Tag: eyepatch

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on pirate puns! 🏴 ☠ ⛵ 🌊

Pirates today are known as mischievous, swashbuckling characters – cheeky, rule-breaking treasure hunters. But their historical roots are much darker than that, with murder, theft, torture and disease all a common part of a pirate’s lifestyle. We’ve tried to cover all of the different, varied aspects of piracy in this list, from their lingo to their weaponry to famous fictional pirates. So no matter what you’re a fan of or what you’re looking for – whether it be some puns for Talk Like A Pirate Day, or to add some seafaring capers to your Halloween celebrations, we hope that you find the perfect pirate pun.

While this list is as thorough as possible, it is specifically about pirates. If you’re interested in related articles, have a look at our ocean puns, beer puns, boat puns and shark puns.

Pirate Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about pirates that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of pirate puns:

• Pie → Pie-rate: As in, “Apple pie-rate,” and “Easy as pie-rate,” and “Sweet as pie-rate,” and “Eat humble pie-rate,” and “A piece of the pie-rate,” and “Sweetie pie-rate.” 
• Corporate → Cor-pirate: As in, “The cor-pirate ladder.” 
• Irate → P-irate: As in, “This show makes me so p-irate!” 
• Practical → Piratical: As in, “Piratical walking shoes,” and “A piratical character,” and “Bring some piratical hiking clothes.” Note: if someone is piratical, it means they commit acts of piracy.
• *pira* → *pirate*: As in, “Res-pirate-ory,” and “Ins-pirate-ional,” and “Res-pirate-ion,” and “As-pirate,” and “Ins-pirate-ion,” and “Cons-pirate-cy.” 
• Arr*: Emphasise words that have an “arr” sound in them to make some salty pirate puns: “We’ve arrr-ived,” and “A b-arrr-el of laughs,” and “C-arrry on,” and “No holds b-arrr-ed,” and “Arr-ogant,” and “Arrr-ay,” and “Arrrr-est,” and “Arrr-ange,” and “Biz-arrre.”
• Are → Arrr: As in, “All bets arrr off,” and “Arrr you deaf?” and “Here you arrr,” and “How arrr you?” and “My lips arrr sealed,” and “What arrr the odds?” and “My hands arrr tied,” and “Two heads arrr better than one.”
• *ore* → *arr*: As in, “Age befarr beauty,” and “Befarr it was cool,” and “Befarr your time,” and “Bite off marr than you can chew,” and “Marr money than god,” and “Marr than meets the eye.”
• *or* → *arrr*: As in, “Apples and arrranges,” and “This arrr that?”
• Air → Arrr: As in, “Breath of fresh arrr,” and “Clear the arrr,” and “Dancing on arrr,” and “Arrr guitar,” and “Melt into thin arrr,” and “Out of thin arrr,” and “Spring is in the arrr,” and “Arrrbnb.”
• R → Arrr: As in, “Arrr2D2,” and “ArrrnB.”
• Aye: As in, “Aye aye, sir,” and “The ayes have it.” Note: “the ayes have it” is a confirmation that majority of a group have voted in the affirmative. 
• Eye → Aye: As in, “A wandering aye,” and “All fun and games until someone loses and aye,” and “An aye for an aye,” and “Avert one’s ayes,” and “Beauty is in the aye of the beholder,” and “Bedroom ayes,” and “Before your very ayes,” and “Bright ayes,” and “Aye to aye,” and “A fresh pair of ayes,” and “In the twinkling of an aye,” and “Ayes bigger than your stomach,” and “All ayes.” Note: a wandering eye is when someone is attracted to people other than their current romantic, monogamous partner. 
• I → Aye: As in, “What can aye say?” and “Aye can help,” and “Aye think so.” 
• Buy → B-aye: As in, “B-aye now, pay later,” and “B-aye and sell,” and “B-aye into,” and “B-aye some time,” and “Money can’t b-aye you love,” and “The best that money can b-aye,” and “Would you b-aye a used car from this man?”
• By → B-aye: As in, “B-aye a landslide,” and “B-aye all accounts,” and “B-aye any means,” and “B-aye any stretch of the imagination,” and “B-aye hook or b-aye crook,” and “B-aye my own hand,” and “Cheaper b-aye the dozen,” and “Do b-aye halves,” and “Fall b-aye the wayside,” and “Lead b-aye the nose.” To do something by halves is to not put very much enthusiasm or energy into it. 
• Bye → B-aye: As in, “Kiss goodb-aye to,” and “Can never say goodb-aye.”
• I’ll → Aye’ll: As in, “Aye’ll say,” and “Well aye’ll be damned,” and “Ask me no questions, aye’ll tell you no lies,” and “Aye’ll be back,” and “You scratch my back and aye’ll scratch yours.”
• Eye* → Aye*: As in, “Ayeball,” and “Ayebrow,” and “Ayesore,” and “Ayelash,” and “Bulls-aye.” Note: an eyesore is an unpleasant sight.
• Ah* → Aye*: Words with an “ah” sound can be changed to “aye” – aye-balaone (abalone), aye-bbreviate (abbreviate), aye-bility (ability), aye-ble (able), aye-bnormal (abnormal), aye-bsolutely (absolutely), aye-ccommodation (accommodation), aye-dmire (admire), aye-mless (aimless), aye-lternative (alternative).
