Tag: treasure

Valentine’s Day Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Valentine’s Day puns! 💘 😘 🍬

While Valentine’s Day may be celebrated differently in every country, it always has the same meaning: a celebration of love. While Valentine’s Day may have originated from a recognition of romantic love specifically, today we celebrate and appreciate all of the different types of loves we experience in our lives, including that felt between family and friends – even teachers will get platonic Valentine’s gifts from students, and Galentine’s day (where women celebrate their female friendships, recognised on the 13th of Feb) is becoming more popular too.

In past years, Valentine’s Day celebrations have excluded love that doesn’t fit a romantic heterosexual stereotype. Many cultures and countries are slowly becoming more aware and accepting of all types of love from all types of people, and that’s what we hope to celebrate with our cheesy, lovey-dovey pun list. Whether you’re gay, bi, poly, aromantic, demigray, non-binary, homoromantic but heterosexual, or in the process of figuring things out, we welcome you here and hope that you enjoy our Valentine’s Day pun list.

While this list is as thorough as we could make it, it is specific to puns relating to Valentine’s Day. We also have lists of chocolate puns and holiday puns, and have a lists of love puns and friendship puns in the works too!

Note: if you’d like social support, here’s a list of LGBT rights organisations. For social support, there’s TherapyTribe, who specialise in LGBTQ mental health.  If you’d like to learn more, there’s the LGBT Foundation.

Valentine’s Day Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Valentine’s Day that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Valentine’s Day puns:

  • Alive → Alove: As in, “Alove and kicking” and “Alove and well” and “Eaten alove” and “Half alove” and “Keep hope alove.”
  • Live → Love: As in, “Love and let die” and “Love your life” and “Love and learn” and “Love dangerously” and “Love for the moment” and “Love like a king” and “Love long and prosper” and “Love to fight another day.”
  • Laugh → Love: As in, “Belly love” and “Burst out love-ing” and “Doubled up with loveter” and “Fall about love-ing” and “Good for a love” and “Have a love” and “Split your sides with loveter.”
  • Left → Loved: As in, “Exit stage loved” and “Loved the building” and “Keep loved” and “Loved hanging” and “Loved out in the cold” and “Loved, right and centre” and “Loved to your own devices” and “Out of loved field” and “Two loved feet.”
  • Is → Kiss: As in, “As kiss” and “As the day kiss long” and “This kiss how it is.”
  • Guess → Kiss: As in, “Anybody’s kiss” and “Kiss who’s coming to dinner” and “Kiss what?” and “Kissing game” and “Have a kiss” and “Hazard a kiss” and “Your kiss is as good as mine.”
  • Kismet → Kissmet
  • Ruckus → Ruckiss
  • Hog → Hug: As in, “Go the whole hug” and “Hug tied” and “Hug wild.”
  • *cas* → *kiss*: If a word has a “cas” sound in it, we can replace it with “kiss” to make some love-related puns. As in, “A kisscade of water” and “Smart kissual” and “At the kissino.”
  • Crystal → Kisstal: As in, “The finest kisstal” and “Clear as kisstal.”
  • *cus → *kiss/es: Replace “cus” sounds with “kiss” to make some silly romantic puns. As in, “Don’t lose fokiss (focus)” and “Lokiss of control (locus)” and “Filled with mukiss (mucus).” Other words you could use: caukiss (caucus), cirkiss/es (circus/es), abakiss (abacus), hibiskiss (hibiscus), hokiss (hocus).
  • *hag* → *hug*: As in, “A huggard appearance” and “Huggle over the price.”
  • *hog* → *hug*: As in, “Mahugany table” and “Chocolate hedgehug.”
  • *hec* → *hug*: hugtic (hectic), hugkle (heckle), Hugtor (Hector), hugtare (hectare) and apothugary (apothecary).
  • *hic* → *hug*: “Please step out of the vehugle (vehicle)” and “The wrong demographug” and “Ethugal decisions.”
  • Cattle → Cuddle: As in, “Cuddle show.”
  • Puddle → Cuddle: As in, “Melt into a cuddle.”
  • Muddle → Cuddle: As in, “Cuddle headed” and “Cuddle along.”
  • Blurt → Flirt: As in, “Flirt it out” and “Flirt out the first thing that comes to mind.”
  • Hurt → Flirt: As in, “You only flirt the one you love” and “What you don’t know can’t flirt you” and “The truth flirts” and “Do you really want to flirt me?” and “Flirt feelings.”
  • *flat* → *flirt*: flirtter (flatter), flirtulence (flatulence), flirttery (flattery), flirttered (flattered) and inflirte (inflate).
  • Leaflet → Leaflirt
  • *flot* → *flirt*: flirtsam (flotsam), flirtilla (flotilla) and flirtation (flotation).
  • *fert* → *flirt*: As in, “Flirtile land” and “The right flirtiliser” and “Flirtility tests” and “In vitro flirtilisation” and “Inflirtile by choice.”
  • *fort* → *flirt*: As in, “Maximum efflirt” and “Creature comflirts” and “Filled with discomflirt” and “Mental flirtitude” and “Fame and flirtune” and “Living comflirtably” and “A flirtuitous situation” and “Every flirtnight.”
  • *furt* → *flirt*: As in, “Flirtive looks” and “Moving flirtively.” Note: to be furtive is to be secretive or stealthy.
  • *skirt* → *flirt*: As in, “Flirting the issue.”
  • Luck → Like: As in, “As good like would have it” and “Beginner’s like” and “Better like next time” and “Don’t push your like” and “Hard like.”
  • *lac* → *like*: As in, “A like-onic response” and “Looking likelustre.” Other words that could work: like-adaisical (lackadaisical), likey (lackey), shellike (shellac), cadillike (cadillac), plike-ate (placate).
  • *lec* → *like*: As in, “Giving a liketure” and “Standing at the liketern” and “University liketurer” and “Ecliketic taste” and “Building your colliketion” and “Refliket on your behaviour.” Other words that could work: infliketion (inflection), refliketion (reflection), apopliketic (apoplectic), dialiketic (dialectic), intelliketual (intellectual), negliket (neglect) and colliket (collect). Notes: to be apoplectic is to be furiously angry. A dialectic is a formal system of reasoning or logic.
  • *lic* → *like*: like-orice (licorice), republike (republic), bucolike (bucolic), publike (public), relike (relic), catholike (catholic), idyllike (idyllic), frolike (frolic), hyperbolike (hyperbolic), vitriolike (vitriolic), implike-ation (implication), confliket (conflict), applikeation (application).
  • *lyc* → *like*: likera (lycra) and like-anthrope (lycanthrope).
  • Crash → Crush: As in, “Crush and burn” and “Crush course” and “Crush pad” and “Train crush.”
  • Rush → Crush: As in, “Beat the crush” and “A crush job” and “Crush of blood” and “Sugar crush” and “In a mad crush.”
  • Cross → Crush: As in, “Acrush the board” and “Come acrush” and “Crush as two sticks” and “Crush to the other side” and “Crush my heart and hope to die” and “Crush purposes” and “Crush swords with” and “Crush the line” and “Crush your fingers” and “Crush your mind” and “Double crush.”
  • *lav* → *love*: If a word has a “lav” sound that’s similar to “love”, we can replace it with “love”: “Molten love-a (lava)” and “Love-ished with gifts” and “Lovender scented” and “Where’s the love-atory?” and “Love-ishly presented.”
  • *lev* → *love*: We can sneak “love” into words that have a “lev” sound: “Use your loverage” and “On the same lovel” and “A love-iathan for your love” and “A malovelent being” and “That’s not a relove-ant topic.” Other words that could work: allove-iate (alleviate), clover (clever), irreloveant (irrelevant).
  • *liv* → *love*: loving (living), love-id (livid), lovely (lively), lovelihood (livelihood), lovestock (livestock), delover (deliver), delovery (delivery), oblove-ious (oblivious), oblove-ion (oblivion), olove (olive).
  • *lef* → *love*: As in, “What’s lovet (left)?” and “Eating lovetovers.”
  • *lif* → *love*: lovestyle (lifestyle), lovelong (lifelong), lovetime (lifetime), lovespan (lifespan), loveline (lifeline), lovecycle (lifecycle), loveguard, lovesaver, prolove-ic (prolific), proloveration (proliferation), exemplovey (exemplify), qualovey (qualify).
  • Loft* → Lovet*: As in, “A lovety goal” and “Artist’s lovet.”
  • Cus* → Crush*: As in, “A happy crushtomer” and “Cultural crushtom” and “In crushtody” and “Crushtoms officer” and “Sole crushtodian” and “A crushtomary ritual.”
  • Cross* → Crush*: crushbreed (crossbreed), crushover, crushword, crushroad, crushhairs, crush-section.
  • Hurt → Heart: As in, “You only heart the one you love” and “What you don’t know can’t heart you.”
  • Hate → Heart: As in, “Heart mail” and “Love-heart relationship” and “Man hearter” and “Heart someone’s guts.”
  • Art → Heart: As in, “Heart of war” and “Heart imitating life” and “Heart going one step too far”and “Heartistic triumph” and “Hearts and crafts” and “Hearty farty.”
  • Chart → Cheart: As in, “Cheart a course” and “Growth flowchearts.”
  • *het* → *heart*: hearterosexual (heterosexual), epitheart (epithet), propheart (prophet) and apatheartic (apathetic).
  • Bait → Date: As in, “Date and switch” and “Click date” and “Rise to the date” and “Take the date.”
  • *dat* → *date*: As in, “In the date-a” and “Check the date-aset” and “Charity foundate-tion” and “Mandate-ory sentencing.”
  • *det* → *date*: As in, “Date-termining your best options” and “Down to the last date-tail” and “More date-termined than ever.” Other words that could work: date-trimental (detrimental), date-teriorate (deteriorate) and cadate (cadet).
  • *dit* → *date*: As in, “Credate check” and “Audate (audit) appointment.” Other words you could try: bandate (bandit), discredate (discredit), expedate (expedite), erudate (erudite) and commodatey (commodity). Note: if someone is erudite, then they are learned or scholarly.
  • *dot* → *date*: As in, “A tired anecdate” and “Anecdate-al evidence” and “A universal antidate” and “Peridate jewelry.”
  • *did → *date: “Candate camera” and “The sordate truth” and “Splendate effort.”
  • *dating: We can simply emphasise the “dating” in certain words to make references to romantic dates: accommodating, intimidating, elucidating, updating, validating, consolidating and backdating.
  • Woo: To woo someone is to court or romance them, so we’ve got some woo-related puns here:
    • Who → Woo: As in, “Abandon all hope ye woo enter here” and “All things to those woo wait” and “Woo’s coming to dinner?” and “Ladies woo lunch.”
    • Boo → Woo: As in, “Woo hoo” and “Wouldn’t say woo to a ghost.”
    • Rue → Woo: As in, “Woo the day!”
    • Too → Woo: As in, “A step woo far” and “About time, woo” and “Woo sexy for my shirt” and “Never woo late” and “You know woo much” and “All over woo soon.”
    • Two → Woo: As in, “Alike as woo peas in a pod” and “Cross as woo sticks” and “In woo minds” and “Eating for woo.”
    • View → Woo: As in, “Room with a woo” and “Bird’s eye woo” and “Come into woo” and “A dim woo” and “Point of woo” and “How’s the woo from the top?”
    • You → Woo: As in, “As woo know” and “Back at woo” and “Believe woo me” and “Bless woo.”
    • *rue* → *woo*: wooful (rueful), woofully (ruefully), accwoo (accrue), twoo (true), constwoo (construe), miscontwoo (misconstrue) and gwoosome (gruesome).
    • *wo* → *woo*: As in, “Get to woork” and “The final woord” and “Out of this woorld” and “What woould you do?” Other words that could work: woonky (wonky), woorth (worth) and woolf (wolf).
    • *wou* → *woo*: As in, “You woond (wound) me” and “Could have, woold have, should have” and “Feeling woonded.”
    • Wing → Wooing: As in, “Clip your wooings” and “Earned their wooings” and “Gives you wooings” and “Left wooing” and “Spread your wooings.”
  • Adversary → Anniversary
  • Field → Feel: As in, “In the feeld” and “A feeld day” and “From left feeld” and “Play the feeld” and “A level playing feeld.”
  • Heal → Feel: As in, “Feeling hands” and “Time is a great feeler.”
  • Deal → Feel: As in, “Not a big feel” and “Cut a feel” and “Feel breaker” and “Feel from the bottom of the deck” and “Feel me in” and “Feel or no feel?” and “A done feel” and “Seal the feel.”
  • Fuel → Feel: As in, “Add feel to the flames” and “Feel for thought” and “Feel the controversy.”
  • Heel → Feel: As in, “Achilles’ feel” and “Cool your feels” and “Dig your feels in” and “Head over feels in love” and “Hot on your feels.”
  • *fel* → *feel*: As in, “My good feellow” and “Charged feelony” and “I feelt that.” Other words that could work: feelicity (felicity), feellowship (fellowship), feellatio (fellatio), feelicitous, feeline, feelon, feelafel (or felafeel), duffeel and Eiffeel.
  • *fil* → *feel*: As in, “Action feelm” and “Instagram feelter.” Other words you can try: feelibuster (filibuster), feelial (filial), feelthy (filthy), feelament (filament), fulfeel (fulfil) and affeeliate (affiliate).
  • *ful → *feel: beautifeel, gratefeel, awfeel, wonderfeel, wistfeel, thoughtfeel, successfeel, dreadfeel, faithfeel and insightfeel.
  • *val* → *feel*: As in, “An ambifeelent mind” and “Prefeelent issues” and “Let me efeeluate.” Other words you could try: cafeelier (cavalier) and equifeelent.
  • *vel* → *feel*: As in, “With increasing feelocity” and “Chocolate feelvet” and “Your lefeel best” and “Ambition to trafeel (travel)” and “Unrafeeling lies.” Other words you could try: marfeel (marvel), grafeel (gravel), drifeel (drivel), defeelop (develop), defeelopment (development), nofeel (novel) and enfeelope (envelope).
  • *vil* → *feel*: feellain (villain), feelify (villify), feellage (village), cifeel (civil), efeel (evil), defeel (devil), prifeelege (privilege), cifeelisation (civilisation) and pafeelion (pavilion).
  • *field* → *feeld*: As in, “Feelding your questions” and “Research and feeldwork” and “On the battlefeeld.”
  • Ceiling → Feeling: As in, “Glass feeling” and “Hit the feeling.”
  • Wheeling → Feeling: As in, “Feeling and dealing.”
  • Dinner: Since dinner dates are a popular option for Valentine’s Day, we’ve included dinner-related puns here too:
    • Inner → Dinner: As in, “Dinner city” and “Dinner peace” and “Dinner sanctum” and “My dinner voice.”
    • *den → *dinner: As in, “Beast of burdinner” and “Gardinner of earthly delights” and “Garden of Edinner.” Other words that could also work: maidinner (maiden), beholdinner (beholden), goldinner (golden) and wardinner (warden).
  • Bore → Adore: As in, “Adore the pants off someone” and “Adored stiff” and “Adored to death” and “Adored out of your mind.”
  • *dar* → *adore*: As in, “Deep, adore-k secret” and “If you adore (dare)” and “Eyes adore-ting (darting) around the room.”
  • *der* → *adore*: adore-ive (derive), adore-ivative (derivative), adore-rogatory (derogatory), adore-rision (derision), adore-lict (derelict), adore-ide (deride), adore-ranged (deranged) and adore-risive (derisive).
  • *dir* → *adore*: As in, “Ships adorect from the warehouse” and “Point in the right adore-ction” and “Adore-ctor of photography” and “Down and adore-ty” and “Dish the adore-t.” Other words that could work: adorective (directive), adorectory (directory) and adorectly (directly).
  • *dor* → *adore*: As in, “Lying adoremant” and “Don’t be adorek (a dork)” and “Finding Adorey” and “Girl’s only adore-mitory” and “Adoresal fin.” Other words you could try: ambassadore and corri-adore (corridor).
  • Kitte → Smitten: As in, “Smitten heels” and “Sex smitten.”
  • Written → Smitten: As in, “Smitten all over your face” and “Smitten off.”
  • Bitten → Smitten: As in, “Smitten by the bug” and “Once smitten, twice shy.”
  • Sittin’ → Smitten: As in, “A smitten duck” and “Smitten pretty.”
  • Rose: Roses are a traditionally romantic gift that are commonly given on Valentine’s Day, so we’ve included some rose-related puns in this list:
    • Rouse → Rose: “Rose your interest.”
    • Rise → Rose: As in, “Early roser” and “Rose and shine” and “Rose from the ashes” and “Rose to the challenge.”
    • Raise → Rose: As in, “Rose the bar” and “Rose the dead” and “Rose your game.”
    • Rows → Rose: As in, “Rose upon rose” and “Rose of chairs.”
    • *ras* → *rose*: rosecal (rascal), rosepberry (raspberry), sassafrose (sassafras), pythagorose (pythagoras) and infrosetructure (infrastructure).
    • *res* → *rose*: As in, “Rose-search and development” and “Steely rose-olve” and “Equal reprosentation” and “Deserves rosepect.” Other words you could use: roseume (resume), rose-ponse (response), rose-silient (resilient), roset (rest), rose-olution (resolution), rose-ilience (resilience), interoset (interest), comprose (comprise), heurosetic (heuristic) and enterprose (enterprise).
    • *ros* → *rose*: As in, “Work roseter” and “Like a charging rhinocerose” and “Come acrose” and “An exciting prosepect” and “A grose miscalculation” and “Prosepective buyer.”
    • *rus* → *rose*: As in, “A rosetic (rustic) dinner” and “Filled with roset (rust)” and “See what I can rosetle up.” Other words that could work: Rose-sian (Russian), thesaurose (thesaurus), virose (virus), chorose (chorus), papyrose (papyrus), uterose (uterus), citrose (citrus) and perose-al.
    • Froze → Frose
    • *roce* → *rose*: As in, “In the prose-cess of” and “You may prose-ceed” and “International atrose-cities” and “Standard prose-cedure.”
