Tag: fruit cake

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Christmas puns! 🎄🌟🎁🦌🛷

Christmas is a huge, internationally celebrated holiday, and deserves an enormous (and terrible) pun list to match. It’s a holiday that we take dedicated time off for to visit family and loved ones, with a lot of thought and preparation going into the average celebration. So while you’re preparing gifts, treats, food and greetings, why not add some painfully bad Christmas puns into the mix?

Whether you’re joking about Santa, organising a reindeer-themed party, or cracking elf jokes in a greeting card, we’ve got Christmas puns covered for you and we hope you find the perfect pun for your needs.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive as possible, this list is tailored to cover the broad range of puns that come under the “Christmas” category. If you’re after a specific branch of Christmas pun, we also have lists on reindeer puns, elf puns, Christmas tree puns, gift puns, Santa puns and snowman puns.

*Please note that we have tried to minimize any religious overtones in this list, so even though words and names like Mary, Jesus, or nativity are all related to Christmas, you won’t find them in this pun list. We have also not included any meats that are traditionally eaten at Christmas, since we like to keep it animal friendly around here.

Christmas Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Christmas that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Christmas puns:

• You’ll → Yule: As in “Yule never guess” and “Ask a silly question and yule get a silly answer” and “Yule know how” and “Yule take care of it.” Note: although not commonly used in everyday/colloquial conversation, yule is now used to refer to the Christmas period.
• Know* → Noël*: As in, “A little noëledge is a dangerous thing” and “Don’t I noël it” and “I don’t noël why” and “Be the first to noël” and “Better the devil you noël than the devil you don’t” and “General noëledge” and “Goodness noëls” and “Takes one to noël one” and “The end of the world as we noël it” and “Noëledge is power” and “Secure in the noëledge that…”
• Nail → Noël: As in, “Another noël in the coffin” and “Fight tooth and noël” and “Hit the noël on the head” and “On the noël” and “When all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a noël.”
• Claustrophobic→ Clausetrophobic
• Cause→ Clause: As in, “Claus a stir” and “Claus and effect” and “Claus for concern” and “A lost claus” and “Rebel without a claus” and “A martyr to the claus” and “Just beclaus you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
• Claws→ Claus: As in, “Get one’s claus into” and “Get your claus out.”
• Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
• Of → Elf: As in, “15 minutes elf fame” and “A life elf its own” and “Ahead elf one’s time” and “At the top elf one’s lungs” and “Bag elf tricks” and “Barrel elf laughs” and “Best elf both worlds” and “Best elf the bunch” and “Beyond the call elf duty” and “Blink elf an eye” and “Bored out elf your mind” and “Bundle elf joy” and “Breath elf fresh air” and “By the skin elf your teeth” and “By no stretch elf the imagination” and “Chip elf the old block” and “Figure elf speech.”
• If → Elf: As in, “As elf there was no tomorrow” and “As elf” and “Elf I do say so myself” and “Elf looks could kill” and “Elf need be” and “Elf nothing else” and “Elf only” and “Elf the shoe fits” and “No elfs or buts” and “Elf it’s the last thing I do” and “Elf it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
• Selfie→ Elfie: As in, “Take an elfie,” and “Use an elfie stick.”
• Elvis→ Elfis
• Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
• Awful → Elful: As in, “God elful” and “Something elful has happened!”
• Elephant → Elfant: As in, “The elfant in the room,” and “An elfant never forgets” and “Don’t think of pink elfants” and “A memory like an elfant” and “When elfants make war, it’s the mice that suffer.”
• Telephone → Telelfone: As in, “Hanging up the telelfone” and “Waiting by the telelfone” and “Hold the telelfone.”
• Rude of→ Rudolph: As in, “Well, that was Rudolph you.”
• Rain, dear→ Rain, deer: As in, “It looks like rain, deer!”
• Rein it in, dear→ Rein it in, deer
• Rude→ Rudolph: As in, “A rudolph awakening.”
• Slay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh, queen” and “Sleigh the dragon.”
• Say*→ Sleigh*: As in, “As the sleighing goes” and “Do as I sleigh, not as I do” and “Does exactly what it sleighs on the box” and “Have the final sleigh” and “Just sleigh the word” and “It goes without sleighing” and “Never sleigh never” and “Sleigh cheese!” and “Sleigh it loud and sleigh it proud” and “Sleigh it with flowers” and “Sleigh uncle” and “Sleigh what you mean and mean what you sleigh” and “Sleigh your prayers” and “Simon sleighs” and “As I was sleighing” and “If I do sleigh so myself” and “I’ll sleigh” and “Let’s not and sleigh we did” and “Sleigh again?” and “That’s sleighing something” and “To sleigh the least” and “You can’t sleigh fairer than that.”
• Idea→ Ideer: As in, “You’ve got no ideer” and “I have a better ideer” and “Bat the ideer around” and “Bounce ideers off” and “A bright ideer” and “Warming to the ideer” and “What’s the big ideer?”
• Dear→ Deer: As in, “After you, my deer” and “Deerly beloved, we are gathered here today” and “Elementary, my deer Watson” and “Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn” and “Hang on for deer life” and “Near and deer to my heart” and “Nearest and deerest.”
• There→ Deer: As in, “Ahoy deer!” and “And there deer was one” and “Are we deer yet?” and “As if deer was no tomorrow” and “Be deer for” and “I’ll be deer in spirit” and “Be deer or be square” and “Been deer, done that” and “Don’t go deer” and “Don’t just stand deer, do something” and “For every action deer is an equal and opposite reaction” and “Hang in deer” and “Here and deer” and “Here deer be beasts” and “Here, deer and everywhere” and “Hold it right deer” and “Is anybody deer” and “It’s a jungle out deer” and “Knock knock, who’s deer?” and “Let’s be careful out deer” and “So deer!” and “The truth is out deer” and “Deer and then” and “Deer are two sides to every situation” and “Deer ought to be a law” and “Deer’s no place like home” and “Deer’s no smoke without a fire” and “Deer you have it.”
• Snakes and Ladders→ St. Nicks and Ladders: Snakes and Ladders is a fairly retro board game.
• Suit→ Soot: As in, “All over him like a cheap soot” and “At a price to soot your pocket” and “Follow soot” and “In your birthday soot” and “Soot up!” and “Soots you down to a tee” and “Soots you down to the ground.”
• No man→ Snowman: As in, “Boldly go where snowman has gone before” and “Snowman is an island” and “Time waits for snowman.” Note: to say that no man is an island is to say that no person is truly separate from others.
• No way, man→ Snow way, man
• *ex → *xmas: We can make some bad Christmas puns using the common abbreviation of “xmas”: “Weird fle-xmas, but ok” and “Body mass inde-xmas” and “A comple-xmas situation” and “On refle-xmas.” Other words you could use: ve-xmas, ape-xmas, vorte-xmas and ame-xmas (As in, American Express. Could work for a joke about an expensive Christmas). Notes: “Weird flex, but ok” is a meme that describes a boast that most would consider to be about negative traits, or a boast that someone shouldn’t be proud of.
• *ext → *xtmas: As in, “Out of contextmas” and “Drunk textmas” and “Coming nextmas” Other suitable words: pretextmas (pretext), subtextmas (subtext) and hypertextmas (hypertext). Note: subtext is meaning which isn’t explicitly announced by the communicator.
• *eck/s → *ecksmas: These ones are a bit harder to pull off as they don’t visually look like xmas puns, although they do sound like xmas puns. As in, “Checksmas out” and “A nervous wreckmas” and “Clear the decksmas” and “Pain in the neckmas” Other words you could use: pecksmas, flecksmas, hecksmas and specksmas.
• *exed → *exedmas: While these words don’t look like xmas puns, they do sound like “xmas”. As in, perplexedmas, vexedmas, indexedmas and flexedmas.
• *ecs → *ecsmas: specsmas (specs), pecsmas (pecs), aztecsmas (aztec), execsmas (exec). Note: exec is short for executive.
• *ect → *ect-mas: As in, “Cause and effect-mas” and “Boomerang effect-mas” and “Domino effect-mas” and “A little respect-mas” and “Going off subject-mas” Other words you could use: project-mas, affect-mas, aspect-mas, object-mas, prospect-mas, perfect-mas and reflect-mas.
• Tide → Christmastide: While we may not often hear the term “Christmastide,” it refers to the season of Christmas, or the general “time” of Christmas. As in: “At the turning of the Christmastide” and “Rising Christmastide” and “Stem the Christmastide” and “Swim against the Christmastide” and “The Christmastide is turning” and “Christmastide you over” and “Time and Christmastide wait for no man.”
• *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
• *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
• Marry → Merry: As in, “Merry beneath you” and “Merry for love.”
• Merry: A couple of merry-related phrases for you to play with: As merry as the day is long” and “Lead a merry dance.” Note: to lead a merry dance is to make something much more inconvenient than it has to be – similar to a goose chase.
• *mari* → *merry*: As in, “Merrytal (marital) status,” and “Yellow Submerryne.” Other words you could use: merrytime (maritime), merrygold (marigold), merrymba (marimba), merryne (marine), primerrily (primarily) and summerrily (summarily). Note: Yellow Submarine is a famous song by the Beatles. A marimba is a music instrument which resembles a giant xylophone on wheels.
• *marri* → *merry*: As in, merryge (marriage), merry-ed (married) and unmerry-ed (unmarried).
• *mary* → *merry*: As in, “In summerry” and “Primerry colours” and “Customerry to…” and “Taken to the infirmerry” and “Rosemerry and thyme” and “Mammerry glands.”
• Mary → Merry
• Meryl Streep → Merry/l Streep
• *mery → *merry: As in, “Summerry feel” and “Emerry board” and “Ice creamerry“. Couple of other words that could work: perfumerry and shimmerry. Note: an emery board is a rough surface, usually used as a nail file.
• America/n → Amerryca/n: As in, “All Amerrycan” and “Amerrycan pie,” and “Captain Amerryca” and “The Amerrycan dream.”
• Admiring → Admerrying: As in, “Glance admerryingly” and “Admerrying your work.”
• *mory → *merry: As in, memerry (memory), armerry (armory) and polyamerry (polyamory).
• *erry → *merry: As in, “Home delivmerry” and “Plastic surgmerry” and “It’s a mystmerry to me,” and “Art gallmerry,” and “Stock up on stationmerry.”
• Bill Murray → Bill Merry: Bill Murray is an American actor and comedian. Bill Murray already features in a few different memes, and this could work alongside an image of him with the caption “Wishing you a Bill Merry Christmas.”
• You → Yule: Although it’s a less accurate match (phonetically) than “you’ll”, we can swap you for yule and have it still work: “We wish yule a Merry Christmas” and “I love yule” and “Mind yule” and “As yule know” and “Back at yule” and “Believe yule me” and “Here yule are”. There are obviously countless other phrases that this could be used in, so be creative!
• *ful → *yule: As in, “It’s a wonderfyule life” and “A beautifyule day” and “Be gratefyule” and “Something awfyule” and “What a wonderfyule world” and “Thoughtfyule gifts”. Notes: “It’s a Wonderful Life” is a particularly suitable one as it’s the name of a classic Christmas movie.
• Jewels → Yules: As in, “Crown yules” and “The family yules“.
• Jul* → Yule*: This works particularly well for names: Yule-ia (Julia), Yule-ian (Julian), Yule-iet (Juliet), Yule-ius (Julius) and Yule-io (Julio).
• *yool* → *yule*: Change words that have a “yool” sound to include “yule” instead: “Well articyule-ated (articulated)” and “The Incredibyules” and “Your continyule support” and “Virtyule reality” and “Individyule needs” and “Casyule conversation” and “Intellectyule property” and “Mutyule desctruction”. Other words that could be used: incredyule-ous (incredulous), perpetyule (perpetual), manyule (manual), spirityule (spiritual), fabyuleous (fabulous), formyule-ate (formulate), immacyule-ate (immaculate), pecyule-iar (peculiar), ridicyule (ridicule), simyule-ation (simulation). Notes: if something is articulated, then it has moving parts connected by joints. “The Incredibles” is a Pixar film and could work as a pun on a greeting card – “Have an Incredibyule Christmas” (accompanied with a picture of the characters). To be incredulous is to disbelieve something.
• Tide → Yuletide: Yuletide is a word (not commonly) used to refer to the general period of Christmas time, similar to the word Christmastide. We can make some very bad Christmas puns by swapping yuletide into these tide-related phrases: “Even at the turning of the Yuletide” and “A rising Yuletide” and “Stem the Yuletide” and “Swim against the Yuletide.”
• Kneel/Knelt → Noël: As in, “Noëlt down beside him” and “Noël before me” and “Remaining noëling for hours.”
• *no* → *noël*: As in, “Casinoël royale” and “Dominoël effect” and “The search for innoëlvation.” Other words that could work: agnoëlstic (agnostic), noëltice (notice) and pianoël (piano). Note: to be agnostic is to be doubtful of something.
• *nal* → *noël*: As in, “Nothing personoël” and “The originoël and the best” and “Thinking rationoëlly” and “On my signoël!” Other words that could work: professionoël (professional), anoëlysis (analysis), anoëlyse (analyse) and anoëlogy (analogy).
• *nel → *noël: As in, “Change the channoël” and “Going through a tunnoël” and “A kernoël of truth” and “Funnoëled through the system” and “Flannoëlette pyjamas.”
• *nol* → *noël*: As in, “Cutting-edge technoëlogy” and “A lengthy monoëlogue” and “In chronoëlogical order” and “Correct terminoëlogy” and “Hablas espanoël?” Note:  A monologue is a speech by a single person. “Hablas espanol?” means “Do you speak Spanish?”
• *nul* → *noël*: As in, “Noëllify the effects of” and “The penoëltimate show” and “Marriage annoëlment.” Note: to nullify something is to cancel it out. Penultimate means second last.
