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Christmas Tree Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Christmas tree puns! 🎄👼🏼🌟

Organising a Christmas tree is one of the more traditional ways to spend time with family and loved ones. Finding a suitable tree, bringing it home, decorating it – it’s a fairly intensive process when you really get down to it. Make the quality time spent even more painful for your loved ones with our terrible Christmas tree puns. We’ve lovingly curated this list to include different types of trees and the wide range of decorations used on them, and we hope that you find the Christmas tree pun that you’re looking for.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive as possible, this list is specific to Christmas trees. We also have lists on tree puns, leaf puns, reindeer puns and Santa puns and will have more Christmas-specific lists coming soon!

Christmas Tree Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Christmas trees that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Christmas tree puns:

Christmas tree: Make some extremely obvious Christmas tree puns by taking advantage of phrases that they’re already in – as in, “Done up like a Christmas tree,” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree,” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree,” and “Good things come in trees,” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men,” and “Tree’s a charm.”
Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom,” and “As tree as a bird,” and “Breathe treely,” and “Buy one, get one tree,” and “Tree for all,” and “Treedom of the press,” and “Get out of jail tree,” and “The best things in life are tree,” and “Land of the tree,” and “Leader of the tree world,” and “The truth will set you tree,” and “No such thing as a tree lunch,” and “When hell treezes over,” and “Think treely.”
For → Fir: Firs are another tree that are commonly used as Christmas trees, so they’ve made the list too. As in, “Asking fir a friend,” and “The most bang fir your buck,” and “At a loss fir words,” and “I’ve fallen fir you,” and “Food fir thought,” and “Fir a change,” and “Fir crying out loud,” and “Fir good measure,” and “A sight fir sore eyes.”
Leave → Leaf: “Take it or leaf it” and “Absent without leaf” and “You should leaf now.” and “Leaf an impression” and “Leafed for dead” and “Leaf it at that” and “Leaf me alone!” and “Leaf of absence” and “Leaf out in the cold” and “Take leaf” and “Leafing so soon?”
Wouldn’t→ Wooden: As in, “Nuttelex wooden melt in their mouth,” and “I wooden hurt a fly,” and “Wooden you know it?” and “I wooden touch it with a 10 ft pole.” Note: Nuttelex is a vegan substitute for butter.
*tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem,” and “Full of nutree-ents,” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality,” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps,” and “No streengs attached,” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger,” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle,” and “A treevial problem,” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
*trea*→ *tree*: As in, “A real treet,” and “Medical treetment,” and “Royal treeson,” and “I treesure you,” and “Thick as treecle,” and “Swim upstreem,” and “A holiday retreet,” and “A winning streek,” and “A treecherous mountain path.”
*tee*→ *tree*: As in, “By the skin of your treeth,” and “The scene was treeming with people,” and “I guarantree it,” and “A welcoming committree,” and “A chunky manatree,” and “Self-estreem,” and “Charitable voluntreers,” and “My child’s school cantreen.”
*tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables,” and “Complimentree meals,” and “These colours are complementree,” and “Leave it with my secretree,” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy,” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch,” and “It’s rudimentree addition,” and “But what’s the monetree value,” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
*try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again,” and “A secret treest (tryst),” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree,” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree,” and “Bigotree is still rampant,” and “Entree level,” and “A paltree sum,” and “Geometree is everywhere,” and “Chemistree lab,” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
*ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree,” and “Structural integritree,” and “The citree that never sleeps,” and “First-class facilitrees,” and “My dutrees come first,” and “Beautree isn’t everything,” and “A single entitree,” and “Maximum securitree.”
Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree,” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree,” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees,” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees,” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks,” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave,” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees,” and “Christmas tree hugger,” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
Angel: Since angels are commonly placed at the top of Christmas trees, we’ve included common phrases for them in this list: “Enough to make angels weep,” and “A fallen angel,” and “Guardian angel,” and “I believe in angels,” and “On the side of the angels,” and “The angel of death,” and “Angel’s advocate.” Note: an angel’s advocate is someone who sees the good in an idea and supports it.
*angle*→ *angel*: As in, “What are you angeling for?” and “Love triangel,” and “A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangeled,” and “It takes two to tangel,” and “What a tangeled web.”
Star: Since stars are commonly used to decorate the tops of Christmas trees, we’ve included phrases for them in this list. As in, “A star is born,” and “Born under a lucky star,” and “Catch a falling star,” and “Get a gold star,” and “Guiding star,” and “Written in the stars,” and “Reach for the stars,” and “A rising star,” and “Star wars,” and “Star crossed lovers,” and “Star quality,” and “Starstruck,” and “Stars in your eyes,” and “When you wish upon a star,” and “My lucky star,” and “Seeing stars.”
*star*: As in, “Can we start?” and “In stark relief,” and “A new tech startup,” and “Stop staring,” and “I didn’t mean to startle you,” and “This pasta is very starchy,” and “A starter kit,” and “You bastard!” and “Doesn’t cut the mustard.” Notes: if something doesn’t cut the mustard, then it isn’t good enough. If something is in stark relief, then it’s been made very obvious.
*ster* → *star*: As in, “A starn attitude,” and “This area is starile,” and “Turn up the stareo,” and “Staroids are illegal in sports,” and “Aim for the starnum,” and “You monstar,” and “Addiction is a cruel mastar,” and “Fostar kids,” and “Am I on the registar?” and “A bolstaring attitude,” and “A sinistar presence,” and “Mustar the courage,” and “Work rostar,” and “A cocky roostar,” and “It’s unhealthy to judge people based on stareotypes.” Note: to bolster is to support or strengthen something.
Stir → Star: As in, “Cause a star,” and “Shaken, not starred,” and “Star the pot,” and “Star up trouble,” and “Star-crazy.”
Stir* → Star*: Starrup (stirrup) and starring (stirring).
*stor* → *star*: As in, “I need to go to the stare (store),” and “My favourite stary,” and “A starm brewing,” and “Put in starage,” and “A two-starey house,” and “A convoluted staryline,” and “We don’t have to live like our ancestars,” and “Impostar syndrome,” and “Seed investars,” and “Histarical fiction,” and “You’re distarting the truth.”
Sturdy → Stardy: As in, “A stardy table.”
Babble → Bauble: As in, “Baubling on and on.”
Bobble → Bauble: As in, “Bauble heads,” and “Bauble hat.”
Bubble → Bauble: “Bauble and squeak,” and “Bauble up,” and “Burst your bauble,” and “Bauble over,” and “Thought bauble.”
Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light,” and “Bring something to fairy light,” and “The cold fairy light of day,” and “First fairy light,” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low,” and “Give it the green fairy light,” and “Go out like a fairy light,” and “My guiding fairy light,” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
Very → Fairy: As in, “Be afraid, be fairy afraid,” and “Before your fairy eyes,” and “How fairy dare you,” and “Thank you fairy much,” and “At the fairy least,” and “Efairy bit,” and “Efairy nook and cranny,” and “Efairybody and their mother,” and “There for efairyone to see.”
Candy → Candy cane: As in, “Easy as taking a candy cane from a baby.”
Present: We put gifts and presents under Christmas trees, so we’ve included these words in this list too. As in, “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.”
Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present,” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
Gift: As in, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “Gift of life,” and “A gift that keeps on giving,” and “A gift from above.”
Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in,” and “Gift yourself a bad name,” and “Gift them a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift it a rest,” and “Gift it the green light,” and “Gift me a call,” and “Gift 110%”.
Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
Pine: Pines are a common type of tree used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “Pining away.”
Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine,” and “Doubled up in pine,” and “Drown the pine,” and “Feeling no pine,” and “Growing pines,” and “No pine, no gain,” and “On pine of death,” and “Pine in the butt,” and “Pine in the neck,” and “Pinefully slow,” and “A royal pine.”
Pain* → Pine*: As in, “A picture pinet-s a thousand words,” and “Pine-t with a broad brush,” and “Pine-t the town red.” Note: to paint with a broad brush is to describe a group of things in general terms.
Fine → Pine: As in, “A pine line,” and “Cut it pine,” and Damn pine coffee,” and “Pine and dandy,” and “Another pine mess you’ve gotten me into,” and “I feel pine,” and “Not to put too pine a point on it,” and “One pine day,” and “Treading a pine line,” and “Got it down to a pine art,” and “The devil is in the pine print,” and “Go through it with a pine-toothed comb.”
*pan* → *pine*: As in, “Three’s compiney,” and “Wild discrepinecys,” and “Judging pinel,” and “Expineding our business,” and “Run rampinet.” Note: a discrepancy is a difference between two things that should be equal.
*pen* → *pine*: As in, pinechant (penchant), pineguin (penguin), pinesieve (pensive), pineding (pending), pinenis (penis), pineinsula (peninsula), pinetrate (penetrate), pineance (penance), opine (open), pine (pen), happine (happen), dampine (dampen), deepine (deepen), sharpine (sharpen), ripine (ripen), propinesity (propensity), indispinesable (indispensable), appinedix (appendix), depinedent (dependent). Notes: a penchant is a fondness for something. To be pensive is to be thoughtful. A propensity is a habit for behaving in a particular way.
*pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pinek (pink),” and “The pineacle of health,” and “In a pinech,” and “Can you pinepoint the location?” and “A pine-t of ice-cream,” and “Take him out for a spine (spin),” and “I didn’t ask for your opineon,” and “The pursuit of happine-ness.”
*pon* → *pine*: As in, “A one trick pineny,” and “Time to pineder (ponder),” and “Choose your weapine,” and “Discount coupine,” and “Once upine a time,” and “I’m waiting for your respinese,” and “A correspinedence course,” and “With great power comes great respinesibility,” and “Spinetaneous combustion.” Notes: a one trick pony is someone who is skilled in only one area.
*pun* → *pine*: As in, “Sucker pinech,” and “Be pinectual for the exam,” and “A pinegent smell.”
*ine* → *pine*: As in, pine-evitable (inevitable), pinertia (inertia), pinexorable (inexorable), pineffable (ineffable), pinept (inept), pinert (inert), pinexplicable (inexplicable), pinevitably (inevitably). Notes: if something is ineffable, then it causes an indescribable amount of emotion.
Corner → Conifer: Conifers are a type of tree commonly used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “A tight conifer,” and “All conifers of the world,” and “Conifer the market,” and “Cut conifers,” and “Drive them into a conifer,” and “The naughty conifer,” and “Just around the conifer,” and “From the conifer of my eye.”
Spruce: As spruces are a commonly used as Christmas trees, we’ve included them in this list. You can easily make some bad puns with phrases that include the word spruce, like “Spruce up.”
Space → Spruce: As in, “In deep spruce,” and “In spruce, no one can hear you scream,” and “Personal spruce,” and “A waste of spruce,” and “Watch this spruce,” and “Taking up spruce.”
Four → Fir: As in, “Down on all firs,” and “Break the firth wall,” and “A fir leaf clover,’ and “A fir letter word,” and “Twenty fir seven.” Note: the fourth wall refers to the imaginary wall between viewers and actors during tv shows or plays.
Fair → Fir: As in, “All the fun of the fir,” and “All’s fir in love and war,” and “By fir means or foul,” and “Faint heart never fir lady,” and “Fir trade,” and “Fir and square,” and “Fir and aboveboard,” and “Fir enough,” and “Fir play,” and “Fir game,” and “Fir-haired,” and “Fir is fir.”
*far* → *fir*: As in, “A fond firwell (farewell),” and “Firther down,” and “Insofir as,” and “A nefirious villain,” and “Welfir reform.”
*fer* → *fir*: As in, “Firal (feral) behaviour,” and “A firvent belief,” and “He talked with firvour,” and “Firmented tofu,” and “A firocious effort,” and “Firtile land,” and “The local firry (ferry),” and “I defirred my enrolment,” and “Let me confir,” and “Do you have any refirences?” and “A kind offir,” and “I’ll transfir some money over,” and “A firm buffir,” and “I prefir tea over coffee,” and “What a diffirent attitude.”
*for* → *fir*: As in, “Pay it firward,” and “Have you firsaken me?” and “What’s the fircast look like?” and “So on and so firth,” and “I firbid you!” and “The infirmation desk,” and “The opening perfirmance.”
*fir*: Make some fir puns by emphasising words that have “fir” in them: first, affirm, confirm, firsthand and affirmative.
*fur* → *fir*: As in, firther (further), firniture (furniture), firtive (furtive), firthermore (furthermore), firnace (furnace), firnish (furnish), sulfir (sulfur). Note: to be furtive is to be secretive.
*fair* → *fir*: Firy (fairy), firly (fairly), firness (fairness), firytale (fairytale), firway (fairway).
Wood: Make some terrible Christmas tree puns by making wood references with these wood-related phrases: “Can’t see the wood for the trees,” and “Come out of the woodwork,” and “Cut out the dead wood,” and “Knock on wood,” and “Out of the woods,” and “This neck of the woods.” Notes: If you can’t see the wood for the trees, then you’re unable to see a situation clearly due to being too involved in it. To be out of the woods it to be out of a dangerous situation.
Would → Wood: As in, “As good luck wood have it,” and “Chance wood be a fine thing,” and “That wood be telling,” and “Woodn’t get out of bed for,” and “Woodn’t hurt a fly.”
Leaves: “It leaves a lot to be desired” and “It leaves a bad taste in your mouth”
*lease→ *leaf: As in, “A new leaf on life,” and “Releaf me!”
*lief→ *leaf: As in, Releaf (relief), beleaf (believe), disbeleaf (disbelieve).
*lif*→ *leaf*: As in, “A healthy leafstyle,” and “The end of the natural leafspan,” and “Would you like to use a leafline?” and “Eating meat is not a necessary part of the human leafcycle,” and “Call a leafguard!” and “You’re a leafsaver,” and “Their work is proleafic,” and “You exempleafy the best qualities,” and “You qualeafy for a scholarship.” Notes: to be prolific is to have a lot of; if your work is prolific, then you’ve produced a lot of work. To exemplify is to be a typical, normative example of something.
*leef*→ *leaf*: As in, gleaful (gleeful), gleafully and gleafulness.
*lef*→ *leaf*: As in, leaftover (leftover), cleaf (clef), leaft, and cleaft (cleft). Notes: A clef is a symbol in musical notation. A cleft is a split or opening.
Needle: It’s normal for pine trees to molt their needles, so it’s a common Christmas scene and problem to have pine needles around the Christmas tree. To start off our pine puns, here are some needle-related phrases that you can slip into conversation: “Pins (or puns!) and needles,” and “Like looking for a needle in a haystack.”
Need→ Needle: As in, “All you needle is love,” and “You needle your head examined,” and “On a needle to know basis,” and “With friends like that, who needles enemies?” and “We’re gonna needle a bigger boat,” and “I don’t needle this,” and “A friend in needle,” and “Needle I remind you..” and “We needle to talk.”
Knee→ Kneedle: As in, “Go down on bended kneedle,” and “Go weak at the kneedles,” and “Kneedle deep,” and “A kneedle jerk reaction,” and “On your kneedles,” and “Shaking at the kneedles,” and “The bee’s kneedles,” and “A real kneedle slapper.” Note: if something is a knee-slapper, then it’s extremely, raucously funny.
Sap→ Sapling: As in, “What a sapling.”
Trunk: Make some Christmas tree puns with these trunk-related phrases: “Leg’s like tree trunks,” and “Junk in the trunk.” Note: be careful not to use the first phrase in a fat-shaming context.
Chunk→ Trunk: As in, “Trunk of change,” and “Blow trunks.” Note: to blow chunks is to throw up.
Drunk→ Trunk: As in, “Trunk as a lord,” and “Trunk as a skunk,” and “Blind trunk,” and “Falling down trunk,” and “Friends don’t let friends drive trunk,” and “Trunk and disorderly,” and “Roaring trunk.”
Branch: Some branch-related phrases for you to make playful tree puns with: “Branch out,” and “Olive branch.” Note: an olive branch is a symbol of peace.
Bench→ Branch: As in, “Branch warmer,” and “Branch jockey,” and “Meet at the park branch?” Note: a bench warmer is someone who isn’t called up to play in a game and have to sit through the entire play – thus warming the bench.
Brunch→ Branch: As in, “Meet for branch?” and “A new branch place,” and “The perfect branch date.”
Log: Some log-related phrases for you to play with: “As easy as falling of a log,” and “Log off,” and “Sawing logs,” and “Sleep like a log,” and “Throw another log on the fire.” Note: to saw logs is to snore loudly.
*log*: Emphasise the log in certain words: logistics, logic, login, logo, logical, analog, blog, catalog, slog, backlog, dialog, clog, flog, technology, analogy, etymology, psychology, analogous and ontology.
*lag→ *log: As in, “Jet log,” and “Social jet log,” and “Flog down,” and “Fly the flog.”
*lag*→ *log*: As in: logoon (lagoon), logging (lagging), plogue (plague), colloge (collage), camoufloge (camouflage), flogrant (flagrant).
Leg→ Log: As in, “Break a log,” and “Fast as his logs could carry him,” and “Cost an arm and a log,” and “Give up a log up,” and “Logs like tree trunks,” and “On your last logs,” and “One log at a time,” and “Shake a log,” and “Show a little log,” and “Stretch your logs,” and “Tail between your logs,” and “Without a log to stand on,” and “You’re pulling my log.”