    • *rows* → *rose*: As in, “Raise your eyebrose” and “Bows and arrose” and “Free throse.” Other words that could work: furrose (furrows), crose (crows), sorrose (sorrows), narrose (narrows).
    • *roas* → *rose*: As in, “Roset vegies” and “Rosety in here.”
    • *rous* → *rose*: onerose (onerous), ludicrose (ludicrous), preposterose (preposterous), generose (generous), cantankerose (cantankerous), rigorose (rigorous), treacherose (treacherous), amorose (amorous), carose-sel (carousel).
  • Yearn: For you to best convey your affections and longings in the most terrible way possible, we have some yearn/yearning related puns for you:
    • Yarn → Yearn: “Yearn bombing” and “Spin a yearn.”
    • *yan* → *yearn*: himalayearn (himalayan), cyearn (cyan), conveyearnce (conveyance), flamboyearnt (flamboyant), buoyearnt (buoyant), clairvoyearnt (clairvoyant).
    • *yon* → *yearn*: Canyearn (canyon), crayearn (crayon), rayearn (rayon) and beyearnd (beyond).
  • Motion → Emotion: As in, “Emotion picture” and “Going through the emotions” and “Poetry in emotion” and “Set in emotion” and “Slow emotion” and “The emotion of the ocean.”
  • Notion → Emotion: As in, “I second that emotion.”
  • Fend → Fond: As in, “Fond for yourself” and “Fond off” and “Fonder bender.”
  • Fund → Fond: As in, “Crowd fonding” and “Hedge fond” and “Mutual fond” and “Slush fond.”
  • Fun → Fond: As in, “All fond and games” and “All the fond of the fair” and “Bundle of fond” and “Good, clean fond.”
  • Fawned → Fond: As in, “Fond over.”
  • *fand* → *fond*: fondango (fandango), fondom (fandom) and fondangle (fandangle).
  • *fend* → *fond*: As in, “Didn’t mean to offond” and “Came to defond you” and “The defondant.”
  • *fund* → *fond*: fondamental (fundamental), fondraising (fundraising), fondamentally (fundamentally) and refond (refund).
  • Flowers: Flowers in general (not just roses) are a traditional Valentine’s Day gift, so we’ve included them in this list:
    • Flow → Flower: As in, “Ebb and flower” and “Get the creative juices flowering” and “Go with the flower” and “In full flower.”
    • Hour → Flower: “Happy flower” and “A late flower” and “In a few flowers.”
    • Flaw → Flower: As in, “Design flower” and “Vital flower.”
    • Floor → Flower: As in, “Cross the flower” and “Hold the flower” and “Mop the flower” and “Wipe the flower with” and “The top flower.”
  • Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
  • Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in,” and “Gift yourself a bad name,” and “Gift them a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift it a rest,” and “Gift it the green light,” and “Gift me a call,” and “Gift 110%”.
  • Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present,” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
  • Present: We’ve included present-related phrases in this list too, as they can double as puns in the right thread or context. As in, “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.”
  • Poem: Love poems are a much-loved gift on Valentine’s Day, so we’ve got some poem-related puns here:
    • *pom* → *poem*: As in, “Poempous attitude” and “Celebration and poemp” and “Poemegranate juice.” Other words you could use: poemade (pomade), poempadour (pompadour), poemelo (pomelo), anthropoemorphic (anthropomorphic). Notes: Pomp is a display or celebration. Pomade is a type of styling gel.
    • *pum* → *poem*: As in, “A poempkin at midnight” and “Under the poemp” and “Poemmel the competition” and “Poemice stone.”
  • Chocolate: Chocolates are seen as a romantic gift, so we’ve included chocolate puns in this list:
    • Check → Choc: As in, “Choc it out!” and “Choc your sources” and “Double choc everything” and “Keep in choc” and “Make a list, choc it twice” and “Take a rainchoc” and “Reality choc” and “Choc-ing up on.”
    • Chalk → Choc: As in, “Different as choc and cheese” and “Choc it up to experience.”
    • Chuck → Choc: As in, “Choc a sickie” and “Choc-ed out” and “Choc overboard.”
  • Sweet: This can be used in two ways – to refer to a sweet candy (which are another popular Valentine’s treat) or to describe someone as sweet. Here are some related puns:
    • Suite → Sweet: As in “She was renting a 2-bedroom sweet for the summer.”
    • Sweat → Sweet: As in “Blood, sweet and tears” and “Beads of sweet rolled down my forehead” and “Break out in a cold sweet” and “By the sweet of my brow” and “Don’t sweet it.” and “Don’t sweet the small stuff.” and “All hot and sweety“
    • Sweater → Sweeter: As in “A close-knit woollen sweeter for cold days”
    • Seat → Sweet: As in, “Backsweet driver” and “By the sweet of your pants” and “Hold on to your sweet” and “Not a dry sweet in the house” and “On the edge of my sweet” and “Please be sweeted” and “Take a back sweet” and “The best sweet in the house.”
    • Switch → Sweet-ch: As in “Bait and sweet-ch” and “Asleep at the sweet-ch” and “Sweet-ch gears” and “You should sweet-ch out your old one with this one.”
    • Sweet: These sweet-related phrases are general enough to be used as puns: As in “You’re so sweet!” and “Oh that’s soo sweet!” and “Revenge is sweet” and “Short and sweet” and “Lay some sweet lines on someone” and “Sweet dreams” and “Sweet Jesus!” and “You bet your sweet life!” and “That was a sweet trick, dude.” and “Sweet as, bro.” and “Whisper sweet nothings” and “Home sweet home” and “A rose by any other name would smell as sweet” and “Sweet smell/taste of success/victory” and “Sweetheart.“
  • Sake → Keepsake: As in, “For heaven’s keepsake” and “For goodness keepsake.”
  • Keep → Keepsake: As in, “Keepsake a low profile” and “Keepsake an eye on” and “Keepsake an open mind.”
  • Sediment → Sentiment
  • Sauce/Saucy: Since a lot of Valentine’s Day is about expressing physical (as well as emotional) affection and attraction towards one another, we’ve got some saucy-related puns for you to use:
    • *sas* → *sauce*: As in, “Veggie sauce-shimi” and “Natural disauceter” and “A disaucetrous outcome.” Other words that could work: Arkansauce (Arkansas), Kansauce (Kansas) and disauceter (disaster).
    • *ses* → *sauce*: As in, “Sauce-ame seeds” and “A precise assauce-ment” and “Nervous obsauce-sion.”
    • *sis* → *sauce*: As in, “Critical analysauce” and “Scientific hypothesauce” and “Arch nemesauce” and “On the basauce of” and “Midlife crisauce” and “Book synpopsauce.”
    • *sus* → *sauce*: As in, “Hard to saucetain” and “Environmentally saucetainable” and “Barely sauce-ceptible” and “The main saucepect.” Other words that could work: sauce-picious (suspicious), sauce-pend (suspend), sauce-tainability (sustainability), sauce-pense (suspense), sauce-pension (suspension), sauce-tenance (sustenance), sauce-pension (suspension), sauce-tenance (sustenance), consensauce (consensus), versauce (versus), censauce (census), Jesauce (Jesus), colossauce (colossus), narcissauce (narcissus).
    • *soc* → *saucy*: As in, “Mainstream saucy-ety” and “Saucy-al attitudes” and “Studying saucy-ology.” Other words you could try: saucy-opath (sociopath), saucy-al (social), saucy-alist (socialist), assaucy-ate (associate), assaucy-ation (association).
    • Assasin → Assaucyn
    • Session → Saucyon
  • Steam/Steamy: As things can get a bit steamy on Valentine’s Day, we have some steam-related puns for you to play around with:
    • Team → Steam: As in, “Dream steam” and “Go steam!” and “Take one for the steam” and “Steam player” and “Steam spirit” and “Together we make a great steam.”
    • Seam → Steam: As in, “Bulging at the steams” and “Come apart at the steam.”
    • Stem → Steam: As in, “Steam the tide.”
    • Seem → Steam: As in, “Sorry steams to be the hardest word.”
    • *stam* → *steam*: As in, “Steamp of approval” and “Out of steamina” and “Raging steampede” and “Did I steammer?” and “A testeament to…”
    • *stem* → *steam*: As in, “Systeam thinking” and “Functional ecosysteam.” Other words that could work: episteamology (epistemology) and systeamic (systemic). Note: epistemology is the study of knowledge.
  • Sex/sexy: We know a lot of Valentine’s Day dates end with a bit of hanky panky, so we have some related puns for you:
    • Six → Sex: As in, “Sex degrees of separation” and “Sexth sense.”
    • Saxophone → Sexophone
    • *sac* → *sex*: As in, “Not worth the sexrifice” and “Down the cul-de-sex” and “Financial transexion” and “Safety and sexurity.” Other words you could use: sexion (section), consexutive (consecutive), sextor (sector), dissext (dissect) and intersexion (intersection).
    • *sics* → *sex*: As in, “The classex” and “Everyday physex” and “Back to basex” and “Working in forensex.”
    • *suc* → *sex*: Sexinct (succinct), sexess (success), sexeed (succeed), sexessful (successful) and sexession (succession).
  • Lust: For our cheekier users, we’ve got some lust-related puns to play with:
    • Last → Lust: As in, “At long lust” and “At the lust minute” and “Breathe your lust” and “Built to lust” and “Lust resort” and “Fame at lust” and “Famous lust words” and “Free at lust” and “To the lust drop” and “Hear the lust of” and “Lust but not least” and “Lust call” and “Lust chance” and “Lust ditch effort” and “Lust in, first out” and “The lust straw.”
    • List → Lust: As in, “On the short lust” and “Top ten lust” and “Bucket lust.”
    • Lost → Lust: As in, “All is not lust” and “Get lust” and “Long lust” and “Lust in translation” and “Lust and found” and “A lust cause” and “Lust in thought” and “A lust soul.”
    • Least → Lust: As in, “Last but not lust” and “Lust common denominator” and “Lust worst option” and “Line of lust resistance” and “Not in the lust” and “At the very lust” and “To say the lust.”
    • *lis* → *lust*: Chrysalust (chrysalis), metropolust (metropolis), borealust (borealis), acropolust (acropolis), holustic (holistic).
    • *lus* → *lust*: As in, “A surplust of” and “Mental calculust” and “Pen stylust.”
    • *last* → *lust*: As in, “Blust from the past” and “Plustic surgery” and “Elustic thinking” and “Everlusting love.”
    • *lest* → *lust*: As in, “The absolute coollust” and “Live life to the fullust” and “The simplust solution” and “Tallust tree” and “Celustial beings” and “Watching your cholusterol.”
    • *list* → *lust*: populust (populist), evangelust (evangelist), journalust (journalist), specialust (specialist), checklust (checklist), holustic (holistic) and ballustic (ballistic).
  • Passing → Passion: As in, “Just passion through” and “Passion in the night.”
  • Fashion → Passion: As in, “Passionably late” and “The height of passion” and “The old-passioned way” and “Passions may come and go, but good manners never go out of style.”
  • Essential → Essensual: As in, “Essensually, yes” and “The bare essensuals.”
  • Sense → Sensual: As in, “Come to your sensuals” and “Common sensual” and “Make sensual of.”
  • Cent → Sensual: As in, “Give your two sensuals” and “A hundred per sensual.”
  • Use → Seduce: As in, “Put to good seduce” and “So easy to seduce” and “Things aren’t what they seduced to be” and “Seducer friendly.”
  • Far → Affair: As in, “Few and affair between” and “So affair, so good” and “Affair cry.”
  • Fair → Affair: As in, “All’s affair in love and war” and “By affair means or foul” and “Affair trade” and “Affair and above board.”
  • Flair → Affair: As in, “Got an affair for”
  • Cup → Couple: As in, “Not my couple of tea” and “Storm in a tea-couple.”
  • Affliction → Affection
  • Part → Partner: As in, “Act the partner” and “For my partner” and “Good in partners” and “If you’re not a partner of the solution, you’re a partner of the problem.”
  • Ship → Partnership: As in, “Abandon partnership” and “Don’t give up the partnership” and “From chips to partnerships” and “Go down with the partnership” and “Jump partnership” and “Loose lips sink partnerships” and “My partnership has come in.”
  • *part* → *partner*: partner-isan (partisan), partner-ticular (particular), partnertake (partake), partner-icle (particle), partner-icipate (participate), apartner (apart), counterpartner (counterpart), impartner (impart), rampartner (rampart), departner (depart).
  • Stupid → Cupid: As in, “Criminal cupidity” and “I’m with cupid” and “Keep it simple, Cupid” and “Cupid is as Cupid does” and “Interesting, but Cupid.” Note: “stupid” is an ableist term. This replacement is a nice way to involve Valentine’s Day and make these previously stupid-related phrases a little more acceptable.
  • Simple → Symbol: As in, “It’s so symbol” and “Keep it symbol” and “Symbol pleasures” and “Pure and symbol” and “Symbol yet effective” and “Symbol as that.” Note: Valentine’s Day is one of heavy romantic and personal emotional symbolism, which is why symbol-related puns have been included.
  • Ring: Rings are a heavily symbolic item for romance, and people may trade them as a symbol of commitment to their relationship on Valentine’s Day. Here are some related puns:
    • Wing → Ring: As in, “Earned your rings” and “Ring it” and “Ringman” and “Draw-ring lots” and “Taken under [someone’s] ring.”
    • Wrong → Ring: As in, “Barking up the ring tree” and “Born on the ring side of the tracks” and “Get off on the ring foot” and “On the ring side of the bed.”
    • *rang* → *ring*: As in, “Boomering effect” and “Oringe flavoured” and “Estringed family members.”
    • *rink* → *ring-k*: As in, “Skating ring-k” and “Dring-k like a fish” and “On the bring-k of” and “Shringking violet” and “Binge dringking.” Other words you could use: spring-kle (sprinkle), springkling (sprinkling), wring-kle (wrinkle) and tring-ket (trinket).
  • Card → Greeting Card: As in, “A few greeting cards short of a full deck” and “Greeting card up your sleeve” and “Deck of greeting cards” and “Hold all the greeting cards.”
  • Ship → Friendship: As in, “Don’t give up the friendship” and “From chips to friendships” and “Loose lips sink friendships.” Note: While Valentine’s Day is historically about romantic love, platonic love is important to celebrate too!
  • Court: To court someone is to “woo” or interact with them with the intention of building a romantic relationship. Here are some related puns:
    • Cart → Court: As in, “A la courte” and “Courted away” and “Crash court” and “In the court.”
    • Quarter → Courter: As in, “A bad courter of an hour” and “Give no courter” and “Show no courter” and “Courter past” and “Close courters.”
    • Got → Court: As in, “You’ve court to do what you’ve court to do” and “I think you’ve court it” and “Cat court your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve court” and “Court a flair for.”
    • Caught → Court: As in, “Court in the act” and “Court in two minds” and “Court off-base” and “Court short” and “Court up in the moment” and “Wouldn’t be court dead.”
    • *cart* → *court*: courtridge (cartridge), courtilege (cartilege) and courton (carton).
    • *cort* → *court*: courtex (cortex), courtisol (cortisol) and escourt (escort).
    • *curt* → *court*: As in, “Behind the courtain” and “Deep courtsey” and “Courtail the topic.” Note: to curtail something is to shorten it.
    • *cot* → *court*: As in, “100% courtton” and “Holiday courttage” and “Apricourt flavoured” and “Company mascourt” and “Boycourtting the brand.”
  • Trend → Tender: As in, “Buck the tender” and “On tender.”

