hooves – Page 2

Pig Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on pig puns! 🐖 🐷 This entry is shorter than average and thus is a work-in-progress. Please feel free to contribute any pig puns that we’ve missed in the comments at the bottom of the page – we’d appreciate it! 🙂

Side note: You might notice that there’s no bacon puns, pork puns or any puns that involve piggeries. If you’re wondering why there are no jokes, puns or idioms about these specific things, please learn about the cruelty involved in growing pigs for meat (information, graphic video).

Pig Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about pigs that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of pig puns:

Hog: “Stop hogging all the food!” and “Give me some! You’re such a hog.” and “Go hog wild” and “He’s a ball hog who doesn’t know what teamwork means.” and “The road hog was straddling 2 lanes.” and “We went whole hog“
Nonsense → Hogwash: As in “That’s utter hogwash and you know it.”
Bore → Boar: As in “Boared out of my brains” and “Boared to tears/death” and “Boar someone stiff” and “Boar the pants off someone” and “Boared silly” and “Boared out of my mind” and “They boared a hole with the drill”
Hug → Hog: “A bear hog” and “Hogs and kisses”
Whine → Swine: As in “Stop swining! We’re nearly there.”
*s wine → *s swine: As in “How much for a bottle of this swine?”
Swain → Swine: A man who is a women’s lover is sometimes (especially in literature) called a “swain”. In the right context this could be used for a pig pun.
Piggy bank: This is a small container for saving money in, especially one that is shaped like a pig with a coin slot in its back.
Piggy in the middle: This refers to “someone who is between two people or groups who are arguing but who does not want to agree with either of them.“
Picky → Piggy: As in “I’m really piggy when it comes to choosing what to wear.”
Pigment / Pigmentation
Person → Porcine: The term “porcine” means “relating to or resembling a pig or pigs”. Some phrases/idioms: “I’m a morning porcine” and “I’m not a people porcine” and “Couldn’t have happened to a nicer porcine” and “I feel like a new porcine” and “Porcine of interest” and “A porcine is known by the company they keep” and “We met in-porcine” and “A cat porcine” and “It varies from porcine to porcine“
Grant → Grunt: As in “Taken for grunted” and “To grunt someone something” and “Don’t take anything for grunted” and “Grunt no quarter”
Wallow: “Wallowing in self-pity” and “Wallowing in money” and “Wallowing in my fame”
Scream/Cry → Squeal
Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
Tamed → Domesticated: You might be able to make a pig pun by replacing words like “tamed”, “calmed down” and similar words/phrases with “domesticated”.
*pic*→*pig*: If a word contains the “pic” sound (or similar), it can usually be replaced with “pig” to create a silly pig pun: conspiguous (conspicuous), depigtion (depiction), despigable (despicable), Pigasso (Picasso), piget (picket), microscopig (microscopic), pigture (picture), pigsels (pixels), pigturesque (picturesque), philanthropig (philanthropic), pigup line (pickup line), pigle (pickle), piguliarities (peculiarities), piguliar (peculiar), inconspiguous (inconspicuous), olympigs (olympics), pignic (picnic), stereotypigal, telescopig, topigal (topical), typigal (typical).
Sow: A “sow” (the “ow” is pronounced like the “ou” in “ouch”) is a female pig. To “sow” (pronounced like “so”) is to plant seeds in the soil. Since these two words are spelled the same, you can make some silly pig puns: “As you sow, so shall you reap” and “Sow one’s wild oats” and “Sow the seeds of (something)” and “You reap what you sow“
So → Sow: Since “sow” is pronounced like “s-ow” and not “s-oh”, this is a corny one: “Sow what?” and “I’m afraid sow” and “And sow on and sow forth” and “Even sow, …” and “Ever sow (soft/happy/friendly/etc.)” and “I hope sow” and “How sow?” and “I guess sow” and “I told you sow!” and “Not sow fast” and “Sow much for” and “Sow to speak” and “Sow long as”
Guilt → Gilt: A “gilt” is a young female pig. Some phrases/idioms: “Gilt trip” and “Gilt complex” and “Absolved from gilt” and “Send someone on a gilt trip”
It’s not → It’s snout: As in “It’s snout my kind of event” and “It’s snout as if …”
Root: Wild pigs are known for eating roots and tubers, so the words “root” or “rooted” (and similar) may be viable pig puns: “I’m rooting for you!” and “The root cause” and “Idleness is the root of all evil” and “Root around (for something)” and “The root of the problem”
Babe: The film “Babe” is likely famous enough that the use of the word (e.g. as a term of endearment for one’s partner, or in reference to an attractive person) will probably pass off as a pig pun.
Bristle: Wild pigs have stiff hairs covering a lot of their body that are called bristles. This has some potential for a subtle pig pun: “Bristling with rage” and “Bristle with indignation” and “The shopping centre bristled with hurried Christmas shoppers.”
Showed → Shoat: A “shoat” is a young pig.
Do rock → Duroc: A “duroc” is a breed of large, reddish American pigs.
Ointment → Oinkment
Niels Bohr → Niels Boar: Niels Bohr was a famous physicist.