• Ale → Aye’l: As in, “No more cakes and aye’l?”
• Ahoy: As in, “Ahoy there,” and “Land ahoy.”
• Mate → Matey: As in, “Billy no mateys,” and “Matey’s rates,” and “Seeking a soul matey.” Note: Billy no mates is a mocking term for someone with no friends. 
• Might → Mate: As in, “Cheer up, it mate never happen,” and “Mate as well,” and “Pigs mate fly,” and “The pen is mate-ier than the sword,” and “Mate as well quit.” Note: “the pen is mightier than the sword” means that the media is more powerful than the military. 
• Meet → Mate: As in, “Fancy mate-ing you here!” and “Make ends mate,” and “Mate and greet,” and “Mate in the middle,” and “More than mates the eye,” and “Please to mate you,” and “Mate your match.”
• *mate*: Emphasise the “mate” in certain words – material, maternal, ultimate, intimate, consummate, legitimate, estimate, penultimate, decimate, approximate, climate, amateur, animate, automate, checkmate, classmate, cremate, playmate, primate, roommate, stalemate, teammate. Notes: consummate means perfect, or complete in every way. Penultimate means second last. To decimate something is to destroy or devastate it. 
• *mat*: We can change words that have the “mate” sound to visually include it as well: Mate-riarch (matriarch), mate-rix (matrix), mate-ron (matron) and tomate-o (tomato). Notes: a matriarch is a woman who acts as the head of a group. A matrix is a set of conditions or boundaries in which a thing develops. 
• I’ve asked → Avast: As in, “Avast her to marry me.”
• My heart → Me hearty: As in, “A man after me own hearty,” and “Absence makes me hearty grow fonder,” and “Break me hearty,” and “Cross me hearty and hope to die,” and “Don’t go breaking me hearty,” and “Home is where me hearty is,” and “In me hearty of hearts,” and “Set me hearty on.” Notes: To speak of your heart of hearts is to reveal your innermost thoughts. 
• There → Thar: As in, “Ahoy thar!” and “Are we thar yet?” and “As if thar were no tomorrow,” and “Be thar in spirit,” and “Be thar or be square,” and “Been thar, done that,” and “Don’t go thar,” and “Hang in thar,” and “Here and thar,” and “Here thar be beasts,” and “Here, thar, and everywhere,” and “Hold it right thar!” and “Let thar be light,” and “The truth is out thar,” and “Thar’s no place like home,” and “Thar’s no time like the present.”
• Their → Thar: As in, “Children and thar toys,” and “Swept of thar feet,” and “Everybody and thar brother,” and “Forgive your enemies – but don’t forget thar names,” and “They learned thar lesson.”
• They’re → Thar: As in, “Thar blowing in the wind,” and “Thar not okay.”
• *yo → *yo ho ho: As in, “Tokyo-ho ho,” and “Embryo-ho ho,” and “Mayo-ho ho,” and “Yo yo-ho ho.”
• Rum: As in, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of rum,” and “Where’s the rum?” 
• *rum*: Emphasise the “rum” sound in certain words: “Fo-rum,”, “Inst-rum-ent,”, “St-rum,” and “Rum-ble,”, “Rum-inate,”, “Rum-p,”, “Rum-mage,”, “Spect-rum,”, “D-rum,”, “Deco-rum,”, “Tant-rum,”, “Sc-rum,”, “Se-rum,”, “Conund-rum.” 
• Drum and bass → Rum and bass (Note: drum and bass is a music genre)
• Boot → Booty: As in, “Tough as old bootys,” and “Bet your bootys,” and “Booty camp,” and “Give someone the booty,” and “Big bootys to fill,” and “My heart sank into my bootys,” and “I got the booty.” 
• Booty: As in, “Shake your booty.” 
• Beauty → Booty: As in, “Booty sleep,” and “Make booty-ful music,” and “Booty is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Booty is only skin-deep.” 
• *boo → *booty: As in, “Tabooty,” and “Bambooty,” and “Peekabooty.” 
• Treasure: As in, “Hidden treasure,” and “One man’s trash is another man’s treasure,” and “Treasure chest,”, “Treasure trove,” and “Buried treasure.” 
• Land → Landlubber: As in, “The landlubber of the free,” and “The landlubber that time forgot,” and “The law of the landlubber,” and “The length and breadth of the landlubber,” and “This landlubber is your landlubber,” and “Far into the bowels of the landlubber,” and “See how the landlubber lies.” Notes: the land that time forgot is a fantasy film. The law of the land refers to all laws within a country or region. To see how the land lies is to determine as many facts as you can about a situation before making a decision or action. 
• Encourage → Anchorage: As in “Stop anchoraging him!”.
• Pieces → Pieces of eight: As in, “Dash to pieces of eight,” and “Bits and pieces of eight.” Notes: pieces of eight were large silver coins and is a famous pirate treasure due to its value. 
• Double → Doubloon: As in, “Doubloon back,” and “Doubloon booked,” and “Doubloon over,” and “A doubloon-edged sword,” and “A doubloon date,” and “A doubloon whammy.” Note: a double-edged sword is something that could provide both benefits and disadvantages. 
• Lot → Loot: As in, “A loot of fuss about nothing,” and “A loot on your plate,” and “Leaves a loot to be desired,” and “Not a loot.” 