The next section is dedicated to endearments – some romantic, all very affectionate:

  • *dling → *darling: As in, “Not han-darling it that well” and “You med-darling kids!” and “Light the kin-darling” and “Dwindarling in number” and “Fresh seedarling.”
  • Bae: The word “bae” is a fairly new term and is a shortened version of “babe” or “baby”. Here are related puns:
    • Bay → Bae: As in, “Bae for blood” and “Hold at bae” and “Keep at bae.”
    • Buy → Bae: As in, “Bae into” and “Bae now, pay later” and “Bae one, get one free” and “Bae some time” and “Can’t bae me love” and “The best money can bae.”
    • Bye → Bae: As in, “Kiss goodbae to” and “Can never say goodbae” and “Time to say goodbae” and “You can kiss that one goodbae.”
    • Day → Bae: As in, “A bae in the life” and “A hard bae’s night” and “All in a bae’s work” and “All the livelong bae” and “Tomorrow is another bae.”
    • Pay → Bae: As in, “Buy now, bae later” and “Crime doesn’t bae” and “Hell to bae” and “Bae as you go.”
    • Be → Bae: As in, “Bae who you want to bae” and “What would you like to bae?” and “That wouldn’t bae real.”
    • *ba → *bae: Amoebae (amoeba), marimbae (marimba), sambae (samba), mambae (mamba), urbaen (urban), exacerbaete (exacerbate), debaecle (debacle), verbaetim (verbatim) and baese (base).
    • *be* → *bae*: As in, “What have you baecome?” and “Where to baegin?” and “Mutual baenefit.”
    • *bi* → *bae*: As in, “False alibae” and “Wasabae flavoured.” Other words you could use: ubaequitous (ubiquitous), arbaetrary (arbitrary), forbaed (forbid), liabaelity (liability) and phobae-a (phobia).
    • *bu* → *bae*: As in, “Down to bae-siness” and “Get baesy” and “Favourite attribaete.”
    • *ba* → *bae*: As in, “Be left holding the baeby” and “Waiting in the lobbae” and “Rubae coloured.” Other words you could use: therbae (thereby), shabbae (shabby), wherebae (whereby), hobbae (hobby), abbaess (abyss), baegone (bygone), baepass (bypass) and baeproduct (byproduct).
  • Maybe → Baby: As in, “Baby she’s born with it” and “Call me baby.”
  • Aby* → Baby*: As in, “Babysmal (abysmal) performance” and “Down in the babyss.”
  • Abi* → Baby*: As in, “Within your babylity (ability) to” and “Doesn’t suit your babylities.”
  • Deer → Dear: As in, “A dear in headlights.”
  • Dare → Dear: As in, “Dear for more” and “Dear to be different” and “How dear you!”
  • Eerie → Dearie: “A dearie atmosphere.”
  • There → Dear: As in, “Ahoy dear!” and “Not all dear” and “Are we dear yet?” and “Be dear for” and “Be dear or be square” and “Don’t go dear.”
  • Their → Dear: And “..and dear toys” and “Cut down in dear prime” and “Swept off dear feet.”
  • Idea → Idear: As in, “A better idear” and “Bounce idears off” and “A bright idear” and “Put across an idear” and “The spark of an idear” and “What’s the big idear?”
  • Deal → Dearl: As in, “A big dearl” and “Cut a dearl” and “Dearl breaker” and “Dearl from the bottom of the deck” and “Dearl me in” and “Dearl or no dearl?” and “Dearl with it” and “A done dearl” and “If life dearls you lemonds, make lemonade” and “Seal the dearl.”
  • Tear → Dear: As in, “Bathed in dears” and “Blood, sweat and dears” and “Bored to dears” and “Brings dears to your eyes” and “Fighting back dears” and “It will all end in dears” and “Melt into dears” and “Moved to dears” and “No more dears.”
  • *tary → *deary: As in, “Proprideary cable” and “Complemendeary colours” and “New secredeary job” and “A sedendeary lifestyle.” Other words that could work: rudimendeary (rudimentary), documendeary (documentary), monedeary (monetary) and solideary (solitary).
  • *dar* → *dear*: As in, “New calendear year” and “On my radear” and “Cedear scented” and “Get that cheddear.”
  • *der* → *dear*: As in, “Law and ordear” and “In the lardear” and “Graphic rendearing” and “Love me tendear” and “Disordearly conduct.” Other words you could use: wondear (wonder), considear (consider), leadear (leader), hindear (hinder), spidear (spider), dearive (derive), dearivative (derivative), dearogatory (derogatory), dearision (derision), dearelict (derelict), dearide (deride), undearstand (understand) and considearation (consideration).
  • *dir* → *dear*: As in, “Honest and dearect” and “Clear and dearect orders” and “In the right dearection” and “Credit to the dearector” and “Down and dearty” and “New dearectives” and “Go dearectly to the source.”
  • *dur* → *dear*: “Emotional dearess (duress)” and “Dearing the war” and “For the full dearation.” Other words you could use: dearable (durable), dearability (durability), dearian (durian), endear (endure), endearance (endurance), endearing (enduring).
  • Epiphany → Epiphoney
  • Sunny → Honey: As in, “On the honey side of the street” and “Honey side up.”
  • Money → Honey: As in, “A fool and his honey are soon parted” and “A ton of honey” and “Easy honey” and “For love or honey” and “Get your honey’s worth” and “Not made of honey” and “In the honey.”
  • *hony → *honey: As in, “In symphoney” and “A cacophoney of noise.”
  • Pat → Pet: As in, “Got it down pet” and “A pet on the back.”
  • Pit → Pet: As in, “Bottomless pet” and “In the pet of your stomach” and “Mosh pet” and “Pet your wits against.”
  • Put → Pet: As in, “Hard pet to” and “Couldn’t pet it down” and “Don’t pet all your eggs in one basket” and “Feel a bit pet out” and “Wouldn’t pet it past him.”
  • Bet → Pet: As in, “All pets are off” and “Pet your bottom dollar.”
  • Get → Pet: As in, “As good as it pets” and “Buy one, pet one free” and “Come and pet it” and “Don’t pet me started it” and “Can’t pet enough of this.”
  • *pat* → *pet*: As in, “Follows a pettern” and “Petent pending” and “A pethetic effort” and “Wouldn’t have anticipeted it” and “Not a petch on.”
  • *pet*: We can simply emphasise the “pet” that already exists in these words: petty, petulant, petition, petite, carpet, parapet, trumpet, puppet, snippet, limpet, crumpet, impetus, perpetual, competent and competition.
  • *pit* → *pet*: cockpet (cockpit), pulpet (pulpit), armpet (armpit), capetal (capital), epetome (epitome) and serendipety (serendipity).
  • *pot* → *pet*: As in, “Fulfill your petential” and “Mashed petatoes” and “Gained through nepetism” and “I’m not omnipetent.”
  • *bat* → *pet*: compet (combat), acropet (acrobat), numpet (numbat), wompet (wombat), exacerpet (exacerbate) and verpetim (verbatim).
  • *bet* → *pet*: As in, “Petter yourself” and “You can do petter” and “Read petween the lines” and “Deep petrayal” and “To be petrothed” and “Alphapet soup” and “Sherpet flavoured.”
  • *bit* → *pet*: inhipet (inhibit), gampet (gambit), exhipet (exhibit), hapet (habit), orpet (orbit), prohipet (prohibit) and arpetrary (arbitrary).
  • *ped* → *pet*: petantic (pedantic), petigree (pedigree), petestrian (pedestrian), petestal (pedestal), expetition (expedition) and impetiment (impediment).
  • Podiatrist → Petiatrist (Note: this is very specific yes, but whatever works.)
  • Lamb: Lamb is an intimate term of endearment generally used for romantic partners, children or pets. Here are related puns:
    • Limb → Lamb: As in, “Go out on a lamb” and “Risk life and lamb” and “Lamber up.”
    • *lam* → *lamb*: As in, “Lambenting your troubles” and “Bedside lamb-p” and “Lambinated document.” Other words you could use: slamb (slam), clamb (clam), bedlamb (bedlam), salambander (salamander).
    • *lem* → *lamb*: As in, “Lamb-on (lemon) sorbet” and “Make lambonade” and “Add lambongrass” and “Problamb-solving attitude” and “Family emblamb.” Other words that could work: golamb (golem), complamb-ent (complement), implamb-ent (implement), dilamba (dilemma), elamb-ent (element), supplamb-ent (supplement), solamb (solemn) and implamb-entation (implementation).
    • *lim* → *lamb*: “There’s a lambit (limit) for everything” and “Stuck in lambo” and “Walking with a lamb-p (limp).” Other words that could work: lambited (limited), lamber (limber), slamb (slim), complamb-ent (compliment), complamb-entary (complimentary), prelamb-inary (preliminary) and elambinate (eliminate).
    • *lum* → *lamb*: lambinous (luminous), lambinary (luminary), curriculamb (curriculum), asylamb (asylum), pendulamb (pendulum), hoodlamb (hoodlum), colamb (column) and alamb-ni (alumni).
  • Treasure: This is another endearment that is usually reserved for closer, more familial ties like pets, lovers, children or close friends. Here are related puns for you to play with:
    • Measure → Treasure: As in, “Desperate treasures” and “Half treasures” and “Treasure up.”
    • Pleasure → Treasure: As in, “Business before treasure” and “Business or treasure?” and “Double your treasure” and “Guilty treasure.”
  • Beauty → Cutie: As in, “Age before cutie” and “Cutie and the beast.”
  • Duty → Cutie: As in, “Beyond the call of cutie” and “Double cutie” and “Cutie bound” and “Reporting for cutie!”
  • *cuti* → *cutie*: cutie-cle (cuticle), executie-ve (executive), consecutie-ve (consecutive) and consecutie-vely (consecutively).
  • *cute → *cutie: As in, “Acutie appendicitis” and “Executie the plan.” Other words: prosecutie (prosecute), persecutie and electrocutie.
  • Amor: This means “love”, and is sometimes combined with “mi” (mi amor) to mean “my love”. Here are related puns for you play with:
    • *amar* → *amor*: amoranth (amaranth), amoryllis (amaryllis), camoraderie (camaraderie), tamorind (tamarind), samoritan (samaritan), aquamorine (aquamarine) and rigamorole (rigamarole).
    • *amer* → *amor*: Amorican (American), gossamor (gossamer) and camora (camera).
  • Flame: Referring to someone as your flame is to call them your lover and has connotations specifically of physical love and affection. Here are related puns:
    • Fame → Flame: As in, “Claim to flame” and “Fifteen minutes of flame” and “Hall of flame.”
    • Aim → Flame: As in, “Flame high” and “Take flame” and “Flame to please.”
    • Blame → Flame: As in, “Flame game” and “Lay the flame on” and “Flame culture.”
    • Came → Flame: As in, “I flame, I saw, I conquered” and “As it flame to pass.”
    • Frame → Flame: As in, “Freeze flame” and “In the flame.”
    • *fam* → *fame*: As in, “Friends and fame-ily” and “A fame-iliar place” and “Almost flameous” and “40 hour flame-ine.” Other words that could work: flame-ilial (familial), flame-ished (famished), inflame-ous (infamous) and deflame-ation (defamation).
    • Flam* → Flame*: As in, “Flame-boyant event” and “Plastic flame-ingo” and “Dance the flame-enco.”
  • Palaver → Palover (Note: a palaver is an unecessary fuss)
  • Lever* → Lover*: Loverage (leverage) and lover (lever).
  • Deliver → Delover: As in, “Delover the goods” and “Express delovery” and “Undeloverable to your address” and “Seek deloverance.”
  • Wifi → Wife-i
  • Space → Spouse: As in, “Personal spouse” and “Office spouse” and “Deep spouse.”
  • *spos* → *spouse*: As in, “Dispouse of what you don’t need” and “A sunny dispouse-ition” and “Rubbish dispouse-al” and “Dispouse-able plastics” and “Predispoused with other matters.”
  • Spacious → Spouseious: “A spouseious house.”

