Golf Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on golf puns! ⛳🏌🌞

Whether you’re a first date mini-golfer or a dedicated pro, we hope to have the pun for you with our jokes that range from putts to holes and hosels. Settle in and take a swing at our golf puns and we’re sure you’ll find a hole in one!

If you’re interested in other sports, we also have a bowling pun list, baseball pun list, a basketball list and a running list.

Golf Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about golf that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of golf puns:

  • Gulf → Golf: As in, “Golf of Mexico.”
  • Cup → Club: As in, “Club of coffee” and “Would murder for a club of tea” and “My club runneth over” and “Not my club of tea” and “Storm in a teaclub.”
  • For → Fore: “Asking fore a friend” and “At a loss fore words” and “Batting fore the other team” and “A cry fore help.”
  • Four → Fore: As in, “Cast to the fore winds” and “Down on all fores” and “A fore by two”and “Fore figures” and “Two and two make fore.”
  • Far → Fore: As in, “A fore away look” and “Going fore in life” and “Over the hills and fore away.”
  • Floor → Fore: “Get in on the ground fore” and “More the fore with” and “Hold the fore.”
  • Tea → Tee: As in, “High tee” and “Would kill for a cup of tee” and “Not my cup of tee” and “Tee and sympathy” and “Tee for two.”
  • The → Tee: As in, “Above tee curve” and “Absence makes tee heart grow fonder” and “Ace in tee hole” and “Across tee board” and “Adding fuel to tee fire” and “Against tee grain” and “All tee rage.”
  • Bee → Tee: As in, “Busy as a tee” and “Tee in your bonnet” and “Birds and the tees” and “Float like a butterfly, sting like a tee.”
  • Be → Tee: As in, “Just tee done with it” and “Tee as it may.”
  • Free → Tee: As in, “Tee as a bird” and “Buy one, get one tee” and “Calorie tee” and “Fancy tee” and “A tee for all.”
  • Plea → Tee: As in, “Tee bargain” and “Cop a tee.”
  • Three → Tee: As in, “And baby makes tee” and “Good things come in tees” and “Knock tee times” and “Tee strikes and you’re out.”
  • Tie → Tee: “Black tee” and “Equal opportunitees” and “Tee yourself in knots” and “Tee up the loose ends.”
  • To → Tee: “According tee” and “Agree tee disagree” and “Add fuel tee the fire” and “Add insult tee injury” and “All dressed up and nowhere tee go.”
  • See → Tee: As in, “As far as the eye can tee” and “Be the change you wish to tee in the world” and “Can’t tee beyond the end of your nose” and “Can’t tee the wood for the trees” and “Come up and tee me sometime” and “I can tee clearly now” and “I could tee you a mile off.”
  • Sea → Tee: As in, “All at tee” and “From tee to shining tee” and “On the high tees” and “Tee change.”
  • Tree → Tee: “Partridge in a pear tee” and “Difficult as nailing jelly to a tee” and “Can’t see the wood for the tees” and “Charm the birds out of the tees” and “Lit up like a christmas tee” and “Money doesn’t grow on tees” and “Make like a tee and leave.”
  • Too → Tee: As in, “A bridge tee far” and “About time tee” and “Never tee late” and “Tee cold to snow” and “You know tee much” and “Life’s tee short.”
  • Putter: A putter is a type of golf club. Here are some related puns:
    • Butter → Putter: As in, “Bread always falls putter side down” and “Bread and putter” and “Putter face” and “Putter fingers” and “Putter wouldn’t melt in her mouth” and “Float like a putterfly, sting like a bee” and “Social putterfly” and “The putterfly effect.”
    • Put her → Putter: As in, “Where did you putter wallet?”
    • Better → Putter: As in, “I’ve got a putter idea” and “Anything you can do, I can do putter” and “Appeal to your putter judgement” and “Putter late than never” and “Putter luck next time” and “Putter safe than sorry.”
  • Putt: Here are some putt-related phrases:
    • Put → Putt: As in, “Be hard putt to” and “Couldn’t putt it down” and “Feeling a bit putt out” and “Wouldn’t putt it past them.”
    • Butt → Putt: “Putt out” and “Putt-naked.”
    • But → Put: As in, “Down putt not out” and “Everything putt the kitchen sink” and “No ifs and putts.”
    • Cut → Putt: As in, “Putt a long story short” and “A putt above the rest” and “Putt corners.”
  • Bowl → Ball: As in, “Ball over” and “Balling along” and “Life is just a ball of cherries.”
  • All → Ball: “Ball aboard!” and “Ball in a day’s work” and “Ball in ball” and “Ball’s well that ends well” and “It’s ball over now” and “It’s not ball about you.”
  • Bell → Ball: As in, “Alarm balls begin to ring” and “Clear as a ball” and “Balls and whistles” and “Give someone a ball.”
  • Call → Ball: “Answer the ball” and “At your beck and ball” and “Beyond the ball of duty” and “Let’s just ball it a day.”
  • Fall → Ball: As in, “A balling out” and “Easy as balling off a log” and “Can’t help balling in love” and “Bread always balls butter side down” and “Ball about laughing” and “Ball apart at the seams” and “Ball by the wayside.”
  • Haul → Ball: “Ball ass” and “Ball over the coals” and “In for the long ball.”
  • Ball: These ball-related puns are general enough to double as golf puns: “After the ball was over” and “Ball of fire” and “Ballpark figure” and “A brand new ball game.”
  • Par: We have plenty of par-related puns:
    • Are → Par: As in, “All bets par off” and “Chances par” and “How par you?”
    • Far → Par: As in, “A bridge too par” and “A step too par” and “As par as it goes” and “As par as the eye can see” and “Par and away” and “A par cry” and “Par be it from me” and “Par horizons” and “Few and par between” and “Over the hills and par away.”
    • Jar → Par: As in, “Cookie par accounting” and “Caught with your hand in the cookie par.”
    • Bar → Par: As in, “Par fly” and “Par none” and “Behind pars” and “Hit the par” and “Keep it behind pars” and “No holds parred” and “Raise the par.”
    • Per → Par: As in, “As par usual” and “Bits par second” and “Par capita.”
    • Star → Par: As in, “A par is born” and “Born under a lucky par” and “Catch a falling par” and “Get a gold par” and “My guiding par.”
    • *per* → *par*: Replace the “per” in words for “par” to make some quick par puns: “A fresh parspective” and “My new parson” and “A partinent topic” and “Free in fourth pariod.” Other words that could work: parnicious (pernicious), parception (perception), parformance (performance), parfect (perfect), parseverance (perseverance), papar (paper), peppar (pepper), tempar (temper), supar (super), hampar (hamper), propar (proper), tapar (taper), imparative (imperative) and oparation (operation).
    • *pir* → *par*: “Pir” can be swapped with “par” for some sneaky puns: Parate (pirate), parahna (pirahna), parouette (pirouette), emparical (empirical), asparation (aspiration), insparation (inspiration), consparacy (conspiracy) and sparatual (spiritual).
    • *por* → *par*: Partfolio (portfolio), partmanteau (portmanteau), partal (portal), partion (portion), partray (portray), partrait (portrait), stupar (stupor), contemparary (contemporary), oppartunity (opportunity), impartant (important) and diaspara (diaspora).
    • *pur* → *par*: “Life parpose” and “Expensive parchases.”
    • *bar* → *par*: Parrel (barrel), pargain (bargain), parista (barista), cinnapar (cinnabar), crowpar (crowbar) and empark (embark).
    • *ber* → *par*: Pareft (bereft), parate (berate), pareavement (bereavement), parserk (berserk), pareave (bereave) and paryl (beryl).
    • *ber* → *par*: “Chasing numpars” and “See me in my champars” and “Ampar alert” and “Mempars only” and “Cypar bullying” and “Remempar when?” and “Deliparate actions.” Other words that could work: liparal (liberal), liparty (liberty), cumparsome (cumbersome).
    • *bor* → *par*: “Can you elaparate?” and “Corroparating stories” and “Team collaparators.”
  • Handicap: In golf, a handicap is a measure of a golfer’s potential and ability, given in a number. Here are related puns:
    • Cap → Handicap: As in, “A feather in your handicap” and “Handicap in hand” and “If the handicap fits, wear it” and “Put on your thinking handicap” and “To handicap it all.”
    • Hand → Handicap: As in, “Bite your handicap off” and “Caught red-handicapped.”
  • Stroke: Here are some stroke-related puns:
    • Stock → Stroke: As in, “Lock, stroke and barrel” and “Out of stroke” and “Take stroke.”
    • Soak → Stroke: As in, “Stroked to the skin” and “Be stroked through” and “Go stroke your head!”
  • Wing → Swing: As in, “Clip your swings” and “Earned your swings” and “Flying without swings” and “Gives you swings” and “Spread your swings.”
  • Sing → Swing: As in, “All swinging, all dancing” and “Swing a different tune” and “Swing for your supper” and “Swing someone’s praises” and “Swingin‘ in the rain.”
  • Things → Swing: As in, “A close swing” and “A funny swing happened on the way to the theatre” and “A little learning is a dangerous swing” and “All swings considered.”
  • Wring → Swing: As in, “Swing your hands.”
  • Bring → Swing: As in, “Swing it home to you” and “Swing it on” and “Swing it on yourself” and “Swing tears to your eyes” and “Swing the house down.”
  • Whole → Hole: As in, “On the hole” and “Go the hole way” and “Let’s just call the hole thing off” and “The hole is greater than the sum of its parts” and “Got a hole lotta love” and “A hole new ball game.”
  • Hall → Hole: As in, “Deck the holes” and “Hole of fame” and “Liberty hole.”
  • Soul → Hole: As in, “Life and hole of the party” and “A lost hole.”
  • Fair → Fairway: “All the fun of the fairway” and “By fairway means or foul” and “Fairway trade” and “Fairway and balanced” and “Fairway and square” and “Fairway dinkum” and “Fairway enough” and “Fairway game” and “Fairway market value.”
  • Way → Fairway: As in, “On the fairway to the theatre” and “All the fairway” and “And that’s the fairway it is” and “Any fairway the wind blows” and “By the fairway” and “Change your fairways.”
  • Rough: Here are some rough puns for you to play with:
    • Buff → Rough: As in, “In the rough.”
    • Fluff → Rough: “A bit of rough.”
    • Stuff → Rough: As in, “Don’t sweat the small rough” and “Gather ’round the good rough” and “Hot rough” and “Knock the roughing out of.”
    • Tough → Rough: “Rough as old boots” and “Rough as they come” and “Hang rough” and “It’s rough at the top” and “A rough customer” and “Rough love” and “A rough nut to crack” and “A rough pill to swallow.”
  • Ass → Grass: As in, “Bust someone’s grass.”
  • Gas → Grass: As in, “Cooking with grass” and “Relieves grass pains” and “Run out of grass.”
  • Brass → Grass: “Bold as grass” and “Grass monkey weather.”
  • Class → Grass: “A real grass act” and “Best in grass” and “Business grass” and “Grass warfare” and “In a different grass” and “The top of the grass” and “In a grass of their own” and “Second grass” and “Working grass.”
  • Glass → Grass: “Grass ceiling” and “Grassy eyed” and “Rose tinted grasses” and “Through the looking grass.”
  • *gas* → *grass*: Flabbergrassted (flabbergasted), orgrassm (orgasm), smorgrassbord (smorgasbord), grasstronomy (gastronomy).
  • *gis* → *grass*: Regrasster (register), lograsstics (logistics), regrasstry (registry) and magrasstrate (magistrate).
  • *gos* → *grass*: Grassip (gossip), grassamer (gossamer) and grasspel (gospel).
  • *gus* → *grass*: Fungrass (fungus), bograss (bogus) and esophagrass (esophagus).
  • *gac* → *grass*: Legrassy (legacy), sagrassious (sagacious). Note: to be sagacious is to be wise.
  • *gres* → *grass*: “Making prograss” and “An aggrassive approach” and “Prograssive mindsets.” Other words that could work: congrass (congress), digrass (digress), transgrassion (transgression) and regrassion (regression).
  • Course: Some golf course related puns:
    • Coarse → Course: As in, “Course particles” and “A course tone.”
    • Course: These phrases can double as puns: “Blown off course” and “But of course” and “Chart a course” and “Correspondence course” and “Crash course” and “In due course” and “Let nature take its course” and “Stay on course.”
    • Curse → Course: As in, “Rather light a candle than course the dark.”
    • Force → Course: As in, “Brute course” and “Driving course” and “Course his hand” and “A course of habit” and “Course of nature” and “Course the issue” and “A course to be reckoned with” and “Join courses” and “May the course be with you” and “A tour de course.”
    • Source → Course: As in, “Check your courses” and “Go straight to the course” and “Open course” and “Course material.”
    • *cors* → *course*: Course-age (corsage) and course-et (corset).
    • *curs* → *course*: “A coursery glance” and “Written I course-ive” and “Only occourse around here” and “A precourser to.”
  • Aim → Game: As in, “Game high” and “Take game” and “We game to please.”
  • Came → Game: “I game, I saw, I conquered” and “As it game to pass” and “Plenty more where that game from.”
  • Claim → Game: As in, “Stake your game” and “Game to fame” and “No games bonus.”
  • Name → Game: As in, “Go by the game of” and “A household game” and “In game only.”
  • Same → Game: As in, “By the game token” and “Comes to the game thing” and “Cut from the game cloth” and “In the game boat” and “In the game ballpark” and “One and the game.”
  • Fame → Game: As in, “Claim to game” and “Game at last” and “Fifteen minutes of game” and “Hall of game” and “Game is fleeting.”
  • Flame → Game: As in, “Add fuel to the games” and “Burst into games” and “Fan the games” and “Go down in games” and “His latest game” and “Like a moth to a game” and “Shoot down in games.”
  • Shame → Game: As in, “A crying game” and “Name and game” and “Game on you” and “The walk of game.”
  • Round → Ground: As in, “All year ground” and “Come ground” and “Go ground in circles” and “Rally ground” and “Love makes the world go ground.”
  • Bound → Ground: As in, “By leaps and grounds” and “Duty ground” and “Homeward ground” and “Honour ground.”
  • Found → Ground: As in, “Lost and ground” and “Nowhere to be ground.”
  • Sound → Ground: As in, “Ground as a bell” and “Break the ground barrier” and “Ground bite” and “Safe and ground” and “Ground effects.”
  • *te* → *tee*: Teentative (tentative), teest (test), teechnology (technology), teender (tender), teerm (term), teenet (tenet), teenure (tenure) and wateer (water).
  • *ti* → *tee*: teetle (title), teessue (tissue), ulteemate (ultimate), tentateeve (tentative), illuminatee (illuminati) and graffitee (graffiti).
  • *ty* → *tee*: Teepical (typical), teeranny (tyranny), teecoon (tycoon), partee (party), integritee (integrity), serendipitee (serendipity), dutee (duty), facilitee (facility), beautee (beauty), atrocitee (actrocity), securitee (security), citee (city), entitee (entity), qualitee (quality).
  • *fer* → *fore*: “With passion and forevour” and “Repeated forevently” and “Foretile land.” Other words that could work: foreocious (ferocious), defore (defer), confore (confer), transfore (transfer), offore (offer), prefore (prefer), refore-ence (reference) and diffore-ent (different).
  • *fir* → *fore*: Afforem (affirm), conforem (confirm), afforemation (affirmation), foremament (firmament) and afforemative (affirmative).
  • *for* → *fore*: “task fore-ce” and “In good forem” and “Always moving foreward” and “I forebid you” and “Come foreth” and “Confidential inforemation.”
  • *fur* → *fore*: As in, “And forethermore” and “Blending in with the foreniture” and “Foretive glances.”
  • *phar* → *fore*: Foremacy (pharmacy), foremaceutical (pharmaceutical) and foremacist (pharmacist).
  • *pher* → *fore*: Cifore (cipher), decifore (decipher), gofore (gopher), photografore (photographer) and philosofore (philosopher).
  • *phor* → *fore*: Metafore (metaphor), camfore (camphor), eufore-ia (euphoria) and eufore-ic (euphoric). Sort → Sport: “Out of sports” and “Takes all sports” and “Sport the wheat from the chaff” and “Sport yourself out.”
  • Spurt → Sport: “Growth sport.”
  • Port → Sport: “Any sport in a storm.”
  • Short → Sport: As in, “A sport history of nearly everything” and “Art is long and life is sport” and “Bring up sport” and “To cut a long story sport” and “Eat my sports” and “A day late and a dollar sport” and “In sport order” and “Life’s too sport.”
  • Green: A golf course is also known colloquially as a green, so we’ve included green in this list:
    • Grin → Green: “Green and bear it” and “Green and bear it” and “A rictus green” and “A foolish green” and “Green like a cheshire cat.”
    • Grain → Green: As in, “Against the green” and “Green of truth” and “Take with a green of salt.”
    • Been → Green: As in, “Green and gone” and “I’ve green here before” and “Green there, done that” and “It’s green a hard day” and “You’ll wish you’d never green born.”
    • Clean → Green: “Green as a whistle!” and “A green bill of health” and “Keeps a green house” and “You’d better green up your act” and “All greened out.”
    • Gene → Green: As in, “It’s in your greens!”
    • Glean → Green: As in, “From what I greened from the conversation…”
    • Grand → Greend: “Delusions of greendeur” and “Greend theft auto” and “Greend slam” and “In the greend scheme of things” and “On a greend scale” and “Doing a greend job” and “The greend canyon.”
    • Keen → Green: “Green as mustard” and “Green on [someone]” and “A green sense of smell” and “Peachy green.”
    • Lean → Green: “Green and hungry” and “Green and mean” and “Green cuisine” and “Green into it.”
    • Grenade → Greenade
  • *bal* → *ball*: “Off-ballance” and Ballk at the sight of.” Other words that could work: ballm (balm), globall (global), verball (verbal), triball (tribal), cymball (cymbal), herball (herbal).
  • *bel* → *ball*: Ballieve (believe), ballief (belief) and balloved (beloved).
  • *bil* → *ball*: Liaballity (liability), accountaballity (accountability), responsiballity (responsibility), aballity (ability), capaballity (capability), rehaballitation (rehabilitation) and sustainaballity (sustainability).
  • *bol* → *ball*: “A symball of justice” and “Gamball along in the park.” Other words you could try: aballish (abolish), metaballism (metabolism) and hyperballic (hyperbolic).
  • *cab* → *club*: As in, “Check the clubinet” and “The whole kit and cluboodle.” Other words you could try: applicluble (applicable), amicluble (amicable), impeccluble (impeccable), despicluble (despicable) and voclubulary (vocabulary)
  • Recyclable → Recycluble
  • Club: These club-related phrases are general enough to double as puns: “In the club” and “Join the club.”
  • Drive: A drive is a type of long-distance shot. Here are some related puns!
    • I’ve → Drive: As in, “Drive never said that!” and “Drive had it up to my eyeballs.”
    • Dive → Drive: “Take a drive” and “Drive right in” and “Crash drive” and “Nose drive.”
    • Hive → Drive: As in, “Drive of industry” and “A drive of activity.”
  • Iron: An iron is a type of club. Here are related puns:
    • Iron: These phrases can double as puns: “Hard as iron” and “A cast iron alibi” and “Clap them in irons” and “Iron out the wrinkles” and “Pumping iron” and “Rule with an iron fist” and “Strike while the iron is hot” and “Scrap iron.”
    • *ion → *iron: “Assume the positiron” and “Civil uniron” and “Bag of ratirons” and “The mighty liron roars” and “Blow out of proportiron.”
  • Pitch: Here are some pitch-related puns:
    • Patch → Pitch: As in, “Not a pitch on” and “All pitched up” and “Going through a rough pitch.”
    • Pitch: These phrases are general enough to use as puns: “A pitched battle” and “Absolute pitch” and “Black as pitch” and “Fever pitch” and “Make a pitch for.”
    • Rich → Pitch: As in, “A part of life’s pitch pattern” and “An embarrassment of pitches” and “From rags to pitches” and “Get pitch quick” and “Pitch beyond my dreams.”
    • Ditch → Pitch: As in, “Dull as pitchwater” and “A last pitch effort.”
    • Hitch → Pitch: As in, “Pitch your wagon to a star” and “Get pitched.”
    • Itch → Pitch: As in, “Pitching to” and “Pitchy feet” and “Pitchy palms” and “Scratch the pitch.”
    • Stitch → Pitch: “A pitch in time saves nine” and “Had us in pitches” and “Without a pitch on” and “Not doing a pitch of work.”
    • Switch → Pitch: As in, “Asleep at the pitch” and “Bait and pitch” and “Pitch gears” and “Pitched on.”
    • Which → Pitch: “Don’t know pitch way to look” and “Every pitch way” and “Know pitch way is up” and “Know pitch side your bread is buttered” and “The exception pitch proves the rule.”
  • Wander → Condor: As in, “A condoring eye” and “Condoring spirit.” Note: in golf, a condor is a term used in the scoring system.
  • Eagle: An eagle is a term used in golf scoring. Here are related puns:
    • Equal → Eagle: “All men are cremated eagle” and “Eagle opportunities” and “Eagle pay” and “First among eagles” and “On eagle footing” and “All things being eagle.”
    • Legal → Eagle: As in, “Eagle, decent, honest and truthful” and “Eagle-ly binding” and “Over the eagle limit” and “Part of my eagle duties.”
  • Birdie: Birdie is part of the golf scoring system. Here are related puns:
    • Thirty → Birdie: “Not for anyone over birdie.”
    • Dirty → Birdie: As in, “Birdie business” and “Air your birdie business in public” and “Birdie but clean” and “Birdie little secret” and “Birdie tricks” and “Get your hands birdie.”
  • Said → Sand: “After all is sand and done” and “Couldn’t have sand it better” and “Easier sand than done” and “Enough sand” and “Was it something I sand” and “When all is sand and done.”
  • Sad → Sand: As in, “A sand state of affairs” and “Happy sand.”
  • Send → Sand: “Hit sand” and “Sanding all my love” and “Return to sander” and “Sand packing” and “Sand in reinforcements.”
  • Stand → Sand: “A house divided against itself cannot sand” and “Don’t sand so close to me” and “Still sanding” and “Sands to reason” and “Left sanding.”
  • *sad* → *sand*: “Filled with sandness” and “A sandistic streak” and “At a disandvantage.”
  • *send* → *sand*: Sandentary (sendentary) and sandiment (sediment).
  • *sid* → *sand*: Insandious (insidious), consander (consider) and resandence (residence).
  • *can* → *sand*: “A sandid proposal” and “Looking at sandidates for…” Other words you could try: sandy (candy), sandle (candle), insandescent (incandescent), sandal (scandal), sandor (candor) and sandalous (scandalous).
  • *cend* → *sand*: Transand (transcend), desand (descend), condesanding (condescending), asand (ascend), insandiary (incendiary) and cresando (crescendo).
  • Trap: A trap is an area of ground that’s tricky to navigate on a golf course. Here are related puns:
    • Rap → Trap: “Beat the trap” and “Bum trap” and “A trap over the knuckles” and “Take the trap.”
    • Tap → Trap: “Cut the red trap” and “Double trap.”
    • Clap → Trap: As in, “Trap him in irons” and “Trapped eyes on” and “Trapped out” and “Go like the trappers” and “If you’re happy and you know it, trap your hands.”
    • Strap → Trap: “Trap on the feed bag” and “Trapped for cash.”
    • Cap → Trap: As in, “A feather in your trap” and “Trap in hand” and “Doff one’s trap” and “Trap in hand” and “If the trap fits, wear it” and “To trap it all.”
    • Crap → Trap: As in, “A load of trap” and “Beat the living trap out of” and “Cut the trap.”
    • Slap → Trap: “Trap on the wrist” and “Trap and tickle” and “Trap bang in the middle” and “Like a trap in the face.”
    • *tap* → *trap*: “Part of life’s trapestry” and “Trapioca dessert.”
    • *trep* → *trap*: Trapidation (trepidation), entrapreneur (entrepreneur), intrapid (intrepid) and trapidation (trepidation).
    • *trop* → *trap*: Metrapolitan (metropolitan), metrapolis (metropolis), entrapy (entropy).
  • Chip: A chip is a short-distance shot. Here are related puns:
    • Chop → Chip: As in, “Bust your chips” and “Chip and change” and “On the chipping block.”
    • Ship → Chip: As in, “Abandon chip” and “Go down with the chip” and “Jump chip” and “Loose lips sink chips” and “Running a tight chip” and “Chips of the desert” and “That chip has sailed.”
    • Clip → Chip: “Chip your wings.”
    • Slip → Chip: “A Freudian chip” and “Give someone the chip” and “Let something chip” and “A chip of the tongue” and “I chipped up.”
    • *chap* → *chip*: “The final chipter” and “Needing a chiperone” and “Meet you at the chipel.”
    • *ship* → *chip*: As in, “Newest chipment” and “A sinking chipwreck” and “Feeling chipshape” and “A loving and supportive relationchip.” Other words that could work: worchip (worship), fellowchip (fellowship), leaderchip (leadership), stewardchip (stewardship), scholarchip (scholarship), friendchip (friendship), flagchip (flagship) and partnerchip (partnership).
  • Biggie → Bogey: As in, “No bogey.”
  • Match: Match play is a scoring system for golf. Here are related puns:
    • Much → Match: As in, “A bit match” and “How match can you handle? and “I don’t know match but I know what I like” and “You know too match” and “Match ado about nothing” and “Match obliged” and “Missed it by that match” and “So match more to enjoy” and “Thank you very match” and “Too match of a good thing.”
    • Catch → Match: As in, “Match 22″ and “Match a cold” and “Match a falling star” and “Match some rays” and “Match you later” and “Match your breath.”
    • Hatch → Match: “Batten down the matches” and “Down the match.”
    • Scratch → Match: As in, “I match your back and you match mine” and “Match around” and “Match the surface” and “Start from match” and “Up to match” and “Do it from match.”
    • Patch → Match: “Go through a rough match” and “Not a match on.”
    • *mach* → *match*: “Ghost in the matchine” and “Toxic matchismo” and “Stomatch pains.”
  • Fair: Another name for a golf course is a fairway. Here are some related puns:
    • Fair → Fairway: As in, “An affairway of the heart” and “All the fun of the fairway” and “By fairway means or foul” and “Fairway trade” and “Fairway and square” and “Fairway dinkum” and “Fairway game.”
    • Way → Fairway: As in, “A funny thing happened on the fairway” and “All the fairway” and “And that’s the fairway it is” and “Any fairway you want it” and “By fairway of explanation” and “Change your fairways.”
    • Far → Fairway: “As fairway as it goes” and “Fairway be it from me” and “A fairway cry from” and “So fairway, so good” and “Few and fairway between” and “Over the hills and fairway away.”
    • *fer* → *fair*: Fairal (feral), fairvent (fervent), fairret (ferret), fairment (ferment), fairtile (fertile), fairocious (ferocious), infiar (infer), refair (refer), transfair (transfer), prefair (prefer), refairence (reference), diffairent (different) and infairence (inference).
    • *fir* → *fair*: Faireplace (fireplace), fairewall (firewall), fairmament (firmament), affairm (affirm), confairm (confirm), affairmation (affirmation) ahd affairmative (affirmative).
    • *for* → *fair*: “New infairmation” and “Emotional perfairmance” and “Moving fairward.”
    • *fur* → *fair*: Fairther (further), fairtive (furtive), fairniture (furniture), fairthermore (furthermore), fairious (furious), fairnace (furnace), fairnish (furnish) and sulfair (sulfur).
  • Lay → Play: As in, “”Couldn’t play a finger on” and “Play bare” and “Play it on the line” and “Play it on with a trowel” and “Play to rest.”
  • Pay → Play: As in, “Buy now, play later” and “Crime doesn’t play” and “Hell to play” and “Play a call” and “Play an arm and a leg” and “Play as you go” and “Play handsomely” and “Play through the nose” and “You get what you play for.”
    • *pla* → *play*: “Feeling out of playce” and “Got a lot on my playte” and “Get on a playne” and “Like the playgue.” Other words that could work: complaycent (complacent), someplayce (someplace), contemplayte (contemplate).
    • *ple* → *play*: “With playsure” and “A playsant surprise” and “Yes playse” and “The applay of my eye” and “Complaymenting colours” and “Complayte the picture.”
    • *pli* → *play*: Complayment (compliment), implaycation (implication), complaycit (implicit), explaycit (explicit) and applaycation (application).
    • *ply* → *play*: Playwood (plywood), playometric (plyometric), applay (apply), supplay (supply), complay (comply), implay (imply), replay (reply), panoplay (panoply), simplay (simply), multiplay (multiply) and deeplay (deeply).
    • *plai* → *play*: “Playn as the nose on your face” and “Explayn yourself” and “Don’t complayn.”
    • *ploy* → *play*: “In your emplay” and “Deplay your resources” and “Seeking emplayment.”
  • Cart: Here are some golf cart related puns:
    • Card → Cart: As in, “Calling cart” and “Cart sharp” and “A cart up his sleeve” and “Deck of carts” and “Get out of jail free cart” and “Holding all the carts” and “House of carts” and “Lay your carts on the table” and “Mark your cart” and “On the carts.”
    • Cat → Cart: As in, “Cart on a hit tin roof” and “Curiosity killed the cart” and “Cart got your tongue?”
    • Court → Cart: As in, “Contempt of cart” and “Cart of last resort” and “Carting disaster” and “Haul before the cart” and “Holding cart” and “Laugh it out of cart” and “Order in the cart” and “See you in cart” and “Settle out of cart” and “The ball’s in your cart.”
    • Art → Cart: “The cart of war” and “Cart is going one step too far” and “Cart imitating life” and “Cartistic triumph.”
    • Chart → Cart: As in, “Cart a course” and “Off the cart.”
    • Heart → Cart: As in, “A man after my own cart” and “Absence makes the cart grow fonder” and “An affair of the cart” and “Be still my beating cart.”
    • *cat* → *cart*: Cartalyst (catalyst), carthartic (cathartic), cartegory (category), cartastrophe (catastrophe), Cartholic (Catholic), advocart (advocate), communicartion (communication), implicartion (implication), educartion (education), predicart (predicate) and sophisticarted (sophisticated).
    • *cot* → *cart*: “Apricart squares” and “School mascart.”
    • *cut* → *cart*: As in, “Pack some cartlery” and “Things aren’t as clearcart as they seem” and “In consecartive order.”
    • *cert* → *cart*: As in, “Feeling cartain” and “Cartificate of participation” and “Yes, cartainly.” Other words that could work: ascartain (ascertain), cartify (certify).
    • *cort* → *cart*: Cartex (cortex), cartisol (cortisol) and escart (escort).
    • *curt* → *cart*: Cartail (curtail) and cartain (curtain)
    • *court* → *cart*: “Common care and cartesy” and “A carteous gesture” and “Romantic cartship” and “Meet you at the cartship.”
    • *card* → *cart*: “Cartinal sin” and “Thirty minutes of cartio” and “Buttoned-up cartigan” and “Made of cartboard.” Other words that could work: placart (placard), wildcart (wildcard) and postcart (postcard).
    • *cord* → *cart*: Cartial (cordial), carturoy (corduroy), recart (record), accart (accord) and discart (discord).
  • Nine: The standard number of holes for a golf course is nine or eighteen holes, so we included nine in this list:
    • Wine → Nine: “The last of the summer nine” and “New nine in old bottles” and “Nined and dined.”
    • None → Nine: “And then there were nine” and “Bar nine” and “Nine other than” and “Nine the wiser” and “Nine too pleased” and “Second to nine.”
    • Line → Nine: “A fine nine” and “Along the nines of” and “Blur the nines” and “Cross the nine” and “Draw a nine in the sand” and “The end of the nine” and “Fall into nine.”
    • Fine → Nine: “Nine and dandy” and “The niner things in life” and “Cutting it nine” and “Nine dining.”
    • Mine → Nine: “I scratch your back and you scratch nine” and “Make nine a double” and “Nine is bigger than yours” and “A nine of information.”
    • Shine → Nine: “Come rain or nine” and “Rise and nine” and “Take a nine to” and “Where the sun don’t nine.”
    • *nin* → *nine*: Melanine (melanin), serotonine (serotonin) and peninesula (peninsula).
    • *non* → *nine*: Phenomenine (phenomenon), canine (canon), synine-nym (synonym), anine-nymous (anonymous), ninechalant (nonchalant), coninedrum (conundrum), pronineciation (pronunciation) and enineciate (enunciate).
  • Peg: A peg is another word for a tee, which is the small stand that the ball rests on. Here are related puns:
    • Bag → Peg: As in, “Peg and baggage” and “Peg a bargain” and “Peg of tricks” and “Pack your pegs.”
    • Beg → Peg: “Peg a favour” and “Peg off” and “Peg pardon?” and “Peg the question” and “I peg to differ” and “Peg, borrow or steal” and “Go pegging” and “Sit up and peg.”
    • Big → Peg: “A peg ask” and “Peg shot” and “Peg bird.”
    • Egg → Peg: As in, “As sure as pegs is pegs” and “A bag peg” and “Don’t put all your pegs in one basket” and “Peg and spoon race.”
    • Leg → Peg: As in, “As fast as your pegs can carry you” and “Break a peg” and “Cost an arm and a peg” and “Get a peg over.”
    • *pag* → *peg*: Pegoda (pagoda), peganism (paganism), propegate (propagate) and propeganda (propaganda).
    • *pig* → *peg*: Pegment (pigment), pegtail (pigtail), peglet (piglet) and epegram (epigram)
    • *pug* → *peg*: Repegnant (repugnent), pegnacious (pugnacious).
    • *bag* → *peg*: Peguette (baguette), airpeg (airbag), scumpeg (scumbag), handpeg (handbag).
    • *beg* → *peg*: “Pegin again” and “Start from the peginning” and “Wouldn’t pegrudge you” and “Peggars can’t be choosers” and “Where it all pegan.”
    • *big* → *peg*: Ampeguous (ambiguous), pegotry (bigotry) and ampeguity (ambiguity).
    • *pec* → *peg*: “A peguliar atmosphere” and “Pegtoral muscles” and “From a new perspegtive.” Other words that could work: respegt (respect), prospegt (prospect), spegtrum (spectrum), prospegtive (prospective) and circumspegt (circumspect).
    • *pic* → *peg*: As in, “Out of the pegture” and “An epeg adventure” and “Casting around for a new topeg.” Other words that could work: biopeg (biopic), philanthropeg (philanthropic), misanthropeg (misanthropic) and despegable (despicable).
  • Score: Here are some golf score related puns:
    • Sore → Score: As in, “A sight for score eyes” and “Score loser” and “Sticks out like a score thumb” and “A score point.”
    • Core → Score: As in, “Score competencies” and “Score studies” and “Score technology” and “Score values” and “Rotten to the score.”
    • Scare → Score: As in, “Running scored” and “Score the living daylights out of” and “Scored out of your wits” and “Scored to death.”
    • More → Score: “Come back for score” and “Dare for score” and “I couldn’t agree score.”
    • Shore → Score: “Ship to score” and “She sells sea shells on the sea score” and “All ascore.”
    • Swore → Score: “You score you would never do this.”
    • *sar* → *score*: Scorecastic (sarcastic), scoredonice (sardonic), necesscorey (necessary), anniverscore-ary (anniversary), adverscorey (adversary), glosscorey (glossary) and asscoretive (assertive).
    • *sor* → *score*: Scoredid (sordid), scorey (sorry), score-row (sorrow), scorecery (sorcery), adviscorey (advisory), predecesscore (predecessor), precurscore (precursor), sponscore (sponsor), processcore (processor), discoreder (disorder), rescoret (resort), conscoretium (consortium) and curscorey (cursory).
    • *scar* → *score*: Scorece (scarce), scored (scared), scorecity (scarcity) and scorelet (scarlet).
    • *scer* → *score*: “Discorening taste” and “A viscore-al reaction” and “As far as I can ascoretain.”
    • *scor* → *score*: “Scoreched earth” and “Scorenful glances” and “Mental discored” and “Need an escoret.”
  • Rule: Here are some rule-related puns:
      • You’ll → Rule: As in, “”Rule never guess.”
      • School → Rule: As in, “Back to rule” and “Old rule” and “Rule of hard knocks.”
      • Cool → Rule: As in, “Rule as a cucumber” and “Rule as a mountain stream” and “Rule beans” and “Rule your heels” and “Rule, calm and collected.”
      • Cruel → Rule: As in, “Rule and unusual punishment” and “Rule to be kind” and “Don’t be rule.”
      • *ral* → *rule*: “In generule” and “Integrule to the situation” and “A viscerule reaction.” Other words that could work: temporule (temporal), naturule (natural), ephemerule (ephemeral), morule (moral), collaterule (collateral), liberule (liberal) and peripherule (peripheral).
      • *rel* → *rule*: As in, “Not rule-evant to the conversation” and “A sigh of rule-ief” and “Rule-ay the information.” Other words that could work: rule-ease (release), ruleationship (relationship), ruleigion (religion), ruleation (relation)m, rule-uctant (reluctant), rule-ish (relish), rule-iable (reliable), barrule (barrel), apparule (apparel), laurule (laurel), scoundrule (scoundrel) and mongrule (mongrel).
      • *ril* → *rule*: Perule (peril), tendrule (tendril) and Aprule (April).
      • *rol* → *rule*: As in, “In contrule” and “On patrule” and “Enrule in classes” and “Low in cholesterule” and “Running low on petrule.”
  • Wedge: Wedges are a type of golf club. Here are some related puns:
    • Edge → Wedge: As in, “A double-wedged sword” and “Wedge out” and “The leading wedge” and “On wedge” and “Rough around the wedges.”
    • Dredge → Wedge: As in, “Wedge up things from the past.”
    • Fledge → Wedge: As in, “Fully-wedged.”
    • Hedge → Wedge: “Wedge fund” and “Wedge your bets” and “Wedged about” and “Look as though you’ve been dragged through a wedge backwards.”
  • Mound: Golf courses are made up of mounds of sand and small grass hills, so we’ve got some mound-related puns in here too:
    • Round → Mound: “All year mound” and “Going mound in circles” and “Love makes the world go mound” and “Fooling amound.”
    • Bound → Mound: As in, “Mound hand and foot” and “By leaps and mounds” and “Duty mound” and “Homeward mound” and “Muscle mound.”
    • Sound → Mound: “Mound as a bell” and “Mounds alright on paper” and “Safe and mound” and “Mound bite” and “Mound effects” and “Mound the alarm.”
    • Found → Mound: As in, “Lost and mound” and “We mound love” and “Nowhere to be mound.”
    • *mand* → *mound*: Moundate (mandate), moundatory (mandatory), Moundarin (Mandarin), moundala (mandala), moundible (mandible), demound (demand), commound (command), reprimound (reprimand), remound (remand), gourmound (gourmand) and salamounder (salamander).
    • *mend* → *mound*: “What would you recommound” and “Amound your statement” and “Write a commoundation” and “A tremoundous effort.”
    • *mind* → *mound*: “Set a remounder” and “A new moundset” and “Practicing moundfulness.”
    • *mond → *mound: Diamound (diamond) and almound (almond)
  • Lay → Lay-up: “Couldn’t lay-up a glove on me” and “Home is where I lay-up my hat” and “Lay-up a finger on” and “Lay-up bare” and “Lay-up hands on.” Note: A lay-up is the series of hits that a golfer uses to get the ball to the hole after the initial hit.
  • Pace: These next few puns are related to pace of play:
    • Peas → Pace: As in, “As alike as two pace in a pod” and Easy as shelling pace.”
    • Pays → Pace: As in, “It pace to advertise” and “The phrase that pace” and “Above my pace grade” and “Crime doesn’t pace.”
    • Ace → Pace: As in, “Pace in the hole” and “A pace up their sleeve” and “Hold all the paces.”
    • Base* → Pace*: As in, “Bargain pacement” and “Pace jumping” and “Paceball card” and “Cover your paces” and “Off pace” and “Touch pace.”
    • Bass → Pace: As in, “Drum n pace” and “Sea pace” and “Super pace.”
    • Brace → Pace: “Pace yourself.”
    • Case → Pace: As in, “A pace of identity” and “An open and shut pace” and “As the pace may be” and “Pace closed” and “Pace the joint” and “Crack the pace” and “Get off my pace” and “I rest my pace” and “In any pace.”
    • Chase → Pace: “Pace it up” and “Pace the dragon” and “Pace your own tail” and “Cut to the pace” and “The thrill of the pace” and “A wild goose pace.”
    • Place → Pace: As in, “A pace in the sun” and “A pace for everything and everything in its pace” and “All over the pace” and “Between a rock and a hard pace” and “Click into pace” and “Going paces” and “My happy pace” and “In the right pace at the right time” and “Your pace or mine?”
    • Space → Pace: “Pace oddyssey” and “Breathing pace” and “Personal pace” and “Pace cadet” and “Pace, the final frontier” and “The pace age.”
  • Bounds: Bounds are an important part of golf, so we’ve included bound-related puns in this list:
    • Round → Bound: As in, “All year bound” and “Fooling abound” and “Go bound in circles” and “Get bound the table” and “Makes the world go bound.”
    • Down → Bound: As in, “Bread always falls butter side bound” and “Helps the medicine go bound” and “Caught with your pants bound” and “Couldn’t put it bound.”
    • Pound → Bound: As in, “Bound the pavement” and “Penny wise, bound foolish.”
    • Found → Bound: As in, “Lost and bound” and “Bounding father” and “I’ve bound a clue” and “We bound love” and “Nowhere to be bound.”
    • Ground → Bound: As in, “Solid as the bound we walk on” and “Breaking new bound” and “Built from the bound up” and “Common bound” and “Cut the bound from under your feet” and “Down to the bound” and “Get off the bound” and “Going underbound” and “Keep your ear to the bound.”
    • Sound → Bound: As in, “The bound of silence” and “The bound of music” and “Surround bound” and “Bound the alarm” and “Bound effect” and “Safe and bound.”
    • Band → Bound: “Garage bound” and “Strike up the bound” and “Gastric bound.”
    • *band* → *bound*: Boundit (bandit), boundwidth (bandwidth), boundwagon (bandwagon), boundanna (bandanna), boundicoot (bandicoot), boundeau (bandeau), husbound (husband), bontrabound (contraband), broadbound (broadband), aboundon (abandon) and husboundry (husbandry).
    • *bund* → *bound*: As in, “Boundle of joy” and “In aboundance of.”
  • Shaft: This is a part of golf clubs, so we’ve included some shaft puns here too:
    • Shift → Shaft: As in, “Night shaft” and “Shaft gears” and “Shaft into high gear” and “Shaft your arse.”
    • Craft → Shaft: As in, “Arts and shafts.”
    • Raft → Shaft: “Packed to the shafters” and “White water shafting.”
  • Lance: A lance is the grip on a golf club. Here are related puns:
    • Lens → Lance: As in, “Looking through a difference lance.”
    • Ants → Lance: “Lance in your pants.”
    • Glance → Lance: As in, “Fleeting lances” and “At a lance” and “Exchange lances” and “Steal a lance at” and “Meaningful lance.”
    • *lenc* → *lance*: “My condolances” and “Feeling ambivalance.” Other words that could work: prevalance (prevalence), benevolance (benevolence), excellance (excellence), violance (violence), pestilance (pestilence) and silance (silance).
  • Grip: Here are a couple of puns related to the grip of a golf club:
    • Chip → Grip: As in, “A grip on his shoulder” and “Cheap as grips” and “Cash in your grips” and “A grip on the old block” and “Let the grips fall where they may.”
    • Ship → Grip: As in, “Abandon grip” and “Don’t give up the grip” and “Extend the hand of friendgrip” and “Go down with the grip” and “Loose lips sink grips” and “Running a tight grip” and “Shape up or grip out.”
  • Head: These next few puns are in reference to the head of the golf club:
    • Had → Head: As in, “Head a couple” and “We head a good run” and “I’ve head it up to here” and “Head us in stitches” and “You head me at hello” and “You head to be there.”
    • Hide → Head: As in, “Head and seek” and “Head from the light” and “Neither head nor hair” and “You can run, but you can’t head” and “Headen in plain sight.”
    • Thread → Head: As in, “Lose the head” and “Head the needle” and “Hanging by a head.”
    • Bed* → Head*: As in, “Strange headfellows” and “Head and breakfast” and “Head of roses.”
    • Bread → Head: As in, “Head and butter.”
    • *hed* → *head*: Headonism (hedonism), headgehog (hedgehog), headge (hedge), headonist (hedonist), watershead (watershed).
    • *hid* → *head*: Headeous (hideous), headden (hidden), orchead (orchid), echeadna (echidna).
  • Wood: Woods are a type of golf club. Here are related puns:
    • Would → Wood: As in, “As good luck wood have it” and “Wood be a fine thing” and “Woodn’t let it lie” and “Wood you like fries with that?”
    • Could → Would: As in, “Fast as his legs wood carry him” and “Wood see you a mile off.”
    • Good → Wood: “A wood man is hard to find” and “All wood things must come to an end” and “Always wood” and “All publicity is wood publicity.”
  • Lap → Overlap: “Overlap it up” and “Overlap of honour” and “Overlap of luxury.” Note: overlaps refer to a finger grip style.
  • Lag: A long-distance putt is also called a lag. Here are related puns:
    • Leg → Lag: As in, “Fast as his lags could carry him” and “Break a lag” and “Cost an arm and a lag” and “Get on your hind lags” and “Give a lag up.”
    • Bag → Lag: As in, “Lag a bargain” and “Lag and baggage” and “Lag of bones” and “Lag of tricks” and “In the lag.”
    • Flag → Lag: As in, “Fly the lag” and “Wave the white lag.”
    • Lag → Gag: “Lag reflex” and “Running lag” and “Going along with the lag.”
    • Rag → Lag: “Lags to riches” and “Glad lags” and “Lose your lag” and “Run yourself lagged.”
    • Wag → Lag: “Chin lag” and “Set tongues lagging” and “The tail lagging the dog.”
    • *leg* → *lag*: Lagacy (legacy), lagend (legend), lagitimate (legitimate), lagal (legal), lagion (legion), lagislation (legislation).
    • *log* → *lag*: Lagistics (logistics), lagic (logic), lagical (logical), analag (analog), catalag (catalog), technolagy (technology).
  • Has heard → Hazard: As in, “He hazard of the newest novel.” Note: a hazard is an area that’s tricky to navigate on a gold course.
  • Hook: A hook is a type of angled swing. The next few puns are in reference to them:
    • Book → Hook: As in, “Balancing the hooks” and “Bell, hook and candle” and “Hook him” and “By the hook” and “A closed hook” and “Hit the hooks.”
    • Cook → Hook: As in, “Hooking with gas” and “Now we’re hooking” and “Hook up a storm” and “Hook up a storm.”
  • Pull: Pulls are another type of golf swing. We’ve got some pull-related puns in this list too:
    • Pool → Pull: As in, “Big fish in a small pull” and “Pull your money.”
    • Pill → Pull: As in, “A bitter pull to swallow” and “On the pull” and “Sweeten the pull.”
    • Bull → Pull: As in, “A load of pull” and “A red rag to a pull” and “Cock and pull story” and “Like a pull in a china shop” and “Take the pull by the horns.”
    • Full → Pull: As in, “A few bricks short of a pull load” and “At pull pelt” and “At pull tilt” and “Come pull circle” and “Pull blast” and “Pull of holes” and “Pull of natural goodness.”
    • *pal* → *pull*: Pullpable (palpable), pullette (palette), pulliative (palliative), pullate (palate), pulltry (paltry), pullindrome (palindrome), principull (principal), municipull (municipal) and archetypull (archetypal).
    • *pel → *pull: Compull (compel), gospull (gospel), impull (impel), repull (repel), dispull (dispel) and lapull (lapel).
    • *pol* → *pull*: As in, “New pullicy” and “Talking pullitics” and “Tone pullicing.” Other words that could work: Pullymath (polymath), pullemic (polemic), interpull (interpol), extrapullate (extrapolate), anthropullogy (anthropology) and apullogise (apologise). Note: if someone is polemic, then they write in support of one opinion.
    • *pul* → *pull*: Pullse (pulse), pullp (pulp), pullpit (pulpit), pullmonary (pulmonary), pullverise (pulverise), manipullate (manipulate), stipullate (stipulate), impullse (impulse), popullar (popular), compullsory (compulsory), popullation (population) and opullent (opulent).
    • *bul* → *pull*: Pully (bully), pullk (bulk), pullet (bullet), pullwark (bulwark), pullb (bulb), pullge (bulge), pullkhead (bulkhead), pullshit (bullshit), instanpull (istanbul), nepullous (nebulous), fapullous (fabulous) amd epullient (ebullient).
  • Draw: A draw is a type of angled shot. Here are related puns:
    • Jaw → Draw: As in, “Draw dropping” and “Lantern drawed” and “Out of the draws of death” and “Snatching defeat from the draws of victory.”
    • Raw → Draw: As in, “A draw deal” and “Draw data.”
    • Straw → Draw: As in, “Clutch at draws” and “A drowning man will clutch at a draw” and “The last draw” and “Man of draw” and “You can’t make bricks without draw.”
  • Fade: A fade is another type of angled hit. Here are related puns:
    • Fed → Fade: As in, “Corn fade” and “Fade up to the back teeth” and “Well fade.”
    • Grade → Fade: As in, “Make the fade” and “Professional fade.”
    • Laid → Fade: As in, “Get fade” and “Fade low” and “The best fade plans.”
    • Made → Fade: As in, “A match fade in heaven” and “Got it fade” and “Fade for each other.”
    • Paid → Fade: As in, “Fade up” and “Put fade to” and “Bought and fade for.”
    • Shade → Fade: As in, “Fifty fades of grey” and “Light and fade” and “Made in the fade.”
    • Trade → Fade: As in, “A fair fade” and “Free fade” and “Jack of all fades” and “Tools of the fade” and “Tricks of the fade.”
    • Weighed → Fade: “Fade in the balance and found wanting.”
  • Push: A push is a type of angled golf shot, so we’ve included push-related puns:
    • Bush → Push: As in, “Beat about the push” and “Bright eyed and pushy tailed” and “Push tucker.”
    • Pashmina → Pushmina: (note: a pashmina is a type of cashmere wool).
  • Slice: A slice is a type of golfing shot. Here are related terms:
    • Dice → Slice: As in, “Slice with death” and “Load the slice” and “No slice” and “Roll the slice.”
    • Nice → Slice: “A slice idea” and “Slice as ninepence” and “Have a slice day” and “Naughty but slice” and “Slice and easy does it.”
    • Ice → Slice: “Cold as slice” and “Break the slice” and “Cut no slice” and “Slice cold” and “On slice” and “Skating on thin slice.”
    • Price → Slice: “Asking slice” and “At a slice to suit your pocket” and “Cheap at half the slice” and “Closing slice” and “Pay the slice.”
    • Spice → Slice: As in, “Slice things up” and “Sugar and slice” and “Variety is the slice of life.”
    • Twice → Slice: “Large as life and slice as handsome” and “Don’t think slice” and “Once bitten, slice shy” and “Once or slice” and “Opportunity never knocks slice.”
  • Ace: An ace is a hole in one. Here are related puns:
    • Base → Ace: “All your ace are belong to us” and “Ace jumping” and “Aceball card” and “Caught off ace” and “Cover your aces” and “Get to first ace with” and “Touch ace with.”
    • Case → Ace: As in, “As the ace may be” and “Basket ace” and “Ace the joint” and “Crack the ace” and “An open and shut ace” and “Get off my ace.”
    • Chase → Ace: As in, “Ace it up” and “Ace the dragon” and “Ace your own tail” and “Cut to the ace” and “Go and ace yourself” and “The thrill of the ace” and “A wild goose ace.”
    • Face → Ace: As in, “An ace as long as a fiddle” and “About ace” and “At ace value” and “Until you’re blue in the ace.”
    • Grace → Ace: As in, “Airs and aces” and “Amazing ace” and “Fall from ace” and “Ace period” and “Saving ace” and “With good ace.”
    • Lace → Ace: As in, “Chantilly ace” and “Ace into” and “Straight aced.”
    • Pace → Ace: As in, “At a snail’s ace” and “Change of ace” and “Keep ace with” and “Ace up and down” and “Put through your aces.”
    • Race → Ace: As in, “A day at the aces” and “An ace against time” and “Rat ace” and “The amazing ace.”
    • Space → Ace: As in, “Deep ace” and “Ace oddity” and “Ace cadet” and “Waste of ace” and “Watch this ace” and “Wide open aces.”
    • Ice → Ace: As in, “Cold as ace” and “Break the ace” and “Cut no ace” and “Ace cold” and “Put on ace” and “Skating on thin ace.”
  • Playoff: A playoff is a match between tied players. Here are related puns:
    • Play → Playoff: As in, “Work, rest and playoff” and “Child’s playoff” and “Come out and playoff” and “Don’t playoff the innocent” and “Fair playoff.”
    • Off → Playoff: As in, “All bets are playoff” and “A bit playoff” and “A load playoff your mind.”
  • Scratch: Someone with a handicap of 0 or less is called a scratch golfer, so we’ve included scratch in this list:
    • Catch → Scratch: As in, “Scratch 22″ and “Scratch a case” and “Scratch a falling star” and “Scratch fire” and “Scratch of the day.”
    • Hatch → Scratch: As in, “Down the scratch” and “Batten down the scratches.”
    • Match → Scratch: As in, “A scratch made in heaven” and “Game, set and scratch” and “Mix and scratch” and “A perfect scratch.”
    • Snatch → Scratch: As in, “Body scratcher” and “Scratching victory from the jaws of defeat.”
  • Ornament → Tournament
  • Bag: Carry bags are important in storing golf equipment, so we have some bag-related puns too:
    • Beg → Bag: As in, “Bag a favour” and “Bag pardon” and “Bag the question” and “Bag to differ” and “Bag, borrow or steal” and “Sit up and bag.”
    • Big → Bag: “A bag ask” and “Bag shot” and “Bag Ben.”
    • Bug → Bag: “Cute as a bag’s ear” and “Bitten by the bag” and “Love bag.”
    • Rag → Bag: As in, “From bags to riches” and “Glad bags” and “Run yourself bagged.”
    • Wag → Bag: As in, “Chin bag” and “Set tongues bagging” and “The tail bagging the dog.”
    • Beg* → Bag*: “Let’s bagin again” and “From the baginning” and “Don’t bagrudge me this” and “When it all bagan.”
    • *big* → *bag*: Bagot (bigot), ambaguous (ambiguous) and ambaguity (ambiguity).
  • Gloves: Gloves can be an important piece of support equipment for golfers. Here are related puns:
    • Loves → Gloves: As in, “Misery gloves company” and “They glove me, they glove me not.”
    • Govern* → Glovern*: Glovernment (government), glovernance (governance), glovern (govern).
  • Loft: Loft is how much the face of the golf club is angled upwards. Here are some loft-related puns:
    • Laughed → Loft: “Loft out of court” and “They all loft” and “A loft a minute” and “Lofting stock” and “Barrel of lofts” and “Loft your head off.”
    • Left → Loft: As in, “Exit stage loft” and “Hang a loft” and “Keep loft” and “Loft in the lurch” and “Loft out in the cold” and “Loft, right and centre” and “Loft to your own devices.”
    • Lift → Loft: As in, “Loft your game” and “Loft your spirits” and “Loft the lid off.”
    • Loved → Loft: As in, “Better to have loft and lost” and “All loft up.”
    • Soft → Loft: “Got a loft spot for” and “A loft touch” and “Loften the blow.”
  • Lunch → Launch: As in, “Brown bag launch” and “Ladies who launch” and “Let’s do launch” and “Liquid launch” and “Lose your launch” and “Power launch” and “No such thing as a free launch.” Note: launch is to do with the golf ball’s trajectory.
  • Back → Backspin: As in, “Answer backspin” and “As soon as my backspin is turned” and “At the backspin of my mind” and “Backspin to the future” and “Backspin in the day.”
  • Spin → Backspin: As in, “Make your head backspin” and “My head is backspinning” and “Take it for a backspin” and “Backspin a yarn.”
  • Lie: A lie is another word for a trap:
    • Dry → Lie: “Boring as watching paint lie” and “Lie as a bone” and “Before the ink was lie” and “Hung out to lie.”
    • Eye → Lie: “As far as the lie can see” and “Before your very lies.”
    • Fly → Lie: “Come lie with me” and “Lie off the handle” and “Lie a kite.”
  • Ounce → Bounce: As in, “A bounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.” Note: this refers to the bounce of the golf ball.
  • Prayer → Player: As in, “I say a littler player” and “Like a player.”
  • Skin: Skins is a type of golf game.
    • Sin → Skin: As in, “Miserable as skin” and “Cardinal skin” and “Living in skin” and “The seven deadly skins” and “Skin city.”
    • Been → Skin: As in, “Skin and gone” and “Skin here before” and “Skin in the wars.”
    • Spin → Skin: As in, “Give it a skin” and “In a flat skin” and “Make your head skin” and “Take it for a skin.”
  • Scramble: A scramble is a type of team game. Here are some related puns:
    • Gamble → Scramble: As in, “Take a scramble.”
    • Shamble → Scramble: “Complete scrambles” and “In a total scrambles.”
  • Greensome: A greensome is a type of golfing match. Here are related puns:
    • Green → Greensome: As in, “As greensome as grass” and “Give it the greensome light” and “Greensome around the gills” and “Greensome shoots of change.”
    • Some → Greensome: As in, “All that and then greensome” and “Catch greensome rays” and “Cut greensome slack” and “Make greensome noise” and “Buy greensome time.”
  • Wolf: Since a wolf is a version of match play, these wolf-related phrases can double as puns: “Cry wolf” and “Wolf in sheep’s clothing” and “Wolf whistle” and “Lone wolf.”
  • Tour: These next few puns are in reference to professional golf tours:
    • Cure → Tour: As in, “An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of tour” and “What can’t be toured must be endured” and “Take the tour.”
    • Pure → Tour: As in, “Tour and simple” and “Tour genius” and “The truth is rarely tour and never simple.”
    • Sure → Tour: As in, “A tour sign” and “Raise your hang if you’re tour” and “Slowly but tourly” and “A tour thing.”
    • Two → Tour: As in, “A bicycle built for tour” and “A tale of tour cities” and “As alike as tour peas in a pod” and “Eating for tour” and “Goody tour shoes.”
    • Too → Tour: As in, “A bridge tour far” and “About time, tour” and “Know tour much” and “Life’s tour short.”

