Santa Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on santa puns! 🦌🎅🏾 🍪🥛

Known by many different names (Saint Nicholas, Kris Kringle, Father Christmas and Santa Claus), Santa is a well-loved figure in the holiday world – an annual bringer of cheer and gifts to families around the world. Make your holiday preparations that much more special with our Santa puns – whether you’re making Santa puns for custom Christmas crackers, making some terribly corny Christmas party invites, or asking a special someone on a festive date, we hope that our list of Santa puns will have you covered.

While this list is as thorough as we could make it, it is specific to Santa. We do also have an entry of Christmas tree puns, and will have other Christmas-specific lists coming soon too!

Santa Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about Santa that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Santa puns:

  • Santa: To start us off, here are some Santa-related phrases for you to play with: “Santa’s little helpers,” and “Secret Santa.”
  • Satan→ Santa: As in, “The Church of Santa,” and “A santa-ist (satanist).”
  • Sanitise→ Santa-tise: As in, “Hand santa-tiser,” and “This area needs santa-tising,” and “Bad santa-tation.”
  • Sent her→ Santa: As in, “I santa a few presents, but she hasn’t received them.”
  • *sant→ *santa: As in, “Incessanta noise,” and “Pleasanta conversation,” and “Peasanta’s clothing,” and “Pheasanta’s don’t want to be eaten,” and “Are you cognisanta of that fact?” and “An unpleasanta atmosphere.”
  • *sent*→ *santa*: As in, “No is a complete santance,” and “Pigs are santa-ent (sentient) beings,” and “What a beautiful santament,” and “A santamental being,” and “All presanta and correct,” and “No time like the presanta,” and “Represantang,” and “Bet on our dissanta (dissent),” and “You have our assanta,” and “I resanta the insinuation,” and “Absanta without leave,” and “Conspicuously absanta.”
  • *cent*→ *santa*: As in, “The santa (centre) of attention,” and “Left, right and santa,” and “Take santa stage,” and “Sale of the santaury,” and “A desanta (decent) person,” and “A magnifisanta effort,” and “Don’t play innosanta,” and “The street adjasanta,” and “An eccsantaric (eccentric) character,” and “A sweet insanta-ive,” and “Are santapedes poisonous?”
  • *sand*→ *santa*: As in, santawich (sandwich), santabox (sandbox), santal (sandal), santastorm (sandstorm), thousanta (thousand), quicksanta (quicksand).
  • Hoe→ Hoe ho ho: As in, “A hard row to hoe ho ho,” and “A hoe ho ho down.” Note: if something is a hard or tough row to hoe, then it’s a very difficult task.
  • *ho*→ *ho ho ho*: We can play with words that contain “ho” to make some terrible Santa puns, as in “Drink alcoho-ho-hol in moderation over the holidays,” and “Beho-ho-hold!” and “A ho ho horrible idea,” and “Don’t ho ho hoard the leftovers.” More words that you can play with along the lines of this theme: echo (echo-ho-ho), macho (macho-ho-ho), home, cohort (coho-ho-hort), hold, horse, hole, hope, host, hook, holistic, abhorrence, blowhole, buttonhole, foothold, hoarse, hoax, Hobart, holly, homesick, hopeful, hormone, horn, horrible, horrify, horticultural, hotel, how, keyhole, pigeonhole, whole. There are many more words that could be used so be creative!
  • *oh*→ *ho ho ho*: Words that rhyme with “oh” or contain an “oh” sound can be used as the beginning or ending “ho” in “ho ho ho”. As in, “Blow-ho-ho me a kiss,” and “How do you know-ho-ho?” and “Rolling out dough-ho-ho,” and “Go with the flow-ho-ho.” Other words that would work with this: crow, flow, foe, glow, go, grow, low, mow, no, owe, plough, quo, row, roe, sew, hollow, show, slow, snow, so, stow, though, throw, toe, tow, woe, aglow, although, aloe, banjo, below, bestow, bordeaux, borrow, chateau, gateau, combo, chapeau, crossbow, bow, elbow. There are many other words that could be used so be creative.
  • Claustrophobic→ Clausetrophobic
  • Cause→ Clause: As in, “Claus a stir,” and “Claus and effect,” and “Claus for concern,” and “A lost claus,” and “Rebel without a claus,” and “A martyr to the claus,” and “Just beclaus you can, doesn’t mean you should.”
  • Claws→ Claus: As in, “Get one’s claus into,” and “Get your claus out.”
  • Clause→ Claus: As in, “A subordinate claus.”
  • Close→ Claus: As in, “A claus thing,” and “A claus call,” and “As one door clauses, another opens,” and “At claus quarters,” and “Behind claused doors,” and “Case claused,” and “Claus encounters,” and “Claus friends,” and “Claus proximity,” and “A claus shave,” and “Claus to home,” and “A claused book,” and “Don’t stand so claus to me,” and “Drawn to a claus,” and “Keep your cards claus,” and “Keep your friends claus and your enemies clauser,” and “Too claus for comfort,” and “Up claus and personal,” and “A skeleton in the clauset.”
  • Father→ Father Christmas: As in, “Father Christmas knows best,” and “Founding Father Christmas,” and “Like Father Christmas, like son.”
  • Nickel→ Nicholas: As in, “If I had a nicholas every time..”
  • Nick: St. Nick is another name for Santa, so here are some nick-related phrases: “In good nick,” and “In the nick of time.”
  • Neck→ Nick: As in, “At breaknick speed,” and “Break your nick,” and “Breathing down your nick,” and “Nick and nick,” and “A pain in the nick,” and “Stick your nick out,” and “This nick of the woods,” and “Up to your nick in trouble,” and “Win by a nick,” and “By the nape of your nick.”
  • Next→ Nicks: As in, “America’s Nicks Top Model,” and “Better luck nicks time,” and “Boy nicks door,” and “Knock into the middle of nicks week,” and “The nicks generation,” and “Nicks in line to the throne,” and “Nicks to nothing,” and “Take it to the nicks level,” and “A week from nicks Tuesday.” Note: America’s Next Top Model is a competitive reality TV show.
  • Neck*→ Nick*: As in, nicklace (necklace), nicktie, nicking (necking), nickline, bottlenick, rubbernick, breaknick and turtlenick. Notes: necking is a colloquial term for making out. Rubbernecking is the act of craning your neck to stare at something you find interesting.
  • *nick*: Emphasise the “nick” in certain words to make references to St. Nick in your wordplay: nickel, nickname, Nickelodeon, snicker, finicky, knickers, and persnickety. Note: to be finicky is to be particular or fussy. Persnickety is a synonym for finicky.
  • *nock*→ *nick*: As in, “Well knick me down with a feather,” and “What a knickout!”
  • knuckle→ nickle: As in, “Nickle sandwich,” and “Nickle dusters,” and “Nickle under,” and “A white-nickle experience.” Note: a white-knuckle experience is one that was particularly stressful or frightening.
  • *nak*→ *nick*: As in, “Nicked (naked) as the day you were born,” and “The nicked truth,” and “Lower than a snick’s belly,” and “Snick eyes.” Note: snake eyes are when two dice are rolled and both result in a one.
  • Snakes and Ladders→ St. Nicks and Ladders: Snakes and Ladders is a fairly retro board game.