Pig-Related Words

There are many more pig puns to be made! Here’s a list of pig-related concepts to help you come up with your own. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

boar, wild boar, hog, hoof, omnivore, swine, domesticated, piglet, oink, pig, pigs, sow, piggy, porcine, piggy bank, grunt, cloven hoof, hooves, warthog, wallow, farrow, truffle, snout, squeal, gilt, root, bristle, shoat, duroc, babe

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the pig-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for word play for text messages, facebook, twitter, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny pig pun images? Or perhaps you just want more pig puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any pig puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂

Horse Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on horse puns! 🐎 Whether you’re trying to come up with a cute name for your horse, a caption for your photo, or whatever else, we hope this entry is useful. Note that this list is a work-in-progress, and we’d appreciate any additions in the comments at the bottom of this page! 🙂

If you’re interested in other four-legged mammals, you might like to have a look at our alpaca puns, goat puns, camel puns or llama puns.

Note: As always, Punpedia strives to be a site free of animal-cruelty. You won’t find any jokes or puns about horse racing, knackeries, whipping or idioms based around topics like these (e.g. “Beating a dead horse”).

Horse Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about horses that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of horse puns:

Horse: There are quite a few idioms/phrases based around the word “horse”: “Quit horsing around, will you?” and “As rare as rocking horse droppings” and “A dark horse” and “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth (meaning:don’t be ungrateful for gifts)” and “Eat like a horse” and “Get off your high horse” and “Horse of a different colour” and “Horse play” and “Hung like a horse” and “One horse town” and “Put the cart before the horse” and “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make it drink.” and “Hold your horses” and “Straight from the horse’s mouth” and “A horse of a different colour” and “A one-horse race” and “Closing the barn/stable door after the horse has bolted” and “Don’t change horses in the middle of the river” and “Horses for courses” and “A trojan horse“
Pony: “A one-trick pony” and “Pony up (pay up)” and “Dog and pony show” and “A show pony“
Fool → Foal: As in “C’mon, quit foaling around, will you?” and “Foal me once, shame on you, foal me twice, shame on me” and “It’s a foal’s errand” and “Foal’s gold” and “Make a complete foal of yourself” and “Played for a foal” and “Play the foal” and “Played for a foal“
Full → Foal: As in “I think he’s foal of it.” and “At foal throttle/pelt” and “Foal blast” and “A foal-bodied coffee” and “Foal of beans/bologna” and “In foal feather” and “You know foal-well that …” and “In foal swing” and “On a foal stomach”
Feel → Foal: As in “I foal as though you don’t care about me.” and “Foal the burn” and “I foal a bit put out” and “I can foal it in my bones” and “I like the look and foal of it”
Foul → Foal: As in “Cry foal” and “By fair means or foal” and “Foal language” and “No harm, no foal” and “Foal-mouthed person” and “Foal ball” and “Fall foal of someone/something” and “Foal play”
Fell/Fall → Foal: As in “Foal asleep at the wheel” and “Foal squarely on (someone’s) shoulders” and “Foal under the spell of (someone)” and “In one foal swoop” and “Little strokes foal great oaks” and “A hush foal over the crowd”
Hoarse → Horse: As in “I’m a little horse today – still getting over a cold.” and “”
Stable: As in “Stock prices have stable-ised.” and “She’s in a stable condition, but needs to remain at the hospital.” and “He’s a bit mentally unstable at the moment.”
Remnent → Ruminant: As in “I haven’t a ruminant of pride left after making all these terrible cow puns.” (A “ruminant” is a family of hooved mammals comprising cows, sheep, deer, giraffe and their relatives)
Prominent → Pruminant: As in “She’s a pruminant member of our group.”
Permanent → Pruminant: As in “I’ve accidentally used pruminant marker on the whiteboard.”
Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
