Vampire Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on vampire puns! 🧛🌃💉

Vampires are in our stories, games and movies, making up a large and controversial part of our cultural history. Originally a monster to be feared, they’ve now transitioned into a staple in teenage/young adult romances. Included in this entry are both puns to do with vampires in general, and vampiric pop culture references like Buffy and Twilight. Whether you enjoy their creepy, Gothic roots or are more into modern vampirism, we hope that you find the perfect vampire pun for your needs.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive and thorough as possible, this entry is for vampires in general – we do also have witch puns, Halloween puns, magic puns and will be coming up with other monster entries soon.

Vampire Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about vampires that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of vampire puns:

  • Fan* → Fang*: As in, “Fang-ciful,” and “Fang-tasy,” and “Fang-tastic,” and “Fang-cy,” and “Fang-girl.”
  • Thanks → Fangs: As in, “Accept with fangs,” and “Give fangs,” and “Fangs a bunch,” and “Fangs for nothing,” and “Fangs, but no fangs,” and “Fangsgiving,” and “Fangful,” and “Fangfully.”
  • Feng shui→ Fang shui: As in,  “Fang shui will not solve your problems.”
  • Bite: As in, “A bite to eat,” and “Ankle biter,” and “Another one bites the dust,” and “Bite back,” and “Bite me,” and “Bite off more than you can chew,” and “Bite someone’s head off,” and “Bite the bullet,” and “Don’t bite the hand that feeds you,” and “Love bite.”  Notes: an ankle biter is a child, to bite the bullet is to go into a painful yet unavoidable situation, and to bite the hand that feeds you is to show ingratitude to someone you depend on.
  • Byte → Bite: As in, “Megabite,” and “Gigabite.”
  • Decaffeinated → De-coffin-ated: As in, “I’ll have mine de-coffin-ated.”
  • Coughing → Coffin: As in, “I can’t stop coffin!”
  • Bright → Bite: As in, “Always look on the bight side of life,” and “All things bite and beautiful,” and “Bite and early,” and “A bite idea,” and “Bite young thing,” and “A bite future.”
  • *bit → *bite: As in, “Exhi-bite,” and “Rab-bite,” and “Ha-bite,” and “Or-bite,” and “Inha-bite.”
  • Suck: As in, “Suck it up,” and “Suck someone dry,” and “Suck up to,” and “Sucker for punishment,” and “Sucks to be you.” Notes: to suck it up is to accept an unwanted difficulty. A sucker for punishment is someone who enjoys pain or suffering. If someone says that it sucks to be you, then they acknowledge any ongoing suffering in your life while also being glad that it’s not happening to them.
  • F*ck → Suck: Make your swears kid-friendly and vampire relevant: “Cluster suck,” and “Down to suck,” and “Suck one’s brains out,” and “Suck my life.”
  • Sick → Suck: As in, “Enough to make you suck,” and “In suckness and in health,” and “Morning suckness,” and “On the suck list,” and “Suck to the stomach.”
  • Suc* → Suck*: As in, “Suck-cinct,” and “Suck-cess,” and “Suck-ceed,” and “Suck-cumb,” and “Suck-cession.” Notes: to be succinct is to be brief. To succumb is to accept defeat. A succession is a chain of events.
  • Soc*→ Suck*: As in, “Suck-cer (soccer),” and “Suck-et (socket).”
  • Neck: As in, “At breakneck speed,” and “Break your neck,” and “Breathing down your neck,” and “Neck and neck,” and “A pain in the neck,” and “Stick your neck out,” and “Neck of the woods,” and “Up to your neck in (something).” Note: to stick your neck out is to take a risk. The neck of the woods is where someone lives.
  • Next → Necks: As in, “Better luck necks time,” and “Boy necks door,” and “The necks generation,” and “Necks to nothing,” and “Take it to the necks level,” and “The necks best thing,” and “You’re necks!” and “Necks level.” Note: next to nothing means almost nothing.
  • *nic*/*nec* → *neck*: As in, “Neck-cessary,” and “Neck-cessity,” and “Necktar,” and “Cli-neck,” and “Aneck-dote,” and “Botaneck,” and “Organeck,” and “Neckotine,” and “Harmoneck,” and “Mechaneck,” and “Commu-neck-ate,” and “Conneckt,” and “Demoneck,” and “Electro-neck.”
  • Knick* → Neck*: As in, “Neck knacks,” and “Where are your neckers?” and “I’m a fan of the necks.”
  • Blood: As in, “After your blood,” and “Bad blood,” and “Bay for blood,” and “Blood brother,” and “Blood and guts,” and “Blood in the water,” and “Blood lust,” and “Blood on your hands,” and “Blood, sweat and tears,” and “Bloody-minded,” and “Bloody typical,” and “Blue blood,” and “Burst a blood vessel,” and “Flesh and blood,” and “In cold blood,” and “Blood runs cold,” and “A rush of blood,” and “Out for blood,” and “Blood-letting.” Notes: To have bad blood with someone is to have a history of feuds. Blood in the water is an apparent weakness or vulnerability. Bloodletting is violence or aggression.