Golf-Related Words

To help you come up with your own golf puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

golf, golfer, club, ball, sport, green, fore, tee, putter, putt, putting, par, handicap, stroke, swing, hole, course, game, ground, fairway, rough, grass, bunker, sand, trap, match, play, nine, eighteen, peg, mound, drive, driver, iron, condor, albatross, eagle, birdie, lay-up, approach, pitch, chip, holing, bogey, cart, trolley, caddy, caddies, penalty, score, rules, regulations, etiquette, safety, fair, fairness, pace, bounds, shaft, lance, grip, head, wood, hybrid, chip, overlap, interlock, claw, anchor, pendulum, lag, hazard, hook, pull, draw, fade, push, slice, ace, playoff, scratch, tournament, ball marker, carry bag, sunday bag, cart bag, staff bag, stand bag, travel bag, gloves, loft, clubset, wedge, launch, backspin, lie, bounce, player, greenside bunker, waste bunker, muscle back, cavity back, fade, draw, hosel, skin, stableford, foursome, fourball, scramble, champagne, greensome, wolf, tour

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Harry Potter Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on Harry Potter Puns! ✨🧙

As well as bringing you a collection of magical puns from the Harry Potter universe, we also have separate entries for witch puns, elf puns and magic puns.

We’ve made this list as varied and comprehensive as possible, with puns ranging from the locations in the Harry Potter universe, to character names, to types of spells and more.

Please note that while we have included the phrases “mudblood”, “pureblood”, and “half-blood” in our related words list, we haven’t provided any puns for them as they are intended as oppressive, discriminatory insults in the novels and are widely considered to be analogies for racism, and any puns including those words would feel very much like a racist pun.