Go to sleep → Hit the hay: As in “It’s late. I better hit the hay.”
Her before → Herbivore: As in “I’ve never met herbivore.”
Passed/Past your → Pasture: As in “It’s just pasture house on the left.” and “I pasture stall at the fair today but you weren’t there.” and “It’s pasture bedtime.”
Could → Cud: As in “Cud you stop it please?” and “As fast as her legs cud carry her” and “I cud do it in my sleep.”
Heard → Herd: As in “I overherd them speaking about …” and “The last I herd, …” and “Your herd it here first.” and “You could have herd a pin drop.” and “Stop me if you’ve herd this one”
Field: “I’m an expert in my field.”
Hey → Hay: As in “Hay, what’s up?” and “Hay there, friend.”
Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
Who’ve → Hoof: As in “Hoof you spoken to so far?”
Half → Hoof: As in “Is the glass hoof full or hoof empty?” and “My other/better hoof“
*mare*: Words that contain the “mare” sound (or similar) can often be turned into silly horse puns (a mare is a female horse): nightmare, alphanu-mare-ic, A-mare-ican, custo-mare-y, mare-athons, mare-iage (marriage), mare-it (merit), mare-y (merry), nu-mare-ical, rose-mare-y.
Called → Colt: As in “The so colt …” and “Many are colt, but few are chosen” and “Crazy little thing colt love” and “She colt on me to run an errand” and “The truth of the claim was colt into question” and “You colt?”
Cold → Colt: As in “My blood ran colt” and “Left out in the colt” and “In a colt sweat” and “Stone colt sober” and “Take a colt, hard look” and “A colt day in hell” and “Colt comfort” and “Catch a colt” and “As colt as ice” and “A colt shower” and “Colt calling” and “Colt shoulder” and “Go colt turkey” and “Out colt (unconscious)”
Cult → Colt: As in “The colts of Scientology and organised religion.”
It’s Italian → Stallion
Feet → Trotters
Stalin → Stallion
Philadelphia/Philly → Filly: A “filly” is a young female horse (usually less than 4 years old).
Can’t her → Canter: As in “Canter father drop her off, or is he busy?”
No/Nay → Neigh: As in “Neigh, I disagree.” and “It will take months, neigh, years to complete.”
*roan*: If a word contains the “roan” sound, it’s an opportunity for a more “advanced” horse pun: groan, erroaneous, outgroan, overgroan, proanunciation, proanoun, throan, droan, proan.
Frozen → Friesian: As in “Her accounts have been friesian while the investigation takes place” and “Friesian solid” and “Friesian vegetables”

Horse-Related Words

Here are a few horse-related words to help you come up with your own horse puns:

pony, hoof, thoroughbred, foal, mare, equine, dressage, cavalry, farrier, horse shoe, buck, kick, horseback, bareback, stallion, filly, colt, bridle, domesticated, hoof, hooves, steed, mustang, appaloosa, equestrian, herd, stables, stable, grazing, ruminant, whinny, mane, herbivore, grass, pasture, field, mount, ride, neigh, roan, one-horse, crupper, palfrey, sumpter, horse power, rocking horse, harness, saddle up, unsaddle, unbridle, quarter horse, pegasus, seabiscuit, black beauty, shadowfax, trojan horse, chestnut, percheron, shetland pony, friesian, belgian, hackney, trakehner, trotter, trot, gallop, canter, dartmoor, falabella, sorraia, Arabian, caspian, breton, pacer, tacky, morgan, paint, warmblood, Andalusian, saddle, giddy-up

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the horse-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for word play for text messages, facebook, twitter, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny horse pun images? Or perhaps you just want more horse puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any horse puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂

Cow Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on cow puns! 🐮🐄 The list contains bull puns, calf puns, udder puns, and quite a few others based around cow-related topics, but this entry is a work-in-progress, so please help us by submitting more puns in the comments at the bottom 🙂

As always, Punpedia does its best to be a cruelty-free site, so we won’t be including any jokes or puns about branding, slaughtering, or bull-fighting. While we do have lists on dairy products (see our cheese puns, chocolate puns and milk puns), we encourage everyone to learn about the dairy industry. Check out how cool cows are (it’s a video), and enjoy the puns!