• Sent her→ Santa: As in, “I santa a few presents, but she hasn’t received them.”
• Sanitise→ Santa-tise: As in, “Hand santa-tiser” and “This area needs santa-tising” and “Bad santa-tation.”
• *cent*→ *santa*: As in, “The santa (centre) of attention” and “Left, right and santa” and “Take santa stage” and “Sale of the santaury” and “A desanta (decent) person” and “A magnifisanta effort” and “Don’t play innosanta” and “The street adjasanta (adjacent)” and “An eccsantaric (eccentric) character” and “A sweet insanta-ive” and “Are santapedes poisonous?”
• *sant→ *santa: As in, “Incessanta noise” and “Pleasanta conversation,” and “Peasanta’s clothing” and “Pheasanta’s don’t want to be eaten” and “Are you cognisanta of that fact?” and “An unpleasanta atmosphere.” Note: to be cognizant is to be aware.
• *sent*→ *santa*: As in, “What a beautiful santament” and “No is a complete santance” and “Pigs are santa-ent (sentient) beings” and “A santamental being” and “All presanta and correct” and “No time like the presanta” and “Represanta-ng” and “Bet on our dissanta (dissent)” and “You have our assanta” and “I resanta the insinuation” and “Absanta without leave” and “Conspicuously absanta.”
• *sand*→ *santa*: As in, santawich (sandwich), santabox (sandbox), santal (sandal), santastorm (sandstorm), thousanta (thousand), quicksanta (quicksand).
• Satan→ Santa: As in, “The Church of Santa” and “A santa-ist (satanist).”
• Clause→ Claus: As in, “A subordinate claus.”
• Close→ Claus: As in, “A claus thing” and “A claus call” and “As one door clauses, another opens” and “At claus quarters” and “Behind claused doors” and “Case claused” and “Claus encounters” and “Claus friends” and “Claus proximity” and “A claus shave” and “Claus to home” and “A claused book” and “Don’t stand so claus to me” and “Drawn to a claus” and “Keep your cards claus” and “Keep your friends claus and your enemies clauser” and “Too claus for comfort” and “Up claus and personal” and “A skeleton in the clauset.”
• Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
• *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
• *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
• Father→ Father Christmas: As in, “Father Christmas knows best” and “Founding Father Christmas” and “Like Father Christmas, like son.”
• *ave* → *eve*: We can make Christmas puns by referring to Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve is a popular enough concept that given the right context, we can make puns simply by referring to “eve”: “Everage (average) Joe” and “On everage” and “An eversion (aversion) to” and “Evert your eyes” and “Another evenue to consider.” Other words you could use: everse (averse), evenge (avenge), leeve (leave), heeve (heave), weeve (weave), cleeve (cleave).
• *eve*: Emphasise the “eve” in certain words: “Highly anticipated event” and “In the evening” and “For ever” and “Did you ever?” and “Just your everyday person” and “Eventually, I’ll…” and “Every step of the way” and “Everything must go” and “Everything under the sun” and “Everybody who’s anybody.”
• *ive* → *eve*: As in, “Put [something] in perspecteve” and “Don’t geve (give) up!” and “Comprehenseve lessons” and “Take the initiateve.”
• *ava* → *eve*: As in, “What’s your eve-ailability?” and “Make yourself eve-ailable” and “An eve-alanche of work” and “Gluttony and eve-arice.” Note: avarice is a greed for material gain (as opposed to gluttony, which is a greed for food. )
• *eva* → *eve*: As in, “Eve-ade the question” and “Feeling eve-asive” and “Eve-acuate the building”. Other words that could work: eve-aluation (evaluation), eve-aluate (evaluate) and eve-anescent (evanescent). Note: if something is evanescent, then it’s barely there.
• *iva* → *eve*: As in, “They’re not equevealent” and “Lacking moteveation” and “Preveacy screens.” Other suitable words: ambevealent (ambivalent), dereveative (derivative) and veveacious (vivacious). Notes: derivative means unoriginal. To be ambivalent is to hold two seemingly contradictory ideas or emotions at the same time.
• *ivi* → *eve*: As in, “Check your prevelege” and “Ceve-il rights” and “Deve-ine intervention” and “A hive of acteve-ity” and “Treve-ial matters” and “Indeve-idual needs” and “Obleve-ious to their surroundings.”
• *evi* → *eve*: As in, “Hide the eve-idence” and “Eve-il genius” and “Up for reve-iew” and “Left to your own deve-ices.” Other words that could work: eve-iscerate (eviscerate), eve-ict (evict), eve-idently (evidently), eve-iction (eviction), ineve-itable (inevitable), alleve-iate (alleviate) and reve-ive (revive). Note: to eviscerate is to disembowel. To alleviate is to lighten or ease a burden.
• *avo* → *eve*: As in, eveocado (avocado), eve-oidance (avoidance), eve-oid (avoid), endeve-or (endeavor), feveourite (favourite). Note: to endeavour is to make an effort.
• *evo* → *eve*: As in, eve-oke (evoke), eve-olve (evolve), eve-olved (evolved), eve-olution (evolution), maleve-olent (malevolent), reve-olution (revolution) and beneve-olent (benevolent). Notes: to be malevolent is to have ill-intent. To be benevolent is to have goodwill towards others.
• *ivo* → *eve*: As in, “Eveory (ivory) tower” and “Peve-ot (pivot) point” and “Freveolous (frivolous) spending” and “A peve-otal moment” and “A nasty deveorce.” Note: if something is frivolous, then it’s of little importance. If something is pivotal, then it’s a turning point, or of great importance.
• Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in” and “Gift yourself a bad name” and “Gift them a hand” and “Gift and take” and “Gift credit where credit is due” and “Gift it a rest” and “Gift it the green light” and “Gift me a call” and “Gift 110%”.
• Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
• Gift: Here are some gift-related phrases that could work as a gift pun in the right context: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth” and “Gift of life” and “A gift that keeps on giving” and “A gift from above.”
• Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
• Present: We’ve included present-related phrases in this list too. Present has two meanings: a gift, and the current moment. We can play with these words to make present puns in the right situation, as in: “No time like the present” and “All present and correct” and “Present company excepted.”
• *giving: Some giving-related words to play with: caregiving, forgiving, life-giving, misgivings, thanksgiving.
• Self-*→ Elf-*: As in, “Have some elf-conficence” and “She’s got good elf-control.” Other words that would work with this format: elf-contained, elf-deceiving, elf-deprecating, elf-determination, elf-enrichment, elf-governing, elf-help, elf-improvement, elf-perpetuating, elf-portrait, elf-sufficient.
• *self→ *elf: As in, “Be your-elf” and “An elf-made business owner” and “Apply your-elf” and “Pull your-elf together” and “I didn’t do it my-elf.” Note: this also works for the plural forms of both self and elf – as in, “Apply your-elves (apply yourselves),” and “Pull your-elves together.”
• Self*→ Elf*: As in, “An elfish (selfish) person” and “Elfless (selfless) bravery” and “I won’t stand for such elfishness (selfishness).”
• *alf*→ *elf*: As in, elfalfa (alfalfa), elfredo (alfredo), behelf (behalf – as in, “On behelf of”) and melfunction (malfunction – as in, “Why is the computer melfunctioning?”)
• Health→ Helf: As in, “A helfy mind in a helfy body” and “Bad for your helf” and “A clean bill of helf” and “Glowing with helf” and “In sickness and in helf” and “A picture of helf” and “Take a helf-y interest” and “Ill helf” and “In the pink of helf” and “Helfy as a horse.” Note: if you’re in the pink of health, then you’re in very good condition.
• Wealth→ Welf: As in, “Rolling in welf” and “Redistribution of welf” and “Share the welf.”
• Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
• Effin’ → Elfin: As in, “Elfin hell” and “Not another elfin word!” Note: Effin’ is shorthand slang for f*cking.
• Effed → Elfed: As in, “I elfed up” and “It’s completely elfed.” Note: Effed is shorthand slang for f*cked (in the context that something is thoroughly ruined).
• Half → Helf: As in, “Ain’t helf bad” and “My better helf” and “Getting there is helf the fun” and “Helf a second” and “Helf asleep” and “Helfway to paradise” and “Not helf the man I used to be” and “How the other helf lives” and “Glass helf empty” and “Got helf a mind to…” and “Meet helfway” and “Too clever by helf.”
• Halve → Helve: As in, “A problem shared is a problem helved” and “Go helves” and “By helves” and “Do by helves.”
• Eavesdropping → Elvesdropping: As in, “Caught elvesdropping” and “Elvesdropping on.”
• *ella* → *elfa: As in, “Under the umbrelfa of” and “Let a smile be your umbrelfa” and “A classic novelfa (novella)” and “A spicy vegan paelfa (paella)” and “An a capelfa (capella) choir” and “Miscelfaneous (miscellaneous) goods” and “A stelfar (stellar) review” and “A constelfation (constellation) of stars” and “Down in the celfar (cellar)” and “A late cancelfation (cancellation).”
• Cinderella → Cinderelfa
• Eleven → Elelfen: Eleven is a character on the American sci-fi show Stranger Things.
• *elev* → *elef*: As in, “Count to elelfen (eleven)” and “Elelfated (elevated) to new heights” and “Take the elelfator (elevator)” and “Time for elelfenses (elevenses)” and “The elelfenth hour” and “Stay relelfant (relevant)” and “That’s irrelelfant” and “I don’t see the relelfance” and “Glued to the telelfision (television).” Notes: If something has been done at the eleventh hour, then it’s been done at the very last moment. Elevenses is a type of snack break.
• Ella Fitzgerald → Elfa Fitzgerald: Ella Fitzgerald was a famous American jazz singer. This could work in a couple of different ways – if someone works with music and is particularly short (short = elf + musician = Ella F.); or if someone is receiving a gift that’s musical in nature (elf = reference to the gift + Ella = reference to musicality of gift).
• Twelve → Twelf/Twelves: As in, “Twelf/Twelves Night” and “Twelf (or twelves) apostles” and “On the twelf night of Christmas, my true love gave to me..” Note: Twelfth Night is a Shakespearean comedy.
• Left → Elf’t: As in, “Exit stage elf’t” and “Keep elf’t” and “Elf’t hanging” and “Elf’t, right and center” and “Elf’t to your own devices” and “Out of elf’t field” and “Two elf’t feet” and “Be elf’t holding the baby.” Notes: if someone is “left holding the baby,” then they’ve been left unfairly with a situation or problem that isn’t theirs.
• *lef* → *elf*: As in, “Lunch elftovers” and “Last on the battelfield” and “Malicious malelfactor.” Notes: a malefactor is someone who breaks the law.
• *lif* → *elf*: As in, “A prolelfic writer” and “Healthy lelfstyle” and “Exemplelfies the qualities of…” and “You qualelfy for the position” and “Oversimplelfication” and “Suspenseful clelffhanger.”
• *olf* → *elf*: As in, “Cry welf” and “A welf in sheep’s clothing” and “Out playing gelf.” Couple of other words that could work: werewelf and elfactory. Notes: olfactory is to do with the sense of smell.
• *ilf* → *elf*: As in, “Welfully disobedient” and “Extremely skelful” and “Pelfering the office supplies” Note: to pilfer is to repeatedly steal small amounts.
• *ulf* → *elf*: As in, “The Gelf (Gulf) of Mexico” and “Engelfed in emotion” and “Felfilled wishes” and “Waiting for felfilment.” Note: to engulf is to completely surround and cover something.
• *aff* → *elf*: As in, “Offer elffordances” and “State of elffairs” and “Links and elffiliates” and “Brimming with elffection” and “An elffluent family.” Other words that could work: elffected (affected), elffable (affable), elfford (afford), elffirm (affirm), elffinity (affinity), and elffect (affect). Notes: to be affable is to be easy to talk to. Affluence is an abundance of riches or wealth.
• *eff* → *elf*: As in, “Elf off” and “Or other words to that elffect” and “Side elffects” and “Spare no elffort” and “Waiting to take elffect” and “An elffective insult.” Other words that could work: elfficacy (efficacy), elfficient (efficient), elfficiency, elffusive. Notes: Effusiveness is an expression of great emotion or enthusiasm. Efficacy is the power to produce a desired effect.
• *iff* → *elf*: “And now for something completely delfferent” and “Delffuse the tension” and “What’s the delfference?” and “A delfficult situation.” Other words that could work: plaintelff (plaintiff), tarelff (tariff), sherelff (sheriff), clelff (cliff), delfferentiate (differentiate), indelfferent (indifferent) and delffident (diffident). Notes: to be diffident is to not have confidence in your abilities. To differentiate is to discern a difference between things.
• *off* → *elf*: As in, “A load elff your mind” and “All bets are elff” and “Back elff” and “Bite elff more than you can chew” and “Bite someone’s head elff” and “Blow elff some steam” and “Bouncing elff the walls” and “A chip elff the old block” and “Dance your socks elff” and “Fall elff the wagon” and “Fly elff the handle” and “Fly elff the shelves” and “Get it elff your chest” and “Get elff lightly” and “Get elff on the wrong foot” and “Could see you a mile eff” and “Learned elff by heart” and “Let’s call the whole thing elff” and “Like water elff a duck’s back.” Other off-related or inclusive words that could work: elffset (offset), elffice (office), elffer (offer), elfficial (official), elffensive (offensive), elffence (offence), elfficer (officer).
• Afghanistan → Elfghanistan
• Africa → Elfrica
• *af* → *elf*: As in, “Elfter all,” and “Elfter my own heart,” and “Chase elfter,” and “A delfening silence,” and “Happily ever elfter,” and “Offer elffordances,” and “Selfty first,” and “Be elfraid, be very elfraid.” Other suitable words: elficionado (aficionado), elfire (afire), elfield (afield), bonelfide (bonafide), elfloat (afloat), elflame (aflame), elflutter (aflutter), lelflet (leaflet), elforementioned (aforementioned), elforesaid (aforesaid), elfoul (afoul), elfoot (afoot), elforethought (aforethought), pinelfore (pinafore), elfresh (afresh), elftermath (aftermath), elfterward (afterward), elftershave (aftershave), elfternoon (afternoon), elfterglow (afterglow), elfterthought (afterthought) and elfterlife (afterlife). Note: an aficionado is a lover of a certain activity. If something is bonafide, then it’s genuine and real.
