Magic Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on magic puns! 🧙 ✨🔮

Whether you’re playing a word game, doing some creative writing or crafting a witty dating bio, we hope that you find this list entertaining and enjoyable and that you find the magic pun that you’re looking for.

While we’ve made this list as thorough as possible, this entry is for magic in general. For more specific magic-related puns, we do also have entries on witch puns and Harry Potter puns.

Magic Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about magic that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of magic puns:

  • Magic: Magic-related phrases: “Every little thing she does is magic”, “It’s a kind of magic”, “Magic Johnson”, “Magic beans”, “Magic carpet ride”, “Magical mystery tour”, “Make some magic”, “The magic number”, “Wave your magic wand”, and “Work one’s magic”. 
  • *agi* → *magic*: Use words with the soft “agi” sound in them: “Magic-tive (adjective)”, “Magic-sterial (magisterial)”, and “Imagic-nation (imagination)”. 
  • Black: Use black-related phrases to make black-magic puns: “If you want to impress someone, put them on your black magic list”, “In a black magic mood”, “Little black magic book”, “Little black magic dress”, and “On the black magic market”. 
  • Magic: Add to magic-related phrases: “Do you believe in black magic?”, “Every little thing shes does is black magic” and “It’s a kind of black magic.” You can also use these to make white magic puns (as in, “Do you believe in white magic?”)
  • Spell: Some spell-related phrases: “Cast a spell”, “How do you spell relief?”, “Spell it out”, “Be under (someone’s) spell”, “Break the spell”, “A dry spell”, “It spells trouble”, Spelling bee”, and “Back in a spell!”
  • Smell → Spell: As in, “Come up spelling of roses”, “I spell a rat”, “A keen sense of spell”, “A rose by any other name would spell just as sweet”, “Spell ya later”, “Spells like teen spirit”, Stop and spell the roses”, “The sweet spell of success”, “Tastes as good as it spells”, and “Whoever spelled it, dealt it”. Also works for other forms of smell – smelly (spelly) and smelling (spelling). 
  • Stellar → Spellar: As in, “What a spellar performance from England!”
  • *pel* → *spell*: Amend words with “pel” in them to “spell”, as in: “I don’t want to be exspelled (expelled)!”, “Dispell (dispel) the thought”, “This recipe is misspelled”, and “She watched the show, spellbound.”
  • Spill → Spell: As in, “Spell the beans”, “Spell your guts”, “Cry over spelled milk”, “Spell the tea”, “He took a spell.”
  • Book → Spellbook: As in, “A room without spellbooks is like a body without a soul”, “Always have your nose in a spellbook”, “Spellbook worm”, “By the spellbook”, “Every trick in the spellbook”, “Read any good spellbooks lately?”, “His life’s an open spellbook”, “Hit the spellbooks”, “Little black spellbook”, “So many spellbooks, so little time”, and “Don’t judge a spellbook by its cover”.  
  • Witch: Some phrases with the word “witch”: “The witching hour”, “Witch hunt”, “Witches knickers”, and “Which witch is which?” 
  • *witch → *witch: As in, “Asleep at the s-witch”, “S-witch off”, “S-witch on”, and “S-witch hitter”,  and “A witch in time saves nine.”
  • B*tch → Witch: Make your cusswords kid-friendly by swapping witch in: “Witch fest”, “Witch slap”, “Flip a witch”, “Life’s a witch and then you die”, “Payback’s a witch”, “Rich witch”, “The witch is back”, “Basic witch”, “Witch and moan”, and “Resting witch face.”
  • *wich → *witch: Switch words ending in -wich around with witch to make some witch puns: “What’s the Green-witch mean time?” and “When do you want to go to Nor-witch?” and “What’s in this sand-witch?” 
  • *witch: Emphasise words that end in witch: “What’s with that t-witch?” and “The power to be-witch.” Also works for other forms of these words, like “be-witching” and “t-witches”
  • Rich* → Witch*: Swap the word “witch” into words that start with a “rich” sound – “Witchard” (Richard), “Witcher” (richer), “Witchual” (ritual), “Witchualistic” (ritualistic), “Witchest” (richest). 
  • Enrich → En-witch: As in, “en-witch the Earth”. 
  • Wish → Witch: As in, “Be careful what you witch for”, “Be the change you witch to see”, “When you witch upon a star”, “Witch me luck!” and “Witchful thinking.” 
  • With you → Witcha: As in, “Bewitcha in a minute!” 
  • *craft → *witchcraft: As in, “Arts and witchcrafts,” “Mixed martial arts and witchcrafts,” and “She’s a witchcrafty one.”
  • *itching → *witching: Change words that end in “itching” so that they end in “witching”, like so: “I’m witching (itching) to get to the station”, “That’s a witching (b*tching) dress!”
  • Hours: Change hour-related sayings: “After witching hours”, “At the eleventh witching hour”, “Happy witching hour”, “My finest witching hour”, “Now is the witching hour”, “Open all witching hours”, and “The darkest witching hour is just before the dawn”.
  • Lizard → Wizard: As in, “Flat out like a wizard drinking”, “Lounge wizard”, and “The wizard king”. 
  • Wizard → Hedge Wizard: As in, “The Hedge Wizard of Oz”, and “We’re off to see the hedge wizard”. Note: A hedge wizard is a type of “small-time” wizard.
  • Saucer → Sorcerer: As in, “Eyes like sorcerers.” 
  • War → Warlock: As in, “Art of warlock”, “Don’t mention the warlock”, “Make love not warlock”, and “The cold warlock”.
  • Lock → Warlock: As in, “Davy Jones’ warlock-er”, and “Under warlock and key”.
  • *ician → *magician: Change words that end with “ician” so that they end with “magician”, like so: “What a talented mathmagician (mathematician)”, and “She’s an arithmagician (arithmatician)”. 
  • Age: Take these age-related phrases and turn them into mage-related puns: “Mage before beauty”, “An awkward mage”, “Rock of mages”, “The mage of reason”, “The space mage”, “The mage of miracles is past”, and “Ripe old mage”.
  • Image: Emphasise the “mage” in these image-related phrases: “Spitting image”, and “Image is everything”.
  • Fairy: Use fairy-related phrases: “Airy fairy”, “Fairytale ending” and “Nobody loves a fairy when she’s forty”.
  • *fair* → *fairy*: Swap “fair” for “fairy”, like so: “Affairy of the heart”, “An affairy to remember”, “All the fun of the fairy”, “All’s fairy in love and war”, “By fairy means or foul”, “Faint heart never won fairy lady”, “Fairy trade”, “Fairy and square”, “Fairy dinkum”, “Fairy enough”, “Fairy game”, “A family affairy”, “My fairy lady”, “No fairy!” and “Savoir fairy”
  • Far → Fairy: Swap “far” for “fairy” to create some witty magic puns like so: “As fairy as it goes”, “As fairy as the eye can see”, “Few and fairy between”, and “Over the hills and fairy away”, “So fairy so good”, “Thursday’s child has fairy to go” and “The fruit does not fall fairy from the tree”. 
  • Very → Fairy: As in, “Be afraid, be fairy afraid”, “Before your fairy eyes”, “How fairy dare you!”, “It was a fairy good year”, “Thank you fairy much”, “Fairy interesting, but stupid”, “All fairy well” and “At the fairy least”.
  • Heel → Healer: As in, “Achilles’ healer”, “Head over healers in love”, “High healer sneakers”, “Kick up your healers”, “Turn on your healers” and “Cool your healers”
  • Man → Shaman: As in, “A shaman for all seasons”, “A portrait of the artist as a young shaman”, “A dog is a shaman’s best friend”, “A drowning shaman will clutch at a straw”, “A good shaman is hard to find”, “A shaman after my own heart”, “A shaman among men”, “A woman without a shaman is like a fish without a bicycle”, “Million dollar shaman”, “I’m a changed shaman”, “Don’t have a cow, shaman” and “Early to bed and early to rise makes a shaman healthy, wealthy and wise”. There are many more man-related phrases out there, so be creative! 
  • *sham* → *shaman*: As in, “Champagne for my real friends, real pain for my shaman friends!”, “Anti-dandruff shamanpoo (shampoo)”.
  • Divine → Divining: As in, “Divining intervention”, “Divining providence” and “Divining retribution”.
  • See her → Seer: As in, “Where did she go? I can’t seer!”
  • See → Seer: As in, “As far as the eye can seer”, “Be the change that you wish to seer in the world”, “Can’t seer beyond the end of your nose”, “Can’t seer the wood for the trees”, “Come up and seer me sometime”, “Hear no evil, speak no evil, seer no evil”, “I can seer clearly now”, “Now you seer it, now you don’t”, and “Seer what the future has in store”. There are many more seeing-related phrases to make puns from, so be creative!
  • *ear → Seer: As in, “All seers”, “As cute as a bug’s seer” and “Don’t believe everything you seer (hear)”.
  • Sear → Seer: As in, “Would you like some seered eggplant?”
  • Medium: A couple of medium-related phrases (medium as in the psychically gifted): “Happy medium” and “The medium is the message”.
  • *orical → *oracle: As in, “This is a historacle (historical) place”, “That was a rhetoracle (rhetorical) question”, “An allegoracle (allegorical) story”, “Is this categoracle (categorical)?” and “This is just metaphoracle (metaphorical)”. 
  • Coracle → C-oracle: Emphasise the “oracle” in “coracle”: “Shall we go for a ride in my c-oracle?” Note: A coracle is a small boat. 
  • Element → Elemental: As in, “Brave the elementals”,Elementals of surprise” and, “Elemental, my dear Watson”. 
  • Mentality → Elementality: As in, “Mob elementality” and “Siege elementality”.
  • Metal → Elemental: As in, “Bite my shiny, elemental ass”, “Put the pedal to the elemental”, “Heavy elemental” and “Death elemental”
  • Shape: Use shape-related phrases to make puns about shapeshifters: “All shapeshifters and sizes”, “Bent out of shapeshifter”, “Get in shapeshifter”, “Shapeshifter up or ship out!”, “Take shapeshifter” and “In any way, shapeshifter or form”.
  • Shift: Use shift-related phrases: “Graveyard shapeshift”, “Night shapeshift”, “Shapeshift gears”, Shapeshift into high gear”, “Shapeshifting sands” and “Shapeshift your ass”.
  • Rite: Rite-related phrases: “Last rites”, and “Rite of passage”.
  • Write → Rite: As in, “Nothing to rite home about”, “Rite one’s own ticket”, “Riter’s cramp” and “Their virtues we rite”.
  • Right → Rite: As in, “A move in the rite direction”, “A woman’s rite to choose”, “All the rite moves”, “Alrite already!”, “Animal rites”, “As rite as rain”, “Bang to rites”, “Barge rite in”, “Bolt uprite”, “Bragging rites”, “Civil rites”, “Consumer rites”, “Do all rite for yourself”, “Do what feels rite”, “Fight for the rite to party”, “Get off on the rite foot”, “Give your rite arm”, “In the rite place at the rite time”, “In the rite vein”, “Moving rite along”, “Play your cards rite”, “Rite back at ya”, and “The kids are alrite“. There are many more right-related phrases that can be changed to make rite puns, so take some time to be creative. 
  • *right* → *rite*: Change the “right” sound in words to “rite” to make magic puns – ” Arthriteis” (arthritis), “Brite” (bright – also works for brighten, brightening, brightened, etc), “Detriteus” (detritus), “Frite” (fright – also works for frightful, frightened, etc)
  • *rite*: Use words that have “rite” in them already: As in “Criteria” and “Contrite”.
  • Wicked → Wicca’d: As in, “No peace for the wicca’d,” and “No rest for the wicca’d”, “Something wicca’d this way comes,” and “Wicca’d stepmother.”