• *loot*: Make some swashbuckling pirate puns by emphasising the “loot” sound in certain words: “Solootion,” and “Resolootion,” and “Revolootion,” and “Evolootion,” and “Abso-loot,” and “Convolooted,” and “Floot (flute),” and “Di-loot (dilute),” and “Plooto,” and “Pollootant,” and “Saloot (salute).”
• Late → Loot: As in, “Better loot than never,” and “Catch you loot-er,” and “Read any good books loot-ely?” and “It’s never too loot to learn,” and “A loot bloomer,” and “It’s loot in the day,” and “See you loot-er, alligator.” 
• Let → Loot: As in, “Loot it be,” and “Loot it bleed,” and “Friends don’t loot friends drive drunk,” and “I won’t loot you down,” and “Loot nature take its course,” and “Loot off steam,” and “Loot your conscience be your guide,” and “Loot your hair down,” and “I never want to loot you go.” 
• *let → *loot: As in, “A shrinking vio-loot,” and “Run the gaunt-loot,” and “A magic bul-loot,” and “Ske-loot-ons in the closet,” and “Bite the bul-loot.” 
• Bound → Bounty: As in, “By leaps and bounties,” and “Homeward bounty,” and “On the rebounty,” and “Out of bounty.” 
• Chest: As in, “Get it off your chest,” and “Hold your cards close to your chest,” and “That old chestnut,” and “Treasure chest.”
• Chased → Chest: As in, “I chest after him.”
• Grog: As in, “Where’s the grog?” and “I’m feeling groggy.” Note: Grog is a name for an alcoholic drink made of rum and water. 
• God → Grog: As in, “An act of grog,” and “All things are possible with grog,” and “A child of grog,” and “For the love of grog,” and “Grog fearing,” and “A man of grog.” 
• Hook: As in, “By  hook or by crook,” and “Get hooked on,” and “Hook, line and sinker,” and “Hook up with,” and “I’m hooked,” and “Let off the hook.” Notes: “By hook or by crook” means by any means necessary. To fall for something hook, line and sinker means you’ve accepted an idea or explanation entirely without critically examining what you’ve been told.
• Peg → Pegleg: As in, “Square pegleg in a round hole,” and “Take down a pegleg or two.” Note: a square peg in a round hole describes something that doesn’t fit into its environment – the odd one out.  
• Leg → Pegleg: As in, “Fast as his peglegs could carry him,” and “Break a pegleg,” and “Cost an arm and a pegleg,” and “Peglegs like tree trunks,” and “On his last peglegs,” and “Shake a pegleg,” and “Tail between your peglegs,” and “Without a pegleg to stand on,” and “You’re pulling my pegleg,” and “Stretch my peglegs.” Notes: if you’re on your last legs, then you’re near to exhaustion, death or giving up. To shake a leg is to hurry or begin something. If you don’t have a leg to stand on, you’re in a very rocky and disadvantageous position. 
• Leg* → Pegleg*:  As in, “Peg-legacy,” and “What a peg-legend,” and “A peg-legitimate business,” and “Peg-legal,” and “Peg-legible,” and “Peg-legislation.”
• Eyepatch → Aye-patch 
• Eye → Eyepatch: As in, “All fun and games until somebody loses and eyepatch,” and “Avert one’s eyepatch,” and “Better than a poke in the eyepatch with a sharp stick,” and “More than meets the eyepatch,” and “Not a dry eyepatch in the house,” and “Turn a blind eyepatch,” and “Catch someone’s eyepatch.”
• Crew: As in, “Motley crew,” and “Skeleton crew.” Notes: a skeleton crew is the minimum number of workers needed to operate an undertaking. A motley crew is a band of seemingly mismatched individuals of different backgrounds, personalities and appearances. 
• Roger → Jolly roger: As in, “Jolly roger that.” Note: Jolly roger is the traditional English name for pirate flags.   
• *crew: As in, “Screw it,” and “Unscrew,” and “Screwdriver,” and “Corkscrew.” 
• Chew → Crew: As in, “Bite off more than you can crew,” and “Crew it over.” Note: to chew something over is to consider something at length.
• *cru* → *crew*: Change words that have the “cru” sound in them to “crew” to make pirate puns: “Ac-crew,” and “Crew-cial,”, “Crew-cifix,”and “Crew-de,”, “Crew-l,” and “Crew-lty,”, “Crew-se,”, “Crew-sade,”, “Ex-crew-ciating,”, “Ins-crew-table,”, “Re-crew-t,”, “S-crew-pulous,”, “S-crew-ples,”, “S-crew-tinise,” and “S-crew-tiny.” Notes: to accrue is to slowly increase the amount you have of something over time. To be scrupulous is to be very honest.
• Gutless → Cutlass: As in, “The cutlass wonder.” Note: this is a derogotary term used to indicate if someone is lacking in bravery.
• Tank → Tankard: As in, “Built like a tankard,” and “Empty the tankard,” and “Think tankard.” Note: a think tank is a research group. 
• Wash → Swashbuckle: As in, “All swashbuckled up,” and “Lost in the swashbuckle.” 
• Buckle → Swashbuckle: As in, “Swashbuckle down,” and “Swashbuckle under the strain.” 