• *ef* → *elf*: As in, “For your benelfit” and “For future relference” and “Conditioned relflex” and “Relflect badly on” and “Delfault back on” and “Cultural artelfacts.” Other words that could work: nelfarious (nefarious), delfer (defer), benelfactor (benefactor), delfamation (defamation), delfence (defence), prelfer (prefer), delfeat (defeat), delfinition (definition), delfine (define), delfinitely (definitely), benelficial (beneficial), delfiant (defiant) and delficit (deficit). Notes: a benefactor is one that provides help or advantages.
• *if* → *elf*: Motelfs (motifs), manelfest (manifest), beautelful (beautiful), signelficant (significant), artelfact (artifact), multelfaceted (multifaceted), specelfic (specific), sacrelfice (sacrifice), certelficate (certificate), magnelficent (magnificent), caulelflower (cauliflower), unelform (uniform), pitelful (pitiful), fancelful (fanciful), bountelful (bountiful), dutelful (dutiful), mercelful (merciful).
• *of* → *elf*: As in, “A paid prelfessional” and “Favourite prelfessor” and “Chosen prelfession” and “Gaining prelfit (profit)” and “Prelfitable ventures” and “Camelflage pants” and “Prelfound thoughts” and “Ecelfriendly and organic” and “Elfentimes (oftentimes)” and “Bleeding prelfusely.” Note: profusely means in large amounts.
• *elve*: Emphasize the “elve” in these words and phrases: “Smooth as velvet” and “Shelve the issue for later” and “By themselves.”
• *alv* → *elve*: As in, “Selvege what you can” and “My selveation” and “Gelveanised into action.”
• *ilv* → *elv*: As in, “Like quickselver” and “Every dark cloud has a selver lining” and “Sell the family selver” and “Selver tongue” and “Hide the selverware” and “A selvery shine.”
• *olv* → *elv*: As in, “Raised by welves” and “Throw to the welves” and “Selve all your problems” and “Steely reselve” and “Evelved into a better person” and “Don’t invelve me in your problems” and “Abselved of your sins” and “Disselved relationship” and “A develving situation” and “Too invelved” and “The world doesn’t revelve around you.”
• *ulv* → *elv*: As in, velvea (vulva) and pelverise (pulverise).
• *av* → *elve*: As in, “An elverage result” and “Elveant-garde art” and “Causing an elvealanche” and “List your elveailability” and “Elvert your eyes” and “All about the elveacado” and “Elveoiding you” and “Selveory snacks.” Other words that could work: elveatar (avatar), elvearice (avarice), carelvean (caravan), aggrelveate (aggravate), elverse (averse), elvenue (avenue), elvenge (avenge), elve-iation (aviation), elve-ian (avian), pelvelova (pavlova), elveow (avow), endelveor (endeavour). Notes: avant-garde means “cutting edge”. Avarice is greed, in particular for wealth or gain. To be averse is to dislike something. To endeavour is to make an effort.
• *ev* → *elve*: As in, “A late delveloper” and “Software delveloper” and “Current elvents” and “Turn of elvents” and “Positive relveiews (reviews)” and “Hide the elveidence” and “Hard elveidence” and “Annual elvealuations” and “Elveade conversation” and “Looking elveasive” and “Elveacuate the building” and “A prelvealent issue” and “Elven Steven” and “Break elven,” and “Don’t get mad, get elven,” and “An elven chance,” and “Elven handed,” and “Elven in the best of times,” and “Elvery breath you take,” and “Elvery little bit helps,” and “Elverything under the sun,” and “Elvery one and his brother,” and “Thinking of you elveryday,” and “It’ll happen elventually,” and “The elvening news,” and “Elveil (evil) twin.”
• *iv* → *elve/elf*: As in, “Feeling mot-elve-ated (motivated)” and “A fresh perspectelf” and “Take the initiatelf” and “It is imperatelf that…” Other words that could work: ambelfalent (ambivalent), derelfative (derivative), equelvealent (equivalent) and comprehenselve (comprehensive), elveory (ivory), frelveolous (frivolous), delveorce (divore), delveulge (divulge), relveulet (rivulet). Notes: to be ambivalent is to feel different, contradictory things at once.
• *ov* → *elve*: As in, “Elvercome with emotion” and “All elver (over) the show” and “A bridge elver troubled water” and “Get elver yourself” and “A standing elveation” and “A grave elversight (oversight)” and “The elverall scheme of things.” Other words that could work: elverlook (overlook), elversee (oversee), elverwhelm (overwhelm), elverlate (ovulate), elverride (override), elvert (overt), innelveation (innovation), pelvelova (pavlova) and supernelvea (supernova). Note: to be overt is to do something in secret or quietly.
• *rood*→ *rudolph*: Change words that rhyme with “rude” to include “rudolph”: “Debt accrudolph” (accrued)” and “Coffee’s brudolph (brewed)” and “Crudolph (crude) oil” and “Don’t intrudolph (intrude).”
• Red→ Red-nosed: As in, “As red-nosed as a beetroot” and “Better dead than red-nosed” and “Caught red-nosed.”
• Nose→ Red-nose: As in, “Always have your red-nose in a book” and “Plain as the red-nose on your face” and “Blow your red-nose” and “Can’t see beyond the end of your red-nose” and “Give somebody a red-nose.”
• Lay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh a finger on” and “Sleigh down your arms” and “Sleigh down your life” and “Sleigh eyes on” and “Sleigh down the law” and “Sleigh it on thick” and “The sleigh of the land” and “Sleigh down the groundwork.”
• Said→ Sleigh’d: As in, “After all is sleigh’d and done” and “I couldn’t have sleigh’d it better” and “Easier sleigh’d than done” and “Enough sleigh’d” and “No sooner sleigh’d than done” and “‘Nuff sleigh’d” and “Was it something I sleigh’d?” and “That’s what you sleigh’d.”
• Sight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “Catch sleigh’t of” and “Hidden in plain sleigh’t” and “Love at first sleigh’t” and “Not a pretty sleigh’t” and “Out of sleigh‘t” and “Set your sleigh’ts on” and “A sleigh’t for sore eyes” and “A sleigh’t to behold” and “Hindsleigh’t is 20/20″ and “Can’t stand the sleigh’t of” and “A sorry sleigh’t.”
• Slight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “A sleigh’t oversight” and “Sleigh’tly ahead of our time” and “Not in the sleigh’test” and “A sleigh’t misunderstanding.”
• Slate→ Sleight’: As in, “A blank sleigh’t” and “A clean sleigh’t” and “Wipe the sleigh’t clean.”
• *sight*→ *sleight*: As in, “I value your insleight” and “An enormous oversleight” and “In hindsleight” and “An insleightful person” and “I wish I had your foresleight” and “A sleightseeing tour.”
• *sley→ *sleigh: As in, parsleigh (parsley), paisleigh (paisley), Elvis Presleigh (Presley), and Ronald Weasleigh (Weasley).
• Lay*→ Sleigh*: As in, “The topmost sleigher (layer)” and “Sleighout (layout) designer” and “In sleighperson’s terms.” Note: a layperson is someone with no training or qualifications in a particular subject.
• Laid→ Sleigh’d: As in, “Get sleigh’d” and “Sleigh’d back” and “Sleigh’d bare” and “Sleigh’d to rest” and “Even the best sleigh’d plans.”
• *say*→ *sleigh*: As in, “I have an essleigh (essay) due Monday” and “That’s hearsleigh (hearsay)” and “Don’t be a naysleigher” and “The old soothsleigher.” Notes: hearsay is a type of evidence that has a reputation for being untrustworthy or unreliable. A soothsayer is one who predicts the future.
• *sly→ *sleigh: Use words that end in “sly” to make some corny sleigh puns: “It happened simultaneousleigh” and “Well, obviousleigh” and “You performed flawlessleigh.” Here are some other words that would work with this: surreptitiousleigh (surreptitiously), continuousleigh (continuously), vicariousleigh (vicariously), seamlessleigh (seamlessly), previousleigh (previously), thusleigh (thusly), seriousleigh (seriously), furiousleigh (furiously), carelessleigh (carelessly), shamelessleigh (shamelessly), soundlessleigh (soundlessly), maliciousleigh (maliciously), curiousleigh (curiously), ceremoniousleigh (ceremoniously), tenaciousleigh (tenaciously), frivolousleigh (frivolously), deviousleigh (deviously), fabulousleigh (fabulously), famousleigh (famously), gloriousleigh (gloriously).
• Sleight: Emphasise the “sleigh” – “Sleigh-t of hand.”
• Eerie→ Deerie: As in, “A deerie atmosphere.” Note: eerie means creepy.
• Dairy→ Deery: As in, “Deery is scary.”
• Dare→ Deer: As in, “Deer for more” and “Deer to be different” and “How deer you!” and “Deer to dream” and “Who deers wins.”
• There*→ Deer*: Deerfore (therefore), deerby (thereby), deerof (thereof), deerafter (thereafter), deerin (therein).
• Their→ Deer: As in, “Cut them down in deer prime” and “Swept them of deer feet” and “Everybody and deer brother” and “Put them in deer place” and “Deer bark is worse than deer bite” and “Cats always land on deer feet.”
• Deal→ Deerl: As in, “I can’t deerl with this” and “Big deerl” and “Cut me a deerl” and “A deerl breaker” and “Deerl from the bottom of the deck” and “Deerl me in” and “Deerl or no deerl?” and “Deerl with it” and “A done deerl” and “Make a deerl with the devil” and “A raw deerl” and “Seal the deerl” and “Strike a deerl” and “Sweeten the deerl” and “The art of the deerl” and “The real deerl” and “Wheeling and deerling” and “The real deerl.” Note: to deal from the bottom of the deck is to use dishonest methods in dealing with a situation.
• Tears→ Deers: As in, “Blood, sweat and deers,” and “Bring deers to your eyes,” and “Burst into deers,” and “Fighting back deers,” and “It will all end in deers,” and “Moved to deers,” and “No more deers.”
• Tear*→ Deer*: deerdrop (teardrop) deerful (tearful) deery-eyed.
• *tary→ *deery: As in, “I’m sick of propriedeery (proprietary) cables” and “Complemendeery (complementary) colours” and “You’re very complimendeery today” and “My new secredeery.” Other words that work with this format: sedendeery (sedentary), documendeery (documentary), rudimendeery (rudimentary), monedeery (monetary), solideery (solitary). Notes: if something is proprietary, then it’s used or made under exclusive legal rights of the maker. To be sedentary is to not be physically active.
• *ter*→ *deer*: As in, “Explore new deerritory” and “Harsh deerrain” and “Deerrible traffic” and “A deerrific result.” Other words that would work: characdeer (character), madeer (matter), masdeer (master), fosdeer (foster), bedeer (better), compudeer (computer), leddeer (letter), indeerest (interest), ardeery (artery), indeerface (interface), aldeernative (alternative), baddeery (battery), indeernet (internet).
• Rein: These rein-related phrases may serve as some terrible reindeer puns: “Hold the reins” and “Rein it in” and “Take the reins.”
• Rain→ Rein: As in, “Right as rein” and “Chasing reinbows” and “Come rein or shine” and “Don’t rein on my parade” and “It never reins but it pours” and “Make it rein” and “Over the reinbow” and “Reindrops keep falling on my head” and “Reining in my heart” and “Reining cats and dogs” and “Singin’ in the rein” and “Spitting with rein” and “Take a reincheck” and “Taste the reinbow” and “The pot of gold at the end of the reinbow.” Note: to take a raincheck is to accept an invitation but with the stipulation that you can only attend or fulfill it at a later date.
• *rain/ran*→ *rein*: Use words with a “rain” sound in them as a reference to reindeer: “Against the grein” and “Take the trein” and “Bucking under the strein” and “Kindly refrein from feeding the animals” and “My breinchild.” Other words that would work with this: birdbrein (birdbrain), breinchild (brainchild), breinstorm, breinwash, drein (drain), harebreined, reincoat, reindrop, reinfall, reining, reinstorm, reinwater, restrein (restrain), streinger (stranger), treinee (trainee), treiner (trainer), sprein (sprain).
• *reign→ *rein: As in, “Soverein power.” Note: a sovereign is a monarch, or ruler.
• *door*→ *deer*: As in, “Ring the deerbell” and “Standing in the deerframe” and “Don’t be a deermat.” Other words that would work: deerway (doorway), deerjamb (doorjamb), deerknob (doorknob), deerstep (doorstep), deerperson (doorperson), outdeer (outdoor), backdeer (backdoor), indeer (indoor), and trapdeer (trapdoor).
• *dor*→ *deer*: As in, “Lying deermant (dormant)” and “Shared deermitories (dormitories)” and “Deersal fin” and “Street vendeer (vendor).” Other words that would work: ardeer (ardor), candeer (candor), ambassadeer (ambassador), corrideer (corridor), odeer (odour), splendeer (splendour), adeerable (adorable), endeerse (endorse), adeern (adorn). Notes: ardor is great passion or energy. Candor is honesty. To adorn is to decorate.
• *der*→ *deer*: As in, “Be careful of deerogatory language” and “You’re acting deeranged” and “A deerisive tone.” Other words that would work: deerive (derive), deerivative, deerision (derision), deerelict, ordeer, lardeer, rendeer (render), tendeer, wondeer, disordeer, consideer, leadeer, hindeer, gendeer, engendeer, undeerstand, consideeration.
