Cooking Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cooking puns! 🍳🍴🍲 In this entry you’ll find everything from baking puns to oven puns to pots and pans puns, and everything in between.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on food, pasta, pizza, curry, pie, and vegetables.

Cooking Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cooking that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Cook: Other than the obvious definition it can also refer to “altering dishonestly”, as in “They cooked the numbers and were done for fraud” (The phrases “cooked the books” and “cooked the accounts” are synonymous). Some cooking-related idioms and phrases are: “What’s cooking?” and “Too many cooks spoil the broth”
  • Cooked: “If mum and dad find out we took their car last night, we’re cooked!” and “He has been drinking since lunch time – he’s cooked.”
  • Kooky → Cooky: The term “kooky” means strange or eccentric.
  • Back → Bake: As in “Bake in my day…” and “As soon as my bake is turned” and “At the bake of my mind” and “Bake to the Future” and “Bake in business” and “Bake in the saddle” and “Bake seat driver” and “Bake to school” and “Bake to the drawing board” and “Behind your bake” and “Come crawling bake” and “Behind my bake” and “Double bake” and “Get bake on your feet” and “Bake to bake” and “Kick bake and enjoy” and “Like water off a duck’s bake” and “Laid bake” and “Money bake guarantee” and “Never look bake” and “One step forward, two steps bake” and “Right bake at ya” and “Pat on the bake” and “Put your bake into it” and “Turn bake the clock” and “Wind at your bake” – There are many more baking puns like this to be made, but those should be enough to get you started.
  • Half-baked: This means “not completely planned or thought out”. For example: “Your half-baked cooking puns are going to make people angry.”
  • Break → Bake: As in “Bake out into a cold sweat” and “Bake the bank” and “Bake new ground” and “Ground-baking new research” and “Bake the mould” and “Make a clean bake” and “An even bake” and “And then all hell bakes loose” and “Bake a world record” and “Baking news!” and “Never bake your promises” and “Don’t bake their heart” and “Oh give me a bake.” and “Lucky bake
  • Chef: The saying “Too many chefs in the kitchen” refers to a situation where there are too many people trying to work on something such that the result is worse than if there had been less people. The phrase “chef d’oeuvre” (French: “chief work”) refers to a masterpiece, or an artist’s best piece of work. The phrase “chef de mission” (French: “chief of mission”) generally refers to the person in charge of a national team at an international sporting event.
  • Order: As in “Law and order” and “Luckily we managed to get out of there in short order (fast)” and “The pecking order” and “The machine is out of order.” and “In working order” and “In order to do that …” and “You’re out of order” and “That’s a tall order” and “You need to put your affairs in order” and “It’s a standing order, Sargent.” and “That’s bang out of order.” and “Gag order” and “It’s an order of magnitude bigger than we expected.” and “Order in the court!”
  • Boil: As in “It really just boils down to …” and “That man makes my blood boil” and “A watched pot never boils
  • Boil → Boyle: As in “Susan Boil” and “Robert Boil
  • Boy’ll (Boy will) → Boil: As in “That young boil go on to do great things if he can apply himself.”
  • Roast: A “roast” can refer to an event where a guest of honour is teased and made fun of (in good spirit). The saying “roast snow in a furnace” refers to a futile and often ridiculous task.
  • Rest → Roast: As in “No roast for the wicked” and “Roast assured that …” and “Roast on your laurels” and “And the roast is history” and “Oh give it a roast will you?” and “A cut above the roast” and “I roast my case”
  • Arrest → A roast: As in “You are under a roast.” and “He was charged with resisting a roast.” and “Citizen’s a roast.”
  • Girl → Grill: As in “You go grill!” and “Boys and grills
  • Gorilla → Grilla: As in “The silverback grilla is native to this area.”
  • Guerrilla → Grilla: As in “The inhabitants used grilla warfare to drive out the enemy.”
  • Even → Oven: As in “Don’t get mad, get oven” and “Break oven” and “Oven handed” and “Keep on an oven keel” and “Oven at the turning of the tide” and “Oven as we speak” and “Oven if it kills me” and “Oven Stevens”
  • *even* → *-oven-*: If a word contains “even”, it can usually be made into a silly oven pun: “It’s the main ovent (event)” and “The ovent horizon” and “It has been an oventful (eventful) day.” and “I’ll oventually get around to cleaning my garage.” and “My job has pr-oven-ted me from spending time on personal projects.” and “Pr-oven-tative medicine should be the focus.” and “Rovenge is sweet.” and “The developing world is still struggling with proventable diseases.”
  • Avenge → Ovenge: As in “I vow to ovenge their murders.”
  • Avenue → Ovenue: As in “We need to consider other ovenues.”
  • Kitten → Kitchen: As in “The internet is full of cute kitchen pictures.”
  • My crow wave → Microwave: As in “My crow waved at me with its wing.”
  • Push → Poach: As in “Don’t poach your luck” and “Poach the boundaries” and “When poach comes to shove” and “Poach the envelope” and “They’re a bit of a poach-over”
  • Branch → Blanch: As in “Our company needs to blanch out into other industries.”
  • Summer → Simmer: As in “The long, hot simmer.” and “One swallow does not make a simmer.” and “An Indian simmer
  • Skill at → Skillet: As in “I admire your skillet chess.”
  • Skilled → Skillet: As in “She was perhaps the most skillet chess player in her country.”
  • Pot: There are many idioms related to pots: “In the melting pot” and “Oh you fuss pot” and “Take a pot shot at (something)” and “Keep the pot boiling” and “Pot head” and “Pot luck” and “A pot of gold” and “A watched pot never boils” and “The pot is calling the kettle black”
  • *pot*: If a word contains the “pot” sound (or similar) we can make a silly pot pun with it: poticular (particular), spotlight, jackpot, potentially, anticipotory, despotism, incompotability, omnipotent, perpotrators, nepotism, incompotent, meopotamia, potassium, repotition, potato.
  • Pan: “Flash in the pan” and “It panned out all right in the end.” and “Peter Pan” and “Pan in/out”
  • *pan*: If a word contains the “pan” sound (or similar) we can make a silly pan pun with it: chimpanzee, companion, expand, expansion, Japan, lifespan, panacea, pancreas, pandora, panic, panorama, pansiespanting, panther, spaniard, underpants.
  • You ten sil* → Utensil: This is a very specific type of cooking pun 😛 “I’ll give utentsil-ver coins for your wagon.” and “I’ll give utensil-k garments for your horse.” You can obviously do this for other words that start with the “sil” sound like: cylinder, syllabus, silverware, silhouette, silicon, etc.
  • Burn: “Burn the candle at both ends” and “Burn a hole in your pocket” and “Burn your bridges” and “Crash and burn” and “Feel the burn” and “Slow burn” and “Burn yourself out” and “Energy to burn
  • Brother
  • Rise → Rice: As in “Rice to the challenge/occasion” and “Rice and shine” and “Rice from the ashes” and “The rice and fall of …”
  • Hate → Heat: As in “I heat to say it, but …” and “Heaters gonna heat.” and “I’ve got a love-heat relationship with cooking.”
  • Heat: “He’s packing heat” and “If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen” and “In the heat of the moment” and “The heat is on.”
  • Heed → Heat: As in “You’s better pay heat to your mother! She knows what she is talking about.”