• Ship: As in, “Abandon ship,” and “Loose lips sink ships,” and “Run a tight ship,” and “Shape up or ship out,” and “Ships that pass in the night,” and “That ship has sailed,” and “The start of a beautiful friendship,” and “Worship the ground someone walks on,” and “A stormy relationship.” Notes: Loose lips sink ships is a warning against gossip or unguarded talk. Ships in the night is a descriptor for strangers who meet for a short and intense moment and never meet again. 
• Shop → Ship: As in, “All over the ship,” and “Shipping cart.”
• Shape → Ship: As in, “All ships and sizes,” and “Get into ship,” and “The ship of things to come.” 
• *ship: As in, “Relationship,”, “Worship,”, “Fellowship,”, “Leadership,”, “Scholarship,”, Friendship,” and “Hardship.” 
• *sip* → *ship*: If a word contains “sip” it can usually be replaced with “ship”. For example: gosship (gossip), dishipate (dissipate), shipping (sipping), inshipid (insipid). See the boat puns entry for more.
• *sib* → *ship*: If a word contains “sib” it can usually be replaced with “ship” to create a terrible pun. For example: posshiply (possibly), accesshipility (accessibility), incomprehenshiple, feashipble, irresponshipble, invishipble, ostenshipbly, revershipble, vishipble. An example sentence might be: “I am responshiple for my puns.”  See the boat puns entry for more.
• Dec* → Deck*: As in, “Deck-line,” and “Deckree,”, “Deckadent,”, “Deckay,” and “Deckorum,”, “Deckade,” and “Decklaration,” and “Decksterity (dexterity).”
• Deck: As in, “All hands on deck,” and “Deal from the bottom of the deck,” and “All decked out,” and “A stacked deck,” and “Triple decker.” Notes: To deal from the bottom of the deck is to put someone at a disadvantage using dishonest methods. To stack the deck is to arrange a situation in an unfair way against someone or something.  
• Duck → Deck: As in, “Deck the question,” and “Decking and diving,” and “Like a deck to water,” and “Like water of a deck’s back,” and “Nice weather for decks.” 
• Shirk → Shark: As in “Stop sharking your responsibilities and get the job done.”
• Shiver: When sharks travel in groups, they’re called “shivers”. Example sentence: “Shark puns give me the shivers,” and “Shiver me timbers!”
• Wish → Fish: As in “I just fish we had more time!” and “If you rub the lamp you get three fishes“.
• Confiscate → Conch-fish-scate: As in “I’m going to have to conchfishcate your pun licence for that one.”
• *fici* → *fishi*: If a word contains “fici” it can often be replaced with “fishi”. Here are some examples: affishionado, artifishial, benefishial, coeffishient, defishiency, defishit, ineffishient, suffishient, ofishial, profishient, superfishial.
• Issue → Fishue: As in “That’s not the fishue here though.” and “I was fishued a sign for parking without a ticket”.
• Umbrage → Um-brig: As in, “She took um-brig at his oblivious comments.” Notes: umbrage is offence or annoyance. 
• Bring → Brig: As in, ‘Brig it on,” and “Brig it up,” and “You brig out the best in me,” and “Brig tears to your eyes,” and “Brig the house down,” and “Brig to a head,” and “Brig to the boil,” and “Brig to the table,” and “Brig people closer together,” and “Brig-ging up the rear.” To bring something to a head is to intensify a situation to the point that action must be taken. 
• Bridge → Brig: As in, “Brig the gap,” and “Water under the brig,” and “We’ll cross that brig when we get to it.” Note: water under the bridge refers to past problems that are no longer stressful or troublesome. We’ll cross that bridge when we get to it means to not worry or stress about a possible situation until it actually happens. 
• But → Boat: As in “Last boat not least” and “Close, boat no cigar,” and “Everything boat the kitchen sink.”
• Saboteur → Saboateur : As in “Captain, I believe there’s a saboateur on our ship.”
• Boat: As in, “Don’t rock the boat,” and “In the same boat,” and “Missed the boat,” and “Whatever floats your boat,” and “We’re gonna need a bigger boat.” Notes: to rock the boat is to say something that will upset the people around you. If you need a bigger boat, then you’ve underestimated the situation you’re in. 
• Butt → Boat: As in, “Kick boat,” and “Kiss my boat,” and “Pain in the boat,” and “My boat is on the line,” and “Boat-terflies in my stomach.” 
• Bowtie → Boat-tie: As in, “My boat-tie is too tight.” 
• Beaut* → Boat*: As in, “Boat-iful people,” and “Boat-y mark,” and “I need my boat-y sleep,” and “Make boat-iful music together,” and “Boat-y is in the eye of the beholder,” and “Boat-y is only skin-deep.”
• About/Abode → Aboat: As in “What aboat the captain?” and “Welcome to my aboat!”
• What about → Water boat: As in “Water boat we have tofu curry for dinner tonight?” and “Water boat Daisy? Does she want to come to the beach too?”
• Captain: As in, “Captain Hook,” and “Only the best for the captain’s table,” and “The captain’s pick.” 
• Sel* → Sail*: If a word starts with “sel” a boat pun can often be made by replacing it with “sail”: sailection (selection), sailect (select), sailf (self), sailling (selling), sail (sell), saildom (seldom), sailfish (selfish), sailfless (selfless), sailective (selective).