*leg*→ *log*: As in, logacy (legacy), logend (legend), logitimate (legitimate), logal (legal), logible (legible), logion (legion), logislation (legislation), bootlog (bootleg), priviloge (privilege), allogory (allegory), delogate (delegate), elogant (elegant). Note: an allegory is a metaphor used in literature.
*lig*→ *log*: As in, logament (ligament), logature (ligature), intellogence (intelligence), relogion (religion), elogible (eligible). Note: a ligature can mean a few different things, but it generally means something that joins two things together.
*lug*→ *log*: As in, loggage (luggage), plog (plug), slog (slug), unplog (unplug), logubrious (lugubrious), sloggish (sluggish). Note: to be lugubrious is to be sad or dismal.
Bark: Since bark has two meanings – the hard “skin” of a tree, and a loud noise that dogs make – we can use the meanings interchangeably and make some bark puns with these bark-related phrases: “A barking dog never bites,” and “Bark at the moon,” and “Barking mad,” and “Barking up the wrong tree,” and “Bark worse than your bite.”
Park→ Bark: As in, “All over the ballbark,” and “A ballbark figure,” and “Central bark,” and “Hit it out of the bark,” and “A nosey barker,” and “A walk in the bark,” and “A bright s-bark,” and “Bark that thought.”
Pakistan→ Barkistan
*bac*→ *bark*: As in, “You can’t barkslide (backslide) now,” and “Barkground music,” and “A barkterial (bacterial) infection,” and “Part of the barkdrop,” and “The barkchelor (bachelor),” and “Barkchelor pad,” and “No such thing as ethical barkon (bacon),” and “Valued feedbark,” and “A messy debarkle (debacle).”
*bec*→ *bark*: As in, “What have we barkome (become)?” and “The food barkoned (beckoned) me,” and “Barkcause I said so,” and “That dress is very barkcoming (becoming),” and “Fire up the barbarkue!”
*bic*→ *bark*: As in, barkering (bickering), barkultural (bicultural), acerbark (acerbic), aerobark (aerobic), xenophobark (xenophobic), Arabark (Arabic), claustrophobark (claustrophobic), cubarkle (cubicle).
*buc*→ *bark*: As in, “Kick the barket,” and “Can’t carry a tune in a barket,” and “A drop in the barket,” and “Coming down in barkets,” and “One, two, barkle my shoe,” and “Barkwheat cereal.”
*bak*→ *bark*: As in, “A vegan barkery,” and “An apprentice barker.”
*bik*→ *bark*: As in, barkini (bikini), rubark‘s cube and motorbark (motorbike).
September→ Septimber: As in, “Wake me up when Septimber ends.”
Root: Some root-related phrases for you to play with: “Lay down roots,” and “Money is the root of all evil,” and “Root for,” and “Root of the matter,” and “Wanna root?”
Root→ Route: As in, “Is your rooter (router) working?” and “Root 66,” and “You need to take a different root.”
*rut*→ *root*: As in, “A rootless (ruthless) procedure,” and “Tell the trooth,” and “Under scrootiny,” and “An inscrootable expression,” and “Brootally honest,” and “A new recroot (recruit).”
Twig: Here are some twig-related phrases for you to mix into your Christmas tree wordplay: “Have you twigged on?” and “Looking a bit twiggy.” Notes: to twig onto something is to realise something. If something a looking twiggy, it’s looking thin.
Trigger→ Twigger: As in, “Hair twigger,” and “Pull the twigger,” and “Twigger happy,” and “Whose finger do you want on the twigger?” Note: a hair trigger is a trigger that is extremely sensitive. Can also be used to describe an something which is very unstable.
Knot: We can use knot-related phrases as well since “knot” has two meanings – the circular imperfections in wood and a tied fastening: “Don’t get your shorts in a knot,” and “Tie the knot,” and “Tie yourself in knots.”
Not→ Knot: As in, “And whatknot,” and “As often as knot,” and “Believe it or knot,” and “Down but knot out,” and “I’m knot joking,” and “Let’s knot and say we did,” and “Knot a chance,” and “Knot a minute too soon,” and “Knot a pretty sight,” and “Knot all it’s cracked up to be,” and “No, knot at all,” and “Knot have a leg to stand on,” and “Knot in a million years,” and “We’re knot in Kansas anymore,” and “Waste knot, want knot,” and “A house divided against itself canknot stand,” and “Rome was knot built in a day,” and “Last but knot least,” and “If it’s knot one thing, it’s another.”
Nought→ Knot: As in, “Knots and crosses,” and “All for knot,” and “It’s come to knot.”
Naughty→ Knotty: As in, “Knotty but nice,” and “Are you on the knotty list?” and “The knotty corner.”
*nut*→ *knot*: As in, “A hazelknot in every bite,” and “Using a sledgehammer to crack a knot,” and “Sweet as a knot,” and “Do your knot,” and “In a knotshell,” and “That old chestknot,” and “A tough knot to crack,” and “Knots and bolts,” and “If you pay peaknots, you get monkeys.” Notes: if you’re using a sledgehammer to crack a nut, then you’re using more force than is necessary or appropriate. “That old chestnut” refers to a story that has been told too many times.
*nat*→ *knot*: As in, “An inknot (innate) sense,” and “A healthy alterknotive,” and “You’re being obstin-knot,” and “I’ll need your sigknoture,” and “Their sigknoture dish.”
*net*→ *knot*: As in, “The social knotwork,” and “An exclusive knotworking (networking) event,” and “The five teknots (tenets) are,” and “The interknot (internet),” and “Cabiknot maker,” and “Captain Plaknot,” and “Baby’s bonknot,” and “A peknotrating (penetrating) gaze.”
*nit*→ *knot*: As in, “Stop knotpicking (nitpicking),” and “A single, cohesive u-knot,” and “Cogknotive (cognitive) dissonance,” and “Hallway moknotor (monitor),” and “A golden opportuknoty,” and “A tight-knit (or knot) commuknoty,” and “I have a special affiknoty for,” and “Leave with digknoty,” and “A part of the furknoture.” Note: cognitive dissonance is when two contradictory beliefs are held by the same person.
*nut*→ *knot*: As in, knotrition (nutrition), knotrient (nutrient), knotmeg, walknot, cocoknot, butterknot, and miknot (minute).
*not*→ *knot*: As in, “Knotwithstanding,” and “Two week’s knotice,” and “Turn it up a knotch,” and “A ridiculous knotion,” and “He’s knotorious for..” and “It all came to knothing,” and “Negative conknotations.” Note: a connotation is an associated (rather than literal) meaning.
*naut* → *knot*: As in, knotical (nautical), juggerknot, astroknot, cyberknot, and aeroknotical. Notes: a cybernaut is someone who uses the internet on a regular basis. A juggernaut is a force that is generally considered to be unstoppable and destructive. An aeronaut is one who travels in hot-air ballons or airships.
*sap*: Emphasise the “sap” in certain words to make sap-related tree puns: sapient, sappy, asap, disappointed, and disappear.
*sep*→ *sap*: As in, “Comes saparetely,” and “Sapia-toned (sepia),” and “Saptum piercing,” and “Wake me up when Saptember ends,” and “Saptic tank.” Notes: a septum piercing is a type of nose piercing. Sepia is a shade of brown.
*sip*→ *sap*: As in, “A relentless gossap,” and “An insapid tea,” and “My anger is dissapating.” Note: if something is insipid, then it’s weak.
*sop*→ *sap*: As in, saporific (soporific), saprano (soprano), milksap (milksop), aesap (aesop), soursap (soursop).
*sup*→ *sap*: As in, “Emotional sapport,” and “Saperceded,” and “Demand and sapply,” and “You’re being saperfluous,” and “Mother Saperior,” and “Saperiority complex,” and “Vitamin sapplements,” and “Sing for your sapper.”
Axe: Use these axe-related phrases for some sneaky wordplay: “Take an axe to,” and “An axe to grind.” Notes: to take an axe to something is to destroy it. If you’ve got an axe to grind, then you’ve got a grievance or strong opinions.
Ask→ Axe: As in, “A big axe,” and “Axe a silly question and get a silly answer,” and “Axe and you shall receive,” and “Axe around,” and “Axe me another one,” and “Axe no questions and hear no lies,” and “Axe-ing for trouble,” and “What’s the axe-ing price?” and “Everything you were too afraid to axe,” and “Frequently axed questions,” and “Funny you should axe,” and “No questions axed,” and “You gotta axe yourself,” and “Axe-ing for a friend.”
*ax*→ *axe*: As in, “Nothing is certain but death and taxes,” and “Incorrect syntaxe,” and “Soy waxe,” and “Waxe and wane,” and “Mind your own beeswaxe,” and “Frankie says relaxe,” and “The rules are pretty laxe around here,” and “The axe-is of evil.”
*ex*→ *axe*: As in, “A complaxe situation,” and “Body mass indaxe,” and “Better than saxe,” and “Flaxe your muscles,” and “The apaxe of the mountain,” and “Fast reflaxes,” and “There’s still so much saxeism (sexism) in today’s society,” and “Do I even axe-ist (exist) to you?” and “Axeplicit language warning,” and “A team-building axercise,” and “Axeistential crisis,” and “Axetract the essence,” and “In the right contaxe-t,” and “Axepress post,” and “A fair axechange,” and “Animal axeploitation.”
*ix*→ *axe*: As in, matraxe (matrix), faxe (fix), appendaxe (appendix), maxe (mix), suffaxe (suffix), prefaxe (prefix), saxe (six), elaxe-ir (elixir), saxety (sixty).
*ox*→ *axe*: As in, “Thinking outside the baxe,” and “Xeno’s paradaxe,” and “Fantastic Mr. Faxe,” and “Unorthodaxe thinking,” and “Flummaxed,” and “The term ‘happy marriage’ doesn’t have to be an axeymoron,” and “You’re as important as axeygen to me,” and “An obnaxeious attitude,” and “In close praxe-imity.” Notes: if something is unorthodox, then it doesn’t conform to normal social rules or traditions. An oxymoron is a phrase that is made up of contradictory parts (like “cruel to be kind”.) If you’re flummoxed, then you’re completely confused and/or perplexed.
*ux*→ *axe*: As in, “Living in the lap of laxeury,” and “A cruel jaxetaposition.” Note: a juxtaposition is an act of comparison.