  • Fire: As in “You’re fired.” and “In the line of fire” and “Don’t play with fire” and “Where there’s smoke, there’s fire.”
  • Steam: “Blow of some steam” and “Build up a head of steam” and “Full steam ahead” and “Run out of steam” and “Under one’s own steam” and “Pick up steam
  • Seem → Steam: As in “It’s not as bad as it steams” and “I can’t steam to …” and “things are seldom as they steam” and “That steams a bit out of place”
  • Esteem → Esteam: As in “Self esteam” and “She was esteamed by her peers”
  • Nuke: This term is often used to refer to cooking/heating something in the microwave, but it is also (obviously) short for nuclear bomb. Perhaps there is some context where this double meaning may be viable as a cooking pun.
  • Continent → Condiment: As in “The shifting of the condimental plates happens very slowly.” and “Originally, all the condiments were part of one supercondiment called Pangaea.” and “Condimental breakfast” and “The condimental shelf”
  • Embroiled: To “broil” something means to cook it via exposure to direct intense radiant heat. The term “embroiled” means to be involved deeply in an argument, conflict or difficult situation.
  • All → Oil: As in “Can’t we oil just get along?” and “Oil in a day’s work.” and “Oil part of life’s rich tapestry” and “It’s oil Greek to me.” and “It’s oil downhill form here” and “It’s oil fun and games until someone gets hurt” and “It’s oil gone pear shaped” and “It’s oil good” and “It’s oil good clean fun” and “It’s oil me me me” and “That’s oil well and good, but …” and “Oil kidding aside, …” and “Above oil, …” and “Against oil odds” and “Oil shapes and sizes” and “Oil that glitters is not gold” and “Oil the rage” and “Oil the world’s a stage” and “Oil things being equal” and “Oil thumbs” and “Oil’s well that ends well” and “At oil costs” and “By oil appearances” and “By oil accounts” and “Cover oil your bases” and “From oil corners of the globe” and “I haven’t got oil day” and “In oil honesty” and “In oil likelihood” and “It’s oil the same to me” and “Jack of oil trades” and “I don’t know oil the answers” and “Not oil it’s cracked up to be” and “He’s not oil there” and “Once and for oil” and “Don’t put oil your eggs in one basket” – And there are many more oil puns that can be made along these lines.
  • *oil*: Words which contain the “oil” sound (or similar) can be silly oil puns: spoiled, spoils, soiled, turmoil, toiletries, gargoil (gargoyle), foil, recoil.
  • Recipe: “That’s a recipe for disaster.” and “A recipe for success”
  • Ingredient: As in “What’s your secret ingredient?”
  • Pep her → Pepper: As in “We need to pepper up with some music before her big race.”
  • Cake: As in “That’s the icing on the cake” and “It’ll be a cake walk” and “That takes the cake” and “It’ll be a piece of cake.” and “Shut your cake hole”
  • Oven: “A bun in the oven
  • Often → Oven: As in “Do you come here oven?” and “Every so oven.”
  • Stuff→ Stove: As in “Don’t sweat the small stove.” and “It’s the stove of legends/dreams.”
  • Walk → Wok: As in “I’ll be back soon, I’m going to wok the dog.” and “It’ll be a wok in the park.” and “You’re woking on thin ice there, bud.”
  • Work → Wok: As in “Wok hard, play hard.” and “It’s a wok in progress.” and “All in a day’s wok.”
  • Fly → Fry: As in “A no-fry zone has been declared by the military.” and “Just a fry on the wall.”
  • Fry: There are a couple of frying-related idioms: “Small fry” and “Bigger fish to fry
  • Cry → Fry: As in “Don’t fry over spilt milk” and “A shoulder to fry on” and “Fry like a baby” and “A far fry from …” and “Fry fowl” and “Battle fry
  • Fried: As in “My brain is fried” and “I’m fried.”
  • Stew: As in “Now, now, don’t get in a in a stew.” and “Stew in your own juices”
  • *stew*: Words that contain the “stew” sound can be silly stew puns: stewpendous, stewardship, stewpid, stewdious, stewpor, stewpidity, costewme, stewdio, astewte, stewdent.
  • It’s too → s’tew: As in “S’tew bad the shoes don’t fit you.”
  • Bruise → Braise: As in “That’ll leave a braise…”
  • Breeze → Braise: As in “I’m fully prepared. The test will be a braise.”
  • Barbell → Parboil: This one’s very silly.
  • Parable →Parboil: As in “The Parboil of the Good Samaritan”
  • Poor boy’ll → Parboil: As in “The parboil need some bandages for his knee.”
  • Serve: “You got served!” and “If memory serves” and “First come, first served” and “Revenge is a dish best served cold” and “Serve a purpose” and “Serves them right” and “Serve time” and “Serve and protect”
  • Timer: “Old-timer” and “Two-timer
  • Season: As in “’tis the season” and “In season” and “Out of season
  • Rest our aunt / Rest or rant → Restaurant: These are very specific cooking puns. Good luck finding a context in which they work! 😛
  • Crackpot → Crock pot: A “crackpot” is a crazy person and a “crock pot” is a large, electric slow-cooking pot: “He’s a bit of a crock pot, that one.”
  • Sup → Soup: As in “Soup man, how’s it going?”
  • Sue p* → Soup*: As in “You can’t just soupeople willy nilly.”
  • *sup* → *soup*: If a word contains the “soup” sound we can of course make some silly soup puns: souperb, soupercomputer, soupercilious, souperficial, souperfluous, souperhuman, souperimposed, souperintendent, souperior, souperman, soupernatual, soupersonic, soupervise, soupremely, unsoupervised.
  • Dish: As in”Revenge is a dish best served cold” and “You can dish it out, but you can’t take it” and “Dish the dirt” and “The dish ran away with the spoon”
  • Hot: “All hot and bothered” and “Hot potato” and “Get into hot water” and “Hot and heavy” and “Hot on your heels” and “Hot pursuit” and “Hot-tempered” and “Hot under the collar” and “Hot topic” and “Strike while the iron is hot” and “Hot stuff” and “Full of hot air” and “Hot-wire a car”
  • Groovy → Gravy: As in “That’s a gravy, smooth-sounding new funk album she has released.”
  • Grease: “Grease the wheels” and “Grease your palm” and “The squeaky wheel gets the grease” and “Grease monkey” and “Elbow grease
  • Greece → Greece: As in “The food Grease is so good.”
  • Grace → Grease: As in “By the grease of god” and “A grease period” and “Saving grease” and “Fall from grease” and “Airs and greases” and “There but for the grease of god go I.” and “Amazing grease
  • Grass→ Grease: As in “You could hear the grease growing” and “Keep off the grease” and “A grease-roots movement.”
  • Bank etiquette → Banquet-iquette: As in “Waiting paitiently in line at the bank is just a part of good banquet-iquette.”
  • Male → Meal: As in “The meal of the species” and “Meal chauvinist pig”
  • Super → Supper: As in “Supper man” and “Supper-duper”
  • Buff eh? → Buffet: As in “Look at how much she’s bench pressing! Buffet?”
  • Down → Dine: As in “Never back dine” and “Dine the rabbit hole” and “It all boils dine to …” and “Boogie on dine” and “Bring the house dine” and “Calm dine” and “Dine for the count” and “Dine in the dumps” and “Dine the hatch” and “Dine to earth” and “Hold dine a job” and “It went dine the wrong way” and “Let your hair dine” and “The best – hands dine
  • Guessed → Guest: As in “I never would have guest.”
  • Chop: “On the chopping block” and “Chop and change”
  • Dice: As well as the noun form (“she rolled the dice”), “dice” obviously can mean “chop into small cubes/pieces”.
  • Feel → Peel: As in “You can peel it in your bones.” and “I like the look and peel of the product.” and “I’m trying to get the peel for it.” and “These potato puns are making me peel unwell.” and “I peel a bit put out.” and “I’m peeling my age.” and “Peel the burn”
