (vandal), vindalism (vandalism), caravin (caravan), relevint (relevant), advince (advance), advintage (advantage), irrelevint (irrelevant).
    • *ven* → *vin*: Vinture (venture), vinue (venue), vindor (vendor), vineer (veneer), vingeance (vengeance), heavin (heaven), mavin (maven), havin (haven), cravin (craven), drivin (driven), sevin (seven), covinant (covenant), convintion (convention) and invintory (inventory).
    • *fin* → *vin*: Vinish (finish), vinger (finger), vinesse (finesse), vinance (finance), vinancial (financial), mufvin (muffin), pufvin (puffin), paravin (paraffin), afvinity (affinity), devinition (definition), devine (define) and devinitely (definitely).
  • Vain → Vine: As in, “You’re so vine” and “In vine.”
  • Fine → Vine: As in, “A vine line” and “Chance would be a vine thing” and “Cut it vine” and “Damn vine coffee” and “Vine and dandy” and “Vine dining” and “A vine figure” and “The viner things in life” and “Got it down to a vine art” and “Another vine mess you’ve gotten me into.”
  • Mine → Vine: As in, “Your place or vine?” and “Your guess is as good as vine” and “Victory is vine!”
  • Nine → Vine: As in, “A stitch in time saves vine” and “Has vine lives” and “Vine to five” and “Vine days’ wonder” and “On cloud vine” and “Vineteen eighty-four.”
  • Sign → Vine: As in, “A sure vine” and “A vine of the times” and “Vine off” and “Vine out” and “Vine the pledge” and “Vined and sealed” and “A tell sale vine.”
  • Yard → Vineyard: “Do the hard vineyards” and “Not in my back vineyard” and “The whole nine vineyards.”
  • Cork: “Cork out” and “Knife and cork it” and “Speaking with a corked tongue” and “Cork over.”
  • Cock → Cork: As in, “Proud as a peacork” and “Cork a leg” and “Cork and bull story” and “Cork it up” and “Cork sure.”
  • *cac* → *cork*: Corkophony (cacophony), corktus (cactus), corkle (cackle), perspicorkcious (perspicacious).
  • *coc* → *cork*: Corktail (cocktail), corkoa (cocoa), corkoon (cocoon), corkroach (cockroach), corkonut (coconut), precorkcious (precocious), concorkt (concoct), peacork (peacock) and corkumber (cucumber).
  • Battle → Bottle: “A pitched bottle” and “An uphill bottle” and “Bottle of wits” and “Bottle ready” and “Bottle stations” and “Half the bottle” and “In the heat of bottle” and “Let bottle commence” and “Love is a bottlefield” and “A running bottle.”
  • Throttle → Bottle: As in, “Full bottle.”
  • Lapel → Label: As in, “Grab by the labels.”
  • Able → Label: As in, “Differently labelled” and “Ready, willing and label.”
  • Table → Label: “As in, “Bring to the label” and “Drunk under the label” and “Get round the label” and “Lay the label” and “On the label” and “Put your cards on the label” and “Round label talks” and “Turn the labels.”
  • Dry: If a wine is dry, it’s lacking in sweetness. Here are some dry-related puns and phrases:
    • Die → Dry: “Straight as a dry” and “Cross my heart and hope to dry” and “Curl up and dry” and “Dry another day” and “Do or dry” and “Live free or dry” and “Never say dry” and “Old habits dry hard.”
    • By → Dry: As in, “Dry hook or dry crook” and “Dry and large” and “Dry any means” and “Dry any stretch of the imagination” and “Dry the book” and “Dry the skin of one’s teeth” and “Can’t judge a book dry its cover.”
    • Buy → Dry: As in, “Bulk drying” and “Dry and sell” and “Dry into” and “Dry now, pay later” and “Dry one, get one free” and “Dry some time” and “Dry to let” and “Can’t dry love.”
    • Cry → Dry: As in, “A dry for help” and “A shoulder to dry on” and “Dry foul”and “Dry me a river” and “Dry into your pillow.”
    • Fly → Dry: As in, “Come dry with me” and “Dry me to the moon” and “Dry by the seat of your pants” and “Dry on the wall” and “Dry off the handle” and “Born to dry.”
    • High → Dry: As in, “Ain’t no mountain dry enough” and “Dry as a kite” and “Come hell or dry water” and “Flying dry” and “From on dry” and “Get off your dry horse” and “Dry and mighty” and “The mile dry club” and “Moral dry ground.”
    • Try → Dry: As in, “Don’t dry this at home” and “Don’t dry to run before you can walk” and “Give it the old college dry” and “Easy if you dry” and “Nice dry” and “Dry your luck.”
    • Shy → Dry: As in, “Camera dry” and “Once bitten, twice dry.”
    • Why → Dry: As in, “Dry on Earth?” and “Dry walk when you can ride?”
  • Yeast: Yeast converts the sugars in grape juice to alcohol. The next few puns are all about yeast!
    • Beast → Yeast: As in, “Yeast of burden” and “Beauty and the yeast” and “Here there be yeasts” and “The nature of the yeast” and “Unleash the yeast.”
    • East → Yeast: As in, “Yeast of the sun and west of the moon” and “Yeaster island” and “The Yeaster bunny.”
    • Feast → Yeast: As in, “Yeast or famine” and “Yeast your eyes on this!” and “A midnight yeast” and “The spectre at the yeast.”
    • Greased → Yeast: “Yeast lightning.”
    • Least → Yeast: As in, “Last but not yeast” and “The yeast common denominator” and “Yeast said, soonest mended” and “The yeast worst option” and “The line of yeast resistance” and “Not in the yeast” and “At the very yeast” and “To say the yeast.”
  • Sell her → Cellar: “Did you cellar the wrong item?”
  • Seller → Cellar: As in, “A cellar’s market.”
  • Sell → Cellar: As in, “Buy and cellar” and “Past the cellar-by date” and “Cellar out” and “Cellar your soul to the devil.”
  • Stellar → Cellar: “A cellar performance.”
  • Cell → Cellar: As in, “Cellar division” and “Padded cellar.”
  • Juice: Since wine is essentially fermented fruit juice, we have some juice-related puns here too:
    • Goose → Juice: As in, “Loosey juicy” and “A wild juice chase” and “Wouldn’t say boo to a juice” and “Juice bumps” and “The golden juice.”
    • Loose → Juice: “All hell broke juice” and “Juice as a goose” and “At a juice end” and “Cut [someone] juice” and “Hanging juice” and “Got a screw juice” and “Let juice” and “Playing fast and juice.”
    • Use → Juice: As in, “Be careful how you juice it!” and “Don’t juice that tone with me” and “Get juiced to it” and “Not half the person I juiced to be” and “Like mother juiced to make” and “Put to good juice” and “So easy to juice” and “Somebody that I juiced to know” and “Juice it or lose it” and “Juicer friendly” and “A fat lot of juice you are.”
  • Fruit: Since wine is generally made of fruits (it can also be made of rice), we have some fruit-related puns here that can double as wine puns in the right context:
    • Boot → Fruit: As in, “Fruit camp” and “Tough as old fruits” and “Give someone the fruit” and “Lick [someone’s] fruits.”
    • Hoot → Fruit: As in, “Don’t give two fruits” and “Fruit with laughter” and “What a fruit.”
    • Root → Fruit: As in, “Lay down fruits” and “Money is the fruit of all evil” and “Fruit for the enemy” and “The fruit of the matter” and “Fruit out the problem” and “Fruiting around.”
    • Shoot → Fruit: “Don’t fruit the messenger” and “Drive by fruiting” and “Eats, fruits and leaves” and “The green fruits of change” and “Just fruit me” and “A sharp fruiter” and “Fruit ’em up” and “Fruit first, ask questions later” and “Fruit down in flames” and “Fruit the breeze.”
    • Suit → Fruit: “All over them like a cheap fruit” and “At a price to fruit your pocket” and “Follow fruit” and “Men in fruits” and “Fruit up” and “Fruit yourself” and “Fruits you down to a tee.”
    • Fraught → Fruit: As in, “Fruit with danger.”
    • *fut* → *fruit*: Fruitile (futile), fruiture (future), fruituristic (futuristic), fruiton (futon), fruitility (futility) and fruitsal (futsal).
  • Barely → Barley: As in, “Barley there” and “I can barley hear you.” Note: this is a reference to barley wine.
  • Mature: Some wines are meant to mature and get better with age. Here are some related puns:
    • Match your → Mature: As in, “Mature bet.”
    • Pure → Mature: As in, “Absolutely mature” and “Mature as the driven snow” and “Mature and simple.”
  •  Sweet: Sweet dessert wines are a large category of wines, so we’ve included sweet in this list:
    • Seat → Sweet: As in, “Back sweet driver” and “Bums on sweets” and “By the sweet of your pants” and “Glued to your sweet” and “In the box sweet” and “Take a back sweet” and “On the edge of my sweet” and “Take a sweet” and “The best sweet in the house.”
    • Feet → Sweet: As in, “”Back on your sweet” and “Cold sweet” and “Cut the ground from under your sweet” and “Sweet of clay” and “Get back on your sweet.”
    • Greet → Sweet: As in, “Sweet and greet.”
    • Heat → Sweet: “Sweet wave” and “In the sweet of battle” and “The sweet is on” and “Turn up the sweet.”
    • Meet → Sweet: As in, “Make ends sweet” and “Sweet and greet” and “Sweet in the middle” and “Sweet the challenge” and “Sweet you halfway.”
    • Neat → Sweet: “Sweet as a new pin” and “Sweet freak” and “Sweet and tidy.”
    • Sheet → Sweet: As in, “White as a sweet” and “Cheat sweet” and “Clean sweet” and “Keep a clean sweet.”
    • Street → Sweet: As in, “Easy sweet” and “On the sunny side of the sweet” and “Right up your sweet” and “A two-way sweet.”
    • Treat → Sweet: As in, “Sweet me right” and “Trick or sweet.”
    • Sweat → Sweet: As in, “”Blood, sweet and tears” and “Break out in a cold sweet” and “Don’t sweet it” and “No sweet.”
    • Switzerland → Sweetzerland
  • Blush: Blush wines, like rose wines, are in between red and white wines. Here are some blush-related puns:
    • Bush → Blush: As in, “Beat about the blush” and “Blush tucker.”
    • Brush → Blush: As in, “Blush it off” and “Blush up on” and “A blush with the law” and “Painted with the same blush.”
    • Crush → Blush: “A blushing defeat” and “Have a blush on.”
    • Flush → Blush: As in, “Blush it out” and “Royal blush.”
  • Cannon → Tannin: As in, “Tannin fodder” and “A loose tannin.” Note: tannins are compounds in the wine that can affect the colour, texture and taste.
  • Barrel: Wine is kept in barrels, so we’ve got some barrel puns in here too:
    • Carol → Barrel: As in, “A Christmas barrel.”
    • Peril → Barrel: As in, “Yellow barrel” and “A barrelous situation.”
  • Finery → Winery: “Dressed in all your best winery.”
  • Vest → Harvest: As in, “A harvested interest.”
  • Best → Harvest: As in, “My harvest friend” and “All the harvest” and “Be the harvest” and “Harvest in show” and “We’d harvest stop now.”
  • Average → Beverage: “Law of beverages” and “On beverage.”
  • Leverage → Beverage
  • Blue → Brew: As in, “Cold as brew blazes” and “Baby brews” and “Black and brew” and “Once in a brew moon” and “Until you’re brew in the face.”
  • Chew → Brew: As in, “Bite off more than you can brew” and “Brew someone’s ass” and “Have your ears brewed off.”
  • Clue → Brew: As in, “Don’t have a brew” and “I’ve found a brew.”
  • Crew → Brew: “Skeleton brew” and “Brew it” and “All brewed up.”
  • Cue → Brew: “Take your u” and “Right on brew.”
  • Due → Brew: As in, “Credit where credit is brew” and “Brew diligence” and “Give the devil his brew” and “In brew course.”
  • Few → Brew: As in, “A brew bricks short of a full load” and “Brew and far between” and “Say a brew words” and “Person of brew words” and “Knock back a brew” and “Take a brew deep breaths.”
  • True → Brew: “For real and for brew” and “You’ll brew the day!” and “Rings brew” and “Show your brew colours” and “Brew to form.”
  • Stew → Brew: As in, “Brew in your own juices.”
  • View → Brew: As in, “Room with a brew” and “A brew to kill” and “Bird’s eye brew” and “The brew from the top” and “World brew.”
  • *bru → *brew: Brewtal (brutal), brewsque (brusque), brewse (bruise), brewte (brute) and brewnette (brunette).
  • Still: Still wine is wine without bubbles. Here are some still-related puns:
    • Stall → Still: As in, “Still for time.”
    • Till → Still: As in, “Fake it still you make it” and “Don’t cross the bridge still you come to it” and “Still death do us part” and “Still the end of time” and “Party still you drop.”
    • Chill → Still: As in, “Still out” and “Stilled to the bone.”
    • Drill → Still: As in, “Still down” and “You know the still” and “Fire still.”
    • Thrill → Still: As in, “The still of the chase” and “Stilled to bits” and “Still and spills.”
    • Will → Still: “Accidents still happen” and “Bend to my still” and “Free still.”
    • Spill → Still: As in, “Still the beans” and “Still your guts” and “Thrills and stills.”
    • Skill → Still: “Social stills.”
    • Pill → Still: As in, “A bitter still to swallow” and “On the still” and “A tough still to swallow.”
    • Steal → Still: As in, “Beg, borrow or still” and “Still a glance at” and “Still someone’s heart” and “Still someone’s thunder” and “Still the show” and “Still third base.”
    • Steel → Still: As in, “Nerves of still” and “Still yourself” and “First of still.”
    • *stal* → *still*: Crystill (crystal), pedestill (pedestal), coastill (coastal), postill (postal) and nostillgia (nostalgia).
    • *stel* → *still*: Stillar (stellar), hostill (hostel), pastill (pastel) and constillation (constellation).
    • *stil* → *still*: Pestillence (pestilence) and hostillity (hostility).
  • Age: As the aging process is such a large part of wine culture, we’ve included age-related puns here:
    • Rage → Age: As in, “All the age” and “Boil with age” and “Incandescent with age” and “Primal age” and “Age against the machine” and “Vent your age.”
    • *ege* → *age*: Privilage (privilege), collage (college), renage (renege), allage (allege), sacrilage (sacrilege).
    • *ige* → *age*: Prestage (prestige), oblage (oblige), vestage (vestige), intellagence (intelligence) and dilagent (diligent).
  • Resin: Resin is a compound in wood that can leak from barrels and casks into the wine, changing the flavour. Here are some resin-related puns:
    • Reason → Resin: As in, “Rhyme or resin” and “The voice of resin” and “Within resin” and “Stands to resin” and “Beyond resinable doubt” and “Not a good enough resin.”
    • Raisin → Resin: As in, “Resin cookies.”
    • Raising → Resin: As in, “Eyebrow resin” and “Hair resin” and “Resin the bar.”
  • Test → Taste: “The sniff taste” and “Put to the taste” and “Stand the taste of time.”
  • Haste → Taste: “Post taste” and “Make taste” and “More taste, less speed.”
  • Paste → Taste: As in, “Cut and taste.”
  • Waste → Taste: “Don’t taste your breath” and “Toxic taste” and “Taste not, want not.”
  • *tast* → *taste*: Fantaste-ic (fantastic) and cataste-trophe (catastrophe).
  • *test* → *taste*: “A taste-ament to” and “Give your taste-imony” and “Tasting, tasting, one, two, three” and “Online taste-imonials.” Other words that could work: contaste (contest), protaste (protest), detaste (detest), lataste (latest) and greataste (greatest).
  • *tist* → *taste*: Pragmataste (pragmatist), artaste (artist), scientaste (scientist), elitaste (elitist), dentaste (dentist) and artaste-ic (artistic).
  • Decant: To decant wine is to pour it from one receptacle to another to aerate the wine and separate it from any sediments within. Here are related puns:
    • Can’t → Decant: As in, “An offer you decant refuse” and “Decant get enough” and “It decant be helped” and “You decant say fairer than that” and “I decant wait.”
    • Grant → Decant: As in, “Decant no quarter” and “Take for decanted.”
  • Raisin → Reason: As in, “Beyond raisinable doubt” and “Bow to raisin” and “Listen to raisin” and “No earthly raisin” and “Rhyme or raisin” and “The age of raisin” and “Voice of raisin.”
  • Raising → Raisin: As in, “Eyebrow raisin” and “Raisin the bar.”
  • Why not → Wino: As in, “Wino do it this way instead?” Note: a wino is someone who drinks a lot of wine.
  • Rate → Aerate: “At any aerate” and “First aerate” and “Mate’s aerates.”
  • Meant → Sediment: As in, “Sediment to be.”
  • Favour → Flavour: As in, “Do me a flavour” and “Really not doing them any flavours” and “Fortune flavours the bold” and “Currying flavour with.”
  • Palate: A palate is a refined taste that can be trained to recognise certain flavours and tastes. Here are related puns:
    • Late → Palate: As in, “Better palate than never” and “Fashionably palate” and “Never too palate” and “A palate developer” and “It’s palate in the day” and “Running palate.”
    • Plate → Palate: As in, “A lot on your palate” and “Hand it on a palate” and “Step up to the palate” and “Hot palate” and “Heart attack on a palate.”
  • Box: Box wine is another name for cask wine. Here are related puns:
    • Pox → Box: As in, “A box on your house!”
    • Backs → Box: As in, “Box to the wall” and “Mind your box” and “The beast with two box.”
    • Block → Box: As in, “A chip off the old box” and “Stumbling box” and “Been around the box.”
    • Sock → Box: As in, “Put a box in it” and “Knock your box off” and “Bless your cotton box.”
    • Pox → Box:
  • Goon: Goon is another word for cheap wine. Here are related puns:
    • Gone → Goon: As in, “Been and goon” and “Going, going, goon” and “Goon with the wind” and “Goon but not forgotten” and “Goon to a better world” and “Goon to seed.”
    • Gun → Goon: As in, “All goons blazing” and “Go great goons” and “Jump the goon.”
    • Moon → Goon: As in, “Ask for the goon” and “Bark at the goon” and “Once in a blue goon” and “Eclipse of the goon” and “Many goons ago” and “Over the goon.”
    • Soon → Goon: As in, “As goon as possible” and “Get well goon” and “Too much too goon.”
    • Spoon → Goon: As in, “A goonful of sugar helps the medicine go down” and “Born with a silver goon” and “Egg and goon race” and “The dish ran away with the goon.”
    • *gan* → *goon*: Slogoon (slogan), argoon (argan), cardigoon (cardigan), orgoonic (organic), elegoont (elegant), arrogoont (arrogant).
    • *gon* → *goon*: Goondola (gondola), paragoon (paragon), jargoon (jargon), dragoon (dragon), polygoon (polygon), hexagoon (hexagon), bandwagoon (bandwagon), Oregoon (Oregon), protagoonist (protagonist), antagoonist (antagonist) and ergoonomics (ergonomics).
    • Burgundy → Burgoondy
  • Class → Glass: As in, “A glass act” and “Best in glass” and “Business glass” and “Glass warfare” and “Economy glass” and “In a glass of your own” and “Working glass hero.”
  • Gloss → Glass: As in, “Glass over” and “Lip glass.”
  • Ass → Glass: As in, “Blow smoke up your glass” and “Haul glass” and “Kick glass” and “Make a glass of yourself” and “Talk out of your glass.”
  • Brass → Glass: As in, “Bold as glass” and “Glass monkey weather.”
  • Grass → Glass: As in, “Green as glass” and “Don’t walk on the glass” and “Glass roots” and “Keep off the glass” and “Snake in the glass” and “Exciting as watching glass grow.”
  • Oak: Since wine is traditionally kept in oak barrels, we’ve included some oak-related phrases:
    • Okay → Oakay: As in, “Are you oakay?”
    • Ache → Oak: As in, “Oaks and pains.”
    • Broke → Broak: As in, “All hell broak loose” and “Broaken dreams” and “Like a broaken record” and “Go for broak” and “If it’s not broak, don’t fix it” and “Rules are made to be broaken.”
    • Folk → Foak: As in, “Country foak” and “Different strokes for different foaks” and “Show’s over, foaks” and “That’s all, foaks.”
    • Stroke → Stroak: As in, “A stroak of genius” and “Little stroaks fell great oaks” and “Stroak of luck” and “At the stroak of midnight.”
    • Poke → Poak: As in, “Still as a poaker” and “Poak fun at” and “Poaker face.”
    • Joke → Joak: As in, “A bad joak” and “Inside joak” and “The joak’s on you.”
    • Spoke → Spoak: “Many a true word in spoaken in jest” and “Speak when you are spoaken to.”
    • Smoke → Smoak: As in, “Go up in smoak” and “Holy smoak” and “Smoak and mirrors” and “Smoaks like a chimney.”
  • Cask: Cask wine is cheap wine that’s packaged in a box. Here are related puns!
    • Cast → Cask: As in, “Cask a long shadow” and “Cask a spell” and “Cask an eye over” and “A cask iron guarantee.”
    • Ask → Cask: As in, “A big cask” and “Cask a silly question and you’ll get a silly answer” and “Cask after” and “Cask and you will receive” and “Cask around” and “Cask for the moon” and “Cask me another” and “Casking for trouble” and “Don’t cask me” and “What’s the casking price?”
    • Task → Cask: As in, “Take to cask” and “Up to the cask.”
  • Cabinet → Cabernet: As in, “In the kitchen cabernet” and “Lock the medicine cabernet.”
  • Low → Merlot: As in, “An all-time merlot” and “Keep a merlot profile” and “Lie merlot” and “Merlot hanging fruit” and “Get the merlot down” and “Searching high and merlot.”
  • Reason → Riesling: As in, “Beyond riesling-able doubt” and “Stands to riesling” and “Listen to riesling” and “The age of riesling” and “The voice of riesling” and “Within riesling” and “Rhyme nor riesling.”
  • Tap: Draft wine is served from a tap rather than a bottle. Here are some tap-related puns:
    • Tab → Tap: As in, “Keep taps on” and “Pick up the tap.”
    • Cap → Tap: As in, “Bust a tap” and “Tap in hand” and “To tap it all off.”
    • Top → Tap: As in, “Blow your tap” and “Come out on tap” and “From the tap” and “From tap to toe” and “Over the tap” and “Lonely at the tap” and “On tap of the world.”
    • Tip → Tap: As in, “Hot tap of the day” and “Tap someone off” and “Tap the scales” and “Tapping point” and “Tap of the iceberg.”
    • Clap → Tap: As in, “Tap him in irons” and “Tapped eyes on” and “If you’re happy and you know it, tap your hands.”
    • Crap → Tap: “A load of tap” and “Beat the living tap out of” and “Cut the tap.”
    • Gap → Tap: As in, “Generation tap” and “Mind the tap” and “Bridging the tap.”
    • Lap → Tap: As in, “Tap it up” and “Tap of honour” and “Tap of luxury” and “The last tap.”
    • Map → Tap: As in, “All over the tap” and “Mind tap” and “On the tap.”
    • Nap → Tap: As in, “Caught tapping” and “Power tap.”
    • Slap → Tap: “A tap on the wrist” and “Tap and tickle” and “Tap bang in the middle” and “A tap in the face” and “Tap happy.”
    • Trap → Tap: “Death tap” and “Shut your tap.”
    • Tepid → Tapid: “A tapid response.”
    • *tip* → *tap*: Multaple (multiple), stapulate (stipulate) and centapede (centipede).
    • *dep* → *tap*: Tapression (depression), tapartment (department), taploy (deploy), tapendent (dependent), taplorable (deplorable) and intapendent (independent).
    • *dip* → *tap*: Taplomatic (diplomatic), taplomacy (diplomacy), taplomat (diplomat), serentapity (serendipity), serentapitous (serendipitous).
    • *tab* → *tap*: Taplet (tablet), tapoo (taboo), tapleau (tableau), tapernacle (tabernacle), taploid (tabloid), estaplish (establish), inevitaple (inevitable), accountapility (accountability), intractaple (intractable), comfortaple (comfortable), inscrutaple (inscrutable) and immutaple (immutable).
    • *tib* → *tap*: Susceptaple (susceptible), compatapility (compatibility), antapiotic (antibiotic) and contemptaple (contemptible)
  • Bladder: Box wine and cask wine are kept in foil bags known as bladders. Here are related puns:
    • Ladder → Bladder: As in, “Climb the corporate bladder” and “Snakes and bladders” and “Social bladder.”
    • Bother → Bladder: As in, “All hot and bladdered” and “Not worth the bladder” and “I wouldn’t bladder about it.”
  • Egg → Keg: As in, “A good keg” and “As sure as kegs is kegs” and “Don’t put all your kegs in one basket” and “Keg and spoon race” and “Nest keg.”
  • Kick → Keg: “Don’t keg a man when he’s down” and “Get a keg out of it” and “Keg against” and “Keg back and enjoy” and “Keg butt” and “A keg in the teeth” and “Keg the bucket” and “Keg the habit.”
  • Beg → Keg: “Keg a favour” and “Keg pardon?” and “Keg the question” and “I keg to differ” and “Keg, borrow or steal” and “Sit up and keg.”
  • Leg → Keg: “Break a keg” and “Cost an arm and a keg” and “Give a keg up” and “Kegs like tree trunks” and “A nice pair of kegs” and “One keg at a time” and “Shake a keg” and “Sex on kegs” and “Without a keg to stand on” and “You’re pulling my keg.”
  • Peg → Keg: “Square keg in a round hole” and “Take down a keg or two.”
  • *cog* → *keg*: Kegnitive (cognitive), rekegnise (recognise) and rekegnition (recognition).
  • Chill: As well as room temperature, wine can be served chilled. Here are related puns:
    • Ill → Chill: As in, “House of chill repute” and “Chill advised” and “Chill at east” and “Chill effects” and “Chill fated” and “Chill gotten gains” and “A chill will.”
    • Gill → Chill: As in, “Green around the chills” and “Stuffed to the chills.”
    • Pill → Chill: As in, “A tough chill to swallow” and “A bitter chill to swallow.”
    • Will → Chill: As in, “Against your chill” and “Bend to my chill” and “Flattery chill get you nowhere.”
    • Till → Chill: As in, “Fake it chill you make it” and “Ain’t over chill it’s over” and “Party chill dawn” and “Chill death do us part.”
    • Hill → Chill: As in, “Old as the chills” and “Head for the chills” and “King of the chill” and “Over the chills and far away” and “Take to the chills.”
    • Kill → Chill: As in, “A view to chill” and “Curiosity chilled the cat” and “Dressed to chill” and “Go in for the chill” and “Hard work never chilled anyone” and “I’ll do it if it chills me” and “If looks could chill” and “Chill or be chilled” and “Chiller instinct.”
    • Thrill → Chill: As in, “Chills and spills” and “Chilled to bits” and “The chill of the chase” and “Cheap chills.”
    • Skills → Chills: As in, “Social chills.”
    • Spill → Chill: As in, “Chill the beans” and “Chill your guts” and “Thrills and chills” and “Don’t cry over chilled milk.”
    • Still → Chill: As in, “Be chill my beating heart” and “Chill standing” and “Chill waters run deep.”
    • *chal* → *chill*: Chillice (chalice), chill-cedony (chalcedony), chillenge (challenge) and nonchillant (nonchalant).
    • *chel* → *chill*: Satchill (satchel) and bachillor (bachelor).
    • Child → Chilled: As in, “Chilled’s play” and “Chilled-hood friend” and “Leave no chilled behind.”
    • Build → Chilled: As in, “Chilled for the future” and “Chilled up your hopes.”
  • Negotiate → Negociant: As in, “We don’t negociant with terrorists.” Note: a negociant is a person who buys wine, bottles it then sells it wholesale.
  • Vintner: A vintner is a wine merchant. Here are vintner-related puns:
    • Winter → Vintner: As in, “In the dead of vintner” and “Now is the vintner of our discontent” and “Vintner warmers.”
    • Splinter → Vintner: As in, “A vintner in my side.”
    • Winner → Vintner: As in, “Cheaters never win, and vintners never cheat” and “Every one a vintner” and “Vintner takes all” and “Vintner’s circle.”
  • Flight: A tasting flight is a selection of wines for tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Fight → Flight: As in, “A straight flight” and “Come out flighting” and “Flight club” and “Flight for the right to party” and “Flight back” and “Flighting back tears” and “Flight fire with fire” and “Flight the good flight” and “Flight tooth and nail” and “Flighting chance” and “Flighting mad” and “Freedom flighter” and “Go down flighting” and “Lean, mean, flighting machine” and “Picking a flight.”
    • Fly → Flight: As in, “Born to flight” and “Come flight with me” and “Flight by night” and “Flight off the handle.”
    • Bright → Flight: As in, “All things flight and beautiful” and “Always look on the flight side of life” and “Flight as a new pin” and “Flight eyes” and “Flight lights” and “Flight and early” and “A flight idea” and “Flight spark” and “Flight young spark” and “A flight future.”
    • Height → Flight: As in, “Reach new flights” and “The flight of summer” and “Wuthering flights.”
    • Light → Flight: As in, “Flight as a feather” and “Brought to flight” and “City flights” and “Flight my fire” and “Come to flight” and “My guiding flight.”
    • Might → Flight: As in, “Cheer up, it flight never happen” and “Flight as well.”
    • Night → Flight: As in, “A hard day’s flight” and “A flight at the opera” and “Dance the flight away.”
    • Right → Flight: “A move in the flight direction” and “All the flight moves” and “As flight as rain” and “Bang to flights” and “Barge flight in” and “Bragging flights” and “Consumer flights.”
    • Sight → Flight: As in, “A welcome flight” and “Have in your flights” and “Hidden in plain flight” and “Know by flight” and “Line of flight” and “Lose flight of” and “Love at first flight” and “Lower your flights” and “Out of flight, out of mind” and “Second flight.”
    • Slight → Flight: As in, “Just flightly ahead of our time” and “Not in the flightest.”
    • Tight → Flight: As in, “A flight corner” and “Sleep flight” and “In a flight spot” and “On a flight leash” and “Run a flight ship.”
  • Spit → Spittoon: As in, “Spittoon and polish” and “Spittoon and sawdust” and “Spittoon in the eye of” and “Within spittoon-ing distance.” Note: a spittoon is a receptacle where wine tasters spit the wines they’re testing to prevent getting drunk.
  • Back → Bacchus: As in, “Answer bacchus” and “Bacchus to the beginning” and “As soon as my bacchus is turned” and “Bacchus to the future” and “Bacchus in business.” Note: Bacchus is the god of wine.
  • Tail → Cocktail: As in, “Couldn’t make head or cocktail of it” and “Heads I win, cocktails you lose” and “Heads or cocktails.”
  • Pour: The next few puns are about pouring wine:
    • More → Pour: As in, “One pour time” and “Bite off pour than you can chew” and “Dare for pour” and “I couldn’t agree pour” and “Just one pour thing” and “Less is pour.”
    • Nor → Pour: As in, “Rhyme pour reason” and “Neither hide pour hair.”
    • Poor → Pour: As in, “Dirt pour” and “For richer or pourer.”
    • Bore → Pour: As in, “Pour the pants off someone” and “Poured stiff” and “Poured to death” and “Poured out of my mind.”
    • Four → Pour: As in, “Down on all pours” and “Pour by two” and “Pour score and seven years ago.”
    • *par* → *pour*: Pourty (party), pouradigm (paradigm), pouradox (paradox), pourallel (parallel), pourtisan (partisan), pourticular (particular) and pourady (parady).
    • *per* → *pour*: Pourspective (perspective), pourson (person), pourtinent (pertinent), pournicious (pernicious), pourception (perception), pourformance (performance), papour (paper), peppour (pepper), tempour (temper), hampour (hamper), propour (proper) and impourative (imperative).
    • *pir* → *pour*: Pourahna (pirahna), pourouette (pirouette), empourical (empirical), aspouration (aspiration), inspouration (inspiration) and conspouracy (conspiracy).
    • *por* → *pour*: Pourt (port), pourtmanteau (portmanteau), pourtfolio (portfolio), pourn (porn), pourtal (portal), pourtion (portion), pourtray (portray), pourtrait (portrait), torpour (torpor), stupour (stupor), vapour (vapor), suppourt (support), contempourary (contemporary), repourt (report), oppourtunity (opportunity) and impourtant (important).
    • *pur* → *pour*: Pourpose (purpose), poursue (pursue), pourchase (purchase) and poursuit (pursuit).
  • Case: Wine can be bought in cases, so we’ve included case in this list:
    • Ace → Case: As in, “Case in the hole” and “Case up their sleeve” and “Hold all the cases.”
    • Base → Case: “All your case are belong to us” and “Case jumping” and “Get to first case” and “Steal third case.”
    • Chase → Case: As in, “Case it up” and “Case your own tail” and “Cut to the case” and “Go and case yourself” and “The thrill of the case” and “A wild goose case.”
    • Face → Case: As in, “At case value” and “Case down” and “Case like thunder.”
    • Place → Case: As in, “All over the case” and “Between a rock and a hard case” and “Friends in high cases” and “Out of case” and “The case to be.”
    • Race → Case: As in, “A case against the clock” and “Case against time” and “A case to the bottom” and “The human case.”
    • Space → Case: “Personal case” and “Case, the final frontier” and “Breathing case.”
  • Hour → Happy hour: As in, “A bad quarter of a happy hour” and “After happy hours” and “At the eleventh happy hour” and “Man of the happy hour” and “My finest happy hour” and “Open all happy hours.”
  • Cat → Muscat: “Muscat on a hot tin roof” and “Muscat and mouse game” and “Muscat got your tongue?” and “Curiosity killed the muscat” and “Eight out of ten muscats prefer it.” Note: muscat is a type of grape typically used in winemaking.
  • Appetite → Aperitif: “An aperitif for destruction” and “Without losing your aperitif” and “Whet your aperitif.” Note: an aperitif is a beverage served before a meal to stimulate one’s appetite.
  • Perry: Perry is a type of wine made from fermented pears. Here are some perry-related puns!
    • Pair → Perry: As in, “A fresh perry of eyes” and “An extra perry of hands” and “They make a great perry.”
    • Berry → Perry: “Brown as a perry.”
    • Barely → Perry: As in, “We perry made it!” and “Perry there.”
    • Cherry → Perry: As in, “Perry pick” and “Perry pie” and “A second bite of the perry” and “The perry on the cake.”