• Assail: As in “We were assailed by pirates on our way here.” and “This ship is unassailable.”
• Sale → Sail: As in “There’s a big sail down at the boat store.”
• *sale* → *sail*: Words containing “sale” can be turned into sailing puns: presail, resail, sailsclerk, sailsperson, wholesail.
• Sell → Sail: As in, “Buy and sail,” and “Past its sail-by date,” and “Sail your soul to the devil,” and “Sailing like hot cakes.”
• Sail*: As in, “Hello, sailor,” and “Plain sailing,” and “Sail away,” and “Smooth sailing,” and “Take the wind from my sails,” and “That ship has sailed.” Notes: to take the wind from someone’s sails is to discourage or cause them to lose hope and momentum. If that ship has sailed, then an opportunity has been missed and cannot be returned to. 
• Exhale → Ex-sail: As in, “Inhale, ex-sail.”
• *sil*→ *sail*: Words with a “sil” sound can be changed to “sail”: “Imbesail (imbecile),” and “Reconsail (reconcile),” and “Sailence (silence).”
• Reckon → Wrecken: As in “Do you wrecken we’ll make it through the storm?” and “I am a force to be wreckened with.”
• *rec* → *wreck*: Use words that have a “rec” sound to make nautical pirate puns: “Di-wrecked (direct),” and “Di-wreck-tion (direction),”, “E-wrecked (erect),”, “Wreck-ognise (recognise),”, “Pre-wreck-quisite (prerequisite),”, “Wreckless (reckless),”, “Wreckommend (recommend),”, “Wreckord (record),”, “Wrecktangle,” and “Wrecktify (rectify).”
• Wreck: The word “wreck” has a few meanings other than shipwreck, including slang ones (like “Ohhh rekt!” and “He’s an emotional wreck.”) and the regular, formal ones (Like “My wedding was wrecked by the storm”).
• Sea: As in, “All at sea,” and “Between the devil and the deep blue sea,” and “Deeper than the deep blue sea,” and “A sea change,” and “Other fish in the sea,” and “Sea legs.” Note: to have to choose between the devil and the deep blue sea is to be in a dilemma where both outcomes are undesirable. Sea legs is the skill of keeping one’s balance when on a boat or ship. 
• *Sea*: As in, “Backseat driver,” and “The best seat,” and “Break the seal,” and “My lips are sealed,” and “Strawberry season,” and “In search of,” and “Bursting at the seams,” and “Buckle your seatbelt,” and “I’m feeling nausea,” and “Guard against disease,” and “Do your research.”
• See → Sea: As in, “As far as the eye can sea,” and “Be the change you wish to sea in the world,” and “Can’t sea beyond the end of your nose,” and “Can’t sea the wood for the trees,” and “Come and sea me,” and “Sea no evil,” and “I call ’em as I sea ’em,” and “Long time no sea,” and “Monkey sea, monkey do,” and “I’m not sea-ing anyone,” and “Nowhere to be sea-n,” and “Sea eye to eye (or sea aye to aye might be more appropriate),” and “Sea the bigger picture,” and “Sea what the future has in store,” and “Sea-ing is believing,” and “I’ve sea-n better days,” and “Plant a sea-d.” Notes: If you can’t see the wood for the trees, then you’re unable to see the bigger picture because you’re too focused on the smaller details of the situation. 
• She → Sea: As in, “By George, I think sea’s got it!” and “Every little thing sea does is magic,” and “I’ll have what sea’s having,” and “Steady as sea goes,” and “Thar sea blows.”
• *see/cy* → *sea*: If a word has the “see” sound in it, we can use it to make nautical (naughty) pirate puns: “Absorben-sea (absorbency),”, “Accura-sea (accuracy),”, “Accountan-sea (accountancy),”, “Adequa-sea (adequacy),”, “Advoca-sea (advocacy),”, “Agen-sea (agency),”, “Ant-sea (antsy),”, “Aristocra-sea (aristocracy),”, “Beseach (beseech),”, “Sea-ge (seige),”, “Sea-d (seed),”, “Boun-sea (bouncy),”, “Candida-sea (candidacy),”, “Sea-dar (cedar),”, “Sea-ling (ceiling),”, “Competen-sea (competency),”, “Conseal (conceal),”, “Conseat (conceit),”, “Conspira-sea (conspiracy),”, “Curren-sea (currency),” and “Diploma-sea (diplomacy).”
• Se* → Sea*: Some words that start with just “se” also have a “sea”-ish sound, and the ones that don’t can usually be made into terrible puns anyway: seacret, searious, seargeant, seacretion, seacure, seacurity, seacondary, seacretariat, seaconds, seacrete, searum, searenity, searvitude, seanile, seadation, seaclusion, seacretive, seaze, seaquential, sealection, seacretly, seaquences, seanior, seaniority, seagregate, seaping, seacession, seariousness, seaminars, seaveral, seaxual, seaparation, seantimental, seansational, seaquential, seacluded, seacularist, seathing, seaquin, seasame, seaclusion.
• Seizure → Seazure: As in “If I read one more ocean pun I’m going to have a seazure.”
• Scenic → Seanic: As in “Let’s take the seanic route.”