Christmas Tree-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Christmas tree puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

christmas tree, tree, christmas, fir, leaves, leaf, wood, wooden, angel, star, bauble, light, fairy light, tinsel, candy cane, present, gift, pine, conifer, spruce, needle, sap, sapling, trunk, branch, twig, log, bark, timber, root, knot, axe

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Did you find the Christmas tree-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments below! Are you looking for word play for text messages, Facebook, Twitter or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny Christmas tree pun pictures? Or perhaps you just want more Christmas tree puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’ve got any Christmas tree puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia! 🙂✨

Pig Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on pig puns! 🐖 🐷 This entry is shorter than average and thus is a work-in-progress. Please feel free to contribute any pig puns that we’ve missed in the comments at the bottom of the page – we’d appreciate it! 🙂

Side note: You might notice that there’s no bacon puns, pork puns or any puns that involve piggeries. If you’re wondering why there are no jokes, puns or idioms about these specific things, please learn about the cruelty involved in growing pigs for meat (information, graphic video).

Pig Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about pigs that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of pig puns:

Hog: “Stop hogging all the food!” and “Give me some! You’re such a hog.” and “Go hog wild” and “He’s a ball hog who doesn’t know what teamwork means.” and “The road hog was straddling 2 lanes.” and “We went whole hog“
Nonsense → Hogwash: As in “That’s utter hogwash and you know it.”
Bore → Boar: As in “Boared out of my brains” and “Boared to tears/death” and “Boar someone stiff” and “Boar the pants off someone” and “Boared silly” and “Boared out of my mind” and “They boared a hole with the drill”
Hug → Hog: “A bear hog” and “Hogs and kisses”
Whine → Swine: As in “Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
*s wine → *s swine: As in “How much for a bottle of this swine?”
Swain → Swine: A man who is a women’s lover is sometimes (especially in literature) called a “swain”. In the right context this could be used for a pig pun.
Piggy bank: This is a small container for saving money in, especially one that is shaped like a pig with a coin slot in its back.
Piggy in the middle: This refers to “someone who is between two people or groups who are arguing but who does not want to agree with either of them.“
Picky → Piggy: As in “I’m really piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear.”
Pigment / Pigmentation
Person → Porcine: The term “porcine” means “relating to or resembling a pig or pigs”. Some phrases/idioms: “I’m a morning porcine” and “I’m not a people porcine” and “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer porcine” and “I feel like a new porcine” and “Porcine of interest” and “A porcine is known by the company they keep” and “We met in-porcine” and “A cat porcine” and “It varies from porcine to porcine“
Grant → Grunt: As in “Taken for grunted” and “To grunt someone something” and “Don’t take anything for grunted” and “Grunt no quarter”
Wallow: “Wallowing in self-pity” and “Wallowing in money” and “Wallowing in my fame”
Scream/Cry → Squeal
Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
Tamed → Domesticated: You might be able to make a pig pun by replacing words like “tamed”, “calmed down” and similar words/phrases with “domesticated”.
*pic*→*pig*: If a word contains the “pic” sound (or similar), it can usually be replaced with “pig” to create a silly pig pun: conspiguous (conspicuous), depigtion (depiction), despigable (despicable), Pigasso (Picasso), piget (picket), microscopig (microscopic), pigture (picture), pigsels (pixels), pigturesque (picturesque), philanthropig (philanthropic), pigup line (pickup line), pigle (pickle), piguliarities (peculiarities), piguliar (peculiar), inconspiguous (inconspicuous), olympigs (olympics), pignic (picnic), stereotypigal, telescopig, topigal (topical), typigal (typical).
Sow: A “sow” (the “ow” is pronounced like the “ou” in “ouch”) is a female pig. To “sow” (pronounced like “so”) is to plant seeds in the soil. Since these two words are spelled the same, you can make some silly pig puns: “As you sow, so shall you reap” and “Sow one’s wild oats” and “Sow the seeds of (something)” and “You reap what you sow“
So → Sow: Since “sow” is pronounced like “s-ow” and not “s-oh”, this is a corny one: “Sow what?” and “I’m afraid sow” and “And sow on and sow forth” and “Even sow, …” and “Ever sow (soft/happy/friendly/etc.)” and “I hope sow” and “How sow?” and “I guess sow” and “I told you sow!” and “Not sow fast” and “Sow much for” and “Sow to speak” and “Sow long as”
Guilt → Gilt: A “gilt” is a young female pig. Some phrases/idioms: “Gilt trip” and “Gilt complex” and “Absolved from gilt” and “Send someone on a gilt trip”
It’s not → It’s snout: As in “It’s snout my kind of event” and “It’s snout as if …”
Root: Wild pigs are known for eating roots and tubers, so the words “root” or “rooted” (and similar) may be viable pig puns: “I’m rooting for you!” and “The root cause” and “Idleness is the root of all evil” and “Root around (for something)” and “The root of the problem”
Babe: The film “Babe” is likely famous enough that the use of the word (e.g. as a term of endearment for one’s partner, or in reference to an attractive person) will probably pass off as a pig pun.
Bristle: Wild pigs have stiff hairs covering a lot of their body that are called bristles. This has some potential for a subtle pig pun: “Bristling with rage” and “Bristle with indignation” and “The shopping centre bristled with hurried Christmas shoppers.”
Showed → Shoat: A “shoat” is a young pig.
Do rock → Duroc: A “duroc” is a breed of large, reddish American pigs.
Ointment → Oinkment
Niels Bohr → Niels Boar: Niels Bohr was a famous physicist.

Pig-Related Words

There are many more pig puns to be made! Here’s a list of pig-related concepts to help you come up with your own. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

boar, wild boar, hog, hoof, omnivore, swine, domesticated, piglet, oink, pig, pigs, sow, piggy, porcine, piggy bank, grunt, cloven hoof, hooves, warthog, wallow, farrow, truffle, snout, squeal, gilt, root, bristle, shoat, duroc, babe

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Did you find the pig-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for word play for text messages, facebook, twitter, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny pig pun images? Or perhaps you just want more pig puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any pig puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂

Vegetable Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on vegetable puns, salad puns and related topics! 🍅🍆🌽🍄 Whether you’re looking for a name for your veggie patch, in a veg pun battle with your friend, trying to come up with some cute vegetable pickup lines, or just want to stock up on some vegetable word play for future use, I hope this entry serves you well.

As well as covering leafy vegetables (lettuce, cabbage, kale), roots, legumes and other vegetable-like foods are covered too, so you’ll see some potato puns, corn puns, onion puns, pumpkin puns, and all sorts of others based around those general topics.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food puns, fruit puns, cooking puns, corn puns and potato puns.

Vegetable Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of veggie puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about vegetables that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