Harry Potter Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about alpacas that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of Harry Potter puns:

  • Harry: To kick off, here are some common phrases that use the name “Harry”, which you can use to make your own Harry Potter puns in the right context: “Dirty Harry,” “Flash Harry,” and “Tom, Dick and Harry.”
  • Hairy → Harry: As in, “Give it the harry eyeball,” and “Things are looking a bit harry.”
  • Hurry → Harry: As in, “Harry up! We’re going to miss Dumbledore’s speech!”
  • Potter: Make some references to the other meanings that the word “potter” has: “Potter about” (to wander around), “Potter’s clay,” and “Potter’s field.” 
  • Bought her → Potter: As in, “They Potter a new book.” 
  • Spot her → S-Potter: As in, “Can you s-Potter?” and “I need a s-Potter for this exercise.”
  • Particular → Pottercular: As in, “This pun topic is very Pottercular.” 
  • *pot → *potter:  Place “potter” onto words ending with “pot”: “Crack-potter” (crackpot), “Flower-potter” (flowerpot), “Jack-potter” (jackpot), “suns-potter” (sunspot), “Tea-potter” (teapot)
  • Hippopotamus → HippoPottermus: As in, “That hippoPottermus really likes Harry Potter puns.”
  • Pot o’ → Potter: As in, “Would you like a Potter tea?”
  • Patina → Potty-na: As in, “The Potty-na on that Mirror of Erised is just breathtaking.” (Note: “Patina” refers to a thin layer of tarnish caused by oxidation).
  • Potty: Reference Harry Potter’s nickname (Potty, Potty Wee Potter) with these phrases that contain “potty”: “Potty-mouthed,” and “Potty trained,” and “Gone potty.”
  • Danger → Granger: As in, “A little knowledge is a grangerous thing,” “Armed and grangerous,” and “Grangerous liaisons,” and “These Hermione Granger puns are grangerously cheesy,” and “Live grangerously,” and “Out of granger,” and “stranger granger.” 
  • Stranger → Granger: As in, “Don’t be a granger,” and “Perfect granger,” and “Granger danger,” and “Granger than fiction,” and “Granger things have happened,” and “Grangers in the night,” and “Grangers on a train,” and “The kindness of grangers,” and “Total granger,” and “The truth is granger than fiction.”
  • Wrong → Ron: As in, “Barking up the ron tree,” and “From the ron side of the tracks,” and “Get off on the ron foot,” and “Go down the ron way,” and “If anything can go ron, it will,” and “If this is ron, I don’t want to be right,” and “In the ron,” and “It went down the ron way,” and “Jumping to the ron conclusions,” and “There’s nothing ron with that,” and “(To be) rubbed the ron way,” and “The right place at the ron time,” and “Two rons don’t make a right,” and “What’s ron with this picture?” and “Fall into the ron hands.”
  • Bon → Ron: As in, “Ron voyage” and “Ron appetit.”
  • Run → Ron: As in, “A river rons through it,” and “Blade Ronner,” and “Born to ron,” and “Don’t try to ron before you can walk,” and “He’s gone and done a ronner,” and “A dry ron,” and “We had a good ron,” and “Hit and ron,” and “In the long ron,” and “In the ronning,” and “Don’t let your imagination ron riot,” and “My cup ronneth over,” and “Ron for your life,” and “Take a ronning jump.”
  • *ron: Emphasize words that end with “ron” – “Squad-ron,” and “Elect-ron,” and “Ba-ron,” and “I-ron,” and “Saff-ron,” and “Cit-ron,” and “Gridi-ron,” and “He-ron.” 
  • Weasel → Weasley: As in, “Pop goes the weasley,” and “Weasley and stoat,” and “A bag of weasleys.” 
  • Weaselly → Weasley: As in, “But he’s such a weasley character..”
  • Easily → Weasily: As in, “A fool and his money are weasily parted,” or “Flies off the handle weasily,” and “Don’t worry, you’ll weasily deal with this.” 
  • Measle → Weasle: As in, “He’s got the weasles,” and “What a weasley (measly) meal,” and “This is the weasliest (measliest) thing you’ve ever made.”
  • Adore → Dumble-adore: As in, “I Dumble-adore you,” or “That was Dumble-adorable.”
  • Door → Dumbledoor: As in, “As dead as a dumbledoornail,” and “As one dumbledoor closes, another one opens,” and “At death’s dumbledoor,” and “Beat a path to your dumbledoor,” and “Behind closed dumbledoors,” and “The boy next dumbledoor,” and “Begone and never darken my dumbledoors again,” and “Foot in the dumbledoor,” and “My dumbledoor is always open,” and “An open dumbledoor policy” and “Don’t let the dumbledoor hit you on the way out.” 
  • Seriously → Severus-ly: As in, “Severus-ly though, ten points from Gryffindor,” and “But severus-ly folks, give us a hand.” Also works for serious – “Stop joking around! I’m severus.” 
  • Snake → Snape: As in, “Lower than a Snape’s belly,” and “Snape eyes,” and “Snape in the grass,” and “Snapes and ladders,” and “Snapes alive,” and “Snape oil,” and “Snapes on a Plane.” 
  • Ape → Snape: As in, “Rise of the Planet of the Snapes.” 
  • Shape → Snape: As in, “All snapes and sizes,” and “Bent out of snape,” and “Get into snape,” and “Keep in snape,” and “Ship snape,” and “The snape of things to come,” and “It’s all pear-snaped,” and “In any way, snape or form,” and “Whip into snape.” 
  • Grapevine → Snapevine: As in, “I heard it through the snapevine,” and “Sour snapes” and “The snapes of wrath.”
  • *ape → E-snape: As in, “That was a narrow e-snape!” and “The great e-snape,” and “Fire e-snape,” and “Their mouths were asnape (agape)” and “What a beautiful landsnape (landscape)” and “This is all looking shipsnape (shipshape)”.
  • Snap → Snape: As in, “A snape decision,” and “Snape happy,” and “Snape out of it,” and “Snape someone’s head off,” and “Snape to it!” and “Snape, crackle and pop” and “A cold snape,” and “It’s a snape,” and “Snape (one’s) fingers” and “Make it snape-y!” 
  • *snip → *snape: As in, “Fine words butter no parsnapes (parsnips).”
  • Snapchat → Snapechat: As in, “What’s your snapechat?”
  • Severe → Severus: As in, “It was a really severus accident.” 
  • Several → Severus: As in, “There were severus factors involved.” 
  • Sever → Severus: As in, “Don’t severus that cord!” 
  • *all → McGonagall: Add “McGonagall” to words ending in “all” – “McGonagallop” (gallop), “McGonagallows” (gallows), “McGonagall-bladder” (gall-bladder), “McGonagallant” (gallant), “McGonagallantry” (gallantry), “McGonagalleon” (works for both the pirate ship and the gold coin in the Harry Potter universe), “McGonagallery” (gallery), and “McGonagalley” (galley)
  • Serious → Sirius: As in, “Sirius as a heart attack,” and “Sirius money,” and “You cannot be sirius,” and “But siriusly,” and “Dead sirius.”
  • Mysterious → Myst-sirius: As in, “That was a really myst-sirius novel.” 
  • Series → Sirius: As in, “It’s the world sirius!”
  • Siri is → Sirius: As in, “Sirius extremely smart.”
  • Syria’s → Sirius: As in, “Sirius in a lot of trouble, and has been for a long time.” (Siriusly though, it’s not a laughing matter and you should definitely look into the Syrian crisis and see what you can do to help)
  • Black: Here are some black-related phrases for you to make some sirius puns with (get it? Serious/sirius puns?): “As black as coal/ink/pitch/night,” and  “Back to black,” and “Black Friday,” and “Black and blue,” and “Black comedy,” and “- is the new black, and “Black tie,” and “In a black mood,” and “Little black book,” and “Little black dress,” and “Paint it black,” and “Pot calling the kettle black,” and “Two blacks don’t make a white” and a nice important one to finish off, “Black lives matter.”
  • Rue This → Rubeus: As in, “You will rubeus day!”
  • Haggard → Hagrid: As in, “The last few weeks of work have got me looking really hagrid.” (Note: “Haggard” is an adjective meaning pale, exhausted and worn-down).
  • Adore → Gryffin-adore: As in, “I Griffyn-adore Harry Potter.” 
  • Endorphin → Gryffindorphin: As in, “Exercising is great for gryffindorphins.” (Note: endorphins are a feelgood chemical)
  • Endorse → Gryffindorse: As in, “A glowing gryffindorsement,” and “I gryffindorse it,” and “They have been gryffindorsed.”
  • Shuffle → S-hufflepuff: Remember that this can work for all forms of the word shuffle – as in, “Give the cards a s-hufflepuff,” and “They’ve been s-hufflepuffed,” “But how many s-hufflepuffs?” and “They definitely need re-shufflepuffing” and “Every day I’m s-hufflepuffing.”
  • Kerfuffle → Kerfhufflepuff: As in, “These Harry Potter puns are sure to cause a great kerfhufflepuff.” 
  • Perfection → Hufflepuffection: As in, “These corny puns are hufflepuffection.”
  • Raven → Ravenclaw: As in, “Quoth the Ravenclaw.”
  • Awesome → Ravenclawesome: As in, “These magical puns are Ravenclawesome.”
  • Slither in → Slytherin: As in, “Can I slytherin (to your bed/chamber of secrets)?”
  • Blithering → Slythering: As in, “The slythering idiot!” (Blithering meaning to talk in a foolish, aimless way)
  • Crap → Crabbe: As in, “What a load of crabbe,” and “Cut the crabbe,” and “I’m just going to the crabbe-r,” and “Stop crabbe-ing around,” and “Do bears crabbe in the woods?” and “Don’t crabbe where you eat,” and “Holy crabbe,” and “These are some really crabbe-y puns.” 
  • Grab → Crabbe: As in, “Crabbe a bite to eat,” and “Crabbe their attention,” “Crabbe life by the horns,” and “Screen crabbe,” and “Up for crabbes,” and “Crabbe life by the throat,” and “Crabbe a chair,” and “Crabbe bag,” and “Crabbe some rays,” and “How does that crabbe you?” Don’t forget that this will also work for grabbed (crabbe-d) and grabbing (crabbe-ing). 
  • Crab/by → Crabbe/y: As in, “Don’t be so crabbe-y!” and “Those crabbes are very cute.”
  • Girl → Goyle: As in, “A goyle’s best friend” and “All-American goyle,” and “Atta goyle!” and “Baby goyle,” and “Boy meets goyle,” and “California goyles,” “Diamonds are a goyle’s best friend,” and “Goyle next door,” and “Goyle with a pearl (or poyle) earring,” and “Goyle power,” and “Goyles just wanna have fun,” “That’s what little goyles are made of,” and “The ‘It’ goyle,” and “What’s a goyle to do?” and “Working goyle,” and “You go, goyle” and “Goyleboss” (girlboss).
  • Gold → Goyle-d: As in, “A pot of goyle-d,” and “All that glitters is not goyle-d,” and “As good as goyle-d” and “Five goyle-den rings” and “Fool’s goyle-d” and “Get a goyle-d star” and “Go for goyle-d” and “Goyle-d digger,” and “Goyle-den years,” and “A goyle-den opportunity,” and “A heart of goyle-d,” and “Pure goyle-d,” and “Silence is goyle-den,” and “Sitting on a goyle-dmine,” and “The goyle-den gate bridge” and “The goyle-den mean” and “The streets of London are paved with goyle-d” and “Worth your weight in goyle-d.”
  • Cold → Goyle’d: As in, “as goyle’d as ice” and “Break out in a goyl’d sweat” and “Go goyle’d turkey” and “A goyle’d day in hell”, “Goyle’d feet”, “Goyle’d light of day”, “The goyle’d shoulder”, “Hard, goyle’d cash”, “In goyle’d blood”, “Left out in the goyle’d,” and “Stone goyle’d sober”, “The goyle’d war”, and “They’re out goyle’d!”
  • Coil → Goyle: As in, “Shuffle off this mortal goyle.” Also works for other forms of “coil” – recoil (re-goyle) and “uncoil” (un-goyle).
  • Curl → Goyle: As in, “Goyle up and die”, “Goyle your lip”, “Enough to make your hair goyle,” and “Make someone’s toes goyle,” and “Have ’em by the short and goyle-lies.” 
  • Coyly → Goyle-ly: As in, “She goyle-ly said that she loves me”. 
  • God → Godric: As in, “A face like a Greed Godric,” and “An act of Godric” and “As Godric is my witness”, “A child of Godric” and “For the love of Godric,” and “Godric forbid” and “Honest to Godric,” among many others.
  • Witch: Some phrases with the word “witch”: “The witching hour”, “Witch hunt”, “Witches knickers”, and “Which witch is which?” 
  • Switch → Witch: Replace or emphasise the words “switch” and “witch” in these common phrases: “Asleep at the s-witch,” and “S-witch off”, “S-witch on”, and “S-witch hitter”. 
  • *wich → *witch: Switch words ending in -wich around with witch: “What’s the Green-witch mean time?” and “When do you want to go to Nor-witch?” and “What’s in this sand-witch?” 
  • B*tch → Witch: Make your cusswords kid-friendly by swapping witch in: “Witch fest,” and “Witch slap,” and “Flip a witch,” and “Life’s a witch and then you die” and “Payback’s a witch,” and “Rich witch,” and “The witch is back,” and “Basic witch,” and “Witch and moan,” and “Resting witch face.”
  • *witch: Emphasise words that end in witch: “What’s with that t-witch?” and “The power to be-witch.” Also works for other forms of these words, like “be-witching” and “t-witches.” 
  • Rich* → Witch*: Swap the word “witch” into words that start with a “rich” sound – “Witchard” (Richard), “Witcher” (richer), “Witchual” (ritual), “Witchualistic” (ritualistic), “Witchest” (richest). 
  • Enrich → En-witch: As in, “en-witch the Earth”. 
  • Hours: Change hour-related sayings: “After witching hours,” and “At the eleventh witching hour,” and “Happy witching hour,” and “My finest witching hour,” and “Now is the witching hour” and “Open all witching hours” and “The darkest witching hour is just before the dawn.”
  • Magic: Magic-related phrases: “Every little thing she does is magic” and “It’s a kind of magic,” and “Magic Johnson”, “Magic beans”, “Magic carpet ride”, “Magical mystery tour”, “Make some magic,” and “The magic number”, “Wave your magic wand”, and “Work one’s magic.”
  • *agi* → *magic*: Use words with the soft “agi” sound in them: “Magic-tive (adjective)”, “Magic-sterial (magisterial)”, and “Imagic-nation (imagination)”. 
  • Spell: Some spell-related phrases: “Cast a spell” and “How do you spell relief?” and “Spell it out”, “Be under (someone’s) spell,” and “Break the spell,” and “A dry spell” and “It spells trouble”, “Spelling bee”, and “Back in a spell!”
  • Smell → Spell: As in, “Come up spelling of roses”, “I spell a rat”, “A keen sense of spell,” and “A rose by any other name would spell just as sweet”, “Spell ya later”, “Spells like teen spirit”, Stop and spell the roses”, “The sweet spell of success”, “Tastes as good as it spells,” and “Whoever spelled it, dealt it”. Also works for other forms of smell – spelly (smelly) and spelling (smelling). 
  • Stellar → Spellar: As in, “What a spellar performance from England!”
  • Expel → Ex-spell: As in, “I don’t want to be ex-spelled!”
  • Spill → Spell: As in, “Spell the beans,” and “Spell your guts,” and “Cry over spelled milk,” and “Spell the tea,” and “He took a spell.”
  • Book → Spellbook: As in, “A room without spellbooks is like a body without a soul”, “Always have your nose in a spellbook,” and “Spellbook worm”, “By the spellbook,” and “Every trick in the spellbook,” and “Read any good spellbooks lately?” and “His life’s an open spellbook” and “Hit the spellbooks,” and “Little black spellbook,” and “So many spellbooks, so little time”, and “Don’t judge a spellbook by its cover”.  
  • Curse: Some curse-related phrases to make witch puns out of: “Commentator’s curse,” and “I’d rather light a candle than curse the dark,” and “Curses!”
  • *curse*: Use words that already have “curse” in them: “Curseor (cursor)”, “Precurseor (precursor)”, “Accursed,” and “Curseive (cursive)”, “Recurseion (recursion)”, and “Excurseion (excursion)”. 
  • Course → Curse: As in, “But of curse,” and “A correspondence curse,” and “Of curse you can”, “Crash curse,” and “In due curse,” and “Let nature take its curse,” and “A matter of curse” and “On a collision curse,” and “Par for the curse,” and “Run its curse,” and “The curse of true love never did run smooth”. 
  • Chant: Use words either related to or containing “chant”: “Chantal,” and “Chanted,” and “Disenchanted,” and “Disenchantment,” and “Enchanting” and “Merchant,” and “Penchant.” 
  • Can’t → Chant: As in, “An offer one chant refuse”, “Chant get enough”, “Chant stand it”, “I chant hear you!”, “It chant be helped”, “You chant say fairer than that”, “Chant see beyond the end of one’s nose”, “Don’t make promises you chant keep”, “Those who can have a moral obligation to do for those who chant,” and “If you chant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
  • Wand: Related phrases: “Goosey goosey gander, whither shall I wand-er?” and “Wave your magic wand.”
  • *wand*: Emphasise the “wand” in certain words: “Qwandaries (quandaries)”, “Rwanda“, “Sqwander (squander)”,  “Taekwando (taekwondo)”, “Wander“, “Wanderer,” and “Wanderlust.”
  • Want → Wand: As in, “All I really wand to do,” and “Any way you wand it,” and “Do you really wand to hurt me?” and “Do you wand the good news or the bad news?” and “Everything you always wand-ed,” and “Girls just wand to have fun,” and “It’s my party and I’ll cry if I wand to.”
  • *ora/orer → *auror: Change words with an “ora” or “orer” sound to make puns about aurors: “A great explauror (explorer)”, “Unexplainable hauror (horror)”, “She works as an art restauror (restorer)”, “I’m going to see the Aurora Borealis”, and “You probably shouldn’t buy that fedauror (fedora)”. 
  •  Phoenix: Related phrases: “Phoenix from the flames”, and  “rise like a phoenix from the ashes”.
  • Chamber of Secrets: This one has plenty of pick up lines associated with it due to the references to a secret, private location that has a giant snake living in it – for example, “I’d like to Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets.” You can come up with others on your own.
  • Bedchamber → Bedchamber of Secrets: Add “of Secrets” to the end of “bedchamber” to make some inadvisable puns. 
  • 9 & 3/4: Whenever someone makes a reference to a number, throw 9 & 3/4 in there. For example, instead of “10/10, would recommend”, you would have 9 & 3/4 /10, would recommend”, or “On a scale of 1 – 10, how much do I like Harry Potter puns? Definitely 9 & 3/4.”
  • *Prince → *Half-Blood Prince: Insert the term “half-blood” into these phrases about princes to make some Harry Potter puns that reference the sixth book (Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince): “A (half-blood) prince among men, “(Half-blood) prince of darkness”, “Someday my (half-blood) prince will come”. 
  • Owl: Owls are similar to newts in that they have multiple meanings that you can take advantage of – it can mean the real life bird, the magical creature in Harry Potter, a way to get mail in Harry Potter (as in, “Did you get my owl?”) and an acronym (O.W.Ls) for wizarding exams. Here are some owl-related phrases to help you make an owly Harry Potter pun: “As wise as an owl,” and “Night owl,” and “The owl without a vowel”. 
  • *owl → owl: Replace or emphasise the word “owl” in words that end in “owl”: “Bowl over”, “Neither fish nor fowl,” and “On the prowl.”
  • *owl → *owl: Make some corny Potter puns by emphasising words that end in “owl” (including “oul”) sounds, like “Cowl,” and “fowl” (for both “fowl” and “foul”), “growl,” and “howl,” and “jowl,” and “prowl,” and “scowl,” and “towl” (as in “towel”), “trowl” (as in “trowel”)
  • Aisle → Owl: As in, “Clean up in owl 3!” (Or perhaps 9-3/4 would be more appropriate)
  • I’ll → Owl: As in, “Owl get to it right away.”
  • Muddle → Muggle: As in, “Muggle-headed”, “Muggle along”, and “They’re all muggled up!” 
  • Smuggle → S-muggle: Emphasise the “muggle” sound in “smuggle”, like so: “Budgie s-muggler.” Also works for other forms of the word – “S-muggle,” and “S-muggleing,” and “S-muggle-d.” 
  • Smugly → S-muggley: As in, “Malfoy s-muggley reported the incident to his father.”
  • Quaff → Quaffle: As in, “He quaffled pint after pint”. (Note: to quaff is to drink)
  • Waffle → Quaffle: As in, “That vegan quaffle house is amazing”, and “This teacher never stops quaffling (waffling)”. 
  • Dobbed → Dobby-ed: As in, “They were dobby-ed in to the police”. 
  • Lizard → Wizard: As in, “Flat out like a wizard drinking”, “Lounge wizard,” and “The wizard king”. 
  • Wizard → Hedge Wizard: As in, “The Hedge Wizard of Oz”, and “We’re off to see the hedge wizard.” Note: A hedge wizard is a type of “small-time” wizard.
  • Wizard → Triwizard: As in, “The Triwizard of Oz”, and “We’re off to see the Triwizard.” Good for multi-fandom puns.
  • Grim old place → Grimmauld Place: As in, “What a truly grimmauld place”.
  • Parcel → Parseltongue: Replace “parcel” in these phrases with “parseltongue”: “Good things come in small parseltongues,” and “Part and parseltongue,” and “Pass the parseltongue.” 
  • Tongue → Parseltongue: As in, “Acid parseltongue,” and “Bite your parseltongue,” and “Cat got your parseltongue?” and “Mother parseltongue,” and “Roll off the parseltongue,” and “Slip of the parseltongue,” and “The gift of parseltongues.”
  • Profess her → Professor: As in, “She’s about to professor love for corny Harry Potter puns”. 
  • Nocturnally → Knockturn Alley: As in, “These creatures live knockturn alley.” 
  • Fork → Fawkes: As in, “Fawkes out!” and “Knife and fawke it,” and “Speaking with a fawke-d tongue” and “Fawke off” and “Fawke it over” and “Stick a fawke in it”. 
  • F*ck → Fawkes: As in, “Clusterfawke,” and “I don’t give a flying fawke,” and “For fawke’s sake”, “Fawke!” and “Fawkebuddy,” and “Fawke my life” and “I’ve fawke-d it up” and “What the actual fawke?”
  • Malf* → Malfoy-*: As in, “A wardrobe malfoy-nction,” and “It’s malfoy-med (malformed)”, and “A malfoymation” (malformation).
  • Guinea → Ginny: As in, “The ginny pig state”, and “Worth a ginny a box”. 
  • Geneva → Ginny-va: As in, “As stated in the Ginny-va Convention…”
  • Never → Neville: There are far too many phrases and idioms that use the word “never” for me to list all of the examples here, but here’s a selection to start you off: “Always the bridesmaid, neville the bride”, and “Neville the twain shall meet”, “The city that neville sleeps”, “Begone and neville darken my doors again”, “Better late than neville,” and “An elephant neville forgets”, “It’s now or neville,” and “Well! I neville!” and “Neville a dull moment” and “Neville gonna give you up!”
  • Devil → Neville: As in, “Better the Neville you know than the Neville you don’t”, “Between the Neville and the deep blue sea”, “Neville in disguise”, “Neville may care”, “A Neville of a time”, “Neville’s food cake”, “Neville’s advocate”, “Speak of the Neville,” and “The Neville wears Prada”, “The Neville is in the detail”, “The Neville made me do it” and “What the Neville?”
  • Navel → Neville: As in, “I love neville oranges”, and “I’m going to get a neville piercing”.