  • Van Gogh → Vein Gogh
  • Vanessa → Veinessa
  • Van* → Vein*: As in, “I love vein-illa,” and “Vein-ity Fair,” and “An unfair ad-vein-tage,” and “Vein-ishing act,” and “Street vein-dals,” and “A rusty weathervein,” and “Caravein park,” and “This tofu is di-vein,” and “A sweet, innocent bo-vein.”
  • Bleed: As in, “Bleed dry,” and “Bleeding heart,” and “Let it bleed.” Notes: a bleeding heart is a disparaging term for someone with sympathetic views.
  • Oven → Coven: As in, “Bun in the coven.” Note: a group of vampires is known as a coven. 
  • Vein: As in, “In the same vein.” Note: if something is in the same vein, then it’s on the same topic.
  • Vain → Vein: As in, “All in vein,” and “You’re so vein.” Note: if something was all in vain, then it was for nothing.
  • Can’t → Count: As in, “An offer you count refuse,” and “Count get enough,” and “Sorry, count help,” and “I count stand it,” and “Count judge a book by its cover,” and “Count say fairer than that,” and “Don’t make promises you count keep.”
  • Count: “Count” is a title traditionally used for vampires – like Count Dracula. Make some bad vampire puns with this in mind – as in, “Bean counter,” and “Count me in,” and “Count to ten,” and “Counting sheep,” and “Down for the count,” and “Head count,” and “It’s the thought that counts,” and “Keep count,” and “Lose count,” and “Stand up and be counted,” and “You can count on me,” and “That doesn’t count,” and “Body count.” Notes: A bean counter is an accountant.
  • *count*: Use words that have “count” in them to make vampire puns: “Country,” and “Counter,” and “Account,” and “Discount,” and “Encounter.”
  • Bat: As in, “Blind as a bat,” and “Bat out of hell,” and “Bat the idea around,” and “Right off the bat.” Notes: if you’re going like a bat out of hell, then you’re moving extremely quickly.
  • *bat*: Emphasise the “bat” in certain words, as in: “Battery,”, “Bath,”, “Batter,”, “Battle,” and “Batch,”, “Baton,”, “Combat,”, “Acrobat,” and “Numbat,”, “Wombat,” and “Batman.”
  • *bet* → *bat*: Replace the “bet” noise in words with “bat”, as in, “A bat-ter idea,” and “All bats are off,” and “Anything you can do, I can do bat-ter,” and “Appeal to your bat-ter judgement,” and “Bat you can’t do this,” and “Bat-ween a rock and a hard place,” and “Fall bat-ween the cracks,” and “Woe bat-ide you.” Notes: “Woe betide you” is a slightly archaic way of warning someone that misfortune will come upon them, causing them to regret their actions. Mostly used in a humorous context these days.
  • *bit* → *bat*: As in, “A bat missing,” and “A bat much,” and “Bats and bobs,” and “Feeling a bat put out,” and “Kick the ha-bat,” and “A bat-ter pill to swallow.”
  • Bottom → Bat-tam: As in, “Bet your bat-tam dollar,” and “Bat-tle up your feelings,” and “Get to the bat-tom of.” Note: to bet your bottom dollar is to be certain that something is going to happen.
  • Bad → Bat: As in, “Bat romance,” and “A bat apple,” and “Bat for your health,” and “Bat news travels fast,” and “Do you want the good news or the bat news?” and “From bat to worse,” and “Batminton,” and “Behaving batly,” and “Stop bat-gering me.”
  • Pat → Bat: As in, “I’ve got it down bat,” and “The pitter bat-ter of tiny feet,” and “A bat on the back.”
  • Bachelor → Bat-chelor: As in, “My bat-chelor pad.”
  • Coffin: As in, “The final nail in the coffin.” Note: the final nail in the coffin is the tipping point or event that cements the failure of something already going awry.
  • Grave: As in, “Silent as the grave,” and “Dig your own grave,” and “From the cradle to the grave,” and “Graveyard shift,” and “One foot in the grave,” and “Turning in their grave,” and “Grave times,” and “Looking grave,” and “Grave consequences.” Notes: To turn in one’s grave is a figure of speech that expresses an idea is so extreme or ludicrous that even those already deceased are reacting to it. From “the cradle to the grave” describes something that affects an entire lifetime, and “One foot in the grave” means close to death, or dying.
  • Brave → Grave: As in, “Grave new world,” and “Fortune favours the grave,” and “Put a grave face on,” and “Grave the storm.”
  • Did → Dead: As in, “Dead I do that?” and “Why dead the chicken cross the road?”
  • Undid → Undead: As in, “You undead all your good work.”
  • Dedicate → Deadicate: As in, “This one is deadicated to you,” and “A strong deadication to the job.”
  • Ted → Dead: As in, “Deaddy bear,” and “Get the party star-dead,” and “Sugarcoa-dead.”
  • Dad → Dead: As in, “Sugar dead-y.”