  • Appeal → Appeel / A peel: “He’s so appeeling!” and “The court allowed one final a peel.” and “You need to a peel to their sense of honour.” and “I’m trying to appeel to your better judgement” and “They have 48 hours to appeel the decision.”
  • Pillar → Peeler: As in “You are a peeler of strength in our community.”
  • Whisk: “He was quickly whisked off stage” and “The waiter whisked the dish back into the kitchen”
  • Risk → Whisk: As in “It’s too dangerous. Don’t whisk it. ” and “At your own whisk” and “Calculated whisk” and “You run the whisk of …” and “Whisk life and limb”
  • Curry: “Curry favour” and “Give someone a bit of curry
  • Hurry → Curry: As in “I’m in a bit of a curry, can we talk later?” and “Curry up! We need to leave now!” and “Curry up and wait”
  • Thongs → Tongs: The word “thong” may refer to bikini bottoms or to “flip-flops” depending on where you’re from. The term “tongs” refers to a kitchen tool used to grip and lift things (usually things that you’re frying).
  • Spoon: “We spooned to keep warm” and “She wasn’t born with a silver spoon in her mouth” and “He spoon-feeds his students too much”
  • Billion → Bouillion: As in “They justly spend bouillions of dollars on the new education reforms.” (Bouillion is a type of broth in French cuisine)
  • Fist → Feast: As in “I’ll rule with an iron feast.”
  • Serve: As in “Dude, you just got served.” and “My duty is to serve and protect.”
  • Menu: As in “That’s completely off the menu.”
  • Man, you → Menu: As in “Menu need to see someone about that.”
  • Flies → Fries: As in “Time fries when you’re having fun!”
  • Fork: As in “We’ve reached a fork in the road.” (There’s also an obvious swear word pun that can be made with fork.)
  • Season → Seasoning: As in “Seasoning’s greetings!” and “For everything, there is a seasoning.”
  • Take out→ Take-out: As in “I had to take-out my phone to check the time.” and “I had to take-out a loan just to pay the bill!”
  • Toast: As well as referring to cooked bread, this term can also refer to the raising of glasses at a gathering to honour something: “Let’s call a toast.” It also has a slang usage: “You are toast.” Meaning “I’m going to beat you” at some competition (or physically).
  • Coarse → Course: As in “Please don’t pun during dinner, Gerald. It’s very course humour.”
  • Course: As in “Is there a university course on cooking puns?” (“Course” can refers to a particular stage of a multi-stage meal.)
  • Thrilled → Grilled: As in “He was so grilled to see you!” and “I’m grilled to bits!”
  • Creep → Crepe: As in “That’s a bit crepey, man.” and “Yep, he’s a bit of a crepe.”
  • Source → Sauce: As in “That’s an unreliable sauce.” and “You should cite some primary sauces.”
  • Great → Grate: As in “Oh grate! Another food pun.” and “Grate minds think alike.”
  • Branch → Brunch: As in “Shall we call a truce? I’m extending an olive brunch here.” and “We’re brunching out into other industries.”
  • Loaf: As in “Stop loafing around! Get up and do something!” (To “loaf” is to waste time and laze about)
  • Come → Crumb: As in “Crumb to think of it…” and “Crumb to your senses” and “Crumb again?” and “Crumb hell or high water.” and “Crumb out of your shell” and “Crumb rain or shine” and “Do you crumb here often?” and “An idea whose time has crumb.” and “The best is yet to crumb.” and “What has crumb over you?”
  • Feed: As in “You’re just feeding people misinformation.”
  • Order: “Law and order.” and “These restaurant puns are out of order.”
  • In jest → Ingest: As in “Many a true word is spoken ingest.”
  • Done → Dine: As in “When all is said and dine” and “Dine and dusted.”
  • Din* → Dine*: If a word begins with the “dine” sound, we can make a dinner pun: dineosaur, dineamically, dineamite.
  • Sup: This term has a few traditional meaning related to food, including “to eat dinner/supper”, but it also has the obvious slang meaning “What’s up?” Thus we can make a sneaky supper pun, but it’d be very corny and heavily dependent on context: Person1: “‘Sup?” Person2: “What? Now? It’s only 3pm!”
  • Scoff: This term refers to eating greedily or to talking to someone in a mean and “mocking” manner. Example: “Are you scoffing at my cooking puns?”
  • Sue p* → Soup*: As in “You can’t just soupeople willy nilly.”
  • *sup* → *soup*: If a word contains the “soup” sound we can of course make some silly soup puns: souperb, soupercomputer, soupercilious, souperficial, souperfluous, souperhuman, souperimposed, souperintendent, souperior, souperman, soupernatual, soupersonic, soupervise, soupremely, unsoupervised.
  • Greedy ent* → ‘gredient: This one’s a bit of a stretch! Examples: “Those ‘gredient-erprising bastards!” and “The ‘gredient-titled youngers.”
  • Salty: Other than the obvious cooking-related definition, this term has several slang definitions including “being upset/angry”.
  • Assault → A salt: As in “He was charged with a salt with a deadly weapon.”
  • It → Eat: As in “Eat is not quite as eat seems.” and “Eat’s not the first time I’ve said this, but …”
  • *eat*: Any word that contains the “eat” sound (or similar) can obviously be made into a silly eating pun: cheating, beatle, athleat, aneatime (anytime), compleat, conceated, deceatful, deleat, discreat, eleat (elite), graffeati, fleat (fleet),  featus, heartbeat, Eatalian (Italian), greating (greeting), Peater (Peter), preatending, repeatedly, reatirement, streat, sweatheart, preatentious.
  • Bowl: As in “I was completely bowled over.”
  • Stew: This term can also refer to being in a state of anxiety and agitation. As in “Stew in one’s own juices.” and “I was in a bit of a stew.”
  • Carry → Curry: As in “I’m going as fast as my legs can curry me!” and “Keep calm and curry on.”
  • Even → Oven: As in “Oven my little brother knows that!” and “That’s not oven fair.”
  • Piece of → Pizza: As in “You want a pizza me?” and “That’s a pizza cake.” and “They all want a pizza the action.” and “That’s a fine pizza ass.” and “That’s a pizza piss.” and “He’s a nasty pizza work.” and “How long is a pizza string?” and “I’ll give him a pizza my mind!” and “You’re a real pizza work.” and “Pizza the pie” and “Abbreviated pizza nothing”
  • How → Chow: As in “Chow could you do this to me?” and “Chow are you feeling?”
  • Pass the → Pasta: As in “Can you pasta sauce please?”
  • Past her → Pasta: As in “I walked right pasta without realising.”
  • Passed away → Pasta way: As in “She pasta way last night.”
  • Flower → Flour: As in “Remember to stop and smell the flours.”
  • Adore → Adough: “I adough you.”
  • Don’t → Doughn’t: As in “Doughn’t fall for it.”
  • Though → Dough: As in “You look as dough you’ve seen a ghost!”
  • Hour → Flour: As in “We could go on for flours.” and “The plane leaves in one flour.” and “I’m on a flourly wage.”
  • Make → Bake: As in “I can’t bake head or tail of it.” and “Enough to bake you sick.” and “Bake believe” and “It’ll bake a world of difference.” and “Just trying to bake ends meet.” and “Bake a name for yourself.”
  • Making → Baking: As in “A legend in the bakin’” and “This is history in the baking” and “You’re baking a fool of yourself.”
  • Floor → Flour: As in “A cooking pun battle? I’ll mop the flour with you.”
  • Heard → Herb: As in “I herb it on the grape vine.” and “You herb it here first.” and “You could have herb a pin drop.”
  • Curb → Herb: As in “Herb your enthusiasm.” and “Drive up onto the herb.”
  • Spies → Spice: As in “I think I’m being followed by Indian spice.”
  • A prawn → Apron
  • Nice → Knife: As in “Have you met the chef? She’s a knife person.”
  • Least→ Yeast: As in “Last, but not yeast.” and “Yeast common denominator.” and “It’s the yeast I could do.”
  • East→ Yeast: As in “I’m heading over yeast for a holiday.”