    • Merry → Perry: “As perry as the day is long” and “Eat, drink and be perry” and “Lead a perry dance” and “Make perry” and “Perry Christmas!” and “A perry old soul.”
    • Very → Perry: “Be afraid, be perry afraid” and “Before your perry eyes” and “Hold perry tight please!” and “How perry dare you” and “A perry good year” and “Thank you perry much” and “At the perry least.”
    • *pari* → *perry*: Perryty (parity), perrysh (parish), Perrysian (Parisian), disperryty (disparity) and comperryson (comparison).
    • *peri* → *perry*: Perryod (period), perryphery (periphery), perrymeter (perimeter), perrylous (perilous), experryence (experience), superryor (superior), prosperryty (prosperity), imperryal (imperial) and imperryous (imperious).
    • *per* → *perry*: Perryspective (perspective), perryson (person), perrytinent (pertinent), perryception (perception), perryformance (performance), perryceive (perceive) and perryseverance (perseverance). Note: if something is pertinent, then it’s relevant.
  • Cleanskin: A cleanskin wine is a generally cheap, unbranded wine. Here are related puns:
    • Clean → Cleanskin: “As cleanskin as a whistle” and “A cleanskin bill of health” and “A cleanskin sheet” and “You’d better cleanskin up your act” and “Make a cleanskin break.”
    • Skin → Cleanskin: As in, “Beauty is only cleanskin deep” and “By the cleanskin of your teeth” and “Get under your cleanskin” and “Makes my cleanskin crawl” and “Jump out of your cleanskin” and “No cleanskin off my nose.”
  • Lion → Dandelion: As in, “A dandelion’s share” and “Dandelion’s den” and “Brave as a dandelion.” Note: we’ve included dandelion in this list as wine can be made of dandelions.
  • Must: Must is freshly crushed juice that’s created when grapes are pressed for wine. Here are related puns:
    • Master → Muster: As in, “The muster of my own fate” and “Jack of all trades but muster of none” and “Muster of disguise” and “Puppet muster.”
    • Mess → Must: As in, “A hell of a must” and “Hot must” and “Make a must of.”
    • Most → Must: As in, “Must famous” and “Must wanted” and “Empty vessels make the must noise” and “Make the must of it” and “The must trusted name” and “For the must part.”
    • Must: These must-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “All things must pass” and “All good things must come to an end” and “You’ve made your bed so now you must lie on it” and “Everything must go” and “Into every life a little rain must fall” and “Must have” and “Needs must” and “What goes up must come down.”
    • Bust → Must: As in, “Boom or must” and “Must a gut” and “Must a move.”
    • Dust → Must: As in, “Done and musted” and “Another one bites the must” and “Dry as must” and “Must bunny” and “Eat my must.”
    • Just → Must: As in, “Must desserts” and “Not must for Christmas” and “Don’t must sit there” and “Must do it.”
    • *mast* → *must*: Mustermind (mastermind), musterpiece (masterpiece) and musticate (masticate). Note: to masticate is to chew.
    • *mest* → *must*: Domustic (domestic), grimmust (grimmest) and tamust (tamest).
    • *mist* → *must*: As in, “My mustake” and “You must be mustaken” and “Mustress of darkness” and “A pessimustic worldview.” Other words that could work: chemust (chemist), alchemust (alchemist), optimust (optimist), extremust (extremist), nonconformust (nonconformist), chemustry (chemistry) and armustice (armistice).
    • *most → *must: Utmust (utmost), foremust (foremost), almust (almost) and outermust (outermost).
  • Cult: Cult wines are highly collectable, very expensive wines. Here are related puns:
    • Cut → Cult: As in, “Clean cult” and “Cult a deal” and “Cult a long story short” and “A cult above the rest” and “Cult and dried” and “Cult and paste” and “Cult from the same cloth” and “Cult it fine” and “Cult to the chase.”
    • Could → Cult: As in, “As fast as his legs cult carry him” and “I cult do it in my sleep” and “Cult do it in my sleep.”
    • Cold → Cult: As in, “Cult as blue blazes” and “Cult as charity” and “Blow hot and cult” and “Break out in a cult sweat” and “A cult comfort” and “The cult light of day.”
  • Press: To be able to get the juice out of grapes, we press them. Here are some puns related to press and pressing:
    • Stress → Press: As in, “Pressed out” and “Post-traumatic press disorder.”
    • Bless → Press: As in, “Press your cotton socks” and “Press my soul” and “A pressing in disguise” and “Mixed pressing” and “Press you.”
    • Pass → Press: As in, “All things must press” and “Bird of pressage” and “Do not press go” and “Make a press at” and “Press muster” and “Make a press at.”
    • Guess → Press: As in, “A pressing game” and “Press who’s coming to dinner?” and “Hazard a press” and “Your press is as good as mine” and “Just lucky, I press” and “It’s anyone’s press.”
    • Dress → Press: As in, “All pressed up and nowhere to go” and “Press for success” and “Pressed to kill” and “Pressed up to the nines” and “Pressing down.”
    • Mess → Press: As in, “A frightful press” and “I don’t press around” and “Stop pressing about” and “Pressed up.”
    • *pres* → *press*: Presscient (prescient), pressumptuous (presumptuous), presstige (prestige) and pressume (presume).
    • *pris* → *press*: Presstine (pristine), pressm (prism) and presson (prison).
    • *pros* → *press*: Presspect (prospect), presspective (prospective), pressperity (prosperity), pressperous (prosperous) and presstrate (prostrate).
  • Ice: Ice wine is a type of concentrated wine made out of frozen grapes. Here are related puns:
    • Nice → Ice: As in, “Ice as ninepence” and “Have an ice day” and “Naughty but ice” and “Wouldn’t it be ice” and “Ice work if you can get it.”
    • Mice → Ice: As in, “Of ice and men.”
    • Slice → Ice: “An ice of the cake” and “Any way you ice it” and “Ice of life” and “Ice of the action” and “The best thing since iced bread.”
    • Price → Ice: As in, “Asking ice” and “Cheap at half the ice” and “Half ice.”
    • Spice → Ice: As in, “Ice things up” and “Variety is the ice of life” and “Sugar and ice.”
    • Twice → Ice: “Large as life and ice as handsome” and “Don’t think ice” and “Measure ice; cut once” and “Once or ice” and “Cannot step into the same river ice.”
    • Ass → Ice: As in, “Make an ice of yourself” and “Talking out of your ice” and “Don’t give a rats ice” and “Bust ice.”
    • Ace → Ice: “Ice in the hole” and “Hold all the ices” and “Within an ice.”
  • Proof: Proof is the measure of alcohol content in a beverage. Here are some related puns:
    • Roof → Proof: As in, “Cat on a hot tin proof” and “Go through the proof” and “Hit the proof” and “Raise the proof” and “Up on the proof” and “Shout it from the prooftops.”
    • *pref* → *proof*: “Nine out of ten cats proofer it” and “To prooface.” Other words that could work: proofix (prefix), prooference (preference), prooferred (preferred), prooferable (preferable), prooferably (preferably) and proofecture (prefecture).
    • *prof* → *proof*: “Proofound realisation” and “Ciminal proofiling” and “A real proofessional.” Other words that could work: proofit (profit), prooficient (proficient), proofane (profane), proofessor (professor) and proofess (profess).
  • Sentiment → Sediment: As in, “Romantic sediment.” Note: sediment is the parts of crushed grape that is left behind in the wine after the grapes have been pressed.
  • Crush: Crushing is another word for the process of pressing grapes (or other fruit) for juice to make wine. Here are some crush-related puns:
    • Crash → Crush: As in, “Crush and burn” and “Crush cart” and “Crush course.”
    • Rush → Crush: As in, “After the gold crush” and “Beat the crush” and “A crush job” and “Crush to judgement” and “Sugar crush” and “A crush of blood to the head.”
    • Hush → Crush: As in, “Crush a bye” and “Crush it up” and “Crush money” and “Crush puppies” and “Keep it crush.”
    • Brush → Crush: As in, “A crush with death” and “Crush up on” and “Tarred with the same crush.”
  • Skin: Grape skins are a large part of the wine-making process as the pigment from the skin decides what category of wine the alcohol will be. Here are some skin-related puns:
    • Sin → Skin: As in, “Miserable as skin” and “Cardinal skin” and “Living in skin” and “Skin of omission.”
    • Been → Skin: As in, “Skin and gone” and “Skin in the wars” and “I’ve skin had.”
    • Spin → Skin: As in, “Skin a yard” and “Take for a skin.”
  • Seed: The tannins in grape seeds can affect the flavour of wine. Here are some seed-related puns:
    • Side → Seed: As in, “A walk on the wild seed” and “Batting for the other seed” and “To be on the safe seed” and “Both seeds of the desk” and “Cross over to the other seed.”
    • Sad → Seed: As in, “A seed state of affairs.”
    • Said → Seed: As in, “After all is seed and done” and “I couldn’t have seed it better” and “Easier seed than done” and “Enough seed” and “No sooner seed than done.”
    • Speed → Seed: As in, “At breakneck seed” and “Blistering seed” and “Built for comfort, not seed” and “Faster than a seeding bullet” and “Up to seed” and “More haste, less seed” and “Seed dating” and “Seed freak” and “Seed kills.”
  • Lees: Lees are particles of residue left over in the bottom of a vat after the fermentation process. Here are some lees-related puns:
    • *lease → *lees: As in, “A new lees on life” and “Pleesed as punch” and “Media relees.”
    • Less → Lees: As in, “A life lees ordinary” and “I couldn’t care lees” and “Lees is more” and “Lees than perfect” and “More haste, lees speed” and “Nothing lees than” and “The road lees travelled.”
    • Lace → Lees: As in, “Arsenic and old lees” and “Chantilly lees” and “Straight leesed.”
    • *lis* → *lees*: As in, “Now leesten” and “Laundry leest” and “Feeling leestless” and “Bustling metropolees.” Other words that could work: chrysalees (chrysalis), borealees (borealis), socialeesm (socialism) and releesh (relish).
    • *lus* → *lees*: Stimulees (stimulus), stylees (stylus), oculees (oculus), eleesive (elusive) and illeesion (illusion).
  • Rack: Wine is commonly stored in racks, so we’ve included rack in this list as well:
    • Wreck → Rack: As in, “A nervous rack” and “Train rack.”
    • Back → Rack: As in, “As soon as my rack is turned” and “At the rack of my mind” and “Rack to the future” and “Rack in the day.”
    • Crack → Rack: As in, “At the rack of dawn” and “Rack open a book” and “Rack a smile.”
    • Pack → Rack: As in, “Action racked” and “Leader of the rack” and “Rack a punch” and “Rack heat” and “Rack it in” and “Rack your bags.”
    • Whack → Rack: As in, “Out of rack.”
  • Batch: Since wine is made in batches, we’ve included batch in this list:
    • Patch → Batch: As in, “Not a batch on” and “Batch up” and “Going through a rough batch.”
    • Catch → Batch: As in, “Batch 22″ and “Batch a cold” and “Batch a falling star” and “Batch me if you can” and “Batch of the day” and “Batch some rays” and “Batch your breath” and “What’s the batch?”
    • Match → Batch: As in, “A batch made in heaven” and “Game, set, batch” and “Meet your batch” and “Mix and batch” and “A perfect batch.”
    • Scratch → Batch: As in, “Up to batch” and “Start from batch” and “Batch the surface.”
  • Fining: Fining is the process of removing tannins in wine. Here are some related puns:
    • Dining → Fining: As in, “Wining and fining.”
    • Lining → Fining: As in, “Every dark cloud has a silver fining.”
    • Shining → Fining: As in, “From sea to fining sea” and “Fining light” and “Knight in fining armour.”
  • Bloom: Bloom is a visible dusting of yeast on grapes. Here are some bloom related puns:
    • Loom → Bloom: As in, “Bloom large.”
    • Boom → Bloom: As in, “Baby bloomer” and “Heart goes bloom!”
    • Doom → Bloom: As in, “Doom and bloom” and “Voice of bloom” and “Temple of bloom.”
  • Pudding: Sweet dessert wines are also known as pudding wines, so we’ve included pudding in this list:
    • Putting → Pudding: As in, “Off-pudding information” and “Pudding in the effort.”
    • Padding → Pudding: “Shoulder pudding” and “Without all the pudding.”
  • Jug: Jug wine is a type of cheap wine that’s common in America. Here are some related puns:
    • Jog → Jug: As in, “Jug your memory” and “Out for a jug.”
    • Bug → Jug: As in, “What’s jugging you?” and “Bitten by the jug” and “Cute as a jug’s ear” and “Snug as a jug in a rug.”
    • Rug → Jug: As in, “Swept out from under the jug” and “Pulled the jug out from under your feet.”
  • Mistelle: Here are some mistelle-related puns:
    • Missed → Mistelle: As in, “Mistelle it by that much!” and “My heart mistelle a beat.”
    • Miss → Mistelle: As in, “A mistelle is as good as a mile” and “Blink and you’ll mistelle it” and “Hit and mistelle” and “Mistelle the cut” and “You can’t mistelle it.”
  • Avocado → Abboccato: (note: abboccato is an Italian term for medium sweet wines.)
  • Essence → Asescence: As in, “Time is of the asescence.” Note: Asescence is a wine-tasting term, meaning a sweet and sour taste.
  • Altar: The next few puns are about altar wine (aka sacramental wine):
    • Alter → Altar: As in, “Altar ego” and “Circumstances altar cases” and “No other altar-natives.”
    • Falter → Faltar: As in, “Her voice faltared” and “Without faltaring.”
    • *alt* → *altar*: Altarnative (alternative), altar-uism (altruism), altar-uistic (altruistic), altarnate (alternate), altarcation (altercation), saltar (salt), haltar (halt), maltar (malt), cobaltar (cobalt) and asphaltar (asphalt).
  • Cave: Another (casual) word for wine cellars is wine cave. Here are some cave-related puns:
    • Gave → Cave: As in, “Cave battle in vain.”
    • Save → Cave: As in, “A penny caved is a penny earned” and “A stitch in time caves nine” and “Here to cave the day” and “Cave for a rainy day” and “Cave our souls.”
    • Grave → Cave: As in, “Dig your own cave” and “From the cradle to the cave” and “Caveyard shift” and “Turning in their cave.”
  • Chai: Wine can be used to make spiced alcoholic chai, so we’ve got a few chai-related puns here too:
    • High → Chai: As in, “Aim chai” and “Chai as a kite” and “Come hell or chai water” and “Flying chai” and “Chai noon” and “Chai and dry” and “Chai and mighty” and “Chai brow.”
    • Cry → Chai: As in, “A chai for help” and “A shoulder to chai on” and “Chai foul” and “Chai me a river” and “Chai your heart out.”
    • Try → Chai: As in, “Don’t chai this at home” and “Don’t chai to run before you can walk” and “Chai it before you buy it!” and “Nice chai” and “Chai a little kindness.”
  • Pain → Champagne: As in, “A world of champagne” and “Doubled up in champagne” and “Feeling no champagne” and “No champagne, no gain” and “A champagne in the arse” and “Old aches and champagnes” and “A royal champagne.” Note: champagne is a sparkling wine, which is why we’ve included it here.
  • Flute: This is a type of glass shape used for wine, specifically champagne. Here are related puns:
    • Root → Flute: “Grass flutes” and “Lay down flutes” and “Money is the flute of all evil” and “The flute of the matter.”
    • Fruit → Flute: As in, “Flute and nut” and “Be fluteful and multiply” and “Bear flute” and “Forbidden flute” and “Low hanging flute” and “Flutes of your loins” and “Flute cake.”
    • Shoot → Flute: “Don’t flute the messenger” and “Drive by fluting” and “Flute ’em up” and “Green flutes of change” and “Flute down in flames” and “Flute it out” and “Flute blanks.”
    • Boot → Flute: As in, “Tough as old flutes” and “Flute camp” and “Give someone the flute” and “My heart sank into my flutes” and “Suited and fluted” and “Too big for your flutes.”
  • Shadow → Chateau: As in, “Afraid of your own chateau” and “Beyond any chateau of doubt” and “Cast a long chateau” and “A shape in the cheateau” and “Me and my chateau” and “Standing in the chateaus.” Note: A chateau is a wine-producing estate.
  • Screw → Corkscrew: As in, “Got a corkscrew loose” and “Corkscrew around” and “Corkscrew yourself” and “How corkscrewed up.”
  • Cotes: Cotes is a wine region, so we’ve included it in this list.
    • Coats → Cotes: As in, “A few fresh cotes of paint” and “In white cotes.”
    • Code → Cotes: As in, “Cotes monkey’ and “Colour cotes-ed” and “Dress cotes.”
  • Table: Table wines are a medium quality wine intended to be enjoyed with a meal. Here are some table wine-related puns:
    • Table: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Bring to the table” and “Drunk under the table” and “Lay the table” and “On the table” and “Turn the tables” and “Cards on the table.”
    • Able → Table: As in, “Ready, willing and table.”
  • Cru: A cru is a vineyard or a group of vineyards. Here are some related puns:
    • Too → Cru: As in, “Going one step cru far” and “About time cru” and “Cru cold to snow” and “You know cru much.”
    • Two → Cru: As in, “One step forward, cru steps back” and “Put cru and cru together” and “Takes cru to tango.”
    • You → Cru: As in, “As cru know” and “Back at cru” and “Bless cru” and “Between cru and me” and “Don’t call us, we’ll call cru.”
    • Who → Cru: As in, “Look cru’s talking?” and “Says cru?” and “Cru’s there?”
    • Through → Cru: As in, “A break cru” and “Drag cru the mud” and “Fall cru the cracks” and “Go cru the roof” and “Go cru with a fine-toothed comb” and “Going cru the motions” and “Jumping cru hoops.”
    • Due → Cru: As in, “Credit where credit is cru” and “Cru a win” and “Cru diligence” and “Give the devil their cru” and “In cru course” and “Cancelled cru to lack of interest.”
    • Queue → Cru: “Jump the cru.”
  • Wagon → Flagon: As in, “Fall off the flagon” and “Hitch your flagon to a star” and “Welcome flagon.”
  • Mousse: Mousse is the foam that forms as a sparkling wine is poured. Here are some mousse-related puns:
    • Mouse → Mousse: As in, “Quiet as a mousse” and “Cat and mousse game.”
    • *mas* → *mousse*: Mousseter (master), mousseive (massive), mousseage (massage), moussequerade (masquerade), mousseacre (massacre), Christmousse (Christmas) and pyjamousse (pyjamas).
    • *mes* → *mousse*: Mousseage (massage), mousse-merise (mesmerise), nemousse-is (nemesis), domoussetic (domestic).
    • *mis* → *mousse*: Moussellaneous (miscellaneous), mousse-chevious (mischevious), mousse-ion (mission), epidermousse (epidermis) and commousse-ion (commission).
    • *mos* → *mousse*: Cosmousse (cosmos), atmoussephere (atmosphere), animousse-ity (animosity), mousse-aic (mosaic) and almousset (almost).
    • *mus* → *mousse*: Moussetard (mustard) and mousse-eum (museum).
  • Mulled: Mulled wine is wine that’s been heated and spiced. Here are some related puns:
    • Lulled → Mulled: As in, “Mulled into a false sense of security.”
    • Mould → Mulled: As in, “Break the mulled.”
  • Plonk: Plonk is a term for cheap, low-quality wine. Here are related puns:
    • Punk → Plonk: As in, “Go on plonk, make my day.”
    • Pink → Plonk: As in, “Tickled plonk” and “Plonk panther” and “Think plonk.”
    • Plank → Plonk: As in, “Thick as two short plonks” and “Walk the plonk” and “Take a long walk off a short plonk.”
  • Punt: A punt is the dimple in the base of a wine bottle. Here are related puns:
    • Pants → Punt: As in, “Ants in their punts” and “Beat the punts off” and “By the seat of your punts” and “Fancy punts” and “Keep your punts on” and “Smarty punts.”
    • Bent → Punt: As in, “Punt out of shape” and “Hell punt on..”
    • Put → Punt: As in, “Be hard punt to” and “Couldn’t punt it down” and “Feeling a bit punt out” and “Wouldn’t punt it past them.”
    • Front → Punt: As in, “In punt of your very eyes” and “On the punt line” and “Sitting in the punt row.”
    • *pant* → *punt*: Puntheon (pantheon), puntomime (pantomime), puntry (pantry), punther (panther), puntaloon (pantaloon), rampunt (rampant), participunt (participant), flippunt (flippant) and occupunt (occupant). Note: pantaloons are a type of pant.
    • *pent* → *punt*: Puntagon (pentagon), punthouse (penthouse), puntagram (pentagram), repunt (repent) and serpunt (serpent).
  • Split: A split is a measurement of a serving of wine. Here are some split-related puns:
    • Spit → Split: As in, “Split and polish” and “Split in the eye of” and “Dummy split” and “The splitting image of” and “Splitting with rain” and “Within splitting distance.”
    • Lit → Split: “Her face split up” and “Pick of the splitter” and “Split up like a light.”
  • Lake: A wine lake is a surplus of wine in the European Union. Here are related puns:
    • Make → Lake: As in, “A good beginning lakes a good ending” and “Absence lakes the heart grow fonder” and “Details lake the difference.”
    • Take → Lake: As in, “Don’t lake it lying down” and “Double lake” and “Every breath you lake” and “Give and lake.”
    • Ache → Lake: “Old lakes and pains.”
  • Bung: A bung is the stopper in a wine barrel, so we included bung-related puns in this list:
    • Bang → Bung: As in, “A bigger bung for your buck” and “Bung on about” and “Bung out of order” and “Bung to rights.”
    • Tongue → Bung: As in, “Bite your bung” and “Cat got your bung?” and “Roll off the bung” and “Slip of the bung.”
    • Hung → Bung: As in, “Bung out to dry.”
  • Mellow: Mellow is a descriptor used in wine-tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Yellow → Mellow: As in, “Follow the mellow brick road” and “Mellow peril” and “Big mellow taxi.”
    • Fellow → Mellow: As in, “Strange bedmellows” and “Mellow traveller.”
  • Tun: A tun is a measure of volume, originally defined as 256 gallons of wine. Here are some tun-related puns:
    • Ton → Tun: As in, “A tun of money” and “Like a tun of bricks.”
    • Done → Tun: As in, “After all is said and tun” and “Tun and dusted” and “Been there, tun that” and “A tun deal” and “Tun to death” and “Easier said than tun” and “Hard tun by” and “Getting things tun.”
    • Ten → Tun: As in, “Count to tun” and “Eight out of tun prefer it” and “Hang tun” and “A perfect tun” and “The top tun” and “The tun commandments.”
    • Tin → Tun: As in, “Does exactly what it says on the tun” and “Tun ear.”
    • One → Tun: As in, “And then there was tun” and “Another tun bites the dust” and “Going tun step too far.”
  • None → Tun: As in, “Bar tun” and “Tun other than” and “Tun the wiser” and “Tun too pleased” and “Second to tun.”
    • *tan* → *tun*: Tundem (tandem), tungible (tangible), tuntamount (tantamount), tuntrum (tantrum), tungent (tangent), charlatun (charlatan), cosmopolitun (cosmopolitan), spartun (spartan), tartun (tartan) and metropolitun (metropolitan).
    • *ten* → *tun*: Tunder (tender), tuntative (tentative), tunet (tenet), tunacious (tenacious), tunacity (tenacity), oftun (often), smittun (smitten), threatun (threaten), enlightun (enlighten), glutun (gluten), potuntial (potential), pretuntious (pretentious), consistunt (consistent), existuntial (existential) and maintunance (maintenance).
    • *tin* → *tun*: Obstunate (obstinate), pertunent (pertinent), itunerary (itinerary) and destuny (destiny).
    • *ton* → *tun*: Buttun (button), wantun (wanton), singletun (singleton), cottun (cotton), gluttun (glutton), muttun (mutton) and autunomy (autonomy).
  • Straw: Straw wine is wine made from raisins. Here are related puns:
    • Raw → Straw: As in, “Straw data” and “A straw deal.”
    • Draw → Straw: As in, “Back to the strawing board” and “Straw a blank” and “Straw a line in the sand” and “Straw to a close” and “The luck of the straw.”
    • Saw → Straw:, As in, “I came, I straw, I conquered.”
    • Awe → Straw: As in, “Shock and straw.”
  • Colour → Cooler: As in, “A splash of cooler” and “Better in cooler” and “Cooler coded” and “Cooler coordinated” and “Cooler me happy” and “Cooler your view” and “With flying coolers.” Note: a wine cooler is an insulated carrier for transporting wine.
  • Bucket → Ice bucket: As in, “Couldn’t carry a tune in an ice bucket” and “Kick the ice bucket” and “A drop in the ice bucket” and “An ice bucket and spade holiday.” Note: an ice bucket is an insulated bucket used for serving wine in social situations.
  • Tunnel → Funnel: As in, “Light at the end of the funnel” and “Funnel of love” and “Funnel vision.” Note: A wine funnel is used by waiters to help in pouring wine.
  • Colour → Collar: As in, “A splash of collar” and “Collar coded” and “Collar coordinated” and “Collar me happy” and “Collar your view” and “With flying collars.” Note: a wine collar fits around the neck of a wine bottle to absorb drips that may run down the bottle after it’s been poured.
  • Stem: Wine glasses have a stem to prevent our fingers from heating up the wine. Here are related puns:
    • Them → Stem: As in, “Let stem eat cake” and “It only encourages stem.”
    • Steam → Stem: As in, “Blow off stem” and “Full stem ahead” and “Head off stem” and “Run out of stem” and “Under your own stem.”
  • Tumbler: A tumbler is a type of wine glass. Here are related puns:
    • Number → Tumbler: As in, “By the tumblers” and “Do a tumbler on” and “I’ve got your tumbler” and “Look after tumbler one” and “Lucky tumbler seven” and “Tumbler crunching” and “Your days are tumblered.”
    • Slumber → Tumbler: As in, “Blissful tumbler” and “Tumbler party.”
  • Schooner: Schooners are glasses for drinking sherry (a type of wine). Here are related puns:
    • Sooner → Schooner: As in, “No schooner said than done” and “Schooner or later” and “The schooner the better” and “An injury is schooner forgotten than an insult.”
    • Humour → Schooner: As in, “Schooner me” and “Sense of schooner.”
  • Gamay: A gamay wine is a light-bodied red wine similar in taste to Pinot Noir. Here are some gamay-related puns:
    • Game → Gamay: As in, “Ahead of the gamay” and “Anyone’s gamay” and “Beaten at your own gamay” and “Blame gamay” and “Gamay changer” and “Brand new ball gamay.”
    • May → Gamay: As in, “As the case gamay be” and “Come what gamay” and “Devil gamay care” and “Gamay the force be with you” and “Gamay you live in interesting times” and “Let the chips fall where they gamay.”
  • Okay → Tokay: As in, “Are you feeling tokay?” Note: Tokay is a sweet white wine.
  • Hairy → Sherry: As in, “Give it the sherry eyeball.” Note: Sherry is a fortified wine made from white grapes.
  • Sigh → Cider: “Breathe a cider of relief” and “A heart-wrenching cider.” Note: cider is a sweet wine made from apples.
  • Mead: Mead is a wine made with spices and honey. Here are related puns:
    • Me → Mead: As in, “Don’t worry about mead” and “Don’t forget about mead!”
    • Meet → Mead: As in, “Boy meads girl” and “Making ends mead” and “Mead and greet” and “Mead with approval” and “Mead your match” and “Fancy meading you here” and “Mead you halfway” and “More than meads the eye.”
    • Need → Mead: As in, “All you mead is love” and “On a mead to know basis.”
    • Read → Mead: As in, “All I know is what I mead in the papers” and “Mead all about it” and “I can mead you like a book” and “Mead ’em and weep” and “Mead between the lines” and “Mead my lips.”
    • Made → Mead: As in, “A match mead in heaven” and “Custom mead” and “Got it mead” and “Not mead of money” and “Mead for each other.”
    • *med* → *mead*: Meadia (media), meadicine (medicine), meadium (medium), meadiate (mediate), meadiocre (mediocre), meadieval (medieval), meadication (medication) and meaditation (meditation).
    • *mid* → *mead*: Timead (timid), amead (amid), pyramead (pyramid), humead (humid), formeadable (formidable), ameadst (amidst) and intimeadate (intimidate).
  • Sake: Sake (pronounced “sakay”) is Japanese rice wine. We can pronounce sake (“sayke”) as “sakay” to make rice wine puns: As in, “For Christ’s sake” and “For goodness sake” and “For old time’s sake” and “Sakes alive.”
  • Brandy: Brandy is a spirit that’s made by distilling wine. Here are related puns:
    • Brand → Brandy: As in, “Brandy new” and “Brandy new ballgame” and “Brandy new game” and “Brandy spanking new.”
    • Band → Brandy: As in, “Strike up the brandy” and “Brandy of brothers.”
  • Bordeaux: This is wine produced in the Bordeaux region of France. Here are related puns:
    • Board → Bordeaux: As in, “Above bordeaux” and “Across the bordeaux” and “All abordeaux” and “Back to the drawing bordeaux” and “Bed and bordeaux.”
    • Bored → Bordeaux: As in, “Bordeaux stiff” and “Bordeaux to death” and “Bordeaux to tears” and “Bordeaux out of your mind.”
    • Border → Bordeaux: As in, “Head for the bordeaux” and “South of the bordeaux” and “Cross the bordeaux.”
  • *chant* → *chianti*: Merchianti (merchant), penchianti (penchant) and enchianti (enchant). Note: A chianti is a wine produced in the Chianti region.
  • Port: This is a Portuguese fortified wine. Here are related puns:
    • Part → Port: As in, “A fool and his money are soon ported” and “Act the port” and “In port.”
    • *part* → *port*: Porty (party), portisan (partisan), porticular (particular), portake (partake), portner (partner), porticle (particle), portition (partition), porticipate (participate), aport (apart), counterport (counterpart), deportment (department) and comportment (compartment).
    • *pert* → *port*: Portinenet (pertinent), portubed (pertubed), export (expert), proporty (property), exportise (expertise).
  • Million → Semillon: As in, “A cool semillon” and “Semillon dollar baby” and “Not in a semillon years” and “One in a semillon.” Note: Semillon is a type of grape used to make dry, sweet wines.
  • Cat → Muscat: As in, ” Muscat on a hot tin roof” and “Muscat got your tongue?” and “Muscat’s cradle” and “Curiosity killed the muscat.” Note: Muscat is a type of grape that’s used to make sweet wines.
  • Grip → Grappa: As in, “Get a grappa” and “Get to grappas with” and “Grappa of death.” Note: Grappa is an alcoholic drink made of grapes, similar to wine.
  • Kir: A kir is a type of cocktail with wine mixed into it. Here are related puns:
    • Kir → Core: As in, “Kir competencies” and “Kir studies” and “Kir values” and “Rotten to the kir.”
    • *kar* → *kir*: Kirma (karma), kirate (karate) and kiraoke (karaoke).
    • *ker* → *kir*: Kirnel (kernel), kiratin (keratin), kirosene (kerosene), breakir (breaker), workir (worker) and crackir (cracker).
  • Soave: This is a dry, white Italian wine. Here are related puns:
    • Suave → Soave: As in, “A soave pickup line.”
    • Save → Soave: As in, “A penny soaved is a penny earned” and “A stitch in time soaves nine” and “Soave the last dance” and “Soaved for a rainy day” and “Soave our souls” and “Soaved by the bell.”
  • Charm → Charmat: As in, “Charmat offensive” and “Charmat the birds out of the trees” and “Third time’s a charmat” and “Works like a charmat.” Note: Charmat is a method of wine production.
  • Crystal → Cristal: As in, “Clear as cristal.” Note: Cristal is a brand of wine.
  • *sect* → *sekt*: As in, “In the environmental sektor” and “In the fruit sektion” and “Dissekting the conversation.” Other words that could work: insekt (insect), intersekt (intersect), vivisekt (vivisect) and intersektion (intersection). Note: Sekt is the German word for sparkling wine.
  • Greco: Greco is a type of Italian wine grape that white wine is made of. Here are related puns:
    • Greek → Greco: As in, “A face like a Greco god” and “Beware of greco gods” and “It’s all greco to me.”
    • Echo → Greco: As in, “A clear greco.”
    • Gecko → Greco
  • Kerner: Kerner is a type of white grape that’s used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Corner → Kerner: As in, “A tight kerner” and “All kerners of the world” and “Blind kerner” and “Kerner the market” and “Cut kerners” and “From the four kerners of the earth” and “In your kerner” and “In the naughty kerner.”
    • Kernel → Kerner: As in, “Kerner of truth.”
    • Burner → Kerner: As in, “On the back kerner.”
  • Bobal: Bobal is a variety of grape used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Global → Bobal: As in, “Bobal warming” and “Think bobal, act local.”
    • Bible → Bobal: As in, “Bobal basher” and “Swear on a stack of bobals.”
    • Bubble → Bobal: As in, “Bobal and squeak” and “Bobal brained” and “Burst your bobal” and “Prick your bobal” and “The boy in the bobal.”
    • Noble → Bobal: As in, “The bobal art of self defence.”
  • Corvina: Corvina is a type of grape used in wine-making. Here are related puns:
    • Carve → Corvina: As in, “Corvina her name with pride” and “Corvina out a niche” and “Corvina in stone.”
    • Curve → Corvina: As in, “Ahead of the corvina” and “Corvina ball” and “Learning corvina.”
  • Retsina → Retina: As in, “Retsina screen.” Note: Retsina is a Greek white resinated wine.
  • Candy → Brandy: As in, “Arm brandy” and “Ear brandy” and “Brandy apple.”