Valentine’s Day-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Valentine’s Day puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

general: valentine, valentine’s, love, loved, loved one, loving, lovely, romance, romantic, crush, fancy, infatuation, dating, together, woo, wooing, flirt, flirting, flirtatious, like, confess, confession, anniversary, feelings, heart, dinner, date, roses, flowers, bouquet,  gift, present, poem, poetry, love letter, chocolate, keepsake, sentimental, kiss, hug, cuddle, desire, saucy, sexy, sex, lust, passion, erotic, intimate, sensual, seductive, adore, admire, smitten, yearning, relationship, affair, couple, endearment, significant other, better half, affection, partner, partnership, boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife, cupid, symbol, ring, jewelry, commitment, monogamous, monogamy, polyamory, polyamorous, greeting card, lingerie, devotion, emotion, fond, friendship, cherish, devoted, celebration, court, courting, tender

endearments: darling, bae, baby, dear, sweetheart, sweetie, honey, sugar, pet, muffin, lamb, treasure, cutie, cutie pie, beautiful, amor, flame, lover

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Pirate Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on pirate puns! 🏴 ☠ ⛵ 🌊

Pirates today are known as mischievous, swashbuckling characters – cheeky, rule-breaking treasure hunters. But their historical roots are much darker than that, with murder, theft, torture and disease all a common part of a pirate’s lifestyle. We’ve tried to cover all of the different, varied aspects of piracy in this list, from their lingo to their weaponry to famous fictional pirates. So no matter what you’re a fan of or what you’re looking for – whether it be some puns for Talk Like A Pirate Day, or to add some seafaring capers to your Halloween celebrations, we hope that you find the perfect pirate pun.

While this list is as thorough as possible, it is specifically about pirates. If you’re interested in related articles, have a look at our ocean puns, beer puns, boat puns and shark puns.

Pirate Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about pirates that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of pirate puns:

  • Pie → Pie-rate: As in, “Apple pie-rate,” and “Easy as pie-rate,” and “Sweet as pie-rate,” and “Eat humble pie-rate,” and “A piece of the pie-rate,” and “Sweetie pie-rate.” 
  • Corporate → Cor-pirate: As in, “The cor-pirate ladder.” 
  • Irate → P-irate: As in, “This show makes me so p-irate!” 
  • Practical → Piratical: As in, “Piratical walking shoes,” and “A piratical character,” and “Bring some piratical hiking clothes.” Note: if someone is piratical, it means they commit acts of piracy.
  • *pira* → *pirate*: As in, “Res-pirate-ory,” and “Ins-pirate-ional,” and “Res-pirate-ion,” and “As-pirate,” and “Ins-pirate-ion,” and “Cons-pirate-cy.” 
  • Arr*: Emphasise words that have an “arr” sound in them to make some salty pirate puns: “We’ve arrr-ived,” and “A b-arrr-el of laughs,” and “C-arrry on,” and “No holds b-arrr-ed,” and “Arr-ogant,” and “Arrr-ay,” and “Arrrr-est,” and “Arrr-ange,” and “Biz-arrre.”
  • Are → Arrr: As in, “All bets arrr off,” and “Arrr you deaf?” and “Here you arrr,” and “How arrr you?” and “My lips arrr sealed,” and “What arrr the odds?” and “My hands arrr tied,” and “Two heads arrr better than one.”
  • *ore* → *arr*: As in, “Age befarr beauty,” and “Befarr it was cool,” and “Befarr your time,” and “Bite off marr than you can chew,” and “Marr money than god,” and “Marr than meets the eye.”
  • *or* → *arrr*: As in, “Apples and arrranges,” and “This arrr that?”
  • Air → Arrr: As in, “Breath of fresh arrr,” and “Clear the arrr,” and “Dancing on arrr,” and “Arrr guitar,” and “Melt into thin arrr,” and “Out of thin arrr,” and “Spring is in the arrr,” and “Arrrbnb.”
  • R → Arrr: As in, “Arrr2D2,” and “ArrrnB.”
  • Aye: As in, “Aye aye, sir,” and “The ayes have it.” Note: “the ayes have it” is a confirmation that majority of a group have voted in the affirmative. 
  • Eye → Aye: As in, “A wandering aye,” and “All fun and games until someone loses and aye,” and “An aye for an aye,” and “Avert one’s ayes,” and “Beauty is in the aye of the beholder,” and “Bedroom ayes,” and “Before your very ayes,” and “Bright ayes,” and “Aye to aye,” and “A fresh pair of ayes,” and “In the twinkling of an aye,” and “Ayes bigger than your stomach,” and “All ayes.” Note: a wandering eye is when someone is attracted to people other than their current romantic, monogamous partner. 
  • I → Aye: As in, “What can aye say?” and “Aye can help,” and “Aye think so.” 
  • Buy → B-aye: As in, “B-aye now, pay later,” and “B-aye and sell,” and “B-aye into,” and “B-aye some time,” and “Money can’t b-aye you love,” and “The best that money can b-aye,” and “Would you b-aye a used car from this man?”
  • By → B-aye: As in, “B-aye a landslide,” and “B-aye all accounts,” and “B-aye any means,” and “B-aye any stretch of the imagination,” and “B-aye hook or b-aye crook,” and “B-aye my own hand,” and “Cheaper b-aye the dozen,” and “Do b-aye halves,” and “Fall b-aye the wayside,” and “Lead b-aye the nose.” To do something by halves is to not put very much enthusiasm or energy into it. 
  • Bye → B-aye: As in, “Kiss goodb-aye to,” and “Can never say goodb-aye.”
  • I’ll → Aye’ll: As in, “Aye’ll say,” and “Well aye’ll be damned,” and “Ask me no questions, aye’ll tell you no lies,” and “Aye’ll be back,” and “You scratch my back and aye’ll scratch yours.”
  • Eye* → Aye*: As in, “Ayeball,” and “Ayebrow,” and “Ayesore,” and “Ayelash,” and “Bulls-aye.” Note: an eyesore is an unpleasant sight.
  • Ah* → Aye*: Words with an “ah” sound can be changed to “aye” – aye-balaone (abalone), aye-bbreviate (abbreviate), aye-bility (ability), aye-ble (able), aye-bnormal (abnormal), aye-bsolutely (absolutely), aye-ccommodation (accommodation), aye-dmire (admire), aye-mless (aimless), aye-lternative (alternative).
  • Ale → Aye’l: As in, “No more cakes and aye’l?”
  • Ahoy: As in, “Ahoy there,” and “Land ahoy.”
  • Mate → Matey: As in, “Billy no mateys,” and “Matey’s rates,” and “Seeking a soul matey.” Note: Billy no mates is a mocking term for someone with no friends. 
  • Might → Mate: As in, “Cheer up, it mate never happen,” and “Mate as well,” and “Pigs mate fly,” and “The pen is mate-ier than the sword,” and “Mate as well quit.” Note: “the pen is mightier than the sword” means that the media is more powerful than the military. 
  • Meet → Mate: As in, “Fancy mate-ing you here!” and “Make ends mate,” and “Mate and greet,” and “Mate in the middle,” and “More than mates the eye,” and “Please to mate you,” and “Mate your match.”
  • *mate*: Emphasise the “mate” in certain words – material, maternal, ultimate, intimate, consummate, legitimate, estimate, penultimate, decimate, approximate, climate, amateur, animate, automate, checkmate, classmate, cremate, playmate, primate, roommate, stalemate, teammate. Notes: consummate means perfect, or complete in every way. Penultimate means second last. To decimate something is to destroy or devastate it. 
  • *mat*: We can change words that have the “mate” sound to visually include it as well: Mate-riarch (matriarch), mate-rix (matrix), mate-ron (matron) and tomate-o (tomato). Notes: a matriarch is a woman who acts as the head of a group. A matrix is a set of conditions or boundaries in which a thing develops. 
  • I’ve asked → Avast: As in, “Avast her to marry me.”
  • My heart → Me hearty: As in, “A man after me own hearty,” and “Absence makes me hearty grow fonder,” and “Break me hearty,” and “Cross me hearty and hope to die,” and “Don’t go breaking me hearty,” and “Home is where me hearty is,” and “In me hearty of hearts,” and “Set me hearty on.” Notes: To speak of your heart of hearts is to reveal your innermost thoughts. 
  • There → Thar: As in, “Ahoy thar!” and “Are we thar yet?” and “As if thar were no tomorrow,” and “Be thar in spirit,” and “Be thar or be square,” and “Been thar, done that,” and “Don’t go thar,” and “Hang in thar,” and “Here and thar,” and “Here thar be beasts,” and “Here, thar, and everywhere,” and “Hold it right thar!” and “Let thar be light,” and “The truth is out thar,” and “Thar’s no place like home,” and “Thar’s no time like the present.”
  • Their → Thar: As in, “Children and thar toys,” and “Swept of thar feet,” and “Everybody and thar brother,” and “Forgive your enemies – but don’t forget thar names,” and “They learned thar lesson.”
  • They’re → Thar: As in, “Thar blowing in the wind,” and “Thar not okay.”
  • *yo → *yo ho ho: As in, “Tokyo-ho ho,” and “Embryo-ho ho,” and “Mayo-ho ho,” and “Yo yo-ho ho.”
  • Rum: As in, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum,” and “Where’s the rum?” 
  • *rum*: Emphasise the “rum” sound in certain words: “Fo-rum,”, “Inst-rum-ent,”, “St-rum,” and “Rum-ble,”, “Rum-inate,”, “Rum-p,”, “Rum-mage,”, “Spect-rum,”, “D-rum,”, “Deco-rum,”, “Tant-rum,”, “Sc-rum,”, “Se-rum,”, “Conund-rum.” 
  • Drum and bass → Rum and bass (Note: drum and bass is a music genre)
  • Boot → Booty: As in, “Tough as old bootys,” and “Bet your bootys,” and “Booty camp,” and “Give someone the booty,” and “Big bootys to fill,” and “My heart sank into my bootys,” and “I got the booty.” 
  • Booty: As in, “Shake your booty.” 
  • Beauty → Booty: As in, “Booty sleep,” and “Make booty-ful music,” and “Booty is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Booty is only skin-deep.” 
  • *boo → *booty: As in, “Tabooty,” and “Bambooty,” and “Peekabooty.” 
  • Treasure: As in, “Hidden treasure,” and “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” and “Treasure chest,”, “Treasure trove,” and “Buried treasure.” 
  • Land → Landlubber: As in, “The landlubber of the free,” and “The landlubber that time forgot,” and “The law of the landlubber,” and “The length and breadth of the landlubber,” and “This landlubber is your landlubber,” and “Far into the bowels of the landlubber,” and “See how the landlubber lies.” Notes: the land that time forgot is a fantasy film. The law of the land refers to all laws within a country or region. To see how the land lies is to determine as many facts as you can about a situation before making a decision or action. 
  • Encourage → Anchorage: As in “Stop anchoraging him!”.
  • Pieces → Pieces of eight: As in, “Dash to pieces of eight,” and “Bits and pieces of eight.” Notes: pieces of eight were large silver coins and is a famous pirate treasure due to its value. 
  • Double → Doubloon: As in, “Doubloon back,” and “Doubloon booked,” and “Doubloon over,” and “A doubloon-edged sword,” and “A doubloon date,” and “A doubloon whammy.” Note: a double-edged sword is something that could provide both benefits and disadvantages. 
  • Lot → Loot: As in, “A loot of fuss about nothing,” and “A loot on your plate,” and “Leaves a loot to be desired,” and “Not a loot.” 
  • *loot*: Make some swashbuckling pirate puns by emphasising the “loot” sound in certain words: “Solootion,” and “Resolootion,” and “Revolootion,” and “Evolootion,” and “Abso-loot,” and “Convolooted,” and “Floot (flute),” and “Di-loot (dilute),” and “Plooto,” and “Pollootant,” and “Saloot (salute).”
  • Late → Loot: As in, “Better loot than never,” and “Catch you loot-er,” and “Read any good books loot-ely?” and “It’s never too loot to learn,” and “A loot bloomer,” and “It’s loot in the day,” and “See you loot-er, alligator.” 
  • Let → Loot: As in, “Loot it be,” and “Loot it bleed,” and “Friends don’t loot friends drive drunk,” and “I won’t loot you down,” and “Loot nature take its course,” and “Loot off steam,” and “Loot your conscience be your guide,” and “Loot your hair down,” and “I never want to loot you go.” 
  • *let → *loot: As in, “A shrinking vio-loot,” and “Run the gaunt-loot,” and “A magic bul-loot,” and “Ske-loot-ons in the closet,” and “Bite the bul-loot.” 
  • Bound → Bounty: As in, “By leaps and bounties,” and “Homeward bounty,” and “On the rebounty,” and “Out of bounty.” 
  • Chest: As in, “Get it off your chest,” and “Hold your cards close to your chest,” and “That old chestnut,” and “Treasure chest.”
  • Chased → Chest: As in, “I chest after him.”
  • Grog: As in, “Where’s the grog?” and “I’m feeling groggy.” Note: Grog is a name for an alcoholic drink made of rum and water. 
  • God → Grog: As in, “An act of grog,” and “All things are possible with grog,” and “A child of grog,” and “For the love of grog,” and “Grog fearing,” and “A man of grog.” 
  • Hook: As in, “By  hook or by crook,” and “Get hooked on,” and “Hook, line and sinker,” and “Hook up with,” and “I’m hooked,” and “Let off the hook.” Notes: “By hook or by crook” means by any means necessary. To fall for something hook, line and sinker means you’ve accepted an idea or explanation entirely without critically examining what you’ve been told.
  • Peg → Pegleg: As in, “Square pegleg in a round hole,” and “Take down a pegleg or two.” Note: a square peg in a round hole describes something that doesn’t fit into its environment – the odd one out.  
  • Leg → Pegleg: As in, “Fast as his peglegs could carry him,” and “Break a pegleg,” and “Cost an arm and a pegleg,” and “Peglegs like tree trunks,” and “On his last peglegs,” and “Shake a pegleg,” and “Tail between your peglegs,” and “Without a pegleg to stand on,” and “You’re pulling my pegleg,” and “Stretch my peglegs.” Notes: if you’re on your last legs, then you’re near to exhaustion, death or giving up. To shake a leg is to hurry or begin something. If you don’t have a leg to stand on, you’re in a very rocky and disadvantageous position. 
  • Leg* → Pegleg*:  As in, “Peg-legacy,” and “What a peg-legend,” and “A peg-legitimate business,” and “Peg-legal,” and “Peg-legible,” and “Peg-legislation.”
  • Eyepatch → Aye-patch 
  • Eye → Eyepatch: As in, “All fun and games until somebody loses and eyepatch,” and “Avert one’s eyepatch,” and “Better than a poke in the eyepatch with a sharp stick,” and “More than meets the eyepatch,” and “Not a dry eyepatch in the house,” and “Turn a blind eyepatch,” and “Catch someone’s eyepatch.”
  • Crew: As in, “Motley crew,” and “Skeleton crew.” Notes: a skeleton crew is the minimum number of workers needed to operate an undertaking. A motley crew is a band of seemingly mismatched individuals of different backgrounds, personalities and appearances. 
  • Roger → Jolly roger: As in, “Jolly roger that.” Note: Jolly roger is the traditional English name for pirate flags.   
  • *crew: As in, “Screw it,” and “Unscrew,” and “Screwdriver,” and “Corkscrew.” 
  • Chew → Crew: As in, “Bite off more than you can crew,” and “Crew it over.” Note: to chew something over is to consider something at length.
  • *cru* → *crew*: Change words that have the “cru” sound in them to “crew” to make pirate puns: “Ac-crew,” and “Crew-cial,”, “Crew-cifix,”and “Crew-de,”, “Crew-l,” and “Crew-lty,”, “Crew-se,”, “Crew-sade,”, “Ex-crew-ciating,”, “Ins-crew-table,”, “Re-crew-t,”, “S-crew-pulous,”, “S-crew-ples,”, “S-crew-tinise,” and “S-crew-tiny.” Notes: to accrue is to slowly increase the amount you have of something over time. To be scrupulous is to be very honest.
  • Gutless → Cutlass: As in, “The cutlass wonder.” Note: this is a derogotary term used to indicate if someone is lacking in bravery.
  • Tank → Tankard: As in, “Built like a tankard,” and “Empty the tankard,” and “Think tankard.” Note: a think tank is a research group. 
  • Wash → Swashbuckle: As in, “All swashbuckled up,” and “Lost in the swashbuckle.” 
  • Buckle → Swashbuckle: As in, “Swashbuckle down,” and “Swashbuckle under the strain.” 
  • Ship: As in, “Abandon ship,” and “Loose lips sink ships,” and “Run a tight ship,” and “Shape up or ship out,” and “Ships that pass in the night,” and “That ship has sailed,” and “The start of a beautiful friendship,” and “Worship the ground someone walks on,” and “A stormy relationship.” Notes: Loose lips sink ships is a warning against gossip or unguarded talk. Ships in the night is a descriptor for strangers who meet for a short and intense moment and never meet again. 
  • Shop → Ship: As in, “All over the ship,” and “Shipping cart.”
  • Shape → Ship: As in, “All ships and sizes,” and “Get into ship,” and “The ship of things to come.” 
  • *ship: As in, “Relationship,”, “Worship,”, “Fellowship,”, “Leadership,”, “Scholarship,”, Friendship,” and “Hardship.” 
  • *sip* → *ship*: If a word contains “sip” it can usually be replaced with “ship”. For example: gosship (gossip), dishipate (dissipate), shipping (sipping), inshipid (insipid). See the boat puns entry for more.
  • *sib* → *ship*: If a word contains “sib” it can usually be replaced with “ship” to create a terrible pun. For example: posshiply (possibly), accesshipility (accessibility), incomprehenshiple, feashipble, irresponshipble, invishipble, ostenshipbly, revershipble, vishipble. An example sentence might be: “I am responshiple for my puns.”  See the boat puns entry for more.
  • Dec* → Deck*: As in, “Deck-line,” and “Deckree,”, “Deckadent,”, “Deckay,” and “Deckorum,”, “Deckade,” and “Decklaration,” and “Decksterity (dexterity).”
  • Deck: As in, “All hands on deck,” and “Deal from the bottom of the deck,” and “All decked out,” and “A stacked deck,” and “Triple decker.” Notes: To deal from the bottom of the deck is to put someone at a disadvantage using dishonest methods. To stack the deck is to arrange a situation in an unfair way against someone or something.  
  • Duck → Deck: As in, “Deck the question,” and “Decking and diving,” and “Like a deck to water,” and “Like water of a deck’s back,” and “Nice weather for decks.” 
  • Shirk → Shark: As in “Stop sharking your responsibilities and get the job done.”
  • Shiver: When sharks travel in groups, they’re called “shivers”. Example sentence: “Shark puns give me the shivers,” and “Shiver me timbers!”
  • Wish → Fish: As in “I just fish we had more time!” and “If you rub the lamp you get three fishes“.
  • Confiscate → Conch-fish-scate: As in “I’m going to have to conchfishcate your pun licence for that one.”
  • *fici* → *fishi*: If a word contains “fici” it can often be replaced with “fishi”. Here are some examples: affishionado, artifishial, benefishial, coeffishient, defishiency, defishit, ineffishient, suffishient, ofishial, profishient, superfishial.
  • Issue → Fishue: As in “That’s not the fishue here though.” and “I was fishued a sign for parking without a ticket”.
  • Umbrage → Um-brig: As in, “She took um-brig at his oblivious comments.” Notes: umbrage is offence or annoyance. 
  • Bring → Brig: As in, ‘Brig it on,” and “Brig it up,” and “You brig out the best in me,” and “Brig tears to your eyes,” and “Brig the house down,” and “Brig to a head,” and “Brig to the boil,” and “Brig to the table,” and “Brig people closer together,” and “Brig-ging up the rear.” To bring something to a head is to intensify a situation to the point that action must be taken. 
  • Bridge → Brig: As in, “Brig the gap,” and “Water under the brig,” and “We’ll cross that brig when we get to it.” Note: water under the bridge refers to past problems that are no longer stressful or troublesome. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it means to not worry or stress about a possible situation until it actually happens. 
  • But → Boat: As in “Last boat not least” and “Close, boat no cigar,” and “Everything boat the kitchen sink.”
  • Saboteur → Saboateur : As in “Captain, I believe there’s a saboateur on our ship.”
  • Boat: As in, “Don’t rock the boat,” and “In the same boat,” and “Missed the boat,” and “Whatever floats your boat,” and “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Notes: to rock the boat is to say something that will upset the people around you. If you need a bigger boat, then you’ve underestimated the situation you’re in. 
  • Butt → Boat: As in, “Kick boat,” and “Kiss my boat,” and “Pain in the boat,” and “My boat is on the line,” and “Boat-terflies in my stomach.” 