  • Snakes on a Plane→ St. Nicks on a Plane: Snakes on a Plane is a thriller action movie. This pun would work particularly well as a visual/comic pun.
  • Heineken→ Heinicken: Heineken is a beer.
  • *nik*→ *nick*: As in, “A new Nickon camera,” and “Part of the beatnick scene,” and “A new monicker,” and “The artist’s manickin.” Notes: a moniker is a nickname or alias. A beatnik is a stereotype from a literary movement in the 1950s-1960s.
  • Crisp→ Kris: Santa Claus is also known as Kris Kringle, so we can use this name to make some silly Santa puns too. As in, “Burnt to a kris.”
  • Krispy Kreme→ Krispy Kringle
  • *cras*→ *kris*: As in, “Krish and burn,” and “A kriss (crass) statement,” and “Stop prokristinating!” and “Her idiosynkrisies are part of her charm.” Note: idiosyncrasies are habitual behaviours or mannerisms that a person has.
  • Cres*→ Kris*: As in, “The family krist,” and “On the krist of a wave,” and “A kriscent moon,” and “The scene reached a kriscendo,” and “She looked kristfallen.” Note: a crescendo is a slow increase in something – music, atmosphere, emotion etc.
  • *cris*→ *kris*: As in, “A krisis situation,” and “A krispy coating,” and “Put it in the krisper,” and “I won’t stand for such hypokrisy.”
  • *cros*→ *kris*: As in, “A storyline krissover,” and “The weekly krissword,” and “Animal Krissing,” and “At a krissroads,” and “Akristic poem,” and “Under a mikriscope.” Note: an acrostic is a type of poem that focuses on the first letter of each line in the poem. Animal Crossing is an RPG game.
  • Crus*→ Kris*: As in, “Upper krist,” and “Kristaceans (crustaceans) aren’t food.”
  • Ludicrous→ Ludikris: As in, “What a ludikris idea.” Note: to be ludicrous is to be foolish or unreasonable.
  • Cringe→ Kringle: As in, “Kringle-inducing,” and “Kringleworthy.”
  • Crinkle→ Kringle: As in, “You’ve kringled the paper,” and “My dress is kringled now.”
  • Crystal→ Kristal: As in, “As clear as kristal,” and “Kristal clear.”
  • *chris/chrys*→ *kris*: As in, “A white krismas,” and “Krismas is coming,” and “A born-again kristian,” and “Are you kristened?” and “I love krisanthemums (chysanthemums),” and “It’s about time you emerged from your krisalis (chrysalis).” Note: Chrysanthemums are a type of flower.
  • Slytherin→ Sleightherin
  • Slay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh, queen,” and “Sleigh the dragon.”
  • Say*→ Sleigh*: As in, “As the sleighing goes,” and “Do as I sleigh, not as I do,” and “Does exactly what it sleighs on the box,” and “Have the final sleigh,” and “Just sleigh the word,” and “It goes without sleighing,” and “Never sleigh never,” and “Sleigh cheese!” and “Sleigh it loud and sleigh it proud,” and “Sleigh it with flowers,” and “Sleigh uncle,” and “Sleigh what you mean and mean what you sleigh,” and “Sleigh your prayers,” and “Simon sleighs,” and “As I was sleighing,” and “If I do sleigh so myself,” and “I’ll sleigh,” and “Let’s not and sleigh we did,” and “Sleigh again?” and “That’s sleighing something,” and “To sleigh the least,” and “You can’t sleigh fairer than that.”
  • Sleight: Emphasise the “sleigh” – “Sleigh-t of hand.”
  • Lay→ Sleigh: As in, “Sleigh a finger on,” and “Sleigh down your arms,” and “Sleigh down your life,” and “Sleigh eyes on,” and “Sleigh down the law,” and “Sleigh it on thick,” and “The sleigh of the land,” and “Sleigh down the groundwork.”
  • Laid→ Sleigh’d: As in, “Get sleigh’d,” and “Sleigh’d back,” and “Sleigh’d bare” and “Sleigh’d to rest,” and “Even the best sleigh’d plans.”
  • Said→ Sleigh’d: As in, “After all is sleigh’d and done,” and “I couldn’t have sleigh’d it better,” and “Easier sleigh’d than done,” and “Enough sleigh’d,” and “No sooner sleigh’d than done,” and “‘Nuff sleigh’d,” and “Was it something I sleigh’d?” and “That’s what you sleigh’d.”
  • Sight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “Catch sleigh’t of,” and “Hidden in plain sleigh’t,” and “Love at first sleigh’t,” and “Not a pretty sleigh’t,” and “Out of sleigh‘t,” and “Set your sleigh’ts on,” and “A sleigh’t for sore eyes,” and “A sleigh’t to behold,” and “Hindsleigh’t is 20/20,” and “Can’t stand the sleigh’t of,” and “A sorry sleigh’t.”
  • Slight→ Sleigh’t: As in, “A sleigh’t oversight,” and “Sleigh‘tly ahead of our time,” and “Not in the sleigh’test,” and “A sleigh’t misunderstanding.”
  • Slate→ Sleight’: As in, “A blank sleigh’t,” and “A clean sleigh’t,” and “Wipe the sleigh’t clean.”
  • *sight*→ *sleight*: As in, “I value your insleight,” and “An enormous oversleight,” and “In hindsleight,” and “An insleightful person,” and “I wish I had your foresleight,” and “A sleightseeing tour.”
  • *sley→ *sleigh: As in, parsleigh (parsley), paisleigh (paisley), Elvis Presleigh (Presley), and Ronald Weasleigh (Weasley).
  • Lay*→ Sleigh*: As in, “The topmost sleigher (layer),” and “Sleighout (layout) designer,” and “In sleighperson’s terms.” Note: a layperson is someone with no training or qualifications in a particular subject.
  • *say*→ *sleigh*: As in, “I have an essleigh (essay) due Monday,” and “That’s hearsleigh (hearsay),” and “Don’t be a naysleigher,” and “The old soothsleigher.” Notes: hearsay is a type of evidence that has a reputation for being untrustworthy or unreliable. A soothsayer is one who predicts the future.
  • *sly→ *sleigh: Use words that end in “sly” to make some corny sleigh puns: “It happened simultaneousleigh,” and “Well, obviousleigh,” and “You performed flawlessleigh.” Here are some other words that would work with this: surreptitiousleigh (surreptitiously), continuousleigh (continuously), vicariousleigh (vicariously), seamlessleigh (seamlessly), previousleigh (previously), thusleigh (thusly), seriousleigh (seriously), furiousleigh (furiously), carelessleigh (carelessly), shamelessleigh (shamelessly), soundlessleigh (soundlessly), maliciousleigh (maliciously), curiousleigh (curiously), ceremoniousleigh (ceremoniously), tenaciousleigh (tenaciously), frivolousleigh (frivolously), deviousleigh (deviously), fabulousleigh (fabulously), famousleigh (famously), gloriousleigh (gloriously).
  • Elvis→ Elfis
  • Chimney: A chimney-related phrase for you to play with: “Smokes like a chimney.”
  • Jiminy→ Chimney: As in, “Chimney cricket!” Note: Jiminy cricket is both a way of swearing and a character in the Disney movie Pinocchio.