Cooking-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of cooking-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

chef, bake, boil, roast, grill, oven, fry, stew, braise, overcook, parboil, stove, stove-top, kitchen, microwave, poach, blanch, cook up, broil, simmer, cooker, cook, griddle, chargrill, skillet, stir fry, baste, caramelize, marinade, eat, pot, pan, utensil, burner, burn, undercook, broth, rice, pasta, heat, barbecue, bbq, fire, culinary, steam, nuke, zap, frypan, onions, potatoes, pressure cooker, condiment, oil, baker, bread, recipe, ingredients, brochette, salt, salty, pepper, sugar, cake, dough, beans, serve, serving, vegetables, range hood, timer, spatula, raw, pastry, seasoning, restaurant, crock pot, ratatouille, soup, food, dish, dishes, cookbook, hot plate, hot, sizzle, savory, dinner, saucepan, cuisine, basil, gravy, hibachi, brazier, oregano, garlic, rosemary, teflon, grease, drizzle, banquet, meal, supper, feast, buffet, dine, menu, table, guests, spaghetti, lasagna, knife, chop, dice, al dente, batter, beat, blend, dissolve, grate, peel, puree, whip, stir, sauté, whisk, bowl, mix, fork, anglaise, plate, bouillion, spoon, chiffonnade, feed, toast, chopping board, scoop, tongs, can opener, sieve, chop sticks, measuring cups, wok, sauce, herbs, spices, curry, crumb, crumbs, apron, oven mitt, platter, cutlery.