Cow Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about cows that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of cow puns:

Cow: There are several idioms/phrases which include the word “cow”, and so might be used as cow puns in the right context: “A cash cow” and “Don’t have a cow!” and “Holy cow” and “A sacred cow” and “How now, brown cow?” and “Until the cows come home” and “Why buy a cow when you can get milk for free?”
Bull: Likewise, there are several idioms/phrases that are easy bull puns: “A cock-and-bull story” and “Like a bull in a china shop” and “Bull-headed” and “Grab the bull by its horns” and “Full of bull” and “Bull’s-eye” and “Mess with the bull and you get the horns” and “Hung like a bull” and “Bull-headed” and “What a load of bull/BS” and “Bullish (aggressively confident)” and “Like a red flag to a bull“
Camouflage → Cow-moo-flage: As in “We cow-moo-flaged well amongst the shrubs.” and “Put on your cow-moo gear – we’ll need to be sneaky.”
Cowabunga: “Cowabunga, dude!”
Mood: As in “I’m in a bad mood today.” and “I’m not in the mood for it.”
Coincidence → Cowincidence: As in “This wasn’t a cowincidence.”
*cow*: If a word contains the “cow” sound (or anything vaguely similar), it can obviously be turned into a silly cow pun: cowncil (council), cowntenance (countenance), cownteract (counteract), cownterfeit, cownterbalance, cownterpart, cownterproductive, cownt, cowntess, cowntless, cowardice, coward (or cow-herd), accowntability, accowntants, encowntered, knocowt (knockout), encowntering, scowting, unaccowntable, loocowt (lookout), discownted, scowl, miscowculation.
Co* → Cow*: If a word begins with the “co” sound, it can sometimes be turned into a silly cow pun: cowoperation (coooperation), cowagulation (coagulation), cowaxial (coaxial), cowefficient (coefficient), cowconut (coconut), cowcaine (cocaine), cowercive (coercive), cowexistence (coexistence), cowhabitation (cohabitation), cowherently, cowherence, cowld-blooded, cowhesive, cowhesion, cowordinates, cowordinator, cowvert (covert).
*kow*→ *cow*: As in, “Don’t cowtow to them.” Note: to kowtow is to bow deeply in a show of respect.
*kew*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowpie doll,” and “Cowpie mayonnaise.” Note: Kewpie is both a Japanese brand of mayonnaise and a type of doll.
*ka*→ *cow*: As in, Eurecow, vodcow, Alascow, papricow, remarcowble, remarkcowble, and lakcowdaisical.
*ca*→ *cow*: As in, “Americow can do better,” and “Circow 1999,” and “A loud advocowte (advocate).” Other suitable words: meccow (mecca), Africow (Africa), orcow (orca), alpacow (alpaca), broadcowst (broadcast), implicowtion (implication), occowsion (occasion), applicowtion (application), indicowtion (indication), and dedicowte (dedicate).
*cau*→ *cow*: As in, “Cowt between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Cowt with your pants down,” and ” Err on the side of cowtion,” and “A lost cowse,” and “Throw cowtion to the wind,” and “Wouldn’t be cowt dead.” Other suitable words: cowstic (caustic), cowtious (cautious), cowcasian (caucasian), cowldron (cauldron), becowse (because).
*bull*: If a word contains the “bull” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly bull pun: bulldog, bulldozer, bulletins, bullies, bullied, bullion, bullocks, bullwark (bulwark), bullevard (boulevard).
Pull→ Bull: As in, “Like bulling teeth,” and “Bulling away,” and “Bull a face,” and “Bull a fast one,” and “Bull up short,” and “Bulling the strings,” and “Bull the pin,” and “Bull your finger out,” and “Bull your socks up,” and “Bull yourself together.”