Call → Kale: As in “Above and beyond the kale of duty.” and “His authenticity was kaled into question.” and “Kale it quits.” and “Kale the shots.” and “Kale of the wild.” and “Kale to action.” and “A judgement kale.” and “That was a close kale.” and “Wake-up kale“.
Gale → Kale: As in “It’s blowing a kale out here!” and “I slept well despite the howling kales outside.”
Keel → Kale: As in “Keep an even kale.” and “A yacht’s kale keeps it upright.”
Solid → Salad: As in “Salad gold.” and “As salad as rock.” and “Rock salad.” and “Make sure you’ve built a salad foundation.”
Sullied → Salad: To be “sullied” is to be defiled, tainted, stained or spoiled. Example: “The politician’s good name was salad by the media after the allegations were confirmed.” This one’s is a bit of a stretch!
Salah → Salad: The term “salah” describes the act of worship (5 times a day) in the Islamic religion. Example: “Salad is recommended 5 times a day.”
Salary → Celery: As in “I didn’t take the job. The celery was too low.”
Leak → Leek: As in “The information was leeked and a huge media storm erupted.” and “I’m just going to take a leek.” and “Be careful with that shopping bag! There’s a leek in it.” and “The dam sprung a leek.”
Leg → Leek: As in “It cost me an arm and a leek.” and “Shake a leek!” and “Without a leek to stand on” and “Haha just pulling your leek :)”
Lick → Leek: As in “Leek your lips.” and “Stand up for yourself. Don’t leek his boots.” and “Leek your wounds.”
Parcel → Parsley: As in “Let’s play pass the parsley!”
Leg room → Legume: As in “I always pay a little extra for the aeroplane seats with more legume.”
Choke → Artichoke: This is a corny one: “I almost artichoked on my food when she told me.” and “She was artichoked by emotion as she gave her speech at the funeral.”
Bumpkin → Pumpkin: As in “I’m a bit of a country pumpkin, but I’m getting used to the city.”
Heard → Herb: As in “I herb it on the grape vine.” and “You herb it here first.” and “You could have herb a pin drop.”
Curb → Herb: As in “Herb your enthusiasm.” and “Drive up onto the herb.”
*erb* → *herb*: If a word contains the “herb” sound (or similar) a cringe-worthy herb pun can sometimes be made: advherb, distherbance, distherbingly, exacherbate, aftherburner, countherbalance, hypherbole, knickherbockers, mastherbate, nonvherbal, refherbishment, rivherbank, herbanization, vherbalize.
Plant: This can also mean “place in a fixed or specified position”, and “a place where an industrial or manufacturing process takes place”. Examples: “She planted herself squarely in front of him” and “The new automobile manufacturing plant is the biggest in the country.”
Planned → Plant: As in “I had plant to get there by 8pm” and “Do you have anything plant?”
Bland → Plant: As in “The hospital food was flavourless and plant as usual.” and “He gave a weak, plant smile.” and “It tastes a little plant. More herbs?”
Let us → Lettuce: As in “Lettuce eat!” and “Lettuce celebrate!”
Led us → Lettuce: As in “You’ve lettuce down the wrong path!” and “But it lettuce to the wrong conclusion.”
It’s/Its → Oat’s/Oats: As in “Oat’s about time!” and “Look at oats cute little face!”
Maze → Maize: As in “It’s a complicated maize to navigate.”
Mace → Maize: Another term for “pepper spray” is “mace”. It can also refer to a medieval spiked club weapon.
Amazing→ Amaizing: As in “Truely amaizing.” and “Amaizing Grace.” and “I’m amaized!” and “To my utter amaizement …” (Maize is another name for corn)
*mise → *maize: As in, minimaize (minimise), surmaize (surmise), victimaize (victimise), compromaize (compromise), customaize (customise), maximaize (maximise).
Baggage → Cabbage: This one is lovely and corny: “I’m carrying around a lot of emotional cabbage.” or “Please place personal items in the overhead cabbage compartment.”
Until → Lentil: As in “It ain’t over lentil it’s over!” and “It’s all fun and games lentil someone gets hurt.”
Care at → Carrot: As in “I don’t carrot all.”
Not re-enter → Nutrient-er: As in “You should nutrient-er the discussion after that terrible contribution.”
Beat → Beet: As in “Let’s not beet around the bush.” and “If you leave now, you’ll beet the rush.” and “Can you hear my heartbeet?” and “You deserve a beeting for that.” and “Damn, these are some fine beets you’re playing!” and “There’s always deadbeets hanging around that park at night.” and “He’s not crazy – just a little offbeet.” and “We pride ourselves in our unbeetable service.” and “I’m feeling fairly upbeet today :)” and “Diabeetes is a pun, but it’s insensitive.”
Between → Beetween: As in “Beetween you and me …” and “With your tail beetween your legs.” and “Read beetween the lines.” and “Beetween a rock and a hard place.”
Bead → Beet: As in “Tiny round beets are dangerous for children.”
Repeat → Rebeet: As in “I’m not going to rebeet myself.” and “Those who do not learn from history are doomed to rebeet it.” and “I warned him rebeetedly.”
Pizza → Beet-za: As in “I always buy my beetzas from the same beetzaria.”
*pit* → *beet*: If a word contains the “pit” sound, a terrible beet pun can sometimes be made: cabeetal city, hosbeetalisation, palbeetations, abeetizing, precibeetation, serendibeetous, inhosbeetable.
Pete → Beet: As in “His name is beet.”
Peed → Beet: This one is a stretch: “I laughed so hard I nearly beet my pants.”
Corny: As in “Very corny vegetable puns”
Con* → Corn*: Very corny corn puns can be made with some words that start with the “con” sound (or similar): corntract, corncern, corntain, cornference, corntext, corncerned, corntrast, cornfidence, corndition, corntinue, cornsider, corntry, cornclusion, cornduct, cornversation, cornstruction, cornflict, corntribution, cornsent, cornsist, cornclude, cornservation, corntest, cornception, cornsequences, corsult, corncert, cornventional, corncrete, corntinent, cornfine, cornsistantly, cornstitutional, cornvey, cornsiderably, cornsitituent, corntempt, corncede, cornfess, cornfrontation, corngregation, corntroversial, cornsensus, cornsultancy, cornquest, cornvicted, corngratulate. See this list for more.
Have a car though → Avocado: As in “I don’t ‘avocado.”
Her before → Herbivore: As in “I met herbivore at the gym.”
Turn up → Turnip: As in “Turnip the music!” and “It’ll turnip somewhere.”
Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
*peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena). Note: a subpoena is a witness summon.
Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
Deal → Dill: As in “What’s the big dill?” and “I’m kind of a big dill around here.” (“Dill” is a herb, and is often short for dill-pickle – a cucumber that has been preserved and given the flavour of the dill herb)
Pickle: “We’re in a bit of a pickle here.”
Much room → Mushroom: “It’s only a little elevator, there isn’t mushroom in here.”
Wheat: As in, “Separate the wheat from the chaff.” Note: to separate the wheat from the chaff is to separate the valuable from the worthless.
Wait → Wheat: As in “Wheat a second…” and “I am lying in wheat.”