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

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Water Puns

This entry is about water puns! It’s closely related to the Punpedia entry on ocean puns, but with a tighter emphasis on water, and including puns about rivers, freshwater topics, liquid, ice and rain to name a few of the main topics. There is also a bit of cross-over with the beach puns entry, so check that out if you’re interested.

As usual, the images and visual puns at closer to the end of the article, so scroll down if that’s what you’re looking for. And if you’ve got a terrible/amazing pun that isn’t in this entry, please post it in the comments and one of our curators will add it to this entry.

Water Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any water related puns that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • What are → Water: As in “Water you doing out so late tonight?” and “Water you doing tomorrow?”
  • What are we → Watery: As in “Watery going to do?” and “Watery doing today, friends?”
  • What about → Water boat: As in “Water boat we have tofu curry for dinner tonight?” and “Water boat Ching? Does she want to come to the beach too?”
  • What do → Water: As in “Water you think about this?”
  • What her → Water: As in “I know water problem is.” and “Do you know water mother thinks about this?”.
  • Do you → Dew: As in “Dew want to grab a coffee some time?” and “How dew do?”
  • Whatever → Waterever: As in “Waterever, I don’t care.” and “Do waterever you want”.
  • Each → Beach: As in “Beach of us have our own towel”.
  • Bitch → Beach: As in “Those beaches don’t know me!” and “She says you were being a bit beachy“.
  • Damn → Dam: As in “This is the best damned water pun you’ve ever heard.” and “These dam otters are stealing all my trees.”
  • *dam*: Most words containing “dam” can be made into “dam” puns: damage, damnation, madam, goddamn, adamant, damsel, fundamental.
  • Shallow: As in “That comment was very shallow.”
  • Like → lake: As in “Swim lake a fish.” and “Lake a fish out of water.”
  • Current: As in “Currently we have no other options.”
  • *ways → *waves: Words than end in “ways” can be made into bad wave puns: alwaves (always), railwaves (railways), sidewaves, pathwaves, lengthwaves, doorwaves.
  • Fathom: A “fathom” is a unit of length equal to 6 feet (~1.8m) and is most commonly used in reference to the depth of water. Example sentences: “I can’t fathom what she means.” and “It’s completely unfathomable!”
  • Acquaintance → Aquaintance: As in “I don’t know her well, she’s just an aquaintance“.
  • No → Snow: As in “There’s snow way you’re coming with us.”
  • Tired → Tide: As in “It’s late, and I’m getting tide of water puns.”
  • Tidy → Tidey: As in “After the party we need to tidey the beach.”
  • Tied → Tide: As in “I’m tide up at the moment, can someone else help?” and “Yep, they tide the knot!”
  • Other → Otter: As in “It was just the otter day.”
  • Flow: As in “The conversation was flowing quite nicely for a while.” and “The rhythm and flow are just perfect.”
  • Seizure → Seazure: As in “If I read one more water pun I’m going to have a seazure.”
  • App* → Carpp*: If a word starts with “app” you can replace it with “carpp” to create a really bad pun on the freshwater fish. Examples include: carppear (appear), carpproach (approach), carpply (apply). You can find more “app*” words in this list.
  • Stream: As in “I’m streaming a video.” and “I can’t stream because my connection is too slow.”
  • You’re in → Urine: As in “Urine for a treat!” and “Urine for a fleecing!”
  • Wait → Wet: As in “I’ll just wet here.” and “We were wetting for a gap.”
  • Ponder: As in “I love to just sit and ponder the meaning of life.” And some similar ones: pondtificate (pontificate) pondtoon (pontoon), ponderously.
  • Waded: Along with walking through water, this can mean to “read laboriously through a long piece of writing”, so a water pun could be by using it with this definition: “Wading through your last comment was difficult.” It could also just be used in place of “walk”.
  • Wish → Fish: As in “I just fish we had more time!” and “If you rub the lamp you get three fishes“.
  • Tad → Shad: A “shad” is a common herring-like fish which lives in the sea and breeds in rivers.
  • Bubbly: “bubbly” has a “this water is bubbly” sense and a “he has a really bubbly personality” sense.
  • Boy → Buoy: As in “It’s a buoy!” and “His buoyfriend is a great person”.
  • Issue → Fishue: As in “That’s not the fishue here though.” and “I was fishued a sign for parking without a ticket”.
  • *able → *abubble: Words ending in “able” can be converted to terrible bubble puns by replacing it with “abubble”: reasonabubble (reasonable), availabubble (available), enabubble (enable), comfortabubble (comfortable), valuabubble (valuable), constabubble (constable), acceptabubble, capabubble, inevitabubble, vegetabubble, suitabubble, variabubble, vulnerabubble, profitabubble, acceptabubble, sylabubble, reliabubble, … Many more shameful puns like this can be made with the help a of list like this one.
  • *bably → *bubbly: As in “I’m probubbly going to stick around for a bit longer” and “It was indescribubbly mysterious” and “All the while he just impertububbly paced along the shore”.
  • *pear → *peir: As in “Then all of a sudden she dissapeired!” and “After appeiring to check his watch, he quickly ran away.” and “Don’t you think speir fishing is cruel?”.
  • ?id* → Squid*: If a word begins with “?id” where ‘?’ represents any letter, then this prefix can sometimes be replaced with “squid”. For example: squiddle (middle), squidlife crisis (midlife crisis), squidget (midget), squiddle (riddle), squidiculous (ridiculous), squideotape (videotape), squiddish (yiddish), squidth (width), squidow (widow), squidget (widget).
  • Kid* → Squid*: The prefix “kid” can be replaced with “squid” as follows: squidding (kidding), squidnapped (kidnapped), squidney (kidney), squid (kid).
  • Wail → Whale: As in “Poor thing, he’s been whaling over his grandmother who recently passed.” and “A good whale can help one overcome grief”.
  • El* → Eel*: A word that starts with “el” can often be an eel pun: eelection (election), eelse (else), eelement (element), eelectricity, eeliminate, eelite, eelephant, eelectron, eeleven, eelegant, eeligible, eelderly, eelicit, eelated, eelusive, eeligibility, eelapse, eelevator, eelbow, eelastic, eeloquent, eelipse.
  • Defin* → Dolphin: As in “We dolphinitely need more time to finish the mission.” and “What is the dolphinition of this word?” and “Please dolphine this word.” and “It’s the dolphinitive source of Nordic history.”
