Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cow puns! 🐮🐄 The list contains bull puns, calf puns, udder puns, and quite a few others based around cow-related topics, but this entry is a work-in-progress, so please help us by submitting more puns in the comments at the bottom 🙂
As always, Punpedia does its best to be a cruelty-free site, so we won’t be including any jokes or puns about branding, slaughtering, or bull-fighting. While we do have lists on dairy products (see our cheese puns, chocolate puns and milk puns), we encourage everyone to learn about the dairy industry. Check out how cool cows are (it’s a video), and enjoy the puns!
Cow Puns List
Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cows that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of cow puns:
- Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “How now, brown cow?” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
- Bull: Likewise, there are several idioms/phrases that are easy bull puns: “A cock-and-bull story” and “Like a bull in a china shop” and “Bull-headed” and “Grab the bull by its horns” and “Full of bull” and “Bull’s-eye” and “Mess with the bull and you get the horns” and “Hung like a bull” and “Bull-headed” and “What a load of bull/BS” and “Bullish (aggressively confident)” and “Like a red flag to a bull“
- Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
- Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
- Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
- Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This wasn’t a cowincidence.”
- *cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
- Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
- *kow*→ *cow*: As in, “Don’t cowtow to them.” Note: to kowtow is to bow deeply in a show of respect.
- *kew*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowpie doll,” and “Cowpie mayonnaise.” Note: Kewpie is both a Japanese brand of mayonnaise and a type of doll.
- *ka*→ *cow*: As in, Eurecow, vodcow, Alascow, papricow, remarcowble, remarkcowble, and lakcowdaisical.
- *ca*→ *cow*: As in, “Americow can do better,” and “Circow 1999,” and “A loud advocowte (advocate).” Other suitable words: meccow (mecca), Africow (Africa), orcow (orca), alpacow (alpaca), broadcowst (broadcast), implicowtion (implication), occowsion (occasion), applicowtion (application), indicowtion (indication), and dedicowte (dedicate).
- *cau*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowt between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Cowt with your pants down,” and ” Err on the side of cowtion,” and “A lost cowse,” and “Throw cowtion to the wind,” and “Wouldn’t be cowt dead.” Other suitable words: cowstic (caustic), cowtious (cautious), cowcasian (caucasian), cowldron (cauldron), becowse (because).
- *bull*: If a word contains the “bull” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly bull pun: bulldog, bulldozer, bulletins, bullies, bullied, bullion, bullocks, bullwark (bulwark), bullevard (boulevard).
- Pull→ Bull: As in, “Like bulling teeth,” and “Bulling away,” and “Bull a face,” and “Bull a fast one,” and “Bull up short,” and “Bulling the strings,” and “Bull the pin,” and “Bull your finger out,” and “Bull your socks up,” and “Bull yourself together.”
- *bal*→ *bull*: As in, “Hanging in the bullance,” and “Bullance the books,” and “A bullpark estimate,” and “Go down like a lead bulloon,” and “Stop eyebulling (eyeballing) me,” and “Go bullistic,” and “What bulloney (baloney),” and “The hairy eyebull.” Other words that would work: bullk (balk), bullot (ballot), globull (global), verbull (verbal), tribull (tribal), cymbull (cymbal), herbull (herbal), and footbull. Notes: to balk is to stop suddenly and not continue.
- *bel*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullieve it or not,” and “Bullieve you me,” and “Bullow the belt,” and “Hitting bullow your weight,” and “Seeing is bullieving,” and “Suspend your disbullief,” and “Opportunities are seldom labulled,” and “You don’t bullong in business.” Other words that would work: bulligerent (belligerent), bull (bell), bulloved (beloved), labull (label), rebull (rebel), decibull (decibel). Note: to hit below your weight is to perform under expectation.
- *bil*→ *bull*: As in, “Cut the umbullical cord,” and “Eliminate the possibullities,” and “Take responsibullity.” Other words that would work: bullow (billow), bullboard (billboard), bullion (billion), gerbull (gerbil), liabullity (liability), mobull (mobile), accountabullity (accountability), abullity (ability), capabullity (capability), rehabullitation (rehabilitation), sustainabullity (sustainability).
- *bol*→ *bull*: As in, “Bulldly go where no man has gone before,” and “Close the stable door after the horse has bullted,” and “Nuts and bullts,” and “Fortune favours the bull-d (bold).” Other words that would work: bullster (bolster), bullocks (bollocks), symbull, gambull (gambol), hyperbulle (hyperbole), abullish (abolish), metabullism. Note: to close the stable door after the horse has bolted is to look after a situation after things have gone badly.