  • Quicken/Quicker → Q’wiccan/’wicca: As in, “Candy is dandy but liquor is q’wicca”, “Q’wicca than the eye can see”,”The hand is q’wicca than the eye”, “Her pace q’wiccans.”
  • Wicket → Wiccat: As in, “Deep mid wiccat”, “Keep wiccat”, and “Wiccat keeper.”
  • We can → Wiccan: As in, “I’m sure wiccan do it!”
  • Pelican → Pelwiccan: As in, “A marvellous bird is the pelwiccan, its beak holds more than its belly can”.
  • *cult* → *occult*: Change words that have “cult” in them to “occult” to make some magically witchy puns, like so: “Multioccultural (multicultural)”, “Occultivate (cultivate)”, “Diffoccult (difficult)”, “Diffocculty (difficulty)”, and “Occultural (cultural)”.
  • Fortune: Change fortune-related phrases to make puns related to fortune-telling: “Family fortune-telling”, “Fortune-telling favours the brave” and “Wheel of fortune-telling”.
  • Telling: Use telling-related phrases, as in: “Death is nature’s way of fortune-telling you to slow down”, “That would be fortune-telling”, “There’s no fortune-telling”, and “You’re fortune-telling me!”
  • Oven → Coven: As in, “Bun in the coven.”
  • Motion → Potion: As in, “Going through the potions,” and “Slow potion.”
  • *oo → *Brew: Use words that rhyme with “brew” or have an “oo” sound, as in: “Everything I brew, I brew it for you”, “Brew away with”, “Brew me a favour,” and “You’re brewing my head in!” and “Brew or die”, “Brewberries (blueberries)”, “Out of the brew (blue)”, “Knock back a brew (few)”, “You will brew the day! (rue)”.
  • Beauty → Brewty: As in, “Brewty is only skin-deep”, “A thing of brewty is a joy forever”, “Brewty and the beast”, “Brewty is in the eye of the beholder”, “Brewty is truth”, “You’re brewtiful”, “I need my brewty sleep”, “That’s the brewty of it”, and “The perception of brewty is a moral test”.
  • Bro* → Brew*: As in, “Am I my brewther’s keeper?”, “Big brewther is watching you”, “O brewther, where art thou?”, “Like a brewken record”, “A brewken vessel”, “That will definitely get us some brewnie points”, “Go for brewke”, “Knit one’s eyebrews”, “Raised eyebrews”, “If it ain’t brewke, don’t fix it”, and “Brew, do you even lift?”
  • Broom: Change broom-related phrases for broomstick puns: “A new broomstick sweeps clean”, and “Marry over the broomstick”
  • Room → Broom: As in, “A broom with a view”, “Smallest broom in the house”, “Standing broom only”, and “This is my broommate”.  
  • Stick: Change stick-related phrases for broomstick puns: “As cross as two broomsticks”, “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp broomstick”, “Carrot and broomstick”, “Every broomstick has two ends”, “Five, six, pick up broomsticks”, “Got hold of the wrong end of the broomstick”, “In the broomsticks”, “More than you can shake a broomstick at”, “Short end of the broomstick”, “Speak softly and carry a big broomstick”, “Broomstick in the mud”, and “Broomsticks and bones may break my bones and words can contribute to systemic oppression”.
  • Stuff → Staff: As in, “Don’t sweat the small staff”, “Get staffed”, “Hot staff”, “Know your staff”, “Strut your staff”, “Stocking staffer”, “Staff your face”, “Staff dreams are made of”, “Made of sterner staff” and “The staff of legends”.
  • Stiff → Staff: As in, “As staff as a poker”, “Bored staff“, “A staff upper lip”, “Scared staff” and “Staff competition”.
  • *stif* → *staff*: Change the “stif” in words to “staff”, like so: “Demystaffy” (demystify), “Justaffiable” (justifiable) and “Testaffy” (testify). 
  • Wand: Related phrases: “Goosey goosey gander, whither shall I wand-er?” and “Wave your magic wand”.
  • *wand*: Emphasise the “wand” in certain words: “Qwandaries (quandaries)”, “Rwanda”, “Sqwander (squander)”,  “Taekwando (taekwondo)”, “Wander”, “Wanderer,” and “Wanderlust.” Note: a quandary is a situation in which you’re indecisive. 
  • *orb*: Emphasize the “orb” in certain words: “Absorb” (also related words like absorbed, absorbency, absorbent, etc), “Doorbell”, “Exorbitant”, “Floorboard”, “Forbearance”, “Forbidden”, “Foreboding”, “Morbid” (also related words like morbidity, morbidly, etc), “Orbit” (also related words like orbital, orbited, orbiting, etc), “Scoreboard” and “Sorbet”.
  • *gram* → *grimoire*: As in, “Get with the progrimoire” and “Grimoire police”. Note: A grimoire is a magical textbook.
  • *row → *robe: Use words that have the “row” sound in them to make some robe puns, as in: “Robe-ot” (robot), “Robe-ust” (robust), “Robe-oat” (rowboat), “Aerobeic” (aerobic), “Bathrobe”, “Microbe”, “Probe”, and “Wardrobe”. There are many other “row/robe” words, so be creative! 
  • *rab* → *robe*: As in, “Honorobele mention”. 
  • Rub → Robe: As in, “Hasn’t got two cents to robe together”, “Robe a dub dub”, “Robe it in”, “Robe salt in the wound”, “Robe shoulders with” and “I don’t know whether to eat it or robe it on”.
  • *rob* → *robe*: As in, “Heartthrobe”, “Acrobe-at”, “Improbeable”, “Probeably”, “Probelem” and “Red Robein”.
  • Cat: Use cat-related phrases to make puns about the classic witch’s familiar: “Black cat on a hot tin roof”, “Black cat got your tongue?”, “Curiosity killed the black cat”, and “The black cat’s pyjamas.”
  • Spirit: Use spirit-related phrases: “Be there in spirit”, “In the spirit of it”, “Free spirit”, “Keep your spirits up”, “Kindred spirit”, “Lift your spirits”, “Mean-spirited”, “Smells like teen spirit”, “The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak”, and “That’s the spirit!”
  • Gee → Genie: As in, “Golly genie!” and “Genie wiz”. 
  • Genius → Genie-us: As in, “A stroke of genie-us”, “Evil genie-us”, “Genie-us is one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration”, “Pure genie-us”, “Spark of genie-us”, and “There’s a fine line between genie-us and madness”.
  • Gene → Genie: As in, “Genie mapping”, “Genie-tic fingerprint”, “Genie-tic lottery”, “Genie-tic makeup” and “Genie-ration X”. 
  • Curse: Some curse-related phrases to make witch puns out of: “Commentator’s curse,” and “I’d rather light a candle than curse the dark,” and “Curses!”
  • *curse*: Use words that already have “curse” in them: “Curseor (cursor)”, “Precurseor (precursor)”, “Accursed”,Curseive (cursive)”, “Recurseion (recursion)”, and “Excurseion (excursion)”. 
  • Course → Curse: As in, “But of curse”, “A correspondence curse”, “Of curse you can”, “Crash curse”, “In due curse”, “Let nature take its curse”, “A matter of curse”, “On a collision curse”, “Par for the curse”, “Run its curse” and “The curse of true love never did run smooth”. 
  • Exception → Hexception: As in, “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an hexception,” and “There’s an hexception to every rule.” 
  • Checks → C-hex: As in, “C-hex and balances.”
  • Heck → Hex: As in, “Darn it to hex!”
  • Sex → Hex: As in, “Battle of the hexes,” and “Fair hex,” and “Gentle hex,” and “Group hex,” and “Safe hex.”
  • Chant: Use words either related to or containing “chant”: “Chantal,” and “Chanted,” and “Disenchanted,” and “Disenchantment,” and “Enchanting,” and “Merchant,” and “Penchant.” 
  • Can’t → Chant: As in, “An offer one chant refuse”, “Chant get enough”, “Chant stand it”, “I chant hear you!”, “It chant be helped”, “You chant say fairer than that”, “Chant see beyond the end of one’s nose”, “Don’t make promises you chant keep”, “Those who can have a moral obligation to do for those who chant”, and “If you chant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
  • Dousing → Dowsing: As in, “They’re dowsing the fire!” Note: Dowsing is a type of divination – historically in the context of trying to find underground minerals, but more commonly today used to refer to spiritual, witchy divination. 
  • Cry → Scry: As in, “A scry for help”, “A shoulder to scry on”, “Big girls don’t scry”, “Scry from the heart”, “Scry into your beer”, “Scry your heart out”, “It’s my party and I’ll scry if I want to”, “Smile and the world smiles with you, scry and you scry alone” and “I don’t know whether to laugh or scry.” Note: to scry is to predict the future, usually with a crystal ball or other reflective object. 
  • Demon: Some demon-related phrases for you to play with: “Confront one’s demons”, “Speed demon”, and “Demon drink”.
  • Cart → Cartomancy: As in, “A la cartomancy”, “Crash cartomancy”, “Horse and cartomancy” and “Put the cartomancy before the horse”. Note: Cartomancy is divination or fortune-telling using cards. 
  • Trick: Use trick-related phrases: “A bag of tricks”, “Dirty tricks”, “Does the trick”, “Every trick in the book”, “Never misses a trick”, “One trick pony”, “Trick of the light”, “Trick or treat”, “Tricks of the trade” and “Up to your old tricks”.
  • Track → Trick: As in, “Cover your tricks”, “Fast trick”, “From the wrong side of the tricks”, “Keep trick of”, “Lose trick of time”, “Off the beaten trick”, “A one trick mind”, “Stop them dead in their tricks” and “On the wrong trick”
  • Trek → Trick: As in, “Tricking through the jungle”.
  • Truck → Trick: As in, “By the trickload”, “Have no trick with”, “Keep on trickin‘” and “Fell off the back of a trick”.
  • *ric* → *trick*: Replace the “ric” in words with “trick” – “Trickety” (rickety) and “Trickochet” (ricochet)”.
  • Wink: Change wink-related phrases for hoodwink puns: “Forty hoodwinks”, “I have not slept a single hoodwink”, “Nudge nudge, hoodwink, hoodwink” and “In the hoodwink of an eye”.
  • Charm: Some charm-related phrases to help you make some witch puns on the fly: “Charm the birds out of the trees”, “Lead a charmed life”, “Southern charm”, “Third time’s a charm,” and “Works like a charm”.
  • Cham* → Charm*: As in, “In the charmber”, “Charmp at the bit”, Charmpagne taste on a beer budget”, and “We are the charmpions”
  • Exercise → Exorcise: As in, “Box-ticking exorcise”, “Exorcise one’s discretion” and “Whenever I feel the need to exorcise, I lie down until it goes away”.
  • Escape → Escapology: As in, “Make good your escapology”, “Narrow escapology”, and “The great escapology”. Note: Escapology is the art of escaping from traps or locked places, seemingly by magical means. 
  • Television → Telekinesis: As in, “Reality telekinesis”, “The Charlie Chaplin of telekinesis” and “Trial by telekinesis”.
  • Smoke: Change smoke-related phrases: “Blow smoke and mirrors up your a**”, “Go up in smoke and mirrors” and “Holy smoke and mirrors!”
  • Man → Talisman: As in, “A talisman for all seasons”, “A good talisman is hard to find”, “A talisman after my own heart”, “Be your own talisman”, “Billion dollar talisman” and “Self-made talisman”
  • Oh man → Omen: As in, “Omen, I can’t believe this happened”. 
  • Flora → Flaura: As in, “Flaura and fauna”. Note: An aura is a coloured energy field believed to be part of a person’s life force. 
  • Natural → Supernatural: As in, “Do what comes supernaturally,” and “Full of supernatural goodness”, “Supernatural born leader” and “Supernatural selection.”
  • Vanish: Vanish-related phrases: “The lady vanishes” and “Vanish into thin air”.
  • Sea → Seance: As in, “Between the devil and the deep blue seance” and “All at seance”. Note: A seance is an attempt to communicate with spirits. 
  • Read → Mind-read: As in, “Extra! Extra! Mind-read all about it!”, “A good mind-read”, “I can mind-read you like a book”, “A little light mind-reading”, “Mind-read ’em and weep” and “Mind-read between the lines”.