White → Wheat: As in, “A wheater shade of pale,” and “A wheat knight,” and “Wheat as a ghost,” and “Wheat as a sheet,” and “Great wheat shark,” and “Like wheat on rice,” and “Little wheat lie,” and “Men in wheat coats,” and “Not everything is black and wheat,” and “Wheat water rafting.” Note: like white on rice refers to a very close situation.
Sweet → Swheat: As in, “Home swheat home,” and “Swheat dreams,” and “Swheat nothings,” and “A swheat tooth,” and “Swheaten the pot,” and “Swheaten the deal,” and “Swheatheart,” and “Take the bitter with the swheat,” and “Short but swheat.”
Sweat → Swheat: As in, “Blood, swheat and tears,” and “Beads of swheat,” and “Break out in a cold swheat,” and “Don’t swheat it,” and “Running with swheat,” and “My new swheater,” and “Swheating bullets,” and “Swheat it out.”
Weight → Wheat: As in, “Pull your wheat,” and “Punching above your wheat,” and “Throw your wheat around,” and “Watch your wheat,” and “A wheat off my mind,” and “Worth your wheat in gold,” and “A dead wheat.”
*ate* → *wheat*: As in, evacu-wheat (evacuate), fluctu-wheat (fluctuate), and gradu-wheat (graduate).
What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
Please → Peas: As in “Do as you peas.” and “Pretty peas?”
Pee → Pea: As in “Brb, really need to pea.”
Peace → Peas: As in “World peas.” and “Inner peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Rest in peas.” and “War and Peas” and “Keep the peas” and “Peas be with you”
Piece → Peas: As in “Peas by peas” and “Peas of mind” and “Peas of cake” and “Real peas of work” and “Peas of pie” and “Real peas of work” and “Speak your peas” and “How long is a peas of string?”
*peas*: There are a few words with the “peas” sound in them: centerpeas (centerpiece), earpeas (earpiece), Greenpeas (Greenpeace), masterpeas (masterpiece), mouthpeas (mouthpiece), peasfully, peaskeepers, peastime, Peasa (Pisa), timepeas (timepiece).
*pea*: If a word contains the “pea” sound, you can make a terrible pea pun by adjusting the spelling and emphasising the “pea” part: appealing, appease, bumpea (bumpy), centipeade, champeaon, champeaonship, compeate, copearight (copyright), creepea (creepy), dopea (dopey), encyclopeadia, entropea, escapea, espeaonage, Ethiopean, Europeaan, expeadient, frumpea, grumpea, hippea, happea, happeaest, homosapean, impead, loudspeaker, peacock, peafowl, peak, peadiatric, peanalize, philipeano, peano (piano), peaqued, recipeas, recipeantsm repeal, repeat, scorpeaon, speacies, peaple (people), speach, speaker, speachless, therapea.
Snap a piece → Snap a peas: This plays on “snap peas” – a very common type of pea: “Can you snap a peas off for me peas (please)?”
Remain → Romaine: “Romaine” is a type of lettuce. Examples: “Everyone romaine calm.” and “It romaines to be seen.”
To my toes → Tomatoes: As in “I got a shiver from my head tomatoes.”
Tomorrow → Tomato: As in “Here today, gone tomato.”
Tube of → Tuber: As in “Can I please purchase a tuber hand cream?”
All up in your → Jalapeño: As in “Jalapeño business.” and “Jalapeño grill.”
Serial → Cereal: As in “There’s a cereal killer on the loose.”
Surreal → Cereal: As in “The view from the summit was cereal.” and “I love impressionism and cereal art.”
Grain: As in “I’m going to go against the grain here and say …” and “There’s a grain of truth in what he’s saying.” and “I’d take it with a grain of salt.”
Grainy: Other than referring to grain (the crop food, of course), this can refer to a texture or to a low resolution photograph: “Your profile picture is a bit grainy.”
Ingrained: As in “It was ingrained in me from a young age.”
Again → A grain: As in “Come a grain?” and “Never a grain.” and “Time and time a grain.” and “Now and a grain.”
Rain → Grain: As in, “Right as grain,” and “Chasing grainbows,” and “Come grain or shine,” and “Grain on my parade,” and “Make it grain,” and “Graindrops keep falling on my head,” and “Graining cats and dogs,” and “Singin’ in the grain,” and “Somewhere over the grainbow,” and “Spitting with grain.” Notes: to chase rainbows is to go after unrealistic things. To rain on someone’s parade is to ruin a happy moment for them.
Grey → Grain: As in, “Fifty shades of grain,” and “A grain area,” and “Grain is the new black,” and “Grain matter,” and “Shades of grain.” Note: shades of grey refers to the complexity of a situation.
Brain → Grain: As in, “All brawn and no grains,” and “Beat your grains out,” and “Grain dead,” and “Grain fart,” and “Grain teaser,” and “Grain wave,” and “Grainstorming session,” and “Got it on the grain,” and “Hare grained,” and “A no-grainer,” and “Pick your grains,” and “Rack your grains,” and “It’s not grain surgery.”
Grind → Grain-d: As in, “Bump and grain-d,” and “Daily grain-d,” and “Grain-d down,” and “Grain-d to a halt,” and “Nose to the grain-dstone,” and “Don’t like the bastards grain-d you down.” Note: to have your nose to the grindstone is to work hard.
Gain → Grain: As in, “Capital grains,” and “Grain an advantage,” and “Ill-gotten grains,” and “No pain, no grain,” and “Nothing ventured, nothing grained.” Note: a capital gain is a profit from the sale of a capital asset (like stock or real estate).
*gain* → *grain*: As in, “Agrainst all odds,” and “Agrainst the clock,” and “Bar-grain basement,” and “Come a-grain?” and “A fool’s bar-grain,” and “Here we go a-grain,” and “More than you bar-grained for,” and “Now and a-grain,” and “A race agrainst time,” and “You can say that a-grain,” and “Back agrainst the wall.”
*ray* → *grain*: Change the “ray” sound in some words to “grain”: grain-ciously (graciously), engrainve (engrave), grain-dation (gradation), grain-dient (gradient), immi-grain-tion (immigration), ingrain-dient (ingredient).
I love → Olive: As in “Olive you so much!” and “Olive silly food puns!”
Or live → Olive: As in “Live like a king olive on a shoe string.”.
All of → Olive: As in “Sending olive my love to your family.”
Time → Thyme: As in “All in good thyme.” and “Better luck next thyme.” and “We just need to buy some thyme.”
Platter → Plait her: “I love to platter hair – it’s therapeutic.”
Dip: As in “Take a dip” and “Dip your toe in.” (Playing on the “crackers and dip” form of “dip”)
I am → I yam: As in “I yam who I yam.”
Yankee → Yamkee: As in “The Newyork Yamkees are up 3 points!”
Mint: “All of the items are mint condition.”
Mean’t → Mint: As in “We were just mint to be.” and “You weren’t mint to eat it!”
*ment → *mint: Words that end in “ment” can be simple cheesy “mint” puns: governmint, developmint, momint, managemint, departmint, agreemint, environmint, investmint, employmint, equiptmint, commint, assessmint, requiremint, improvemint, appointmint, settlemint, experimint, establishmint, implemint, announcemint, punishmint, measuremint, dissapointmint, advertisemint, encouragemint, embarrassmint, segmint, argumint, pigmint, tormint, paymint, ornamint, sedamint, vehemint, shipmint, treatmint, statemint, merrimint. See this list for more.
Clothes → Cloves: As in “I’m only half-cloved” and “The emperor’s new cloves.”
Love → Clove: As in “I clove you so much!” and “Clove is in the air.”
Garret → Carrot: A “garret” is an attic, loft or roof space.
Root: As in “I’m rooting for you!” and “Money is the root of all evil.” (The term “root” is also a synonym for sexual intercourse in some countries/regions)
