Coffee Puns

• Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
• Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
• Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane has been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
• Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground.”
• Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
• Bitter: As in “He came to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
• Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
• Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
• Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
• *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
• Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
• Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
• Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
• Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
• Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Example: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
• Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
• You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
• Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
• *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
• *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
• *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
• Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
• Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
• Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
• Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
• * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
• Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
• Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
• Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
• Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
• Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
• Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
• Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
• Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break“. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid“
• Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
• Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
• Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we can do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
• Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
• The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
• Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
• Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!)
• Turkish: Same explanation as above.
• Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
• Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
• Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
• Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
• Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc.”
• Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.”
• Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
• Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
• Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
• Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
• Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
• Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
• Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
• Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
• Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!” It is also used as a term of endearment, as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
• Fair trade: This term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
• *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
• *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
• Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
• Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
• Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
• Cup: This has a few different meanings outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
• Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
• They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
• Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
• Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (These are a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
• Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
• Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
• Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun – as in, “I barley talked to him!”
• Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped from the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
• I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
• Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema makes the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
• Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
• Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
• Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be a subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
• Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
• Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
• Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

• How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
• What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
• What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
• Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
• Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
• How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
• How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
• What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
• What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

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Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