Magic-Related Words

To help you come up with your own magic puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

magic, magical, black magic, white magic, spell, spellcraft, spell book, abracadabra, witch, witches, witchery, witching, witching hour, bewitch, witchcraft, wizard, wizardry, wizarding, hedge wizard, summoner, sorceress, sorcery, sorcerer, warlock, magician, mage, fairy, healer, cleric, shaman, pyromancer, diviner, seer, medium, oracle, elemental, shapeshifter, rite, wicca, wiccan, apparition, occult, enchantment, enchant, enchantress, enchanting, clairvoyant, fortune-telling, coven, potion, brew, broomstick, crystal ball, cauldron, staff, wand, orb, grimoire, robes, witch’s hat, pointy hat, familiar, spirit, genie, curse, hex, jinx, hypnotism, hypnosis, chant, crystal gazing, dowsing, palmistry, scry, demonology, conjuration, conjuror, houdini, incantation, necromancy, cartomancy, trick, hoodwink, charm, illusion, exorcism, escapology, telekinesis, smoke and mirrors, sleight-of-hand, talisman, omen, chalice, fantasy, aura, supernatural, vanish, mystical, mentalism, amulet, voodoo, seance, mind-reading, mind reader, juju, thaumaturgy

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Witch Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on witch puns! 🧙 ✨🔮

Being such a large and loved part of our cultural history, witches are in our stories, movies, games and jokes. Whether you enjoy the mysticism and magic, their craftiness and courage or you simply need some witchy words for a themed party or word game, we hope that you enjoy going through this list and that you find the perfect witch pun for your needs.

While we’ve made this list as comprehensive and thorough as possible, this entry is for witches in general – we do also have Harry Potter puns and magic puns.

Witch Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about witches that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page! Without further ado, here’s our list of witch puns:

  • Witch: Some phrases with the word “witch”: “The witching hour”, “Witch hunt”, “Witches knickers”, and “Which witch is which?” 
  • *witch → *witch: As in, “Asleep at the s-witch”, “S-witch off”, “S-witch on”, and “S-witch hitter”,  and “A witch in time saves nine.”
  • B*tch → Witch: Make your cusswords kid-friendly by swapping witch in: “Witch fest”, “Witch slap”, “Flip a witch”, “Life’s a witch and then you die”, “Payback’s a witch”, “Rich witch”, “The witch is back”, “Basic witch”, “Witch and moan”, and “Resting witch face.”
  • *wich → *witch: Switch words ending in -wich around with witch to make some witch puns: “What’s the Green-witch mean time?” and “When do you want to go to Nor-witch?” and “What’s in this sand-witch?” 
  • *witch: Emphasise words that end in witch: “What’s with that t-witch?” and “The power to be-witch.” Also works for other forms of these words, like “be-witching” and “t-witches”
  • Rich* → Witch*: Swap the word “witch” into words that start with a “rich” sound – “Witchard” (Richard), “Witcher” (richer), “Witchual” (ritual), “Witchualistic” (ritualistic), “Witchest” (richest). 
  • Enrich → En-witch: As in, “en-witch the Earth”. 
  • Wish → Witch: As in, “Be careful what you witch for”, “Be the change you witch to see”, “When you witch upon a star”, “Witch me luck!” and “Witchful thinking.” 
  • With you → Witcha: As in, “Bewitcha in a minute!” 
  • *craft → *witchcraft: As in, “Arts and witchcrafts,” “Mixed martial arts and witchcrafts,” and “She’s a witchcrafty one.”
  • Hours: Change hour-related sayings: “After witching hours”, “At the eleventh witching hour”, “Happy witching hour”, “My finest witching hour”, “Now is the witching hour”, “Open all witching hours”, and “The darkest witching hour is just before the dawn”.
  • Magic: Magic-related phrases: “Every little thing she does is magic”, “It’s a kind of magic”, “Magic Johnson”, “Magic beans”, “Magic carpet ride”, “Magical mystery tour”, “Make some magic”, “The magic number”, “Wave your magic wand”, and “Work one’s magic”. 
  • *agi → *magic: Use words with the soft “agi” sound in them: “Magic-tive (adjective)”, “Magic-sterial (magisterial)”, and “Imagic-nation (imagination)”. 
  • Wicked → Wicca’d: As in, “No peace for the wicca’d,” and “No rest for the wicca’d”, “Something wicca’d this way comes,” and “Wicca’d stepmother.”
  • Quicken/Quicker → Q’wiccan/’wicca: As in, “Candy is dandy but liquor is q’wicca”, “Q’wicca than the eye can see”,”The hand is q’wicca than the eye”, “Her pace q’wiccans.”
  • Wicket → Wiccat: As in, “Deep mid wiccat”, “Keep wiccat”, and “Wiccat keeper.”
  • *cult* → *occult*: Change words that have “cult” in them to “occult” to make some magically witchy puns, like so: “Multioccultural (multicultural)”, “Occultivate (cultivate)”, “Diffoccult (difficult)”, “Diffocculty (difficulty)”, and “Occultural (cultural)”.
  • Spell: Some spell-related phrases: “Cast a spell”, “How do you spell relief?”, “Spell it out”, “Be under (someone’s) spell”, “Break the spell”, “A dry spell”, “It spells trouble”, Spelling bee”, and “Back in a spell!”
  • Smell → Spell: As in, “Come up spelling of roses”, “I spell a rat”, “A keen sense of spell”, “A rose by any other name would spell just as sweet”, “Spell ya later”, “Spells like teen spirit”, Stop and spell the roses”, “The sweet spell of success”, “Tastes as good as it spells”, and “Whoever spelled it, dealt it”. Also works for other forms of smell – smelly (spelly) and smelling (spelling). 
  • Stellar → Spellar: As in, “What a spellar performance from England!”
  • *pel → *spell: Amend words with “pel” in them to “spell”, as in: “I don’t want to be exspelled (expelled)!”, “Dispell (dispel) the thought”, “This recipe is misspelled”, and “She watched the show, spellbound.”
  • Spill → Spell: As in, “Spell the beans”, “Spell your guts”, “Cry over spelled milk”, “Spell the tea”, “He took a spell.”
  • Book → Spellbook: As in, “A room without spellbooks is like a body without a soul”, “Always have your nose in a spellbook”, “Spellbook worm”, “By the spellbook”, “Every trick in the spellbook”, “Read any good spellbooks lately?”, “His life’s an open spellbook”, “Hit the spellbooks”, “Little black spellbook”, “So many spellbooks, so little time”, and “Don’t judge a spellbook by its cover”.  
  • Oven → Coven: As in, “Bun in the coven.”
  • *oo → *Brew: Use words that rhyme with “brew” or have an “oo” sound, as in: “Everything I brew, I brew it for you”, “Brew away with”, “Brew me a favour,” and “You’re brewing my head in!” and “Brew or die”, “Brewberries (blueberries)”, “Out of the brew (blue)”, “Knock back a brew (few)”, “You will brew the day! (rue)”.
  • Beauty → Brewty: As in, “Brewty is only skin-deep”, “A thing of brewty is a joy forever”, “Brewty and the beast”, “Brewty is in the eye of the beholder”, “Brewty is truth”, “You’re brewtiful”, “I need my brewty sleep”, “That’s the brewty of it”, and “The perception of brewty is a moral test”.
  • Bro* → Brew*: As in, “Am I my brewther’s keeper?”, “Big brewther is watching you”, “O brewther, where art thou?”, “Like a brewken record”, “A brewken vessel”, “That will definitely get us some brewnie points”, “Go for brewke”, “Knit one’s eyebrews”, “Raised eyebrews”, “If it ain’t brewke, don’t fix it”, and “Brew, do you even lift?”
  • See her → Seer: As in, “Where did she go? I can’t seer!”
  • See → Seer: As in, “As far as the eye can seer”, “Be the change that you wish to seer in the world”, “Can’t seer beyond the end of your nose”, “Can’t seer the wood for the trees”, “Come up and seer me sometime”, “Hear no evil, speak no evil, seer no evil”, “I can seer clearly now”, “Now you seer it, now you don’t”, and “Seer what the future has in store”. There are many more seeing-related phrases to make puns from, so be creative!
  • *ear → Seer: As in, “All seers”, “As cute as a bug’s seer” and “Don’t believe everything you seer (hear)”.
  • Sear → Seer: As in, “Would you like some seered eggplant?”
  • Cat: Use cat-related phrases to make puns about the classic witch’s familiar: “Black cat on a hot tin roof”, “Black cat got your tongue?”, “Curiosity killed the black cat”, and “The black cat’s pyjamas.”
  • Broom: Change broom-related phrases for broomstick puns: “A new broomstick sweeps clean”, and “Marry over the broomstick”
  • Room → Broom: As in, “A broom with a view”, “Smallest broom in the house”, “Standing broom only”, and “This is my broommate”.  
  • Stick: Change stick-related phrases for broomstick puns: “As cross as two broomsticks”, “Better than a poke in the eye with a sharp broomstick”, “Carrot and broomstick”, “Every broomstick has two ends”, “Five, six, pick up broomsticks”, “Got hold of the wrong end of the broomstick”, “In the broomsticks”, “More than you can shake a broomstick at”, “Short end of the broomstick”, “Speak softly and carry a big broomstick”, “Broomstick in the mud”, and “Broomsticks and bones may break my bones and words can contribute to systemic oppression”.
  • Rag → Hag: As in, “From hags to riches”, “Glad hags”, “Like a hag doll”, “Lose your hag”, and “On the hag.”
  • *oan/own → *crone: Replace the “oan/own” sound in words with “crone”, like so: “Ecroneous (erroneous)”, “Crone (groan)”, “Crone (grown)”, “Crone-up (grown-up)”, “Homecrone (homegrown)”, “Outcrone (outgrown)”, and “Overcrone (overgrown)”. 
  • Wand: Related phrases: “Goosey goosey gander, whither shall I wand-er?” and “Wave your magic wand”.
  • *wand*: Emphasise the “wand” in certain words: “Qwandaries (quandaries)”, “Rwanda”, “Sqwander (squander)”,  “Taekwando (taekwondo)”, “Wander”, “Wanderer,” and “Wanderlust.” Note: a quandary is a situation in which you’re indecisive. 
  • Motion → Potion: As in, “Going through the potions,” and “Slow potion.”
  • Chant: Use words either related to or containing “chant”: “Chantal,” and “Chanted,” and “Disenchanted,” and “Disenchantment,” and “Enchanting,” and “Merchant,” and “Penchant.” 
  • Can’t → Chant: As in, “An offer one chant refuse”, “Chant get enough”, “Chant stand it”, “I chant hear you!”, “It chant be helped”, “You chant say fairer than that”, “Chant see beyond the end of one’s nose”, “Don’t make promises you chant keep”, “Those who can have a moral obligation to do for those who chant”, and “If you chant stand the heat, get out of the kitchen”.
  • Exception → Hexception: As in, “I never forget a face, but in your case I’ll make an hexception,” and “There’s an hexception to every rule.” 
  • Checks → C-hex: As in, “C-hex and balances.”
  • Heck → Hex: As in, “Darn it to hex!”
  • Sex → Hex: As in, “Battle of the hexes,” and “Fair hex,” and “Gentle hex,” and “Group hex,” and “Safe hex.”
  • Puppet → Poppet: As in, “Like a poppet on a string,” and “Poppet master,” and “Sock poppet marketing.” Note: a poppet is a doll made and used in witchcraft to represent a person.
  • Cry → Scry: As in, “A scry for help”, “A shoulder to scry on”, “Big girls don’t scry”, “Scry from the heart”, “Scry into your beer”, “Scry your heart out”, “It’s my party and I’ll scry if I want to”, “Smile and the world smiles with you, scry and you scry alone” and “I don’t know whether to laugh or scry.” Note: to scry is to predict the future, usually with a crystal ball or other reflective object. 
  • Dousing → Dowsing: As in, “They’re dowsing the fire!” Note: Dowsing is a type of divination – historically in the context of trying to find underground minerals, but more commonly today used to refer to spiritual, witchy divination. 
  • Curse: Some curse-related phrases to make witch puns out of: “Commentator’s curse,” and “I’d rather light a candle than curse the dark,” and “Curses!”
  • *curse*: Use words that already have “curse” in them: “Curseor (cursor)”, “Precurseor (precursor)”, “Accursed”,Curseive (cursive)”, “Recurseion (recursion)”, and “Excurseion (excursion)”. 
  • Course → Curse: As in, “But of curse”, “A correspondence curse”, “Of curse you can”, “Crash curse”, “In due curse”, “Let nature take its curse”, “A matter of curse”, “On a collision curse”, “Par for the curse”, “Run its curse” and “The curse of true love never did run smooth”. 
  • Charm: Some charm-related phrases to help you make some witch puns on the fly: “Charm the birds out of the trees”, “Lead a charmed life”, “Southern charm”, “Third time’s a charm,” and “Works like a charm”.
  • Saucer → Sorcerer: As in, “Eyes like sorcerers.” 
  • Natural → Supernatural: As in, “Do what comes supernaturally,” and “Full of supernatural goodness”, “Supernatural born leader” and “Supernatural selection.”
  • Bell → Beldame: As in, “As sound as a beldame”, “The beldame tolls for thee”, “Saved by the beldame”, “The beldame of the ball”, and “The warning beldame.” Note: a beldame is an old, usually ugly woman – associated with crones, hags and witches. 
  • Worse → Warts: As in, “For better or warts,” and “From bad to warts.”
  • Cold Run → Cauldron: As in, “I woke up at five this morning for some cardio training. It made for a very cauldron”