  • Suit→ Soot: As in, “All over him like a cheap soot,” and “At a price to soot your pocket,” and “Follow soot,” and “In your birthday soot,” and “Soot up!” and “Soots you down to a tee,” and “Soots you down to the ground.”
  • Shoot→ Soot: As in, “Don’t soot the messenger,” and “Drive-by sooting,” and “Eats, soots and leaves,” and “The green soots of recovery,” and “Just soot me,” and “A sharp sooter,” and “Sooting blanks,” and “Soot down in flames,” and “Sooting from the hip,” and “Soot hoops,” and “Soot the breeze,” and “Soot your mouth off,” and “Soot yourself in the foot,” and “Soot for the sky,” and “Soot one a dirty look.”
  • Chute→ Soot: As in, “A golden parasoot,” and “Straight out of the soot.”
  • *suit*→ *soot*: As in, “A sootable choice,” and “A new sootor,” and “Pack your sootcase!” Other words that will work: sooted (suited), sootability (suitability), sootably (suitably), pursoot (pursuit), lawsoot (lawsuit), wetsoot (wetsuit), jumpsoot (jumpsuit), swimsoot (swimsuit), tracksoot (tracksuit).
  • Sack: Change up your Santa puns with these sack-related phrases: “Get the sack,” and “Hit the sack,” and “A sad sack.”
  • Sick→ Sack: As in, “Sack as a dog,” and “Enough to make you sack,” and “One sack puppy,” and “In sackness and in health,” and “Morning sackness,” and “Off sack,” and “On the sack list,” and “Phone in sack,” and “Pull a sackie,” and “Sack and tired,” and “Sack to death of,” and “Sack to the stomach,” and “Worried sack.”
  • Shake→ Sack: As in, “Bone-sacking,” and “A fair sack,” and “Sacking my head,” and “In two sacks of a lamb’s tail,” and “More than you can sack a stick at,” and “Sack a leg,” and “Sack like a leaf,” and “Movers and sackers.”
  • Sec*→ Sack*: As in,”Our best-kept sackret,” and “Having sackond thoughts,” and “Just a sackond,” and “Play sackond fiddle,” and “A sackond childhood,” and “Sackond nature,” and “Two-sackond rule,” and “In the wrong sacktion.” Some other sec* words: sackular (secular), sackurity (security), sackure (secure), sackretary (secretary), consackutive (consecutive), sacktor (sector).
  • *sic*→ *sack*: As in, “Blow this popsackle stand,” and “Face the musack,” and “Make beautiful musack together,” and “Physackal (physical) education,” and “Back to basacks.” Some other *sic* words: sackle (sickle), sackly (sickly), sackening (sickening), intrinsack (intrinsic), classack (classic), forensack (forensic), physacks (physics), extrinsack (extrinsic), and whimsackal (whimsical).
  • Sock → Sack: As in, “Knock their sacks off,” and “Pull your sacks up,” and “Put a sack in it,” and “Sack it to me!”
  • Shock→ Sack: As in, “Electric sack,” and “Culture sack,” and “In for a sack,” and “Shell-sacked,” and “Sack and awe,” and “Sack horror,” and “A short, sharp sack.” Some other “shock” words: sacked (shocked), aftersack (aftershock), sackwave (shockwave), sacker (shocker).
  • Suc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sack it up,” and “Sack it in,” and “Sacker punch,” and “Be careful who you step on while climbing the ladder of sackcess,” and “If at first you don’t sackceed, the hell with it.” Other suc* words: Sackcint (succinct), sackcumb (succumb), sackcessful (successful), and sackcession (succession).
  • *sack*: Other sack-related words for you to play with: ransack, rucksack, hoversack and knapsack.
  • *sac*→ *sack*: As in, “A massive sackrifice,” and “Sackrilege!” and “A committee is a cul-de-sack where ideas go quietly to die,” and “A completed transacktion,” and “The Texas Chainsaw Massackre.”
  • *shack*→ *sack*: As in, “In sackles,” and “A ramsackle apartment.” Note: if something is ramshackle, then it looks so carelessly put together that it seems on the verge of collapse.
  • *shak*→ *sack*: As in, “A sacky argument,” and “Movers and sackers,” and “This is a sackdown (shakedown)!” and “A weak handsack,” and “My milksack brings all the boys to the yard,” and “She was sacken by the news.”
  • Soc*→ Sack*: As in, “Sacker mom (soccer),” and “Electrical sacket.” Note: a soccer mom is a stereotype that broadly refers to middle-class, suburban women who spend a large amount of time at school events.
  • Shakespeare→ Sackspeare
  • *self→ *elf: As in, “An elf-made business owner,” and “Apply your-elf,” and “Be your-elf,” and “Pull your-elf together,” and “I didn’t do it my-elf.” Note: this also works for the plural forms of both self and elf – as in, “Apply your-elves (apply yourselves),” and “Pull your-elves together.”
  • Selfie→ Elfie: As in, “Take an elfie,” and “Use an elfie stick.”
  • Self-*→ Elf-*: As in, “Have some elf-conficence,” and “She’s got good elf-control.” Other words that would work with this format: elf-contained, elf-deceiving, elf-deprecating, elf-determination, elf-enrichment, elf-governing, elf-help, elf-improvement, elf-perpetuating, elf-portrait, elf-sufficient.
  • Self*→ Elf*: As in, “An elfish (selfish) person,” and “Elfless (selfless) bravery,” and “I won’t stand for such elfishness (selfishness).”
  • *alf*→ *elf*: As in, elfalfa (alfalfa), elfredo (alfredo), behelf (behalf – as in, “On behelf of”), and melfunction (malfunction – as in, “Why is the computer melfunctioning?”)
  • Health→ Helf: As in, “A helfy mind in a helfy body,” and “Bad for your helf,” and “A clean bill of helf,” and “Glowing with helf,” and “In sickness and in helf,” and “A picture of helf,” and “Take a helf-y interest,” and “Ill helf,” and “In the pink of helf,” and “Helfy as a horse.” Note: if you’re in the pink of health, then you’re in very good condition.
  • Wealth→ Welf: As in, “Rolling in welf,” and “Redistribution of welf,” and “Share the welf.”
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup,” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Gift: As gifts are a part of Santa’s legend, we’ve provided gift-related phrases to play with: “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “A gift from the gods,” and “Gift of life,” and “Gift of the gab,” and “The gift of time,” and “The gift that keeps on giving.” Notes: the gift of the gab is a talent for communication. To look a gift horse in the mouth is to question the value of a gift or to be ungrateful.
  • Give→ Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up,” and “I don’t gift a monkey’s,” and “Don’t gift up your day job,” and “Frankly my dear, I don’t gift a damn,” and “Gift peace a chance,” and “Gift a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift an inch and they’ll take a mile,” and “Gift it all you’ve got,” and “Gift it to me straight,” and “Gift me liberty or gift me death,” and “What gifts?” and “Wouldn’t gift you the time of day.” Note” the quote “Frankly my dear, I don’t give a damn” is a line from the movie “Gone With the Wind.”
  • Giving→ Gifting: As in, “They’re gifting me a dirty look,” and “The gift that keeps on gifting.”