- *bul*/*bull*: As in, “Bully for you,” and “Buy it in bullk,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “A lightbullb moment.” Other words that can work: bullwark (bulwark), bullb (bulb), bullge (bulge), bullsh*t, nebullous (nebulous), fabullous (fabulous), nebulla (nebula), and vocabullary (vocabulary). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s vague and without clear form.
- *boul*→ *bull*: As in, “Over the shoulder bullder (boulder) holder,” and “The bullevard (boulevard) of broken dreams.” Note: “over the shoulder boulder holder” is a very cheeky and colloquial term for a bra.
- *pal*→ *bull*: As in, “A princibull player.” Other “pal” containing words: bullindrome (palindrome), obull (opal), municibull (municipal), archetypebull (archetypal), bullpable (palpable), and bulltry (paltry). Notes: if something is paltry, then it’s a very small amount. A palindrome is a word that is the same forwards and backwards.
- *pel*→ *bull*: As in, “The gosbull (gospel) truth,” and “Disbulling (dispelling) rumours,” and “My dobullganger (doppelganger).”
- *pul*→ *bull*: As in, “Keep your finger on the bullse (pulse),” and “Beaten to a bullp,” and “I won’t be manibullated (manipulated) by you.” Other words that could work: bullchritude (pulchritude), bullpit (pulpit), bulley (pulley), bullmonary (pulmonary), bullverise (pulverise), stibullate (stipulate), imbullse (impulse), pobullist (populist), pobullar (popular), combullsory (compulsory), pobullation (population), obullent (opulent). Notes: if something is opulent, it’s luxurious.
- *pool*→ *bull*: As in, bullside (poolside), sbull (spool), cessbull, whirlbull, and carbull. Notes: a cesspool is an underground reservoir for liquid waste.
- *poul*→ *bull*: As in, bulltry (poultry), bulltice (poultice), and ambulle (ampoule). Notes: an ampoule is a small sealed container. A poultice is a medicated cloth used to treat aching and inflammation.
- *ple*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullead (plead) guilty,” and “I bulledge (pledge) my allegiance,” and “What a bulleasure (pleasure).” Other words you could use: bullethora (plethora), bullea (plea), bulleasant (pleasant), bullease (please), and abbull (apple), princibull, peobull (people), simbull (simple), stabull (stable/staple), exambull (example), multibull (multiple), coubull (couple), ambull (ample), combullement (complement), combullex (complex), imbullement (implement), and combullete (complete).
- Fool→Bull: As in, “A bull and his money are soon parted,” and “Act the bull,” and “Tom bullery (foolery).”
- *bl* → *bull*: terrabull (terrible), admirabull (admirable), assembull (assemble), audibull (audible), bullackmail (blackmail), bibull-iography (bibliography), bull-anket (blanket), bull-asphemy, bull-indfolded, bull-ister, bull-ockbuster, bubulling, Casabullanca, cold-bullooded (or cowld-bullooded), comfortabull, considerabull, concievabull, estabullish, dribull (dribble), fumbull (fumble), gambull, hobbull, grumbull, horribull, disabull (disable), impeccabull, imperceptibull, impossibull, improbabull, inescapabull, inexorabull, inextricabull, interchangabull, irresistabull, justifyabull, memorabull, mumbull, nobull (noble), miserabull, invariabull, irresistabull, interchangabull, predictabull, pro-bull-ems, pub-bull-ication, roadbullock (roadblock), suitabull, unreasonabull, unquestionabull, unavoidabull, understandabull, unbelievabull, tumbulling, trembulling, troubulling, inconcievabull.
- *moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
- Utter → Udder: As in “Udderly ridiculous!”
- Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
- *utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
- Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
- A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
- Heard → Herd: As in “I overherd them speaking about …” and “The last I herd, …” and “Your herd it here first.” and “You could have herd a pin drop.” and “Stop me if you’ve herd this one”
- Field: “I’m an expert in my field.”
- Hey → Hay: As in “Hay, what’s up?” and “Hay there, friend.”
- Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
- Who’ve → Hoof: As in “Hoof you spoken to so far?”
- Half → Hoof: As in “Is the glass hoof full or hoof empty?” and “My other/better hoof“
- Huff → Hoof: As in, “Hoofing paint,” and “A hoofy (huffy) attitude,” and “I belong in Hooflepuff (Hufflepuff),” and “Shoofling away,” and “Shoofling the deck,” and “Feeling choofed (chuffed).” Note: to feel chuffed is to feel very pleased.