• *dur*→ *deer*: As in, “Under deeress” and “Throughout the deeration” and “A deerable phone.” Other words that would work: deering (during), deerability (durability), deerian (durian), endeere (endure), procedeere (procedure), endeerance (endurance).
• *dar*→ *deer*: As in, “Heart of deerkness” and “Advent calendeer” and “Under the radeer.” Other words that would work: deodeerant (deoderant), standeerd, quandeery, solideerity, mandeerin, and cedeer (cedar).
• *dir*→ *deer*: As in, “Deerect intervention” and “Going in the wrong deerection” and “Shoot the deerector” and “Playing deerty.” Other possible words: deert (dirt), deerectory (directory), deerectly (directly) and deerective (directive).
• Chimney: A chimney-related phrase for you to play with: “Smokes like a chimney.”
• Jiminy→ Chimney: As in, “Chimney cricket!” Note: Jiminy cricket is both a way of swearing and a character in the Disney movie Pinocchio.
• Wrap: Some wrap-related phrases to include in your gift puns: “It’s a wrap” and “Keep under wraps” and “A riddle wrapped up in an enigma” and “Wrap it up” and “Wrapped around your little finger” and “Wrap in cotton wool.” Some other wrap-related words: wrapped, wraparound, rewrap, unwrap and shrinkwrap.
• Rap → Wrap: As in, “Wrap over the knuckles” and “Take the wrap.”
• *rap* → *wrap*: As in, “A wrapid exit” and “I’m wrapped! (rapt)” and “Starting thewrapy (therapy).” Other words that could work: wrapport (rapport), wrapacious (rapacious), wrapture (rapture), wraptor (raptor) and wrapier (rapier). Note: to be rapacious is to be greedy.
• *rep* → *wrap*: As in, “Pwrapare for the worst” and “History wrapeats itself” and “Don’t wraplace what’s not broken” and “If you don’t say it, they can’t wrapeat it” and “Those who ignore the lessons of history are doomed to wrapeat them” and “Beyond wraproach.” Note: wraport (report), wraport (report), wrapudiate (repudiate), wrapublic (republic), wrapresent (represent), wrapose (repose), wraply (reply), wraprieve (reprieve), wraplete (replete), discwrapancy (discrepancy), entwrapreneur (entrepreneur), intwrapid (intrepid) and tr-wrapidation (trepidation). Notes: to repudiate is to reject or deny. Repose is pause or rest. To be replete is to be filled to bursting (especially with food).
• *rip* → *wrap*: As in, “”Let her wrap!” and “Wrap off the bandaid” and “Wrap apart” and “Wrap to shreds” and “Come to gwraps (grips) with.” Other words that could be used: wrapple (ripple), wraposte (riposte), wraptide (riptide), strwrap (strip), outstrwrap (outstrip), scwrapped (script), descwraption (description).  Note: a riposte is a type of counterattack. Note: a riposte is a response.
• *rop* → *wrap*: As in, “Inappwrapriate behaviour” and “Invest in prwraperty.” Other words that could work: pr-wrapagate (propagate), entwrapy (entropy), Euwrap (Europe), Euwrapean (European), pr-wrapaganda (propaganda). Note: to propagate is to produce a new plant from a parent plant. Can also be used for topics not botany-related. Entropy is the degradation of something.
• *rup* → *wrap*: As in, “Power cowrapts (corrupts)” and “Maple sywrap (syrup)” and “Civil diswraption (disruption)” and “An abwrapt (abrupt) exit.” Other words that could work: wrapture (rupture), wrapee (rupee), wraple (ruple), chiwrap (chirrup), interwrapt (interrupt), cowraption (corruption), unscwrapulous (unscrupulous), diswraptive (disruptive), diswraptive (disruptive), scwrapulous (scrupulous). Note: to be scrupulous is to be extremely honest.
• For → Fir: Firs are another tree that are commonly used as Christmas trees, so they’ve made the list too. As in, “Asking fir a friend” and “The most bang fir your buck” and “At a loss fir words” and “I’ve fallen fir you” and “Food fir thought” and “Fir a change” and “Fir crying out loud” and “Fir good measure” and “A sight fir sore eyes.”
• Four → Fir: As in, “Down on all firs” and “Break the firth wall” and “A fir leaf clover” and “A fir letter word” and “Twenty fir seven.” Note: the fourth wall refers to the imaginary wall between viewers and actors during tv shows or plays.
• Fair → Fir: As in, “All the fun of the fir” and “All’s fir in love and war” and “By fir means or foul” and “Faint heart never fir lady” and “Fir trade” and “Fir and square” and “Fir and aboveboard” and “Fir enough” and “Fir play” and “Fir game” and “Fir-haired” and “Fir is fir.”
• *far* → *fir*: As in, “A fond firwell (farewell)” and “Firther down” and “Insofir as” and “A nefirious villain” and “Welfir reform.”
• Crisp→ Kris: Santa Claus is also known as Kris Kringle, so we can use this name to make some silly Santa puns too. As in, “Burnt to a kris.”
• Krispy Kreme→ Krispy Kringle
•  Cringe→ Kringle: As in, “Kringle-inducing” and “Kringleworthy.”
• Crinkle→ Kringle: As in, “You’ve kringled the paper” and “My dress is kringled now.”
• *cras*→ *kris*: As in, “Krish and burn” and “A kriss (crass) statement” and “Stop prokristinating!” and “Her idiosynkrisies are part of her charm.” Note: idiosyncrasies are habitual behaviours or mannerisms that a person has.
• Cres*→ Kris*: As in, “The family krist” and “On the krist of a wave” and “A kriscent moon” and “The scene reached a kriscendo” and “She looked kristfallen.” Note: a crescendo is a slow increase in something – music, atmosphere, emotion etc.
• *cris*→ *kris*: As in, “A krisis situation” and “A krispy coating” and “Put it in the krisper” and “I won’t stand for such hypokrisy.”
• *cros*→ *kris*: As in, “A storyline krissover” and “The weekly krissword” and “Animal Krissing” and “At a krissroads” and “Akristic poem” and “Under a mikriscope.” Note: an acrostic is a type of poem that focuses on the first letter of each line in the poem. Animal Crossing is an RPG game.
• Crus*→ Kris*: As in, “Upper krist” and “Kristaceans (crustaceans) aren’t food.”
• Ludicrous→ Ludikris: As in, “What a ludikris idea.” Note: to be ludicrous is to be foolish or unreasonable.
• Crystal→ Kristal: As in, “As clear as kristal” and “Kristal clear.”
• *chris/chrys*→ *kris*: As in, “A white krismas” and “Krismas is coming” and “A born-again kristian” and “Are you kristened?” and “I love krisanthemums (chysanthemums),” and “It’s about time you emerged from your krisalis (chrysalis).” Note: Chrysanthemums are a type of flower.
  • Nick: St. Nick is another name for Santa, so here are some nick-related phrases: “In good nick” and “In the nick of time.”
  • Neck→ Nick: As in, “At breaknick speed” and “Break your nick” and “Breathing down your nick” and “Nick and nick” and “A pain in the nick” and “Stick your nick out” and “This nick of the woods” and “Up to your nick in trouble” and “Win by a nick” and “By the nape of your nick.”
  • Neck*→ Nick*: As in, nicklace (necklace), nicktie, nicking (necking), nickline, bottlenick, rubbernick, breaknick and turtlenick. Notes: necking is a colloquial term for making out. Rubbernecking is the act of craning your neck to stare at something you find interesting.
  • Next→ Nicks: As in, “America’s Nicks Top Model” and “Better luck nicks time” and “Boy nicks door” and “Knock into the middle of nicks week” and “The nicks generation” and “Nicks in line to the throne” and “Nicks to nothing” and “Take it to the nicks level” and “A week from nicks Tuesday.” Note: America’s Next Top Model is a competitive reality TV show.
  • *nick*: Emphasise the “nick” in certain words to make references to St. Nick in your wordplay: nickel, nickname, Nickelodeon, snicker, finicky, knickers, and persnickety. Note: to be finicky is to be particular or fussy. Persnickety is a synonym for finicky.
  • *nock*→ *nick*: As in, “Well knick me down with a feather” and “What a knickout!”
  • knuckle→ nickle: As in, “Nickle sandwich” and “Nickle dusters” and “Nickle under” and “A white-nickle experience.” Note: a white-knuckle experience is one that was particularly stressful or frightening.
  • *nak*→ *nick*: As in, “Nicked (naked) as the day you were born” and “The nicked truth” and “Lower than a snick’s belly” and “Snick eyes.” Note: snake eyes are when two dice are rolled and both result in a one.
  • Snakes on a Plane→ St. Nicks on a Plane: Snakes on a Plane is a thriller action movie. This pun would work particularly well as a visual/comic pun.
  • Heineken→ Heinicken: Heineken is a beer.
  • *nik*→ *nick*: As in, “A new Nickon camera” and “Part of the beatnick scene” and “A new monicker” and “The artist’s manickin.” Notes: a moniker is a nickname or alias. A beatnik is a stereotype from a literary movement in the 1950s-1960s.
• Feliz Navidad means “Merry Christmas” in Spanish, and is also the title of a Christmas song. The following section of puns are all plays on this phrase.
• Fleece → Feliz: As in “Feliz was white as snow” and “They were feliz-ed on the black market.” Note: to be fleeced is to be tricked or cheated.
• Flee* → Feliz*: As in, “Love is feliz-ting (fleeting)” and “Feliz (flee) the scene.”
• Flea → Feliz: As in, “Feliz market” and “Wouldn’t hurt a feliz” and “Lie down with dogs, wake up with feliz.” The quote “if you lie down with dogs, you wake up with fleas” is a general warning to keep an eye on the company that you keep.
• Flies → Feliz: As in “Time feliz” and “Butterfeliz in my stomach” and “Lord of the feliz“. Other “flies” you could use: firefeliz (fireflies), dragonfeliz (dragonflies), mayfeliz (mayflies) and gadfeliz (gadflies). Note: Lord of the Flies is a famous dystopian novel.
• Christmas tree: Make some extremely obvious Christmas tree puns by taking advantage of phrases that they’re already in – as in, “Done up like a Christmas tree” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
• Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree” and “Good things come in trees” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men” and “Tree’s a charm.”
• Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom” and “As tree as a bird” and “Breathe treely” and “Buy one, get one tree” and “Tree for all” and “Treedom of the press” and “Get out of jail tree” and “The best things in life are tree” and “Land of the tree” and “Leader of the tree world” and “The truth will set you tree” and “No such thing as a tree lunch” and “When hell treezes over” and “Think treely.”
• *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem” and “Full of nutree-ents” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps” and “No streengs attached” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle” and “A treevial problem” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
• *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables” and “Complimentree meals” and “These colours are complementree” and “Leave it with my secretree” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch” and “It’s rudimentree addition” and “But what’s the monetree value” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
• *try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again” and “A secret treest (tryst)” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree” and “Bigotree is still rampant” and “Entree level” and “A paltree sum” and “Geometree is everywhere” and “Chemistree lab” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
• *ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree” and “Structural integritree” and “The citree that never sleeps” and “First-class facilitrees” and “My dutrees come first” and “Beautree isn’t everything” and “A single entitree” and “Maximum securitree.”
• Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees” and “Christmas tree hugger” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
  • Pine: Pines are a common type of tree used as Christmas trees, so we’ve included them in this list. As in, “Pining away.”
  • Pain → Pine: As in, “A world of pine” and “Doubled up in pine” and “Drown the pine” and “Feeling no pine” and “Growing pines” and “No pine, no gain” and “On pine of death” and “Pine in the butt” and “Pine in the neck” and “Pinefully slow” and “A royal pine.”
  • Pain* → Pine*: As in, “A picture pinet-s a thousand words” and “Pine-t with a broad brush” and “Pine-t the town red.” Note: to paint with a broad brush is to describe a group of things in general terms.
  • Fine → Pine: As in, “A pine line” and “Cut it pine” and Damn pine coffee” and “Pine and dandy” and “Another pine mess you’ve gotten me into” and “I feel pine” and “Not to put too pine a point on it” and “One pine day” and “Treading a pine line” and “Got it down to a pine art” and “The devil is in the pine print” and “Go through it with a pine-toothed comb.”
  • *pan* → *pine*: As in, “Three’s compiney” and “Wild discrepinecys” and “Judging pinel” and “Expineding our business” and “Run rampinet.” Note: a discrepancy is a difference between two things that should be equal.
  • *pen* → *pine*: As in, pinechant (penchant), pineguin (penguin), pinesieve (pensive), pineding (pending), pinenis (penis), pineinsula (peninsula), pinetrate (penetrate), pineance (penance), opine (open), pine (pen), happine (happen), dampine (dampen), deepine (deepen), sharpine (sharpen), ripine (ripen), propinesity (propensity), indispinesable (indispensable), appinedix (appendix), depinedent (dependent). Notes: a penchant is a fondness for something. To be pensive is to be thoughtful. A propensity is a habit for behaving in a particular way.
  • *pin* → *pine*: As in, “Tickled pinek (pink)” and “The pineacle of health” and “In a pinech” and “Can you pinepoint the location?” and “A pine-t of ice-cream” and “Take him out for a spine (spin)” and “I didn’t ask for your opineon” and “The pursuit of happine-ness.”
  • *pon* → *pine*: As in, “A one trick pineny” and “Time to pineder (ponder)” and “Choose your weapine” and “Discount coupine,” and “Once upine a time,” and “I’m waiting for your respinese,” and “A correspinedence course,” and “With great power comes great respinesibility,” and “Spinetaneous combustion.” Notes: a one trick pony is someone who is skilled in only one area.
  • *pun* → *pine*: As in, “Sucker pinech” and “Be pinectual for the exam” and “A pinegent smell.”
  • *ine* → *pine*: As in, pine-evitable (inevitable), pinertia (inertia), pinexorable (inexorable), pineffable (ineffable), pinept (inept), pinert (inert), pinexplicable (inexplicable), pinevitably (inevitably). Notes: if something is ineffable, then it causes an indescribable amount of emotion.