*bal*→ *bull*: As in, “Hanging in the bullance,” and “Bullance the books,” and “A bullpark estimate,” and “Go down like a lead bulloon,” and “Stop eyebulling (eyeballing) me,” and “Go bullistic,” and “What bulloney (baloney),” and “The hairy eyebull.” Other words that would work: bullk (balk), bullot (ballot), globull (global), verbull (verbal), tribull (tribal), cymbull (cymbal), herbull (herbal), and footbull. Notes: to balk is to stop suddenly and not continue.
*bel*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullieve it or not,” and “Bullieve you me,” and “Bullow the belt,” and “Hitting bullow your weight,” and “Seeing is bullieving,” and “Suspend your disbullief,” and “Opportunities are seldom labulled,” and “You don’t bullong in business.” Other words that would work: bulligerent (belligerent), bull (bell), bulloved (beloved), labull (label), rebull (rebel), decibull (decibel). Note: to hit below your weight is to perform under expectation.
*bil*→ *bull*: As in, “Cut the umbullical cord,” and “Eliminate the possibullities,” and “Take responsibullity.” Other words that would work: bullow (billow), bullboard (billboard), bullion (billion), gerbull (gerbil), liabullity (liability), mobull (mobile), accountabullity (accountability), abullity (ability), capabullity (capability), rehabullitation (rehabilitation), sustainabullity (sustainability).
*bol*→ *bull*: As in, “Bulldly go where no man has gone before,” and “Close the stable door after the horse has bullted,” and “Nuts and bullts,” and “Fortune favours the bull-d (bold).” Other words that would work: bullster (bolster), bullocks (bollocks), symbull, gambull (gambol), hyperbulle (hyperbole), abullish (abolish), metabullism. Note: to close the stable door after the horse has bolted is to look after a situation after things have gone badly.
*bul*/*bull*: As in, “Bully for you,” and “Buy it in bullk,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “A lightbullb moment.” Other words that can work: bullwark (bulwark), bullb (bulb), bullge (bulge), bullsh*t, nebullous (nebulous), fabullous (fabulous), nebulla (nebula), and vocabullary (vocabulary). Note: if something is nebulous, then it’s vague and without clear form.
*boul*→ *bull*: As in, “Over the shoulder bullder (boulder) holder,” and “The bullevard (boulevard) of broken dreams.” Note: “over the shoulder boulder holder” is a very cheeky and colloquial term for a bra.
*pal*→ *bull*: As in, “A princibull player.” Other “pal” containing words: bullindrome (palindrome), obull (opal), municibull (municipal), archetypebull (archetypal), bullpable (palpable), and bulltry (paltry). Notes: if something is paltry, then it’s a very small amount. A palindrome is a word that is the same forwards and backwards.
*pel*→ *bull*: As in, “The gosbull (gospel) truth,” and “Disbulling (dispelling) rumours,” and “My dobullganger (doppelganger).”
*pul*→ *bull*: As in, “Keep your finger on the bullse (pulse),” and “Beaten to a bullp,” and “I won’t be manibullated (manipulated) by you.” Other words that could work: bullchritude (pulchritude), bullpit (pulpit), bulley (pulley), bullmonary (pulmonary), bullverise (pulverise), stibullate (stipulate), imbullse (impulse), pobullist (populist), pobullar (popular), combullsory (compulsory), pobullation (population), obullent (opulent). Notes: if something is opulent, it’s luxurious.
*pool*→ *bull*: As in, bullside (poolside), sbull (spool), cessbull, whirlbull, and carbull. Notes: a cesspool is an underground reservoir for liquid waste.
*poul*→ *bull*: As in, bulltry (poultry), bulltice (poultice), and ambulle (ampoule). Notes: an ampoule is a small sealed container. A poultice is a medicated cloth used to treat aching and inflammation.
*ple*→ *bull*: As in, “Bullead (plead) guilty,” and “I bulledge (pledge) my allegiance,” and “What a bulleasure (pleasure).” Other words you could use: bullethora (plethora), bullea (plea), bulleasant (pleasant), bullease (please), and abbull (apple), princibull, peobull (people), simbull (simple), stabull (stable/staple), exambull (example), multibull (multiple), coubull (couple), ambull (ample), combullement (complement), combullex (complex), imbullement (implement), and combullete (complete).