  • *tual* → *shoal*: A “shoal” can refer to a large group of fish, or an area of shallow water, or an underwater sand bank. If a word contains “tual” it can often be replaced with “shoal” for a cute little pun: actshoal (actual), actshoality (actuality), intellectshoal (intellectual), ritshoal (ritual), spiritshoal, mutshoally, eventshoal, eventshoally, conceptshoal, conceptshoalise, virtshoal, contractshoal, factshoal, factshoally, perpetshoal, textshoal, contextshoal, perceptshoal, punctshoal, instinctshoal, actshoally, habitshoally.
  • Should* → Shoald*: As mentioned above, a “shoal” can refer to a large group of fish, or an area of shallow water, or an underwater sand bank. We can use “shoal” be used to make puns like: shoald (should), shoalder (shoulder), shoaldering.
  • Bas* → Bass*: If a word begins with “bas” it can be replaced with “bass”, the name of a common European freshwater perch: bassically, basskets, basstard, bassic, basshful, bassin.
  • *cy → *sea: If a word ends in “cy” it’s an easy “sea” pun: polisea, agensea, democrasea, currensea, emergensea, efficiensea, tendensea, frequensea, fansea, constituensea, pregnansea, accurasea, redundansea, bureaucrasea, presidensea, legasea, conspirasea, mersea, privasea, bankruptsea, consistensea, literasea, urgensea, deficiensea, dependency, consultansea, tenacity, isea (icy), secrecy, intimasea.
  • Se* → Sea*: Some words that start with just “se” also have a “sea”-ish sound: seacret, searious, seargeant, seacretion, seacure, seacurity, seacondary, seacretariat, seaconds, seacrete, searum, searenity, searvitude.
  • Sea*: Most words starting with “sea” are easy sea puns: season, seasonal, seated, searingly, sealants, seam.
  • See* → Sea*: If a word starts with “see” it can often be replaced with “sea” to create a simple sea pun: seaminly, seads, seaker, seathe, seap, seak, sean, sea (see).
  • Sealant / Sealing / Seal: Easy seal puns can be made with words starting with “seal” (e.g. sealant, seal) or “ceil” (e.g. sealing).
  • Or* → Oar*: If a word starts with “or” it can be replaced with “oar” for a neat little boat pun. Some examples: oarganisation, oariginally, oarange, oarchestra, oargan, oarbit, oarnament, oarthodoxy, oariental, oarnaments, oarchid, oardering.
  • Simmer → Swimmer: As in “I left the pot swimmering and now my vegetable curry is burnt!” and “Hey swimmer down, there’s no need to turn this into a fight”.
  • Or → Oar: As in “Let’s go oar we’ll be late!” and “Should we swim oar keep sunbaking?”.
  • Crappy → Crappie: A “crappie” is a North American freshwater fish. “Crappy” is used to describe something or poor quality.
  • Purpose → Porpoise: As in “I didn’t do it on porpoise!” and “What is the porpoise of this?”
  • *sib* → *ship*: If a word contains “sib” it can usually be replaced with “ship” to create a terrible pun. For example: posshiply (possibly), accesshipility (accessibility), incomprehenshiple, feashipble, irresponshipble, invishipble, ostenshipbly, revershipble, vishipble. An example sentence might be: “I am responshiple for my puns.”
  • Someone → Salmon: As in “Will salmon please help me?” and “Salmon’s at the door”.
  • Opportunity → Op-perch-tuna-ty: As in “I’m glad I got an op-perch-tuna-ty to say this pun.”
  • Well: The word “well” can mean “in a good or satisfactory way” and also “a shaft dug into the ground to extract water, oil, etc.”, so it’s a simple pun. An example sentence: “Very well, I’ll stop making water puns now.”
  • Well/Welcome → Whale/Whalecome: As in “Whalecome to our home!” and “Whale, whale, whale, what do we have here?”.  Whale puns can be made with many more words like welfare (whalefare), welsh (whalesh) and wellness (whaleness). Check out the entry on whale puns for more.
  • Row/Roe: “Row” as in “row your boat” and “roe” as in fish or shellfish eggs, are two words that can be inserted into many other words: roetine/rowtine (routine), rowmans/roemans (romans), rowtation/roetation (rotation), rowd/roed (rowed), rowse (rose), rowl (roll), rowp, rowmantic, rowbust, rowbot, rowgue, roest. Check out the boat puns entry for more.
  • Kil* → Krill*: Kill, kilogram, killer, killing, kilowatt are all words that can be punned with “krill” (the microscopic shrimp-like ocean critters). For example: “I just bought a krillogram of tofu” and “Krilling sentient creatures is often morally wrong”
  • Combine → Combrine: As in “With our power combrined we should be able to defeat them.” and “It’s what you get when you combrine salt and water”. Similar puns can be made for most words ending in “bine”: turbrine (turbine), concubrine (concubine), columbrine (columbine).
  • *ice: Some words that end in “ice” an be very simple ice puns: price, nice, advice, device, twice, slice, rice, sacrifice, vice, suffice, mice, spice, entice, lice, splice.
  • Jus* → Juice*: As in “There can be no juicetification of this behaviour!” and “Juicet three dollars?! Is that all?” and “Juicetice has been served.” There are of course many more juice puns of this variety: juicetify, juicetifyable, injuicetice, unjuicetifyable, etc.
  • Adjust → Adjuicet: As in “There will be an adjuicetment period.” and “We need to adjuicet the course of this conversation”.
  • Court → Quart: As in “The supreme quart.” and “He’s been quarting her for months.”
  • Will → Well: As in “It’s just a lack of well power.” and “Well you marry me?” and “You well regret this.”
  • Esteem → Esteam: As in “She has great self-esteam.” and “I hold her in high esteam.”
  • Creak → Creek: As in “The stairs creeked as I walked up.”
  • Run → Rain: As in “She rains so fast!” and “He’s raining amok.”.
  • Tap: As in “Tap out! Her water puns are too good!” and “I heard a tap at the door.”
  • Lock → Loch: As in “If there’s any more water puns, I’ll loch the thread.” and “No shit, Sherloch.”
  • *lock → *loch: If a word ends in “lock”, it’s a lovely opportunity for a lake pun: bloch, cloch, floch, deadloch, padloch, hilloch, interloch, warloch, sunbloch, unbloch, hemloch.
  • Seem → Steam: As in “Things are not always as they steam.”
  • *hale → *hail: As in “Inhail deeply, then exhail slowly.”
  • Flake: As in “Yeah, I thought you might flake on me.” and “Cornflakes aren’t all that healthy.”
  • *late → *lake: Terrible lake puns can be made by replacing the “late” suffix with “lake”: calculake, stimulake, translake, contemplake, manipulake, circulake, accumulake, congratulake, congratulaketions, speculake, correlaketed (correlated), violaketed (violated), inarticulake.
  • I s* → Ice s*: Any phrase which has the word “I” and word after it which begins with “s” can be made into an ice pun. Here are a couple of examples: “Ice see dead people.” and “And ice stood there for a monent, completely stunned.” and “Ice simply have no idea.”
  • I see → Icey: As in “Icey what you did there.” and “Icey dead people.”
  • Boy l* → Boil l*: If a sentence has the word “boy” followed by a word starting with “l”, we can make a water pun. For example: “I thought a boil like you would have some manners.” and “The young boil left the room abruptly.”