  • Bowtie → Boat-tie: As in, “My boat-tie is too tight.” 
  • Beaut* → Boat*: As in, “Boat-iful people,” and “Boat-y mark,” and “I need my boat-y sleep,” and “Make boat-iful music together,” and “Boat-y is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Boat-y is only skin-deep.”
  • About/Abode → Aboat: As in “What aboat the captain?” and “Welcome to my aboat!”
  • What about → Water boat: As in “Water boat we have tofu curry for dinner tonight?” and “Water boat Daisy? Does she want to come to the beach too?”
  • Captain: As in, “Captain Hook,” and “Only the best for the captain’s table,” and “The captain’s pick.” 
  • Sel* → Sail*: If a word starts with “sel” a boat pun can often be made by replacing it with “sail”: sailection (selection), sailect (select), sailf (self), sailling (selling), sail (sell), saildom (seldom), sailfish (selfish), sailfless (selfless), sailective (selective).
  • Assail: As in “We were assailed by pirates on our way here.” and “This ship is unassailable.”
  • Sale → Sail: As in “There’s a big sail down at the boat store.”
  • *sale* → *sail*: Words containing “sale” can be turned into sailing puns: presail, resail, sailsclerk, sailsperson, wholesail.
  • Sell → Sail: As in, “Buy and sail,” and “Past its sail-by date,” and “Sail your soul to the devil,” and “Sailing like hot cakes.”
  • Sail*: As in, “Hello, sailor,” and “Plain sailing,” and “Sail away,” and “Smooth sailing,” and “Take the wind from my sails,” and “That ship has sailed.” Notes: to take the wind from someone’s sails is to discourage or cause them to lose hope and momentum. If that ship has sailed, then an opportunity has been missed and cannot be returned to. 
  • Exhale → Ex-sail: As in, “Inhale, ex-sail.”
  • *sil*→ *sail*: Words with a “sil” sound can be changed to “sail”: “Imbesail (imbecile),” and “Reconsail (reconcile),” and “Sailence (silence).”
  • Reckon → Wrecken: As in “Do you wrecken we’ll make it through the storm?” and “I am a force to be wreckened with.”
  • *rec* → *wreck*: Use words that have a “rec” sound to make nautical pirate puns: “Di-wrecked (direct),” and “Di-wreck-tion (direction),”, “E-wrecked (erect),”, “Wreck-ognise (recognise),”, “Pre-wreck-quisite (prerequisite),”, “Wreckless (reckless),”, “Wreckommend (recommend),”, “Wreckord (record),”, “Wrecktangle,” and “Wrecktify (rectify).”
  • Wreck: The word “wreck” has a few meanings other than shipwreck, including slang ones (like “Ohhh rekt!” and “He’s an emotional wreck.”) and the regular, formal ones (Like “My wedding was wrecked by the storm”).
  • Sea: As in, “All at sea,” and “Between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Deeper than the deep blue sea,” and “A sea change,” and “Other fish in the sea,” and “Sea legs.” Note: to have to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea is to be in a dilemma where both outcomes are undesirable. Sea legs is the skill of keeping one’s balance when on a boat or ship. 
  • *Sea*: As in, “Backseat driver,” and “The best seat,” and “Break the seal,” and “My lips are sealed,” and “Strawberry season,” and “In search of,” and “Bursting at the seams,” and “Buckle your seatbelt,” and “I’m feeling nausea,” and “Guard against disease,” and “Do your research.”
  • See → Sea: As in, “As far as the eye can sea,” and “Be the change you wish to sea in the world,” and “Can’t sea beyond the end of your nose,” and “Can’t sea the wood for the trees,” and “Come and sea me,” and “Sea no evil,” and “I call ’em as I sea ’em,” and “Long time no sea,” and “Monkey sea, monkey do,” and “I’m not sea-ing anyone,” and “Nowhere to be sea-n,” and “Sea eye to eye (or sea aye to aye might be more appropriate),” and “Sea the bigger picture,” and “Sea what the future has in store,” and “Sea-ing is believing,” and “I’ve sea-n better days,” and “Plant a sea-d.” Notes: If you can’t see the wood for the trees, then you’re unable to see the bigger picture because you’re too focused on the smaller details of the situation. 
  • She → Sea: As in, “By George, I think sea’s got it!” and “Every little thing sea does is magic,” and “I’ll have what sea’s having,” and “Steady as sea goes,” and “Thar sea blows.”
  • *see/cy* → *sea*: If a word has the “see” sound in it, we can use it to make nautical (naughty) pirate puns: “Absorben-sea (absorbency),”, “Accura-sea (accuracy),”, “Accountan-sea (accountancy),”, “Adequa-sea (adequacy),”, “Advoca-sea (advocacy),”, “Agen-sea (agency),”, “Ant-sea (antsy),”, “Aristocra-sea (aristocracy),”, “Beseach (beseech),”, “Sea-ge (seige),”, “Sea-d (seed),”, “Boun-sea (bouncy),”, “Candida-sea (candidacy),”, “Sea-dar (cedar),”, “Sea-ling (ceiling),”, “Competen-sea (competency),”, “Conseal (conceal),”, “Conseat (conceit),”, “Conspira-sea (conspiracy),”, “Curren-sea (currency),” and “Diploma-sea (diplomacy).”
  • Se* → Sea*: Some words that start with just “se” also have a “sea”-ish sound, and the ones that don’t can usually be made into terrible puns anyway: seacret, searious, seargeant, seacretion, seacure, seacurity, seacondary, seacretariat, seaconds, seacrete, searum, searenity, searvitude, seanile, seadation, seaclusion, seacretive, seaze, seaquential, sealection, seacretly, seaquences, seanior, seaniority, seagregate, seaping, seacession, seariousness, seaminars, seaveral, seaxual, seaparation, seantimental, seansational, seaquential, seacluded, seacularist, seathing, seaquin, seasame, seaclusion.
  • Seizure → Seazure: As in “If I read one more ocean pun I’m going to have a seazure.”
  • Scenic → Seanic: As in “Let’s take the seanic route.”
  • Ocean: As in, “A life on the ocean waves,” and “A drop in the ocean,” and “The motion of the ocean.” Note: a drop in the ocean is a tiny amount compared to what is actually needed. 
  • *o-shun* → *ocean*: We can make pirate puns using words that have the “o-shun” sound in them: “M-ocean (motion),”, “Em-ocean (emotion),”, “N-ocean (notion),”, “L-ocean (lotion),”, “Expl-ocean (explosion),”, “P-ocean (potion),”, “Comm-ocean (commotion),”, “Dem-ocean (demotion),”, “Dev-ocean (devotion),” and “Prom-ocean (promotion).” 
  • *wobb* → *swab*: As in, “Throw a swab-bly,” and “The colly-swabbles.” Notes: A swab is another term for mops used in cleaning ship decks. Swabbing is another word for mopping, or cleaning ship decks, and a swabber is someone who performs this task.  
  • Parrot: As in, “Sick as a parrot,” and “Parrot-fashion.” Notes: to do something in parrot-fashion means automatically or mechanically, without thought or real understanding. To be sick as a parrot is to be extremely ill or disappointed. 
  • *part → *parrot: As in, “A fool and his money are soon parroted,” and “It was good in some parrots,” and “I’ve been sad since the day we parroted,” and “If you’re not a parrot of the solution, you’re parrot of the problem,” and “Drift a-parrot,” and “Fall a-parrot,” and “No-one in parrot-icular,” and “House-warming parrot-y,” and “Get the parrot-y started,” and “Life of the parrot-y,” and “Parrot-ing of the ways,” and “Worlds a-parrot,” and “What parrot of ‘no’ don’t you understand?” 
  • Prepared → Pre-parrot: As in, “Chance favours the pre-parrot mind,” and “Here’s one I pre-parrot earlier,” and “Be pre-parrot.” 
  • Paradise→ Parrot-ise: As in, “A taste of parrot-ise,” and “Fool’s parrot-ise,” and “Trouble in parrot-ise.”
  • Carrot → Parrot: As in, “Parrot and stick.” Note: the carrot and stick are metaphors for using a mixture of reward and punishment to teach certain behaviours. 
  • *rot → *parrot: As in, “Parrot in hell,” and “Spoiled parrot-ten,” and “One parrot-ten apple can spoil the barrel,” and “Parrot-ten to the core.” Note: a rotten apple spoiling the barrel is a metaphor for one single bad influence (whether it be a person, belief, or personality trait) wrecking the entire thing or group. 
  • Sea → Sea dog: As in, “Between the devil and the deep blue sea dog,” and “Sun, sea dog and sand.” Note: a sea dog is someone who is experienced at sea. 
  • Gallery → Galley: As in, “A new art galley.” Note: Galleys have two meanings: a kitchen in a ship, or a type of ship.
  • Alley → Galley: As in, “Galley cat,” and “Right up your galley.”
  • Cannon: As in, “Cannon fodder,” and “Loose cannon.” Notes: Cannon fodder is a  derogatory term for soldiers who are regarded by government as expendable. A loose cannon is a person who is likely to cause unintentional damage.
  • Cannibal → Cannonball: As in, “Corporate cannonballism.” Note: corporate cannibalism is where a company is seemingly “eating into” its own market of established products. 
  • Tears → Privateers: As in, “Blood, sweat and privateers,” and “Bathed in privateers,” and “Crocodile privateers,” and “Fighting back the privateers,” and “It will all end in privateers,” and “No more privateers.” Notes: a privateer is someone who is privately hired to engage in maritime warfare.
  • Wonder → Plunder: As in, “Gutless plunder,” and “It’s a plunder-ful life,” and “Nine days’ plunder,” and “A small plunder,” and “Where plunders never cease,” and “A one-hit plunder.” Note: to plunder is to loot and steal.
  • *anker → *anchor: most words ending in “anker” can be anchor puns: banchor (banker), tanchor (tanker), flanchor (flanker), hanchor (flanker), spanchor (flanker), danchor (danker).
  • Map: As in, “Mind map,” and “On the map,” and “All over the map.”
  • Mop → Map: As in, “Map the floor with.” Note: to mop the floor with someone is to thoroughly defeat them. 
  • Offer → Coffer: As in, “Open to coffers,” and “A coffer you can’t refuse.” Note: a coffer is a chest for treasure. 
  • Cover → Coffer: As in, “Blow your coffer,” and “Coffer to coffer,” and “Extra coffer,” and “We’ve got you coffered,” and “A startling dis-coffer-y!” 
  • Hold: As in, “Can’t hold a candle to,” and “Don’t hold your breath,” and “Got a hold on the wrong end of the stick,” and “Hold a grudge,” and “Hold a mirror up to society,” and “Hold a torch for,” and “Hold all the cards,” and “Hold at bay,” and “Hold back on,” and “Hold it right there!” and “No holds barred,” and “A sight to behold,” and “Lo and behold.” Notes: if you can’t hold a candle to something or someone, then you are very lowly in comparison to them. If there are no holds barred, that means that anything goes in a situation. Lo and behold is an exclamation demanding that one’s attention be directed to a certain thing. 
  • Cock → Coxswain: As in, “Coxswain and bull story.” Note: a coxswain is someone in charge of the navigation and steering of a boat. 
  • Board → Starboard: As in, “All above starboard,” and “Across the starboard.” Note: starboard refers to the right-side orientation on a boat. 
  • Plank: As in, “Take a long walk off a short plank,” and “Walk the plank.” Note: walking the plank was a method of execution used by pirates. Victims were bound so they were unable to swim, then made to walk off a wooden plank into the ocean. 
  • Blank → Plank: As in, “A plank slate,” and “Plank canvas,” and “A plank look,” and “Drawing a plank,” and “Point plank range,” and “I’m planking out,” and “Fill in the plank,” and “Wet plank-et.” Note: a wet blanket is someone that dampens enjoyment or excitement. 
  • Thank → Plank: As in, “Accept with planks,” and “Give planks,” and “Plank god it’s Friday,” and “Plank you for the music,” and “Planks for nothing,” and “Plank your lucky stars,” and “Be plankful.”
  • Sword: As in, “Cross swords with,” and “A double-edged sword,” and “Fall on your sword,” and “Put to the sword,” and “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Notes: a double-edged sword is a thing that provides both benefits and disadvantages. To put someone to the sword is to execute them. To say that the pen is mightier than the sword is to express that the the media is more powerful than the military.  
  • Sort → Sword: As in, “Last re-sword,” and “I’m out of swords,” and “Sword the wheat from the chaff,” and “Sword yourself out,” and “Sword of.” Note: to sort the wheat from the chaff is to sort valuable things or people from those that aren’t needed. 
  • Word → S-word: As in, “A picture paints a thousand s-words,” and “A s-word to the wise,” and “Actions speak louder than s-words,” and “As good as your s-word,” and “Don’t mince s-words,” and “Famous last s-words,” and “Get a s-word in edgeways,” and “The last s-word.” Note: to not mince your words is to not be gentle in your communications – to use blunt and direct language. 
  • Barely → Parley: As in, “Parley there,” and “Parley noticeable.” Note: to parley is to have negotiations with an opposing side. 
  • Sure → Shore: As in “Are you shore?” and “She shore is strong!” and “I shore will.”
  • Shore: As in, “Ship to shore,” and “Shore up.” Note: to shore up is to support something by placing something under or against it. 
  • Not → Knot: As in “Tell me this is knot happening.” and “Knot on my watch.”
  • Not → Naut: As in “I’m naut going to keep arguing with you,” and “Last but naut least,” and “Fear naut!”
  • Naughty → Nauty: As in “There’s that nauty sailor again”.
  • Specific → Pacific: As in “You need to be more pacific.” and “Are you sure you have the pacifications for this?” and “Pacifically, there are two apples and three nectarines.”
  • Passivist → Pascificist: As in “I’m a pascificst. Violence is never the answer.”
  • *ways → *waves: Words than end in “ways” can be made into bad wave puns: alwaves (always), railwaves (railways), sidewaves, pathwaves, lengthwaves, doorwaves.
  • Wave: “Wave goodbye” and “Mexican wave” and “Heat wave” and “Wave the white flag” and “Brain waves“.
  • Cog*: As in, “Cogito ergo sum,” and “Just another cog in the machine.” Notes: cogito ergo sum is a philosophical expression meaning “I think, therefore I am.” A cog is a type of ship. 
  • Clog → Cog: As in, “Clever cogs,” and “Cog up,” and “Pop your cogs.” Notes: Clever clogs is a disapproving way of saying that someone is clever, but in an irritating way. To pop your clogs is to die. 
  • *cog*: As in, “Cognitive,” and “Cognition,” and “Incognito,” and “Recognise,” and “Recognition.” 
  • Sooner → Schooner: As in “Schooner or later.” and “I’ll call her schoon“. A “schooner” is a sailing ship with two or more masts.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • Fathom: A “fathom” is a unit of length equal to 6 feet (~1.8m) and is most commonly used in reference to the depth of water. Example sentences: “I can’t fathom what she means.” and “It’s completely unfathomable!”
  • Overboard: As in, “Man overboard!” and “This is going overboard.”
  • Tack → Hardtack: As in, “As sharp as a hardtack.” Note: hardtack is a type of hard biscuit/bread that was commonly eaten on voyages due to it being cheap and long-lasting. 
  • Kraken: As in, “Release the kraken!” Note: the kraken is a legendary sea monster that is popular in pirate stories and mythology. 
  • Cracking → Kraken: As in, “Get kraken!” 
  • Crack → Kraken: As in, “At the kraken of dawn,” and “Kraken a smile,” and “Have a kraken at it,” and “Snap, kraken, and pop.”
  • Afraid → Afeared: As in, “Afeared of your own shadow,” and “Afeared so,” and “Be afeared, be very afeared,” and “Everything you always wanted to know but were afeared to ask,”  and “I’m not afeared of death.” Note: “afeared” is a common bit of pirate lingo. 
  • Go out → Gout: As in, “Don’t gout of your way,” and “Gout on a limb,” and “Gout with a bang,” and “Gout like a light,” and “Good manners never gout of style,” and “I’d like to gout.” Notes: gout is a disease that commonly afflicted pirates due to their lifestyle. 
  • About → Agout: As in, “Agout time,” and “It’s not all agout you,” and “Beat agout the bush,” and “No two ways agout it,” and “Nothing to write home agout,” and “Out and agout.”
  • *goat* → *gout*: As in, “Scapegout,” and “Nice goutee.” Note: a scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the mistakes or wrongdoings of others. 
  • Got → Gout: As in, “I think you’ve gout it,” and “Cat gout your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve gout,” and “She’s gout a flair for,” and “I’ve gout a soft spot for,” and “Gout it down to a fine art,” and “Hasn’t gout two cents to rub together,” and “Have I gout news for you,” and “The one that gout away.” 
  • Bulge → Bilge: As in, “Battle of the bilge.” Note: a bilge is the underwater part of a ship. Also used as a dismissive term for anything determined to be nonsense or rubbish.
  • Spot → Black spot: As in, “A leopard cannot change its black spots,” and “Got a soft black spot for,” and “Hit the black spot,” and “In a tight black spot,” and “X marks the black spot.” Note: a black spot is a marker of death in the pirating world. 
  • Dinghy → Dingy: A “dinghy” is a small boat and it sounds a bit like the word “dingy” which has multiple slang definitions including “gloomy and drab”.
  • Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
  • *sk if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “sk” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “Before giving it to her, askiff she wants it.” and “We’ll be back by duskiff we can fix this motor.” Many more words fit this pattern: riskiff (risk if), deskiff (desk if), taskiff (task if), diskiff, maskiff, briskiff, flaskiff, kioskiff, baskiff, whiskif, muskiff.
  • *s if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “s” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “As skiff!” and “You sound as skiff you’re a bit sick?” and “Ask us skiff you need anything!” There are obviously thousands of words ending in “s” so you can create your own puns using this formula with the help of a list like this.
  • Y’all → Yawl: As in “How are yawl doing today?” A yawl is a type of sailboat.
  • Cuddle → S-cuttle: As in, “S-cuttle buddy,” and “Want to s-cuttle?” Note: to scuttle is to sink a ship. 