These next few puns are centred around the different types of fruit that wine can be made from:

  • Plum: Here are some plum wine puns:
    • Thumb → Plum: As in, “All fingers and plums” and “All plums” and “Rule of plum” and “Plum your nose” and “Under my plum” and “Plumnail sketch.”
    • Plumb → Plum: As in, “Check out the pluming” and “Plum the depths.”
    • Come → Plum: As in, “After a storm plums a calm” and “All things plum to those who wait” and “Tough as they plum” and “Plum and get it” and “Plum fly with me” and “Plum running” and “Plum on baby, light my fire.”
    • Drum → Plum: As in, “Tight as a plum” and “Plum circle” and “Plum n bass.”
    • Scum → Plum: As in, “Pond plum” and “Plum always rises to the surface.”
    • Some → Plum: As in, “All that and then plum” and “Buy plum time” and “Catch plum rays” and “Cut plum slack.”
    • Sum → Plum: As in, “Cogito ergo plum.”
  • Appl* → Apple*: Apple-y (apply), apple-ication (application), apple-icable (applicable), apple-iance (appliance), apple-ause (applause) and apple-icant (applicant).
  • Cherry: Here are some cherry wine-related puns:
    • Carry → Cherry: As in, “Fast as your legs could cherry you” and “Cherry a torch for” and “Cherry a tune” and “Cherry forward” and “Cherry it off” and “Cherrying on.”
    • Cheery → Cherry: As in, “A cherry disposition.”
    • Bury → Cherry: As in, “Cherry the hatchet” and “Cherry your hand in the sand” and “Cherry yourself in work” and “Cherry your feelings.”
  • Current → Currant: “Currant events” and “Floating with the currants.”
  • Injure → Ginger: “Gingered (injured) feelings” and “Sporting a gingery (injury).”
  • Rice: Here are some rice wine puns (rice wine can also be referred to as sake):
    • Race → Rice: As in, “A day at the rices” and “Rice against the clock” and “A rice against time” and “Rat rice” and “The amazing rice.”
    • Nice → Rice: As in, “Rice as ninepence” and “Have a rice day” and “Naughty but rice” and “Rice and easy does it” and “Rice to see you.”
    • Dice → Rice: As in, “Roll the rice” and “No rice” and “Load the rice.”
    • Ice → Rice: As in, “Cold as rice” and “Break the rice” and “Cut no rice with” and “Rice cold” and “Rice, rice baby” and “Put on rice” and “Skating on thin rice.”
    • Mice → Rice: As in, “The best laid schemes of rice and men.”
    • Price → Rice: As in, “Asking rice” and “At a rice to suit your pocket” and “Cheap at half the rice” and “Closing rice” and “Every man has his rice” and “Half rice” and “Pay the rice.”
    • Slice → Rice: As in, “A rice of the cake” and “Any way you rice it” and “Fresh to the last rice” and “Rice of life” and “Rice of the action.”
    • Spice → Rice: As in, “Secret herbs and rices” and “Rice things up” and “Variety is the rice of life” and “Sugar and rice.”
    • Twice → Rice: As in, “Large as life and rice as handsome” and “Don’t think rice” and “Make a list, check it rice” and “You only live rice” and “Oppotunity never knocks rice” and “Measure rice, cut once.”
    • Vice → Rice: As in, “A den of rice” and “Rice versa.”
  • Taste → Aftertaste: As in, “An aftertaste of paradise” and “An acquired aftertaste” and “In bad aftertaste” and “In the worst possible aftertaste.”