Witch-Related Words

To help you come up with your own witch puns, here’s a list of related words to get you on your way. If you come up with any new puns or related words, please feel free to share them in the comments!

witch, witchcraft, witch-hunt, magic, wiccan, wicca, occult, white witch, black magic, bewitch, spell, brew, coven, familiar, black cat, broomstick, crystal ball, hag, crone, beldame, cauldron, wand, potion, incantation, chant, hex, jinx, runes, poppet, ritual, scry, divination, curse, enchant, charm, conjure, glamour, enchantress, sorcery, supernatural, juju, thaumaturgy

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Beer Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on beer puns! 🍻 🍺 Whether you need a name for your latest craft brew, a tagline for your beer-related business, a beer pun team name, or just some beer puns for their own sake, I hope you find this entry useful!

There’s a lot of depth to beer culture and so some of the puns in this entry may go over your head if you’re not a brewer or beer fanatic. I’ve tried to order the pun list so that it starts with general beer puns that most people will understand, and then as you go down the puns should get more obscure. That said, I have not done a perfect job of it, so apologies if there are some confusing ones here and there near the top.

A quick side note: Drinking alcohol gives your brain a reward that it didn’t earn. If you drink too often then your brain learns that the best (easiest) way to feel good is to drink more alcohol, rather than do the normal things that make you feel good (work hard, accomplish things, help others, etc.). Be careful messing with your neurotransmitters! 🙂

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on coffee puns, tea puns and food puns.