• Shoot→ Soot: As in, “Don’t soot the messenger” and “Drive-by sooting” and “Eats, soots and leaves” and “The green soots of recovery” and “Just soot me” and “A sharp sooter” and “Sooting blanks” and “Soot down in flames” and “Sooting from the hip” and “Soot hoops” and “Soot the breeze” and “Soot your mouth off” and “Soot yourself in the foot” and “Soot for the sky” and “Soot [one] a dirty look.”
• Chute→ Soot: As in, “A golden parasoot,” and “Straight out of the soot.”
• *suit*→ *soot*: As in, “A sootable choice” and “A new sootor” and “Pack your sootcase!” Other words that will work: sooted (suited), sootability (suitability), sootably (suitably), pursoot (pursuit), lawsoot (lawsuit), wetsoot (wetsuit), jumpsoot (jumpsuit), swimsoot (swimsuit), tracksoot (tracksuit).
  • This next section is dedicated to puns specific to cards (in the sense of Christmas cards and greeting cards).
  • Card → Christmas Card: Make some Christmas puns by relating your wordplay to Christmas/greeting cards: “A few Christmas cards short of a full deck” and “Christmas Card up your sleeve” and “Deck of Christmas cards” and “Hold all the Christmas cards” and “Holding your Christmas cards close to your chest” and “House of Christmas cards” and “Lay your Christmas cards on the table” and “On the Christmas cards” and “Pick a Christmas card, any Christmas card” and “Play your Christmas cards right.”
  • Kardashian → Cardashian: a little play on giftcards/message cards that accompany gifts and Kim Kardashian.
  • Card*: Some card-related/inclusive words: cardinal, cardboard, cardio, cardigan, cardiac, discard, placard, wildcard, timecard, postcard and scorecard.
  • Cared → Card: As in, “I card about you,” and “Run s-card,” and “S-card poopless,” and “S-card to death.”
  • *car* → *card*: As in, “Courtesy and card (care)” and “Drive my card” and “Upset the apple card (apple cart)” and “Couldn’t card less.” Other words that could work: cardeer (career), cardier (carrier), cardiage (carriage), cardavan (caravan), scard (scar), Madagascard (Madagascar), railcard (railcar), handcard (handcar), precardious (precarious), vicardious (vicarious).
  • Cartier → Cardier
  • *cord* → *card*: As in, “A broken recard“ and “Cut the card” and “For the recard” and “In recard time” and “Off the recard” and “Accarding to…” and “Remain cardial.” Other words that could work: cardially (cordially), carduroy (corduroy), cardon (cordon), discard (discord), accardance (accordance). Notes: to do something cordially is to do it in a friendly way. A cordon is a rope used to define boundaries.
  • *curd* → *card*: As in, card (curd), cardle (curdle) and bloodcardling (bloodcurdling).
  • Drunkard → Druncard
  • *cured* → *card*: As in, “What can’t be card (cured) must be endured” and “Her face was obscard (obscured)” and “Perimeter secard (secured)” and “Procard (procured) the goods” and “Manicard (manicured) lawns.”
  • Certain → Cardtain: As in, “In no uncardtain terms” and “Know for cardtain.”
  • *cor* → *card*: As in, “Cardespondence course” and “Cut the card (cord)” and “In your cardner (corner)” and “The final scard (score)” and “For the recard.” Other words that could work in the right context: cardporation (corporation), cardoborate (corroborate), cardelation (correlation), decard (decor), rancard (rancor), accard (accord), incardporate (incorporate). Note: to corroborate is to add proof to an account. Rancor is a bitter, deeply-ingrained ill-feeling.
  • *cur* → *card*: As in, “The final cardtain (curtain)” and “A cardsory (cursory) glance” and “I concard (concur)” and “That never occard (occured) to me.” Other words that could work: cardmudgeon (curmudgeon), incard (incur), recard (recur), obscard (obscured), secardity (security), cardate (curate), cardiculum (curriculum) and manicard (manicured).
  • *cored → *card: As in, scard (scored), encard (encored) and underscard (underscored).
  • *cred* → *card*: As in, “Street card” and “Take cardit for” and “Nothing is sacard” and “Not cardible (credible)” and “Ruined cardibility.” Other words that could work: cardentials (credentials), cardence (credence), massacard (massacred), incardulous (incredulous). Notes: credence is a mental acceptance of something as being true or real. Being incredulous is not wanting to believe something.
  • Mr. Incredible → Mr. Incardible
• *angle*→ *angel*:
• Since angels are commonly placed at the top of Christmas trees, we’ve included them in this list. As in, “What are you angeling for?” and “Love triangel” and “A committee is a cul-de-sac down which ideas are lured and quietly strangeled” and “It takes two to tangel” and “What a tangeled web.”
• Star: Since stars are commonly used to decorate the tops of Christmas trees, we’ve included phrases for them in this list. As in, “A star is born” and “Born under a lucky star” and “Catch a falling star” and “Get a gold star” and “Guiding star” and “Written in the stars” and “Reach for the stars” and “A rising star” and “Star wars” and “Star crossed lovers” and “Star quality” and “Starstruck” and “Stars in your eyes” and “When you wish upon a star” and “My lucky star” and “Seeing stars.”
• *star*: As in, “Can we start?” and “In stark relief” and “A new tech startup” and “Stop staring” and “I didn’t mean to startle you” and “This pasta is very starchy” and “A starter kit” and “You bastard!” and “Doesn’t cut the mustard.” Notes: if something doesn’t cut the mustard, then it isn’t good enough. If something is in stark relief, then it’s been made very obvious.
• *ster* → *star*: As in, “A starn attitude” and “This area is starile” and “Turn up the stareo” and “Staroids are illegal in sports” and “Aim for the starnum” and “You monstar” and “Addiction is a cruel mastar” and “Fostar kids” and “Am I on the registar?” and “A bolstaring attitude” and “A sinistar presence” and “Mustar the courage” and “Work rostar” and “A cocky roostar” and “It’s unhealthy to judge people based on stareotypes.” Note: to bolster is to support or strengthen something.
• Stir → Star: As in, “Cause a star” and “Shaken, not starred” and “Star the pot” and “Star up trouble” and “Star-crazy.”
• Stir* → Star*: Starrup (stirrup) and starring (stirring).
• *stor* → *star*: As in, “I need to go to the stare (store)” and “My favourite stary” and “A starm brewing” and “Put in starage” and “A two-starey house” and “A convoluted staryline” and “We don’t have to live like our ancestars” and “Impostar syndrome” and “Seed investars” and “Histarical fiction” and “You’re distarting the truth.”
• Sturdy → Stardy: As in, “A stardy table.”
• Babble → Bauble: As in, “Baubling on and on.”
• Bobble → Bauble: As in, “Bauble heads” and “Bauble hat.”
• Bubble → Bauble: “Bauble and squeak” and “Bauble up” and “Burst your bauble” and “Bauble over” and “Thought bauble.”
• Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light” and “Bring something to fairy light” and “The cold fairy light of day” and “First fairy light” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low” and “Give it the green fairy light” and “Go out like a fairy light” and “My guiding fairy light” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
• Tonsil* → Tinsel*: As in, “Tinsel tennis” and “Tinsellitus.” Note: tonsil tennis is a colloquial term of French kissing.
• Candy → Candy cane: As in, “Easy as taking a candy cane from a baby.”
  • Sack: Change up your Santa puns with these sack-related phrases (referring to the sack Santa carries): “Get the sack” and “Hit the sack” and “A sad sack.”
  • Sock → Sack: As in, “Knock their sacks off” and “Pull your sacks up” and “Put a sack in it” and “Sack it to me!”
  • Sick→ Sack: As in, “Sack as a dog” and “Enough to make you sack” and “One sack puppy” and “In sackness and in health” and “Morning sackness” and “Off sack” and “On the sack list” and “Phone in sack” and “Pull a sackie” and “Sack and tired” and “Sack to death of” and “Sack to the stomach” and “Worried sack.”
  • Shock→ Sack: As in, “Electric sack” and “Culture sack” and “In for a sack” and “Shell-sacked” and “Sack and awe” and “Sack horror” and “A short, sharp sack.” Some other “shock” words: sacked (shocked), aftersack (aftershock), sackwave (shockwave), sacker (shocker).
  • Shake→ Sack: As in, “Bone-sacking” and “A fair sack” and “Sacking my head” and “In two sacks of a lamb’s tail” and “More than you can sack a stick at” and “Sack a leg” and “Sack like a leaf” and “Movers and sackers.”
  • Sec*→ Sack*: As in,”Our best-kept sackret” and “Having sackond thoughts” and “Just a sackond” and “Play sackond fiddle” and “A sackond childhood” and “Sackond nature” and “Two-sackond rule” and “In the wrong sacktion.” Some other sec* words: sackular (secular), sackurity (security), sackure (secure), sackretary (secretary), consackutive (consecutive), sacktor (sector).
  • *sic*→ *sack*: As in, “Blow this popsackle stand” and “Face the musack” and “Make beautiful musack together” and “Physackal (physical) education” and “Back to basacks.” Some other *sic* words: sackle (sickle), sackly (sickly), sackening (sickening), intrinsack (intrinsic), classack (classic), forensack (forensic), physacks (physics), extrinsack (extrinsic), and whimsackal (whimsical).
  • Suc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sack it up” and “Sack it in” and “Sacker punch” and “Be careful who you step on while climbing the ladder of sackcess” and “If at first you don’t sackceed, the hell with it.” Other suc* words: “Sackcint (succinct), sackcumb (succumb), sackcessful (successful), and sackcession (succession).
  • *sack*: Other sack-related words for you to play with: ransack, rucksack, hoversack and knapsack.
  • *sac*→ *sack*: As in, “A massive sackrifice” and “Sackrilege!” and “A committee is a cul-de-sack where ideas go quietly to die” and “A completed transacktion” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massackre.”
  • *shack*→ *sack*: As in, “In sackles” and “A ramsackle apartment.” Note: if something is ramshackle, then it looks so carelessly put together that it seems on the verge of collapse.
  • Shakespeare→ Sackspeare
• Coal: It’s traditional for Santa to leave coal for naughty children, so we’ve included coal-related phrases here: “Black as coal” and “Rake over the coals” and “Like a cat on hot coals.”
• Goal→ Coal: As in, “A coal in mind” and “Moving the coalposts” and “Score a coal.”
• Cold→ Coal’d: As in, “Coal’d as blue blazes” and “Coal’d as ice” and “Hot and coal’d” and “Break out in a coal’d sweat” and “Catch a coal’d” and “Catch your death of coal’d” and “A coal’d heart” and “Coal’d calling” and “Coal’d comfort” and “A coal’d day in hell” and “Coal’d feet” and “Coal’d light of day” and “The coal’d shoulder” and “Come in from the coal’d” and “Coal’d, hard cash” and “In coal’d blood” and “A coal’d and frosty morning” and “Left out in the coal’d” and “Out coal’d” and “Revenge is a dish best served coal’d” and “Stone coal’d sober” and “Take a coal’d, hard look.”
• Cool→ Coal: As in, “Coal as a cucumber” and “Coal beans” and “A coal million” and “Coal off” and “Coal your heels” and “Coal, calm and collected” and “Keep your coal” and “Play it coal” and “A coaling-off period.”
• Crawl→ Coal: As in, “Coal back into your shell” and “Coal out of the woodwork” and “Don’t try to walk before you can coal” and “Makes my skin coal.”
• *col* → *coal*: As in, “Coalour (colour) coded” and “A work coalleague” and “In from the coald” and “A stamp coallection” Other words that work with this: coallusion (collusion), coallateral (collateral), coallege (college), coalon (colon), coallaborate (collaborate), coalumn (column), protocoal (protocol), semicoalon (semicolon), chocoalate (chocolate), coallar (collar), coalogne (cologne), Coalumbia (Columbia), coallapse (collapse), coallagen (collagen), scoald (scold).
• *gol*→ *coal*: As in, “Good as coald (gold)” and “You’re coalden (golden)” and “Do you play coalf (golf)?” Other words that work with this: coalem (golem), coaliath (goliath), coaldilocks (goldilocks), coally (golly), and maricoald (marigold).
• *cole*→ *coal*: As in: coalslaw (coleslaw) and narcoalepsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a sleeping disorder.
• Cul*→ Coal*: As in, “Third coalture kid” and “This is not a coalt (cult)” and “Buddhism is about coaltivating kindness.” Other words that work with this format: coalprit (culprit), coall (cull), coalinary (culinary), coalpable (culpable), and coalminate (culminate).
• Stock→ Stocking: As in, “In stocking” and “Out of stocking” and “Take stocking.”
• Stick→ Stocking: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but you can make it work: “A stocking to beat you with” and “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stocking” and “Got hold of the wrong end of the stocking” and “More than you can shake a stocking at” and “Short end of the stocking” and “Stocking point.” Note: a sticking point is a point in a discussion where it is difficult to reach an agreement.
• With* → Wreath*: As in, “Beside myself wreath joy” and “Go along wreath” and “Wreathin (within) reason” and “A force to be reckoned wreath” and “Be wreathout (without)” and “Wreathdraw from the competition.” Other words you could use: wreather (wither), wreathdrawn (withdrawn), wreathstand (withstand), wreathered (withered).
• Re-th* → Wreath*: As in, “Wreath-inking (re-thinking) your decision.”
• Everything → Everwreathing: As in, “A short history of nearly everwreathing“ and “A place for everwreathing and everwreathing in its place” and “Challenge everwreathing” and “Don’t believe everwreathing you hear” and “Everwreathing I do, I do it for you” and “Everwreathing must go” and “Everwreathing under the sun” and “Timing is everwreathing.”