  • Naval → Neville: As in, “The neville treaty was very long-winded”. 
  • Shame → Seamus: As in, “Seamus on you”, “The walk of Seamus,” and “Name and Seamus,” and “Put to Seamus” and “What a crying Seamus.”
  • Deem → Dean: As in, “I Dean you worthy”, and “Redean yourself”.
  • Radical → Radical-iffe: As in, “This series is radical-iffe.” 
  • Ema* → Emma*: Make some puns by changing words that start with “ema”-“Emmanate (emanate)”, “Emmagrant (emigrant)”, “Emmanence (eminence)”, and “Emmanent (emanent)”.
  • *ema* → *emma*: Reference Hermione/Emma Watson by changing words with an “ema” sound in them, as in: “Chemmacal (chemical)”, “Cemmatery (cemetery)”, “Demmagogue (demagogue)”, “Demmacratic (democratic)”, “Dilemma,” and “Femmanine (feminine)”, “Hemmasphere (hemisphere)”, and “Remmady (remedy)”.
  • Rolling → Rowling: As in, “A rowling stone gathers no moss”, “Get the ball rowling,” and “Like a rowling stone”, “Rowling in it”, “Rowling in the deep”, “Rowling in dough”, “She is bankrowling (bankrolling) me”, “Rowling out the red carpet”, “Stop rowling your eyes”, and “Rowling up my sleeves”. 
  • *awling/owling → *rowling: As in, “My baby is crowling! (crawling)”, “Your cat is growling,” and “You’re being very controwling,” and “Could you stop your prowling?”
  • Floor → Fleur: As in, “Cross the fleur,” and “Hold the fleur,” and “Mop the fleur with”, “Murder on the dance fleur” and “Fall to the fleur,” and “Fleur it!”, “Fleur-ed,” and “On the cutting room fleur,” and “Rolling (Rowling) on the fleur laughing”, and “So clean you could eat off the fleur.” 
  • Flora → Fleura: As in, “Fleura and fauna”.
  • Florist → Fleurist: As in, “Give the fleurist a call”, and “This fleuristry (floristry) course looks very expensive”. 
  • L’oreal → F’leureal: As in, “Looking for skincare by F’leureal? Too bad, all we have is some lame puns.” 
  • Flirt → Fleur’t: As in, “Fleur’ting with disaster”, “They’re a real fleur’t.” Also works with other forms of flirt – flirted (fleur’ted), flirtatious (fleur’tatious), flirtation (fleur’tation).
  • Lily: Here are some lily-related phrases: “Lily-white,” and “Lily-of-the-valley,” and “Lily-livered.” 
  • Moon: Related phrases for you to make some Lupin puns with: “Ask for the moon,” and “Bark at the moon,” and “A blue moon,” and “Chasing moonbeams,” and “East of the sun and west of the moon,” and “Eclipse of the moon,” and “Fly me to the moon,” and “Honeymoon period”, “Many moons ago”, “Moonlight serenade”, “Once in a blue moon,” and “Over the moon,” and “The dark side of the moon,” and “The cow jumped over the moon,” and “The man in the moon,” and “Phases of the moon” and “They danced by the light of the moon” and “Moon-walking,” “Blood moon”, “Moon about”, and “Reach for the moon.”
  • Money → Moony: As in, “A fool and his moony are soon parted”, “A tonne of moony,” and “Blood moony,” and “Easy moony,” and “For love or moony,” and “Funny moony” and “Get your moony’s worth”, “Hush moony,” and “I’m not made of moony” and “In the moony,” and “Mad moony,” and “Moony back guarantee”, “Moony can’t buy you love”, “Moony doesn’t grow on trees”, “Moony talks”, “Moony is no object”, “Moony is power”, “Time is moony” and “Moony is the root of all evil”, “Moony isn’t everything”, “Spend moony to make moony,” and “Moony makes the world go ’round”, “Moony to burn”, “More moony than sense”, “New moony,” and “Old moony,” and “On the moony,” and “Show me the moony,” “Shut up and take my moony,” and “Value for moony.”
  • Ream us → Remus: As in, “The boss is gonna remus when he finds this!” 
  • Molly: Some Molly-related sayings for you to play with: “Mollycoddled,” and “Good golly, Miss Molly.”
  • Marvellous → Marvolous: As in, “This Voldemort pun is truly marvolous.”
  • Madagascar → Mad-eyegascar: As in, “Did you like the new Mad-eyegascar movie?” 
  • Moody: Use jokes or phrases that have the word “moody” in them, as in: “Why did Barty Crouch stop drinking? Because it was making him moody.”
  • Maddening → Mad-eyening: As in, “This is a mad-eyening amount of puns”, “These Moody puns are mad-eyeningly funny”. 
  • Mad* → Mad-eye*: Sneak “Mad-eye” into names that begin with “Mad” – “Mad-eyeline” (Madeline), and “Mad-eyeson” (Madison).
  • Mood: Related phrases: “In the mood,” and “In a black mood,” and “A person of many moods.” 
  • Dragon: This refers to a cranky person and a magical beast in the Harry Potter universe. Here are some related phrases to help you make some magical puns: “Chase the dragon,” and “Dragon slayer”, “Slay the dragon,” and “Feed the dragon.”
  • Dragging → Dragon: As in, “He’s really dragon on again”. 
  • Roll → Troll: As in, “A trolling stone gathers no moss”, “A trolling ball gathers no moss”, “Heads will troll,” and “High troller,” and “I wanna rock and troll all night!” and “On a troll,” and “Ready to troll?” and “Troll in the hay”, “Troll up your sleeves”, “Troll with the punches”, “All trolled into one”, and the best one – “Trolling in the deep”. 
  • *roll* → *troll*: Mess with words with “roll” in them by replacing “roll” with “troll” like so: “Emotional troller-coaster,” and “Troll-ey boy”, and “Trolls-royce.” 
  • Peeve: As in, “My pet peeves.” 
  • Peter: Some Peter-related phrases for fans of Pettigrew puns: “Peter, Peter, pumpkin eater”, “Peter Piper”, “Peter out”, “Rob Peter to pay Paul”, and “Peter Pan syndrome”.
  • But he grew → Pettigrew: As in, “I thought he was done with his growth spurt, Pettigrew even taller”. 
  • Keeper: Get some Quidditch puns in with these keeper related phrases – “Am I my brother’s keeper?” and “Finders, keepers,” and “That’s a keeper.”  
  • Filch: “They filched from my office!”
  • Bill: Related sayings: “A clean bill of health”, “Fit the bill,” and “Foot the bill,” and “Phony as a three-dollar bill,” and “Sell someone a bill of goods”, “Bulk bill,” and “Silly billy!”
  • Broom: Change broom-related phrases for broomstick puns: “A new broomstick sweeps clean”, and “Marry over the broomstick.” 
  • Room → Broom: As in, “A broom with a view”, “Smallest broom in the house”, “Standing broom only”, and “This is my broommate.”  
  • Stick: Change stick-related phrases for broomstick puns: “As cross as two broomsticks,” and “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp broomstick,” and “Carrot and broomstick,” and “Every broomstick has two ends”, “Five, six, pick up broomsticks,” and “Got hold of the wrong end of the broomstick,” and “In the broomsticks,” and “More than you can shake a broomstick at”, “Short end of the broomstick,” and “Speak softly and carry a big broomstick,” and “Broomstick in the mud”, and “Broomsticks and bones may break my bones and words can contribute to systemic oppression”.
  • Nut → Knut: Replace “nut” with “knut” (a type of coin in Harry Potter): “As knutty as a fruit cake”, “As sweet as a knut,” and “Do your knut,” and “From soup to knuts,” and “Go knuts,” and “In a knutshell,” and “That old chestknut,” and “Some kind of knut,” and “A tough knut to crack”, “Knuts and bolts”, “If you pay pea-knuts, you get monkeys”, “Drives me knuts,” and “You can put that where the monkey keeps his knuts.” Dont forget that you can also replace the usual nuts with knuts – brazil knuts, candleknut, chestknut, hazelknut, hickory knut, kola knut, pea-knut, pine knut, and walknuts. Knutella (Nutella) isn’t a nut but it works too. 
  • Knot → Knut: As in, “Cut the gordian knut,” and “Dont get your knickers in a knut,” and “Tie the knut,” and “Tie yourself in knuts.”
  • Not → Knut: As in, “And whatknut,” and “As often as knut,” and “Believe it or knut,” and “It all came to knutting,” and “Down but knut out”, “Good for knutting”, “Let’s knut and say we did”, “Knut a chance,” “Knut a minute too soon”, “Knut a pretty sight”, “Knut all it’s cracked up to be”, “Knut bad”, “Knut by any means”, “Last but knut least”, “Waste knut, want knut”, and “Knut a soul”.
  • Knit → Knut: As in, “Guerrilla knutting,” and “Knut one, purl one”, “Knut your brow”, and “Stick to your knutting.”
  • Sick → Sickle: As in, “As sickle as a dog”, “Enough to make you sickle,” and “In sickle-ness and in health”, “Morning sickle-ness,” and “On the sickle list”, “Phone in sickle,” and “Sickle and tired”, “Sickle to the stomach”, and “Worried sickle.” 
  • *cycle/sicle → *sickle: As in, “A bisickle (bicycle) built for two”, “A woman without a man is like a fish without a bisickle (bicycle)”, “Let’s blow this popsickle (popsicle) stand!”, “What massive isickles” (icicles), “I want to ride my trisickle” (tricycle), and “This is farsickle!” (farcical – something ridiculous or absurd – a farce)
  • Secluded → Sickle-uded: As in, “It’s very dark and sickle-uded in here.”
  • Gall*→ Galleon: As in, “What a galleont (gallant) horse”, and “This is 30 galleons (gallons)”. 
  • Remember → Remembrall: As in, “Affair to remembrall,” and “If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remembrall anything”, and “Remembrall when?”
  • Charm: Some charm-related phrases to help you make some Harry Potter puns on the fly: “Charm the birds out of the trees”, “Lead a charmed life”, “Southern charm,” and “Third time’s a charm,” and “Works like a charm.”
  • Harm → Charm: As in, “First, do no charm,” and “In charm’s way,” and “No charm done,” and “No charm, no foul,” and “Wouldn’t charm a fly.”
  • Giant: Here are some giant related phrases: “Gentle giant,” and “Make giant strides”, “On the shoulders of giants,” and “Sleeping giant,” and “One small step for man, one giant leap for mankind”.
  • See her → Seer: As in, “Where did she go? I can’t seer!”
  • See → Seer: As in, “As far as the eye can seer,” and “Be the change you wish to seer in the world”, “Can’t seer beyond the end of your nose”, Can’t seer the wood for the trees”, “Come up and seer me sometime”, “I can seer clearly now”, and “I could seer you a mile off”.
  • *ear → Seer: As in, “All seers,” and “As cute as a bug’s seer” and “Don’t believe everything you seer (hear)”.
  • Sear → Seer: As in, “Would you like some seered eggplant?”
  • Sheer → Seer: As in, “Seer madness!” and “Seer stockings”.
  • Sear → Seer: As in, “It is seer-ing hot around here”.
  • Wh*re → Horcrux: As in, “Boo you horcrux.” There are other related phrases but we deemed them too offensive for inclusion and advise that you don’t use them either. 
  • Self-*→ Elf-*: As in, “Have some elf-conficence,” and “She’s got good elf-control.” Other words that would work with this format: elf-contained, elf-deceiving, elf-deprecating, elf-determination, elf-enrichment, elf-governing, elf-help, elf-improvement, elf-perpetuating, elf-portrait, elf-sufficient.
  • *self→ *elf: As in, “Be your-elf,” and “An elf-made business owner,” and “Apply your-elf,” and “Pull your-elf together,” and “I didn’t do it my-elf.” Note: this also works for the plural forms of both self and elf – as in, “Apply your-elves (apply yourselves),” and “Pull your-elves together.”
  • Self*→ Elf*: As in, “An elfish (selfish) person,” and “Elfless (selfless) bravery,” and “I won’t stand for such elfishness (selfishness).”
  • *alf*→ *elf*: As in, elfalfa (alfalfa), elfredo (alfredo), behelf (behalf – as in, “On behelf of”), and melfunction (malfunction – as in, “Why is the computer melfunctioning?”)
  • Selfie→ Elfie: As in, “Take an elfie,” and “Use an elfie stick.”
  • Health→ Helf: As in, “A helfy mind in a helfy body,” and “Bad for your helf,” and “A clean bill of helf,” and “Glowing with helf,” and “In sickness and in helf,” and “A picture of helf,” and “Take a helf-y interest,” and “Ill helf,” and “In the pink of helf,” and “Helfy as a horse.” Note: if you’re in the pink of health, then you’re in very good condition.
  • Wealth→ Welf: As in, “Rolling in welf,” and “Redistribution of welf,” and “Share the welf.”
  • Alphabet→ Elfabet: As in, “Elfabet soup,” and “Do you know your elfabet?”
  • Effin’ → Elfin: As in, “Elfin hell,” and “Not another elfin word!” Note: Effin’ is shorthand slang for f*cking.
  • Effed → Elfed: As in, “I elfed up,” and “It’s completely elfed.” Note: Effed is shorthand slang for f*cked (in the context that something is thoroughly ruined).
  • Half → Helf: As in, “Ain’t helf bad,” and “My better helf,” and “Getting there is helf the fun,” and “Helf a second,” and “Helf asleep,” and “Helfway to paradise,” and “Not helf the man I used to be,” and “How the other helf lives,” and “Glass helf empty,” and “Got helf a mind to…” and “Meet helfway,” and “Too clever helf bad.”
  • Halve → Helve: As in, “A problem shared is a problem helved,” and “Go helves,” and “By helves,” and “Do by helves.”
  • Awful → Elful: As in, “God elful,” and “Something elful has happened!”
  • Elephant → Elfant: As in, “An elfant never forgets,” and “Don’t think of pink elfants,” and “The elfant in the room,” and “A memory like an elfant,” and “When elfants make war, it’s the mice that suffer.”
  • Telephone → Telelfone: As in, “Hanging up the telelfone,” and “Waiting by the telelfone,” and “Hold the telelfone.”
  • Eavesdropping → Elvesdropping: As in, “Caught elvesdropping,” and “Elvesdropping on.”
  • *ella* → *elfa: As in, “Under the umbrelfa of,” and “Let a smile be your umbrelfa,” and “A classic novelfa (novella),” and “A spicy vegan paelfa (paella),” and “An a capelfa (capella) choir,” and “Miscelfaneous (miscellaneous) goods,” and “A stelfar (stellar) review,” and “A constelfation (constellation) of stars,” and “Down in the celfar (cellar),” and “A late cancelfation (cancellation).”
  • *ilf* → *elf*: As in, “Welfully disobedient,” and “Extremely skelful,” and “Pelfering the office supplies.” Note: to pilfer is to repeatedly steal small amounts.
  • *ulf* → *elf*: As in, “The Gelf (Gulf) of Mexico,” and “Engelfed in emotion,” and “Felfilled wishes,” and “Waiting for felfilment.” Note: to engulf is to completely surround and cover something.
  • *aff* → *elf*: As in, “Offer elffordances,” and “State of elffairs,” and “Links and elffiliates,” and “Brimming with elffection,” and “An elffluent family.” Other words that could work: elffected (affected), elffable (affable), elfford (afford), elffirm (affirm), elffinity (affinity), and elffect (affect). Notes: to be affable is to be easy to talk to. Affluence is an abundance of riches or wealth.
  • *eff* → *elf*: As in, “Elf off,” and “Or other words to that elffect,” and “Side elffects,” and “Spare no elffort,” and “Waiting to take elffect,” and “An elffective insult.” Other words that could work: elfficacy (efficacy), elfficient (efficient), elfficiency, elffusive. Notes: Effusiveness is an expression of great emotion or enthusiasm. Efficacy is the power to produce a desired effect.
  • *iff* → *elf*: “And now for something completely delfferent,” and “Delffuse the tension,” and “What’s the delfference?” and “A delfficult situation.” Other words that could work: plaintelff (plaintiff), tarelff (tariff), sherelff (sheriff), clelff (cliff), delfferentiate (differentiate), indelfferent (indifferent) and delffident (diffident). Notes: to be diffident is to not have confidence in your abilities. To differentiate is to discern a difference between things.
  • *off* → *elf*: As in, “A load elff your mind,” and “All bets are elff,” and “Back elff,” and “Bite elff more than you can chew,” and “Bite someone’s head elff,” and “Blow elff some steam,” and “Bouncing elff the walls,” and “A chip elff the old block,” and “Dance your socks elff,” and “Fall elff the wagon,” and “Fly elff the handle,” and “Fly elff the shelves,” and “Get it elff your chest,” and “Get elff lightly,” and “Get elff on the wrong foot,” and “Could see you a mile eff,” and “Learned elff by heart,” and “Let’s call the whole thing elff,” and “Like water elff a duck’s back.” Other off-related or inclusive words that could work: elffset (offset), elffice (office), elffer (offer), elfficial (official), elffensive (offensive), elffence (offence), elfficer (officer).
  • Afghanistan → Elfghanistan
  • Africa → Elfrica
  • *af* → *elf*: As in, “Elfter all,” and “Elfter my own heart,” and “Chase elfter,” and “A delfening silence,” and “Happily ever elfter,” and “Offer elffordances,” and “Selfty first,” and “Be elfraid, be very elfraid.” Other suitable words: elficionado (aficionado), elfire (afire), elfield (afield), bonelfide (bonafide), elfloat (afloat), elflame (aflame), elflutter (aflutter), lelflet (leaflet), elforementioned (aforementioned), elforesaid (aforesaid), elfoul (afoul), elfoot (afoot), elforethought (aforethought), pinelfore (pinafore), elfresh (afresh), elftermath (aftermath), elfterward (afterward), elftershave (aftershave), elfternoon (afternoon), elfterglow (afterglow), elfterthought (afterthought) and elfterlife (afterlife). Note: an aficionado is a lover of a certain activity. If something is bonafide, then it’s genuine and real.
  • *ef* → *elf*: As in, “For your benelfit,” and “For future relference,” and “Conditioned relflex,” and “Relflect badly on,” and “Delfault back on,” and “Cultural artelfacts.” Other words that could work: nelfarious (nefarious), delfer (defer), benelfactor (benefactor), delfamation (defamation), delfence (defence), prelfer (prefer), delfeat (defeat), delfinition (definition), delfine (define), delfinitely (definitely), benelficial (beneficial), delfiant (defiant) and delficit (deficit). Notes: a benefactor is one that provides help or advantages.
  • If → Elf: As in, “As elf there was no tomorrow,” and “As elf,” and “Elf I do say so myself,” and “Elf looks could kill,” and “Elf need be,” and “Elf nothing else,” and “Elf only,” and “Elf the shoe fits,” and “No elfs or buts,” and “Elf it’s the last thing I do,” and “Elf it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.”
  • Of → Elf: As in, “15 minutes elf fame,” and “A life elf its own,” and “Ahead elf one’s time,” and “At the top elf one’s lungs,” and “Bag elf tricks,” and “Barrel elf laughs,” and “Best elf both worlds,” and “Best elf the bunch,” and “Beyond the call elf duty,” and “Blink elf an eye,” and “Bored out elf your mind,” and “Bundle elf joy,” and “Breath elf fresh air,” and “By the skin elf your teeth,” and “By no stretch elf the imagination,” and “Chip elf the old block,” and “Figure elf speech.”
  • *of* → *elf*: As in, “A paid prelfessional,” and “Favourite prelfessor,” and “Chosen prelfession,” and “Gaining prelfit (profit),” and “Prelfitable ventures,” and “Camelflage pants,” and “Prelfound thoughts,” and “Ecelfriendly and organic,” and “Elfentimes (oftentimes),” and “Bleeding prelfusely.” Note: profusely means in large amounts.
  • *av* → *elve*: As in, “An elverage result,” and “Elveant-garde art,” and “Causing an elvealanche,” and “List your elveailability,” and “Elvert your eyes,” and “All about the elveacado,” and “Elveoiding you,” and “Selveory snacks.” Other words that could work: elveatar (avatar), elvearice (avarice), carelvean (caravan), aggrelveate (aggravate), elverse (averse), elvenue (avenue), elvenge (avenge), elve-iation (aviation), elve-ian (avian), pelvelova (pavlova), elveow (avow), endelveor (endeavour). Notes: avant-garde means “cutting edge”. Avarice is greed, in particular for wealth or gain. To be averse is to dislike something. To endeavour is to make an effort.
  • *ev* → *elve*: As in, “A late delveloper,” and “Software delveloper,” and “Current elvents,” and “Turn of elvents,” and “Positive relveiews (reviews),” and “Hide the elveidence,” and “Hard elveidence,” and “Annual elvealuations,” and “Elveade conversation,” and “Looking elveasive,” and “Elveacuate the building,” and “A prelvealent issue,” and “Elven Steven,” and “Break elven,” and “Don’t get mad, get elven,” and “An elven chance,” and “Elven handed,” and “Elven in the best of times,” and “Elvery breath you take,” and “Elvery little bit helps,” and “Elverything under the sun,” and “Elvery one and his brother,” and “Thinking of you elveryday,” and “It’ll happen elventually,” and “The elvening news,” and “Elveil (evil) twin.”
  • *iv* → *elve/elf*: As in, “Feeling mot-elve-ated (motivated),” and “A fresh perspectelf,” and “Take the initiatelf,” and “It is imperatelf that…” Other words that could work: ambelfalent (ambivalent), derelfative (derivative), equelvealent (equivalent) and comprehenselve (comprehensive), elveory (ivory), frelveolous (frivolous), delveorce (divore), delveulge (divulge), relveulet (rivulet). Notes: to be ambivalent is to feel different, contradictory things at once.
  • *ov* → *elve*: As in, “Elvercome with emotion,” and “All elver (over) the show,” and “A bridge elver troubled water,” and “Get elver yourself,” and “A standing elveation,” and “A grave elversight (oversight),” and “The elverall scheme of things.” Other words that could work: elverlook (overlook), elversee (oversee), elverwhelm (overwhelm), elverlate (ovulate), elverride (override), elvert (overt), innelveation (innovation), pelvelova (pavlova) and supernelvea (supernova). Note: to be overt is to do something in secret or quietly.
  • Profit → Prophet: As in, “Paper prophet,” and “Prophet margin”, “Windfall prophets,” and “Turn a prophet.”
  • *oo → *Brew: Use words that rhyme with “brew” or have an “oo” sound, as in: “Everything I brew, I brew it for you”, “Brew away with”, “Brew me a favour,” and “You’re brewing my head in!” and “Brew or die”, “Brewberries (blueberries)”, “Out of the brew (blue)”, “Knock back a brew (few)”, “You will brew the day! (rue)”.
  • Beauty → Brewty: As in, “Brewty is only skin-deep”, “A thing of brewty is a joy forever”, “Brewty and the beast”, “Brewty is in the eye of the beholder”, “Brewty is truth”, “You’re brewtiful,” and “I need my brewty sleep”, “That’s the brewty of it”, and “The perception of brewty is a moral test”.
  • Bro* → Brew*: As in, “Am I my brewther’s keeper?”, “Big brewther is watching you”, “O brewther, where art thou?”, “Like a brewken record”, “A brewken vessel”, “That will definitely get us some brewnie points”, “Go for brewke,” and “Knit one’s eyebrews,” and “Raised eyebrews,” and “If it ain’t brewke, don’t fix it”, and “Brew, do you even lift?”
  • Dig → Diggory: As in, “As cold as a well diggory’s arse”, “Can you diggory it?”, and “Diggory deep”.
  • Digger → Diggory: As in, “Gold diggory.” 