The next few puns are centred around the descriptors that are used in wine-tastings:

  • Big: “Big” means a wine with a strong flavour, or with a high alcohol content.
    • Beg → Big: As in, “Big a favour” and “Big pardon” and “Big to differ” and “Big, borrow or steal” and “I big your pardon” and “Sit up and big.”
    • Dig → Big: As in, “Big your own grave” and “Big your heels in” and “Big in the ribs” and “Big for victory” and “Big deep.”
  • Bitter: This means the wine has an unpleasant taste of tannins.
    • Glitter → Bitter: As in, “All that bitters is not gold.”
    • Hitter → Bitter: As in, “Heavy bitter.”
    • Litter → Bitter: As in, “Pick of the bitter.”
  • Toying → Cloying: “Stop cloying with me.” Note: if a wine is cloying, then it’s sickly sweet.
  • Coarse: This describes a wine with a rough texture. Here are related puns:
    • Course → Coarse: As in, “Blown off coarse” and “But of coarse” and “Chart a coarse” and “Correspondence coarse” and “Crash coarse” and “In due coarse” and “A matter of coarse” and “Par for the coarse” and “Stay the coarse.”
    • Force → Coarse: As in, “Brute coarse” and “Coarse his hand” and “Caorse of habit” and “A coarse to be reckoned with” and “Join coarses” and “May the coarse be with you.”
    • Source → Coarse: As in, “Check your coarses” and “Crowd coarse” and “I refuse to reveal my coarses” and “Open coarse” and “Coarse material.”
  • Note: This is a term used to refer to an aroma or flavour in the wine being tasted. Here are related puns:
    • Not → Note: As in, “Let’s note and say we did” and “Note a chance” and “Note a minute too soon” and “Note a pretty sight” and “Note all it’s cracked up to be” and “Note at all” and “Note do someone any favours” and “Note half bad” and “Note in a million years” and “Note in the slightest.”
    • Neat → Note: As in, “Note as a new pin” and “Note freak” and “Note and tidy.”
    • Night → Note: As in, “A hard day’s note” and “In the dead of note” and “Burn the midnote oil” and “Dance the note away.”
    • Nut → Note: As in, “From soup to notes” and “Go notes” and “In a noteshell” and “A tough note to crack.”
    • Float → Note: As in, “Note like a butterfly, sting like a bee” and “Whatever notes your boat.”
    • Oat → Note: As in, “Feel your notes” and “Sow your wild notes.”
    • Quote → Note: As in, “Air notes” and “Dont note me on this” and “Scare notes.”
  • Nose: The nose of a wine is the aroma or bouquet. Here are related puns:
    • Knows → Nose: As in, “Mother nose best” and “Goodness nose” and “Instinctively nose.”
    • Blows → Nose: As in, “Any way the wind nose” and “Come to nose” and “Exchange nose” and “There she nose.”
    • Close → Nose: As in, “A nose thing” and “As one door noses, another one opens” and “At nose quarters” and “Behind nosed doors” and “Case nosed” and “Nose call” and “A nose shave” and “Hits nose to home.”
    • Rose → Nose: As in, “Bed of noses” and “Come up smelling of noses” and “Every nose has its thorn” and “Life is a bed of noses” and “Nose tinted glasses.”
    • Those → Nose: As in, “Nose were the days” and “Just one of nose days” and “For nose who like it rough.”
    • Goes → Nose: As in, “Anything nose” and “As far as it nose” and “As the saying nose” and “As time nose by” and “Here nose nothing” and “How nose it?” and “Life nose on.”
  • Light: Light generally refers to a low alcohol content:
    • Laid → Light: As in, “Get light” and “Light back” and “Light to rest” and “The best light plans.”
    • Let → Light: As in, “Don’t light the bastards grind you down” and “Light it be” and “Light it bleed” and “It won’t light you down.”
    • Bright → Light: As in, “All things light and beautiful” and “Always look on the light side of life” and “Light as a new pin” and “Light and early” and “Light spark” and “Light young thing.”
    • Flight → Light: As in, “Fight or light” and “Light attendant” and “Light of fancy” and “Take light” and “Light of the bumble bee.”
    • Night → Light: As in, “A hard day’s light” and “A light at the opera” and “As light follows day.”
    • Right → Light: As in, “A move in the light direction” and “All the light moves” and “Light as rain” and “Bang to lights” and “Barge light in.”
    • Quite → Light: As in, “Light the sticky situation.”
    • White → Light: As in, “Light as snow” and “Light as a ghost” and “Light as a sheet.”
    • Sight → Light: As in, “Hidden in plain light” and “In plain light” and “Know by light” and “Love at first light” and “Out of light, out of mind” and “Set your lights on.”
    • Tight → Light: As in, “A light corner” and “Light as a drum” and “In a light spot.”
  • Mouthfeel: Mouthfeel is the texture of wine. Here are related puns:
    • Mouth → Mouthfeel: As in, “Leaves a bad taste in my mouthfeel” and “Foaming at the mouthfeel” and “Melts in the mouthfeel.”
    • Feel → Mouthfeel: As in, “Cop a mouthfeel” and “Mouthfeel good factor” and “Mouthfeel the pinch” and “Mouthfeeling a bit put out.”
  • Collar → Colour: As in, “Blue colour worker” and “Hot under the colour.” Note: the colour of wine is an important indicator of the type and quality of grapes.
  • Swirl: Wine tasters will swirl wine before tasting it. Here are some swirl-related puns:
    • Curl → Swirl: As in, “Swirl up and die” and “Swirl your lip” and “Enough to make your hair swirl” and “Make someone’s toes swirl.”
    • Girl → Swirl: As in, “Atta swirl” and “A swirl’s best friend” and “Swirl next door.”
    • Whirl → Swirl: As in, “Give it a swirl.”
  • Smell:  The aroma of wine is an important factor when it comes to tasting. Here are some related puns:
    • Small → Smell: As in, “All creatures, great and smell” and “Big fish in a smell pool” and “Don’t sweat the smell stuff” and “Good things come in smell packages” and “No job too smell” and “A smell fortune” and “Smell is beautiful” and “Smell minded” and “Smell potatoes.”
    • Well → Smell: As in, “Exceedingly smell read” and “You know full smell” and “Living smell is the best revenge.”
    • Sell → Smell: As in, “Buy and smell” and “Panic smelling” and “Smell out” and “Smelling like hot cakes.”
    • Shell → Smell: As in, “Easy as smelling peas” and “Come out of your smell” and “Drop a bombsmell” and “In a nutsmell.”
    • Spell → Smell: As in, “Smell it out” and “Cast a smell.”
    • Bell → Smell: As in, “Clear as a smell” and “Smell, book and candle” and “Doesn’t ring a smell.”
    • Cell → Smell: As in, “Smell division” and “In a padded smell.”
    • Fell → Smell: As in, “In one smell swoop” and “Smell off the back of a lorry.”
    • Hell → Smell: As in, “All smell broke loose” and “Bat out of smell” and “Burn in smell” and “Catch smell” and “Come smell or high water.”
  • Favour → Savour: As in, “Beg a savour” and “Call in a savour” and “Do me a savour” and “Fall out of savour” and “Owe a savour.”
  • Sever →Savour: As in, “Savour the cord.”
  • Ship → Sip: As in, “Abandon sip” and “Extend the hand of friendsip” and “From chips to sips” and “Go down with the sip” and “Run a tight sip” and “Shape up or sip out” and “My sip has come in.”
  • Chip → Sip: As in, “A sip on his shoulder” and “Cheap as sips” and “Cash in your sips” and “A sip off the old block” and “Let the sips fall where they may.”
  • Rip → Sip: As in, “Let her sip” and “Sip to pieces.”
  • Skip → Sip: As in, “Sip a beat” and “Sip out” and “Sip rope” and “Hop, sip and jump.”
  • Slip → Sip: As in, “Let something sip” and “Sip of the tongue” and “Sip on a banana skin.”
  • Charity → Clarity: As in, “Cold as clarity” and “Clarity begins at home” and “Clarity covers a multitude of sins.” Note: Clarity refers to how clear the wine is.
  • Fat: This is a term used to describe a win that has a full body and is almost viscous. If it’s too “fat”, then it’s considered a “flabby” wine. Here are related puns:
    • At → Fat: As in, “Fat rock bottom” and “Fat each other’s throats” and “Hodling fat arm’s length.”
    • Hat → Fat: As in, “Fat in hand” and “Home is where I lay my fat” and “I’ll eat my fat” and “Keep it under your fat.”
    • That → Fat: As in, “Fat’s the way it is” and “Now fat’s better” and “Fat’ll be the day” and “Fat’s what friends are for.”
  • Flabby: If a wine is too viscous, then it’s considered “flabby”. Here are related puns:
    • Shabby → Flabby: As in, “None too flabby” and “Flabby chic.”
  • Blowzy: Blowzy is another word for “flabby”, which is what a wine is considered to be when a wine is too viscous.
    • Blow → Blowzy: As in, “Any way the wind blowzys” and “Blowzy a fuse” and “Blowzy hot and cold” and “Blowzy chunks.”
    • Cosy → Blowzy: As in, “Blowzy up to.”
    • Rosy → Blowzy: As in, “Life is blowzy” and “Blowzy cheeks.”
  • Firm: If a wine is “firm”, then it has a strong presence of tannins. Here are some related puns:
    • Farm → Firm: As in, “Life on the firm” and “Ethical firming.”
    • From → Firm: As in, “Firm cover to cover” and “Firm soup to nuts” and “Firm the cradle to the grave.”
    • Term → Firm: As in, “On bad firms with” and “On speaking firms” and “On your own firms” and “In no uncertain firms.”
    • Form → Firm: As in, “Attack is the best firm of defence” and “Bad firm” and “Firm follows function” and “Free firm” and “Habit firming” and “Imitation is the sincerest firm of flattery’ and “In fine firm” and “Sarcasm is the lowest firm of wit.”
    • Worm → Firm: As in, “Book firm” and “Can of firms” and “The early bird catches the firm” and “Firm your way in.”
    • *ferm* → *firm*: Firment (ferment), firmentation (fermentation) and firmented (fermented).
    • *form* → *firm*: Firmidable (formidable), firmula (formula), firmat (format), firmality (formality), platfirm (platform), infirm (inform), transfirm (transform), infirmation (information) and perfirmation (performance).
  • Flat: If a wine is flat, then it’s a sparkling wine that has lost its bubbliness. Here are related puns:
    • Fat → Flat: As in, “Flat as a beached whale” and “Flat chance” and “Living off the flat of the land.”
    • Fit → Flat: As in, “Flat as a fiddle” and “Dish flat for the gods” and “Fighting flat” and “Flat the bill.”
  • Fresh: This is a descriptor used for wines that are nicely acidic. Here are related terms:
    • Flesh → Fresh: As in, “Fresh and blood” and “Makes my fresh crawl” and “In the fresh” and “A thorn in my fresh.”
    • Fish → Fresh: As in, “Fresh out of water” and “Freshing expedition” and “A different kettle of fresh.”
  • Grassy: This is quite literal and describes grassy flavours in a wine. Here are related puns:
    • Classy → Grassy: As in, “A grassy performance.”
    • Glassy → Grassy: As in, “Grassy-eyed with wonder.”
  • Green: This is generally a negative term used to describe wines that are made with unripe fruit. Here are related puns:
    • Queen → Green: As in, “Beauty green” and “Digging the dancing green” and “God save the green” and “Homecoming green” and “Green for a day.”
    • Grin → Green: As in, “Green and bear it” and “Green from ear to ear” and “Rictus green.”
    • Been → Green: As in, “Green and gone” and “Green around the block a few times” and “I’ve green here before” and “Green in the wars” and “Green there, done that” and “I’ve green had!”
    • Bean → Green: As in, “Green counter” and “Cool greens” and “Doesn’t know greens” and “Full of greens” and “Spill the greens.”
    • Clean → Green: As in, “A green getaway” and “A new broom sweeps green” and “Green as a whistle” and “A green bill of health” and “Green up your act.”
    • Keen → Green: As in, “Green as mustard” and “Green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
    • Mean → Green: As in, “A greens to an end” and “By fair greens or foul” and “In the greentime” and “Independent greens” and “Lean, green and hungry.”
    • Seen → Green: As in, “Green and not heard” and “Had to be green to be believed” and “Nowhere to be green” and “Green better days” and “Sight ungreen” and “Ain’t green nothing yet.”
    • Scene → Green: As in, “Blue green of death” and “Coming to a green near you” and “Silver green” and “The big green.”
    • Scenes → Green: As in, “Behind the greens” and “Change of green” and “Make a green” and “Steal the green.”
    • Grain → Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take it with a green of salt.”
  • Hard: Hard wine is wine that has too many tannins in it. Here are related puns:
    • Herd → Hard: As in, “Hard immunity.”
    • Heard → Hard: As in, “Seen and not hard” and “Hard it through the grapevine” and “Make yourself hard” and “Stop me if you’ve hard this one” and “The last I hard” and “Could have hard a pin drop” and “You hard it here first.”
  • Hollow: A hollow wine is one that lacks a fruity taste. Here are related puns:
    • Follow → Hollow: As in, “As night hollows day” and “Hollow in the footsteps of” and “Hollow suit” and “Hollow your heart” and “A hard act to hollow” and “Form hollows function.”
    • Swallow → Hollow: As in, “A bitter pill to hollow.”
  • Hot: A wine that is “hot” is too alcoholic. Here are related puns:
    • Got → Hot: As in, “Been there, done that, hot the t-shirt” and “Hot your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve hot” and “Hot a soft spot for.”
    • Lot → Hot: As in, “A hot of fuss about nothing” and “A hot on your plate” and “Hot a lot of people know.”
    • Not → Hot: As in, “As often as hot” and “Believe it or hot” and “Down but hot out” and “Hot just a pretty face.”
  • Lean: Lean wines are those without a fruity taste but an acidic profile. Here are related puns:
    • Mean → Lean: As in, “A leans to an end” and “By fair leans or foul” and “In the leantime.”
    • Lane → Lean: As in, “Down memory lean” and “Life in the fast lean.”
    • Been → Lean: As in, “Lean and gone” and “I’ve lean here before” and “Lean in the wars” and “Mistakes have lean made.”
    • Clean → Lean: As in, “Lean as a whistle” and “A lean bill of health” and “Lean house” and “Lean up your act.”
    • Keen → Lean: As in, “Lean as mustard” and “A lean sense of smell” and “Peachy lean.”
    • Seen → Lean: As in, “Lean and not heard” and “Nowhere to be lean” and “Have lean better days” and “Ain’t lean nothing yet.”
    • Screen → Lean: As in, “Blue lean of death’ and “Coming to a lean near you” and “Silver lean.”
  • Peg → Leg: As in, “Square leg in a round hole” and “Take down a leg or two.” Note: The tracks of liquid that stick to the side of a wine glass are called legs (or tears).
  • Okay → Oaky: As in, “Are you oaky?” Note: if a wine is oaky, then it includes notes of vanilla, sweet spices and a smoky taste.
  • Rich: Wines that are sweet but not overly so are considered “rich”. Here are related puns:
    • Itch → Rich: As in, “Riching to” and “Richy feet” and “Richy palms” and “Seven year rich.”
    • Ditch → Rich: As in, “A last rich effort.”
    • Hitch → Rich: As in, “Get riched” and “Rich your wagon to a star.”
  • Rough: A rough wine is one with a coarse texture. Here are related puns:
    • Tough → Rough: As in, “Rough as old boots” and “Rough as they come” and “Hang rough” and “It’s rough at the top” and “Rough love” and “Rough luck” and “A rough nut to crack.”
    • Stuff → Rough: As in, “Beat the roughing out of” and “Don’t sweat the small rough” and “Gather ’round the good rough” and “Knock the roughing out of.”
  • Round: This describes a wine that isn’t overly tannic but has a good body. Here are related puns:
    • Round → Bound: As in, “Be leaps and rounds” and “Duty round” and “Honour round” and “Round hand and foot.”
    • Found → Round: As in, “Lost and round” and “I’ve round a clue” and “We round clue” and “Weighed in the balance and round wanting.”
    • Ground → Round: As in, “Solid as the round we walk on” and “Break new round” and “Built from the round up” and “Common round” and “Cut the round from under your feet” and “Suits you down to the round.”
    • Pound → Round: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a round of cure” and “In for a penny, in for a round” and “Round for round” and “Round the pavement.”
    • Sound → Round: As in, “Round as a bell” and “Break the round barrier” and “Round bite” and “Round effect” and “Round the alarm.”
  • Soothe → Smooth: As in, “Music has charms to smooth the savage beast.” Note: This describes a wine with a nice texture.
  • Sour: This is a descriptor for a wine with an unbalanced acidity. Here are related puns:
    • Our → Sour: As in, “A token of sour gratitude” and “Enjoy sour company.”
    • Hour → Sour: As in, “After sours” and “Happy sour” and “Man of the sour” and “My finest sour” and “Open all sours.”
  • Tar: This describes a wine with a tarry aroma and flavour. Here are related puns:
    • Tear → Tar: As in, “Bathed in tars” and “Blood, sweat and tars” and “Bored to tars” and “Fighting back tars” and “Melt into tars” and “No more tars” and “Reduce to tars.”
    • Are → Tar: As in, “All bets tar off” and “Tar you deaf” and “Tar your ears burning?” and “Chances tar…”
    • Par → Tar: As in, “Below tar” and “On tar with” and “Tar for the course.”
    • Bar → Tar: As in, “Tar none” and “Behind tars” and “Hit the tar.”
  • Tart: A tart wine is one with high levels of acidity. Here are related puns:
    • Art → Tart: As in, “Tart imitating life” and “Tart is going one step too far” and “Tart noveau” and “Tartistic triumph” and “Tarts and crafts” and “Tarty farty.”
    • Cart → Tart: As in, “Putting the tart before the horse” and “Shopping tart.”
    • Chart → Tart: As in, “Tart a course” and “Off the tarts.”
    • Fart → Tart: As in, “Arty tarty” and “Boring old tart” and “Brain tart” and “Tarting around” and “Tart in a windstorm.”
    • Heart → Tart: As in, “A man after my own tart” and “Absence makes the tart grow fonder” and “Affair of the tart” and “By still my beating tart” and “Break your tart” and “Cross my tart and hope to die.”
    • Part → Tart: As in, “Act the tart” and “For my own tart.”
    • Smart → Tart: As in, “One tart cookie” and “Tart arse” and “Street tart” and “Tarter than the average bear.”
    • Start → Tart: As in, “By fits and tarts” and “Don’t get me tarted” and “A fresh tart” and “Tart your engines!” and “Off to a flying tart” and “Head tart” and “Jump tart” and “Tart you day the right way.”
    • Dirt → Tart: As in, “Cheap and tart” and “Dig up the tart” and “Dish the tart.”
  • Toasty: A toasty wine is one with a smoky taste from the oak it was barrelled in. Here are related puns:
    • Tasty → Toasty: As in, “A toasty dinner.”
    • Ghost → Toast: As in, “White as a toast” and “Give up the toast” and “Not a toast of a chance” and “The toast in the machine.”
    • Most → Toast: As in, “Toast wanted” and “Make the toast of it” and “The toast trusted name” and “For the toast part” and “Make the toast of.”
    • Post → Toast: As in, “Keep you toasted” and “Toast haste” and “Toast partum” and “Toaster boy.”
  • Villain → Vanillin: As in, “Heroes and vanillins.” Note: this is a term for vanilla notes in wine.