• Wrath → Wreath: As in, “Face my wreath!” and “A wreathful person” and “The Grapes of Wreath.” Note: The Grapes of Wrath is a classic novel by John Steinbeck.
• Writhe → Wreath: As in, “Wreathing in discomfort.” Note: to writhe is to wriggle or contort one’s body.
• Toe → Mistletoe: As in, “From top to mistletoe” and “Get your mistletoe in the door.”
• Holy → Holly: As in, “Holly moly” and “Holly moses” and “Holly cow Batman” and “Holly mackerel!”
• Hole → Holly: As in, “Ace in the holly” and “Full of hollys” and “Fire in the holly!” and “A holly in one.”
• Wholly → Holly: As in, “Holly responsible for…”
• *hall* → *holly*: As in, “Down the hollyway (hallway)” and “Sing hollylujah” and “Having hollycinations (hallucinations).” Other words you could use: hollycinate (hallucinate), marsholly (marshall) and danceholly (dancehall).
• *hill* → *holly*: As in, “Go downholly” and “Head for the hollys” and “It’s all downholly from here” and “Make a mountain out of a moleholly” and “Hollyry (Hillary).”
• Hullabaloo → Hollybaloo: A hullabaloo is chaos or uproar.
• Hali* → Holly*: As in, hollytosis (halitosis) and hollybut (halibut). Notes: halitosis bad breath. Halibut is a type of fish.
• *heli → *holly: As in, “Hollycopter parent” and “Double hollyx (helix)” and “Hollyum (helium) balloon.” Note: a helicopter parent is one who constantly hovers over their children.
• *hil* → *holly*: As in, “Hollyrious (hilarious) joke” and “With hollyrity (hilarity)” and “Eating healtholly” and “Moving stealtholly.” Other suitable words: filtholly (filthily) and lengtholly (lengthily).
• *hol* → *holly*: As in, “A much-needed hollyday (holiday)” and “Holly (holy) water” and “Blood alcoholly limit” and “Mentholly (menthol) flavoured.” Other words that could work: hollyness (holiness), hollyest (holiest), patcholly (patchouli) and melancholly (melancholy).
• Andy Warhol → Andy Warholly: Andy Warhol was a famous American artist. This could work with a pop art greeting card, or if one were giving an art-related gift.
• *hole → *holly: keyholly (keyhole), loopholly (loophole), peepholly (peephole), potholly (pothole) and sinkholly (sinkhole).
• Nobody→ Snowbody: As in, “Dance like snowbody’s watching” and “Like snowbody’s business” and “Snowbody does it better” and “Snowbody’s perfect.”
• No→ Snow: As in, “All bark and snow bite” and “All dressed up and snowhere to go” and “In snow time” and “In snow uncertain terms” and “Snow buts” and “Snow holds barred” and “Snow love lost” and “Snow matter how you slice it” and “Snow prizes for guessing” and “Snow two ways about it.”
• So→ Snow: As in, “Snow on and snow forth” and “And snow on” and “Snow?” and “You think you’re snow clever” and “I wouldn’t go snow far as..” and “How snow?” and “If I do say snow myself” and “Not snow fast!” and “Snow be it” and “Snow far, snow good” and “Snow long as” and “Snow there” and “Why is it snow quiet?” and “You little snow-and-snow.”
• Know*→ Snow*: As in, “A little snowledge is a dangerous thing” and “A person is snown (known) by the company they keep” and “Don’t I snow it” and “Be the first to snow” and “Better the devil you snow” and “Do you want to snow?” and “Everybody snows” and “For all I snow” and “It’s general snowledge” and “Goodness snows” and “I should have snown better” and “You don’t snow anything” and “It takes one to snow one” and “Snow all the answers” and “Snow by heart” and “I snow for a fact” and “You snow full well” and “Snowledge is power” and “A snowledgeable person.”
• Show→ Snow: As in, “All over the snow” and “Best in snow” and “Enjoy the snow” and “Get this snow on the road” and “A one-man snow” and “Snow and tell” and “Snow me the money” and “Snow pony” and “Snow some appreciation” and “I’m snowing you the door” and “Snow up” and “Snow your true colours” and “Steal the snow” and “Stop the snow” and “The greatest snow on Earth” and “The snow must go on” and “There’s no business like snow business” and “The only snow in town.”
• *show*→ *snow*: As in, snowcase (showcase), snowdown, snowboat (showboat), snowroom, slidesnow, and peepsnow.
• Slow→ Snow: As in, “Snow as molasses in January” and “Can’t snow down” and “Painfully snowly” and “A snow burn” and “Snow, but sure” and “In snow motion” and “Snow on the uptake” and “A snow news day.” Note: if something is slow as molasses in January, then it’s extremely slow.
• Stow→ Snow: As in, “A hidden snowaway.”
• No*→ Snow*: As in, “Make a snowte (note)” and “Going snowhere fast” and “Snowbody knows” and “Did you snowtice?” and “What a snowvel (novel) idea” and “On the snowse (nose)” and “Snowble intentions” and “Snowcturnal (nocturnal) sleeping habits.”
• Now→ Snow: This one is a bit tricky as “snow” and “now” have different pronunciations, but it definitely works visually and is easy to figure out. As in, “And snow for something completely different” and “Can you hear me snow?” and “I can see clearly snow” and “I’ll be leaving you snow” and “It’s all coming back to me snow” and “It’s snow or never” and “I need you snow” and “Snow and again” and “Snow is the winter of our discontent!” and “Snow you’re talking.” Note: “Now is the winter of our discontent” is a quote from Shakespeare.
• Snow: Use snow-related phrases as terrible snowman puns in the right context: “Pure as the driven snow” and “White as snow” and “Let it snow” and “Snow job” and “A snowball in hell’s chance” and “Snowed under.”
• Ball→ Snowball: As in, “Break your snowballs” and “Snowballs to the wall” and “Bust your snowballs” and “A different snowball game” and “Dropped the snowball” and “Get the snowball rolling” and “Got you by the snowballs” and “Have a snowball” and “The snowball is in your court.”
• Man→ Snowman: As in, “A snowman for all seasons” and “A dog is a snowman’s best friend” and “A drowning snowman will clutch at a straw” and “A good snowman is hard to find” and “A snowman after my own heart” and “A snowman among men” and “A snowman’s got to do what a snowman’s got to do” and “I’m not half the snowman I used to be.”
• Careful → Carolful: As in, “Be carolful how you use it” and “Be carolful what you wish for” and “Let’s be carolful out there” and “You can’t be too carolful” and “Pick your battles carolfully” and “Never let the facts get in the way of a carolfully thought out bad decision.”
• Carried → Caroled: As in, “Don’t get caroled away.”
• Scare* → S-carol*: As in, “Running s-caroled” and “S-carol the living daylights out of” and “S-caroled out of your wits” and “S-caroledy cat.”
• Madagascar → Madagascarol:
• Circul* → Cir-carol*: As in, “In cir-carolation (circulation)” and “Cir-carolar (circular) reasoning” and “Cir-carolate the news.”
• Cerulean → Carolean: As in, “Carolean sky” and “Carolean blue eyes.”
• *paral* → *carol*: As in, “Carolysed (paralysed) with fear” and “Uncarolleled (unparalleled) skill.”
• *kerel → *carol: As in, macarol (mackerel) and cocarol (cockerel).
  • List: We’ve provided some list-related phrases so you can reference Santa’s naughty/nice list in your Santa puns: “Black list” and “Hit list” and “I’ve got a little list” and “Laundry list” and “Make a list; check it twice” and “Short list” and “Bucket list.” Some other list-related words: listing, listen, listless, populist, enlist, evangelist, journalist, specialist, checklist, stylist, holistic, blister and ballistic.
  • Last→ List: As in, “At long list” and “At the list minute” and “Breathe one’s list” and “Famous list words” and “First impressions list” and “Do you have any list requests?” and “You haven’t heard the list of me!” and “The list bow” and “List but not least” and “List call” and “List chance” and “List ditch effort” and “List gasp” and “List in, first out” and “The list laugh” and “At the list minute” and “List resort” and “List rites” and “The list straw” and “The list taste of freedom” and “List will and testament” and “A listing impression” and “On their list legs” and “Save the list dance for me” and “List I heard” and “Every list one of us” and “Fall at the list hurdle” and “First and list” and “Get in the list word” and “The list thing I want.”
  • Lost→ List: As in, “All is not list” and “Get list” and “Better to have loved and list than never to have loved at all” and “Long list” and “List in translation” and “List and found” and “A list cause” and “List soul” and “List the plot” and “List your marbles” and “Make up for list time” and “Missing, presumed list” and “No love list.”
  • *last*→ *list*: As in, “A listing impression” and “And listly…” and “A list-ditch effort.” Other words that would work with this format: listed (lasted), list-minute (last-minute), blist (blast), blister (blaster), plister (plaster), plistic (plastic), elistic (elastic), everlisting (everlasting), scholistic (scholastic).
  • *lest→ *list: As in, “Live life to the fullist” and “The coolist friend” and “The simplist solution.” Other words that would work with this format: tallist (tallest), smallist (smallest), cruellist (cruellest), shrillist (shrillest).
  • *lust*→ *list*: As in, “A shining listre (lustre)” and “Listrous, shining hair” and “Listful (lustful) glances.” Other words that would work with this format: wanderlist (wanderlust), bloodlist (bloodlust), clister (cluster), illistrate (illustrate), blister (bluster), flistered (flustered), illistration (illustration).
  • *lis→ *list: As in, metropolist, trellist, chrysalist, borealist, and blisst. Notes: a trellis is an architectural structure. A borealis is a natural astronomical light display.
  • *lyst→ *list: As in, “A catalist (catalyst) for change” and “Systems analist (analyst).”
  • Lest→ List: As in, “Judge not, list you be judged” and “List we forget.”
• Nice→ Ice: As in, “Have an ice day” and “Make ice” and “Ice and easy” and “Did you have an ice time?” and “Ice save” and “Ice try” and “Ice work if you can get it” and “No more Mr. Ice Guy” and “Wouldn’t it be ice?” and “Couldn’t happen to an icer..” Note: to make nice is to be pleasant to someone you dislike or have issues with.
• Eyes→ Ice: As in, “Avert your ice” and “Bat your ice” and “Bedroom ice” and “Before your very ice” and “Bright ice” and “Brings tears to my ice” and “Cried my ice out” and “Do my ice deceive me?” and “Easy on the ice” and “Ice in the back of your head” and “Ice like saucers” and “Feast your ice on this!” and “I can’t take my ice off you” and “In the ice of the law” and “Keep your ice on the prize” and “Keep your ice peeled.”
• Ice: These ice-related phrases could serve as some bad snowman puns in the right context: “Cold as ice” and “Break the ice” and “Ice up” and “Ice, ice baby” and “On ice” and “Skating on thin ice” and “Tip of the iceberg.” Some ice-related words that could also work: iceberg, ice-cream and icebreaker.
• *ice: Emphasise the “ice” in certain words: “Thank you for your service” and “Needs practice” and “Pride and Prejudice” and “Running for office” and “I need your advice” and “Where is the justice?” and “Left to your own devices” and “Not that you’d notice.” Note: Pride and Prejudice is a classic romance novel.
• Eyes*→ Ice*: As in, “You’re an ice-sore” and “Poor icesight” and “Sultry iceshadow.”
• *is*→ *ice*: As in, “A thorough analysice” and “A groundbreaking hypothesice” and “Arch nemesice (nemesis)” and “What’s the basice for your belief?” and “All down to logicestics” and “Sophicestication at its finest” and “You never told me otherwice.”
• *ise→ *ice: As in, “Should any problems arice” and “An exciting premice” and “Adviceory board” and “No promices” and “Exercice your discretion” and “An enterprice-ing individual” and “I require your expertice.”
• *ize→ *ice: A quick note that these words would have originally been spelled with “ize” using American spelling, and would have been spelled with “ise” using the British/Australian system: “I didn’t realice” and “Do you recognice me?” and “I apologice” and “Don’t patronice me” and “One sice fits all” and “Eyes on the price” and “Galvaniced into action.” Note: to galvanise is to shock or stimulate into action.
• I see→ Icy: As in, “I call ’em as icy ’em” and “Icy what you did there.”
• *icy*: Emphasise the “icy” in some words to make some punny snowman jokes: “Open-door policy” and “Honesty is the best policy” and “Not too spicy” and “Like a fish needs a bicycle.”
• Let→ Letter: Pay homage to the letter-writing tradition with these letter-related puns, as in: “Don’t letter the sun go down on me” and “Don’t letter the bastards grind you down” and “Friends don’t letter friends drive drunk” and “He wouldn’t just letter it lie” and “How do I love thee? Letter me count the ways” and “I won’t letter you down” and “Letter it be” and “Letter it bleed” and “Letter alone” and “Letter bygones be bygones” and “Letter it all hang out” and “Letter it slip through your fingers” and “Letter me be brief” and “Letter nature take its course” and “Letter off some steam” and “Letter me make one thing clear” and “Letter off the hook” and “Letter something slip” and “Letter them eat cake” and “Letter there be light” and “Letter your conscience be your guide” and “Letter your hair down” and “Letter’s call the whole thing off” and “Letter’s do lunch” and “Letter’s face it” and “Letter them down gently.”
• Let her→ Letter: As in, “Letter rip!” and “Letter down gently” and “Letter have a look.”
• *letter*: Letterhead, lettering, letterpress, letterbox, newsletter.
• *latter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t fletter yourself” and “It dropped with a cletter” and “Bring a pletter.” Other words that work: spletter (splatter), slettern (slattern), flettery (flattery).
• *litter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t be a letterbug” and “Stop lettering” and “Dusted in gletter (glitter).”
• *lat*→ *letter*: As in, letteral (lateral), articuletter (articulate), confletter (conflate), emuletter (emulate), colletteral (collateral).