  • Forgive→ Forgift: As in, “Forgift your enemies; nothing annoys them more,” and “Forgift and forget,” and “To err is human, to forgift – divine,” and “Have you forgiften me yet?”
  • Present: Some present-related phrases to mix into your puns: “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.” Note: if present company is excepted, then the topics or complaints at hand do not apply to those in attendance.
  • Presence→ Presents: As in, “The honour of your presents is requested,” and “Grace us with your presents.”
  • Pleasant→ Present: As in, “I don’t have time for presentries,” and “Present conversation,” and “Why the unpresentness (unpleasantness)?”
  • Resent→ Present: As in, “I present the insinuation!”
  • Naughty: We can reference Santa’s naughty or nice list with these naughty-related phrases: “The naughty corner,” and “Naughty but nice.”
  • Nutty→ Naughty: As in, “A sweet, naughty flavour.”
  • Nautical→ Naughty-cal: As in, “A naughty-cal mile,” and “Naughty-cal life.”
  • Nought→ Naughty: As in, “Naughty and crosses,” and “It’s all come to naughty.”
  • *nut→ *naughty: As in, chestnaughty (chestnut), walnaughty (walnut), doughnaughty (doughnut – could also be donaughty), peanaughty (peanut), coconaughty (coconut), butternaughty (butternut), hazelnaughty (hazelnut).
  • *naut→ *naughty: As in, astronaughty (astronaut), aeronaughty (aeronaut), cybernaughty (cybernaut), juggernaughty (juggernaut).
  • Nice: Make references to Santa’s naughty or nice list with these nice-related phrases: “Have a nice day,” and “Make nice,” and “Naughty but nice,” and “Nice and easy does it,” and “A nice place to visit,” and “Nice save,” and “Nice try,” and “Nice work if you can get it,” and “Nicely put,” and “No more mister nice guy,” and “The key to a nice, relaxed evening,” and “Wouldn’t it be nice?” and “Couldn’t happen to a nicer..” Notes: to make nice is to behave nicely to someone in an insincere manner.
  • *nis*→ *nice*: Anything with the “nice” sound or that can rhyme with nice can be changed to include the word nice: adminice-ter (administer), agnice-tic (agnostic), banniceter (bannister), botanicet (botanist), businice (business), cynicecism (cynicism), ethniceity (ethnicity), hedonicetic (hedonistic), hygienicet (hygienist), impressionicet (impressionist), happinice (happiness), uniceson (unison).
  • Good: We can also reference the naughty/nice idea with these phrases related to good: “A bill of goods,” and “A change is as good as a rest,” and “A good egg,” and “A good time was had by all,” and “A world of good,” and “All good things must come to an end,” and “All in good time,” and “No news is good news,” and “Good as gold,” and “Good as it gets,” and “Good as new,” and “Good as your word,” and “As good luck would have it,” and “Do a good turn,” and “Do you want the good news or the bad news?” and “Fight the good fight,” and “A good samaritan,” and “Good vibrations,” and “Good and ready,” and “Good enough to eat,” and “Good for a laugh,” and “Good for nothing,” and “Good riddance,” and “Good things come in small packages,” and “Goodness gracious me,” and “Read any good books lately?”
  • Could→ Good: As in, “As fast as his legs good carry him,” and “I goodn’t care less,” and “I good do it in my sleep,” and “I good see you a mile away,” and “If looks good kill,” and “Good have heard a pin drop,” and “Good have knocked me down with a feather.”
  • Bad: Make more references to Santa’s naughty/nice list with these bad-related phrases: “A bad break,” and “Ain’t half bad,” and “Bad intentions,” and “Bad romance,” and “A bad apple,” and “Bad blood,” and “Bad for your health,” and “A bad hair day,” and “Bad mouthed,” and “Bad news travels fast,” and “A bad taste in the mouth,” and “A bad time,” and “The bearer of bad news,” and “Do you want the good news or the bad news?” and “Fall into bad habits,’ and “From bad to worse,” and “Get off to a bad start,” and “Gone to the bad,” and “Got it bad,” and “In a bad way,” and “My bad,” and “Not bad,” and “On bad terms with,” and “Take the good with the bad,” and “No such thing as bad press,” and “Bad company,” and “Bad to the bone,” and “In (someone’s) bad books,” and “In bad shape,” and “Good riddance to bad rubbish.”
  • Bad→ Bed: As in, “Bad and breakfast,” and “A bad of nails,” and “Between you, me and the badpost,” and “Early to bad and early to rise,” and “Get into bad with,” and “Get out of the wrong side of the bad,” and “Go to bad with,” and “Don’t let the bad bugs bite.” Note: if something is between you, someone else, and the bedpost, then it’s a secret.
  • *bad*: Emphasize the “bad” in certain words: badger, badass, badge, badly and badminton.
  • *bed*→ *bad*: As in, “It’s badlam (bedlam) in here!” and “Strange badfellows (bedfellows),” and “Tears before badtime,” and “On your deathbad,” and “Trust is the badrock of a good relationship,” and “Change the badding (bedding),” and “Why do you look so badraggled (bedraggled)?” and “Meet you in the badroom,” and “A hotbad (hotbed) for criminal activity,” and “When laws are unjust, civil disobadience is necessary.” Notes: bedlam is a general confusion or chaos. Strange bedfellows are people who are brought together who have little in common. If something is bedraggled, then it looks ruined and dirty.
  • *bid*→ *bad*: As in, “Forbadden fruit,” and “Morbad interests,” and “To the highest badder.”
  • *bod*→ *bad*: As in, “Anybady who is anybady,” and “Bady blow,” and “Everybady and their cousin,” and “Over my dead bady,” and “Spoil somebady rotten,” and “They embady the true nature of forgiveness,” and “A feeling of forebading,” and “The embadiment of kindness.” Note: to embody something is to make it concrete and real.
  • *bud*→ *bad*: As in, “Study baddy,” and “Champagne taste on a beer badget,” and “Within badget,” and “Study Baddhism,” and “Badgie smuggler,” and “Gather rosebads,” and “A treat for your tastebads,” and “Contact the ombadsman,” and “They wouldn’t badge (budge).” Notes: a budgie smuggler is Australian slang for a type of tight-fitting Speedo. An ombudsman is a public official whose role is to represent and protect public interests.
  • Deer: Use this well-known deer-related phrase to refer to Santa’s reindeer – “Deer in headlights.”
  • Dear→ Deer: As in, “After you, my deer,” and “Deerly beloved, we are gathered here today,” and “Elementary, my deer Watson,” and “Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn,” and “Hang on for deer life,” and “Near and deer to my heart,” and “Nearest and deerest.”
  • Eerie→ Deerie: As in, “A deerie atmosphere.” Note: eerie means creepy.
  • Dairy→ Deery: As in, “Deery is scary.”
  • Rain, dear→ Rain, deer: As in, “It looks like rain, deer!”
  • Fond→ Fawned/Fawn’d: As in, “Absence makes the heart grow fawnder,” and “A fawned farewell.”
  • Dare→ Deer: As in, “Deer for more,” and “Deer to be different,” and “How deer you!” and “Deer to dream,” and “Who deers wins.”
  • Rude→ Rudolph: As in, “A rudolph awakening.”