Beer Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about beer that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • All → Ale: As in “Ale in a day’s work.” and “She went ale out.” and “Ale’s well that ends well” and “It’s ale downhill from here.” and “It’s ale gone pear shaped.” and “It’s ale good.” and “It’s ale grist to the mill.” and “It’s ale me, me, me.” and “Not ale it’s cracked up to be.” and “That’s ale well and good”
  • Stout: As in “He’s a stout young man.”
  • Larger → Lager: As in “Lager than life”
  • Six-pack: As in “Check out my six-pack.”
  • Bar: As in “You’ve raised the bar.” and “Bar none.”
  • *pub*: If a word contains the “pub” sound (or similar) you may be able to make a terrible pub pun: capubility, capuble, palpuble, public, publicity, publication, publisher, republican, republic, unstoppuble, unpublishedinescapubly, hypubole, pubble (pebble).
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible beer brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this pub before?”
  • Hop: As in “Just a hop, skip and jump.” and “Take 3 hops to the left.” and “Hop to it!” and “Bunny hop” and “Hip hop
  • Hope → Hop: As in “I have high hops.” and “A glimmer of hop.” and “Cross your fingers and hop for the best.” and “Keep hop alive.” and “There there’s life, there’s hop.” and “Cross my heart and hop to die.”
  • Hop*: If a word begins with the “hop” sound (or anything vaguely similar) then there may be an opportunity for a terrible beer pun: “Health, wealth and hoppiness.” and “Life, liberty and the pursuit of hoppiness.”  and “As it hoppens” and “Shit hoppens.” and “See what hoppens?” and “Hopatitis is an inflammation of the liver.”
  • Op* → Hop*: If a word begins with “op” it can often be turned into a silly hops pun: hopportunity, hoperation, hopposition, hopinion, hoption, hoperate, hopposite, hoperations, hoperating, hopportunities, hopera, hopponent, hoperator, hoppose, hoptions, hopposed, hopt, hoperated, hopinions, hoperational, hoptimism, hopponents, hoperates, hoperators, hoppression, hoptimistic, hoptional, hopposing, hoptical, hoptimal, hop, hoperative, hopted, hoptimum, hoppressive, hopenness, hopting, hoppressed, hopenings, hoperand, hopioid, hoptimist, hoptimise, hopaque, hoperatichopposites, hoptician, hopportunist, hoptic, hopposes, hoptimisation, hopacity, hoppress, hoperatives, hopine, hoptimality, hoptics, hoppressors, hoptimised, hopiate, hoptimists, hoptimistically, hoppressor, hopulence, hoptimize, hoppositions, hopportunistic, hopportunism, hopulent, hopportune.
  • *op* → *hop*: There are also quite a few words with the “op” sound (or similar) in them that can be turned into silly beer puns. There are a few here which have the full “hop” sound in them already. Here’s the list: acrhopolis, adhopt, adhopted, authopsy, bihopsy, bookshop, cohoperation, cohoperative, c-hop-yright, cr-hop, drhoplet, drhoppings, drhopped, flhoppy, eavesdrhopping, helic-hop-ter, imprhoper, imprhoperly, inapprhopiately, microschopic, monhopoly, philanthrhopic, photoc-hop-ier, p-hop-corn, p-hop-ularity, p-hop-ulation, prhopaganda, prhopagation, pr-hop-erly, p-hop-ulist, prhopositions, prhopped, p-hop-ulation, raindrhops, shopkeeper, st-hop, st-hop-er, synhopsis, tr-hop-ical, unst-hop-able, whopping.
  • Vain → Vine: As in “I worked so hard but it was all in vine.”
  • Vein → Vine: As in “My vines are bulging.” and “In the same vine …”
  • Fine → Vine: As in “It’s a vine day for a beer.” and “It’s a vine line.” and “You’re cutting it vine.” and “That’s a damn vine beer.” and “One vine day …” and “Treading a vine line.”
  • Stain → Stein: As in “There’s a stein on your shirt.” (See beer stein)
  • Sign → Stein: As in “Give me a stein, lord!” and “Stein the pledge.” and “Stein up.” and “Stein of the times.” and “A sure stein.” and “A tell tale stein.” (See beer stein)
  • Sooner → Schooner: As in “Schooner or later.” and “The schooner the better.” and “No schooner said than done.” and “Schooner rather than later.” (A schooner is a type of glass cup.)
  • Tinkered → Tankard: As in “I tankard with this all day but I couldn’t get it working.” (A tankard is a big drinking vessel)
  • Sidle → Seidel: As in “I seideled up to her apologetically.”
  • Picture → Pitcher: As in “A pitcher is worth  thousand words.” and “See the big pitcher.” and “Motion pitcher.” and “Do I have to paint you a pitcher?” and “Pitcher perfect” (Pitcher is a synonym of “jug” – commonly used to serve beer.)
  • Pitcher: There is the potential for a pun here using the baseball meaning of this word.
  • Cling → Clink: As in “Clink on tight!”
  • Kink → Clink: As in “C’mon, be honest. Everyone has a clink or two.”
  • Blink → Clink: As in “In the clink of an eye.” and “Clink and you’ll miss it!”
  • Suds: This refers to the froth made from soap and water, but is also slang for “beer”. By using it in the original “soap and water” context you could potentially make a pun: “I got in the bath and sudsed up.” (Here we’re using the verb-form of “suds” with means “lather”)
  • Sides → Suds: As in “There are two suds to every question.” and “You’ve got to see the issue from both suds.”
  • Plastered: This means “very drunk”, but in the right context we could use its original definition as a pun: “The whole house is plastered.”
  • Wasted: As in “It’s so sad, seeing all these all wasted lives.” and “Youth is wasted on the young.”
  • Sloshed: Another one meaning “very drunk” – perhaps an opportunity to make a pun on its literal meaning: “We all sloshed around in the swimming pool for a while.”
  • Smashed, Hammered, Bombed, Legless, Messed up, Trousered, Trolleyed: Some more terms meaning “very drunk”. Each of them may have contexts in which there’s an opportunity to make a pun on its literal meaning – though these contexts may be quite specific.
  • Hang over → Hangover: As in “Mind if I hang over at your place this morning?”
  • Chug: As well as meaning “to drink fast or without pausing”, this term can refer to “The chug of a motor boat” or “The little train chugged up the hill.”
  • Hug → Chug: As in “Let’s have a group chug.” and “Chug it out.” and “Bro chug.”
  • Toast: When someone raises their beer in honour of something or someone and encourages everyone to do the same, that’s called a toast. There may be some context in which the other (normal) definition of “toast” could be punned upon.
  • Tears → Cheers: As in “Bored to cheers.” and “Burst into cheers.” and “Moved to cheers.” and “Reduced to cheers.” and “Fight back the cheers.” and “It will all end in cheers.” and “Blood, sweat and cheers.”
  • Cheers: This word also has the “the cheers of the crowd were deafening” definition which might be a viable opportunity for a pun in some contexts.
  • Tippy-toes → Tipsy-toes: As in “I snuck in on my tipsy-toes.”
  • Cough → Quaff: As in “I was quaffing all night, so I took the day off work.” (A “quaff” is an alcoholic drink and to “quaff” is to drink an alcoholic quickly or heartily)
  • Lick or → Liquor: As in “Are you going to have a liqu, or?” (Depending on your accent/pronunciation it may more like “lick her”. Please keep your puns respectful!)
  • Stubby: Refers to a beer bottle that is short and fat. This slang is taken directly from the actual definition of “stubby” so it’s an easy pun if the context is right.
  • Growler: A “growler” is a type of jug used to transport draft beer. The term has a bunch of other meanings which could be played upon in the right context.
  • Draught / Draft: Besides the beer-related meaning (beer served from barrel or tank), this term has several others: “He was drafted in 1942″ and “I drafted the letter of resignation.” and “The use of draft horses is outdated and cruel.” and “There was a nice draught coming through the window.” and “She was drafted for the national team at age 23.”
  • Dear → Beer: As in “Oh beer me” and “Hang on for beer life” and “Near and beer to my heart” and “Elementary, my beer Watson.”
  • Ear → Beer: As in “Grin from beer to beer.” and “Let’s play it by beer.” and “Lend a beer” and “In one beer and out the other.”
  • Peer → Beer: As in “Beer pressure” and “It’s like she was beering into my soul.”
  • Pier → Beer: As in “Take a long walk off a short beer.”
  • Bear → Beer: As in “Grizzly beer” and “Beer a resemblance” and “The right to beer arms” and “Beer down upon” and “Bear witness to …” and “Beer false witness” and “Beer fruit” and “Beer in mind that …” and “Bring to beer
  • Bare → Beer: As in “The beer necessities” and “Beer one’s teeth” and “Laid beer” and “The beer bones” and “The cupboard was beer
  • Buyer → Beer: As in “She’s a regular beer at our shop.” (Bit of a stretch!)
  • Beard → Beerd: As in “Neck beerd” and “His beerd was as white as snow.”
  • *ber* → *beer*: Words that contains the “ber” sound (or similar) are often opportunities for terrible beer puns: collabeerate, dismembeermentbeereavement, beereaved, abeerigines (aborigines), beerds (birds), beerthplace (birthplace), beerglary (burglary), beergeoning (burgeoning), cumbeersome, delibeeration, decembeer, cucumbeer, exubeerant, libeerties (liberties), libeerals, libeertarian, libeeration, novembeer, numbeers, pubeerty, membeership, reimbeers (reimburse), remembeer, reverbeeration, robbeeries, robbeery, slumbeer, sobeer (sober).
  • Be* → Beer*: More terrible beer puns can be made using words that start with the “be” sound: beerwilderment, beerlongings, beerbliography, beerseiged, beerstowed, beermused, beerwitched, beergotry, beertersweetbeerllionair.
  • Egs* → Kegs*: Some words which start with the “egs” sound (or similar) can be turned into very bad beer puns: kegs-istence (existence), kegs-iled (exiled), kegs-istential (existential), kegs-it (exit).
  • Tap: This has at least two beer-related meanings: “to tap a barrel” and “what’s on tap?”. It also has several non-beer related meanings which might be pun opportunities in the right context: “He tapped the window gently.” and “We’ve tapped all his phone calls.”
  • Head: The “head” is the frothy foam on top of a beer. Potential puns about: “Air head” and “Don’t mess with my head.” and “Above my head” and “Over my head” and “Bite someone’s head off” and “Be it on your head” and “Couldn’t make head or tail of it” and “It’ll do you head in” and “Get it into your head” and “Get your head together” and “Got your head screwed on” and “Hanging over your head” and “You need to get your head examined.” and “Head and shoulders above the rest” and “Head count” and “Head honcho” and “Head in the sand” and “Head to head” and “Hit the nail on the head” and “I could do that standing on my head” and “Head wind” and “Hold a gun to his head” and “In over your head” and “Laugh your head off” and “Level-headed” and “Lose your head” and “Make your head spin” and “Price on his head” and “Pull your head in” and “Sleepy head” and “Upon your head be it”
  • *eth’ll → *ethyl: “Ethyl” alcohol is the type of alcohol that is in alcoholic beverages like beer. Pun examples: “My brethyl smell really bad if I drink this.” and “At least my dethyl go down in history.”
  • Moult → Malt: As in “I started malting as I got older.”
  • Mould → Malt: As in “There’s malt all over my food!” and “Malty sandwiches don’t taste great.”
  • Tiny → Tinnie / Tinny: As in “The patter of tinny feet.” (“Tinny” is slang for a can of beer)
  • Krikey! → Krieky!: As in “Krieky! That’s a big croc!”
  • Coarse / course → Coors: As in “Of coors!” and “Off coors” and “University coors” and “Blown off coors” and “Crash coors” and “In due coors” and “Let nature take its coors” and “On a collision coors” and “Stay on coors” and “He had a coors voice from drinking too much.”
  • Bro, my → Brah, ma: As in “Brah, ma beer puns are great, hey?” (Brahma is a beer brand)
  • Heinie can → Heineken: As in “Get off your heineken you? We’ve got work to do!” (“Heinie” is slang for bottom)
  • Scull → Skoll: As in “” and “”
  • Bud wiser → Budweiser: As in “I’ve got a budweiser than than all you uneducated chumps.”
  • Wiser → Weiser: As in “None the weiser” and “Older and weiser
  • Bud: As in “We’re best buds” and “Nip in the bud
  • Too bored → Tuborg: As in “I didn’t stay at the partly long – I was Tuborg.”
  • Leffe → Left: Note that “Leffe” has two pronunciations. The French pronunciation sounds like “leff” and the Flemish pronunciation sounds like “leffer”. Here we’re punning with the French pronunciation. Examples: “Exist stage Leffe” and “Keep Leffe” and “Leffe for dead” and “Leffe in the lurch” and “Leffe out in the cold” and “Leffe wing” and “Leffe to your own devices” and “Out of Leffe field”
  • Leave her → Leffe: (Here we’re using the Flemish pronunciation, see above) As in “Leffe alone!” and “Are you going to Leffe anything in your will?”
  • A lesion → Elysian: As in “What happened to your leg? Is that Elysian?”
  • A legion → Elysian: As in “She has Elysian of fans following her wherever she goes.”
  • Stellar → Stella: As in “A Stella cast has been assembled.” and “The pub received Stella ratings in the guides.” (Wikipedia)
  • Bass: This refers to the famous brewery. If you’re punning with text (rather than speaking it out loud), you can play on the audio-meaning of “bass”: “I like clubs that have good Bass.” but since this has a different pronunciation, the only exact phonetic pun is on the fish of the same name.
  • Basically → Bassically: As in “I drink Bassically the same thing all the time.”
  • Millimeter → Millermeter: As in “A millermeter more and it would have been long enough!” We can do the same thing with other units of measurement too: “The can holds 375 millerliters.” and “We just needed one millersecond longer!” and “This cable is rated to 25 millervolts.” and “A millergram of this is enough to kill a person.”
  • Million → Milleron: As in “Not in a miller-on years.” and “One in a milleron.”
  • Meantime: As in “In the meantime, we should look for a new place.” (Meantime is a brewery)
  • Foster: As in “Foster a sense of confidence in the people.” and “A bar owner must Foster a happy, friendly atmosphere.” (Foster’s is a beer company)
  • Four peeks → Four Peaks: As in “It took me about four peaks to finally read the text.”
  • For Pete’s → Four Peak’s: As in “Four peak’s sake!”
  • Car owner → Corona: As in “All coronas must pay annual car registration fees.”
  • “Youngling” → Yuengling: As in “Youth is wasted on yuenglings” and “He’s a yuengling at heart.”
  • Pills → Pils: As in “I had to pop some pils to help with this headache.”
  • Pills and → Pilsen: As in “Pilsen booze are a fast track to a ruined life.” and “It’s up to parents to keep their kids away from pilsen booze.”
  • Back’s → Beck’s: As in “My beck’s really sort today for some reason.” and “Ow! My beck!”
  • Slits → Schlitz: As in “The surgeon has to make two schlitz in the intestinal wall.”
  • Shits → Schlitz: As in “He did it for schlitz and giggles.” and “You know what gives me the schiltz?”
  • Bitter: As in “He came to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Least→ Yeast: As in “Last, but not yeast.” and “Yeast common denominator.” and “It’s the yeast I could do.”
  • East→ Yeast: As in “I’m heading over yeast for a holiday.”
  • Grain: As in “I’m going to go against the grain here and say …” and “There’s a grain of truth in what he’s saying.” and “I’d take it with a grain of salt.”
  • Grainy: Other than referring to grain (some varieties of which are used to make beer), this can refer to a texture or to a low resolution photograph: “Your profile picture is a bit grainy.”
  • Ingrained: As in “It was ingrained in me from a young age.”
  • Again → A grain: As in “Come a grain?” and “Never a grain.” and “Time and time a grain.” and “Now and a grain.”
  • Wait → Wheat: As in “Wheat a second…” and “I am lying in wheat.” and “Wheat and see.” (See wheat beer)
  • We t* → Wheat: As in “Wheat talked about this last night.” and “Wheat took our time.”
  • We’d → Wheat: As in “Wheat love for you to join us!”
  • What → Wheat: As in “Wheatever, man.” and “Wheat are you up to today?”
  • Why → Rye: “Rye do you ask?” and “Rye do beer puns make me giggle?” and “Rye hast thou forsaken me?” and “Rye are you doing this to me?”
  • Wry → Rye: “A rye smile.” and “With rye Scottish wit.” (Rye is a type of grain used to make beer)
  • Rye: Words that contain the “rye” sound can be made into terribly silly beer puns (Since some beers are made with rye): alryete, bryete, Brydal, b-rye-testcircumscryebed, compryesed, contryeved, copyryete, cryesis, cryeterion, cryeme, dryevers, descryebe, enterpryese, depryeved, fryeday, fryed, fryetened, pryeceless, pryemarily, pryevacy, pryeority, pryez, ryenocerous, ryeteous, ryetfully, ryevalries, samurye, subscryebed, surpryesingly, tryeangle, ryeting, tryeumph, rye-fle.
  • Riled up→ Rye-led up: As in “Jeez, calm down. No need to get rye-led up!”
  • Barely → Barley: As in “I’m barley getting by.” and “That barley passes as a beer pun.”
  • Ought → Oat: As in “You oat to say sorry.” and “Five minutes oat to be enough time.”
  • Its / It’s → Oats / Oat’s: As in “Oat’s just a matter of time.” and “Oat’s a shame.” and “Oat’s nothing personal” and “Oat’s worth oats weight in gold.” and “Takes oats toll.” and “A life of oats own.”
  • Sore gum → Sorghum: As in “I’ve got sorgums because my toothbrush bristles are too hard.” (Sorghum is a grain crop often used to create alcoholic beverages)
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your beer” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Dry: As in “These tea puns are very dry.” and “Dry humour” and “Hung out to dry” and “Keep your powder dry” and “As dry as dust”
  • Will → Swill: As in “Against your own swill.” and “Bend to my swill” and “Love swill find a way.” and “Swill do.” and “Where there’s a swill, there’s a way.” and “Time swill tell.”
  • Back → Bock / Beck: As in “As soon as my bock is turned” and “At the bock of my mind” and “Bock to the Future” and “Bock from the dead” and “Bock in business” and “Bock in the day” and “Bock on your feet” and “He bocked out of the deal” and “Bock to bock” and “Cast your mind bock” and “Get off my bock” and “Fight bock the tears” and “Get bock on your feet” and “Get bock together” and “Hark bock to” and “Kick bock and enjoy” and “Laid bock” and “Money bock guarantee” and “On the bock burner” and “Never look bock” and “One step forward, two steps bock.” and “Put your bock into it!” and “Right bock at ya” and “Turn bock the clock” and “Watch your bock” and “You scratch my bock, I’ll scratch yours.” (Bock is a strong German lager, and the above examples can be replaced with “Beck” to play on the famous Beck’s brewery)
  • Back* → Bock* / Beck*: Words that begin with the “back” sound can also be silly beer puns: bockache, bockdrop, bockbone, bockground, bocklash, bocklog, bockside, bockroom, bockstage, bockward, bockyard, bockteria (bacteria), bockterium. (These examples can have “bock” replaced with “beck” to play on the famous Beck’s brewery)
  • Handy → Shandy: As in “This is a very shandy tool.”
  • Sandy → Shandy: As in “My towel is all shandy from the beach.”
  • Pass it → Posset: As in “Can you please posset over here?”
  • Spruce: As in “Make sure you leave some time to spruce yourself for the ball.” and “I’m all spruced up.” (See Spruce beer on Wikipedia)
  • Arrogant bastard: A simple pun on the brewing company.
  • I’m a real oldy → Amarilloldy: As in “Amarillo-ldy when it comes to my taste in beer.”
  • Citra → Sit ya: As in “Citra ass down!” – The name of a brew from Against the Grain. “Citra” is a variety of hops.
  • Nugget: As in “Nugget of wisdom” and “Nugget of truth” (Nugget is a hop variety)
  • Soz → Saaz: As in “Oh saaz! I didn’t mean to!”
  • Sim card → Simcoed: As in “I lost my phone so I need a new simcoed
  • Put her → Porter: As in “Porter down!” and “She porter hand to learning coding in her spare time.”
  • Fruity: Other than referring to the fruity taste or aroma of a brew, this term also has several slang definitions including being flamboyant or “bouncy”. It may also refer to someone who is considered crazy in some respect.
  • Noble: As in “That was very noble of you.” and “The four noble truths.” (“Noble hops” are traditionally hops which are low in bitterness and high in aroma, like Saaz)
  • Great → Gruit: As in “All creatures gruit and small.” and “I went to gruit lengths” and “Gruit minds think alike” and “The gruit outdoors” and “No challenge too gruit.” (Very corny! Gruit is an old-fashined herb mixture used for bittering and flavouring beer)
  • Asked → Oast: As in “Frequently oast questions” and “No questions oast” and “I took my harp to the party but no one oast me to play.”
  • Killin’ → Kiln: As in “She’s making a kiln!” and “Stop it, you’re kiln me!”
  • Nipple → Tipple: A tipple can refer to an alcoholic drink, or as a verb to “drink alcohol, especially habitually”.
  • Long neck → Longneck: A longneck is a common type of beer bottle.
  • Mouth feel → Mouthfeel: As in “It makes my mouthfeel funny, but it’s not too bad.” (See Wikipedia entry, Mouthfeel)
  • After taste → Aftertaste: As in “Aftertasting that beer, I’m not going back for seconds.” (See Wikipedia entry, Aftertaste)
  • Stupid → Stube-d: As in “Keep it simple, stube-d” and “Terminally stube-d” and “There’s no such thing as a stube-d question.”
  • Hey for → Hefe: As in “Hefe god’s sake could you cut it out?” (“Hefe” means “yeast” in German and sounds like “hay-fa”)
  • Goes up → Gose-p: As in “Right before it gose-p in flames.”
  • Say, son → Saison: As in “Saison, could you fetch me that spanner?”
  • Worth → Wort: As in “It’s wort it’s weight in gold.” and “For what it’s wort …” and “Get your money’s wort” and “Milk it for all it’s wort” and “Not wort a hill of beans” and “That’s my two cents wort
  • Ton / Tonne → Tun: As in “Came down like a tun of bricks.” and “That’s a tun of beer.”
  • Troop / Troupe → Trub: As in “A comedy trub is performing here tonight.” and “The trubs marched through the town.”
  • Least → Lees: As in “Last but not lees” and “Lees common denominator” and “Not in the lees” and “Line of lees resistance.”
  • Law to → Lauter: As in “There should be a lauter prevent people form making terrible beer puns.”
  • Lautering → Loitering: As in “There’s always a few shady people lautering around there at night.”
  • Spargin’ → Spare gin: As in “There wasn’t any spargin’ so I happily drank beer instead”
  • Tanning → Tannin: As in “Welcome to my tannin salon.”
  • For men t* → Ferment: As in “What we need is fermen to realise that catcalling isn’t friendly.”