  • Victor → Viktor: As in, “To the viktor goes the spoils”, “Viktor viktoria,” and “Snatch viktor-y from the jaws of defeat”, “Viktor-y at sea”, and “V for viktor-y!” Also works for “victories” (viktor-ies) and “victorious” (viktor-ious).
  • Crumb → Krum: As in, “A trail of breadkrums,” and “Cake krums,” and “That’s the way the cookie krumbles.”
  • Crummy → Krummy: As in, “These are some truly krummy puns”. 
  • Rum → Krum: As in, “Yo ho ho and a bottle of krum!”
  • Fulcrum → Fulkrum: As in, “A lack of shame is the fulkrum of the pun community”.  (Note: A fulcrum is a pivot or point which supports the whole).
  • Desire → Erised: As in, “A streetcar named Erised,” and “Burning erised,” and “Heart’s erised,” and “Leaves a lot to be derised,” and “Object of erised.” 
  • Creature → Kreacher: As in, “All kreachers great and small”, “Kreacher comforts”, “Kreacher of habit”, and “Not a kreacher was stirring”, and “Kreacher of the night”.
  • Strange → Lestrange: As in, “Doctor Lestrangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb”, “Don’t be a lestranger,” and “I’m a lestranger here myself”, “Perfect lestranger,” and “Lestrange bedfellows”, “Lestranger danger”, “Lestranger than fiction”, “Lestranger things have happened”, “How lestrange,” and “Truth is lestranger than fiction”.
  • Estranged → Lestranged: As in, “This is my lestranged wife”. (Note: Estranged means to become separated from (or to become a stranger)).
  • Luna*: Emphasise words that start with “Luna”: “It’s luna-cy!” and “Full of luna-tics.”
  • Purse → Percy: As in, “The public percy,” and “Hold the percy strings”, “I percy-ed my lips”, and “Lighten someone’s percy.”
  • Afraid → A-Fred: As in, “‘Fred not, little bro”, and “Be a-fred! Be very a-fred!”
  • Gorgeous → George-ous: As in, “Drop dead george-ous.” 
  • Agog → Aragog: As in, “They were all aragog.”
  • Dear → Deer: Reference Harry Potter’s parents in your wordplay by replacing “dear” with “deer”, as in: “After you, my deer,” and “Deerly beloved”, “Elementary, my deer Watson,” “Frankly my deer, I don’t give a damn”, “Hang on for deer life”, “Nearest and deerest,” and “Oh deer,” and “You are very deer to me.”
  • Marauder → Maraudeer: As in, “James was one of the founders of the Maraudeer’s Map.” (Note: A marauder is someone who roams about looking for adventure and plunder).
  • Ridiculous → Riddikulus: As in, “From the sublime to the riddikulus,” and “How riddikulus!”
  • Squirrel → S-quirrell: As in, “S-quirrelled away”, “A real s-quirrelly guy”. 
  • Umbrage → Umbridge: As in, “She took umbridge at his remarks about You-Know-Who”. (Note: Umbrage can mean a few things, but in this case it means to a feeling of offence and annoyance).
  • Mundungus: Meaning both a very foul-smelling tobacco, and the name of a character in Harry Potter (Mundungus Fletcher). Use them and their meanings interchangeably. 
  • Achoo → Accio: Replace a normal sneezing sound with the famous incantation for a summoning charm.
  • Augment → Aguamenti: As in, “Aguamenti’d reality.” (Note: To augment something is to increase it).
  • Apparent → Apparate: As in, “Apparately space isn’t the final frontier”, and “Heir apparate.”
  • Stupefy: This is both a spell in Harry Potter and an actual word in real life (meaning to stun or daze – which is what the spell does). Make some jokes by playing around with their meanings. 
  • Silence → Silencio: Replace the word “silence” with “silencio” (the silence-inducing spell) in these silence-related phrases: “Conspiracy of silencio,” and “Deafening silencio,” and “Lapse into silencio,” and “Radio silencio,” and “Silencio is golden”, “The silencio of the lambs”, “The sound of silencio,” and “The silencio was deafening” and “Wall of silencio.” 
  • Alert → Gellert: As in, “Intruder gellert!”, “On red gellert” and, “Gellert the masses!”
  • Friends → Firenze: As in, “Best firenze forever”, “Best of firenze,” and “Champagne for my real firenze, real pain for my sham firenze,” and “Circle of firenze,” and “False firenze,” and “Firenze with benefits”, “How to win firenze and influence people”, “Keep your firenze close and enemies closer”, “That’s what firenze are for”, “Firenze in high places”, and “Say hello to my little firenze.” There are way more friends puns to be made (hello Friends/Harry Potter crossover puns!) but I’ll let you get creative with those. 
  • Flying: Use these flying-related phrases in the right context – “Flying without wings”, “Flying blind”, “Flying high”, “Get off to a flying start”, “Passed with flying colours”, and “The flying dutchman”.
  • Pensive → Pensieve: As in, “You’re looking very pensieve today”. 
  • Penny* → Pensieve*: Use words that have “Penny” in them to make pensieve-related puns, like so: “Pensieve (penny) for your thoughts?”, and “We’re going to Pensieve-ania (Pennsylvania)”.  
  • *pensive/pansive → *pensieve: As in, “Inexpensieve. And built to stay that way”, “Reassuringly expensieve,” and “These city views are expensieve (expansive).” 
  • Bomb: Change bomb-related phrases to make dungbomb puns: “Dungbomb out”, “Doctor Strangelove or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Dungbomb,” and “Drop a dungbombshell,” and “Looks like a dungbomb hit it”, “Box office dungbomb,” and “Drop a dungbomb,” and “Sit on a time dungbomb.”
  • Swamp → Swhomp: Reference the whomping willow by changing words with the “omp” sound. As in, “It’s smelling a bit swhompy (swampy) in here”. 
  •  Squib: Squib is a homophone with a few different meanings (an explosive, a short, witty piece of writing, or a sketched concept) – take advantage of these and make some new puns by swapping their meanings around. 
  • Newt: Newts have got three meanings here – the first is a lizard which exists in the real world, the second is a magical creature which exists in the Harry Potter world, and the third is the acryonym (N.E.W.Ts) for wizarding exams. Take advantage of these multiple meanings to make some magic puns. 
  • Fuddy-duddy → Fuddy-Dudley (A reference to Harry Potter’s cousin Dudley Dursley).
  • Vermin → Vernon: As in, “What’s the difference between pests and vernon?”
  • Fudge: As in, “Let’s not fudge the issue”. 
  • Locket → Lockhart: As in, “A shining, golden lockhart.” 
  • Century → Centaur-y: As in, “Sale of the centaur-y,” and “Turn of the centaur-y.”
  • *veal → *veela: Replace the “veal” sound in words with “veela”, like so: “I refuse to reveela my sources”, and “Veela (veal) is unethical”.   
  • Luscious → Lucius: As in, “Look at Rapunzel’s lucius tresses”. 
  • Crucial → Crucio’l: As in, “It is crucio’l that we get all of these puns in as many conversations as possible”. 
  • Legitimate → Legilimens: As in, “This document is legilimens,” and “My dearly beloved illegilimens child”. 
  • Maximum → Maxime-um: Reference Madam Maxime in your Potter puns: “Maxime-um potential!” and “I am putting maxime-al effort into these lame puns”, “I am a maxime-alist,” and “I am ready to see some maxime-isation.”
  • I love her → Oliver: A self-explanatory reference to Oliver Wood. “You can’t keep us apart! Oliver!”
  • Olive → Oliver: As in, “They extended an oliver branch of peace”.
  • *row → *robe: Use words that have the “row” sound in them to make some robe puns, as in: “Robe-ot” (robot), “Robe-ust” (robust), “Robe-oat” (rowboat), “Aerobeic” (aerobic), “Bathrobe”, “Microbe”, “Probe”, and “Wardrobe”. There are many other “row/robe” words, so be creative! 
  • Regular → Regulus: As in, “As regulus as clockwork”, “Just a regulus guy”, and “On a regulus basis”. Also works for “irregular” – as in, “Highly irregulus.” 
  • Roman → Ronan: As in “A ronan holiday”, and “When in Rome, do as the ronans.”
  • Bane:  As in, “The bane of my life”. 
  • Wink → Winky: As in, “Forty winkys,” and “I have not slept a single winky,” “Nudge nudge, winky winky,” and “In the winky of an eye”.
  • Mango → Mungo: As in, “I have a mungo tree in my garden”, and “This sorbet is mungo flavoured”.
  • Mung → Mungo: As in, “These mungo beans are very sweet”.
  • Imperial → Imperio: As in, “Cultural imperio-lism,” and “The imperio summer palace”.
  • Gobblin’ → Goblin: As in, “Goblin down breakfast and showing no signs of slowing down”. 
  • *ware → *were: Make some werewolf references by replacing “ware” sounds with the “were” spelling: “I was una-were,” and “I am well a-were,” “Are you going to were that?” 
  • Cold Run → Cauldron: As in, “I woke up at five this morning for some cardio training. It made for a very cauldron.” 
  • Called Ron → Cauldron: As in, “Why isn’t he replying? I swear I cauldron yesterday”, and “Why does Harry Potter get confused between a mixing pot and his best friend? Because they’re both cauldron.”  
  • B*tch → Snitch: Make your cusswords kid-friendly with this replacement. As in, “Snitchfest,” and “Snitch slap”, “Flip a snitch,” and “Life’s a snitch and then you die”, “Payback’s a snitch,” and “Rich snitch,” and “The snitch is back”, “Basic snitch,” and “Snitchin’,” and “Resting snitch face”, and “I got 99 problems and a snitch ain’t one”.
  • Stitch → Snitch: As in, “A snitch in time saves nine”, “Has us in snitches,” and “Not a snitch on”, and “Pick up snitches.” 
  • Snatch → Snitch: As in, “Body snitcher,” and “Cradle snitcher,” and “Snitched away”, and “Snitching victory from the jaws of defeat”. 
  • Sellotape → Spellotape: As in, “Please hand me the spellotape.” 
  • Ear: Change ear-related phrases to make some extendable ear puns, like so: “All extendable ears,” and “Coming out of your extendable ears,” and “Fall on deaf extendable ears,” and “Music to my extendable ears,” and “My extendable ears were burning”, “Out of extendable earshot” and “Friends, Romans, countrymen, lend me your extendable ears” and “Grin from extendable ear to extendable ear” and “Have your extendable ears chewed off”, “I’m all extendable ears,” and “In one extendable ear and out the other”. There are plenty of other ear-related phrases out there, so be creative.
  • Riddle: Some riddle-related phrases: “A riddle wrapped up in an enigma”, “Riddle me this”, “His excuse was riddled with holes”, and “What a riddler.”
  • Water: Change water-related phrases to make gillywater puns. There are many more than what we’ve listed here, so be creative: “As dull as gillywater,” and “Blood is thicker than gillywater,” and “Bridge over troubled gillywater,” and “Come hell or high gillywater,” and “Dead in the gillywater,” and “In hot gillywater,” and “Just add gillywater,” and “Like a duck to gillywater,” and “Like a fish out of gillywater,” and “Like gillywater off a duck’s back”, “Muddy the gillywaters,” and “Oil and gillywater don’t mix”, “Still gillywaters run deep”, “Throw the baby out with the gillywater,” and “You can lead a horse to gillywater but you can’t make it drink”.
  • Fire: Change fire-related phrases to make firewhisky puns: “All firewhisky’d up and ready to go!”, “Ball of firewhisky,” and “Baptism of firewhisky,” and “Breathe firewhisky,” and “Come on baby light my firewhisky,” and “Fight fire with firewhisky,” and “Firewhisky and brimstone”, Get on like a house on firewhisky,” and “Light a firewhisky under him”, “Play with firewhisky,” and “Ring of firewhisky” and “Where’s the firewhisky?”
  • Fire → Gubraithian Fire: As in, “Ball of gubraithian fire”, “Baptism of gubraithian fire”, “Breathe gubraithian fire”, “Come on baby light my gubraithian fire”, “Come home to a real gubraithian fire”, “Fight fire with gubraithian fire”, “Out of the frying pan, into the gubraithian fire”, “Ring of gubraithian fire”, and “Set the world on gubraithian fire”. There are many more fire-related phrases, so be creative. 
  • Rock: Change rock-related phrases to make rock cake puns: “As hard as a rock cake,” and “Solid as a rock cake,” and “Between a rock cake and a hard place”, “Get your rock cakes off”, and “In a world surrounded by windows, we’re handing out rock cakes.”
  • Cake: Change cake-related phrases to make rock cake puns: “As nutty as a rock cake,” and “Icing on the rock cake,” and “Let them eat rock cake,” and “Piece of rock cake,” and “Selling like rock cakes,” and “Takes the rock cake,” and “The cherry on the rock cake,” and “You can’t have your rock cake and eat it too”.
  • Disparate → Disapparate: As in, “They occupy disapparate worlds”. (Note: Disparate means divided or separate).
  • Pinch → Splinch: As in, “In a splinch,” and “Penny splinching,” and “Splinch, punch, for the first day of the month”, and “Take with a splinch of salt”. 
  • Heck → Hex: As in, “For the hex of it”, and “Oh, hex!”
  • Exception → Hexception: As in, “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an hexception,” and “There’s an hexception to every rule.” 
  • Checks → C-hex: As in, “C-hex and balances.”
  • Confound → Confundus: Works especially well if it’s “confound us” instead of just “confound”, like so – “Heck! That will confundus!”
  • Engorge → Engorgio: As in, “Wow. Look at that thing engorgio.” 
  • Impervious → Impervius: As in, “This cup really is impervius to heat”. 
  • Repair → Reparo: As in, “It’s beyond reparo,” and “Running reparos,” or “In bad need of reparo.” 
  • Reproduce → Reparo-duce: As in, “Do you think you could reparo-duce this drawing?”
  • Obscure → Obscuro: As in, “That topic is pretty obscuro,” and “My view is obscuro’d.”
  • Protein → Protean: As in, “This protean shake is delicious!”
  • Quiet → Quietus: As in, “All quietus on the Western front”, “Anything for a quietus life”, “As quietus as a mouse”, “Quietus before the storm”, and “So quietus you could hear a pin drop”. 
  • Quiet us → Quietus: As in, “How dare they think they can quietus? We will never stop sharing puns!” 
  • Demented → Dementor’d: As in, “They were dementor’d with worry”. 
  • Impediment → Impedimenta: As in, “You’re impedimenta-ing me!”, and “A speech impedimenta.”
  • Cuppa → Kappa: As in, “Would you like a kappa tea?” 
  • Reduce → Reducio: As in, “In reducio’d circumstances”, and “Reducio to tears”. 
  • Sonorous → Sonoros: As in, “They read aloud with a sonoros and musical voice”.
  • Evanescence → Evanesco-nce: As in, “Evanesco-nce has nice vocals”. (Note: Evanescence means to be in a vanishing state).
  • Relationship → Relashio-nship: As in, “Love-hate relashio-nship,” and “A good working relashio-nship.”
  • Relation → Relashio-n: As in, “Special relashio-ns,” and “My family relashio-n.”
  • Inferior → Inferi-or: As in, “Inferi-ority complex”.
  • Crap → Crup: As in, “A load of crup,” and “Bunch of crup,” and “Cut the crup,” and “The crupper,” and “Do bears crup in the woods?” and “You scared the crup out of me!” 
  • *rupt → Crup’t: Mix “crup” into words with the “rupt” sound in them – “crup’t” (corrupt), “intercrup’t” (interrupt), “discrup’t” (disrupt)
  • Crop → Crup: As in, “Cream of the crup,” and “I was crupped out of that photo!” “Crup up”, and “Bumper crup.”
  • Know him → Gnome: As in, “Do you gnome? He looked familiar.”
  • Sniff → S’niffler: As in, “S’niffler out the truth” and “S-niffler test”.
  • Sinks → Sphinx: As in, “My heart sphinx..”
  • Gargle → Nargle: As in, “Take this, and nargle this”. 
  • Marrow → Merrow: As in, “Frozen to the merrow.” 
  • Silky → Selkie: As in, “Selkie smooth”.
  • Private → Privet: As in, “My privet hell”, “Her privet life”, “Privet parts”, and “Privet eye”. 
  • Zonked → Zonko’d: As in, “She’s really zonko’d out after all that studying”. 
  • Pussyfoot → Puddifoot: As in, “Puddifoot around”.
  • Diagonally → Diagon Alley: As in, “As you can see, this slopes diagon alley.” 
  • *uell → Quill: Replace the “uell” sound in words with “quill”. As in, “Extra teachers were called in to quill (quell) the disturbance”, “I haven’t seen the prequill” (prequel), “But I have seen the sequill” (sequel).
  • *kil → *quill: Replace the “kil/kill” sound in words with “quill” – “Quill” (kill), “Aquill-es heel” (achilles heel), “Quillometre” (kilometre), “Quillpatrick” (kilpatrick), “Squillet” (skillet), “Squillful” (skillful), and “Painquillers,” (painkillers).
  • Ill → Quill: As in, “Quill advised”, “Quill at ease”, “Quill effects”, “Quill fated”, Quill gotten gains”, “Quill repute”, “Quill temper”, “Quill will”, and “Never speak quill of the dead”.
  • *wil → *quill: Use words that have a “wil” sound in them to make quill-related puns: “Bequillder” (bewilder), “Qwilt” (wilt), “Tranquill” (tranquil), “I quill,” (I will), “Unquill,” (until), “Quill-t” (quilt), “Unquilling” (unwilling), “House of quill repute” (ill), “Quillderness” (wilderness), “Quilling” (willing). Keep in mind that there are plenty more words with the “wil” sound, and that this will also work for other forms of the words provided (like bewilder, bewildered, bewildering).
  • Names with *wil: As above, look for words with the “wil” sound in them, but this time specifically for names. As in: “Jacquillyn” (Jacquelyn), “Quillbur” (Wilbur), “Quillbert” (Wilbert), “Quillberforce” (Wilberforce), “Quillhelmina” (Wilhelmina), “Quilliam” (William).
  • Key → Portkey: As in, “A golden portkey can open any door”, “Fear is the portkey,” “Portkey to your heart”, “Lock them up and throw away the portkey,” “Skeleton portkey,” “Portkeys to the kingdom”, and “Under lock and portkey.”
  • Porky → Portkey: As in, “He’s telling portkey pies!”
  • Time → Time-turner: As in, “Ahead of his time-turner,” “Been around the block a few time-turners,” and “Buy some time-turners.”
  • Butter → Butterbeer: As in, “Bread and butterbeer,” and “Butterbeer fingers”, and “Butterbeer wouldn’t melt in her mouth”.
  • Butterfly → Butterbeer: As in, “I have butterbeer in my stomach”, “The butterbeer effect”, “Social butterbeer,” and “Float like a butterbeer, sting like a bee”.
  • Beer → Butterbeer: As in, “Butterbeer belly”, “Butterbeer goggles”, “Champagne tastes on a butterbeer budget”, “Cry into your butterbeer”, “I’m only here for the butterbeer”, “If you’ve got the time, we’ve got the butterbeer”, “Life’s not all butterbeer and skittles”, and “Hold my butterbeer!”
  • Death → Death Eater: As in, “Death Eaters on the Orient Express”, “Give me liberty or give me death eaters,” and “Nothing is certain but death eaters and taxes”, and “Till death eater do us part”.  
  • Beat → Beater: As in, “Beater ’round the bush”. 
  • *eater → *beater: Change words with the “eeter” sound to make beater puns. As in, “Where’s the b-eatery? (eatery)”, “Beater-nal sunshine (eternal)”, and “For all beater-nity (eternity)”.
  • Beetroot → Beateroot: As in, “As red as a beateroot.”
  • Bitter → Beater: As in, “A beater pill to swallow”, “The beater end”, “Sugarcoat a beater pill”, and “Beatersweet.”
  • Better → Beater: As in, “A beater idea”, “Anything you can do, I can do beater,” and “Appeal to your beater judgement”, “Beater half”, “Beater late than never”, “Beater luck next time”, “Beater safe than sorry”, “Beater than a poke in the eye with a sharp stick”, “Beater than new”, “Beater the devil you know”, “Beater you than me”, “Change for the beater,” and “Couldn’t have said it beater,” and “Get the beater of”, “Should have known beater,” and “Kiss it beater.” There are many more phrases with the word “better”, so look around and be creative!  
  • *flu → *floo: Change words with the “flu” sound in them to make floo powder puns: “One floo over the cuckoo’s nest”, “The last one floo away”, “Whistle and floote (flute)”, “Under the inflooence (influence)”, “He’s got the floo (flu)”, and “My floo (flue) needs fixing”. 
  • Gaunt: Reference Voldemort’s family with these gaunt-related phrases: “Run the gauntlet,” and “Take up the gauntlet.”
  • Daunt → Gaunt: As in, “A gaunting prospect”, “Ungaunted, she carried on”.
  • Spew → S.P.E.W: As in, “S.P.E.W your guts”, and “It S.P.E.Wed all over the floor”.  
  • Pick → Pixie: We’ve compiled some pixie-related puns and phrases for you here: “Pixie on someone your own size,” and “A bone to pixie,” and “Pixie a fight,” and “Pixie and choose,” and “Pixie of the bunch,” and “Pixie up the pieces,” and “Pixie me up.”
  • *pic → *pixie: As in, “An epixie adventure,” and “Off-topixie,” and “Myopixie (myopic) decisions,” and “Philantropixie actions.” Note: myopic means short-sighted. Philanthropic means for public good.
  • *pac* → *pixie*: As in, “Beyond capixiety (capacity),” and “Lower the opixiety (opacity).”
  • Pixel* → Pixie*: As in, “Pixie perfect,” and “Pixielated,” and “20 megapixies,” and “Blurry and pixielated.”
  • *partment → *parchment: As in, “They’re not from our deparchment (department)”, “Would you like to come upstairs to my aparchment (apartment)?”, and “It’s in the wrong comparchment (compartment)”. 
  • Stone → Gobstone: As in, “A rolling gobstone gathers no moss”, “As cold as any gobstone,” and “Carved in gobstone,” and “Dropped like a gobstone,” and “Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Gobstone,” and “Heart of gobstone,” and “Hellfire and gobstone,” and “Leave no gobstone unturned”, “People who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw gobstones,” and “Sticks and gobstones may break my bones”, “Cast the first gobstone,” and “You cannot get blood from a gobstone.” 
  • Fire → Firebolt: As in, “Come on baby light my firebolt,” and “Come home to a real firebolt,” and “Fight fire with firebolt.”
  • Borrow → Burrow: As in, “Beg, burrow or steal”, “Living on burrowed time”, “Don’t burrow trouble”, and “Something old, something new, something burrowed, something blue”. 
  • Ditch → Quidditch: As in, “A last quidditch effort”. 
  • Chocolate: Change chocolate-related phrases to make chocolate frog puns: “As queer as a chocolate frog,” and “Death by chocolate frog” and “Life is like a box of chocolate frogs.”
  • Nimble → Nimbus: As in, “Jack be nimbus, Jack be quick”. 
  • Imbecile → Nimbusile: As in, “You giant nimbusile!”
  • Dribble → Drooble: As in, “You’re droobleing everywhere!”
  • Quadruple → Quadrooble: As in, “This is quadrooble the price the last time I visited”.
  • Blaze → Blaise: Make some Quidditch puns by referencing Blaise Zabini – “As cold as blue Blaises,” and “Blaise a trail”, “Go out in a Blaise of glory”, “Go to Blaises!” and “Why the Blaises…?” and “It was set a-blaise.” 
  • Beetle → Beedle: As in, “Beedlejuice,” and “What a beautiful beedle.” 