  • Dead → Undead: As in, “Undead as a doornail,” and “The undead of night,” and “Better off undead,” and “Undead easy,” and “An undead giveaway,” and “Knock ’em undead,” and “Drop undead gorgeous,” and “Loud enough to wake the undead,” and “Undead last.” Notes: Dead as a doornail = extremely dead; dead easy means extremely easy, so easy a dead person could do it; dead giveaway means extremely obvious; while to knock ’em dead means to do very well at something. You can also make zombie puns by keeping the word “dead” in these phrases rather than changing them to undead, as in “Knock ’em dead,” and “The dead of night,” and “Dead tired.”
  • Dead* → Undead*: As in, “Don’t miss the undeadline!” and “Bolt the undeadlock,” and “The seven undeadly sins,” and “An undeadbeat,” and “Undead set on an idea.” Notes: A deadbeat is an idle, irresponsible person and to be dead set is to be absolute in your resolution for something.
  • Course → Corpse: As in, “But of corpse,” and “Crash corpse,” and “In due corpse,” and “Let nature take its corpse,” and “Run its corpse,” and “Stay on corpse,” and “The corpse of true love never did run smooth.” Notes: A crash course is a short, intensive bout of training.
  • Stake: As in, “Burned at the stake,” and “Do you know what’s at stake?” and “Raise the stakes.”
  • *stake*: As in, “Stakeholder,” and “Stakeout,” and “My mistake,” and “You’ve won the sweepstakes,” and “Pain-stake-ingly.”
  • Sake → Stake: As in, “For Christs’ stake,” and “For goodness stake.”
  • Shake → Stake: As in, “A fair stake,” and In two stakes of a lamb’s tail,” and “Let’s stake hands on it,” and “More than you can stake a stick at,” and “Movers and stakers,” and “Stake a leg,” and “This is a stake down!” and “Staken, not stirred.”  Notes: a fair shake is a fair chance,  and “more than you can shake a stick at,” means more than you can count.
  • Take → Stake: As in, “Don’t stake it lying down,” and “Double stake,” and “Give and stake,” and “Got what it stakes?” and “It stakes one to know one,” and “It stakes two to tango,” and “Stake your breath away,” and “Let nature stake its course,” and “Stake five,” and “Stake it on the chin,” and “Stake it or leave it,” and “Stake no prisoners.” Note: To take no prisoners is to have such determination in an endeavour that the end goal is more important than the feelings of others.
  • Bible: Bibles are listed as one of the objects that are helpful in killing a vampire. Make some heroic vampire puns: “Bible basher,” and “Swear on a stack of bibles,” and “The bible belt.” Notes: “Bible basher” is a derogatory term for one who is overzealous in their religious teachings. The bible belt is an informal region that is known for social conservatism and Christian church attendance.
  • Water → Holy water: Holy water is listed as one of the objects capable of killing a vampire, so we’ve included it in this entry: “Blood in the holy water,” and “Blood is thicker than holy water,” and Bridge over troubled holy water,” and “Come hell or high holy water,” and “Dead in the holy water,” and “Get into hot holy water,” and “In deep holy water,” and “Just add holy water!” and “You can lead a vampire to holy water but you can’t make it drink.” Notes: “blood in the water” is an apparent weakness.  If something is dead in the water, then it is immovable; stalled.
  • Rose → Rosary: Rosaries are listed as a helpful item when it comes to killing vampires, so they’re included in this entry. As in, “A bed of rosaries,” and “Come up smelling of rosaries,” and “Every rosary has its thorn,” and “Rosary tinted glasses,” and “Stop and smell the rosaries.” Note: to come up smelling of roses is to come out of a difficult or bad situation in a good light. Rose-tinted glasses means an unrealistically optimistic perception.
  • Crypt: As in, “Why are you being so crypt-ic?”
  • Crept → Crypt: As in, “He crypt around quietly.”
  • *slay*: Slightly change words with the “slay” sound in them so that they visually have “slay” as well. As in, “Enslay-ve,” and “Legislay-te,” and “Mislay-ed,” and “Slay-te,” and “Tran-slay-te.”
  • Lamb → Lambia: A lamia is considered similar to a vampire as they’re both corpses who drink blood at nighttime, so we’ve included them here. As in, “Gentle as a lambia,” and “Be a lambia,” and “In like a lion, out like a lambia.”
  • *lame → *lamia: As in, “Add fuel to the flamias,” and “Like a moth to the flamia,” and “Blamia game.”
  • Shroud: Vampires were traditionally thought to be covered in shrouds, as that’s what dead bodies were wrapped in at the time. As in, “Shrouded in mystery.”
  • Cloud → Shroud: As in, “Every dark shroud has a silver lining,” and “Head in the shrouds,” and “Under a dark shroud.”