Beer-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to beer can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the beer themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • (h)opposites attract
  • process of eliminating (h)options
  • a golden (h)opportunity
  • once in a lifetime (h)opportunity
  • window of (h)opportunity
  • contrary to popular (h)opinion
  • Adam’s ale
  • amber nectar
  • as drunk as a lord
  • as drunk as a skunk
  • as mild as milk
  • barrel of laughs
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • bring out your best (a Bud Light slogan)
  • crack a tinnie
  • crack/bust some suds
  • slam a drink
  • drink like a fish
  • driven to drink
  • drink up
  • drink someone under the table
  • full of hops
  • given to drink
  • life’s not all beer and skittles
  • pint sized
  • on the piss
  • rolling drunk
  • six pack
  • slave to drink
  • stout fellow
  • you can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make her drink
  • slam some beers
  • egg in your beer
  • small beer
  • knock one back
  • social drinker
  • bottoms up!
  • here’s to [someone/something]!
  • drink to excess
  • drown your sorrows
  • on a bender
  • on the rocks
  • make it a double
  • down the hatch
  • hair of the dog
  • happy hour
  • liquid courage
  • pub crawl
  • another round
  • two/three/four sheets in the wind
  • under full sail
  • under the influence
  • take the edge off
  • chin chin! (cheers!)
  • off their head
  • roll out the barrel
  • BYOB
  • on tap
  • Dutch courage
  • sudsing up
  • beer belly
  • trouble is brewing
  • a hop, skip and a jump
  • hip hop
  • clouded judgement
  • get you over a barrel
  • seperate the wheat from the chaff
  • barrel of laughs
  • belt down some liquor
  • as slow as molasses in january
  • cakes and ale
  • eat, drink and be merry
  • full head of steam
  • head in the clouds
  • hit the nail on the head
  • i’d lose my head if it wasn’t attached
  • i need it like a hole in the head
  • in over your head
  • my head is swimming
  • off the top of my head
  • off with his head
  • put a price on his head
  • two heads are better than one
  • keep your head above water
  • it’s all grist to the mill
  • walk like a drunken sailor