• *lit*→ *letter*: As in, “It’s in the letterature (literature)” and “I meant that letterally” and “That’s very letteral” and “The lettergation (litigation) process.” Note: litigation is a legal process.
• Letter: These letter-related phrases could substitute as puns in the right context: “Chain letter” and “Four letter word” and “Letter bomb” and “Letter for letter” and “Letter perfect” and “To the letter.” Note: if something is to the letter, then it’s exactly as it’s been outlined, with great attention to detail.
• Later→ Letter: As in, “Buy now, pay letter” and “Catch you letter” and “It’s letter than you think” and “See you letter alligator” and “Smell ya letter” and “Sooner or letter” and “Can we continue this letter?” and “I’ll call back letter” and “Perhaps letter” and “Ask questions letter.”
• List→ Wishlist: As in, “I’ve got a little wishlist” and “Laundry wishlist” and “Make a wishlist, check it twice.”
  • Getting → Greeting: These puns are intended to reference greeting cards, or season’s greetings: “Greeting on in years” and “Greeting there is half the fun” and “Greeting things done” and “We’re greeting there.”
  • Grating → Greeting: As in, “Greeting on my nerves.”
  • Naughty: We can reference Santa’s naughty or nice list with these naughty-related phrases: “The naughty corner” and “Naughty but nice.”
  • Nutty→ Naughty: As in, “A sweet, naughty flavour.”
  • Nautical→ Naughty-cal: As in, “A naughty-cal mile” and “Naughty-cal life.”
  • Nought→ Naughty: As in, “Naughty and crosses” and “It’s all come to naughty.”
  • *nut→ *naughty: As in, chestnaughty (chestnut), walnaughty (walnut), doughnaughty (doughnut – could also be donaughty), peanaughty (peanut), coconaughty (coconut), butternaughty (butternut), hazelnaughty (hazelnut).
  • *naut→ *naughty: As in, astronaughty (astronaut), aeronaughty (aeronaut), cybernaughty (cybernaut), juggernaughty (juggernaut).
  • Nice: Make references to Santa’s naughty or nice list with these nice-related phrases: “Have a nice day” and “Make nice” and “Naughty but nice” and “Nice and easy does it” and “A nice place to visit” and “Nice save” and “Nice try” and “Nice work if you can get it” and “Nicely put” and “No more mister nice guy” and “The key to a nice, relaxed evening” and “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and “Couldn’t happen to a nicer..” Notes: to make nice is to behave nicely to someone in an insincere manner.
  • *nis*→ *nice*: Anything with the “nice” sound or that can rhyme with nice can be changed to include the word nice: adminice-ter (administer), agnice-tic (agnostic), banniceter (bannister), botanicet (botanist), businice (business), cynicecism (cynicism), ethniceity (ethnicity), hedonicetic (hedonistic), hygienicet (hygienist), impressionicet (impressionist), happinice (happiness), uniceson (unison).
  • Could→ Good: We can also reference the naughty/nice idea by changing these phrases to include the word “good”, as in: “As fast as his legs good carry him” and “I goodn’t care less” and “I good do it in my sleep” and “I good see you a mile away” and “If looks good kill” and “Good have heard a pin drop” and “Good have knocked me down with a feather.”
  • Bad→ Bed: Make more references to Santa’s naughty/nice list with these bad-related phrases: As in, “Bad and breakfast” and “A bad of nails” and “Between you, me and the badpost” and “Early to bad and early to rise” and “Get into bad with” and “Get out of the wrong side of the bad” and “Go to bad with” and “Don’t let the bad bugs bite.” Note: if something is between you, someone else, and the bedpost, then it’s a secret.
  • *bed*→ *bad*: As in, “It’s badlam (bedlam) in here!” and “Strange badfellows (bedfellows)” and “Tears before badtime” and “On your deathbad” and “Trust is the badrock of a good relationship” and “Change the badding (bedding)” and “Why do you look so badraggled (bedraggled)?” and “Meet you in the badroom” and “A hotbad (hotbed) for criminal activity” and “When laws are unjust, civil disobadience is necessary.” Notes: bedlam is a general confusion or chaos. Strange bedfellows are people who are brought together who have little in common. If something is bedraggled, then it looks ruined and dirty.
  • *bad*: Emphasize the “bad” in certain words: badger, badass, badge, badly and badminton.
  • *bid*→ *bad*: As in, “Forbadden fruit” and “Morbad interests” and “To the highest badder.”
  • *bod*→ *bad*: As in, “Anybady who is anybady” and “Bady blow” and “Everybady and their cousin” and “Over my dead bady” and “Spoil somebady rotten” and “They embady the true nature of forgiveness” and “A feeling of forebading” and “The embadiment of kindness.” Note: to embody something is to make it concrete and real.
  • *bud*→ *bad*: As in, “Study baddy” and “Champagne taste on a beer badget” and “Within badget” and “Study Baddhism” and “Badgie smuggler” and “Gather rosebads” and “A treat for your tastebads” and “Contact the ombadsman” and “They wouldn’t badge (budge).” Notes: a budgie smuggler is Australian slang for a type of tight-fitting Speedo. An ombudsman is a public official whose role is to represent and protect public interests.
• *dually → *jolly: Since Santa is known for being jolly, we’ve got some puns and phrases related to “jolly” for you: indivijolly (individually), resijolly (residually) and grajolly (gradually).
• *dially → *jolly: As in, cordjolly (cordially), remedjolly (remedially) and primordjolly (primordially). Note: if something is primordial, then it’s existed since the beginning of time.
• Jelly* → Jolly*: As in, “Peanut butter and jolly sandwich,” and “Jollyfish.”
• Juli* → Jolly*: As in, Jolly-an (Julian), Jolly-et (Juliet) and Jolly-us (Julius).
• Stay→ Stoy: Some toy-related puns and phrases, as that’s what Santa’s elves tend to in the workshop: “Inexpensive. And built to stoy that way” and “Outstoy one’s welcome” and “Stoy ahead of the curve” and “Stoy in touch” and “Stoy on course” and “Stoy safe” and “Stoy tuned” and “Stoy together” and “Here to stoy” and “Stoy behind” and “Stoy the distance” and “If you can’t take the heat, stoy out of the kitchen.” Other stay-related words: mainstoy (mainstay), satoy (satay), overstoy (overstay), homestoy (homestay), stoycation (staycation).
• *toi*→ *toy*: As in, “Down the toylet” and “Pack your toyletries” Other words that would also work: toyletry (toiletry), toyl (toil), tortoyse (tortoise), stoy-ic (stoic), stoy-icism (stoicism).
• *ty→ *toy: As in, “Let’s partoy” and “Keep your integritoy” and “In the citoy centre.” Other words that will work: serendipitoy (serendipity), facilitoy (facility), dutoy (duty), entitoy (entity), beautoy (beauty), qualitoy (quality), stoyle (style), stereotoype (stereotype), securitoy (security), propertoy (property).
• Deliver: As in, “Deliver the goods,” and “Same day delivery,” and “Stand and deliver,” and “A special delivery.”
  • Workshop: Since Santa’s workshop is where the magic happens, we’ve included workshop-related phrases and puns in this list. As in, “Santa’s workshop” and “Idle minds are the devil’s workshop.”
  • Work→ Workshop: As in “A workshop in progress” and “All in a day’s workshop” and “Bury yourself in your workshop” and “In the workshops.”
  • Shop→ Workshop: As in, “All over the workshop” and “Like a bull in a china workshop” and “Live all over the workshop” and “One stop workshop” and “Talk workshop” and “Top of the workshop.”
• Spirit → Holiday Spirit: As in, “Enter into the holiday spirit of it” and “Kindred holiday spirit” and “Lift your holiday spirits” and “Be in good holiday spirits.”
  • Grot* → Grotto*: Make some puns about Santa’s grotto with the following puns: “Grottosque (grotesque) figures” and “The grotto-est room.”
  • *grat* → *grotto*: As in, “Eternally grottoful (grateful)” and “You have my grottotude” and “Grotto-itous (gratuitous) violence” and “Instant grotto-fication” and “Integrotto-ed systems” and “Congrottolations!”
  • *gret* → *grotto*: As in, “Quiet regrotto (regret)” and “Feeling regrottoful” and “Regrottobly low” and “Topped with vinaigrotto.”
• The following pun section is dedicated to Santa’s reindeer:
  • Dash→ Dasher: Since Dasher is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dash in this list: “Crash and dasher” and “Dasher to pieces” and “Dasher off.”
  • *dish→ *dasher: As in, “What outlandasher (outlandish) claims!” and “Radasher cake” and “Childasher (childish) behaviour” and “A prudasher (prudish) mindset” and “A fiendasher (fiendish) child.”
  • Dance: As in, “Dance around the problem” and “Dance like nobody’s watching” and “Dance the night away” and “Dance your socks off” and “Just dance” and “Lead a merry dance” and “Make a song and dance about” and “Save the last dance for me.” Notes: to dance around the problem is to avoid it. To lead someone on a merry dance is to make things prolonged and complicated for someone. To make a song and dance about something is to make an unnecessarily big deal out of it.
  • *dance→ *dancer: As in, “Take attendancer” and “I need your guidancer“ and “In abundancer of” and “In accordancer with” and “Good riddancer to bad rubbish” and “Avoidancer techniques.”
  • Dense→ Dance: As in, “The cake should be light and fluffy, not dance” and “Are you dance?”
  • *dence→ *dance: As in, “Where’s the evidance?” and “A measured cadance” and “In confidance” and “Enter into correspondance with.”
  • Pants→ Prance: As in, “Ants in his prance” and “Beat the prance off” and “By the seat of your prance” and “Caught with your prance down” and “Drop your prance” and “Fancy prance” and “Fly by the seat of your prance” and “Keep your prance on” and “Prance on fire” and “Smarty prance” and “Keep it in your prance” and “Keep your prance on.”
  • Prince→ Prance: As in, “A prance among men” and “Prance of darkness” and “Prance of Persia.” Note: Prince of Persia is a video game franchise.
  • Prints→ Prance: As in, “I made some prance to hang on the walls.”
  • Comment→ Comet: As in, “No comet” and “Any questions, comets or concerns?”
  • Come→ Comet: As in, “All good things must comet to an end” and “Good things comet to those who wait” and “As tough as they comet” and “Christmas comets but once a year” and “Comet and get it” and “Comet away with me” and “Comet on over” and “Comet running” and “Comet together” and “Comet again?” and “Comet down hard on” and “Comet down on (someone) like a tonne of bricks” and “Comet full circle” and “Comet hell or high water” and “Comet home to a real fire” and “Comet home to roost” and “Comet in from the cold” and “Comet of age” and “Comet out and play” and “Comet out of the closet” and “Comet out of your shell” and “Comet out swinging” and “Comet rain or shine.”
  • Common→ Comet: As in, “A victory for comet sense” and “As comet as muck” and “Comet ground” and “Comet sense” and “Nothing in comet” and “The comet good.”
  • Cosmic→ Comet: As in, “Comet ordering.” Note: cosmic ordering is the idea that positive thinking without action can help you realise your dreams.
  • Comic→ Comet: As in, “Comet strip” and “Comet timing.”
  • Stupid*→ Cupid*: As in, “Criminal cupidity” and “I’m with cupid” and “Keep it simple, cupid” and “Cupid is as cupid does” and “Very interesting, but cupid.”
  • Kewpie→ Cupid: As in, “Cupid doll” and “Cupid mayonnaise.” Note: kewpie is both a type of doll and a brand of mayonnaise.
  • Done→ Donner: “Been there, donner that” and “Donner and dusted” and “A donner deal” and “Easier said than donner” and “Hard donner by” and “Well donner” and “When all is said and donner” and “I’m donner for.”
  • Do not→ Donner: As in, “Donner look now” and “Donner call us, we’ll call you” and “Donner get me started” and “Donner give up your day job” and “Donner go there” and “Donner hold your breath” and “Donner knock yourself out” and “Donner let the door hit you on the way out” and “Donner tell me what to do” and “Donner believe everything you hear” and “Donner get caught with your pants down” and “Donner knock it til you’ve tried it” and “I donner understand.”
  • Dinner→ Donner: As in, “Donner and a movie” and “A donner date” and “A dog’s donner” and “Guess who’s coming to donner?”
  • Pardon→ Par-donner: As in, “I beg your par-donner?” and “Well par-donner me for living” and “Par-donner my French” and “Par-donner me.” This also works well with other words ending with “don”, like abandon (abandonner), tendon (tendonner), armageddon (armageddonner) and London (Londonner).
  • Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out.”
  • Bliss→ Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out” and “A blitzful slumber” and “Domestic blitz” and “Ignorance is blitz” and “Marital blitz.”
  • Blister*→ Blitzer*: As in, “Blitzering barnacle” and “At blitzering speed” and “Blood blitzer” and “Blitzer pack” and “Blitzering heat.” Note: a blister pack is a type of plastic and foil packaging, usually for medicine.
• Land→ Lapland: Santa’s workshop is said to be found in Lapland, so we’ve got some Lapland-style puns for you here: “A blot on the laplandscape” and “In the lapland of the living” and “A real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere lapland” and “In the lapland of nod” and “La la lapland” and “Lapland ahoy!” and “Lapland of hope and glory” and “Lapland of make believe” and “Lapland of milk and honey” and “A laplandscape painting” and “Living off the fat of the lapland” and “Never never lapland” and “No man’s lapland” and “Political laplandscape” and “A rough laplanding” and “The waste lapland” and “The lapland of the rising sun” and “The lapland of the free” and “The lapland that time forgot” and “The law of the lapland” and “By a laplandslide” and “The promised lapland” and “Cats always lapland on their feet.” Notes: “a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land” is a line from The Beatles  song “Nowhere Man”. A blot on the landscape is an unattractive part that takes away from the otherwise attractive whole.
• Internet→ Winternet: As in, “Empowering the winternet generation” and “Surfing the winternet” and “The winternet of things.”