  • *rood*→ *rudolph*: Change words that rhyme with “rude” to include “rudolph”: “Debt accrudolph” (accrued),” and “Coffee’s bU (brewed),” and “Crudolph (crude) oil,” and “Don’t intrudolph (intrude).”
  • Dash→ Dasher: Since Dasher is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dash in this list: “Crash and dasher,” and “Dasher to pieces,” and “Dasher off.”
  • *dish→ *dasher: As in, “What outlandasher (outlandish) claims!” and “Radasher cake,” and “Childasher (childish) behaviour,” and “A prudasher (prudish) mindset,” and “A fiendasher (fiendish) child.”
  • Dance: As Dancer is one of Santa’s reindeer, we’ve included dance-related phrases for you to play with: “Dance around the problem,” and “Dance like nobody’s watching,” and “Dance the night away,” and “Dance your socks off,” and “Just dance,” and “Lead a merry dance,” and “Make a song and dance about,” and “Save the last dance for me.” Notes: to dance around the problem is to avoid it. To lead someone on a merry dance is to make things prolonged and complicated for someone. To make a song and dance about something is to make an unnecessarily big deal out of it.
  • *dance→ *dancer: As in, “Take attendancer,” and “I need your guidancer,” and “In abundancer of,” and “In accordancer with,” and “Good riddancer to bad rubbish,” and “Avoidancer techniques.”
  • Dense→ Dance: As in, “The cake should be light and fluffy, not dance,” and “Are you dance?”
  • *dence→ *dance: As in, “Where’s the evidance?” and “A measured cadance,” and “In confidance,” and “Enter into correspondance with.”
  • Pants→ Prance: These puns will help you refer to Prancer, another of Santa’s reindeer: “Ants in his prance,” and “Beat the prance off,” and “By the seat of your prance,” and “Caught with your prance down,” and “Drop your prance,” and “Fancy prance,” and “Fly by the seat of your prance,” and “Keep your prance on,” and “Prance on fire,” and “Smarty prance,” and “Keep it in your prance,” and “Keep your prance on.”
  • Prince→ Prance: As in, “A prance among men,” and “Prance of darkness,” and “Prance of Persia.” Note: Prince of Persia is a video game franchise.
  • Prints→ Prance: As in, “I made some prance to hang on the walls.”
  • Common→ Comet: Make references to Comet, one of Santa’s reindeer, with these: “A victory for comet sense,” and “As comet as muck,” and “Comet ground,” and “Comet sense,” and “Nothing in comet,” and “The comet good.”
  • Comment→ Comet: As in, “No comet,” and “Any questions, comets or concerns?”
  • Come→ Comet: As in, “All good things must comet to an end,” and “Good things comet to those who wait,” and “As tough as they comet,” and “Christmas comets but once a year,” and “Comet and get it,” and “Comet away with me,” and “Comet on over,” and “Comet running,” and “Comet together,” and “Comet again?” and “Comet down hard on,” and “Comet down on (someone) like a tonne of bricks,” and “Comet full circle,” and “Comet hell or high water,” and “Comet home to a real fire,” and “Comet home to roost,” and “Comet in from the cold,” and “Comet of age,” and “Comet out and play,” and “Comet out of the closet,” and “Comet out of your shell,” and “Comet out swinging,” and “Comet rain or shine.”
  • Cosmic→ Comet: As in, “Comet ordering.” Note: cosmic ordering is the idea that positive thinking without action can help you realise your dreams.
  • Comic→ Comet: As in, “Comet strip,” and “Comet timing.”
  • Cupid: As Cupid is one of Santa’s reindeer, this Cupid-related phrase can stand in as a Santa pun: “Play Cupid.” Note: to play Cupid is to attempt to act as a match-maker.
  • Stupid*→ Cupid*: As in, “Criminal cupidity,” and “I’m with cupid,” and “Keep it simple, cupid,” and “Cupid is as cupid does,” and “Very interesting, but cupid.”
  • Kewpie→ Cupid: As in, “Cupid doll,” and “Cupid mayonnaise.” Note: kewpie is both a type of doll and a brand of mayonnaise.
  • *cup→ *cupid: As in, hiccupid, buttercupid, and teacupid.
  • Done→ Donner: Donner is another of Santa’s reindeer, so it’s been included in this list too: “Been there, donner that,” and “Donner and dusted,” and “A donner deal,” and “Easier said than donner,” and “Hard donner by,” and “Well donner,” and “When all is said and donner,” and “I’m donner for.”
  • Do not→ Donner: As in, “Donner look now,” and “Donner call us, we’ll call you,” and “Donner get me started,” and “Donner give up your day job,” and “Donner go there,” and “Donner hold your breath,” and “Donner knock yourself out,” and “Donner let the door hit you on the way out,” and “Donner tell me what to do,” and “Donner believe everything you hear,” and “Donner get caught with your pants down,” and “Donner knock it til you’ve tried it,” and “I donner understand.”
  • Dinner→ Donner: As in, “Donner and a movie,” and “A donner date,” and “A dog’s donner,” and “Guess who’s coming to donner?”
  • Pardon→ Par-donner: As in, “I beg your par-donner?” and “Well par-donner me for living,” and “Par-donner my French,” and “Par-donner me.” This also works well with other words ending with “don”, like abandon (abandonner), tendon (tendonner), armageddon (armageddonner) and London (Londonner).
  • Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out.” Note: Blitzen is one of Santa’s reindeer.
  • Bliss→ Blitz: As in, “Blitzed out,” and “A blitzful slumber,” and “Domestic blitz,” and “Ignorance is blitz,” and “Marital blitz.”
  • Blister*→ Blitzer*: As in, “Blitzering barnacle,” and “At blitzering speed,” and “Blood blitzer,” and “Blitzer pack,” and “Blitzering heat.” Note: a blister pack is a type of plastic and foil packaging, usually for medicine.
  • Present: We put gifts and presents under Christmas trees, so we’ve included these words in this list too. As in, “All present and correct,” and “Present company excepted,” and “No time like the present.”
  • Percent → Present: As in, “A hundred and ten present,” and “Genius is one present inspiration and 99 present perspiration.”
  • Gift: As in, “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth,” and “Gift of life,” and “A gift that keeps on giving,” and “A gift from above.”
  • Give → Gift: As in, “A dead giftaway,” and “Don’t gift up!” and “Don’t gift in,” and “Gift yourself a bad name,” and “Gift them a hand,” and “Gift and take,” and “Gift credit where credit is due,” and “Gift it a rest,” and “Gift it the green light,” and “Gift me a call,” and “Gift 110%”.
  • Gave → Gift: As in, “I gift my best.”
  • Cook→ Cookie: Since it’s a tradition to leave milk and cookies for Santa, we’ve included cookie puns in this list too: “Cookie the books,” and “Cookie up a storm,” and “Cookied up,” and “Too many cookies spoil the broth.”
  • Cookie: Some cookie-related phrases for you to use as puns: “A tough cookie,” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie jar,” and “That’s the way the cookie crumbles.”
  • Milk: To go with out cookie phrases, here are some milk-related phrases: “Mild as milk,” and “Don’t cry over spilt milk,” and “Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy,” and “Land of milk and honey,” and “The milk of human kindness.”