Harry Potter-Related Words

To help you come up with your own Harry Potter wordplay, here’s a list of Harry Potter-related words to get you started. If you come up with any new puns, please feel free to share them in the comments!

Since there are so many words that are related to Harry Potter and his literary universe, we’ve split this section up into little sub-categories for your ease of use.

Book Titles: The Philosopher’s Stone, The Chamber of Secrets, The Prisoner of Azkaban, The Triwizard Tournament, The Order of the Phoenix, The Half-Blood Prince, The Deathly Hallows

General: witch, wizard, magic, The Boy Who Lived, Undesirable No. 1, the Master of Death, lightning scar, the Boy Who Lied, Potty, Potty Wee Potter, wizarding wireless network, owl post, muggle, squib, mudblood, pureblood,halfblood

Houses: Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, Slytherin, house cup, sorting hat, common room, dormitory, great hall, head of house, house ghost, mascot, head boy, head girl, badger, lion, eagle, serpent

Characters and Names: Harry Potter, Voldemort, Tom Marvolo Riddle, Lily Potter, James Potter, Albus Dumbledore, Severus Snape, Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy, Minerva McGonagall, Mad-Eye Moody, Ludo Bagman, Bathilda Bagshot, Phineas Black, Sirius Black, Lavender Brown, Cho Chang, Penelope Clearwater, Vincent Crabbe, Gregory Goyle, Ginny Weasley, Colin Creevey, Fleur Delacour, Cedric Diggory, Remus Lupin, Aberforth Dumbledore, Dudley Dursley, Marge Dursley, Petunia Dursley, Vernon Dursley, Arabella/Mrs. Figg, Argus Filch, Peeves, Mundungus Fletcher, Professor Flitwick, Cornelius Fudge, Marvolo Gaunt, Gregorovitch, Ollivander, Fenrir Greyback, Gellert Grindelwald, Professor Grubbly-Plank, Godric Gryffindor, Rubeus Hagrid, Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot, Prongs, Madam Hooch, Mafalda Hopkirk, Angelina Johnson, Lee Jordan, Professor Karkaroff, Viktor Krum, Bellatrix Lestrange, Gilderoy Lockhart, Neville Longbottom, Luna Lovegood, Lucius Malfoy, Narcissa Malfoy, Madam Malkin, Griselda Marchbanks, Madam Maxime, Ernie Macmillan, Pansy Parkinson, Padma Patil, Parvati, Peter Pettigrew, Scabbers, Peverell brothers, Madam Pince, Madam Pomfrey, Professor Quirrell, Helena Ravenclaw, The Bloody Baron, Rowena Ravenclaw, Demelza Robins, Rookwood, Newt Scamander, Rufus Scrimgeour, Kingsley Shacklebolt, Stan Shunpike, Rita Skeeter, Horace Slughorn, Salazar Slytherin, Alicia Spinnet, Professor Sprout, Dean Thomas, Nymphadora Tonks, Sybill Trelawney, Dolores Umbridge, Emmeline Vance, Romilda Vane, Moaning Myrtle, Arthur Weasley, Molly Weasley, Bill Weasley, Charlie Weasley, Percy Weasley, Fred Weasley, George Weasley, Oliver Wood, Blaise Zabini, Aragog, Bane, Beedle the Bard, Bogrod, Buckbeak, Sir Cadogan, Crookshanks, Dobby, Errol, Fang (the boarhound), The Fat Friar, The Fat Lady, Fawkes, Firenze, Fluffy, Griphook, Grawp, Hedwig, Kreacher, Regulus Black, Magorian, Nagini, Nearly Headless Nick, Norbert/Norberta, Pigwidgeon, Madam Rosmerta, Ronan, Scabbers, Trevor, Winky, Celestina Warbeck, Nicolas Flamel, Scabbers

Spells/Magic: transfiguration, spell, defence against the dark arts, charms, potions, astronomy, history of magic, herbology, flying, arithmancy, muggle studies, divination, ancient runes, care of magical creatures, alchemy, unbreakable vow, priori incantatem, aberto, accio, age line, aguamenti, alarte ascendare, alohomora, anapneo, aparecium, apparate, aqua eructo, arania exumai, arresto momentum, ascendio, avada kedavra, avis, metamorphmagus, patronus, unforgivable curse, imperio, crucio, amortentia,  wolfsbane, parseltongue, dark mark, dark magic, seer, prophecy, legilimency, occlumency, legilimens, occlumens, disapparate, splinching, caterwauling charm, jinx, hex, curse, inferiusm episkey, refula, tergeo, vulnera sanentur, sectumsempra, reparifors, skele-gro, pepperup potion, dr. ubbly, phoenix tears, dragon pox, spattergroit, mumblemumps, scrofungulus, oblivate, locomotor, locomotor mortis, maxima, lumos, confundus, petrificus totalus, protego, stupefy, wingardium leviosa, levioso, revelio, n.e.w.t, o.w.l, bubble-head charm, cheering charm, felix felicis, tarantallegra, expelliarmus, dissendium, engorgio, incendio, fidelius charm, glisseo, duro, homonculus charm, hover charm, illegibilus, impertubable charm, impervius, colloportus, locomotor, reparo, mobiliarbus, mobilicorpus, muffliato, obscuro, oculus reparo, protean charm, quietus, riddikulus, scourgify, diffindo, reducio, silencio, sonoros, stupefy, tergeo, rictusempra, waddiwasi, finestra, evanesco, sherbet lemon, confringo, conjunctivitis curse, expulso, morsmordre, bat-bogey hex, impedimenta, liberacorpus, oppugno, relashio

Magical Beings: dementors, merpeople, goblin, acromantula, basilisk, pixie, werewolf, troll, dragon, giant, thestral, boggart, owl, centaur, house-elf, unicorn, phoenix, hippogriff, leprechaun, animagi, banshee, veela, blast-ended skrewt, manticore, inferi, bowtruckle, chimaera, doxy, hungarian horntail, norwegian ridgeback, swedish short-snout, fairy, flobberworm, ghoul, giant squid, gnome, griffin, grindylow, hinkypunk, imp, kappa, kneazle, murtlap, niffler, puffskein, pygmy puff, sphinx, poltergesit, bicorn, cockatrice, blibbering humdinger, crunple-horned snorkack, freshwater plimpies, heliopath, nargle, wrackspurt,  obscurus, crup, merrow, selkie, siren, red cap, salamander

Places/Locations: Hogwarts, Beauxbatons, Durmstrang, castle, Forbidden Forest, Black Lake, Owlery, Astronomy Tower, Room of Requirement, Shrieking Shack, Leaky Cauldron, Privet Drive, Ministry of Magic, Hogwart’s Express, Hogsmeade, the Burrow, Zonko’s Joke Shop, The Hog’s Head, The Three Broomsticks, Honeyduke’s Platform 9-3/4, Diagon Alley, Eeylops Owl Emporium, Florean Fortescue’s Ice Cream Parlour, Flourish and Blotts, Gringotts, Madam Malkin’s, Godric’s Hollow, Number 12 Grimmauld Place, Hagrid’s Hut, Knockturn Alley, Borgin and Burkes, Little Hangleton, House of Gaunt, Riddle Manor, Malfoy Manor, Shell Cottage, Spinner’s End, St. Mungo’s Hospital, Azkaban, Little Whinging, Dervish and Banges, Gladrag’s Wizardwear, Scrivenshaft’s Quill Shop, Madam Puddifoot’s, Nurmengard

Food and Drink: Bertie Bott’s Every Flavour Beans, butterbeer, sugar quills, Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum, chocolate frogs, pumpkin pasties, cauldron cakes, liquorice wands, pepper imps, jelly slugs, fizzing whizbees, cockroach cluster, fudge flies, acid pop, gillywater, firewhisky, rock cake

Items/Objects: sickle, galleon, knut, wand, robe, familiar, howler, put-outer, unicorn hair, phoenix feather, dragon heartstring, invisibility cloak, marauder’s map, elder wand, resurrection stone, horcrux, foe-glass, probity probe, remembrall, revealer, secrecy sensor, sneakoscope, Mirror of Erised, whiz-bangs, skiving snackboxes, nosebleed nougat, fainting fancies, fever fudge, blood blisterpods, puking pastilles, headless hat, trick wand, ton-tongue toffee, canary cream, u-no-poo, extendable ears, decoy detonator, dungbombs, pensieve, Whomping Willow, broomsticks, floo powder, Knight Bus, portkeys, time-turner, quill, parchment, cauldron, gubraithian fire, omnioculars, spellotape

Plants: bubotuber, devil’s snare, dittany, dirigible plum, fanged geranium, flitterbloom, flutterby bush, gillyweed, gurdyroot, honking daffodil, mandrake, abyssinian shrivelfig, bouncing bulb, mimbulus mimbletonia, puffapod, screechsap, venamous tentacula, whomping willow, sopophorous bean, belladonna, valerian, hellebore, hemlock, knotgrass 

Jobs: arithmancer, astronomer, auror, broom maker, curse-breaker, healer, herbologist, high inquisitor, gamekeeper, knight bus conductor, minister for magic, muggle relations, obliviator, potioneer, professor, unspeakable

Events: quidditch world cup, triwizard tournament, yule ball, house cup

Organisations: Dumbledore’s Army, Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes, Gellert Grindelwald’s Army, Inquisitorial Squad, International Confederation of Wizards, Death Eaters, Order of the Phoenix, Weird Sisters, the Daily Prophet, S.P.E.W

Games and Toys: Quidditch, exploding snap, duelling, gobstones, headless hunt, wizard skittles, wizard’s chess, fanged frisbee, toy broomstick, screaming yo-yo

Quidditch: quidditch, chaser, beater, keeper, seeker, quaffle, bludger, golden snitch, broomstick, Nimbus 2000, Nimbus 2001, Firebolt

Related works: Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them, Quidditch Through the Ages, The Tales of Beedle the Bard, Pottermore, The Cursed Child, Hogwarts: An Incomplete and Unreliable Guide, A Very Potter Musical, Potter Puppet Pals

Fandoms: Harry Potter Alliance, The Leaky Cauldron, MuggleNet, LeakyCon, Wizard Rock, Wrockstock, My Immortal

Meta: J.K Rowling, Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton, Matthew Lewis, Maggie Smith

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Bird Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on bird puns! 🐦 Happily, there are quite a few bird puns in the list below, mostly thanks to the many different species and families of birds whose names lend themselves well to wordplay. Hope you find this entry useful!

Note: Pigeon puns, seagull puns and parrot puns will get their own entry at some point, but there are a few of them in this list for completeness.

Bird Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about birds that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s the list of bird puns:

  • Bird: There are quite a few phrases/idioms related to birds which can be used as puns in the right context: “A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush” and “A bird-brain” and “Bird’s eye view” and “A little bird told me …” and “An early bird” and “Early bird gets the worm” and “Like a bird in a gilded cage” and “The birds and the bees” and “Birds of a feather flock together” and “Flip someone the bird” and “Free as a bird” and “The bird has flown” and “Sing like a bird” and “Jailbird“.
  • Woman → Bird: Depending on where you’re from, the term “bird” may be slang for “woman”.
  • Fly: There are a few phrases related to flying which can be used as bird puns in the right context: “Fly by the seat of your pants” and “Fly in the face of the evidence” and “Fly off the shelves” and “A fly on the wall” and “Fly by night” and “On the fly” and “Pigs might fly” and “Let fly” and “Watch the sparks fly” and “Fly in the ointment” and “Fly into a rage” and “Fly off the handle” and “Fly the coop” and “I’ve gotta fly” and “Fly the white flag” and “Wouldn’t hurt a fly
  • Fry → Fly: As in, “Bigger fish to fly,” and “Out of the flying pan, into the fire,” and “Small fly.” Note: to be out of the frying pan and into the fire means to have escaped one situation only to be caught up in a worse one.
  • Feather: There are a few phrases related to feathers: “As light as a feather” and “In full feather” and “Feather in your cap (symbol of honour/achievement)” and “Feather one’s nest” and “Ruffle (a few/someone’s) feathers” and “You could have knocked me down with a feather
  • Father → Feather: As in “The founding feathers” and “Like feather, like son”.
  • Further → Feather: As in “Without feather ado” and “Look no feather” and “Kick the can feather down the road”
  • Beak: “To wet one’s beak” and “beak” may be slang for nose in some places.
  • Peek → Beak: As in “Beak-a-boo” and “Sneak beak“.
  • Peak → Beak: As in “Beak performance” and “They climbed to the beak
  • Wing: “Left wing / right wing” and “Let’s just wing it” and “Take under your wing” and “Clip someone’s wings” and “Spread your wings
  • *wing: Make some turkey puns by emphasising the “wing” in certain words: swing, drawing, following, harrowing, brewing, growing, owing and knowing.
  • Wringer → Winger: As in, “Put through the winger.”
  • Win → Wing: As in, “Can’t wing for losing,” and “Due a wing,” and “Every one a winger,” and “Heads I wing, tails you lose,” and “How to wing friends and influence people,” and “It’s not the winging that counts, it’s the taking part,” and “It’s not whether you wing or lose; it’s how you play the game,” and “Play to wing,” and “Some you wing, some you lose,” and “Winger takes all.”
  • Whinge → Winge: As in, “Having a winge.”
  • Ring → Wing: As in, “Alarm bells began to wing,” and “A dead winger,” and “Doesn’t wing a bell,” and “Don’t wing us, we’ll wing you,” and “In the wing,” and “Wing of fire,” and “Run wings around,” and “Throw your hat into the wing,” and “Give them a wing,” and “My ears are winging,” and “Does that wing any bells?”
  • Tail: As in, “Happy as a dog with two tails,” and “Nervous as a long-tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs,” and “Bright eyed and busy tailed,” and “Can’t make head or tail of it,” and “Chase your own tail,” and “Two shakes of a lamb’s tail.” Note: two shakes of a lamb’s tail is a phrase used to indicated that something is very fast.
  • Tale → Tail: As in, “Dead men tell no tails,” and “Fairytail ending,” and “Live to tell the tail,” and “Never tell tails out of school,” and “An old wives’ tail,” and “Tattle tail,” and “Tell tail sign.”
  • Talent → Tailent: As in, “___’s got Tailent,” and “A tailented painter,” and “Where would you say your tailents lie?”
  • Toilet → Tailet: As in, “Down the tailet,” and “In the tailet.”
  • Style → Stail: As in, hairstail, freestail, lifestail, and stailus (stylus)
  • Tile → Tail: As in, fertail (fertile), percerntail (percentile), projectail (projectile), reptail (reptile), and versatail (versatile).
  • Clutch: Clutch has two meanings: to hold onto something tightly, and a group of eggs. We can make some egg puns using this: “A drowning person will clutch at a straw,” and “Pearl-clutcher.” Note: a pearl-clutcher is someone who is overly prudish.
  • Nest: “Leave the nest” and “Empty nest syndrome” and “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest” and “Love nest” and “Stir up a hornet’s nest” and “A nest of vipers” and “A mare’s nest” and “Nest together”. Notes: empty nest syndrome is the feeling of loneliness a parent may experience when their children move out for the first time. A mare’s nest is a state of confusion or chaos.
  • Next → Nest: As in “Nest minute …” and “Better luck nest time” and “Boy/girl nest door” and “Nest generation” and “Nest in line to the throne” and “Nest to nothing” and “Take it to the nest level” and “Nest to nothing” and “The nest big thing.” and “Cleanliness is nest to godliness” and “In nest to no time” and “Nest to nothing” and “One day chicken and the nest day feathers” and “Catch the nest wave” and “As ___ as the nest girl/guy”. Note: “One day chicken and the next day feathers” is a phrase indicating that things we consider valuable can be lost in no time at all (like a job, marriage, or a house etc).
  • Copy → Parrot: “Parroting (someone’s) words”.
  • Pirate → Parrot: As in “People who parroted the film via bit-torrent were being sent fines.”
  • Fowl: As in, “Neither fish nor fowl.” Note: this refers to something which is not easily categorised.
  • Foul → Fowl: As in “By fair means or fowl” and “Cry fowl” and “Fowl language” and “Fowl up” and “No harm, no fowl” and “A fowl-mouthed person” and “Fowl play”
  • Fell → Fowl: As in “In one fowl swoop” and “Little strokes fowl great oaks” and “The bottom fowl out of the market” and “She fowl asleep at the wheel” and “He fowl under her spell” and “It fowl into my lap” and “She fowl victim to the scammer”. Note: If something is done in one fell swoop, then it was done quickly and in one single action.
  • Fall → Fowl: As in, “A fowling out,” and “Easy as fowling off a log,” and “Bread always fowls butter side down,” and “Can’t help fowling in love,” and “Catch a fowling star,” and “Fowl about laughing,” and “Fowl between the cracks,” and “Fowl from grace,” and “Fowl into bad habits,” and “A fowlen angel,” and “Oh how the mighty have fowlen,” and “The bigger they are, the harder they fowl,” and “United we stand, divided we fowl.”
  • Vowel → Fowl: As in, “The owl without a fowl.” Note: this is a reference to Bill Mlkvy.
  • *fal* → *fowl*: As in, fowllacy (fallacy), fowlter (falter), fowlse (false), fowllout (fallout), buffowlo (buffalo), crestfowllen (crestfallen), defowlt (default), downfowl (downfall), fowlsetto (falsetto), fowlt (fault), fowlsify (falsify), freefowl (freefall), nightfowl (nightfall), waterfowl (waterfall).
  • Owl: “A night owl” and “As wise as an owl“.
  • I will → Owl: As in “Owl not give up.” and “Owl if you will” and “Owl wear my heart upon my sleeve”
  • All → Owl: As in “Free-for-owl” and “A jack of owl trades” and “A man for owl seasons” and “A rising tide lifts owl boats” and “After owl is said and done” and “A know-it-owl” and “Above owl” and “Against owl odds” and “Owl your eggs in one basket” and “Owl at once” and “I’m owl ears” and “Owl else being equal, …” and “Owl by my lonesome” and “Owl hands on deck” and “Owl hell breaks loose” and “Owl gone” and “Owl good things must come to an end” and “Owl in owl” and “Owl in a day’s work” and “It’s owl in your head” and “Owl manner of …” and “Owl of a sudden” and “Owl or nothing” and “Owl over the place” and “Owl right.” and “Owl rights reserved” and “Owl smiles” and “Owl systems are go” and “Owl that” and “Owl talk and no action” and “Owl the best” and “Owl the rage” and “Owl the same” and “Owl things considered” and “Owl things must pass” and “Owl very well” and “Owl walks of life” and “Owl-out war” and “At owl costs” and “By owl means” and “For owl I know” and “For owl practical purposes” and “Give it owl you’ve got!” and “Go owl-out” and “In owl honesty” and “In owl likelihood” and “Firing on owl cylinders” and “If owl else fails” and “In owl seriousness” and “That is owl.” and “Owls well that ends well” and “That’s owl for now.”
  • Who’d → Hoot: As in “Hoot have thought it would be so easy?”
  • *owl*: There are a few words that contain the “owl” sound which can be used as silly owl puns: b-owls (bowels), growl, t-owl (towel), scowling, scowl, fowl, howled, v-owl (vowel), prowling, cowl.
  • Budgie: “Budgie smugglers”. Note: a budgie smuggler is another name for Speedos.
  • Geese: “Cackling geese (those who warn of something that’s about to happen)” and “All one’s geese are swans”. Note: if one’s geese are swans, then they have a habit of over exaggerating accomplishments or things.
  • Goose: “Oh I’m such a silly goose!” and “A wild goose never laid a tame egg” and “Goose bumps/pimples” and “Cook someone’s goose” and “Can’t say boo to a goose” and “Kill the goose that lays the golden eggs” and “A wild-goose chase” and “Goose up (improve performance)”.
  • Fastened → Pheasant: As in “My seat-belt is pheasant, and I’m ready to go.”
  • Swan: “As graceful as a swan” and “Swan song (Final accomplishment)” and “I swan! (What a surprise!)”.
  • Robin: “Robin Hood” and “A round robin” and “Batman and Robin“.
  • Robbing → Robbin’: As in “They were  robbin’ a bank.”
  • Duck: As in “Duck and weave” and “A sitting duck” and “Water off a duck’s back” and “Duck and cover” and “Duck out” and “Ducking and diving” and “Get one’s ducks in a row” and “Golden duck” and “If it looks like a duck and walks like a duck and (etc.) like a duck, it probably is a duck” and “Take to like a duck to water” and “Lame duck” and “Ducked the question”.
  • Cower → Quail: As in “He quailed and trembled but tried to remain still.”
  • Chicken: “A chicken and egg situation” and “Chicken out of something” and “Don’t count your chickens before they’ve hatched” and “Chicken sh*t” and “Get up with the chickens” and “You’re chicken (scared)” and “Curses, like chickens, come home to roost” and “Chicken feed (small amount of money/something)”.
  • Dodo: “Go the way of the dodo” and “As dead as a dodo“. Note: to go the way of the dodo is to become extinct.
  • Hawk: “Watch (someone) like a hawk” and “Have eyes like a hawk” and “I know a hawk from a handsaw” and “Hawks and doves” and “Between hawk and buzzard” Note: to be between hawk and buzzard is to be caught between two extremes.
  • Eagle: “When the eagle flies (payday)” and “Eagle eye” and “Legal eagle
  • *eagle*: If a word contains the “eagle” sound or anything similar, a silly eagle pun can be made: eagle-itarian (egalitarian), illeagle (illegal), geagle (giggle), jeagle (juggle)
  • Cuckoo: “Be in cloud-cuckoo land” and “Cuckoo in the nest” and “A crazy, cuckoo (coo-coo) person.” Note: to be in cloud-cuckoo land is to indulge in an over-optimistic fantasy.
  • Her own → Heron: As in “She’s moved into heron place now.”
  • More → Moa: As in “All the moa reason” and “Moa trouble than it’s worth” and “Bite off moa than one can chew” and “Do moa harm than good” and “Get moa than one bargained for” and “Have had moa than your fair share” and “Have moa luck than sense” and “I couldn’t agree moa” and “Moa and moa” and “Moa bang for you buck” and “That’s moa like it” and “Moa or less” and “Moa often than not” and “Moa power to you!” and “Moa than I bargained for” and “The moa the merrier” and “Need I say moa?” and “What’s more, …” and “You are moa than welcome” and “What moa can I do?” and “Less is moa“. Note: the moa were a type of flightless bird in New Zealand that are now extinct.
  • Swift: Swift means fast/agile, but is also the name of a type of small bird.
  • Flight: “Flight of fancy” and “Take flight” and “Flight of imagination” and “In full flight” and “Flight attendant”.
  • Twitter/Tweet: This can obviously refer to the social network, or to the sound of birds chirping. To “twitter” can also refer to talking rapidly and at length on trivial topics.
  • Swallow: A swallow is a type of bird (and obviously a thing you do when you’re eating/drinking).
  • Two can → Toucan: As in “Toucan play at that game…”
  • Stalk → Stork: As in “To stork one’s prey” and “That guy is a storker“.
  • When → Wren: As in “Wren push comes to shove” and “I’ll believe it wren I see it” and “Say wren…” and “Since wren?” and “Time flies wren you’re having fun” and “Wren in Rome, do as the Romans do” and “Wren it comes to …” and “Wren all’s said and done” and “Wren it comes down to it” and “Wren least expected” and “Wren your back is turned” and “Wren hell freezes over” and “Wren the going gets tough, the tough get going”.
  • Young woman → Chick
  • Chuck → Chick: As in, “Chick a sickie,” and “Get chicked out,” and “Chick overboard.”
  • Trick → Chick: As in, “Bag of chicks,” and “Every chick in the book,” and “How’s chicks?” and “Never misses a chick,” and “One chick pony,” and “A chick of the light,” and “Chick or treat!” and “Chicks of the trade,” and “Up to your old chicks.”
  • Thick → Chick: As in, “As chick as thieves,” and “Blood is chicker than water,” and “In the chick of things,” and “The plot chickens,” and “Chick and fast,” and “Through chick and thin,” and “Lay it on chick.”
  • Egg: There are a few phrases/idioms that contain the word “egg”: “A bad egg” and “Egg on” and “A hard egg to track” and “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket” and “Egg on one’s face” and “A good egg” and “A rotten egg” and “Egg and spoon race”. Note: to have egg on your face means that you’ve been made to look foolish.
  • Show-off → Peacock
  • Thrush: This can refer to a type of infection of the mouth and throat or of the genitals, but also refers to a family of birds that exist all over the world.
  • Turn → Tern: (Terns are a family of seabirds found all over the world) As in “Tern the other cheek” and “Wren (when) your back is terned” and “A tern of phrase” and “A tern of the screw” and “I spoke out of tern” and “Take a tern for the worse/better” and “Take terns” and “Toss and tern” and “Tern a blind eye” and “Tern a profit” and “Tern against” and “Tern around” and “Tern in one’s grave” and “Tern of events” and “Tern of the century” and “Tern of the century” and “The tides have terned” and “Tern up one’s nose” and “Whatever terns you on”.
  • Flock: “To flock around/to (someone/something)” and “Flock together” and “Birds of a feather flock together”. Note: birds of a feather flock together means that ones with similar tastes or interest tend to congregate together.
  • Flick → Flock: As in, “Chick flock,” and “Give it the flock.” Note: to give something the flick is to get rid of it.
  • Fluke → Flock: As in, “A lucky flock.”
  • Flake → Flock: As in, “Flock out,” and “Flock-y pastry.” Note: to flake out is to not stand up to promises or expectations.
  • Migrate: Since some bird species migrate, you might be able to make a bird pun by simply using the term “migrate” or “migration” in place of “move” or similar words, depending on the context.
  • Hen: “Don’t let the fox guard the hen-house” and “As scarce as hen’s teeth” and “A mother hen” and “Hen-pecked” and “Hen’s night/party”. Note: to be henpecked is to be bullied or intimidated by a female.
  • *hen*: Words than contain “hen” can be silly chicken/hen puns: Apprehend, appre-hen-sion, comprehend, comprehension, comprehensive, hence, henceforth, repre-hen-sible, stonehenge.
  • *han* → *hen*: As in, “Give me your hend (hand),” and “Do you have a hendle (handle) on it?” and “You look so hendsome tonight,” and “Your hendwriting has improved,” and “Their kids are a real hendful,” and “She was raised as an orphen,” and “The elephent in the room,” and “Please enhence the image,” and “I’ve had an epipheny!” and “This is your last chence,” and “Change the chennel.”
  • *hin* → *hen*: As in, “You’re hendering (hindering) me,” and “Doorhenge,” and “Give me a hent (hint),” and “In hendsight (hinsight),” and “You’re a hendrance (hindrance),” and “Change comes from withen,” and “Looking a bit then (thin),” and “Take it on the chen (chin),” and “Got kicked in the shens (shins),” and “Contrary to what you may think, dolphens are mammals,” and “A rush of endorphens,” and “A street urchen.” Note: to hinder is to block someone’s progress or to make something difficult to complete.
  • *hon* → *hen*: As in, “Brutally henest (honest),” and “An henourable mention,” and “Hello, heney (honey).”
  • *hun* → *hen*: As in, “A wild hench (hunch),” and “The henter (hunter) becomes the hented (hunted),” and “One hendred,” and “I’m hengry,” and “That’s not what I henger (hunger) for.”
  • Peck: “The pecking order” and “Peck at (eat only a bit)” and “You have to eat a peck of dirt before you die”. Note: having to eat a peck of dirt before you die means that no-one can escape unpleasant things; everyone will have some kind of unfortunate circumstance to endure during their lifetime.
  • *pec* → *peck*: As in, “Peckuliar circumstances,” and “Peckan pie,” and “Work those pecks (pecs)!” and “Don’t make a specktacle of yourself,” and “A different perspecktive,” and “Treat them with respeckt,” and “Take all aspeckts into account,” and “Sexuality is a specktrum,” and “Prospecktive interests.”
  • *pac* → *peck*: As in, “Good things come in small peckages,” and “A blood peckt,” and “Pay pecket,” and “Positive social impeckt,” and “A compeckt car,” and “Peckyderm (pachyderm).” Note: a pachyderm is a type of animal (elephants are pachyderms).
  • *pic* → *peck*: As in, “The big peckture,” and “Peck up sticks,” and “In a peckle,” and “A peckturesque view,” and “A few sandwiches short of a pecknic (picnic),” and “An epeck movie,” and “I’m a bit myopeck,” and “Stay on topeck,” and “A new biopeck,” and “A philanthropeck mission,” and “Acting conspeckuous,” and “An accurate depecktion,” and “A despeckable villain.” Notes: if someone is myopic, then they’re short-sighted. A biopic is a biographical film. A philanthropic cause is one which aims to promote charity and the welfare of others.
  • *poc* → *peck*: As in, “Pecket-sized,” and “Get outta here with your hypeckrisy (hypocrisy),” and “Apeckalyspe now,” and “You’re being a hypeckrite.”
  • *puc* → *peck*: As in, pecker (pucker), peckered (puckered), and cappeckcino (cappucino).
  • *bac* → *peck*: As in, “Peckground noise,” and “Peckterial (bacterial) infection,” and “Political pecklash,” and “A beautiful peckdrop,” and “The peckchelor (bachelor),” and “In my peckyard,” and “What a depeckle (debacle).”
  • *bec* → *peck*: As in, peckome (become), peckon (beckon), barpeckue (barbecue).
  • *bic* → *peck*: As in, aeropeck (aerobic), arapeck (arabic), cupeckle (cubicle).
  • Honey eater → Honeyeater: This one would require a very specific context.
  • Cheap → Cheep: As in “Dirt cheep” and “Talk is cheep” and “On the cheep” and “Cheep and nasty” and “A cheep shot” and “Cheep at twice the price” and “Cheep skate”.
  • Swoop: “In one fell swoop” (suddenly; in a single action)
  • Inexperienced person → Fledgling: A “fledgling” is a bird who has only just developed flight feathers. The term is also used for an inexperienced person.
  • Crane: “Crane your neck over the fence”.
  • Crow: “As the crow flies” and “Be up with the crows” and “A crow to pluck” and “Crow bait” and “As hoarse as a crow” and “Stone the crows” and “Something to crow about”. Note: “As the crow flies” is a phrase indicating the most direct path between two points. To be up with the crows is to be awake and active very early in the morning.
  • Canary: “Canary in the coal mine” and “Like the cat that swallowed the canary“.
  • Bill: As in “A dollar bill” and “Fit the bill“.
  • Brood: As in “Brood over/about” (See wiki article)
  • Raving → Raven: As in “Stark raven mad” and “Raven about (something)”.
  • Sore → Soar: As in “I sight for soar eyes” and “Sticks out like a soar thumb” and “Soar loser”.
  • Wobble → Warble: “Warblers” are a classification of bird.
  • Bastard → BustardBustards are a type of terrestrial bird.
  • Pigeon: There are a few phrases which contain “pigeon” and thus may be used as pigeon puns: “Clay pigeon (person who is easily exploited)” and “Set the cat among the pigeons” and “Stool pigeon (decoy/informer/police spy)” and “Pigeon-eyed (drunk)”.
  • Lark: “Happy as a lark” and “On a lark (whim)” This term is also used as a synonym for “a prank” and also playfulness, especially of a mischievous variety.
  • Lock → Lark: As in “Grid lark” and “Lark and load” and “Lark horns with” and “Under lark and key” and “Lark them up and throw away they key” and “Lark down”.
  • Cage: “Rattle (someone’s) cage” and “A gilded cage” and “Who rattled your cage?”
  • Bitten → Bittern: As in “Once bittern, twice shy” and “Bittern by the same bug”, Note: a bittern is a type of bird.
  • Black swan: This is a phrase used to refer to an event that comes as a surprise and has a major effect.
  • Turkey: As in, “Cold turkey,” and “Talk turkey.” Notes: Cold turkey refers to the abrupt and complete quitting of something. To talk turkey is to speak frankly and openly.
  • The Key → Turkey: As in, “Turkey to your heart,” and “Lock him up and throw away turkey,” and “Turkey to a nice, relaxed evening,” and “Turkey to success.”
  • Coot: This can refer to a foolish or eccentric person, especially an old man. It also refers to a type of aquatic bird.
  • Claw: As in, “Tooth and claw,” and “Get your claws into.”
  • Chlo* → Claw*: As in clawride (chloride) and clawrine (chlorine).
  • Clo* → Claw*: As in, clawbber (clobber), claw-ck (clock), clawckwise (clockwise), clawg (clog), clawset (closet), clawth (cloth).
  • Grasp → Clutch: The term “clutch” has a few meanings outside of the “grip/grasp” one. The bird-related meaning of “clutch” refers to a group of eggs, often laid at the same time and incubated by one adult.
  • Click → Cluck: As in “Cluck on that button” and “Her explanation clucked with me straight away”.
  • Clock → Cluck: As in “The cluck is ticking” and “A race against the cluck” and “Around the cluck” and “Biological cluck” and “Turn back the cluck” and “Stop the cluck” and “10 o’cluck“.
  • *rhea*: A “rhea” is a large, flightless bird related to emus and ostriches. If a word contains the “ree-ah” sound, a silly rhea bird pun can be made: approp-rhea-teness (appropriateness),  aqua-rheas (aquarius), adversa-rhea-l (adversarial), ag-rhea-ble (agreeable), aqua-rhea-m (aquarium), bacter-rhea, a-rhea (area), cerheal (cereal), crite-rhea, curheas (curious), experheance, equilibrheam, glorheas (glorius), illustrheas, industrhealised, libertarhean, librarhean, materheal (material), invarheable, memorheal, mysterheas, precarheas, rhea-djustment, rheaffirm, rhealistically, rhealignment, rheappearance, rheasserted, serheasly (seriously), terrestrheal, victorheas, vicarheas, tutorheal, vegeta-rhea-n.
  • Crest:  We say “the crest of a hill” as well as  “the crest of a parrot”. This double meaning is a potential bird/parrot pun.
  • Regret → Egret: As in “I really egret making that pun.” Note: an egret is a type of heron.
  • Full-fledged / Fully-fledged: This means “Having achieved the full status of one’s title.” It comes from “fledged” which means “Gained flight feathers”.
  • Look / glance → Gander: The term “gander” refers to a male goose. The phrase “Take a gander (at something)” simply means “To look at something.”
  • Grumble / complain → Grouse: The term “grouse” can refer to grumbling and complaining, and can also refer to a particular classification of birds that are related to chickens.
  • Grab → Grebe: A “grebe” is a type of freshwater diving bird. It it pronounced “greeb” which is probably close enough to make a silly word play on “grab”.
  • Formation: Flocking birds (especially those who travel large distances) often fly in formations to reduce air resistance and conserve energy. In the right context you might be able to simply use the word “formation” in a non-bird-related way to make a very subtle bird pun.
  • Aerial: As an adjective this means “existing, operating or happening in the air”. As an noun it is a synonym for antenna. It may be able to be used as a subtle bird pun in the right context.
  • Roost: “Come home to roost” and “Rule the roost“.
  • Snipe: This refers to a wading bird of marshes and wet meadows. It obviously has several other meanings: to shoot at from a long range, or to make a sly and petty verbal attack.
  • Rook: This term refers to a social Eurasian crow but can also refer to taking money from someone by cheating or overcharging them.
  • Strike / hit → Shrike: A “shrike” is a type of carnivorous bird. Idioms: “Shrike a cord” and “Go on shrike” and “Shrike a balance” and “Shrike a pose” and “Lightening never shrikes the same spot twice” and “Shrike up a conversation” and “Three shrikes and you’re out” and “Shrike out” and “Shrike gold”

Bird-Related Words

There are many more bird puns to be made! Here’s a list of bird-related concepts to help you come up with your own. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

fly, beak, feather, avian, wing, nest, parrot, fowl, kingfisher, owl, hummingbird, vulture, seagull, ostrich, flamingo, budgie, sparrow, geese, goose, penguin, finch, pelican, woodpecker, pheasant, swan, starling, robin, duck, dove, quail, birdie, chicken, dodo, cassowary, hawk, eagle, nightjar, cuckoo, heron, moa, blackbird, hornbill, nightingale, emu, gull, swift, flight, twitter, tweet, swallow, toucan, stork, wren, magpie, chick, egg, peacock, plumage, buzzard, cormorant, thrush, partridge, tern, waterbird, flock, peregrin falcon, migration, waterfowl, bird watching, ornithologist, mockingbird, hen, rooster, peck, honeyeater, songbird, talon, fledgling, swoop, cheep, chirp, crane, crow, canary, bill, pip, brood, weaver, kookaburra, raven, wren, preen, soar, chitter, osprey, big-bird, warble, swordbill, bustard, pigeon, lark, flightless, albatross, plover, tern, aves, aviary, cage, bittern, black swan, blue jay, bluebird, budgerigar, coot, clutch, cockatoo, cockatiel, rhea, congregation, crest, curlew, egret, fledge, flock, gander, gizzard, grouse, grebe, ibis, incubate, kiwi, kite, kestrel, lorikeet, macaw, mallard, pintail, puffin, roadrunner, rook, roost, sandpiper, snipe, shrike, skylark, turtle dove, birdbath, aerial, float, formation

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