Rude → Root: As in “A root awakening.” and “He has no manners – very root.”
Green: This can obviously refer to the colour, but it can also refer to someone who is inexperienced or naive: “A green recruit fresh from college.”
Funnel → Fennel: “Fennel” is a herb. Example: “They were all fenneled into the same career by the specialist college.”
Final → Fennel: As in “It’s the fennel count down.” and “You have the fennel say.” and “It’s my fennel offer.”
Squash: As in “Don’t squash the poor bug!” and “We need to squash the competition.”
Roo bar → Rhubarb: In Australia a car’s “bullbar” is often called a “roo bar” (“roo” is short for “kangaroo”).
Saw → Seed: The past tense form of “see” is of course “saw”, but we can be make a silly seed pun if we “conjugate” “see” like we normally do with regular verbs: “seed”. Examples: “I came, I seed, I conquered.”
Seedy: This is a describing word for someone or something that is morally questionable, foul, or dirty. Examples: “So many seedy people hanging around that place.”
Seed: As in “But it planted a seed of hope.” and “We got more seed capital from investors.”
Properly → Broccoli: This one’s a stretch! Example: “If you’re going to do it at all, you might as well do it broccoli.”
Leave → Leaf: As in “Absent without leaf.” and “Leaf no stone unturned” and “Leaf your options open.” and “Love them and leaf them.” and “That’s going to leaf a mark!” and “I’m leafing tomorrow morning.”
Love → Leaf: As in “I leaf you so much!” and “Leaf is in the air.”
Laugh → Leaf: As in “Leaf all the way to the bank.” and “Leaf in your face.” and “Leaf your head off.”
Leaves: As in “She leaves without a trace.”
So → Soy: This simple soy pun works best if the word after “so” begins with a “y”, but it still works without it. Examples: “Soy you think you can dance?” and “It’s soy sad.” and “There’s only soy much you can do.”
Say → Soy: As in “What did you just soy?” and “To have the final soy.” and “Needless to soy, …” and “Never soy never.”
Soil → Soyl: As in “That tofu pun was hilarious – I almost soyled my pants.” and “Fertile soyl.”
*soy*: Other words containing the “soy” sound can also be soy puns: ellipsoyd (ellipsoid), sinusoydally (sinusoidally).
So you been → Soya bean: As in “Soya bean up to much lately?”
Corn → Can: As in “Corn’t we all just get along?” and “Appearances corn be deceptive.” and “Bit off more than you corn chew.” and “Corn you believe it?” and “You corn count on me.”
Gone → Corn: As in “Here today, corn tomorrow.” and “It’s all corn pear-shaped.” and “Corn, but not forgotten.”
Pulse: This term can refer to a couple of different things. First, the pulse of your veins caused by your heart-beat, or more generally, any short burst or vibration (e.g. of sound, electricity, etc.). Second, it is a synonym of “legume” which refers to produce like chickpeas, lentils, and beans.
But any → Botany: As in “You expect me to be impressed, botany body can do that.”
Culture → Agriculture: A very corny one: “I was feeling homesick and experiencing agriculture shock.”
Too bad → Tuberd: As in “You want some? Tuberd, it’s all mine.” and “Tuberd the shoes don’t fit you.”
*uber*: Words that contain the “uber” sound (or similar) can sometimes be potato puns: extuberant (exuberant), tuberis (hubris), protuberances, tuberty (puberty).
Guarding → Garden: As in “A soldier was garden the entry.” and “The manager was always garden his reputation by blaming others.”
Esteemed → E-steamed: As in “Many of these qualities are e-steamed by managers.” and “Contemporary Japanese ceramics are highly e-steamed.”
Raw: As in “That was a raw deal.” (a bad deal)
Brussels: It’s the name of a region in Belgium, but is also well known as part of the phrase “Brussels sprout” which is a well known vegetable which likely originated there.
She weed→ Seaweed: As in “I just got a new pet rabbit and seaweed on my carpet.”
Produce: When the emphasis is on the “prod” part of this word, it refers to things that have been grown on a farm. You might be able to make vegetable puns with this in the right context.
Crop: As in “If you crop the photo it’ll look better.” and “The cream of the crop.” and “I always ask the hairdresser for a crop.”
Crop up: To “crop up” means to appear unexpectedly and/or suddenly, and thus could be a pun on “crop” which is a cultivated grain, fruit or vegetable.
Crap → Crop: As in, “A load of crop,” and “Bunch of crop,” and “Cut the crop,” and “The cropper,” and “Full of crop,” and “Do bears crop in the woods?” and “Don’t crop where you eat,” and “A piece of crop,” and “You scared the crop out of me.”
Scrap* → S-crop*: As in, “S-crop iron,” and “Bow and s-crope,” and “S-crope along,” and “S-crope the bottom of the barrel,” and “S-crope through,” and “S-crope together,” and “Table s-crops.”
Cop → Crop: As in, “Crop an attitude,” and “Crop out,” and “Crop shop,” and “It’s a fair crop,” and “Undercover crop,” and “Crop onto something,” and “A dirty crop.” Notes: to cop an attitude is to behave rudely. A fair cop is when you acknowledge that you’ve been caught doing wrong.
*cop* → *crop*: As in, “Under the microscrope,” and “Scrope out,” and “Cropycat,” and “Carbon cropy.”
*crop*: Emphasise the “crop” in certain words to make some corny Thanksgiving puns: acrophobia, microphone, acropolis and outcrop. Notes: Acrophobia is an extreme and irrational fear of heights. An acropolis is a citadel.
Cartoon → Cardoon: This is thistle of the sunflower family that is often called an “Artichoke thistle”. It has edible leaves and roots. Example: “Disney has some of the most famous cardoons in the world.”
Okay→ Okra: As in “Are you feeling okra?” (Terrible! 😀 By the way, okra is a plant the has edible green pods)
Rocket: As well as the obvious definition, “rocket” refers to a type of leafy salad vegetable.
Law → Slaw: As in “Slaw and order.” and “I am a slaw abiding citizen.” and “The slaw of diminishing returns.” and “The slaw of the jungle.” You could also use “slaw” to replace “it’s law” – perhaps add a preceding apostrophe like so: ‘slaw
A thousand islands: “Thousand Island” is a popular salad dressing. If you can somehow work “thousand island” into your prose, you’ve got yourself a salad pun.
Dressing: As in “Oh stop dressing it up!” and “Are you dressing up for Halloween?”
Sprout: This is a general term for “to emerge and grow rapidly”, but has obvious vegetable-based connotations (and probably origins). Example: “He thought he’d sprout wings and fly.”
Iceberg: A popular type of lettuce, and also (obviously) a big chunk of ice floating in the ocean.
Fresh: This is a term that is strongly associated with vegetables and so could probably qualify as a vegetable pun if used in the right context (though it’s a bit of a stretch!). Phrases like “a fresh start” and “a fresh pair of eyes” may be useful.
Bulb: As in “Can you change that light bulb for me?”
Stalk: “The spy stalked the target for days before getting enough intel.”
Pretty good → Rad-ish: When something is “rad” it’s awesome, cool or really good. If something is “rad-ish” then it’s just pretty good (and not overly so).