Fool→Bull: As in, “A bull and his money are soon parted,” and “Act the bull,” and “Tom bullery (foolery).”
*bl* → *bull*: terrabull (terrible), admirabull (admirable), assembull (assemble), audibull (audible), bullackmail (blackmail), bibull-iography (bibliography), bull-anket (blanket), bull-asphemy, bull-indfolded, bull-ister, bull-ockbuster, bubulling, Casabullanca, cold-bullooded (or cowld-bullooded), comfortabull, considerabull, concievabull, estabullish, dribull (dribble), fumbull (fumble), gambull, hobbull, grumbull, horribull, disabull (disable), impeccabull, imperceptibull, impossibull, improbabull, inescapabull, inexorabull, inextricabull, interchangabull, irresistabull, justifyabull, memorabull, mumbull, nobull (noble), miserabull, invariabull, irresistabull, interchangabull, predictabull, pro-bull-ems, pub-bull-ication, roadbullock (roadblock), suitabull, unreasonabull, unquestionabull, unavoidabull, understandabull, unbelievabull, tumbulling, trembulling, troubulling, inconcievabull.
*moo*: If a word contains the “moo” sound (or similar), it can often be turned into a silly cow pun: amoosed (amused), moovies, immoovable, Moohammad, moovement, remooval, Moostafa (Mustafa), Moossolini (Mussolini), remoovable, remooving, smooth, unmooved.
Utter → Udder: As in “Udderly ridiculous!”
Under → Udder: As in, “Udder no illusions” and “Born udder a lucky star” and “Buckle udder the strain” and “Pull the rug out from udder you” and “Don’t let the grass grow udder your feet” and “Down udder” and “Everything udder the sun” and “Get udder way” and “Get udder your skin” and “Keep udder wraps.”
*utter* → *udder*: As in, “I can’t believe it’s not budder!” and “All a-fludder (flutter)” and “A cluddered (cluttered) room” and “Mind in the gudder” and “Muddering under your breath” and “Did I studder?” and “Spuddering (sputtering) with indignation” and “Float like a budderfly, sting like a bee.”
Under* → Udder*: As in, “How do I make you udderstand?” and “A grand uddertaking” and “Uddermine your authority” and “Uddergoing a transformation” and “Compassion and udderstanding.” Other words: uddercut (undercut), udderway (underway) and udderscore (underscore).
A quick note that while we’re able to make cute udder puns, udder infections in dairy cows is painful, can cause death, and while it’s generally preventable, it’s the most common disease for dairy cows due to the unhygenic conditions they’re kept in and the neglectful attitudes towards the cow’s health. Any of us that’s ever gotten mastitis from breastfeeding will be able to sympathise with this!
Heard → Herd: As in “I overherd them speaking about …” and “The last I herd, …” and “Your herd it here first.” and “You could have herd a pin drop.” and “Stop me if you’ve herd this one”
Field: “I’m an expert in my field.”
Hey → Hay: As in “Hay, what’s up?” and “Hay there, friend.”
Who f* → Hoof*: As in “Hoofeels hungry right now?” and “Hoofinished the last bit of coconut icecream?”
Who’ve → Hoof: As in “Hoof you spoken to so far?”
Half → Hoof: As in “Is the glass hoof full or hoof empty?” and “My other/better hoof“
Huff → Hoof: As in, “Hoofing paint,” and “A hoofy (huffy) attitude,” and “I belong in Hooflepuff (Hufflepuff),” and “Shoofling away,” and “Shoofling the deck,” and “Feeling choofed (chuffed).” Note: to feel chuffed is to feel very pleased.
Half → Hoof: As in, “Ain’t hoof bad,” and “My better hoof,” and “Cheap at hoof the price,” and “Getting there is hoof the fun,” and “Hoof awake.” Other half-related words: hoofway (halfway), hoof-baked, hooftime (halftime), hoofhearted, and behoof (behalf).