• Ocean: As in, “A life on the ocean waves,” and “A drop in the ocean,” and “The motion of the ocean.” Note: a drop in the ocean is a tiny amount compared to what is actually needed. 
• *o-shun* → *ocean*: We can make pirate puns using words that have the “o-shun” sound in them: “M-ocean (motion),”, “Em-ocean (emotion),”, “N-ocean (notion),”, “L-ocean (lotion),”, “Expl-ocean (explosion),”, “P-ocean (potion),”, “Comm-ocean (commotion),”, “Dem-ocean (demotion),”, “Dev-ocean (devotion),” and “Prom-ocean (promotion).” 
• *wobb* → *swab*: As in, “Throw a swab-bly,” and “The colly-swabbles.” Notes: A swab is another term for mops used in cleaning ship decks. Swabbing is another word for mopping, or cleaning ship decks, and a swabber is someone who performs this task.  
• Parrot: As in, “Sick as a parrot,” and “Parrot-fashion.” Notes: to do something in parrot-fashion means automatically or mechanically, without thought or real understanding. To be sick as a parrot is to be extremely ill or disappointed. 
• *part → *parrot: As in, “A fool and his money are soon parroted,” and “It was good in some parrots,” and “I’ve been sad since the day we parroted,” and “If you’re not a parrot of the solution, you’re parrot of the problem,” and “Drift a-parrot,” and “Fall a-parrot,” and “No-one in parrot-icular,” and “House-warming parrot-y,” and “Get the parrot-y started,” and “Life of the parrot-y,” and “Parrot-ing of the ways,” and “Worlds a-parrot,” and “What parrot of ‘no’ don’t you understand?” 
• Prepared → Pre-parrot: As in, “Chance favours the pre-parrot mind,” and “Here’s one I pre-parrot earlier,” and “Be pre-parrot.” 
• Paradise→ Parrot-ise: As in, “A taste of parrot-ise,” and “Fool’s parrot-ise,” and “Trouble in parrot-ise.”
• Carrot → Parrot: As in, “Parrot and stick.” Note: the carrot and stick are metaphors for using a mixture of reward and punishment to teach certain behaviours. 
• *rot → *parrot: As in, “Parrot in hell,” and “Spoiled parrot-ten,” and “One parrot-ten apple can spoil the barrel,” and “Parrot-ten to the core.” Note: a rotten apple spoiling the barrel is a metaphor for one single bad influence (whether it be a person, belief, or personality trait) wrecking the entire thing or group. 
• Sea → Sea dog: As in, “Between the devil and the deep blue sea dog,” and “Sun, sea dog and sand.” Note: a sea dog is someone who is experienced at sea. 
• Gallery → Galley: As in, “A new art galley.” Note: Galleys have two meanings: a kitchen in a ship, or a type of ship.
• Alley → Galley: As in, “Galley cat,” and “Right up your galley.”
• Cannon: As in, “Cannon fodder,” and “Loose cannon.” Notes: Cannon fodder is a  derogatory term for soldiers who are regarded by government as expendable. A loose cannon is a person who is likely to cause unintentional damage.
• Cannibal → Cannonball: As in, “Corporate cannonballism.” Note: corporate cannibalism is where a company is seemingly “eating into” its own market of established products. 
• Tears → Privateers: As in, “Blood, sweat and privateers,” and “Bathed in privateers,” and “Crocodile privateers,” and “Fighting back the privateers,” and “It will all end in privateers,” and “No more privateers.” Notes: a privateer is someone who is privately hired to engage in maritime warfare.
• Wonder → Plunder: As in, “Gutless plunder,” and “It’s a plunder-ful life,” and “Nine days’ plunder,” and “A small plunder,” and “Where plunders never cease,” and “A one-hit plunder.” Note: to plunder is to loot and steal.
• *anker → *anchor: most words ending in “anker” can be anchor puns: banchor (banker), tanchor (tanker), flanchor (flanker), hanchor (flanker), spanchor (flanker), danchor (danker).
• Map: As in, “Mind map,” and “On the map,” and “All over the map.”
• Mop → Map: As in, “Map the floor with.” Note: to mop the floor with someone is to thoroughly defeat them. 
• Offer → Coffer: As in, “Open to coffers,” and “A coffer you can’t refuse.” Note: a coffer is a chest for treasure. 
• Cover → Coffer: As in, “Blow your coffer,” and “Coffer to coffer,” and “Extra coffer,” and “We’ve got you coffered,” and “A startling dis-coffer-y!” 
• Hold: As in, “Can’t hold a candle to,” and “Don’t hold your breath,” and “Got a hold on the wrong end of the stick,” and “Hold a grudge,” and “Hold a mirror up to society,” and “Hold a torch for,” and “Hold all the cards,” and “Hold at bay,” and “Hold back on,” and “Hold it right there!” and “No holds barred,” and “A sight to behold,” and “Lo and behold.” Notes: if you can’t hold a candle to something or someone, then you are very lowly in comparison to them. If there are no holds barred, that means that anything goes in a situation. Lo and behold is an exclamation demanding that one’s attention be directed to a certain thing. 
• Cock → Coxswain: As in, “Coxswain and bull story.” Note: a coxswain is someone in charge of the navigation and steering of a boat. 