- Half → Hoof: As in, “Ain’t hoof bad,” and “My better hoof,” and “Cheap at hoof the price,” and “Getting there is hoof the fun,” and “Hoof awake.” Other half-related words: hoofway (halfway), hoof-baked, hooftime (halftime), hoofhearted, and behoof (behalf).
- *hef* → *hoof*: As in, “A hoofty (hefty) promise,” and “Grand Thooft Auto,” and “Identity thooft.”
- *hif* → *hoof*: As in, “Working in shoofts,” and “A whoof of perfume,” and “Makeshooft tent,” and “Shoofty glances.”
- Have → Hoof/Hoove: As in, “As luck may hoove it,” and “Hoof your cake and eat it too,” and “Hoove a ball,” and “Hoof a bone to pick,” and “Hoof a go,” and “The walls hoove ears.”
- *hav* → *hoove*: As in, hoove (have), hooveoc (havoc), behooveiour, aftershoove, and behoove (behave).
- *hev* → *hoove*: As in, “Looking dishooveled (disheveled).”
- *hiv* → *hoove*: As in, “In the archooves,” and “Shoovers down my spine,” and “Choovealry (chivalry) is not dead, we just don’t know the meaning of it,” and “A beehoove (beehive) hairstyle.”
- *hov* → *hoove*: As in, hoover (hover), hoovel (hovel), hoovering (hovering), hoovercraft (hovercraft), shoovel and pushoover.
- Bye son → Bison: As in “Bison! Your mum will pick you up tonight.”
- Half → Calf: As in “I’m still calf asleep” and “I’ve got calf a mind to …” and “Calf measures”
- Coff* → Calf*: As in, “Artisan calffee (coffee),” and “Added to the calffers (coffers),” and “Company calf-founders,” and “Back from the calffin (coffin).”
- Caf* → Calf*: As in, calfe (cafe), calfeteria (cafeteria), calffeine (caffeine), decalf (decaf), scalffold (scaffold).
- *cuff* → *calf*: As in, calflink (cufflink), calfed (cuffed), scalffle (scuffle), fisticalfs (fisticuffs), handcalfs (handcuffs).
- Halves → Calves: As in, “Go calves,” and “Don’t do things by calves.”
- Have her → Heifer: As in “Heifer parents found out yet?”
- Forever → For heifer: As in “For heifer and heifer.”
- Tail: Use these tail-related phrases: “Happy as a dog with two tails,” and “Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” and “Bright eyed and busy tailed,” and “Can’t make head or tail of it,” and “Chase your own tail,” and “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” Note: two shakes of a lamb’s tail is a phrase used to indicated that something is very fast.
- Tale → Tail: As in, “Dead men tell no tails,” and “Fairytail ending,” and “Live to tell the tail,” and “Never tell tails out of school,” and “An old wives’ tail,” and “Tattle tail,” and “Tell tail sign.”
- Talent → Tailent: As in, “___’s got Tailent,” and “A tailented painter,” and “Where would you say your tailents lie?”
- Toilet → Tailet: As in, “Down the tailet,” and “In the tailet.”
- Style → Stail: As in, hairstail, freestail, lifestail, and stailus (stylus)
- Tile → Tail: As in, fertail (fertile), percerntail (percentile), projectail (projectile), reptail (reptile), and versatail (versatile).
- Her before → Herbivore: As in “I’ve never met herbivore.”
- Passed/Past your → Pasture: As in “It’s just pasture house on the left.” and “I pasture stall at the fair today but you weren’t there.” and “It’s pasture bedtime.”
- Could → Cud: As in “Cud you stop it please?” and “As fast as her legs cud carry her” and “I cud do it in my sleep.”
- Man you’re → Manure: As in “Manure making some awful puns today.”
- Remnant → Ruminant: As in “I haven’t a ruminant of pride left after making all these terrible cow puns.” (A “ruminant” is a family of hoofed mammals comprising cows, sheep, deer, giraffe and their relatives)
- Prominent → Pruminant: As in “She’s a pruminant member of our group.”
- Permanent → Pruminant: As in “I’ve accidentally used pruminant marker on the whiteboard.”
- Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
- Go to sleep → Hit the hay: As in “It’s late. I better hit the hay.”
Cow-Related Words
Here are a few cow-related words to help you come up with your own cow puns:
moo, bovine, heifer, bison, manure, udder, ruminant, calf, calves, pasture, grass, oxen, bull, domesticated, buffalo, hoof, hooves, horns, herd, cloven hoof, herbivore, cow patty, hay, cud, manure
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