  • Coal: It’s traditional for Santa to leave coal for naughty children, so we’ve included coal-related phrases here: “Black as coal,” and “Rake over the coals,” and “Like a cat on hot coals.”
  • Goal→ Coal: As in, “A coal in mind,” and “Moving the coalposts,” and “Score a coal.”
  • Cold→ Coal’d: As in, “Coal’d as blue blazes,” and “Coal’d as ice,” and “Hot and coal’d,” and “Break out in a coal’d sweat,” and “Catch a coal‘d,” and “Catch your death of coal’d,” and “A coal’d heart,” and “Coal’d calling,” and “Coal’d comfort,” and “A coal’d day in hell,” and “Coal’d feet,” and “Coal’d light of day,” and “The coal’d shoulder,” and “Come in from the coal’d,” and “Coal’d, hard cash,” and “In coal’d blood,” and “A coal’d and frosty morning,” and “Left out in the coal’d,” and “Out coal’d,” and “Revenge is a dish best served coal’d,” and “Stone coal’d sober,” and “Take a coal’d, hard look.”
  • Cool→ Coal: As in, “Coal as a cucumber,” and “Coal beans,” and “A coal million,” and “Coal off,” and “Coal your heels,” and “Coal, calm and collected,” and “Keep your coal,” and “Play it coal,” and “A coaling-off period.”
  • Crawl→ Coal: As in, “Coal back into your shell,” and “Coal out of the woodwork,” and “Don’t try to walk before you can coal,” and “Makes my skin coal.”
  • *col* → *coal*: As in, “Coalour (colour) coded,” and “A work coalleague,” and “In from the coald,” and “A stamp coallection.” Other words that work with this: coallusion (collusion), coallateral (collateral), coallege (college), coalon (colon), coallaborate (collaborate), coalumn (column), protocoal (protocol), semicoalon (semicolon), chocoalate (chocolate), coallar (collar), coalogne (cologne), Coalumbia (Columbia), coallapse (collapse), coallagen (collagen), scoald (scold).
  • *gol*→ *coal*: As in, “Good as coald (gold),” and “You’re coalden (golden),” and “Do you play coalf (golf)?” Other words that work with this: coalem (golem), coaliath (goliath), coaldilocks (goldilocks), coally (golly), and maricoald (marigold).
  • *cole*→ *coal*: As in: coalslaw (coleslaw) and narcoalepsy (narcolepsy). Note: narcolepsy is a sleeping disorder.
  • Cul*→ Coal*: As in, “Third coalture kid,” and “This is not a coalt (cult),” and “Buddhism is about coaltivating kindness.” Other words that work with this format: coalprit (culprit), coall (cull), coalinary (culinary), coalpable (culpable), and coalminate (culminate).
  • Stock→ Stocking: As in, “In stocking,” and “Lock, stocking and barrel,” and “Out of stocking,” and “Take stocking.”
  • Stick→ Stocking: This one’s a bit of a stretch, but you can make it work: “A stocking to beat you with,” and “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp stocking,” and “Got hold of the wrong end of the stocking,” and “More than you can shake a stocking at,” and “Short end of the stocking,” and “Stocking point.” Note: a sticking point is a point in a discussion where it is difficult to reach an agreement.
  • Christmas Tree: Since it’s part of Santa’s story to leave presents under a tree, we’ve included tree-related phrases and puns in this list: “Done up like a Christmas tree,” and “Lit up like a Christmas tree,” and “Oh, Christmas tree..”
  • Tree→ Christmas tree: As in, “Difficult as nailing jelly to a Christmas tree,” and “Barking up the wrong Christmas tree,” and “Can’t see the wood for the Christmas trees,” and “Charm the birds out of the Christmas trees,” and “Legs like Christmas tree trunks,” and “Make like a Christmas tree and leave,” and “Money doesn’t grow on Christmas trees,” and “Christmas tree hugger,” and “You’re outta your Christmas tree.”
  • Three→ Tree: As in, “And baby makes tree,” and “Good things come in trees,” and “Tree strikes and you’re out!” and “Tree wise men,” and “Tree’s a charm.”
  • Free*→ Tree*: As in, “A symbol of treedom,” and “As tree as a bird,” and “Breathe treely,” and “Buy one, get one tree,” and “Tree for all,” and “Treedom of the press,” and “Get out of jail tree,” and “The best things in life are tree,” and “Land of the tree,” and “Leader of the tree world,” and “The truth will set you tree,” and “No such thing as a tree lunch,” and “When hell treezes over,” and “Think treely.”
  • *tri*→ *tree*: As in, “My hair needs a treem,” and “Full of nutree-ents,” and “What is your best attreebute?” and “How cool are golden retreevers?” and “It’s an intreensic (intrinsic) quality,” and “A new brand of vegan chicken streeps,” and “No streengs attached,” and “We’re going on a treep!” and “Pull the treegger,” and “Any more treecks up your sleeve?” and “A love treeangle,” and “A treevial problem,” and “We pay treebute to the fallen.”
  • *trea*→ *tree*: As in, “A real treet,” and “Medical treetment,” and “Royal treeson,” and “I treesure you,” and “Thick as treecle,” and “Swim upstreem,” and “A holiday retreet,” and “A winning streek,” and “A treecherous mountain path.”
  • *tee*→ *tree*: As in, “By the skin of your treeth,” and “The scene was treeming with people,” and “I guarantree it,” and “A welcoming committree,” and “A chunky manatree,” and “Self-estreem,” and “Charitable voluntreers,” and “My child’s school cantreen.”
  • *tary→ *tree: As in, “Proprietree cables,” and “Complimentree meals,” and “These colours are complementree,” and “Leave it with my secretree,” and “A sedentree life isn’t so healthy,” and “Dominion is a documentree you should watch,” and “It’s rudimentree addition,” and “But what’s the monetree value,” and “A solitree existence.” Notes: to be sedentary is to be inactive or seated. If something is rudimentary, then it’s basic.
  • *try*→ *tree*: As in, “Tree again,” and “A secret treest (tryst),” and “I’m tree-ing (trying)!” and “Meat is not an ethical industree,” and “Refugees should be welcomed to our countree,” and “Bigotree is still rampant,” and “Entree level,” and “A paltree sum,” and “Geometree is everywhere,” and “Chemistree lab,” and “What sultree weather.” Notes: if something is sultry, then it’s hot. A tryst is a private romantic meeting.
  • *ty*→ *tree*: As in, “Star qualitree,” and “Structural integritree,” and “The citree that never sleeps,” and “First-class facilitrees,” and “My dutrees come first,” and “Beautree isn’t everything,” and “A single entitree,” and “Maximum securitree.”
  • List: We’ve provided some list-related phrases so you can reference Santa’s naughty/nice list in your Santa puns: “Black list,” and “Hit list,” and “I’ve got a little list,” and “Laundry list,” and “Make a list; check it twice,” and “Short list,” and “Bucket list.” Some other list-related words: listing, listen, listless, populist, enlist, evangelist, journalist, specialist, checklist, stylist, holistic, blister and ballistic.