Vegetable-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to vegetables can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the vegetable themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

as easy as shelling peas
as red as beetroot
carrot and stick
cauliflower ear
cool beans
cool as a cucumber
couch potato
sofa spud
dangle the carrot
(to play) hot potato
fine words butter no parsnips
full of beans
I yam what I yam
sprout wings and fly
spill the beans
know your onions
not worth a hill of beans
cultivate your garden
it ain’t rocket science
in a pickle
keep your eyes peeled
like two peas in a pod
he has a green thumb
small potatoes
separate the wheat from the chaff
take a leaf out of my book
turn over a new leaf
the cream of the crop
whatever tickles your pickle
you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip
plant a seed of doubt
plant the seed
seed money / seed capital / seed round
the grass is always greener on the other side

Vegetable-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of vegetable-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

tomato, lettuce, beet, plant, onion, herb, spinach, pumpkin, potato, veggie, vegan, vegetarian, artichoke, cardoon, veg, legume, okra, cucumber, celery, asparagus, eggplant, salad, yam, bamboo shoot, bean, casava, produce, garlic, leek, mushroom, cabbage, radish, carrot, root vegetable, root, greens, fennel, squash, rhubarb, plantain, seed, turnip, chicory, kale, broccoli, leafy, leaf, leafy vegetable, soy, corn, avocado, sweet potato, cauliflower, herbal, soya bean, pulse, watercress, pea, parsnip, botany, agriculture, tuber, beans, zucchini, garden, maize, cuisine, steamed, organic, wheat, cereals, grains, vegetation, capsicum, raw, soybean, tofu, onions, brussel sprouts, seaweed, beetroot, thyme, lentil, pea pod, runner bean, caesar salad, coleslaw, salad bar, bell pepper, croutons, bean salad, shallot, pickle, peel, aubergine, courgette, salsify, vegetative, green bean, snap peas, broad bean, salad dressing, slaw, rocket, waldorf salad, ranch dressing, thousand island dressing, chicory, greek salad, lemon grass, spring onion, cherry tomato, celtuce, cos lettuce, sprouts, alfalfa sprouts, alfalfa, arugula, butterhead lettuce, head lettuce, iceberg lettuce, chard, parsley, cassava, pickled, green, healthy, vitamins, fibre, fresh, green pepper, acorn squash, basil, black-eyed peas, capers, celeriac, chick peas, chinese cabbage, collard greens, cress, daikon, dandelion greens, endive, fava bean, ginger, gourd, chilli peppers, jicama, kohlrabi, lima bean, mung bean, mustard greens, olive, pattypan squash, peppers, radiccho, rutabaga, scallion, sorrel, spuds, succotash, string bean, swiss chard, taro, tomatillo, vegetable, wasabi, water chestnut, herbaceous, irrigation, bulb, leaves, nature, nutrition, nutrient, vegetable patch, cabbage patch, stalk, jalapeno, crop, clove.

Vegetable Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny vegetable jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style vegetable jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to vegetables.

Why did the cucumber blush? – Because it saw the salad dressing!
What do you call an angry pea? – Grump-pea.
Why did the potatoes argue? – Because they couldn’t see eye-to-eye.
How did the farmer fix his jeans? – With a cabbage patch!
Why did the tomato get embarrassed? – Because it saw the chick pea.
Which vegetable do Sailors ban from their ships? – Leeks.
What did the lettuce say to the celery? – Quit stalking me!
What is small, red and whispers? – A hoarse raddish.
What is green and goes to summer camp? – A Brussel scout!
What do root vegetables wear to bed? – Yammies!
What do you call a retired vegetable? – A has-bean.
When is a vegetable too fresh? – When he insults the farmer.
Why do fungi have to pay double bus fares? – Because they take up too mushroom!
What’s the difference between broccoli and boogers? – Kids don’t eat broccoli.
Why shouldn’t you tell secrets in a cornfield? – There are too many ears.
What’s a vegetable’s favourite martial art? – Carot-e!
What’s the coolest vegetable? – A rad-ish!
Why did the chef quit? – They cut his celery.
What did the sweet potato say to the pumpkin? – I yam what I yam.
What does a nosey pepper do? – Gets jalapeno business!
How do you fix a broken tomato? – Tomato paste.

Vegetable Pun Images

Below is a collection of vegetable-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual vegetable puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

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