• Board → Starboard: As in, “All above starboard,” and “Across the starboard.” Note: starboard refers to the right-side orientation on a boat. 
• Plank: As in, “Take a long walk off a short plank,” and “Walk the plank.” Note: walking the plank was a method of execution used by pirates. Victims were bound so they were unable to swim, then made to walk off a wooden plank into the ocean. 
• Blank → Plank: As in, “A plank slate,” and “Plank canvas,” and “A plank look,” and “Drawing a plank,” and “Point plank range,” and “I’m planking out,” and “Fill in the plank,” and “Wet plank-et.” Note: a wet blanket is someone that dampens enjoyment or excitement. 
• Thank → Plank: As in, “Accept with planks,” and “Give planks,” and “Plank god it’s Friday,” and “Plank you for the music,” and “Planks for nothing,” and “Plank your lucky stars,” and “Be plankful.”
• Sword: As in, “Cross swords with,” and “A double-edged sword,” and “Fall on your sword,” and “Put to the sword,” and “The pen is mightier than the sword.” Notes: a double-edged sword is a thing that provides both benefits and disadvantages. To put someone to the sword is to execute them. To say that the pen is mightier than the sword is to express that the the media is more powerful than the military.  
• Sort → Sword: As in, “Last re-sword,” and “I’m out of swords,” and “Sword the wheat from the chaff,” and “Sword yourself out,” and “Sword of.” Note: to sort the wheat from the chaff is to sort valuable things or people from those that aren’t needed. 
• Word → S-word: As in, “A picture paints a thousand s-words,” and “A s-word to the wise,” and “Actions speak louder than s-words,” and “As good as your s-word,” and “Don’t mince s-words,” and “Famous last s-words,” and “Get a s-word in edgeways,” and “The last s-word.” Note: to not mince your words is to not be gentle in your communications – to use blunt and direct language. 
• Barely → Parley: As in, “Parley there,” and “Parley noticeable.” Note: to parley is to have negotiations with an opposing side. 
• Sure → Shore: As in “Are you shore?” and “She shore is strong!” and “I shore will.”
• Shore: As in, “Ship to shore,” and “Shore up.” Note: to shore up is to support something by placing something under or against it. 
• Not → Knot: As in “Tell me this is knot happening.” and “Knot on my watch.”
• Not → Naut: As in “I’m naut going to keep arguing with you,” and “Last but naut least,” and “Fear naut!”
• Naughty → Nauty: As in “There’s that nauty sailor again”.
• Specific → Pacific: As in “You need to be more pacific.” and “Are you sure you have the pacifications for this?” and “Pacifically, there are two apples and three nectarines.”
• Passivist → Pascificist: As in “I’m a pascificst. Violence is never the answer.”
• *ways → *waves: Words than end in “ways” can be made into bad wave puns: alwaves (always), railwaves (railways), sidewaves, pathwaves, lengthwaves, doorwaves.
• Wave: “Wave goodbye” and “Mexican wave” and “Heat wave” and “Wave the white flag” and “Brain waves“.
• Cog*: As in, “Cogito ergo sum,” and “Just another cog in the machine.” Notes: cogito ergo sum is a philosophical expression meaning “I think, therefore I am.” A cog is a type of ship. 
• Clog → Cog: As in, “Clever cogs,” and “Cog up,” and “Pop your cogs.” Notes: Clever clogs is a disapproving way of saying that someone is clever, but in an irritating way. To pop your clogs is to die. 
• *cog*: As in, “Cognitive,” and “Cognition,” and “Incognito,” and “Recognise,” and “Recognition.” 
• Sooner → Schooner: As in “Schooner or later.” and “I’ll call her schoon“. A “schooner” is a sailing ship with two or more masts.
• Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
• Fathom: A “fathom” is a unit of length equal to 6 feet (~1.8m) and is most commonly used in reference to the depth of water. Example sentences: “I can’t fathom what she means.” and “It’s completely unfathomable!”
• Overboard: As in, “Man overboard!” and “This is going overboard.”
• Tack → Hardtack: As in, “As sharp as a hardtack.” Note: hardtack is a type of hard biscuit/bread that was commonly eaten on voyages due to it being cheap and long-lasting. 
• Kraken: As in, “Release the kraken!” Note: the kraken is a legendary sea monster that is popular in pirate stories and mythology. 
• Cracking → Kraken: As in, “Get kraken!” 
• Crack → Kraken: As in, “At the kraken of dawn,” and “Kraken a smile,” and “Have a kraken at it,” and “Snap, kraken, and pop.”
• Afraid → Afeared: As in, “Afeared of your own shadow,” and “Afeared so,” and “Be afeared, be very afeared,” and “Everything you always wanted to know but were afeared to ask,”  and “I’m not afeared of death.” Note: “afeared” is a common bit of pirate lingo. 
• Go out → Gout: As in, “Don’t gout of your way,” and “Gout on a limb,” and “Gout with a bang,” and “Gout like a light,” and “Good manners never gout of style,” and “I’d like to gout.” Notes: gout is a disease that commonly afflicted pirates due to their lifestyle. 
• About → Agout: As in, “Agout time,” and “It’s not all agout you,” and “Beat agout the bush,” and “No two ways agout it,” and “Nothing to write home agout,” and “Out and agout.”