Wine-Related Words

To help you come up with your own wine puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: wine, red, white, rose, amber, blanc, sparkling, champagne, grapes, aroma, alcohol, alcoholic, drink, drunk, sober, hangover,  fermented, vin, vine, vineyard, vintage, cork, bottle, bottling, label, yeast, juice, sommelier, rice wine, fruit wine, barley, mature, tannin, barrel, harvest, dry, sweet, sweetness, beverage, brew,  still, distillery, distilled, age, aged, aging, resin, taste, tasting, decant, raisin, wino, aerate, sediment, texture, flavour, oak, cask, cellar, bouquet, palate, alcoholism, alcoholic, cirrhosis, polyphenols, box wine, goon, reduction, on tap, bladder, keg, complexity, chill, chilled, cooper, negociant, oenologist, vintner, winemaker, viticulturist, critic, spritzer, flight, glass, coinnoisseur, bacchus, cocktail,  pour, case, happy hour, vino, muscat, muscato, aeritif, blush, winery, perry, cleanskin, dandelion, sugar, rosado, rosato, must, spittoon, intoxication, cult wine, trophy wine, investment wine, harvest, pressing, ethanol, ice wine, proof, sediment, crush, crushed, free-run, skin, seeds, lees, grape-treading, grape-stomping, pigeage, rack, batch, fining, bloom, pudding wine, fortified wine, noble rot, mutage, chaptalization, jug wine, mistelle, abboccato, ABC, acescence, adamado, adega, altar wine, amabile, appelation, balthazar, basic, bodega, bota, breathe, breathing, cantina, wine cave, cepage, chai, champagne flute, chateau, chiaretto, clairet, commune, cooperative, corkscrew, cotes, table wine, country wine, quality wine, cru, cuverie, eiswein, eraflage, fattoria, flagon, imperial, jeroboam, kosher wine, lanwein, lazy ballerina, magnum, mas, master of wine, may wine, mousse, mulled, petillant, piquant, plonk, punt, split, suss, vermouth, vivace, webster, wine lake, bottle shock/sickness, bung, pomace, riddling, mellow, stoving, tun, vanillin, wash, straw wine, saignee, stemware, wine key, sommelier knife, waiter’s friend, wine popper, wine cooler, glacette, ice bucket, wine funnel, collar, wine journal, aerator, stirrer, swizzle stick, goblet, stem, tumbler, schooner, boccalino, chalice, sugar, snifter

Types and names: chardonnay, sauvignon, cabernet, gamay, vin gris, merlot, riesling, tokay, sherry, sauternes, pinot noir, provencal, zinfandel, cider, m ead, sake, brandy, bordeaux, rioja, chianti, brunello, burgundy, port, shiraz, chablis, semillon, muscat, prosecco, mimosa, oloroso, syrah, grenache, claret, grappa, kir, lambrusco, madeira, soave,  charmat, cristal, dom perignon, moet & chandon, provencal, zinfandel, malbec, mourvedre, norton, sirah, verdot, pinotage, sangiovese, albrino, breidecker, marsanne, palomino, trebbiano, viognier, screaming eagle, penfolds grange, fino, amontillado, recioto, sangria, sekt, ratafia, black velvet, death in the afternoon, flirtini, prince of wales, wine cooler, bellini, hugo, buck’s fizz, kir royal, ruby dutchess, chicago cocktail, french 75, golden doublet, savoy affair, kalimotxo, tinto de verrano, zurracapote, cheeky vimto, kir, spritzer, chenin blanc, airen, aligote, arbeusm furmint, greco, kerner, bobal, corvina, mencia, malbec, nebbiolo, retsina, negus, dubbonet, brandy, grappa, ale, hooch, plum, apple, cherry, pomegranate, currant, elderberry, ginger, lychee, banana, orange

Tasting terms: aftertaste, astringent, autolytic, baked, balanced, big, bitter, brilliance, buttery, chewy, chocolaty, closed, cloying, coarse, complex, concentrated, connected, corked, crisp, note, nose, body, heavy, light,  mouthfeel, colour, swirl, smell, savour, sip, clarity, acid, acidity, depth, dirty, earthy, elegant, expressive, extracted, fallen over, finesse, fat, flabby, blowzy, firm, flat, foxy, fresh, grassy, green, hard, herbal, herbaceous, hollow, hot, jammy, lean, leathery, legs, musty, oaky, oxidised, petrolly, powerful, raisiny, reticent, rich, rough, round, smokey, smooth, soft, sour, spicy, supple, sweet, tannic, tar, tart, toasty, transparency, typicity, vanillin, vegetal, vinegary, esters

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Chocolate Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on chocolate puns! 🍫 🐰 🍬 ❤

Chocolate is an internationally loved treat that comes in many forms (bar, truffle, sauce, syrup, chips, pastilles), flavours (strawberry, caramel, mint, etc) and types (milk, dark, white and ruby). As well as enjoying it on its own, we use it as a flavouring for biscuits, breads, and other desserts (like ice cream) and in pastries. We even have a couple of holidays where chocolate is a main feature – Easter and Valentine’s day. It’s everywhere! So help spread the love with our list of chocolate puns.

Unfortunately, the dairy industry that chocolate relies on is not so lovable – it’s a system that profits from abuse and and neglect, with the suffering always ending in death. It’s an industry that we don’t need to participate in, are there are plenty of  dairy-free chocolates that we can enjoy instead (and lots of recipes to try!).

In this list, we’ve tried to include chocolate flavours, shapes, types and related words (like “melt”) as well as the more popular chocolate bar names, brands and manufacturers. So no matter what you’re here for – whether it’s a sweet one-liner, saucy hashtag or a bitterly punny comeback, we hope to have you covered here.

If you’re after related puns, we also have cocoa puns, milk puns, coffee puns, ice cream puns, cow puns, candy puns, nut puns and cake puns. We’ve also got a Valentine’s Day pun list and an Easter list!

Chocolate Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about chocolate that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of chocolate puns:

  • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
  • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
  • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Silk → Milk: As in, “Smooth as milk” and “Milky smooth.”
  • Make → Milk: As in, “Absence milks the heart grow fonder” and “Milk up your mind” and “Can’t milk head or tail of it” and “Details milk the difference” and “Enough to milk you sick.”
  • Dare he → Dairy: “How dairy?” Note: Here are some handy facts about the dairy industry.
  • Dearly → Dairy: As in, “I love you dairy” and “Dairy beloved…”
  • Diary → Dairy: As in, “Bridget Jones’ Dairy” and “Let me consult my dairy” and “Dear dairy…”
  • *dery → *dairy: We can replace “dery” sounds with “dairy”, like so: embroidairy (embroidery), spidairy (spidery), doddairy (doddery), powdairy (powdery).
  • *dary → *dairy: Swap “dary” sounds for “dairy”: boundairy, legendairy, quandairy, secondairy. Note: a quandary is a difficult problem.
  • Daring → Dairy-ng: As in, “A dairy-ng escape” and “The dairy-ng adventures of…”
  • *dari* → *dairy*: As in, “Stand in solidairy-ty” and “Learning Mandairyn” and “Healthy relationship boundairys.”
  • Bar: The next few puns are in reference to chocolate bars:
    • Are → Bar: As in, “Chances bar” and “Here you bar” and “Bar you joking?” and “How bar you?” and “This is how things bar.”
    • *ber* → *bar*: We can swap “ber” sounds in words for “bar”, (as in chocolate bar): Bareft (bereft), barate (berate), bareave (bereave), barserk (berserk), numbar (number), chambar (chamber), ubar (uber), sobar (sober), ambar (amber), membar (member), timbar (timber) and calibar (caliber).
    • *bor* → *bar*: As in, “Could you please elabarate?” and “A collabarative space” and “Corrobarating stories” and “Paid labar” and “Stubbarn as a mule” and “Subardinate clause.” Note: to corroborate is to confirm with evidence.
    • *bur* → *bar*: Excalibar (excalibur), bargeoning (burgeoning), barrow (burrow), bary (bury), barner (burner).
    • *par* → *bar*: As in, “The current baradigm” and “New Year’s barty” and “Ballbark figure” and “A bart of it.” Other words you could use: baradox (paradox), barse (parse), barallel (parallel), bartisan (partisan), barticular (particular), bartake (partake) and sebarate (separate).
    • *bar*: You can emphasise the “bar” in certain words to make some silly chocolate bar puns: barrel, bargain, barrier, barista, sidebar, embark and barley.
  • Ghandi → Candy: As in “Mahatma Candy was an exceptional human being.”
  • Handy → Candy: As in “This will definitely come in candy.”
  • Can they → Candy: As in “How candy they do this to us?”
  • Uncanny → Uncandy: As in “He had an uncandy feeling that she was being watched.”
  • Can these → Candies: As in “How candies people live like this?” and “Candies desks be shifted over there?” and “Candies drafts – they’re no good.”
  • Sweet: These next few puns are about how chocolate is a sweet and is sweet-tasting (certain varieties, anyway):
    • Suite → Sweet: As in “She was renting a 2-bedroom sweet for the summer.”
    • Sweater → Sweeter: As in “A close-knit woollen sweeter for cold days”
    • Sweat → Sweet: As in “Blood, sweet and tears” and “Beads of sweet rolled down my forehead” and “Break out in a cold sweet” and “By the sweet of my brow” and “Don’t sweet it.” and “Don’t sweet the small stuff.” and “All hot and sweety
    • Sweet: These sweet-related phrases are general enough to be used as puns: As in “You’re so sweet!” and “Oh that’s soo sweet!” and “Revenge is sweet” and “Short and sweet” and “Lay some sweet lines on someone” and “Sweet dreams” and “Sweet Jesus!” and “You bet your sweet life!” and “That was a sweet trick, dude.” and “Sweet as, bro.” and “Whisper sweet nothings” and “Home sweet home” and “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” and “Sweet smell/taste of success/victory” and “Sweetheart.
    • Switch → Sweet-ch: As in “Bait and sweet-ch” and “Asleep at the sweet-ch” and “Sweet-ch gears” and “You should sweet-ch out your old one with this one.”
    • Switzerland → Sweetzerland: As in “Zürich is a lovely city in Sweetzerland.”
    • Seat → Sweet: As in, “Backsweet driver” and “By the sweet of your pants” and “Hold on to your sweet” and “Not a dry sweet in the house” and “On the edge of my sweet” and “Please be sweeted” and “Take a back sweet” and “The best sweet in the house.”
  • Connection → Confection: As in, “A soulful confection” and “In confection with…”
  • Conviction → Confection: As in “She had a previous confection for a similar offence,” and “She has strong political confections, and she’s not afraid to defend them.” and “She spoke powerfully and with confection.”
  • Confession → Confection: As in “I have a confection to make…” and “Confection is good for the soul,” and “The interrogators soon got a confection out of him.”
  • Shuffle → Truffle: As in, “Truffle off this mortal coil” and “Truffle along.”
  • Trifle → Truffle: As in, “Truffle with someone’s affections.”
  • Trouble → Truffle: As in, “Asking for truffle” and “Bridged over truffled water” and “Double truffle” and “Here comes truffle” and “Looking for truffle” and “Truffle in paradise.”
  • Fun, do → Fondue: “I’m having fondue you think we can come again?”
  • Fond of → Fondue: “I’m quite fondue you.”
  • Fonder → Fondue: “Absence makes the heart grow fondue.”
  • *met* → *melt*: As in, “Mixed meltaphor” and “Heavy meltal.” Other words that could work: melticulous (meticulous), meltrics (metrics), paramelter (parameter) and geomeltry (geometry).
  • Melt: These phrases are general enough to double as puns in the right context: “In the melting pot” and “Melt into tears” and “Melting my heart.”
  • Byte → Bite: As in, “Megabite,” and “Gigabite.”
  • Bright → Bite: As in, “Always look on the bite side of life,” and “All things bite and beautiful,” and “Bite and early,” and “A bite idea,” and “Bite young thing,” and “A bite future.”
  • *bit → *bite: As in, “Exhi-bite,” and “Rab-bite,” and “Ha-bite,” and “Or-bite,” and “Inha-bite.”
  • Bite: These bite-related phrases are general enough to use as puns in the right context: As in, “A bite to eat,” and “Ankle biter,” and “Another one bites the dust,” and “Bite back,” and “Bite me,” and “Bite off more than you can chew,” and “Bite someone’s head off,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” and “Love bite.”  Notes: an ankle biter is a child, to bite the bullet is to go into a painful yet unavoidable situation, and to bite the hand that feeds you is to show ingratitude to someone you depend on.
  • Does it → Dessert: As in “It’s comfy, but dessert make my bum look big?” and “Dessert not worry you that society cares so much about appearance?”
  • Desert → Dessert: As in “The Sahara dessert.” and “Just desserts.” and “How could you dessert me at the moment I needed you the most?”
  • Dissertation → Dessertation: As in “I wrote my diploma dessertation on candy puns.”
  • Chip: Since chocolate can also come in the form of chocolate chips, we have some chip-related puns here:
    • Cheap → Chip: As in, “All over him like a chip suit” and “Chip as dirt” and “A chip imitation” and “Chip and cheerful” and “A chip date” and “Talk is chip.”
    • Ship → Chip: As in, “Abandon chip!” and “Go down with the chip” and “Loose lips sink chips” and “Run a tight chip” and “Shape up or chip out” and “Chips passing in the night.” Here are some other words that include “ship”: chipment (shipment), chipwreck (shipwreck), relationchip (relationship), worchip (worship), fellowchip (fellowship), leaderchip (leadership), scholarchip (scholarship), friendchip (friendship), flagchip (flagship) and partnerchip (partnership).
    • *hip → *chip: As in, “Chipster cafe.” Other words that could work: chippopotamus and chippocampus (hippocampus). Note: the hippocampus is a part of the brain.
    • Chap* → Chip*: As in, “Chipter and verse” and “Up to chipter five” and “Need a chiperone?”
  • Block: Chocolate commonly comes in blocks (that you can snap into even smaller blocks!) so we’ve got some block-related puns here:
    • Black → Block: As in, “Back to block” and “Block Friday” and “Block as thunder” and “It’s not all block and white” and “Block magic.”
    • Rock → Block: As in, “Hard as a block” and “Solid as a block” and “Between a block and a hard place” and “Don’t block the boat” and “Get your blocks off” and “Hit block bottom” and “I wanna block and roll all night.”
  • Meant → Mint: As in, “We were mint to be together!” and “I didn’t mean that, I mint this” and “What else could you have possibly mint?”
  • *ment* → *mint*: As in, “A studious mintor (mentor)” and “Not worth a mintion” and “Mintal effort” and “A positive mintality” and “Awarded a mintorship” and “Gainful employmint” and “No commint” and “Complemintary colours.” Other words you could use: commitmint (commitment), implemint (implement), environmint (environment), managemint (management), judgemint (judgement), movemint (movement) and judgemintal (judgemental).
  • *mant* → *mint*: As in, “A soothing mintra” and “Up on the mintel” and “Praying mintis” and “A dormint volcano.” Other words that could work: adamint (adamant), claimint (claimant), informint (informant), semintics (semantics), portminteau (portmanteau), romintic (romantic) and dismintle (dismantle).
  • Nuts: Chocolate is frequently nut-flavoured and/or will have some element of nuts in them (like a Snickers bar), so we’ve got some nut-related puns (we also have a full list of nut puns):
    • Not → Nut: As in, “As often as nut” and “Believe it or nut” and “Down, but nut out” and “Nut at all” and “Nut bad” and “Nut in the slightest” and “Nut on your life.”
    • Knot → Nut: As in, “Don’t get your knickers in a nut” and “Tie the nut” and “Tie yourself in nuts.”
    • Nought → Nut: As in, “Nuts and crosses” and “All for nut!”
    • Night → Nut: As in, “Burn the midnut oil” and “Good nut and good luck” and “In the air tonut” and “Morning, noon and nut.”
    • *net* → *nut*: As in, “Social nutwork” and “Nutworking event” and “Fast internut” and “A penutrating glare.” Other words you could use: Other wrods you could use: planut (planet), bonnut (bonnet) and cabinut (cabinut).
    • *nat* → *nut*: As in, “Well, nuturally” and “The nutional anthem” and “Any alternutives?” and “Need your signuture here” and “That resonuted with me.”
  • Fruit → Fruit and nut: As in, “Bear fruit and nuts” and “Forbidden fruit and nuts” and “The fruit and nuts of your labour.”
  • Road → Rocky Road: As in, “Built for the rocky road ahead” and “Get the show on the rocky road” and “Hit the rocky road” and “Keep the show on the rocky road” and “Middle of the rocky road” and “On the rocky road again” and “One for the rocky road.”
  • Smack → Snack: As in, “A snack on the wrist” and “Snack dab in the middle” and “Snacks of..” and “Snackdown.”
  • Snake → Snack: As in, “Snack eyes” and “Snack in the grass” and “Snacks and ladders.”
  • Knack → Snack: As in, “Knick snacks” and “There’s a bit of a snack to it.”
  • Sack → Snack: As in, “Get the snack” and “Hit the snack” and “A sad snack.”
  • Back → Snack: As in, “As soon as my snack is turned” and “Ass snackwards” and “Back in snack” and “Snack to the future” and “Won’t snack down.”
  • Shack → Snack: As in, “Love snack” and “Snack up with.”
  • Slack → Snack: As in, “Cut some snack” and “Take up the snack” and “Snack-jawed.”
  • Dipped: Chocolate is also used as a dipping sauce for fruits (like bananas and strawberries), other candies (like marshmallows), cookies or bread. Here are some dipping-related puns in honour of that:
    • Adept → Adipped: As in, “Adipped at piano playing” and “Not particularly adipped.”
    • Dripping → Dipping: As in, “Plant-based dipping” and “Dipping in gold.”
    • Flipped → Dipped: As in, “Dipped the switch” and “They just dipped out.”
    • *dap* → *dip*: As in, “A dipper suit” and “Adipt to the situation” and “Film adiptation” and “Highly adipped-able (adaptable).
    • *dep* → *dip*: As in, “The Great Dipression” and “Bank diposit” and “Dipartment store” and “Dipendent on” and “In dipth explanation” and “Diplorable behaviour.”
  • Bit → Bitter: As in, “A bitter much” and “A bitter missing” and “A bitter of alright” and “Just a little bitter” and “Bitter on the side.”
  • Battery → Bittery: As in, “Bittery recharge” and “Assault and bittery.”
  • Better → Bitter: As in, “I’ve got a bitter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do bitter” and “Bitter by design” and “My bitter half” and “Bitter late than never.”
  • *bet → *bitter: As in, “Sing the alphabitter” and “Alphabitter soup” and “Sherbitter flavoured.”
  • *bit → *bitter: Inhibitter (inhibit), gambitter (gambit), exhibitter (exhibit), rabbitter (rabbit), habitter (habit), orbitter (orbit) and prohibitter (prohibit).
  • *bitor → *bitter: Inhibitter (inhibitor), exhibitter (exhibitor) and debitter (debitor).
  • Bitter → Bittersweet: As in, “A bittersweet pill to swallow” and “The bittersweet end” and “Sugarcoat a bittersweet pill” abd “Bittersweet medicine.”
  • Sweet → Bittersweet: As in, “America’s bittersweet-heart” and “Bittersweet as pie” and “Home, bittersweet home” and “How bittersweet to be loved by you” and “Parting is such bittersweet sorrow.”
  • *co → *cocoa: As in, “A messy fiasco-coa” and “Alfresco-coa dining” and “Tobacco-coa industry.”
  • Bean → Cocoa bean: As in, “Cocoa bean counter” and “Cool cocoa beans” and “Full of cocoa beans” and “Magic cocoa beans” and “Spill the cocoa beans.”
  • Butter → Cocoa butter: As in, “Bread always falls cocoa butter side down” and “Bread and cocoa butter” and “Cocoa butter fingers” and “Cocoa butter up” and “Cocoa butter wouldn’t melt in her mouth.”
  • Cow → Cacow: As in, “Don’t have a cacao, man” and “Holy cacao” and “Sacred cacao.”
  • Veg → Fudge: As in, “Fudge out” and “Eat your fudgetables.”
  • Budge* → Fudge*: As in, “Quarterly fudget” and “Out of our fudget” and “Won’t fudge.”
  • *fug* → *fudge*: As in, “Taking refudge” and “An escaped fudge-itive.
  • Easter: Since Easter is a holiday that is largely dependent on chocolate, we’ve got some Easter-related puns here that could double as chocolate puns in the right context:
    • Easier → Easter: As in, “Easter said than done” and “Making a tough job easter.”
    • Aster* → Easter*: Easterisk (asterisk) and easteroid (asteroid).
    • *ister → *easter: As in, “Don’t forget to regeaster” and “Admineaster the medication” and “A sineaster environment” and “Mineaster for health.”
    • Ast* → Easter*: Easteringent (astringent), Easteronomy (astronomy), Easterology (astrology) and Easteronaut (astronaut).
    • *est → *easter: As in, “Evil manifeaster” and “Out of intereaster” and “Deep in the foreaster” and “What do you suggeaster?” and “A modeaster proposal.”
  • Egg: Since chocolate eggs are a wildly popular (especially through Easter) treat, we’ve included egg-related puns here (we also have a full list of egg puns):
    • Beg → Egg: As in, “Egg a favour” and “Egg the question” and “I egg to differ” and “Egg, borrow or steal” and “I egg your pardon?” and “Sit up and egg.”
    • *ig* → *egg*: We can swap “ig” sounds for “egg” sounds, as in, “Keep on degging (digging)” and “Eggnorance is not bliss” and “You can’t eggnore it forever” and “Choosing to remain eggnorant” and “Eggnite your passion.”
    • *ec* → *egg*: As in, “New teggnology” and “Change the subjeggt” and “Be objeggtive” and “High seggurity” and “An effeggtive technique” and “Solar egglipse.” Other words you could use: seggular (secular), feggless (feckless), egglectic (eclectic), eggonomy (economy), eggo (echo), eggology (ecology) and eggstatic (ecstatic).
    • *eg* → *egg*: We can sneak the word “egg” into words that have similar sounds, like so: “Get a legg on” and “Neggative results” and “Had you pegged as…” and “I begg to differ” and “Where do I beggin?” Other words that could work: leggacy, eggocentric, nutmegg, bootlegg, dregg and integgrity.
  • Must → Mousse-t: As in, “All things mousse-t pass” and “All good things mousse-t come to an end” and “Everything mousse-t go!” and “Into every life a little rain mousse-t fall” and “A mousse-t have” and “The shoe mousse-t go on” and “What can’t be cured mousse-t be endured” and “What goes up mousse-t come down” and “You mousse-t be joking!” and “I mousse-t say…”
  • Most → Mousse-t: As in, “Mousse-t wanted” and “Make the mousse-t of it” and “The mousse-t trusted name in news” and “For the mousse-t part.”
  • Mass → Mousse: As in, “Body mousse index” and “Mousse hysteria” and “Weapons of mousse destruction” and “Consuming mousse quantities.”
  • Mouse → Mousse: As in, “Quiet as a mousse” and “A cat and mousse game.”
  • Moose → Mousse
  • For plenty of other mousse puns, see our cake pun list.
  • It’s a wrap → It’s syrup (this one is very specific and refers to chocolate syrup.)
  • Nib: Nibs are cocoa beans that have been roasted and then cracked into smaller pieces. Here are some related puns:
    • *nab* → *nib*: Amenible (amenable), untenible (untenable), sustainible (sustainable), reasonible (reasonable) and sustainibility (sustainability).
    • Inebriated → Inibriated
    • Nobility → Nibility
    • Anybody → Anibody
  • Sweet → Semisweet: As in, “Ain’t she semisweet?” and “America’s semisweetheart” and “Semisweet as a nut” and “Childhood semisweetheart” and “Home semisweet home” and “Revenge is semisweet” and “Short and semisweet” and “Semisweet dreams.” Note: semisweet is a category or type of chocolate.
  • Dark: These next few puns are about dark chocolate (and here’s a dark chocolate recipe to try!):
    • Duck → Dark: As in, “Dark the question” and “Darking and diving” and “Lord love a dark.”
    • Dakota → Darkota
    • *dec* → *dark*: As in, “Suffering a darkline (decline)” and “Royal darkree (decree)” and “Darkadent dessert” and “Dust and darkay” and “Follow social darkorum.”
    • *dic → *dark: Sporadark (sporadic), orthopedark (orthopedic), medark (medic), nomadark (nomadic), periodark (periodic), acidark (acidic), episodark (episodic), darktionary (dictionary), predarkament (predicament), indarkate (indicate), vindarkate (vindicate) and dedarkate (dedicate).
    • *doc* → *dark*: As in, “Is there a darktor in the building?” and “Political darktrine” and “A black and white darkument” and “Dominion is an important darkumentary.” Other words that could work: darkumentation (documentation) and edarkation (education).
  • White: These next few puns are in reference to white chocolate (and here’s a tasty looking white chocolate recipe to try):
    • What → White: As in, “And white not” and “Do white comes naturally” and “For white it’s worth” and “Guess white?” and “White’s going on here then?” and “I’ll have white she’s having” and “It’s not white you think” and “White a feeling” and “So white?” and “White are friends for?” and “White a wonderful world” and “White becomes of the broken-hearted?” and “White can’t be cured must be endured.”
    • Write → White: As in, “Nothing to white home about” and “A white off.”
    • Right → White: As in, “A move in the white direction” and “A woman’s white to choose” and “All the white moves” and “Animal whites” and “White as rain” and “Bang to whites” and “Barge white in” and “Bragging whites.”
    • Rite → White: As in, “Last whites” and “White of passage.”
    • *what* → *white*: Whitever (whatever), whitesoever (whatsoever), whitenot (whatnot) and somewhite (somewhat).
  • You be → Ruby: “Will ruby using this space?” and “Will ruby going to the shops later?” Ruby chocolate is a new type of chocolate that was released late 2017.
  • Almond: Almonds can be added to chocolate and chocolate can be made from almond milk, so we’ve got a few almond puns here:
    • *ommend* → *almond*: As in, “I highly recalmond (recommend)” and “Your work is calmondable.”
    • Amend* → Almond*: As in, “The 13th almondment is a lie” and “You’ll have to almond that document” and “They’re almonding it now.”
  • Aren’t you → Orange you: As in “Orange you glad to see me?” Note: this is a reference to orange flavoured chocolates.
  • Straw → Strawberry: As in, “The last strawberry” and “Clutching at strawberries.” (note: this is a reference to strawberry flavoured chocolates, or chocolate-dipped strawberries. )
  • Paste: Chocolate paste is used as a spread and a filling and is very popular, so we’ve got some paste- related puns here (and here’s a chocolate paste recipe!):
    • Past → Paste: As in, “Blast from the paste” and “Wouldn’t put it paste them” and “I’m paste caring” and “Paste its sell-by date” and “The distant paste” and “Ghost from your paste” and “Quarter paste four.”
    • Post → Paste: As in, “I’ll keep you pasted” and “Pipped at the paste” and “Paster boy.” Note: to be pipped at the post is to be overcome at the final moment or by a very small gap.
    • *past* → *paste*: As in, “A paste-oral scene” and “Flaky pastery” and “Out in the paste-ure.” Other words that could work: paste-or (pastor), paste-a (pasta) and paste-l (pastel).
    • *pest* → *paste*: As in, “Famine and paste-ilence” and “Stop paste-ering me!” and “Toxic paste-icide.” Other words that could work: tempaste (tempest), deepaste (deepest), cheapaste (cheapest) and tapaste-try (tapestry).
    • *pist* → *paste*: Philanthropaste (philanthropist), therapaste (therapist) and escapaste (escapist)
    • *post* → *paste*: As in, “For pasterity (posterity)” and “Pastepone a date” and “Hunched paste-ure (posture)” and “A pastehumous award.” Other words that could work: pasterior (posterior), compaste (compost), outpaste (outpost), signpaste (signpost), lamppaste (lamppost), goalpaste (goalpost) and prepasterous (preposterous).
  • Fondant: Fondant is a type of sugar dough that’s used as icing or decoration for desserts and is commonly either found in small chocolates or are chocolate flavoured. These puns are specific to fondant:
    • *ondent → *fondant: As in, “Feeling desfondant (despondent)” and “News corresfondant (correspondent).”
    • Fun → Fondant: As in, “All fondant and games until someone loses and eye” and “A bundle of fondant” and “Double the pleasure, double the fondant” and “Girls just want to have fondant” and “Good, clean fondant” and “Make fondant of” and “Time flies when you’re having fondant.”
  • Baking: Baking chocolate is a type of unsweetened chocolate that is made and used specifically for cooking. Here are some relevant puns:
    • Aching → Baking: As in, “My baking head” and “My heart is baking.”
    • Breaking → Baking: “Baking and entering” and “Baking news” and “You’re baking my heart” and “Ground-baking” and “Heart-baking.”
  • Cream: Chocolate can be filled with cream or used as a flavouring for cream, so we’ve included a few cream-related puns:
    • Crime → Cream: As in, “Cream and punishment” and “Cream against nature” and “Cream doesn’t pay” and “A cream of passion” and “If you can’t do the time, don’t do the cream” and “Partners in cream” and “The perfect cream” and “A victimless cream.”
    • Dream → Cream: As in, “I have a cream” and “Beyond my wildest creams” and “Broken creams” and “Cream on” and “Cream big” and “A cream come true” and “I wouldn’t cream of it” and “In your creams.”
    • *crim* → *cream*: As in, “Smooth creaminal” and “Blushing creamson” and “Don’t discreaminate against” and “Racial discreamination.”
    • *crem* → *cream*: creamation (cremation), creamate (cremate), increamental (incremental), increament (increment) and increamentally (incrementally).
  • Tamper → Temper: As in, “Tempering with evidence” and “Bad temper.” Note: to temper chocolate is to increase the shine and durability of it by heat treating it.