Water-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to water can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the water themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • When it rains, it pours
  • I’ll be damned
  • Drowning in sorrow
  • To dampen one’s enthusiasm/spirits
  • Break the ice
  • Watered down
  • You shore can
  • Go with the flow
  • You’re in deep water
  • Dry humour
  • Don’t piss off the alligator until you’ve crossed the river
  • Keep at bay
  • Keep the pot boiling
  • That’s water under the bridge
  • Kick up a storm
  • She’s in hot water
  • Rain on your parade
  • Off the deep end
  • Open the floodgates
  • Channel surfing
  • Run out of steam
  • The calm before the storm
  • Sleep with the fishes
  • Blow off steam
  • In hot water
  • Until hell freezes over
  • Take a raincheck
  • Skating on thin ice
  • Rubber duck
  • Trim one’s sails
  • Slippery when wet
  • Water over the dam
  • Went storming off
  • In every life a little rain must fall
  • My head is swimming
  • Pour it on thick
  • Bored to tears
  • Between the devil and the deep blue sea
  • Muddy the water
  • You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make her drink
  • Throwing out the baby with the bath water
  • As white as snow
  • As helpful as a screen door on a submarine
  • Better than a slap in the face with a wet fish
  • Mexican wave
  • A fine kettle of fish
  • A big fish in a small pond
  • Plain sailing
  • Binge drinking
  • Blood, sweat and tears
  • Behind the clouds, the sun is shining
  • Body surfing
  • Rising tide
  • Let’s cross that bridge when we come to it
  • Chasing rainbows
  • Paddle your own canoe
  • Babble like a brook
  • Laugh like a drain
  • Crocodile tears
  • Lame duck
  • Sitting duck
  • Soft drink
  • Don’t rock the boat
  • If it looks like a duck and sounds like a duck…
  • If your ship doesn’t come in, you have to row out to meet it
  • Drink like a fish
  • He’s fishing for compliments
  • Hook, line and sinker
  • If today was a fish, i’d throw it back in the river
  • Lay there like a beached whale
  • Rats abandon a sinking ship
  • River of tears
  • As sharp as a sack of wet mice
  • As sharp as a wet corn flake
  • Stew in his own juice
  • She’s not the only fish in the sea
  • Still waters run deep
  • Tip of the iceberg
  • After the rain comes a rainbow
  • We might as well get our ears wet
  • Wet behind the ears
  • All’s well that ends well
  • Well’s run dry
  • Whatever floats your boat
  • Cold as ice
  • A wet bird never flies at night
  • A whale of a time
  • Cottage by the lake
  • Couldn’t punch your way out of a wet paper bag
  • Cross that bridge when we get to it
  • Cry me a river
  • Son’t give a damn
  • All in the same boat
  • Dry as a bone
  • Duck the question
  • Eat drink and be merry
  • Even at the turning of the tide
  • The tides have turned
  • Every cloud has a silver lining
  • A fish out of water
  • A drop in the ocean
  • Full steam ahead
  • Full head of steam
  • Get your ducks in a row
  • Getting soaked (as in cheated)
  • Going against the tide
  • Head in the clouds
  • That shore is (funny/sad/long/etc.)