Beer-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of beer-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

brew, brewery, brewski, stein, schooner, tankard, seidel, pitcher, clink, suds, plastered, wasted, sloshed, smashed, hammered, bombed, messed up, hangover, hungover, chug, chugalug, sober, toast, cheers, drunkard, drunk, drunkenness, legless, tipsy, blotto, trousered, trolleyed, inebriated, quaff, sip, numb, corked, stubby, stubbies, ale, cask, cask ale, growler, draught beer, draft beer, draft, draught, keg, nitrokeg, tap, beer tap, head, prohibition, alcohol, alcoholic, alcoholism, ethyl alcohol, malt, hops, noble hops, beverage, liquor, liqueur, pub crawl, drink, wheat, rye, sorghum, barley, oats, millet, brewpub, rotgut, hooch, alcopop, tipple, tippler, intoxication, homebrew, beery, long neck, mouthfeel, aftertaste, imbibe, pub, bar, saloon, brasserie, vine, six-pack, tinnie, chaser, rathskeller, cellar, porter, cerveza, froth, frothie, coldie, swill, alehouse, stube, biergarten, beer garden, Oktoberfest, barrel, full-bodied, thin-bodied, publican, yeast, Ninkasi, palate, punt, chill, binge

bock, maibock, doppelbock, eisbock, weizenbock, altbier, berliner weisse, dortmunder export, dunkel, gose, helles, kellerbier, kolsch, marzen, pale lager, roggenbier, schwarzbier, smoked beer, wheat beer, zoigl, dubbel, Flanders red ale, lambicger, framboise, gueuze, kriek, oud bruin, quadrupel, saison, tripel, witbier, brown ale, Indian pale ale, mild ale, old ale, porter, Scotch ale, stout, amber ale, American pale ale, American wild ale, cream ale, ice lager, Kentucky common beer, pumpkin ale, steam beer, baltic porter, biere de garde, copper ale, corn beer, grodziskie, gratzer, hard soda, Irish red ale, light beer, malt beer, millet beer, pale ale, pilsner, rye beer, sahti, small beer, sour beer, Vienna lager, trappist, sommelier, root beer, apple beer, birch beer, ginger beer, horehound beer, oatmeal stout, sake, shandy, brown ale, posset, schankbier, spruce beer, weissbier, weizen beer, hefe, hefeweizen, Lowenbrau, Hamm, Arrogant Bastard, Fat Tire, Haffenreffer, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Nastro Azzurro

amarillo, cascade, centennial, chinook, citra, crystal, CTZ, fuggle, Golding, lambic, magnum, mosaic, Mt. Hood, Northern Brewer, nugget, Perle, Saaz, Simcoe, Tardif De Bourgogne, Williamette, cluster

Coors, Brahma, Harbin, Heineken, Yanjing, Skol, Budweiser, Bud, Bud Light, Tsingtao, Snow, Carlsberg, Tuborg, Leffe, Elysian, Stella Artois, Bass, Miller, Peroni, Meantime, Radegast, Foster’s, Molson Coors, Labatt, Bintang, Goose Island, Tecate, Amstel, Birra Moretti, Four Peaks, Kronenbourg 1664, Corona, Sam Adams, Guinness, Yuengling, Efes Pilsen, Dogfish Head, San Miguel, Becks, Heady Topper, Kingfisher, Harveys, Hoegaarden, Dos Equis, Sierra Nevada, Theakston, Mikkeller, Schlitz

steep, wort, mashout, lautering, lauter, lauter tun, mash tun, tun, mash, ferment, fermentation, turbidimeter, nephelometer, sparge, sparging, tannin, pH, chaff, husk, starch, starches, sugar, enzymes, dry hopping, sprouted, molasses, carbon dioxide, carbonation, grist, gluten, microbrewery, kegger, barm, leavening, barrelage, all-malt, amber, anaerobic, black malt, bung, caramel, dextrin, ester, filter, fining, malt-extract, priming, tart, milling, nitrogen, phenols, gruit, mugwort, oast house, kiln

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the beer-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see some funny beer pun images? Or perhaps you just want more beer puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any beer puns that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂

Coffee Puns

Welcome to the Punpedia entry on coffee puns! ☕ Whether you’re looking for coffee puns for a photo caption, crafting the perfect coffee pun pickup line, hunting for coffee one-liners, or just want some corny pun-based coffee jokes, I hope you’re able to find what you’re looking for here 🙂 If not, please leave me a comment at the bottom of the page!

Most coffee puns centre around one of 3 general topics: names of different types of coffee (espresso, mocha, etc.), coffee preparation utensils/procedures (plunger, grind, roast, mug, caffeine etc.) and coffee ingredients/products (sugar, grounds, cream, etc.). Mug puns seem to be a particular favourite on the internet and are included in this entry, but may also get their own entry at some point.

As usual there are related words, related phrase, coffee jokes, and visual coffee puns (comics, memes, etc.) further down the page.

You might also like to visit the Punpedia entries on tea puns and food puns.

Coffee Puns List

Each item in this list describes a pun, or a set of puns which can be made by applying a rule. If you know of any puns about coffee that we’re missing, please let us know in the comments at the end of this page!

  • Procrastinating → Procaffeinating: As in “I should have been studying for the exam, but I was procaffeinating.”
  • Grounds: As in “Grounds for divorce.” and “We don’t have the grounds for arrest.” and “These are the school grounds – they’re private property.”
  • Grounded: As in “My parents said I’m not allowed to drink coffee else I’ll be grounded.” and “Aeroplane have been grounded since yesterday due to the storms.” and “The boat grounded on a mud bank.”
  • Ground: As in “I fell to the ground.” and “We need to break new ground.” and “I built it from the ground up.” and “We need to find some common ground.” and “Get in on the ground floor.” and “We need more seed money to get it off the ground.” and “Hit the ground running” and “The moral high ground
  • Mug: This can be slang for “face” or for “attack or rob in a public place”. Examples: “I was mugged in broad daylight.” and “We have mug shots of this criminal back at the station.”
  • Bitter: As in “He cam to a bitter end.” and “That’s a bitter pill to swallow.” and “No need to be bitter! (resentful)”
  • Express → Espresso: As in “Espresso your opinions politely.” and “The espresso train only stops at 2 stations on the way.” and “Words cannot espresso how much you mean to me.”
  • Been → Bean: As in “We’ve all bean there.” and “You know, I’ve bean thinking…” and “Bean there, done that.” and “He’s a has-bean.” and “The die has bean cast.” and “I’ve bean had.” and “She’s bean in the wars lately.”
  • Unbeknown(st) →Unbeanown(st): As in “Unbeanownst to me, she made some enquiries.”
  • *peen* →*bean*: If a word contains the “peen” sound we can make some silly bean puns: Phillibeano (Phillipino), beanalize (penalize), unhappbeaness (unhappiness), subbeana (subpoena).
  • Enough →Beanough: As in “Beanough is beanough.” and “Beanough to make you sick.”
  • Enormous →Beanormous: As in “Your vegetable garden is beanormous!”
  • Beam → Bean: As in “Bean me up, Scotty!” and “Tractor bean.” and “Balancing bean.”
  • Bin → Bean: As in “It was in the bargain bean – 30% off!” and “Please put your rubbish in the bean.”
  • Pin → Bean: This one’s a bit of a stretch. Examples: “Bean the tail on the donkey.”
  • Means → Beans: As in “By whatever beans necessary.” and “A beans to an end.” and “Living beyond/within your beans.” and “The ends justify the beans.”
  • You → Brew: As in “Brew can do it!” and “Brew silly goose!” and “I’m so glad to see brew!” and “Before brew know it”
  • Bro → Brew: As in “What’s up, brew?” and “Cool story, brew.”
  • *brew*: If a word contains the “brew” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a brewing pun: brewmstick (broomstick), brews (bruise), brewnette (brunette), brewtal (brutal), brewtalize (brutalize), brewtish, (brutish), Hebrew.
  • *byoo*: If a word contains the “byoo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible coffee brewing pun: brewtiful (beautiful), abrews (abuse), attribrewts (attributes), contribrewted, distribrewtion, rebrewke (rebuke), debrew (debut), retribrewtion, tribrewnal (tribunal).
  • *proo*: If a word contains the “proo” sound (or similar) we can sometimes make a terrible brewing pun: abrewval (approval), bulletbrewf, dissabrewve, foolbrewf, imbrewvements, disbrewve, brewdent (prudent), brewdence (prudence), waterbrewf.
  • Déjà vu → Déjà brew: As in “I’m getting déjà brew – have we been to this cafe before?”
  • Lot → Latte: As in “A latte fuss about nothing.” and “I’ve got a latte on my plate right now.” and “It leaves a latte to be desired.” and “It’s beginning to look a latte like Christmas.” and “I love you a latte!”
  • Lot of → Latte: As in “I’ve got a latte problems.”
  • Cop → Cup: As in “The cuppers pulled me over because of my broken tail light.” and “When I grow up I wanna be a cup so I can fight crime.”
  • * she know → * -ccino: As in “How could -ccino?” and “Do you think -ccinos?”
  • Grind: As in “The daily grind” and “Grind to a halt” and “Axe to grind” and “Don’t let those bastards grind you down”
  • Grinned → Grind: This one’s super corny: “I grind and had a little chuckle when I read that coffee pun.”
  • Perk: This is a coffee/barista term for “to percolate” (verb) and “percolated coffee” (noun). Examples: “My new barista job has a lot of perks.” and “I perked up my ears when I hear someone mention my favourite author.” and “I was feeling drowsy but I perked up after my morning coffee.”
  • Heated, Strong: If you can mention these two words in close succession, it might pass off as a coffee pun: “This could easily turn into a strong, heated debate.”
  • Weak, Bland: As in “That’s a weak, bland way to look at the world.”
  • Strong, Dark: As in “There’s a strong, dark storm heading our way.”
  • Lukewarm: This means “lacking interest, enthusiasm or conviction” and also “mildly warm”. It’s often used to describe coffee that isn’t hot enough. Examples: “A lukewarm applause” and “Your coffee puns are lukewarm at best.”
  • Break: The term “coffee break” is well-known enough that you might be able to make a very subtle coffee pun using the word “break”. For example: “Break new ground” and “Break out in a cold sweat” and “Break ranks” and “Break your heart” and “Make a clean break”. You can also replace “brake” with “break” to make a nice coffee pun that’s a little more obvious: “break fluid
  • Temper → Tamper: A “tamper” is used to compress ground coffee into a portafilter: “He’ll lose his tamper.” and “He has a tamper-tantrum if he doesn’t get his morning coffee.”
  • Tamper: As in “Someone tampered with the brakes on my car.”
  • Shot: This term is often used to in coffee lingo to explain the different sizes and strengths of a particular style of coffee (single shot, long shot, double shot, etc.). Thus, we can use this to make a few sneaky puns: “It’s a long shot, but I think we ca do it.” and “That was a cheap shot.” and “Why don’t you have a shot at it?” and “I gave it my best shot.” and “Not by a long shot.” and “The money shot” and “You’ll get shot.” and “Shot in the dark”
  • Sentimental → Sedimental: As in “This antique coffee pot has a lot of sedimental value.”
  • The matter → Sumata: As in “What’s Sumatra with you?” (Sumatra is an Indonesian island that is well-known for growing coffee)
  • Depressed → Despressod: As in “I’m feeling a little despressod.”
  • Brazilian: Brazilian coffee is famous world-wide, and so the term “Brazilian” could be used as a coffee pun in the right context (so long as the usage is not referring to Brazilian coffee, obviously!).
  • Turkish: Same explanation as above.
  • Muddy: This is a term used to describe coffee that has lots of sediment/particles. Example usage: “The egg industry muddies the waters by funding rigged studies on cholesterol.”
  • Froth: As in “All froth and no substance.”
  • Show → Joe: A cup of coffee is sometimes called a “cup of Joe” and so “Joe” can be used as a synonym for “coffee”. Some pun ideas: “The greatest Joe on Earth” and “One-man Joe” and “Joe a little leg.” and “Joe some appreciation.” and “Steal the Joe.” and “The Joe must go on.” and “Joe me the ropes.”
  • Above her age → A beverage: As in “Her reading skills are a beverage” and “She pitches a beverage – that’s why she got into the national team.” and “She’s a beverage group in all her subjects.”
  • Shock → Choc: As in “I was in choc for a while after hearing about it.” and “Choc and awe” and “Choc horror” and “Culture choc
  • Coughing → Coffeeing: As in “There was so much coffeeing in the office – everyone had the flu.” and “”
  • Mock her → Mocha: As in “Don’t mocha like that – she deserves respect and consideration.”
  • Stimulate: As in “This was a stimulating discussion, but I need to go now.” and “The courses aim to stimulate a passion for learning.”
  • Under → Umber: “Umber” is a brown, earthy colour that is often used to describe coffee and coffee grounds. Examples: “Get umber your skin” and “Keep it umber wraps” and “Hot umber the collar” and “Six feet umber” and “Umber cover of darkness” and “Umber pressure” and “Umber the influence” and “Umber the microscope” and “Umber your breath” and “Water umber the bridge”
  • Roast: This can refer to when someone is being criticised severely, but is also an obvious reference to roasted coffee beans. Example: “If you waste her time she’ll roast you.”
  • Drip: Refers to a “weak, ineffectual” person (aka: pushover, weakling, doorstop). It’s related to coffee because “drip brewing” is a popular method of preparing coffee. Example: “He doesn’t enjoy coffee puns – he’s such a drip!”
  • Cold press: If you can incorporate the words “cold” and “press” into a sentence in close proximity, you can probably make a cold press coffee pun: As in “No need to be cold. Pressing on, …” and “Stay away from me! If I catch your cold I’m pressing charges.”
  • Milky: This means “weak and compliant”. Example: “They just talk that way to make you turn milky.”
  • Milk: This can mean “exploit” or “fleece” or “get all possible advantage from a situation”. For example: “The newspapers were milking the story for every possible drop of drama.” and “They milked me dry.” and “Milk it for all it’s worth.”
  • Sugar: This can be used as a replacement for “shit” as in “Oh sugar!”. It is also used as a term of endearment as in “How are you feeling, sugar?”
  • Fair tradeThis term refers to a social movement which seeks to help producers in developing countries and promote sustainable farming. It’s often used to refer to “fair trade coffee”. We can use it as a coffee pun fairly easily: “I’ll stop making coffee puns, and you give me ten dollars. Is that a fair trade?”
  • *sip*: If a word contains the “sip” sound, it’s an opportunity for a terrible pun on “sip” as in “to sip your coffee” (so long as you emphasise the “sip” part somehow): Mississipi, disiplinarian, munisipality, presipitate, partisiples, presipitated, prinsipally, resipient, resiprocity.
  • *sep*: If a word contains the “sep” sound it’s a chance to make a terribly corny “sip” pun (perhaps emphasise with hyphens or underline/bold): ac-sip-tability (acceptability), bisips (biceps), consiption (conception), consipt (concept), desiptive, impersiptable, desiptive, misconsiption, persiptive, resiption, resiptionist, resiptivity, resiptors, siparatists (seperatists), siparation, siparate, susiptability, intersipt.
  • Happy → Frappe: As in “Don’t worry, be frappe.” and “Frappe birthday to you!” and “Frappe go lucky” and “Go to your frappe place” and “Not a frappe camper!” and “We’re just one big frappe family.”
  • Or lay → Au lait: This means “with milk” in French so “cafe au lait” means “coffee with milk”. It is pronounced like “aw lay”. Example pun: “We gonna get up and do something au lait here for a bit longer?”
  • Or lie → Au lait: (See explanation above) As in “Don’t cheat au lait – it’s immoral.”
  • Cup: This has a few different meaning outside of the normal one. The term “cup” is used in the measurement of bra sizes, and can be used as a verb for “form into the shape of a cup” (especially when referring to hands). These other definitions might be opportunities for subtle cup puns / coffee puns.
  • Robust → Robusta: Robusta is a variety of coffee (the other main one being Arabica). The adjective “robust” means “strong and/or healthy” or “rich and flavoursome”. Example: “He is a very robusta young fellow.”
  • They can’t → Decant: As in “They’re banned. Decant come back here.” and “Decant stop me. I can do anything.”
  • Percolate: This is a term  which describes a part of the coffee brewing process, but it’s actually a more general word that means “filter gradually through a porous surface or substance”. Thus we can use it as a synonym for “spread” or “be disseminated” or “filter”.
  • Earn → Urn: As in “I don’t urn much at the moment, but I’m working my way up.” and “You’ve urned it.” and “Urn an honest penny.” (This is a reference to hot-water “urns” which are often used to boil water for coffees in “break rooms”/kitchens at work places)
  • Felt her → Filter: As in “I filter breathing down the back of my neck.” and “I filter gaze fall on me.”
  • Filled her → Filter: As in “She has filter coffee pun quota for today.”
  • Barely → Barley: Barley coffee (or “caffè d’orzo”) is a widely available coffee alternative in Italy which is caffeine-free. If you’re particularly deep down the coffee pun rabbit hole, then this may be a viable pun.
  • Plunge → Plunger: As in “Take the plunger!” and “She jumped form the jetty and plungered into the sea.” (A reference to “coffee plungers“)
  • I forgot → Afforgato: As in “Afforgato where I parked my car.” and ” I had another coffee pun but affogato it.” (Affogato is an Italian coffee-based dessert)
  • Grandma → Crema: As in “Crema just doesn’t stop talking.” and “My crema make the most amazing hot chocolate.” (Crema is the name for the brownish foam on the top of freshly made espresso.)
  • Grammar → Crema: As in “Your crema is terrible.” and “Crema Nazis just like to feel good about themselves.”
  • Puck: This refers to compacted, spent coffee grounds from a portafilter. A few different puns can be made from this: “Oh puck!” and “The child’s face puckered, ready to cry.” and “Don’t press your puck.” and “Puck of the draw.” and “Beginner’s puck.” and “A bigger bang for your puck.” and “Puck naked.” and “Make a quick puck.”
  • Pull: Espresso shots are “pulled” – a holdover from when machines were lever operated. This may be s subtle one depending on the audience. Examples: “She doesn’t pull any punches.” and “Are you pulling my leg?” and “Pull the plug.” and “Pull your hair out” and “Pull yourself together!” and “Pull your finger out”
  • Nutty: A commonly used adjective in coffee lingo to describe a pleasant flavour of walnut, almond, hazelnut or other nuts. Examples: “Your coffee puns are a little nutty.” and “He came up with quite a few nutty proposals.”
  • Saucy / Saucier → Saucer: This is a corny one. “Saucy” has different meanings in different places. Sometimes it has a sexual connotation, other times it means “cheeky”. You’ll have to construct your pun with the audience in mind.
  • Settle → Kettle: As in “Kettle down everyone.” and “We should kettle this out of court.” and “I’ve got a score to kettle.”