The following puns are based on popular fictional pirates.

  • Pearl → Black pearl: As in, “A string of black pearls,” and “Black pearls of wisdom.” Note: The Black Pearl is the ship in the first movie of the Pirates of the Carribean series. 
  • Jack → Jack Sparrow: As in, “All work and no play makes Jack Sparrow a dull boy,” and “Every Jack Sparrow has his Jill.” Note: Jack Sparrow is a fictional pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean series. 
  • Hook → Captain Hook: As in, “By Captain Hook or by crook,” and “Captain Hook, line, and sinker,” and “I’m Captain Hooked.”
  • One → One Piece:  As in, “All for One Piece and One Piece for all,” and “An army of One Piece,” and “And then there was One Piece,” and “Down it in One Piece.” Note: One Piece is a wildly popular manga about pirates. 
  • Fluffy → F-luffy: As in, “A f-luffy bunny.” Note: Luffy is the Captain of the Straw Hat pirates and the main protagonist from One Piece. 
  • Tsunami → Tsu-nami: As in, “Wreckage from the tsu-nami,” and “There’s a tsu-nami coming.” Note: Nami is the navigator for the Straw Hat pirates from One Piece. 
  • Gold → Gol D. Roger: As in, “After the Gol D rush,” and “All that glitters is not Gol D,” and “As good as Gol.D Roger,” and “Fool’s Gol D,” and “Get a Gol D star,” and “A heart of Gol D,” and “A Gol D mine.” Note: Gol.D Roger is the legendary Pirate King in One Piece. 
  • Straw → Straw Hat: As in, “A drowning man will clutch at a straw hat,” and “The last straw hat,” and “Draw the short straw hat.” 

Pirate-Related Words

To help you come up with your own pirate puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. We’ve split these words up into categories to make it easier to read and use. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: pirate, crew, rum, booty, treasure, pieces of eight, doubloon, loot, bounty, grog, tankard, boatswain, swashbuckle/swashbuckler, hook, pegleg, eyepatch, skull and crossbones, jolly roger, buccaneer, cutlass, mutiny, ship, deck, brig, flog, sea, blunderbuss, davy jones’ locker, jack, black spot, gout, hardtack, privateer, plunder, pillage, coffer, swab/swabber, scallywag, rapscallion, scuttle, sea dog, captain, ocean, boat, first mate, swab, hold, map, telescope, parrot, anchor, poop deck, bilge, coxswain, starboard, plank, sail, wreck, chest, scurvy, galley, cannon, marooned, hornswaggle, parley, shore, harbour, pier, nautical, clipper, cog, galleon, long boat, schooner, sloop, fathom, port, overboard, kraken

Lingo: arr, aye aye, ahoy, matey, avast ye, hearty, me hearties, shiver me timbers, landlubber, thar she blows, yo ho ho, cap’n, afeared, lily-livered, bilge rat

Fictional: black pearl, pirates of the carribean, jack sparrow, elizabeth swann, bluebeard, captain hook, flying dutchman,  one piece, luffy, nami, sanji, zoro, usopp, gol.d roger, straw hat pirates, tony chopper, nico robin, franky, brook, jimbei, captain feathersword

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