Water-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of water-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns:

afloat, alligator, amazon river, amphibian, aqua, aquarium, aquatic, aqueduct, aqueous, aquifer, bath, bath water, bathe, bay, beach, beverage, bilge, billabong, bird bath, boat, boating, body of water, boggy, boiling, boiling point, bottled water, bottom of the sea, brackish, breakwater, bridge, brim, brine, brook, bubble, bucket, canal, canoe, carbonated water, channel, cistern, cloud, condensation, coral, crab, creek, crocodile, crystal clear, dam, damp, dampen, deep, deep blue sea, deep water, dehydration, deluge, desalination, dew, diarrhoea, dishwasher, dissolve, distillation, distilled water, dive, diving, dock, dolphin, douse, downstream, drainage, drench, drink, drinking, drinking water, drizzle, droplet, drought, drown, dry, dryer, duck, dunk, eddy, eel, effervescent, estuary, evaporation, falls, faucet, fin, fish, fishermen, fishing, float, flood, floodwater, fluid, flush, flush toilet, fountain, freeze, freezing, freezing point, fresh water, freshwater, frog, gills, glacier, ground water, groundwater, gutter, H2O, hail, half empty, half full, hard water, heavy water, holy water, hot water, humidity, hydrant, hydrate, hydration, hydraulic, hydroelectricity, hydrogen, hydrophilic, hydrophobic, hydrosphere, hygiene, ice, iceberg, inlet, irrigate, irrigation, jellyfish, jet ski, juice, kayak, kelp, lagoon, lake, lime water, liquefied, liquid, liquid water, litre, marine, marine mammal, marsh, melt, melt water, mineral water, mist, moist, moisture, navy, nile, ocean, ocean spray, oceanic, orca, otter, patter, pee, perspiration, phlegm, piddle, pier, pint, pirate, piss, plankton, pond, pond lily, pond water, pool, pour, precipitation, puddle, pump, quart, rain, rainbow, raincoat, rainy, reeds, rinse, river, riverbed, river basin, running water, sail, saline, salinity, saliva, salt lake, saltwater, scald, scuba, sea, seaborne, seal, seasick, seawater, seaweed, seven seas, sewage reservoir, shallow, shark, ship, shipwreck, shoal, shore, shower, simmer, sink, siphon, skim, slobber, snorkel, snow, snowflake, soak, soda, sodden, soft water, solvent, sonar, sopping, splash, splashing, spring, spring water, sprinkle, squid, squirt, steam, storm, stream, string ray, submerge, submerse, sunken, surfing, swamp, swash, sweat, swell, swimmer, swimming, tadpole, tap, tap water, tear, teardrop, tidal force, tide, tidepool, toilet, torrent, torrential rainfall, umbrella, underwater, upstream, urine, vapour, wade, wash, washing, wastewater, water bomb, water buffalo, water cycle, water filter, water fowl, water gun, water park, water pipe, water polo, water skiing, water slide, water soluble, water spout, water supply, water tank, water tight, water treatment, water works, waterboard, watercolour, watercourse, waterfall, watering hole, waterlogged, watermark, waterway, watery, wave, well, wet, wet season, whale, whirlpool, wring out, trout, turtle, sea turtle, tortoise, wetland, loch, fish pond, catfish, tuna, mud, blowfish, bydrobiology, marine biologist, catchment, crayfish, lobster, reef, moat, sea life, swan, seagull, sturgeon, open water, paddle, watermelon, conductive, spurt

Water Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny water jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style water jokes use puns in their punchline (whether homophonic, homographic, or based on a slang phrase or cliche).

  • What do you call a duck that refuses to go in the water? – A chicken!
  • What keeps a dock floating above water? – Pier pressure!
  • Did you hear the watermelon joke? – It’s pitiful.
  • Is it dangerous to swim on a full stomach? – No, it’s just more fun in water.
  • Why is the letter T like an island? – Because its in the middle of water!
  • What do you call a guy with no arms or legs floating in the water? – Bob
  • Why is it bad to joke about boiling water? – Because it gets all steamy.
  • How do you make holy water? – You boil the hell out of it!
  • How does Moses make his tea?  – Hebews it.
  • Why do seals swim in salt water? – Because pepper water makes them sneeze!
  • What eight letters can you find in water from the Arctic Ocean? – H to O
  • What vegetable is forbidden on all ship? – Leeks!
  • What did the trout say when it swam into a concrete wall? – Dam!
  • What type of specialist can carry out operations underwater? – Sturgeon
  • Where do fish wash? – In a river basin!
  • Where do fish keep their money? – In river banks.
  • What do you call the small tributaries of the main river in Cairo? – Juveniles
  • Why didn’t the hipster swim in the river? – It was too mainstream.
  • What happened when the scientist tried to capture some fog? – She mist!
  • Why did the student study hydrology? – Because she had a great thirst for knowledge.
  • Who is the world’s greatest underwater spy? – Pond. James Pond.
  • All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. Police have nothing to go on.
  • Why is tea so therapeutic? – Because boiling the water raises your self of steam.

Water Pun Images

Below is a collection of water-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual water puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Water Pun Conversations & Battles

Here’s a small selection of conversations and threads where water was the general topic of word play. Some of the comments may lead toward ocean puns, but in general the pun battles/conversations stay close to the water theme. If you’ve found any threads or messenger/iPhone screenshots that are water-themed but aren’t included here, please post a comment at the bottom of the page!

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the water-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, facebook, twitter, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more water-related pun images? Or perhaps you just want more water puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any water puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