Coffee-Related Phrases

Common phrases, idioms and cliches which are related to coffee can be used for some subtle and witty word play. Here is a list of the coffee themed phrases that we’ve found so far:

  • back office bean counter
  • not worth a hill of beans
  • don’t cry over spilt milk
  • came to a bitter end
  • take the bitter with sweet
  • a bitter pill to swallow
  • get in on the ground floor
  • both feet on the ground
  • hit the ground running
  • in hot water
  • that and a quarter will get you a cup of coffee
  • spill the beans
  • cool beans
  • not my cup of tea
  • tea and sympathy
  • brake fluid
  • you got creamed
  • different kettle of fish
  • the pot calling the kettle black
  • a watched pot never boils
  • between the cup and the lip
  • a storm is brewing
  • storm in a teacup
  • trouble is brewing
  • Have another? Please share it in the comments at the bottom of the page!

Coffee-Related Words

There are many more puns to be made than could be documented in this Punpedia entry, and so we’ve compiled a list of coffee-related concepts for you to use when creating your own puns. If you come up with a new pun, please share it in the comments!

espresso, flat white, bean, beans, caffeine, drink, cappuccino, cappa, java, java bean, arabica, iced, beverage, chocolate, coffee tree, mocha, stimulant, stimulated, cocoa, decaffeinated, coffee maker, barista, brew, Starbucks, Dome, cafe, latte, liberica, umber, brown,  decaf, demitasse, roast, roasting, drip, cold press, milk, milky, sugar, fair-trade, organic, sip, sipping, frappe, instant coffee, cafe au lait, coffee pot, hot, cup, cupful, teaspoon, black coffee, white coffee, café, nescafe, addictive, macciato, latte macciato, kahlua, decanter, percolate, percolator, robusta, ground, grind, chicory, urn, cafe noir, coffee break, cafetière, French press, filter, saucer, barley coffee, plunger, Turkish, lukewarm, tepid, muddy, Bazillian, rich, aroma, aromatic, bitter, Earthy, full-bodied, Americano, affogato, Chemex, dripper, cold drip, cortado, crema, dark roast, green beans, latte art, nel drop, flannel drip, portafilter, puck, pull, redeye, ristretto, slow dripper, aftertaste, malty, nutty, chai, degas, siphon brewer, mazagran, mélange, mochaccino, kettle, napoletana, ristretto, schlagobers, skilly, zurf, Biggin, tea, weak, strong, perk, mug, Sanka, Sumatra, cream, pumpkin spice latte, tamper, blend. blended, lungo, sediment, froth, stain.

Coffee Jokes

If you’re looking for some very corny coffee jokes, you’ve come to the right place. All of these one-liner-style coffee jokes use puns in their punchline. Some are phonetic puns, others are based on a slang phrase or cliche related to coffee.

  • How did the hipster burn her tongue? – She drank her coffee before it was cool.
  • What do you call a cow who’s just given birth? – De-calf-inated
  • What’s it called when you steal someone’s coffee? – A mugging!
  • Why do they call coffee “mud”? – Because it was ground a couple of minutes ago.
  • Why is a bad cup of coffee the end of a marriage?  – Because it’s grounds for divorce.
  • How are coffee beans like kids? – They are always getting grounded.
  • How is divorce like an Espresso? – It’s expensive and bitter.
  • What do you call sad coffee? – A despresso.
  • What’s the opposite of coffee? – A sneezy!

Coffee Pun Images

Below is a collection of coffee-related visual puns and meme-type images. If you’ve created your own visual coffee puns or found one that we’ve missed, please post us a link in the comments section 🙂

Did this Punpedia entry help you?

Did you find the coffee-related pun that you were looking for? If so, great! Otherwise, please let us know what you were looking for in the comments, below! Are you looking for puns for text messages, Facebook, Twitter, Reddit, or some other social media platform? Would you like to see more funny coffee pun images? Or perhaps you just want more coffee puns for your photo captions? Whatever the case, please let us know, and help us improve this Punpedia entry. If you’re got any coffee puns (image or text) that aren’t included in this article, please submit them in the comments and one of our curators will add it as soon as possible. Thanks for visiting Punpedia 🙂