• *goat* → *gout*: As in, “Scapegout,” and “Nice goutee.” Note: a scapegoat is a person who is blamed for the mistakes or wrongdoings of others. 
• Got → Gout: As in, “I think you’ve gout it,” and “Cat gout your tongue?” and “Give it all you’ve gout,” and “She’s gout a flair for,” and “I’ve gout a soft spot for,” and “Gout it down to a fine art,” and “Hasn’t gout two cents to rub together,” and “Have I gout news for you,” and “The one that gout away.” 
• Bulge → Bilge: As in, “Battle of the bilge.” Note: a bilge is the underwater part of a ship. Also used as a dismissive term for anything determined to be nonsense or rubbish.
• Spot → Black spot: As in, “A leopard cannot change its black spots,” and “Got a soft black spot for,” and “Hit the black spot,” and “In a tight black spot,” and “X marks the black spot.” Note: a black spot is a marker of death in the pirating world. 
• Dinghy → Dingy: A “dinghy” is a small boat and it sounds a bit like the word “dingy” which has multiple slang definitions including “gloomy and drab”.
• Slope → sloop: A “sloop” is a type of sailboat with one mast. Example sentence: “Hold on! This is a steep sloop.”
• *sk if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “sk” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “Before giving it to her, askiff she wants it.” and “We’ll be back by duskiff we can fix this motor.” Many more words fit this pattern: riskiff (risk if), deskiff (desk if), taskiff (task if), diskiff, maskiff, briskiff, flaskiff, kioskiff, baskiff, whiskif, muskiff.
• *s if → As skiff: If the word “if” follows a word that ends in “s” then we can create a play on “skiff” (a type of shallow, flat-bottomed boat). Example sentences: “As skiff!” and “You sound as skiff you’re a bit sick?” and “Ask us skiff you need anything!” There are obviously thousands of words ending in “s” so you can create your own puns using this formula with the help of a list like this.
• Y’all → Yawl: As in “How are yawl doing today?” A yawl is a type of sailboat.
• Cuddle → S-cuttle: As in, “S-cuttle buddy,” and “Want to s-cuttle?” Note: to scuttle is to sink a ship. 

The following puns are based on popular fictional pirates.

• Pearl → Black pearl: As in, “A string of black pearls,” and “Black pearls of wisdom.” Note: The Black Pearl is the ship in the first movie of the Pirates of the Carribean series. 
• Jack → Jack Sparrow: As in, “All work and no play makes Jack Sparrow a dull boy,” and “Every Jack Sparrow has his Jill.” Note: Jack Sparrow is a fictional pirate from the Pirates of the Caribbean series. 
• Hook → Captain Hook: As in, “By Captain Hook or by crook,” and “Captain Hook, line, and sinker,” and “I’m Captain Hooked.”
• One → One Piece:  As in, “All for One Piece and One Piece for all,” and “An army of One Piece,” and “And then there was One Piece,” and “Down it in One Piece.” Note: One Piece is a wildly popular manga about pirates. 
• Fluffy → F-luffy: As in, “A f-luffy bunny.” Note: Luffy is the Captain of the Straw Hat pirates and the main protagonist from One Piece. 
• Tsunami → Tsu-nami: As in, “Wreckage from the tsu-nami,” and “There’s a tsu-nami coming.” Note: Nami is the navigator for the Straw Hat pirates from One Piece. 
• Gold → Gol D. Roger: As in, “After the Gol D rush,” and “All that glitters is not Gol D,” and “As good as Gol.D Roger,” and “Fool’s Gol D,” and “Get a Gol D star,” and “A heart of Gol D,” and “A Gol D mine.” Note: Gol.D Roger is the legendary Pirate King in One Piece. 
• Straw → Straw Hat: As in, “A drowning man will clutch at a straw hat,” and “The last straw hat,” and “Draw the short straw hat.” 

Pirate-Related Words

To help you come up with your own pirate puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. We’ve split these words up into categories to make it easier to read and use. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

General: pirate, crew, rum, booty, treasure, pieces of eight, doubloon, loot, bounty, grog, tankard, boatswain, swashbuckle/swashbuckler, hook, pegleg, eyepatch, skull and crossbones, jolly roger, buccaneer, cutlass, mutiny, ship, deck, brig, flog, sea, blunderbuss, davy jones’ locker, jack, black spot, gout, hardtack, privateer, plunder, pillage, coffer, swab/swabber, scallywag, rapscallion, scuttle, sea dog, captain, ocean, boat, first mate, swab, hold, map, telescope, parrot, anchor, poop deck, bilge, coxswain, starboard, plank, sail, wreck, chest, scurvy, galley, cannon, marooned, hornswaggle, parley, shore, harbour, pier, nautical, clipper, cog, galleon, long boat, schooner, sloop, fathom, port, overboard, kraken

Lingo: arr, aye aye, ahoy, matey, avast ye, hearty, me hearties, shiver me timbers, landlubber, thar she blows, yo ho ho, cap’n, afeared, lily-livered, bilge rat

Fictional: black pearl, pirates of the carribean, jack sparrow, elizabeth swann, bluebeard, captain hook, flying dutchman,  one piece, luffy, nami, sanji, zoro, usopp, gol.d roger, straw hat pirates, tony chopper, nico robin, franky, brook, jimbei, captain feathersword

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