The following puns are based on specific vampires and figures that feature in popular culture:

  • Buffet → Buffy: As in, “All you can eat buffy,” and “A buffy of goodness.”
  • Light → Twilight: As in, “Come on baby, Twilight my fire,” and “Twilight robbery,”and “Let there be Twilight,” and “Twilight at the end of the tunnel,” and “Twilights, camera, action,” and “Make Twilight of,” and “A ray of Twilight,” and “Shed Twilight on the matter,” and “The Twilight of my life,” and “In Twilight of (something).” Notes: To make light of something is to treat it as unimportant. To shed light on the matter is to clarify something.
  • Culling → Cullen: As in, “What is animal cullen?” Note: to cull is to reduce the size of a collection or group.
  • Glad → Vlad: Vlad the Impaler was a prince whose reputation for cruelty served as inspiration for Dracula, so we’ve included him in our list. As in, “Aren’t you vlad to see me?” and “Get your vlad rags on,” and “I’ll be vlad to see the back of him.” Note: glad rags is a slightly archaic term for fancy clothing.
  • Stoke → Stoker: Bram Stoker was the writer of Dracula, and so deserves a mention in this entry. As in, “I’m stoker-ed to see you!” and “Stoker the fire.”

Vampire-Related Words

To help you come up with your own vampire puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: vampire, fangs, bite, suck, neck, blood, bloody, bloodsucker, coven, vein, veins, count, bat, coffin, stake, garlic, bible, holy water, crucifix, rosary, casket, grave, crypt, undead, dead, corpse, slayer, transylvania, albania, romania, lamia, gothic, shroud, villain, night

Pop culture: dracula, buffy, twilight, edward, nosferatu, vlad the impaler, bram stoker

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the vampire-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments below! Are you looking for word play for text messages, Facebook, Twitter or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny vampire pun pictures? Or perhaps you just want more vampire puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’ve got any vampire puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia! 🙂✨

Advertisements