  • Last→ List: As in, “At long list,” and “At the list minute,” and “Breathe one’s list,” and “Famous list words,” and “First impressions list,” and “Do you have any list requests?” and “You haven’t heard the list of me!” and “The list bow,” and “List but not least,” and “List call,” and “List chance,” and “List ditch effort,” and “List gasp,” and “List in, first out,” and “The list laugh,” and “At the list minute,” and “List resort,” and “List rites,” and “The list straw,” and “The list taste of freedom,” and “List will and testament,” and “A listing impression,” and “On their list legs,” and “Save the list dance for me,” and “List I heard,” and “Every list one of us,” and “Fall at the list hurdle,” and “First and list,” and “Get in the list word,” and “The list thing I want.”
  • Lest→ List: As in, “Judge not, list you be judged,” and “List we forget.”
  • Lost→ List: As in, “All is not list,” and “Get list,” and “Better to have loved and list than never to have loved at all,” and “Long list,” and “List in translation,” and “List and found,” and “A list cause,” and “List soul,” and “List the plot,” and “List your marbles,” and “Make up for list time,” and “Missing, presumed list,” and “No love list.”
  • *last*→ *list*: As in, “A listing impression,” and “And listly…” and “A list-ditch effort.” Other words that would work with this format: listed (lasted), list-minute (last-minute), blist (blast), blister (blaster), plister (plaster), plistic (plastic), elistic (elastic), everlisting (everlasting), scholistic (scholastic).
  • *lest→ *list: As in, “Live life to the fullist,” and “The coolist friend,” and “The simplist solution.” Other words that would work with this format: tallist (tallest), smallist (smallest), cruellist (cruellest), shrillist (shrillest).
  • *lust*→ *list*: As in, “A shining listre (lustre),” and “Listrous, shining hair,” and “Listful (lustful) glances.” Other words that would work with this format: wanderlist (wanderlust), bloodlist (bloodlust), clister (cluster), illistrate (illustrate), blister (bluster), flistered (flustered), illistration (illustration).
  • *lis→ *list: As in, metropolist, trellist, chrysalist, borealist, and blisst. Notes: a trellis is an architectural structure. A borealis is a natural astronomical light display.
  • *lyst→ *list: As in, “A catalist (catalyst) for change,” and “Systems analist (analyst).”
  • Letter: Pay homage to the letter-writing tradition with these letter-related phrases: “Chain letter,” and “Four letter word,” and “Letter bomb,” and “Letter for letter,” and “Letter perfect,” and “To the letter.” Note: if something is to the letter, then it’s exactly as it’s been outlined, with great attention to detail.
  • Later→ Letter: As in, “Buy now, pay letter,” and “Catch you letter,” and “It’s letter than you think,” and “See you letter alligator,” and “Smell ya letter,” and “Sooner or letter,” and “Can we continue this letter?” and “I’ll call back letter,” and “Perhaps letter,” and “Ask questions letter.”
  • Let→ Letter: As in, “Don’t letter the sun go down on me,” and “Don’t letter the bastards grind you down,” and “Friends don’t letter friends drive drunk,” and “He wouldn’t just letter it lie,” and “How do I love thee? Letter me count the ways,” and “I won’t letter you down,” and “Letter it be,” and “Letter it bleed,” and “Letter alone,” and “Letter bygones be bygones,” and “Letter it all hang out,” and “Letter it slip through your fingers,” and “Letter me be brief,” and “Letter nature take its course,” and “Letter off some steam,” and “Letter me make one thing clear,” and “Letter off the hook,” and “Letter something slip,” and “Letter them eat cake,” and “Letter there be light,” and “Letter your conscience be your guide,” and “Letter your hair down,” and “Letter’s call the whole thing off,” and “Letter’s do lunch,” and “Letter’s face it,” and “Letter them down gently.”
  • *letter*: Letterhead, lettering, letterpress, letterbox, newsletter.
  • *latter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t fletter yourself,” and “It dropped with a cletter,” and “Bring a pletter.” Other words that work: spletter (splatter), slettern (slattern), flettery (flattery).
  • *litter*→ *letter*: As in, “Don’t be a letterbug,” and “Stop lettering,” and “Dusted in gletter (glitter).”
  • *lat*→ *letter*: As in, letteral (lateral), articuletter (articulate), confletter (conflate), emuletter (emulate), colletteral (collateral).
  • *let→ *letter: As in, “An entire paletter,” and “Outletter mall,” and “Run the gauntletter.” Other words that work: violetter (violet), bulletter (bullet), valetter (valet), milletter (millet), tabletter (tablet), and toiletter (toilet). Note: to run the gauntlet is a form of corporal punishment.
  • *lit*→ *letter*: As in, “It’s in the letterature (literature),” and “I meant that letterally,” and “That’s very letteral,” and “The lettergation (litigation) process.” Note: litigation is a legal process.
  • *lut*→ *letter: As in, “Fletter by, butterfly,” and “Look at all this cletter (clutter).”
  • Let her→ Letter: As in, “Letter rip!” and “Letter down gently,” and “Letter have a look.”
  • List→ Wishlist: As in, “I’ve got a little wishlist,” and “Laundry wishlist,” and “Make a wishlist, check it twice.”
  • Toy: As toys are the most traditional gift that Santa tends to leave (apart from coal), we’ve included toy-related puns and phrases too: “Toy Story,” and “Toy with someone’s affections,” and “Toys in the attic.”
  • Stay→ Stoy: As in, “Inexpensive. And built to stoy that way,” and “Outstoy one’s welcome,” and “Stoy ahead of the curve,” and “Stoy in touch,” and “Stoy on course,” and “Stoy safe,” and “Stoy tuned,” and “Stoy together,” and “Here to stoy,” and “Stoy behind,” and “Stoy the distance,” and “If you can’t take the heat, stoy out of the kitchen.” Other stay-related words: mainstoy (mainstay), satoy (satay), overstoy (overstay), homestoy (homestay), stoycation (staycation).
  • *toi*→ *toy*: As in, “Down the toylet,” and “Pack your toyletries.” Other words that would also work: toyletry (toiletry), toyl (toil), tortoyse (tortoise), stoy-ic (stoic), stoy-icism (stoicism).
  • *ty→ *toy: As in, “Let’s partoy,” and “Keep your integritoy,” and “In the citoy centre.” Other words that will work: serendipitoy (serendipity), facilitoy (facility), dutoy (duty), entitoy (entity), beautoy (beauty), qualitoy (quality), stoyle (style), stereotoype (stereotype), securitoy (security), propertoy (property).
  • Deliver: As in, “Deliver the goods,” and “Same day delivery,” and “Stand and deliver,” and “A special delivery.”
  • Workshop: Since Santa’s workshop is where the magic happens, we’ve included workshop-related phrases and puns in this list. As in, “Santa’s workshop,” and “Idle minds are the devil’s workshop.”
  • Work→ Workshop: As in “A workshop in progress,” and “All in a day’s workshop,” and “Bury yourself in your workshop,” and “In the workshops.”
  • Shop→ Workshop: As in, “All over the workshop,” and “Like a bull in a china workshop,” and “Live all over the workshop,” and “One stop workshop,” and “Talk workshop,” and “Top of the workshop.”
  • Polaroid→ North Polaroid
  • *eve*: As Santa makes his round-the-world trip on Christmas Eve, we felt that eve-related phrases, words and puns would be appropriate. Emphasise the “eve” that exists in certain words: achieve, reprieve, sieve, relieve, sleeve, peeve, develop, fever, event, perseverance, ever, everyday, eventually, everything, evergreen, evening, every, retrieve and believe.