• Intern→ Wintern: As in, “Looking for winterns” and “I’m winterning this summer.”
• Winner→ Winter: As in, “Winter takes all” and “Everyone’s a winter!” and “A real winter’s attitude.”
• Winter Wonderland→ Winter Punderland
• Fast→ Feast: As in, “Feast as greased lightning” and “Feast as his legs could carry him” and “Bad news travels feast” and “Feast and Furious” and “Going nowhere feast” and “Not so feast!” and “Pull a feast one” and “Think feast.” Notes: to pull a fast one is to trick someone.
• Feisty→ Feasty: As in, “A feasty character” and “Feasty words.” Note: feisty means ready to fight.
• Faced→ Feast: As in, “Too-feast” and “Fresh feast” and “A bald-feast lie” and “Time you feast the truth.”
• Least→ Feast: As in, “At the very feast” and “Not in the feast” and “To say the feast” and “Last but not feast” and “The line of feast resistance.”
• Beast→ Feast: As in, “Beauty and the Feast” and “Here there be feasts” and “The nature of the feast” and “Unleash the feast.”
• *fas*→ *feast*: As in, “Feasten your seatbelts” and “Feast asleep” and “Moving in feast-forward” and “On the feast track to success” and “Skipping breakfeast” and “Holding steadfeast” and “Feastidiously (fastidiously) clean.” Notes: to be steadfast is to be loyal and consistent. To be fastidious is to be very fussy and particular about details.
• *fes*→ *feast*: As in, “Feastering wound” and “Join the feastivities” and “Feastooned with ribbons” and “A feastive atmosphere.” Other words you could use: manifeast (manifest), manifeasto (manifesto) and manifeastation (manifestation). Notes: A festoon is a hanging ornament. If something is manifest, then it’s able to be perceived. A manifesto is a document of principles.
• *face*→ *feast*: As in: interfeast (interface), surfeast (surface) and multifeasted (multifaceted).
• *fist*→ *feast*: As in, “Feastful of dollars” and “Feast of steel” and “With an iron feast.” Other words you could use: feasticuffs (fisticuffs), feastfight and pacifeast (pacifist).
• *feas*→ *feast*: As in, “It’s not feastible” and “Think of the feastibility.” Note: feasible means practical to achieve or do.
• First→ Frost: As in, “A world frost” and “At frost blush” and “Be the frost to know” and “Cast the frost stone” and “Frost blood” and “Frost come, frost served” and “Frost impressions last” and “Frost rate” and “Frost things frost” and “Head frost” and “Love at frost sight” and “Safety frost.”
• *first*→ *frost*: Frosthand, frostly (firstly), frostborn, frost-rate, frost aid, headfrost, feet frost.
• Foe→ Froze: As in, “Friend or froze?”
• Flow*→ Froze*: As in, “Ebb and froze” and “Get the creative juices froze-ing” and “Go with the froze.”
• Ferocious→ Frozecious: As in, “A frozecious facial expression.”
• Cook → Cookie: Since it’s a tradition to leave milk and cookies for Santa, we’ve included cookie puns in this list too: “Cookie up a storm” and “Cookie-ing with gas” and “Too many cookies spoil the broth.”
• Cookie: Some cookie-related phrases for you to use as puns: “A tough cookie,” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie jar,” and “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
• Milk: To go with out cookie phrases, here are some milk-related phrases: “Mild as milk,” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” and “Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy,” and “Land of milk and honey,” and “The milk of human kindness.”
• Fruit → Fruitcake: Fruitcakes are commonly served at Christmas, so we’ve included them in this list: “Forbidden fruit cake” and “Fruit cakes of your labor” and “Low hanging fruit cake.”
• Cake → Fruitcake: As in, “A slice of the fruitcake” and “Fruitcake or death” and “Fruitcake walk” and “Fruitcaked with mud” and “Coffee and fruitcakes” and “Icing on the fruitcake” and “Let them eat fruitcake” and “Piece of fruitcake” and “Shut your fruitcake hole” and “Takes the fruitcake” and Cherry on the fruitcake” and “Have your fruitcake and eat it too.” Note: if something is a cakewalk, then it’s very easy.
• Inaugural → Eggnogural: The next few puns are centered around eggnog, which is traditionally served at Christmas. Note that while eggnog has historically been made with egg, there are delicious and easy eggless recipes out there too. As in, “Eggnogural address” and “Eggnogural speech.” Note: an inauguration is a formal beginning.
• Knock* → Eggnog*: As in, “I get eggnog-ed down, but I get up again” and “Eggnog on wood” and “Eggnog back a few” and “Eggnog into shape” and “Eggnog it off!” and “Eggnog something together” and “Eggnog the stuffing out of.”
• Ignorance → Eggnogrance: As in, “Eggnogrance is bliss.”
• Light → Fairy lights: Since Christmas trees are commonly wrapped in blinking fairy lights for decoration, we’ve included the term here. As in, “Blinded by the fairy light” and “Bring something to fairy light” and “The cold fairy light of day” and “First fairy light” and “Friday night and the fairy lights are low” and “Give it the green fairy light” and “Go out like a fairy light” and “My guiding fairy light” and “The fairy light at the end of the tunnel.”
• Paddington → Puddington: Paddington bear is a children’s character.
• Putting → Pudding: As in, “Off-pudding” and “Pudding things away” and “You’re pudding me down.”
• Padding → Pudding: As in, “Pudding across the room barefoot” and “Cotton pudding.”
• I see→ Icy: As in, “I call ’em as icy ’em” and “Icy what you did there.”
• Nice→ Ice: As in, “Have an ice day” and “Make ice” and “Ice and easy” and “Did you have an ice time?” and “Ice save” and “Ice try” and “Ice work if you can get it” and “No more Mr. Ice Guy” and “Wouldn’t it be ice?” and “Couldn’t happen to an icer..” Note: to make nice is to be pleasant to someone you dislike or have issues with
• Eyes→ Ice: As in, “Avert your ice,” and “Bat your ice” and “Bedroom ice” and “Before your very ice” and “Bright ice” and “Brings tears to my ice” and “Cried my ice out” and “Do my ice deceive me?” and “Easy on the ice” and “Ice in the back of your head” and “Ice like saucers” and “Feast your ice on this!” and “I can’t take my ice off you” and “In the ice of the law” and “Keep your ice on the prize” and “Keep your ice peeled.”
• Ice: These ice-related phrases could serve as some bad snowman puns in the right context: “Cold as ice” and “Break the ice” and “Ice up” and “Ice, ice baby” and “On ice” and “Skating on thin ice” and “Tip of the iceberg.” Some ice-related words that could also work: iceberg, ice-cream and icebreaker.
• *ice: Emphasise the “ice” in certain words: “Thank you for your service” and “Needs practice” and “Pride and Prejudice” and “Running for office” and “I need your advice” and “Where is the justice?” and “Left to your own devices” and “Not that you’d notice.” Note: Pride and Prejudice is a classic romance novel.
• Eyes*→ Ice*: As in, “You’re an ice-sore” and “Poor icesight” and “Sultry iceshadow.”
• *is*→ *ice*: As in, “A thorough analysice” and “A groundbreaking hypothesice” and “Arch nemesice (nemesis)” and “What’s the basice for your belief?” and “All down to logicestics” and “Sophicestication at its finest” and “You never told me otherwice.”
• *ise→ *ice: As in, “Should any problems arice” and “An exciting premice” and “Adviceory board” and “No promices” and “Exercice your discretion” and “An enterprice-ing individual” and “I require your expertice.”
• *ize→ *ice: A quick note that these words would have originally been spelled with “ize” using American spelling, and would have been spelled with “ise” using the British/Australian system: “I didn’t realice” and “Do you recognice me?” and “I apologice” and “Don’t patronice me” and “One sice fits all” and “Eyes on the price” and “Galvaniced into action.” Note: to galvanise is to shock or stimulate into action.
• Mustard → Custard: As in, “Cut the custard” and “Keen as custard.” Note: if something cuts the mustard, then it’s been deemed to be good enough.
• Reason → Season: As in, “Ain’t no season to go elsewhere” and “Beyond seasonable doubt” and “Stands to season” and “Listen to season” and “Rhyme or season.”
• Seize → Season: As in, “Season him!” and “Season the day.”
• Seas → Season: As in, “On the high season” and “A season change” and “All at season” and “Completely at season” and “At season level” and “Between the devil and the deep blue season” and “From season to shining season.”
• Cherry→ Sherry: In some countries, it’s a tradition to leave sherry for Santa, so we’ve got some sherry-related puns in here too: “Sherry pick” and “Sherry pie” and “Sherry ripe” and “A second bite of the sherry” and “The sherry on the cake” and “A bowl of sherries.”
• Share→ Sherry: As in, “A problem sherry’ed is a problem halved” and “A lion’s sherry” and “Sherry and sherry alike” and “Learn to sherry.”
• Sheer→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry driving pleasure” and “Sherry madness” and “Sherry nonsense.”
• Dear → Beer: In Australia, it’s a tradition to leave beers (rather than milk) for Santa along with cookies, so we’ve included beer puns for you to use: “Oh beer me” and “Hang on for beer life” and “Near and beer to my heart” and “Elementary, my beer Watson.”
• Ear → Beer: As in “Grin from beer to beer” and “Let’s play it by beer” and “Lend a beer” and “In one beer and out the other.”
• Peer → Beer: As in “Beer pressure” and “It’s like she was beering into my soul.”
• Pier → Beer: As in “Take a long walk off a short beer.”
• Bear → Beer: As in “Grizzly beer” and “Beer a resemblance” and “The right to beer arms” and “Beer down upon” and “Bear witness to …” and “Beer false witness” and “Beer fruit” and “Beer in mind that …” and “Bring to beer“. For other beer-related puns, see our beer puns list.
  • Care at→ Carrot: Since carrots are traditionally used as a nose when building snowmen, we’ve included carrots in this list: As in, “I couldn’t carrot all.”
  • Care about→ Carrot bout: As in, “Why should I carrot ’bout that?”
  • Carat→ Carrot: As in, “24 carrot gold.”
  • Rot→ Carrot: As in, “Carrot in hell!” and “Spoiled carrotten.”
  • Carrot: Use a couple of carrot-related phrases in your snowman wordplay: “Carrot and stick” and “Dangle the carrot.”
• *ber*→ *brr*: As in, “Brry flavoured” and “Stop brrr-ating (berating) me” and “A wide brrth (berth)” and “Going brrrserk (berserk).” Other words that would work: brreft (bereft), brreavement (bereavement), numbrr, chambrr, ubrr (uber), sobrr (sober), fibrr (fiber), ambrr (amber), membrr, calibrr, remembrr, delibrrate, librral (liberal), librrty (liberty), abrration (aberration), cumbrrsome.
• *bor* → *brr*: As in, “Beg, steal or brrow (borrow)” and “Dying from brredom” and “Unpaid labrr” and “Harbrring (harbouring) a fugitive” and “Good neighbrrs” and “An elabrrate plan.” Other words that could be used: corrobrrate (corroborate), collabrrate (collaborate), stubbrrn (stubborn).
• *bur*→ *brr*: As in, “Brrst my bubble” and “Brrning the midnight oil” and “A heavy brrden (burden)” and “Brry (bury) the hatchet.” Other words that could work: reimbrrsement, brrrow (burrow), brrgeoning (burgeoning), brr (burr), excalibrr (excalibur), brrito (burrito).
• You log → Yule log: As in, “Have yule logged on yet?” This is a very specific pun that refers to yule logs (large logs that are burned on Christmas Eve).
• Grandchild* → Grinch-ild*: As in, “For my grinch-ildren” and “My youngest grinch-ild.” Note: the grinch is a fictional Christmas character.
• Inch → Grinch: As in, “Give a grinch and they’ll take a mile” and “Half a grinch” and “Grinching along.”

The following section is specific to song titles that have been changed to include Christmas-related words:

• Say My Name → Sleigh My Name (a song by Destiny’s Child)
• Single Ladies → Jingle Ladies (by Beyonce)
• Winter Wonderland → Winter Punderland (already a Christmas song, now made punny. )
• Enter Sandman → Enter Santaman (a heavy metal song by Metallica)
• Bootylicious → Sootylicious (another Destiny’s Child song)
• Hollaback Girl → Ho Ho Hollaback Girl (A pop song by Gwen Stefani)
• Call Me Maybe → Coal Me Maybe (by Carly Rae Jepsen)
• Let It Go → Let It Snow: (from Disney’s Frozen – although “Let It Snow” is also a line from a separate Christmas song)
• I Don’t Want To Miss A Thing → I Don’t Want To Mistletoe A Thing (a power ballad by Aerosmith)
• Bohemian Rhapsory → Bohemian Wrapsody: (a classic by Queen).

Christmas-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Christmas puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

christmas, xmas, christmastide, ho ho ho, merry, yule, yuletide, noel, feliz navidad, eve, gifts, present, santa, claus, father christmas, saint nick/nicholas, kris kringle, naughty, nice, good, bad, jolly, elves, elf, reindeer, rudolph, red-nosed, sleigh, chimney, soot, christmas tree, christmas card, angel, star, bauble, tinsel, candy cane, wrapping paper, sack, coal, stocking, stocking stuffer,  tree, wreath, holly, mistletoe, carol, list, letter, 25th december, wishlist, greetings, holiday spirit, toys, candy, deliver, workshop, snowman, grotto, north pole, snow, snowy, snowball, christmas eve, dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, lapland, mrs. claus, cookies, milk, fruit cake, eggnog, pudding, custard, gingerbread, season, carrot, hat, scarf, ice, winter, winter wonderland, snowflake, frozen, give, giving,  sherry, beer, feast, cracker, lights, yule log, pudding, grinch

Songs: jingle bells, joy to the world, little drummer boy, holy night, white christmas, let it snow, deck the halls

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