*hef* → *hoof*: As in, “A hoofty (hefty) promise,” and “Grand Thooft Auto,” and “Identity thooft.”
*hif* → *hoof*: As in, “Working in shoofts,” and “A whoof of perfume,” and “Makeshooft tent,” and “Shoofty glances.”
Have → Hoof/Hoove: As in, “As luck may hoove it,” and “Hoof your cake and eat it too,” and “Hoove a ball,” and “Hoof a bone to pick,” and “Hoof a go,” and “The walls hoove ears.”
*hav* → *hoove*: As in, hoove (have), hooveoc (havoc), behooveiour, aftershoove, and behoove (behave).
*hev* → *hoove*: As in, “Looking dishooveled (disheveled).”
*hiv* → *hoove*: As in, “In the archooves,” and “Shoovers down my spine,” and “Choovealry (chivalry) is not dead, we just don’t know the meaning of it,” and “A beehoove (beehive) hairstyle.”
*hov* → *hoove*: As in, hoover (hover), hoovel (hovel), hoovering (hovering), hoovercraft (hovercraft), shoovel and pushoover.
Bye son → Bison: As in “Bison! Your mum will pick you up tonight.”
Half → Calf: As in “I’m still calf asleep” and “I’ve got calf a mind to …” and “Calf measures”
Coff* → Calf*: As in, “Artisan calffee (coffee),” and “Added to the calffers (coffers),” and “Company calf-founders,” and “Back from the calffin (coffin).”
Caf* → Calf*: As in, calfe (cafe), calfeteria (cafeteria), calffeine (caffeine), decalf (decaf), scalffold (scaffold).
*cuff* → *calf*: As in, calflink (cufflink), calfed (cuffed), scalffle (scuffle), fisticalfs (fisticuffs), handcalfs (handcuffs).
Halves → Calves: As in, “Go calves,” and “Don’t do things by calves.”
Have her → Heifer: As in “Heifer parents found out yet?”
Forever → For heifer: As in “For heifer and heifer.”
Tail: Use these tail-related phrases: “Happy as a dog with two tails,” and “Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” and “Bright eyed and busy tailed,” and “Can’t make head or tail of it,” and “Chase your own tail,” and “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” Note: two shakes of a lamb’s tail is a phrase used to indicated that something is very fast.
Tale → Tail: As in, “Dead men tell no tails,” and “Fairytail ending,” and “Live to tell the tail,” and “Never tell tails out of school,” and “An old wives’ tail,” and “Tattle tail,” and “Tell tail sign.”
Talent → Tailent: As in, “___’s got Tailent,” and “A tailented painter,” and “Where would you say your tailents lie?”
Toilet → Tailet: As in, “Down the tailet,” and “In the tailet.”
Style → Stail: As in, hairstail, freestail, lifestail, and stailus (stylus)
Tile → Tail: As in, fertail (fertile), percerntail (percentile), projectail (projectile), reptail (reptile), and versatail (versatile).
Her before → Herbivore: As in “I’ve never met herbivore.”
Passed/Past your → Pasture: As in “It’s just pasture house on the left.” and “I pasture stall at the fair today but you weren’t there.” and “It’s pasture bedtime.”
Could → Cud: As in “Cud you stop it please?” and “As fast as her legs cud carry her” and “I cud do it in my sleep.”
Man you’re → Manure: As in “Manure making some awful puns today.”
Remnant → Ruminant: As in “I haven’t a ruminant of pride left after making all these terrible cow puns.” (A “ruminant” is a family of hoofed mammals comprising cows, sheep, deer, giraffe and their relatives)
Prominent → Pruminant: As in “She’s a pruminant member of our group.”
Permanent → Pruminant: As in “I’ve accidentally used pruminant marker on the whiteboard.”
Walk → Hoof it: As in “We missed the bus and had to hoof it home.”
Go to sleep → Hit the hay: As in “It’s late. I better hit the hay.”

Cow-Related Words

Here are a few cow-related words to help you come up with your own cow puns:

moo, bovine, heifer, bison, manure, udder, ruminant, calf, calves, pasture, grass, oxen, bull, domesticated, buffalo, hoof, hooves, horns, herd, cloven hoof, herbivore, cow patty, hay, cud, manure

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