  • *eav*→ *eve*: As in, “Are you evesdropping?” and “Under the eves (eaves),” and “I’m leeveing.” Other words that would work with this format: weeve (weave), heeve (heave), interweeve (interweave), and bereevement (bereavement).
  • Christmas, Eve: If you know anyone named Eve, you can make a very specific Christmas Eve pun – “Why it’s Christmas, Eve!”
  • Land→ Lapland: Santa’s workshop is said to be found in Lapland, so we’ve got some Lapland-style puns for you here: “A blot on the laplandscape,” and “In the lapland of the living,” and “A real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere lapland,” and “In the lapland of nod,” and “La la lapland,” and “Lapland ahoy!” and “Lapland of hope and glory,” and “Lapland of make believe,” and “Lapland of milk and honey,” and “A laplandscape painting,” and “Living off the fat of the lapland,” and “Never never lapland,” and “No man’s lapland,” and “Political laplandscape,” and “A rough laplanding,” and “The waste lapland,” and “The lapland of the rising sun,” and “The lapland of the free,” and “The lapland that time forgot,” and “The law of the lapland,” and “By a laplandslide,” and “The promised lapland,” and “Cats always lapland on their feet.” Notes: “a real nowhere man sitting in his nowhere land” is a line from The Beatles  song “Nowhere Man”. A blot on the landscape is an unattractive part that takes away from the otherwise attractive whole.
  • Cherry→ Sherry: In some countries, it’s a tradition to leave sherry for Santa, so we’ve got some sherry-related puns in here too: “Sherry pick,” and “Sherry pie,” and “Sherry ripe,” and “A second bite of the sherry,” and “The sherry on the cake,” and “A bowl of sherries.”
  • Share→ Sherry: As in, “A problem sherry’ed is a problem halved,” and “A lion’s sherry,” and “Sherry and sherry alike,” and “Learn to sherry.”
  • Sheer→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry driving pleasure,” and “Sherry madness,” and “Sherry nonsense.”
  • Scary→ Sherry: As in, “Sherry thoughts,” and “A sherry story.”
  • Dear → Beer: In Australia, it’s a tradition to leave beers (rather than milk) for Santa along with cookies, so we’ve included beer puns for you to use: “Oh beer me” and “Hang on for beer life” and “Near and beer to my heart” and “Elementary, my beer Watson.”
  • Ear → Beer: As in “Grin from beer to beer.” and “Let’s play it by beer.” and “Lend a beer” and “In one beer and out the other.”
  • Peer → Beer: As in “Beer pressure” and “It’s like she was beering into my soul.”
  • Pier → Beer: As in “Take a long walk off a short beer.”
  • Bear → Beer: As in “Grizzly beer” and “Beer a resemblance” and “The right to beer arms” and “Beer down upon” and “Bear witness to …” and “Beer false witness” and “Beer fruit” and “Beer in mind that …” and “Bring to beer
  • Bare → Beer: As in “The beer necessities” and “Beer one’s teeth” and “Laid beer” and “The beer bones” and “The cupboard was beer
  • Buyer → Beer: As in “She’s a regular beer at our shop.” (Bit of a stretch!)
  • Beard → Beerd: As in “Neck beerd” and “His beerd was as white as snow.”
  • *ber* → *beer*: Words that contains the “ber” sound (or similar) are often opportunities for terrible beer puns: collabeerate, dismembeermentbeereavement, beereaved, beerds (birds), beerthplace (birthplace), beerglary (burglary), beergeoning (burgeoning), cumbeersome, delibeeration, decembeer, cucumbeer, exubeerant, libeerties (liberties), libeerals, libeertarian, libeeration, novembeer, numbeers, pubeerty, membeership, reimbeers (reimburse), remembeer, reverbeeration, robbeeries, robbeery, slumbeer, sobeer (sober).
  • Be* → Beer*: More terrible beer puns can be made using words that start with the “be” sound: beerwilderment, beerlongings, beerbliography, beerseiged, beerstowed, beermused, beerwitched, beergotry, beertersweetbeerllionair.
  • Bandanna→ Bandonner: As in, “Bandonners are a cute accessory.”

Santa-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Santa puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

santa, claus, father christmas, saint nick/nicholas, kris kringle, christmas, ho ho ho, gifts, present, naughty, nice, good, bad, elves, elf, reindeer, rudolph, dasher, dancer, prancer, vixen, comet, cupid, donner, blitzen, sleigh, chimney, sack, cookies, milk, coal, stocking, tree, list, letter, wishlist, toys, candy, deliver, workshop, grotto, north pole, christmas eve, lapland, mrs. claus, sherry, beer, rice porridge, pudding, yule

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Did you find the Santa-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments below! Are you looking for word play for text messages, Facebook, Twitter or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny Santa pun pictures? Or perhaps you just want more Santa puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’ve got any Santa puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia! 🙂✨

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Coffee Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on coffee puns! ☕ Whether you’re looking for coffee puns for a photo caption, crafting the perfect coffee pun pickup line, hunting for coffee one-liners, or just want some corny pun-based coffee jokes, I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for here 🙂 If not, please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page!

Most coffee puns centre around one of 3 general topics: names of different types of coffee (espresso, mocha, etc.), coffee preparation utensils/procedures (plunger, grind, roast, mug, caffeine etc.) and coffee ingredients/products (sugar, grounds, cream, etc.). Mug puns seem to be a particular favourite on the internet and are included in this entry, but may also get their own entry at some point.

As usual there are related words, related phrase, coffee jokes, and visual coffee puns (comics, memes, etc.) further down the page.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on tea puns and food puns.

Coffee Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about coffee that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
  • Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
  • Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane have been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
  • Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground
  • Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
  • Bitter: As in “He cam to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
  • Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
  • Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
  • Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
  • * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
  • Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
  • Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
  • Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
  • Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
  • Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
  • Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
  • Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
  • Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break”. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid
  • Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
  • Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
  • Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we ca do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
  • Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
  • The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
  • Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
  • Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!).
  • Turkish: Same explanation as above.
  • Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
  • Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
  • Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
  • Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
  • Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc
  • Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.” and “”
  • Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
  • Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
  • Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
  • Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
  • Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
  • Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
  • Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
  • Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
  • Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!”. It is also used as a term of endearment as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
  • Fair tradeThis term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
  • Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
  • Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
  • Cup: This has a few different meaning outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
  • Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
  • They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
  • Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
  • Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (This is a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
  • Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
  • Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
  • Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun.
  • Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped form the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
  • I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
  • Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema make the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
  • Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
  • Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
  • Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be s subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
  • Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
  • Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
  • Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • back office bean counter
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • don’t cry over spilt milk
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • get in on the ground floor
  • both feet on the ground
  • hit the ground running
  • in hot water
  • that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee
  • spill the beans
  • cool beans
  • not my cup of tea
  • tea and sympathy
  • brake fluid
  • you got creamed
  • different kettle of fish
  • the pot calling the kettle black
  • a watched pot never boils
  • between the cup and the lip
  • a storm is brewing
  • storm in a teacup
  • trouble is brewing
  • Have another? Please share it in the comments at the bottom of the page!

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

  • How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
  • What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  • Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
  • How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  • What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
  • What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