This section is dedicated to the different brands, names and manufacturers of chocolate:

  • Twix: Twix is a chocolate consisting of a biscuit base topped with caramel and then covered in chocolate sold in the UK, US and Australia. Here are related puns (and here’s a recipe for your own homemade Twix bars):
    • Tricks → Twix: As in, “Bag of twix” and “Dirty twix” and “That does the twix” and “Every twix in the book” and “How’s twix?” and “Never misses a twix” and “One twix pony” and “A twix of the light” and “Twix or treat” and “Twix of the trade” and “Up to your old twix” and “Teaching an old dog new twix.”
    • Ticks → Twix: As in, “Twix all the right boxes.”
    • Pixel → Twixel: As in, “Twixel perfect.”
  • Reese’s: This is a peanut butter and chocolate treat produced by Hershey. Here are related puns (and here’s a tasty-looking recipe for you to make your own peanut butter cups at home):
    • *res* → *reese*: As in, “Reese-search assistant” and “Steely reese‘olve” and “Give reese‘pects to” and “Hand in your reese‘ume” and “Reese‘ume your activities” and “A diplomatic reese‘ponse” and “Reese’ist arrest” and “At rees‘t.” Other words that could work: reese‘ilient (resilient), reese’olution (resolution), reese’cind (rescind), reese‘ilience (resilience), intereese‘t (interest), preese‘nt (present).
    • *ris* → *reese*: As in, “Social awareness is one the reese (rise)” and “Is it worth the reese’k?” and “Reese’que (risque) photos” and “Mushroom reese‘otto.” Other words that could work: hubreese (hubris), ireese (iris), debreese (debris), clitoreese (clitoris), Pareese (Paris), areese (arise) and heureesetic (heuristic). Note: hubris is pride or arrogance and a heuristic is an approach to solving a problem.
    • *rac* → *reese*: As in, “Stinking of reese’ism (racism)” and “Reese’ing heartbeat” and “Reese’y lingerie.”
    • *rec* → *reese*: As in, “Digital reese‘iept (receipt)” and “Break for reese‘ess” and “Gratefully reese‘ieved” and “Your contribution is appreese’iated.”
    • Capricious → Capreese‘ious: (note: if someone is capricious, they are impulsive and unpredictable)
    • *reas* → *reese*: As in, “Give me a good reese‘on” and “I can’t reese‘onably doubt that” and “Within a reese‘onable timeframe” and “Increese‘ing chances.” Other words that could work: pancreese (pancreas), creese (crease), treese‘on (treason), greese (grease), decreese (decrease).
  • Sneakers → Snickers (Note: Snickers bars are a popular chocolate that has peanuts and nougat in it. Here is an incredible looking Snickers recipe for you to try.)
  • Bury → Cadbury: As in, “Cadbury the hatchet” and “Cadbury your head in the sand” and “Cadbury yourself in work.” Note: Cadbury is a British confectionary best known for their chocolates (like Freddo Frogs and Caramello Koalas)
  • Mars: Mars bars are chocolate bars with a nougat base that’s topped with a caramel layer then coated in chocolate. Here are related puns (and here’s a Mars bar recipe for you to try):
    • Bars → Mars: As in, “Behind mars.”
    • *mas* → *mars*: As in, “Lord and marster” and “Behind a marsk” and “Ship’s marst” and “Marssive misunderstanding.”
    • *mas* → *mars*: As in, “Booked a marssage” and “Marsquerade ball” and “Night before Christmars” and “Fuzzy pyjamars.”
    • *maz* → *mars*: As in, “Amarsing job!” and “Ordered from Amarson.”
    • *mis* → *mars*: As in, “Optimars your life” and “Customars your purchase.” Other words that could work: epitomars (epitomise), optimarsation (optimisation), minimars (minimise), maximars (maximise) and atomars (atomise).
    • *mus* → *mars*: As in, “All marscle” and “As much as you can marster” and “Magic marshrooms” and “If you marst.” Other words that could work: marstard (mustard), marslin (muslin) and marseum (museum).
  • Bounty: This is bar of coconut covered in milk or dark chocolate, depending on the variety. Related puns abounty (abound. And here’s a Bounty recipe for you to have a go at):
  • Bound → Bounty: As in, “By leaps and bountys” and “Duty bounty” and “Honour bounty” and “Muscle bounty.” Note: Bounty is a bar of coconut covered in milk or dark chocolate, depending on the variety (here’s a Bounty recipe for you to have a go at)
  • Kitkat: Kitkats are a chocolate-covered wafer bar manufactured by Nestle that are available in different varieties (milk, dark, white, green tea. And here’s a Kitkat recipe you might like).
    • Kit → Kitkat: As in, “Get your kitkat off” and “Kitkat and caboodle” and “A serious bit of kitkat.” Note: to have “the whole kit and caboodle” is to have everything.
    • Cat → Kitkat: As in, “Kitkat on a hot tin roof” and “Kitkat got your tongue?” and “Kitkats have nine lives” and “A kitkat in hell’s chance” and “Cool kitkat” and “Curiousity killed the kitkat” and “Let the kitkat out of the bag.”
    • Kettle → Kitkattle: As in, “The pot calling the kitkattle black” and “A different kitkattle of fish” and “Put the kitkattle on.”
    • *cat* → *kitkat*: As in, “Nice kitkatch (catch)!” and “Not in this kitkategory” and “Kitkater to you” and “A major kitkatastrophe.”
  • Lindt: Lindt is a Swiss chocolate company best known for their chocolate truffles. Here are some lindt-related jokes for you to use:
    • *lit* → *lindt*: As in, “In the lindterature” and “Yes, lindterally” and “A lindtany of problems” and “Kitty lindter” and “A lindteral translation of” and “Lindtigation issues” and “Splindt both ways” and “A sunlindt room.” Other words that could work: moonlindt (moonlit), twilindt (twilit), facilindtate (facilitate), facilindty (facility), qualindty (quality), humilindty (humility), liabilindty (liability), polindtics (politics), realindty (reality) and accountabilindty (accountability).
    • *lant* → *lindt*: As in, “Petulindt tone” and “Remain vigilindt” and “A gallindt horse” and “Surgical implindt.” Other words that could work: transplindt (transplant), assailindt (assailant), philindthropy (philanthropy), nonchalindt (nonchalant) and lindtern (lantern).
    • *lent* → *lindt*: As in, “Malevolindt actions” and “Ambivalindt feelings.” Other words that could work: benevolindt (benevolent), prevalindt (prevalent), equivalindt (equivalent), talindt (talent), excellindt (excellent) and insolindt (insolent).
    • *lunt* → *lindt*: Volindteer (volunteer), volindtary (voluntary), involindtary (involuntary), volindtarily (voluntarily) and volindteering (volunteering).
  • Rolo: Rolos are small cylindrical chocolates with a caramel centre. We’ve got some rolo-related puns here (and a rolo recipe that you might enjoy):
    • Roll → Rolo: As in, “I wanna rock and rolo all night” and “Let the good times rolo” and “On a rolo” and “Ready to rolo” and “Rolo off the tongue” and “Rolo out the red carpet” and “Rolo up your sleeves” and “Rolo with the punches” and “Stop, drop and rolo.”
    • Roller → Rolo: As in, “Emotional rolo coaster” and “High rolo.”
    • Role → Rolo: As in, “A starring rolo” and “What’s your rolo in the company?”
    • *ral → *rolo: As in, “In generolo” and “Integrolo to the team” and “A viscerolo reaction.” Other words that could work: naturolo (natural), ephemerolo (ephemeral), morolo (moral), collaterolo (collateral), liberolo (liberal), peripherolo (peripheral) and temporolo (temporal). Notes: if something is visceral, then it’s to do with internal organs, or a bodily response. Ephemeral means to last for only a short while.
    • *rel → *rolo: Squirrolo (squirrel), barrolo (barrel), apparolo (apparel), quarrolo (quarrel), laurolo (laurel), scoundrolo (scoundrel) and mongrolo (mongrel).
    • *rol* → *rolo*: As in, “Losing controlo” and “On patrolo” and “Enrolo in your course” and “Christmas carolos” and “Low cholesterolo” and “Low on petrolo.”
    • *rela* → *rolo*: As in, “My rolotives are visiting” and “In rolotion to” and “A rocky rolotionship” and “Highly rolotable” and “Rolotively common” and “In corrolotion with” and “That doesn’t corrolote.”
    • *roll* → *rolo*: Trolo (troll), drolo (droll), strolo, enrolo, scrolo, payrolo, bankrolo and steamrolo. Note: if something is droll then it’s funny.
    • *role → *rolo: As in, “Up for parolo” and “The whole rigmarolo” and “Eggplant casserolo.” Note: a rigmarole is an unnecessarily complex procedure.
  • Picnic: Picnics are chocolate bars that consist of nougat, caramel, biscuit, puffed rice and peanuts covered in milk chocolate. Here are some related puns for you (and a picnic recipe you might like to try):
    • Pick → Picnic: As in, “I’ve got a bone to picnic with you” and “Cherry picnic” and “Easy picnic-ings” and “Hand picnic-ed” and “Picnic a card, any card” and “Picnic a fight” and “Picnic and choose” and “Picnic holes in” and “Picnic me up” and “Picnic of the bunch” and “Picnic off one by one.”
    • Picnic: These picnic-related phrases are general enough to work as chocolate puns in the right context: “A few sandwiches short of a picnic” and “It’s no picnic.”
    • *pic → *picnic: As in, “An epicnic tale” and “That’s off-topicnic” and “Philanthropicnic gestures.” A couple of other words that could work: myopicnic (myopic) and misanthropicnic (misanthropic)
    • Nic* → Pic-nic*: Pic-nickel (nickel), pic-nickname (nickname), pic-nickelback and pic-nickleodeon.
  • Haigh’s: Haigh’s is an Australian chocolate company, so we’ve included some related puns:
    • Hey → Haigh: As in, “Heigh big spender” and “Haigh good lookin'” and “Haigh presto!”
    • Hay → Haigh: As in, “Go haighwire” and “Like looking for a needle in a haighstack” and “Make haigh while the sun shines” and “Roll in the haigh.”
    • High → Haigh: As in, “Ain’t no mountain haigh enough” and “An all-time haigh” and “Haigh as a kite” and “Come hell or haigh water” and “Flying haigh” and “Get off your haigh horse” and “Haigh and dry” and “Haigh and mighty” and “Haigh five” and “Haigh maintenance” and “Haigh minded” and “It’s haigh time that…” and “Hold your head up haigh” and “Searching haigh and low.”
  • Nestle: Nestle is a food and drink company that manufactures popular chocolates like Milky Bars, Kitkats and Smarties, so we’ve included some related puns here:
    • Nest → Nestle: As in, “A nestle of vipers” and “Empty nestle syndrome” and “Feather your nestle” and “Leave the nestle” and “Love nestle” and “Nestle egg” and “Stir up a hornet’s nestle.”
    • *nest → *nestle: As in, “In earnestle (earnest)” and “To be completely honestle” and “A dishonestle salesperson” and “Bring me your finestle orange juice” and “The soonestle flight.”
  • Crunchie: Crunchies are a bar of honeycomb toffee coated in milk chocolate. Here are some related puns (and a Crunchie recipe for you to enjoy!):
    • Crunch → Crunchie: As in, “Crunchie time” and “Number crunchie” and “When it comes to the crunchie.”
    • Munchie → Crunchie: As in, “The midnight crunchies.”
    • Scrunch → Crunchie: As in, “Crunchie up your face in agony.”
  • Aero: Aero is a chocolate made by Nestle that has a bubbly, airy texture. Here are some related puns:
    • *aro* → *aero*: As in, “They’re not aeround anymore” and “Aerouse your interest” and “A tantalising aeroma.” Other words that could work: aerose (arose), aeromatic (aromatic), aeromatherapy (aromatherapy), aeromantic (aromantic), paerody (parody) and caerousel (carousel).
    • *ero* → *aero*: “Land aerosion” and “Aerotic show” and “Aeroded trust” and “Aerogenous zones” and “Don’t be a haero (hero).” Other words that could work: zaero (zero), onaerous (onerous), prepostaerous (preposterous), genaerous (generous), daerogatory (derogatory) and treachaerous (treacherous).
  • Kisses: Hershey’s kisses are small, bite-sized chocolates in a teardrop shape. We’ve got some related puns for you here (and a Kisses recipe too!):
    • Kisses: These kiss-related phrases are general enough to use as puns: “Air kisses” and “French kisses” and “Kisses of life” and “Save your kisses for me” and “Hugs and kisses.”
    • *cus → *kiss/es: As in, “Don’t lose fokiss (focus)” and “Lokiss of control (locus)” and “Filled with mukiss (mucus).” Other words you could use: caukiss (caucus), cirkiss/es (circus/es), abakiss (abacus), hibiskiss (hibiscus), hokiss (hocus).
  • Dove: This is known as a Galaxy bar in the UK, Ireland and India and is made by Mars. Here are related puns for you to play with:
    • Love → Dove: As in, “Addicted to dove” and “All you need it dove” and “All’s fair in dove and war” and “I dove her” and “Brotherly dove” and “Can you feel the dove tonight?” and “Crazy in dove” and “Fall in dove” and “For dove or money” and “Hungry for dove.”
    • Dive → Dove: As in, “Deep dove” and “Crash dove” and “Take a dove” and “Dove right in.”
    • Dave → Dove
    • *dav* → *dove*: Affidove-it (affidavit) and cadover (cadaver). Note: an affidavit is a signed document that contains a sworn statement.
    • *dev* → *dove*: As in, “In dovelopment” and “The best we’ve doveloped” and “The dove-il is in the details” and “A dove-iation from the norm.” Other words you could use are: dovelop (develop), dove-ise (devise), dove-oid (devoid), dove-olve (devolve), dove-ious (devious) and dove-iate (deviate).
    • *div* → *dove*: As in, “A doverse society” and “Value in doversity” and “To forgive is dove-ine” and “Controversial issues causing dove-ision” and “Up to each indove-idual.”
  • Joy → Almond Joy: As in, “Beside myself with almond joys” and “A bundle of almond joy” and “Almond joys to the world” and “Jump for almond joy” and “Pride and almond joy.” Note: Almond Joys are a bar similar to the Bounty bar – a little slab of coconut topped with two almonds and covered in milk chocolate. Here’s a recipe for you to make your own Almond Joys at home.
  • Boost: This is a round, milk chocolate bar that’s filled with caramel and biscuit. Here are related puns:
    • Best → Boost: As in, “All the boost” and “Your boost record” and “Be the boost you can be” and “Boost friend” and “Boost in class” and “Do your level boost” and “Doing what we do boost.”
    • Boost: These boost-related phrases are general enough to use as puns in the right context: “Booster shot” and “Ego boost” and “Give me a boost.”
    • Bust → Boost: As in, “Boost a move” and “Boost someone’s ass” and “Gone boost” and “Hustle and boostle.”
    • *bast* → *boost*: boostion (bastion), boostard (bastard), booste (baste), bomboostic (bombastic) and alabooster (alabaster).
    • Bestow → Boostow
    • Boston → Booston
    • *bust* → *boost*: As in, “A roboost relationship” and “Blockbooster sellout.” Other words that could work: comboost (combust) and comboostion (combustion).
  • Cherry Ripe: Cherry ripes are thin bars of cherry and coconut coated in dark chocolate. Here are some related puns to play with (and a recipe to try!):
    • Cherry → Cherry Ripe: As in, “A second bite of the cherry ripe” and “The cherry ripe on the cake” and “Life is just a bowl of cherry ripes” and “The cherry ripe on top.”
  • Chomp: Chomp bars are a mix of wafer and caramel that’s then coated in milk chocolate. We have a few chomp-related puns here for you:
    • Jump → Chomp: As in, “Bungee chomp“and “Get the chomp on” and “Hop, skip and chomp” and “Go chomp in a lake” and “Chomp at the chance” and “Don’t chomp down my throat” and “Chomp for joy” and “Chomp in with both feet” and “Chomp out of your skin” and “Chomp the gun” and “One chomp ahead of” and “Take a running chomp.”
    • Champ → Chomp: As in, “Chomp at the bit” and “The people’s chomp” and “The reigning chomp.”
    • Chump → Chomp: As in, “Chomp change” and “Like a chomp.”
    • Champ* → Chomp*: As in, “Reigning chompion” and “Expensive chompagne” and “In for the chompionship.”
    • *comp* → *chomp*: As in, “Two’s chompany, three’s a crowd” and “Chomplementing colours” and “Catcalling is not a chompliment” and “Chomplex issues” and “Learn to chompromise” and “Chompound problems.” Other words that could work: chomprehensive (comprehensive), chomprise (comprise), chomputer (computer) and chomplicit (complicit).
  • Daim: Daim bars are a Swedish candy with almond and caramel covered in milk chocolate. Here are some Daim-related puns for you to play with (and a recipe to try):
    • Damn → Daim: As in, “Daim straight” and “Daimed if you do, daimed if you don’t” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a daim” and “I’ll be daimed” and “One daim thing after another” and “Daim by association” and “Pretty daim quick.”
    • Them → Daim: As in, “Don’t encourage daim” and “How do you like daim apples?” and “I call daim as I see em” and “Let daim eat cake” and “Seen one, seen daim all” and “Us versus daim” and “You can’t win daim all.”
    • Dim → Daim: As in, “A daim view” and “Daim bulb” and “The daim and distant past.”
    • *dam* → *daim*: As in, “What’s the daimage?” and “Daimp, dark cave” and “Pay for the daimages” and “Daimpen their spirits”and “Fundaimental principles.” Other words that could work: adaimant (adamant), Amsterdaim (Amsterdam), Adaim (Adam), madaim (madam) and daimask (damask). Note: damask is a type of silk.
    • *dem* → *daim*: As in, “In daimand” and “The villain’s daimise” and “Sullen daimeanour” and “Let me daimonstrate.” Other words that could work: daimocracy (democracy), daimentia (dementia), daimographic (demographic), tandaim (tandem), diadaim (diadem) and condaimn (condemn).
    • *dim* → *daim*: “A whole new daimension” and “Daiminish your joy” and “Two daimensional” and “A daiminuitive person.” Other words you could try: impedaiment (impediment), rudaimentary (rudimentary), embodaiment (embodiment) and condaiment (condiment).
    • *dom* → *daim*: As in, “Not your daimain” and “Daimestic chores” and “Daiminion is an important documentary” and “Daiminant personalities” and “Falling like daiminoes.” Other words you could use: daiminance (dominance), wisdaim (wisdom), freedaim (freedom), randaim (random), kingdaim (kingdom), seldaim (seldom), boredaim (boredom) and condaim (condom).
  • Dream: Dream is a white chocolate bar manufactured by Cadbury. Here are some silly Dream-related puns you can use (and a recipe for white chocolate you can try):
    • Deem → Dream: As in, “Do you dream it sufficient?” and “Redream yourself.”
    • Team → Dream: As in, “Dream player” and “Take one for the dream” and “Dream spirit” and “Together we make a great dream.”
    • Cream → Dream: As in, “Dream always rises to the top” and “Dream of the crop” and “Dream puff” and “Dreamy, smooth, refreshing” and “Skin like peaches and dream.”
    • Seams → Dream: As in, “Bulging at the dreams” and “Bursting at the dreams” and “Fall apart at the dreams.”
    • Stream → Dream: As in, “Fresh as a mountain dream” and “Fast internet dreaming.”
    • *dem* → *dream*: As in, “List of dreamands” and “Met their dreamise” and “A sullen dreameanour” and “Onset of dreamentia” and “Let me dreamonstrate” and “Know your dreamographic.”
    • *dram* → *dream*: As in, “Being dreamatic” and “Dreamatically announced” and “Filled with melodreama.”
  • Flake: Flakes are a chocolate bar made of thinly folded and layered milk chocolate. We’ve included some related puns here for you:
    • Fake → Flake: As in, “Flake it till you make it” and “Flake friends” and “Flake branded goods.”
    • Fleck → Flake: As in, “A flake of dust” and “Small flakes of gold.”
    • *flec* → *flake*: As in, “Flaked with gold” and “Vocal inflake-tion” and “An honest reflake-tion” and “Deflake-t an argument” and “Reflake-tive of your actions.”
    • *flic* → *flake*: As in, “Global conflake-t” and “Mental afflake-tion” and “Inflake-t pain” and “Feeling conflake-ted.”
  • More → Moro: As in, “Bite off moro than you can chew” and “Come back for moro” and “Dare for moro” and “A few dollars moro” and “Couldn’t agree moro” and “Less is moro” and “One moro thing” and “Moro or less.” Note: A Moro bar is a caramel and nougat layered chocolate bar.
  • Writer → Ritter: As in, “Paperback ritter” and “Ritter’s cramp.” Note: Ritter Sport is a brand of chocolate.
  • S’mores: A s’more is a snack consisting of layers of graham cracker, chocolate and marshmallow and is typically heated slightly until the chocolate and marshmallow are melted slightly before eating. Hershey’s has a s’mores flavoured candy bar, so we’ve got s’more puns here for you to enjoy (and a recipe you might like):
    • More → S’more: As in, “Bite off s’more than you can chew” and “Come back for s’more” and “Dare for s’more” and “One s’more time” and “For a few dollars s’more” and “Couldn’t agree s’more” and “One s’more thing” and “Less is s’more” and “S’more money than sense.”
    • Score → S’more: As in, “Know the s’more” and “S’more a goal” and “A s’more to settle.”
    • Some more → S’more: “Would you like s’more?”
    • Mor* → S’more*: As in, “A s’more-ose expression” and “Paying the s’more-gage” and “Brick and s’moretar store” and “Stop, you s’more-on (moron).” Other words that could work: s’more-al (moral), s’more-phology (morphology), s’more-bid (morbid), s’more-ale (morale), s’more-over (moreover) and s’moreso (moreso).
  • Time → Time out: As in, “One more time out” and “A brief history of time out” and “A good time out was had by all” and “At time outs like this…” Note: a Time Out is a chocolate bar made by Cadbury.
  • Top Deck: Top Decks are a type of chocolate bar made of a milk chocolate base and white chocolate tops. Here are some related puns (and a top deck-related recipe for you to try):
    • Top → Top Deck: As in, “Blow your top deck” and “Come out on top deck” and “Cream always rises to the top deck” and “From top deck to toe” and “Go over the top deck.”
    • Deck → Top Deck: As in, “All hands on top deck” and “Clear the top decks” and “A top deck of cards” and “Hit the top deck.”
  • Smart → Smarties: As in, “Smartie thinking” and “Smartie enough” and “One smartie cookie” and “Quick smartie” and “Smartie arse” and “Street smartie” and “Smartie casual.”

Note: if you’d like further information about the dairy industry or avoiding dairy in your diet and lifestyle, the documentary Dominion is a great place to start. For further information on other animal industries and support in starting your own vegan lifestyle, Earthling Ed’s videos are a great source of information, as are the vegan and animal rights subreddits. Vegan chocolate options are also just a quick google away (and you’ll find lots of “accidentally” vegan chocolate in any grocery store). There are also dairy-free alternatives to some of the most common/popular chocolate bars.

Chocolate-Related Words

To help you come up with your own chocolate puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: chocolate, choc, milk, dark, white, ruby, bar, dairy, candy, sweet, confectionary, family bar, belgium, bite, hot chocolate, chips, block, egg, truffle, couverture, fondue, mousse, syrup, fudge, mint, hazelnut, almond, coffee, orange, strawberry, caramel, peanut butter, nuts, ganache, praline, fruit and nut, rocky road, cocoa, cocoa bean, cocoa butter, cacao, nibs, semisweet, bitter, bittersweet, raw chocolate, compound, modeling, paste, fondant, easter, chocolatier, dipped, melt, valentine, dessert, fair trade, organic, snack, baking, cream, brownie, brown, theobroma, temper, tempering/tempered

names: twix, snickers, mars, bounty, milky way, kitkat, rolo, picnic, toblerone, guylian, lindt, cadbury, ferrero rocher, reese’s, haigh’s, koko black, nestle, crunchie, aero, hershey’s, m&m’s, crunch, malteser, kisses, dove, freddo frog, caramello koala, kinder surprise, almond joy, baby ruth, boost, cherry ripe, chokito, chomp, curly wurly, daim, dream, flake, kinder bueno, lindor, milky bar, moro, ritter, smores, tim tam, time out, top deck, twirl, wonka bar, smarties

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